Muse

First time at the program, I can always spot a newbie. It's my fifth year with Wings. I guess Paul McCartney's got nothing on me, huh?

Love, take me down to the streets. It's not a Wings song. Yeah, it's one of their hits from the 70s. I'm not sure which one. It's not a... it's not. It isn't? No. I think it might be. It's not. Nobody sings that song. I don't know about that. I'll have to Google it. It's TBTL. well well here we are i want to congratulate you for being on time i got recognized on the street today guy had already met me and then forgotten he met me and then recognized me from tv and then remembered me again do not put that on the imaginary radio show you sound like you might be a little bit jealous babe no and i i know a little something about being jealous because people have been jealous of me my entire life i feel so full of what's the opposite of shame

pride no not that far from shame yeah all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live spock sabotage the system my name is luke burbank i'm your host oh yeah coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center in portland oregon where i don't know how i'm going to start the show now that i don't have the weather to complain about that was a that was really just the the gift that kept giving in terms of content every day me starting the show complaining about how it was rainy playing denzel washington tape you know well into june didn't know you like to get wet though but like it became the first day of summer and then the weather just got the memo and it is gorgeous today. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. In fact, it's a little too warm. I feel warm and I'm levitating. That's what I can complain about. I used to complain about the rain, and now I can complain that it's actually too warm. I think it's going to be in the 90s this weekend, here in the Northwest. It's going to be in the 3,711s here on today's episode.

Let the fun begin.

That is the episode in a collector's series that we have arrived at together. I arrived at a very fancy restaurant last night To stand in line and get to say four words to Russell Wilson himself Mr. Unlimited I went in with big plans And, well, it doesn't always go your way As the intro tape from yesterday's program specified Sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes the bar eats you I've always thought it's weird that Sam Elliott says, I think he's trying to say bear. Why does he say it like that? It's weird. But anyway, I had a plan going in and my plan got messed with by security. Anyway, I'll tell you about that. Plus, we're going to try healthy Coke live on air.

It tastes like soot and hot water.

I'm hooked. tiktok trend where you put balsamic vinegar and bubble water together and it's supposed to taste like coca-cola but i guess be better for you so we'll do that coming up plus emails and vmails and this guy the longest running cobro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships he never misses the sausage fest i'm starting to feel like a corn dog and a

hot dog party and it ain't flattering i'll tell you that he's andrew walsh and he's joining me

right now good morning my friend good morning i'm glad to hear that it's sunny and nice there because i thought that the weather was going to be sunny and nice here going forward yesterday was a beautiful day the first beautiful day in a long time on the first day of summer if you're noting it on the calendar uh and as i predicted summer would come the weather would turn nice and the Mariners would be good at baseball again. And everything was clicking for 24 hours yesterday. But now today we wake up. It's wet on the ground. It's gray overhead. And I'm worried the Mariners are going to be bad again. But if it's nice in Portland, maybe my theory will hold that summer has begun. The boys of summer, which is a term I hate, will begin to warm up or continue to warm up. And the Mariners are going to not just go to, but win the World Series.

The Portland Pickles are certainly going to play well. We know that much. Yes. Yes. I'm going to a Pickles game. When? With Becca. When? I think maybe July 1st or something. It's a Friday night home game for the Portland Pickles.

I'm going to look at the calendar. I'm going to see if they have any, is it like a good giveaway night? Or are they playing under like a different team name like sometimes they do in the minor leagues? Now, they're not the Savannah Bananas. Okay. Right. Have you?

you heard about the savannah bananas they were just written up in the new york times right is that the team that has all the dancing and everything yeah they're on tick tock and everything i was actually supposed to do a tv story about them last year during the pandemic but for one reason or another didn't come together um i think honestly they take it a little bit far like i i like that they do funny things and apparently it's quite popular there in savannah But it's like, actually, I think maybe I like this rule change. I had heard from someone, I think somebody might have emailed into us, right, that if you catch a foul ball, if a fan catches a foul ball for the opposing team, they're out. No, this is news to me. I didn't know that. I think that, I don't know if it, I guess it would have to apply to both teams. But I had heard a rumor that one of the weird, quirky rules they've set up there is if a fan catches a foul ball, the person who hit the foul ball is actually out. Oh, wow. That really adds a dimension It really does And also as a fan You need to know You need to keep your eyes open As far as who's on Who's at the plate I should say Right exactly Because I mean Obviously if you're a Bananas fan You don't want to get your team out Right But yeah they do All kinds of TikTok dances and things I mean again it feels to me Like it has really moved Kind of pretty far from baseball Which is totally fine If that's what people want to watch but it's it seems like it it it does not resemble what i think of as a baseball game as much as just like a fun public event with a lot of dancing and and and you know like i think there's a guy who like lights his bat on fire oh wow and like so i mean i don't know what the ruling is on that i don't know what um angel hernandez would say about that if your tie france would be allowed to light his bat on fire during a real fun person so i'm sure he'd be cool with it uh yeah no i'm with you that sounds a little bit like it sounds like a little bit much it's kind of like well do you want some sprinkles on your ice cream or do you want some ice cream with your sprinkles you know what i mean like uh it's a lot it's a lot of sprinkles by the way you will be going if you are going on july 1st it is rocking the walk night which means um you can enjoy some local live music uh for the third annual rocking the walk night i assume the walk is the area around the stadium that the pickles play maybe i've never been to a game so is it spelled w okay No, I have an accent. Walk. W-A-L-K. Walk. Oh, okay. Walk. Walk. I wondered if maybe they called... That'd be kind of cool if you had a baseball stadium, but you called it the walk. Because it's kind of like a bowl, maybe? Yeah, because it's kind of like a big bowl. Sure, yeah. So it's rockin' the walk night. Rockin' the walk night, Luke. Read my lips. No, no, I didn't actually think... Listen, I say the word walk and walk almost indistinguishable from each other. I don't think you messed that up. Because I'm not looking at the word. I just want the clarification.

Well, I do wonder, though, there must be something about my Midwestern accent that rounds that shit out, I'm guessing. The only thing that you say really drastically different from me is when you have a friend and you're reading the word P-A-L, I would say that as pal. Right. And you would say it a little bit more as pale. Oh, that's funny. So maybe I'm overcompensating on that. Yeah. But other than that, I think you talk real good. PayPal. So are we, you know what, I don't have the show sheet in front of me. Is now the moment? Can we recap what happened last night when you got to meet Mr. Unlimited? Or do you want to wait and reveal that? No, let's get into it. But I want to manage everyone's expectations. It didn't go as planned. The bar ate me. I meant to bring this up to you yesterday. Why do you think he says it like that? Do you know that that was a huge conversation we had on TBTL back in, like, I'm going to say, I want to say it was my early days of being in L.A. What did we decide? Well, I was blown away. Actually, this might have even been when I was still in Seattle and we were doing it from your house. I learned on this show that that is him just saying bear. Boy, it's all coming down to pronunciations and, I guess, local pronunciations. But I always thought he was just saying bar As in it was some old saying about like you drink too much And the bar eats you as you're sitting at the bar drinking And I think you're the one who told me that it's actually him saying bear Or a listener told us together I don't know what your journey is on this Because did you used to think it was bar as well? Yes Yeah I'm probably now just sort of restating whatever I said many years ago because i've completely forgotten about that conversation but yeah i had this weird image of like someone biting down on the corner of a bar like yeah i don't know why my brain just you know because like sometimes you eat the bar it's like i i don't i i think i thought maybe you're like so Thank you.

drunk and you fall and yep sure like bite the bar you're just gonna slump down i mean i think that you and i had very similar sort of images just like to the point where you're hanging off the bar maybe or your chin is hanging off of it and the bar ate you but because and again apologies if i'm just rehashing something here but like no one pronounces it that way except for that character well unless that is a specific is that like an arkansas accent like i don't know i'm just pulling no hat like what i don't know what kind of an accent is that well sometimes i was about to go into it i should play it i'm gonna um try to call up the tape here i just don't feel like i've never andrew i've traveled to most most parts of this beautiful land we live in and i don't think i've ever heard anyone say bear as bar here let me see if i can i'm gonna try look out there's a bar over there maybe a pirate sometimes you eat the bar sometimes the bar while he eats you yeah and he says he eats you which really yeah i don't i've never heard that accent anywhere and i mean i guess leave it to the coen brothers to that's you know kind of up there in terms of some of the iconic lines from that movie although that movie has a lot of iconic lines um and it's it's just an odd it's a very odd decision by by the actor by the coen brothers by everybody involved okay yeah i'm trying to look up sam elliott uh sam elliott's like accent i'm sure there's he's a million university of oregon i think he's from like central california or so that's right oh and that's right and he was the one who was kind of saying some stuff that was not very pleasant About modern cowboy movies He walked that back a little bit He apologized if I remember right But anyway okay so here's the setup Becca Through her work Got invited to this event Where Russell Wilson was going to come And like hang out with a bunch of people This was sponsored by Alaska Airlines He is of course chief football officer Of Alaska Airlines And he maintains that role even though He is no longer associated with Seattle That is true Well, he was in this room last night, you know, I assume, you know, being paid handsomely for it due to his relationship with Alaska Airlines. Yeah, of course. I think he's still working with them. So it was this very kind of cool Portland restaurant and bar called Departure, which was apropos because it's an airline. And we got there and people were just sort of milling about. It was free food and drinks. And I got a drink and I sat down and I was just doing a little kind of warm-up quizzing of Becca as to how she thought things were going to go down. Okay, it's right before the Russell Wilson event starts. I'm sitting here with Becca. Becca, what do you think the chances are of me getting Russell Wilson to say, Hey, Andrew, what's up from Mr. Unlimited?

I'd say the chances are high.

So, by the way, I decided that my plan was to try to video on my phone Russell Wilson and get him to say to you in the person of Mr. Unlimited, what's up, Andrew, from Mr. Unlimited. That was my plan. And that's perfect because I am Mr. Limited. I am the complete opposite. I limit myself every day, and I love it. Right. And I was hoping that maybe if I could get this tape, it would bring you out of your shell a little bit. It would get you drinking balsamic vinegar. Nope. More on that in a moment. Mr. Limited on that score. We're going to talk about that coming up when we try the healthy Coke. So that was the plan. Really based on the vibe of the room, did they tell you anything? Are they going to line us up and let us?

We have MVP guest passes, and we're in certain groups, and that's when we get to meet him.

Oh, so that's like it's scheduled, so it's happening.

Scheduled, it's happening.

What are you going to have him do? What inside TVTL joke are you going to have Russell Wilson do?

You can't put me on the spot for TVTL jokes.

Are you nervous about meeting Russell Wilson?

Yeah, I am. I mean, I couldn't pick him out of a crowd, but I'm shaking in my sandals.

Were you more nervous about meeting me, regional public radio host, or for the first time, or Russell Wilson?

You.

That's the right answer. Okay, we'll see how this goes. So I was under the impression that just like Russell Wilson was just going to be in this restaurant kind of circulating and like people were just going to like shoot their shot, you know, like take a walk over to him and shake his hand. And I didn't realize how formal it was going to be. So we had, you know, we had like these lanyards and they had numbers on them. And so that you were either in group one, two or three. It was a very kind of with military precision. And I assume the groups were maybe of maybe three to four couples, six to eight people. Maybe we have families there. What do we know about the groups at this point?

your journey uh i think probably well there was probably i'm gonna say there was 150 people in this maybe not that many maybe 100 so i think i just i think the groups were just thirds so whatever the pretty big groups okay yeah pretty big groups it was kind of a line you know so we were group uh one but before that before the they they introduced russell wilson so we're all there we're having our drinks we're sitting around we're anticipating and then they so without further ado Please, everybody, help me welcome Alaska Airlines Chief Football Officer, Russell Wilson. Let's ride. How's everybody doing? What's that? Let's ride. It was interesting seeing Russell Wilson in person, like not in his football uniform and not being interviewed after a game. he is i mean he's obviously in incredible shape i mean he has more sports scientists advising him you know and studying his you know body fat level and muscle twitch and everything like probably as much as anybody on planet earth but he does not he's not massive like he's he's i'm taller than him i mean much has been made of that just that he's not that tall for a quarterback but he's he's a kind of a regular looking dude he was more regular looking than i expected oh really oh i I didn't think that's where it was going to go. I'm picturing he's probably got little scientists inside of his body, right? Like inner space. Yes, they live inside of nanobubbles. Yes, exactly. That's how they get in there. But it was, I have to admit, it was a bit surreal because as he's standing on the stage, and he has his, you know, kind of his shtick. So I have the tape of that, but it's not particularly interesting, as you might imagine, Andrew. He kind of gets on stage, and he sort of just, it would appear that he, somebody told him he was just talking to alaska airlines employees which was totally not true because he kept it was kind of funny because it was sort of the who's who of like the portland business scene like you had to be you had to be in with alaska airlines or in with some other business consortium to even get on the list for this thing and he just kept talking about how like it was such an honor to be there and he's probably been on flights with us and he's and he's and he was out at the horizon facility and he just it was obvious that somebody had given him slightly bad intel as to who he was talking to i could see that he's got a million things and somebody says oh this is the alaska event and so he's just you know he's got yeah and i that's actually very reasonable too i i think absolutely i mean he was very charming he was exactly how i expected him to be he was super charming he was pretty i would say boilerplate with his comments um and he sort of jumped up on stage and was talking to the whole room and this was in advance of of the photo op so So he got up on stage, kind of thanked everyone, talked about how excited he was to be there, which I was like, if I'm being honest, I bet you he's more excited to play in the Super Bowl than to do a corporate meet and greet.

But he did a good job of making everyone feel like he was happy to be there. And then they whisked him away to this photo area where then we all lined up to take the picture. And this is where, Andrew, I really kind of screwed up because my plan was so I started I started my video on my phone like as soon as they called group one. So I'm sort of getting in line. Becca and I are standing in line and we get to there's like these two people from Alaska Airlines who are kind of the last people you see before you get to go stand with Russell Wilson for four seconds. Right. And I thought you'd say the last people you see before you die. And I was like, wow, the stakes got really high in that room. Well, you know, when I met Russell Wilson, Andrew, I thought I had died. That is true. That is true. But so, first of all, they see Beck and I walk up, and they're like, oh, you're going to take the picture together? And I'm like, no, we're separate. And the people were totally confused. And this was just because I was trying to do this stunt. If it was a normal— Sure, right. Legitimately, I didn't want to ruin Beck's photo with having my phone out in the picture. Because, of course, they have a professional photographer. you're standing in front of one of the things called a step and repeat and so um is the popsicle man there that was the sound of me loading up hex empire the game i sometimes play in the background my apologies that's what it's uh andrew i did all of this for you no no i'm listening man this is how i zone in this is me zoning in please do not take that as an insult at all no it's almost always on but so i messed up here's how i messed up i took my phone out of my pocket to check it to make sure it was still rolling and then they saw the phone and they said we're not doing phones so then i put the phone back into my pocket i left it rolling of course but it's the worst audio of all time so i'm gonna so hold on one second that you're not doing the phones in other words they have their own photographer, they will take the photo.

And then they will get you the photo. They're not leaving this up to anybody else's angles or. Yeah, that's control. It is not a selfie situation.

I thought I was. My plan was just to basically hijack the photo.

Yeah.

When I get to him, just saying, hey, Russell, and then holding up my cell phone. But my critical error was that I checked. I pulled my phone out of my pocket while I was still standing near the people that were like basically security. And they saw me with the phone and they said no phone. yeah yeah and i if i would have just waited two more minutes if i would have waited until it was

me and russell then they couldn't have really done much about it i'd love to complain about the fact that it's so like that they tighten things up so much but on the other hand like i guess in this case we slash you are the reasons why they have to yes tighten things up so much

so i was going to try to win that one so at that point my entire plan evaporated because what i wanted i've already said this now but what i wanted him to do was wish i wanted him to somehow talk to my friend andrew in the person of mr unlimited yeah but now that i don't have a recording device that he knows about yeah i can't say could you give my friend andrew a shout out as mr unlimited it would make no sense because we're not recording anything so i walk up to him this is you'll just hear this audio is just absolutely terrible but this is my cell phone like in my pocket now it starts kind of with them telling me we're not doing phones thank you so i don't know if you could kind of hear that in the background but somebody said oh no we're not doing phones so now the phone goes back in my pocket and now i'm also i'll mention i'm about one and a half martini is in at this point which i don't think was helping my sharpness so that's russell wilson he called you brother brother yeah cool and i said big badgers fan because i don't know what in my one and a half martini brain i thought that was funnier than saying i'm a big seahawks fan uh-huh sure like i have no connection to the university of wisconsin I just know that he likes to say from a whole from a big old pack of Badgers because he played football at the University of Wisconsin. And again, somehow in my brain, that made me funnier or cooler than just saying what I really am, which is a huge Seahawks fan.

Right. And also, I mean, how do you I mean, not that people haven't done that, but I mean, what do you he's not a Seahawk anymore anyway.

And it's a touch issue among Seahawks fans. So what's the point? You know, I mean, I guess if I would if I had it to do over again, if I really sat down again, And I was just thrown by I had this whole plan with my phone. And now that I can't do that, I have no plan, you know. So I'm kind of flailing here. But I think if I had it to do over again or here's what I'm trying to say. If I actually was going to hang out with Russell Wilson, if I was going to get to have a meaningful conversation with him, I would legitimately say, dude, you have been responsible for probably four or five of the greatest sports moments of my life. You know, I mean, I really like the guy. The guy really did create some of my very happiest sports memories. so I would actually love to have a conversation with him or try to impress that upon him this

was not that moment though could it have been if you weren't trying to do a bit for tbtl and now I worry that we've sort of taken that moment because that's actually really nice like I always think when I meet a famous person like they don't care like hey big fan big fan if you meet a musician big fan of your music I mean they they hear that a thousand times a day every day like that's again not that it's there's anything wrong with saying that or that I have to be super creative but i always feel like what's the point whereas what you just said is actually really sweet and is a sweet way of putting it and i almost wonder if do you regret not just being

more earnest and not trying to do this thing to make me laugh no because the the look in russell wilson's eyes and i don't blame him for this okay but like he was he was somewhere in uh you know Outside of Denver at his beautiful home With his family by the pool He had astrally projected out of that situation And he was exactly like you expect him to be He made eye contact, he was very pleasant But he was not I don't think he was in the mental or emotional place To receive that information from me in a meaningful way Of course, yeah There's 150 people who he's shaking hands with And they're taking a picture as fast as possible Like the whole thing was under 10 seconds Right? But then the weird part was I said, big Badger fan, and he goes, oh, did you go to Wisconsin? And then I just lied and said yes for some reason.

It would have been fun here if you had said no. I'm kind of in a fugue state here.

I don't know if you'll be able to hear this. I'm actually just going to start this tape over again because, like I said, it's a little bit hard to sort of make out what's going on. But this starts with them telling me no phones.

Thank you.

Did you go to Wisconsin?

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. I heard a quick yeah, man. Okay.

So now they take the picture.

so the now the photo's over and what i'm starting to say to him is whatever happened to mr unlimited uh-huh so now i'm just trying to like get an answer on what's going on with mr unlimited so

here we go he goes we still got him we still got him but then he says okay man and he says he's

still alive oh he said mr unlimited is still alive andrew this is the breaking news that i have for and then because I really do want to see if I can plant a seed in Russell Wilson's brain to bring back Mr. Unlimited I then tell him don't sleep on Mr. Unlimited

and see he says okay gotcha or something at the end you said don't sleep on Mr. Unlimited so now though this is the key thing has anybody checked Russell Wilson's socials in the past 24 hours has Mr. Unlimited made an appearance again i have not i'm guessing the answer is no but what i'm hoping is

that little moment planted a seed um that you know at some point down the road we will see the re-emergence of mr unlimited on social and i can claim some credit for it for that yeah i have to believe that i am the only person at that event or maybe ever who said to russell wilson

don't sleep on mr unlimited i think now he has not tweeted since that event which makes me think he's still thinking about it i feel like that's he might be workshopping some ideas that's not true actually he tweeted a bible verse two hours ago i'm mistaken i actually was mistaken there

he hadn't anything in a couple of days from is it from first unlimited chapter two it's

is it um i'm saying philippians it is philippians okay four seven philippians four seven anyway What's Philippians 4-7? And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. We had a song about that when I was a kid.

I've got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart. I've got the peace that passes understanding down in my heart, down in my heart to stay.

That is what you should have sang to Russell Wilson. I know. Dang it. Missed opportunity. I could have really, I could have really Bibled out with it. Yeah, that is true. Although you don't want to be disrespectful in that way, but, um, yeah, I do, I do wonder if, um, yeah, I want, I mean, he's not a man who seems super in tune to subtle sarcasm. So I doubt part of him was kind of like, is this guy making fun of Mr. Unlimited? But I think you wouldn't have to be super sharp to think that this rando might be bringing up Mr. Unlimited in a somewhat, in a somewhat, uh, undermining way.

I will tell you that the look on his face and in his eyes in that very, very brief moment was completely accepting the universe that I love the character, Mr. Unlimited, and I'm very sad that he's been missing. I mean, I think that's just being Russell Wilson. I think very few people are coming up to you to slyly roast an internet character you did two times.

Actually, how long ago was that? That was years ago now, too. Yeah.

so like I I don't think he I don't think he picked up on any of the of the nuance which is just fine because again a incredibly sweet person and very friendly to everyone and as you might imagine unfailingly positive so then uh everyone when they're done with the photos so Becca and I went and sat out on um this rooftop because it was so beautiful I mean it literally was like almost it was too hot for me to sit in the sun it was probably 85 yesterday yeah um but that makes speck of very very happy we we realized that she's basically like wally like she has solar panels and if they don't get enough sun then she you know she cannot power herself uh she's basically like an amphibian i guess you know she needs to be warmed up by the sun so we're sitting out on the uh roof deck and and having a drink and just kind of um relaxing and what i realized was there was then a long q a with russell wilson that was back inside the restaurant and the funny part is i don't think i mean it was i walked back through at the very end of it but it was like i don't want to say that there was no one in there because i mean there was plenty of people there but people definitely once they got their photo were there was a substantial contingent of the event of people that just wanted to be out on the balcony yeah and i thought it was kind of funny because it's like i've done many a q a uh at different places often where i'm like the questioner and it's always hard to get people to really pay attention to what you're doing or if there's drinks and food or to you know it's a gala or something and people are just like socializing it's really hard to get them to give a shit about the Q&A and I felt very relieved to see that even Russell Wilson can't get a lot of people to care about the Q&A

Now, that really surprises me for this reason very specifically. Like, and again, aside from you spoofing a little bit and trying to get him to say Mr. Unlimited and secretly recording him. Violating various state and federal wiretap laws. Exactly. So, I mean, honestly, we're the ones. I say we because I sort of pushed you to do this. But we're the most irresponsible people in this whole scenario. And, you know, I don't want I don't want people to be, you know, disrespectful to other people in situations like this. Generally speaking, I kind of hate prank culture, et cetera. But the Q&A to be doing a meet and greet now, not in Seattle. Right. This is in Portland, but still in Seahawks land where you'd imagine that you have a lot of Seahawks fans. Russell Wilson as who in a huge I mean in a surprising move for a lot of people up and leaving Seattle the team that he you know kind of came of age in the sport with to go to Denver like the press can only get so much out of him and you just think that the audience would actually have some interesting questions for him in this case like they're like this is my opportunity to actually ask this guy some questions about leaving Seattle you know I think you're right

I think I missed an opportunity to ask him. I mean, the funny part is you and I went to Denver and the joke was part of it was to try to convince Russell Wilson to come back. I actually would have had a chance in that room if I would have cared to to ask him some kind of real quasi journalistic question or just begged him to come back to Seattle. Yeah, funny. I guess I could have kept the spoof going, but I did not. I didn't also didn't realize that there was going to be this interview on stage and then Q&A with the audience because, again, I was just sitting out on the balcony. And I'll also mention that it was like, again, I keep saying military precision. It was like they announced Russell Wilson. He goes on stage. He says his five minutes of comments. He takes the pictures. He goes to the Q&A. And then like this was supposed to end at six. And at 559, Becca and I are leaving and I'm walking down the hall to the elevator and just somebody brushes past me and it's Russell Wilson just scurrying out of there as fast as possible and his security. and it was like they were you know it was he was not going to be there at 601 yeah he was not going to be there at 6 p.m and 30 seconds he was gone well clock management it's important for a quarterback yeah sure um that's why Pete Carroll often will call timeout during the Q&A he'll do it in the first half of the Q&A and he'll just burn through all his timeouts so then he can't throw to the middle of the field at the end of his Q&A which really

hamstrings you as a team how did becca's interaction go what was that experience like

well you know it's funny because i was so wrapped up in getting i i was having i had her go first and i was so wrapped up in my own like trying to do this video and then getting shot down on the phone thing all i noted was that they had a very pleasant conversation and he after the photo was taken kind of like continued to like chat for a second or two with her like it was almost like he was going above and beyond because the photo had been the photo had been taken and so he could have just been like all right next but he was chatting again the guy was very very friendly oh and then when he was leaving and he brushed past me in the hallway now i'm two martinis and a glass of um pinot gris in and i said great job out there and said hey thanks man go hawks oh wait and then he went to the elevator and then i was i was tempted to see if we could just get in the elevator with him and his security guy it's also it's interesting when russell wilson has a security guy because russell his security guy was pretty big but russell wilson was sure russell wilson was definitely stronger than his security guy yeah like unquestionably that's a really good point

i wonder what the funniest i wonder what the funniest matchup is for somebody to have a like just john cena have a security detail like he must well does dwayne the rock johnson

have security and what is his security the guy who played the mountain on game of thrones and who do you get that's bigger than the rock yeah so um anyway so that was how that all went down it was a really fun thing to get to do and and like i was saying this to becca and i kind of said this here on the show but it was like as much as i like to also try to be cooler than everything and and and you know whatever kind of have this irony about a lot of stuff i really was like kind of geeked out looking at russell wilson and being like holy shit there he is yep and again just because of the things that he has been uh part of uh for me that have just been such massive sports

moments in my life so yeah yeah i get that sometimes i get that even just like you know about bernie kosar about bernie kosar when i see he's done another commercial for cleveland heating and cooling no like sometimes even for as much as i talk about like i don't have a

lot of interest in meeting famous people because i'm not gonna nothing is gonna come of that and it just seems like an awkward thing that they'll forget immediately and i'll just say something stupid like maybe that's part of it too but like i will say there are moments especially depending on where my seats are if i'm going to a baseball game or something and let's say i'm close even to the outfield you're like that's mitch hanniger right there like i can yell something in mitch hanniger well we'll hear it well okay that would involve me if i'm in a rehab sometimes i'm in a

rehab facility if you're at a sports medicine clinic in issaquah you might see them wheel him in like johnny knoxville playing the grandpa on jackass forever okay bad example i'm sorry i have a lot of i have a lot of weird displaced mitch hanniger anger that comes out in that text chain far too often but yeah like i know what you mean though i mean it is it's it's kind of cool to see somebody like that up close and and and for all of our and you and i are very similar on this like if not for the bit of the show i probably wouldn't have even gone to this because of the feeling like Well there's nothing I'm going to say to Russell Wilson that's going to meaningfully affect his existence Or I don't know we're not going to become friends Like you know like so what's the point of it all But I was glad I got to meet him actually And he was a sweet guy I'll be curious to see how the picture looks too

Yeah I'm also not to belabor this But again what you would have said or what what you were sort of thinking is like you are you're responsible for some of my happiest like sports moments. I just think here's the deal. If you're meeting a musician and you say, hey, listen, you got me through some tough times. And I don't want to I don't want to belittle this experience for those who have met their musical heroes and it's meant a lot to them. But like that, that doesn't seem like something that I would be interested in doing, because, again, if you're somebody who is in the arts of any kind, especially the poetic arts and you are have achieved any kind of fame you're going to have fans who are going to say you've got me through this or you've your your music does this it's probably a fairly regular piece of feedback exactly an emotional like an emotional connection whereas maybe the reason that sounds so sweet to me in this case is i don't know that a lot of people are going up to sports stars and maybe at this point in their career and talking about the emotional connection maybe a retired baseball player and you can talk about see watching him play as a kid or something like this but what your sentiment right there i wonder if that would have meant something to russell wilson i mean again not that he would remember it or that he'd be thinking about it right now but like in that moment to actually say like to to make that connection between some some of the happiest moments that you've had with friends screaming uh during you know sports moments like i don't know that's really sweet think about that for

next time okay next time i see him as you know when i go to the next super bowl and denver's winning and he's being carried off the field i'll yell at him you made some of my favorite sports

memories let's hope he makes another favorite sports memory for us on monday night football on the first week of the season when him and his team go go down in flames against the seahawks

helmed by tbd all right uh we should take a break because i have to go get some ice and some balsamic vinegar and some bubble water i guess you don't have yeah i'm gonna go get some mint gum well this is i am i completely misunderstood your text yesterday i actually at the russell wilson thing thought oh you know what we can because i'm back home at my real house etc i was like we can we can actually drink the this healthy quote-unquote healthy coke uh live on air and i texted you that and you said something like you're really looking forward to me trying it and i took that to mean you had already tried it like maybe you and vives did it for i don't know fun or something come to find out you're conscientiously abstaining objective i am i'm standing strong

i'm standing you're dodging this draft i certainly am what you're mr some limited what is i'm mr very very limited i do you want to talk about it now or do you want to talk about after the break

All right. Fine. Let's take a break. I'm going to get my stuff. Fine. Fine. And then we'll do this taste test of healthy, supposedly healthy Coke in a moment here on TBTL. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right, our top story, the healthy Coke trend that is sweeping the nation of TikTok and Instagram. By the way, if you just heard a noise in the background, it's because, Andrew, I've got the cat skateboarding now.

Okay, you're back in Portland, of course.

I'm back in Portland, and I was riding on my little skateboard in my hallway, and the cat was quite curious. So then I started skateboarding while carrying the cat. And then I put the cat on the skateboard and rolled her down the hall. And I'm not going to tell you that's not adorable.

Yeah, sounds great. And now she's just out there kind of she's not at the point where she can get on the skateboard and push herself, but she's messing with it. So you might hear some noise. But I I smell my next viral thirst trap of the cat on the skateboard. But anyway, healthy Coke is well, this person named Amanda Jones. I'm crediting her. I don't know. But my sense is she might have been the first person to put this on TikTok. This is a little bit of what that sounded like.

Okay, my Pilates instructor makes this drink almost, like, every day, I think she told me, and it's a healthy alternative to a Coke, and I am not joking you. It tastes just like a Coke, and you're going to think I'm insane. So, do, like, a splash of balsamic vinegar with ice in a cup, and then take any sparkling beverage, like, I'm picking LaCroix, and it could be any flavor. This one's the guava. It's like the summer flavor. Okay, and now you're going to mix it together. See, it honestly already looks like a Coke, but I swear to God, it tastes like a Coke, and it's healthy, and it's good for you. You guys should go try it out.

So there you go. That's the video that's got everybody trying this at home. Now, as we mentioned before the break, I guess I'm I guess I have to just go solo on this one because you are your I didn't know vinegar was on your list of things that you don't consume.

Well, it's not that I won't consume it, but it does make me it does make me gag a little bit. And I think, well, I mean, I mean, well, here's the deal, like she's even saying balsamic. So I don't want to be caught in a lie here if I'm ever dining with you and I get a little house salad. there is a chance that I will use a little bit of balsamic dressing vinegar red if they if that's all they have. That's fine. But like that's kind of the extent of it, aside from, you know, using it in recipes and marinades and what have you. And I think the reason the smell of vinegar makes me gag is probably because my mom used it mostly as a cleaning agent to clean the windows in our house growing up. And this is this is something I didn't realize I didn't like until I was an adult and I'm sort of like kind of deconstructing it now. But I there would be like maybe once every few months, my mom would do like a deep clean on her windows in this in this one front room we had where she kept all of her plants and everything. I think it was kind of her happy place. But she would like, you know, fill these buckets up with like steaming hot water and and I'm assuming white vinegar and that smell would fill the house. And I don't remember being turned off by it as a kid it was just like a smell of childhood i guess but then as an adult i realized like i had to use white vinegar as part of my uh cast iron skillet reclamation project at one point i had to kind of dunk it in vinegar and it really made me gag so when i when i heard about this healthy coke thing i was reading about it yesterday you sent me the link i hadn't heard about it before that i honestly thought this is something where the world is pranking the world if that make sense this is like the type of thing where you convince somebody to try this and then it's like oh what did you used to say you've been capped what did you say when you were a kid if

somebody would well yeah that was less pranky and more like if you made fun of someone okay tapping on people but then we would say roast and burn and then we would stroke our chins like we

had a wise old beard right so i guess that's wrong here but i thought it'd be like psych like i honestly thought this is one of those things where somebody is doing something online it's catching on and everybody who's tried it knows it's a prank and those who haven't are just

victims in waiting see i thought because you don't like cheesy things i assumed that vinegar is such a different profile like flavor profile and stuff that i just assumed that it would be totally fine with you um i just didn't realize that it's a field there's a really you really have range in terms of the foods that you have a negative reaction yeah yeah and again it's not that i

won't ever cook or or have have you know vinegar in some sort of a recipe but like for the most part like the idea and again listening to it again now she says just a splash and also she's using like real LaCroix with a flavor on top of it like I don't have any of that I mean I guess I could have picked some up yesterday but I was also just sort of picturing like going to the soda stream and like making some plain homemade soda and putting that on ice just with vinegar like it It literally makes my stomach turn to think about that.

Wow. Okay. Well, this is somebody who goes by the name Pepperoni Muffin on TikTok who also tried this. And she – this is – Amanda Jones is kind of the pro. This tastes just like Coca-Cola. The Pepperoni Muffin thinks it tastes less like Coca-Cola.

Okay. I have been seeing far too many videos on my For You page of people mixing balsamic vinegar and carbonated water to create, like, a healthy Coke. I don't trust –

this at all i don't believe that it's going to work however i do drink coca-cola like every single day it's my toxic trait and so what would you say your toxic trait is oh my i don't try

foods my friends want me to try i'm closed-minded as i wrote on twitter today i think my toxic trait would probably be kidnapping people and putting them in a hole in my basement and getting mad at them for not pushing putting the lotion in the basket that is toxic yeah yeah that's pretty

toxic i'm a perfect candidate to be trying this out there's not even an exact recipe for this and so i'm just gonna pour a little bit of balsamic i feel like unhealthy things just stay unhealthy and healthy things can just get away from me well i mean i like salad i don't like i don't like healthy alternatives to unhealthy things because i feel like it's always disappointing

anyway this person i think makes a lot of points actually yeah i actually i don't disagree with pepperoni muffin yeah from tiktok and by the way luke if you ever wanted to do a taste test of a pepperoni muffin that actually sounds kind of good to me if that's a thing so uh but we you have

to dunk it in cottage cheese oh i probably need a straw to mix this okay so apparently you can just use any carbonated beverage i'm using this sparkling ice i've never drank this in my entire life so if this is gross well i didn't know oh it doesn't look like coke everyone else's look like coke i'm gonna add more vinegar all right i went and got straw so i could mix this okay it kind of smells like coke but it kind of it smells like diet coke which that's weird but maybe because this smells like diet coke i don't know anyway that's terrible it's actually not terrible hear me out well okay wait let me try this plain it doesn't taste like coke but it just It tastes kind of good, but I think it might be this.

Now she's drinking bubble water. No, this tastes bad. Bubble water.

This tastes better than this.

So it was some bubble water she had never tried before. Right.

No, it tastes bad. It tastes like bubbly salad dressing.

So, Andrew, because I am unlimited in the kind of entertaining content that I'm willing to provide to the listeners of this show, I now have – I'm also trying to get the mic down where I'm going to be doing this. So let me move my computer a little bit Let me reposition the microphone Apologies for this sound Okay, so now I'm down at the kind of desk level Can you hear me okay? Yeah, yeah Okay, I've got my thing of ice This is going to be a real standout show for the ASMR heads of the world I will say already, your ice sounds so Like their, the ice on both of those videos Like I like the sound of ice being stirred But theirs was very loud and clanky But you have that expensive Pebble ice, baby Pebble ice, and it already sounds better, yeah Okay, so here we go. I'm opening. I'm going with a Polar Cranberry Lime Seltzer will be my bubble base. See, that sounds good. I'll drink one of those. And then I'm going to opening the balsamic. It is Whole Foods 365 Store Brand Balsamic Vinegar. Oh, that means it's organic, right? Product of Italy. 6% acidity is what this bottle is telling me. So here we go. I'm going to just pour some into the glass. Ooh, I think I might have poured too much. I think I poured way too much. It's much like when I make an actual drink, Andrew. Uh-oh. It's just like I would say that, well, you know, there's a lot of ice in the glass. So I don't – it definitely smells like balsamic. Now I'm going to add the soda water. Okay. I will say it looks visually It looks like Coca-Cola I'm stirring it I'm going to take a picture of this Okay Andrew So that you can Maybe this could be the show pic today Yeah please Here we go Also I just want you to kind of see I'm actually going to send you this picture right now Because tell me like Tell me this doesn't look like Coca-Cola I'm going to just text it to you I'll email it to you later. You're going to text it to me now, though? Yeah, I'll text you for your show pick purposes. But I just sent you the picture of what we're kind of working with now. So it certainly looks the part, and I'm going to smell it. You know, it does smell – it doesn't smell like balsamic vinegar, if that makes any sense. It doesn't smell the way you would think it would smell. It has a certain sweetness to it that is a little bit reminiscent of some kind of a carbonated beverage that you might drink on a summer day. So, okay. Okay, so you're making this in, like, I was picturing it in, like, a taller glass, but you're making this in, like... I only own two pint glasses, and they're both in the dishwasher. Okay, gotcha. So I'm using, like, a crystal, like, a scotch glass or something, like, you know, you'd have...

like your um your evening whatever you know whiskey and or something um so i guess here we go i'm just going to uh let me see do i have my sound effect i'm gonna take a take a sip of this and all right here we go it's not bad really it doesn't taste like my theory that this is everybody be like oh you tried it psych that's not what's going on here people actually are enjoying this it's it's bubbles get off the fax machine yes i have a fax machine yeah right how else would you do your business thank you i'm a businessman um it's it's interesting because like like it doesn't taste like a coca-cola so that it fails miserably on that test It's not an unpleasant sensation I probably wouldn't go out of my way to make it Just because Why would you The other thing that's kind of interesting about this is I'm sure that this is better for me than a Coca-Cola Just because of all of the artificial stuff In a Coca-Cola But the jury appears to be out on if drinking balsamic vinegar Really has any health benefits Oh yeah right See for me I just thought this was like Yeah that's right They were kind of claiming there are health benefits To actually drinking this as opposed to just the not the health deficits of drinking too much coke yeah exactly like if it really tasted like coca-cola and you could use it as a substitute you'd be better off drinking a glass of this stuff than a glass coca-cola just because of all the artificial ingredients but as i'm sitting here sipping this it's it's not an unpleasant experience it doesn't taste bad but it's but it doesn't taste like coca-cola i'm a little disappointed okay but it doesn't tastes bad though i mean what does it taste like does it taste like vinegar though does it taste like bubbly salad dressing no it tastes hold let me take another sip here now and again you have you said lime strawberry um cranberry lime oh yeah is the polar yeah yeah let me see here it's it's kind of tart kind of tastes like um oh okay so the end of it so i just got a big sip and i was kind of doing like a taste like maybe a wine taste and you know like the finish the finish i got was very balsamic yeah and you might have also added too much as you said it's possible yeah you know what i might need to do it i'm not gonna do it again right now but maybe i if i were to do it again with a little bit less because the first sip when it first hits your tongue it doesn't taste super vinegary but then the finish is just straight up balsamic but in the point of this though is you you are somebody who loves coke and of course you i think went on a diet coke thing for a while before coke zero maybe i'm wrong about that yes no no you're very obsessed with coke zero and the zero sugar

options out there which i think is still your move right given oh yeah the opportunity i've got a six pack of coke zero in the fridge right now i love coke zero but there's no chance that At some point, you'll be craving a Coke, and you'll go for this instead. No, because it doesn't taste. That's the thing. I don't know what's going on with the person who posted the initial video saying it tastes like Coca-Cola. I don't know if she has some kind of a taste bud situation or if it's just the power of suggestion. But I don't think anybody who drinks this would think it tastes like Coca-Cola. Yeah. I mean, this is one of those things where if I went to somebody's house and they handed me a – maybe they didn't even say it was Coca-Cola. of they just said hey here's a drink that i think you'll like maybe i would sip it and i wouldn't even taste the vinegar because i wouldn't realize it's vinegar and it may be fine with it but like i just kept on picturing the moment that i was pouring vinegar into ice knowing i was going to drink it and it was honestly triggering a gag reflex for me like so i'm actually i am kind of surprised that it's that it's not worse it's not terrible if you come over to my house and i offer you a drink and i'm also washing my windows with the drink that i'm offering you i think you'll know something's up no i can never drink anything at your house ever again obviously i trust you not how about how about like pranking pranking and andrew here i go once again with the email

every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female

all right email or v-mail before we get out of here how loud were those sirens going by pretty loud actually i thought it was here for a second i was like what yeah i realized oh that must be your house sorry about that everybody if you're driving that is not uh that is not a problem for you that's a problem for me it's not um we have a lot of emergency vehicles that drive past our house but for the most part we've been very lucky that they haven't been super um super loud i think it hasn't been an issue here because that's always something right you buy a house and you're a podcast you're like oh guess what uh or you buy a house and then they build a stadium next to it yeah

just flaunting every zoning law known to man they just build a stadium right in your neighborhood you're not ready to rock isn't that the line from the commercial um okay so how about this i'm going back and forth between these let's go to our pal maggie in pennsylvania i can't remember what you were talking about luke it was regarding kind of bad jobs you were in some scenario maybe maggie will set this up for us where you were talking to somebody maybe somebody who's giving you a ride somewhere in the lift and they were talking about their other job uh maybe in finance which sounded a little soul crushing to you or something i don't know if this rings any bells but that got

maggie reminiscing it was when i was in chicago the guy who picked me up in the lift was actually a branch manager of a bank okay and what he said to me that that i thought was interesting was how the way that they make their money the a bank branch would make their money is really is getting people to sign up for new loans or services or, you know, store their money in this sort of a thing. And then also creating what's called stickiness, which is direct deposits and things like that to where you've put a lot of numbers in and now you're kind of enmeshed with the bank. And I will tell you, sorry, I have a little polar, I have a little balsamic vinegar, healthy Coke coming back on me. This person must be the worst. I'm not even really burping. I'm just almost like hiccuping or something. But every time I go into the bank now and they're trying to talk me into some new product, I totally think of that conversation with that guy.

Well, that led Maggie to think about an early job experience she had, which turned her off of the banking industry.

Hi, guys. It's Maggie from Swarthmore. And Luke, you were talking about your driver who was also a bank manager and the whole thing about stickies and reporting and having to have reaching these goals by the end of every month. And it brought back such a wave of whatever the negative of nostalgia is, because one summer I had the worst summer college job. I was a temporary receptionist at a Merrill Lynch branch, and I was nobody. Like, I was a temp, and I was sitting at the desk. I wasn't even like a secretary. I was just greeting people at the front desk, and I had these various little tasks I was supposed to do. Well, one of my tasks was at the end of every week, I had to print out on dot matrix paper with the little edges that you rip off. This is the late 80s. I had to print off for each of the reps their reports for the week on how close they got to their goals. And I had to give them to each of them at the end of every week. I'm nobody. I'm a 19-year-old temp. but this was part of my job and they lived and died by these numbers if they had too many in a row that didn't go in the right direction they were in danger of losing their job and if they had too many if they had lots in a row that were going great they got to go to the to the boss's office and with his little toy putting green in the side of his giant corner office do a putting contest with him i mean the whole thing was just how bizarre yeah it's almost like the reward is worse than the punishment i wanted to live in so i guess you get to sit on his lap

right yeah you i mean yeah it's like you get to play golf with him and that's something that his kids got him at the last minute on father's day seven years earlier i mean the whole thing was

just not the world that i wanted to live in so i guess it was good that i had a little temp route that showed me that but that was also the place where i overheard two of the reps saying to each other the greatest thing about this new product i think some new investment package or something they said the greatest thing about this new product is the customer really thinks they're getting a good deal it gave me such a bad feeling and there's a reason why i don't work in that

world anyway love the show glad you guys are doing well maggie by the way who identifies her job and other voicemails and emails is now a um a chaplain at a hospital so went a very different direction i would say that that job really imprinted on maggie sure did boy some strong glengarry vibes off of that conversation yeah yeah oh you won you get to go have a putting contest with the boss god that sounds so 80s that's also american psycho i was gonna say that's very american

psycho i am also i i'm giving a thumbs down to whoever that was not an accident that somebody tasked maggie yeah the young the 19 year old kind of temporary front desk person with delivering this news i mean it's like because although it's ironic that maggie is now

chaplain at a hospital yeah delivering very working in the probably not space yeah not delivering news but yeah helping but working in the grief space apparently is something that maggie is still uh dealing with and and part of but like that was not cool to make the 19 year old take these numbers to the people and that was also not an accident that was somebody did not want to somebody did not want to have to deliver the bad news and so they basically made maggie do it which

is not cool yeah not cool at all at the beginning i've decided i've made a decision here okay at the beginning of the you are going to drink the balsamic i am not going you know save that one that you made for me i'll drink the rest of it the next time i'm in portland don't dump it out i'll be there probably in the next few months to see a pickle i was explaining to becca the other

day about how why i think you have good boundaries because and i i likened it to i said well you know if if somebody said hey you know what we want to do for the show we're going to jump in a shark tank i would just say no i wouldn't have a hard time with that boundary because it's so it's so terrifying to me that it's not like oh maybe i can find a way to do it it'd be like no i'm just a hard no like boundaries can be very firm if it's just a non-starter if it's just if the idea of it is so repellent you can just be like no and i think that there are some things like scared of everything no not everything that's not true but but but the things that you don't like or that sound unappealing to you they sound so unappealing to you that it's not even it strikes me that you don't even it's not like you're like oh how am I gonna tell my friend Luke I don't want to do it you're just like I'm not doing that and it's just because it's like I wouldn't have a hard time telling someone I'm not jumping into a tank with a bunch of sharks yeah well I gotta say I tried to

entertain it in my you actually texted me while I was grocery shopping for I don't know why you need to know that but that's where that's today I just I like to imagine where you are I was I was wandering around Fred Meyer, still trying to get the lay of the land there. That's my new grocery store. And it's just it's it's taken me longer to, you know, get to know the ins and outs of Fred Meyer more than any other grocery store I've ever used regularly because it's so big and I'm used to my smaller stores. But, you know, so anyway, I'm wandering around. I'm probably looking for the cream cheese, which is another thing I don't eat. And it seemed like it should have been by the I can't believe it's not butter, but it wasn't. It was in the other aisle. Now it's too much information, but I'm getting your text message, and I'm just kind of like, yeah, I did fire that back, I think, almost immediately, and I did wonder if you knew what I was talking about because I think I said, I look forward to you trying that, but I didn't emphasize the you, and I wasn't sure if you picked up on what I was laying down there, and it sounds like you kind of didn't, but I didn't.

Again, I 100% I just assumed you'd already done it like you had been so intrigued that you couldn't that you couldn't contain yourself and that you'd already done it and that you were excited for me to taste it because it tasted exactly like Coca-Cola. That was seriously what my brain told me was happening.

No, turns out I could contain myself. And I did, though, after I sent it, I'm like, oh, maybe I should have thought about that more. Let me think. But then I just kept on picturing myself pouring like getting a whiff of vinegar as I'm pouring into a glass, knowing I'm going to drink it. Like, that was the thing that was hard for me to get over. And then, honestly, I was like, you know what? If we spend half the episode, and I mean, you've taken this with good spirit, but I was like, even if it kind of ticks you off, then I'm not going to go down this road with you. Like, that's still funny. I'm like, that's still, like, that's fine. We can talk about that for a half hour. What a loser I am. I'm totally comfortable in that space. I get to be the cool guy.

Yeah, exactly. I'm into the narrative where I get to be the adventurous one.

Exactly. The only thing I guess I ever did was when we had that listener at the, I'm going to say New York show, at the Brooklyn show. The listener gave us, are they grasshoppers? Grasshoppers, right? Something like that. They were like some kind of insect. Yeah, and I did eat one of those quickly. But again, and again, if you didn't tell me what it was, I probably wouldn't have overthought it. It's just like you're chomping on it and you're thinking about it. But here's what I'm going to do. I was a little flustered at the beginning of this segment because I was going to go back and re-listen to this voicemail before airing it. But let's just do it here. This is a listener who I believe remains anonymous. I know who this person is because they're in our system, and I saw the caller ID, but I'm not going to identify them. It's an embarrassing situation they're in. I do feel that there is a chance, and this is why I was holding off. There's a chance that this person might have been, I'm guessing, tired and emotional when leaving this voicemail about an embarrassing moment in their life. And I don't want to hang them out to dry in case they have any voicemail regrets. But I will clarify something. It begins, this voicemail begins sounding like this person is talking about something that just happened a few weeks ago. But this is actually something that happened a few months ago. But they're sort of setting the scene of this date that they went on. So take it from here, Anonymous.

Hi, I don't know why I'm sharing this, but my current person I'm trying to...

to turn into 211. He and I went on a lovely third date in which we went to lunch and then went for a hike through a state park. I should have probably made sure that there were more bathrooms in the state park before our hike and I did not and for what it's worth we're still seeing each other and it's been about three months even though I had to stop everything and tell him that even though I just met you I'm I'm bringing you to my house because I need to do some cleanup work in the bathroom because I did not have a toilet near me. And that's the closest I'm going to get for describing them on how I shut my pants on a third date with this dude. Love you all so much. Thank you. Bye-bye.

so bathroom situation there yeah should i cut i am should i just cut that out no no sure i mean

i think it's listen i think it's very humanizing um for for all of us who've had accidents before to know that other people have accidents and also if the person left it on a voicemail line i think that they i mean don't we isn't doesn't the outgoing message even say something like we

might play this on the radio show or yeah and i could be wrong about this but i just get the impression that maybe this person might have had a couple of drinks before leaving this voicemail so then i'm like is it my responsibility to maybe sometime consent yeah and someone give consent

to play their voicemail if they are inebriated i don't know i i think it's i think it's uh fine and what i also i'm kind of glad you played it because i would like this listener you don't have to leave as a voicemail and you can remain anonymous but i would like to know if there

was a fourth date yes well it sounds like and that's why that's why i think that this was told in a in a somewhat circuitous way um hey look did i say circuitous right yes you did it's an andrew w wednesday i'll cut that out too um i think what this person is saying is this person they've been dating for several months now oh this all happened on the third date that's why i tried to kind of clarify that at the beginning because i was a little confused the first time i heard it too but it sounds like they're still dating a few months later still pretty early on but this was the third date situation and and there's there they still seem to be in a strong

situation so that's good see that's great yeah and and you know i am i applaud this person's honesty actually and i like to know i like hearing that the relationship continued because that's a i think that's a good lesson because i would lie through my teeth in that situation i would come up with some cockamamie story about how like i sat on something and it had poop on it like that would ever happen you know and like i would not want to admit to the other person what had just gone down and uh and it probably would be apparent to them i wonder what that ride home was like yes

exactly i i wonder about the ride home i wonder like how far into the hike was this a five mile hike and you were two and a half miles out when it happened and so how did that go really turns the hike turns into a waddle oh it really stresses me out actually to think about all of that stuff because like again we've all been there or close to that or or close enough that we can imagine it right and i think like boy if if this were that i've mentioned to you before a friend of mine who when he was a very young man i think um like probably i think still a teenager he was on an airplane and he was doing um service work right what do you call it what he belonged to a church where he was going around missionary work he was using missionary work thank you i couldn't think of the word and he was on some sort of you haven't even read philippians 4 7 no i have to go back to twitter um but uh anyway he was on an airplane going somewhere to do this work with a bunch of you know kids his age and some advisors i'm sure and he got up to use the restroom in the back of the plane and he's standing there waiting for the person in front of him to you know get out of the restroom so he can use it and he goes to fart a little bit and it turns out it was more than that it was so much more than that and then like there he was and again at that age not that it's good at any age but like there's something about you know specifically feeling like you've always got a spotlight on you when you're um going through those pubescent years and to be standing there on an airplane to feel trapped like your your options in a certain way are more limited in a certain way you might have access to clean clothes depending on where whether or not you checked your bag you know so anyway it is i'm always thinking like what is the worst case scenario what is the best case scenario for a situation like this and hiking on a third date assuming that there's still more hiking to do in a drive back in a shared car that is that's knocking on the door of worst case scenario

i would be tempted to just basically either try to summon a pack of wild coyotes to attack me and spirit me away or leave the person at the park and just say i'll be back

in an hour and i'll be back never i mean that's a very romantic way of saying like you know i'll see you in heaven because i am out of here just that would be yeah what if you turn into a romantic spin like you're halfway through the hike this happens and you say you know what if we're meant to be we'll be together again and then you spear it off into the woods yes very romantic very super dramatic yeah definitely yeah so anyway we'll keep you anonymous anonymous okay but i

I would like, if you want to get back to us, Anonymous, if you hear this, again, it can be an email form. I'm really curious about the drive home, what the response from the date was, like, in the moment. I'm wondering how that all played out, too. So if we could get an update, that would be kind of cool. More details on that.

Okay, so there you go. Those are the voicemails. Love it.

All right, that's going to do it for today's episode. We will be back here tomorrow, though, with more imaginary radio for you. So please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Wednesday. enjoy your healthy coke and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

please please there's no time don't worry about us we'll be all right get out of here can't you see we don't want you anymore why can't you go back where you came from Leave us alone! Go!

Goodbye, my friend. Power out.