Muse

And now it's time for your favorite post-COVID game show. It's my brain okay! With your host, Lisa Sumter.

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the game all of us play every day. Is my brain okay? Whether it was the year in isolation, the two years without any semblance of society, or the virus itself physically shrinking our brains, one thing's for sure, we got stupid. Before we get started, let's meet our contestants. Derek from Queens, what'd you do before COVID? I was a marketing director for IBM. And what do you do now? Mushrooms. I get it. I took a bunch before the show. Jennifer from Indianapolis, tell us a fun fact about yourself. Good, thank you. How are you? Uh-oh. And Victor from New Mexico, how are you feeling today?

Tired for no reason. Terrific. TBTL! All right, hello, good morning, and welcome to a Thursday edition of TBTL. Summer Games are here again. It's the penultimate day of the TBTL Summer Games. My name is Luke Burbank, right over there. My friend, Andrew Walsh.

Good morning. Good morning, Luke. You might recognize the sound of me opening up another pack of specialty baseball cards, all Mariners.

So what this person did was they went through, they opened a bunch of packs of cards in the 90s, and then they just sorted out the Mariners players and then put them all together and put them in what, like a Ziploc bag? What was the container?

No, they're like little trading card bags that you could find any kind of baseball card in or trading card or Pokemon card, you know, but they're, you know, they hold about 25, like I said. And yeah, I think this person is a, I think this person has a collectibles shop somewhere, like a trading card shop, I believe.

I have to say, they ran into the right person with you because I am loving remembering some Mariners with you, but there's no street value to like a Dick Williams card.

No, no, there's no.

Like, you know, and the fact that they had them out and they were charging five bucks, they got the exact right person walking into that garage sale at that time.

And I have the right people in my life because, you know, this is exactly what I want to do. I want to sit down with you. I want to sit down with Durs at some point and have Durs go through them.

I want to come hang out on your deck and have a cold ones, in the words of Strong Bad, and just, like, geek out on these cards. This is fun, but this is not going to be the end of me obsessing over these old-time Mariners with you.

Here's one thing I loved about this guy who sold them to me, too, is he was so – because, like, these are clear packs, right? So you can see the top card in all of them. And one of them has, like, I think it's like a 93 Donruss, you know, like that terrible year for Donruss cards where they're worth nothing. It's like the red border with, like, the black paint splashed on it or whatever. Yes. And it's – I can't even read it. The font on these are so terrible, but it's John Olerud, I want to say. Oh, John Olerud. Okay, but it's in his Blue Jays uniform, and the guy who sold it to me was like, oh, no, I thought I pulled – he was so mad at himself. He's like, I thought I pulled out all of the ones where they're not in their Mariners uniforms. I'm so sorry. I'm like, it's okay. I'll take the Olerud. Anyway, what do you know about him?

John Olerud is an interesting story. Well, John Olerud was, I believe, from Spokane, Washington, And he was a first baseman He played for the Blue Jays for many years He was really good, he was a lefty And he sustained He was hit in the head with a baseball at some point Or he had a condition Where he needed to wear a batting helmet While he was At first base Playing first base in the field So that's what I always knew about him And I believe his dad was a physician

You Really know your shit So first of all, yes, the uniform he's wearing on this card is his Blue Jays uniform. And you're right, the cap he's wearing isn't quite as big as a standard batting helmet, but it's almost like the size of a baseball cap, but it's hardened, and you're right, it is a plastic batting helmet. That was a batting helmet from back in the day.

Oh, really? Is that what they all were like? They're much more engineered now. Now maybe, you know what, that's a good point. Maybe he had a specialized one.

You should take a look at this. This looks very specialized to me.

Yeah, maybe so. I mean, that would make sense. I mean, he's a professional baseball player. They're not going to send him out with a bat. I always just thought of it as a batting helmet. But, yeah, he had to wear more protection while he was playing first base. And I'm trying to remember. There was something else about him that I remembered. Maybe he – why did I say Spokane? Did he grow up in Bellevue, actually? Let's see what the back of the card says. I know he had Northwest connections. Let's see.

He was born in Seattle. He was born in August.

5th 1968 in seattle washington his home is in bellevue washington he's six five 205 pounds bats left throws left and i'm john olorood yeah i'm gonna send you this picture right now yeah a good looking good looking kid uh what do you know about carl best this looks like an older card is this too old i have no idea that doesn't even that rings zero bells for me let's see this carl best was a mariner yeah this looks like this might have been from 90 or actually 87 because it It has his stats from 83 to 86 here, so I'm guessing this card is from 87. Carl played baseball and basketball at Kent Meridian Senior High School. He was named to the All-North Puget Sound League squad in 1977, for whatever that's worth.

So that would have been, yeah, he would have been, like, in the very early days of the Mariners. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, in some of their very first teams. I was still down on the commune in those days So Carl's not on my radar

Let's see here Oh I see, yeah, he was a pitcher So yeah, his ERA really dropped off He had a 195 ERA in 85 But then a 404 in 86 So something happened there Got touched up God, this Donruss era was just such wet shit I'm looking at this Olerud card

They really phoned it in that year

But look at his little helmet, the Olerud helmet

Do you think that's what batting helmets look like? No, I think it's close, but it doesn't have the ear protection, which I think even in those days it would have the ear protection. So I think you're right. I thought of it as a batting helmet, but it's something in between.

I also, by the way, have a John Olerud rookie card here, too, the rookie. So that's probably worth quite a bit of change. You know the card that I had? One, really quickly.

The card that I was always—I still have these cards somewhere in a storage unit in Bellingham. but i was always trying to think okay what is unusual that's what i was going for so like i anything deon sanders anything bo jackson i was like it's unusual that these guys play two sports at the professional level like this uh there was a guy named jim abbott who was a pitcher uh who had um his pitching hand was was typical with five fingers but his other hand he didn't have he had one i think very small finger on that hand he was a one-handed pitcher and he would balance his glove on his hand that didn't have as many fingers and he would pitch the ball and then he would quickly switch the mitt over to his one working hand this dude pitched in the majors a one-handed pitcher pitched in the majors i saved every jim abbott card i could get because i was like when is that gonna happen yeah yeah and i don't think they're worth anything i feel like

the jim abbott card should be worth more what's a jim abbott rookie card worth right now tops jim abbott rookie card should we look that i'm gonna give you another name here um this guy looks tough

uh harold reynolds at second harold reynolds yes harold reynolds he was a he was our second baseman he was a base stealer extraordinaire in fact he had some like some record well he won the stolen base crown i think a couple of seasons um while he was a mariner and he was just like extremely charismatic with the media he ended up running into some trouble i think at espn there was some me too stuff that got him oh booted but it was it was it was pretty murky and i think he's kind of back now in a different capacity but he was always just he was one of my very favorite Mariners I feel like his name was his number was number four is that possible um I can't

you know he's the card shows him at the plate so his um so his number is not on here I can't tell what his number is you have to look at I by the way I'm looking at the 1990 FLIR card for him by

the way but I loved I believe he was also maybe professed to be a man of faith which was a big deal in my childhood a lot of like if there was somebody who i liked as a player and they were a christian it was like steve largent for the seahawks then it was like uh which is where mike kingery comes in he was a kind of um you know sort of utility player played a lot of center field for us but was also i think a christian and like our church group or some youth group i was with we got to go and like sit in the stands of the kingdom like way before the game started like mike kingery

came out and talked to us this is so fun i could just go on let me just throw one more quickie at you and then we got to take a break and now i would usually say nunez except it doesn't have the tilde so edwin nunez uh it says ed it could be nunez n-u-n-e-z it is nunez ed nunez okay cool they don't edwin nunez relief pitcher ah yes he is a relief pitcher what do you know i just know

that he was our closer i believe for a few seasons and i can't i mean these were years we were just so bad and also you know listening to the mariners when i was 11 is so different than like listening and watching them now like i can't remember if edwin nunez was good or not but i think i thought he was amazing because he was a mariner you know what i mean like i didn't have a sense of perspective like now i'm just an angry bitter old man who's like you know studying people's like win above replacement and stuff like but in those days i was just like they're a mariner therefore they can do no wrong in my mind Right. And I love them. And I hear Dave Niehaus say their name a lot. So, you know, whether it's Jim Beattie or probably it was the Bobby Ayala era. He was a relief pitcher we had who was he made Fernando Rodney look reliable. Andrew this guy Bobby Ayala had he he was really good for a season he was a closer and then he just lost it and that was probably the first time when I remember just being like I don't care that this guy's wearing a Mariners jersey he bad yeah I cannot root for him anymore I think I've I've

probably booed for more Mariners closers than I have for all of the other um not not out loud or obnoxiously at a game but like yeah I mean there's something about that position that just makes you I mean, just if if it's any kind of a save situation or a close game and you're like you're just so prepared to be screaming at the closer. By the way, Nunez, you know, he didn't have great numbers, but like an 85 309 ERA with 58 strikeouts. But then the next year, 86, he gets he has a 582 and only 17 strikeouts. So I'm guessing that they stopped using him much in 86. And it looks like I have the 87 card, the 87 tops card.

So this is what the Internet is telling me, that in 1982 and 1983, somehow, he was the youngest player in the American League.

Oh, interesting.

Odd stat. And it's weird that he held on to it for two.

Yes, exactly. Right. Yeah.

Considerably younger than everybody else.

Anyway. All right. We'll leave a baseball card talk there for now. Maybe we'll revisit this tomorrow at the top. I'm just going to call you. We're done recording. Can I just call you? Well, we should. I did realize we should have zoomed on this one. I could have been showing you the cards, but oh, well.

um all right let's do this let's take a quick break and then when we come back we are going to play this mad magazine quiz that bill in kingston aka bill in toronto sent in so we'll do that in a moment here on the tbtl summer games all right let's delve into this mad mad mad mad quiz from bill in toronto now andrew am i i'm sorry if i sound distracted i'm for the last two days i've been watching some wasps build a nest outside of my studio i just realized what they were doing i was like why are those wasps always flying around with like plant material in their mouth and it's like oh duh they're building a wasps nest outside of my apartment window even

if they can't get in that's kind of ugly and nasty i don't remember i think they're doing

on a balcony above my window so as long as it just stays up there okay um we'll leave it but anyway that's that's that's what's going on my field of vision but now i'm refocusing my field division to this quiz so you have the quiz are you going to administer to me i think bill bill

mentioned that there was two parts you're supposed to quiz me and i'm supposed to quiz you and he emailed you something separately but honestly there's too much material here anyway i mean too much too much good stuff bill just you're really tomb kissing this so don't worry about that maybe we can save that for the winter games um and i really appreciate bill putting this together he always puts together really great quizzes for us so here's what he says he says mad magazine has illustrated satires of major motion pictures for 70 years now, beginning with King Kong in 1953. Their parody was called Ping Pong. I mean, just how do they come up with this stuff? In this quiz, I give you the real title, and you have to choose the correct mad satire. So the first part of this is going to be multiple choice. The real title of the movie, and you have to guess what Mad Magazine did with that. But then there is a second section, Luke, where you're going to get the satire title and you have to guess without any hints or options what the real movie is that it's spoofing. It's Mad Magazine. It's not super difficult. All right, let's start.

What, me worry?

Okay, here we go. So this first part, this is multiple choice. What is the real spoof title? So the movie is Jaws. The year is 1976. We were just talking about that yesterday. Jaws, 1976. What was Mad's Parody title Flaws Jawed Or Paws I'm trying Is there any additional information There's no additional information Even after you answer it Can you read those to me again So the movie is Jaws You know that That I can picture Did they call it Flaws Okay Jawed Or Paws I don't know. I'm trying to think of what jawed would even be that's spelled like your jaw,

like J a W apostrophe D is how it's spelled here. Yeah.

For some reason I'm intrigued by jawed, but like, as if maybe it's like they're making fun of somebody who has a kind of large mandible, a large jaw.

My guess is a lot of the stuff in mad magazine does not hold up to, um today's standards i would guess i'm sure so i'm trying to think like because pause would be

it was just a dog right that would be like and maybe it's like cujo or something i just it's so hard to think what they were thinking in 1976 i'm gonna say jawed for some bizarre reason and uh and and hope that there's some explanation there is no explanation but okay you are absolutely correct

it was called jawed i'm actually if you google it i'm actually looking at um some website you know mad magazine must have a lot of collectors and followers so i am sort of looking at a blog that sort of breaks down this one there's some photos of it but i don't know specifically i guess like someone got jawed by the shark i'm guessing you got jawed looking at it too

yeah i i guess so it's yeah people are still i mean it's a shark it's the people from the movie are in the boat, except the boat sinks, and then there's an actually kind of funny drawing of Richard Dreyfuss, but it appears to just be Jaws, but they say Jawed instead.

Yeah, so... Alright, so you win, Bill wins, Mad Magazine... Maybe doesn't win. Alright, Speed, the movie, came out in December 1994. What was the parody that Mad Magazine came up with for Speed? Was it I peed Spleed Or not quite up to speed

First thought, best thought I'm thinking I peed What do you think happens in that parody? I think someone has to pee on a bus Someone's trying to hold it So it's like speed But instead of a bomb Someone is about to pee their pants

Well, I'll tell you what, I'm giving you the bell, even though you're wrong, because I have a feeling that whatever you just came up with was probably better than what they came up with. I like that as an idea. But unfortunately, you are not correct as far as the actual history is concerned. It was not quite up to speed is what they came up with. They're not quite up to speed. That's so wordy. Yeah, it is. Right. It doesn't.

It doesn't. I'm trying to find. Let's see here. Mad Magazine. Not quite up to speed. you know what's really gross about the world we live in if you put that in what do you think you get if you type in mad magazine not quite up to speed well i had already done that while you were

trying to guess and i it looks like the uh the mad magazine issue that it was in was number 332 and the cover was the oj simpson trial is that what you're talking about no i'm just getting all

this weapon stuff extremely durable polymer easy loading high speed mags oh oh because i mistyped Oh, you know why? Because I typed Mag Magazine. Oh, yeah.

If you type in Mag Magazine, you're going to get a different result. That's a whole different thing. Okay, sure, sure. Okay, yeah. So I don't know what not quite up to speed. I mean, it's just them saying, hey, listen, this movie isn't so great, right? I mean, that was what they were doing, and I think it's right there in the title. So unless you want to explore this further.

So I guess what they – I'm just trying to find – I wanted to see if I could find pictures of it. i'm getting the sense that what they generally do it's not like it's not like a parody where it's a totally different universe it's basically the thing that the movie already is but just with

a twist right that's kind of my memory of it too it's just making fun of how bad it is like i remember i think that i had i wasn't really allowed to read mad magazine until i was like probably too old to really find it as as fun and daring but i think maybe when i was like 14 or something like my my parents really thought mad magazine was too dirty for me um and too fresh and so one of my can i just say this i'm gonna tell you a little story about mad magazine and this really plays into who i've become or maybe better yet who i've always been weirdly one of the happiest days of my youth is related to my parents divorce because i hated my parents and i hated seeing them happy no um but you know i grew up in the country i didn't want to grow up in the country. I felt like when I watched TV and movies, I saw people living in the city. I'm like, I want to be like Caroline in the city. I want a drafting board. I want a studio apartment in New York. I hated living out in the country. One little taste of what it was like to maybe be a city kid was the day, again, this was like kind of during my parents' divorce, my dad had to go into downtown Cleveland to meet with his lawyer somewhere.

And so I don't even remember where this was But we went to a little like classic diner Luke, if you can picture it Like, you know, like the little stools that spin around Like just classic, classic diner Me and my dad got there We had lunch together at the counter It might have been the first time I had lunch At like a deli counter like that Or a diner counter like that I think I even remember I had matzo ball soup And then my dad said, okay And I was just old enough at this point to be allowed to read mad magazine it's like once your parents are getting a divorce like you've

been yeah a lot of the rules a lot of rules and regulations kind of melt away because the adults

are dealing with bigger issues so i believe before lunch we stopped at a drugstore and i asked my dad hey can i get this mad magazine i don't remember what issue this was but again i'm like 14 um so this is early to mid 90s and um or i guess very early 90s and uh i said hey can i get this he says yes and then we go and we sit at the diner we have lunch i'm probably flipping through the magazine a little bit and then my dad says okay so I'm going to leave you here like I probably got a coke or something maybe I got a piece of pie I don't remember but then my dad's like you're okay here right just sitting at the counter while I go like have my meeting and it was probably a short meeting my parents were very overprotective people growing up in the country I was not given very much freedom and it's because they loved us and wanted to protect me but the idea of being 14 years old in a downtown diner with my mad magazine sitting at the counter while my dad went to have a meeting with a lawyer i was like that is such a formative moment in my life and like maybe that's the jet dragon i'm always chasing you know like during the right i kept saying like i just miss sitting at counters and at bars and it's not just the rampant alcoholism it's just like it's like i just love the i just love that vibe right and i just remember like finally being allowed to read a mad magazine at a counter at a diner in downtown cleveland

I mean those kinds of things imprint on you Very strongly I had a Not exactly like that But something that just Still to this day I can remember so vividly And it was when The first Tim Burton Batman came out The one that had Bat Dance on the soundtrack I know you know it well Almost too well And when that came out And then Bat Dance was also the number one Song on the radio it was just flooding my zone with like i desperately wanted to see the movie and i loved the song and i just was obsessed with anything batman it's kind of funny that i didn't grow up to be more of a like you know superhero movie dc mcu kind of guy because boy when i was that age that that batman movie was life to me right yeah but also i was not allowed to see stuff like that well my parents went out of town for some reason and i forget who was staying with us but we had some babysitter probably some gal from the church and i would have been what year did batman did that batman come out the first one you said 89 yeah is it 89 89 batman yep okay so i would have been i guess 13 i was born in 76 so i'd have been 13 and it was like i had like 10 bucks in my pocket and i took the bus up to northgate uh which had a big movie theater uh near kind of what's now that stanford's whatever that restaurant is but like that used to be a movie theater oh interesting so then i mean place kind of replaced it huh exactly and in fact that's not even accurate because that stanford's is new construction just that end of the mall was a movie theater when i was a kid and like medical offices oddly enough like it was a big movie theater and then these medical offices next to it but anyway by myself i took the bus and i went and I sat in the theater by myself and watched Batman on a summer afternoon, and then I had enough money left over to walk through the mall, and I went to, I want to say probably Le Mans or maybe the Bon Marche, and bought like a Batman necklace. I had enough money left over to buy something that represented my love of Batman, and I would wear, it was like a medallion that just had the bat symbol on it, and I just remember putting that thing around my neck and just like walking back to the bus stop and taking the bus home and just feeling a sense of contentedness that I've never felt in my life yes I mean what

is more 1989 than buying a Batman medallion at Bon Marche like there are pictures of this I wore

this because I used to I would wear this necklace along with a tank top I had that was like the one I think it might have been like genera or code blue or it was like from one of these brands that were like a cool brand i had so i did not have any cool clothing but this was like or any name brand clothing but i had this one like genera tank top or whatever it was that i loved and i would wear it with my batman necklace and it was just like yes it's all happening did was it like

um we should get on with the quiz is it enameled at all or is it just like metal was it two different colors of metal maybe it was probably

Probably two different colors of metal. I mean, it was $5. It had to be cheap.

I'm looking at different versions.

It was basically a shoelace. So it was like a black shoelace that then there was this thin tin medallion that had the bat signal on it. And I purchased it not because it was the thing I liked the most. It was because it was the one that was in my price range. And I was not leaving that mall without something to demonstrate to the wider world that I was, in fact, a fan of the Batman.

Very, very good. Unlike me, who also saw that in the theater and became a huge fan of that movie and a huge fan of Batman in general. But going into that movie, I did not know the deal with Batman, and I excitedly whispered to my dad in the theater, oh, my God. After seeing Bruce Wayne sitting in the Batcave, I said, I think Batman is Bruce Wayne. So I was smart. Here's question number three. Network. The film that came out in 1977, Network. was it uh spoofed as nitwit nut work or nothing works oh god i would say nut work i think nut

work but then again not actually up to speed is so bad that i could see them what was the third one again nothing nothing works yeah like i'm starting to think maybe i should pick like the worst headline maybe you should go with your gut on this one okay i'm gonna go with nothing works Go with your first gut on this one is what I'm saying. Oh, go with my first gut?

Yeah.

And you got mad the other day when I was trying to give you hints. You're right. God damn it.

It's minus five. It's nut work. Indeed. You are so right. Oh, gosh. Oh, my gosh. Mrs. Doubtfire. Was it Mr. This is interesting. Was Mrs. Doubtfire spoofed as Mr. Misfire, Mrs. Double Fired, or Mrs. Doubtful?

Ooh. I wonder if they went with something Now here's the thing And this is where things could get a little complicated And I want to use the right terminology But of course Mrs. Doubtfire is not a movie About You know Like queer culture you mean It's not about queer culture That's the right way to put it No no it's just about a dad It's a ruse who wants to hang out with his So there's not And there's no component of this relating to his identity Outside of he just wants to be near his kids That's my understanding I'm wondering if though because it's Mad Magazine And it was the era if they're trying to do something Where they're calling him Mr. Doubtfire because in fact he is a man And if the comedy was maybe played More along the lines Of things like comedy that we Jokes we wouldn't make now about Somebody who was you know Let's maybe born male but dressing As a female etc even though that's not Even the premise of the movie does that make any sense Yeah, I could see Mr. Doubtfire being like they think they're being hilarious because they're pointing out that it's really a dude.

Now, there isn't a Mr. Doubtfire on this list. There's a Mr. Misfire, a Mrs. Double Fired and a Mrs. Doubtful. And also, I can't totally dismiss the idea that that could be a typo on Bill's part. I'm not sure. But Mr. Misfire, I mean, it is just one letter away. So I'm going to go with Mrs. Double Fired. Mrs. Double Fired is your answer. Yes. And I'm afraid to say that you're wrong. It's Mrs. Doubtful. However. Oh, my God. Mad Magazine. It's so terrible. The next one is better, though. Just the questions. Just the options are better on this one. The Fugitive of 1994. Was it The Stoojitive?

Now, see, that would be great if I would. We're going to do a parody. The Fugitive or The Stoojitive. I guess it would be too hard to pull.

The Fugitive, yeah. Okay, what was it? Okay, so you got The Stoojitive or A Fudge I Give or Inno. In a fugue, I live.

Oh, we don't say that anymore. Or maybe we don't. We haven't decided. We haven't figured it out. Boy, that's a good one. What I started to think was, it would be funny if it was the fugitive, but if it was the stugitive, and just instead of Richard, what's the name of the character, whatever, whoever it is that Harrison Ford is playing, Richard Anderson, the doctor, because he's like, like wrongly accused of his wife's murder, and there's a one-armed man and all that. Tommy Lee Jones is looking for him.

I didn't kill my wife. I don't care.

It would be funny if that whole thing was played, but it was just Moe from the Three Stooges. I think that would be funny, too. But probably what they realized, and Lord knows Mad Magazine has been very successful over the years, or at least was in my childhood, so whatever they were doing was working. They probably had a formula, and it was like to try to do a fugitive parody where instead it's a three stooges like would probably be go over the head of most of the readers like even though this stuff seems kind of cringy to me I would have eaten this stuff up with a spoon when i was you know 13 years old so they probably knew like we're just gonna like do something that's one click off from the thing everyone's aware of and that is going to provide humor for our readers and and it was working so anyway i'm going with uh a fudge i give that is funny

um unfortunately though you were kind of closer before it was the stugitive apparently although i'm seeing something else where it's the fugitive spelled p-h-e-u-gitive but according to bill but that's just me freelancing here according to bill's quiz the answer is indeed the stoogitive now whether or not the three stooges were involved i doubt it but i agree with you that that would be a funnier way of handling these things like add a layer of parody there i'm really obsessed with

trying to find the um you know the other thing too is every time i try to google a mad magazine thing i get a national lampoon and that was really the racier one i mean that was like oh i wouldn't have been allowed to read mad magazine but i extra wouldn't have been allowed

to read the national lampoon that one was the one that was like kind of the even harsher one in my family people were like cracked magazine why don't you give him a playboy nobody actually

said that but that's how i was treated um i'm just looking almost every cover of national lampoon involves um sort of implied nudity in one way or another which was also like i just remember any movie that came out that had national lampoon on it i knew there would be boobs in it and i was not allowed to see those movies but i dreamed of the day when i had my own television and house and i could watch all of the national lampoon's films i wanted so as eating candy for dinner yeah exactly yeah i did buy a bunch of candy the other day what'd you buy like nestle I like those Nestle Crunch white chocolate bars and Kit Kat. I just thought, you know, there are nights when I wouldn't mind having a little bite of a candy bar before I go to bed, and I just never have any candy in the house. By the way, that's probably a good plan. Yeah, exactly. But I decided instead to kind of stock up, and the lady at the 7-Eleven was looking at me like, It was basically like 10-year-old Luke got into my body and was animating my movements and was making adult Luke go to the store and buy all the candy that 9-year-old Luke wanted to eat.

Luke, we have to go. We're over time here, but I want to do like a real, real rapid round here. No time to do it. What I'm going to do, no more multiple choice. We are doing the second part of this quiz. Just five quick questions. I'm going to give you the spoof title. You're going to give me the real movie. It's spoofing. This should be very easy Not to make you look bad if you don't get it But I'm hoping this will be easy The Shiner is the parody What's the real movie The Shining Indeedly do Where's my sound effect I got it Are we off Wait let's tune up Let's tune up Let me hear yours Okay Trading Races 1984 Trading Places They went for it They went there Twitsters 1996 Twister. Twister. It Depends Day, 1996.

Oh, dear God. Oh, dear God. Independence Day.

I'll give you the bell and Mad Magazine the raspberry. And finally, Luke, I don't know if you'll ever get this one, but 1995, Plot Friction.

Oh, wow. I feel like with Pulp Fiction, there's a lot you could do. Plot Friction is a weird place to take it. certain a lot of like that's are they saying that the that that the because i have to say this generally speaking at least of that movie the plot was pretty the plot was pretty engaging it wasn't like it wasn't like the pulp fiction suffered from lack of plot yeah and lack of intersecting plot yeah that's kind of the whole that's sort of the whole charm of that film it's

all plot yeah it moves fast yeah anyway well congratulations luke i think you won thank you

I think everybody wins.

I think I'm going to go buy a National Lampoon now.

Thank you, baby. Thank you to our daily donors. There is a woman who I see on TikTok a lot who has a bird. Now, of course, Andrew, I know, oops, the parrot did not really endear indoor birds. Cockatiel. Did not endear indoor birds to you necessarily. But this is some kind of, I don't know exactly what kind of bird it is, but it's, you know, on the smallish side, it's blue. It's a very beautiful color of blue. It doesn't look like a parrot or a cockatiel. It's, I don't know how to describe it. It looks a little different, but it is so dang cute. and one of its favorite things

to say to the woman is thank you baby can we get a recording of that we need yeah i will well the

problem is i don't it'll come back up on my for you page because i always watch these videos which puts them up and it makes me almost want i'm not going to but it almost makes me want to get one of these birds because the bird is so cute the lady clearly loves the bird and she's always um and i think the bird says are you being a good girl and then thank you baby and then she kisses it on the head or pretends to eat its head and it has these like phrases that it says but this bird saying thank you baby is so freaking cute so i would like to say to our daily donors thank you baby to kathleen manley in seattle washington for supporting tbtl of course these are the people who are supporting our show with a financial donation each month sydney hoffert is in ann arbor michigan hey what up sydney anand rajaraman is in san francisco california thanks anand uh and then Joseph Warren is in the Boogie Down Bronx, New York City. Does that sound convincing when I call it the Boogie Down Bronx?

It just says the Bronx. I mean, let's stick to the script here, please.

Now, here is something. So the next person I want to thank, of course, we know this person. It's who I've always described as Corinne.

Yeah, I guess Ruth Corinne is full name here. So have we been calling Corinne by her middle name? No, I don't think so. I think Corinne goes by Corinne because we've met her before. She leaves voicemails for us. Yeah, she says, I'm taking my hot air balloon out of here.

Exactly. Is that Corinne?

That is Corinne.

And her daughter is the person who made the incredible cookies and cakes. Baked goods, the cookies that looked like jokes from the show. Just amazing work. But I have not known, I didn't know the Ruth component. Yeah. What up, Ruth? That's Ruth Corinne Reese reese in florence alabama indeed we do where it's got to be a just a comfortable probably about 75

no humidity right now yeah just a simple 7500 degrees in florence alabama yep hey and then

look at this the king of ska checking in nick kennedy in tacoma washington nick thanks nick nice to see on the list all these years later nick called in we'd interviewed him once about his job driving a drug van not like an illegal drug van like he would drive prescriptions from the pharmacy to um you know places where people particularly uh you know older people would live you know retirement communities and and homes like that anyway that was oh about 13 years ago here's nick all grows up and uh still supporting the show so thank you lost that job when those drugs started going missing just mysteriously going fell into a dark dark place for a while

but he's back baby no just kidding thank you nick thanks nick thanks to all of our donors of the day

we really couldn't do this without you um all right let's do it all right look at this now i

don't know if we're gonna start with bait i i worry that we maybe had too much fun with the baseball cards at the beginning of the show today i don't want to ostracize folks who aren't into baseball card talk so we'll have to make a decision tomorrow as to whether or not we're

gonna kick it off that way or not oh i mean the good news is if we don't do the baseball cards It's just more for us to talk about next time I'm at your house. That's true.

Exactly. Because we're always out of. That's the problem with you and me. It's just like we so often just have nothing to talk about. We're just going to stare at each other. And it's like, I don't know, man. How do we keep the needles going?

A while ago on the show, we were talking about Chris Mad Dog Russo. And you had these promos that they play that make me crazy on Sirius Satellite. And you were saying, wouldn't it be funny if that was a persona? Like he was just like a super mellow guy who just like turned. the on air light goes on and this whole other thing wouldn't it be funny if you and I absolutely did not like talking to each other and had nothing to talk about and this was just a persona of us chatting it cutting it up like a couple of yentas

if we really didn't have anything to say this would be so much work like how would you gin that up I mean honestly I mean it doesn't happen all the time but like there are honestly times where you and I dial up in the morning to do the show and we will have talked for 45 minutes before we even start checking our levels like that is the truth the most common question i get once someone has

picked their jaw up off the floor to realize that we do five shows a week and they're like an hour plus every day is then the follow-up question always is what do you talk about and i can never give a good answer to that because it's just whatever crapola comes into our mind but you and i are just like so simpatico and have such an easy time talking to each other that it just whatever the show just happens every day but it would be hilarious if we like if like if like i would walk into your studio uh at your house and i'm just like hello andrew hello luke i would sit down and i would start putting my notes together and then like the light goes On and then we're just like chatting it up Just like almost a low level aggression Almost a simmering

Almost a like I'm not wasting my time With this kind of like a version of the like That cartoon that I love so much which was the The I think it was the like sheep dog And the maybe like wolf

Oh that was such high comedy

When I was a kid oh my god I mean that has stuck With that is like a formative Pop culture event for me I don't know if I'm describing that correctly of this Idea that it Was just their job to try to kill each other all day yeah right and invariably the whistle would blow at five o'clock right when one of them had gotten the upper hand and then they would just stop what they were doing get their lunch boxes or whatever and then just leave back to their respective homes i thought that was the most brilliant fucking thing of all time morning carl yep i loved it i loved it too

and i love the fact that people punched in back then i kind of miss the old punch i had i've had

two jobs where i had to punch in and i hated the first one was at craigan's pharmacy and i hated the job it was summertime i was so bored it was so hot up in the attic i'd have to like get the open up these cardboard boxes that had vials in them like not vials but like the thing you would have your prescription pills in sure yeah i'd be constantly going up to this attic to get more like of those bottles or whatever you'd call them containers and i would always just want to leave but if i was going to punch out the the punch thing made such a loud noise yes ours too yeah it was violent i would be trying to do it so quietly so wally the pharmacist wouldn't be like

are you punching out luke oh really so you could conceivably leave on your own but you'd have to punch i think there were times when i if i did like if i forgot to punch in or out i'd have to and this was working for my dad by the way but i would have to write it in i have this visceral memory of like using one of his little black pens to write in the time that I punched in and punched out if I had forgotten or something but then I would have to get like the form into initial it I believe

the last time and this is a tried and true story on the show literally the last time in my life I punched out of a time clock on a job was at storables extra space in about 1997 and the whole issue was the time card machine because what had happened was i had this just kind of retail job that i had gotten at this place storables extra space they're probably still somewhere in the in the very now fancy university village mall but back then it was just this little humble kind of array of one-story buildings and i had been on the phone in the break room before my shift calling probably calling kuow where i was an intern you know trying to set something up or whatever because what i was trying to do was scam my way into the nba playoffs which were happening at the same time and i had already even at age like 22 started to like call up these teams and misrepresent myself as like being a reporter for kuow um and so i think i was trying to check the voicemail to see if the person from like the sonics had called to be back to like put me on the list or whatever point is i was clocked in because i was like i guess i got there and then i and then i'm on the phone and then my supervisor was later went back and realized i had been on the phone at the same time that i had been clocked in which was apparently their vote in there and she was very upset at me and and and kind of read me the riot act the next time i came in and i just was like i just quit on the spot and walked back to the uh you know break room and then punched out like eight minutes into my shift because it was like the next day and she came and found me right as my shift was starting and then I remember I just kind of in a daze walked wandered back up campus up back to the radio so I had nowhere to go now I was supposed to work at storables for eight hours and now I have seven hours and 50 minutes to kill so I wandered back up to the radio station and my friend Kathleen Bowman RIP was hosting like the local you know version of like weekend edition or something because it was on a Saturday And I said I just quit my job And she said do you want to come sling caps with me Which was her nickname for catering And she got me a job With this catering company And that was one of the best jobs I ever had in my life

Sling apps or caps?

Caps like mushroom caps Her joke was that this was a big thing at that time It was a real cool look in the catering world To like take a mushroom cap Like a top of a mushroom And then put some kind of a like Cream cheese dip in it So she always called it slinging caps Any kind of catering work to her Was called slinging caps

You did leave one dazzling detail out of the story I've heard this story before There's a very good dazzling detail Can you remember what you're leaving out? The part where I gave her a quarter Where you gave your boss a quarter And said Here's your quarter for the phone call

I left

the time i left that out because a i was trying to not belabor it b i feel like the listeners have heard the story far too many times but yes i did something very corny and like out of the movie uncle buck where i went back to her and i said i just did the math and based on what i make per hour and how long i was on the phone i think i probably embezzled about 15 cents from storables extra space here's a quarter you can keep the change and the problem was she didn't really want to take the quarter yeah then what do you do yeah this doesn't happen in the movies in the movies the person goes along with it here she was kind of like i don't want a quarter from you right now you're quitting i'm she was in total shock at the entire situation sure never had anybody let alone some 22 year old kid just pull a move like this you know i would absolutely i mean i

say this a lot on the show but more than almost any other story i almost than any other story i I would love to get her on the show and hear her side of the story. Her name was Wendy. Not even get her on the show because maybe it would be weird if you were there. I just want to know how she has told that story. I mean, even if she only told it once that week to a friend, I want to know how she saw that whole thing go down. I'm just like Googling Wendy storables.

It's not working out. I'm not getting anything. Really? That's not the national chain storables, Wendy? God, is there anybody who worked at that storables? I mean, it was in University Village and there has to be somebody. I mean, that would be that would be the ultimate if I could find her. And I don't have any ill will towards her now. In fact, that was unnecessary of me to quit in that fashion. But like I would pay I would pay a thousand dollars to hear her recollection of how that went down.

Man, that's what you need to get. Jonathan Goldstein to dedicate. Yes. Oh, show to that. I know, but you need to make it so low, but you need to make it because you what you have to do is I mean, I like that show, but it's pretty clear that some of them, they kind of gin up the drama a little bit. You have to you have to make it sound like you really need closure on this and you feel terrible and you want to make amends. And then it can be like an emotional journey of kind of like, I know that's the problem is it's not I doesn't it doesn't.

And the listeners of this show would know that if I got on heavyweight doing that, that it would be BS because there's not an emotional component to it. other than I didn't like being hollered at. And I just went out of there. And also, I think I thought there was a chance I could still get to the basketball game.

The basketball game was that night. Oh, I thought you were just working some. Okay.

No, here's actually what had happened. I had to, I was extra pissed because the call had come through. I was going to, I think, be able to go to this NBA game and like sit in the press box. But I couldn't because I had to work at storables. So I had passed on the opportunity So that was also simmering in my brain So like the Friday is when I'm on the phone Embezzling money from I'm committing wage theft From storables And the phone call is in the interest of trying To hook this thing up for Saturday Which then comes through But then I'm also scheduled to work at storables And I can't get out of the shift I can't get anyone to cover my shift So now I walk in the next day on Saturday I'm already pissed Because I'm at storables instead of at Key Arena Watching the Sonics play I think it was the Houston Rockets. And so I was already, like, mad. And then I walk into this, like, lecture from Wendy. And that was when it all just sort of crumbled. I was just like, F this. Like, not only am I not at the Sonics game, I'm getting hollered at. I'm out of here. But I had already passed. There was no way for me to go down to the stadium at that point and get into the game. So that's why I wandered back up to the radio station just to hang out or something.

um i'm looking at i've actually got a 360 uh like interactive uh picture here i'm like inside the storables right now spinning around but the problem is this was taken in 2018 and now it is listed as permanently closed apparently they were it looks like just 15 cents under budget and then finally had to close up in 2018 or 2019 that would be hilarious that's your legacy get

look i know but they got all fancy too it's you know it is interesting though it's in the same physical location or where it was yeah yeah like it but it would but it's in the new very beautiful like crate and barrel a ties yeah you know bougie fied urban oasis that is university village mall

now yeah and i didn't know what it used to look like i i you know what i mean every time it comes

up i know i belabor this point i saw somebody on twitter wrote katie nolan by the way is a great follow on twitter yeah um and she retweeted someone saying boston guys are big parking lot fans they like to tell you what used to be there they like to drive you around and share what used to be there yeah that's me basically with like university village it just It was so nondescript when I was a kid growing up, and it just had this one kind of scuzzy restaurant, The Ram, and it was just kind of pretty beat up, and that restaurant itself. And the transition of that place is almost just feels – I'm so interested in it because it feels like it's sort of an indicator or like a canary in some kind of coal mine about the economic changes that have happened in Seattle. You know what I mean? like it's sort of it sort of represents this very visible example of how seattle is so different now than it was in 1984 yeah in 1984 you could buy a house near university village mall for uh you know eighty thousand dollars a hundred thousand dollars people that had normal jobs could live in this beautiful urban neighborhood with sidewalks and you had a mall that matched that look and and now it's all teslas and glit and glimmering glass yeah and the houses are all 1.8 million dollars you know it's just like it's such a representation of how that city has changed yeah

it's and i feel like that's very um capitol hill as well um you know although although i mean there are some interesting arguments that capitol hill while it is much more moneyed now it is still like one of the more diverse parts of the city it's definitely the one of the densest if not the densest part of the city and actually is living up to a lot of kind of seattle progressive ideals but it is funny to walk around capitol hill a place where i was a carpetbagger moving in there in early 2009 and already having felt like i missed the heyday of it but um now like you know a deck um you know whatever whatever it is over a decade later i go back to my old neighborhood and it just looks like it just looks like if a if a neighborhood could be made of money that's sort of

what Capitol Hill looks like to me yeah it's I mean yeah it's I can't even I have to avoid Redfin now kind of at all costs because I whether it's a house in Portland I can't afford or a house in Seattle I used to own that I can't afford or whatever a house in Bellingham like if I look at real I used to really geek out on you know Vives and I would always bond over our shared love of just basically stalking you know real estate uh listings i now feel a sense of sadness because it's like i'm on the outside looking in and i'm not i'm not woe is me me i've had a lot of privilege in my life and if i would have made certain decisions better i'd uh i would maybe have the resources to buy some of these houses but like it's almost like it's gone from being really fun to like scroll through redfin and kind of think what if to now i'm just like i i on on a certain level I have a small sense of what it would feel like probably to be somebody in Addie's generation who didn't come from generational wealth you know like it's just it it's so out of reach to want to own a house in for most people to own a house in Seattle in a very desirable neighborhood yeah it's just wild now

yeah yeah absolutely and I think about I think about that too and in our place in our place and all of this too since we recently bought a house here and like and how lucky we feel but how cognizant we are about how lucky we are to do this and again We didn't move into a super nice neighborhood and a super nice house. I mean, I love this place. I don't want to downplay the value and the value that I put into where we live now and how happy we are here together. And it suits all of my needs. But it also, again, for us, two working adults, two salaried working adults without any kids to just be able to buy a pretty modest house and a pretty modest neighborhood. It's just like I don't understand how the younger generation, as things continue to separate out, how the younger generation must look at our generation. I mean, there's a lot of I wouldn't lie. I would be lying if I told you that it doesn't sting sometimes when I hear like the younger or when I catch a tweet or whatever. And I hear the younger generations kind of throwing slings and arrows at our generation. Not that I have any kind of generational pride, but, you know, it hurts. You're like, hey, I'm not a bad guy here, but like I I get it. You know, I get it.

yeah i mean the good news is we do have to die at some point yeah no that is true so someone will

live in the houses yeah i mean we're not going to live forever but it's the divide though it's it's the the country isn't moving in the right direction where the middle class is not moving in a direction of growing whole again that's the problem but and that's what i think the summer games are all about that is what the summer games are all about we put in almost a full show

today here and same with yesterday i'll tell you i think you're like 45 though this is good i was going to say to the listeners what we're lacking in quality we are making up for in quantity yeah

these last couple of days i felt like these games have felt like more like regular tbtl so i've been having fun thanks for doing this and we have another one to do everyone yeah yes we do tomorrow

will be the final day and then when monday comes we will be back with typical shows full of our typical story I'm sure I'll have had over 100 fraught interactions that I will want to unpack with Andrew.

How many nails do you have driven into your thigh from a nail gun?

Will I have all of my fingers? Right. And appendages. Tune in. Boy, that's a real cliffhanger for Monday's show. But we have one more summer game tomorrow, which we're going to play, so please do join us for that. Until then, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

See you later, suckers. I'm taking myself on a hot air balloon ride. Power out.