Muse

We must get him out before daybreak. Well, and that's the thing with these nightwalkers here, isn't it? You know, a little bit of sunlight, poof! They go up in flames. I've never gone poof, but it's okay. Not yet. The vampires are always like, Oh, I'm a vampire! I'm immortal! I'm whatever. Well, okay, how about you go be immortal at brunch? TBTL!

Is the length, the shagginess, the anything-can-happen-but-frequently-nothing-does nature of a lot of popular podcasts, is that a bug or a feature?

All right, this guy ran with Thaddeus Sphinx. He was one of the eight balls in Mookie Kramer in the eight ball. I don't know, this doesn't sound like anything. He played the alto sax with the kink in it.

She was a shake dancer. She did the hutchie-kutch. And, uh, uh, right on you. Midnight, cowboy. That's not a thing. All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL. In a case gone cold, could a podcast bring the heat? The show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo?

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where I cannot lie.

I feel happy of myself.

Feeling pretty happy of myself. Off of recent sport developments.

I mean, I figured he had to be in sport, but he wasn't in sport.

Peace and love to all of our listeners tuning in from Denver. Wonderful folks that we were able to hang out with during the most recent TBTelethon. So this might be a show that you want to skip because we here in Seahawk Land are obviously feeling pretty chuffed about things. Here on episode 3769 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. I was very wrong about something on the show yesterday. I made a huge mistake. In terms of what I thought the reception at Lumen Field would be for one Russell Mr. Unlimited. Wilson. So we'll talk about that a little bit. Our goal today, when Andrew and I commence with the program, with TBTL that is, is to basically close the loop on a couple of things that were brought up yesterday regarding this football game last night but not go so far into it as to cannibalize the no point conversion which we will also be recording today so if you like minimally informed sports talk you are in luck my friends because that's also happening um speaking of things adjacent to sport i tried a new workout this morning really i'm trying to build my beef castle and i i think it was kind of a revelation i'm not so sure yet but we'll probably talk about it oh speaking of castle owners former castle owners uh we're gonna talk about nick cage and his weird dracula accent that he's rolling out for the new film renfield um and also wegmans the grocery store uh chain in the uh northeast is getting rid of scan and go technology welcome to food news today this is the thing that also a walmart tried this a few years ago this is where basically you have an app on your phone and you can just scan the barcode on all of the items you want and then you pay for it automatically and then they check your receipt on the way out and the reason that walmart and wegmans have done way with this is because people were robbing them stupid they call it shrinkage in the industry and it was happening a lot so we'll get into that time permitting plus emails and v-mails and this guy the longest running cobro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is andrew jalapeno walsh and he is joining me right now good morning my friend good morning luke i gotta

i'm there's no reason for me to do this but i'm gonna get on my soapbox here for a second not towards you or our listeners be careful be very at our age we shouldn't be getting up on anything rickety that could go out from under us especially me honestly the chair i was just sitting on literally was loose underneath me so i swapped it out because i figured i don't need this chair collapsing underneath me during today's show but um no this is a pet peeve i have and i've brought it up on the show before and it's so not fun it's not a fun way to start the show so my apologies we'll bring the fun later but um boy it really starts in a not fun way but i just saw some breaking news right before the show that the Suns owner what is it? The Phoenix Suns, I believe an NBA team. Is that still a Colangelo? It's a, it was Robert Sarver. Oh they must have sold it. It used to be a guy named Jerry Colangelo. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think if I have this right, because again, this is a breaking news story and I'm just seeing it on Twitter or whatever and somebody I follow, an ESPN personality, retweeted something from the Thank you.

publication front office sports and it's itemizing why uh the nba has taken away robert sarver's right to own the tier to their suspending robert sarver i should say for a season or two because of a bunch of misconduct okay misconduct do i say misconduct funny um and they bullet point in this tweet this is such a big build up for such a small point but here are some of the here are two bullet points i'd like to read to you inappropriate comments about physical appearance of females also inappropriate physical conduct towards men why are we calling men men and women females can we call women women like i and i swear there's something like there's something sports related to this too or bro-y about it like why are we talking about females and men it's one

thing if you're a cop if you're a cop you're going around this up with me before when i've kind of used female interchangeably with women and remind me and i'm not saying you're wrong what is it about the use of female as opposed to woman in that context that feels to you to be um not great

well you can acknowledge that there's definitely a difference here right people are comfortable saying men but for some reason and i don't have an answer for it but maybe i would just turn that back on you why do you think they would choose to say in one bullet point in the same tweet refer to women as females but men as men like well i know that when when i did it on the show and you

kind of brought it up i was trying in my own muddled way to be more quote-unquote appropriate i think because there is a lot of conversation around what who constant who qualifies as a quote-unquote woman and female sounds more clinical and i what i was doing in that particular moment It was trying to not, you know, use a term that was in my mind, it was like female is the more clinical way to describe the thing I'm trying to describe versus women. I'm not I'm also not defending whoever wrote that headline, because I think you're right. It is it is weird to use men and then use female. But I can only speak for myself. I think I was trying to be more precise.

Yeah. You know, I forgot that you. OK, so I don't want to make this personal about you for real. I kind of forgot about that chapter of it. You're one of my least favorite males on this show, Andrew. And I would say that, too. If you go around calling men males and women females, you just do that all the time. You just want it to be consistent. Because you talk like a cop, you know? Like, the male pulled out of his driveway to meet the female for coffee. Like, okay, that's fine. God, what happened on that coffee date that the police are now involved? Well, it was a cop just talking about his family members.

Who we met at a convention.

No, but so don't take this personally because I think you're right there. But as I respond, I don't want you to think that I'm pointing fingers at you.

No, I'm not taking – I promise you. I don't have any residual, like, butt-hertedness about this. I'm just – I'm genuinely just kind of interested in kind of why this strikes you the way it does.

Now that you say that, I'm thinking that maybe that is part of it. And, again, not referring to what you just said here, but maybe there is a certain kind of – I mean, obviously, we should hear from women on this. Like, maybe I'm just – maybe I should just shut up. Maybe I'm wrong. This is just coming from me. But remember for a while, didn't we? Oh, yeah. We had we had I forgot this probably wouldn't we probably wouldn't do this today. But when I would get on my high horse about women's issues, you had a segment called one and one and a half men. I forgot about that. Didn't you even have an intro for it or something? I will check in my audio archive. But anyway, is this what you would play?

This is called the one and a half men theme.

There you go. Okay, all I was going to say was maybe you're right that there's a certain kind of man who feels insecure in talking about certain things and feels for some reason timid to use the word woman. And I don't even think this is about issues of gender identity necessarily as we talk about it now because I think this has been going on long before. that i think it just has something to do with like yeah maybe maybe trying to be careful because maybe just a little bit of well you got to be really careful what you say about women or maybe just like a little bit of that i also and maybe this is what triggers me about it is i also feel like there is a time where i could you know i can't think of a specific example or who i would have been hung hanging out with but i feel like there there's like a sort of like bro-y guy who

sits around and like loves females you know like i can totally 100 agree i probably worked at the plumbing company with one of those kinds of dudes who is like somehow calls just decides to refer to women as females and it's not in a positive way at all yeah and i guess this was and the

reason it was so on my mind i saw this tweet like you know an hour ago when i woke up or something and it was just sort of uh it was sort of um needling me as i thought about it because i kept on thinking should i respond to this tweet and like what is the point of that this is front office sports like they have like 130 000 followers or something like that but it's like i don't know if i've ever seen a perfect example of two bullet points of exact equal value and in one yes they they refer to men but they have a problem saying women and it just bugged me but uh maybe we should hear from some i'll leave it there because maybe maybe maybe i'm not even right

I don't think, I mean, I don't think you're necessarily, actually, to me, the most compelling argument you're making is that kind of certain sort of dude who uses that term in a very derogatory, right when you said that, I was like, uh-huh, yeah, I know that guy. I 100% know that guy. So that could be kind of like lingering with you and just kind of mean that when you see that word, you think of that guy. But I think that's actually, I mean, I think it's a reasonable thing to try to lay off, you know. Can we talk about the important stuff, Andrew? Yeah. First of all, I think Olive may have learned how to close a spray bottle. And if that, Olive, Bubbles. Bubbles. The current cat, not the old cat.

Bubbles locked, like spun it so that when you hit the trigger, it doesn't spray.

Here's what happened this morning right as we were getting ready to do the show. bubbles formerly known as olive um by the way all of his hail and hearty good i saw a picture of the other day uh carrie took a picture of the boat situation for me because i'm getting some work done on it by the way for the people who are interested which was at least three because that's how many emails i got rich is fixing the boat yes you rich is doing it himself with a friend though right well the friend is about to go on a cruise or something and so it's just falling on Rich, and I'm just getting photos of Rich carrying around boat axles looking like a complete beef cast. How does that make you feel? Great. Because I'm not having to do it. He's retired. I am paying him as well. I don't know what a retired physician charges for fixing your boat trailer.

I mean, how do you pay an imaginary friend? We'll find out when we

settle up. In one of the photos, Olive was looking on with being in a sort of perplexed way. And I think that's why... Bubbles, I hope you didn't hear that. That's awkward. Anyway, right before the show, Bubbles jumped up on the sit-stand desk that I work from here and I grabbed the spray bottle to spray her and I went to spray. Nothing came out. Not because it was out of water, but because the nozzle had been screwed down. Now, there would be no reason for me to do that.

oh it's the kind not with a lock on the very tip of it but a nozzle that yeah you unscrew it to let

more liquid out you screw it down to let no liquid out i no one other than me has been in this apartment in uh no one who's not me or bubbles has been in this apartment in weeks

well i'm wondering if maybe that i mean maybe it's even more interesting than a cat learning how to twist close a spray bottle which is pretty interesting but maybe somebody is going in your

apartment well you know there was another funny thing when i got home from uh i guess it was chicago i have this little barbecue like a very very small like propane barbecue like it uses those small little propane tanks that you kind of use sometimes for camp stoves yep and uh it has these two kind of flaps on the side which are where like they're basically little trays or sort of table side tables that you obviously would put the like you know hot dogs you're about to barbecue or the cutting board or whatever on but they go up and down and they were both up and i would never do that there was no reason to that i came home and i was like did somebody break into my apartment go out to the balcony put up both of the little side supports on the barbecue you and then leave maybe on their way out they screwed down the spray bottle well grilling and

spray bottles are not you know unrelated unrelated thank you for saving me there i don't know if you've noticed this but i have a way of today especially but yesterday as well backing into sentences in a weird way that i can't finish constructing the sentence are you noticing that

am i no i'm not my brain bad no i think you're really really hard on yourself and i i mean i think no and i mean i'm less hard on myself but i also can identify with how bad it feels to not be able to summon a word in a particular moment i did it yesterday just gruesomely i can't remember the exact example but i literally just hit a dead end could not think of the word and then constructed a completely grammatically incorrect sentence because the only word i could think of did not work in the sentence i was constructing I'm. trying to say very basic things but i start the sentence in a weird way that then i can't think of like a common phrase to connect it to the end of the sentence and i'm building this weird scaffolding around the sentence to try to to try to make it work i i don't know what's wrong with me it's probably just kind of bad brain there was some drinking going on during the football game yesterday i'm going to blame it on that my maybe my brain power is not at at uh full volume see I don't know how to finish sentences. I am going to shut up now. But, okay, somebody breaks into your apartment. They have a little barbecue. And they do two very weird things.

Or Bubbles has learned. Because the other thing was, when I picked up the spray bottle, she didn't even flinch. It was like, she knew. She knew. Yeah. She had already taken all the bullets out of the clip. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She just looked at me like, what do you got? And then I pulled the trigger and nothing happened.

I was like, huh? On my end, we both said, what do you got at the exact same time, by the way, because I can totally picture that scene in a movie where somebody's holding a gun on somebody else. But the person who it's being pointed at knows there's nothing in there.

She definitely knew something I didn't know about this spray bottle situation. Sue me. Sue me for what? Okay. Let's talk sports really fast. I was loud wrong yesterday on the show when I said that Russell Wilson, that he was going to get a long-standing ovation from the Seahawks fans. And I mean, I deserve this. I deserve to be pilloried in the public square over this because I was really hard on Seattle fans. I called us betas. May have thrown the word cuck around. I don't think you did.

I don't remember that.

Like, I was just I was really down on what I thought was the sort of, you know, backbone or we could just say ability to hold a grudge of the Seattle fans. But, man, was I wrong because, man, did they boo.

I'm glad to hear that. You know, I didn't get the best read on that. Hey, quick. I'll build up to my reaction to that by also updating you on what I did for my plans as if anybody really cares. But on the show yesterday. No, I actually care. I care deeply. Did you go to the Eagles? Yeah, I think this is actually kind of interesting. I tried something new, Luke. I tried something new. Can you imagine that? And I loved it. So you talked me into going to watch the game with my friends at the Eagles, and I was a little bit on the fence because I really wanted to pay attention to all the aspects of this game. The crowd noise, what the announcers were saying, all of the drama about this game, right? Because Russell Wilson's coming back to play his old team on his old turf. And so I worried that watching it in a public place would take away some of the details that I really wanted to absorb. But you talked me into it. You said, go. You may need the camaraderie of your friends if we lose. And if not, then you'll be happy to celebrate with them. So I took that to heart. But then I leave the house, Luke, a little bit later than I wanted. I wanted to be at the Eagles at least a half hour before the game starts. You know me. I don't want to be rushing around. I want to be there. i want a good seat i want to be you know by a screen um but i'm leaving my house a little bit too late and i noticed like the bus situation to get to my house to there is a kind of a pain in the ass would take a long time i'd miss kickoff i'm feeling a little cheap these days with the cost of everything and i kind of don't want to call a an uber um and i'm like oh you know what i'm just probably gonna stay home i'm just gonna stay home and bootleg this game somehow i'm getting on my tv then i think of one last thing i'm like should i check those lime bikes and scooters and just see if there's anything the eagles is about two miles away and i've tried these lime bikes before a couple of times but one time the the whatever the little e-boost thing that makes it easier to go up hills and anywhere was busted on it i think and the other time i tried to drive it it was really hard and some car pulled up to me and said hey you have a flat tire and i was like Well, that would explain that. And that was a couple of years ago, and I've never gone back to using those things. And up in my neighborhood, like, I have a feeling there are other parts of Seattle where these bikes might be a little bit better kept. But around here, they're always on their sides. They're always tagged with graffiti. They always just seem like sad as hell.

You hear a lot, Andrew, about glacial melt and the sea level rise. But I would say in Portland, it's mostly lime bikes thrown into the Willamette.

Oh, that too.

The Willamette is at least three feet higher than it was before they invented those, because all people do is they just drive those scooters and bikes, and then they just chuck them into the river.

Do you think it's the people who are using them who are chucking them or the people who don't like them all over the-

Probably not, because it's probably on the card of the person who used it. It's somebody who came along afterwards. Yeah. But, man, it is just – that thing is freaking full of whatever you call those, basically, bikes and scooters.

But I – so I am at this mode. I'm kind of grumpily leaving the house, just thinking, I should just stay home. I should just stay. home and get working on this feed and see if i can get it on my tv but i'm like i see on the map is already there obviously well these is at work i hope well she she had a later meeting so she was going to miss kickoff anyway so i knew that i was going to be like the first one there same with my other friends um and i'm thinking they're all going to miss kickoff anyway maybe i should just stay home and make this a solo experience but i'm like okay i see that there are two bikes on this map if i start walking towards the direction that i would need to go anyway i'll check out these bikes they're probably all trashed and not working and if that's the case that's it i'm heading home i did my best um but i get to them and they're like kind of near each other on the sidewalk both laying on their sides i'm like yeah a couple of dead ducks there i pick one up it seems to be working the app says it's okay i'm like all right i open up my app uh luckily i still have like my information in uber and those two things are combined now i guess uber owns lime i think we've known that for a while so anyway um i you know click the buttons on the app the bike seems to unlock or at least it responds it's still not quite unlocked then it makes me take a safety quiz like a 10 question safety quiz i'm sure there's liability issues there or something and the first one i got wrong because it was related to scooters not bikes and i was

just trying well that's it i had to we were in denver i remember i had a i had a wonderful afternoon of scooting about denver and it was a lime scooter and i had to take that same quiz and

i also got one of them wrong because the first one doesn't make sense it's like before you get on your scooter what's the first thing you should do squeeze test the brakes test the acceleration and i just or both and i said just the brakes and it's like no you need to test both i'm like i'm not even on a scooter you dumb app anyway i take the quiz it's like you know it's like bright sunshine like bright sunlight out so i can't really see the app that well my god this is stupid but then i take the quiz and it's like as kevin would say bingo boingo you're ready to go So the bike unlocks, and I put one pedal down, or I move one pedal a little bit, and the bike just zips to life. It's like, hello, let me take over from here, Andrew. And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. Yes, my steed. And it took me, I mean, the e-assist on that thing was amazing. I know, like, this is so old news for so many of our listeners.

I've never ridden a bike with e-assist, Andrew. So this is, you're podcasting to the correct demo in me. I've actually never, for all of, I mean, those things are everywhere in Portland.

I've literally never driven one. And I think because of my two bad experience, I think I was on one one time where the e-assist wasn't working, and I don't think I realized that. And it was like a, it wasn't a huge steep hill, but it was a long, long, like, kind of, you know, gradient that I was going up. I remember just being pretty winded at the top. I mean, don't be wrong. I can ride a bicycle, but, like, I didn't want to be showing up at the Eagles, like, huffing and puffing and sweating. But no, this thing was fully functioning the way it was supposed to. And I think that was my first experience on a working one of these things. And my God, it was great. It got me to the Eagles. Again, like maybe a little bit, maybe a little bit under two miles by the time I walked to find the bike. But it got me there in moments. I mean, it was a little bit hairy riding around Northgate. That's the thing for me. Yeah, I tried to begin. I was trying to be on the sidewalks for a little bit when I was brand new on it. But then there was a jogger there. And I could tell I was riding behind him very slowly and giving him space, but I could tell he was trying to make room for me and I was making him a little bit paranoid. Like, when is this bike guy going to pass me? So I was just like, I can't do this to the runners. I just got on the street the way I supposed to. Did you shoot up 5th? I went down North Gateway to Roosevelt. Roosevelt to 191st, I want to say, and then like over to 15th or something like that. I couldn't, like, it connected the city. I mean, this sounds ridiculous, but it's like it's like every anybody who works in like transportation, public transportation would love to hear this. It like connected the city for me in a way that I didn't realize my house was connected to the Eagles. I even taking a car, you have to go through these bullshit intersections where like there's no light and you have to wait forever because I've taken cars there before. The bike made everything so much easier. The only hairy part was going right through Northgate where people are getting on and off the highway. and they don't care, and it's just a gross mess of transportation around there. I felt a little bit nervous there. I think I'd want to get – I should get a helmet, I think, probably, if I were to do this again regularly. But I'm almost tempted. I think I'll continue renting it. I think, hey, I took a bike. It should have cost me $5. It was more like $10, so it's not free. But still, compared to getting a car or something.

That's great. I'm so glad that worked out for you. Yeah, I never – it doesn't occur to me. My thing is I'm either walking or driving. Those are my two modes. If it's far – if it's too far for me to walk to, I just default to driving. But that's a – I mean I should think about some kind of other – just for the environment and for the –

sake of other people in portland i should think of the some of those things as being oh i could actually do one of those bikes or a scooter or something um i am a little bit of a scaredy cat it's weird because i grew up like obsessed with like i had like a really shitty bmx bike that i was always disassembling and repainting and buying new little like accessories for and like i rode my bike everywhere um but now as an adult it's like i know that i'm supposed to be on the street with the bike but i just i'm constantly thinking what if someone is texting while they're driving and they just take me out um but i you know again you're not really supposed to be on the sidewalk plus you end up going kind of slow if you're just using the sidewalks so i'm i've got to kind of get over that i think of my my hesitation about being in the road on a bike around motor vehicles that may or may not be seeing me and you want to give yourself a second to get used to it as well because

hopping on this thing and i don't think this is true for all e-bikes like if i were to buy one but hopping on this thing it doesn't feel like just hopping on a bike like they're heavy you know these these these e-bikes that you rent from the apps at least this one like it felt a little bit different i wasn't wobbly on a scooter like a moped more than a bike it's more like a bike than a moped but it doesn't just feel like hopping on a bmx or a 10 speed or whatever you and i would have grown up with right like it's just a heavier it's just a heavier thing and you feel more rooted to the ground in it a little bit um but also though i think that helps you you steady yourself out quite quickly because of the e-assist i think it just it almost like takes over for you um oh and then the other thing was like i'm writing and i'm like oh the one thing is i gotta pull over from time to time to look at the instructions on my phone about you know how to weave my way over there it's not a straight shot and then i realized oh that's what this rubber thing is for here on the front of the bike so you can strap in your holder yeah you strap in your phone and you put on your map and it's just like you know just like when you're riding a car you can follow along It did make me nervous. I'm like, if that strap breaks, because you're hitting bumps, and this thing, you know, it's hitting the bumps kind of hard, actually. But so it's kind of a bit of a rattly ride. Not bad, but the whole time I'm thinking, I'm so happy right now, but if this strap breaks, this, like, rubber band thing that holds my phone in place, and this ends up being a $1,000 bike ride because I've got to replace my phone, that will definitely change the mood very quickly. Yes. And change this memory very quickly. But no, it was really great. And I'm glad I got to the Eagles in plenty of time. I held the table for my friends. It was had a good view. Big gang showed up. It was tons and tons of fun. Thank you for the advice. Because I was when before we started that conversation yesterday, I was 80 percent sure I was just going to stay home.

I had such a different experience I mean a good experience Because I was very happy That we managed to win But I was just I realized that my favorite person To watch the Seahawks with Is the cat Me and the cat Were just having a freaking time Watching that game Like when I got nervous I would like I have this like long wand With like a feather on a stick You know like you swing it Through the air It looks kind of like a bird It's like a cat toy Of course It's not for the boudoir Although it kind of sounded like it I have a feather on a stick that I use When I'm really power cucking Oh my god

No we have one of those too Cats love those things

So I would just get up And I would nervously pace And then I would grab that thing And then I would flick it back and forth And the cat would just do back flips And it would get out some of my nervous energy Then she'd be tuckered out I'd sit on the couch during the more mellow periods And she'd come sit next to me it was like it was a really actually super fun night again very much colored by the fact that the seahawks somehow won it's so funny and we'll get into this much more on no point but it's so funny how a just a a millimeter of difference in that game and it's just energetically so different this morning everything about it your bike ride there uh me playing with the cat all of it is so tied up the the good feelings are for me very much tied up in the fact that we were the victors in that but uh the other thing i wanted to just mention really quick was i tried this new i don't know if you can call it a workout but i tried a new thing this morning i also was you know moving a little slow uh today when i got up and i didn't i just didn't feel like going on a run outside and i also didn't feel like running on the treadmill which those are the two things i do when i do the treadmill run i run like as fast as i possibly can for a shorter duration of time where i go like four miles but i go as fast as i can and it is it because you don't want to be on that kind of

thing because is it because you don't want to be on that thing if you're jogging or as you say i didn't realize you say this until a listener quoted you recently when you are going on one

of your little jogs that's what a listener put in the 10 of the week i always call it jogging because i feel like running sounds a little bit like i mean i don't know i feel like the speed that i go sometimes is more a jog than a run but specifically you will say i went on one of my little jogs. But anyway so when you go on one of your little jogs there's there must be something slightly enjoyable about being out and seeing the surroundings when you're on a treadmill you're locked there are you just trying to get through

it as fast as possible yes my little jog the thing about my little jog is it takes longer because i go a further distance and also you have to stop at a lot of lights and things there's just traffic sometimes just i have to expend a certain amount of mental energy navigating things like there's these two streets nobody cares about this but whatever there are these two streets that are near my house that are big like you know big arterials and to basically so i end up waiting at the light on both of them as soon as it turns green the walk turns green on one of them i have to sprint my ass off to get all the way to the next one and through that light because they're on the same timer and then if someone's taking a left on to this arterial sometimes they don't see me so i'm kind of nervous so i'm running as fast as i can but i'm also checking out of my peripheral that no one's going to turn left into me so these are the like mental calculations that i sometimes just don't feel like dealing with so the deal my deal with the treadmill is i consider it to be what they would call speed work which is i run as fast as i can and i run a shorter distance but because of that depending on the day sometimes it feels really grueling to me and i kind of dread it a little bit because i know there's going to be a period in the last mile well one of the things that i do to trick myself now is i listen to this album by the drums called the drums and i know exactly how many songs i listen to to get to four miles and those are

they have pretty tight short little pop songs right aren't they like three minute like good

two and a half yes between two and three minutes yeah cool and i know exactly what song on that album means i'm in my last lap um and but then yesterday i hit my airpod and it skipped forward a song and then i was like god my whole system is screwed like i'm always just doing these mental games to try to like make it less bad anyway this morning i thought you know what i'm gonna do something that i've been considering for a long time which is this thing called the 12 33 which is you put the treadmill on 12 incline and you walk for 30 minutes at three miles per hour i actually did four miles per hour but um it's i've seen this is like big on the internet and it's for people that are not maybe don't love running but uh it was a really good workout but it wasn't as it was interesting i think what it was was i was in a good heart range for a longer period of time than i might be if i'm running my fastest but it's over more quickly if that makes any sense

yeah but did you did you not enjoy being on the treadmill a longer period of time though

i was listening to the stern show i was laughing aloud like for for instance when i'm like going as fast as i can on the treadmill i can't all i can listen to is music i can't listen to people talking because i don't know i need the music to propel me um and i found that in this case i could actually listen to uh a radio show and laugh at parts of it like it was just it was still a good workout but it wasn't like i thought i was gonna like you know collapse at any moment which is how i sometimes feel if i'm running as fast as i can and i thought this could be really good because i think i got a pretty good workout in from it i was sweating and also i didn't it wasn't terrible Like I was like, I could do this five days a week and I wouldn't dread it. Now, I don't know. Calorically, we have a lot of runners in the audience. And my guess is that the reason that I didn't feel like I was going to die is because I'm working out less hard. So maybe my breakthrough is work out less hard and you won't dread it so much. But I think I'm going to try it again. Like I said, it felt like I was actually getting some good exercise. But also it wasn't like I wasn't like having to do. I mean, I literally sometimes on my treadmill jog will have to do this thing where I tell myself, you can do anything for two minutes. Like, there'll be eight minutes left in the run, and I'll be like, you can do anything for two minutes. And then there'll be six minutes left, and I'll be like, you can do anything for two minutes. So that's a little intense for me at age 46. And by the way, you would never know this to look at me. It's not like I'm some Adonis. So maybe I need to kind of like think about ways to exercise that I don't dread so that I will then be more diligent about doing it.

But also just adding another activity, let's just say adding another activity into your roundup is probably just good because now you have three things you can rotate through. You know what I mean? That's like adding another pitch to your pitches, you know? I'm like Robbie Ray. Yeah, exactly. I'm just throwing that splitter that I invented earlier this season. So I kind of like that, too. You know, it's like you don't have to now just do this and you won't just do this. And it doesn't mean you have to abandon the other ones. But, like, it's just one more, you know, feather in your quill. Arrow in your quill? It'll be interesting. Arrow in my quiver? Arrow in your quiver. Quill in the quill. It'll be interesting to see how my legs feel tomorrow. like is walking at an incline for 30 minutes like that yeah uh will i be like will my calves be super sore or more sore than if i ran or whatever but you know what i do on the elliptical

machine is and i've been just i just do it this way for years so you have like several different like exercises you can choose from and i always just go like fat burner or whatever because i guess that's what i want to do either way i'm just there to be on the be on that machine for about 45 minutes or whatever the thing is but does it do more resistance is that what the fat burning is i think and i don't know if they all do this or whatever but the one that i do it is like four minutes of something kind of easy to moderate and then four minutes of more resistance and more incline and then four minutes back down to that original one then four minutes back to the more difficult one but the difficult one quote-unquote difficult one is still pretty moderate in difficulty if you can sort of picture it on the screen you know like there's still a lot of headroom that i can kind of crank that thing up so what i do is that's how it that's how it pre-orders it for me um but then after my second round of the easiest mode and then i'm going back up into the harder mode i start slowly throughout the workout cranking up those harder modes so i keep the easy ones easy but every time i switch back to the harder one i'm cranking it higher and higher so it's like making a mountain on my screen if you can sort of picture that so then by the end i'm pretty wiped out and i really need i think i really feel like i'm finally going downhill by the end because i'm i'm not like at full incline and full resistance i should try that i mean i have

to say this building that i live in they have a pretty snazzy gym like in terms of the all the different equipment they've got something that's just like they've got stair climbers now and And they've got something that's just like almost like a – it's like a treadmill, but it's just uphill, and it looks kind of more like – it's almost like a – what do you call one of those – like if you had a – like the Ewoks would walk on between their tree houses. What would you call that? Like a kind of a hanging – Like a catwalk almost? Catwalk, maybe. Okay. It almost looks like a catwalk. It's very weird. I don't know even what it does, but it looks like it could be maybe fun.

Is there always an Ewok on there? Are they always hogging it?

There is, and that's one of the problems. It's like, guys, let someone else use the elevated catwalk.

Yeah, that's Ewok behavior right there. Not to overgeneralize, but it is. Right.

It was a female Ewok.

You son of a...

All right, let's do this. Let's take a quick break, and then when we come back, we will... I almost forgot about Nick Cage until I heard your vampiric intro tape today, Andrew.

Oh, yeah, right. Never mind. Yeah, we got to talk about that.

You've got to get into that. So we'll talk about that and Wegmans and their Scan and Go app coming up here on TBTL.

Thank you, baby.

All right. Let's thank our daily donors who are keeping TBTL in business with their generous financial support. I sure appreciate folks like Charles Rose out there in Linwood, Washington. Thank you, Charles. Diane Sibbert is in Chehalis, Washington. I went camping not far from Chehalis, Andrew, with Addy. And it was, this is when we took the cat. And it was at a place called Irv, no, Ike Kinswa Campground. And it was awesome. It's on this thing called Mayfield Lake. I'm very into it.

My brain is so broken. I do this all the time. When I hear the word Chehalis, at first I think, oh, that's where Luke and Camaro Kev and the boys go for their summer retreat weekend.

Well, that's not crazy. That's Chelan.

Those are very similar words. Yes. Okay. I always, when I get one, it's one of those things. I don't know if you have this. When I get one of those words in my head, I cannot remember the other one at all. You know what I mean? Totally.

Well, they're very similar, though, in defense of your brain. By the way, that trip, the Chelan trip was fun, but it was very interesting because unlike other years, there were almost no. In fact, there were no Chelanigans.

Yeah.

There was no craziness. Nobody went to the hospital. Nobody fought anyone in or out of our party. And it was Sunday morning as we got up after our second night of, like, restful sleep that started at probably 11 or midnight. Camaro said, I feel like I need to apologize about how normal this was.

He looked up from his book that he was reading in the corner and said, gentlemen, I'd like to apologize. His glasses were midway down the bridge with his nose. Anyway, Diane, thank you so much for supporting us from Chehalis. Amina Alsadi, our friend in Washington, D.C. Killing it over at Vox. Just killing it in the radio game. Today Explained. It's an appointment listening for me here in Portland. I'm always, I feel so starstruck when I hear Amina getting credited for her work on that show. And thank you for supporting this show, Amina. We really appreciate you. uh ruthie benton is in los angeles california trying to think when the last time i was in la was it's been a while for me uh i want to get back down there and i want to thank ruthie for supporting the show also heidi festin is in bonnie lake washington i tis a bonnie lake every god darn no usually what i say about bonnie lake is i once bought a hyundai a hyundai excel in Bonnie Lake that had 130,000 miles on it, which is about 100,000 miles more than you want on that year of... Hyundais are actually really good cars now. This was before Hyundai got their act together, and that thing was a real POS. That was the car that I had to blast the heat at all times, including the summer, so the car wouldn't overheat.

Is this also... I don't want to spin this too far out of control, but is this also the car that you had to pull some shenanigans at the bank in the u district in order to know that was a honda accord okay

this was i think this was before the honda accord um because i just had a very very very limited amount of money with which to get another vehicle and like this was you know the car that that i could afford and i was like oh well this this hyundai excel it appears to run and it's you know five hundred dollars i wonder why and then it's like i drive it for you know a month and it's just like smoking and like i i think that might have also been the car that had a some kind of an oil leak so that i had to constantly change the spark plugs do you ever have a car

where the spark plugs would foul no that's interesting so you had a leak of of liquid

oil and it was getting into the the sparks so that the spark plug wouldn't spark because it coated in oil or it would get coated in oil over time and so in order to start the car in order to get the car running properly i would have to put i i had the glove compartment was full of spark plugs and a spark plug wrench and i would just put a new spark plug in when i would drive the car

i don't know much about cars um but i will say this isn't there something very satisfying about a spark plug just it just in its being like yeah i remember i think i might have had an old one as a kid or something not a toddler i didn't use it to teeth or anything like that that'd be pretty badass that'd be some real bill brasky vibe right i feel like he teased on a spark plug i feel like at some point you know somebody was discarding an old spark plug i'm like oh man i like this thing i like the way it feels in my hand yeah and the way and i'm trying to think if i've ever replaced them or not i feel like i have and they just kind of like they nestle in there right they kind of lock in there or do they yeah are they one side yeah one side is threaded yeah yeah and you use

this long like rat like socket like a spark plug like socket so it's just yeah screwing them in it's very satisfying it's like one of the only like car things i replaced a um cv joint on one of my cars under my dad's tutelage as a teenager and i think i've done a couple brake jobs and then I used to drive around with the spark plug supply in my glove car. But that was pretty much the end of my car-fixing ways. And then eventually I started getting cars that were a little newer and also started taking them to professionals to work on.

Yeah, isn't the – that's a big – I feel like my CV joints would go bad in my old minivan and if I was turning a corner, it would make a clicking noise. But isn't that – like that sounds like a pretty big job. You have to jack the car up? Oh, yeah, you have to take the wheel off. You have to use something called a pickle fork.

Whoa. I'm in. I believe. I think to get the ball joint out, I had to use something called a pickle fork, which, you know, yeah, it was pretty involved. And, again, I was doing this, but I think, you know, my dad was, like, wandering by every few hours to make sure I wasn't, you know. Yeah. Like, I had, you know what I had? I had my, did you ever have a Chilton's? Uh-uh. Like a Chilton's guide to your car? Uh-uh. So, you know, you had the Thomas Guide, which was the, like, map thing, like, for your city, like, where everything is, all the streets. And then there was something called Chilton's, and it was basically the, like, how to fix everything on your particular vehicle manual. Oh, I had no idea. They would sell them at, like, Al's Auto Supply. And I think I just, like, read through this Chilton's on how to do this CV joint replacement or whatever.

whatever nice none of this is interesting to steven gardner in port orchard washington but he continues to support the show thank you steven we appreciate him for that we appreciate the listeners who support the show even though they're bored by this um but we appreciate all of our

donors of the day thank you for keeping tbtl going hello and welcome to top story uh one of

our dearest and oldest listeners baruce sent this in uh it's nicholas cage talking about the accent that he's using in this new movie that's coming out renfield and i'll tell you this andrew i'm not a big like dracula head but i might actually see this because it's basically a kind of a i think it's a dark comedy and there are some photos of nicholas cage like just somebody snapped some pictures on the set of him as dracula and it looks kind of great like the look on him is really awesome he's just weird enough that i think he could play the role particularly well but he says that the voice he's doing for dracula in this movie is actually his father who i didn't realize was an academic august coppola okay uh it's a combination of his father his um uh and bancroft and i didn't realize this but i guess uh i think his name is richard lee he's the actor he's a british actor who i think he plays he plays one of the guys in uh lord of the rings he plays one of the wizards i think he plays the bad one is that sarah saruman yeah sounds right but i guess that guy also played dracula at some point i don't know i'll just play you nick cage we know

renfield's coming we've seen a little bit of the look of dracula but what what is the vibe that he is bringing? What is the sense of this?

Kind of an amalgamation of sort of a mid-Atlantic, you know, August Coppola accent, Nicholas, you know. So by the way, that must have been how his dad talked. Yeah, I love that. Nick, Nicholas. Like, this would be a weird way to grow up. Your dad would just be like, Nicholas.

I do like, oh, sorry, go ahead. I was just going to say, like, you know, it wasn't that long ago on this show that we kind of just talked about you know how seriously he takes this stuff you know like in a certain way like he's kind of mockable in some ways because he's like kind of nuts um but he really does take like you know when he's going into a character even if it's for a really really cheesy movie he really does take these influences and everything really seriously and it's interesting

to hear his process yeah yeah i forget what the thing was i remember the conversation that you're referencing where like he's sort of easy to make fun of because he's so intense and because he seems like he's so kind of not self-aware but actually reading that one interview where he was just talking about his process and what his sort of why he's be like he knows that he's being weird in movies and it's not just totally accidental he's not just throwing stuff against the wall it's like there's a theory to it he's he's trying to sort of uh you know create an homage to other actors and certainly, I mean, there's much more thought behind it than I would have thought there was. So I feel like I'm having a, like, the three people, well, I didn't ever have a big problem with this guy, but I feel like the three public figures that I'm really reassessing are Billy Joel, Nicolas Cage, and then Brendan Frazier. Not that I was ever anti-Brendan Frazier, but he has had a whole really interesting, as they call it, renaissance lately. You heard about this?

No.

No, but I love that name Well, first of all, he went to Cornish College of the Arts in Seattle Which makes me always feel connected to him Because I've heard of that college And that's the only reason But I actually almost went to that school There was a thing called the Krell Shimer Grant I almost bought that school

I did, yeah

No, I was actually really interested in going there But it was so expensive And I applied for this thing called the Krell Shimer Grant Which if you got it, it was like a free ride And I did not get it, and then I did not go to Cornish But anyway, Brendan Fraser, of course, was, you know, a super hunk. He's George of the Jungle. He was in Cino Man. He was in those the mummy movies and stuff. And then, like a lot of us, his body started changing and he didn't look like the guy from George of the Jungle anymore. And then people started taking pictures of him out and about in the world and a lot of commentary about the fact that he didn't, he wasn't this incredible hunk anymore. And then he was kind of having, couldn't get cast in movies and he was in some kind of tough financial times. And so it was just kind of piling on thing. And then at some point he entered the phase of his career that was the redemption part of it. And Darren Aronofsky cast him in this new film called The Whale that's coming out. And he got at the I think the Venice Film Festival Brendan Fraser got like a 10 minute standing ovation For his performance And he was crying And it was

It was very, very charming. Wow. Wow. No, I heard none of that. Well, now you're caught up on the Renaissance.

Sort of a mid-Atlantic, you know, August Coppola accent, Nicholas, you know, combined with Sir Christopher Lee with some...

Oh, Christopher Lee. I don't know what I called him. Oh, okay.

And Bancroft's Ronan for good measure. Doesn't he look like the kind of boy who has to fight him off? Yes, he does.

So that's the voice that he's apparently doing. I'm guessing, doesn't he look like the kind of boy who has to fight him off? That must be from The Graduate, right? Oh, maybe. The only Anne Bancroft movies I know are The Miracle Order about Helen Keller or The Graduate. And if that was from the Helen Keller movie, that's weird.

Did I ever tell you, this is not related to any of this, but now I say something. I referenced a movie. Yes, Andrew. i referenced a movie that has lived in my head for years and years and years now and i don't i referenced it to genevieve recently and she had no idea what i was talking about it occurred to me i don't think most people have any idea what i'm talking about and i haven't turned to the internet yet so i will just turn to you luke and the tens of listeners the walking

internet except right exactly except i'm like a internet explorer it takes kind of long and i am

also wrong about so it's a it's a it's an old black and white movie and it's about this like newspaper magnate right and he has like um oh happy gilmore uh no uh let's see here it's um it's like big daddy it's big daddy you got there no all right i'm pretty sure and again i don't know why i'm just bringing this up and i've never looked it up before but this had this is a little it's a little bit gruesome what i'm gonna describe here but i swear it might have even been a made for tv movie when made for tv movies were big network events i'm not even sure about that but i'm pretty sure it was called the doll maker and you will know why this stuck with me because i saw this as a child and i don't i just have a vague memory of seeing it by myself like in the family room where we that's the room where we watch most of our TV and it was shockingly scary

because I believe this is what I think about name sounds scary to me and it's not a horror movie like a seven-year-old kid yeah you're watching it by yourself and here's what I

here's what I remember without looking anything up let's see how much I get right about this maybe you can google for me while while I talk it was about a woman a very poor woman growing up in a very poor part of the country and I'm going to put this maybe in the 19 I don't know somewhere between maybe the 1930s and 1950s maybe even in Appalachia or something like that and she's very very poor and she makes these little dolls for a living and then something happens where maybe her doll making catches on or something and she actually comes into a decent amount of money through her work but she also has this little daughter and I guess I'll give a straight up trigger warning here like this is something i saw as a kid if i'm remembering it right and it really scared the hell out of me the little girl who's playing with one of her mom's dolls takes the doll outside and is sitting on railroad tracks playing with her doll and for some reason she might have been deaf or something which i don't know if that makes sense because you'd still feel a train coming but um a train comes and essentially takes off the little girl's legs and then we cut to a hospital in my memory we cut to a hospital scene with the mom the doll maker like literally throwing money on the gurney that her daughter is on screaming bring her back bring her back like trying to throw money at at the problem and like if i'm right about any of that like i i saw that as a child for some reason my parents were very strict about what i watched But, like, I think it was a drama made for adults that somehow I ended up seeing, and it kind of traumatized me. Are you looking this up? Can you find heads or tails?

I have a lot of, I've got, you, I don't, they don't mention the scene you're referencing. But, yeah, this was a TV movie from 1984 starring Jane Fonda. Okay. Jane Fonda is the doll maker, and her daughter is played by Amanda Plummer, a.k.a. Honey Bunny from Hope Fiction.

Okay, good. So in 84, I was born in 76. So I'm like, I am under 10 years old if I was watching this, if this was a made-for-TV movie.

It also stars Levon Helm, like the drummer from the band. Like, you know, the Last Waltz, that Scorsese documentary? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy, Levon Helm, was also in this. He plays Jane Fonda's husband, Clovis.

And is it called The Dollmaker?

It's called The Dollmaker.

Okay, I'm going to see if I can find a commercial for this.

You go ahead, though. Yeah, no, you, I mean, you, and I'm telling you, dude, just. the cover just to come.

freaks me out like the cover of the vhs tape because it's jane fonda and she's you know whittling something or she's making a doll but this is the one thing that i learned from being a kid is if there's a doll in a movie it's never ending well yeah it's true it's either chucky or it's that twilight zone with the like the little like doll that you know you pull the string on the back and it says something but that doll gets out of control yeah yeah i forgot about that there's just rarely a movie that has a doll in it where they're like and then they all lived Happily Ever After with their doll that was Not psychotic

There's one thing you mentioned there that That confuses Me or maybe this wasn't made For TV because you're seeing it as a VHS Movie huh well no

I'm not I'm just maybe it's the movie poster I don't know it's like whatever it's just there's A picture of I'm seeing on IMDb a picture Of Jane Fonda maybe it's just a still from the Film and what does it say On IMDb does it say like what year it takes place I had it between the 30s and 50s um uh well this was based on a book actually that was written um back in the day uh it's uh the movie is about a family the story the book itself is about a family moving from their rural home in appalachia to detroit michigan where the father intends to uh work and factory gertie is hesitant to leave their home her husband clovis believes that it will bring the family a regular income and a better way of life what Gertie finds is a new place to exist rather than live and the family settles down in a tar paper shack by the railroad tracks in an industrial neighborhood and that would probably be the same railroad tracks that scarred

you for life and I'm seeing something here that says this is World War II era so that's between the 1930s and 1950s as you would say this is an Andrew W. Tuesday or Andrew W. Woo's day

why am I having such a hard time ringing a bell this is not complicated wow so anyway Nicolas Cage is doing a weird accent

in this new movie um i'm just so glad i am so excited that my memory of this movie was so

so correct although it's disturbing it's probably i mean honestly that's probably an interesting study of how something that's extremely scarring is also extremely extremely

vivid yeah although none of the descriptions i'm reading mentions that scene i described so i could be wrong about that i'll look at that after the show that 100 is in the movie if your brain

invented that we need to have you see somebody yeah we probably do anyway i i remember and again you know it's this stuff is so it's so blurry and it was so long ago and maybe i'm conflating this but you know we didn't really we didn't have like a tv for a lot of my childhood my parents were pretty anti-tv but then sometimes we would have like a black and white tv that my dad would like put in a closet and then bring it out you know for like a special event or and then sometimes they wouldn't be supervising it so i have this memory of watching tv in our basement of the first rental house we had and it was like one of those things where it must have been like a you know my parents were off doing something somehow i was just solo with this television and there was like a movie on like a t it wasn't a tv movie but the movie that was on was poltergeist oh my god and i was so sheltered i mean i was such a little christian kid and i so didn't get to see any kind of scary movies like i was afraid of the scene in ben-hur when ben-hur reunites with his friend slash gay lover if you believe gor vidal who wrote the book that was a very funny thing charlton heston was like it's not a gay romance and gor vidal who wrote it was like uh bish it is but like there's a scene in ben-hur well another thing that scared me was in gone with the wind when they're doing a surgery on a guy but of course it's not anesthetized because of the era and you don't even see him but you just hear the guy yell don't cut doc and that like that really really scared me so i was like a very sensitive kid i didn't grow up watching very much tv or scary stuff so to go from zero to poltergeist and the fact that you're watching poltergeist

on a television that's a black and white television on a rolly cart i mean which is basically what happens in the movie yeah i mean it's not on a rolly cart in the movie but yeah I mean, there's that. I mean, it's the most it's like a parody of pretension to say that TV is a character in that movie. But it is like that. Right.

This is not what happens is like the TV sucks a kid in or something.

Yeah.

Yeah. I just remember being. And also, it was like one of those things where it was totally dark in the basement other than having the TV. The glow of this TV. Oh, my God. I mean, literally, I guess I was reenacting Poltergeist. Maybe my maybe. Is it possible I lived through a Poltergeist?

Yeah.

As a kid, and I just buried it really deep.

Was there a time that you were in the television? Think hard. Were you in the TV?

I do remember being in a crib and getting sucked towards the TV. Okay, interesting. Our friend Lloyd, hey Lloyd, the pepperoni magnate, I think that's this Lloyd we're talking about.

sent our other Lloyd wants to stop being referred to as other Lloyd by the way we gotta get that's totally fair because we were thanking him for being a donor the other day and he's like you know maybe don't call me the other Lloyd when you're that's fair and he was very he's I mean

Lloyd is okay so Lloyd so okay so that like wait you know what this might be from other Lloyd no I

think this uh I think this is from pizza Lloyd let's not but we just called him other Lloyd again I did that for humor We did that for humor We'll call him fact checker

Will you please give us what do you do for a job So we can call one guy pizza Lloyd And one guy whatever Or just something interesting about you

I'm deeming him here fact checkin' Lloyd Because Lloyd is the person who always Writes into me when there's an issue with the show

Fact checkin' Lloyd Sorry that we were calling you other Lloyd This is Pepperoni Lloyd Who must just read a lot of Because he works in the kind of food industry. He's really got his finger on the pulse of all like restaurant related and also grocery news, which is a very useful beat for our show. Definitely. Believe it or not. Theft forces Wegmans to ditch Scan and Go app. So Wegmans is a grocery chain kind of mostly in the in the Northeast. I think it's based in Rochester, New York. They have 107 stores in seven eastern states. I'd never heard of a Wegmans till I lived out in New York. but um they had this app uh this scan and go app so that you could uh as i mentioned earlier in the show you could like just scan the barcode on stuff or actually i think it might be a qr code you scan the qr code on everything and then it just charges your account and then you walk out with it and they're supposed to check your receipt and they had to get rid of it because everybody was just stealing everything and the same thing was happening to walmart years ago when they tried to do this and i say good like i'm sorry but and i don't know why like i don't know why this just grinds my gears so much but the way that Wegmans was describing this was that it was an attempt to keep their customers safer like the way they described rolling out the scan and go was early in the pandemic we quickly rolled out our scan app to provide a contactless in-store shopping option Wegmans made in a set in a statement like no you didn't like this is that you want to talk about like man versus female this is the one that really sticks in my craw

Andrew is when companies are doing something to make more money or to maximize profits and they're cloaking it in we're doing you a favor I don't know why that one just gets me so rankled I know that every single show we do I say I have a different favorite Dilbert cartoon but you know my favorite Dilbert cartoon can I ever stop talking about Dilbert I remember seeing this as like probably a tween or something maybe I was like 14 years old it's very I was very into Dilbert around that time I really was um scott adams great guy i hear um but one of the dilbert cartoons that sticks in my head the most is the boss is talking to his employees and he says for years now we've been saying that people or employees are our most valuable asset we were wrong money is our most valuable

asset and that's the end of the meeting i believe yes exactly like wegmans did not roll out scan and go because they were worried about their customers getting covid they rolled it out because some business consultant says if you have if you have enough people using this you can have three fewer people working at the register and you can like we've done the math and you're going to actually make a profit on this that's the only reason that companies do just about anything it's like i get so mad about the towels you know save the whales when you're in the hotel and it's like they've got a little sign that says like we're conserving water like we're we're trying to keep a you know a bluer planet so just please reuse your towels it's like no you don't want to pay to wash all these towels like i just i it makes me the one that i'm always always complaining about uh is when the bank makes you jump through eight million hoops just to access your own money because they say they're protecting your money but it's like no the federal deposit insurance corporation or whatever they're called the fdic is who's protecting my money because it's all insured if somebody steals all your money out of your bank account they have to replace it that's how the fdic thing works they want to protect their money and like i just i mean i can't you can imagine andrew how many times it's been late at the casino and i've been trying to lecture somebody on the other end of the phone about this exact principle i was gonna say i guess you and i

never go over i think you and i have very different lived experiences with that because there have been times where it's like i'll get a notification like hey there's some suspicious activity on your account and you look and you're like oh shit yeah no I did not I have not been buying shovels in Austin like yeah like thank you like it's sort of like their alert system has saved me in the past and also and this is kind of to the side of what you're talking about but the ability to like pause or I guess like kind of push pause on your credit cards from an app or a website

case like you lost it for a moment or something like i actually think that all of these things they've built in around my credit cards and debit cards have been incredibly useful well the

difference between you and i andrew is when there's sketchy activity on my account i'm the one

you're like i bought all these shovels in austin exactly you know about my austin shovel trips

doesn't work anymore like i don't like that when i it doesn't happen as much thankfully but there was a period of time where you would have to call the like debit card or credit you have to call your bank to tell them you're going out of state so that they don't think your card is stolen and it's just like why do I have to do this it's not because my see I just take the approach that you know it's a hassle I wouldn't want to have my identity stolen obviously but like as far as if something were to go sideways with my bank account and someone were to hack into it and and take money and it wasn't me i now hopefully i haven't had to test this theory a bunch so like i could have a really bad experience with and it totally changed my worldview on this but it seems to me that generally it's like you file a fraud thing and then they usually put the money back in your account until they've investigated and then they deem it to be fraud if it was in fact fraudulent and then it just kind of handles it like i'm not i'm not super worried about my money in my checking account getting stolen because if it gets stolen then they just have to put it back in there um but you know i do think that um i do think some of the things on the various apps and such are convenient and like the way that we can now transfer money and stuff like it's there there are some upsides to it but i just like this for some reason out of this whole article about wegmans and the fact that basically everyone was just stealing from them which also i mean seems like it has to happen a lot a lot with the self-checkout um although i'll tell you they are getting very clever with trying to make you nervous about like probably at this point if you're going to steal from a grocery store and not that anybody should you're probably better off just walking out of the store because man like at the fred meyer by my house the camera setup at the self-checkout and the complexity of the self-checkout like i've like accident i mean seriously not even trying to steal something from them but it'll be like i scan an onion and it doesn't go in right or something and then i put it in the bag and then it sets off all the alarms and the person comes over and it immediately starts replaying footage of me with the onion putting it in my bag no really no huh yeah so it's like god in you it is really like i have to give them credit this particular system at the self-checkout this fred meyer is so robust like you're totally on camera and they're showing you a video of yourself so it's major like you're not going to get away with anything and then it's like it knows How many items you've scanned I mean that's actually Not complicated to figure out And then it has footage Of you scanning every item And if there's any problem It just starts playing a loop Of the last thing you scanned

That's so weird I don't know if I like that You know what they should do To soften it a little bit It's pretty Brazil-ish They should put like One of those like Instagram filters on it So you look like A cute puppy dog Putting onions in your bag So at least they're like We're watching you But also We have fun

Here I go once again With the email Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

All right. I'm proud of us, Andrew. Even though we did talk a bit about the Seahawks, mostly the Russell Wilson stuff, we did not go all the way down that long journey. We're saving that for the no point, which we'll record after this. But I'm actually fairly impressed with our level of restraint. Because it's, let's be honest, even more than Wegmans, it's the only thing that I, I love the fact that there are two dudes, two different dudes named Gino that have all of my sports happiness now in their little hands. Yeah, right.

You know, they, you're talking about Suarez on the, on the Mariners, of course, which the announcers always say his name, Eugenio Suarez. And I'm like, okay. And so I've been hearing that for so long. I'm like, okay, that's how you say his name. But a friend of mine is Mexican, grew up in Mexico, lives here now. And I was listening to part of the game with him It actually felt like high school by the way We were out visiting our friend At our friend's cabin A few weeks ago this summer And there's no cell reception there So I couldn't follow the game on my phone So every now and then me and my buddy would go out To the car and just turn on the car And like just check in with the game Right? That was my buddy Neil And he kind of laughed And rolled his eyes when Rick Ruth says Eugenio and he says He's just he's pronouncing every single syllable there in a way that is just like so grating for me to hear. But then but the way Neil said it, like, I don't know that I can it almost sound like you just saying a henio is the proper way to say it. Not a you henio, just a henio. But I'm not confident enough. Like in that moment, you know, I've had a few beers. I'm not driving anywhere, guys. I'm just sitting in the car. that's

why it was like high school we're just sitting in a parked car drinking beers hot boxing yeah exactly listening to the mariners game it's a happy memory for me but yeah so i'm always like i was like oh okay i know how to say his name eugenio but then my friend who speaks spanish is like oh god don't say yeah i think i just got a eugenio down like it took me you know more than

half the season to have that feel sort of uh comfortable for me i guess but then they also call him gino interchangeably uh when he's uh you know yeah kind of upon second reference they'll

often say gino yeah and i'm not and i've never done that because i wasn't sure if he goes by gino or if that's just something the announcers decided to do to make it easier on them so i

never had clarification i've heard the players i've heard other players i mean this is not even what we're here to talk about but can we just just take a quick moment to appreciate how Amazing it is that like folks like Gino Eugenio and like Julio Rodriguez do these Full interviews in English after they Just hit a home run yeah Right and ran around the bases if you gave me Two years Just sitting in a room studying I Couldn't do an interview in Spanish It's just like and we don't even think about it it's just Like yeah let's go talk to Gino and it's like My guy is doing all Of this in not his first language

It was complete fluidity oh and I mean And do you remember that that was one of the atrocious things that Kevin Mather said in that like kind of leaked tape that Kevin Mather, the former president of the Mariners, who ended up losing his job because he goes and this is during the height of the pandemic. And he gives a talk via Zoom to like a rotary club, I think, and some Mariners fan who's just like literally in his basement late at night uncovers this this piece of tape. And he's like, oh, I'll hear what Kevin Mather had to say to this small group of people. and he said all kinds of just like ridiculous inappropriate and racist stuff including the fact that julio rodriguez like the the one of the biggest prospect in the in not even the american league in all of baseball this is a couple of seasons ago i think or maybe just last year and like the one thing that he says about julio is well he has to work on his english that's the one thing that he said about julio rodriguez the probably rookie of the year well maybe not maybe He's runner-up rookie of the year. What do you mean? Well, who is the – I'm blanking on his name, but the guy in Cleveland is also a rookie. Oh, yeah, Harris. Wait, no, no.

Harris was the kid in Atlanta who hit the home run that we thought was the end of the game the other night. And he's like the front-runner for the National League rookie of the year. Oh, are you talking about –

The Guardian rookie.

Kwan. Oh, yeah. Stephen Kwan. I think it might be Stephen Kwan. I was wondering – I don't know. I think Julio's – I don't know Kwon's exact numbers. I know he hits for average, and he's obviously super good. By the way, Oregon State product, Stephen Kwon. Oh, I didn't know that. But I think. But anyway, yeah, the idea that you would – that your takeaway from Julio Rodriguez, one of the most dynamic athletes – I mean, I really can't think – sorry, we're doing a no point here. Yeah, we were so disciplined.

I know, right?

That's when I opened the door. I said Rumpelstiltskin, and now we're fucked. um i i uh but i just i i honestly don't know if if there is another pro athlete that i can think of who i've had the affection towards that i have towards julio rodriguez just as a human being on this planet like i loved griffey but he was always kind of prickly with the media i mean he was super good but he was i don't know and not that it's not that the player's job is to be palatable necessarily to the media but like i just can't think of one thing about julio rodriguez it's not perfect to me and the idea that this guy would be like criticizing his language skills is thank

god that guy doesn't have his job anymore yeah according to okay kwan at least is on this list because for a second i didn't see him on this list and i was like i thought i was just totally talking out my my bottom um but i'm on a list here some sort of uh odds to win al rookie of the year this might be a betting site and it does say so i don't understand what the pluses and minuses mean luke but i know you do so i'll tell you what i'm seeing on the screen and you can translate so it looks like if i understand this correctly julio rodriguez is far and away the leader at negative 1700 so yes and then that means if you wanted to bet if you bet a thousand dollars

that those are betting lines and basically if it's a negative it means you're gonna have to bet a like a ton of money to get a little bit of money whereas if someone's plus a thousand you could bet a small amount of money to and you get a lot of money because it's seen as less likely

And Julio is in the negative four digits, and the next person is an Orioles player who I don't know how to say their last name. We haven't seen the Orioles much. Adley Rushman. Not Rushfield or something. Rushman, it looks like.

That guy was the number one overall draft pick, I think, a couple seasons ago.

Oh, okay. And he's plus 750. Then George Kirby at plus 6,500. And then.

steven kwan at 15k so i guess if i'm reading that right julio rodriguez huge favorite there

and kevin mather currently um parking cars outside of a golf tournament i wouldn't let him in my car anyway we send love to people working as valets i did that job actually was a very it was a really really fun job hey perfect specifically at golf tournaments speaking of jobs

Here's a story that Erin sent in to us from her youth or from the past, but it just made her think of us.

Hi, Luke and Andrew. This is listener Erin from Spokane. Every so often I have a flashback from my first job, which was at Arby's. And for some reason, I feel like you'd enjoy this story. And I'm going to relate this experience, a flashback to this one of the most tragic moments. So I was working there one day in the drive-thru, and unfortunately that day we ran out of roast beef. Instead of closing down the shop, which you would think, you know, Arby's being famous for roast beef would do, we stayed open. And so as a drive-thru individual, I had to listen whenever people came through the line and say, welcome to Arby's, may I take your order, and just to let you know we are out of roast beef. To say people were confused because Arby's claimed to have the meats, they did not get the meats at that time, that would be an understatement. Got a lot of angry individuals. Most people drove on through the line and didn't order anything. Some people did still get their curly fries or occasionally a market fresh sandwich or hot ham and cheese. But, yeah, I don't know what your thoughts are on a restaurant known for basically one thing, staying open for the remainder of that day. All right. Thanks for listening.

Power out. now for me i i would like to know who made this decision because it could be like if you're working there the franchisee but well but hear me out here because if you're working there and you're out of roast beef you could just say okay well i guess you guys all got to go home and have the day off but i mean this is hourly work that might not be a good thing for somebody working there maybe you're a younger person without a lot of responsibility that's fine maybe you're an older person with a family and you're counting on that paycheck in a certain way to stay open and to pay your employees even though a lot of people are just not buying anything because they're going away angry is kind of good for the people who need that paycheck right

yeah that's a fair point i guess yeah because if you're going to close it then you're not going to

pay those hours yeah and probably you know i don't know aaron didn't say but let's even just say one out of two people who goes through the drive-thru decides i'm going to get a market fresh sandwich but the other the other half just leave then you're you know you you might not be making a lot of money that day if you're keeping everybody on staff i tend to think i don't know why i'm out

for arby's franchise owners today i tend to think the decision would be because you think there's still some profit to be made as opposed to wanting to also part of that's informed by my general approach to work particularly when i was younger which was i always just wanted to go home every job i had before i was working in radio was like i was i was hoping to god that something would break and they'd be like okay everyone has to go home like and i would lose the hours and i didn't care every minute i was at every job i had before i got on radio was just pure torture to me well

i didn't like working but i did like having that discretionary income you know as a kid like i

didn't make that connection in my mind unfortunately like in other words i wanted to have the money But if you would have just like at any point while I was at Bumpy's Fruit and Yogurt or the plumbing company or, you know, Green Lake Jake's or you name it, any of the places I worked, if you would have been like, you can just go home right now, I'd be like, I'm out of here.

But so was it a lot of pressure from your parents to take these jobs?

No, I mean, I wanted these jobs because I wanted to have money. Yeah, I don't think my parents cared if I had a job or not, but they just they had no money. So if I wanted anything, I needed to earn money. So I would go get these jobs so as to have money. But then as soon as I was at the job, it was the last place I wanted to be.

Yeah, sure. Once you're locked in there, certainly. And how many of those jobs – oh, you also had the container store job as well.

Well, that was for a hot minute in college. And that was – and the problem with that was I had already now at that point worked at KUOW, like as the work-study student. But I'd had a taste of being at a job where a lot of interesting shit was going on and where I was like, you know, like I was never at KUOW like looking at the clock being like, how much longer do I have to be here? was like oh my god this is fascinating people are having interesting conversations and we're recording things and we're writing scripts and it was so cool to me uh to be there that then it really ruined me for going to work at storables and like standing around taking the labels off of things and and slathering them down with goof off it just clicked for me too just like yesterday

riding that bike connected my house to the eagles in a way i didn't realize it was connected geographically the storables i'm walking out on this job here's a nickel for the phone call i made you left and went directly to the kingdom for that al west tiebreaker game huh no no different

sport events but close but close close but no no no there was but here's the thing there was a sporting event related to that as well and this was in the same period of time when i was like using basically lying to profession so this was the nba i don't think it was the finals i think it was the playoffs between the houston rockets and the seattle supersonics and what had happened was again not unlike the kingdom thing i was trying to scam my way into the game by basically like hitting up the media people for the sonics and saying can i come cover this and do a story for npr side note nobody at npr had authorized this and it was like a back and forth thing i was waiting for somebody to call me back and so basically this is all happening like that's a Saturday when this basketball game is going to be going on and it's a Friday when I'm at the I'm at storables and I'm on the phone in the break room I think calling the voicemail at KUOW to see if the guy from the Sonics called so I was very wrapped up in trying to get into this basketball game and then the next day I didn't go to the basketball game I went to my boring ass job instead and that was when my manager lectured me about being on the phone while i was on the clock and there was something about the fact that instead of being at the key arena watching detlef shrimp slay all day i was getting yelled at by my manager that was what something broke

inside of me oh man i was so close with that when i knew it was kuw in sports really no you were you

again like chehalis and shaland you're really not in the ballpark super far off at all so

All right. What do you say we leave it there? We have some sports talk we got to do. I spent some time last week setting up some stuff on the back end with a colleague of ours, Stefan, who I don't know if you know Stefan, but man, we got to shout him out more often. He is always helping us do things like he made it possible for us to do a no point conversion this season. So hopefully everything will go well, but we got to get recording the sports stuff because I'm not 100% sure that it's going to be posted.

I've got to go to Tennessee. Oh, yeah, that's also important. Okay, let's do that. So, yeah, the good news is for people that don't like a no-point conversion that goes three hours, it can't go three hours a day because I have to leave. So, anyway. Great. All right, we'll do that in a minute. In the meantime, to all of you who made it, somebody emailed us the other day, Andrew, about a comment that was made at the very end of the show, and I forget exactly what they said, but it was like, see, even the end of the show matters. Nice. Or something like that. It's like, right on. And we do have at least one person who makes it to the bitter end of this thing. Was it Stefan?

Because that's the only way he'll hear our little shout-out to him. Probably Stefan. I think it was Stefan.

All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. We will be back here tomorrow. I will be checking in from Nashville. And we'll see all of you then. We'll see some of you for the no-point conversion. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Go Mariners! Go the Seattle Mariners! And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. Hey, did you guys hear about that thing about sports? Power out.