Muse

Trying to get our two boys ready to carry them to the golf tournament before practice, right? Twelve cats live across the road. Our door's open, screen's broke, we need to get a new screen door. But the screen's broke, so you come in through the screen, but you can't get back out of it. I turn and look, there's a little kitty cat in our kitchen. So I said, what are you doing in here, little kitty cat? By that time, the cat turns, tries to get back out, that screen won't go that way. Cat starts going, all crazy. And I told our players, we need more dogs. Bo's barking in the back. I have to go shut Bo up. Mel's like, what's going on? I said, it's a cat in the house. Cat in the house? I said, yeah, it's a cat in the house. So I told our players, I tried to let it out the front door. Meow, meow, the cat's still going crazy in there. And I told our players, you need to be more like a dog. We don't need a bunch of cats in here looking in the mirror. I look good. I got my extra bands on. I got my other shoes on. Be a dog. We don't need no meows. We don't need no cats. We need more dogs.

TBTL And a little bit of shame. And my grandpa likes to say, hot diggity dog. As I like to say, I am.

Things are going to start happening to me now.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's like my heart is trying to hug my brain. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

That's a tuna, bro.

Coming to you from Livingston, Tennessee, mere miles from Standing Stone State Park.

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

I don't know if I've ever been to this part of the country before. I have passed briefly through Nashville, but I think this is uncharted territory for me, And my goodness gracious, it is as advertised, just absolutely beautiful out here in rural Tennessee. We've got a beautiful episode of the show in store for you. We've made it to episode 3771 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Despite the fact that I gave the wrong episode number yesterday, I think we have now corrected. We have course corrected, and we're giving you the right episode number. Today is 3-7-7-1, in case you're scoring at home. I'm out here in Tennessee because I'm going to be working on a TV story this week. But it was an interesting adventure getting out here to Tennessee from Portland on my flight. Somebody was removed from the flight. Or I should just say, not removed from the flight, but assisted off of the flight afterwards due to what I suspect is acute inebriation.

Drunk people are so meta.

Like A-C-U-T-E inebriation, not like A space C-U-T-E. I always think it's going to be, I'm going to be acute, acute guy when I get a little drunk, but sometimes it becomes too acute. And by the way, I was not the person that they removed from the airplane. I'm relieved to tell you. so we'll talk about that also driving out here so I stayed in Nashville last night and I'm about a couple hours away from Nashville now in again kind of like very very rural Tennessee and as I was driving on these winding little two lane highways through all kinds of small towns and various sort of backdrops I started to develop a theory about who does and doesn't feel the need to display a Let's Go Brandon flag. I'd like to point out to anybody watching, this is really bunk journalism. This is completely anecdotal on my part, but in the two hours I was able to go from noticing something to developing what I think is a totally coherent worldview on who decides to fly those flags and who doesn't. So we'll get into that. Oh, also, I'm debating returning a piece of clothing that I bought on Instagram because of the interaction that I had with the person who sold me the clothing. So we'll try to talk about that too. Time permitting plus emails and v-mails. And this guy, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depiction. of The Tall Ships. Hey, Romano. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining us right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I realize I've been trying to figure out how to tell you what I want to tell you here without sounding like a total sociopath. No, no, not sociopath. Psychopath, I think is the word I'm looking for there.

And the difference is, I'm trying to remember, because we've talked about this before, there is a difference between a psychopath and a sociopath. And I believe one of them is totally unable to empathize with others.

And I think that's more sociopath. Yeah, I think it's hard to say for me. Mrs. Bean, my speech teacher, would be sad to hear me lisp there. She worked hard on that lisp.

God, she used to get into so many crazy antics, Mrs. Bean. I know. Like, we've all used the hand dryer in the bathroom. How is it that your head is halfway inside it, Mrs. Bean?

It's true. Her husband got so much more attention. No, my speech teacher. Did I ever talk about that? Ugh. So I went to a rural school, you know, kind of a smallish rural school, and I was, like, the only kid or sometimes one of only two kids who would go to speech class. And our speech teacher was this, you know, kind of elderly, crotchety woman who had a tiny little dark office. This is how I remember it, okay? It's, like, kind of, you know, maybe a little bit more cinematic in my mind now. But then you'd just be in class, you know, minding your own business, learning how to read or write or whatever. And then a figure, a short figure would appear at the door and it would be Mrs. Bean. And the teacher would say, Andrew, it's time for your speech. And the class would stop and I would walk out of the classroom with Mrs. Bean and go to her dark little office.

Nothing worse as a little kid in school than feeling somehow like you're different than everybody else. I mean, that's the kind of that's so mortifying when you're that age.

Also, I wonder, like, in my head right now, I was never kind of prepared for it, but I wonder about that. Like, now, if I had a weekly speech class, it would be on my Google Calendar, right? Like, as a kid, I didn't have a Google Calendar or even a day planner for that matter. Did you have a palm pilot? That would come later.

As in, would you write the answers to the quiz on your palm? Yeah. And hope it didn't sweat off because I pulled that move a few times. Yeah.

So, anyway, she would be said to hear me lisp there saying.

Can I just say, I just want to, I know you're trying to go somewhere with this, But let me just mention, I don't think in this day and age, and this is a good thing, they would stop class and say, Andrew, it's time to go to your speech therapy. Yeah. Like, I don't think that they would even describe if you're going to something that's to help you, you know, sort of improve a certain aspect of your abilities as a child. My guess would be that the standard policy now is to no longer. It's sort of like the doctor coming out to the waiting room going, we can see you now about your carbuncle on your hindquarters. Like there's a certain amount of discretion that I think is useful. And I hope anyway, employ that now in most school settings.

Well, do you think that they would still have a Mr. Simmons type of figure who would have all of the kids sign the paddle they got spanked with during the year and then hang it on his wall? I've told you all my Mr. Simmons stories, right? I was recounting some of them to Genevieve this weekend. She's like, that's just, like, abusive, like, some of the stuff that guy did. Anyway, I don't want to go down that. I've told those stories before, but when I think about it, and the older I get, and I think about what Mr. Simmons did to me specifically and to some other people, it's like, wow, that was psych. I mean, that was sociopath behavior, honestly. Like, what he did to us children in sixth grade is astounding. We can talk about that another time. Let's save that for the summer games. Um, I'll make a quiz. What kind of abuses was I subjected to by Mr. Simmons? Um, anyway, I don't know how to tell this story without making it sound like I was blackout drunk last night, which I assure you I was not, or that I don't have some sort of, um, uh, brain chemical imbalance. but man was i psyched this morning when i woke up i've had sort of a you know it's only wednesday but the first two days of this week were a little bit um i've felt a little at what's the word i'm looking for just not settled sort of nothing big um no big deal but like i don't know like i need a haircut really bad my haircut appointment keeps on getting canceled i think i mentioned that

but now i haven't right first got moved because i had a i had a scheduling conflict for us

recording this and then your barbershop canceled on yeah like nine minutes beforehand they said the electricity went out whatever like all i have to do is get a haircut again but it's like i usually i think you need to book it usually about a day or two in advance and i just haven't sat down to do that i have an email list just basically i keep emails marked as unread until i get to them right and i like to stay on top of that but i haven't done that in like three days so i've got like my email is overflowing with things that i need to do mostly small big and small but mostly small And I just sort of feel a little harried and like there isn't much. time for anything yesterday I you know did the two shows with you and then after these messages with Genevieve all of which were very fun by the way I'm not just saying that like I enjoyed all of the work I did yesterday but I just didn't have time to like get into the I don't know a little bit of time to clear some of this stuff off my plate and I think I was just in a mood and I was also like kind of having arguments with people in my head uh when I was playing darts last night um and just kind of like kind of spiraling a little bit but then I did something that I totally forgot about until this morning which was i took it out on my bathroom i cleaned my bathroom from

top oh usually when i take usually when i take my feelings out on my bathroom it's a totally different situation no then i need to go in there and take my feelings out on the bathroom that you

just took your feelings out to restore i'd give it a balance if i were you yeah i lit a match but i don't think that really addressed the problem crack a window um anyway yeah so i mean it was one of those things again i don't want to make it sound like i went into some sort of state and i don't remember doing this of course i remember doing it now but when i woke up this morning i wasn't like oh yeah i cleaned the bathroom last night i just woke up this morning and thought okay i have a little bit more time today i think i can get some more stuff done and then i come downstairs to take a shower and i'm like oh and my little trash can i didn't put my little trash can back it was outside the door and i saw that trash can i was like oh andrew you blessed being you clean that and the bathroom is one of those things where it it was another thing that had been sort of building up it was kind of getting a little bit gunky not terrible it's not disgusting but it's just like one of those things where i knew when i was taking a shower the past week or two like oh this is another thing i gotta take care of and then yesterday the mariners lose and i'm just like god damn it so what what time would that be maybe 10 o'clock ish i'm like oh god and i'm just like and then i keep on playing darts for a second after the mariners lose i'm just like this isn't fun i'm like just clean the bathroom you're awake none of your fun activities seem all that fun right now take care of one of these things it'll make you feel you might as well do

an un if you're not having fun you might as well spend it doing an unfun thing yeah and all i was

doing you know i'm playing darts mostly so i can listen to a podcast anyway right i just have my headphones on anyway so i'm just like get in there get in there we don't need cats we need dogs yeah i didn't you got that dog in you when it comes to cleaning your bathroom yeah and this was not just a like i'll wipe the sink off situation this was a uh top to bottom scrub and man has it really brightened my morning i'm like more excited to face the day today i have i on my

better nights when i've had a few drinks and i know what you're saying you're not it's not like you were out of your mind last night but on a night when i have a couple drinks but not too many drinks i will often kind of go into that mode where i'll just like because i'm probably thinking tomorrow if i wake up with like a mild amount of being hung over and also the house is in disarray that's just going to be too bad feelings so i'll kind of start going around and straightening up and i'll make sure the dishes are in the dishwasher and the coffee is pre-made and then i'll kind of like sometimes i'll get in a mode where i just get everything just so i'll sometimes lay my my outfit out for which is funny because i always wear the same thing a black t-shirt and jeans unless i'm doing something for work which is a blue penguin collared shirt and jeans but like like i'll just get everything kind of dialed in and then when i when you wake up in the morning and you look around and you you have that moment of realizing oh yeah last night me did a good

thing yeah they call it the four beer putters luke i'm pretty sure that's what they call that

because there's the other one which is the six beer putters where you just wake up Like, what planet am I on? Why am I drenched in sweat? They're the six-beard drools, is what they call that. Those are not fun, particularly as I get older. Well, I'm glad that that perked up your morning. Well, first of all, I had an interesting experience heading out here to Tennessee. Really, it was from Seattle because I flew first from Portland to Seattle and then from Seattle to Nashville. First thing was, in my row, Andrew, was a 10 Oh, anybody I know? Here's how you would know Joey Remember I uttered some weird line that I said, that could be a country song? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah And then somebody made it into a really good song for us

Yeah, can I find that?

That's Joey It was really good Hold on, don't hold on, you go ahead, I'll see if I can find it He was flying to Nashville with some folks that he plays music with because there is a music festival going on. I mean, I don't know if you're sitting down, Andrew, but they're having a music festival in Nashville. Wow. I hope you're emotionally prepared for that news. That's going to blow that city away, man. That's going to change everything. I know, God. They should actually think about making that kind of their thing. Maybe if it works out. But there's a music festival in Nashville. I think a number of people on my flight were on their way out there. There was a lot of guitars in the overhead.

and fiddles and the like but anyway uh so joey mentioned he said hey you know you and i wrote a song together and i said oh yeah what song and he goes and then he gave the line and i can't remember

the specific i have it here in fact joey submitted this i don't know if i have his original version but then our our friend uh brian in portland heard it and then added his pedal steel to it if you'll recall and um now we have this song the right way to remember i think the whole thing was The Right Way to Remember the Wrong Kind of Night or something? Here, take it away, boys. The Right Way to Remember the Wrong Kind of Night.

I mean, you get a co-writing credit on this? The Right Way to Remember the wrong kind of night The wrong way to fall in love until the morning light Standing in the shadows after holding you tight The right way to remember The wrong kind of night And it's a full-on song, man. It's two and a half minutes. It's beautiful.

I mean, look out, Ghost of John Prine. That's legit. And by the way, Brian, thank you for throwing in the pedal steel. It's so beautiful. I don't think there's any song that isn't improved by pedal steel. But anyway, so Joey was in my row. Yeah, you're right. I'll tell you, that's generous to say we co-wrote a song. I think I blurted something out, and then Joey did all the hard work. So that was kind of cool to get to run into somebody who's aware of the world of TBTL. But this is where things really got interesting. So I'm sitting in like row 16 or something. And so in front of me, that would be, I believe, row 15, if that's how numbers work. Now, maybe this is a little rude of me, but have you ever had the experience where you can see what somebody in front of you on an airplane is texting? because they have their phone, like their text is set on a larger than normal font?

I know I've definitely tried to spy on people's laptop computers before. I know it's not right, but I've done it. I don't know if I've actually seen a text message, though.

Well, this woman that was sitting in front of me was texting as we were kind of waiting for the plane to fully board and take off, and I could pretty clearly read the font, and she was like, let me just tell you about how I just bought a $70 water bottle. And I was like, okay, I'm intrigued. That seems expensive even for the airport. And she was explaining to her friend that what she had done was she had bought a bottle of wine, presumably white, I guess, and then bought a water bottle and then filled the water bottle with the wine. So she had snuck an extra bottle of wine onto the flight. It's not the worst move. I guess, but I just thought, you know, it's not like the drinks are not prohibitively expensive on a flight. I mean, they're not they're not cheap, but it's not twenty dollars to get a glass of white wine or a cup of white wine on Alaska Airlines flight. I think it's like six bucks or seven bucks. Right. Yeah.

And I wouldn't I wouldn't I'm not the type of person who sneaks food into a movie theater or takes food to the amusement park or whatever. This wouldn't necessarily be my move But if you had a cup that you could pour it into It would be more appealing to me Drinking wine out of a water bottle Doesn't sound like a nice way to drink wine

And it's not like These are dry flights That's the thing I don't understand Anyway so I thought That's an interesting approach You spent $70 to have four cups of wine I guess that you could have had For you know I think less

actually just oh you're saying you're actually spending more money by doing it this way that's

interesting i think probably but anyway i was like all right well you do you and so whatever we take off we're flying flying and at some point so uh her friend who she's with is in the aisle seat this woman is in the middle seat and then there's this uh other and the reason i'm noting where they are because when they arrived when this the woman who'd snuck the wine on and her friend arrived there was a person in the middle seat of their row and she said to the woman hey you know we're together so if you want to move over to the window have it or whatever and they sat down and she seemed even slightly off when she said that which now i realize was she was probably already a bit tuned up because i don't know two and a half hours into the flight i just hear her friend going what do you need what do you need and the woman is trying to speak to her friend and i guess it's incomprehensible because she's like and the woman's going bathroom the the less drunk woman bathroom yeah actually the probably not drunk at all woman i don't want to yeah i don't want to besmirch her good reputation she was like bathroom you need the bathroom and then i just see this woman who's who's drunk sort of rise from the middle seat and it's like a boxer who's like Just been on the mat. like an eight count and you know they know they have to get up or they're gonna get tko'd she would like rise out of the seat she'd get about 60 percent of the way then she would collapse back and back into the seat and then like a few minutes would go by and then she would make another attempt this was her just trying to get out of her seat and get to the restroom and she's like and this was just going on basically for another hour and i'm thinking well this is this woman is now imbibed a lot of alcohol she's not physically able to get to the bathroom this could not this could end not super great i really felt bad for her friend too who was just stuck trying to manage the situation eventually i guess the friend doesn't know what to do or maybe somebody else tipped off the flight attendant but suddenly the flight attendants are there and they're now helping this woman back to the back of the plane to the uh to the restroom i also decided i needed to use the restroom and so i'm walking back there and they're like can you just go to the first class bathroom please and i was like all right don't threaten me with a good time usually up there yeah usually they yell at you if you if you're going from steerage to the first class bathroom it's like a whole situation but um so i was like okay so i go up there and then i notice that they have the like there's a phone that they can plug in that the flight attendants can plug in that's like we're calling the ground right now yeah i noticed they got that going i was kind of surprised that this woman was able to ambulate back to her seat eventually like 45 minutes go by and um and so then uh the the flight lands and i mean it's like we land we get to the whatever the

the jetway and i swear to god it is like i'm looking at my phone i'm just waiting for my service to come back to see how the mariners did and i look up and there's just two police officers man i don't know why anyone wants to mess with those police officers on flights when you're sitting down and they're all tactical geared out they do not i mean these people were very nice actually they were treating it as a medical emergency they were like uh so the the one of the they were dressed as police but they were almost behaving as if they were emts And I thought that was interesting I wonder if it's like Because an EMT usually Is not in tactical gear But I wonder if it's just their police But they also get called out for medical stuff I couldn't quite figure that part out

You're kind of getting close to the whole issue When people need various services And we're sending tactical geared cops And I'm glad that these people were Very kind I know nothing about this situation I'm not trying to act like I do But I think you're getting close to we've heard from listeners who've had family you know mental medical emergencies and they've said please do not send the cops and who shows up but the cops with guns and it's like that's not what

we need right now yeah luckily the and it was there was a i'm going to be consistent here andrew there was there was a male and female cop no that's perfect those are adjectives that's how you describe um and the female cop was the one who was kind of making contact and she was incredibly again she didn't she was not because i don't think it's illegal to be drunk on a flight but basically this is what she said when she showed up she goes hi there um we're we're you know we're here because we heard you're having some medical you're having a bit of a medical difficulty uh with some blood sugar stuff and i was like nope this ain't a low blood this ain't some hypoglycemia and look i mean could it be um it's possible that the person who was texting their friend about how they snuck an entire bottle of wine onto the plane also had a low blood sugar incident unrelated to consuming a massive amount of sugar in the wine but i mean okay i can't rule that out but i can tell you this i've been drunk a lot and i've seen a lot of drunk people and when this woman stood up and as i was watching her in her various states of getting around the plane i was like no this is a lady who just housed a bottle of wine probably had a bunch of cocktails in the airport and is just drunk out of her mind you know um but it was a funny experience because they were treating it like it was and you know again I don't think this woman didn't do anything illegal she didn't hurt anyone she wasn't um argumentative like there was nothing where I thought she should be in quote-unquote more trouble but I just felt like I was in this bizarre Jimmy Stewart rear window kind of situation where like I was literally the only person who had observed this slow speed crash from its initial sort of starting point well i guess her friend too who was yes i guess her friend was before me because her friend presumably saw her by the water bottle and the bottle of wine um so i was like but it was just strange because it was like i definitely knew based on the circumstances and what i had observed with my own eyes i had what i think is a pretty decent theory about what was going on here which again a simple Simple case of somebody getting way too drunk. But then, you know, to have – and then they were, you know, that when we get off the plane, there's like a whole like EMT cart there and stuff. I think they were going to eventually like sort of release this woman into the care of her friend because her friend was going to get her to where she needed to go or something. But anyway, I've never seen that before. I've never seen – I've never been on a plane where they take somebody – again, take sounds like she was in zip ties. She wasn't. i've just never been on a plane where the police are standing one row in front of me trying to

figure out what's going on with someone that really kind of bums me out i don't know just picturing that kind of saddens me and you know like people get in that in that position and clearly like i am not somebody uh who would ever get on a soapbox about people's drinking habits but one thing that i and i'm really you know first thing we tell a story on the show i was think can i relate to that and like this particular type of drunkenness i feel like i've witnessed before and i think often i i don't know anything i mean all i know is what you've told me and i know nothing about this this person or their life but like there's a kind of drunkenness that is accompanied by a certain kind of um in a situation that maybe you're you're actually self-medicating because you're a bit nervous about it and i don't know if that's true or not for her maybe this woman flies every single day of her life but like let's just say that this is one of those people who doesn't drink all maybe doesn't drink all that often and certainly doesn't fly all that often and so is maybe a little bit more anxious than usual doesn't maybe wouldn't even describe it as anxiety but just loves drinking on planes and then it gets on top of her like I sort of not to that's exactly

what I think happened and I think we do have this weird I've talked about on the show before and let me also mention I absolutely and the listeners of this show know the longtime listeners I am the last person I'm the last person who can criticize anyone about questionable decisions related to alcohol um but I do think it's kind of interesting how we have normalized having like a double screwdriver at 7 a.m before your flight because it's the airport and it's like it's it's also like you said it's often people like I bet you that your theory is exactly right I don't think that this this person appeared in all other ways to just be an absolutely normal person you know maybe in their early 50s but we have we have we definitely have embraced this idea that it's like oh if you're flying well you got to get to the airport early you got to have a couple of drinks oh that you want to make it a double for five dollars more it's it's weird that that's just the total norm um again for for a lot of people who i don't think are heavy drinkers in real life it's just like oh if you're traveling i mean you got to have a bloody mary on the flight and also So you've got to have an eye opener at the bar before. It's just that I think that probably contributed to this for this person. But again, that's total guess on my part.

Yeah. And I don't think that I've done like there are other things, too, like you and I have been at events. I don't want to embarrass anybody, but like you and I have been at like TBTL events. I mean, over the years, I'm not even thinking about something very specific right now. But sometimes we'll see listeners who might be especially like kind of amped up before the event because it's fun, right? Like it's like all these people that you're meeting for the first time, but we all feel like a family here. But maybe there's some pre-funking going on. But also there might be a little bit of like kind of like antsiness, you know, or jitters. And so that the drinks go down maybe a little bit easier. And then it just gets on top of you. And I got to say, for whatever it's worth, like I'm I'm glad that I don't I don't think I found myself in that position ever. Like, I don't think ever in my life have I been like I'm nervous to do something or I'm a little bit I'm feeling a little bit amped right now. So I'm going to have a drink to to chill out. Like, for me, it's more like, OK, I got through that thing. Give me a shot in a beer. That sounds great. You know, once it's once it's over or whatever. But as nervous as I sometimes am, like going on stage to do a TBTL or one of my strip reviews. Do we ever talk about that? We probably didn't want to talk about that, but, you know, it's I'm never I'm never tempted to be like, well, if I just have one drink or two drinks, that'll make this next thing easier. It's it doesn't even appeal to me to drink in that fashion.

Yeah. Generally, that's also not if I'm going to have to do anything that feels challenging, either from a performative standpoint or this is just going to be hard to get through. The idea of also being kind of impaired makes me more anxious is just my personal wiring. Although I have very semi-famously in the world of TBTL, probably one of the few times I've done that that I can think of in the realm of like a public event or a TBTL event was, of course, that thing at Busch Garden where we had like a get-together, a TBTL get-together, and I had stopped by the bar in that week and said, hey, we do a podcast. We're going to do a thing here. Can you try to bring a few extra bartenders on for Friday night? And they said, yes. And then, of course, they didn't because they probably assumed I was just having a delusion. And so then the bar was completely overwhelmed. And then I felt really bad because I had sort of summoned all these folks to this thing where no one could really get a drink. It just turned into a massive cluster. And then people were just handing me shots. And then I noticed that after I took a couple shots, I felt less bad about the fact that I had summoned everyone to this place to just basically get stuck. and uh and then uh more of those shots and then i just was kind of sort of a brown rolling brown out memory of singing against all odds on stage with some tens and then just being hustled out the back like i don't know like elvis or something just like uh you know vanessa and a few other

people just like getting me out the back door of the restaurant over you so the paparazzi can't get

a shot. It's maybe more like James Brown. They throw a cloak over me. I throw it off. I try to do another song. They put the cloak back on me. Hustling me out the back of the restaurant so I don't embarrass myself further. And then me getting home. And this is where it really becomes part of the lore. Me trying to open the window on the second floor of the house so that I can throw up out the window and being unsuccessful and then smashing my nose into the middle part of the window and like you know breaking it and injuring it and and having a particular just a an all-around kind of bad night anyway that was tbtl related so i can't say that i've never done it but i don't i'm like you that's just not kind of where i mean i have too i get too much into the celebratory or

the relieved aspect yeah yeah and that's where i meet up is a little bit different than going on stage to do something i've definitely you know tossed a few back with listeners before i have a question i've heard that story you know a bunch it's kind of big lord your business card was a photo of you with that broken nose i think still is which makes no sense by the way i've never given

anyone that business card that i can remember because i actually it's actually sitting on my kitchen counter just one of them is randomly and i look at it and i just remember i think i think i thought this yesterday i was like is that really the image you want to project in the world burbs

right it is i mean it is unique um and i didn't i'm not even saying that it sounded like i was being insincere like i understand that it it's a moment that lives large but here's like i was going to say i have a question about this night that i've never asked before it never ever never occurred to me to ask before but it's a sensitive question it's a bit of a gross question so people should know that i'm about to ask a gross question but it never occurred to me you were about to throw up you threw your head out the window you missed you broke your nose i always thought okay then that's what happened but did you also throw up and break your nose at the same time or did the breaking of the nose stop the other thing i well it's a little foggy can we call vanessa

yes um my guess is what i do remember is we're just doing this now the lady on the flight is gonna eventually come out looking like a eagle scout yeah after i finish with this all she did was get helped off the plane hey you just had low blood sugar that night luke i think okay I'm getting – this is more specific than the listeners probably want or need, but I remember being just in my tighty-whities like I had stripped all my clothing off and had gotten in bed and then had woken up thinking, oh, I might be sick and then tried to open the window and then smashed my nose and then did not successfully get the window open, which by the way, possible lifesaver. because that bedroom was a good 15 feet up in the air.

That's not the window that I would have crawled out on to get onto the roof. This is a window that just overlooks just the ground below. Exactly, but from that room, that same bedroom. Yeah, pretty high up there.

But not out towards that thing where we did the Blue Angel show, but the other direction where there's not anything other than just a straight fall down to the ground, the grass. Like me doing a header out of that window in that condition, that doesn't end well. Um, so I guess this was the slightly lesser of two bad things are going to happen. My guess though, is that yes, I probably, I don't remember, but I just remember Vanessa finding me in like, basically like Bruce Willis in the beginning of the sixth sense.

He's nude, he's wet, he's confused. I've literally only seen the end of that movie and I'm not joking. And it happened when it was still in theaters. I think I told you that recently, didn't I?

Oh, by the way, I think I'm confusing the sixth sense with 12 monkeys. Oh yeah that makes more sense Bruce Willis wakes up and he has no idea what's going on

He's very confused and I think he's naked I don't know what happens at the beginning of The Sixth Sense But I can tell you what happens at the end sort of

Twelve Monkeys is the movie where They're living underground

Bruce Willis was a lion the whole time No yes Twelve Monkeys Is the Terry Gilliam

film where it's kind of post-apocalyptic and you can't really live on the surface of the earth so they're in these terrible places underground but they they send criminals like him up to like

explore and get samples i believe i was like bruce willis in whatever movie he it opens with him just coming to in a completely disheveled and confused state that was me so did i throw up on myself undetermined but my guess would be probably i mean usually that's not the kind of thing that improves from breaking your nose yeah right exactly your body's not usually like oh guess what actually we're fine with our bac being 7.3 now oh you broke your nose cool uh disaster averted

it's like one of those things will dock my head hurts okay here let me smash your hand with this right hammer you won't think about your head anymore i thought maybe you could trick your body

yeah um yeah so that was a uh that was a not great uh 24 hours in my life that was completely and totally uh self-inflicted but uh so there you go maybe i do have more in common with that lady that they helped off the flight than i thought point is it was great to see listener joey and i wish him and his bandmates great great luck uh here at whatever um music thing they're doing in nashville speaking of which andrew and obviously we've got to go to a break we're already like a half hour into the show so i'm in this little airbnb a couple hours outside of nashville now but this was not the plan for today's broadcast I I thought I had kind of come up with a with a sort of a solid plan which was because I landed so late in Nashville last night I think it was probably like 12 30 pushing one so by the time I got my rental car uh oh let me talk about my rental car at some point too but um by the time I got to the hotel it was like probably like 1 30 or something and And so my plan was I'll stay in this hotel that's right by the airport, and then I'll get up on Wednesday morning and I'll do TBTL, and then I've got to do an interview for LiveWire. And then when that's all done, I will take a leisurely drive out to this part of the country that's much closer to where we're filming in the next few days. This is like 20 minutes from where we're filming. But at about 6.30, 7 a.m. this morning, I realized something about my hotel, and that is that it is perched at the exact edge of the runway of bna which is the nashville airport and oh my gosh every time a plane would take off which was about every 25 seconds it would shake and rattle the entire hotel room and so i i was like how like can i like just use my mute button can i um i close the drapes to see if that would help and uh no it was just like it was so loud that it would have been really distracting for us and it would have been a total deal breaker for the live wire interview so if you were not somebody who

records things it sounds like it still would have been very noisy like if you just were trying to sleep like how is this not mentioned i'm i'm actually i think i know the hotel you were at i could be wrong about this it's the sheraton music city sheraton okay i was looking at marriott I thought you were a Bonvoy man

It's called Sheraton Music City Even though it's like a half hour Outside of Nashville

But it looks like a nice hotel But nobody's mentioning in the comments Oh also by the way The walls shake every 14 seconds When an airplane takes off

I think part of the problem And this is where You could say this is a first world problem But they put me in I think one of their nicer nicer rooms meaning it had a big balcony and the problem was that balcony was all sliding glass doors to get out to it and they were very old and like you could hear the wind kind of whistling through them and so if this would have just been a solid wall with a window i don't think it would have been as loud there was a basically a giant one of the walls of the hotel room was basically

totally sliding glass door and a porch or a balcony like yeah but like a two side like it

was a very big balcony with two sliding glass doors and there was none of it was sealed very well none of it was weatherized it was like so it was basically like just having a giant hole in the wall that happened to also face where the airplanes were taking off so my guess is if you were on a different side of the hotel or if you just had a normalish room that just had like a typical wall and a window it wouldn't have i think i was i was excited that they had moved me up to one of their nicer rooms i think just because the hotel was probably kind of empty i was night i was appreciative of that but then in the morning i realized oh this is actually kind of uh from an

acoustic standpoint much worse would it make you laugh if i told you i'm not joking here when you go so i didn't realize that sheridan is part of marriott uh but anyway i'm on the marriott website for this specific hotel and the big headline for this hotel is experience quiet luxury in music city oh my goodness it's as well that is really misleading

i mean maybe the other maybe on the other side of the hotel is like you wouldn't even know it i don't you know i don't know i can only speak to the room i was in that was like really really really uh loud so so i i much like russell wilson trying to secure the mvp in the super bowl i called a couple of audibles and um and through an interception no i uh i decided to just jump in the car and drive out here and do all the recordings from this airbnb which by the way you know me and my super possession andrew well i have a new place that i want to live it's called this airbnb in livingston tennessee it is so cute it's on a farm i'm looking at donkeys right now and rolling hills there's a cave here that you can go visit on the property like it is so bucolic can you send me a picture of a donkey for the show pic yeah i'll go out to the um they're like on the other side of a fence but i'll go i'll go uh say hi to them afterwards and send you a picture of it uh so so i'm actually very happy to be out here but it was a little bit of a last minute switcheroo i'm also glad the wi-fi works because you know i'm kind of in the middle of nowhere and if the wi-fi like there's no cell service out here uh so if the wi-fi wasn't working we would have been in

real trouble oh this is a great connection but also the cell service is going to be a problem in sending a donkey photo i'll get a stock image of a donkey i'm using no i want to i want to make

these donkeys i want to i want to blow these i want to make these donkeys viral so i'll get a picture also i just want to say hi to him now this is but um donkey the other thing and i'll try to keep this under four minutes because again we're getting ever actually you know what let's just take a break because this might take a minute, but I was developing a theory as I was driving out here about Let's Go Brandon Flags that I want to share with you and see if it makes any sense to your brain. So let's take a quick break, and then we will be back with more TBTL in a moment. hey let's thank some daily donors these are the generous folks making today's program possible with their monthly support thanks to edward madsen of milton new york There's a Milton, Washington That's what I was expecting But this is Milton, New York That's where Edward is Thanks, Edward Emily Maurer is in Chicago, Illinois There's a Chicago, Washington But this one is in Illinois, apparently Nope, this is the Illinois one That's where Emily is, thank you Sydney McElroy is in Grosse Pointe Park, Michigan What up, Sydney? Sydney has been a supporter of this show for a long, long time, and we really appreciate you, Sidney. Thank you. Also, Jake Monzingo is in Shoreline, Washington. Oh, you know what that's

near? You know what that's near? That's near the TBTL PO box. Hey, are we almost due for another round of what's in the box? Oh, I should go check. Yeah, somebody who used to work for the Postal Service said that I should check the box a lot because they keep an eye on those things, and if your mail piles up, then you're more likely to have to wait in line to get your larger packages instead of getting the privilege of the little the little key that they'll throw in there so yeah i need to i see so that's why you got stuck

oh maybe in that line maybe it's very possible um well thank you very much jake for keeping tbtl in biz megan pecht is in brooklyn new york thank you megan again i need to get that i need to have that matthew berry new york oh yeah city drop ready to go because we of course always play the pace picante one but as we've pointed out it is kind of dark that they wanted to hang the cook cookie for using salsa that was from new york city and we cut that part off we cut off get a rope but anybody our age who grew up watching pace picante ads they know well pace cut it off too

In later versions of that commercial They either replace that line Or they just stop saying get a rope Can I Can you put 60 seconds on the clock

Yes I have yammered on enough this episode You my friend can do whatever you want So whatever I want Okay good

I was doing After these messages a podcast about TV commercials With my beloved Genevieve yesterday And here was the theme I don't even have to tell you the theme But I actually had a lot of fun with this So I'll tell you, because I had football on the mind, but I did not want to do a football related show. I created a quiz for. genevieve where i'd play for her a commercial and i'd want her to guess why i was playing that commercial based on an nfl team's name so for example maybe i'd play a commercial for i don't know any product like coffee but if it had a bunch of eagles in it the answer would have been philadelphia eagles right um yes uh the buffalo bills i had a bill murray commercial she that was like one of the only ones she didn't get um but in doing this i was looking for a commercial with cowboys for the Dallas Cowboys, which I'm sure you've heard of. They're America's team. So I find a little compilation of various cowboy commercials. Of course, it begins with the Pace Picante one, which again, we all think is kind of dark now, right? These cowboys sitting around a fire and it sounds like one of them's eating a salsa from New Jersey and they're like, actually, I did find a New Jersey one, but also there's one where they say New York City. Yeah, that was another little twist in the story. This one said New Jersey, But they're just like, New Jersey, get a rope And I'm like, okay, I don't want to use that one That's kind of obvious We've talked about that commercial a lot before So what else is in this little compilation? I find another commercial from around the same time That makes the Pace Picante commercial seem woke With a capital W It is amazing As I told Genevieve, the people at What was the name of McCain Legend French Fries Said Hold My Salsa that's the name of these like freezer fries it looks like they have crinkle cut and something else I don't know some national brand of french fries called McCain legend and I'm going to put this at the late 80s early 90s probably more early 90s honestly and it begins with I might even just play this for you it begins with cowboys standing around a man who is on horseback with a full on noose around his neck and he's and you know it's one of those scenes like from like a spaghetti western or something they are about to actually hang this man and then one of the cowboys says hey do you have any last wishes and he says yeah i want some of these french fries what are they called again i switched screens mccain something french fries mccain legend french fries so a woman comes out of like the saloon or something with a big steaming hot plate of these french fries the guy on horseback goes to have his final wish he grabs one of the french fries it's too hot he says yow his horse runs away luke and we see his cowboy boots fall to the ground without him in them as he presumably hangs above us take a listen to this

do you have any last requests play the mccain legend french fries and then they all just enjoy the french fries okay wait a minute it's the guy on the horse

eats a french fry and it's temperature hot it's too good he doesn't even eat it he touches it with his fingers and it's too temperature hot and he goes but this is the sales pitch for french we we can guarantee you one thing these fries are going to be hotter than any other fries that you might buy straight i mean yeah i don't know what the sales pitch is here like it would have been better if they created a scenario in which the guy's enjoyment of the fry yes was his downfall i agree so like where him loving him saying something involuntarily about how much he's enjoying the fry was somehow a command to the horse. I mean, it's still dark. He should have taken a bite of it and been like, yee, and made some loud exclamation of joy. Yes, exactly. You're right. You know, thus bringing his demise about more quickly. This is just like, you know, one of the things that I don't enjoy is eating something that's too temperature hot. Yeah, especially, it looks like these are kind of the

steak, the fry style, which are too thick anyway, and there's no dipping sauce in this. This does not make me want to eat these fries. And that makes me want to live.

And that was the point of the commercial. Wow. Well, thank you, Robert Rowe of Sammamish, Washington, for also supporting that little trip into regrettable TV commercials. Thanks for the support, Robert. Thank you to all of our daily donors for making TBTL possible. We just couldn't do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I don't know if this is really much of a top story, more than just a thought that I was having that then started to just kind of... Do you ever have, like, if you're on a long drive, you're kind of zoning out and then a thought like a grain of sand gets into your brain and then you just start rolling it around like an oyster making a pearl? so I'm out here in in very rural Tennessee and I'm driving on these very rural roads and you know what I didn't hardly see any of were Trump flags or let's go Brandon flags I mean I saw like a couple but considering I drove two hours now I saw American flags everywhere everyone has American flags they have a lot of crosses here like as in there seems to be a thing that's like in this part of Tennessee where you nail like you build this thing out of wood like two by fours or something and you nail it you know you or you bury it in your yard like with you know you dig a hole and put down some cement or something and then you put Christmas lights on it or some kind of illumination I must have seen 50 of those crosses and I don't I've never seen one of those before in that particular setup so that's got to be a thing around here but i didn't see i was expecting it just to be you know house after house with just like flag you know weird punisher blue lives matter flags and just all manner of aesthetically forget the politics just aesthetically terrible flag behavior and there's barely any of it and yet you noted this Andrew when you were like driving out maybe it was when you and Genevieve went to the Grand Canyon or when you drove out to Denver but like you get an hour outside of Seattle and it's like what in the hell is going

yeah people literally want to McCain legend fries the governor you go like 45 minutes out of Seattle Like literal like pickup trucks with messages about killing the governor of Washington over a mask mandate.

Right. And same thing. If you get an hour outside of Portland, it's just like all these dudes rolling coal in their truck with like three flags being, you know, flown from the bed of their truck. it's like so aggressive to the point of like are you okay like mentally are you okay and there was like almost none of that out here and i don't think it's because i've happened upon the a liberal bastion i think this is my theory i think if you live in rural tennessee where the default setting is conservative i mean they're just every single town has like three churches there's like a church or two for every citizen of this part of the world it would appear and again american flags flying My guess would be if I went around and I did a survey, I would find my guess is that this area went goes overwhelmingly red for each and every election. I think that if you live in a place where everyone around you just feels like minded and where the default setting is, yeah, we believe in, you know, faith, freedom and family. You don't have to constantly try to, like, remind everyone that it's your deal. whereas if you live in like kaiser oregon which is like 40 minutes outside of portland you just think that you're under attack from nancy pelosi at all times and so you just have to go wild with all of this external representation of how much you you know want to f joe biden which is a little homoerotic if you really think about it as a sign but okay like i just was that's the only thing i can come up with because i am in like absolute red america and there's like almost no overt trump or anti-biden stuff based on this one drive i did on these series of rural highways and i find that kind of surprising yeah i think you're right and i might even add a twist to that

that it's maybe like so much of like quote-unquote politics for the people who have the giant aggressive flags and aggressive bumper stickers or whatever it's about owning the libs right so much of what they think as politics is really owning the libs it's like it's almost like troll culture really right oh almost like you don't need to you don't need to own anybody you don't need to own your neighbors you don't need to troll your neighbors i'm sure there are plenty of bumper stickers that say you know i'm a gun owner and i vote i'm sure that that again the the area that you're in i'm sure has plenty of signifiers of the politics of the region but it's not this weird aggressive almost murderous vibe like we would roll through these very small towns um i think i I mean, I'm sure I said this to you on the show because I've said it a million different times in a million different ways. But during our road trip, which, by the way, was in January, we were literally in Arizona when January 6th, the attack on the Capitol happened. I mean, it felt it could not have felt like we were in more hostile territory, sort of like Vives and I went up for a helicopter ride, knew that there was some protest going on, came back down. And it sounded like we were in the middle of the Civil War And we spent the rest of the day Glued to NPR as we drove around With the windows down, blasting it So everybody knew where we stood Nancy Pelosi radio, of course, when I say NPR. Anyway, so like I do feel like there's like this this vitriol and hatred that is just like about about really digging in and saying we're going to murder your your liberal governor in these places that might be a little bit more like you say, like kind of on the fringes of places like Seattle and Portland.

which i think also speaks to this just being a position of fear like an insecurity because out here i don't get the sense and again this is based on my drive out here so it is not it is in fact some bunk journalism but i don't think anybody out here is that insecure about their conservatism their values the whatever like they're just kind of like this is just what they're doing presumably but you get these you get these other dudes mostly that are in the kind of yeah the periphery of these bigger cities and in these states that might go blue for president can consistently and then it's just like they're so it's like it's like stop being so insecure bro like well you know why are you that what are you so scared of why does it why is your whole personality just trying to let me know that you yeah like want to you know kill jay insley or whatever the deal is like that just that just comes off as like literally the most insecure

thing you could do to me one of and i think i've said this i mean honestly one of the most shocking things i'd seen in my life and this is january 5th by the way because i remember we got to arizona the day before mail maybe january 4th but almost as soon as we crossed uh the line into arizona one of the first things we saw was we were behind a pickup truck and the the truck hitch luke you know it was like a decorative truck hitch was one of those symbols of like the okay symbol but turned upside down like straight up just like on the back of the truck just letting people know we are white supremacists yeah it's like white supremacy it's just like it's not it's not hidden it's not i mean it's sort of it's kind of a wink and a nod because you got to know what that means but like we all know what that means because it's been in the newspapers like you know remember military cadets were accused of making it in a famous photo and they denied it but like just straight up on the back of the truck it doesn't have to be like hey i'm here's a bumper sticker saying who i'm gonna vote for a bumper sticker even just saying like i like arizona and implying the whiteness of arizona or whatever which doesn't really make sense um strike that from the record but i'm just saying that like you straight up have to put on your truck a white power symbol that was one of the first things we saw and it was this giant gun shop and it just like it kind of gave us chills i mean we're as snowflakey as you can get but again i couldn't i can't stress enough like from our extreme bubble in seattle which i realize is an extreme bubble to just like casual white power symbols on the back of people's transportation choices is just astounding

well it's like i think the mentality there is so what are you going to do about it right and the reason that and and and you know what probably nothing because you're probably not carrying three sidearms at all times which is i mean one of the things that also really like there is one part of the political divide that feels very comfortable expressing their views in extremely i would say aggressive uh ways because they're also the side of the political argument that's carrying killing machines on their hip often in public and as i think this was on chris's podcast they were talking about this like imagine you're at a dinner party and you're just having kind of like a a good natured debate about some topic about politics or whatever and people have different views but everyone's kind of talking and you're just chatting and then imagine someone just sits down at the table and they've just got a loaded gun in their hand and they get in on the argument that is a different kind of conversation and it's no longer a conversation it's asymmetric because somebody could kill everyone else so as you're not going to disagree with that person in the same way and you just got people rolling around this country now who are armed to the teeth as they would say in fear and loathing in las vegas and so they don't care like you're gonna you might come up to them and say hey are you really a white supremacist is that really what you're trying to say to the world and they probably say hell yeah what are you gonna do about it and then pat their hip and then you be like get back in the subaru and drive back to

seattle yeah be provocative right because if you buy a gun you probably want to use a gun Like, nobody buys anything they don't want to use. Or at least feel powerful with it. Or at least feel powerful, yeah.

At least have it be the argument settler in conversations, were those to ever come up, you know, were someone to ever approach you and actually want to have it out with you, it's certainly, you feel better about being in the argument because you've got the ultimate say, and it's called this loaded weapon that you've brought with you. I mean, it's just like, again, I swear to God, it's so insecure. It is so like this idea that you need to be low. You need to be strapped at all times because the world is out for you and you live in.

You know, I don't want to pick a city because we probably have a listener there and it's going to sound like I'm being mean to those people. But like there now, meanwhile, the irony is if you live in certain parts of America, particularly in certain urban environments where there is a lot of violence, which I think is obviously related to racism and the systems in this country, there are probably people in this country where there is a lot of physical danger around a lot. and those people often maybe have guns for protection that ain't the case in some like hour and a half ex-urban community where some guy's walking around with three guns on him so that he can take down the quote-unquote bad guys at any time while he's at the wilco feed store like it's just it's it's this it's just such an insecure worldview that like you're in so much danger at all times that you just have to be ready to like launch a full-scale war it's like just i don't know i it's it's it's this attempt at uh at um representing strength that to me just

feels like absolute weakness yeah here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female all right i didn't get to tell you about my

instagram clothing dilemma but maybe we can talk about that on tomorrow's show yeah that sounds

good i'm actually interested in hearing about it you had it on the show sheet the past couple of days and i'm curious about the details of that legitimately the dilemma remains so it's an evergreen until i decide what i'm gonna do with this piece of clothing i'm gonna play a voicemail here that i have not listened to yet but i believe this is from our friend lee now i'm guessing i know of one listener named lee and he is also i think he's proud to say it i don't think i'm bicycle lee bicycle lee exactly isn't he president of the um yeah cascade cycling club or cycling club and he was by the way he sent me a very nice email he was very excited about um the fact that i rode a bike on monday night and i enjoyed it in fact as i was telling that story you know because it was like a it was a real kind of last mile problem right like public transportation wouldn't really get me where i was going because it was not far away but it was kind of an awkward route it would have taken me a long time and so i actually used one of those you know lime bicycles that you can rent on the sidewalk and i was just astounded that i hadn't had a successful experience with them sooner because it really made it so easy to get where I was going and I was so impressed with that and so Lee sent me a very encouraging email about that with some other options I could look into but then I also saw this morning we have this voicemail which is related to a topic that you were talking about on Monday which is podium microphones let's take a listen to this

hey Luke and Andrew this is listener Lee just want to know want to let you know I'm feeling super served by podium mic talk because of your previous podium mic talk when i had to speak in front of a large group i went and had a one-on-one conversation with the engineer let him know my nervousness and i put my uh self in his hand everything worked out great but without your mic talk i wouldn't have known to talk to him and been nervous the whole time when i was on stage

power up that's good advice right there like and i don't know if you said that explicitly but talk to the person ahead of time let them know your situation see if they have any advice for you because you might have an engineer who's running that mic really hot so you don't have to get close to it you might have somebody who wants you to get closer to it right i i'm i'm going to

assume that that means that lee went with just using the kind of wand microphone that is affixed to the uh to the podium or the lectern yeah that's what i'm picturing too yeah i mean i i should probably i should probably just like learn how to deal with that and just like be make myself more comfortable just you know with not being right up on the microphone because of course in that case there's a few feet maybe a couple feet between where your mouth is and where the microphone is and you've got to just trust that the person running the sound is handling which of course they probably are like 99.99 of the time but like i'm just so that is such a like as we talked about on the show the other day that is such a scary feeling for me maybe scary is overstating it but such a bad feeling to be standing on stage and trying to talk and not really sure if people are hearing you and then you get down close to the mic and then they turn the volume up and then it's like too loud so i always just but the problem with my my handheld situation because i've always got a cordless handheld microphone is that then if i'm trying to do anything involving like a script or paperwork or i'm trying to look through things i'm like i'm using one hand the the whole reason they invented those things is so you have your hands free um so i'm sort of trading one problem for a different problem i'm glad it worked out for lee i like to beatbox into

a lavalier mike that's my special skill um we were talking a lot about it's another one i don't like by the way yeah yeah i can't i don't know if i've forget it worn one but i've had to use them as like an engineer myself before like for tv things that i worked on in college and i

I hate those microphones so much.

Now, I use them constantly. I mean, we use them for TV, but that's different because they just, you know, it's the default set. It's never not been the case on one of these CBS stories. I mean, they have a sound person, and that sound person fixes everybody up with these lavalier mics, and they hide them, and there's a battery pack on your back. But then you're just talking to somebody, and it's just being recorded. That's one thing. But if I'm, like, standing on a stage and I'm trying to talk, I also think I don't know what to do with my hands, just generally. So having a mic in one hand kind of gives me a feeling of like, well, this hand is at least accounted for when it's like if I if I have a lavalier and both of my hands are free and I'm standing on a stage, I just feel like I'm in a TED talk that no one wanted to come to.

Well, even with my TV experience with it was, it was unnecessary for, I know that it's a standard thing for TV, but I was working on like a, like whatever the local PBS station was, I was working on like their week, like their Friday news roundup, kind of like a panel situation. Was this in New Hampshire? I was in Kent in Ohio, something I did. I was a student, and I think it was taped on our campus, but it was broadcast, you know, it was very low level stuff. But like just as the guy who would run audio sometimes, like I hated it so much. I just put microphones on the table, like get a microphone that doesn't look terrible. It's not going to totally ruin the shot. You can get better microphones, but like people just like they're in different places on their bodies. There's so much rustling. You got to bring one down when the other person's talking because the other person's rustling around too much. Then they go to talk. So you got to hurry up and jam it back up. Like I just bring back some bad memories.

I will tell you that there are, there have been moments when I'm doing TV stories where the person that I'm interviewing is saying something that's really like emotional. And you're just, I mean, you're listening as the interviewer for like, okay, what, what will be useful in the story, you know, in the edited version of this story? And you're kind of listening. And sometimes someone will be saying something that's really like, I'm like, okay, this is, this is perfect. This will be really great. And then just out of emotion or something, they'll like pat their own chest. oh yeah it was like hit the microphone and i'm just like well yeah that's gone that's and they

that's not going to be usable for for something like that that is pre-tape like this show that i worked on wasn't live but it was shot like it was live you know what i mean like it was in like with the director chair and the switching it was studio cameras and like that whole situation like you can picture on tv it was actually that that part was kind of fun to learn about um it really really ingrained in me though that i wanted to work in radio and not television no joke um it's just harder and you can just do so much more with so fewer people with radio but um i was gonna say when you're on a network shoot like that for a feature piece they also must be running the audio for both mics into separate channels of course they are so like if you're making a rustling noise while your interviewee is saying something poignant like you're not gonna ruin that because that just won't make it into the mix because you can separate them out that's absolutely true um

because you know the sound person will also just they'll have that they'll have some kind of mixer on their hip that's got a bunch of different channels so that's definitely the case but then i guess this is wow this is really not an interesting place to take it but i don't know when that actually audio adjustment would get made because i don't think that i've never talked to the engineer about like because the engineer doesn't pre-edit anything they just upload these files to some kind of thing and then they get downloaded to the maybe the editor in new york actually gets separate audio tracks um that would probably make sense somebody's probably

mixing that out later you're probably seeing those earlier just rough up i'm just so relieved

that none of that is my responsibility because it would just be a disaster like my documentary i made where i shot no b-roll and also the audio was jacked for like a good quarter of the movie

I got to say, like, I, you know me, I love, I love troubleshooting and I love messing around with audio. And so like, when I was in New Hampshire, it wasn't my job to do this. But like, sometimes people would come and be like, hey, this audio is messed up. What can you do to save it? And it's like, I didn't have great tools to save it. You know, you like you do what you can with a with a pretty beefy EQ and a notch filter or whatever. But like, like my friend Josh, who was really good at getting people to say all kinds of things, was able to get them to say all kinds of things because he was so casual with his microphone.

He wasn't getting it in their face. Like like for me, I wouldn't get anybody to say anything interesting. But boy, would it be clear? You know, I don't. Well, that was totally I'm not saying that I was when I was in radio, like, you know, reporting that I was getting the greatest tape. But that was I was 100 percent on the Josh scale. like my whole move was shotgun microphone and like dat recorder or eventually i guess digital recorder in one hand i'm holding both things in one hand so the shotgun mic is super cash i'm not wearing headphones this is just like this would flunk you out of radio academy day one it's like the worst but you're You're trying to be personable, though, and you're trying to make them not feel uncomfortable with all of this, like, Ghostbusters-looking equipment.

It's like I'm trying to—I'm hoping that they don't even realize that it's happened. Like, when Frank Geary came storming out of Disney Hall to yell at me about doing a story about how Disney Hall was too shiny, this was many, many years ago, you know, that building is really unique. but they had a part of it where the metal was creating like a parabolic effect that was like it was basically creating like a parabolic laser that was shooting across the street and heating people's apartments up to like 200 degrees so they had to grind down part of Disney Hall's exterior and I'm standing out there and Frank Geary just comes running out and he's like what the he's just like swearing at me and he's so mad and I'm just like recording the whole thing which you have to get permission so then I was like well can I ask you some questions about this and he was like no and then i was like i don't want to talk about it and i was like well can i ask you a question about why you don't want to talk about it and he was like all right and then he like did a short interview with me which it was only because i just had this casually holding the shotgun microphone like it wasn't a thing i think that i was able to get at least 14 seconds

of usable tape from him i know he said this on this show before too but it would always astound me if i was like doing a either with a reporter or myself doing like a uh like a vox pop situation where you're going around interviewing people at the fair or whatever, just trying to get various voices or whatever, and you talk to someone like, hey, what brought you to the fair? You come here often, and you get your tape, and then they say, what TV station is this going to be on? And you're like, you really think a microphone is a camera, don't you? I mean, maybe people are more savvy now, but I do think that people are just like, oh, the news. And if you have any kind of equipment that is more than a smartphone, they're just like, oh, and when can I watch this? I'm like, well, back to my comments on Nancy Pelosi radio. That's where you can watch this.

You know, I'll get to test my theory on how much more hashtag chill folks in this part of Tennessee are around the media, as it were, in the next few days. Because we're going to be out filming. And I guess we'll see what kind of attention we get, right? Yeah, that's a fun story. You're doing the Marbles story, right? Marbles? Yeah, exactly. There's this big Marbles tournament on Saturday. But we're doing some interviews before Saturday. But my guess is that that is an event that is so people are just there to have a good time. And it's like if I'm at a Trump rally and I'm with CBS TV, that's going to draw a certain kind of attention. I don't think a marbles tournament will get the same attention, but I guess we'll find out. I mean, we've had over the last couple of years, I've definitely noticed that we'll get some shit if we're in public. You know, people will come up. Which one are you with? And we'll say CBS. And then you can just see them debating If they want to try to make a snide comment Or something

I don't think that's going to happen here

I am holding out a lot of hope For, I guess I'm technically In what's called Hillham, Tennessee Livingston is the big town Where the grocery store is But I have really high hopes For Hillham, Tennessee and Standing Stone State Park I think I'm going to like The people out here

Hey, how about this? How about we go out with the full version of the right way to remember the wrong kind of night. So we can play the entire thing. Do you think Spotify will shut us down? And Spotify can shut the whole thing down and then we can blame Joey in a little bit of blame.

Great. We'll go out with that. Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Till then, have a great Wednesday. Go Mariners. And please remember, I'm not too tall. And good luck to all.

I'm holding you tight The right way to remember The wrong kind of night You can tell me that it's over But it didn't really last that long I've gotten used to waking up And finding everything is gone Cause love's just a little moment We both try to stay away Right or wrong, sometimes you take it Just to watch it all decay. The right way to remember the wrong kind of night. The wrong way to fall in love until the morning light. Standing in the shadows after holding you tight. The right way to remember the wrong kind of night. It's like sailing through the ocean Through water deep and wide Weathering the wind and rain To find nothing on the other side Lost in your arms Like the embrace of a storm Waking in the morning to find your sails have all been torn. The right way to remember the wrong kind of night. The wrong way to fall in love till the morning light. Standing in the shadows, holding me tight. The right way to remember the wrong kind of night. Wow, right? You are legit crazy. You are losing your malleables. Power out.