Muse

I'm watching Seinfeld and I'm like, he does great of those. How can I do those if I'm going to be a comedian or a writer? I don't even know how to write. Or a storyteller. I don't even know how to do stories that funny. Only there's no white one. Seinfeld, he does really good jokes and I can't do that much jokes because nobody laughs at me. And I need someone to tweet me. We need to copy him. So you need to print it off so I can do each word at a time. And I need to memorize that so I can do each word at a time. He does great of those. How can I do those if I'm going to be a comedian or a writer? I don't even know how to write. TVTL!

i love these guys they make funny with their mouths well i'll tell you one thing i'm not eating taco john's that's spicy stuff i think the awkward silence is the best bits and especially those kind of related to the obvious sexual tension between luke and andrew and i think that that's a really important thing that you need to keep in the show if there's a better use for the internet

I haven't found it.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Be careful, though. It's spicy. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Early bird gets the worm, but who wants to live on worms?

coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon we're looking at another gorgeous gorgeous, gorgeous day oh ma, pa, it's just beautiful I stepped out on this tiny balcony that I have which by the way is like it's covered in some kind of green moss-like growth now because my neighbors upstairs who have I guess a bunch of plants on their balcony. They love to just water their plants every day, which is fine. I mean, I'm happy for the plants, but it just means that there's like a kind of steady stream of water that then goes down and like lands on my balcony and then covers it in water. And then it turns into some kind of a weird green substance. Maybe what I could do is just put my own plants out there and then they get free watering from my neighbor's plants. Anyway, I was out on that balcony this morning scummy though it may be and it was cold this morning like chilly so I put on a little uh running shirt sweatshirt type deal and got out there on my jog and um then I was roasting I saw uh some kind of uh you know meme the other day that was two pictures of um Keenan Thompson from uh Saturday Night Live and it was like this time of year me in the morning and he's like in a suit looking all happy and there's like me in the afternoon he's in the same suit he's pouring sweat. I believe that's the time of year that we find ourselves in. The time of TBTL we find ourselves in is episode 3784 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. There was a quite entertaining Seahawks-Detroit Lions football game yesterday. Lots of points scored. Lots of points scored. And yet I think the most interesting part of the game was when they had to cart one of the players off because he was dealing with stomach trubs. What causes diarrhea? It is one of the greatest mysteries in the scientific world. We'll get into that. Plus, that wasn't even the most interesting sports moment over the weekend. The most interesting sports moment involved alleged cheating at a walleye tournament

That's a tuna, bro!

in the Midwest. And it had me looking into the rules around fishing tournaments and the ways in which people try to cheat. And it's fascinating. It is weird. It is beautiful. It has a plot that goes in fascinating directions. They give people lie detector tests at the end of these fishing tournaments to make sure they didn't cheat. There's a lawsuit out in the New York State region where someone says they did catch the fish, but they were too drunk to take the lie detector.

Drunk people are so mellow.

And so the results should be thrown out. Anyway, we'll talk about all of that, plus emails and V-mails. And this guy, the longest-running Cobra of the show, may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He had an adventurous weekend visiting with some kitty cats.

A cat is an angel that poops in a box.

He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now.

morning my friend good morning luke the problem with having a news alert out on your own name when you're not actually out there making news is you get some shocking results sometimes i'm just you're doing your intro i'm blasting away some emails here as my dad would say clearing out the old inbox that was collecting cobwebs over the weekend and uh i just stumbled upon my own obituary well it's not my obituary but it's an obituary for an andrew walsh he's got a slightly different middle name than me but it's always just uh it's a it it cools things off quickly in the morning when you come across it says oh news alert for andrew walsh and you click on it and it's an obit for andrew walsh and you're just like okay this is i need to maybe disable the maybe disable the until i get a job where i need to actually see what news i'm making

Do you feel like this Andrew Walsh lived a better life than you did? What can you glean from the obituary?

Died too young, older than me, but too young, I would say. And I'm getting a good Midwestern vibes from this guy as well. And, of course, I like to think that I give out some good Midwestern vibes sometimes as well. So there are some similarities.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like it could be the plot of a movie somehow. A classic Ben Affleck sliding doors type situation Where you see the Andrew Walsh you could have been And then you decide to be a better Andrew Walsh or something

Yeah, or somebody goes around chasing all of the obits that is their name Yeah, there's some mystery tied up in it

I've told this story many times, including recently on this show But I had this idea for a book I entered this novel writing contest Back when I was in college and had, what do they call it? Ambition. Hair.

I was going to say hair.

And chutzpah and broad-based appeal. And it was a contest where you have to try to write a book over the Labor Day weekend. And, you know, my big idea was that it would be a guy whose name was very close to Frank Sinatra's. And when the day Frank Sinatra dies, they accidentally print this guy's obit. Because a lot of media organizations have obituaries on file. Including the Associated Press So the person just hits the wrong Like it's a keystroke error And then this guy's life goes into disarray And he's also a bad person at the beginning of the book And then becomes a good person by the end

So this is kind of in that I forgot that you actually wrote that I remember you saying that it was an idea But you did have to do it

No I wrote it but The problem was I had no idea How to pace myself Or think about the flow Of the book a book you know in quotes here i don't know probably that ended up being 50 pages or something or whatever first problem was i decided to smoke a pipe while i was doing this in my apartment on capitol hill and i don't mean like a like a bong i mean like a like i thought i was um you know c.s lewis or something like i got a pipe which was not really my deal filled it with tobacco this just seemed writerly to me in some way i don't even know how to respond to that i know dude i know i get it i hear i hear what it sounds like as i'm saying it out loud i'm just sitting in my apartment on 17th and east howell just keeping the cherry going on this pipe as i type away on my like apple whatever like early early apple macintosh laptop that i got from the

university of washington bookstore was it the rounded kind with the big splashes of orange on it somewhere remember they look like before that believe it or not i'm talking like the

finest of 1995 technology or something and it was one of those things where apple i think wisely by the way offered if you could buy one of their computers for a slight discount if you bought it through the bookstore because it was like we want to equip students with this but what they really did was got me locked in into an entire lifestyle that is now dominated of apple products of apple products it's amazing is it not i mean this is of course pre-iphone pre any of that stuff but it worked and they've made thousands of dollars off of me since then yeah that is amazing

and that it you want to talk about you want to talk about a classic ben affleck sliding doors why are we saying classic ben affleck sliding because i don't think he's in that movie but

every time it comes up every time he comes up for many years i would say that ben affleck movie sliding doors not even realizing that he's not in the film i didn't i didn't i wasn't sure if it was

a if that was a pop culture reference of some other famous character thinking that he was in that movie anyway um no just this famous character as in me famous ben affleck vehicle sliding doors yeah i mean me too i'm so locked into my my pc and a pc leads to sort of well maybe it was my choice to get an android phone that really locked me in but i mean it's just at some point in 24

2014, when I took a job down in L.A., I think I mentioned this on the show recently, I had to switch over to use a company laptop that was a Mac, which meant a totally different audio, a totally different operating system, obviously, but then a different piece of audio software as well. I've been using the same, I mean, different versions of it as it upgrades over the years, but I have been using the same core piece of audio editing software, which is now called Adobe Audition, since it was called CoolEdit in 1999. That is how I remember CoolEdit, the little headphone logo. Yes, that's right. It did. And this is the same thing. It's Luke. It's just evolved and evolved. And at some point it was bought by Adobe. It's a very powerful. I think it's still looked down upon people who use Avid, which would – wait, not Avid. Yeah, is Avid the big one that's the big competitor that gets the Mac-based? Most professionals use it. I think I'm – no, that's video. Yeah, I was going to say Avid's more of his video program. Yeah, Pro Tools, I think, is what it is. And people who use Pro Tools, I think, look down at Adobe Audition because it used to be called Cool Edit and wasn't – was maybe a little bit more consumed. It was headphones. It was a Soundwave. It was a wave file wearing headphones, right? I don't remember exactly. I mean, I only get a vague recollection of seeing that on a desktop.

It feels like it was one click over from the GoDaddy logo.

Probably here. You look that up. Cool edit logo. I'm not seeing it. I don't think it was a face. Like, I'm not seeing that.

Well, no, I thought it was just, you know what? It might have been, this is, we're taking this to the, and I'm to blame for this. We're taking it to the absolute least interesting part of this.

So keep going. You might be thinking of a different logo as I look back at these. But any whoozles. There was a period when I was in L.A. I mean, I talk about being somewhat overwhelmed by, you know, having to be the head producer in a brand new news market. That is the second biggest market. Like there are just a lot of just professional challenges. And then, by the way, you have to do all of this in a brand new operating system with a brand new piece of audio software that is, you know, complicated, not not unknowable for me or not unlearnable. But it was just like, it's like whatever your most challenging task is, but then you have to do it all with your opposite hand. You know what I mean? It was just like nothing was easy during that period. And boy, that's why I quit. I said, I'm sorry if I can't use Bill Gates' software, then I'm out of here. And I stormed off. And I was unemployed for quite some time.

You're a man of principle, Andrew, and also a man who doesn't like being hollered at at editorial meetings.

That is definitely, or being, yeah, not quite hollered at, just eye-rolled at, but anyway. By the way, it's audacity is what I was thinking. Oh, yeah, and that was the freeware one, I think, yeah.

Apologies mostly to Hollywood Mike and other people that work professionally in the audio editing industry who are yelling at their phones, it's audacity. It's audacity.

You have the audacity to mess that up.

This is where I would make my audacity of hope joke that I like to make usually around any topic like this. My point was I did write the story of this guy, Frank Sinclair, who has his life upended the day Frank Sinatra dies. I wrote it, but the problem is of the 50 pages, about 30 of it is his mother's origin story working at a diner in North Carolina that was famous for its okra.

Had you had fried okra recently on a trip to the—

I still haven't. The Southeast? I don't think I've ever had it in my life. I think I was channeling. I don't even know what Southern author I was channeling. Like, it made no sense. And it was like, that was not really where 60% of the pages needed to be.

Right.

So I wrote this thing, but, and you know what? Well, I don't have that computer. God, that was. Yeah. This is an argument. this is the difference between how i think our sense of shame works andrew yours and mine whereas you've actively destroyed old projects of yours because of just kind of being embarrassed i would just have the thought dang i wish i still had that computer because if you could find a way to turn it on and get that author it'd be kind of funny to see how bad that story really was or i could call up anchor publishing in british columbia which was the people that ran the competition and see if they like keep I mean that would be insane for them to keep all of the submissions that would be so many so many bad manuscripts over the years but I'd be curious to see just

how truly awful this thing was I had an intrusive thought yesterday as I was washing out a pot that I had used to cook something in and let me tell you about this pot Luke I got it a garage sale a few weeks back and it's a nice pot it's a Calphalon pot it was a garage sale day in a nearby neighborhood broadview i believe and so some of those houses around yeah that's real farting through silk exactly we got a bunch of really good classic um tupperware like a tupperware nesting set somebody even said we said hey we gotta

Tupperware nesting set at some rich ladies house and they were like oh my god is it the fall color set we're like yes it is the autumn color set how did you know that they're like that's the one that the rich ladies have I was like okay well we also have the um the this Calphalon pot that we got for like a steel um you know it's a good brand but as I'm washing it and it's the only Calphalon I've only I've ever owned I am transported back to my um broadcast class that I was taking back in the early 2000s where i had to make an advertisement for a set of calphalon pans i'd never heard of calphalon before that but the assignment that our professor gave us was you need to make a radio commercial probably a 16 a 30 second radio commercial for calphalon and um i know like i'm looking around my office right now i know that i've got a couple of like carts that's an old like it looks like an eight track tape for those who don't know and we used it in the radio industry back before everything went digital and I got a couple of carts with my name on it around here somewhere and first of all I don't really have a way of playing them anyway I mean to ever recover this audio I'd have to get a cart machine and somehow digitize it but aside from and I've always kept them and I've moved them a hundred times now as I've moved apartments and houses and it wasn't until last night as I was scrubbing that pot that I thought just throw those stupid things away even if anybody finds the technology the world does not need to hear these embarrassing ads that i made when i was like 19 years old the this world needs to hear no the world of tbtl like

you're not just a you're not a person who works in a totally unrelated industry uh who has some you know what i mean like it's not like you uh are an airline pilot but you recorded a calphalon ad when you were in college you work on a show that is mostly based on us reminiscing about shit we've done that is an audio medium that would be like perfect content for us i know but it hurts

it hurts to think about i don't know i just remember being very embarrassing just like you know just like that the same reason i threw away those notebooks and i was like maybe i just start throwing everything away yet as i mentioned the other day i can't find my fletch paperbacks at some point i decided i'm going to throw away my fletch paperbacks now i don't have them and fletch as having a renaissance so maybe i should well things away okay listen uh you're you're sort of

divesting yourself of various things but you're also it sounds like adding to the welsh has household here what happened with your weekend visit to see this cat that y'all might be uh like

adopting or whatever the terminology is yeah so i think i mentioned it very very briefly right on Friday show that you snuck it in yeah with um so we had kind of made it known to some friends that we were in the market for a kitten at some point um and but we also weren't forcing it too much you know what I mean we weren't it's just like let's see like kind of what comes to us if we put this out in the universe well some friends of ours have who work as vet technicians I think or something here in Seattle have a friend slash colleague slash contact slash confidant I actually don't know the extent of their relationship so i'll just leave it there for now but feel free to speculate uh but uh so a woman who lives down in the tacoma area who is a also works as a vet technician down there but also does a lot of volunteer work with some sort of rescue organization and so we set up a date to meet some kittens because she had two litters available and what she does is she fosters these litters of kittens on behalf of this rescue organization i think it's a rescue organization it's some organization that helps people adopt animals and um and so she said yeah come on down and you know meet all the kittens that we have right now so we get down to this kind of a i mean it's in tacoma but i didn't realize how kind of rural tacoma can be i don't know how well you know the area but it's kind of in the i would say outskirts of tacoma it's kind of a country-ish area and we show up at somebody's kind of large house that's kind of out in the country and then one whole room of her house luke this just just opens a door and there's just so many kittens and cats in there like there's like two adult cats that are in there i can't remember why they were in there and two litters of these cats that are all like you know three four weeks old or whatever and these and i are like okay i you know we knew that if we were heading down there that we were probably picking out a cat to adopt we spent the whole drive down throwing out various possible names for a cat although saying that we wouldn't choose a name obviously until we actually met the the cat of our dreams ourselves but uh we sat down on the floor in this room and this one cat i mean immediately this one cat just crawled up on genevieve and started sniffing her hair and like i'm still like just taking it all in and genevieve is giving me these eyes like this is the one this is the one and it's a siamese looking cat i mean I don't know much about much, honestly. I think when you say a Siamese cat, you're talking about some sort of a purebred, I would assume, kind of cat. I don't think this is a purebred Siamese cat, but it's got all the markings of a Siamese cat, if that makes sense.

I saw a little video on Insta of this, and that was my first thought. I mean, he was like, that looks like it's got some Siamese cat in it. I also am not an expert, but I don't think you're crazy for that theory.

I should probably look it up if this cat, which it is going to be our cat going forward. We have adopted a cat named Bingo. We named the cat Bingo. We were going through a bunch of names on the way down there, and we thought, well, if it looks like a bingo, it could be bingo. And as soon as Genevieve locked onto this cat or this cat locked onto her, I started saying, can we call it bingo? And I think I just started to kind of force the issue. So I really like that. I like it. It seems like it's a real – there were some cats in there that were really playful. There were some cats in there that were very docile, and this cat was just like a lover, just kept going between us, was not comfortable not being on one of our laps. And that's what we really wanted to bring into our house, especially since we have an older cat that we hope will that these two will snuggle together. So in three weeks, we will be bringing Bingo home. But in the meantime, Bingo is growing up a little bit and then going to get the big operation. Oh, they do that? Hard issues. Yeah. I mean, it's just amazing. And that's why, like, I know that people. Wait, they're actually she's getting fixed. Yeah, he is. He's getting fixed. Yeah, he's getting fixed. So. Oh, so. And also, like, I think it's amazing. Like, there are people who just have, like, cats on Craigslist now. And back in the day, you could just get free cats that way. I grew up in the country. You would just drive around until you see a sign that says free kittens, right? Now it sort of seems like a bit of a racket. People are like, oh, yeah, my kid's got me this dog. And now we can't keep it anymore. But you can have it for $500, a quote-unquote rehousing fee.

Rehoming fee. Yeah. Or rehousing fee. Like, come on. I mean, listen, I know when we when we start to talk about the subject of pets and particularly, you know, fostering a pet or pets moving around. I know that it is it's an intense topic to a lot of our listeners for whom this is a very intense world. But I will say that when I was looking for bubbles and was on like the dark web, as I called it, which was like Craigslist, there were so many people that were just like it was struck me as this is a money making opportunity. And I was I understand that there might legitimately there's costs associated with raising young animals. And if you're running a place, you know, whatever it is, there is legitimate cost. But sometimes it just be like rehoming fee for for what to to make it so you don't have to be responsible for this animal anymore that you don't want to be responsible for.

Yeah. And that's what I loved about this situation is it's yes, we're paying some money, but we know exactly what those fees go towards. So, first of all, like this woman who fosters these cats, I don't think I don't think she gets paid to do it. I think it's purely volunteer, this aspect of it, although she doesn't work in the like the vet industry herself. But like it's a very reasonable price. And it is because she is now keeping this cat for three weeks. And it's not to be with the mom. I was mistaken about that because the mom isn't in the picture, I don't think, anymore.

But but it's just to like get the cat absentee cat.

others you know went out for a pack of catnip never came back um but uh anyway but it's because now we've we've picked out bingo and bingo is our cat and we signed all the paperwork and now bingo stays with this woman kelsey for a while until uh bingo is old enough to and big enough really to be sedated and then uh neutered and then get all of his shots while while he's down so they don't have to like kind of do that several times it's like and it's like oh this makes sense yeah this is what we're paying for like this is great and it's legitimate and it makes me feel so good about the process and uh and it's also very reasonable and uh yeah we're really we're really excited i mean i just i look these three weeks are going to go by very slowly i'm afraid um because we're dying to bring bingo home and see how he interacts with bananas we really i mean genevieve's that's her big concern right like bananas has always been a bit of a skittish cat but has been very lovey with us since uh theo died uh which i just realized has not quite been a year we're getting bingo almost at the one year mark which i kind of feels like a long time since theo passed but it's been less than a year but anyway um we bananas feels very comfortable here now with the two of us um and you know we just don't want to do anything that that bananas would would upset her equilibrium right so genevieve is a little concerned about that but i know we'll do it right this cat is such a lovely little boy i think that these two are going to get along and i'm just it's going to be a process and i'm just i can't wait to start that process i can't wait to start seeing them interact and i know there will be moments where professor bananas looks really irritated and probably will take a little swipe or something and then the cat will just think that bananas is playing with them and you know like it'll just and love will bloom i'm very optimistic about this match um the question

that i have andrew is when does the buddy cop film come out bingo and bubbles because that sounds those sound like a couple of a couple of um you know i don't know police detectives that are on each other's nerves but always manage to close the case i'd watch that it is funny i mean

i'm not trying to i'm not trying to erase bubbles here but i actually think professor

bubbles erasure is a real problem andrew on this show i only spend about 89 of the time talking

Bubbles Erasure is when you post 100 tweets of Bubbles and delete two of them. That's what Bubbles Erasure is. That happened yesterday, I think, probably. But anyway, I feel like Professor Bananas needs to be in on this in some way as well, if not a titular character.

I think Professor Bananas is the old wizened, is the supervisor. So Professor Bananas' move is to constantly berate Bubbles and Bingo over their unorthodox ways. I do like that. And it's always just like, I believe Professor Bananas needs to channel a certain Alan Arkin quality.

Yeah, right.

Just like collared shirt, sleeves rolled up, pit stains, just drinking day old black coffee and just over the antics of Bubbles and Bingo.

Yeah. I'm trying to think, though, but for Bubbles and Bingo to be like kind of one of them has to be they have to have opposite personalities. Right. Like, one of them has to be the goofball, the one who's, like, kind of wild and doing things just on the edges of legality.

It feels to me like Bubbles may have called dibs on that.

Yeah, and I'm not really sure Bingo's personality. I mean, Bingo might just want to kind of nap in the car, sort of. I mean, could that be the dynamic? Just kind of like.

But here's the thing, though. Bingo's whole move is just napping, but Bingo is the one that always solves the crime. so bubbles just goes tearing into the warehouse where the drug dealers are like you know running their operation and like and gets you know gets into a whole bunch of trouble and then bingo is just blissfully just conked out in the cop car until the bad guys come running out and then bingo just like opens the door not even realizing it and there's like wax the uh like the main drug dealer on the head and then he's knocked out and then it's like bingo closed the case i have i have

a twist on this too so here's the deal throughout the film the first film obviously this is a series but throughout the first film um you know bingo and i don't know that bingo is going to be a sleepy cat it was a it was he was playing with genevieve a lot and then at one point got tired and crawled over on my lap and fell asleep for a second it was adorable but in the movie bingo who i think should be played by bingo by the way we can talk about that later we can talk about casting down the line but um bingo is always sleeping right always kind of nodding off eyes are closed and when people when bubbles criticizes him for that bingo just says i'm thinking i'm just thinking with my eyes closed right that's his catch that's his whole thing he's thinking with his eyes closed and you just think oh this lazy cat or whatever but then at the end of the movie who do you think really has been thinking and puzzling out the mystery the whole time and has the eureka moment because he really was thinking with his eyes closed. Although it is kind of sus to me that you would make your cat the hero of this movie. Well, I'm just saying you're the one who erased Professor Bananas in the title. I wrote Professor Bananas

probably the most memorable role in the movie, which is annoyed Alan Arkin character. Here's the one thing. Talking about his heartburn.

Here's the one thing that I, I mean, I'm proud, but also sort of bothers me is I know that Professor Bananas is going to get the Oscar for this movie, But not even really for this role But for like kind of a lifetime of being overlooked You know what I mean And this is not Professor Banana's like definitive role But she'll probably get

Sometimes that's how it happens in Hollywood Like you said it's like You know I mean was Professor Banana's incredible in Dog Day Afternoon? Yes It was really scary on set For her too She played a young cop who was terrified of those dogs Dog Day Afternoon this is gonna be honestly i think we we're about to transition out of podcasting and into hollywood screenwriting because this is a pretty decent film yeah all right well congratulations get your pipe out luke we have a lot of writing to do get your pipe out we've got 40 pages about okra in north carolina to focus on all right uh let's take a quick break and then when we come back we will do the top stories i'm really i have i andrew i watched like a 30 minute cell phone video of these guys getting busted cheating at this walleye tournament like i'm talking front to back like i watched it in real time i've pulled some of the audio and it is fascinating so uh I want to talk about that plus DK Metcalf's tum tum. troubles all in a minute here on tbtl all right let's thank some donors of the day who are supporting the program uh this is how this thing happens so many days out of the year today, totaling up to 3,784 events. Angela Barrera is in Corpus Christi, Texas. Is in Corpus Christia a year and a half ago, two years ago? It's lovely down there. Thanks, Angela. What does Corpus mean? Yeah, the body of Christ.

It does mean body of Christ. Interesting.

I think so. I could be wrong about that. I've been wrong before. I know that back in my meat-eating days though the first time I ever had a Whataburger was in Corpus Christi, Texas. And I'll be honest with you. I was there when Dick Cheney shot his hunting partner and we were all just sitting next to the hospital in a field and nothing happened for five days. So instead we decamped to the local bar scene at night. And I think on one of those nights, we then toddled over me and one of the producers to a Whataburger. And it might've been one of the best hamburger experiences of my entire life probably owing to the fact that i was a little tuned up i think when we were in denver

our boy john and i went to lunch and he took me to a famed no that was shake shack was that shake shack that he took me to not what a burger okay sounds good that was also good yeah shake shack

is the one i'm a little bummed that the rise of shake shack has coincided with the drop in me eating so much meat because like when they put a shake shack in uh down like by west lake in seattle there was like a line really every day for it like it's one of those things that's just um sort of people go crazy for it and i guess i probably it's unlikely that i'll ever get to know

what what all the hype is about i do remember it being good because i'm not somebody who goes in for hypes right like i lived in um obviously southern california we were just talking about that and uh what's the huge uh in and out never had an in and out like i'm sure they're good but i'm never like oh this is gonna really change my life i have to wait in this line to get this food but it happened to be convenient it happened to be by where we were staying and i gotta say i kind of get the hype it was a really good burger shake so it sounds like and we need to let me just

keep thanking folks but maybe we'll get into this later is it that you don't like waiting in line for food if there there's if there's a line it's probably not for you i mean that is funny these

and i joke about that all the time because um that's uh from that portlandia sketch about early onset onset grumpiness oh what are you gonna do they actually literally wait standing and eating and waiting line call my sister don't bother she won't pick up anyway um so we do joke about that but i do hate waiting for anything i mean i just don't think that the thing i don't know food moments just annoy me like generally speaking going anywhere where people are like fetishizing it oh you have to have this certain toast that this place sells or you have to have that like if it's convenient and it comes into my life and it's good I'll eat it but like I'm so not interested in like creating these moments where I wait in line because like there's this thing that you have to try you have to try this beignet from this shop it's like is that because

it feels like pressure to you to give them the response that they're looking for you to have basically if they're like this is the best beignet ever then there's a pressure on you to be like it

is i guess i just don't care that much i just i guess i don't like i'm not gonna other people might have that beignet and then think about it a lot for a long time and it really was a special moment for them i'm not trying to make it sound like everybody's doing it just for the gram or the reaction but like whatever is in those people that those moments seem great to you they're just not in me you know like i just don't care right and i wonder also if a little bit of it isn't

that you there's you know some stuff you have some hard nose on various things that are often involved in food that you know other people might be fetishizing because you're not going to want to go in for too much melty cheese or creamy stuff or so that i could see that being a feeling for you of like i'm not going to wait in line to go then be forced to eat this thing that i don't want to eat anyway and then have to have a response it's performative for you sort of

But that wouldn't really apply to the – what did we just say? The burger places down in L.A.? Sure. In and out. In and out. Like, I just think that, like, I was much more excited to get a – I mean, in a certain way, I would fetishize the food at, like, the diners that I would go to to get, like, a Johnny's pastrami or something. So, like, there are foods that, like, get me – and actually, I would sometimes wait in line at – well, various places had long lines. So that's not even true. There were places. But, like, I would sometimes so – wait in line so i could for a few minutes so that i could get a spot at the um at at the actual counter and i could eat by myself but i could navigate it like i i guess i will wait in line for some foods but just like the stuff that like i don't know i i can't explain it yeah you're much

more likely to be enjoying some fairly unremarkable diner food that you can kind of just like eat and read your book or whatever kind of thing as opposed to something that's an event that comes with all this expectation and hype and the kind of stuff that I think you don't generally go in for.

Yeah, I mean, I think Langer's is like, Langer's, for example, is remarkable and people obviously talk about it in a lot of ways, but I guess it was just more of a solo journey for me.

I don't know.

Jane Hanley is in Alexandria, Virginia and is helping us on this, I wouldn't even call it a duo journey, Andrew, because everybody's in on it, really. So this is thousands of people involved in this journey called TBTL. Thank you, Jane. Marcus Hum is in Seattle, Washington. Currently in line at Shake Shack. Grab me one. Do they have a Beyond Shake Shack thing going on, Marcus? Thank you. Also, Cindy, Loudermilk is in Maple Valley, Washington. You know what?

Thank you, Cindy. I just realized they don't have a—I don't think they have a Beyond. They have a mushroom burger at Shake Shack. I remember seeing it and being like, oh, Luke would not be into that.

See, I was talking about your food, hard nose. That's the—I really did myself a disservice by deciding I wasn't going to eat meat very much. And I say very much because, I mean, I'm literally having meat four times a year. There are people who don't identify as vegetarians who have meat four times a year. They just don't eat a lot of it. So I want to make sure I'm not over-describing my vegetarianism. But it was bad planning for me because I don't like mushrooms. And that's so often the thing that is used in lieu of, like, you know, particularly burgers and stuff.

And I would get that, too. I like mushrooms, but I understand if you're replacing, like, a patty with a big mushroom, like, that's a lot. There's a lot of that texture. Do you like eggplant? Because I would think that that texture would be off-putting for you, too.

No, I like eggplant, actually. I really like eggplant. I like it in a lot of, like, you know, Thai dishes and things like that where they'll, you know, kind of saute it up in some kind of real good sauce. Like, I'm into that. Although what I'm going towards more and more now, and thank you, Cindy, for your support. Cindy Laudermilk, Maple Valley. We mentioned that also. Nicholas Lay is in Pottstown, PA. Classic. Baby. I'll tell you what. If you go to a garage sale in Pottstown, I mean, forget your—what was the kind you got? Calphalon. Calphalon. It's Lay Crusade all the way, baby. I mean, it's Pottstown. Face it. Oh, yeah. People are just, like, giving away Les Crusades there in Pottstown, PA. Generally, we've got herself a Les Crusades recently. She's in love with it. Well, you know, I got my daughter, like, a fancy Les Crusades stuff set kind of thing for Christmas one year because she's quite the gourmand now. But then she found, like, the same kind of one at, like, a garage sale, and she's so stoked about it, as she should have been because it was a garage sale find. That's the ultimate, right? If you're in that game, it's like getting a late crusade that, you know, is is basically really cheap, but still usable. But then I was like, well, I mean, how many late crusades does one 28 year old need, Andrew?

Genevieve got hers used and it's a cute little cute little yellow saucepan with a handle. Very classic looking. And I mentioned this on the show a while back. I was thinking about becoming an oatmeal man. I haven't had oatmeal much since I was a kid, but I bought myself like a canister, like a cylinder. of loose oatmeal. What's the famous brand with the old man with the Quaker? Quaker Oats. There you go. I got there. What's the brand with the Quaker on the front of it? Oh, God. It says Rosebud. Anyway, and I poured some into that little Le Creuset saucepan and boiled some water in there. I mean, it is the perfect oatmeal. It was a moment where it's like you it's kind of like you smoking the pipe. You're like if I smoke this pipe, I will be a writer. It was a little bit like if I stand here and stir this oatmeal in this cute Little yellow saucepan I will become an oatmeal eater I only did it that one time though And that was three weeks ago

Thanks also to Ann Vu Right here in Portland, Oregon Thank you for supporting the program I've been seeing Ann's name On the list And I think maybe on Twitter and other places For a long, long time Thanks Ann, appreciate you Thanks to all of our daily donors For keeping TBTL in business hello and welcome to top story i was just saying that i feel like the direction i'm going a little bit with the the meat alternatives is actually away from the fake meat products these days like

When my dad and I were at the house working, one of the nights we decided to kind of grill up some, you know, burger-type stuff or whatever veggie things. And so I just ran down to the grocery store, and they didn't have a great selection of, like—the fanciest version of this, in my experience, is the, like, impossible ground beef that's, like—you know how, like, real high-end ground beef now is for some reason in a plastic square? like a square bag at some point they decided we'll put this in a we'll make a cube of this in a square bag and then you'll know it's grass-fed like that just it somehow transmits

fanciness now at least it does to me i think they're trying to get rid of the um styrofoam right styrofoam wouldn't work well with their brand which i get sure totally so it like very

much but i mean you know when you get to that like all of that all of the like organic the kind of like real nice ground beef kind of stuff that's legitimately made out of cows um and so uh impossible has also they're they're they're doing that and you can get that stuff and you can make it into patties and you can make it pretty good pretty convincing as a burger but they didn't have any of that at this grocery store in the small town near where my house is and so i just got something that was it was organic and it was um i forget exactly what it was but i think it was maybe some like quinoa and something else and i grilled those up my dad's such a sweetheart he'll eat anything so i grilled us a couple of those up and then just like got like put some really nice pickles and lettuce and tomato and condiments on it and i'm telling you it was so good and it was not trying to be a cheeseburger but it was very satisfying and delicious and also i think less engineered i mean the whole thing with these these uh products that are you know uh tastes like meat but are not is that sometimes the the process that those things have to go to to get to that point is pretty it's like is it's pretty intense and i think leaves a lot of them being much much less nutritious for you than than certainly a lot of the other stuff you could be eating so i lost

the thread so what did you actually cook up it wasn't one of those fake it wasn't one of those

thing it was not a fake hamburger burger it was a pre-made kale and uh keen or quinoa and something else patty okay that was my point being that like there is the school of thought and i've kind of subscribed to this for a long time of like hey what's the most burgeriest thing i can get that's not a burger what is it that's got like you know beets in it so that when you fry it it actually looks like there's some blood coming off of it like that sort of verisimilitude Has really been the goal for these companies Like Beyond and Impossible and stuff like that But funnily enough I don't know, five years into this Journey for me, I almost think I'm more going in the direction of like old school Like black bean patty Or something, something that's not Trying to trick you into thinking it's a burger Because they still have not perfected that technology And if you were to look at the List of ingredients and the list of chemicals To make that happen It's sort of a lot Do you eat eggs still? Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, I'm sure I eat a lot of things with eggs in them. I don't have any eggs in my house. Like, I don't really fry up eggs on a Saturday morning, but I'm not avoiding eggs or anything.

I feel like if I were avoiding meat, but I was eating, like, kind of patties like this, I would think I would be putting eggs on all of them. I love putting eggs. Oh, I could get down with that. I love eggs. I love eggs on sandwiches. That was a late-in-life realization that you can put eggs on sandwiches. It changes everything.

Well, the ultimate, then, you need to watch Spanglish because that movie has a sandwich. A sandwich? Is it sandwich or sandwich?

A sandwich is something that lives under the sand, and then if you step on it, it pulls you under. You've got to avoid the sandwiches.

yeah um uh there is a sandwich that adam sandler's character who is i think maybe a chef in the movie but he's always trying to make this one sandwich for himself and it's like it's kind of famous on the internet now because it has all these different layers to it and a fried egg and like the the kind of like he's like charlie brown with the football if i remember right like he keeps trying to make because you know he's got kids and his life is complicated and busy and all he wants to do is like at 11 o'clock at night make this special sandwich for himself and like have a heineken and his sandwich with fried egg on it and he just keeps like not getting to make it for one reason i think finally at the end of the movie he makes a sandwich or whatever but um that thing has a fried egg on it and that is that is like a dream sandwich for me oh god so good bond me with an

egg on it oh so good all right we got some top stories to get into i'm just hungry obviously and I'm holding up the show.

I thought it was kind of interesting yesterday what ended up happening with the Seahawks receiver, DK Metcalf, because he was playing a really good game. I think he had 149 yards. um through the air which is definitely a high for this season for him and i think in the top five performances he's ever had and not to get into the footballness of it but it was really nice to see him getting involved in the offense because he's a really good player and i feel like when he's getting a lot of catches things are going well for the seahawks so i was pretty worried in i think the fourth quarter or at least late in the game when we come back from a commercial break and there is dk metcalf sitting on the cart that little golf cart thing and they're driving him off the field that is a universally a bad sign in football it means someone has sustained an injury so severe that they cannot walk off the field under their own power the fact that this is even a common occurrence speaks to the brutality of football let's just be honest

can i mention my experience and i won't i won't spoil where you're going but to to walk you up to that same timeline for me is i had a really busy morning so i couldn't like really just like sit down and watch the game intently like i would prefer to i was running around i was making food i was doing all these things so there were moments where i was like running i had to okay don't go on a tangent you don't have to say why but i had to jump in my car and go on a emergency grocery store run really quickly uh for about i don't know 10 minutes so i'm like racing to the grocery store listening to the game on my car instead of watching it listening to the came on my car radio i should say instead of watching it uh and then racing back and in this moment where i am getting out of the car i turn off the radio it's like a you know it's a commercial break there's a break in the play i i run inside i get back into the kitchen where my computer is playing the game and that's where i just see him sitting on the cart and i'm like what did i miss why is our boy why is our sweet giant boy on this cart i mean it is a terrible thing to see

i just remember though looking at the look on dk's face the other thing that happens again this really speaks to the just brutality of football usually when a guy is on the cart being driven off the field they are in what is clearly physical and emotional agony because it's very likely that their season is over possibly their career it's just an intense moment there's a reason why everybody gets down on one knee when someone gets carted off the field so I was shocked that there had been no documentation of an injury to DK Metcalf and that the look on his face didn't read torn ACL it read something else and I couldn't imagine what that something else was but I was just like I was like this is just the Seahawks luck we finally you know Geno Smith and DK Metcalf finally get on the same page he's having this great game and now oh my god carted off like out for we've already lost jamal adams for the season i was just my mind just was racing and i was i was so close to texting the group my fears but i realized that i had like the last four texts were from me and they were unresponded to so i was like okay let me calm down here a little bit like you can kind of see where i can see where i've been texting and there's responses and then where i've just been going on basically like a diatribe and no one's responding maybe because they've blocked me but so i was like i'll just wait so then they a few minutes later they say we've got an update from the sideline reporter and she's chuckling i don't know if you're you're i'm sure at this point back to watching it on tv and i i remember having the thought they go we have an update on dk metcalf and and she's laughing and i think boy that's heartless like you did you not know your mic was hot you're chuckling about this i mean this guy's season is over are you kidding me and then she goes on to explain that dk metcalf is in fact fine but he had to take the cart because he had to go to the bathroom and i guess the head trainer suggested to him that they use the cart because at ford field in detroit the bathrooms or i should say the locker rooms are these are the furthest away from the field locker rooms in the nfl they're the denver airport of the nfl exactly thank you you have to you have to answer blucifer's riddles three to get into the bathroom um and so he he was asked about it after the game dk was and he said a couple of great things one was he basically said i don't have it right in front of me but it was something about like i was not going to be able to clinch and it was something the effect of like he was going to be clenching his butt cheeks trying to like jog out of that stadium and it was not going to end well so this was actually the right solution for him my thought is and this is of course a lot has been made about this there's a pieces in various you know like the seattle times and espn and everyone's kind of having a good laugh and dk of course took it totally in stride

he did not seem embarrassed about it at all which good for him um but i was wondering does that make this the most public case of having diarrhea

maybe in human history well do you remember to me this had uh major echoes of lamar jackson doing this a couple of years ago now he oh yeah kept claiming oh just cramps but everybody knew and so this was a game where the browns were finally ascendant again and this game was and this is a you know huge rivalry between the browns and the ravens and lamar jackson is the quarterback for the ravens and um the browns finally had the upper hand i want to say in a nationally broadcast game um i think it was like a thursday night well yeah i was watching it yeah and so and the browns were actually winning they ended up losing that game but one of the things that we thought was great was lamar jackson for some reason left the game and i he wasn't carded i think he no he was jogging he was jogging but we saw him in the they showed footage of him though inside like the the tunnel tunnel that you go to to get into the uh locker room and and everybody was like oh my god and everybody was kind of analyzing his strut a little bit and so that that rang out to me now he didn't get carded off so the experience was slightly different i guess you're right i would i would

say those maybe they were equal because i was just in terms of just the amount of speculation the difference with the lamar jackson one was he didn't cop to it so it was like we're just everybody kind of figured well the the way he's jogging we've all done that jog at some point in our life not usually under these circumstances but people could kind of read between the lines i thought it was just kind of funny that dk was like and and again kind of charming that dk was just like yeah yeah yeah my stomach was bothering me and there was no way i was going to be able to get off the field under my own power so uh you know like i don't know there was something that was just very It actually reminded me Was it Who was the player I don't know if I have this tape Here There was a baseball player Oh It was Chanho Park Remember this tape of Chanho Park Describing His stomach situation

I had a lot of diarrhea That's what you want to know Your manager said you were sick Yeah I had a lot of diarrhea yeah i had an idea and then uh

oh boy is funny tv oh okay i guess that's a tbtl intro so is this a kind of a cultural thing because like he doesn't understand why here in the states all of his american teammates are laughing at him because he was where is he from korea korea um you know that's a great question

i don't know what i don't know culturally how it goes in korea um but you could hear his teammates It's just dying in the background

And he seems legitimately like what that's funny I don't like what is the joke here everybody

And I kind of was like I guess my thought was the way DK handled it and the way even Chanho Park Handled it in this kind of old piece Of tape like I think it would Make it a lot better for all of us who've Who've suffered from stomach discomfort If we could de-stigmatize it a little bit Now I know like you Andrew you don't like this topic It's a little It's just not your favorite topic for us to discuss Or for it to be discussed in polite Company certainly Becca is like a hard no on these kind of conversations but i do think if we if we have more dk metcalfs and more chan ho parks in the world who are just like what i don't know my stomach was doing a thing i had to take care of it i did we're fine it would probably i wouldn't have shit my pants at a mariner's game andrew is what i'm trying to say because i was deeply ashamed the deep shame i felt around needing to go to the bathroom at that age was why i allowed the situation to become at

some point irretrievable you know i think i always had that wrong i thought it was the nastiness of a stadium bathroom of a kingdome bathroom it was more combo platter it was about like it was more about going and like knowing that well if i go to use the restroom i'm probably going to be gone for a long period of time that happened to me recently where i was like i had to use the restroom and i can't remember who or where i was with but i was like well this is just a thing that's going to take some time and wherever i was i was like people are going to realize i'm gone for a while but that's just the way it is oh yeah i know where it was i was at the eagles and veves and i had just walked from um i know we had walked two miles to get to the eagles and uh like it was uphill in the sun it was from the um pinehurst pub luke if you can picture that walk all the way down 15th i think and it's like it's slow somewhat uphill walk two miles yeah and roosevelt right or whatever that is that there's a pretty decent hill in that walk yeah and i think it's 15th you go over this golly anyway um we get there and i'm kind of like oh my stomach doesn't feel great so i go to use the restroom there's not very many people in our eagles club and so i sort of am like oh my presence is going to be missed but this one is just taking a while like this happens sometimes but luke so i go and i'm just so glad that you know the eagles is like the bathrooms there are very clean and so that's the weirdest bathroom by the way like i don't know what the latest decorating oh yeah that clown.

is weird it's large the the men's bathroom at that eagles is the great news is it's large i think there are a couple of more stalls it's very clean like you said like it's a great bathroom from a functionality standpoint yeah i will say the decor is slightly head scratch it's bananas and i don't

know if you've ever actually been in the in the big stall but uh i think the bartender decided like he was just going to make it like a crazy clown gallery so it's all pictures i haven't used i didn't use that one i used the one with um orion who's the king who's the god of the sea there's a poseidon poseidon so i use the poseidon stall i didn't realize the stalls interiors were

themed i just meant around the mirror oh it's all weird yes yeah jokes about guys drinking with big

red noses like just alcoholism jokes on the wall anyway uh but the thing is i'm like okay good so i use it's very private there's not many people there i am feeling the clock ticking a little

bit and i'm like and then luke but you know the problem with that game is if you feel the clock and i've done this if you if you if you try to wrap things up before they're really done all you've done now is created another situation that's going to unfold where you're going to have to now go back to the bathroom which is definitely going to be noticed yes i was dead i was dedicated

to the cause in this case but here's how you know it might have been too long because eventually luke the lights went out on me because they are motion sensor lights in that bathroom something i didn't realize or i didn't remember i should say um and this is a bathroom that has no windows there's no light sneaking and there's no exit sign that is lit up i went from being like somewhat uncomfortable just somewhat physically uncomfortable but mostly just kind of like in my head about like okay come on come on come on and then like is genevieve are people saying What happened to Andrew? Wasn't he, didn't he walk in with you?

Is Kamara Kev going to stick his head in there in a minute and go, sir?

And so I'm like, and then all of a sudden it goes pitch, pitch, pitch black. And so I have to open up the flashlight on my phone to get out of there. It was a, it was a thing. And this is the first time I'm opening up about that. Thanks to DK Metcalf.

Did you have to, um, did just when you were all done, uh, or whatever, like how much movement was required on your part to get the lights going again or did you have to like throw a like throw one of the extra toilet paper rolls like over the stall so that it would it would turn the lights

back that's an interesting move although i will say they're very private stalls so i don't even know and that's one of the beauties of it i don't know i this might be a stall that goes up to the ceiling which is nice i mean that's what you want right so the sensor doesn't even know you're in no i'm telling you man there is there is no solving this from the throne this was a situation where I needed to finish up using the light from my flashlight on my phone, which, I mean, man, like, that's just we – people didn't just carry around flashlights, right? Before phones, people wore watches so you could tell the time and other various things. But, like, having a flashlight on us at all times is really kind of a benefit of living in the digital age, just the flashlight technology alone. So, yeah, I couldn't get those lights back on until I left the stall. so and it was dark and then it was one of those things where and i'm glad it didn't work out this way it's like if somebody else walks in and triggers the lights that would make things easier but also harder because then they have they know that they walked into a dark bathroom but they can hear they can hear that there's movement in the stall like that would have been bad well that's when you have to control your breathing if you try to get down to one heartbeat per minute right And that's where you go full predator.

Yeah. You cover yourself in clay so that the predator cannot read the heat map that you're in there. You know? Yeah. That's just like you make sure the door is locked, which, of course, it already is. You put your feet up. Yep. And then you just hope for the best. Yes. And just hope that nobody tries the door. Let's see. You know what? can we talk uh fish cheating tomorrow because this tape is pretty funny but it's a there's actually a few layers to this did you just as a quick question did you see any of this

bouncing around the internet over the weekend i did not see it until you sent it today and i read both of these articles that are related i am just absolutely fascinated especially since one kind of comes from my old stomping ground yeah the the greater cleveland area i believe or certainly ohio um maybe i'm wrong about i guess it was closer to ledo i think but either way these are fascinating stories and i think you're right to um wait until we can really give them their proper

due okay so we'll do that uh tomorrow here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female all right speaking of which email or v-mail before

we hit the road yeah you know what i got a couple of voicemails off the line today um that i'd like to share with you okay here i'll play this one i don't think it takes much setting up you and i were talking about an

article written about the state of the podcast industry right now, written by Nick Qua, who is a founder of the Hot Pod publication and now writes for Vulture, I believe, but was like, you know, he was the first person, I think, to do critical thinking and writing about the podcasting industry. And of course, Hot Pod still exists. And we were talking about a piece that he had written recently about the about the lack of huge hits in the podcast industry right now uh and you and i also were sort of lamenting that for some reason even though we've had interactions with nick and he definitely knows that we exist as a podcast he's never really written much about us other than a mention or two here or there well uh mariah wanted i'm sorry this is a listener laura who wanted to weigh in on all of this

It's listener Lara in North Carolina. I was just listening to your conversation about Hot Pod. I have been a TV show listener from almost the beginning, radio days. I'm from Seattle. But about seven years ago, I lived in New York City, and Nick Qua was my roommate. Well, not for very long. I want to say like about a year, maybe less than a year. He was a friend of a friend of a friend. super nice um i'm i just wanted to say that like 65 of our conversations were me just talking about how much i love tbtl one time um i volunteered to write a blurb about tbtl and it was in hot pod i don't think i did a good job because it's sort of hard to communicate what i get from the show in about three sentences um and the other 35 of our conversations were probably about like rent and utilities because we went in Brooklyn and that was important. Okay, power out. Bye.

We had a person on the inside, Luke. Yeah, we did. A person working hard on the inside to get a feature length article about TBTL. Which means

this is apparently personal.

Yeah, it's getting more personal by the moment. It's not that he hasn't been exposed to the majesty that is this show. And that is the story too, right? If there's a story about TBTL, it is about the connection with the listeners and the listeners connection to the show, right? And what they feel and here you're getting somebody who's 60 percent of the conversations are just like you know full-on pr for that story and yeah he's just like no i'm an obviously delightful human right exactly and that was seven years ago i mean there was less to write about in the podcasting realm seven years ago what do you got you got cereal and you got us this is that's all that that yeah

And Laura had to actually just physically write the blurb about us.

Yeah, and then he's like, okay, fine, you can write something, and I'll put it in there. So, Nick?

Well, you know, I mean, honestly, maybe it's better that we don't have the white-hot spotlight of attention that being written up in that column would bring to this show. like for one thing that would definitely force our bosses to pay attention to the program which is never a good thing yeah yeah that's like we're kind of tight we've got the listeners uh many of whom thankfully donate to support the show we've got each other we've got our kind of growing hollywood screenwriting career that's true um it's going fine in fact i don't know like could we scale this up if we were written about in that column and if we suddenly had 50 000 new listeners i don't think this is scalable andrew this only works as an extremely boutique like one-to-one

kind of thing do you feel like if we had more listeners i'd have to spend more time in great detail trying trying to describe this person's relationship to the cat shelter but also she is a vet technician herself but wait i don't know if it's clear that the company she works for is not the one that she volunteers like do i need to do more of that stuff because that's the goal

yes people are looking for in storytelling the amount of that that you do is based it's it averages out over the number of listeners we have but say if we tripled the listeners you need to

triple the complexity of that description i see so my ability my god-given ability to hone in on the most boring and tedious part of a story and somehow make it more tedious than it was in real

life that we need more of that so okay well no we need more of me describing a visual logo from the late 90s about the wrong audio editing software that's that i think is the real special sauce of this program andrew i'd have to misdescribe three three times as many logos per show if we grew so i actually think as we've talked this out i think it's perfect the way it is let's just leave it be that's it no new listeners if you're here if you're it's like It's like when you're at like a bar where you kind of know the bartenders and they're like, you know, OK, we close it to they.

they close the doors they lock the doors but they're like you can finish your drink right that's this show you're if you're in here we're locking the doors this is it this is the maximum

number of people that can be in this right and you know if one person leaves we might let another person in if they have a recommendation um okay i'm gonna have one more voicemail not if they're

with the podcast control board i uh sorry i got distracted there for a second because i just

fun to say we were talking on Friday a little bit about like what our plans were for Friday's Mariners game because it looked like the Mariners might be able to wrap up or clinch their post season position or maybe not position but clinch a postseason place with the game on Friday which did happen and you were going to be at a wine tasting Luke and I wasn't sure if I was going to watch it at home or go to a bar and I did go to a bar I went to Teddy's like I think I was tempted to and i was really tired and i was like ah just stay home but i was like no be around people in case this moment happens and it did end up being an incredibly cinematic moment as the mariners did win that game in the bottom of the ninth and i'm so so glad i was around a bar full of mariners fans it was it was intense i knew that i was paying attention to the game along with the people to my left and right at teddy's and genevieve was there with me um but i didn't realize that everybody in the bar was as intent upon watching the game as intently as i was and when he hit that walk-off home run it sounded like an explosion went off behind me the bar i mean this will be i was going to say indelible on my brain but my brain my brain doesn't see that my brain forgets stuff all the time but like your brain doesn't tell my brain my brain's like dude you did not at Adele but anyway it was an incredible moment um to to be there were you at a wine tasting when

this moment happened I was driving home from a wine tasting and trying to it was it was actually a little bit of a bummer because I was driving home from wine tasting trying to get the game on my phone because there's no radio broadcast down there but at the moment the uh app was being weird and kind of in and out and we were in you know out in the middle of nowhere and it's all cell phone based so i ended up i mean i knew what the i knew what had happened and so i uh i got home and i watched it i i had taped the game and i watched the entire game and it was very fun and very satisfying and it was kind of what you and i were talking about where it was sort of fun that it wasn't a deal where baltimore just lost again peace and love to our orioles fans out there And please do us a favor and just absolutely Just truck the Toronto Blue Jays Please for the next three games But it was Really fun that it wasn't A situation where Baltimore Lost therefore we just had it salted Away and then we just kind of like Meekly you know lost But then still did our dance I mean that was That was as dramatic a way as you could Possibly secure that Victory

The only thing that could have made it more would have been if we hadn't gone into the ninth as a tie if we had gone into the ninth actually losing and then have a walk off that is the only scenario that would have made that more

incredible well there is one and this is the i just said this is the part where the show should end because i have the worst take on this whole thing andrew the most unfun take which was we would have just locked it up in one of the subsequent five games oh yeah no no of course we would have yeah yeah so it was a cool like from a from a theatric standpoint from just like a celebration standpoint it was so awesome but it wasn't like we weren't you know the playoffs like i'll tell you when that's dramatic it's the final game of the season and he does that that's like maybe one of the more iconic moments that i could remember in any seattle sports history but it's like it's i guess the part for me was i was super happy that they won and i love cal raleigh and it was like a really fun it was just the most fun way that could happen but it was like i guess it was just a little bit the back of my mind i couldn't get rid of and this is so so not fun i couldn't get rid of this kind of nagging feeling of like yeah but i mean this was a fun way for something that we knew was going to happen to happen and i'm in i'm here for that but to the like the idea that it was like a miracle or something or people were like that's the most iconic moment in Marin or that's in the top two I guess for me it was really fun but it's not in my top four iconic Mariner moments and that probably does have to do with I mean you're

absolutely right like I went into the bar you know I went into Teddy's like maybe maybe it's the third inning already and you know I get my seat in front of the TV and I know the bartenders who are working and they're excited but I'm also like you know kind of I got kind of my nervous energy going on they're like yeah that's cool but we also have you know we have we have time you know what i mean if we don't make it to

day we're still gonna make it we still have like 11 chances based on like wins and losses of us and other teams and um i but but the thing is like the city was ready for it that day i mean that's just like you said like if baltimore had won earlier like yeah we still would have clinched it but like we the city wanted it that day like we all left our houses that day to go out everybody who went to that park that day wanted like it was it was special the way it happened like it just wouldn't have been yeah we would have gone to the playoffs either way but it just could have happened in such a lame way I mean I'm going to the game tonight I mean I guess it would have been awesome if if this happened while I was there but even for me I'm glad it happened on a Friday night like it just like that it was just like it was just not overlooked like the city was just ready for that right so it just popped in that way for me I think you're totally

right and i think also the difference is if i had been in seattle at teddy's if i had been surrounded by mariners fans instead of driving like on the back roads of you know the area between amity oregon and portland like you know in a car with some folks who were like you know moderately interested in what happened you know i think i think the context in which i experienced it was different so much different than what you're describing i think i would again if i'm with you at teddy's or any place in seattle surrounded by ems fans i'm i'm going crazy i'm maybe i by the way here's here's what belies everything that i just said i then went home

and watched it and got choked up watching it yeah i was fighting because like i saw a lot of people on twitter being like i am crying right now like cheers and i looked around like nobody was really doing like i was at standing at the bar and there was a moment where i just had to lock my eyes on the tv and not talk to anybody because i think i would have probably broken and i'd like to point You know, not that I'm not a huge Mariners fan, but like we're talking about people in that bar who spent their entire life or the majority of their life waiting for this to happen again. You know what I mean? I'm a 45 year old man who started watching the Mariners 10 years ago or a little bit more. But you know what I mean? It's not like this was a lifelong payoff for me or even a or even a 21 year payoff for me, you know. So and for me to feel that just to there were just a lot of feelings that night. It was just incredible.

Yeah, I know that I started this by saying I have a bad take Which was that it was inevitable But I want to walk that back a little bit Because it was That was a pretty cool way for that to go down And I did, I mean, to the point where the next day I was watching the day game And they were showing a bunch of interviews From the night before that they probably didn't have time to show And they showed this one guy Is it Matt Olson, that reliever that we picked up Kind of not that long ago

Was it Boyd that you were talking about?

sorry Matt Boyd yeah um and he grew up in the northwest and he you know I mean he's been on the team for three weeks or something and he's just talking about you know what a big deal this is and he starts kind of tearing up in the locker room and then I'm tearing up again so yeah clearly uh clearly I was affected by it despite my initial comments yeah definitely I wonder what it is like

for like something like Kyle Seeger to see that I'm sure he was very happy but like part of my thought did go to all those Mariners who were like, I mean, because Seager was a Mariner through and through and he gave his entire career to this organization and gotten close last season and got a hell of a send-off last season too, but like, God, I mean, I love having Suarez on our team, like I think he is one of the hearts and one of the souls of the team, I guess I'll say and so that's tons of fun, but I wish Kyle could have gotten a little something too

yeah i saw somebody i mean you're talking about the whole emotional component somebody uh wrote like a tweet or something that was like pretty much everybody who has been following this team for long enough and who was you know extremely uh excited on friday night can think of somebody in their life who's maybe not around who also was kind of you know watching this these 20 years of futility and kind of those people i mean the the basic point that was being made was they're also enjoying it somewhere you know kind of like saying we're we're you know you're you're still connected to those people who would have been as psyched about this as you are and i was like man that's a really an emotional thing to think about because it's true you know and i can think of examples of that too i thought of our friend mike frizell you know and just like i think the first time i ever hung out with him i didn't even i don't know if i was even doing tbtl i think i was just in seattle going to a baseball game with radke and and he said oh my buddy frizzell might come you know and i think i remember and my memory of it is that mike was somehow the way the arrangement of our seats were was he was not even in our row he was like in the row behind us so i was just like overhearing him just being funny the whole game you know so yeah that Thank you. kind of hit me that tweet just thinking about the the folks that that i've known throughout my life who maybe aren't here but who would have also been super psyched about how that went down so

yeah yeah my dad when i talked to my dad on sunday he said hey did you hear about the cleveland guardians how about that and i was like dad i hate to say it but like i mean i'm happy for y'all and i have friends who are cleveland fans but like do you remember me ever caring about the cleveland guardians or then we not create more emotional distance please no i mean i was like hey well you know dad we are kind of a little bit at odds about that right now like this is two days later and i'm still like buzzing from the uh or i guess it was on saturday that i talked to him so i'm still like buzzing from the game the night before and there's you know what i mean like there's no way for my dad to understand first of all i didn't grow up even liking baseball and he doesn't care for baseball that much either he was just kind of saying it because you know cleveland too is excited right now and they're celebrating their their victory which which they should and i'm happy for them too i really i gotta say i did i did really kind of want to see the mariners go to cleveland i know that even though we're still fighting for home field advantage that was the one that i wanted the most because i just i don't know why i just had a good feeling about it i just had a good feeling about carlos santana hitting the game winning home run in cleveland like there's i just thought for sure that we're gonna have some weird poetry like that yeah we're at this

point where i mean it seems pretty unlikely that we could overtake toronto it is theoretically possible but seems seems not super likely um i mean again i would be fine with us tanking i don't know how you really do that though it's like you just all the indications are we're probably gonna end up going to toronto and playing them there which is gonna be that's gonna be pressure packed i'm already i mean i think this came up either on a no point or just on our show talking about this but like i'm already like well holy shit friday saturday and sunday are going to be big big days like intense sports days you know for me and like i'm flying on sunday i'm flying to chicago and i'm like it's the am i gonna be like on a plane while the the third and like the the rubber match is unfold like it's already like it's already messing with me how big of a deal this weekend is going

to be just related to mariner stuff yeah veeve sent me a text this morning she's at work today and she sent me a text that said something like um hey you know whatever some co-workers were inviting us to this nice little thing on thursday evening and um i was like some october festy kind of thing and uh i was like she's like do you think we can make this you know these are friends that we haven't hung out with in a while too and i should be making these efforts and i just i was like wait when are the playoffs again like i was just like i really don't want to return this text to genevieve to say well actually the first game of the playoffs are thursday luckily they are not because genevieve totally would have understood by the way but i would have just felt really shitty like i'm trying not to be that guy you know what i mean like all social stuff has to be on hold but i mean i got to prioritize this wild card series like i've literally never seen anything like it from my point of view as a fan yeah do we know what time the game on friday is i don't have times on these but i assume you know they're going to be prime time games right but i would would they would they would they um well toronto is not a west coast team either so they would probably prioritize it for an east coast audience i'm guessing right yeah i don't

know i guess we'll see i'm just like if we have to not do tbtl that day we just don't do tbtl that's

oh right i don't think it would be a daytime thing but we would of course we'll we'll figure

it all out but yeah all right well it's exciting nonetheless um so that's pretty cool plus i did i

was gonna say i did have a good voicemail i'll save for tomorrow but i just want to get everybody really excited about a really good voicemail of uh let's just well i won't give away too much but

it's exciting it involves airports oh excellent one of my favorite topics all right we will do that and i'm sure so much uh additional stuff tomorrow when we rejoin you for more of this imaginary radio uh until then though have a great monday take care of yourselves uh we'll see you tomorrow and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

i hear from the boys upstairs you've been sticking your nose in a ralph elliott case yes captain don't yes captain me stay out of this this is strictly homicide captain i got this friend we all got these friends i'm warning you giardino back off italian boy keep away from this one it's too big for you wait a minute captain wait a minute wait a minute trust me on this one i know what i'm talking about you screw this one up pal and you'll be writing pocket tickets for the rest of your life you got that good for you that was so much better really terrific it was fantastic the beginning felt pretty good yeah yeah it was great so i get too much in the end no no no it was really terrific i'd really like to discuss this but i gotta go save a life let me work on it i'll work on it work on it because it was terrific and and honestly it was such a big improvement fantastic thank you thanks power out