Muse

The basic plan we have for the family is the family talk plan. It's called All Talk. You get 400 anytime minutes, which you can use anytime. There's another one called Even More Family, and that is 400 anytime minutes, unlimited nights and weekends. That sounds great. We'll do that. There's more options. Can I? There's Even More Family Unlimited, which is unlimited minutes and texting plus web.

Okay, so one doesn't have texting, the other doesn't have web.

We'll just get one that has everything. Okay. Well, then you want the Simply Everything plan.

Okay.

There's also Simply Everything plus.

Which is what?

Simply Everything plus texting.

What we want is your most standard, basic family plan with a satellite locator.

This changes everything plan is what you want then. You guys want to add another line for $5? I would love that. Yes. Great. So you guys are all set. That is the plan, Simply Everything, everything, shared any 10 minutes plus rollover. Great. Okay, so you're all set. You're all signed up. Now, there is a nominal fee if you want to keep your current phone number.

Yeah, I thought that was a free service.

After you pay for it, it is free. So it's just a one-time fee that you pay annually. It's not a one-time fee, but... It is one time in that you only pay one time a year. Great. All right, great. You guys are ready to pick out your sunglasses. TBTL.

It's so easy. All you do is point and click. All you need is a computer and a regular phone line.

There's nothing classier than boring jazz music. I am here to tell you. It's like your own mini garden. And, well, now that you think about it, it's kind of fun seeing how good it grows. It's just kind of like, you know, kids, like, it's kind of like kids growing up, but it's a plan.

Here I've been talking with the most intelligent people in the world and I never even noticed.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's called the Danger Witch, and it's dangerously good. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Doesn't he look like the kind of boy who has to fight him off? Yes, he does. Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where it was a bit drizzly this morning. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. I don't know what the full-on forecast is for the rest of the day. It's going to be kind of medium. It's going to get into the mid-70s. We are finally, I think, starting to enter actual fall-time weather. I'm actually really glad it wasn't torrentially raining this morning because I had a very, very close call with a sprinter van on my jog this morning. And I have an I think a and a slightly irrational fear. I'm told the backstory of this the other day on the show where once when I was a kid, I was came pretty close to being hit by a car. I guess maybe that just imprinted on me but I am extremely concerned when I'm out and about on a jog about a car's not seeing me and I do this hyper vigilance of like looking both ways at every street that I'm approaching no matter how kind of you know residential it is or every alley and boy am I glad that I've been doing that for 20 years because I came around a corner near my place and a sprinter van And the guy wasn't even doing anything wrong. He was just doing what you do when you're exiting the kind of loading area of an apartment building. You edge your vehicle out towards the street so you can see what the heck's going on. And I was, as I was taking, and this is completely like a blind corner, if you will. Like, I couldn't see him. He couldn't see me until my foot was going right in front of the tire. And he hit his brakes and I hit my brakes and everything was fine. But whoo, tell you what, that'll that just hit hard reset on all of my concerns about coming in contact with a vehicle on a job. Good news is I'm here. We are ready to do this. It's episode three thousand seven hundred and eighty five in a collector series. Let the fun begin. And it's going to be a good one. A young guy in Arizona made a quite spectacular sports bet over the weekend.

You betcha.

Um, but then he sort of messed it up. I've made a huge mistake. We will play you the audio. Also, speaking of huge mistakes, a couple of guys got caught cheating at fishing in Ohio.

Is it too early to fish sandwich?

And that tape is also incredible. We are going to very much earn our Ooh Explicit rating today. Because there was no way I could bleep out the reaction from the other Fisher people, Fisher folk. Because if I did, it would just be like that Buster Bluth tape from Arrest Development where it's just 40 seconds of bleep. So we may play some swears on the show coming up today, plus emails and V-mails. And this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show, may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He was at the baseball game last night, which is why we call him Andrew Walsh. And he's joining us right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I heard a blood-curdling sound come from outside my windows today. Uh-oh. Blood-curdling? I'm exaggerating. I did hear something interesting, though. So we have a coyote in the neighborhood, my friend. Okay, that's blood curdling. The neighbors are going bananas. So when we moved into this little neighborhood, and it's kind of like a little micro neighborhood, there is a, I don't even know how to describe it. I guess it's kind of like an email-based list serve type of thing where a bunch of neighbors

stay in touch with each other.

It's not Nextdoor, which is actually, you know, like a website that is built for that stuff. One of your favorite websites. Yeah, right. No, but, I mean, it is sort of the same thing. Like, it'll go quiet for a long time, and then I'll get a notice in my email, or I'll get a new email that somebody has sent a message to the list, and it'll say, Hey, did anybody happen to grab something off my porch, or have I been a victim of porch pirates for the first time? I hate the term porch pirate. I don't know why. I think it has something to do with working in commercial radio. Having things stolen off your porch really does suck. Vives and I have to make measures or take measures to make sure it doesn't happen to us. But there's something about the term porch pirate that just makes me think that you're just really.

You feel like it's racist adjacent, right? But you can't put your finger on it? No, no, not porch pirates. No. I just, it feels weird. It feels to me like it's right somehow, and I can't, there's no logic to this. It strikes me as vaguely racist when I hear it, and I don't know why.

That is interesting. No, I, for me, that's not it. And, you know, I talk about that stuff when I feel like even if I have undefined feelings around it. But, no, for me, Luke, it's much more shallow. To me, like Porch Pirates is something. It's almost like it's more adjacent but worse than, like, calling Snow the white stuff on commercial TV or radio. Like, it's like it's one of those things that feels so invented by the local newscasts that are trying to scare the shit out of people.

Right. That Dory Monson would be would be, you know, railing against.

Let's grow a pair. Yeah. And it's like it's just something about the term. It's like this cutesy term that feels very made up by local television. And again, I'm not saying that, like, hey, it's I don't want shit stolen off my porch. Like, I don't either. But like, there's something about when somebody writes to a micro neighborhood list serve saying, have I been the victim of porch pirates? It just irritates me as opposed to somebody saying, hey, I think something was stolen off my porch. I don't know why. Anyway, that's the vibe of this list serve. Mostly people checking in on each other. It's not totally toxic. Sometimes it's people concerned about property damage, but also sometimes it is just people saying, hey, I made a bunch of extra cookies. Does anybody want one? That part is kind of sweet. But a couple of days ago, somebody sent out a photo of what looks to be, I don't have anything for scale, a big coyote that was in a neighborhood park. And I mean a park that is very close to us. And said, hey, saw this guy. You know, it was me and my little dog. The dog, my dog didn't even notice this coyote. The coyote kept his distance. But, like, you know, keep your pets inside. Watch out for this thing. And now we keep on getting emails throughout the day. This is over the course of the past two days of people sending photos of this coyote that they've spotted on our street. And I live on a pretty small little street here. And apparently this this coyote is just like wandering up and down the street. And of course, it's funny because some people are like, oh, these poor, beautiful creatures. We've taken them out of their habitat by, you know, building buildings there. and other people are like no we must throw rocks and and teach these predators that they do not belong here and it's just nobody's fighting it's just like point counterpoint sort of and i you know i just make sure that my cats don't go outside and hope for the best but today there was some emergency going on and a bunch of fire trucks had their sirens wailing and it was very loud outside my window but then genevieve who's in the next room said is that a coyote braying or whatever howling and i said no no that those are just fire trucks he's like no no beyond the fire trucks and so i listened more closely and it's true that the coyote was responding i believe to this very much louder

than usual fire truck thing they were i don't know what the emergency was but it must have been something i heard a whole bunch of trucks and then but you could hear the coyote doing these like it would start as a bark but turn into a howl sort of sound which i don't think i've heard that

before but it was you know it's spooky season that is the ultimate intersection not the ultimate the ultimate intersection of of of modern life and ancient life would be if the horn on a tesla caused a coyote to howl right right but this is still pretty close which is that we humans with our uh you know with our soft um furless hairless skin in our wood dwellings that we build and heat and pump cable television into and our firefighters who are hired to make sure that those things don't burn down etc if the noise from that causes a thing that's ancestors lived on that very in that very area when none of the you know soft skin humans were there if like the fire engine causes the coyote to wail that's a very interesting little kind of symbiosis it is interesting and

what i also think is interesting i know this and the listeners might not so i'm sort of telling them is that whenever luke talks about people he talks about them as soft skinned humans like this isn't just something for the con i just want people to know this isn't something you're just saying for the context of the coyote conversation for some reason you can only describe people as soft skin humans why is that luke um that's for the courts to decide andrew it's a strange

it's just that's for king county prosecutor dan satterfield to decide andrew satterberg

is he still i don't know yeah i think so i don't think that's even the prosecutor i don't think he is if it ain't norm mailing i don't know who it is anyway that was the prosecutor when i was growing

up that was my adventure but i don't mean to take away from your uh your heart pounding adventure

this morning too but i think that's actually way more interesting what you just described and i like i'm you know in fact you know i was when you used to live in uh roosevelt yeah i was i can't remember i believe you were living there at the time maybe not yet but i was in that neighborhood and i was in fact out on a little morning jog i didn't live in seattle so i must have been staying at like um that uh the undergraduate or what's it called the graduate yeah the postdoc what's the name of that hotel the defending its thesis anyway uh the graduate hotel there on 45th and i was out running around kind of down by cowan park and it was probably like 7 30 in the morning and i came around a corner and there was big as anything a coyote just like on the sidewalk and he didn't do anything but it was like wow we really i mean we are still in close proximity

to a lot of wild animals yeah definitely you know i'm i'm just going through my email trash here i found the coyote picture that that's now again there have been several sightings since so now like kind of people are taking photos if they can like uh and sending them back and forth and saying hey i saw the coyote at this corner or whatever but uh i'll use the original photo as a uh yes I want to see that we'll remember majestic beast.

Remember when I was in what we were. Oh, no, I was this was on a TBTL trip. I was in the kind of outskirts of the Bay Area in Dublin, California, again, out on a little morning exercise thing. And the only place I could find that seemed like kind of I mean, seriously, like this is the thing for me. I sound like I'm trying to pass myself off as, you know, Eric Little from Chariots of Fire or something. But the issue is I do, when I can, try to get out there and jog. I hate jogging in overly urban environments because of exactly what happened to me this morning. I can't really relax because if I'm approaching any intersection, my sort of antenna starts going up, particularly uncontrolled intersections. because it's just like somebody if they're just cruising through you know they're blowing through a stop sign or they're looking at their phone or they're late for work i just and there's lots of cars that are parked everywhere so you don't really have a good clear view of everything and they can't see you it's a constant concern in my mind and this morning i mean honestly if i wasn't so paranoid i'd probably be i'd probably have a busted leg right now or something because i slowed up ever so slightly as i was approaching this little this little um exit from this hotel kind of turn or apartment building turnaround and the guy just like again it was one of those things where we both went like his tires squealed my running shoes squealed anyway the point is i'm often in a place where i'm trying to find some kind of naturey thing because then i don't have to worry about getting hit by sprinter vans and when i was in dublin california that was when i got i think anyway chased by coyotes because oh right that was very harrowing and you were you

ended up down at the bottom of the long hill right you you were trying to decide am i gonna have to hop this fence and run up the hill of somebody's property where you can see

which i did you did do that okay i did well so yeah it was it was this kind of ravine that had a running path on it i'd found it on the internet and for a while it was really beautiful and i was there was like farms on the other side of the ravine i even saw i think i took a picture of a wild boar that was out on that hillside yep but somewhere in all of that i was hearing these dogs barking and it just sounded kind of like a lot of dogs i was like man someone's got like you know four or five dogs living on their property but that's fine whatever they you know that just that happens but they sound pretty far away and then as i continued the jog they just never sounded like they should have been based what is it the doppler effect they should have been further away the sound of their yipping should which also didn't sound like normal dogs i remember thinking oh it must be chihuahuas because they didn't have like the kind of bark that rudy would have they had a high pitched bark which made me think the dog was small and um and then anyway i just kept being it was about the same volume for like a mile and then i was like oh wait and then by by the time i got towards like kind of where i was gonna have to turn around on the trail i then also saw a sign that said beware of coyotes and i was like well that's what that is so then i just went i just went like rock scrambling up this incredibly steep like hillside slash yard hopped someone's fence cut through their yard and uh ended up in a cul-de-sac and was fine and they either thought

my god what is that bedraggled man doing in our yard or they thought there goes another one no they thought my god it's jason born were you doing the tom cruise run where your hands are like are like blades yeah exactly that's how i go really fast mom look at me i'm going my fastest If that's how Future podcasters of America That's how you describe something On the radio You go And everybody knows exactly what you're talking about

Can I play you some audio tape That quite captivated me over the weekend Now I'm not trying to turn our show Into sports Gambling central Even though I know that because I have kind of gotten in the habit Of throwing down some Silly bets on my teams And I often like to report back on how that's going we're sort of in danger of this but because of what i have allowed on tiktok to proliferate for me i see a lot of wild sports betting like people that are betting these like multi-leg parlay is what it's called so let me just try to describe this for folks that are not familiar so a parlay is going to be where you string together multiple different things that have to happen so it's not just one game you know the seahawks have to beat the detroit lions it's like 15 games where each game has to end in the way you're predicting and of course with every with every added possible outcome that you add to the list the less likely it is you're going to get it and then the more

money it pays and it's all or nothing obviously right so it's like hey i got the first three legs and the fourth busted out you lose you don't you don't it doesn't deliver on any of those first

three bets am i right well that is true but there is and that actually plays into this there is an angle to the whole thing which is let's say so we're talking about a guy he's a bartender in arizona his name is taylor denny i believe and he put together a 15 leg parlay meaning he predicted the winner of 15 nfl games that's super hard to he put down a 10 bet which if all 15 games came in he's gonna win i think it's 74 000 now here's andrew where you could actually not hit all of them but still win as the chances go up of you winning the whole thing the betting app whichever one he's using starts furiously making offers to him uh buy you out buy you out exactly and i i have such a like i mean i've completely and totally anthropomorphized the draft kings app to win like so for instance i the the seahawks were um an underdog against the detroit lions and so i had bet that the seahawks would win and as the game went on and when the seahawks were actually leading by kind of a lot and look like it wouldn't even be close then draft king starts coming back to me going would you take this amount of your bet of the possible winnings and i'm like you fool yeah where were you if you don't love me if you don't love me at my worst you don't deserve

me when the seahawks are actually gonna cover if you don't if you don't love me at my dk metcalf will score the first touchdown for either team if you don't love me at my penny heart will be

the first touchdown scorer overall you don't deserve me at my seahawks were totally covering on the road in detroit so i totally it's like it's literally like i'm in a i'm like in the sore the the the would you call this

sword fight from the princess bride and it'll be like so then draft kings will be like uh would you consider taking 80 of the winnings that you could get right now and then i go but here's something i haven't told you i am not left-handed and then i keep doing and then and then the i don't take the bet and then they end up losing and my whole bet goes away and then drafting is

like i am also not left-handed i also get a somewhat of a maxwell smart vibe if i can kind Keep the references current here of just like, would you take a sandwich? Like the app is kind of like, what about?

Right. So this young guy, he had a 15-leg parlay. And this is a recording of him. He had to work a shift on Sunday night. So the 13 games had happened. And he had won all 13 games, quite improbably. and the 14th game was Sunday night football the game that happened on Sunday night which was uh I think it was the Kansas City Chiefs against the Tampa Bay Bucks and he had Kansas City and they won and this is him standing outside the bar that he works at in Arizona having just seen his 14th of his 15th legs come together and then I'll just let the tape that I made take it from

here wow uh i don't have words um what uh what a sweaty day i've had um we're one leg away from the impossible from a 15 leger from just pick the team that is gonna win and what a better way to do it on a sunday night than watching my kansas city chiefs from casey i work at a kansas city bar in phoenix arizona surrounded by fans um they got the job done for us um and here's the thing they're offering me 23 000 to cash out and i think that's disrespectful because i put a lot of hard work into this 15 leger so uh we now as our friend

chris hayes and i were texting about this the other day by a harder a lot of hard work it means through 15 darts hung over on a saturday morning saw where they would hit yeah well yes but i mean

Wouldn't the hard work be just on the edge? Sweating it? Yeah. You must have a bit of a physical reaction of that much betting. I know that he doesn't have a lot at stake, right? At first, you said he's- $10 bet. $10 bet, yeah. So it's not like he's going to lose his house and home, but it does sort of feel like I get- my heart palpitates while I'm just watching a game that I just have an emotional investment in. I can't imagine that over the course of an entire weekend's games.

I think it's funny, though, that he's insulted by them. Although I said funny, but I just gave you the whole analogy of how. In fact, you know what? I totally understand what he's talking about now that I think about it. Yeah. Because that's exactly the—I've never had a bet, you know, for more than—I've never had them try to buy out a bet for $20. You know what I mean? We're not talking—I'm not in the—I'm not putting down the kind of money, or I should say I'm not having the kind of possible paydays that he's getting. But I do actually—I think I identify with what he's saying as far as like, oh, now you want to make this offer? So they're offering him $27,000 as of Sunday night.

Did you say $23,000? Maybe $23,000.

I might have mistyped it into the show sheet. So they're offering him $23,000, but he can win much more if on Monday Night Football, the Los Angeles Rams beat the San Francisco 49ers, which, honestly, I mean, peace and love to our friends in Frisco. But, I mean, I would – I just – the Rams have so owned the Seahawks over the years that I just always think of the Rams as a borderline unbeatable team, as I would see Aaron Donald just, like, sacking Russell Wilson for the ninth time in a game as Cooper Cupp scores yet another touchdown. Like, I just – that team scares me always. So I'm thinking if I'm this kid, I'm feeling pretty good going into Monday Night Football. He's turned down the $23,000, and all he needs is for the Rams to do what most people are expecting them to do.

We're this 15-leggers, so we're riding. Let's go Rams. Six hours later.

And then it fell to the turf, and if they're going to say it's a fumble, and Sean McVay has to cross the field and shake the hand of Kyle Shanahan, who has beaten him now seven straight times in the regular season.

and the niners won and the guy won nothing but i went to his twitter account today and his response was and who needs money upside down smiley face emoji oh which i thought was a yeah that's a

pretty good response absolutely yeah i uh this is i mean i don't want to take away from this story which is actually interesting with just some bullshit of mine, but that feeling of feeling insulted

I I'm not a better you know that I don't gamble but like I I think I know exactly that feeling because Luke in the other room right now is sitting a used dvd case of season two of the tv show comedy bang bang you know I'm a big fan of the uh of the podcast but I never really got into the tv show I looked for some online they're not really available so I went on to ebay I've purchased things from ebay before but i've never bid on anything on ebay before and i saw that they had i was like can i just get any dvds and so i saw okay comedy bang bang the tv show season two it was like five dollars or something just something ridiculously low might have even been less than that i'm like okay i'll bid on this i didn't even really know how it worked i'm like okay 550 like i'll pay 550 for that what a steal if nobody comes back but then it starts getting into oh well people have already placed their like highest bid level so it automatically starts ratcheting it up on you for a while i let it ride at like six dollars and then i would get an email for i mean the the system works so perfectly i was like i don't even really want it that bad i don't care i'm just doing this kind of on a lark like this was something i did yesterday when i had a a brief notion that i wanted this thing i don't care but then you get the goddamn email that says up somebody just outbid you like you son of a you did you did what you did what no and so all of a And you go back in. You're like, okay, well, maybe I'll raise my highest bid. And the next thing you know, now, I did not overpay for this thing. I think I paid $14 for it before shipping or something, which is totally reasonable. But I wasn't planning on spending $14. The reason I was taking this was because it was practically free. But, my God, I felt a sense of insult every time somebody came back and said, I'm willing to pay more money for this thing. Like, I would be a disaster. Or if you were hosting an auction, like a live auction like you used to host, you would just have dollar signs in your eyes when you saw me because, like, I clearly do not have the emotion for this stuff.

Well, that's a very common response to that kind of stimuli, I guess. Speaking of, by the way, Andrew, charity auctions, guess what tonight is at the Portland Center Stage at the Armory? That's right, TVTL fancy, or Livewire fancy pants.

That was the fanciest sentence I've ever heard. And I used to watch Frasier.

So, I mean. Are you actually auctioning things?

I'm not. We have an auctioneer. You have an auctioneer. What are you, do you know what you're auctioning off?

I think it's a couple of vacations and a wine tour and some kind of cool stuff like that.

Like vacations with you, Luke Burbank, host of Livewire and TVTL?

I legally can't leave the state because of the things we talked about previously. the ankle the ankle monitor goes off the soft fleshy humans right exactly um but uh but yeah it's uh i my guess would be if if you're going you're going and if you're hearing about it right now it might be a little late but you're there i think there's probably still tickets available it's going to be fun we're we're doing an actual show and we're also doing a fundraiser but this was going to say about the psychology of the whole thing i was at this um fundraiser for the um Jefferson County Land Trust up in like Port Townsend and the auctioneer guy did the most incredible thing at the end of the live auction which put which perfectly I think um kind of exemplifies what you were talking about so he ever people had you know I mean this is a really great organization that does amazing work and preserves a lot of nature up there so that doesn't turn into apartment buildings or freeways or something actually I guess the freeways are tough because They could just do eminent domain, although that would be a good eminent donate. That might be a good name for the land trust fundraiser next year.

Yeah, I like that.

Eminent donate to stop eminent domain. Here's what I'm trying to say. After it was all said and done and people had donated all kinds of money and it was great and a great warm feeling, this guy, Matt Smith, the auctioneer, who's a pal of mine, pulls out like a pretty nice bottle of scotch. I don't know, maybe like a hundred dollar bottle of scotch. I can't remember what it was, but it was like pretty fancy. And he goes, I'm auctioning this off for $50. And the way you get it is you're the last person to bid on it. So everyone's got their numbers, right? Because they just were doing other stuff with it. And your number, of course, is you've got a credit card scan somewhere that relates back to your number. This happened to me when I recently went to a fundraiser. I wasn't working. I was attending it for a really cool organization called Harper's Playground here in Portland. and boy does that ever work get a little wine in you and you want to be supportive or you're being part of the fun or you're bidding on a thing and just holding that number up and then next thing you know you've done some real work some real charity work but anyway can I ask a

question because I don't know if I'm about to spoil the joke or if I just like really misunderstand something here but isn't the way auction works is you're always the last

person to bid right but it's not going up so you're not spoiling anything but basically it's not going 50 100 150 200 it's just 50 the amount never changes you just have to be the person who puts your bid up last which of course creates a situation where so you're the first person right so you're like hey 50 bucks for a hundred dollar bottle of scotch why not so you hold up your paddle but and so they go hunt they go fifty dollars now let the other thing the other clarification is every time you raise your paddle you've paid fifty dollars you're basically buying a fifty dollar try at being the last person to bid on this okay so you're not outbidding other people in the sense of like i'll pay a thousand dollars for this thing okay you can have it it's like i raise my paddle for 50 bucks they go in the system luke is donating fifty dollars you raise your paddle now you're the last person to bid so fifty dollars so everybody's paying okay i did deeply misunderstand that okay it's it's a little actually you know but it's a little confusing the way i described it you have to go to a lot of these things to understand why it's very kind of devious but for a good purpose which is to raise money for a good organization but it's like everyone so so it'll go like so someone raised the raises their paddle and then it's like someone else does and now that first person is now they're no longer in the lead for getting this bottle of scotch so then they're like 50 more bucks okay give it a try then they raise their paddle again and then someone across the room does it and everyone is trying to be the very last person and after like 30 of these now it's really getting interesting because now everyone stops and will be going once going twice and then someone in the back will be like i'm gonna try it and everyone is just trying to time it so they're the last person to raise their paddle dude raised like i want to say thirty thousand dollars on this bottle of scotch wow wow of just people raising their paddle trying to get it for 50 bucks and be the last 50 bucks 50 bucks right right 50 bucks

50 bucks 50 and did you try it all you said you were a guest of this oh no this one i was um i was

i was the emcee of this one oh you were that was the one that was in port townsend the one that i attended recently that i had i wasn't working i should work these things because it definitely saves me money if i'm at them i'm i'm i'm supporting the cause if i'm working them i'm maybe getting some kind of a you know honorarium for being there but um anyway i just thought that was my point is that that goes to that same idea of just like there's something switches in our brain when we're competitively trying to get something from somebody else and it's just kind of turning the water up on the frog a little bit you know where you're just like okay i'm already in for this amount why not you know and it's a very interesting kind of mental dynamic you know

i don't think i've ever told you this story so um genevieve is on the board of a non-profit that helps victims of domestic violence and survivors of domestic violence and it's a really good organization she's been working uh with them for years now um and that is kind of my only exposure to fundraising galas um especially pre-pandemic so maybe we went to three of them before the pandemic hit or something along the lines of that and you know i'm not usually one to go in for um for auctions generally speaking but obviously it's a good cause and it's fundraising so i just like we usually go with the same kind of group of friends um actually uh my friend paul who i've mentioned on the show a bunch and his wife uh anyway so i remember one year i don't think i was there i don't know if i was there or not but either way they were the adults in the room were taking care of this but on the docket or whatever you would call it was a special trip to a mariners game where you get to change the manual scoreboard you know the manual scoreboard but like also the more you read the fine print it was like you get to do it for like two innings or something before they take you back to your maybe three innings you get to hang out back there before they take you back to the seat it's not like you get to hang out in the in the caverns of t-mobile park For the entire game But either way It would have been a fun thing The four of us would go You know Pauly loves baseball I love the Mariners It would have been A great experience But it was one of those things Where we won the auction We had this thing We had this thing Luke It was golden It was freaking gold It was freaking gold You're not just going To give it away right God Do Blagojevich references Ever get old What did I reference Earlier in the show too Like a pop culture reference From like 1960 Oh get smart Anyway, so somehow we just never really coordinated, and it's nobody's fault. I mean, it's all of our fault. We just kind of never got our act together to actually turn this thing in. And the next thing you know, the baseball season is over, and we're like, okay. And I think it was Genevieve who said, you know, we'll go. I'll talk to him. I'm sure it was a good cause. Like, they auctioned this thing off. I'm sure maybe we can get them to apply it for next year. And then the pandemic hit, and now it's been years and years. And nobody's going to honor this thing that we bought. at auction for a tidy sum of 2.5 million dollars for this night night at the ball down you get right but i saved a lot of money on the comedy bang bang dvd so it all worked out

well that happens by the way i don't know why this just has descended into charity auction talk but a thing that i mean i i'm i'm kind of surprised that you that that slipped your mind because it does sound really fun but like a lot of what happens at the highest level and i don't really i used to when i lived in seattle i would the the thing that they would do is they would occasionally hire me to emcee one of these really biggies like the sheraton ballroom there's i don't know eight nine hundred people in there it's millions of dollars being raised which is a whole profession doing that right like there are people in seattle who like that's all they do all year round it's just like multiple of these events every week i was never that person i was never good at hyping the crowd i was i was always seemed mildly embarrassed to be there so usually i'd get hired to do like one of those and then the next year like some friend of mine like chris cashman who i'd worked with be like oh you're doing the um whatever uh you're doing the the such and such again and i would be like uh no they didn't call me they call you oh yeah i thought it was gonna be you and me i guess it's gonna be you and someone else but at these really high level ones it's so many people with so much wealth that they're buying and then just re-donating all of it's like a safari photographic safari first class all the way to zimbabwe first class on um you know zimbabwe air and then you'll and like you know you're reading this description of it every morning you'll wake uh wake up to a massage and someone pouring the finest wine down your throat like and somebody waterboarding you with waterboarding you with wine you'll enjoy it um and it'll be like you know and then someone will bid like forty thousand dollars for and then you'll be working a different event six months later and the same trip will be in play because the people who bought it just re-donated it to

something else to another organization yeah yeah yeah they have so much money that they just like

spent forty thousand dollars to win this thing that then they just re-donated to somewhere else so we can raise another forty thousand dollars so that's basically the class of people that you're

in now andrew yeah no i mean i've been in that class for a while i just don't talk about it much

because i find it to be gauche uh-huh uh well i don't find it to be gauche which is why i just brought it up and i apologize for um embarrassing you for your just immense wealth that you and genevieve now have as homeowners in seattle should we i'm sure should we guys really i don't want to get into your finances but it is funny to me that boy it sounds like well based on what you've told me and again i you can cut all this out but it's like you you and genevieve are just i think really smart with your money and you really live within your means and and you're always like we don't ever want to do anything where it's like um you just again i don't like living on credit certainly yeah we don't exactly yeah and then you went out and you bought a house which it sounds like was for as it would be for anybody really you know it was definitely a very very hefty investment and moved you from having zero debt to having a considerable amount yeah and you've never been happier you love this house so much and i think it's a strong argument for living beyond your means no we've paid it off actually though we even with our other house like we always like

uh genevieve and handling the the payments here as you would expect and genevieve gets all the credit for all everything that's happened regarding this house and and getting us in shape in order to to purchase it but um like even then like we aggressively pay down our debt like we pay over the top of whatever we owe and literally it's the only thing like we don't When we when we bought our the first and only new car we bought is the car we're driving now, which I believe is a 2017 like we had Genevieve again. She gets all the credit, but like she had that thing paid off in like no time. Just like we just don't like things. So we this this house is quite literally the only debt we have other than like, you know, the weekly credit card payment. But I was going to ask you, do you think I just realized that I'm talking about things that are highly personal and not interesting. Eminent donate or gauche busters as a show title. so far those are the two that are in the running

I think Ghostbusters for the win all right let's take a quick break and then we come back we'll get into cheating at fishing tournaments here in a moment on TVTL all right let's thank some Donors of the day. These are the generous folks keeping TBTL in business. I don't know what their situation is, if they're house rich, cash poor, cash rich, house poor, rich dad, poor dad. But I'm about to speculate. on the personal finances of the next five names I'm going to read, Andrew.

You'll be happy to know that I have the tax documents for each of these following donors, and I will let you know exactly what the bottom line is.

Start with Jenny Brown in Somerville, Mass., and spare no detail. Rich of heart. Rich of spirit. But really and truly, thank you to these folks for donating every month. I mean, this is the only way that we can do this. Otherwise, somebody like me, who only did 90% of their workplace training, but yet was given a pass by the Clearlaw Institute yesterday, Andrew. More on that in a minute.

Oh, well, the Clearlaw, I believe that was due on September 30th, Luke. That can't be right. Yesterday was October 3rd. I know, but I've got a story on that anyway.

My point is we would not get to work at this place where I regularly flout the rules without the support of people like Jenny Brown in Somerville, Massachusetts, It's Kay Constantino in Canfield, Ohio.

Canfield. Now, I feel like that's kind of like south of Cleveland. I feel like I would hear about Canfield a lot when I was in the Akron area.

Okay, I wonder what the walleye fishing tournament situation is there, because we're going to get into that in a minute. Thanks, Kay. Mary Donahue is in Brooklyn, New York. Definitely rings some kind of bell. I feel like that's maybe southeastern Ohio.

I don't know.

Yes, that's far, far east of Canfield. Thanks, Mary. Ryan Driscoll is in Nampa, Idaho. When I was a kid, there was Nampa Auto Parts, and then there was Nampa, Idaho, and I always thought that it was Nampa, Idaho, and that was where the Nampa Auto Parts changed. Nampa know-how.

Oh, God, I hate that.

I hate that voice in that commercial.

Have they been absorbed by something else? Are they part of the O'Reilly's empire at this point? I'm not sure.

Is that where the Nampa-nay-nuccaneers play, though, is Nampa? I don't know. Sorry. You're the one who told me to do drugs before the show today. Nampa-nuccaneers. I don't know.

Oh, my gosh. Thanks, Ryan. Also, Kate Dunkley is in Chicago, Illinois, where I will be next week interviewing a musical genius kid. um who uh i'm very excited to talk to if he is feeling like talking his name is miles he can make any he can make produce an entire song by himself he's like six years old and he like plays all the instruments and he uh sings and he produces the most impressive part is that he produces it all um like all of the reverb and mixes it it's like really something anyway that's in chicago and i'll be out there next week so i may see you out there kate thank you for the support and then matt jones is in mountain view california matt jones what's that matt jones

i actually wait why am i blanking on what the rapper imitated who is mike jones mike jones i was gonna say spike jones that's not right mike jones i feel like is there what is the longest

Duration of a Mike Jones song Between the beginning of the music And him yelling Mike Jones What is that measurement The over on that Or the over under I'd say I would say I'd put it at four seconds I do not think there is a Mike Jones song that goes more than Four seconds before he yells Mike Jones Now I don't think that you and I That's a DraftKings bet I can get on

People also talk about the Length of time before Columbo appears In a Columbo episode I don't know if you know that But it's a very long Length of time Because they set up A whole They just drop you Into a world That you're unfamiliar with With characters you don't know And then eventually Things get hot And then somebody Gets murdered And then eventually Finally After like the fourth Commercial break Columbo sort of like Just sort of Shuffles in Do you remember So it's actually about How late in the game Columbo shows up Yes exactly Like you could have Bets on that If that was still A show in production Yeah

Now, that I love as a weird prop bet. Now, I wonder if that was because by that point that Peter Falk didn't want to have to be, and I'm not saying this is no, I've never heard anything but positive things about Peter Falk. But, you know, I mean, he was a legendary actor. He had done quite well for himself. At that point, he probably could kind of run the show a little bit. And I wonder if it was that he didn't want to be in every single freaking scene.

I don't think so, because that goes back. I mean, you know, Columbo aired because they aired as like, I believe, ABC. I could have the network wrong, but it was like the it was like the Sunday night movie. It wasn't a regular series. Right. It was like a once a month or once every couple of month event where Columbo would be in that slot. Right. And they were, I believe, two hour specials. I could be wrong about that, but I'm pretty sure that they were like. feature length and I think they always were like that even when he was a young man even when that was his claim to fame in the early ones I don't somebody could look into this and tell me if I'm wrong there must be a spreadsheet somewhere that shows exactly the length of time for each episode that Columbo makes his introduction but I don't I wonder if that was a creative decision because

they wanted to basically establish the crime or the whodunit or the whatever the mystery aspect

of it before Columbo yeah that's exactly it and so you always know kind of what happens and then colombo enter enters the scene and you got to watch him try to figure it out and i think it was just like the kind of the structure of the show interesting i actually i could see and not

just to bite your rhyme but i could see myself getting into that because i love peter falk so much and i like i veg out on the weirdest tv as it is like there's no reason i wouldn't veg out on that it's just i don't know like what channel it's on i haven't dvr'd it but i could i could absolutely see that being very soothing television

to watch. Yeah, well, you know what? My dirty little secret is... Well, we won't go into... Don't guess on that. But my little secret is that I talk about...

It's called Danger Witch, and it's dangerously good.

Perfect. I always talk about how much I love Columbo, and I do love Columbo as a vibe. The thing is, often when Columbo's on, and it's been a while since we've kind of had this, maybe we'll watch it more as winter comes upon us. It seems like a good time for Columbo. But often, like, Columbo's the type a thing that we have on in the room Genevieve's paying more attention to it I find it very soothing but I'm like paying more attention to my phone or the video game on my lap or something like that it's almost like more of a mood piece for me yeah

no it's like background sound that's how a lot of the HGTV crap that I watch is and stuff like there are the shows that I have to really like look at yeah and then there are the shows that I just like having them on yeah it's kind of you know background noise and I will do the thing that Carrie just absolutely hated um which was the two screen experience i'll totally sit on the couch and be on my phone looking at some bs while something less interesting will be happening on a giant screen about six feet

from me yeah i mean i think that's kind of typical you know um the ang uh murder she wrote um the angela landbury's murder she wrote um that was a similar thing to me too i talk about liking it and i do legitimately like it but i actually can't tell you much about the actual like mysteries that she solved because it's always just sort of it's just on and and when you talk about tv creating ambience like that's the ambience that i like whereas the sound of any kind of reality tv thing even if it's just like a home decorating show or you know like a home rebuilding show or a gardening show or whatever like there's just something about the tone of that stuff that always transitions are so predictable you know how you were describing uh the the vibe of a vape shop the other day to me any kind of tv that is that kind of reality tv has the kind of lighting and and sound of of a vape shop whatever would make me feel like just sort of like everything is just like too i don't know just like right there it's like you say two plungers really sums it up two

plungers really sums it up all right thanks to our donors today for supporting the show and keeping us here hello and welcome to top story all right this uh story out of ohio is uh pretty interesting it was um i think this was in the greater cleveland area uh it's known as the lake erie walleye trail i'm reading from the new york times vimal patel writing about this so this is a um walleye fishing tournament that's being run by a guy named jason fisher perfect and um he is uh you know they're the tournament is over everyone's brought their fish back in and uh they're weighing the fish and uh these two guys uh a guy named jacob runyon and a guy named chase kaminsky have what appear to be the heaviest fish by the way first prize thirty thousand dollars yeah for this whole situation this is not uh you know peanuts at all that i'm just going to mention that because that also i think relates to why people are so furious about this because the prize comes from the entry fees so this is also i mean everything today on the show is really about gambling because you're paying what i assume is a pretty hefty entrance fee so as if here's a thirty thousand dollar purse for first place you all have put some real money into this thing so hoping to win it to then you know it's like a home poker game where you could actually win a bunch of money you know like there's a lot like i said there's real money involved here yeah

definitely this is and this whole story has very um carl hyacinth vibes to me the the mystery writer i know and i'm looking it up now i know i haven't read tons of his stuff but i know one of his books does center on cheating. in a sports angling competition to get the kitty. Like, I swear this is a Carl Hiaasen book.

The only Carl Hiaasen book I've read is Striptease. Because I knew I wasn't going to be allowed to see the movie version starring Demi Moore. Wait, that movie is based on a book by Carl Hiaasen? I had no idea.

I'm pretty sure. Let me double check that. No shit. I had no idea. For people who don't know, like, he's my kind of beach reading. Like if you're going to Florida or someplace where you're just going to have a lot of downtime and you can just lounge on one of those beach lounges or what or on a swinging porch chair or something like that. Oh, double whammy, I think, is the novel that I'm thinking of. Carl Hiaasen is just like these real pulp fiction kind of quick disposable mysteries.

So the footage of this moment when these guys are exposed for cheating is is has been making the rounds. But what I was able to find, Andrew, because I got really into this yesterday, was I found like a different guy who was filming on his cell phone. Like I consider this the Zapruder film of the whole thing because everybody was just showing the moment of when Jason Fisher yells, we got weights in fish. That's like that's the kind of, you know, the critical moment. But there was a lot of very low level grumbling that kind of half picked up on the cell phone footage for the like because this one guy just had made like a 30 minute video of this. Like he's just standing in a drizzly parking lot outside of Cleveland just pointing his phone at the stage because there is a stage. There's like the world's most tricked out trailer, of course. I mean, I feel like we maybe we have I don't know if we have any like really serious anglers in the audience, but this is a whole subculture that's I'm not interested in it personally because I don't like again, I don't want to sound like a total snowflake, but it's like I don't know. i feel like there are other things to do that are fun besides act like like um competitively killing things whether it's hunting duck hunting fishing whatever like how about a different competition where the end result isn't did you kill the biggest thing that wasn't doing anything to you but they're so decked out in their gear with their trucks with their trailers like i like people i think get into this just because they're obsessed with the actual equipment side of this

as you might imagine well one of my biggest pastimes is killing my own brain cells so i can't really get on board with that but do you have a trailer that has eight million it's wrapped with eight million logos and you drag it behind your truck full of your jack daniels yes i do now you mentioned there's weight in the fish did i zone out there for a second or have have we set this up properly do do i mean was i googling carl hyacinth when you explained exactly what what the accusation is here i'm about to explain you didn't miss it okay good so basically you get

to catch um i think it's like maybe four fish or something you you get to go out there and you bring in your uh i think it's four or five like biggest walleye that you've caught and uh it's five actually is the exact number so you bring in the five biggest walleye that you caught and then that's it they weigh them and then whoever has caught the most weight in fish is the winner of the tournament now what happened was well let me just start by playing you a little bit of the just kind of moment at which um uh these two guys that were that ultimately got busted for cheating chase kaminsky and um jacob runyon when they're finally getting up onto the stage to have their fish weight so everybody else has been having their fish weight and now these two guys step up and the at this point the heaviest five fish equal i think it's like 19 pounds so you would think okay that's the that's the the standard has been said it's 19 pounds of fish and they're coming in i think it's at like 30 something which should have been i gotta tell

you you gotta beat 16 16 pounds 33 91 33 91 your new leaders locking in the team of the year definitely team of the year champions round of applause you got jake cominsky or uh chase cominsky jake runyon we need pictures of those fish over here stick around a while

what goes on for about i'm going to cut out like the 15 intervening minutes where it's just guys in, like, Blue Lives Matter shirts standing around going, there is no effing way. There is no way. Like, one guy's like, I saw the fish. I saw the fish. Like, these fish look like they are the same size as the fish everybody else is.

catching is catching how could it be that they weigh like they didn't bring in it wasn't like they had a walleye that was the size of a halibut yeah you know it's like these fish are just a certain size and they brought in fish that looked about the same as everybody else's and yet they're like twice as heavy you gotta get them right before they go to the bathroom that's how you get that so uh they uh so so then there's like the a certain amount like somebody's talking behind the scenes and i can just see the guy and i don't know if it's uh jacob runyon or chase kaminsky's i don't know which one is which but what happens is one of the guys after they're basically declared the winners one of the guys just beelines it out of there never to be seen again on the video the other guy is just kind of standing around but now we know because it turns out they had put these lead weights in these fish like i'm reading this guy's body language like what's going through his mind right now like he's posing with the fish they got to take a picture holding the fish up like yay we killed the heaviest amount of fish um but then the other guy's gone and now just like the the one of the two dudes is standing there and you can tell he just wants to get the hell out of there yeah like because the longer he stays there the greater the possibility that he is going to be found out and so at some point jason fisher the guy who's running this whole tournament and doing the announcing from the stage comes down off the stage and is conferring with the one of the two guys from the cheating team and then somebody brings over like a kind of a

tray and then the fish are being put into the tray and then well the guy said are they cutting it open. And then we got weights. There we go. By the way, this is the part I can play. It gets worse

from here they are they they i mean this is a group of by the way i want to give it later on a defense of why this actually sounds like a really fun kind of competition but obviously these aren't our kinds of people right uh and these types of people are i'm going to use the word scary to me like are these and when they get angry they're especially they're scary to me when i see them in their trucks they're especially scary when i hear them screaming these kind of Words at a human being and saying Where's the other one That is you want to talk about The hair going up on my arms Are we starting to see like actual physical Confrontation with the guy who's left behind Yes

And they're now surrounding whichever One I don't know if it's Runyon or Kaminsky Which by the way either Sounds like a law firm Or like a show starring Michael Douglas and Alan I know it's a second day in a row For an Alan Arkin reference Aren't they in a show called The Komitsky Method or something Oh I'm not sure Runyon and Komitsky

Runyon and Komitsky and Fishky That's the law firm

Fisher no Fisher that would be it I don't know why that one guy Is even still there because if I were him I would hightail it because now he's being surrounded By anger You're right Andrew these are the guys A lot of them I don't want to paint with too broad Of a brush but a lot of these are the guys that are gassing up their lifted truck at the gas station with their let's go Brandon flag and you're just like you want to say a bunch of things to them but you're like also do I want to die over this these guys have pissed off like a hundred of those dudes at once

fuck that fuck that fuck that fuck yeah fuck yeah fuck yeah

now the guy who's in charge of it has to tell everyone don't hurt him later in the tape like he's like leave him alone you need to let him leave although he's also doing some of the loudest yelling at them but not he's not threatening them he's just calling them a piece of s and f you and now here's the thing these two guys had won like the last three of these uh-huh and i mean think about it if there's 30 i mean that's like if the prize money is the same that's like 90 grand of ill-gotten gains i'll mention too if you haven't seen the video that what happens is they're cutting these fish open and just pulling out like peach sized circle like circular lead weights almost baseball sized lead weights are just being pulled out like you couldn't have a more clear case of cheating now here's another thing that's in the article that i thought was really interesting um this

times writer interviews somebody named ross robertson a professional angler who writes extensively about fishing and who says that the use of technology and ballooning prizes in recent years have made the sport more competitive which is incentivized cheating cheating in competitive fishing is more common than many people think there are myriad of ways for people to do so some people will have friends deliver pre-caught fish to them uh so i guess what you're out on the boat and then your friend pulls up in a boat and hands you like a giant fish that's already been caught and it still has like ice from the supermarket on it um right it's in that like

styrofoam it's in the styrofoam that would be funny honestly like this and by the way the book is double whammy by carl hyacinth oh good i am holding it here it's about cheating at a celebrity bass fishing competition so a lot of these things that sort of like really do echo this and i want to say too while i i just mentioned before that i'm not i'm i'm not somebody who enjoys fishing so this isn't really for me touching worms touching fish all of those things and then

also like you say the community is probably a new diamond song catching hands catching fish Cheating at the tournament My neighbors are definitely going to call the front desk There's somebody singing And they sound unwell

Is there any fish that rhymes with Caroline? I'm going nuts here Sweet turpentine Anyway The turpentine fish The famous turpentine fish What I was going to say was They eventually changed the name to salmon Nobody was eating a turpentine fish When you There's a tarpaulin fish If you were interested in fishing this type of competition I get why it's so kind of fun are there any other kinds of competitions where I guess this would apply to hunting and fishing but for some you know fishing appeals to me more because hunting is totally unappealing to me but you go out for the day you all it's probably the crack of dawn you're drinking everybody who's competing is probably gathered somewhere for the beginning of this thing drinking like steaming cups of coffee out of styrofoam cups or whatever like all right good luck out there today cups of bush light yeah right oh god and then and then you go out and then you have your beers and you're out there just fishing all day and like you're like hey this is a good one but you don't know what the competition is you're not watching the competition you don't know you might bump into somebody in your boat later on and be like how's how's your day going and then everybody gathers again at the end of the day to get it's just like i think that's a i i understand why that isn't a very appealing sort of competition and i guess i did get a little taste of it when i lived in new hampshire because we would go out on lake winniposaki and watch the ice fishing uh festival which was kind of a similar situation so

i get it i get the appeal of this i think yeah i do too actually i guess and i'm again i'm not trying to be such a wet blanket but for me it's just like uh me i mean i don't know could we just take a picture of the fish catch can you catch and release i know that doesn't i know that's not how any of this works, whatever. I'm sure I'm in the microscopic minority of people who are put off by just the brutality of a fishing tournament because everything else about it sounds super fun to me. I like competition. I like the idea. It's like a scavenger hunt of sorts where it's like you all meet and then you're dispersed and then you go try to find the treasure, if you will. This was interesting to me, though, the different ways of cheating, including, like we mentioned, having someone deliver a pre-caught fish to you or fishing in a prohibited area or sometimes uh they'll put fishes in cages before the competition so i guess they'll like basically sink a cage with a giant fish in it then go and then bring the cage up and then just and then uh another one that i thought was so genius this is right i have an encyclopedia brown book and why didn't these guys think of this one you stuff the fish with ice yeah and then it melts so there's no evidence uh that you made the fish way more with the ice why didn't these folks think of that um this guy uh ross robertson described placing weights into fish

as primitive and sloppy and also like why would you go so heavy you know even let's assume that these guys had also cheated in the previous um and maybe we shouldn't make that assumption but I will I'm willing to make that assumption let's assume that they've cheated in the past to get these other winnings but like what were they thinking did somebody buy the wrong size balls and they're like well we got to go with it this is all it's game day like we got to do this but like why if you're smart enough to like you're like okay 16 is going to be big we're going to go

30 my theory is human nature because they don't know that 16 is going to be where it's at so what they are thinking well what if they made what if they made their fish 18 but then

Somebody just got really lucky and had a 19. So they're like, probably their instinct is to make sure that there's no way they can't win, which is exactly like that. It's super dumb, and it's exactly why they got caught. You're right. I bet you if those fish were 18 pounds, if they would have put much less weight in there, I mean, nobody would have known. It was the massive difference between their fish and the other fish in terms of weight but not size that got them. Now, the other thing that I would have never guessed was that these dudes passed a polygraph test and a voice stress test previously because this is a thing that they do. I don't know if they, in this particular case, got to that point or not, like after the weigh-in. I'm not sure what the timing is if you do the polygraph when you get off the water or if it's after they weigh the fish. It's probably after they weigh the fish because they only want to do the polygraph to the people that are winning. But, like, in previous times, these two guys had passed voice stress tests and polygraphs, which, first of all, there's a reason why a polygraph is not really, like, admissible in court. Can you imagine? Could you imagine Ronnie in his, you know, camo hip waders, five steaming bushlights in, giving you your polygraph as you get out of the boat? i mean like that no offense but that seems like the least scientific environment to get a polygraph test it's like at the lake after the walleye fishing competition if this doesn't even work in a sterile if it isn't reliable in like a sterile police you know a headquarters like quiet room with some science you know kind of like technician is i mean that's quite that's crazy to me that they're using that as a way to try to figure out if people cheated or not that

That was by far the most surprising part of the story to me because Carl Hyasson did not mention polygraph tests. I think that is for all the reasons you I mean, I just think it's bizarre anyway that I mean, it's just bizarre on so many levels. And I'm just like trying to picture that part of it. So like, OK, before we give you your prize money, strap these armbands on. I don't even really know what you know, how they're measuring your physical reaction, but like what? And then there's and you're just like you said in your waiters, like what in

the world i had no idea about this it's like somebody's just like people are firing up their diesel trucks left and right as they pull their boats and trailers out you know to go back home for the after the weekend etc it just seems like such an uncontrolled environment to be doing this and yet those guys had passed previously now you know who didn't pass andrew a guy named edward polner who has now sued a rhode island fishing tournament because officials did not believe that his nearly 200-pound catch was above board. This is according to his lawsuit. He claims he has lost $200,000 in prize money from this. So it's these two guys, Edward Polner and Rudolph Bonicelli. They failed lie detector tests in this Rhode Island fishing tournament called the Tri-State Tournament. This is what their attorney says. Both Mr. Polner and Mr. Bonicelli had consumed alcohol provided by Tri-State at the post-tournament ceremony, And Mr. Bonicelli informed the polygraph examiner that he had not slept the night before, Polner said in court papers. Despite the fact that their alcohol consumption and Mr. Bonicelli's fatigue made them unsuitable examinees under the widely accepted polygraph standards, Tri-State proceeded with the polygraphs. So they basically won this tournament, then got loaded at the party after the tournament, then took the lie detector, failed it, and then had their $199,880 prize withdrawn.

a couple of things on this first of all i would think that being drunk would help you pass a polygraph test i don't know why i have zero science behind that it just sort of seems like you'd be like ah who gives a shit um just calm your nerves um but also you know who really hates this story are the people who enjoy the free drinks at the gala because no matter what happens here that's going away because this lawsuit is specifically saying you provided the alcohol and then you gave my clients a lie detector test i guess they according to their attorney they

passed a lie detector later but of course it was one that they had hired the person to do and i mean that that's all the detail that we have about that particular case but i find it fascinating like it there's no indication that this uh whatever the kind of they weren't catching walleye there that's you don't get that much weight on fish from that i'm sure it was some big giant ocean fish but there was no indication that like they found leaded weights in the fish or anything and the fact that these folks are suing makes me wonder if they actually have a case like that would legitimately suck if you went out and caught the biggest fish and you were in line to win 200k and just because you got too loaded at the postgame party you then don't get to win i also wonder like if in these in these worlds like i don't think the tape i played did the greatest job illustrating it but again if you'd watch the full half hour like i did you could tell that nobody at the tournament in cleveland like these dudes like in a kind of a relatively tight-knit community like that if you got a couple of guys that seem to keep winning but they're just it doesn't seem to totally make sense they don't seem like better anglers than everyone else and their fish look about to be the same size you know people start talking people start grumbling and nobody clapped when they were they were announced as the winners because they've already they already took the last two competitions yeah and i think there's so i'm wondering if these guys that were in rhode island if it wasn't just a matter of failing the polygraph like if there was something else where people were kind of talking about i don't know some kind of bs the thing that i don't understand and i say this andrew as a very sketchy person taking the money out of it because probably 200 000 is an extreme example but a typical fishing tournament let's just say i don't know what you win a grand or something you put so much more than that into your equipment your you know just the time spent doing it all like you know your boat trailer something i'm currently dealing with your whatever you're not doing it probably for the money you're doing because you love it and because you want to be good at something and because you're competitive how gross would it feel to have your friend pull up in a boat with a big fish that had been pre-caught and they hand it to you can you imagine a scenario in which i was like okay andrew i'm really getting into fishing but i need you to do me a favor i'm going to be in this tournament uh over at green lake um we're catching um catching crawdads so you know there's not a lot of money but it's uh you know i love it i just live for it no we're catching carp i don't even know what lives in green lake anymore we're catching caiman um the amazonian small amazonian alligator uh can you just i'm gonna set you up with a really really large carp and then can you just bring it over to me and hand it to me and then i'm gonna pretend like i caught it like how do those conversations even unfold it's just like i do sketchy stuff but never with that much

forethought like i might park somewhere i'm not supposed to or i might you know if i'm at a major box store and i get out to the parking lot and i realize they didn't charge me for like one of my cans of orange juice i'm probably not running back in there but the the forethought and planning i just feel like that must just corrode the inside of your soul

whatever you are on green lake you're like bring me a fish i need a fish and i come out with a swordfish billy big mouth bass what's the first thing you think of when you think of the big mouth billy whatever this the big song do i think of no what what does this product evoke for you because maybe you don't well other than joy i think of the sopranos because this played such a big this this singing bass thing played such a dark role in the Sopranos we'll talk about it off air but anyway yes I can imagine that this planning happens when you've had like you know between 9 and 13 Kurz lights you know at your buddy's house or something and you start saying hey the prize money is pretty steep this year we came real close last year what if we kind of have shaved a little bit of edge off of that competition i guess i mean yeah if you're talking

thirty thousand dollars that's real money but i just feel like if this cheating is so rampant and a lot of times it's not thirty thousand dollars it's significantly less than that like i just don't know how somebody could get their friend to cooperate or just to i mean i guess when i was a kid i did take the stickers off of my football helmet one year and hide them so that i could put them on my helmet the next year and make it look like i had more tackles so but also i was 12 and i wouldn't do that now like i just can't and again i'm saying this as a sketchy person i can't i i have a hard time putting myself into the mindset of somebody because they're part of this community that's the other thing if this was a score if this was an ocean 11 type of deal like insert um john lurie music and george clooney's talking to uh you know uh bernie mac and casey affleck we're gonna okay we're gonna hit the biggest bass fishing tournament in all of las vegas there's over eight million dollars on the line and then it's just like that progression shot of scene of like everyone getting ready if these were the kind of things

Where you could just like breeze in, hide a fish, win it, pocket the 30,000, get out of there. I could see that being something that happens because it's like, yeah, there's money on the table and you can cheat and you can. But these are these dudes see each other every freaking weekend. Yeah. They're always like you're part of this community. Like these are the people you hang out with. Like it's not just like a random guy pulled up and was like it like in sunglasses, like, hey, everyone, I'm Tom Tomerson from Los Angeles. I'd like to enter your fishing. He's wearing like a pastel blazer Gets in like a cigarette boat From Miami Vice I know I'm mixing shows

I love it I actually think there's a great Parody here you describing The Ocean's Eleven only instead of like people closing Briefcases and whatever like they're Closing tackle boxes and Instead of like putting on Sleek suits they're Putting on you know waiters Or whatever like I could Really see this parody I think you're actually Sitting on a goldmine but what with that in the movie that we made about our crime-fighting cats yesterday. I feel like we're really on a roll.

No, we're transitioning, Andrew, out of the podcast space into the intellectual property space. It's a pivot. Finally. That's how I would describe it, yeah. Absolutely.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man. It's not from a female.

All right. Oh, you forward-promoted a voicemail yesterday.

Yeah, I'm just going to play this one voicemail for now. It's time to pay it off, Andrew. Yep, this is, as I mentioned on yesterday's show, I have a voicemail here. It is a story that takes place in an airport, and actually this call is coming from an airport.

Good morning, dummies. I am calling you from O'Hare International Airport. This is listener Mariah in Chicago. I was just heading to my gate. I saw a woman horfing. Now, huge glass of red wine at like 8 a.m. Had a good chuckle about that. But really, I'm calling you because I was brought back to a very distinct memory related to finding money. It's not a bag of money. It's an envelope of money. I was in college. I was flying to Argentina. So probably I was flying through Miami, whatever. It doesn't really matter. and I was in the airport bathroom and I don't know about you but uh in my experience in some airport bathrooms they'll have these like weird like cubby things in the actual stall I think it's like you stick your purse in there okay so it's like a metal sort of cubby that comes like off of the wall okay I went into the bathroom go pee I look I notice in this cubby that there's like an envelope a white nondescript envelope sitting there i look at the envelope i pick the envelope up i open the envelope there's stacks of cash stacks on stacks so i put it in my shirt immediately and i walk out as fast as i possibly can i try to make absolutely no eye contact with anyone and i put this in my bag my flight leaves and i don't really look at this again until i'm in argentina and it was like a lot of money like hundreds of dollars i honestly don't remember how much it was because i started like exchanging it pretty quickly because if there's one thing you

want to do when you're entering south america it's bring bricks of money that you don't know the origin yeah in your bra like that's the that's the way to play it cool Like, what could possibly... Cue the Ocean's Eleven music. What could possibly go wrong?

Pretty quickly, because I was doing study abroad, it was a godsend. I come from a family that has no money, and I was scraping by to begin with in college, and I really needed this cash to get me out of a couple of jams. And it really helped me the entire time I was in Argentina. I had a great time. I still feel a little bad, but I feel like it was probably like reclaim drug money or something, because it's so weird and simple. The end of the story, I don't know how much it was, but I'm going to say like north of $500. It was a lot. It was great. Really great. So power out and look forward to nothing. Goodbye.

Stuck the landing. Look forward to the statute of limitations.

Right. Exactly. First of all, great. The dream is still alive for me. That's great. Something about it being in an airport makes it so much scarier, man. I mean, also, I am now on the occasion that I need to use a stall in an airport. I've gotten used to the fact that there are going to be signs all over the inside of that stall that is about human trafficking. And always like it's always like a stark reminder of the world we live in. I don't know if you have this experience. I would assume I would assume that you're the type of person who would avoid a stall in an airport restroom at all costs. But like you're sitting there and it's just like, you know, we take human.

Seriously if you're in trouble like call this number blah blah blah what do you mean kind of that that puts chills down my spine I think the whole topic of human trafficking is extremely fraught I think that it's a huge dog whistle for the right and for a certain kind of Instagram person I mean there's real human trafficking that goes on that should obviously be stopped I think it's unlikely that it's going through SeaTac and I think it's a way of it's just a there's a whole world of people who think they're being human trafficked because somebody looked at them cross because a person of color looked at them cross-eyed in a starbucks and then they immediately take to facebook to say everybody watch out i was at the starbucks on mayberry and there was a guy trying to human traffic me there and i'm like that's not what was happening at all

yeah i guess i i've heard of a little bit of that i don't know much about it so you're right and also yeah there's there's a lot of racial elements to that i guess i never i never really examined what i was seeing at the airport because it's like the airport and it seems like it's a federal sign I didn't think that it was part of a panic. I figured there's, oh, there's a world going on that I'm unfamiliar with. But shit happens. International shit happens at airports. Well, literally in the bathroom, international shit happens at airports, I guess. But so I guess maybe I sound a little bit dumb here, but I just sort of felt like for the federal government to put those signs up in a bathroom, maybe they're being overly cautious. And the fact that they're like kind of in the second person, right? They're like saying, if you are somebody here who is being held against your your will, here are some steps you can take like that sort of gets to me. But I guess I never thought of it past that.

I mean, definitely I am opposed to humans being trafficked. And again, I think I think it happens, but I think it happens in these insidious ways that there's not enough done around. Like, for instance, probably almost every massage parlor, and I don't mean like a, you know, high end hotel massage spa thing, but any place you drive by that just has large, like weird silkscreen, like there's no light getting in and large silkscreen pictures of people's feet. And then it just has a flashing open sign. It's like 11 p.m. on a Tuesday. The chances are the people that are working in that place are not there of their own free volition. And yet we don't do anything about that. But we put signs up on the inside of the bathroom that show like a guy like that show like sometimes a picture of a white guy. Now, it's possible a white guy could be human trafficked, but it just feels to be like it's – I think it's a real thing. Certainly, if putting the sign up in the inside of the stall somehow causes someone to feel that they are safe to actually reach out and get out of that, then yes, 100%. But I just have seen too many videos of people who I know are not the target of human trafficking or they're thinking their kids are being – they think Bailey and Kaylin are being human trafficked.

Oh, that's not – oh, God. Yeah, no, no. Sorry, that's not what I think about. Yeah, no, I always assume in an airport that they're –

No, I know, but I'm just saying that's my weird – Oh, okay. That's why I have that weird reaction to it is because I feel like the people that are being human trafficked are probably not enough of a priority because they're often non-white people and they often don't speak English as a first language and they're often not accounted for. Yeah. And then the people who talk the loudest about human trafficking, like it's just again, it's a I can't I'm not describing it well, but I'm just saying it is a weird middle America conservative dog whistle.

Gotcha. For the record, I mean, I've never seen a photo on these signs that show a white man being trafficked. I don't think they have any images, the ones I've seen. But no, that's what I always think about. I always assume that like if there if this is a real issue in an airport that they're putting up these signs, I'm assuming that it's underage people from other countries who are. But anyway, this is getting too dark, but I feel a little bit like an idiot. I know what you're talking about. I guess I didn't examine that so much, but certainly when I when I think about that, when I'm when I'm on the throne at O'Hare and I see a sign that says, if you're here against your will, here are the here are your courses of action. We're here to help you. I definitely don't think that, oh, the people that we're talking to here are affluent white people who somebody look at them funny in a Starbucks.

No, no, I don't. And I'm not like you didn't say anything. to create the response I just had. You were just talking. I just went on this whole other tangent about just like I said, that it's definitely a thing and it's definitely a thing that we should do anything we can to stop. And again, if the inside of the bathroom stall helps with that, then there's no downside. I just get annoyed because I'm thinking of a whole different thing that you weren't talking about. I'm also, if I can just say this, I have developed a theory as to why I don't think that it was wrong that listener Mariah kept the money. I'm guessing the person who left it in that bathroom was

drunk. I was going to ask you, that's what I would do if I was drunk. That's what I was going to ask, like, how do you think the money ended up there? I was thinking, well, you go ahead, just go on with your drunk theory, but why is somebody carrying around

around $500 in an envelope maybe that's airport behavior I don't know it's probably money for their trip or whatever but I can tell you that when I am tuned up I will lose I will lose something so many times and it's just on my person somewhere or I will put it down in a weird place like if I go into that stall and I have $500 in an envelope and I'm completely and totally stone sober and maybe I decide I don't want this to fall in the toilet I'm just going to place it in this box and then I use the bathroom then I just stand up and I pull it out of the box and I put it back in my pocket because my brain it's been two minutes my brain has not forgotten that I put $500 in there you give me a couple a couple to five doubles at the airport bar and then I go in there and then I'm like listening to the music in my headphones and I'm thinking I gotta like take care of this money but then I like put it in the box and then I completely forget about it

well that's interesting because you I believe you prefaced that by saying and therefore Mariah I shouldn't feel bad about it like I think less bad I feel like it my brain immediately and again maybe I just am feeling fanciful but like I immediately thought oh this is probably nefarious in some way like somebody had the money on them and then realized I don't want this money on me anymore for whatever reason like that on the block is hot and so they like throw it there like you know maybe but hopefully I can come get this later but chances are I won't it's not I don't think it's like a drop spot for somebody else to go in and pick it up but like i gotta ditch this thing for now i'm probably throwing it away but put it here in the hopes that maybe i can come back in an hour and grab this let's just say that that was the scenario i think that like in that scenario that i set up then it's some sort of very ill-gotten half a grand you know you feel good about it but if it's like some traveler who's just kind of like okay i've been saving up these are my five hundred dollars these are my five hundred dollars and i'm putting them in an envelope and i want to be careful but then i got a little i don't fly often so i got a little bit too tuned up at o'malley's at o'hare or whatever uh and then i left him there that makes

me feel at o'harry's the number one bar at o'hare that's what it makes me feel i'm not trying to

make mariah feel bad here but like i hope that it was very ill-gotten money because then she

doesn't feel bad at all well i have one last thing to add to this which is it you have to ask the question what would the realistic chances of the money being reunited with the person who lost it be and i think the chances are pretty low because my guess is that person who had been using the restroom was on their way to a flight or would be flying out and may already be you know and if it's if it is miami there's a very good chance they're already on their way to literally another country and the chance i mean you could turn it into the lost and found of the airport and there is a chance that the person might call in and that could be reunited with the money. Yeah, I think so. But that feels, an airport of all places where people are just, it's not like it's a coffee shop where the person might just come in the next day and go, did anybody find an envelope in here, you know? It's such a sort of, transitory is not the right word, but it's just a place where people are just coming and going and then going great distances. The chances of that money getting back to the person who lost it, if Mariah turns it in, I would say are pretty slim. which makes it also, I think, less bad on her part.

I guess it depends on who finds it. Honestly, the more you talk about that, the less I'm convinced, actually, because this is a side story. I don't think it necessarily bolsters my argument, but I just want to tell you this. I was at a Mariners game a month ago or something, and if somebody was trying to Ocean's Eleven me, this would have been the perfect way of doing it. I um went to pay for a beer and a hot dog or something like that right and the woman behind the counter who was a little bit curt by the way for a customer service job um goes to hand me my beer and I'm my card is already out and it's in the card reader thing it's kind of kind of sticking out it's reading the uh it's reading the chip or whatever but then as she hands me my beer and as this transaction is processing she spills the beer and it kind of goes all over the counter And it doesn't go on me And I say here give me a rag And I help her wipe it up But in doing this And they go and they get me another beer right But in doing this I left my card in the card reader And I totally didn't realize it I realized that would be a great like Ocean's Eleven scam Like create a diversion and take the card Well that was not Nobody was running a scam on me But the next beer I went to buy I went to pull out my credit card And it wasn't there Actually you know what I have a credit card and a debit card That look exactly alike And what happened was Is it Alaska? No, it's not I've got the same problem with my Alaska business What happens is, you know, I'm not used to using a PIN Because I use my credit card for everything

What's the number on the card? Yeah, right

But when it asks me I didn't realize I was using my debit card Until like, okay, finish the transaction It's like, what's your PIN? And I'm like OK, obviously, nine, nine, nine, nine is obviously six, nine, six, nine. And at any way, but I'm just like, pin, this should be my credit card. Where's my credit card? And so then I like pay for that beer. And now I'm sort of freaking out, like, where is my credit card? You know, those terrible moments when you realize a credit card is missing from your wallet. And then like a light bulb going off over my head, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'll bet you when they spilled that beer, I never pulled it from the reader. I run over I mean heart pounding I know that you can control your credit cards these days I could have put a pause on it pretty quickly but just like losing your credit card at a major league ballpark is not an ideal situation so um so I run over there I'm just like hi uh do you remember me uh I think I left my credit card here and the woman sort of acknowledges and it is the woman too that I had the interaction with last time who sold me my hot dog and beer and so she goes behind the back and i think she asked me for an id immediately so i'm like that's a good sign she didn't she wasn't like a card a credit what's a credit card um and so i'm like okay that's there's they probably have it they go and somebody comes out from behind the the you know concession area and says we've already sent it to ballpark services or whatever you're gonna have to go way down here a few more like kind of um you know sections down and then i assume it's basically

where like gina davis and alec baldwin have to go in beetlejuice yeah like hell's waiting room

there was definitely a decapitated football team i remember that yeah that's the same place no but anyway so then i go to this other part of the ballpark and they're like very professional there and it's like lost and found and ballpark services and all this stuff but it's still in the ballpark so i go there and they're flipping through all these cards and mine isn't there either they're like no we have it on they have a clipboard and they're like it's coming through here but we no longer have it and this very nice woman is like you have to come with me now we're gonna go to the office and i'm holding a beer that i just bought by the way and so i'm like can i bring this with me she's like yeah yeah come on come on and we go all the way downstairs to the entrance do you remember luke when we did a show from t-mobile park or i guess it was whatever a safeco field at the time uh before a game even began and you and i just sat in the empty seats and recorded an episode of TVTL back in like 2014 I think that was um 2015 uh we had to enter the ballpark through like an office an actual like kind of office that's in the bottom of the ballpark and so we walk into there and then finally like somehow my credit card ended up in like the president's office for some reason Jerry DePoto had my credit card and I don't know exactly why but it was amazing that in like it was like this is a four tool credit card we see a ton of upside We're really excited about what we think this credit card can do Here's the point of my story He used my credit card to lock up Castillo for five years You can send me your thanks Anyway, I just thought it was kind of interesting First of all, that in about two innings worth of time My credit card traveled such distance in this ballpark From one person to another They did have it tracked pretty well But as we're going to the third location I'm like, what are the chances this thing is even going to be there But luckily it was

yeah i guess i would have assumed that it would just get thrown into a drawer you know that that's like probably full of those things and at the end of the game they would just you know bring them all down and dump them or something i left my uh card at a like bar restaurant here in portland a while ago and i went back i could tell that's where it was because i checked my account the next day and it was the last place i'd made a purchase and so i went in and well the thing that had happened was i forgot that i had a tab going so i had paid in cash so that was the confusion because the bartender came over i said i'll settle up and they said it's this amount of money and i just gave them cash so i go in and i'm thinking first of all i was stressed because i was like they're gonna hand me the credit card with the you know the bill like my receipt wrapped around it yeah and i'm gonna have to explain that i had paid cash and then they're gonna not believe me and then I'm going to end up just paying for this you know these drinks twice and stuff so I walk in and the lady's like what can I do for you hun and I was like oh I left my card here the other night and she goes what's the name and I give her my name and then she just brings over like I don't know 10 15 however many credit cards they just have there because you know bars always have like a bunch of cards that people have left probably because being too drunk and she goes credit card roulette she just starts she goes which one's yours and she starts throwing them down on the bar literally just throwing them on the bar and then i like see mine and i grab it and and and i grab it and i go do you want to read the back of it it says my name she goes no that's fine i was like okay well this is one kind of system like i'm glad it worked but i'm glad it worked i'm glad i didn't have to and she didn't even ask me about the like if i owed anything it or something and i explained i was like i paid with cash she couldn't have been less perturbed she was not overly obsessed with the chain of custody of these credit cards let me ask you a

question can you give me the name of that bar and what time you went in because i just out of curiosity you have a new favorite bar i have a new favorite bar that i like to go into in the afternoons and ask uh if they have my credit card yeah that is a bar i'm not going to give its no

No, please don't. But I am going to tell you that what they do do at that bar, which is very dangerous, is, and I don't even know, this is not even legal. They literally just, at a certain point, will close the door, like at two, and if you're in there and you're chill, they don't stop serving.

Oh, nice. I do like this bar.

It's like a, it's not a speakeasy, though, because it's like.

It's not one of those, like, cheesy, like, we're opening up a speakeasy.

No, you don't have to, like, you don't need a password. You don't pick up a phone. it's just a place that has no regard for their liquor license that's great i love it i mean it's wild so they have a poker table there i i seriously do not want to blow this place spot up i also seriously can't go there because it's i need to i need some i need guardrails right yeah but like the first time i was there because they have poker i was playing some poker and i was trying to sneak like it was you know it was last call and i was like oh i'm gonna get you know and by the way this place is walking distance from my house i want to mention lord um which is part of how i found it it's not a particularly it's it's a let's just say it's a well-worn location right it's like it's it's definitely got all kinds of folks in there and and whatever it's kind of a scene but um i go in and so it's getting to be last call but i was like i'd like to maybe have one more drink before last call and so i'm i'm like pausing my poker hand and i'm going to the bartender and i'm like i went did i did i sneak it in did i get the order in or something and he goes we just keep serving can i ask you a quick question you're playing turn the music off at two they turn the music off they lock the door and then at about 2 30 they just turn the music back on and keep going i don't know when i mean i didn't i left i don't know an hour later but i i think it sometimes might go until like eight the next morning were you playing actual poker with actual people or you're playing video actual poker with actual

people they don't have um video machines okay gotcha you said you paw you can so at some point no i just meant i stepped away from the book okay gotcha gotcha you didn't hold everybody i you know me i know nothing about that world so i was just sort of curious so funny how your first thought was were you inconvenient i just i just pictured a cowboy saying get a rope it's like all you do

in that scenario this is for future reference andrew if you're ever at this bar with me and you're playing relatively high stakes that's gonna happen yeah and you're trying to get uh one more jameson neat from marcello um all you do is you just muck your cards and then you get up and just the the the game goes on without you it's a completely socially acceptable thing within the game but no i mean i'm like i my guess is that this will not go on indefinitely because i think this is this is occurring during a real sweet spot where the portland police department has decided that enforcement of any rules is their lowest priority yeah because all you'd have to do is it's on a busy street if you were a cop and you were driving down a busy street and you everything's dark it's three in the morning and you look to your right and something is lit up with people in it toasting each other i mean it is flagrant i don't know what's going on even i

mean all uh like kind of policing talk aside i don't know that a police officer would necessarily break that up if anything a police officer might tell if the police officer cared they might tell the liquor control board but i think that would be a different like kind of arm no i guess you're

right i'm just like i'm just surprised because for good reason most legitimate establishments in any place i've lived tend to be really careful you know you can't take that drink outside you can't and it's because to lose your liquor license is i mean it's catastrophic to the business and so So, you know, however fun and chill a place is, there are lines that are not crossed because they endanger the existence of the business.

Yeah, I wonder if there's a connection there or something. Somebody knows that they're not going to get in trouble because somebody knows somebody. Like, that's – I love that. I want to be in that place. I don't play poker. I do – I got an image of myself, by the way. You're like, okay, Andrew, here's just – would you say muck your cards? I don't even know what the fuck that means. I don't know what the muck that means. What did you say? Rake your cards? Muck your cards? What did you say?

Muck your cards, which is just if you're – it's basically folding your hand. But the reason that the muck – sorry, I'll just do this very fast. The reason that the muck matters is because all the cards that people have thrown away are in a little pile in the middle of the table before they're collected up by the dealer. That's actually called the muck. Now, you could throw your cards away. Let's say that you don't like your cards, so you just toss them down in front of you. But if they haven't made physical contact with that pile of cards, the muck.

You could still pick them back up and play them if you wanted to, and the betting course of bets allowed you to. In other words, your cards are not super completely irrevocably folded until they hit the muck. And I've actually seen games where the reason this comes up is that you're at the very end of the hand, right? So in other words, all the bets that can be made have been bet. One person says, I've got—one person is just frustrated, and they just want to throw their cards away because they're like, dang it i don't have the winning hand but they don't even know what the other person has they're just so down on their hand they throw it down and then the other person turns over their cards and the person who disgustedly threw away their hand realized they actually had the better hand if those cards have not made contact with the muck they can pick them back up and they're still live

it's like the opposite of a tackle in football like if you're just on top of other players you never actually touch the ground you're not right you're not down by contact right i sounds like you were gonna ask one other or say one other oh i was just well i mean it's ridiculous but i i just love the image of because i do love everything about this bar i like being in places where people are gambling even if i'm not gambling i think you know that about me i i remember when you took me to the drift on in like like back in 2013 or something i remember just saying to you it's a den of iniquity i love dens of iniquity it's so great um and uh but the thing is i also love the image of me playing poker like literally literally with a book called poker for dummies next to me on the table as i'm trying to figure out how to play the game that would be such a

cool i mean that would put everyone on tilt it really would because they'd be well obviously

this guy is trying to like get in our head is he some sort of a shark can we take advantage of this

doofus but inside so the exterior the the cover was poker poker playing for dummies and the interior was like 12 mind games to play with inferior poker players. Weirdly, the inside is just Dilbert cartoons for some reason.

It doesn't really make a lot of sense. We really need to go.

We're crossing some kind of river here. But when you said like an NFL tackle, maybe tomorrow can we talk about – I have thoughts about this Bobby Wagner tackle of a person who ran onto the field during Monday Night Football. Did you see any of this? No. This is the first I'm hearing of this. This is yesterday then? Yeah, last night. During Monday Night Football, a protester who I think was there with sort of an animal rights organization. They weren't fully streaking. I think they might have had like shorts on, but they ran out on the field as happens. And basically, Bobby Wagner is a Los Angeles Ram now, and he tackled this person. And the Internet could not have been more delighted with what happened on every possible level. But I kind of have thoughts about this. So maybe let's talk about that on tomorrow's show.

It's intriguing. Yeah, I'll watch the video.

Yeah, it's interesting. All right, let's call that a day here on old TBTL, but we've got some, I guess you could say good news, which is that we'll be back here tomorrow with more of this, Imaginary Radio. So we hope you can join us for that. Until then, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, I'm not too tall. And good luck to all.

Hey, guys, it's John Sklaroff, or as Andrew recently referred to me as the executive at 8 p.m., which is awesome. I look forward to seeing that in my next paycheck. So I was listening to Wednesday's show, and Andrew brought up the Do You Believe in Magic McDonald's thing. And there was a kid I was in school with that I played football with, Tom. And he used to sing a McDonald's song that I'm pretty sure was not thinking by McDonald's. He was riffing on R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly. And I'll share that with you now. He used to sing it. Tom used to sing it after football practice, presumably as his parents would go take him to McDonald's. I apologize in tone deaf, and I apologize. R. Kelly's obviously a monster. But here's my rendition of I Believe I Can Fly.

I Believe I Can Fly. Woo! I believe I can supersize I think about every night and day A chicken nuggets and a fish filet I believe I can soar See myself run through McDonald's open door I believe I can fry, I can fry, I can fry I believe I can fry Oh, I believe I can fry Power out