Muse

I was working on the design of the app Fight Me, which is an app that connects strangers so that they can fight each other on the internet. And it had never occurred to me that that could be used for something bad. I was part of the team that was developing the Yas button, which allows you to murder someone you've never met in another country by just clicking Yas. We had 90 billion data points on every human being in the world and most dogs, and we used this information to sell people mugs online that said things like, don't taco me till I've guacamole-ed. I thought we were doing a good thing. And after we altered the course of U.S. politics and I made enough money to retire at 27, I realized I was wrong.

what's that noise just the radio dear I just want to use my muscles and my mind and be your number one guy using my muscles and my mind

come on is that even a celebrity he's no Roy Donk but he was a regular guest on the Colgate hour okay this is a rumor that's out there on the internet and you think it's nothing tell you what I'm gonna look into it okay quick question the internet that's the one with email right yes got it I'm on it

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Sweetie, have a good show. What you do is so important.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I'll say, what's up, dog?

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where we get a drizzly morning. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. It seems to be stabilizing a little bit as I look out the window. I'll tell you where it's really wet, though, is where my left foot usually is placed while I'm standing doing this show. I'm in bare feet right now. I'm dressed. I'm fully dressed. I have, like, a proper shirt and even jeans on. But sometimes, if I've just gotten back from a jog, I will be in bare feet. I just like the feeling of the cool carpet between my toes. uh today that cool carpet is soggy because the cat decided to dump an entire clean canteen of water out while roaming my workstation last night i.e this desk just part of a larger pattern of misbehavior from this cat that is i'm mad at you dad she has totally like i don't know what is going on but she is like you know uh how uh sometimes prisoners will clog up the toilets in their cell if they're feeling they have no recourse if they have no way of of actually affecting change or having their voice heard and that's of course a very serious situation this is a less serious situation yet the cat is i think i believe andrew was the one who coined the phrase katika katika on the show the other day that is what's going on here all kinds of

mischief which we'll tell you about there is something about the soul of a cat i've got to

get in all the bubbles references i can before before bingo walsh has shows up at andrew's house so we're just trying to really cram in that content here on episode 3786 let the fun begin in a collector's series uh r.i.p twitter hi everyone welcome to my twitter again or are we just giving Elon Musk the attention that he craves. He is now redoubling his efforts to buy Twitter. I read a piece in the New York Times today by Kevin Roos, the great tech writer Kevin Roos, that just left me feeling initially very bummed out and then kind of relieved. So we'll get into that. Also, time permitting, we will talk about the news that that movie Rust, starring Alec Baldwin, where, quite tragically, someone lost their life, is going to resume filming. So who needs a movie? And that's interesting. I can actually kind of see a couple of different arguments on if the world actually needs that movie that generated such a tragedy in its filming. But anyway, we'll talk about that, plus emails, V-mails. And this guy, the longest-running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I'm dealing with the whole incorrigible cat situation But I know I can lean on him Because he brings it day in and day out It doesn't matter if you have one ass cheek and three toes I will beat your ass He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now Good morning my friend Good morning Luke How well do you remember the beginning of yesterday's show do you remember well which beginning the little hiccup we had the beginning that the listeners heard or the beginning where i got 10 seconds into my spiel trademark mike peska and then did a very unusual thing for me where i just said andrew andrew andrew andrew can we stop the show because i had right before we start like literally right as the the the pre you know the intro tape was ending and it was my turn to talk i swallowed a big glug of water from the very same clean canteen that would later get knocked over by the cat and i did that move where i somehow swallowed a bunch of air before the water got down there so the water was just sitting on top of an air bubble that was like going down the elevator shaft that is my esophagus and it was a surprisingly painful and be surprisingly disruptive to me being able to form words yes and that's very

rare and of course the listeners didn't know any of that because we edited out and it was it was It was only a matter of days before it came up, though, I'm sure. Well, yeah, that was yesterday.

I feel like I'm pulling one over if we do a false start on the show and I don't reference it.

You're not, and I'm bringing it up, and I'm bringing it up for a reason here. So that was yesterday's show. I'm having trouble speaking today. That was yesterday's show, Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers. Is that how that exercise works?

Have I ever named a show, Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers?

I don't know, but I just like the idea of saying it as slowly as possible to prepare for your show. Maybe I should just stop talking so fast. So that was yesterday. It was a clean, easy edit. Like you said, it's so rare. I could count on one hand the number of times you have sort of aborted an intro and asked to restart it for a reason like that. And we've been doing this for a decade together or what have you. So anyway, no big deal on any of that. except as I'm going back and listening to a little bit of the show yesterday, just the beginning part, you know, I just posted it online, and I wanted to make sure that everything sounded okay. Oh, and we also have a new little pre-roll running for our friends over at the Splendid Table, so I heard that, and then I just let it... Turkey Confidential. Is that what the pre-roll sounds like? I assume if you name something Turkey Confidential, it needs to be whispered, right? That would be so much better, yeah. Francis Lamb just whispering, just ASMR-ing it Oh, I'd pay extra for that I know, that's probably why he didn't do it for free Anyway, so I'm listening to that And then I just let the intro roll a little bit And now I've clipped this out Listen for this I wonder if you heard this in the moment And then just sort of dismissed it But listen for a noise here in the background This is going to begin with you talking I believe you introducing yourself And then playing a Nicolas Cage drop And then there's a noise My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Doesn't he look like the kind of boy who has to fight him off? Yes, he does.

Coming to you from the Hollywood... Did you hear that? Dude, let me play it one more time. He has to fight him off. Yes, he does. Coming to you from...

So here's what happened.

I did not hear that in the moment. And, you know, I enter kind of a state when I'm doing the opening bit there. So I did not notice it at the time, but that is very funny.

So here's the deal. When we do that intro, I mute my microphone, I mute your microphone, and I hit the intro tape. Then when it's getting near the time for you to talk, I unmute you, but I remain muted. And then I spend the time that you're talking at the top of the show constantly clearing my throat without even thinking about it, and I'm muted. But because we had that little hiccup where I unmuted my microphone and you and I had to talk down the line, I didn't re-mute it when we picked up and I forgot. And so I'm in the background and it sounds like I was subconsciously maybe even clearing my throat to the tune and rhythm of the weird Nicolas Cage drop.

Yes, he does. Coming to you.

Like you could have been, it actually seems, yeah, like you're responding to it and your response because I know that's a weird. Okay, now I will tell you about my experience of round two of yesterday's opening three minutes. I love that drop. It makes me laugh every time. It's also deeply weird, and it's one of those things.

Doesn't he look like the kind of boy who has to fight him off? Yes, he does.

Wait, did you just do that again? Yeah, I just wanted to add it in. Wait, that's not on the tape now. That's not how audio works, is it? But, like, I love playing that drop, but I do get obsessed with drops, and I don't know if they're the drops that the listeners care about or like or not. And so as I was playing that yesterday, while you were going, mmm, or whatever, I was thinking, is this too much with this? Is this annoying? And so I was having a whole thought about it. And had I heard you make that noise, which I didn't, I would have totally interpreted it as you confirming my worst fears about you and the listeners and everyone else's.

being like kind of like why is he trying to make this a thing so i'm glad i didn't hear it because it would have really thrown me off because of my pre-existing insecurity around the topic well

here's why i thought you might have heard it because i oh you're getting a fax that's the cat

on the fax machine andrew i swear to god i swear to god this cat is is like it you know it's it's spooking season and this forget smile forget all of the whatever the the trending horror films are i have a horror film for you it's called cat and it's just about a cat that has decided it's going to destroy its owner's life yeah it's rough i was just gonna say i was that the only was that the only bit of accidental tape that got or the accidental groans that stuck to the tape well

and i don't know if this is really interesting to um to tag this with but the thing is at some point during the intro yesterday i did realize my mic was open because i was about to do that again and i started to clear my throat and i started to make so what you hear here is the end of the throat coming um but like i i must start them well i'm sure i have a whole arsenal of throat clears that i do subconsciously and you were talking and i started to go like that and then i heard it over the microphone and so i quickly muted my microphone and i thought that maybe that had distracted you the tape wasn't good but i just remembered doing it but i didn't remember that earlier on i had been just clearing my throat like a madman and in a weird way too that's the that's the thing that really gets me it's the it's the extended coming to so anyway can i just um i

don't know what the legality or the sort of professionalism of this is but you know i'm a huge fan of the howard stern show and even though he's there's nobody who understands podcasting less just like as a concept and who derides it more than howard stern which is it's a funny thing to be sitting around just like paying you know hundreds of dollars a year to have serious satellite listening to it every morning at least when they have a new show talking to our friend p fletch about it etc and also have him anytime podcasting comes up it's just like he wouldn't wipe his ass with a podcast yet it's not that different than what he's doing is right like well exactly i mean there's i i would say there's about 20 million differences between this yeah and what they're doing but um but yeah it's funny because it is it's very similar he just doesn't understand it that's okay um but i'll find myself driving around having these like i will i will imagine a moment where somehow i'm talking to howard stern and i mentioned i'm a podcaster and then he does his thing and then i try to come up with a like super airtight concise sentence that explains that this is a real thing you know this is how i spend a lot of my time anyway so the producer on that show the longtime producer is gary dellabate and there is a running bit that he clears his throat too much oh yeah right i think i knew that and they're always playing audio of him they have because either he doesn't have a cough button or you know if he's in the studio like before they all went to their separate homes for COVID, which they're still doing that. When it was a studio thing, he'd come into the studio and he'd be clearing his throat. And it became this thing that everyone kind of gives him shit about. And so they make these. This is just what I was able to find on the internet. But there are these super cuts of him clearing his throat. Here is him clearing his throat to the tune of Sweet Child of Mine. Somebody has made this. that's actually not very great some fan made that i think sometimes when going for the rhythm is an interesting move there the actual like when the real producers of the show like make a thing that's just like some kind of song or joke out of gary's throat clearing it's actually such good radio i believe which brings me to the point that i mean we're leaving a lot of radio gold just lying around by muting our mics oh sure we need to have we need a complicated system wherein because i do the same thing so you're muted and like sort of obsessively throat clearing as i'm doing my little intro and then as soon as you start talking first thing i do mute my mic and start obsessively

throat clearing that's a new thing that i've learned diverts that audio i can't throw it right back to now like it back in the day sometimes i would go on a little tear sometimes i would just ask you a question but like now i do realize you might you need that moment to take a sip of water by the way the irony is while you were just talking like right there luke i muted my microphone and just cleared the heck out of my throat for about i just did the same thing while you were

talking but i'm telling you there's no recording of it what we need if we want to fully and completely rip off the howard stern show which has been very successful over the years we need to figure out a system to get those things recorded because right now they're just going into the ether. Yeah, like turn the mute button into actually like a switch. that just sends the audio to a different place like an ab bus or something exactly yeah so it mutes it going out but it records it and stores it somewhere cleared my throat again how was it

it was pretty satisfying oh honestly the one the problem was so last night uh we uh had this uh fancy pants uh gala for live wire which was so fun i was telling you off air andrew i was like god they're doing this on a tuesday i don't know if this is gonna work we had such a great crowd everybody was so amped I realized maybe it has to do with the way that I consume alcohol in that if it was a Tuesday night I wouldn't go ham personally because I'd have to work on Wednesday therefore it would seem less fun to me which hmm that might bear some that might bear some consideration like if that's how you're kind of tracking your world because everybody there was having a wonderful time and didn't care that it was a Tuesday maybe because they're able to have fun on one or zero glasses of wine but anyway it was a super fun night but there was some food before but i i rarely eat before those things because i'm a little nervous also i was wearing a tuxedo which like seriously was at its breaking point like every year i put this tuxedo on and i go is this going to be the year this thing doesn't fit anymore and um i just i literally thought if i eat some dinner i'm going to be really extra uncomfortable because this thing is barely fitting And so I was driving home and there is absolutely 1030 at night in Portland. At this point, they're rolling up the streets and I was really hungry. And all I have at home is like dry roasted peanuts and some ACMAC crackers and some American cheese. It didn't sound that appealing. So look at what was in the distance, like a like a beacon. That's not a great Taco Bell. That's a kind of a desk bell. But there was Taco Bell, which is really not bad if you don't eat meat, because you can get anything. About everything from Taco Bell will be equally shitty if you just say put beans in instead of the beef. So I got some Taco Bell and I got a couple of like soft taco supremes, which were very, very delicious. But they're just full of sour cream. So I'm especially like I'm especially glottal today. I need to do a lot of throat clearing.

I could be wrong about this, but I don't think I've had Taco Bell since college. I cannot remember eating. And we did have a Taco Bell in like the little downtown area is one of the few places you could walk to for a quick bite. And of course, it's a college town and it's open late. And this was the 90s and very early 2000s. And so like, you know, Taco Bell was supreme then in those situations anyway. So and I know I don't eat cheese, so like I'm not like a huge fan of the of the fast food or fast casual Mexican places. But take cheese out of Taco Bell. You don't have a lot to.

Yeah, I mean, I like really one of the pillar foundational elements.

I mean, I would always get here's what I would always get. I was a growing boy, so I'd get four soft tacos with no cheese and just everything else, you know. So it had, you know, all the veggies on there, like, you know, lettuce and tomato. And then the sauce packets are good. You pop four of those things, like I think about, what, two bites a piece, just like a regular soft taco at Taco Bell. I can't remember the size of them.

I had a move last night on that, by the way, that I've never done before. Yeah, to keep it clean off your tuxedo? Well, no. The tuxedo's going to the dry cleaner anyway because it was warm in the theater last night. It was packed. And I was like, I realized the tux was getting a little gamey. So I'm taking to the dry cleaner today. But no, I realized I'm bringing these home. So I had them throw the whatever Del Scorcho. that's not what they call it that's like i think that's del taco's version of hot sauce but whatever their hot sauce is but i realized the couple i don't eat that much taco bell but i get that sauce i don't actually like the flavor a lot what i like is chalupa or tapatio and i have that in my refrigerator and i was like i'm gonna eat this at home anyway while watching all in with chris hayes at 11 o'clock at night put some good ass hot sauce on it and i did and it would really improve the

experience that's funny again i haven't had it in so long i can't speak to it but i i i also like Tapatio um it's funny Genevieve what's I think I said Chalupa it's Chalula Chalula right yes that's right I didn't catch that either but what if I put a Chalupa on my Chalupa a Chalula on your Chalupa I think by the way Genevieve we are a we are a house that is split in two important ways I am Tapatio she is Chalula and this might be me dismissing her experience which isn't right But I'm convinced she just likes the wooden lid that comes on the Cholula.

I mean, honestly, sometimes I have Cholula just because I like to unscrew that.

I mean, it's a fun lid. But for some reason, I think Tapatio is better. For some reason, I think it's a little bit more my consistency. But I mean, there's a little more watery.

I feel like Tapatio is a little more watery and maybe vinegary. Actually, maybe you're right about that. Cholula seems a little thick. It is a little thicker to me.

It is a little thicker and it's not quite as red, right? Which gives it a little bit, just gives a tiny bit more of maybe you're right, more of a just slightly almost subconsciously like creamy experiences. I like them both, by the way. But the other one and this one is actually way more important. But we are a house divided when it comes to Ziploc bags, especially like the gallon size. Now, I'm trying to cut back on using these anyway and trying to use more and more just like reusable Gladware containers or Tupperware or these like sturdy reusable bags. But I've really gone full grandma clink clink. That's my grandma Simsek who lived through the depression. I'm now like after using like a gallon size Ziploc bag, I'm now scrubbing it out using my soap wand and then washing it and then leaving them to dry in various places around the house because I'm sick of just like throwing plastics away. But anyway, I feel very strongly that the classic Ziploc bag where you've got to line up the two lines and then run your finger across them is a much better sealant than what I call the newish kind that's been around for most of our listeners' lives probably with the little plastic doohickey on top. The doohickey always breaks, and it does not seal as well. If you're using these bags for something like ice and then the ice melts, I'm telling you a regular Ziploc is going to create a better seal. Genevieve, again, I'm being dismissive here And she's not here to defend herself But I think she likes doohickeys I think she likes those plastic things on the bags I think she likes the wooden cap on the Cholula

I am, as has been well established on this show Very similar to Genevieve And usually I will If I'm in the store and there's the like I'm buying whatever the thing is And there's the new whiz-bang version the new improved version of the garbage bag or the Ziploc bag or the Swiffer mopping technology, whatever it might be, I tend to go towards that thinking, well, they probably made it better. I mean, a lot of stuff is better in 2022 than it was in 1972, just because technology. But I think you're right. It's not always a leap forward. I think sometimes it's just trying to create a new market for something. Like, maybe we can sell more of these if we say it has flavor seal technology or something, which may or may not even actually be a thing. I just need to get some actual Ziploc bags in my apartment. Do you know? So my Alexa went offline when I had the great 2.4 gigahertz purge of 2022 that everyone's been talking about. I said the other day that the Roomba didn't come back online. but the other thing that hasn't come back online is the stinking alexa and um so that's how i keep my uh you know my sort of shopping list it's very effective i would say you know getting one of those things purely as a kitchen timer and as a shopping list is kind of almost worth the 30 bucks or whatever they cost um and of course the privacy that they cost and that it's listening to your every comment and sending it directly to jeff bezos's layer which is like i like to say shaped like a human skull on an island somewhere in the middle of the pacific um but anyway since that's been offline i have had an extremely erratic shopping list i.e my shopping list is i walk into my local fred meyer and i go what do i think i need and it is not working at all i am going without so many basic things that i just haven't gotten around to writing a actual list and and

executing it including red meyer fred meyer is a rough store to do that and i mean depending on the size but like you know i'm still getting used to it of every choice you know i've been when i moved to this house the probably the biggest bummer about my location is that i don't have a good grocery store that i can walk to in five minutes or less that has been the case in most of the places i've lived maybe the last you love that like that i love that parts of your week and this this weekend i was preparing some food and i realized i didn't have an ingredient and i was running late remember i kind of mentioned that when we were talking about watching the seahawks game and i was kind of watching it at home while cooking and then i had to run out and i was kind of frantic and it was a real i really felt it there that i had to get in my car and like fight the traffic on aurora to get like a gallon of milk right like it's like oh this just you're like dk metcalf getting on a trainer's cart well that's when i came back into the house urgency to the whole yeah and i saw him on the cart and i was like oh what did i miss anywho um i am i started getting to know the the grocery stores and for a while i was very much locked into that fred meyer that's in greenwood right and that's like that's a good fred meyer and i'm that's my learning fred meyer that was the first time i ever mired and i was that one i was pretty anti fred meyer i thought it was too big i like a nice you know tight grocery store that i i can get to know like the back of my hand but the challenge of moving is getting to know your new grocery stores and then expanding your mind and rearranging the sections on your digital grocery list, as most people do, so that as you go through the store, everything is in order. Like, these are the channels. That I'm willing to accept so I started to lock into the Fred Meyer experience but then Genevieve said why don't you go to that what is it it's not a market basket it's a QFC the one that used to be the arts yeah is it Holman yeah and that is such a smaller grocery store and now I sort of I mean I'm kind of a I kind of am in a relationship with two grocery stores at the same time this has never happened to me before it's exciting.

The thing is, Andrew, and people know this, it's like it's it's unlikely one grocery store is going to be able to meet your needs over the course of a lifetime. And I think it's silly that we think that that's going to work.

And there are no secrets. I want to you know what I mean? Like Fred Meyer knows that I hop into the QFC every now and then and vice versa. It's fine. Ethically non-monogamous grocery shopper. But the thing about the QFC that I'm talking about here is a smaller store. And Luke, I'm going to say something to you that I've been thinking about lately since the last time I went in there. And I want you to tell me if this makes any sense to you at all. The QFC on Holman Road reminds me of a grocery store you'd go in if you were on vacation. Yeah. Does that make sense? It's like it's kind of small. It's a full grocery store, but it's not like it doesn't have a bunch of like pool noodles or goggles. Oh, that's what I was going to say.

That's no vacation grocery store to me is it's like. Oh, I love that. one store in the beach town and so not only do they have some selection of groceries but they've also got like more pool noodles than you'd get normally but it's because you're in ocean shores

right it's not like that because it is just you know it's on a whole bin it's between neighborhoods i don't even know what you would call that neighborhood it's not like it's not like a beach part of car geek oh is that car geek okay but well because it's car geek park is right there but it's not um you know it's not like you walk in and you see a bunch of toys or fireworks or other things for for beach going it's more just the way it's built it's just sort of small ish but a full working grocery store and there's something about the way it's arranged and lined up i always feel when i'm in there it started as a vague feeling and then i sort of put my finger on it the other day it's like oh it's like it's like a vacation grocery store and again maybe one that you don't marry but that you just go to for a week or two um but anyway so you know vacation grocery stores stress me out no why i love it to me that's like a we're here we're on vacation and

now we're gonna settle in because i it's weird i'm unfortunately i'm a fairly wasteful person in that i um you know my carbon footprint is larger than i i wish it was and i you know i've never gotten through an entire like box of salad greens you know like i just don't usually get to the end of stuff and you would and so you would think I wouldn't really care but like when I go when I'm on vacation or like I was just in um you know Tennessee working on that story or like when we go to Chelan or something I get this weird deep agita about what I'm going to buy because I know that I'm not going to it's like I want it to be like Tetris I want to somehow buy the ingredients and the foodstuffs that will be exactly the amount that I need or we need so that at the end of the time the end of the three days or four days or whatever it is we'll have

eaten all the food yes that is always a bummer throwing stuff away especially if you're hopping on a plane instead of a road trip yeah and i get in my head about like uh i'll just find myself

standing apoplectically in an aisle like holding like a package of like cinnamon rolls and then a different kind and i'm like are we gonna eat six cinnamon rolls or it's two these but is two gonna be enough like there's something about me feeling like this needs to be whereas when i'm home i i also waste food but it's like i don't realize it's going to happen because i'm just buying stuff i'm putting into the refrigerator whatever there's something about being like i know what you mean like it's also very fun to be at a grocery store when you're on vacation because it's like the trip is beginning and it's like we're gonna have so much fun but i for some reason get in my head about if i'm efficiently if i'm getting the right amount of food luke this is exactly the origin of

a new catchphrase in our house newish catchphrase in our relationship which is pleasantly appalled because the last time maybe we can name the show that but this is a real term that vives and i throw around a lot now because it started on our last vacation that we flew to which was in hawaii was that last christmas time maybe winter i don't know um whatever that was my heart what's that oh that is you gave me your heart and then you gave about what you did then you gave kevin covid By putting his Because that was right before your Vegas trip Where you're all sharing Kevin's CPAP machine And everybody got COVID except for him I don't know, something like that I don't know if that's exactly right But anyway, Vives and I are in Hawaii And we are at one of those stores That, I mean, this is like a real Vacation store This is like a mart, right? It's like a lot of boo

booze it's a lot of stuff for the beach and then some of the basic things that you need to survive like coffee and you know fruit juices and just very basics it's not like a it's not a grocery store anyway it doesn't matter we go there and we're picking out like it's like our first night or something and we're picking out like beer and booze that we're going to drink and there's some kind of conversation about whether or not we're going to get the huge grip of vodka or the more regular one and of course i wanted some whiskey so we're doing this and genevieve is just like you know she's doing exactly what you're talking about she's doing that math in her head like this is booze we can't take it back on the plane like do we want to buy all of this like are we are we really going to drink all of this stuff and I turned to Genevieve and I said Genevieve I think you're going to be pleasantly appalled by the amount of booze that we are going to go through on this trip and now we all when we talk about our bad behavior that we both love and are ashamed of We heard him being pleasantly appalled.

Did you manage to get through all of it before you came home?

Oh, and then some, my friend, and then some.

This is going to be weird, but good job. Yeah, thank you. Like, the fact that it wasn't wasted, even though, you know, like, I speak for everyone except your liver. When I say, good job, like, there's something.

It's not what my doctor said, that's for sure. Just kidding.

but um so i hear but i can i can i can sort of picture what you're saying about um qfc aka uh arts can i um can i just like before we go to the break and we're already halfway through the show so i shouldn't open this can but just to kind of close the loop on the bubble situation she has started this new thing now where i don't let her sleep in the bedroom with me because she's just too active at night and also um i just like would rather her not be on my bed that much etc and that's fine and she was when she was young she was pretty wild but she would just one of the things i always really appreciated about her behavior was she would come up to the door she would meow like twice and then she would get the message that now it's time to go to sleep and then she'd go back to her little sleeping area which is on this rocking chair that i have a towel on and she would just go to sleep and that was kind of her thing now she does like some i don't know even what you would call it like nightmare before christmas tim burton-esque hijinks every night i will wake up in the morning remember that uh weird uh like gerbil that would repeat my voice oh yeah yeah that little toy you had yeah yeah that a listener gave me after a show and eugene i love that thing nothing makes me laugh harder than that thing you're being sarcastic no i are you kidding oh really i don't know i thought i had i thought i had annoyed i thought i had annoyed you in colorado to the point where you were like please less of that no i was confused

because some listeners didn't like it i'm like what are you talking about like i would stop everything and just do the whole show through this thing i thought it was so it just made me laugh so

hard well that thing is broken now because here's what bubbles does every single night no matter where i put it unless i were to like lock it away in a cabinet somewhere she will find it wherever whatever shelf i put it on if it's on my desk here if it's on this table that's in the kind of living room she will find it she will bring it down to the ground she will wrestle with it and then she will place it i'm not kidding you place it in front of my bedroom oh nice cool so i open the door in the morning and the gerbil is just sitting facing my bedroom like something out of a freaking horror movie it doesn't work by the way it's broken i'm sad that she broke it that

that sucks that she broke it but i mean that is that's classic loving behavior of a wild animal right like that's like if you have an indoor outdoor cat i mean you'd say olive would do that right i mean you think it's disgusting obviously killing animals outside and bring them in but it's a way of i mean specifically saying like hey i got this thing for you while you were sleeping and leaving it there for you is that's kind of sweet although it is but it's eerie that she

knows to face the bedroom door like she's placed it this has happened i would say five out of the last seven nights it's not a coincidence then as i get out into the kind of living room kitchen area of this apartment so she has this blanket that she's had i think her whole life i got it from the the family that you know that i got her from and it had always been her little blanket and it was in her original carrier and they were nice enough to say do you want to have this because it you know it's a familiar smell for her it's just like pink kind of fuzzy blanket with like pigs on it and i just thought oh well this is fun for her this is her special blanket so i will like fold her special blanket and like put it somewhere if she wants to like sleep on it and then i started putting it on this rocking chair like so she could have like an extra nice little comfy night she now will get the blanket she drags the blanket down and drags it over next to the gerbil and then now there's a towel on this um on this rocking chair because it's like a very nice rocking chair that i got like basically for free from my friend katie or to design within reach it's the most expensive piece of furniture i own anymore since all the other furniture i used to own is in bellingham and i don't want she liked to climb on top of it and also like do her nail scratching on it and i was like so i put i put this like beach towel on it which is a great look by the way if you come over to my house you're like cool 46 year old man just using a beach towel on his furniture that looks pretty pretty adult but anyway she now just like two nights ago started pulling the she never even realized it was a towel now she knows like she just thought it was the chair now she knows it's a towel not only does she pull her blanket off and drag it over she pulls the towel off and drags that somewhere else in the apartment she um uh will get the laser pointer she'll find it wherever it is she will get it and she will bring it down to the door

pretzel used to do that when she was living here pretzel was a smart cat if i wasn't playing with her enough she would grab the the pointer and bring it to me or the or the feather game too

on the feather on the string game uh she as you heard she tried to activate the fax machine a minute ago i've had to start closing which this isn't that big of a deal but usually i have two computers that i use to do this show with you and usually when i'm done with the show i just they're They go to sleep, but they're opened, right? They're two laptops. I now have to close them because I continually come in here, and there's been an attempt at a hard reboot of the entire operating system because she's walked on it. Oh, the other thing. This was actually very funny. Because I don't let her sleep in the bedroom with me, anytime I open the bedroom door, it doesn't matter where she is in the apartment, she darts into the bedroom and hides under the bed. Yeah. The other night, I have to tell you, I was like talking earlier about how like maybe I'm maybe I overestimate people's hesitance about a Tuesday night doing something because of my own relationship with maybe having too many drinks. but like i had this night with her on like i've been kind of low-keying it on the drinking lately just to give my poor liver a rest and i've noticed something which is that i'm i think my serotonin levels are like rebuilding themselves a little bit because i'm not just flooding them with uh jameson or not using jameson to unlock them very quickly because there was a moment on like Sunday night where I was just trying to go to bed I open my bedroom door and she darts in there like she always does and she goes under the bed and I get down on the carpet and I'm like hey buddy you got to come out and she runs past me I'm like okay cool she's leaving the bedroom she runs past me and does a full loop around my butt and runs right back under the bed before I can grab her and then I like go okay that was pretty that was actually pretty that was pretty slick I you know hat tip game recognized game so then i reach and try to grab her again she does the same loop and again i miss her she probably did this like 10 times i was laughing so hard i was crying yeah she's having a great time i was having such a good time and i was like oh this is also a very joyful experience normally i just be like glugged out on the couch like half hearing scott van pelt talk about bad beats with stanford steve but i was like let me try to let me try to connect with This kind of happiness too at least Half of the time because this is Really fun I guess my point is for all my Complaining about her she does she generates these Moments of pure joy in my life that is like Actually very wholesome and Like a very good kind of Sort of nurturing experience

For me yeah and the fact that it's all based Around wanting to be around You she's not just going under a chair and Sleeping or whatever right yeah

That's right like she has figured out that she I don't she can't really be in there also I have a fan that I you know use at night just for the noise if she hears that fan go on she like oh shit you know what that door is going to close it's going to be me and the blankets out here and the laser pointer she's like obsessed with trying to get in that room so anyway i apologize if i seem a little bit distracted i

got something going on over here luke what's up you know our listener kirk kirk honda he was on the show not all that long ago dr kirk honda dr kirk honda he uh sent me a text on the tbtl text line here um just a little bit ago and he just said hey i'm just using my battery daddy right now and thinking of you so that's kind of that's about as steamy as things get on this text line and i was like oh yeah that's awesome and then he sends me a picture of it so now we're kind of really heating things up but he's got some sort of a soft case like a soft case battery daddy with foam inside and he's like what are you working with i'm like yeah i got the hard case battery daddy i'm trying to figure out here now i'm sending him images of my battery daddy this is how things go you can talk about your cat some more if you want but i got this going on but um it's just like now i'm curious does he have an off-brand battery daddy or does he have like a better does he have a battery plus like a battery zaddy maybe he's got a battery zaddy exactly So now I'm a little bit confused about all of that. But if anybody wants to send me pictures of their battery daddies or zaddies or mommies or what have you, the text line is 206-414-8285. I respond sometimes.

I have, of course, I bought a battery daddy live on the air, and I have yet to put any batteries in it. Hard cased, right? But I dream of a day.

The classic one, right? Plastic hard case, two-sided. Yeah, the hard case.

Tactical.

I want more information about what Kirk's dealing with over there. Ballistic, bulletproof, battery daddy.

Yes, yes. i keep i keep i'm telling myself that when i move up to the other house that's when my battery daddy phase will really start you know what i've been doing i've been buying a lot of rechargeable

batteries lately oh that's smart that's good yeah yeah i mean it's not even i wish i could

say it was from an environmental perspective but it's like batteries are not cheap and if i can buy a bunch of them that i can actually recharge just seems kind of like a no-brainer so that's what i've uh that's what i've been doing lately and i i mean i guess i could put those in the

battery daddy but i don't know but chances are if you only if you have a moderate amount of those things because you're rotating them in and out then like you don't need that kind of battery storage um speaking of batteries we don't have to make a big deal of this we can go to a break but i just want to tell you luke i am so excited for my afternoon because something arrived this is somewhat battery related something arrived in the mail uh yesterday that i've been waiting for for like 10 or 11 days and that is an extendo it's not really called an extendo but i'm going call it an extendo hedge trimmer it's like a pole trimmer they call it yeah we bought it used we thought it was new but just reboxed but it's actually used but that's okay anyway it came in the mail yesterday slightly more used than i thought it was going to be but i'm finally finally if the weather holds going to be able to go out back and trim those bushes that i'll send you some photos of it to show you just how tall they are for this they're not very good photos because It's kind of hard to get a good angle, but these things are huge. They're at least 15 feet across, if not 20 across, and that's just the width. And then the height is like probably around 11 to 14 feet or something, too. And I had Genevieve take some photos of me in front of these things to show my parents, like, we're not effing around here, folks. This is what I'm dealing with. So I'll share that with you. Maybe I can make it a show pic. And so I had to buy a special tool for it because I did all the other hedges with these smaller trimmers, and it was a lot of work. But now I got the big boy and I'm going to be able to stand on a ladder today while Genevieve's at work and nobody's around to help me if I fall. And oh, and also yesterday's after these messages was all about people falling off of ladders. It was our fall special. I'm really probably jinxing myself here, but I am very excited to finally tackle those hedges in the back of my yard. It's going to be something.

This is a good time, too, because the growing season is done. so if you get those things ship shape you're good until probably mid spring like so you can have a whole uh fall and winter of looking at your nicely trimmed hedges well i was wondering about that

because it sort of seems like it's definitely not the growing season for my yard everything died in my yard under the direct sunlight this summer and everything's really brown and i'm frustrated with it so i was excited for the rain to come because i might see some green again but i don't know if bushes you know i i assume bushes do not react the same way that a lawn does to the direct sunlight

maybe not to the same extreme degree but my sense is there is a well i mean there are things that grow i guess there are things that grow in the winter um so i guess not all plant life follows the same cycle but i guess it seems to me like there would be less you know photosynthesis for that hedge and colder temperatures which i think a lot of plants yeah yeah respond to by you know kind of withdrawing and you know their sap or whatever they use depending moving down to the

base of the operation etc yeah yeah no that is that is a really good point so we'll see like i say i'm just excited to and we can move on i didn't mean to drag down the show but um it's still fun because we're still in our first year here we're still in our first half a year here so we're just getting to know what the seasons mean for our house and yard and like what the work is involved

there yeah that's exciting i'm so happy for y'all i mean i said yesterday i think that it you know obviously that was a really a bold move by the two of you to buy a house during that superheated moment in the kind of seattle real estate scene which i don't think is cool the whole lot despite interest rates but it makes me endlessly happy how much you guys love that house yeah as a as a house person and as a person who derives a lot of their joy from their living circumstances when it's you know when it's the right one i love that you guys love your place so much yeah and it's you

know one thing i struggle with is it's not a it's not a beautiful home you know like my friends just moved um they just bought their first house too uh in shoreline they're living and they bought like a like a real mid-century modern house it's just like beautiful and exactly in the style that everybody really envies and just clean lines and flat roots. It's just beautiful, right? And we don't have that. We have a quirky, weird house with a rumpus room. And that's fine. Part of me always feels like, well, you know, it's hard not to feel a little bit envies. But also, and no offense to my friends, but I really don't want to live in Shoreline. Even if I live off the rough part of Aurora, or one of the rough parts of Aurora, I'd still rather live here than somewhere else. But I also feel like, I don't know, like, oh, our more adult friends are buying adult things and and we're just you know partying in the dancing

bear district or whatever i i would say that like but see i think your house is actually adorable and and very charming and and not at all like it doesn't strike me as like funky or or or something that's less than aesthetically pleasing in fact i remember when you were sending me all the houses that y'all were looking at and getting outbid on and stuff and it was just and then again this was the house that i think your agent our friend and listener sarah said something because genevieve said is it a pipe dream and and did she say something like what's less than a yeah exactly i mean in a good hearted loving way yes seeing this house and going like well they're not getting that one because that's cuter than like 10 houses they got outbid on right yeah and then you got it so i know i think i think your guys's house is really awesome and and again i'm i'm i'm just getting these foot damn dude right that's a big ass bush yeah right also that hedge is enormous

easy um yeah i'm kind of bummed you can see the chunk that i already sort of took out of the top of one of it so it sort of isn't a good representation of how big those things are because i just want to see what if i don't get a bigger tool how can i how can i possibly maintain these things and the answer is you cannot you simply cannot yeah well uh i'm excited for you

I'm big on any lawn project stuff. Yeah. All right. Let's do this. Let's take a break, you know, 47 minutes into the program, and then we'll come back and probably get to zero of the top stories, because I really want to talk about Bobby Wagner trucking this protestant. Yeah. Coming up on TBTL.

Thank you, baby. All right. Thanks. Thanks. I'm sorry. Did I mute my mic?

That really got me. Yeah, you got to mute your mic. Yeah, I know. Well, now the timing's off because we have a rhythm, you and I, where we mute. We talk, then we mute, then we clear, then we unmute, then we talk. It's like a very sort of elegant system that's now been thrown into complete disarray.

Sims did it again the other day. I can't remember if he was the broadcaster who messed it up a month or two ago when I mentioned it to you. But, man, he was one of the games last week. He was on the radio and somehow mistimed his mute button and just let it fly over the airwaves. I think they caught that whole broadcast crew, I think, caught COVID around the same time early, early this season. And I think they haven't been quite the same since as far as coughing and stuff is concerned. Really? I mean that's a weird thing for me to say publicly I'm like diagnosing but like I don't know I just never heard that kind of stuff before Well then you got two people sitting

Next to each other yeah which is I mean when you and I do the show in The same room it's always super fun but also Low key stressful because we Don't have as much control Over what the overall sound is because Yeah that's true yeah you know what I mean So that's a whole thing as well Dave Sims I have to tell you Dave Sims can now Yes do no wrong in my mind A couple years ago, I was a little leery about the whole Mariner broadcast situation, but I have come to really, really love all of those guys for different reasons. Even Rico getting choked up about the Mariners going to the postseason. Even though, like, peace and love, but Rick Riz's call of the Cal Raleigh home run was really one of the least good calls of a memorable moment, which, I mean, I guess you just have to, you have to just get into a flow state and just hope that whatever comes out kind of works. And for Riz, it didn't really work in that moment, but on the other hand, Dave Sims's call was really good. Yeah, it was really good. I've watched and listened to both of them, which, you know, means I might need to take up a new hobby other than comparing and contrasting the TV and the radio call of a one particular play. That seems like a little much.

Well, I'm that person. Like, I honestly, there were a couple of times this season where I decided whether to watch or listen based on where Goldsmith was broadcasting from. Oh, yeah.

Goldsmith and Gary Hill Jr., those two together. Yeah, that's like that's that's. pretty great although even even blowers has grown on me um i feel like he's loosened up a little bit this season at after aaron aaron has just given him enough enough grief that now they i think they

have a fun relationship you know when we have a fun relationship here i know but i know you won't need to move on but did you i tweeted this out i don't know if you were listening to the broadcast on sunday but luke it was goldsmith and gary hill jr talking about the new xlr cables that they found in their studio and they were like what are these are these post-season xl because it was the day after i think it was it must have been saturday's broadcast or sundays and he's like what are these new like are these post are these post-season xlr cables we're unfamiliar and like they went on this riff luke that went for like an entire inning it just kept on and then the rick got part of it and they were just talking about baseball and post-season and xlr cables luke oh my god yeah

it was my did you did you have a did you have a moment did you have i feel like that could that could have caused a spontaneous sexual experience for you that's everything in the world you care about i'll have the cable that he's having is that too long for a show title and also too dirty as a reference maybe all right um i wanted to thank these donors these are the people who are supporting the program and we really really do appreciate folks like julie kumasaka in marysville washington thank you julie and then rena lopez is in mcminnville oregon wow that you want to say mcminnaville huh but it's mcminnville yeah and you know what i was driving through mcminnville recently i believe that is the location of a really cool air and space museum oh with some just really cool uh planes and things and then check this out there's a water park there that i believe somehow involves a water slide that like i don't know if the slide you slide down a 747 or something or if i'm just If I'm mixing these two things together There's an air and space museum We're just like an air museum and a water park And I want to go to both of theirs Yeah, that sounds amazing Rena, let me know how that How that whole situation is down there Because I drive by it all the time now And I'm on my way to wine country And I'm always intrigued Chris Pugh is in Radford, Virginia Which is just down the street From Awesomeville, Virginia And cool daddy-o, Virginia Megan Hamilton is in Bitchin, Missouri. No, that's not right. I'm sorry. St. Louis, Missouri. There it is. I get those confused all the time. Thanks, Megan. This ain't right. I didn't have an interest. What's that?

This next one ain't right. Oh, yeah. You're absolutely right. Lisa Lee in Oceanside, California. That's not Oceanside anymore, is it, Lisa? Lisa Lee, Oceanside, California. That's now Lisa Lee in, I believe, Chicago, Illinois. Yes. If you say the S, which I do.

But Green Bay and her heart. I follow Lisa on Twitter and I just get all I get are constant updates about the Green Bay Packers and also Lisa answering music related quizzes because Lisa of course is our listener who's been to I think she wanted to go to 1,000 concerts before she turns 1,000

that's right

and she's done it thank you Lisa appreciate you being such a long time friend of the program then Amy Rubel is in Tacoma, Washington Thank you, Amy. Thanks to all of our daily donors for making the show possible. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right. Did you have a chance to—I don't have, like—I don't have a huge take on this whole situation, so I've already probably built this up way more than it deserves. But on Monday night when the Rams and the Niners were playing, there was a moment— I think it actually might have been two people got onto the field, but one of them made quite the impression. These were some folks that were with an animal, you know, animal rights group, you might say. And the guy had this like a smoke grenade that was pink and he was running around on the field and just got absolutely demolished by former Seahawk. Now, Los Angeles Ram Bobby Wagner and another player.

I watched this, and everybody's talking about Bobby, but it looked like—I mean, I re-watched it a million times, and I swear there's two players that take this person down at the same time.

There are, but the other guy gets like a half a tackle. Okay. Like, the other guy was there. He moved towards it, but Bobby Wagner's the guy that lowers the boom. Like, so this guy had been running around a little bit. He's eluding the security folks, as happens. This is actually Peyton Manning, you know, the Peyton and Eli cast. This is Peyton. manning talking about it with the b team like we should be able to show that that's why there you go oh yeah there he is yes oh yes that's what we're talking about wagner a veteran right get him down now get out and let these guys take over now the reason that the only tape of this

is from peyton manning is because there's a long-held tradition of the the main network not showing people getting on the field because they don't want to incentivize folks to do it i guess that makes sense although you always end up just seeing some grainy cell phone footage later of the person doing the thing the internet loved this people just being like you know tackle of the night and bobby wagner absolutely trucks this guy and you can hear the delight and peyton manning's voice i actually like peyton manning a lot to be honest and eli manning have you seen that have you seen that video of eli manning in disguise trying out for trying to walk onto a college football team no i heard a very brief mention of that but i never like kind of dug into it it is legitimately funny like it is legit he he because eli manning is still i mean he's fit and they did the prosthetic really well i think it was i want to say penn state might have been where he was trying out as a walk-on and but he's being such a goof and everyone's unless it's the whole thing was staged i don't think in other words i don't think the team was in on it just because i was watching their reactions very closely but he's like talking to himself he's like think fast run fast think fast run fast as they're like timing him on one of those like you know 40 you know 4 4 40 dashes or whatever like seriously he was very funny in ad-libbing and being this character of this kid with this like shaggy hair and this kind of really pronounced nose you know they had to do him all up so he didn't look like eli manning all of that is to say i like peyton manning i like eli manning i'm not really trying to give them grief over this but i i guess my thought was and maybe i'm just like the biggest snowflake or maybe i just underestimate how hurtful to the game it is for people to run on the field i didn't feel like bobby wagner had to absolutely truck this guy this hard like they would have gotten to him like the security was going to get him it felt like an act it felt to me like the rams were losing the game Bobby Wagner was kind of pissed this thing was annoying there was a gnat buzzing around him that was this human being and he decided to just smash the gnat and I don't mean that Bobby Wagner should be in any trouble for this there I just think it's funny that it was universally lauded when you have a enormous professional football man just smash the shit out of a tiny almost nude protester man and which just 100% considered the best thing that could

ever happened well this person by the way was just wearing a like a peach colored shirt like that kind of matched his skin tone i don't think that was on purpose and and blue shorts that were like oh like not even cargo shorts but you know like just kind of khaki shorts like i wear like eli totally got that wrong he kept on saying oh yeah one of them is one of them is naked but not naked anymore like what you really think that they got dressed somewhere during do you think they're reverse streaking like that joke i heard on magnum pi when i was a kid and i was totally titillated by it did i ever tell you this this is one of those no formative memories of me as i remember magnum pi which not a show that i watched regularly probably because my parents didn't let me watch fresh things but i remember catching a bit of it and magnum pi is like backstage at some sort of a boudoir situation and um the woman and he's interviewing some some dancer and she says hey do you want to stick around uh for my show i do something a little bit different i start naked and then i get dressed and he says i'll stick around for the first part i remember that joke from magnum pi like what does eli think that this person started naked because he kept calling him a streaker and then saying well i think they have clothes on now and i'm like dude i'm watching five minutes of this they're i mean whatever they're doing a live broadcast but either way there was no streaking involved both these people were wearing sort of like peach colored shirts i believe like t-shirts just regular t-shirts um and they happen to match their skin tones i think um and also i i'm with you like okay so they're trying to raise awareness i i'm sure a lot of our listeners will have a lot of opinions about this radical organization i don't know much about them it's a radical i believe it's you know it's a somewhat controversial animal rights organization

i mean this is the listener group that says we shouldn't uh that pita is bad so who knows right

exactly like because of kill shelters or whatever there's a lot of research that's been sent to me that i scanned anyway uh i i continue to not take a stance on that my my point is um i i'm with you the only thing is he's holding the smoke grenade thing right to cause the person who's running on the field to cause more attention i mean that's their point they're they're doing civil disobedience they're trying to get attention for their group and sometimes you have to take drastic measures nobody listens until you take drastic measures i'm with you on that um the person is carrying something that is smoking so unless there's part

of somebody on the sideline who thinks, like, is this a dangerous situation? Do I need to help out here? I think the football players should just stay on the sideline. I'm with you on this. I feel like, first of all, oh, look at you. Huge man in full football armor taking down an unarmed dweeb. Good. Oh, hey, congratulations, big man. And also, like, I am so sick of this bullshit of the NFL acting like what they're doing is a sacred thing or in a sacred place. like get over yourselves the nfl is a terrible terrible organization that i'm still partially addicted to so fine but like for god's sake like this idea of like now let's get back to concussion ball like you know like i don't know man i'm over that protester interrupted us

wheeling the corpse of tua tagliovoa exactly back onto the field or however you say the guy's last name yeah like this was the quote from bobby and again i'm not you know obviously we loved bobby Wagner as a Seahawk and and he seems like generally a good dude and all that he said I just saw somebody running onto the field and look like he wasn't supposed to be on the field I saw security was having a little problem so I helped them out I only read that to say I don't think there's any indication that Bobby Wagner thought it was there was a terroristic threat yeah yeah I think he just was like let's just end this again I don't think that he should be punished or anything but the just the universal delight of this of just a massive human like you said just completely crushing a dweeb who was gonna get caught that guy might be really cool i don't know well okay a much physically smaller person who's not a professional football player in a situation where they were just gonna get caught they the guy would have just run out of gas or security would have got him it was like this it felt to me like bobby wagner had the kind of like a social clearance to just absolutely pulverize this dude because the guy is not supposed to be on the field that's a real thing but it's uh but it just it's the idea that nobody was like is that necessary like is that 100 the way that we need to settle this because again at some point security was going to get him he would have just and then they would have hauled him out of there and by the way they're all like in big trouble for this he is the other guy that got on the field the guy who helped them like there will be the proper you know they will suffer the legal consequences of this whole thing it just i don't know it just felt to me like we're just celebrating goliath just smashing david yeah in this way that was that i found a bit surprising

and i'm i'm with you like i'm not upset about this i'm not losing sleep i don't think that this was a terrible thing i'm just kind of like but i'm with you that like oh everybody just sides with the huge football player here and you know and again i think this is very colored by some of struggles i'm having with my fandom these days so uh i'm sure that's part of it i will say the bone chilling part was when bobby wagner said where's the other one just kidding that's a call

back to yesterday's show now here's the thing andrew and i have to tell you this is if you want to just a peek behind the curtain of my brain and how i wanted to be able to deliver this information to you and the listeners i was like i wonder if this was bobby wagner's only tackle for the night like I thought that would be telling a way if like Bobby Wagner because you know the physical degradation of NFL players is so whiffed and you can go from being unbelievably effective to being not even someone that makes the team in a season I mean within a season it's just really wild so I was like I wouldn't this be interesting if and wouldn't this bolster my case that I'm building for some reason against Bobby Wagner if I could tell you that he didn't even have any other tackles somehow that makes it worse in my mind but this is his one tackle of the game but so i do box score i do google box score uh niners against rams and i find the game and i look and there it is zero tackles for bobby wagner and i am like oh shit dude i am about to roast this guy and then i noticed that some of the players i'm like i don't think that guy that guy's not a niner wait what who's that then i realized oh this is the box score from a game from three years ago between the rams and the niners yeah and then i look up a monday night's game and bobby wagner led the rams and tackles i was so close if i didn't like just if the still small voice didn't say wait that guy's not what deforest buckner is he a nine like if i didn't have that moment i would have just so proudly strode onto the air telling you that bobby wagner had zero tackles other than tackling that dweeb except for the fact that he literally led the

rams in tackles i feel like if that were the true stat twitter would have been on that in a minute this was such a big you know like kind of buzzy story of like everybody passing around this video i think everybody i mean no offense but i think that i think somebody highlighted i'm deeply

offended the next time i see you running on the field Nude, pulling clothes on, like some reversed videotape.

I want to find that. You know, I really scored big the other day with some childhood memory of a dark made-for-TV show starring Fonda, right? Yeah, the doll maker. The doll maker. Why can't I think of Fonda's first name? Was it Jane? Jane Fonda. Was it Jane Fonda? Anyway, yeah. Well, I just erased that win with a big old L.

Like we hope the Seahawks don't do. Okay, one last thing. and and and we we should move on to emails we'll talk uh hopefully by tomorrow the twitter news elon musk will have announced he's not buying twitter and then we don't have to talk about it and uh also they'll announce they're not continuing to film rust and then we'll have dodged a couple of stories that are will become moot hopefully but let me just say this about the about the seahawks and about geno smith who of course i like all seahawks fan and fans am incredibly chuffed about the stats he's putting up somehow my twitter feed andrew has just turned into two things one great british bake-off memes which i don't know why because i've never watched that show i probably will never watch that show and then the rest of it is just people putting up russell wilson stats next to geno's stats and like okay that's i mean again you know don't get me wrong i'm really really really appreciating how well geno smith has been playing but like let's everybody slow our roll until we have played a few more games against a few more teams that don't have uh the defense of the atlanta falcons and the detroit lions like i'm not predicting i'm not trying to predict defeat or snatch defeat from the jaws of victory but like i feel like i would really like to see i'd like a little bit more data like uh to before we start declaring i just feel like people are getting over their skis a little bit that geno smith might be the greatest quarterback of all time and yes it is delicious to see that he's so far outperforming russell wilson i just i have this kind of just i got a bad feel it's a little too quiet andrew i got a bad feeling that we at the end of this season may be looking at a fairly different narrative than we

are four games in i have a different take on that and it presumes that you and i are seeing the same tone in these tweets and maybe we are not but a lot of the people that i follow i follow a lot of sports stuff i would say that the majority of my feed is like the kind of like mariners fandom but of course there's a lot of crossover and i follow a lot of the people at 710 and what have you um so when i see this like this gino celebration i get the impression this is assuming a lot of things this is assuming things about your intake of this stuff and the intents of the tweeters and the commenters but like i feel like this is a seattle fan base that knows exactly what they have with gina or or or is as skeptical as you as as to what the future holds and is just somewhat ironically and deliciously enjoying it now like kind of like listen this is probably not super sustainable but let's just have some fun with this right now because right now it's fun and there's probably some not fun parts of the season coming up and so let's just be like totally oblivious and obnoxious right now because we can put these stats up next to each other and i just i don't know that's kind of the attitude that i i think it's putting out there but maybe i'm wrong no i

well i don't think you're wrong but i think this has to do with the different people that we follow on twitter like i don't follow a lot of mariners twitter which means i'm not getting kicked a lot of like let's just call it the thanos verse yeah and by that i mean like you know like seahawks kind of people that are like extremely online and love the seahawks and are meme lords and are totally in on the joke you know i'm getting it from somehow and i don't love this my twitter feed and again maybe elon musk will be doing me a favor if he buys that cursed platform and i can just leave it but like um i get a lot of stuff that's just from national it's like weird national shit that i never asked for i never signed up for and it's like based on your retweets or you might be interested in i feel like so much of my twitter feed now there's probably a way for me to like like sort of curate this better but i don't i get a lot of just like these kind of stat heads who aren't in on the joke who are just like and they're not even doing it in like a funny way or with like a funny meme or something with you know just it's just people being like very i don't know kind of straightforward with it it's just like i must have i must have interacted with like one tweet at one point that then set the whole thing on this weird algorithm where it's like because i'm with you like there's a whole i need to just what i need to do is just if i'm not following cable thanos i need to refollow is he still doing those videos i don't think i think he was a i

think he works for russell by the end so i don't know i haven't seen as many i'm not sure but he's still around what's his name he's like working for russell in denver i don't think so i don't

think so i saw him pop his head up what's his name cashman it's something cashman yeah it's chris cashman's cousin right okay yeah so who plays mort on our show oh right i knew that there was a mort's cousin is cable fanos they're like a they're like a what an interesting media niche that family has carved out in their various ways um stacy joe rost on uh 710 espn who i think like kind of embodies the sort of the the the obliviously sunny attitude um somebody who's also i think kind of she came on the radio the other day and she said something like she was like just bragging about the mariners and how other teams don't stack up and how the mariners haven't lost a playoff berth since 2022 and she's like and i was like i think that's sort

of the attitude that i see more see that vibe i'm here for that a hundred percent i think i'm seeing it from other people that are like sort of just being like just putting up like quarterback ratings and kind of like dispassionately just listing stats and i'm like this feels like the This was like one of the larger jinxes that's ever been jinxed. Yeah, right.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right-ly. Okay. Yeah, one quick voicemail here from listener Laura about imposter syndrome. It came up on the show the other day. I don't know why. It doesn't matter. Take a listen to this.

Hey, fellas. I have a story for you about imposter syndrome. This is Laura from Tucson, Arizona. I work for a university here in Tucson. Probably you can guess which one. And we were having a workshop for the folks in my department in this large seminar room. But our workshop displaced another workshop, which was called Overcoming Imposter Syndrome. And so there was a sign put on the door that said overcoming imposter syndrome moved to whatever room. It wasn't a great sign. It was not a great sign. I'm going to tell you why. Because people came in. It was a big group of people. Everybody sat down. We got started with our workshop. I think you can see where this is going. Every few minutes, somebody, you could tell, sort of looked around, wondered what was going on, slowly got up. And slunk out of the room. This happened over and over and over again. And I, at one point, tried to think, okay, I kind of know who's supposed to be here and who's not supposed to be here. And so I can tell who's not supposed to be here. But what's worse, to just kind of let folks figure out that this is not the imposter syndrome workshop and let them leave on their own? Or do I go to them, these folks suffering from imposter syndrome, and say, hey you're not supposed to be here and i can tell so i chose to just let nature take its course and uh yeah i'm not saying i wanted to get entertainment from that event but it's what

happened i mean you gotta move the other you you can't move the imposter syndrome seminar right you gotta move the other one that's just troll move the posture syndrome right let them i know how to be less confident move that one how do you imagine laura stands up in front of the room and

goes if you feel like you don't belong here you probably don't and then they're like oh it's immersion therapy i love this right i mean did she mention what the what the uh sort of you know what her workshop i don't think that was actually happening i don't think so no because like you said whatever whatever that one is that's got to move yeah that's just got to move you can't move the imposter syndrome you cannot move the people battling low self-esteem uh you know workshop you can't battle the you know i don't know there are a few workshops you just can't move and that's one

of them oh it says that what um it was supposed to be uh being reasonable and unreasonable times oh yeah no that one you can move all the time those people they'll just walk right out of the

building never come back that one never settles down that one's always fine and they'll be like yeah i'm doing it i'm doing the work i'm being unreasonable i'm not even going to it so wow that's like out of a sitcom or something yeah i know you just couldn't i'm just i'm trying to think of a more of like of a less uh kind of uh not appropriate but just like i'm trying to think of a situation where the people are less well equipped to be sitting in the wrong room based on what they self-identify as as dealing with i have a question for you luke and then we'll get

out of here um for the little piece of tape little easter egg that i'm going to play at the end of the show i have two pieces of tape that are related to self-esteem you have to choose am i going to go with a very short clip of howard the

duck talking about self-esteem or a very long clip of fran lebowitz talking about self-esteem well you know me i'm a how i'm gonna go all the time okay we'll do that i hope that's what you were rooting for because that's what i'm all right that's what i'm saying all right thanks everyone for listening to this we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you and also uh uh we'll do some blurs days because it's thursday so please do join us for that until then have yourself a great Wednesday I usually say go Mariners but what I would say tonight is don't go Mariners just stay in the dugout nobody nobody go on the field don't go anywhere near Bobby Wagner for God and if you go on the field don't try hard at anything we need all of you please all right see y'all tomorrow have a great Wednesday and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

I think it's very important that writers write in a real voice, in their own voice, but only if they're really good writers. And I have noticed, and surely even someone of your 10 years have noticed, that too many people are writing books, period. Okay? There are too many books, the books are terrible, and this is because you have been taught to have self-esteem. Thank you. And apparently, you have so much self-esteem that you think, you know what? I shouldn't keep these thoughts to myself. I should share them with the world.

You know, this is beginning to seriously undermine my self-esteem. Power out.