Muse

Gee, Mr. Artoonian! Oh my god! The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! Well, I wish I could get that excited about that. Nothing! Are you kidding? Kate, 73, Johnson, Naven, R! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people! This is the part where I'm supposed to do the whole intro thingy.

I value confidentiality, and paradoxically, I don't care who knows it. Can I just stop here real quick and just say, what a wonderful atmosphere you have here. You'll be staying with two of our undergrads in their dorm rooms. And what's a dorm room? Oh, it's where the students sleep. Oh, a room chair. Oh, I like that. And, you know, maybe eating meals with them in the dining hall. And that's the cafetorium.

They're going to throw the book at you, you know that? And you know what else? I'm going to let them. Because I have a lot of pull in this court system. Don't ask me how or why. How and why. A judge ran over my face when I was six. Alright, let's get to the good stuff.

Alright, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL. The show that just might be too beautiful to live. A special Monday edition because, of course, it is a holiday today. My name is Luke Burbank. By the way, right over there, my dear friend and trusted ally, Mr. Andrew Walsh.

Good morning. Good morning, Luke. When you don't do your introduction with all of your drops and everything, I lose... It really cuts into your throat clearing time. That's exactly what I was going to say. Now where am I over?

Well, I'm sorry to keep it so brief at the top, but I was realizing that I was totally confused about what day today is. I was under the impression that Columbus Day had been canceled. I mean, literally, we didn't call it Columbus Day anymore. And that it was called Indigenous Peoples Day But then I was doing a little quick googling As the audio from the film The Jerk was playing And I realized, no, Indigenous Peoples Day Is a different day of the year And this is in fact still called Columbus Day Which I feel weird saying I thought we all agreed, that guy sucked

Yeah, that is news to me Because I'm looking at my Google Calendar right now What is it saying? My Google Calendar, which auto-populates with holidays It says it is both Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples Day as if I could choose my own. So, yeah, I'm confused by whatever you just saw online. I thought that I thought that. Oh, you know what?

It's a different day in Canada. Oh, I looked up Indigenous Peoples Day. And then the first thing that popped up was Wednesday, June 21st. And then I just trusted Google implicitly. I didn't look below that says, oh, no, this is National Indigenous Peoples Day.

in canada well here let me look it up let me look it up on the blaze let me see when they say indigenous people's day is sure you want to check you don't want to check gateway pundit

see what the fox news website has to say about it okay good so we can say uh a happy indigenous people's day exactly that's good i was i'm really glad to hear that this that is what we're calling today because if we're just if the only option is columbus day that would feel kind of gross to

me yeah no that's that's why a lot of people have today off i think it's okay to say we're uh we're keeping the we're following our hot our holiday model with today's show i almost said our hollywood model that's what i aspire to be a hollywood model someday sure we're gonna uh a guy stopped

you at the mall and said you have a certain look here's my card hollywood modeling agency you know

the weird thing is the card is all wrinkled and the edges aren't as crisp as they once were i feel like coffee stain like someone was using it for a coaster he opened up his briefcase and he had an apple with two bites out of it there interestingly enough um so yeah so i'm excited you're indulging me i went to the post office the other day and checked on the uh tbtl po box and i'm gonna i'm being completely honest with you here luke we got the po box because people from time to time would say hey i want to send you something where can i send it and we never had a good place for that um so after years of people saying could you please just get a po box we got one and earlier this year and you know when the po box was new i would go and i would check on it and it would be very full sometimes even overflowing which i don't think they appreciated the post office and i was like oh wow that's nice everybody's really excited about the new po box but i really thought that after a few weeks i'd start checking on this thing and i'd open it up and it would be like i don't know a receipt from the p from the post office in there and maybe a spider looking at me quizzically and maybe one or two postcards right not the case apparently this is still a hopping place in the tbtl universe

Because I checked on it the other day, and there were many packages and cards and postcards in there. So I'm going to try to go through as many of these today as possible with you. I mean, the only problem with this system, as I see it, is that you went to all of the trouble of setting this up. And then you also go check on it regularly. You also bring home all of the stuff. You also have to deal with the packaging. And in exchange for this, you also get to keep the stuff, which feels like some real BS to me. I'm getting nothing from this P.O. box. Well, you know, I'm doing nothing and getting nothing from this P.O. box. I don't feel like having this P.O. box so that I can then go to the post office and repackage things up and ship them to you in Oregon. But one thing I like. I promise you I'm 100% kidding. Yes, no, I know. But one thing that I do enjoy is that I've been getting some hey dummies questions on the backs of postcards. So I might mail you some of those because I feel like that adds something to our Hey Dummies videos. Ooh, I see a little. If you can read it off of the actual postcard. Well, brick and mortar, Hey Dummies. Yeah, so I'm not going to read those to you now. I might send them. I will give you a little spoiler, though. Apparently, James, our video editor, I didn't even realize this until today, he's been sending us Hey Dummies questions via postcard from around the country during his travels. They're all signed. I love it. Your trusty video guy, James. And they're more aimed at you. There's some good questions here. I don't want to spoil them for the videos, but I'm going to mail those to you in an envelope. But we'll get into that in a little bit. I told you before the show, though, I wanted to update you on something. Yeah. You're celebrating Coyote Day. Yes. Now, I mentioned this last week, and of course, I think it was last Friday that I mentioned that Coyote Watch in my micro-neighborhood continues. A lot of neighbors are emailing this neighborhood list serve that I find myself on, kind of letting everybody know when they've spotted another coyote. At first, I thought there was one coyote. Can I say coyote? Yes. I mean, is it interchangeable? Okay. I'm trying to make that a thing if it's not. That extra syllable, I mean, you add them up. Well, because I've been saying coyote a lot on the show, but that feels inauthentic to me. Like, I'm trying to be, like, you know, some kind of Western rancher. We got coyotes. So then I'll go back to coyote when I'm feeling insecure. Right. Exactly. So on Friday, I mentioned that there was kind of a newish chain that I think, you know, like somebody sent out an email and people were responding to it that had just been published. somebody just sent it out on friday saying like hey i saw one or two of the five coyotes we now believe are roaming these streets and in a park nearby and then um some people were responding well since then luke listen to this i'm gonna start not naming names here i'm gonna start leaving people's names off these emails because things are getting a little dramatic i would say A little juicy on here.

So a couple of emails go out saying, hey, here are some more photos. We believe there are five of these, including some pups. Be careful out there. Keep your pets inside, whatever. Then somebody, one of my neighbors, writes to the group, I just wanted to mention. There's something about that. I just wanted to mention. More of a comment than a question. I just wanted to mention that we do have a neighbor, not in this group, who is actively feeding the coyotes. I have tried telling this person to stop, but they are quite set in their ways. Now, I noticed that this person who posts this is using non-gender specific pronouns here. I have tried telling this person to stop, but they are quite set in their ways. Now I immediately start one I don't know a lot of my neighbors But I have one neighbor who's kind of kooky And I immediately text Genevieve I'm like do you think this is so and so And she's like no I don't think so Because even though he is really kooky You think it's Coyote Kurt I was thinking I didn't want to use names I would put him at the top of the list I mean they call him Coyote Kurt for a reason He's got I don't think it's him He's got a tattoo on his bicep Of a coyote howling at the moon With a little word bubble that says feed me um i mean i'm not i don't think it's coyote anything that makes me suspect him less anyway so i asked veves i'm like do you think it's this guy and she's like no i don't think it's that guy because even though he is weird and kind of a little bit of a of a kook of the neighborhood and creates some some tension in the neighborhood he considers himself my suspect is he the guy who's banned from the list yes there is a guy who's banned from the list so So the fact that they said this person is not on here and and, you know, they didn't use any pronouns or whatever. I'm like, I'll bet you this is this is our guy. Genevieve said no, because he's really he really does fancy himself like a true outdoorsman. He's an older gentleman, but like. He goes out on these adventures. He will go and, like, do what some people would call, like, kind of, you know, like, survival trips, although he doesn't call them that. He just goes camping without a tent for five days and then just comes back. Yeah, he is. He's an interesting guy, but it doesn't seem like the type of guy who would feed coyotes, right? Anyway. He might kill them and wear their furs as his rain mint. He's got one of those hats. You mentioned this kind of hat the other day. I think you might have even bought one, but his is like very well worn and and has sweat stains on it. But it's like the kind of wide brimmed hat that goes all the way around.

Didn't you just get a man from Snowy River? Yes, exactly.

And he was a duster. He was kind of he was out in his front yard the other day. Genevieve and I passed him and it was one of those, you know, it's it's late summer here, I guess, early fall. And so the sun was coming down in the afternoon on a Sunday, I want to say very low sun. And it was just baking his front yard in that very golden light. And he was just sitting out in his front yard in a camping chair with his head bowed down. He looked like a silhouette or a character. He his head was bowed down. So his entire hat was blocking his face. And he was just like slumped over in his chair, just like sleeping the sleep of cowboys. I was a little bit concerned as to whether or not he was going to wake up. He did. I was glad to see that for real. It was one of those things where I kept checking in.

It's Raymond. It's not raiment. I've always said that word wrong. Oh, of what are you talking about? Are you talking about the. Like a garment. I said he was going to wear the coyote skin. It says raiment. Oh, I didn't even hear you say that. Raiment. There's no N. I don't know where I got that from.

Well, anyway, my curiosity was piqued about like who's feeding, who's feeding these coyotes, right? So one person weighs in and just says, that is really upsetting to hear, dot, dot, dot. Wow. And then another person writes in. These are all different people. this uh person specifically being fed cat food as of two years ago and the conversation i had with this person i suspect this is why experts say it's super rare for coyotes to do anything with cats yet the neighborhood has been wondering for years about the poor kitties that are going missing whoa so this person is now implying that um they also had a conversation a couple of years ago with whoever's and i'm now the person i described in the cowboy head or whatever i don't think it's i don't think it's that guy anymore i'm thinking this is somebody who lives closer to the park but now they're saying that yeah i had a conversation with this person two years ago and this person was uh feeding uh cat food and i asked them to stop um and uh another person is now weighing in here we've caught one neighbor putting leftovers inside the gate near the planter a couple of times if we spot it in time to grab it we go and get it so it's just like a lot like it doesn't take long for these message boards to become a lot of like kind of finger

pointing at other neighbors even though you thought you were on the better version of next door well i didn't it's disintegrating into next door well i think it's always been a little bit

like that for the record i didn't sign up for this genevieve met a neighbor who's a very very nice neighbor by the way one of our favorite neighbors is one of the people who started this thing and i think genevieve got excited and then next thing i know i started getting emails and genevieve said oh yeah i told them to add you i'm like okay great i'm not i'm fine with it everybody's pretty polite except for some of the except for the person who we mentioned earlier who is no longer allowed to be on the site because he said some pretty abusive things to neighbors but um anyway it's um it is very interesting here to see that like we have we definitely have a split neighborhood as far as people who see these creatures as needing our help because we've displace them with our homes and businesses and then other people who are saying like yeah but we have pets like we have cats I love this about our neighborhood we have cats that you know kind of belong to some of our neighbors but roam the neighborhood this very big white one I can't remember his name he doesn't like me very much and it hurts my feelings this cat because Vives and I were stumbling home from the bar a long time ago like when we first moved in here and we ran into the cat in the daddy smells angry yeah exactly well daddy was daddy smelled hurt because i uh we both crouched down and the cat kind of like looked at me and then ran away from me and then did a big circle and then went up to genevieve to get scritches i was like what the hell did i do i love cats was he yiffing or scritching he was i think he said yiff i don't know but uh anyway i was so glad to see that cat the other day i saw it like i was sad to see it crossing the street in front of a car that came a little bit too close for my for my comfort but he's a survivor this cat um but i was just like okay good i've got eyes on the white cat because there are a couple of cats that roam the neighborhood and veves and i are very you know concerned about them our cats always stay indoors because of things like this yeah that makes me think of of uh bubbles

up at the house that I'm working on and kind of like, cause I'm tempted sometimes to let her do some roaming because like, for instance, the other day I was actually doing the show with you from up there and a kitten about her age. So maybe, I don't know, eight month old cat was just wandering around through the yard and doing And I was like, stuff. so there are cats that live out here that are not, you know, getting snatched up by an Eagle or eaten by a coyote. But I don't really, I would be too worried as I wrote on Twitter the other day, all I want is for the cat to get out of my business for three seconds. So I can just like read my book. But then if she's gone for four seconds, I'm like, is she dead? What happened? Where is she? I'm a little helicopter with her. But yeah, sounds like it's it's just as well that you keep the professor indoors and that you will be keeping bingo indoors.

Yeah, I'm going to send you a photo, by the way. This is not for the listeners. This is just for you and me, but it's a holiday. So this is just a collection. You know, bingo is still a few weeks from moving in with us. But the person who's still fostering Bingo and these other kittens sent Genevieve a photo yesterday of Bingo in a little cat blanket, a little cat bed surrounded by his siblings, these little orange tabbies. And it's just it's just I say tabbies, tabbies. And it's just it's the cutest goddamn thing I've ever seen. It's like a little it's just like a little puddle of kittens, Luke. And there's our little guy right in the middle of it. But it makes me just want to go grab the whole thing and bring them here. It's hard to separate them.

Let's do this. I need to take a break so I can properly enjoy this kitten photography. And then when we come back, we will do a little what's in the box for you on this Indigenous People's Day. Not in Canada. You have to wait until June to celebrate. But we get to celebrate today here in the U.S. of A. Of course, they had it first, calendar-wise. Yeah, that's a good point. All right, we'll be back in a moment on TBTL.

This is my box. This is my box I never travel without my box Oh, what's in the box? In the first drawer I keep my magic stones Oh, what's in the box? Licorice! Licorice! Blood sweet licorice! Blood sweet licorice!

Have some

I wonder if anybody sent us licorice today, Luke

Only one way to find out If you don't have it today, you're going to have it soon I'm sure that just sparked an idea for somebody

You know, I'm going to tell a story here That is not a very gracious thing for me to do And I think Genevieve would be mad if she heard me say this. You're going to out who's been feeding the coyotes? Genevieve has been feeding my candy to coyotes. No, I came – I guess it's just – I think I'm outside the norm here. But, like, so I guess whatever, two days ago I was walking home from somewhere and I stopped at the store for a Gatorade. And while I was there, I grabbed a little bag of gummy bears, Haribo. I saw a picture on Instagram of that. Yeah, it was just like a quick little I'm walking home. I got myself a little treat treat. And maybe because I don't eat candy that much, it just really feels like a big treat, right? Oh, I bought a bag. And it did say shareable size, right? So I ate a couple, like literally ate probably maybe, I don't know, three bears on the walk home, which is a five-minute walk or something. And then I get home, and I put them in a jar. I love having candy in a jar. I took a little mason jar, took the lid off of it, and put the gummy bears in there. And it looked real cute. And I went over to Genevieve, who was working at her desk, and I said, here, it says it's shareable size. so you can have one or two and whatever. And so she had one. Then I just closed up the jar and I set it down. And then throughout the day yesterday, I had like maybe two. I'd go and I'd have one. It'd be a little treat for me. Then last night, I take them upstairs. I offer Genevieve one while she's watching TV. I leave the jar in the room and I walk away. I go back in the room later for some more of my gummy bears. And there's just an empty jar there. And I'm just like, what? And she's like, well, you left a bunch of candy in front of me. while i'm watching tv like what do you expect and i suppose that's normal but like i don't want to be in a situation where i have to hide my candy but like i guess for me i'm just like on the rare occasion that i'll buy like some gummy bears or some of those jelly bellies or something like it's just for like savoring for having here and there throughout the day you pop one in it puts a smile on your face and i legitimately went back in i'm like okay it's gummy bear time and they were

all just gone it's like i could totally i'm not a big gummy bear person but if it was something that i tend to snack on i would absolutely do that to becca just destroy him you mean yes exactly because genevieve and i are the same person this is well established on the program and i just am like well this is here someone handed it to me why wouldn't i finish it as opposed to maybe i'm supposed to have three of these and then the other person who brought these in can enjoy some of them as well i'd be like this has been given to me now i'm going to consume it i i mean listen yeah i'm

kind of putting around the front street i don't love the fact that i told that i was surprised in the moment i guess it makes more sense like listen nobody's parceling out a bag of gummy you know a medium-sized bag of gummy bears this was some huge thing it was just like picked up at the at the am pm my friend makes fun of me because i always call it the arco it's an arco and an amp

And I always say I stopped at the Arco to get beer

I would call it the Arco too Because when I was growing up It's probably still the case Arco had the cheapest gas And we used to always go to Arco We used to go to that Arco on 85th and Aurora Across the street from the Jack in the Box And so I always grew up calling it Arco Not calling it AM, PM I know it hurts Tumgas' heart When you focus on the gasoline side of the business Rather than the too much good stuff But I would also call it an Arco

Well, tell that to Kamara Kev, who's always busting our chops. Okay, listen, we played the theme song. We've got to open some of these things. I've got a package here that says, wait, where's the one? I swear one of them was addressed to both me and Professor Bananas, because something, or maybe it's this one that's addressed to both me and Genevieve. This looks like it comes from listener Sierra, if I'm saying that correctly, C-I-A-R-A in Chico, California. Oh, I think Sierra sent us a postcard before. But it says Andrew and Genevieve with a heart But there's something I believe in this one That is driving Professor Bananas Up the wall Because I've had this sitting next to my desk For a few days now And Bananas keeps on trying to get into My box, licorice So I'm going to try to open this now Luke And I apologize

What would make the professor, is it catnip?

I'm wondering if it's catnip related

You know that Bubbles is basically Indifferent to catnip? What? That's strange I bought, so I have these, if you saw the Hey Dummies video from a couple weeks ago now, I'm playing fetch with the cat, and I had this one little mouse with some seeds in it, and she is obsessed with it. So I was trying to buy something similar, and I went on Amazon, and there was these little catnip mice, and I accidentally bought 40 of them, which is more than I needed. It's kind of your move. And they're two to a pack. So I had 20 packs of two of these catnip mice, got them home, throw them for it. She's moderately interested, but she doesn't freak out the way that I've seen other cats freak out for catnip. Oh, really? Now you have 40 of them. Yes, I'd be happy to donate some to your family since you are having a new cat.

Oh, yeah, maybe we should do that. Oh, this is a very cute card, by the way, from Sierra. I hope I'm saying that right. It says, hey, you and Genevieve got me and my 10.5 into the game birds, actually, and I was irritated by the lack of an obvious place to put the eggs. The eggs are a little part of the game, right? And so I found a crochet nest pattern online and made one for us and thought you should have one to fold down the edges during the game and for a neat effect. It's wrapped up beautifully here with a little bit of, like, twine, Luke, and then in some things. So this, I can't share this with you, Luke, because you don't know how to take this.

Why don't I ever get any accessories for my bird actually game?

Oh, this is absolutely, oh, my God, it's a little nest. It's a little crocheted nest. This is adorable. Adorable. I cannot wait. I cannot wait to share that with Genevieve. Thank you.

Oh, boy, she's going to get a kick out of that.

I'm going to say something here, Luke, that will mean nothing to you, literally nothing, but I'd like to say this to Sierra and the rest of the Birds Actually players out there. I don't like to play with certain color eggs. I believe there are five different colored eggs, two of which I refer to as Band-Aid colored. They're both these kind of like kind of gross light brownie stuff. I like to play with the purple eggs and the bright blue kind of turquoise eggs. Those are the ones I prefer. It doesn't matter. It doesn't play. It doesn't make any difference in gameplay. I just like to consider myself an Esthete Is that how you say that word? No, I lost Luke That's good I don't need him for this segment We got another thing here From Jamie Nettles Have you ever heard of Jamie Nettles before?

Yes

You're back Jamie, of course

Is it a chicken steaming drawer?

Oh my god This is amazing Dear Luke and Andrew I'm so glad you got a P.O. box Christmas and Valentine's exchanges Are heartwarming in a way I can't really explain and you will love the sweet funny brilliant touching mail that you get i spend a lot of time planning mine i've been making ornaments this was last year's ornament merry christmas 2021 lol love listener jamie of course this is jamie in mississippi oft mentioned on the show and luke there are two ornaments in here one is for you one is for me they're both the same it says no mountain too tall tbtl 2021 they're wooden um jamie has made other things with this it's like she's got one of those like what do you call the like the it's not a 3d printer but it's like a laser burner thing do you know what i'm talking about yes yeah like engraved wood sort of yeah

and there was like used to make those things like at camp right and back in the day with a kind of a hot iron thing that could burn or a router maybe you'd call it not like the computer router but maybe except i think this one is programmable because right now they've got programmable one

Yeah, and these are amazing. I will take some photos and post it to Instagram this time, I promise. I don't know if I did that. I do get one of those or I do not. You do. There are two in here. They're both the same, and they really are impressive. I'm not just saying that. It's not like one of those things where we're going to get off the air. I'm going to be like, Luke, Jamie really thinks of herself as an artist. You're not going to be crap talking to listeners like you usually do off air?

Yeah.

Nope, I'm just going to be crap talking.

You know that when I worked at the NPR New York Bureau, we are are like office on Second Avenue. It wasn't we didn't have like a fancy dedicated building or even a dedicated floor, which is kind of a random office building that happened to have our studios. And it was close enough, I guess, to Times Square that somebody once threw a bunch of old porno photos, the slides, porno photos into a dumpster that was in the alley. Where we would come out of the door And my friend Robert Found all of these And they weren't like Explicit explicit You know it was like More like Playboy You know circa 1980 So nude pictures But not people engaging In sexual activity And he got all these slides And he somehow glued them together Into these amazing little squares That he called Porniments And you could hang them From your Christmas tree They were so awesome You also couldn't tell Like from far away It wasn't like Someone would walk into your house And immediately have their eye assaulted You'd have to kind of hold them up to the light To see really what the slide was But he made all these ornaments and gave them out Two people who consented, by the way I want to be clear

He wasn't just like slipping them into the No, he was not giving them to co-workers You know, willy-nilly And then doing a big exaggerated wink Like What's the British show Where the guy was very lewd And he was always being chased around by women Benny Hill It wasn't a Benny Hill. It wasn't a Benny Hill.

Oh, he's getting chased around to Yakety Saks?

Yakety Saks, exactly. I now understand Bananas' interest in this box. And this isn't one of those. This is a reused and upcycled, maybe you'd say, like Amazon Prime packaging. So it's plastic. It was taped up very well. It was like near the middle of this box. I keep all the stuff in, and the box was closed. But Bananas sniffed this thing out. It is a chikata banana, yow, catnip banana. It is a hundred. So like instead of a chikita banana, it's a chikata banana. A chikata banana. I don't know if I said that properly. No, you did. And this is from listener Catherine in Ann Arbor, who I believe, by the way, yes, Catherine, I believe is the person who sent me all those Shastas as well. Is that what Juggalo drinks? Fagos. I get those confused all the time. It's a problem with me. I developed a little bit of a Fago problem, Luke. Like, they're very sweet.

You drank all the Fago, too? You didn't give me any Fago? Oh, my God. How do you do that stuff?

What do you do, Genevieve of Fago? Will you look up, while I read this, will you look up what Fago rockin' rye flavor is supposed to be?

Yeah, we talked about this when you received these because we were wondering if it was something almost like, because rye is often, you know, a reference to whiskey.

Type of whiskey.

But it's not that. And let me just see. It was so good.

It was like a cream soda mixed with. Yes, a light vanilla cream soda with a hint of semi-tart cherry flavor. And I bet you Catherine knew that that was the flavor because mostly what she sent was bottles, but that one was like one of the only cans in there. So I have a feeling that rock and rye might be Catherine's favorite. I really – the first one I tried, I was like, oh, okay, yeah, very, very sweet, not as carbonated as most sodas. And I don't drink tons of soda anyway. I just caught myself in a lie. This is how you know, and I hope Catherine takes this as a compliment. But this is how you know that those Fagos got a hold of me because in my garbage can right now, I told you earlier that I stopped and got a Gatorade and a bag of gummy bears. I couldn't remember what I got, but I'm just remembering now I'm holding it. We don't have Fago here, but I'm holding an empty bottle of Fanta strawberry soda that I bought in that same trip. It's just like that super, super sweet red pop. And so, like, yeah, I've got Fago on the mind.

This is an interesting story, by the way. I'm looking up the rock and rye flavor. In 1907, two Russian immigrant brothers started the Fago Company, which was then called the Faginson Brothers Bottling Works in Detroit, Michigan. Initially, they sold three sodas or pop flavors inspired by cake frosting.

Whoa!

During the Prohibition era, they expanded into new varieties, including rock and rye.

So that would explain why it's kind of, like, very sweet like that.

right so it was like cake fried

frosting inspired soda that now has gone beyond that but that was the origin of it and that would

make a lot of sense katherine's card here is very cool it's got a picture of a little three-dimensional picture of a bird and a flower on it and she wrote on the card this is a bird actually and then in the card wrote on to say yes i am the person who sent the fago as well so this banana like this is making me excited like i want to roll on the ground with this banana right now so i can't imagine what Professor Bananas is going to do to that thing when I introduce that as evidence into her life later on this afternoon.

Okay, maybe one or two more. I am so thirsty right now, Andrew. Usually I get hungry when we're doing the show. Now I'm thirsty.

All right, I'm trying to figure... Okay, so I've got a few more packages here. I don't know which one. I don't want to leave anybody out, but we'll revisit this topic again in the future. I'm not opening anything off air. I'm trying to keep it all as content Because otherwise, it's just like, hey, guys, I have a box. Why don't you send me gifts? Like, that doesn't seem right to me. So nobody send anything that can't be opened, you know, down the line.

Don't send anything perishable. Exactly. Don't mail any pets or children. Anything that needs air holes in the box, probably don't send it to us.

Or if you do, I'm opening something here. This is a package with something soft inside. It looks like this is from Listener. I want to say Mimi, if I'm reading that correct. It's M-E-M-E. Just kidding. that's meme uh minis this is mimi i believe and i'm opening it up oh wow well i i don't i probably shouldn't talk about this one okay i'm just doing my russell wilson um be careful you have a spicy andrew have you ever been dangerous i was dangerous be careful though it's spicy now i'm also hungry dang it i know that is the one thing about that about that uh commercial is it does kind of make me want to eat a sandwich it might not be the danger witch that i want but it does make me kind of want a sandwich so i don't know what delco is yet but these are two very designy shirts that say delco on it and i think i i want to claim one for myself one is light blue with a very popping orange like surf van on it that says delco and another one has a garbage oh this one is probably for me another one is more muted tones and it has a garbage truck on it that says delco what do you know about delco luke well a delco is a is an auto parts brand oh right oh okay oh really is that what this is here um this is um from listener mimi it is right okay mimi who's now in delco pennsylvania oh delaware was philly i see she crossed off philly with delco i know you're not a funny t-shirt wearer luke and andrew but we love this little t-shirt company here in delco i say i'm from philly because nobody knew delco until the mayor of east town you can hear you can wear the shirts as you putter in your gardener garage or give them away a million thanks for all the laughs uh love you my imaginary friends these are amazing shirts again i i love them both this surfer van one though is toit as i like to say wow oh yeah he's gonna go down

He's going to go down to Delaware County and get some of those T-shirts.

Thank you for this, Mimi. I'm going to set these all out. Everything that we opened today, I'm going to set it all out, and I'm going to take a picture of it. Nice. And I'll post it on the Instagram page. Like the TSA does with all the brass knuckles they confiscate every year. Exactly. I'm going to lay out all of the weed I've confiscated and weigh it with the roots and dirt still connected to it. That was something that always bothered my friend Ben. He was just like, they would always say, we got X number of pounds of weed. And he's like half of that is just dirt that is stuck To the roots of these plants you idiots

I just saw one of those A while ago that was like Clearly the local you know Police department or whatever Had done a drug bust And they were proudly Displaying the The hall and it was like I swear to god it was like six mushrooms Like just like six tiny Dehydrated mushroom stems And they were standing around a table Like with their six like mushrooms It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen In the words of Bob Edwards

They probably kept the rest themselves It probably would have been an impressive picture If they weren't kind of like Honey, do you want a trip tonight? All right, that's it, Luke

Do you want to leave it there for now? Yeah, let's revisit this Next time we're doing a special show of course we can't wrap the show up on this holiday without thanking our donors who are supporting the program helping fund the whole operation fine folks like jeff stewart out there on Bainbridge Island, Washington.

I like that we just did a whole segment where people are sending us gifts.

and now we're thanking them for keeping the show literally alive with their financial relations. And in a roundabout way, because I assume that you're expensing the P.O. Box to APM.

Actually, that is true. They are paying for the P.O. Box as well. That's a really good point. That's one of our few kind of expenditures outside of doing the show every day.

Thank you, Jeff. Now, it's interesting because, of course, Bainbridge Island is where Pickleball was invented. Oh, yeah. Famously now.

And then we've also we're going to thank a listener, Lisa Blum of Bellingham, Washington, who I believe might live in what I call the pickleball district is the person who actually called it the pickleball district when we were on a Zoom call with her a few years.

Yes. This is an area, actually, Carrie and I stayed there for a while while we were looking for a house to buy, and it's quite amazing because there are, like, two homes within not even a block of each other, and they both have pickleball courts. And this was back before everybody was talking pickleball. So we've got Jeff, where it was invented, and Lisa, who's keeping the torch burning up there in Bellingham, Washington. Thank you, Lisa. Thanks also to Jolene Tashner here in Portland, Oregon. Jolene, you know the rules. If you see me, you've got to say something. Same for you, Robert Peacock, also here in Portland, Oregon. I like how somehow I'm... Your punishment for living in Portland and supporting this show, with which I make my living, is that I will yell a command to you that you have to tell me if you're a 10 if I see you out in the wild.

Who was it? It was your buddy who you go out on boats with sometimes, who saw me at that concert, Evan, and tried to take a photo of me.

I don't know if he was trying to take a photo of you for the record I think he was taking a photo of his cool perch at the PD show I think I misinterpreted it to be You were going to be in the footage doing something truly embarrassing And that was not the case Either way, he didn't say something until later Evan, if you see Andrew at a PDUSA show You have to identify yourself Also, Joseph Toll is in Carborough, North Cackalacky Raise him up P.D. Pablo style Joseph Out there in North Carolina Thank you very much For the support How confident are you That it is pronounced Toll and not Thole Pretty confident Joseph let us know I don't know I used to know someone Named Pat Toll And they spelled it The same way

I wasn't I mean I guess I was literally Questioning you But I don't have Any confidence at all I just wasn't sure If you knew Joseph Or if you were familiar With that name No I was just

spelled T-H-O-L-E. I was trying to be confident about it so as to I do know someone named Pat Toll. But Joseph, let us know and then next year we'll pronounce it correctly. That's our lost leader. We get you year one, we mispronounce your name and then you have to correct us and then year two, we also mispronounce your name. That's the beauty of the full business model. Yeah, exactly because we don't remember it because it's a year later. And then of course where would we be without Matthew Thomas of Denver, Colorado? Matthew, thank you for your support. Thanks to all of our donors for today for keeping TBTL going. I guess that'll probably wrap things up here on this Holler Day. I will be checking in from Chicago tomorrow. I'm going to be in Chicago doing that TV story about this kid Miles, who is a musical genius. So I'll have a full report on how that went. We're interviewing him today, actually, because it's a holiday. Yeah, I was going to say, I was going to mention that. I think that's a dazzling detail. But if he freaking calls it Columbus Day The interview's over He better be off for Indigenous Peoples Day Yes, I think he will be He's the younger generation He is So anyway, yeah, we'll see y'all from Chicago tomorrow In the meantime, have a great Monday Great holiday if you've got today off Have fun And I guess we'll see you tomorrow Until then, thank you for listening And please remember, no mountain too tall And good luck to all

Oh, that naughty old elf must be one mean bastard to give us this so early.

What?

Did I stutter, Megan? Santa Claus. Okay, it looks like the printer's gotten everyone a little too excited. Of course it did. Everyone just go back to work. Power out.