Muse

Are you sick of the airport, the long lines, security, the danger of terrorism? Why not take a ride in a hot air balloon? Virginia Horson's Hot Air Balloon Rides. You don't have to worry about terrorists or long lines, and it's just you and me. Up in the air. Whoa! Hey, I can see my house from here. Just kidding. Why not take a ride in my balloon? I'll cut you a deal. Forget about airport security. See you later, suckers. I'm taking myself a hot air balloon ride. Ooh, fresh air. Listen, I'm not one of those college types that's going to talk your ear off. I bought a balloon, and it doesn't mean I think I'm better than everybody else. Or I can just read a book. I'm not one of those people who doesn't know how to be quiet. So come on over and take a ride in my hot air balloon. It'll take you wherever you want to go. I promise.

TBTL. love it or hate it it appears to be another irreversible step along mankind's journey

toward god only knows what psycho screwy and totally unbalanced laser pointers you know what

i'd like to do i'd like to take my laser car and drive it off of a laser cliff do you believe that

i do if you do but it's absurd what would happen if you went out on stage and you didn't set off the fireworks and you didn't break up the guitar and you didn't have the smoke and the fire and the blood and all that you just came out and did your thing well i've got to run i can hear the blender

crying coming baby all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live gentlemen to bet for we leave at 9 30 ish ish my name is luke burbank i am your host hey where's the freaking gabagoo coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center right here in portland oregon where i am going to do my absolute best today i have two goals for the show okay one not sound like i'm bouncing off

the walls because i am having some coffee which is normal all the coffee lovers of the world

but i've also been taking this it's like a shot of like some kind of energy juice that sounds like a code for something uh that's a class one drug it's not it's just like this thing that they want me to do ads for on the other show that i do and so i'm trying it first and i will say it gives you energy it's giving me too much wings right now so i'm gonna try to not be too amped i'm also gonna try to not become too fixated on talking about the seattle who lost a tough game in Houston yesterday. My impulse, my temptation is to just spend the next one to three hours discussing Robbie Ray's choice of pitches in high leverage situations. But that's not what we're here to do, my friends. We're here to do episode 3,791 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

So we're going to talk about other things, maybe. like the fact that martha stewart the martha stewart is 100 biting my rhyme yeah oh yeah buddy my personal rhyme i'll tell you how she is copying me and then speaking of um copying people there is a case that is being heard literally as we record this in front of the united states supreme

court remember them will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy that would be funny

though has anybody thought to rename the united states supreme court maz eisley space court i feel like that that drop really really nails it at least when it comes to the majority of the justices they are hearing a case right now about a photograph of prince the singer and the way that it was then changed by andy warhol the artist and if the photographer who took the original picture is do royalties because of this piece of what's called art now that has been very successful in its sort of second act so we will talk about uh copyright law and things like that because that's what we're experts on really on this show robbie ray pitch selection in high leverage situations and then uh copyright law so anyway uh we'll do all of that with the help of this young man the longest running co-bro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is Andrew Ice

Walsh

and he's joining me right now. Good morning my friend

Good morning Luke. I'll give you multiple choice of what I could chatter about here at the top of the show None of them are sports related. How about that? It's like a choose your own adventure You also can veto them all if you have something on the top of your mind. I'm just trying to Thank you.

Veer us away from talking about the...

I was hoping to talk about Robbie Ray pitch selection and high leverage situations.

That's why I kind of wrote down these things as maybe a way of getting us off that. I told you yesterday that I could talk for days about the struggle to get these goddamn hedges trimmed in my backyard. That's one. I'll give that a bell. Another one would be I have an update on Bingo the kitten who will be joining our family soon. That's number two option.

Okay, that's a much more positive topic.

And number three, the best sounding voicemail. in the world I thought you and I listened to that in our private time

I thought I was going to go into the private collection

I just wanted to give you options we got a voicemail from a long time listener that I was impressed mostly by just the quality of the phone and so Luke and I before the show were just like geeking up oh yeah that's a crisp phone line oh wow

that's only talk radio producers who produced talk radio in the era we did would appreciate just an absolutely solid

like a lot of mid-range. I mean, it was just sounded a little bit

fragmented. You know, we get now with all this VoIP.

It sounded a little bit like it was from space, but in a good way, like from 1960s space when they had good communications. I don't know what I'm talking about.

I want to hear about Bingo. And I want to hear about the hedges and what the latest is on that. But I want to say this to you very quickly on the subject of Robbie Ray pitch selection in high leverage situations the exact thing that i was concerned about from a listener standpoint from an experiential standpoint with the baseball game yesterday so that's how i want to talk about it just briefly not you know the actual kind of like decisions that were made or whatever the implications the sport i'm trying to stay from the sportiness of the whole thing can i say one

thing here for context if you don't mind for folks who don't follow this what happened yesterday in game one of a five-game series has been described by many, many Mariners fans in my life and in my internet life as the worst loss, the most painful loss, if not the worst, the most painful loss in Mariners history. Longtime Mariners fans are losing their goddamn mind because of the way we lost a game that we were leading the entire game until the last pitch. So that's the pain that we're talking about here.

Yes, to the pain. Jordan Alvarez leaves you wallowing in freakish misery. i almost started the show today with a pit of despair but it didn't quite end it was too full of despair so i didn't um so yesterday you and i were recording the show i was in chicago and i knew that i needed to get to the airport at some point to fly home but i the game was on and i was a little worried that what was going to happen is i was going to be basically like at the airport or somewhere the airport actually would have been okay the worst thing would have been in the lift on the way to the airport which is exactly what happened and so this scenario was created where we're just sitting in stopped traffic on the freeway because of some kind of accident um i'm listening to the game on my phone but that means there's a delay a pretty significant delay of about three minutes for me and so i can't look at my phone at all while that's happening in important moments because our text chain which i love is sending kind of real-time responses to everything and i'm often seeing the real-time response before the play has occurred in my time stream so i'm sitting in the back of the of the lift and i'm just listening to the game and it's just like things are kind of sort of getting out of control but there's still a chance i mean we're really down to uh you know basically one out and then either the game's over and we win or the thing that happened happened but i couldn't resist andrew i couldn't i could not sit there and know that the rest of the world knew what had happened and i wasn't going to know for three minutes so i open up the major league baseball app which has this feature that's just this very rudimentary i don't even know if you call it animation it's just like a drawing of a baseball player and i mean this is all digital but like and then a diamond and then just this somebody is sitting there probably at the stadium just hitting like a bunch of hot keys that are like that was a strike that was a ball that was hit into play for an out that was blue which means it was hit into play and parenthetically a run was scored it's this bizarre like language that they've created so that they can get the information out as quickly as possible so it's it's not quite like listening to on the radio but it's very very very almost up to speed right yeah and i have that open

And sometimes when I'm at the ballpark, too, so that when an umpire messes up a pitch, you can point at your phone and show it to everybody around you and say, see, he's a bum. Exactly.

So I am sitting there listening and it's down to there's one person coming up to bat. And if we get them out, then it's like I said, it's like, you know, there is joy in Mudville.

and i just i i couldn't i couldn't quite stand it so i just like look at the app as this blue thing happens that just says runs parenthetically and i just think oh the absolute the the worst case scenario for mariners fans has now unfolded and then i just kind of like turned my phone off at that moment we were arriving at o'hare i just got out of the car and i just kind of like walked into o'hare like well okay let me see i wonder what kind of soup they have at frontera a grill right now and do i have time to eat it it was actually for something that was so gutting that was the perfect way for me to experience it there was about eight levels of distance between me and the emotion of that moment had i been at the satellite in portland with the friends that i was watching the other games with or had i been with you or had i even been home just watching it on tv pacing i i don't know if i would have i think it would take me weeks emotionally to get over how how sad that was but there was something about just kind of looking down dispassionately as a screen just seeing this little weird thing that said it's like a blue line and then just said hit in play parenthetically runs and i was like well okay that settles that and then i just went on with my life it was i'm just saying would recommend it was just data it was just data for real that was it was just data that's a big perfect way to describe it it wasn't like i was because i remember many many years ago in 1995 when they were you know playing the yankees in this big series when they got to the playoffs quite uh incredibly and i remember watching those games with groups of people and i remember being so worked up about one that my girlfriend at the time took addy who was like one and a half or something and was like we're just gonna take a drive around the block with her so that you can kind of do what you need to do here because i'd be like on the ground on the carpet in front of the tv like doing like some modified downward dog of luck for that like this was just like you said it was just data it was just i read the i i i read the data and i said okay well that that happened that's how that one went and i was again i was also in chicago where no one gave a flying fart like there was no there were no conversations but it wasn't like i went down to the uh to the i did end up going to frontier girl by the way they of a delicious vegetarian tortilla soup would recommend um and i just sat there and i ate my my tortilla soup and i like it wasn't like i was in a in enmeshed with a bunch of people who were all just like dying over this thing it was like it just it was very detached but i am very grateful

that it was very detached for me i um we're just talking about experiences here i also um you know it was it was a day game it was an important game obviously um and a game i was looking forward forward to but like it was a day game on a tuesday after a holiday like we had we all had stuff to do right so i'm doing you know various work i have the game on on a on a extra legal stream we'll call it or less than legal stream on my computer while i'm kind of doing some work and following along but you know somewhat distracted but following the game but again i'm with you luke i'm about on a three minute delay i think so i'm getting my phone is buzzing to let me know like what's going on before it happens and because this isn't like a game like an old football game where I would like kind of like turn off all media and just like try to enjoy it as if I was living in a bubble I'm just like whatever this is all happening in real time I would peek at my phone see why everybody was mad or happy on the text chain or whatever but it was one of those games too that as time went on in the afternoon I started to get text messages from more and more people who don't follow baseball as closely as me and you and the rest of the text chain people You know, like I have I have some people who I would expect to hear from during a day like that. But then you start hearing from like our pal Phyllis Fletcher, right? P. Fletch, like, you know, like she's she's lived in Seattle her whole life. And so, you know, she's involved in this. So she's texting me like, hey, I'm listening to the game. I'm listening to the game like it's the 1930s. Hey, Phyllis, we're out here listening to the game on the radio all the time. Anyway, and then I think at one point I switched to radio so I can go grab myself some red pop. because listener Catherine has broken me with the Faygo that she sent me. Boy, that's really, that's like your, that's kind of your drink of choice of late. Especially on Tuesdays. I'm such a weird creature of habit. I think Catherine sent us that Faygo. I drank it on a Tuesday before doing, after these messages, the podcast I do with. And so I always need a little bit of a boost. Like, not, I don't want coffee. Can you write that award-winning book, Tuesdays with Red Pop? Yeah, I can. I will, I'll write that down. And we don't have Faygo out here, so it's probably in my garbage. What is it, a Fanta or a Shasta? It's a Fanta. Anyway, and you'll appreciate this, Luke. This is totally unfair to a friend of ours. I doubt he will hear this. I would say it to his face if he was here. But I started to realize we were going to lose the game when Ron... Upshaw texted me and I don't know like I don't know what it is Ron and I usually go to at least one game together a year he's a true friend of mine he likes baseball but like I'll never forgive him for like what was it was like six years ago now somebody was getting close to pitching I can't remember if it was a perfect game or if it was just a no hitter and um it was our ace from Canada I'm blanking on his name now it doesn't matter who we uh sent him to New York um and then brought him back for a one-year contract and he got hurt in the first inning paxton paxton

thank you uh anyway i think paxton was pitching maybe a perfect game maybe a no hitter and then ron swoops in like hey you're watching this no hitter and i'll always blame him for which for

non-baseball people is the number one you don't say it along with the no crying the never say no hitter when someone's in the midst of it because that's considered a major jinx exactly

and now i think a lot of mariners fans accept that there is crying in baseball because there was crying on saturday tears of joy and crying yesterday tears of dismay um and i gotta say as soon as i got the text message from ron and things were starting you know like our lead was sort of we're losing kind of our lead was tightening up i was like huh ron's just like hey how you doing you wearing your lucky hat i'm like we're screwed we're done it's over um and i will mention he had a shoe on his head i will say this as the um as as the day went on so we lost in a very very painful way and it was really rough right it hurt it hurt really bad um in the moment but then i sort of kind of like you a different situation but i just i had to move on like i gave myself like 15 20 minutes i doom scrolled through twitter it helped to see everybody just moaning um i blocked a uh an astros fan on the text line who just said it brings me no joy to tell you this but go astros And I was just like, if it brings you no joy, why would you pick up your phone?

Wait, you mean a listener to our show?

Yes. And I was just like, sorry, I'm blocking this for now. Yeah, I'm just like, I don't need you. That's a funny response. And it's just such a weird, like, it brings me no joy is what was like. Well, obviously it brings you joy. You wanted to reach out and gloat in like literally three minutes after the game was over. And so I didn't like, I was just like, hey, listen, I'm blocking this number for a while. It's my, I mean, I'm allowed to like not read everything that comes in. You are absolutely allowed.

I mean, because here's the thing. Like, we actually got a very sweet email from listener Sarah in Toronto today saying, because, you know, there was that game that the Mariners won that was very dramatic and went in our favor and left Toronto fans bereft, kind of in the way we're feeling, I think, today. Worse, I would say. What listener Sarah said, which I thought was really touching, was, like, it was really kind of hard for me to listen to you all in your delirium and joy about this thing that really broke my heart. but i'm also happy that two people that kind of get to live in my ears you know on a daily basis pretty much i'm happy that you're happy which i thought was a very gracious thing to say and a really sweet place to take it considering how hard it is and also you and i would have for as happy as we were when things went our way i would never reach out to sarah or bill in toronto i don't think even in toronto anymore but like i would never reach out to anyone i knew in toronto and say It brings me no joy to say this, but go Mariners.

Yeah, and I've definitely taken my swipe at fan bases before. I have the fan bases that I'm not huge fans of myself. Obviously, I've talked about Blue Jay fans taking over our stadium, but that's their right to do so, and that's a good fan base. But yeah, I wouldn't personally reach out to somebody even if I just beat them and just be like, hey, it brings me no joy. Go Mariners. This is what I wanted to say, though, because I texted you guys something really corny late last night, possibly after several beers. But, like, it's honestly where I ended up, and, like, I took some moments, and then I just had to do a show with Genevieve, and I was like, I'm not going to let baseball seep into this. We just talked about commercials for an hour, and we had a lot of laughs, and, you know, it was already a little bit more distant by the time we got done with that. And then, you know, I did some more thinking about the game. It sucked. It hurt. But the thing is, like, that letter we got from Sarah, actually, I saw that last night, too, and it helped me focus this feeling, too. Like, I don't think the Mariners are going to win this series, but, like, that was game one. on a Tuesday in the middle of the day and we potentially still have four games to play we have at least two more games to play what happened from to the Blue Jays from the Blue Jays perspective was way worse it ended their season it was eliminated if what happened at the end of the game yesterday happened at the end of game five and we believed we were actually going to finally like go to a championship series and then it happened that way it would have been I can think of so many scenarios which makes that loss which feels like it couldn't be worse worse like I was Just like there's so many ways that is worse. Like it ruined part of my Tuesday and I had to block a listener. Like whatever. Then I move on. Like we still have more. We have more freaking baseball tomorrow. And like I'm trying to. I always think of that person you made fun of when the Seahawks lost in a dramatic way.

in the super bowl and there was a woman at the party you're at and you always imitate why is everybody so sad like i don't want to be that why is everybody so sad naive person but also like there's still more baseball to play i'm not saying i'm placing any bets on the mariners winning but it's still it is october and we still have at least two more mariners games to watch like this could have been worse and so let's let's kind of lick our wounds and kind of move on

exactly and i think the listeners would like us to lick our wounds and move on to bingo talk okay let's talk about this we all have bells that you're getting now uh what's the uh what's the countdown uh to this is are we still like a couple of weeks out um well that's the update so what

happened was scott's service decided to put bingo on the mound no um this is for you canada recently changed its laws around vaccination meaning bingo is allowed to travel to canada oh shit that didn't even occur to me we would have been saved by canada's vaccine laws if they oh 100 that particular i mean i was thinking about how robbie ray the guy who blew the game is an anti-vaxxer but i didn't think about the fact that we were so happy that he could pitch in canada when actually that's why

they changed the law i was never happy about that and i i i created and deleted a couple of tweets yesterday that were like basically going every baseball person i know mariners fan was like oh the only thing that can really mess this up for us is robbie ray because he's deeply inconsistent and uh that uh it's interesting that that info didn't get to um the manager of the team but

anyway back to bingo back to back to bingo after i read you this tweet that i retweeted robbie robbie ray did his own research on how best pitch to jordan alvarez which i don't know

if you saw that but that's my well i wrote an almost identical tweet like literally as i was walking into o'hare so i told you that i was checked out but i wasn't so checked out that i didn't i wrote something like looks like robbie ray did his own research on being absolutely brutal

in the post okay see i didn't know that you were did you hear oh my god okay bingo this really is

the end but did you happen to see the quote from yordan alvarez about what happened about how it unfolded no i thought it was actually quite fascinating he said i'm in the dugout and i see that they have robbie ray warming up and i know that if it comes down to it if i'm hitting in this important situation their plan is to bring him in against me so i immediately got the ipad and started watching all of our previous matchups geez louise and i thought you know who didn't do that dumbass robbie ray right you know like i mean that was like i was i almost was just like you know what you deserve it buddy yeah you're actually an intelligent human being who had the wherewithal to like go like hey i want to really make sure that i know what's going to happen in this in this interaction i promise you robbie ray didn't do any for somebody who said they were doing their own research on vaccinations i promise you that he did not do that level of preparation

on your dawn and uh it showed yeah exactly and that's the thing they're a good team and and that we didn't you know what i mean like we didn't lose to a team that we should have been beating they're a really really good team yes they're a bunch of cheaters but i don't they're you know

i don't think that that's why we lost yesterday andrew it brings me no joy to tell that houston

listener this but y'all a bunch of cheaters don't worry i'm sure all the players who cheated um got punished for it anyway moving on so bingo the kitten who we adopted what like a week and a half ago but it's still not living with us because it's still uh it is foster home waiting uh to get neutered and get its shots and everything well we were supposed to bring him home late next week after the surgery but the update is surgery is happening tomorrow so it's looking like on saturday morning now this is me already being an absentee dad because of course um the third game of the series will be saturday afternoon at one o'clock i believe but saturday morning we are waking up at the crack of 8 30 or whatever and getting down to tacoma to pick up bingo and bring bingo back home and then i'm probably gonna leave and go to a bar to watch a baseball game and genevieve's like hey it's your loss bring bingo to the bar yeah no bingo's not gonna be a bar

cap we need this to be a whole like that could be honestly what maybe saves this could be the season of bingo for the mariners like an unlikely hero emerges every time there's a hit bingo

will be our rallying cry but i am very all kidding aside i mean i don't know what i'm going to do about the game right now but um all kidding aside i'm very excited that like we're gonna have another kitten in the house i don't really have a power out for that i just want to let you know that it is happening and hopefully by monday for those interested in that timeline. Hopefully by Monday we'll have a new little kitty here that we're kind of dealing with. I promise not to overdo it with the cat talk. I don't think. Well, there's just one guy who hosts a podcast.

who i've been hearing like i'm talking about a little bit too much yeah this is his name yeah

exactly i'll say this if i can rest the spotlight away from bingo and put it back on bubbles in my experience um i will say that you know bubbles is i think like maybe nine months old now or something and actually really it's kind of fun for her to be i don't know how to describe it other than i'm enjoying this phase of her life as well but i've been seeing all these pictures of kittens on like tiktok and stuff and i'm having that thing that i literally had with my human child which was you're always a little bit wistful for like two years ago in their life or oh wasn't that when you when when you know when they were that age you're kind of always like looking back fondly on on on previous you know sort of eras of their life i find myself doing that with bubbles being like oh she used to be such a i will look at old pictures of her on my phone to remember when she was a kitten which is uh you know kind of a little bit silly because uh you know it hasn't been that long but i'm very excited for you and veeves to have a kitten in that house i was reading

a book recently where a couple are shopping for um baby clothes for their baby who isn't even born yet and one of the characters as they're they're not shopping you know what they're doing is they're making a register or whatever like a shower registry or whatever so they're like kind of picking things out in the store and uh one of them says like i'm how am i looking at these pants for older kids and i'm already nostalgic for our baby who's not born yet who doesn't fit into these little tiny shoes anymore like yeah sounds like that i could totally see myself doing that as a

person who struggles with being present and lives my life kind of unfortunately far too much uh looking or looking back on what happened and then imagining what will happen in the future i could see myself being sort of um preemptively nostalgic for something that hasn't happened yet

Yes, it was sort of – I couldn't think of a total comp to my life, but that definitely stuck out to me. I read that a few weeks ago, and I've been thinking about it.

All right. Now let's get to hedge talk. You bought this device that allowed you to actually trim your entire hedge at once instead of having to do one side of it and then move the ladder to the other side because it's so wide. And you were making great progress, but then what happened?

Yeah, so the deal is I simply couldn't do it with my old tool This thing is, I think I measured it as like 20 feet wide, it's just ridiculous You look at the hedge and it looks like a normal hedge But then you get up on a ladder and you look down on it And you're like, oh, that's like a football field The other side is like a football field away So, Vives and I realized We needed something called a pole trimmer I addressed this in the Hey Dummies video Last week for those who subscribe Oh yeah, I did do one of those Oh yeah, I meant to ask you before the show Could you do one today? Get it to old James. Anyway, James, who's sending our editor, who's sending us postcards with Hey Dummies questions on them to our P.O. box.

Anyway, we can always use more Hey Dummies questions, honestly.

Yeah. So anyway, I got this this tool and Genevieve purchased it for me. Genevieve, we kind of have this thing going on. I guess it doesn't really I guess it's sort of infantilizing for me to admit this. But we kind of especially for larger purchases. Basically, these and I all kind of like look at and agree with what we want. But then Genevieve is the one who does the purchase. She loves looking for good deals online and off. Right. And so she the grill.

I don't think that's in fanalizing.

I know it's in fanalizing because like I basically have now for everything. I'm just like Genevieve. These are the shoes I want. Do you want to see if you can find a good deal on them? I'll tell you what, though.

Any good relationship. I think a big part of it is the people in the relationship kind of playing to their strengths and doing, you know, like kind of being. being strong where the other person is weak or whatever but like i mean that you know that could take on the form of like veves loves looking for a deal i'll tell you this like uh every relationship i've been in when there's any travel that needs to be booked i do all the travel booking sometimes to the wrong island in hawaii which i literally did once but so i don't think all i'm saying is

i don't think that you're that's infanalyzed yeah in my opinion um but anyway so this grill that we bought this is a quick aside um that we are using it's just a charcoal grill like genevieve found a great deal on that thing like like i don't know a couple hundred bucks off or something because it had been like it'd been purchased and unboxed but never used and then reboxed again and so it was like technically used even though it was like brand new and so like that that's a real win for us so genevieve found something similar with these pole trimmers on amazon um the problem was the deal wasn't quite as good and when it showed up it wasn't something that was new that was reboxed It was something that had clearly been used, and maybe that's fine, but I was just, like, looking at it, I'm just like, wow, you can really tell, like, these blades have done work, right? And the blades also were, like, I couldn't tell if it was by design, but it looked like they might have even been a little, like, the blades might be bowed a little bit from, like, if you set it down a certain way, and I was like, okay, well, we'll give it a shot. This is one of those things where it's sort of... of a sad story but the more i thought about it not unlike the mariners maybe i'm just pollyanna ish like there's just like i i realize that there's actually a lot of upside the way this whole thing happened i was hesitant at first but i got this thing i put the battery in it it seemed to work um so i did most of the hedges well i did as much as i could with a really bad ladder i had a a very old too short painting ladder that i was got was that at the house or was that one of the free that was a free ladder district that was one that genevieve got from the free ladder district and as i always say never overpay for a ladder and so because i was doing that thing where i was literally stacking it up on like planks of wood that we had in the garage that were kind of rotten i'm standing on my tiptoes this makes me so stressed it was exactly like a psa of how not to use a ladder don't we have a whole intro tape about ladders and how thousands of americans yes exactly um i was doing everything wrong but i'm obsessed with this project and it was someday last week that i had reserved for this project i needed to test out the the the trimmers in case they didn't work we could send them back and then once i get going like i don't want to leave them like kind of half cut it looks really you know i kind of i do have some sort of touch of ocd i believe and and just like having a project like that that is so visually half done drives me just bananas um but i realized by the way visually half done like the phantom of the opera god was like god got sort of distracted about halfway through the phantom of the podcast um anyway so i didn't end up having to just kind of stop that project because i just didn't have i got maybe i don't know a third of the way done i had to stop because i didn't have the right ladder it was too dangerous i was exhausted holding this thing is also it's some of the most physically demanding work i've done because it's like i don't have a lot of upper body strength right now and this thing is heavy you're reaching as far as you can even with even with the new ladder that i ended up buying the other day um you still just have to reach as far as you possibly can with

this i don't know 30 pound thing that anyway so i gave up the other day i put it away i'm like i get another ladder and then i circled yesterday on the calendar i'm going to finish these hedges i'm going to go to home depot on monday i guess this is a monday story not a yesterday story But Monday we had the show pre-tape So I'm like, I'm going to wake up, I'm going to go to Home Depot I'm going to buy a proper ladder Used a gift card, got a good deal on that Came home Have the ladder, have the trimmer now Everything's good, I'm trimming the hedges And they are thick Yeah, where doers Yeah, man, a doers was getting Things done Exactly And so everything is going really, really well Every now and then you hit a really thick Branch in the hedges Because, again, I'm taking these things down a notch, right? The previous owners let these things overgrow, and so you get one. Every now and then it would jam up on me, but then you just clear the jam, and it's fine, right? Well, I cleared the jam on one of these thick sticks, and it still wouldn't work. It's just like there was no obstruction, but the thing just wouldn't work anymore. Like, whatever it hit, I don't know if it scrambled the inside of it. i started watching youtube videos on how to fix these types of trimmers and like it gets really involved and i'm starting to think to myself like listen yes this is a thick shrub or you know thick hedge but like this is why you buy this tool this is the exact reason people buy this tool and um it was used and therefore like and i couldn't get through one hedge without it doing this so instead of taking apart i called visa i'm like i think we should just like kind of clean this thing off return it and get a new one and we can just say it didn't even get us through like three hours worth of work so at the end of the day it was a little upsetting i had to leave my hedges i'm so close luke i'm so close i've seen the photo i still have to carry this ladder to both sides i have to be out in the alleyway where neighbors are watching me again reach and just like look as ridiculous as possible trying to trim these things and it's like i'm so close to having the job done it's driving me bananas that there's part of it that is just like sticking up like clown hair i feel like everybody in the neighborhood is talking about me they're not nobody's noticing but um but the good news is as i think about this what if i had finished this hedge job and then the thing had broken maybe six months from now when i bring them out to do it again and i realize like this is in a certain way is the best thing that could have happened to me because then we wouldn't have any recourse we'd be spending more money more money than the money we saved getting this thing repaired as opposed to saying hey listen you sold us this thing that's used and it doesn't work it's not strong enough you know so now i got a new one on the way they've already picked up the old one um and i should be out there i'm hoping by friday getting the hedges ready for bingo i am i

I think it would be incredible if you brought Bingo home and she, right? Bingo's a he. A he.

Although I might be calling him she sometimes, too, because I've been with Professor Bananas. I will get that right.

The problem is because my cat is a girl, then that makes all cats girl cats in my mind. I just love the idea of you bringing Bingo home all excited. You've got some little toys laid out. And he just looks up and goes, so what's the story with that hedge? Just noticing that 5% of it isn't finished.

We're just leaving it like that, huh? that's the kind of house this is we just stop projects mid-project oh okay um you take me

back to my foster situation please i'd like to be placed with a different family exactly how we do it in tacoma um now this raises a question or a topic that i have just been fascinated with for a while now which is what could the possible economics be of amazon.com was it amazon that

you that you purchased yeah yeah it's a it's astounding like because i'm i'm looking at a

black and decker 20 volt max power connect 18 inch cordless pole hedge trimmer right and new it's 80 i'm assuming that you bought something similar to this no i'm sorry what

are you looking no no this thing is way more than 80 i don't know what you're looking at ours is like a i don't know 40 volt uh 10 oh maybe it's because you have more voltage i see okay because

i was i just i just googled up pole hedge trimmer on amazon this one is probably like the uh the very very sort of light duty version but i think that actually changed it a little bit i think the

new i think when you get because we just re-bought it like new this time and it was 200 bucks so you

know okay yeah even so okay so let's just say and you got it used for less the first one you won the one you sent back so somebody was was it a it was amazon selling it or was it a third party selling

It, I believe, was through Amazon. Genevieve would have to give you the answers to that, and I don't know if she can hear me right now, but it's somewhat tedious. But, you know, they have some sort of program where, in fact, there was a sticker on the box that says, like, this tool has a second life thanks to you in Amazon. So, like, okay, here comes Genevieve. She can't handle this anymore. How much have you been hearing, Genevieve? I'll turn on your microphone here.

I heard about how I'm your Amazon, you know. Sugar mama? Avatar or whatever.

Yeah, okay. Let's get on the microphone there. so can you can you hear luke hi veves what are your questions luke the the nature this was the

nature of my question which is really not so much specifically about your your y'all's pole hedge trimmer but more just the the economics interested in the intricacies of our pole hedge trimmers actually you know what i am i truthfully i very much am and now that i'm looking at one of these on amazon i'm like i don't even have any heads yeah but andrew was talking about how how you know you you've sent it back now because it it broke um and i'm just like i don't understand the economics of this return stuff that's going on with amazon i've been returning various things

recently because i got some shoes that i return things all the time to them i take full advantage and it's like it's like a loss leader thing for them right like they they lose money on this transaction no doubt but you know they keep me coming instead of going to you know home depot or Lowe's or wherever I'm like the easiest thing to do is buy it from Amazon because if anything goes wrong it's a no hassle return process and so in the long run they get way more money out of me because I mean I hate to say it given like their problematic ways of doing business but they really

do put the customer first well this but see this is here's my question why do you think Amazon doesn't just say you know what keep this now broken secondhand yard tool instead of creating a qr code and having someone what where's it going back to is someone going to take it out of the box and try to fix it like i think it would be easier for them in about 80 of these scenarios to just go keep it but i think my theory is if they said that then we would all know that we get to keep things and so they have to take back basically garbage so that we don't get it in our minds that we get to keep stuff when we say it doesn't work well i'll tell you what i wish they

had said that because one thing that was very valuable in this box that does work is the battery and the battery charger and i would have i would have killed to have the battery and battery charger were new or like new you know and so i would have loved to be able to keep them and then get a new one and then have batteries i could swap out i do have a feeling that's where a lot of the cost is

it is about half of its value is in the battery and i think that they know that it's not a totally worthless piece of equipment i'm shipping back to them it's a you know it's a piece that can be it's a piece of equipment that can be still parts of it can be reused and resold yeah right i have

a question for you genevieve because you i don't know if we ever got a clear answer on this when you bought this and you thought it was going to be brand new like the grill just like repackaged do you feel like

Because it was listed as, quote, box opened.

Okay. Do you think that they misrepresented or do you feel like we misunderstood? That's the key. Like, do you think that this seller tried to get away with something? Because the fact that it won't move again and there's no obstructions and the fact when I very, very first opened it and hit the trigger the first time, it did something a little bit janky like that. I'm wondering if there's like a seller out there who kind of pulled one over on Amazon.

I don't know. I mean I didn't do I maybe didn't do my full due diligence on this I I was really frustrated because this thing was like new it's it's kind of an expensive piece of equipment and I saw it like several weeks ago on sale for like 30 or 40 dollars less than it currently is so I was really frustrated with myself that I didn't jump on it then and so when we when it came time to say okay we have to get this and it was this full and it was the higher price I was feeling cheap and I saw that there was this previously owned one and it just said box opened but I didn't like really I didn't go down a rabbit hole of trying to figure out what that meant I just like I heard you talk about our grill I just thought like oh well the grill was such a good experience because

it was functionally brand well there were a bunch of half-cooked hot dogs rattling around in the box it was otherwise seemed brand new I just want to know are we going to have the opportunity to write a negative Amazon review we always have that yeah like should we really just go scorched earth on

this yeah let's i think i think the term box opened is misleading i put that on them because box open strikes me as they're just saying used to me used is like somebody went out and trimmed their hedge with this box open sounds like maybe they opened the box looked at it decided it wasn't for them a la your grill i feel like that's a little bit that would be that would confuse me

it was confusing and i i'm not a hundred the reason i'm hedging if you will a little bit we will is that i i kind of looked at it quickly and was like oh good it's 50 less than the full price one um i'm just gonna grab this one and i didn't like there might have been something to click on to see like what does what does what condition does it mean in this particular case and i just didn't really do my due diligence which is unlike me because usually i go down a comparison shopping rabbit hole on everything well it might have been this is the lesson always

go down the rabbit hole yeah i was that's right putting a lot of pressure on you too because i really want to get this done i mean i don't know if you heard this part of it but oh we did get refunded by the way oh we got our money back they they picked it up ups has already picked it up um are you concerned that if i don't get out there to finish the hedges before bingo comes home do you think that bingo will sort of like wonder what kind of a family he's coming into that would leave

projects half done like that that's a question luke i'm just concerned about bingo like realizing that he's kind of come to the hood you know right no kidding he's left like a beautiful pastoral yeah like this like beautifully huge green spread in tacoma and like the sort of suburbs of tacoma uh beautiful big house with a gorgeous vista now he's like you know pretty much in well he's kind of like moving to grand theft auto whatever the name of that town is it's a real it's a real

reverse fresh prince situation it really is well cat massage there's plenty of massage parlors around here that's good sure you got i don't know what a cat massage happy ending oh god

graphic uh well uh listen vives thank you for the uh update and i'm i'm with you i'll beep that andrew was saying andrew was saying that he worries that he's sort of offloading all of the hard work to you about the like price matching and booking things but i was like as a person who gets off on that stuff yeah i love like i spent four hours yesterday trying to figure out how to fly to ottawa canada while getting as many alaska miles as i can by the way they don't fly to canada like it is a whole situation but i was just just in my just glory trying to figure out if i could somehow hack the system to make it the most you were trying to do one of those things where you

don't even need to get there you just needed miles because i think our pal barry does that he'll he used to he would take like a i hope i'm not sure if i should be outing him doing that i guess it's not environmentally friendly but i think it's okay to say that but like he would like he would take a trip to new york and back and like spend an hour in new york just to get miles um i'm not

above that by the way but in this particular case no i legit have to go to ottawa okay um we're doing a story about those hallmark christmas movies oh yeah oh yeah that's like a whole industry and they shoot a bunch of them up there so i'm going there and i apparently there's a chance that i'll actually get to be like a very very background extra in one of them fun christmas comes home starring holly robinson pete will you be a mouse uh will you be a dancing mouse isn't

that who did haven't you been in the christmas special on stage before i haven't you like Yeah, that was the ballet.

Okay, right. But anyway, I was thinking of you yesterday. yesterday as i was trying to travel hack this thing to within an inch of its life i don't mind

andrew leaving that stuff to me i would i insist that he does because i know what happens if he doesn't which is we gotta go to a break which is that he'll just buy the thing right and he won't necessarily look for the best deal and then i'll be frustrated because i always want to know that i got the best deal on something um and or find out like if it's if there's no deal to be had is there a cash back situation to be had if there's you know no cash back situation is there a points situation is are all of the coupons being applied as they should be properly so

yeah i don't have a plug-in on your i've got multiple plugins on my browser that that just do those like promo codes and stuff absolutely will you text me some of those yeah i use i have

three of them and i try them all every time and sometimes they don't all they're not all the same

i think like one time i don't have any plugins but like i was buying something i forget what it was and i was like god it would be great to have a promo code and i was like internet hey gorgle is there a promo code for whatever this thing was and then like some website has all the you know yeah and like it never works but it worked one time and i mean that was one of the most satisfying purchases i've ever made oh yeah i just like knocked 30 bucks off the cost of this just because i was you know took two more minutes to see if there was a promo code floating around

I feel like I could get tipped over so easily into being one of those super couponers, especially now that so much of it's digital.

Well, you know, now that you've got another animal living in the house, I mean, you that obviously adds a lot of stress to the budget. You may need to super coupon just to pay for bingos. Absolutely.

All right. I'll let you get back to the show. Sorry. Sorry to leap in here.

No, I was always always an improvement to the program without question.

I gave Luke three options of things I could talk about, and then halfway through each story, I realized, oh, I'm not going anywhere with this, so thanks for saving the day.

Okay, we should, at the 47-minute mark, go ahead and take our first break, and then we'll come back, and I don't know what we'll do. We'll do something. God knows.

We're in pain over here. What's that? We're in pain over here. We're just licking our wounds after yesterday. Exactly.

I mean, I'm proud that only 40% of this show so far has been Mariners-related. So I feel like that represents some growth for us. All right, quick break, and then back with more TBTL in a moment. All right, let's thank some of our daily donors who are making today's episode possible with their generous support. They're keeping us in pole trimmer money thanks to their contributions. Folks like Sherry Steelsmith Duffin in Bonny Lake, Washington.

Bonny Lake! Now, do you have a parental connection there, or am I always confusing?

No, I have a Hyundai connection there. Bonny Lake probably comes up, I'd say, like four or five times a year on the show because of donors being there or maybe a story. Also, oh, no, that's Sumner. I was going to say low overhead Sumner. Are you talking about tiny overhead Bonny Lake? I think tiny overhead Sumner is near tiny overhead Bonny Lake. I think they're both kind of sort of southeast of the kind of urban core of Seattle, kind of heading towards Mount Rainier is how I think of those areas. I once bought a Hyundai Accel in Bonny Lake, which will live forever in my mind, as will Sherry Steelsmith-Duffin for their support. But thanks, Sherry. Brent Hopkins is in Los Angeles, California, a place where I bought zero Hyundais. In fact, I never bought a car while I lived in L.A. For the many, not many years, but I don't know, however many, six, seven years it was. I came down with, that's not true. I did buy a car there. I bought a Volkswagen Cabrio that ended up mostly being my ex-wife's car, but it was a convertible. Ooh, in L.A. It was so much fun. I mean, talk about leading into the stereotype. But it was like we had a Subaru that was up in Seattle. I got to L.A. before she did because I had to start my job right away. And so we needed a second car. And it was like pretty cheap, actually. I think it was like a four-speed stick. And it was a convertible. And driving around L.A. in a little four-speed convertible, that was fun. You were like Steve Martin in L.A. Story. Exactly. I went to a clothing store. i met sarah jessica parker nothing happened because i was married but um i saw la story in a theater and completely and totally didn't understand it or the humor and i bet you if i watched it now i would i would think it was funny i feel like i was like 15 or 16 yeah we were young when that came out we might have even been younger than that in fact and i was it's just like everyone loves this movie and like i like steve martin because of the jerk yeah so i was like oh it's a steve martin film and then i was like i don't get i don't also i'd never been to la at that point i think it was a very like almost like a woody woody allen's take on new york culture was this was kind of a wry take on like los angeles culture and its absurdity

it was uh 1991 so you're right you probably would have been about 14 at the time i think or 15 anyway

Thank you, Brent, keeping it going for us down there in Los Angeles. Then we've got Amanda Marvell, who's in Durham, North Carolina. I believe that's part of the research triangle, right?

I believe so, yes. I've never been, but I want to go. I've never been to a lot of those kind of mid—well, I mean, as a kid, we would kind of, I think, go on vacation to North Carolina every now and then, but I was very young. But as an adult, I want to visit those mid-Atlantic states.

I only hear good things about that part of North Carolina and the whole—all of the really you know cool like i said research that's going on there and stuff like that thank you amanda also thanks to josh thompson who's in amherst massachusetts now do i say amherst funny nope you say it exactly i mean you did say it properly yep yep amherst okay there's that's not one of their college town right amherst thank you josh yes i believe so is the school

is called amherst right i why did i even say that yeah i think it is i think it is yeah okay good Well, the school's called Amherst. No, it's UMass. It's UMass Amherst. Oh, UMass is at Amherst? Yes, that's right. Yeah, yeah. I think that's UMass Amherst, yeah.

All I know about UMass was John Calipari was the men's basketball coach there, and they had some pretty hot years there. I don't know what Josh's take on that is, if Josh was a fan or what, but we do know Josh is a fan of this show because he's donating. So thanks, Josh.

There is also Amherst College. Maybe that's what you're talking about.

That's what I was thinking. Okay, gotcha. So there is an Amherst College, right?

That's what I'm thinking, because I think I know somebody who went there, but there is an Amherst College. Sorry for the confusion. Okay, good.

Well, we were both right. Jennifer Stockall is in Stockton, California. Oh, Stockton.

Okay, we have a couple of listeners in Stockton.

It's the time of year where I point out that Jennifer's last name is very close to the town, to the city that Jennifer is checking in from. Thank you, Jennifer. We really appreciate your support. Also, Kevin Johnson is in Marysville, Washington. I am going to figure this isn't former Phoenix Sun starting point guard Kevin Johnson.

Why do you figure that? Why do you assume that? Because we can't, we don't have the draw. I just haven't heard about him relocating to Marysville.

Okay. But, I mean, I guess we can't rule it out. So, whichever Kevin Johnson this is, Kevin, thank you very much. I feel like we could welcome Kevin into our friend group because I've got about five other friends that are named Kevin. I mean, I could just have a text chain that was just the Kevins in my life. Yeah.

do you know oh i well maybe this is not the appropriate time to bring this up but there's some guy named andrew walsh on instagram who is trying really hard to connect with me and he even left a voicemail on our voicemail line saying hey i hit you up on instagram i'm just trying to reach out to other andrew walshes um but and i just for some reason i just got the feeling like i didn't

want to get involved with this guy so this is not the andrew walsh who was a teacher of one of our listeners no that was a student tracked down that was your actual doppelganger that person wasn't

Yeah, the person who reached out to me was not Andrew Walsh. That was a student saying, hey, I'm looking for my old teacher, Andrew Walsh. Are you that guy? And we ended up reconnecting them. But no, this is a fella on Instagram whose name is Andrew Walsh, who is trying to reach out to other Andrew Walshes. I don't know if it's part of a project or just him scratching an itch or whatever. He reached out to me on Instagram. I ignored it. And then a few days later, I realized that he went to my link tree or something, found contact information for tbtl and has called the tbtl voicemail line asking if we could connect in some way i have not responded i mean i mean at this point now that you've brought it up i feel like you probably have to follow through do i maybe i'll try to play the voicemail for you later

if i can find it i feel like because we've been out there in the world chasing down andrew walsh's

karmically now maybe you i don't want to tell you maybe if we could turn it i mean maybe if we Maybe that's where I lacked imagination. I mean, I would feel more comfortable if he wants to connect on the show. Like, hey, all right, listen, fine, we'll do this and we'll turn it into a bit on the show. But in my personal life, I don't feel like making friends with Andrew Walsh.

Okay. You know what? You've got hedges to trim and cats to mentor. I mean, you've got a lot going on. So I understand that. I don't want to tell you how to live your life. You know why I have the reaction I have Is because in the early days of this show Like I want to say in the first Maybe month or two we were on the radio The story came out about You know I guess Google gangers now we might call them People that have the same name as you That you can find on the internet And we tried to reach out To the other Luke Burbank we could find at that time Who declined our request to come on the show So I know

the pain that this other andrew walsh is feeling um of being turned down by a person with the exact

Thank you.

same name it's a specific kind of rejection when someone who has your exact name is like yeah no

i'd rather not well i'm gonna see if i can um if i can find the actual voicemail and play it at the end of the show i'm going with your voicemails now looking at transcripts because i i'd like your read on on this this person so we'll try to do that also andrew walsh is a pro it's a more common

name than my name probably and so it did it get did it give you the feeling of being kind of like

a fairly wide net being cast i sort of got that impression and there was yeah i don't know why i was reluctant in this case it didn't i didn't know what the end game was other than somebody kind of spoofing and goofing around i mean i believe that their name is andrew walsh but i was just kind of like what's my um you know what what are we am i going to be forced to sing happy birthday to other andrew right exactly i you know i'm not sure that i would belong to any andrew walsh club that would have andrew walsh as a member here i go once again with the email

every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female now your ears are not

deceiving you we did skip completely over the top that's okay people expect that i felt like uh we can the the two top stories i promoted today will will be equally in fact you know what we can actually we'll have more info on what the supreme court is doing with this prince a photograph tomorrow basically the one thing i wanted to say was so they're having this you know hearing about it or whatever you call it and this is from adam liptack uh on twitter justice this is like a real nina totenberg style you know justice uh alito yeah justice thomas um they don't have to do that anymore now though you know that because they're like they're streaming they started streaming the arguments during covid and now because they wouldn't let people in the room and now they will let people in the room but they're continuing to stream the arguments i don't

know if i've heard any of that or that i noticed that necessarily i feel like i would have uh no you know what now that you say that i do think i've heard some sound of actual justices but you know i don't think i kind of marked the occasion i am so wait i want to read you this tweet from

justice thomas let's say i was a prince fan which i was in the 80s justice kegan quote no longer question mark so that's what's going on there right now sorry i cut you off has questions about why justice thomas was a prince fan in the 80s um sorry for cutting you off there i was

distracted so i sort of lost the thread that you were building up to something i feel like a bad such a thread too it was one of my finest threads well i was i am i am distracted i i gotta say that i do not have time i can't find this voicemail from this listener so i'll try to find that maybe for another time uh on the show because i can't do this on the fly i'm already back to september and i'm not seeing it what if i do is this it no the problem here you want to know the problem this is so uninteresting and then i'm going to read an email um when people leave voicemails for us on the voicemail line they usually start by saying hey Luke and Andrew and then uh you know Google Voice will try to make a transcript of it and that's what I'm clicking through now looking for transcripts the thing is Google Voice often translates hey Luke and Andrew to hey looking Andrew and so I keep on seeing all these voicemails that I think it's the person saying hey I'm looking for Andrew but I realize no all of these are uh hi Luke and Andrew and so that's why I'm kind of flailing about here but i do have an email i could read if you're um interested in that okay i'm very interested um okay this is from listener craig in denver now you and i have talking have been talking about mascots on the show a lot lately in fact yesterday we dedicated a lot of time to rocky the by the way they call him super mascot rocky uh who uh i guess represents the denver nuggets the nba team there and i saw various pictures of him and when i first looked him up i only saw these pictures of the mascot when he was shirtless and like super super jacked up what is he again he's a mountain lion is that right yeah i believe so but he's like super jacked up mountain lion it kind of gave me the kind of gave me the creeps a little bit and then as i looked at more photos i see that usually he is wearing a shirt and like dunking the basketball and doing various things but i didn't know much about him get this email from craig in denver who says and by the way like craig is passionate about this and i love this passion it is contagious bro i have but one mascot love in my life and it's for rocky the mountain lion the avalanche mascot is pretty lame that's the hockey team right and i actively despise both the Rockies and the Broncos mascots, but I would take a bullet for Denver. nuggets mascot rocky he has been around since 1990 and during that time his antics have won him devotion in denver that is unmatched literally all sports fans here love him his best known bit is attempting and usually succeeding in making a half court shot with his back to the basket during the break between the third and fourth quarters he almost always hits one which is unreal doing that is so hard even if you're not wearing a giant mascot head that's honestly that's

a really good point because some of these mascots like the charlotte hornets i mean the charlotte hornets don't even exist anymore right wait a second i thought i don't know i don't follow that wait a darn wait a damn second i don't have because i was yesterday using my other computer i don't have the list in front of me but i feel like on the list of the highest paid mascots i have a vivid memory of there being a picture of the charlotte hornets mascot but like um they're the charlotte bobcats now they haven't been the charlotte hornets since the days of larry johnson and grandmama oh really raising the question how is the charlotte how can we believe that list when they're listing the charlotte hornets mascot as one of the top paid the wait i'm seeing that

wikipedia is saying are not was the charlotte hornets are an american professional basketball team based in Charlotte aren't they called the Bobcats I mean I don't I don't really follow the

NBA but they've been the oak did I did am I totally confusing my because I thought Charlotte had a team and it left like they had the Hornets and then the Hornets went to New Orleans and became the Pelicans and then they got a new team and I thought they were called the Charlotte

Bobcats I'm not sure but it would appear like at first glance here that the Charlotte Hornets

what an nba team was um are still here's what i was going to say really quickly though was like okay so that charlotte mascot they get to have basically like just a kind of a hood on and some goggles but like nothing gigantic like rocky has to work around like rock one of the definitive characteristics of rocky is like you said a huge jaw a huge head like trying to throw a basketball around that over it and then backwards into the hoop that is real talent when they came back

according to wikipedia um they suspended operations for two seasons and then they rebranded as the bobcats uh under new ownership in the 2004 2005 season and then in 2013 the bobcats announced that they would change the name back to the charlotte hornets so you're not the part that i missed yeah so they are the charlotte hornets it's only been uh 10 years since they did still though you must be happy to know that like whatever your brain was doing wasn't totally

made up out of whole well you know what's interesting is that pretty much coincides with when around when i stopped really caring about the nba because of the sonics yeah that makes sense so it's like when they're the bobcats i'm noting it and then i bet you that would line up pretty closely to the sonics moving to oklahoma city and me just kind of checking out of that

whole information stream gotcha but back to your point though and craig's point like that is something that i don't think about a lot with mascots because i guess the the sports that i watch the mascot is not asked to do anything other than wave a flag if it's the mariner moose maybe drive around in a in a four-wheeler or something as you as you describe it um you know blitz the the seahawk thing just sort of waves its wings in the end zone like i guess basketball generally speaking is an atmosphere where you demand more from your mascots like there's more yes tom foolery in fact i will i will continue with craig's email here um rocky does remarkably dangerous things all the time like bungee jumping from the rafters of the arena sledding down arena steps and even engaging in years-long hilarious feud with charles barkley that began when barkley head-butted him and pretty much only ended when barkley retired the rockets actually flew rocky to houston for barkley's retirement um these antics are actually hilarious and not the lame sort that you see in less talented mascots um this is my favorite part when i heard that he was the highest paid mascot in the country i said to myself damn right followed by being surprised his salary was only six hundred thousand dollars so i mean another good point raised by listener

craig even if this isn't exactly his point but it's like i'm sitting here agog that somebody who's you know putting their body at pretty great risk and entertaining you know hundreds of thousands of people throughout the course of a year, even if I think they're a little too buff for my liking as a mascot, that person getting, let's just say, go with the high estimate and say it's 600,000 plus a year, compared to the worst player on the basketball team. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless under some weird rookie minimum or something. But this is, I mean, the NBA, the owners of any NBA, NFL, MLB team. Those owners have a monopoly and they it's the only thing I can think of that never depreciates as an asset, which is one of those teams. And it's because there's not that many of them and they keep it that way for a reason. Hence, Seattle not having a basketball team still like those people can part with 600K for someone to almost die on a, you know, however many nights a year that they're playing in at Ball Arena, I think, is the name of the court where they play in Denver.

I think about how many jobs I could not do because of my fear of heights. I was thinking about that when I was on the ladder the other day, trimming the hedges, just thinking like, well, this is about as high as I'm willing to go on this new ladder. I have like an eight foot ladder now, not to brag. And I'm like, yeah, like any like so many because I'm always thinking like, well, when we get fired, like I'm going to have to like get a job, you know, trimming hedges or working in a movie theater. I don't know how I'm going to pay the bills. Honestly, I always wonder if there are jobs at the airport for me. I don't know why I'm thinking about that. But I always think that, yeah, but like what kind of jobs would, you know, require me to stand on a ladder that's taller than eight feet? You know, like, I mean, a lot of jobs require you to go up high and I just simply cannot do that anymore. So my value in the marketplace is my point is going down daily.

i think it's interesting that you're worried that your next like all the fallback position all the all the other jobs available to you involve ladders none yeah they're and none of

them are in my field too like i i don't know i'm not exactly sure what i'm doing but this has been like the the loop of my thought process for years and years and years now like why wouldn't i apply for a job at a public radio station i don't know because i'm applying for jobs as hedge trimmers

at the airport i'm applying for a job putting the marquee up when we change the movie but i gotta

get on a big ladder for that do i need to do i need to uh go on ladders for the uh to be the guy who changes the marquee or can i just get one of those long poles that they change each letter with

from the ground it's funny because when we do live wire at the alberta rose theater which by the way happening this week come on down thursday night we'll be there um it's i i will totally admit that of the things that i do for my kind of various jobs the the thing that actually makes me feel like wow this is a really real thing is that they have the marquee will say live you know tonight live wire with luke burbank and i will admit that that is kind of a sort of a cool thing to see but what's funny is the show will be done and i'm walking out and they've already changed it oh to the night oh yeah to the next night which yeah of course makes sense that's how it should be but it's just like it's like don't get don't don't get too proud of yourself burbs because at about at exactly 9 15 p.m they've got that thing down and it's like tomorrow night melissa etheridge or whatever you know it's like that's good company though i mean let's be honest melissa etheridge would probably play like arlene schnitzer or something probably a place a little bigger than the alberta rose but um you know who was playing there do you remember the wayne's world film i do do you remember tia carrera very much so yes kind of the love interest yeah i was standing outside the theater the alberta rose the other day just looking at the posters for else was coming and tia carrera was coming as part of a kind of hawaiian music night oh really

yeah i remember when that movie was out i had a big crush on her but as an age when i had a crush

on any you know leading woman in a movie i think um yeah i i believe she played the big song in

that movie was ballroom blitz right yeah which was a cover cover yeah but is it a ramones cover no but i feel like it was part of that like kind of power pop era that you and i um talk about a lot i'm trying to figure out who did it who did the song originally oh it was a band called the suite and i'll bet you if you and i went and listened to more of the suite that would be

very much up our alley so uh come see live wire on thursday night and stay for tia carrera the next day and the hawaiian music spectacular um all right i guess andrew probably that's gonna do it

for today's show i think that'll do it i'll let you know tomorrow no no i won't sorry listeners i i'll i'll lay off the hedge talk but supposedly i today a trimmer should be arriving and saturday

a kitten should be arriving yeah i'm telling you man well just please do send me a photo of the completion because i don't have a touch of the ocd but i do enjoy i would i would enjoy seeing that

thing completely and totally trimmed i can't wait because now once i do this once i get it like really i'm cutting off tons but it should be just maintenance phase after this right i'm never going to let it get as bad as it got that last time so right you're putting in the hard work now and it

will be like you said maintenance from here speaking of which aubrey gordon from the great podcast maintenance phase will also be on liveware on thursday night all right thanks for listening i No, that was amazing. Slipped that one in. Thanks.

for listening, everyone. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. Until then, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. Do not go to the top rung of the ladder ever under any circumstances. And also remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Ladders. They can be your stairway to heaven or your ticket to hell every year clueless adults get up high on ladders while high on beer wine and other mind-altering liquors sure our society makes light of ladders champion ladder climbers grace our every cereal box and ladder themed entertainment keeps our children in stitches but in real life these climbing machines can be killing machines power out So, let's go.