Muse

So, Frederica, you read both verse and poetry. Perhaps the most significant in forming one's principles is that of the old prophet who came down from the mount with tablets bearing the Twelve Commandments which our Lord has taught us to obey without fail. Twelve Commandments. Excuse me, but I believe there were only ten Really? Only ten must be obeyed Excellent Well then, which two to take off? TBTL

Here's a sentence I never thought I'd say But if you thought a sausage couldn't really hurt anyone Frankly, think again

Okay, Julia, can you say T-B-T-L? L. T. T. T. B. T. L. Don't take this the wrong way, but you've just been kind of hanging around a lot lately, which isn't a bad thing, but it's also not a good thing.

I love these guys. They make funny with their mouths.

all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a thursday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live be careful though it's spicy my name is luke burbank i'm your host

the sexy golf bad boy is back at it again ladies and gentlemen coming to you from the hollywood

broadcast center right here in portland oregon where it's like oh ma pa it's just beautiful it's gonna be in the 80s again uh i i don't think i've ever experienced a fall like this in the northwest where uh i mean it is just absolutely beautiful out there ma and pa and i'm okay with that i will enjoy this that i know this drop i play it too much and it's it's overused but We are about to go into, presumably anyway, like six months where I can never play this.

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

So I'm saying just enjoy it now while we have it, folks. And also, we hope that you will enjoy episode 3792 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. The Supreme Court yesterday heard arguments related to this photograph of Prince.

Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?

and we've actually got an audio of the Supreme Court and also of one of the attorneys, the attorney who is representing the photographer who took the picture, who says that Andy Warhol's estate is ripping the photographer off. And I feel like the attorney is making a slightly erroneous argument related to Star Wars, which we'll play. Also, according to the great, and I mean that, the great Nina Totenberg's reporting yesterday, The Supreme Court is having fun again Ready to laugh and drop until your socks come off So that's great They're having fun again everybody And we'll play you some of that tape Also an update in the fishing cheating scandal

It's a tuna bro

Those fellers in Ohio Who are stuffing fish with weights Now the law is weighing in On the matter so we will talk about that Also it's a Thursday A.k.a. Blur's Day So we will do some

Blur's Day messages

I will do all of that with the help of this handsome young stranger, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. His cat Bingo has not even arrived yet, but he's already sending the cat mental messages because yesterday Bingo did have a surgery to contain his manhood.

I love you so much. You literally are my best friend. You did not deserve what happened to you on Wednesday.

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. First of all, I owe you an apology because I don't know if you noticed, but for a moment or two there during your introduction, the music underneath you was a little bit too hot. I'm sorry. I got distracted by an email, and I started reading this email, and then all of a sudden I realized, whoa, the music was sort of forcing you out there. So my apologies. I mean, are you okay? Okay. Apology accepted. Did you notice that? I absolutely did not.

I told you, I go into a flow state for the first, like, four minutes of the show. It's out of body. I'm hovering above my apartment building, just delivering, I think, some of the most high-quality entertainment in the podcast space. But because of that, I don't ever hear what's going on in terms of, like, you coughing or the music is the wrong level or anything like that.

But, I mean, there's got to be, like, if I'm...

blasting the music it's got to be distracting right like do you want to do your intro again i'll be totally honest with you yeah do we i mean do you want to see how loud i can make it and have

you 3 792 episodes in and i'm going to finally tell you this there is a thing that happens in my headphones right when the tbtl like acapella sounder happens it always hits my ears as being a little on the loud side for my experience i'm not saying for the listener's experience i'm not saying this is the mix because actually your audio mixing skills are on point no i actually think

you're right it hits me loud too i don't know why i i always i usually try to ride that i'm the one who makes the mixes but i know exactly what you're talking about and i don't think it's just you so i

often turn my headphones down when that happens and then i don't turn them back up until you and i are chatting so because of that i i don't want to sound like i'm being critical because i'm really

not you do an amazing job with the audio on the show of a guy i do think that the listeners get a different experience because when we're done recording the show then I process things down once more and probably even them out but in the recording experience I admit that somehow I'm hitting that acapella sound too hot when I'm making these things you're absolutely right and I should apologize again you're right I should apologize again and we should probably report this to our supervisor Beth

if I knew who that was I would figure out a way to get into my APM email and report to that person actually the i think the last time god this is going back the last time that i was actually responsible for posting the show for recording and posting the show i was just that too loud okay sorry go you forget how crazy ben lee likes to get at the end of that song

easy easy everybody calm easy uh uh whoever the lead singer of acdc is i sound like i'll start

seeing dirty deeds done dirt cheap is it brian johnson is that the lead singer of acd because

they well they replaced him after the first one either left or passed on right yeah i think i

feel like the was the original lead singer of acdc named brian johnson maybe anyway the last time that i had any responsibility for the audio of this show i believe i was in joshua tree for a a series of days i think i was just on like a vision quest or something like i don't think i was doing a tv story i was just out there in joshua tree and you must have been on vacation or something i mean it's a very rare event where it was me recording and me posting it was just like on me and when i tell you andrew the levels were deeply fucked like i think i was driving that yeah yeah that i was driving a bit of a stir yeah yeah rightfully so i remember driving from joshua tree into la because i was actually then eventually doing a story with our friend john i was doing a profile of wolfgang puck at the oscars i just remember driving from joshua tree to la and like listening to the show after it posted and just being horrified it was it was really really

low but then the commercials are mixed by me and so that like you you submitted some audio that was really really low and then people turned up their devices to hear it and then they would get to the commercials which are produced by me and insert it automatically and it was blowing out people's

ears i think we had several lawsuits oh it was yeah it was not good at all so all of that is to say You do a great job with the audio on this show And I am very appreciative of your talents Because that is not A gift that I I do not have that gift So I don't want you to think I'm giving you grief Over the fact that sometimes the TBTL It feels 5% hot

Hey let me tell you this Just because we have people who are probably Yelling this at their phones Right now Hopefully they're not in public But Brian Johnson is the lead singer of ACDC He's the one who replaced Bon Scott, who Bon Scott, Bon Scott was the original singer who did end up passing away. I'm not sure which one saying dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap, but that's a little earworm for me. You ever just walk around town just muttering to yourself dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap because I hadn't previously, but I think I'm going to start now.

That's fun. Yeah, that's that's sort of like the kraut rock version of that song. it's a click track going

just a tight 17 and a half minutes of that yes put it in my veins absolutely

also do you think i'm one of the few people on earth who for some reason knows the name of the

replacement guy in ac well he's been doing it much longer i mean and he's the longest

bon scott was did not was not with the band for years and years and years no he founder he was

the founder and he, you know, I think established the sound, but he passed. He passed away in 1980, and it looks like the band started in 1974. So the band that—and I'm looking this up on Wikipedia. I mean, I sort of had some vague knowledge of this. But the ACDC that I listened to was more modern. I did have several ACDC albums. I don't think I had any of the original stuff from Bon Scott. But I know that Kevin and I talk about this all the time, or I force this conversation upon our friend Kamero Kev all the time. So maybe you've maybe you've caught some some stray bullets of this conversation. But like, it is amazing that I'm the album The Razor's Edge, which I'm going to say is probably around 1990. I mean, don't quote me on that. I'm just shooting from the hip here. I was I would I was I was in eighth grade. I remember I would listen to that record while leaf blowing the driveway in Medina, Ohio, in our new house. And I'd listen to that in Back in Black over and over and over again. And there is a song on the Razor's Edge, which is not a Christmas record, by the way, but there is a song. It's just like a beloved ACDC Christmas records. But they do have a song and they're called Mistress for Christmas. And it goes, as you might guess, as in the ACDC song, I want a mistress for Christmas is how the chorus goes. And it's just I mean, as a Christmas carol, I find it hilarious. And secondly, it's just on an album. it's not you know some bands will release like a little like a christmas single or something like that for but now they're just like well mistress for christmas sure put that on the razor's edge that fits perfectly i think we're done here boys i have so many thoughts first of all

if you ever do karaoke i want you to do mistress for christmas please for me also um that feels like a song that only came into existence because brian johnson noticed that the words mistress and christmas rhyme oh you think like i just i'm imagining him just like on a tour bus somewhere outside of perth just doing a fat fat line and just thinking like mistress mistress christmas christmas all right i've got a song by the way when i'm doing the australian accent you'll know but um that's also i i was so not allowed to listen to acdc i would say acdc was very near the top of the list i wasn't allowed to listen to non-christian music but there were non-christian bands that were especially especially not allowed and like acdc with highway to hell and just their loud brashness and uh that was i mean And that was that and Madonna were like the tip top of the list of things that my parents would have absolutely spanked me if I listened to.

I mean, the funny thing about ACDC is, yes, I mean, they do have that kind of hard rock sound, but like they're nothing but childish double entendres, which is why like somebody in eighth grade would like. I mean, they are the they are the musical embodiment of the eggplant emoji, essentially. Right. Like they just are just like everything is a double entendre. I'm looking. I was going to read you the lyrics, though, of Mistress for Christmas. the very first um the very first can i guess stanza is really it's really quite dirty actually i don't even want to read it with his balls no that's i feel like that's i was gonna say that's

too late to have them re-record the songs i feel like that's a good if you're writing a really dirty christmas song i feel like that i'm pretty proud of that you know i was gonna say no that's

too like that's too blunt but how could that be too blunt for a band that had a song called and this was the bond scott era i believe they have a song called we have big balls right or it's just called big balls and the chorus is we've got the biggest balls of them all do you know i think i

always thought that was like a spinal tap no no song no that's a real that's a real song by a karaoke and i never knew by the way no offense but i hate that shit yeah i hate it of course people do i hate it when people do that song at karaoke i hate it when people do um oh at karaoke

too yeah i would hate that too i also just hate the fact that that song exists it's so i don't

like it when people do the um like um f me gently uh uh what's the tenacious d song don't nobody do

any tenacious d karaoke you're not jack black we don't need that please and chances are if you're a jack black fan you're going overboard too you're like of course you are because you saw school of

rock and it's amazing how how clever that is but like i don't i actually like think jack black is really talented and i i think i like jack black in the existing in the world very much i don't like people doing their jack black at karaoke but it's really more more the issue is it's not like any tenacious d song to me it's any song that's main comedic value is that it's dirty and you're doing it in a public place and then i have to listen to it that It's funny because, you know, my parents had all these really silly, strict, overly puritanical rules around the music I could listen to. And apparently it worked because I don't like ACDC. I don't go in for songs that are crude or fresh. Like, it's one of the few examples of, like, restricting something from someone and then them going like, yeah, I agree with these restrictions in adulthood.

Yeah, well, you also just developed taste, which may or may not, like, be related to those rulings or not. I mean, it's just but there is also just the it's the obnoxiousness of the way. And I know I've said this on the show before, and he's a dear friend of mine, and I'm not going to say his name. But, you know, I have a friend who can actually sing pretty well, and he actually makes a bunch of parody songs. He submitted them to Comedy Bang Bang and actually got on the show. But one time you, me, him and a big group of people, and I could be wrong about this. I hope I'm wrong about this. there might this might have left early this might have been the same time that we were sharing a karaoke room with a bunch of it might have been like a live wire party that can't be right i think it was the same room but a different time anyway it was you and me and a bunch of friends and maybe some people we didn't even know that well and this friend of ours did um wrecking ball but did a screamo top of his lung in a room not even a bar yeah do you remember like honestly it's burned in my brain remo wrecking ball and i'm like you could actually do that song nice why are you why are you doing this i was so embarrassed for everybody involved you never realize how long the

song wrecking ball is until someone's doing a scream over in a pretty small room like i you i would have thought that song is 40 minutes long after that and and they did not break they didn't like look around and go like oh everyone's horrified i'll just shift into singing i'll laugh it off nope whole from the first note till the end yeah just screaming wrecking ball yeah

that was that was a long four minutes that was a very long time but it's funny that you're you're saying you don't like the people who do this funny dirty songs yet you're encouraging me to do mistress for christmas because i'm i'm telling you telling you i'm reading the lyrics right now and i'm not going to share them because that that first one is uh quite i mean there's no bad language in there But it's quite filthy, quite filthy indeed.

Well, I feel like because, like, if you're doing karaoke, it also means that there's an asteroid headed for Earth that they can knock off course. Yeah, if I personally am doing it, yes. And at that point, all bets are off. You know what? Everybody can do Tenacious D. Everybody can do whatever they want. We're looking up in the sky, and it's like, we can see the asteroid. And so I will officially stop being so judgy if that, because that's the only way you'd be doing karaoke. Did you see The Moon last night, by the way?

No, but I saw The Moon a couple of days ago where it looked like it was going to fall out of the sky under the weight of – it was so low and big it looked like the movie Moonstruck.

I mean, yeah, I think it was – there was always a clever name for which moon. It was not Super Blood or something, but it was like – it was some other name for it. And I think last night was maybe a day or two after the, like, sort of peak of it. But even last night, even like a day or two out, it was like you said, I was just driving. I was going to get some groceries and it looked like it was just sitting on the end of Burnside here in Portland. It looked like it was resting on the street. I was like, this is incredible.

I wonder if it would be a fun quiz. Would you say like resting blood moon or something? It would be funny to put together a quiz. Is it a phase of the moon or a marijuana strain? and I'll see if maybe for the winter games.

Oh, yeah. Speaking of which, send us your ideas. It's amazing. I mean, we're still a couple months out, but the winter games are looming.

Yeah, I'd love to. I mean, again, we're not starting them like this week or anything. We have a little bit of time, but I do love producing those in advance, and the listeners have been amazing with the quizzes and games they've been sending in for us to tackle during those weeks. So, yeah, start sending them in if you're hanging on to anything. I did want to say the reason I was distracted at the top of the show and the reason the music was too loud and the reason why you're filing a complaint with the union and management is because I was reading this email from our friend Kayla in Stockton. And I got to say, there was something on my mind today, which is that I did. There's not even a story here, so I'm not going to get into it. But I did finish the hedges yesterday with my brand new pole trimmer and the new ladder. It's done. it was a bear it was a tough job to finish but even with the new even with the new brand new non non-bowed trim yeah i mean the trimmer is much better it's brand new i realized that that thing that we bought before like we got 50 off of it but it was like so used like that was that was not a good used purchase but we got to test it out it broke sent it back got the new pole trim It's all detailed in yesterday's excruciating show. But the problem isn't like the fact that it's not sharp. It's just that you have to reach so far and you have to take this tall ladder onto both sides of the hedge. The hedge, again, is about 20 feet wide. It's like I was testing I could lay two full yard rakes across it and they don't touch in the middle. Oh, my God. So that's how. So I'm on the tippy top of this ladder still like reaching as far as I can. And the alleyway that is behind our house that I also need to set the ladder up in. is just it's like it's not even potholes it's like bombed out like if you were to if somebody bonked you on the head and you woke up in the alleyway behind my house you would think that you were in a war zone in between bombings like just huge holes in the ground so it's it's really hard to get the ladder to be stable and see that yeah and so i'm like that's where i'm gonna put bingo when he comes home anyway uh i didn't want to get into a lot of detail about it but i did finish it it feels good it's not i'll send you a photo luke it's not as um even as i would want it to be you know the other uh shrubs around our house our hedges are much more even because they were easier to tackle but it's done and i'm proud of that the thing that i wanted to say though was i was not going to bring that up on the show today um because i just sort of felt like my story yesterday had really no power out or point really at all i was a little embarrassed about that but our friend Kayla from Stockton apparently posted something to the TBTL Stens page on Facebook yesterday now I don't have access to that but she took a bunch of screenshots and sent it to me she wanted to start a petition saying I I don't know if people were complaining about hedge talk or something but Kayla said I love hedge talk anybody want to support this and just sent me screenshot and screenshot and screenshot of people saying I'm here for hedge talk the boys can talk

about whatever they want I love hedge talk it's a good obsession and the only thing I'm reading all of this and I'm feeling very happy of myself I could really use this today I felt like I really bit it yesterday but I'm looking at these screen caps and I'm also thinking Kayla charge your phone man it's stressing me out and I know that's a cliche joke but it seriously stresses me out she's got all the little battery symbol is all the way down to the little yellow I can't do that if my battery is below 50 percent I'm in low key panic mode that does stress me out

that and I cracked screen those are two things that give me a bad feeling now I feel like this is the part of the show Andrew where I have to figure out a way to work Lloyd Benson into the program of course Lloyd Benson famously a senator from Texas who I believe was the vice presidential Nominee along with Michael Dukakis

Right I mean the name rings up I was thinking it was I'm dumb For some reason Lloyd Benson Sounds like an old Washington governor But okay Lloyd Benson Okay

I think Lloyd Benson Was the guy who When he was debating Dan Quayle Oh And he said I knew Jack Kennedy And you sir are no Jack Kennedy

Yes okay good Are you gonna throw that

But I have to bring Lloyd Benson up So that it's part of the show So then we can name this show Benson and Hedges And his name He has Benston It's not even spelled the same. Benston, I like that. It's like Benson. Benson and Hedges. But you know what, though?

I appreciate that.

Brand of smokes when we were kids?

Yes, because today is another baseball playoff day, so I'm going to try to kind of get out of here and maybe. Job done. Exactly. Benson and Hedges. Now we have a show title. A backup plan is I could use my updated photo of my Hedges now that they're trimmed as a picture. There you go. I'm halfway done with the show. Let's do a Blur's Day and get the F out of here.

Let me just tell you before we do that, because I mentioned this yesterday on the show, and then we're done. Then we're really done. But Addy sent me a link to Martha Stewart's Instagram page. Martha Stewart has recently become the cat parent to not one, but it would appear three bangle kittens. Oh, yeah. I saw that.

Yeah.

Wait. You're also following Martha Stewart?

no maybe i'm trying to think maybe somebody sent it to me because um because you have a bangle and maybe it was sent to our email or maybe it just for some reason got re-aggregated hey are you re-aggregating that wound um and i for some reason i saw but yeah she's got she's got these three i saw her big announcement video with these three bangle kitties like crawling all over her

yeah yeah like i have a feeling i mean because once martha stewart does something it's you know she's a tastemaker she's an influencer i think are we about to enter like you know are bangles going to be the new labradoodles are they going to be the the cat of choice for discerning people like benson and hedges are the cigarette of choice for discerning people i um why would i say this

i i think i've already

hinted at this on the show but of course i'm excited for our new kitten bingo to come home yes and everybody's you know like oh what a beautiful siamese like i mean i can't say i guess i can't say this when bingo's in the house because you'll hear me but like i'm not even the biggest fan of that look like you said that to me yeah like there's a photo of him hanging out with his brothers and sisters like all into like a a kitty puddle that is just goddamn horrible

that picture should be illegal or they should be using it instead of narcan to like bring people back from the edge because it's the cutest thing i've ever seen and the centerpiece it's like a busby berkeley yeah set piece and the the the the like sort of centerpiece of the whole thing the the woman diving into the bowl as everyone else fans out is your cat bingo and your response was that's not even really the kind of cat i like i like the other cats around them they're all these

little orange tabbies and it's funny because like it is a very distinct look you know and it's a sleek look and it's and he's a beautiful cat but the funny thing is is i just always am drawn more to just kind of like like you know garfield cats or whatever um and i don't even i don't even know

bingo likes lasagna do you think that siamese cats are conceited because they're so beautiful

is that why you don't vibe with them it's just an interesting it's just a very distinct look you know it's very distinct patterns that i guess i just didn't grow up with or something and again it sounds like i'm being a jerk i mean i'm sure people in our audience have um siamese cats that they that are absolutely beautiful and they love and it's just i guess what i'm saying here is i'm not trying to dunk on siamese cats what i what i guess i'm trying to say that is somewhat uncomfortable for me right now and i there's no upside in me talking about this i don't i don't know why i'm saying this to be honest with you but it's like when people say like oh like what

a beautiful cat like yeah he's all right he's okay so funny because i mean i think i just think he is objectively such a pretty cat i mean he's he's got that like little kind of black square on his face and the rest of his fur is just like snow white like he is a very aesthetically pretty

cat to me i i'm gonna i'm absolutely gonna love this cat but i do think that like i think people you know there are cats and then there are cats that look maybe like a bangle or maybe like a siamese that stand out a little bit more right and um and like that's not really for you well i mean i actually think i i love the look of bubbles i mean you got i mean that tail is a

little bit long boy that has that your cat has a long tail man and it looks like a raccoon tail too which i guess is typical i don't it's i'll have to ask martha we have started a list serve

for bengal owners i mean you want to talk about um evolution i don't do you want to talk about evolution i feel like you bring up evolution evolutionary imperative uh from time to time on the show and i sort of feel like that must have one right for such an athletic um type of probably

something for balance yeah yeah or something but you say you want an evolution is that a show

i've already got bent in the head just the show is as we talk the show is already posted somehow

luke so i can't i didn't realize too i mean we're not i uh i'm not going to descend into mariner talk but i somehow didn't actually know exactly when the game was today i thought it was a little bit later um after the show i thought we had a little more time but sounds like you're on a bit

of a time deadline it's actually first of all i was wrong it's actually 12 37 that the game is on and also like listen these are day games i have a job like i can't be like prioritizing the game above all else like i'm fine i'll i am hoping to meet up with some friends to watch it but i'm going to like probably listen to the first few innings uh in my headphones on the way to the train or something i'm not i'm not like kind of freaking out about it but um yeah oh you know what i i did want to say we got some really supportive emails from listeners including a good friend of ours hollywood mike who's a dodgers fan and i know i've dunked on the dodgers before in the past um and i'm not going to do that now because again uh whatever like i there's a lot of heartbreak in what what is the um casey at the bat um line uh there is there is no joy in mudville yeah casey has struck out yeah there is a lot of um there's a lack of joy in mudville this week for a lot of for a lot of folks um and so i'm not into making uh sports enemies however when i realized the reason all of these mariners games are jammed in the middle of weekdays and it's because the dodgers of course would get the prime time slots yeah i had a feeling i had some feelings some feelings that i didn't like that i had to push down and i had to think about how much i love hollywood mike and our other and uh our other la listeners because i was like of course we're

getting screwed by the but the dodgers are an east coast team andrew so they need to make sure right and they're playing another east coast team san diego right exactly so anyway and i say this is a person who attended many Dodgers games and

In fact, considered the Dodgers kind of my national – I still do kind of my National League team, even though I rail against the teams that just have more money than everybody else and nothing typifies that like the Dodgers. Like the Dodgers are the Yankees of the National League, and yet I love the Dodgers. I'm just pointing out my inconsistencies here. But, yeah, that's – I just would love, love a Mariners-Guardians ALCS just to absolutely put a giant thumb in the eye of Rob Manfred in Major League Baseball.

They'll just put the games on – for some reason, the ALCS will be on at, like, midnight mountain time.

Rob Manfred wakes up in a cold sweat imagining a Mariners-Guardians. like that is his idea of an absolute hellscape i mean and this is the thing about being a seattle sports fan we are never going to be the team that the major sport is hoping gets to the championship of whatever it is i've talked about this plenty of times on the show but i remember when the seattle supersonics were playing the phoenix suns and you could say phoenix would be another team that the nba wouldn't be salivating over but they had charles barkley and it was the seventh game i believe it was an elimination game for us but it was not over there was plenty of time left and they went to a break and they played the wrong promo it was a promo for the finals now they hadn't established that it was it did end up being the phoenix suns but it was michael and the bulls take on sir charles and the sons they literally played a promo for the finals that hadn't been established yet because how jacked up they were about michael and the bulls face sir charles and the sons that has always stuck with me as a grudge i will nurse for the rest of

my life um i have an important non-sports question for you as well but i just wanted to throw one thing at you quickly and this is it's more of a question than a comment but it's sort of a rebuttal as well when when the Mariners were really hot in 1995 and Ken Griffey Jr. was sort of the face of baseball could you still make the argument that the national kind of media and perspective overlooked Seattle like wasn't the main national like baseball video game named after him like was seattle was it different then well here's what i think i think that

i mean of course there are players who are phenomenons and ken griffey jr was a phenomenon but i still think that major league baseball always wants it to be the yankees against the dodgers that's their dream world series because it's the two biggest media markets just like the nfl would love it to be the dallas cowboys against the i don't know um new england patriots like uh or maybe the new york giants or something like i just i think my sense is i could be wrong about this but my sense is that the the major leagues always want to have their most storied teams with the biggest fan bases from the not even the largest city because you know everywhere you go I was when I was flying to Chicago, I saw so many people in Dallas Cowboys gear in O'Hare Airport because it was a Sunday and they were just like, you know, we're cowboys. I bet you those people, many of them don't live in Dallas. Like that's a team, you know, they call it America's team that just has fans all over the country who've never been to Dallas. So, again, this is a hunch by me. So I don't know. I don't know what the conversations were at the MLB offices that particular year of 95, because, I mean, that was a very fun, exciting team led by Ken Griffey Jr. And I believe Alex Rodriguez might have been on the team at that point, too. So maybe it was different back then, but I just always assume that they just want to have whoever the overdogs are, because that's going to drive the most television viewing.

Again, I want to move on to non-sports, but the one thing about the Dallas Cowboys that I never quite get because I'm relatively new to watching sports is since I've been watching football like with a purpose for the past, let's say, let's just say 15 years now round up. The Dallas Cowboys haven't really been good. I mean, they've made it to the playoffs, but like I don't think I've ever seen them make it to the Super Bowl like since I've been watching. It's so weird that they're because you think of like, OK, you got the Lakers, you got the Yankees, you got the Dodgers, you got all those kind of nationally branded teams. And somehow the Cowboys still get to be that team.

But are they well, they had some very I mean, with Troy Aikman, they won a lot of Super Bowls. Well, a lot, I think, back to back. So maybe two with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith. And that would have been kind of before you were really getting into football. But but but they were popular before that. And, you know, I don't think they were. I mean, yeah, it's I don't even think for them it's because they're dominant in the way that they're like New England Patriots were dominant or something. It's just kind of. Yeah. I can't really explain it other than I think maybe it was a deal where in the early days of football, my sense is that like Texas has always been football obsessed. And probably when the NFL wasn't quite as big of a deal, the people in Texas loved the Cowboys more than the people in other places loved their teams. And they just kind of and they must have had some, you know, some pretty good teams like back in the olden days when quarterbacks were fully bald and were usually just bleeding out of one side of their head. and smoking a dart and had to get to work like a YA tittle type situation

and had to pack a had to pack a lunch into a lunch pail for work the next day yeah seriously

like that's my vision of the and i don't even know if it was the nfl back then or the afl like it was before they like merged but like like i just have this image of this like an afl quarterback who looks like he's about 60 bald smoking a cigarette bleeding and like has to go to his

real job on monday much like a hedge talk i promised myself i wouldn't evolve too much into sports today so i would like to can i make a proposal here can we go to break do you know thank some donors but then can you carve out time i have an important question about something that you've raised on the show like four times and we keep not getting to it and i want to ask you that after we thank the donors can we do that yes we can do that and i'm going to send you this picture

of YA Tittle because I read pretty perfectly dragging it to the desktop

I didn't fully appreciate the YA Tittle reference alright

back in a moment here on TVTL

let us thank

our donors of the day it was very priestly

Luke the way you said that let us think priest let us think i was trying i wanted to do a liturgy there but i

realized i don't that's a real that's a cultural blind spot for me like i can't do like a catholic i know let us pray in those notes but that's kind of it for me i have not attended very much catholic mass in my life knock knock who's there let us let us who let us pray sort of

let us pray sort of probably let you know where that was going now you should maybe start the conversation about let us pray with the joke and not back into it you know the interrupting cow

one right yes that's a solid i mean that is a solid if you ever want to bond with some young people uh i would i would lead with the interrupting cow knock knock joke uh let us thank kevin connelly in cincinnati ohio now that's a good that's a good strong irish name i wonder of kevin connelly kevin connelly attended some parochial school in his day um thank you kevin for the support also listener and donor mariah spicer of chicago illinois i believe mariah left

us a voicemail just recently that we played what was in that voicemail don't ask me questions that

involve it was money it was i think she found money in the airport let's see was mariah the

one who found the money in the airport i if that was that story i do want to say one thing so that caller assuming that was mariah's story um talked about finding the money in some sort of like little hutch that she finds in in most um stalls i gotta note well i'll leave the person anonymous but a friend slash listener sent me a text message saying i think that's where you're supposed to put your used feminine products and so if that's the case um wash the money i guess I mean, I don't know if that's right or not. I mean, I would think that the caller would know more about that than me.

That would make sense because maybe flushing those down the toilet is a bad idea for the plumbing. But what this really raises, Andrew, is Mariah, because of the principle of fungibility, Mariah is basically supporting our show with found possibly drug money.

That's a more interesting place to take it. That is a really good point. Oh, my God, we're funded by a cartel. This is amazing. This is like a dream come true.

it's great as long as we stay on their good side yeah i'm sure what could go wrong thank you mariah we appreciate you we also appreciate chris walton in arlington massachusetts arlington massachusetts is that outside of boston i don't i that's another massachusetts is a really big cultural block along with along with liturgies is that what they call it by the way what does

liturgy actually mean i thought the liturgy was actually hold on i have to look it up i don't i don't know for some reason i thought the liturgy was something that was actually written um or is it the uh let's see here well it's a form or

formulary according to which public religious worship, especially Christian worship, is conducted. I think I can get away with it. I was trying to say the specific part where the priest is saying the, like—

Oh, no, you're not thinking sermon. You're thinking like this.

No, I'm thinking of all the kind of, like, you know, in Christ the body of the, you know, whatever. Yeah. Like, whatever that sing-songy part is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. During transubstantiation. They're not giving you a message, like, you know, Christ calls us to be this way. It's more just, like, real kind of rote. Yeah, yeah.

You know what I was reminiscing about the other day was I'd forgotten that. So I was an altar boy, of course, and, like, during various holidays, that job gets, you know, kind of more intense, like, leading up to.

Didn't you get in trouble for laughing? One time, yeah, one time. At the altar, on the altar?

One, because I was always, yeah, I was always a very well-behaved nerdy kid who didn't get in trouble, like, with the other kids because the other kids kind of wouldn't have me. But then there was one time when I was up on the altar, and, like, again, I think it was Marty D'Amico, which is interesting because he's also somebody who is featured in some of my other childhood stories. And two other kids were up there, and one of them started, like, doing something, like, messing around up there and giggling. And I spent the whole time trying not to giggle, but we're all giggling and having a good time thinking that we're doing it on the fly. And then the service ended. And, oh, my God, was I in so much trouble with my family. My dad, like, grounded me for I think I'm still grounded for goofing off. Is that why you had to go home a few months ago? Yeah. And being a distraction, like during the mass. I mean, that was that was not OK. That was not like I need to teach a lesson here. That was like that was disrespectful. Like, you do not do that on the altar during a mass. But what I was going to say was, you know, like during leading up to Easter, we would go and spend Fridays during Lent at church, you know, go to the mass on Friday evenings. And if I was the altar boy, which I usually was, if you've got to be in church, at least do something. Right. And so we would do like the stations of the cross where there would be like the priest who's holding a big cross and going to each station and an altar boy on either side. We wore the classic uniforms, by the way, like the black cassock with the white tunic on top of it.

And then I would love to see a picture of this. There must be one. Oh, yeah. Sure.

For various things. But anyway, sometimes I'd be the guy who would hold the incense. It was like the incense holder thing, which is like a little kind of pot thing. It's like a metal pot on a chain. And then I would raise it. And then like the priest would take a little spoon. I love little spoons. and like kind of, oh, I had a burning coal in there that I would have to start and then like spoon some of the incense onto it and then he would wave it and I would get to wave it. But what I'd forgotten about was sometimes I was the person who carried the holy water in a little bucket and he had like a, are we thinking the donors or what? He had like, I don't know what you would call it. I know where we're at. Like a little wand thing that had a ball on the end and the ball had some holes in it and he would dunk it in the bucket of holy water that I was carrying. and they would kind of retain some of the water and he'd just pull it out and just sort of like sling it over the congregation. You know what I mean? Like blessing everybody with holy water. I don't know if you did that in your church going days, but like when I was the, boy, when you're holding that bucket too, you get a lot of splashing on you for sure. You got to change that cassock.

First of all, that must've felt like a pretty big responsibility, no joke. I mean, you're holding fricking holy water.

Yeah, I don't know if the full,

I don't know if it was somewhat lost on me. Somehow I could quantum leap you into an average Sunday at Gospel Outreach Christian Fellowship in Briar, Washington.

I'd be washing feet, right? Did you guys do feet washing?

There was occasionally. I mean, it wasn't like a regular part of the proceedings, but it definitely happened. That would actually happen more like in a Bible study kind of a situation. That place was so off the rails, it's not even funny. I mean, I don't want to be glib about it, but there were many people who attended that church, or at least a number of memorable people who were dealing with pretty profound mental health issues, to where my dad would be preaching, and a guy would just lie down and form a cross on the carpet in front of the pulpit where my dad was preaching. And my dad would have to be like, Chris, not now. Oh, it wasn't invited, okay. No, it was the person was hearing voices. And we had a lady named Tammy McCusker who tried to kidnap my sisters because she was convinced that they were her children and my mom had stolen them from her. She called the police on my mom. My sisters were home alone. It was a very, very, very active situation with that church. The idea that there would be the formality where anyone would even remember where the holy water is or have that special tool is just so hilarious to me because of how completely

and totally disorganized the situation.

Are you sure you want me to leave that person's full name in there?

I mean, it's a Google. It's probably in the Seattle police report. Wow.

Oh, my God.

Oh, yeah. I mean, it was a really, like, we had this guy named Johnny Hurtado who was recently released from incarceration who turned out to have some bigger issues than this, but he had extremely pornographic tattoos on his arms that he had gotten in jail. Like, this was probably the most explicit porn I'd seen at this point in my life, and it was tattoos oh my god and he would be praising the lord and he'd be raising his arms and his shirt would slide down it was like a hustler magazine and you're a kid you're like hoping like oh please wear the loose finish i'm just like seriously i want to sit behind johnny and my dad had to talk with him johnny you got to wear a long sleeve shirt you got to keep them buttoned it was just constantly my dad would describe the church as like a hospital church where people would come because they were hurting and then as soon as they got better they were out of there like nobody's nobody who wasn't dealing with a lot of shit stayed in that church because as soon as their shit was semi-handled they were like i'm going somewhere normal wow it's almost

like the yeah our experiences with churches were almost polar opposite you know what i mean like my church was very i mean we got this this newish priest who came in um uh father dunphy and it was like kind of the mid 80s i think and people were like oh he's one of those he's one of those new priests like he was a young priest and he was a little bit more of a fire mass yeah but i mean but like the idea like his idea of the fact that he was kind of labeled that way in our very small country community of valley city ohio um is so funny like oh you got one of those those big city young priests coming in who's gonna uh really shake things up like i do remember like he he raised the specter at one point of possibly doing feet washing or there was some special mass for that and i just remember being like i remember that putting the fear in me man i was like i will not i will resign i will i mean were you worried you were gonna have to do the feet

washing either way either way i'm imagining that kid who's plugging his ears while happy birthday oh my god i'm imagining that kid sitting up at the altar having his feet washed in front of everyone just and literally the water just burning your feet the water just starting to

bubble because the devil is moving through you the idea of taking off my shoes in front of people public and like having that be the focus too it's not like hey we're all at a pool party and we happen to have our shoes off it's kind of like hey it's feet time let's get the spotlight over here let me know when you're gonna say it's feet time and i'll make sure to not be drinking my coffee

Anyway, thanks to Chris Walton in Arlington, Massachusetts Also thanks to Marion Benner In Maple Valley, Washington And then Kayla Farzali Is in Miami, Florida Beautiful Miami Hope you're doing alright down there I think Miami, if I remember right Luckily, mostly was missed by Ian

Yeah, I think There was some damage I know that from listening to the Levitard guys

talk about it but they seem so they did they i mean it was there was nowhere in florida that wasn't in the midst of a giant ass storm right right but the the the absolute worst of it seemed to be located a little bit away from miami but it sounds like uh again hope our friends down there in florida are are doing okay thank you kayla we appreciate you and then one of andrew's very favorite people to post game the mariners with that's right scotty houghton our boy scotty

washington scotty ran into him after the watch party at t-mobile got to uh hang out with him at a bar and he was playing papa shot with some friends looked like they were pretty good at it

i was i don't really play papa shot that's not my wheelhouse i was really into papa shot as a peter williams and i would go to lalani lane's bowling alley up in greenwood and which is now leilani lane's mini storage which is so much less fun for a physical location they kept the name leilani lane i think it might be called leilani it might be called leilani mini storage or something but i mean i just don't think you can have a bigger come down from tiki themed bowling alley with a an amazing bar called the lani kai room and i mean just right out of central casting andrew like these like kind of swiveled captain's chairs but they were on wheels they were low but That was all the chairs that you'd sit around with your friends around. Like, this was older, you know, when I was over 21. Just the absolute most fun place I could. I mean, and the thing was, I went there as a child. Peter and I would go play Papa Shot and Bowl. And then I went there as a man child in my 20s and did karaoke and consumed mass quantities of alcohol. So to go from that to a mini storage, it's just. A major, I don't know what you'd call it, decline for that place. But anyway, all of that is to say thank you to our donors for making TBTL possible. Peace be with you and also with your bank accounts.

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

All right, you had something about four hours ago. So before I start telling tales from Gospel Outreach, which is going to be the name of my third book, Andrew, Telling Tales from Gospel Outreach, you said there was something that you wanted to close the loop on that I've brought up but not actually explained or whatever.

Yes. It's work-related. A few weeks ago, I got a notification that I had to take a couple of trainings at work, the same, I should say, IT security training that we have to take every year, and it's an insult, and then the workplace harassment training or anti-harassment training or whatever. And both of them were due By the end of September At the very latest I believe IT was before that And it was after September It was after September 30th Like a week ago When you mentioned that you were still working On the workplace harassment one Like what's going on with that How did you slip through to begin with Why are you taking it now Are you in trouble with Beth

Yes, yes, no, maybe um what happened was uh they did track me down i did get an email from our boss beth saying you got to do this which is fair so i really uh thought that i had uh kind of um really life hacked it johnny uh because i figured i could do it on the airplane so i had the wi-fi now i've tried that before and like it just sometimes the wi-fi on a plane is not reliable enough or there's certain kind of not vpn issues but just usually it doesn't work but in this case it worked and i was just so happy because i was getting something i didn't want to do done while i was doing something else i didn't want to do which was flying but so i got through about i'd say 80 of it and you know it's auto saving the whole time and everything and i kept hitting save and so i was like well cool i've only got 20 of this left to do and so before the actual deadline Because the deadline, I believe, was like September 30th I got an email from Clear Law And it said, you need to finish Or it said, you need to take this course And I was like, but then when I would click on the link This is so overly specific I apologize, but you know what I'm talking about, Andrew You have like an account with them That shows you the trainings that you Have done, or that you need to do Or that you're midway through, right? And I kept going To the landing page for this and it would tell me I didn't have any trainings I needed to do. So I was confused, and so then I emailed our boss, and I said, I did like 80% of this, and I can't find it again. Do you know who I could talk to about? Because I'm sure all this stuff is tracked. I just want to get back to my 80% finished training module. And Beth emailed someone, and then I just got a random email from Clearlaw that said, your training is complete.

Oh, God, okay. Lifehacking buddy, all right.

to switch somewhere and basically just called it good i really wish i wouldn't have done the 80 percent like you get to use that once i wish i would if i knew that was a thing i would have done zero percent of it well the weird just lied the weird thing but now i've i've played that

card so there you go yesterday you told me that i fill out these genes nicely and so i'm wondering if that was the 20 part of the training that you missed that you're not supposed to say that to

I didn't get to the denim section Appropriate comments around Denim So that's the story there

And did you do the IT one or did you totally skate on that Can we talk about this publicly I think you totally skated Because I remember I saw

I did 90% of it and I can't find it now

I saw the master list Of people who were like Hey they send out those finger waggy emails Like if your name is on this list you haven't done it yet And I didn't see you on that I've achieved escape velocity from that particular one. That's so sweet. And you're still getting paid? A win is a win. You're still getting paychecks? Like, that's great.

Last I checked, although, I mean, we'll see. Tomorrow is payday. The Eagle shit's tomorrow. So if I don't get a paycheck, we'll know something is up. Okay, we need to be expeditious here because we've got the Blur's Days. But I have already pushed these top stories one day. So I'll just be fast about it. First thing, update on the fish cheating scandal. This, of course, was the guys in Ohio who were putting lead weights in some walleye fish and trying to win this competition. A month, I heard this from the New York Times.

I'm Christine Chung writing a month after a two person fishing team at an Ohio contest scandalized the competitive fishing world when they tried to cheat. A felony charges of cheating and attempted grand theft have been filed. A grand jury indicted both men on Wednesday.

I heard this on, believe it or not, a sports radio update yesterday. Like they're charging them with did you just say that they're charging them with grand cheating and attempted grand theft.

But it's actually more interesting and weird than that. I'll try to get to the exact. One of the charges is oddly specific. It's like illegal possession of an animal or something.

Oh, I didn't hear that one. I heard about Grand Theft. I was like, wow, Grand Theft. Yeah. Grand Theft Tuna. That sort of works. I don't know. In the moment, I thought it was better than it was. I repeated and yelled my joke, which was middling at best. A mistress for Christmas.

here we go um they uh the pair jacob runyon of ashtabula i can't hear the name ashtabula without thinking of the bob dylan song you're gonna make me lonesome when you go which just has a great ashtabula reference in it uh jacob runyon and chase kaminsky also face one count each of possessing criminal tools which is a felony and of unlawful ownership of wild animals which is a misdemeanor wow i mean i guess it makes sense though right they're throwing the

book at him i guess yeah i guess yeah i mean because a lot of people were writing in saying that a lot of these contests are catch and release which i know doesn't like you don't like the idea of catch and release either because it still seems like i like it more than catch and

don't release yeah yeah um but this one definitely was not in that they were holding the fish up you know as the trophy oh yeah and then of course they cut them like nobody was none of these regardless of if they were weighted down with lead none of these fish were going back in the lake after this but i what i find just kind of stunning about this and this is actually a highly visual reference is in this new york times piece they include a photo i believe of these two dudes winning a previous or a different contest and it's really something to because i would be shocked if

this was the first time they cheated no no like didn't um yeah because they had won like the previous two or three didn't you right but in the previous ones they weren't caught they weren't

caught yeah it's theoretically possible they are just really good anglers the previous two times and then this time they decided to cheat but it would seem logical or likely that that this is what they were doing this was their mo and i'm looking at a picture of these two dudes and it's just one guy is holding up like a wrestler's belt that's obviously like you did it you won and then the other guy is holding like an oversized check and it's funny because you see two personalities at play and the guy who's holding the wrestler's belt is also the guy who was standing around while they were weighing the fish that ended up being lead weighted down and the other guy who's holding the check in this photo he had pieced yeah he had bounced so hard uh on when they were cheating and it totally reflects that in this photo you got one guy that's like holding up a wrestling belt like yeah and then you got the other guy that's like i hope they don't catch us like he looks very he's got sunglasses he's got his hat pulled down low he's just has kind of a grimace on his face he looks like he is sweating bullets right now because

they cheated the other guy's like i'm the king of the world like he represents guilt in some sort

of off he looks so freaking guilty in this photo like i just want to get out of here with my oversized check take it to the oversized bank and cash it yeah exactly ask no follow-up questions

please i mean there's just so many lessons here that you just keep pushing it and pushing it like not only that they felt like oh well we got to make sure that we we weigh these things down like significantly so they're twice as heavy as the other fish like what are you doing like you got to say like if this doesn't work like go subtle and then if it doesn't work at least you didn't get caught because that's the worst now you're retroactively being accused of all this stuff And also, let's just make the assumption that they cheated in these other previous wins. Like then it's just like they get a taste of it or maybe maybe wrestling belt guy gets a taste of it and just keeps pushing it and pushing it. And this other guy, let's face it, he's the Luke. The other guy is the Andrew and the Andrew in this situation is smart in this situation.

The Andrew, I think probably you're right, was like, let's let's let's go medium on this. Go medium or go home. Like, let's not. And then the Luke version of it was like, no, no, no. Let's make each fish weigh 100 tons. And the other guy holding the check is like Dude what are you doing That's why Homeboy was Not standing around in the video When they were getting busted No one's seen that guy since Really

I know I've said it a million times But in that terrifying audio you played Of a bunch of angry fishermen Swear their heads off when they realize that these guys were cheating the one saying where's the other one that will haunt me the rest of my days yeah that is that's not the group of people that you want to tick off um so that's the update on that now this supreme court case is actually pretty interesting and i know we don't have endless amounts of time to discuss it but um it revolves around uh a photograph that was taken of prince kind of before prince was like the crazy famous person that he became um i don't know exactly when i'm trying to find the date on when the photo was taken um exactly but the sense i had in reading about this yesterday it was uh 1981 uh the photo was taken by lynn goldsmith um and uh so vanity fair uh basically commissioned or or paid a licensing fee to get this photo of prince that this person lynn goldsmith had taken and then when prince blew up and became super duper famous they commissioned vanity fair did andy warhol to create an image of prince for an article called purple fame so andy warhol takes this photograph that lynn goldsmith took and then he basically crops it so instead of it being kind of prince's upper body and head. It's now just Prince's head. And then he does kind of, he Warhol-itizes it, which everybody can picture. He just adds some colors and this and that. I'm not trying to be dismissive of Andy Warhol. We can picture it, though. But it's, I mean, it basically took the photo as inspiration, enlarged it, and kind of tweaked it a little bit. So then there was a whole series of these that were made. And anyway, all these years later, Lynn Goldsmith, she licensed it to Vanity Fair for one use and she's her point is and her lawyer's point is that this has now been used many more times and has generated a lot of money for a lot of people but not her and that this warhol piece is basically just ripping off her photo which is her photo with a little bit changed around it um so that's the case in front of the supreme court now what's interesting remember i mentioned yesterday how like they have audio of the supreme court now because during the pandemic they started streaming it and now they just are still doing that like so we don't get the nina totenberg i kind of miss it i kind of love nina totenberg quoting the justices but i guess that you know those days are over but this is nina's some of nina's piece from yesterday about the case i actually read you a tweet that was referencing this yesterday but now this is the actual audio it's clarence thomas asking a

question about prince and elena kagan jumping but a funny thing happened at the supreme court today the justices for the first time in a very long time seemed to relax and enjoy themselves and

each other oh by the way yeah that line stuck out like enjoy now here's the thing i have no beef with elena kagan uh katanji brown jackson uh sotomayor who am i forgetting um like well i'm so mad at the supreme court but i'm really only so mad at the majority of the supreme court so i want to be clear about that like when i think of the supreme court i become filled with rage but really it's not directed at the so-called liberals on the court of course it's the other folks but there's still something about like being like they were able to let their hair down and just have some fun it's like don't have fun yeah make some decisions that are not trying to control the

bodies of women in this country please anyway lawyer roman martinez representing the warhol Foundation, told the justices that everything about Warhol's Prince series was different from Goldsmith's photo. Most importantly, the Warhol silkscreens transformed the meaning and message of the Goldsmith work. While her photo was, by her own account, a portrait of vulnerability, Warhol's Prince was an iconic figure. Justice Thomas.

let's say that i'm both a prince fan which i was in the 80s and um no longer that's justice kagan

well

so thomas continues only on thursday night but uh let's say that i'm also a syracuse fan and i'd make one of those big blow posters of orange prints and change the colors a little bit around the edges and put go orange

underneath would you sue me look that's such a ridiculous comparison from clarence thomas by the way because in one case you have pieces of art that are worth millions and millions of dollars that's why this is in dispute the other thing is some student at a syracuse game making a sign of Of course that person's not going to get sued. It just seems so obvious that there is.

much greater financial stakes in one of these examples than the other like that's a i mean i already don't like clarence thomas but that's just like that just seems like an extremely bad

comparison yeah it really does like he's been doing this a long time is this what right he better

um okay so that was uh that was one thing that jumped out at me the other thing though that was kind of funny was uh i guess that the attorney who is um representing lynn goldsmith is a real character uh she just kind of takes no prisoners and takes no crap even from the justices um and

so anyway this was something that she said representing photographer goldsmith lawyer lisa blatt opened with a blast at the broad definition of a transformative work being put

forth by the warhol foundation if petitioner's test prevails copyrights will be at the mercy of copycats anyone could turn darth vader into a hero or spin off all in the family into the

jeffersons this is my question isn't darth vader in a way the hero a hero i mean he does he acts heroically at the end he throws the emperor down that big space hole even though he's getting

shocked but he's a but i mean he would be one of he would be one of like pop culture's greatest

villains though you don't think i mean i tend to focus i like to focus on the last three minutes of his life the redemption like i'm big on the darth vader redemption story like when listen when we really needed him to be a good dad i mean he did cut luke's hand off that was not cool no that's bad but he also also threw the emperor down that hole and it killed him and then he takes his helmet off by the way i look more and more like that actor every day i look more and

more like the guy underneath the helmet yeah the guy looks like a potato that's more i just gave up

the other day i wore a i told you i had to wear a tux for an event and i took the tux in to have it dry cleaned because i was sweating during the event and while i was there i was like you know what it's also an alteration place can you just take these out a little bit i'm like yeah that's smart yeah you know i'm just i'm just i'm just surrendering to the physical degradation of middle age i'm like normally i'd be like no i gotta just lose two inches it's like no you know what there's a way for these pants to be comfortable it's called a 20 alteration to them yeah um but uh i i it's an interesting argument from the attorney as well because it seems like what she's trying to say is that people can mess with the narrative like somebody could just make their own star wars using darth vader and make him the good guy again it doesn't seem to me the critical issue seems like it is somebody just ripped somebody else's work off and they've been making they made a bunch of money off of it and they have these extremely valuable things that are from someone else's work as opposed to like what does she say all in the family could be turned into the jeffersons or something spun off into the jeffersons like those strike me as kind of odd examples of just seems pretty to me fairly open and shut like this photograph was very minimally altered and now it's worth a bunch of money and the person who took the photograph

should probably get the money i'm a little confused about the all in the family jeffersons thing because there is a connection there right one is a spinoff of the other right right and i guess again i will almost replay this yeah if you don't mind sorry i kind of anyone could turn

darth vader into a hero or spin off all in the family into the jeffersons like i mean it sounds

like again because the creators of all in the family i don't understand i don't understand the argument there at all and i think i think i'm just being like you're taking someone's ip i think

what she's trying to say is like that would have been norman lear right so i guess the point is norman lear who created all in the family he would be the person or his you know team would be the people that would have the right to develop characters who were first introduced on the show all in the family into other shows if they wanted to like you couldn't just make a show featuring you know characters from all in the family and make another show with them but again And it seems to me to just be a weird way to get at this argument of like, look, this person took a photo. Then Andy Warhol just like basically cropped it, added some color to it, and then, you know, created something that has a lot of value on paper that is part of his estate now. And probably the person who took the photo should get some of that money.

I always thought not to, this doesn't get us any closer to the heart of this topic, I guess, but I always thought one of the most interesting copyright cases involving photography happened here in Seattle. Remember, here in Seattle, I think it's just on Capitol Hill, there are these public art, they're art pieces, I guess, that are built into the sidewalk where along Broadway, there are these dance steps. The dancing one, right?

By that Mexican restaurant.

There's a bunch of them kind of up along Broadway, I think, where it's like if you look down, you'll see that in the sidewalk are.

like bronze footsteps that show you how to do different dance moves and they've been there for a long time and do you remember this case i swear uh we were we were even talking about it way back when you and i both worked for cairo on the ross and burbank show um it was the type of lawsuit that kept rearing its head and it also involved getty images which is also um located here in Seattle and the artist who created that art in the sidewalk whenever that happened I'm guessing in the 90s was suing Getty and the photographer who took photos of that art and then was selling it as stock photography on Getty Images saying that's my art and Getty was saying well we're not selling your art we're selling a photograph of your art do you recall that I do it was such a weird story

I guess – I'm trying to think of, like, who I side with in that. I mean, I guess I side with the artist because that photo would have no interest. Like, you wouldn't just take a photo of the sidewalk. I mean, I'm sure there are – I would. You would very much so. But what is making that photo interesting is the art that is at the center of it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's like if you took a photo of the Mona Lisa and then you were selling your stock photo of the Mona Lisa, like that's an interesting photo to people and they might license it from you because it's the Mona Lisa. Right.

I am looking at the photographer. I'm sorry. The artist. No, it actually says the photographer files one billion dollar suit against Getty for licensing her public domain. Oh, I'm sorry. I believe I'm looking at a different lawsuit here. Sorry about that. one billion dollars though i mean guess getty's got deep pockets right i guess yeah if you're gonna

if you're gonna sue uh you know a family in america the getty's is that's a good place to start they got some pretty pretty deep pockets how about the monkey that took the selfie that was a

crazy oh that's right that was kind of part of the um kind of do what what was there's kind of a movement about an like animal rights right yeah it was pita basically said that the monkey that

took this photo should have the copyright because it was basically a wildlife camera this guy set up and the monkey went and activated it and took the photo um i think you know i am like honestly never thought i have to say this but like generally i feel like i'm sticking up for pita on this show in this case i think that's kind of dumb it like the photo would have never happened if this person didn't go out into the jungle and set this camera up i would i would say that they own the rights

to it not the monkey it's an amazing it's an amazing photo i just looked it up now i forgot really this was the story was around 2017 and it's well at least it was settled in 2017 so i mean i do remember that um case went further than we thought and it ended in a settlement right so it wasn't totally ridiculous they did find some sort of settlement and the photo of the was it a um oh it was a how do you say macaque no i'm saying macaque macaque what's funny is it wasn't just

one photo apparently was a series that on Wikipedia it says one of the monkey selfies at issue in the dispute. I'll use that as a show pick. Just kidding.

Get sued by everybody.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll You can't just listen to your soul Just remember that life is number one You can't be having so much fun

All right, Luke, let's ignore that first blurs day on the list that I just sent you because I think that person I think that birthday is a little bit further down the line. And that person is going to get back to me with some more details on that. So let's start with Paul. Could I have said that off air? Could I have said that during the break?

yes but i promise i just want to know i'm fascinated by the by the fact that this is a tbd situation is this person trying to find out if it's actually the other person's birthday

okay i'm just looking at this right now and i don't want any spoilers i don't want to ruin this for for the person usually when somebody sends me a blurs day i just put it in the list if it's for three weeks from now tough cookies it's an expression tough cookies um because it's kind of like i can't keep a calendar of these things however i got the impression that this person who was sending this in is not super familiar with tbtl was just is just like trying to do something nice for their partner and um maybe was a little confused about the process so i'm waiting for that person to get back with me um with maybe a more customized message um so having said all of that hey everybody welcome to the blurs day segment it's real smooth uh paula says, happy 20 27th blursday actually paula says birthday i'm translating it to blursday there happy 27th blursday to my favorite co-bro elizabeth you've had a busy and at times overwhelming year you need to know you are crushing adulting it isn't easy for anyone i'm proud of who you are and what you've accomplished as you continue your journey please remember no mountain too tall one million kisses on your nose. Peace and love from Mom. Cute. Very.

Kate in Minneapolis says, I'd like to wish myself a happy 29th Thursday. I love being a 10, and I'm still hopeful that I'll meet some other 10s in real life this year. I'm so grateful to both Luke and Andrew for the endless hashtag content and entertainment. Some days feel more endless than others, I think, for the listeners. Also, Kate, you're in a real hot zip. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Sometimes we'll get somebody checking in from, you know, American Samoa or something going, I hope I meet another 10. And I'm like, don't hold your breath on that. But Minneapolis, there's a lot of 10s out there. This dream could come true.

Yeah, exactly. Everybody who's in Minneapolis or even St. Paul listening right now, please stalk Kate, find Kate, and just hold up a boom box in her front yard. Wait, what? Kirby says, to my wonderful husband Jack on his 64th Blurs Day, Congratulations on starting another season with Pacific Northwest Ballet And congratulations on your recent retirement from the Chateau San Michel summer concert series We know Jack, of course Yeah, we do

Jack made those amazing sort of Well, he's made a bunch of amazing things related to the show But like He's made cornhole

He's made TBTL cornhole Like throw your phone games He's made big wooden cutouts of you and me, I believe Yeah, the Johnny and Bobos Yep, exactly

Yeah, I saw a photo from some picnic where those were – I had forgotten about those. I was like, those are incredible. Jack is extremely talented.

Kirby says, I look forward to the next week with you in New York City, seeing the best of Broadway. Your loving wife, Kirby.

Aw, sweet.

Going to the big city. New York City. Yeah, you got to wear a money belt in New York City. Stay safe.

I was looking. I got to get that drop again. And I can't find the, you really are the most devious bastard in New York City.

How did that go missing on you already? That's a new drop.

I don't know. I'm having bad, I mean, even worse than normal file management these days, Andrew. Sally in North Bend says, happiest of Blur's days. To my oldest five, Sinclair turns 23 in a few days. Fierce, independent, and smart as a whip. She is in the second year of her Ph.D. program in Applied Chemistry at Colorado School of Mines. She makes me—that's, by the way, Mines, not Mimes. That's a whole different program. She makes me beam with pride. Go out there and change the world, Sinclair. Love, Mom. I am trying to do the math on being 23 but in the second year of a Ph.D. program.

Yeah, wow, that's fast. Wow.

That is very, very, very good progress on your education, Sinclair.

And now, of course, I'm just picturing like mimes with a bunch of like invisible beakers, like poor mimes in like one of those coal, like, you know, one of those buckets that goes down into the mine.

Now, you know who went to the Colorado School of Mines, though, is the writer George Saunders. No, I didn't know that. Which I think is an interesting detail. I've never heard of that guy. I love I'm a big, big George Saunders head. and I think the fact that he actually had a real job and worked in the mining industry and in geology before he was ever a writer I think that adds to his allure for me Wear a helmet

Sinclair. Definitely Dolphinately. Michelle says thank you for wishing my beautiful brilliant hilarious daughter Alice a happy 15th birthday She's been a 5 for a decade and just became a 10 in the past few months. Hell yeah I wore her down. It only took a decade I love her so much and couldn't be prouder of her. I also thoroughly enjoy sharing my love of TBTL with her and listening to her try to explain to her friends what she is listening to and why. Why is really the big question there.

Happy Blur's Day. Thank you, Alice.

But I would say this should just be a secret between us and your mom. I don't know. I don't want you to get cyberbullied to within an inch of your life.

I wonder why we don't have more listeners. where he's like, don't try to explain this show to anybody. Our promotional strategy is keep it to yourself.

Happy Blurs. Marissa says, happy 10th birthday, Christian. We love you so much and are proud of the little gentleman you were growing up to be. Love, Uncle Tony and Tia.

That's right. And of course, this Christian is the son of listener Kayla.

Oh, this is Christian who did the charades.

Yes, that's right. And Kayla wrote to me earlier. today to say that she loves hedge talk and also to say happy birthday to my five and my best friend the best charades cat and great oh there you go yeah he was i didn't even know that was in the script that was just right off of my dome i think he was charading this of course was during the tv telethon where we were doing charades via zoom and i think he was charading a a cat as an angel

that poops in a box maybe that's what it was but it was amazing because i believe the person guessing totally got it yes because of christian's full commitment exactly a cat the kinetic

commitment yes um let's see i feel so lucky to have uh watched you grow into a super smart way too tall sassy as hell basketball player love you 3000 from mommy what a great happy blurs a christian and to everybody and now we have some business to attend to when i say yes It's called Eight Scoreless from Castillo. Exactly. And I think we only need, like, what, probably 500 runs to beat the Asteroids. That's right.

Eight scoreless and 500 runs, and then we may be able to ride out the bottom of the night.

Yeah, right, and we might be able to win an extra.

All right. Did you see that drawing of Tropicana, well, not Tropicana Field, but Minute Maid Park? I think it was a joke, but, you know, because they have that bizarre scoreboard in left field that dramatically cuts down the distance in left.

Oh, yeah, those Crawford boxes, too. Is that what you're talking about? The Crawford boxes or whatever?

Yeah. And, like, anyway, somebody had, like, done a drawing of it, and they're like, this is wow. I think they exaggerated, but it was, like, basically looked like left field was, like, just past the infield line. Uh-huh, right, yeah. So hopefully we'll keep them out of that area today. Okay. That was sports talk, but it was buried at the end of the show. Yeah, come on. You're welcome. Give me a break. All right, we will see everybody tomorrow with more imaginary radio. Just shadowboxing with a bunch of people right now for no reason. We'll see you tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. Until then, go Mariners. Leave Robbie Ray's name out of my team. What? And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Jay, let's get it. Yeah, he's dying. Let's get it. Oh, man, Jay, that is a fucking, that's a tuna, bro. No, that was a tuna. Jay, that's a tuner or something. Jay, look at it. Come on. It looks like a flounder with the fins. Oh, man. Jay, let's pull it in, Jude. Look at that fucking thing. Power out.