Muse

A group of acquaintances of mine invited me to go clubbing with them this weekend and I said no I don't particularly like clubbing I instead like to spend my weekends inside playing video games and one of them said oh you're not like other girls like yeah I'm not like other girls I got low blood pressure and low blood sugar all right I got hit with two god chuckles right there if I go clubbing I don't come back it's much like Jaws

T-B-T-L Guess what day it is Guess what day it is

It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend

Well I've read everything on your syllabus And how do I put this delicately It's all stupid garbage

First of all, a podcast takes a lot of work Okay? today you have to organize the guests you have to do a google calendar and then you build a following it takes a long time and i've been working on it for a while if i told you once i've told you a thousand times i love you with him out of the way i think we're just going to be

360 spins and slam dunk pointers all right hello good morning and welcome everyone

to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

I was just calling about the too beautiful to be heard. I can't believe you're still on the air.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where yesterday it was beautiful, and today it is soggy. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. We did have a beautiful day yesterday, though, So that was real nice. We are going to do another beautiful show because this is another episode where there is a small chance that our colleagues at American Public Media will be listening for a little, I guess what they say, what they call proof of concept. We had a meeting yesterday where we told them how great TBTL is and how engaged with the listeners we are. So we are really, yesterday we were showing off and today we are really trying to bring it. And we'll tell you how that goes. Come on, bring. Think of things. Come on, brain. He's so smart. I mean, I guess you can also be the judge at the end of the show as to if it was, in fact, brought in here on episode 3,803 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

We have an update that we didn't get to yesterday regarding people throwing food on art. Can you verify? Can you give me some 411? Also, they got me. they made me do the american public media cyber security training it's your lucky day you just found a usb flash drive in the parking lot and it has me it had me real bummed out last night not as much as the news that elon musk is carrying a sink a literal sink around twitter and ruining my favorite place to get my serotonin update that's the saddest thing i've ever heard I'm really toyed with the idea last night of deleting my Twitter account. And we'll see how this weekend goes. It's a very possible thing for me. Also, it's a Friday, a.k.a. Fri-yay, so we'll do some music for your weekend.

I'm singing! I'm in a store, and I'm singing!

And we'll do all that with the help of this young man, the longest-running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is also a music fan, particularly the work of... Yes, could you? He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I have so many things I want to talk to you about today. Good, because I have nothing to talk about. Okay, good. Remember, Luke, professionalism today. We're going to brung it. I'm going to start with this. Do you remember if I've mentioned on the show recently that I've had some issues with my phone taking on a life of its own in my pocket? I think I mentioned to you the other day that I had to send out an apology tweet or something saying I think I might have just created something called a Twitter circle and accidentally invited a bunch of people. Or maybe it was an Instagram ring. I don't know. I think you might have been telling somebody else that. Yeah, I don't know. You know, I don't know how your phone works. I have a little button on my phone. I press it. It reads my fingerprint. It unlocks. When I'm done looking at my phone, I hit that button again. It goes to a black lock screen. I put it in my pocket. Everything should be good. but something has been happening where my phone's been unlocking in my pocket the other day when i sent out the tweet i don't know if i actually actually invited anybody to whatever social hellscape i accidentally created some sort of you know what i mean like they all have these like i don't know what i made i made something and it's like welcome to twitter whatever's and you know and like completely accidentally in my

I open it up, and I'm seeing the kind of results. I don't think I actually.

Facebook is a hell we create, Andrew. I think it was Kierkegaard who said that.

Right. So anyway, that was fine. I don't think there was any damage there. Today, I wake up. I'm using my phone in bed. I woke up kind of early today, and I was telling you this before the show that I was kind of. I had an idea for the newsletter, so I started kind of writing some ideas in my Gmail on my phone while I laid in bed so I could email myself and just kind of remember it for later. And then I put, you know, I get up out of bed. I throw my phone in my pocket. I pause there because it occurred to me I might have to explain why I have pockets in the pants I was sleeping in. Just, like, don't worry about my pockets. Wait, are these the Tonight Pants of War? I was wearing some Tonight Pants. They were just some khakis. Are they cargo? They were khakis. You know, they were dress pants at one point. And now they're soft. Everybody be quiet. Anyway.

But they don't have cargo pockets. No, just like a pocket.

pocket the normal yeah just like kind of my side pocket my front pocket or whatever i throw my phone in there i mean i assumed i locked it i don't i don't know what's going on it's morning i'm bleary eyed it's like seven in the morning or whatever i go downstairs to uh take a shower i put the phone on the on the sink and i see that i've just received three emails from lyft two of which are telling me that my order is complete i'm like what the heck oh no your fun hey congratulations order details your funds have been added to your lift cash balance and can be used right away 25 order date october 28th i'm like what half my pocket wrought then i get another email oh you put another 25 on your lift cash account and then i got a third email that says this smells nigerian auto refill settings have updated you are now um set up to auto refill um if your if your account ever falls below 15 it's not nigerian i also took a screen my phone also took a screen cap of the lift app at one point somehow i put my phone in my pocket the lift app opened there

was something let me ask you a real question did you take a lift last night did i take a lift last

i did not no i did not i just my the app accidentally opened in my pocket and as i shuffled about um it must it went to the screen and i i've gone in i've turned off the auto payment thing now but there's something i don't know i've been thinking about what the advantage of it is you know the way my the way i have my lift app set up is i just have it connected to one of my credit cards or debit cards or something and when i take a lift the money comes i have mine

I've been connected to your APM travel credit card.

Oh, that would explain some things I've been seeing in Concur. But I guess for – and I'm trying to figure out why you would want to do this, but maybe if you – maybe if a card that's expiring or for whatever reason, you can just, like, load some money onto Lyft. So, listen, I'm going to use – That's weird.

I didn't even know that was an option.

Yeah, and I still can't quite figure out why you would do this. But either way, I got $50 now out of my account that is now on my Lyft app that I'm sure will be used first. The next time I do take a Lyft somewhere, I plan on taking $50 worth of Lyfts before I die. If I don't make it to that, I have bigger issues than the money I sent to Lyft. So I guess it's not that big of a deal, but it really is like, well, think I mean, first of all, it's annoying. That's $50 out of my bank account for a Lyft I haven't taken. and secondly it's also like my god man like i have personal information on that phone like i need to be careful not to like tweet out my social security number or whatever else the things you could have

done that was not the worst yeah but it's also annoying to to like now i mean you yes in your life you will take 50 worth of lifts but there's some in the words of mitch can i play you the

mitch headberg take on this whole situation sometimes people give me gift certificates man I think a gift certificate is a bad gift. What's a gift certificate? You take money that was good everywhere. Yeah, right. You don't even have to finish it. Oh, they know what's coming. Yes, did they? I laughed, too. You took a little long on that clap now. I had some extra lines there, but I can't do them.

Wow. Thanks, YouTube. Let me just complete Mitch Hedberg's thought. Now you can only spend it in one place

Yes, I guess

Who thinks to upload A clip of Mitch Hedberg Doing that iconic bit And then not include the payoff

Well was he making a joke At the end there like this joke is so iconic They all just laugh without having to hear the payoff I don't even know if I knew that joke And I knew, it's kind of funny That you don't need to hear the punchline The way he sets it up so perfectly I think I'm carrying around a certain amount of TikTok related agita up.

Because I've watched many a video where it's like a thing is about to happen in the world. You know, someone's videotaping. A farmer is trying to demo a silo on their farm. And you can see that the silo is leaning and you kind of know what's going to happen. And it's just like the earth mover they're in is going back and forth and doing the thing. And then it gets to the end of the video and it actually doesn't even give you the payoff. i don't know if i'm just being trolled by sort of tiktok uh you know content creators at large but it's very frustrating to me when you don't get the payoff do you know okay actually this

reminds me of another thing i want to tell you about um first of all there is a reddit there's a subreddit i should say that is dedicated to gifs that end too soon it is the most frustrating thing in the world i don't know why it exists but for some reason i gifs that end too soon GIFs, so it's like, you know, like, whatever, like, animated GIFs of, like, somebody who is doing exactly that, like, balancing too many wine glasses on a table or something or on a tray, and then you know where it's going, but then right as things start crashing down, the GIF just ends, and you're just like, oh, my God, why do I sign up for this? It's just it's it's pleasure and pain, Luke, pleasure and pain. But you know what I also stumbled on yesterday was there is a subreddit dedicated to I'm trying to think if I can actually get the actual name of it right. It's like. Refer to females and men in the same sentence, it is so specific. I ended up on it because I'm scrolling through Reddit, this subreddit. No, I swear on my life. Because, I mean, I've talked about that vehemently on the show.

It's called former Cleveland Browns fans who also would like some consistency in how we gender, folks.

I swear to God, I didn't because I've gone on a couple of rants about that. In fact, it was literally that a few months ago I had seen some news report, a sports report, that in the same report they referred to men as men and women as females, and it just really irks me. And I know it irks some other people, too. I didn't realize that there is literally a subreddit dedicated to that because it's like it's not just calling out people for saying females instead of women. It's referring to men and females in the same sentence. And I landed on it because I was scrolling through something. I must be on some subreddit for like old time photographs or maybe it's just photography or something. And somebody uploaded a photo of four female pilots from World War Two. I believe they were Soviet pilots. but the caption just said something like four females from the war or something and people were just like and so i was like four females it really just makes it sound like you're talking about animals sort of and so i'm like it just kind of that title just gave me a um a bad feeling and also i mean somebody pointed out it could have been a poster like somebody posting who doesn't speak english as a first language but either way people underneath were like that's a terrible way to refer to women and that's gross and somebody posted a link to a subreddit very specifically taking on people who refer to men as men and women as females but anyway that wasn't even one of the things i want to tell you about today but there you go all right what are the other things you want to tell me about today um so i told you about the the lift thing i do want to warn listeners especially those who you know text me sometimes you know if you get weird messages from me that's my pocket talking man not me maybe i need this maybe i need to i was As we were talking about our relationship with listeners on the show with our colleagues in that meeting yesterday, I saw our boss taking notes. And I was kind of like, oh, yeah, I guess I did just admit that I just use my personal phone to text listeners or communicate with listeners all the time. That's probably not APM best practices. I don't know.

Honestly, it means you can probably expense your cell phone.

I bet you not. I'll bet you there's a policy at 8 p.m. that if I wanted to do that, they would get me some shitty. I love that you assume it would be shitty. I know. I didn't realize. It'd be a cricket.

It'd have like three buttons on it. One would be for 911 if you've fallen.

One would be for calling the ICC for when the podcast doesn't post.

One is the ICC. One is if you've fallen. And one just calls Francis Lamb for some reason.

Yes, and, of course, you can't get into the phone without having four-step authentication. Oh, my gosh.

Do not even. Would you like, Andrew, would you like to go around on our cybersecurity practices, best practices at old American public media?

You mentioned this. So a couple of, maybe it was about a month ago, I was talking on the show about how I had to do this year's IT training, which is the same as last year's IT training. That takes a long time. But I saw that like of all of the notes of the delinquent parties, you weren't listed on any of them. And we thought that maybe you were just somehow they like the company had just given.

up on you like Luke doesn't have to take training I was extremely sort of chuffed at the idea that I had achieved escape velocity from from the gravitational pull of bullshit training that we have to do but I in fact did not what happened how did you how did they snare you I thought you were well free I'll tell you what happened I went to a meeting yesterday Andrew I got on the radar you showed your goddamn face your head popped up like a hedgehog they were just sending checks to what they assumed was a deceased person for years oh then i made the stupid mistake yesterday of confirming that i am in fact alive by talking to our colleagues about listener engagement and then i got a very nice message from our supervisor beth saying great job to you and andrew um for uh you know with the the audience engagement conversation by the way i don't mean to be annoying but beth is the and then she forwarded me this like epic chain from somebody named rajesh who we work with or who works at the same company who is apparently has the i mean honestly the very unfun job of having to like chase everyone down over their various cyber stuff and it was like it went back possibly years andrew and i was watching this person rajesh again peace and love to rajesh but he was you could see him trying to start off with like hey supervisors these are the folks who haven't done their cyber training and then it was like hey there uh these folks still haven't done it and then don't make me get ugly on them smiley face emoji and then it was like getting more serious with each email of like hey uh if you need to actually go to this person's house and kill them you are now cleared to do that and that was the apparently that was the level that i had arrived at as of yesterday which was i'm going to turn all of these people's accounts off which you know to me feels like a win yeah except that also would be your paycheck account probably exactly and they know they know they know how to get me which is stop paying me to do this job and they get my attention real fast so last night while watching the uh the the sort of denouement of tom brady's relevance on planet earth i love how his only relevance as i can see it as a football quarterback and husband of gisele bunch both of which came to an end last night yeah while doing that while watching that i also then had my laptop whirring away as i did the cyber security training which as you mentioned has not changed a lick since the last time we did it start with

the quiz that's put it on my i did i pulled a full andrew no no i mean they should say they should not make us sit through the training they should give us the test first and if we fail the test then you go through the training that's what it should be and that's the only thing that would

make sense but when i say i pulled an andrew by like you know module four i started to just see oh can i actually just look at the potential answers so i eventually didn't even look at the

question nope you don't have to it's pretty right yeah it's just a waste but i didn't even i didn't

even scan the question i literally just looked at the answers yeah because the answers are like

plug it in anyway or call your boss on vacation and tell him everything you've done wrong crane

kick your colleague and tell him you're being a little bitch or let it know there might be an

issue because cyber security affects us all anyway we've gone on this rant too many times actually let's let's let's come back around um to a question i wanted to ask you which is you know i didn't see any twitter news on your show sheet but i mean as soon as i saw the news yesterday which i gotta be honest with you i didn't think it was actually gonna happen i i think all of this elon musk taking over twitter he was trolling us it got to a point where it seemed like he just wanted headlines and it wasn't going to happen. And then suddenly I'm, you know, I'm walking home from the Arco yesterday with my red pop and just said, and, uh, and I get a text message on my phone or an alert on my phone that says Elon Musk has taken over Twitter and has released four top executives from their duties. And I'm like, Oh wow. And I, I don't, I didn't know really how to feel about that. I don't, you know, I use the app kind of daily, but I'm not super sad if it goes away as um somebody put on twitter it's kind of like the last days of dead spin like we knew what we sort of knew it was coming didn't know if it was really gonna come and don't really know what's gonna happen next or like where we're gonna go like what is your take on all of this well i've

been through a whole journey with it which is you know when there was talk that he might buy it i was like gross and then like you i was thinking that he had gotten what he wanted which was just attention he wasn't going to buy it i saw a stat somewhere that if you had if

you bought twitter right after elon musk said he was going to buy it which was actually weirdly the stock went way down of course he had to buy it at a certain price per share you would make like something like 450 because of what what he's on the hook to actually pay for each share of twitter or something but yeah like you i assumed at some point it was kind of just him just trying to get attention and then i saw this video of him walking around in the twitter like lobby literally the lobby carrying a sink why i think it is a joke about letting it quote unquote sink in that he now owns twitter what a fucking troll he's just a troll i mean and i'm friends with a guy named Mohanad Elsheki who's a really funny comedian and Mohanad wrote on Twitter for all the money this guy has he'll never have the one thing he'll never be the one thing he wants to be which is funny which is true like what a like I thought he was saying like I bought it I bought everything and the kitchen that's what that's what I thought you're gonna say something like that yeah that would be not a great joke but that would be a joke that made more sense than let it sink in I'm carrying a sink around the twitter lobby and it's also it's like sort of like um is that a

self-own like now you're carrying around a really heavy everything right i also saw ironically on

twitter some i think a journalist actually saying i need to get in touch and this i don't think this was played for a joke i need to get in touch with the twitter employee had to who had to go find elon musk a sink yeah exactly which is like i want the oral history of that you know one sidebar

here though is sink stocks are up so that's good people are just buying sinks like crazy

so yeah so like i i saw somebody put on it was a kind of a wake for twitter last night like i saw somebody wrote it's about to be zero hour for this app so let's all just start like posting our favorite tweets of all time like not even from ourselves which is tweets that have happened and they put like a funny tweet up and I really felt like are we doing this? Are we self-deplatforming from this? And this is where I ended up with it which is I will tell you this 100% me not being emotionally ready to let go of the one place where I can get some amount of my serotonin hit through a minimal amount of kind of like influencing if he lets Trump back on I think I'm out I mean I don't think I'm out I'm out Like, Trump getting back on Twitter is like the Browns signing Deshaun Watson for me. So that's where I'm at with it right now is it's gross to me that Elon Musk owns Twitter. He sucks. And I'm just like, I don't – or I guess the other thing would be if everyone I like leaves or if a significant portion of the people that I like on Twitter, i.e. the normal people, leave, then I'll also leave. i i literally wanted to be like where are we i wanted to put a tweet out that was kind of like okay where are we meeting up at it's like you're at a party that sucks yeah and you're just kind

of like okay where are we going after this or what where's when you when your crew in high school moves uh tables in the lunchroom like where's the new table right right exactly where where we

where where are we all meeting up after this i would like to know that i mean the problem for me with instagram is it just i love instagram i love lurking on instagram and looking at other people's you know um posts and photos and videos and i love looking at photos that you've taken and stuff like that it's just never clicked for me as a way for me to express myself and so i don't know what the next place is for that for me but i feel like my time with twitter what's that wiki feet maybe that's the next place for you sub the wiki feet subreddit i'm just throwing ideas out there you know what it's so funny because i was about to speaking of twitter i was going to send some tweet out like roasting ringo star the other day because ringo star has been for some reason posting a lot of pictures on twitter that happened to involve his feet because he's wearing basically like slides and like there was i think two or three tweets recently from ringo star that were not related to his feet they were about something else but it just so happened that in the photo that he included he was wearing like slides and he's like standing over the thing he's taking a picture of and then his feet are in and i was like dude stop trying to make us look at your feet ringo and then i realized the banner on my twitter account is my yeah right and underwear i

believe right didn't you say uh no running shorts okay whatever um i do sit down to pee that's fine don't judge me um yeah you know remember and i always refer to this i think i always mangle it But it seems like for a while, they're like a bunch of. conservatives or like conservative celebrities were like there was a boilerplate tweet they were tweeting out that says you know we believe in free speech we're leaving twitter meet me at parlor like i think you should just tweet that out but then change parlor to wiki feet and just see what

happens well i don't that's a that's actually a really good tweet you should do it no i actually

my last take your my last tweet was a foot related tweet i don't want to i don't want to double up

So are you officially on the record as gifting me that? Because that's a very funny. Oh, yeah, sure.

That's actually a very funny tweet. I mean, yeah, I'm not doing anything with it. Do what you will. But, yeah, you know, Luke, to go back to your broader point, it's interesting, like, and, again, I know that your relationship with the app Twitter is different than mine. Like, I'll tweet occasionally. I will open it, you know, at lunchtime. I like to scroll through, but I'm not constantly on it. Like, I don't know what, I mean, the experience, I guess, has to change, you know? It's still a way. I still follow the major news sources on there, the major news sources to my life on there, and then various people. I've been able to curate a Twitter feed that doesn't have a lot of toxicity on there, even from people whose values I agree with. You just don't need a million people screaming at the top of their voices on Twitter all saying the same thing. After a while, that got to me, so I kind of eliminated that. I've talked about this before I'm trying to figure out like if it becomes a very different place when I log on and it feels different I would leave or if it like if a bunch of people aren't on there we we would leave I don't know if I would leave in protest if I start seeing a lot of Donald Trumpy stuff because algorithm you know if they start messing around with algorithms and I'm seeing stuff that I didn't sign up for and I can't control my content as much then I would get off of there but I guess I I guess I just got to kind of wait and see what the experience becomes I mean

that's the that's the rational approach i just to me it's like if he lets trump back on and and trump is once again allowed to constantly drive conversations because of some unhinged tweet that he put out which it has been a real like him not being president anymore and also him not having access to that sort of the twitter megaphone has been very helpful to me in terms of my um you know my sense of well-being um and so if he can if if elon musk bought this whole thing so that he can he can be on there and do whatever he wants and also he can let like trump back on i think i will i'll probably i think i'll leave i don't know maybe you know talk to me in two months when this happens or in a week when this happens but i noticed our friend chris hayes televisions chris Hayes was kind of putting out I think a preemptive tweet on the matter yesterday saying look this place is about to change but here's the things that I have done that have made my experience much better which is basically aggressively blocking and muting people and also only allowing responses from the people that you follow like I think what Chris was saying was this can still be a useful place if you if you really keep a close hand on who can get at you

on it yeah and the other thing that i'm thinking about too is like you know who do we support as far as all these billionaires are concerned and it's like i don't like you know like i don't like zuckerberg either in fact i would say that zuckerberg's products across his whole portfolio right all the Facebook and stuff has actually done more ill for the world than Elon Musk who is outwardly a troll like you know like Zuckerberg keeps his head pretty low until he has to testify in front of Congress or whatever but like he's not out there like trying to his head down and

his bangs looking like Mark Davis the owner of the Raiders you want to hear the most annoying

sound in the world um i it's like it's it's like ma king um but yeah so so like elon musk like he you know he invented tesla right like the only electric cars you can get out there are tesla like i'm not going to be in that tax bracket anytime soon or income bracket to afford that but like you know generally speaking that's kind of a good thing the reason we hate him so acutely is because he is he he you know goes in for this troll behavior but he sinks around exactly and he wants to be cool he's just and he's awful and he's like oh but and he's kind of trumpy in that look at me kind of way which is disgusting but if you really want to talk about like putting my money where my mouth is like i should really like uh sorry now i'm just stuttering all over the place but like um amazon i should ditch amazon first like i'm actually giving them money i'm not giving twitter any money you know what i mean and like it's it's i don't know you're giving your attention

yeah i give it my attention and there is a form of money because

Because it is, although Twitter seems to be, I mean, Twitter also seems to be a very bad business model as of now.

Well, has it ever been a great business model? I mean, has it ever been?

I just mean, like, unless Elon Musk comes up with something. It seems to me like, I mean, I guess SpaceX, I'm assuming SpaceX is on the road to profitability. And, you know, I guess Tesla is profitable. But I was going to say, like, what was the other thing that Elon tried to do? Like the Hyperloop or something? Like some high-speed train? has not really materialized he has like one tunnel like in vegas or some shit the boring tunnel i was just gonna say like i wonder if he can actually make it profitable i mean apparently he's like fire already fired a bunch of people which you know what it also feels to me like it feels like ramsey bolden is now in charge of winterfell and i'm not loving that or as uh This guy that I retweeted, somebody who goes under the name on Twitter, South Centraleno, he wrote, I blocked, let me try to find the actually, he said, the guy that I blocked, he didn't use the word the guy, but he used the N-word, which I'm going to go ahead and spare the listeners me saying that. The N-word I blocked just bought Twitter. Now I know how Bodhi felt when he had to start selling Marlo's product.

Wait, how Bodhi? I don't think I can.

the wire oh god damn like you block elon musk and then he fucking buys twitter like that's and

that i think is like a very apt comparison oh man that makes me want to watch the wire again it has

been a while still need to eat some pizza i still have not had a proper pizza pie after all this

whole week we've been talking about that pizza yeah spiro's people have been sending me uh photos Oh, yeah, we don't have emails today.

Should we take a break, and then do you want to sort of close the loop on that? I don't know if I have closure yet.

I don't know if I have closure. We'll just keep that story going, but we have other things to talk about, too.

Okay, let's do that then. Let's take a break. Let's not get closure on Spiros. Not today. Our colleague Annie is hilarious, Andrew. You and I were talking about this yesterday, that she had weighed in on the Spiros situation because Annie is a regular listener and also a very funny person and a Seattle denizen. And what did she say? I've been to both Spiros and the fundamental difference is one has calzones and one doesn't.

Yes. She's a fond of local information.

I love that we happen to work with a person who can actually break down the difference in the Spiros of the Northwest.

I know.

So if I order a calzone right now, do you think it'll be here by the end of the show?

Well, the bigger question is if you order a calzone right now, will they put like weird cheeses in there? I have to be really careful with calzones, man, because I like a calzone that is basically pizza materials, right? Like just regular mozzarella cheese.

Is there a trend of putting non-mozzarella in there?

Well, especially if you're ordering a calzone from one of those kind of Greek pizza places, and those are the types of places that usually would have a calzone. They will put, is it ricotta? Some sort of like more of a crumbly. Oh, ricotta.

I'm really leaning on my Sopranos pronunciation today.

Wait, where's the freaking? Ricotta. I think it's ricotta that I'm thinking of. It might be something else. But they'll put like some secondary cheese that I do not like the texture or taste of.

So you have like, you've made peace with mozzarella in pizza and calzones. But any other cheese, that's still a bridge too far for you.

yeah because i you know i eat of course i eat um pizza of course i eat pizza and that has mozzarella so i'll do that but yeah you start putting you cut into a calzone you're super hungry you're waiting for your calzone and it comes out and you cut into it and you realize oh my god i didn't make sure there wasn't any ricotta in this and it is just it is such a bummer do you like a calzone you know what after i said that i realized i don't like i mean a calzone

Even if it's made properly, it's just a pizza that's just origamied, right?

It's kind of like a folded pizza, yeah.

Like, it's crust. The exterior is the crust of the pizza. The interior is what would normally be on the pizza. And it's not that I don't enjoy the taste of it. It's that I just don't think, for me, it's the most effective delivery system for those tastes. Like, I'd rather just have a slice of pizza and then kind of consume it in the way that – by the way, welcome to the Sporkful. um except we are not now sitting on a pasta fortune i saw that danny p is did you see that

dan pashman was um tweeting out that he's on who's your old colleague allison from uh npr is he on allison's new york show on the podcast yeah and you guys all work together on brian park project it. you yeah allison stewart allison stewart yeah i saw she hosts like the local public affairs show i think she took over for like um oh phooey who was the is it was it brian lair whoever the every big city has the go-to local public radio news and affairs host who's been there for 1000 of years like and i maybe brian's still there but but allison also has a show i think it's called Like all of it I'm looking it up now

Yeah I didn't realize I thought it was a podcast I didn't realize That it's like a WNYC It's a radio show as well that's pretty cool

Well what's really cool is that like our Friend Dan Pashman of the Sporkful he He decided to do an entire season About trying to Come up with The best kind of pasta in Terms of I believe One of the terms he uses is forkability Like yeah can you grab it with the Fork does it hold the sauce On it etc and he it was a great season of his show and he came up with this thing called cascatelli which now they sell in trader joe's i believe he is now i'm not even kidding andrew i think he is a pasta consultant for like big food companies that are making new pastas like dan pashman it's like if you're ranking richest americans it's like elon musk with his sink and then dan passion with his cascatelli he walks into the office the guy that i knew the guy that i knew from the bryant park project because he used to bring in these like sausages that he had a whole system for taking out to Giants games so that he could tailgate effectively. Like, you know, Dan's been on the show a million times and I've said this kind of thing, but Dan really has always been interested in maximizing his kind of food experience. And he's always had a million like little hacks for the way to enjoy a particular food or the way to prepare it or the way to store it before it's being eaten. but i did not see this whole pasta magnate thing yeah right i know i know you know i used to get

a lot of emails from him like hey can i come on your show you know he's made it because i don't get those emails anymore no he does not he does not need he's got people we have to email win

rosenfeld now who will kick us to his personal assistant who will possibly if we're lucky reach out to dan's personal assistant by the way both both win and dan people i worked with on the everyone from the bryant park project has vastly eclipsed me you know who else i worked with there

rachel martin host of morning edition and you're with me you're with me don't you know what andrew don't put this on you i made these decisions no no i'm not putting it on me i'm just using me as a

as a uh example of where you are don't be mean to my friend this is this is this is 100 on me these are my life choices but everyone david gura was our newscaster like everyone from that show is crushing it allison stewart except me yeah well you know you killed in the meeting i'm just over here contemplating if i should delete my 15.9 000 eggs on twitter you're just trying to craft the perfect wiki feet tweet oh yeah oh yeah actually you know what let's take a break I literally was. And then I got distracted with South Centralano's joke about Bodhi and The Wire. So, all right, quick break and then back with more TBTL in a moment. All right, let's thank some of our holy donors. These are the wonderful, generous folks keeping the show going with their financial support, and boy, don't we appreciate it. Folks like Sarah Adelman of Seattle, Washington. Thank you, Sarah. I wonder if Sarah is related to one-time Portland Trailblazer coach Rick Adelman.

Why would you think that she isn't? They have the same last name. No, that's what I'm saying. I assume they are related.

Sarah, can you get me tickets? Mm-hmm. The Blazers got off to a 4-0 start this year I think I One or two seasons ago I tried to get in On the ground floor of the Blazers And they just had an absolute Terrible season and then they shipped CJ McCollum and they basically tanked But this year Boy oh boy they are looking actually pretty good And now I don't even know one player on the team

Have the Lakers won a game yet? That's the only thing I know about basketball is they got off to an 0-4 start I think

Yeah one of the losses was to the Blazers Oh there you go Also, you know, our friend Kevin Calabro is the TV voice of the Blazers.

Oh, yeah.

And speaking of people who I have to call Wynne Rosenfeld to get to their assistant, like, there was a moment, so I grew up obsessed with the Seattle Sonics, and their radio announcer was this guy Kevin Calabro, and I, to this day, think he's one of the best sports announcers of the season.

Of all time. And so the fact that at some point when the Sonics went away and he was kind of in between gigs, he hosted a show on the sports station in the cluster of stations that you and I worked at. And I got to actually be sort of friends with him. That was like, I can't, I can't even think. It'd be like you getting to be friends with Bob Mould or something. I don't know. Who do you?

Yeah, it's funny how you really pinned a lot of, a lot of who screwed you fandom on me. I feel a bit of a poser. I am not that super familiar with them But I know what you mean

Who would be a person in your teenage years Who eventually becoming Kind of friendly with them Where like on a first name basis would have just blown your mind I guess like television's Chris Hayes Uh huh

No I know Back when he was not born and you were in high school Right exactly Well like my buddy Ben Is kind of friends with Stephen Malkmus Or so he claims So you know that would be big for me like michael stanley or something right rest in peace yeah but so yeah so like there was this

weird moment where it was like we just worked with kevin colabro and we could have him on tbtl and i would say hi to him in the hallway and it was like almost more than like eventually getting to meet like sean kemp and gary payton because sean kemp owned that that restaurant oscars in seattle and camaro and i would go there something about like kevin collabro just being a person who knew my name was huge to me and then he went on to become the basically the voice of espn basketball uh called i think the finals on either westwood one or espn and then was hired by the by the blazers to be their tv guy and now doesn't return my text well i mean i think that's also just been

it's been a while like i mean your guy you know what i mean like i think that when you guys saw each other all the time at the radio station i mean even if he weren't a super famous person or or maybe not super but even if you weren't kind of a famous person like you just sometimes you just lose you lose touch with people when you're not interacting i remember the mum the mummy your old pal the mummy came to the station one time i remember him losing his shit over meeting kevin calabro he was like that's him right through the glass right there and to me i didn't know anybody in the sports world at that time so i knew various people were excited about various sports people who would be in that building um you know i mean rick riz other announcers i i don't know who but like i i don't think i quite appreciated your guys's enthusiasm for that

particular person he was very very very iconic for those of us who grew up in seattle at a certain time obsessed with the Sonics yeah I think really where I blew it with collabs was well one I kept asking him to be on Livewire like that's how I've burned more of my relationships with famous people than really anything else in the bad old days of Livewire when we were always just like hanging by a thread it was like who do you have in your Rolodex it was like well I can text Ben Gibbard or Kevin Calabro right right right both of whom do not text me back anymore by the way um I checked Rick Adelman does have the same spelling as Sarah Adelman of Seattle, Washington. It's done. We can't rule it out.

Print it.

We cannot rule it out. Thank you, Sarah. Thanks also to Raul Alvarez, also in Seattle, Washington.

Now, unless I'm getting my Rauls confused, I'm pretty sure this is Raul who we met at the picnic with his daughter and also is always emailing me insider information about life in the grocery store industry, which I find absolutely fascinating. We might have more than one, Raul, but I think this is our guy.

We're a show that can contain multiple Rauls.

Exactly. So anyway, thank you, Raul.

Thanks, Raul. Also, thanks to Carolyn Archer of Cambridge, Massachusetts. Oh, God.

October 28th. It might be nice. I'm trying to be like you, my guy. Take a little spin around Cambridge. I love Cambridge this time of year, Luke. It is magical.

I bet. I was jogging in Portland, which is the Cambridge of Oregon, and the leaves were down, and it was just like, it was, the color was changing, and there was leaves everywhere, and my thought was, God, I wish I was in Cambridge with Carolyn Archer. I mean, not like with, in a weird way, but just in the vicinity of Carolyn Archer in Cambridge. Also, Colleen Arnold is in Hayward, California. Hayward. Hayward. You know it? you know i don't i mean i know the name i was about to say bay area but actually i don't know

let's see hey for some reason i was thinking maybe inland empire but nope i'm wrong about that

oh really yeah oh yeah it's up in northern it's uh it's bay it's yay scary yep yep there you go it's not far from um let's see what else is up there now this is the part where i just start naming cities it's by the i fly indoor skydiving would you do one of those by the way you're not really far off the ground is that correct yeah i think becca got

one of like a a four pack of that for one of her brothers for their birthday and i think i'm supposed to be one of the four in the four pack but yeah you you wear like a suit and you you're on you're just basically on top of a giant fan so you're like four feet off the ground yeah i would i think i would do that are you inviting me thank you thank you what i'm doing is texting becca what the hell happened to my free indoor skydiving maybe we should thank some donors i want to thank kelly kelly carson in orlando florida hey kelly what's up kelly appreciate you i bet they have indoor skydiving in orlando i bet they've converted the entire city into an indoor skydiving center and also a huge thanks oh my goodness gracious are you kidding me Leah Chiarelli and Chad Kent out there in Shoreline, Washington Leah is of course a person that I went to Haller Lake Preschool with who also works with Pacific Northwest Ballet and is the reason that I once embarrassed myself as a rat on national television during the production of The Nutcracker I believe I met Leah's cousin at Teddy's a few weeks back Wow I mean there is I gotta ask my mom if she's got this photo By the way my mom is now taking to sending thirst traps To the family text chain Not that my mom knows what the word thirst trap means It's more like a compliment trap She Because we're going to my brother Sammy's Wedding celebration this weekend And in Hawk Squad My mom just sends out a picture Of her in her dress that she's going to wear Which by the way it looks really cute And she's like This is what I'm wearing for the wedding any comments question oh my any comments well more of a question than a comment and i'm so withholding i am so withholding i can't just be like mom you look super cute which is what she wants us to say and she does look super cute i had to say i bought that exact dress mom and i took the tags off wtf like that's how i have to respond in these moments the reason my mom came up was because there is a photo of me and leah chiarelli that i think my parents must have somewhere it was just a picture that was taken at howler lake preschool and it's me it's all the kids that are in this like preschool class and it's me and leah chiarelli and i really want to get that photo i think this has come up on the show before but But I don't know. I mean, it's got to be somewhere in my parents' house.

Ask your mom to send it to the gang.

Should we use the picture of my mom for the show pic today?

That's your call. I don't know. Any comments? You know what? I don't know. I mean, it's your family. You know them. I would be careful. I don't think I would use photos of my family, but I don't know.

Well, you're not close with them the way I am. Any comments? uh she's also standing right in front my parents are so funny like there just was a point where my dad figured out he could make bumper stickers and then they just went ham obviously the lord of the rings one that we talk about my mom in this photo is standing in front of their like 1999 toyota camry which is just decked out in seahawks shit like custom stickers like 12 stickers and it's like a seahawk car which is so funny because i don't know if my dad has sat through like even a quarter of the seahawks and like their house also has like seahawks parking they have so much seahawks sort of regalia there considering that like my mom will will walk through the room look at the screen and then go ugh and then walk out like that's her version of walking watching the seahawks my dad's usually in his shop smoking a cigar and working like they as people who have there are i don't think that there are is a group of people or a duo of people who have more seahawks stuff who actually track the seahawks less closely than i thought your mom had a good theory about

the seahawks the other day that one of you guys shared on the text she does sam i think sammy

might have retweeted it or retexted it my mom does actually like you know even a blind squirrel finds a nut right like my mom just sends out so much stuff about the seahawks on hawk squad that every once in a while she actually has a sort of an insight to the whole thing but it's just very funny because they they heavily identify as seahawk fans in terms of their bumper stickers and signage around their house but they're not like they're they don't sit down and like start watching you know like the pregame and then watch the entire game and then watch scott van pelt and do all the kind of you know also is my brother sam even a seahawks fan scheduling his wedding

celebration when the seahawks are playing the new york giants the new york football giants you know

first of all a couple of questions here number one regarding the bumper stickers i didn't know that we have like the ability to make any bumper sticker now can you have a make me one that says my other car is the e-line express um down aurora absolutely you know what andrew your birthday is around the corner it really is um also you know here's here's here's here's an idea or a thought i want to have about this like because you and i definitely as kids if you're wearing if you're wearing sports gear you feel like you better be a fan of that team you better know something about it as an adult i still feel that way like i have a i have kind of a cool baltimore orioles hat that my friend tiara got me and i love the baltimore orioles logo right but i'm always very hesitant to wear it because number one i'm a mariners fan but also i don't know anything about i don't know anything about the orioles right and i feel like if the second i put on that hat somebody's gonna come up to me and be like who's your favorite starter in the rotation that's going to crumple and die um but like there's a there is a seahawks apparel commercial that i hear on the am radios every now and then and they talk about getting your seahawks gear and their tagline i believe or their logline or whatever you call it is the fabric of the northwest and i think it's a brilliant tagline because it speaks to this idea that when you are a community rooting for a team it's more than just knowing the ins and out of the game but it's it's showing support of a region the way i really appreciated when you go down to la i love that everybody's wearing dodgers hats even though i'm not a dodgers fan like it truly feels like the la dodgers logo is so much bigger than the baseball team it is it is right it's almost like the uniform for living in los angeles and i think it's cool it doesn't feel front-runnery to me it feels cool maybe because i like the logo i i don't know but it was something that i associated with living down there and i didn't have one and i wouldn't wear one but like is there an argument to be made that like there you know i don't i'm not really into football apparel myself i'm more into baseball apparel but like i don't know there's something to be said about that that like you don't have to you don't have to know who who the um starting whiteout is or whatever in order to like kind of raise that

flag on your car d eskridge yeah there you go did you see that d eskridge is ready for his close-up this week it's good stop fumbling wait no i thought they were gonna give him one more week off no okay i missed i just saw a headline in the times it was like d eskridge is ready for his moment and i was like oh okay don't do what you did last week which is getting two stupid penalties and fumbling but he's all i thought he was is he not injured we don't have to get into this now i might be he he was hurt in that game and maybe he's maybe he's out maybe they're saying in two weeks he's ready for his moment but yeah just when you said wide out i thought of d anyway um i'm yes although it's that that's a good question what is the dodge this is going to sound hilarious when i say this out loud but like what is the dodgers of seattle well like obviously that would be the mariners but like what is the what is the sports team that typifies seattle or the northwest in such a way that wearing it is not even about the sports team but it's just about saying i'm from this place it would have to be the seahawks probably yeah i think so i mean because The Seahawks are the Dodgers of Seattle, I think is what we've realized.

But before 2013, would that have been the case?

Probably not. No, only for a select few of us, me included. I mean, and that's a weird thing, too. And really getting back to this photo of my mom in front of their Camry with the Seahawks business on it. My parents, I mean, even now they're kind of minimally aware of the Seahawks. But, like, yeah, before the Seahawks got really good in the Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll era, they couldn't be bothered like i watched so many games on that black and white tv which for some reason is coming up a lot on the show this week by myself i've told this story a thousand times but like the seahawks went under i believe the first or second season of dave craig being their quarterback they made the playoffs amazingly and they went and they played on the road in miami uh the dan marino helmed miami dolphins who were a phenomenon at the time and the seahawks had a fourth quarter comeback where they drove the entirety of the field and won the game and i remember i had a seahawks starter jacket that i had gotten second hand that i was wearing to watch this by myself in my living room on this black and white tv we live on 76th street and i just remember them winning and just being like i don't have anyone to i need to process this with someone And just walking up and down my street, hoping somebody would walk by so I could say, how about them see? yeah by the way i'm like eight at this time maybe i'm seven so that was that was the that was the football culture in my house was no one gave a shit except me you know what i just thought of

that's kind of sad i think and you tell me that story i just told you know i actually love me

walking around like that's early sports radio that's before there was sports talk it was me wandering up and down 76 three hoping someone would say oh i see you have a seahawks jacket on let's talk about the fact that dave craig just hit largent on third and eight over the middle

that was an insane play okay that's sad what else is sad is um i think the equivalent of the dodgers before i got here and maybe even in the first couple years when i was here and they had already moved away i feel like the equivalent of the dodgers logo here is an identifying sort of like regional team would have been the supersonics i feel like that is the way more iconic than the stupid sorry but like i don't like the iconography that goes along with the seahawks all that much it's like i don't know it's fine some of the more early basic stuff is fine but oh man the

seahawk is great very sort of native american uh in appearance like in terms of like it looks like something that could be on some native american art or a totem pole or something that was the peak everything since then has sucked but don't you think that that iconic

green on yellow supersonics logo is more closely like associated with like that is kind of the cool it's not the mariners logo it's not the seahawks logo but that was like that was the la dodgers logo for seattle i feel like i and and particularly now i think people in the know

right it's like a very it's sort of like you're letting everyone know that you get it that the nba ripped us off yeah there is a picture of xavier mcdaniel um where he's like in that that kind of uniform that sonics era you're talking about and he has his shoes are made by spot built do you remember this shoe company spot built no i think xavier mcdaniel was the only nba ambassador for the spot built uh shoe empire but i literally got a pair of spot built from chubby and tubby

because the x-man wore them another chubby and tubby reference on this week's show we got to get a new bingo card i had a theory the other day vives and i were driving down to tacoma the first time we kind of met and decided to adopt our new kitten bingo that does not count as a reference that was not a story it was just context um you only have two next week and on the way uh you know we met bingo we met a bunch of cats we chose bingo but we didn't take them home that day um and the vives and i stopped at a little cute diner had brunch and then stopped at a gas station and the person who was, like, the cashier at the gas station was kind of a younger man. I mean, I don't – actually, that may not – he's younger than me. I'm 45. But, like, anyway, he had on, I believe, a Supersonics throwback something, and I just said – you know, I complimented him on it or something. And on the way out, I tossed a theory to Genevieve. It's a very, very half-baked theory here, Luke, but I'd love your take on it as a longtime Seattleite and somebody who grew up here. I would love to give my take on this, whatever it is. I think that in 2022, Tacoma is more Seattle than Seattle. Oof. Yes.

100%.

Well, then that's an Andrew W. win.

There is also a Tacoma connection for the Seattle Sonics, which is they played an entire season in the Tacoma Dome. Oh, okay. When then Key Arena Now Climate Pledge Arena Was being renovated They played an entire season in Tacoma And it was sort of a disaster Because it was a lot of traffic And a big hassle And you had to go all the way down to Tacoma To watch the Sonics But putting that aside You're exactly right Tacoma is Seattle From the 1980s And early 90s You know what I think this guy

i might be this guy i think had a supersonics hat on and was wearing a nirvana shirt but he again i don't think he was an old i don't think he was like our age so i don't know all that stuff is back again yeah but and it just sort of felt to me though and then somebody else kind of came in and i was just sort of looking at the people around me i was like i just have a feeling that the people here in this like little tacoma area that i am in have more kind of connection to the seattle like what what is like i don't know if it's fair to say the true seattle but the seattle of the past the roots of seattle than people like me who've moved to seattle in the past 15 years or or even more recently than that to take a tech job or what have you i sort of feel like the soul

of seattle might live in tacoma i think that that is a very astute observation look at that and i i think you're absolutely right i really do like you know i've i've talked about this a lot but when i grew up in seattle it was a very working class place like

Thank you.

A lot of my friends, my friend Joe Dolan, like his granddad was a crab. His granddad died fishing for crabs in Alaska, you know, lighting out of like shill shill. Like most of my, you know, my most of my friends, in fact, all of my friends and my dad included did some form of manual labor. That was pretty unless you were like at Microsoft, which all those folks were over in Redmond. It was pretty much just like logging, fishing, construction, stuff like that. That was really most of the people that were in the city, and that is certainly not the case these days. And as we see our friends at KUOW sort of protesting, if you will, to try to get a living wage over there, it's like it is – and probably the vast majority of our listeners are in Seattle right now, so they don't need me to tell them this. But it is a very, very expensive, very different place than the version of it that I grew up in.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, you know, I love Seattle and I love living here, but it is like the city has problems. And I do believe very strongly that it was this tech money that came in and specifically Amazon that made this place really unaffordable and also led to the just vast, vast divide between the haves and have nots in the city. I always talk about the time that I in like within a couple of city blocks past a huge homeless encampment and then walked into a weed store that was next to a umbrella store that was like a whole place in Wallingford that just sold like two different styles of umbrellas. Luke is like one of those places that it's like I don't know if it's still there but like I was just like how you know how can this you can buy a hundred and fifty dollar umbrella here while there are people literally living outside on the sidewalk on the same block it's not right do you think a weed store called the ombudsman would do oh my god I think that would be wonderful yes I

think that'd be great like that's I don't really want to get into the I'm the weed space is not a thing that i really know much about but i feel like the name ombudsman is like maybe we advocate

for the readers of high times but we also sell weed right exactly i love i love that name yeah i used to have some weed uh shop names in my back pocket because they're they tend to be punny or they can't they can lend themselves to puns if you choose to accept that path and i you know i gotta admit i've really been kind of leaning into pun culture lately although i'm not proud of it

We should take another little quick break and then get to music for your weekend. But I mentioned a while ago on the show that I'm doing a story about cannabis cooking. Like as in cannabis cuisine, like not pop brownies, but like people that make really sort of elevated food and they also involve cannabis in it. And I'm going to be going to New York in a couple weeks to a restaurant that does this. But it's funny because my friend Anthony, who's the producer for this piece has been going around and around with cbs legal on how much weed i'm allowed to eat on television yep i wondered about that and apparently this is what they've this is literally like a meeting that happened at the highest levels of cbs television paramount today they were highly specific no snacking i'm not allowed to snack on i'm allowed to have a single bite of weed on television but i'm not allowed to snack on it what that does not

what does that even mean yeah that is like the most legally dubious thing i've ever heard or not even dubious but like a non-specific thing i've ever heard yes i'm allowed a single taste

cbs just called i'm just anthony's fine with this cbs just called you are allowed a single taste exclamation just one single taste of one dish they were oddly highly specific all caps No snacking Like I mean Forget it I'm gonna I'll eat everything on the plate And nobody at standards and practices Will ever see this like this is the weird dance Of I mean it's the reason that I'm 75% Of the way through my stupid cyber Training at our other work it's like You have these big companies and then there are The legal people who The only bad outcome for them Is if something if they don't Cover their asses so of course it's always The sort of momentum is always towards overly careful, no snacking on weed, but you can have one bite. Make sure you watch this stupid video that you can answer the questions without reading the – or you can answer the questions without even reading any of it. That's all just legal in big companies, but it's still kind of weird.

Just get high and do your IT training. I do have some edibles.

I mean I have some gummies here. Maybe I'll tuck into those later. We're done with this.

I don't think I've ever, I don't think I've ever seen you on any kind of weed product before. Are you trying to build up a bit of a tolerance or at least like know what to expect? Or am I overestimating your aversion to it?

No. A while ago, I thought, and I actually stand by this. I thought, boy, I'd be better off if I did a little more weed and a little less booze. Like, you know, alcohol is poison. Weed grows in the ground. Like, if I can get the kind of relief I'm looking for from weed instead of alcohol, that would be an upgrade for my health. And, you know, it's Portland. so there are like a million high-end weed places. So I went to one around the corner, and I basically said that. I was like, I'm looking for something that will kind of mellow me out, but it's not going to make me paranoid, whatever. And they gave me these gummies. They didn't give them to me. I had to pay for them.

Oh, weird.

But I got these gummies, and I took a couple when I was in Oceanside doing a story about cruise ships, like this guy living on a cruise ship. And I enjoyed it, sort of, But it's like I just I haven't done it enough to really know my way around it. Like I know exactly where I stand after two vodka sodas. I don't really know how I stand after a gummy. And it does make my brain feel sort of paranoid in a way. Like if I drink a couple drinks and I get a buzz, I feel relief. If I eat a couple gummies and I get a buzz, I feel a little worried.

Yeah. As somebody who has a lot of experience with both, I don't I do not personally see how one can replace the other. Like that math Has never added up for me but you know Everybody's I guess system is a little bit different

I saw somebody on twitter wrote The people you know That don't do weed are the biggest alcoholics you've Ever met I was like Huh well that sort of checks out with My experience like I am a not I'm not a weed person because I'm an alcohol person You know or the hey

Some of us out here are both Uh huh double threat That's what they Like dead left shrimp you can go right or you can go left

That's why it's hard to guard you Andrew I try to like shade you to the left But then you can just go strong to the cuff With your left hand

A double threat That's what they call me in the HR department

Was that why there was that picture of you In the training

Yeah holding my head in my hands

Alright let's do a little I know we didn't talk about food on art But whatever that'll keep happening We can revisit that story in two weeks When someone puts an entire dozen Donuts on the Mona Lisa Or something

I don't even think we hit the top story sounder Right so this is like a no river day Is that what you would call it It's a no river day

It's a no river Friday my friends Because I have to go eat some edibles I've got places to be Let's do a little music for your weekend What song would you like

Let me give you a little choose your own adventure situation Would you like to hear something That's kind of like really Nice and mellow for kind of a mid-fall evening, getting ready to maybe tuck in.

Kind of getting under a blanket, eating some edibles, ordering some Greek pizza.

That's really nice. I got that for you. I just lay out my afternoon. I have something that's a little bit more like kind of poppy, almost like kind of 90s-influenced alternative-sounding pop music that's new by a 19-year-old, or something that is more like kind of modern, kind of psychedelic.

I want modern psychedelic in honor of my weed I'm doing later now I do not

know much about this and I will say this you played a song that I like a lot and I put it on my fall playlist Luke the other day and I'm blanking on the name of the band but you sort of said like this is a song I like but it's funny because the band I don't like their I cannot say that word but their aesthetic aesthetic aesthetic like their look yeah I have a problem with S's next to T H's I used to have a lisp and I still can't quite get over that but anyway And I kind of knew what you meant But kind of not And I listened to some of that band's other stuff

I forget what they were called That I played a couple weeks ago

They have a very modern rockabilly look Because I watch a few of their videos More of a punk influenced But rockabilly look And I like their music And I was like okay yeah I wouldn't have gotten kind of hung up on their look But then I got a press release For this artist who This is going to start off like I'm giving a put down But it's going to end up being a put up I get a lot of press releases about new releases And sometimes you can just sort of tell By reading the very first lines Whether or not you're going to be into it And it was like This avant-garde visual artist Slash songwriter Slash And then like four other things And I'm kind of like I don't think this is for me

Simmer down, Stu

Exactly I was like This person is going to be too outsider artist-y for me And usually that music is going to be like really weird. And and like I like I like some noisy stuff, but like there has to be some sort of a whatever, some sort of structure around it. But I'm like, OK, whatever. I'll hit play on it. And it's by this artist, Caleb Landry Jones, who, again.

I think mostly is a visual artist, but has the song called Croc Killers 2. Luke, I don't know anything about Caleb Landry Jones. The video was kind of like, again, not to my aesthetic taste. I don't know what Croc Killers 2 means. I don't know if there's a Croc Killers 1. I don't know if this is like anti-rubber shoe sentiment here or if it's about crocodiles. I have no idea, but I got to say it's good. It's pretty good. I mean, I don't know if it's psychedelic.

Caleb Lansry-Jones was in three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. Really? Yeah. This is what IMDb is telling me.

What?

Also, it was in X-Men, First Class, Get Out, and Contra Land. So he's an actor as well. And this is an odd thing. They are, I don't know what gender Caleb uses, but they're listed as being 5'11 1⁄4", which is an oddly specific height.

Here, I'm going to look this up. Who is it

Who established that Caleb Landry is 5 foot 11 inches and one Quarter of an inch I feel like Caleb

Probably I mean that's

What I think I mean honestly only Caleb Landry would know down To the quarter of an inch their height like No one else would be able to say That with any veracity here we go

I'm going to read you from this press release that Came to me from who's from Pitch perfect PR Award winning yeah I know your I know those people Award winning actor, visual artist and musician Caleb Landry Jones releases a new single Slash video, Croc Killers 2 From his new album, Godzooks Volume 2, out November 4th Via Sacred Bones

You know who used to say Godzooks?

Oh, that cartoon character, right?

Yeah, exactly The alien on the Flintstones

You just remind I had totally forgotten about that alien Until it was brought up recently So anyway, this is Caleb Landry Jones doing this song the name of the song that i have here is crock killers 2 i don't know if i described it properly with psychedelic but just take a listen to this it kind of gets into a little groove

We'll be right back.

I can't tell what he's saying there, but you know what just occurred to me? Very, I am the Eggman. Very Sergeant Peppery to me.

Also, doesn't that piano, it just occurred to me, it reminds me of that first famous Fiona Apple song.

Oh yeah, sure

I've heard this song maybe three times now And it wasn't until this listening that I realized At the beginning of that Yeah, it's almost a And I need to be redeemed

Yeah It's almost Cause he's all I ever knew of love You know what Fiona Apple is doing right now, by the way?

Well, I know that she dropped that really kind of epic record A year or so ago

Yeah, get the, what was it, get the snippers Yeah, yeah, yeah Fetch the cutters

Fetch the bolt cutters, yeah

Fetch the bolt cutters Fiona Apple spent the pandemic basically zooming in on court proceedings in places where people who are probably not getting a fair legal shake are being subjected to legal proceedings. So she was basically an observer to make sure that people were getting their just sort of treatment in court. and she's actually recently been on like i think twitter laying out kind of why it is that this is important work and also the ways that the legal system really tends to um ruin the lives of people particularly people of color particularly men of color and then the people around them it radi you know ripples out and radiates out so fiona apple of all people is like doing some really important and good social justice work right now respect that's cool yeah exactly um you know when i heard that song andrew i was like that sounds exactly like music made by a person who's five foot 11 inches and a quarter it's almost too much in there it's almost distracting right but it's it's like not 5 11 not six feet What, 5'11 in one quarter? Yeah, aggressively so. I don't know how tall Steve Lacey is, but I know that I freaking love this dude's music. I played a Steve Lacey song, I don't know, a couple years ago because Steve Lacey famously made his first album on his iPhone, and apparently to this day he still records his albums on his iPhone. He has basically a sort of, what would you call it, an input for his phone that he can play guitar into, And he records his vocal tracks on his iPhone Which is just so cool Because he's very successful now And could be in, you know Any studio he chose But he still does that Anyway, this song Have you listened to Gemini Rites at all? This Steve Lacey album?

No, I don't think I know Steve Lacey I mean, I guess it sounds like you've talked about Steve Lacey before Although it's not ringing a bell to me

I just played a song of his a long time ago Because Addy turned me on to it But man, dude, check out This album, I think it's been out for It came out this summer Gemini writes, it is so good. This dude is, like, insanely talented. So I wanted to play this song Static, which I kind of wanted to play it two ways. So I wanted to play the version that Steve Lacey does. But honestly, the way that this song really wormed its way into my brain was there's a sped-up version on TikTok that I also included a link to. So why don't we just listen to—this might have a swear in it, by the way, so just heads up on that. But can we hear a little of Steve Lacey's song, Static, off of Gemini Rides?

You want to hear the original one off the album? Yeah, can you play the original first? Here it is.

Ain't gon' feel the void Do you even really like this track? Take away the drugs Would you feel the noise? More and more you try to run away You can go for yourself Do you feel the toy? Uh Looking for it to be saved Cause I'm over boys Would you be my girlfriend, baby?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Something turned me up Smoking made me Cause I'm longing

That's probably as much of the song as we can play without getting pulled by Spotify. How good is that, by the way? That's good. That's real chill. I don't think I've heard this before, yeah. This whole album, dude, is... The whole album isn't this kind of level of stripped-down piano or whatever he's got. there's a whole range of stuff he's a very very talented um producer and musician um but there is also a sped up version that like i hear in my head like do you get those songs where you're just walking around seeing like you know what i mean i guess it's called an earworm it's a thing that they've already described but like just i've been walking around with the sped up version of this song in my head for probably like two months i'll sing it to bubbles it's very weird can you play the sped-up version from TikTok.

Baby, you got something in your nose Sniffing that K, did you fill the hole? Hope you find peace for yourself New boyfriend, ain't gon' fill the void Do you even really like this track? Take away the drugs, would you feel the noise? More and more you try to run away I wonder how Steve Lacey feels about this sped up version

Because obviously he put a lot of time and thought into the version that's on the album But I feel like the Chipmunks version kind of slaps too

I think I like it a little bit better actually yeah too i think it's just like is it still really chill you know there's like a whole kind of vibe

on tiktok now of of speeding up songs so there are just like a ton of songs like this where i don't even a lot of times i don't even know the original version i just know the sped up version and then like people doing some weird dance over it or whatnot um it's kind of entertaining it's interesting

because remember i got real obsessed like after moonlight came out the movie moonlight and they had that chopped and screwed version of classic man that was how i got kind of obsessed with jadena for a while and that just like that's what i'm gonna say that first version of the

steve lacy song kind of felt a little jadena-y to me yeah it's like

And it was really, really slow. Yeah, actually, now I want to go back and listen to that. I haven't heard that. There was like a, I think it was like, maybe it was around this time of year. Maybe it was a winter. I don't know. I feel like I listened to that song like five, like that version of the song.

Isn't that your going to the Mariners song too?

No, I mean, there was a different, then Jadenna came out with a new record that I liked a lot that my friend turned me on to. Is he Classic Man guy? He is, yeah. Well, let's just do this. This was the chopped and screwed version of Classic Man as it appeared. I think I might have too many things going here. That had disappeared in the movie Moonlight

I actually would like to watch the movie again

I think the main character is just kind of driving at night Listening to that through the city It's just, yeah, it's so good And I think that's the right version there I'm not 100% sure But anyway, yeah, I just Yeah, I don't know what I was getting I guess you like the sped up version of a song I just like, yeah, there's a lot of these songs

I mean, I would say that for me The appeal of TikTok, which is, you know, rotting my brain And probably allowing the Chinese government To slowly take over America Although I honestly think I would take Xi Jinping over Donald Trump So I don't know, maybe that's a net win for us There's just like So much music on TikTok that i love that's just so incredibly mashed up like there is a there's like a reggae version of losing my religion that's going around that is just oddly listenable like let me see if i can

find this because i'm just doing this because that does not that sounds oddly unlistenable to

me but i know and it should be and it kind of is but it somehow let me see i don't know it's just giving me a bunch of um cat videos from tiktok i'll uh i'll find it you know what maybe i'll play it next week andrew there you go i would say that so much of tiktok for me is not actually visual it's auditory because almost everything has a soundtrack under it and it's just there are just these the iterations of the songs are just crazy to me um there's another one that's like maybe next week what i'll do is i'll find like three of my favorites that are just unbelievably creative and weird versions of music there's one that's like a beethoven song that's just a person saying sheesh in the in the like notes of a beethoven song and it's just like you know it's playing under a guy like trying to pour cement badly on like a job site or something it's like it's the sounds of tiktok are as big of a draw as anything for me all right uh let's get to the listener suggestion which comes this week from listener zach in queens he says hey dummies this tune caught my ear it's salary man by kiwi jr i know nothing about this band other than that they are from toronto and the song scratches an early 90s jangle pop nerve in me nice um spotify's algorithm has my number what can i say hope you're both well signed listener zach so that's what we're going to go out with a little uh salary man by kiwi jr um and we'll say thanks for listening this week thanks for being part of tbtl we will be back here on monday with more imaginary radio for you so please do join us for that till then have a great weekend go seahawks go phillies and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

so often there's no time to think i know my body i vomited to the sink and that's okay I am a salary man I want cigarettes from Japan That taste like oranges I miss our talks over coffee Nothing says home like a basket of folded white shirts We can forgive, but we will forget Even when everyone talks about it The snake sleeps I can't get home No TTC I didn't charge my cell phone last night

Aloha means hello and goodbye Goodbye Bye! Power out.