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I'd like to get everyone's first impressions. Who'd like to jump in? Anyone? How about you, Ramon? It's just stupid. Okay. Could you elaborate, Ramon? Stupid how? Please, be as specific as possible, Ramon.

I thought, well, this is a great, bright group of people. They're really into what they're doing. They're exciting. They're excited. They're doing cool things. They're wacky, and I fit right in.

Hello, town jubilation committee? Yeah, I got something that's going to make you a lot less jubilant.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

They're very expensive freshwater clams from the Cuyahoga River.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in extremely cloudy and foggy Portland, Oregon. Cloud fog. I can barely see the street from my perch here in this now very overpriced apartment. Now that I am month to month. Oh, and not being evicted. That's an update. On yesterday's episode, I have settled things up with Graystar, the management company that owns my apartment. So I guess I'm allowed to be here doing the show, getting us to episode 3,821 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. You know that Thanksgiving is a very big deal to me and a very big deal to my family, and yet we're not doing Thanksgiving this year. How about some meat? Do you like turkey? Who are you calling turkey? This illness that seems to be hitting everybody. It's not COVID. Something else is hitting all manner of Burbanks. And we're not going to do a family Thanksgiving, which is kind of a bummer. We can talk about that coming up. Also, I was watching this documentary series on Netflix last night. And it was it was about a story about this kid who tried to get Pepsi to give him a Harrier jet, a military jet because of a tv commercial which i feel i was instrumental in the reporting on and i was not mentioned in the documentary i'd like to point out to anybody watching this is really bunk journalism i was very upset by that i will continue watching the series just to make sure that they don't mention me but um we may get into that and also uh we have more fish news

That's a tuna, bro.

Carrot, the upsettingly large, those are my words, the upsettingly large goldfish has been captured and then released. We will just marvel at the absolutely massive nature of this goldfish coming up. And we'll talk to this guy, the longest running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. He's smart and has a good voice for radio. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I don't want to, I don't know, fuselage shame here, but I would say that, like, if your name is Harry or Jet, see a barber, you know? Maybe shave it off a little bit. Let's clean that up. Let's just keep it tight. You went with fuselage. I don't know if I was using it right. I couldn't think of what the body. I think you were.

I think a fuselage would be any.

any kind of a tube that contains something, right? I mean, most often associated with aeronautics. Would fireworks have a fuselage as well?

I don't know. I just thought I took a flyer on that. It's interesting that you've kind of...

I don't think you were wrong. I just thought you did. I would have gone with wing shame or airplane shame, but you went with fuselage.

Well, I was trying to think, what is the body of a plane? It was like a body shaming joke, so I think it's fuselage. And I didn't know that it was... Fuselage. I didn't know that it was...

The main body of an aircraft.

Okay, yeah, I think it's... God, it's an Andrew W. Wednesday once again. Does it only apply to airplanes? Because I'd never heard it apply to anything else. It's all I'm seeing. There you go. But anyway, terrible joke. Terrible joke, the Harrier thing. I don't think I've ever heard the term Harrier jet because it really struck me as you said it. I think I've seen it read, but hearing Harrier jet, I just, well, you know what I pictured. I pictured a big shaggy jet.

I believe it was called a Harrier jump jet when I was a kid, and I don't know what that even meant. Yeah, Harrier jump jet.

Does it mean it can take straight up off the ground? Like it jumps up, really?

Yes, it does. A certain version of it, I believe, its thrusters, if you will, can kind of rotate so that it goes straight up. Like I think an Osprey is a version of a Harrier jump jet, which can basically take off vertically.

That means that, and I don't want to brag here, that means that I had a G.I. Joe toy. I believe it would have been a big jet that I think was part of Cobra's forces. Not that I'm choosing sides in that battle. I had toys that represented both sides of the battle, right? There are good toys on both sides, Luke. Sure, some very fine toys on both sides of this debate. Did you get the tiki torches? Oh, that actually hurts my heart to picture that as a toy. But I had some sort of big purple jet. I feel like this is an example of me being a spoiled kid. Like, this was, like, I already had a lot of G.I. Joe toys. But then for Christmas one year, I got this big, it was some sort of a purple jet. Beautiful purple balls. But it had, like, and it didn't self-propel. It was just a toy that you'd play with with your hands. But, you know, maybe a couple of Joes would go in there. And it had, like, some sort of spinning, like, propellers or something so that it looked like a jet, But essentially could take off from the ground In your imagination

Yeah, that was a big I feel like that was kind of a big Cool military thing when I was a kid Or, you know, aviation thing Was the Harrier jump jet I feel like I might have even seen one at an air show With my dad back in the day

Yeah, I love air shows I know that we talk a lot about that special Episode of TBTL we did like 13 years ago now Oh god, I found the toy you know what it was more of a helicopter than a jet just forget everything um but uh what did the fuselage look like this thing is also it's missing its rotors who's gonna buy

this on ebay if it doesn't have its road how did the internet get when you put in gi joe harrier jump jet how did it know to give you a picture of a helicopter because i typed in

gi joe toy purple and it got me there and it's going it looks like without rotors and had two big rotors on top yeah that really makes this purple balls way more of a helicopter than a jet so i mean forget all the wait i get a completely yeah gi joe toy purple brings me a gi joe character

who was uh who wore purple oh who was it um it's just a photo of this person um it was there was a cobra this wow gi joe cobra action figure military hasbro 1987 c hold on it's loading sea slug purple ray navigator there was a bad guy that worked for cobra named sea slug boy you know he was really at the end of the line for nicknames yeah well you name your kid sea slug

you're gonna end up fighting for cobra he's gonna basically have some demons he's gonna end up in

cobra he's just gonna be looking for someone to lash out at i think this might be called the mamba

if you want to better look at this gi joe cobra mamba although it looks like a lot of people have broken and lost you see it's really big it's got like it had like three compartments two of which would like kind of shoot off like you you could have three compartments for characters to sit in two of which would then snap off and fly away on their own if they needed to make a mission down to down to the ground i guess and then it had like man i would have coveted there's a decent

chance i would have stolen this from you if we were friends i had a bit of an issue with that when i was a kid did you really like only a couple of times it wasn't even toys one time i stole money drugs well yeah one time i stole five dollars from mike fulmer and then i admitted it to my parents later in a in a fit of conscious uh of conscience uh and then i had to go and knock on their door of their house and his parents came to the door and i had to say i'm sorry i stole five dollars from mike fulmer and they were like our son why did you use both of his names i was like i don't

know i just want to be specific you're like later on i'm going to be a broadcaster and i find that there's a lot of mics out there like could have been a different mic just because your kid why

did you give your kid the most generic name ever mr and mrs fulmer but wait don't i have a lot of

questions let's go through this slowly if you don't mind unless you have a bunch of other things you need to talk about save her every i really do because i i've heard a lot of your stories from your youth some of which i remember some of which i don't but i think this is a new one that makes two of us tell me about this theft so you stole it from mike your peer i'm gonna guess my friend yeah like it was i thought of him as my friend i probably he probably didn't think of me as his friend after this you well i mean like you didn't steal it from the parents it wasn't like in an open jar in the kitchen or something this was from his bedroom or something yeah i i forget

i mean we were in his house he had five dollars i i've seen my my memory of it is that i took the five dollars and then this is the really bad part and this is i feel actually that's my impression of put my thing down flip it and reverse it in reverse and i don't think it was very good was it as good as my ringo star from last week which our friend oh yeah televisions chris hayes just randomly texted us great ringo star impression do you remember

doing that because i kind of don't even remember i get it was it was awful it is so nice when somebody sends us a note like you made me crack up when i heard blank and i'm just like that's awesome and in the back of my head i'm like i have no recollection of what you're talking about

no but if somebody said how about this if somebody reminded you of a thing you did poorly i bet you

very much remember that i certainly would so i remember this is the part that i feel especially

bad about i have a memory of him furiously looking around for the five dollars that it was already in my pocket i think you know i mean you don't know because you weren't a little asshole as a kid like i was well but i do know that's when it's really a bad feeling yeah i if i could have just put it back at that point i would have it was the kind of thing where i was like huh there's five dollars boy i wish i had that well i could slip it in my pocket and then it's like he's like uncle billy And it's a wonderful life trying to find the money that, you know, he was supposed to send in for the Bailey building and loan taxes. And I'm just standing over there with the five dollars in my pocket, just really regretting the decision.

Yeah, I see that. I don't think I ever did that. I mean, I'm quite certain I've never done anything like that. But I know the feeling of instant regret as a child. You had both Cobra and G.I. Joe toys. You didn't need to steal five dollars. If I needed $5, I'd just take my toys down to the pawn shop. Do you think I can pawn my Cobra Mamba? Just for two days, I'm going to get this back.

I am getting this back. I just need this money to get me out of a jam.

But they're going to ask for extra figures, not just the figure that comes with it, but also two more piles. No, you have to throw in like a Storm Shadow, maybe a Bazooka. Oh, man, Bazooka. um okay yeah that i do know that feeling though of like kind of doing something and then immediately watching like watching somebody react in the moment and you have some sort of knowledge and just like that feeling of just like immediately just oh god could i just turn back time by like two minutes here because this is not this is already this isn't going right yeah and i would

do this not that's the only time i remember specifically like stealing from a friend of mine but you know i was in this cycle as a kid where i would i would do something that was sort of not okay and then my guilt over going to hell would eventually um sort of build up to a point where i would then go to my parents typically at night and i would like say i need to talk to you about something and then i would admit to everything bad that i had done and then i would have to then go sort it out like one time i stole money from the the um lunchroom uh money box at daniel bagley elementary school and they blamed chin hung for it i had to go apologize over that because she was working the register i was on lunchroom duty but she was actually at the till and somehow i got my hands on some money from the till and they blamed her because she was standing

at the till and you could hear somebody yelling at her you're short you're short where's the money

and you're just like watching this it was a very intense environment in the daniel bagley

that's what it sounds like that sounds awful wait going back to joe though is joe the person you stole the money from mike mike sorry um so you had to go knock on the door the parents say why are you saying mike falner he's our son you can just call him mike or mikey uh and you said yeah mikey and then then what happens he comes to the

door you have to make the exchange in front of him does he forgive you i don't even remember if he was there i just remember talking to his parents giving them the five dollars maybe he was there but then i just remember him no you know what andrew what we were friends after that you know why you know how i know this i was with his family when i shit my pants at the mariner

how many strikes do you get with this family i believe i believe they rung me up on that one

i do i feel very confident that was the last time we ever hung out that was when the fulmers officially said no thank you we've had enough luke burbank in our life when he's not stealing money he's disappearing for hours at the mariners game and then reappearing and telling a story of sitting down on someone else's shit on the toilet seat which is why your pants were all wet right

because you had cleaned that was my cover story yeah yeah but you weren't gross when you got back you were just soaking wet from cleaning yourself off or maybe oh i believe i was gross yeah you

were probably i did everything i could do but i mean this story has been told too many times on the show but like one of the things was the kind of that this was at the time where stadiums were really, really committed to making your shitting experience as bleak as

it could be. Yeah.

The fact that there was a door is amazing. They were like, what if we built a giant concrete bunker, made three teams play inside it on turf that will grievously injure most of the players, and what if the fans also had to pull the toilet paper down one

section at a time?

heaven forbid we have normal toilet paper that just kind of like gently and easily comes off the roll i guess their thought was someone was going to put it in the toilet and then flush the toilet and then it runs the toilet paper out you ever seen that move yeah i mean i at least know of it yeah yeah i've never i never even did that no but like it was i mean i do feel like these days stadiums are they're saying how do we make this a pleasant experience for the fans when i was a kid the kingdom was like can we make this a more brutal experience and they did with like that kind of toilet paper so i wasn't like i had a a lot of options in that stall after my situation happened so i don't know i mean i tried to get myself as clean as i could but i mean my guess is it was still there were still some you know probably something kind of there was still a

long car ride home. There were some odors, my guess. Yeah, I'm guessing. Did they put you in the back with the dog on the

way home? No, that was my friend Ben Folk and that dog was named Zorba. That was when I took a Dramamine. We drove out to Nia Bay to visit Ben's uncle who taught on the reservation there. We went salmon fishing, had a fine time, but I had gotten very carsick on the ride out there and so on the way home they gave me a Dramamine which is just basically a sleeping pill which caused me to sleep through our one bathroom stop which caused me to have incredibly bad stomach pain when I did wake up which caused me to just rip some farts and try to blame this massive German shepherd named Zorba

Never have you been so lucky to have a massive German shepherd No one was buying it Not even Zorba But at least you had something that you could all believe in together all lie about together Nobody in that car wants to call you out Everybody wants plausible deniability and they just want to get through it, right?

I feel like I sensed some pretty intense eye rolls from at least the parents. First of all, if you've ever had a dog, you know what their farts smell like. Dogs' diets are very consistent, typically, and you start to get a sense for what's coming out of the southbound end of that northbound dog. So that was already a giveaway. And then I was doing this move. i was eventually wide awake and having the stomach uh distress and i remember like pretending to wait so pretending to be asleep and then pretending to wake up to the smell and then going zorba and then going back to sleep other than my ringo star one of my least convincing performances

ever the daytime emmys just called they want their award back i mean i wonder if the family's also kind of like don't i i was thinking everybody's just happy to be like okay yeah zorba like okay

again i also cannot overstate how small this car was too that was the wild thing like this car was a i believe if it was a four-door it was a very small four-door hatchback like the kind that had it was not a like um it was some kind of toyota if i remember right it was a an extremely small I don't know how five people in a massive German Shepherd were able to take a like four hour drive and stay for four or five days. with this being the vehicle that conveyed us to the place so it also that didn't help either

i wonder if it was a tercel terceles are pretty small but this one had some sort of a hatchback

right it had a hatchback i remember it had a glass like it had a hatchback with a big you know with like a glass window on it i guess yeah and zorba was riding in the way back and again the way back was pretty close if it were this if it were today i'd be in the fourth row of the chevy equinox and No, I would have a friggin' clue.

I'm pretty sure those seats open up and turn into toilets. I'm not sure. But I think I've seen that in a commercial now, right?

I was too early, Andrew. Yeah. If only I would have been having all of these stomach problems in the modern era, it would be completely fine. I could be watching Dora the Explorer on a hologram screen and shitting my brains out. The all-new Chevy Equinox.

Like God intended. for the card well whatever i don't have to be uh too gross about it but um so just to be very clear though you are convinced that the um that the the baseball game came after this five dollars

situation i actually am because i really i i mean this i'm pretty sure that was the last time that family ever ever like the parents i bet you they got home and had a talk they were like You know Mike You know Mike Fulmer

You know Mr. Fulmer

Please just say Mike You know Mike We should probably look into Developing some new friendships for you Because this Luke Burbank thing is really not working out

I mean I wonder Especially if you're using his full name And you've told that story so many times On the show Because apparently Luke you just tell the same story No just joking But like you've told the story before I mean, does he know is he still in Seattle? Is he like walking around as an adult knowing that a childhood friend named Luke Burbank keeps telling the story about like being with his family when he crapped his pants at a baseball game?

I wouldn't know. The last I heard of Mike Fulmer, he was dating my one time middle school girlfriend, Amy Harris. Why did I think you were going to say teacher? In fact, I believe they may have even gotten married. I believe he might be married to my and he might be married to my very, very short lived middle school girlfriend, Amy Harris.

There is a, I guess, a baseball player whose name is Mike Fulmer that the Mariners potentially would be interested in acquiring. This is an article, though, from the middle of the season. But I'm assuming that's a different Mike Fulmer.

Yeah, the Mike Fulmer I know is terrified to go inside any baseball stadium to this day, to this day.

He crosses the street if he sees a baseball stadium in front of him.

A lot of trauma around stadiums for that. The Mike Fulmer I'm thinking of. I don't know. And no, please, everybody be cool. Nobody, like, find this person. And, I mean, I don't care. Honestly, I do feel like he might be relieved to hear the actual story. Like, oh, that's why it smelled that way. That's why Luke was gone for one hour of the baseball game. The other thing that I remember from that day was, for some bizarre reason, I feel like we were sitting near the mummy's older brother, Ben. like somehow this all came together so that i remember it being the old the mummy's older brother ben was an absolute terror in my life he drove a car called the cat killer which he was all just rattle canned he had spray painted the whole car and he had put marks for every cat he allegedly had killed um when i would get a ride home from soccer practice with him and there he was driving and there was a car making a left turn in front of him he would gun it towards the car and yell hit me i need the money and then tell me that if you just throw the wheel in a certain way you could survive any car crash he also pointed a loaded shotgun once at me and the mummy because we passed through his basement domicile at their parents house but i remember this one this him being weirdly nice to me as my stomach was reeling from what was going on at this baseball game it must have somehow been coordinated of jesus creek people or something

say what you want about ben you never stole five dollars from that guy i'll bet you you never tried

to steal money from old ben sure i'm just saying the the only answer for a bad luke with a five dollars is a good ben with a loaded bad ben shotgun that is terrifying he's now a produce manager at a qfc in federal way and apparently smokes a lot of weed and is very mellow well

that's good yeah all's well that ends well yeah all right good hey you know what we started i i made a terrible joke about hairy jets and then that led to me talking about toys which led to our you know this conversation about uh youth but you said something at the top of the show that maybe we should explore a little bit here if you want to which is that your thanksgiving is crumbling around you yeah what's going on Thank you.

Well, some of my siblings found out about the $5 I stole from Mike Fulmer They don't feel comfortable, they don't feel safe being at a Thanksgiving with me Where do they find out what you did at the baseball game? I have many family members that are regular listeners to the show I wonder if my daughter knows She is not a regular listener to the show, thankfully And I don't know if that's a story I've ever told around her It might be just as well that she doesn't know that But, yeah, the problem right now for my family is everyone except me and a couple of other people have whatever this virus is that's going around that's making everyone so sick. And it's not COVID. It's something else. And my mom has it. My mom had like 102 fever last night. My brother-in-law has had it. I think both of my nieces at some point had it. It's just been going around and it was just one of these things where everyone was either had like had just been sick or was actively sick or was worried they were going to be sick. So we were getting down to like only having like me and Addie and my sister Liz and her kids there. And then I realized also I have this shoot on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. That's like a big thing I can't miss. And if I go into like my mom, because she loves Thanksgiving so much and loves hanging out with her her children, she would happily just like have my dad wheel her up to the table, you know, in some kind of a cot and just lie there coughing and spreading germs. Like if my mom it would be up to my mom, we would all be at their house tomorrow. But I was like, that also seems like a bad idea for me if I'm trying to not get sick. So we just ended up calling it as a family that we're just not going to we're not going to all get together at my folks house this week, which is a real bummer. Addie and I are going to Zoom tomorrow for the Macy's parade so we can roast Al Roker because that is our main tradition. But, yeah, we'll not be we'll not be going to the, as Dave Ross would say, the Burbank Ancestral Estate this week.

Yeah, that's a bummer. I'm sorry about that. Although I will say is maybe as a more practical person, somebody who doesn't, you know, who isn't in your actual shoes. When you were telling me earlier yesterday in the day, just you and I chatting that there was this cold or whatever this illness is going around and knowing what a packed schedule you have professionally next week and that if you if you ended up getting sick, you know, and again, we're not we're not talking about COVID here. But either way, even if you just were sick and contagious, like it would it would have scotched a lot of things for you. And by the way, I'm not talking selfishly. These aren't these aren't things that affect TVTL. But just out of your own well-being, I was like, you know, this might be one of those things where if it doesn't happen, that'll be a real blessing in disguise for you. Because skipping one Thanksgiving and then having the story about it and then, you know, enjoying the fact that you can get together next year, hopefully, and it may be all the sweeter might be better than letting a sort of like, you know, kind of half the usual people are able to make it. And some of those are sniffling or whatever. Like this might just be a blessing in disguise if you can look at it that way.

I am, you know, also just the fact that I get to actually just be home now for a few days is kind of a huge relief. Mm hmm. I mean, it is a bummer because this is the high holiday for my family. Like we're not I mean, we get into Christmas, but it's not the kind of thing where we all get together on like December 25th or something. If you marry into our family or if you are dating somebody in our family or whatever, you are usually advised that Thanksgiving is a non-negotiable. Like I have never shared a Thanksgiving day, the full day with anyone that I've been married to that I can remember. because they were always going to their families for Thanksgiving, and I was always going to my families. And Christmas is a whole other thing. I don't think I've ever done Christmas Day at my parents' house in my adulthood. So Thanksgiving is a huge deal for us, so it's kind of a bummer, but I just don't think there's any way around it this year. Of course, my mom woke up this morning, and her fever broke. And I know my mom. She is so regretting that she told us she was sick.

Oh, because I always forget what fever breaks. It means that she's kind of hitting the end of the cycle there.

the fever is over she does not have a fever any longer and again i know my mom and i'm sure she's going like that's what i get for being honest because everybody was kind of chiming in on hawk squad i mean she kind of couldn't lie about it because my dad was the one taking care of her and my dad is a boy scout yeah so if like if my mom lived alone i swear to god she would have never told us that she was under the weather she would have just like she would have propped herself up like charlton heston and el sid and just like her dead body would have rode in on a horse to thanksgiving being like uh has anyone tried the yams like she under no circumstances would have wanted to tell us that she was not feeling well is that's what i get for being honest part of your family logo or at least your personal logo yeah it's latin

well that is a bummer i'm sorry about that what i get for i'm seeing it um let's see what the latin is for that's what i get for being honest uh i don't think the i don't think that uh let's see i don't think anyone said that ever yeah probably not i mean in the days when they spoke latin mm-hmm yeah let's see in vino veritas meaning in wine there is truth i guess that's the closest you'll get to that's what i get for being honest huh that's not satisfying at all but heidi will tell us heidi will and i'm sure it's some kind of it's some weird thing where the v's are said like a w or whatever or they're upside down it's on our shield nice it's weird like you know becca is uh i won't give her last name but she's from she has a scottish last name and it's it's like a it's like a legit thing in scotland her family so they have like there's a crest and i think there's a shield and her parents were visiting scotland once and depending on what part of scotland they were in people would be like oh you're that last name or they'd be like oh you're that last name and it was like the part of scotland her family had conquered was not keen on the name but the other part was like yeah that's cool we like you on the other hand my

family's never conquered anything so including our fear of heights and and water in some cases i have i have family members is that family wide i thought that was just you not a fear of water but height well i assume it kind of comes from my grandma my grandma walsh my dad's mom was a very timid person who would not go on what she would call rolly coasters now i mean who's you know Like, who's 80-year-old grandma is going on roller coasters? I'm sort of with her on that.

I'm not a big roller coaster person myself.

Right. I just sort of feel like there was maybe, like, I feel like, and I could be wrong about this, and some family members may hear this, but I sort of feel that, like, my dad, who has a lot of brothers and sisters, I feel like a lot of his sisters maybe specifically had, like, phobias regarding, like, swimming. I don't think it's a fear of sharks the way you have it, but just generally a fear of sort of swimming in open water.

They weren't afraid of those Cuyahoga sharks.

Those Cuyahoga clams are nipping at your toes. And I sort of feel like, and I feel like heights is probably part of that too. That's where I assume I get that. I was at a concert with Genevieve recently. We were way up in like the, we were way up in the, you know, kind of one of the high balconies. Not even the highest balcony though. And it was, you know, kind of, it always feels so steep to me when you come through like the curtain of your section or whatever it is. And you look down like, ah, man, do I feel that. like I feel that in my legs I'm just like whoa even though there's like there's literally no way I could fall you know what I mean I'm in the back of the section right but like we were sitting down and like every time I would look at the ceiling and look at like all of the um lighting rigs up there and like the acoustic baffling and I would just well it would baffle me I would look up and I'd start thinking like who hung that stuff and my whole body would have a reaction to it at one point I even said to Veeves and this was not a good move because now she doesn't want to kiss me anymore but i said we're talking about it and she's like wow your fear of heights is getting worse huh and i opened up my hand and i said just feel the palm of my hand and she was like ew like i my body was just like by staring up at the ceiling my body was involuntarily like first i don't know why sweaty hands would be something why would your body how is that

rewarded by evolution i feel like we've talked about this before whose hands were extra slippery how did they procreate more than people with the dry hands i mean it may well i mean it makes no

yeah exactly because you're like okay my body is saying you're in a position where you're way up high even if it doesn't make sense you might fall here let me help i'm gonna leave your hands for you exactly so yeah that's weird that it's getting it's getting worse with uh what was the show do you mind can you oh it was we went to um we went to see uh the arcade fire show last night oh wow

that that yeah that's um i've been seeing a lot of pictures on instagram from that yeah it ended

It ended up being I was like these got the tickets a long time ago and then there was kind of a scandal with the singer and some and some of the openers dropped out and then we were very much on the fence about whether or not we wanted to go but Genevieve tried to sell the tickets and she couldn't and so we're like we're both like very much like okay whatever like Genevieve was more into it than than I was at least initially because we I like no two Arcade Fire albums. So I haven't listened to either in like 15 years or something or 10, I guess. And and I like those records, but I just never like I, you know, aside from the lead singer, the male lead singer, like I can't even name anybody else in the band. Like, it's just not a band that I'm like super, super into. But I was also like, OK, well, whatever. We're not doing anything else. And so we went to the show and it started off like, OK, yeah, this is fine. This is fine. This is fine. And boy, did it end strong. By the end, I would like.

their encore was quite so good yes and they ended with and i don't know if this i feel like this was sort of a meta statement based on the the issues that win butler the lead singer um has been kind of well the issues or the accusations against him but they ended with uh nirvana's all apologies um whoa and and i feel like that was kind of a tribute to to kirko bane here in seattle um i don't think he's doing that in all of the shows i mean there there were just like moments of the show even leading up to this part was like i don't know this song but it was almost disco-y it was almost lcd sound system-y at times um where uh i don't again i don't know their names because i don't know much about the band but like a woman regime i believe is that her name amazing other singer just so she is so incredible amazing i mean it's rare that i go to a show like this and And I'm like, oh, I would now want to look up this playlist and retroactively like check out these records or at least these songs I'm hearing tonight. They did some really great stuff. And again, it was like a real slow burn. It started off with like, OK, like whatever, somewhat reticent. And then just like slowly sucked us in. And then this encore. Then they go from All Apologies. All Apologies. That's how I talk now. And then that just kind of went into whatever their most popular neighborhood number blank song. I don't know what it is whatever and then and then that it ends it there but actually I was going to say this before so that's the show we were at and that was last night which is why I'm a little bit scrambled today I didn't get tons of sleep last night but um boy you want to talk about the difference in stadium experiences it's pretty rare that I go to an arena rock show anyway right climate pledge it was and I hate calling it that because I think it's such a canard but um yeah so i i had not been to this you know this ice and basketball arena since they uh since amazon bought it and named it climate pledge and totally renovated it it was my first time there have you been there since the big renovation no i have not actually it was i mean i think that first of all going in there and again this is a this is a brand new arena that serves a lot of different functions right but it felt like it just all had this like in this um it felt like going into a bank or something like everything was new and clean and like they had some sort of a chicken fast food place there but like nothing not that you need grime for things to be like a good rock and roll experience but it felt like we were in a conference center sort of and you know it is what it is a new place I was like okay and we watched the show and then after the show Luke and like this was a rousing ending of the show it was i mean i was really kind of moved by the end of this in a way that i was surprised it ended up it ended up being like the the encore ended up

being one of my favorite concert moments of recent history um and then i go and i use the men's room before we catch a bus back home and um it was as quiet as a mouse in the men's room and it was like being in a bank again like it was like a very clean restroom which was nice if you needed like to use the stall or something that would be a great place to do it as opposed to like you say being scared to use a toilet at a concert you know what I mean were you able to get more than one square of toilet paper if you were to need it you certainly were um so that stuff is is you know it's nice I'm not complaining here but there was something so Seattle and so Amazon-y about it and I don't know it was just like we had just gotten out of this rock and roll show I mean it was literally a rock and roll show and Luke I don't even mean that people were whispering in the bathroom i mean and hey listen i wasn't going in there whooping it up either high-fiving people and starting a seahawks chant or something like i don't know what i wanted but it was just such a surreal experience it felt like we had all gotten out of a out of like some sort of like conference breakout session about handling tough topics in the news it was so are you guys going

to the plenary session what does that mean plenary i think that might be the set the part of the conference where maybe they tell you all the things that are happening at the conference there's always something called the plenary um let me just google it is it possible that age a plenary session or a plenum is a session of a conference which all members of all parties are to attend i guess so that's the the one that everybody goes to is the plenary session um is it possible that everyone at that concert was of a certain age because it's arcade fire yeah i And your quietness in the bathroom was echoed by the other people's quietness because everyone was just like 45 and thinking about, am I going to get enough sleep before I have to Zoom in tomorrow morning for work?

I mean, maybe. I mean, yes. I mean, I would say that a lot of people there were my age, but I saw a lot of young people there, too. That was the other strange thing. And again, it sounds like I'm. I don't think I'm complaining here. It was a fine concert going experience, but it just seems so surreal because there actually were a lot of young people around us too. And, and, you know, and the seats are pretty comfortable and there's arena seats, you know? So like I said, they're kind of stacked kind of tall. And, but they're all compostable, right? Yes, exactly. Arena. And so some of the people around us would get up and start dancing some little bit more wildly than others. But then I noticed that the people around me started sort of disappearing And that was scary And then this is when I realized there was a rapture going on Oh my god, this is the leftovers And I pointed to the seats in front of us And I said, Aviv, did everybody leave? And she said no And she kind of gestured to our right And I kind of looked to our right Where there was like a little section Like not a very big section that is kind of cut out Where there aren't seats Again, we're on like the kind of the We're pretty high up But it's only the second balcony level and there's a little part of the balcony where there's a handrail and no seats and that and you looked over and it was just like that is the dancing section and like people had gone over to the dancing section to get their dance on there was something like it was almost like remember we were talking about like back in the early 2000s like there would be like protest sections

like yes exactly there was a protest box i believe that they would have at like the republican national convention and things like that and you were allowed to protest within the box within the

free speech area please go to the free speech area yes exactly it was sort of and again people were enjoying it and they were dancing and i was comfortable and there was nothing there was nothing about it that was unpleasant but it just all felt so sterilized and strange it was a long

way from the uh what was the was the punk rock place you would go to in cleveland oh god in kent

The one that had Like a half literally I think it had Climate destruction arena No not the Mantis that was a different Place ah now I'm freaking out There's yeah this tiny little hole in the wall Bring your own I'd say booze But it's probably bring your own whatever you can get Your hands on little punk club that Was like honestly the most disgusting place I ever hung out it wasn't that place wasn't The Mantis I'm confusing with someplace Else but yeah we should go

To the break but very quickly I have an arcade fire story which is the arcade fire is when i learned the arcade fire is the band first of all that led to the sigurose interview that i did in new york that went so badly and also it was when i learned that music pr people have absolutely zero morals peace and love to our listeners who work in the music pr business but i'd always worked in news and what happens in news is when you're booking someone let's say i was trying to book the governor of california gray davis is their people say no no no no no up until they can say yes so it's like sorry the governor's not available and then one day i get a call from the pr person and they say the governor can do it for one hour on this day i didn't realize until i got to new york and i started doing the bryant park project that music publicity works in the exact opposite fashion they go yeah like right now i could call jay-z's management and ask if he could be on tbtl and they would go yes they would be like yeah sure absolutely or okay we'll ask like they don't they never say no but then what happened with the arcade fire was there at the time their pr company was nasty little man which was actually a subsidiary of the beastie boys um because of course that record hello nasty was because their their offices were called nasty little man records and they had an uh a front desk person who would answer the phone hello nasty and anyway they were they handled both cigar roast and arcade fire and basically the pr person said you can have the arcade fire but you have to have cigar ross on and so we did we had cigar ross on on like a thursday and the plan on the monday was the arcade fire was gonna busk in bryant park and we were gonna film it win rosenfeld hollywood power player win rosenfeld we were gonna set up cameras in the bushes and we were gonna have the arcade fire busk and see if anyone realized who it was oh that's fun right it was a cool idea everybody signed off on it we had a crew ready to go and then we get in monday morning and they the pr people go oh sorry they actually flew back to canada last night they just decided they didn't want to stick around new york for an extra day and that was when i realized music publicity people

are not to be trusted and that when you had already done the cigar rose thing which ended up we had

already done the disaster of a cigar rose conversation as a quid pro quo they had gotten what they wanted i'm sure it's some it was some 23 year old person in new york who you know was just like themselves trying to keep their head above water and being like, you know, I don't know. I don't know if it was malice there or if they knew that they were never going to deliver the Arcade Fire, but it felt like nobody had actually mentioned it to the Arcade Fire that we needed them to be. in new york city monday morning at 7 a.m to do a bit because that morning we just had a message

oh sorry yeah they flew back to canada last night you're right and that could have been also they just saw it on the schedule too like who knows if they even actually flew back or not you know like

yeah that's actually a good point i i was they didn't have flight aware at that point so i wasn't able to check the flights back to montreal but i was just like i was so devastated because i was such a huge arcade fire fan at the time and we had done this other thing as a complete like we'll do this so that we can get this other thing i had in my mind this was going to like really make the show like this was going to be our breakout moment and then it was just kind of like a message from a person who couldn't have been less invested in the process being like oh yeah

sorry actually they went back to canada so was that i don't think i ever knew the part of the story where the cigar roast interview was part of a kind of a negotiation like that that probably put you in a certain mood going and knowing you um i feel like that probably put you into a certain

mood going into that interview too well the thing was i loved sigur roast as well and i made the argument it didn't feel like it wasn't like i had to interview um creed or something it was like i loved sigur roast and so i remember making a pitch to the to the staff saying i know a lot of you haven't heard of this band but here's the thing the guy sings in a made-up language and then everyone's like okay that's interesting and then of course when i got to that question he just said it's bullshit that was the entirety of his response to what i thought was the best question

of the interview how did you find that tape so quickly on the fly did you know we were going to

be talking about this that's my ringo star impression good job star and john z from sigaro's they have a very similar speaking voice okay uh we got to take a break here it's 47 minutes into the show um so let's do that and then when we come back um i'll tell you about my other big media adventure that is so far getting no play on Netflix. Coming up in a moment. Hey, let's thank some Daily Donors. These wonderful generous folks are keeping the show going with their support. Folks like Chris Borgia over there in Seattle, Washington. And I wonder if Chris Borgia was at that show with you, Andrew. Probably. I wonder if he was in the dancing box. In the dancing section. The dancing cage. Yes.

Dancing cage. That's where you dance in the dancing cage.

That's pretty good. That was also my Ringo Starr impression. Pretty good. Sorry, I was trying to sneak in a sip of my coffee there. Oh, okay. I figured you were going to either email the Grammys or do something involving my singing.

Yeah, sorry, I didn't give you a lot

Reach out to, I don't know Super producer Butch Vig or something

I didn't know how to react to Dancing Cage To the new Dancing Cage song I'll be honest with you, I was caught somewhat flat-footed

Yeah, sure That's the mark of good art You don't always understand it at first But the more time you spend with it It starts to reveal itself to you, Andrew

Well, you know what it was, Luke? I didn't want to step on it

I wanted to let it breathe, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's the kind of thing that you really have to let it Kind of air out. I'd say leave it outside for a couple days. Bring it back in. See if that was where the smell was coming from. Blame the dog. Zorba! Rebecca Singer is also helping out with a donation. Rebecca is in Brooklyn, New York. Thanks, Rebecca. Also, Connor Wells is in Vancouver, Washington. Just around the river bend from where I am right now. Vancouver, Washington, I'll tell you They have redone the waterfront Along the Columbia River there And it is absolutely splendid Nice place to have breakfast Sure, I think I don't know, I don't really eat breakfast I haven't really been there for that, but I betcha I mean, I think of it more as where the clubs are I like to be out in da club That's where I usually do my clubbing

I did not have a chance I had a very busy day yesterday And then we had some family come into town And suddenly I realized it was 4 45 at night I had drinking about a pot of coffee throughout the day and had eaten absolutely nothing which I know is kind of that's your deal a lot of the times that's not how I live my life and then I had some errands to run and I'm like okay well I was kind of on my own for grabbing something to eat so I stopped at that place I think I've told you about before the 125th Street Grill which is going to be going away pretty soon it's like right on Aurora

Oscar from the Mandarin Gate

works or worked for many years that's so funny because boy north seattle man i'm sitting there basically i go down i go into the little bar area and i sit at the bar and i order a prime rib dip and oh my god that thing it was just like i was so unbelievably hungry

that I devoured it. I think it was cut in half, and I think I probably dedicated three bites to each half. I think I ate that sandwich in six bites total. And then I texted our friend group about something unrelated and mentioned that I'm eating a prime rib dip. That was a whole thing. Oh, that's going to light up. Oh, my God. That's going to light up that text chain. So many questions.

Between Anita and Kevin, that's a major topic.

and katie who has her own kind of um struggles with certain meat products and so like everybody's like how how literally how salty is the au jus uh how is the meat all this stuff and i'm answering all these questions and also somebody on the text chain says hey ask your server if she's the one we ran into at um the man the mandarin gate yeah the mandarin gate so maybe that's a place where a

lot of people i believe that's their after hours the folks that get off work at that place you were at i'll toddle down to the gate yes the gate doesn't have any karaoke or bar service at night

now which is a shame i'm sorry i said mandarin gate i didn't mean that uh it's the other one what's the place that is seven hour uh seven days a week karaoke um up on the rickshaw and so somebody said hey ask your ask your server if she's the one i ran into at the rickshaw and so i'm like passing this along to her she's like well maybe i'm at the rickshaw these days of the week And then the guy next to me kind of got into the conversation Something about the Pinehurst Pub And I'm just like, man, North Seattle, man It is just like, it is a community in and of itself Especially, and I'm not a big karaoke person at all I'm not a karaoke person, but my friends are And I study them And just like, it is amazing how everybody is just running into each other At the same kind of divey places

Well, there's a guy, and I forget his name But he used to do this circuit of those places On a given night And he would show up at each one It would be like He would do the gate The rickshaw He'd pop down to the baron off And he would do this whole loop And he would sing Turn Your Love Around By I think James Ingram maybe And he's always doing that song

You think he's doing that song Multiple times a night At different locations Yes

He's so good at it So good at it And he would He told us one time He had I think he was like He worked at Boeing And then he retired And in his retirement he would just at night he would just go do this loop of these places get in line sing turn your love around and then go to the next place and sing it and he was just a legend and everybody

at all of those places knew him wow that's funny yeah and that's kind of the like everybody's just kind of like they're like little atoms bouncing in and off of each other in the karaoke bars around around george benson by the way sorry is turn your love around oh okay what did you sorry to

all the benson heads out there who are throwing their phone you know who's fine with me messing up who sings the song turn your love around one stephanie martinez in los angeles california why else would stephanie be supporting the show where i get so many things wrong if she didn't enjoy it thank you stephanie also greg and jackie walter are in kodiak alaska wow when's the last time we

had someone check in from uh from alaska i feel like it's been a long time this might be our first alaska thank you of the year i'm looking at this now i can do a search for ak i don't know if you

know this but ak stands for alaska i think there's a alaska and the last frontier that their state motto that's the state nickname the last frontier yeah this is our definitely our first alaska of the year thank you so much greg and jackie also thanks to rochelle mortvit over there in bremerton Washington. Rochelle, I would be passing right through your town. Were I going to visit my folks there in Silverdale? Were they not on their last legs, as it were, with this illness? But thank you, Rochelle, for supporting the show. Thanks to everybody today for making TBTL possible. We just absolutely could not do this without you. hello and welcome to top story um there is a new netflix uh documentary series that is getting a lot of attention uh called uh drink pepsi get a jet i think oh pepsi where's my jet is the name of this docuseries and it's actually a very interesting story i feel like i must have mentioned this on the show before andrew but back in the um mid-1990s a guy from seattle basically uh sued pepsi to give him a harrier jet because of this commercial that was basically showing you all the things you could get with pepsi points so it's just like cool kid and he's just going through his day he's got a leather jacket and it says leather jacket 1450 pepsi points and then he you know gets this other thing everything he's interacting with on this day they're showing you how many pepsi points you need to

collect to get that thing and then at the end he gets into a jet and it says harrier jet seven million pepsi points and this guy named john leonard realized that you could buy uh pepsi points all you had to do was actually get 15 pepsi points like go buy one six pack of pepsi and get 15 points and as long as you had 15 pepsi points that you had gotten through the normal means you were then allowed to buy as many pepsi points as you wanted and he did the math and figured out that for seven hundred thousand dollars he could buy seven million pepsi points and he did he got investors and he who he met when he was a mountain guide i believe in alaska and he got them to invest seven hundred thousand dollars and sent the check in to pepsi to get his jet seven hundred

thousand dollars yeah they clearly this is a joke right in the commercial but by having it in the commercial that's legally they have to deliver on that that seems shocking to me well i is it a

spoiler i mean this is a very old story am i spoiling it if i tell you kind of what actually

happened eventually uh you know it's funny i'm the one who's usually really really um delicate around spoilers i don't personally care in this point in in this case because i'm probably not going to watch it and if i do it's real life but maybe we've given enough warning now that you're going to go ahead and spoil the end of this real life story that is being um told in a docuseries so maybe folks who are concerned can fast forward by about a minute or two he ended up ultimately

losing the case uh they sent a letter to pepsi uh asking for the jet pepsi responded saying this was a joke you dummy and it's not real and then his lawyers came back and i believe they sued and ended up going to in front of a judge and the judge said basically you don't have a contract with a tv commercial because for one thing contracts have to be signed by both parties so there's no way that you signed a contract with pepsi when they showed seven million points and then also the judge said no reasonable person would assume that this was an actual offer of

having a jet yes that's kind of what i figured but that's why it's confused so it's not like he realized oh for seven hundred dollars i can buy enough of these things and get a and get a jet it's seven hundred thousand dollars and like you said so he had to get investors so he had to convince a bunch of people that like hey listen this is obviously going to go to court so we're going to need to raise legal fees as well like who are the people who went on who who jumped on this because then what was their plan then these investors would get some rides on the harrier jet Or they were going to flip it and sell it And make more money I just don't understand how you get Like I can see one kook taking a flyer at this I keep on saying taking a flyer when I'm talking about airplanes Which I kind of appreciate It's taking a fusillage Yeah, but I don't understand how you get investors On board I think he had like one guy actually

I think one rich dude Who was also just equally kooky And the idea was maybe they could rent it out to air shows I mean the thing was a harrier jet is worth 33 million dollars at the time so there we just like we can get something that's worth 33 million dollars for only 700 000 and whatever they did with it or would do with it it was like we're gonna get this very valuable thing by by um exploiting this loophole yeah um the the reason that i was particularly interested in it was because i did an interview with this guy in the red robin at northgate back when it used to be on the other side of the mall for marketplace and i was watching i mean i guess there was a lot of coverage of this so why would they go with a radio story by like a squeaky voiced 20 year old but i i it was a big get for me it was a big coup actually because there was one little write-up in like i don't know the everett herald or something there was a small little local news item about this person and i like tracked him down got him to come sit at the restaurant with me and do an interview and i did a piece for marketplace it was one of the first pieces i ever did for them and for some reason i sort of half expected them to either cite my reporting or play a clip of me and that did not

happen so tell me about your interview with him i mean what was his state of mind um he was uh he

seemed pretty nice he at the time this had not gone to court yet this was the very early stages of this and so he i think seemed pretty confident that he was going to get his jet um now i haven't watch the whole documentary it's multiple episodes i don't know if they get more into his state of mind like i think he's on the record as saying he was smart enough to say i want the jet as opposed to i want them to settle with me or i just want to prove some point like i think he realized it was a more sympathetic standpoint just be like hey i just want this jet that they said they were going to give me for seven million pepsi points here's seven million pepsi points so i don't remember him saying you know like well i don't care if i get the jet as long as they just settle with me I don't I don't

know if it was a financial play in that way or not but uh yeah he ultimately did not get the jet um as was pointed out he would also have no ability to fly it it's like a very complicated

piece of machinery yeah i was gonna say also because it's a piece of machinery that you would assume is you know strictly the purview of the military what would be the legal you know i mean are there i mean i guess there are private entities and private families or whatever that own Collectible jets That are maybe military style jets I just can't imagine even legally From that standpoint why it would be legal For a civilian To own a war machine

Right yeah I don't Where do you park it Well that's the other thing too You know that's an issue because you can only have it on the street In Seattle for like 24 hours

And then in Minnesota there's the snow days You gotta in the street cleaning Put some chairs out probably to kind of reserve your spot Once you shovel it

Kind of a deal It is a pretty Interesting documentary Though so far So I would actually Recommend it It's good And if anybody You know If you see them Mentioning me in there Will you let me know Because I feel I really do feel like Passed over by history I think I was literally One of the first people To report on this story

Really

I feel Slightly ripped off But also still Pretty intrigued They're doing a much Better job With telling the story Than I did In my little Two minutes on the Marketplace morning report Or whatever

What is the streamer again? Do we know? The streamer? Netflix. It's Netflix. Okay, gotcha.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

All right-ly.

An email or V-mail before we get out of here? Yeah, I have a voicemail for you here. You're talking about confrontation. You weren't really talking about it. I was thinking about it. But I was thinking about it. I was thinking about confrontations with neighbors over where to park this jet, you know, and whether or not you're parking it too close to the neighbor's driveway, if they can get out, if you're taking up more than one parking spot, etc. And it reminded me of garbage anxiety, like I used to have in my old apartment.

How do you even leave a note on a Harrier jet?

We probably need a ladder to get up to the windshield. Is there a windshield wiper that you can even secure it under? Do you have to use tape? And what if it rains? Anyway, of course, I used to talk about issues with people using my garbage can, like throwing their dog poo in my newly emptied garbage can on the street and having to live with dog poo for a week was a real pet peeve of mine in my old location. And that led to this voicemail from Elizabeth.

Hi, this is listener Elizabeth in Bellingham, Washington, and I have a garbage story a little bit. It just happened, so I am a little bit amped. I didn't think I was, and then I called, and I am.

Only our listeners, Andrew.

I live in Belly Camp, Washington.

Yeah, are like vibrating off of a garbage run-in, thanks to you. Yeah, well, I'm still coming down off of this garbage situation.

I find this very relatable.

A little bit. It just happened, so I am a little bit amped. I didn't think I was, and then I called, and I am. I live in Belly Camp, Washington. I live right across the street from a middle school. And Tuesday mornings is my garbage morning, so I have my trash out by the curb, and they usually come, like, first thing in the morning. So usually by 8 a.m. when I'm getting ready to leave, the bins have been picked up, and I wheel my bin behind my apartment. And this morning, there's a bunch of middle schoolers standing around my trash can, and, like, with Starbucks garbage. And I asked them as I was walking up, I went, hey, has the city already been by and emptied that? is that like an empty trash bin? And they were like, oh yeah. And I went, okay, cool. Then can we not throw our trash in there? Because my trash can only gets picked up every two weeks and the school gets taken care of daily. And they just all turned beet red. And I feel really bad. I think I embarrassed some of them, but like, please don't throw your trash in my trash bin. Thanks. We're right across the street from a school with a dumpster. Please just go there. I know you all go to school there but anyway that's my garbage story and i just garbage confrontation story i

guess anyway um that's all power out bye dummies this is this is what i find i don't think elizabeth

would have called us dummies except for the fact that she was still her body was coursing with

adrenaline right exactly here's what i find especially relatable about that like i think that elizabeth's request is not um is not absurd by any stretch of the imagination but i could be wrong about this i could be painting elizabeth in a light that is not accurate but like for me personally i have trouble asking for things especially from strangers especially from youth probably and so i think it's reasonable to say hey you know what would you mind my garbage can was just empty I'm sorry.

And I can't have it fill up too quickly Could you guys use the school trash That's a fine thing to say But people like me Get so in our heads About making that confrontation That your adrenaline Is already pumping too much Even if you don't realize it Your heart's already beating too fast And you come off as more aggro Why do I say aggro? Just say aggressive It's one more syllable Am I saving time here? You come off as way more aggressive Than you mean to

I don't mean to sound critical because you never say aggro, but I've always hated aggro because it's not aggro-sive. It's aggressive. It's always been weird to me that it gets shortened to aggro because it does not represent the actual letters in the word.

Well, the one that you always bring up that I think I have a slightly different solution to but that I can't get out of my head, I'd never heard it or seen it before you brought it up, but the BOGO for buy one, get one. First of all, it's not buy one, get one. It's buy one, get one free. It should be Bogoff. Right, so it's Bogoff. Yeah, it should be Bogoff. And you had a different solution to it, though, I think, right? Because you're buy one, get one. You think it should be buy one, get two. Right.

Right, because you're buying one, but you're getting two. So if you buy one, get one, then you just have the one that you bought.

But I think it should be buy one, get one free. That's what I always heard. So yours should be bogged. It should be bogged. Right, which I think that's a character on Star Trek, The Next Generation, or no?

Definitely. And by the way, Bogoff definitely sounds like somebody who ran a savings and loan scandal in the 80s. Jerry Bogoff did four years in a minimum security prison for the SNL scandal of 1986.

I was thinking, yeah, or Bogoff sounds like maybe one of the Russian villains in the Rocky and Bullwinkle show potentially as well.

Totally. Natasha and Bogoff.

Yeah, exactly.

I it's funny that you that you describe it that way about kind of what happens for you in terms of like adrenaline and kind of getting amped for a confrontation because I have the exact opposite experience I don't even realize I'm furious until I'm just saying some shit like I'm just kind of like I'm whatever I'm living my life a kid's throwing some stuff in my garbage can and I'm not even thinking about And then all of a sudden, I'm like, they have the cell phones out and they're videotaping me like berating the kid because I've done no like lead up to it. I haven't been like thinking about it as I walk out of the house. I haven't been getting ready. It just goes from I'm not mad to I'm furious for some I'm coursing with rage.

Huh. That's funny. I kind of having some having some trouble picturing that based on the stories that I just have a bad temper.

And a lot of times with a bad temper, I'm just, I'm doing something and I don't even, I'm not even, I'm not like, I feel like with you, there's a slightly slower build. Like you observe something, you don't, maybe you're not liking it. You're thinking through different ways to respond. There's kind of a, there's a process maybe in your mind. My mind skips right through all of the steps of that process. And it just goes from like, I'm not bothered to, I will fight you in this parking lot, which is not good at all. I've also noticed that I'm starting to side with middle-aged guys who are yelling at teenagers about playing their music too loud and or driving their, you know, car too fast down a street. Like, there's a lot of videos on TikTok where, like, high school-age kids will be videotaping some guy about my age who's, like, freaking out. And the guy looks really foolish because he's, like, threatening to fight some, like, high school juniors. And the kids are always just kind of mocking him And the whole thing is played for a joke On the middle age guy But I've started to become like Yeah but were they actually driving too fast down that street Like I'm starting to actually identify with the guy Who's the point of it is to make fun of him And I'm like yeah but you know I'd be pretty mad if they drove down My street too fast

People driving too fast down residential streets Or not even necessarily residential Like sometimes you know on Northgate Way I'll be trying to turn into traffic Or something and somebody will just like fly by like going 50 55 miles an hour on a surface street I mean just like maybe maybe not 55 45 50 like just tearing through and I don't think this I think this is totally linked to age not recent home ownership or feeling um like a connection to my community because I felt that coming on more and more over the past like five years of me having this instinct of wanting to put up my arms and do the slow down motion like picture maybe like a quarterback in a football game telling the crowd to hush a little bit or maybe picture one of the um one of the guys named jerry at your old marina if somebody's driving their boat and it says no wake they might raise their hands and be like slow down i have to fight the urge to do that on an almost daily basis now as i'm walking somewhere and some car just like screams around

me i was on a jog uh a few months ago and i was in this neighborhood near me called irvington which

Thank you.

is actually a very beautiful neighborhood of old stately homes and i was uh these kids were it was like around the time when uh high schoolers are going to school and this group of i don't know three or four young boys i mean they look to be maybe like juniors or seniors just cruised right through a stop sign because the kid driving was on his phone like was looking at his phone while he was driving and it almost i didn't actually get hit it just i had to stop and i shouldn't have because they had the stop sign i didn't and his friend was in the passenger seat was kind of looking at me and laughing kind of like just thinking it was funny the whole thing and i swear if that car would have stopped i would have beaten the living shit out of all of those kids good thing it did or it uh so i i'm this is why i'm starting to side with old man yells it yeah yells at children because there's particularly in the vehicle space there's something about a car driving by too fast that i think makes us feel unsafe and then creates a real kind of like fight or flight response yeah for me it's also like a really loud noise like if if somebody Goes by on a motorcycle that's just Crazily loud And I know I'm not expecting it That creates a real kind of Anger response in me I think it's out of fear You know what I mean like I feel startled and then My next thing is like I'm gonna fight this Animal that tried to kill me or something

That motorcycle that We heard and I've tried to Oh my god that was insane

We were getting the Delica

Yeah and people think that I was just Loud motorcycle noise really doesn't bother me that much Unless it's like constant or something I lived in an apartment one time where somebody would every Saturday morning turn on his motorcycle, turn on, start up his motorcycle and he would turn your cycle on. He would log into his motorcycle and just like tinker with the motorcycle enthusiast has logged on. Yeah. But he would just have it like he would have it like sort of idling for like literally an hour while he would mess around with it. And then he would like kind of throttle it every now and then. And I'm sure he enjoyed his Saturday mornings with his motorcycle, which from his perspective sounds really nice to me. But it was also like right on the other side of a fence of this apartment building I lived in. And so he was just I don't know if he was driving everybody as crazy as he was driving me. But anyway, for the most part, loud motorcycles don't bother me. But and I know I've gotten razzed by some friends who heard me talking about this on the show last time. that motorcycle that was racing back and forth at your old apartment building when you and i were in the parking garage trying to get stuff ready for one of our big no what we were trying to do i

believe is change the tire on the car of a travel nurse who had a flat tire yeah i remember that

set up to an adult film that's a real thing that happened yeah i remember that i can't pay you to change this tire but there was just a screaming loud motorcycle that then was i mean they were They had done something to this motorcycle to make it loud as hell, and then it was reverberating around this garage we were in, like this multi-story parking garage, right? And I remember, like, running to it. It was so loud, it sounded like war. Like, it sounded like war. I don't understand. And I promise you, I'm not. You are very sensitive to that. I promise you, I'm not that sensitive to it. In fact, sometimes I kind of like it. It reminds me of my youth or something. But, like, this sounded like hell from above. It was bananas.

It's difficult to overstate how loud it was. And it, in fact, was like, it seemed like there's no way the engine on one motorcycle could have made something this loud. Like, it seemed to defy the laws of physics and sound waves. Like, it was almost like you figured out how to create, like, nuclear, sorry, nuclear.

I could tell if you were doing that as a joke or not.

No, I just lost my concentration for a moment. But it's like you had created sort of like cold fusion or something like you had figured out how to make something that created like more energy than was possible in a confined system or something. You know what I mean? Like I could not believe how loud we couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It seemed like it was coming from everywhere.

I felt like it was coming from inside me and outside me at the same time. I felt like I was like some character in the Watchmen where light was exploding out of me in this in the shape of sound somehow.

It was truly one of the loudest things I've ever heard. And it was just coming out of one motorcycle that they were racing back and forth in this one area.

Look, when I finally got eyes on it, it looked like one guy was showing another guy his motorcycle. I don't know if he was selling it or what it was, but they kept ripping it down this little this little kind of alley. I guess it wasn't an alley, but this little street next to the thing.

Oh, I believe that's one of the sketchier blocks in Portland. It's where the skate... park is which is a really cool thing that the they just skaters built this burnside skate park and the city of portland just let them leave it there and it's you know it's a kind of a cool local hang for people but it's also unfortunately a real attractive sort of uh nuisance in that you just get all kinds of folks showing up for all kinds of different purposes there a lot of it not skateboarding related including driving the world's loudest motorcycle yeah that was

that was bananas but anyway yeah so um to summarize we are old yes we are old and i make

no apologies andrew and if i see those kids again they better watch out um and on that note we're gonna wrap things up today on a nice little note of threatening minors i do you think i wonder if i could i wonder if i could beat up a high school senior no i mean seriously on the senior Yeah, right? I mean, these kids look pretty soft, but they're also a lot more fit than me, just by nature, just by not being as dead as I am. I don't know what my chances are.

I couldn't beat up a college freshman. I'll tell you what, 2022 Lou could certainly beat up 1995 Andrew, because I wouldn't know how to defend myself.

Okay, I'll take it. You know, a win is a win. A win is a win. As long as me now could beat up high school you, that's all I needed to hear on this Wednesday. So thank you for that. Thank you, everyone, for listening. We'll be back here tomorrow with a special Thanksgiving Day edition of the show. We will be bringing you new content for tomorrow and Friday. So do tune in for that. Until then, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

you don't have to make rude noises that's all right i don't mind power out