Muse

Oh, sweetie, you got a little Mars cocktail on your beautiful gray dress there. Can we get that for free? What? The Mars cocktail. Can we get one of those for free? Because she spilled a little bit on her dress. Sure. Great, because if you said no, I would have gone home and got on Yelp and said that I found a Lego head in my corn. I've done that to a lot of places. It works.

TBTL!

I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. now what i'm with isn't it and what's it seems weird and scary to me objection on the grounds

that i'm like what you know people think i'm fancy but i like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the mcdonald's you think you're

too cool for school but i got a newsflash for you walter cronkite you aren't well i've got to run

i can hear the blender crying coming baby all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl it's a kind of magic the show that just might be too beautiful to live my name is luke burbank i am your host carol michaels coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center right here in portland oregon where it is a very chilly december day although it's kind of beautiful outside yeah oh yeah buddy oh hey that's the stew bot our friend who helped fill in for me yesterday along with um andrew thanks to both of them i am feeling much better today and ready to get rolling with episode 3830 in a collector's series let the fun begin uh i don't know if you know who the liver king is really i'm trying to build my beef castle he is this odd character who i've been seeing on tiktok a lot over the last couple of years who is uh extremely muscular and attributes a lot of it to his workouts a but also to eating lots of organ meats i don't even know if he always cooks them or not you're a gross person but he's um been adamant adamant for years that he does not ever use steroids and then somebody found emails where he was discussing spending 11 000 a month on um on steroids lying is like 95 of what i do he is now apologized and we've got the audio of that apology from the liver king that we will play for you also speaking of apologies hertz is apologizing to a bunch of customers uh with 168 million dollars which they're having to pay out after falsely reporting a number of the rental cars had been stolen by people who had not stolen them some of them hadn't even rented a car from hurts bizarre stuff you gotta be kidding me uh so we'll talk about that plus some emails and emails and this guy the longest running co-bro of the show and some days like yesterday the main bro of the program uh he may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he's a lot of things to me but he's my pal he's my homeboy my rotten soldier he's my sweet cheese my good time boy and he's andrew walsh and he's joining me right now good morning my friend hey luke i thought

of it. I need to tread carefully here though. I told you before the show that there was something that I kind of wanted I was tempted to bring up at the beginning of the show. I woke up with a thought this morning and then right before the show I was like, oh shoot, I don't remember what that thought was. I didn't write it down It had been kind of jangling around in my brain all morning and then suddenly the show's beginning and I don't remember what I wanted to talk to you about. Now I do remember Luke and I'm worried it's going to be controversial but Um, so you ever have a thing where you think you have a good joke, but then you look it up online and it turns out a lot of people take it seriously. Um, that's what happened to me when we had a very rambunctious kitten in our house today, you know, just doing kitten things, nothing wrong.

Jokes are really difficult, I must say.

Not doing anything wrong, but just like really just like flying around the house. Can't, you know, can't stay in one place for more than a moment before he races off to do something else. He harasses me. He harasses Veeves. He harasses the other cat, like whatever. And I told Veeves, I'm like, you know what? I'm a little bit worried about bingo. I think he might have ADHD. Now, I thought it was funny because, of course, kittens would display any kind of symptoms of like not, you know, like.

They lose their keys often.

Right, exactly. They procrastinate. I'm not trying to make a joke at the expense of people with ADHD. But when you hear about some of the common symptoms, it would be ridiculous to think that a kitten would have that because that's the behavior of a kitten. Some of those symptoms. Yeah. So anyway, I look it up and I'm like, well, that's kind of funny. Like, hey, how do you treat a kitten with ADHD? And it turns out there's a whole thing online. Like, there's tons of people discussing.

whether or not kittens can have ADHD and people thinking that their kittens have ADHD. And again, I don't know if I'm treading on delicate territory here. I don't want to offend anybody, but I don't think your kitten has ADHD. I think your kitten's just a kitten, right?

I mean, based on everything I know about the stereotypes around cats and the fact that they, like in the case of Bubbles, will chase an earplug for five hours without ever sort of getting bored with it or will knock a ball of yarn around with total fascination, et cetera. I don't know if either of those things are adjacent to ADHD, but the personalities of kittens, as you said, Andrew, are basically the thing that we think of when humans have ADHD. So yeah, I think that's just being a kitten, right?

Yeah, exactly. So this went from an idea. No, no, that's okay. Are you getting canceled? No, no. I mean, I guess we'll find out when we post the show. I didn't tweet it or anything, but it was just one of those things where it's sort of like, oh, that would be sort of a funny tweet. I don't know what. I mean, I don't really tweet that much. I don't know what I was going to do with it. You're tweeting for two now. Remember that. Yeah, right.

You're carrying the TBTL brand, so really. Or just get more into deleting your tweets. If I could pass on any of my hard-earned knowledge about the Twitter space.

I know that you want to get into Dream Talk here, and I don't want to delay that. It's rare, by the way, that I'm the one pushing that. And I want you to take some bullets today. That's fine. No, but I did have a thought the other day. I mean, this totally goes against the reason why you quit Twitter. But I remembered that I had started a Twitter account a long time ago, a secret account that I told you about, but nobody knows about this account. Your burner. It has zero followers. I think I've had one interaction. Oh, that's right. Somebody liked a reply. For the most part, it's a bunch of jokes that I thought were funny that I post there, but they're just sort of weird and nobody likes them and nobody knows. It's just me yelling into a forest and nobody can hear me, right? I cannot believe he just told that joke. Whatever. I haven't posted there in a while and I saw it the other day or something. I'm like, oh, that's right. I have that Twitter account. And I thought to myself, oh, why doesn't Luke just start a burner Twitter account? not to tweet things but just to read things on twitter but i guess that's the whole point is like first of all you don't want to support it with numbers and also i think that you you were more of a you were used twitter more as a broadcaster and i use twitter more as a like news consumer i think or is that unfair well no i think it's accurate although i have actually

considered doing that because you know what's kind of funny is not getting my little attaboys from, you know, putting out a fire tweet, I miss that less than I was expecting to. It's just kind of like, it just, my brain has sort of rewired itself already to where it's like, I'm not thinking about tweeting. But what I'm missing is that it was, it's a very good news aggregator. It's a very quick way to figure out what's happening out there in the world in this way that it takes me more time to go to CNN and then go to the New York Times and then the Washington Post. And like, you know, if something is getting attention, if somebody passes away, if somebody is trending for whatever reason, it just pops up there. And so I thought about that Just creating an account And the thing is if it's a burner account And it has no followers Then this would be pure Twitter for me Trademark Uppercase TM Pure Twitter Which means I'm not there for the likes And the retweets I'm there just to kind of see what is happening in the world It would take out the incentive of tweeting for me Because no one's going to see it And no one's going to know that it's me and then so actually i'm sort of considered doing that i haven't gotten around to it but i probably will at some point that feels like a healthier relationship with twitter for me i'm getting some use out of it but it's not a thing that's driving my brain so much in terms of trying to come up with something uh to get self-esteem and by the way uh was uh i mentioned this to our sports thread on sunday i was so riled up about that seahawks game that and i was so mad at bobby Wagner sorry to get sports specific here because of everything or just that that interception that wasn't an interception well that was frustrating because I just thought that was a really bad call but just this weird like heel turn now listen he plays for another team he should be he should be you know hyped up for people that don't care about the Seahawks or whatever maybe I can frame this as more of a a human drama story you know the Seahawks had a guy named Bobby Wagner for many many many years really really good player for us seemingly good guy as well and then we didn't offer him a new contract for the amount he wanted and so he went to play for our rival the rams that was happening on sunday and the narrative very quickly became it's bobby wagner against his old nemesis and i felt like the announcers were hyping him up i also find mark sanchez to be just We'll be right back. unlistenably bad like he like there would be moments where somebody was hurt and he was laughing there was like laughter in his voice about something unrelated but you got to understand how to modulate things my brother in christ like i just thought he was really bad but anyway i'm watching the game and i'm just getting i was feeling more personally angry at a team i.e the los angeles rams than i usually feel about football these days and it would have been one of those games where i'm just tweeting out all manner of invective that i would kind of regret so it was just as well that i didn't have access to twitter anymore because that would have been one of those things where i was just like go every thought i was having i was just externalizing it with twitter and i wasn't able to do that and i think everyone's life is better for that and interestingly you

didn't unless you're on a bunch of different text chains you didn't replace that urge on the text chain i mean i think you threw a couple of things out there but it wasn't a super active day amongst

the fun-loving criminals yeah and i think sometimes you know i can occasionally read the room and sometimes it's like and you'll kind of know how this is although i feel i feel like you're sort of like me and ders are i think the most active on that thing sometimes just arguing with each other about whatever um and then the stew bot when we win will chime in with a skull and you'll chime in occasionally and then you know sometimes sammy or my friend john but like sometimes if i post like two or three things and there's just not a lot of response i just realize everyone's kind of doing their thing today you might be at your pop-up whatever it's like i'm not gonna i'm not gonna like text 20 things uh if if nobody's if nobody's on that frequency on a particular day i usually just try to kind of like leave it alone why did i think you were gonna say

i might be at my papa's i really was like what did you ever have did you ever call one of your grandparents your papa or mema or anything nope very down the down the middle grandma grandpa's on both sides for me mom and dad for that and then also this is one thing that my grandparents did that didn't seem strange in the moment although now that i'm an adult i think about this all the time that my grandma and grandpa called each other mom and dad do you are you familiar with this well

i'm familiar with mike pence doing it although he goes mother that's true he has a actually much weirder implication to me than just mom well wait that's what i'm talking about grandpa pence no um

you know they had my grandparents had five children um and then their children most of them had a lot of kids too like i had some of my cousins come from five sibling families um so i have a whole bunch of cousins and so it was very much um you know like if you can sort of picture Your big Catholic family get togethers on the big holidays, like tons of kids running around. And then, you know, five of the of the parent age siblings and their spouses and everything. And then grandma and grandpa is the kind of, you know, matriarch and patriarch or whatever, very traditional in that way. And so they were probably just so used to talking to each other around their kids. Like, what I wonder about is, like, at what, you know, at what age did they stop referring to each other as Mary and Frank? And I really hope that that is not giving away any personal information that people can use to hack into one of, I sort of feel like, what was your paternal grandfather's first name? Yeah, that's a pretty, a pretty common one.

Luckily, though, part is your granddad's name was password. But the O was a zero.

And the A was the at symbol. it's from the old country old grandpa password walsh um see now that could be a tweet that could

be a tweet like it'd be like uh i can't believe my mother's maiden name was password yeah that

could be a joke that i'm not see i'm making it yeah i'm not tweeting for you i'm not tweeting

your jokes hey man could you just kind of get me through today i just need like i just need a couple of likes and a couple of retweets to kind of get me straightened out today how many likes

said what are we up to but anyway like yeah like was it i think my uncle frank is the oldest right so was it when uncle frank was born did they start calling each other mom and dad was it after they had two kids three kids was it when the grandparents came around like at what point i never heard my grandparents refer to each other by their first name they were only mom and dad and i assume that that also happened after all the kids moved out of the house and after you know the last thanksgiving plate was cleaned or whatever we all went home i'm assuming grandma and grandpa still called each

other mom and dad i think that's kind of charming honestly like um you know it feels sort of the waltons to me the show that my mom was was pretty obsessed with where at the end of the show everybody in the house would say good night to each other and then i think the lights would so good night john boy it's the only thing i know about that show i know that's a pretty iconic ending right that i think i think most people of a certain age it whether or not they ever watch an episode of The Waltons would know that that was how the show usually sort of finished up. But I think Mom and Dad is actually kind of charming. I was always jealous. I didn't.

I didn't have the strong urge to call any of my—well, first of all, my paternal—excuse me, my maternal grandfather died when I was like two, and my maternal grandmother died long before I was born. So on my mom's side, it was kind of not happening. And then on my dad's side, you know, I knew those grandparents better, but they were nice but fairly reserved people. So I never had a me-ma and papa or anything. And I had friends whose grandparents were really in their life. Like they'd go to their grandma's house after school or something Or their grandma was always, you know I don't know, giving them cool stuff Or taking the family on vacations or whatever I never really had that And I was always a little envious of people Who had like a really close relationship with their grandparents And those were usually the ones that had some kind of Silly name for them

Yeah, my grandparents didn't have silly names But we would have like sleepovers I told you that we would go to my grandma Sim6's house This is the other side of the family And she would play us polka records She had tons of Polka 45s, and we'd have dance parties.

If there was not wood paneling in that basement, I don't know what to think about this world anymore.

I don't know that there was a basement there. That was just like their living room, but there was wood paneling. But anyway, that's neither here nor there. I will say this, and I don't know if I've told you this before, but if I could capture one smell and keep it forever, it would be you, Luke. And then the second smell that I would keep forever would be my grandma and grandpa had a, I guess, like a closet or a cupboard, like a tall cupboard in their kitchen where they must have kept all this. It was like the pantry, right? A small little pantry cupboard. And that's where they kept the graham crackers. And if we had a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpa Walsh's, we were allowed to have some graham crackers. Sounds so decadent, doesn't it? Boy, it doesn't sound that special now. but it was special and we'd go and get the graham crackers and you would open this cupboard and again it's like kind of floor to almost ceiling it was a seemed like a big pantry cupboard to me you would open up and the smell that would just waft out of there it must have been where grandma kept all of her spices and like anything that was aromatic must have been kept in there like dry goods wise and you would open that thing and oh my god like it is if i ever if they ever capture that scent and sell it i think that i would just become like an addict it would be like some sort of a futuristic movie where i'm addicted to the smell of my past it was the best smell in the world do electric sheep dream of spice right nobody would ever make a nobody would ever make a sci-fi movie about spice though that's the only thing no i don't think there's i don't see people

being interested in that or giant worms or anything no i bet you if you smelled that smell today you would immediately identify it yes like absolutely i it's funny you're talking about grandparents and smells because both of my uh my my dad's mom and his dad who were divorced long before i came around the scene but we would visit one was my my grandma burbank her name was virginia and then grandpa farnham he lived out in virginia i guess you could say ironically and then north carolina both of their respective condos smelled really good to me first of all there were some of the newer houses i'd been in owing to being built in the like 80s or something and they were just kind of clean my grandpa's place smelled like pipe tobacco which was great and my grandma's i can't exactly remember what it smelled like but it just smelled very clean and comforting and there was always a big audubon society book on the coffee table and i i do remember having general pleasant

feelings about the smells of those places yeah yeah and those are strong too it makes you wonder too like well i don't know i'm kind of obsessed with smell and i'm you know we we've talked about this on the show i think certainly we do in our personal life like i'm obsessed with the idea of nose blindness i'm worried that especially now that we have two cats here that visitors are coming over to our house and they they they can smell the catness of our house um but not catness from the uh hunger games um but um you know but you say that it still smells pretty fresh in here i trust you like you just really need a friend like i don't need people to say nice things i need people to be brutally honest with me like if you even smell so much as a a sniff of fur i want to know because i'm going to tear this place down and rebuild it no like i do want to mitigate that like the idea of coming home to something like and it makes me wonder like what did my childhood home smell like i would have no idea because i was ensconced in it at all times it's just i don't

know if that's the right word but yeah that's i think that's you were you were surrounded by it yeah exactly yeah so well that was the thing too i was we you know growing up we had a very humble little rental home uh lots of you know uh lots of kids in there and not a lot of room one bathroom But I don't think our house ever smelled weird. I mean, you're right. I guess I wouldn't know because I lived there. But, you know, I don't know. We'd be gone for vacation or something and come home. Like, I was happy about that because there was. And this is the kind of thing you think about later as an adult. And you're just like, oh, man, what a rough childhood some kids must have had. You know, there were sometimes kids who just kind of, you know, their clothes smelled sort of musty or they just had an odor about them, which you can't hold the fourth grader responsible for that. That's because the home environment is is maybe not being taken care of in the way it should be. But our house was like not very fancy at all, but it was always reasonably tidy. And it never to my to my nose, it never smelled weird. So at least we had that going for us.

Who was that? Who did the cleaning? Was it more your mom or your dad or both of them kind of?

I mean I guess it would have been my mom But a thing happened Well first of all we all had chores Not as many chores as you had in your home

Well you split it up amongst many of you

Yeah exactly with seven kids It's like one kid is responsible for one tread of stair

One older kid has two little kids strapped to his feet While he skates around the kitchen to clean the floor

That's right I'm pushing one of the younger kids Like a Dyson animal cordless vacuum But they're a human No. So we had a lot of chores. And so, you know, the dishes every night after dinner, the clearing, like the setting of the table, the clearing of the table, the dishes, that was all it was all the responsibility of a rotating system of us kids. We all had to keep our rooms clean on Saturdays. The whole house would get cleaned when we did our weekly chores. so that kind of kept on top of it then my sisters really got into this mode where like my sisters Liz and Sarah and Hannah figured out that my mom would be in a really good mood when the house was tidy they were really in like a kind of a heavy duty Anne of Green Gables meets Little House on the Prairie meets Pride and Prejudice they were old souls my sisters and so they got really into baking and all this stuff, and they also were homeschooled or would intermittently just not go to school. So they would take great pride in keeping the house pretty spick and span, and I think everybody kind of won in that equation because my mom was in a better mood, the house was reasonably clean. So I guess it was a combination of people keeping the house relatively in order.

That brings up a memory that I think you just uncovered a repressed memory. There are a few times in my childhood that I remember kind of getting in trouble or kind of like realizing that i'd done something wrong but really um really doing it innocently like you know what i mean like when you're a kid you know what the rules are and you know if you're breaking them and you know if you're gonna get caught you know or if you're sneaking an extra candy or whatever the hell kids do um but there are a couple of times where i found myself in trouble and not realizing that i had done anything wrong and i'm just remembering one of them was during one of these sleepover weekends at my grandma Simpsik's house, which we loved. I don't know if my parents were out of town or if it was just a fun thing for us to do and it gave them the night off or whatever. But I remember it was like Saturday during the day. And my sister said, let's wash grandma's floor. I can't remember if it was the kitchen or laundry room or something. And I was like, OK, you know, my sister's older than me. I'm just taking her lead. I must have been very young because I just remember, I don't know, wash getting on the hands and knees washing the floor whatever but then grandma coming into the room and just being like what the hell is going on and there was like and suddenly you look around you realize there's just standing water everywhere like our version of just like what washing the floor was i should actually text my sister see it was real sorcerer's apprentice i haven't seen

that how so that's like mickey is trying to clean uh like this kind of mickey mouse sorcerer is trying to clean uh something uh and he makes basically cast a spell and you have all these like multiplying mops oh yeah it's a water that just gets like wildly out of control it was wildly

out of control it like honestly my memory of it is so vague i mean maybe i was five i i don't know um but i just remember being like okay we're doing this thing we're doing this project i'm just following my older sister's lead and then kind of not almost like like you say like in a cartoon you're chased off a cliff but you don't fall until you look down like i just remember being like okay we're doing this thing and then not realizing really what we were doing until grandma came in and like i think it i think it was to the level where it had to be reported up to the parents when my mom picked me up or whatever and me just being like i just don't know where everything went wrong i know you think i mean i feel like i hope that they went fairly

easy on you because yeah you weren't the ringleader and b it's kind of adorable like i will say this i have a lot of respect for parents you see this on tiktok a fair amount where you somebody's like a parent of young children and you come into like the living room they come into the living room and the kids have gotten into like some kind of paint and they've just painted every surface in the in the living room you know and they're covered in paint they're often nude and like the tv has been painted over just like and when you the parents just videotaping them and laughing like just kind of like okay this is our reality but i'm just this is actually funny this is so bad it's funny i respect that move as opposed to the like screaming your lungs out because you're not gonna there's nothing you can do to fix it at that point that point it's just

kids being kids, I guess. Yeah. And I don't I don't remember being punished or something. It might have been my sister, but it's definitely just a miscalculation, I believe, on our part. And again, like you say, I believe our intentions are good. I like the idea of my sister being the ringleader, though. Like, well, I did talk. I did turn state's witness. I changed my name for a little bit. I just start going by Drew. But yeah, no, we got through it. OK. All right. Let's take

a quick break here and then when we come back I'm assuming you don't know who Liver King is

only because I clicked on the link you sent earlier

I have a vague idea. But before that you weren't a primal? No. You don't have to describe yourself as a primal? No. Okay I want to talk about that and this Hertz story as well. Coming up here on TBT. I'll stay with us. hey let's thank some of our daily donors these wonderful folks are making tbtl possible folks like sandra vasquez who's donating to the program from up there in stanwood washington I stan Stanwood I was going to say

Yeah that's kind of I was What do you call A hot zip for TBTL At least back in the day The Stanwood 10s

Yeah we got Stanwood 10s up there We've got all those folks A lot of them Working education up there And stuff I feel like Somehow we've really broken through To the greater Stanwood Washington area And I like that I also like that Anthony Crunk Is supporting us From Newark Delaware Delaware Delaware Delaware I didn't see it coming I didn't either I'll be flying out of Newark, New Jersey on Saturday when I'm flying home from the East Coast and today I was looking at Defector the site that has risen up out of the ashes of Deadspin and they have a thing where I think her name is Kelsey McKinney is the writer who will just do this kind of Zillow Gone Wild thing she'll find a house that's interesting for some reason on Zillow or on one of those Redfin type sites and then just kind of highlight it and write about it. And it was a house in Newark, New Jersey that was selling for $700,000, which is a lot of money. But it was amazing and stately and in disrepair. And I looked at it and I thought, could I move to Newark, buy this house, and then fix it up and then live in a beautiful kind of vintage home in Newark? I decided against it, mostly because I don't have any money.

And you already have a house that's unlivable. I mean, how many unlivable houses do you want? And how many undrivable trucks do you want?

Well, you know what I'm all about, Andrew, is being unreasonable during unreasonable times. And I don't think anything would really cement that, like getting two unlivable houses and one undrivable truck as the real estate market tanks all around me. Anyway, none of that is related to Anthony Crunk, other than that Anthony's in Newark, Delaware. Thank you. Also, thanks to Jules Foster, who's in Eugene, Oregon. i feel like um i've spent a fair amount of time in eugene these last couple of years we started doing livewire down there at the holt center um which we're going to be doing again i think in the spring eugene is a cool town even though it is the home of my most hated rival school

but most love weirdly it's an elementary school it's so strange that you hate that school so much

It's Krista McAuliffe Elementary School. And if those, I'll tell you what, if those kids don't straighten up and fly right, I'm going to be very mad at them. Thanks, Jules. Thanks also to Aaron Harris in Westfield, Indiana. I don't know where Westfield, Indiana is, but if it's anywhere near Indianapolis, I've been there. I've been to Indianapolis. I'm ever liking it a lot. I've never been to Bloomington. Have you been to Bloomington?

No, I haven't been to Bloomington.

Where Indiana University is based. I hear it's beautiful there In the movie Breaking Away It certainly seems like a pretty cool town Thanks Aaron Thanks also to Diane Hopkins in Rockford Minnesota That's where they keep the files And then Jeff Jenkins Down there in Plano, Texas Texas The state where the University of Washington Huskies My most beloved sports team of college Is going to be playing The University of Texas Longhorns, Hook'em Horns In the Alamo Bowl

Oh, that's right, the Alamo Bowl, that's a pretty good landing. It's not the Rose Bowl, but that's still a good one, right? I don't know anything about these bowls.

I mean, I would say this. It's a lot better than the expectation was for the Huskies going into this season. Last year, they were like four and eight or something, and they've had a surprisingly good season, and there was sort of a path for them to go to the Rose Bowl, which would have been super exciting, But then USC got absolutely trunked by Utah in the Pac-12 championship game, and it kind of threw everything into disarray because USC...

was on their way to the playoff championship. So we're now going to be in the Alamo Bowl, which is fine, except I don't know if we should have to play a Texas team in the state of Texas. Yeah, that seems like you're kind of losing home. Super fair to me. Yeah, I agree. But anyway, we'll see what happens. Whatever happens, we thank Jeff Jenkins for his support from down there in the Lone Star State. Thanks to all of our donors today for making the show possible. We wouldn't be here without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. he is wildly buff like he has like an eight pack he kind of looks like something out of like he man or something he doesn't look really like he's from this planet but he calls his um fans primals and he's always pitching he sells all these like i would say wacky supplements like his his basic spiel and shtick is that we should all be eating more like uh our our cave cave people elders did And that all our cave elders did basically was eat, like, raw liver and other organ meats without cooking them. And so he attributes his buffness to that. His wife, he calls her liver queen. I think he calls his kids liver kids. Like, it's so ridiculous. It's such a silly caricature that I do find it moderately entertaining. But not to the point where I follow him. But it's not really self-aware in that way. It's not a joke. It's not a meta statement. mentees just really it's not a joke you don't eat liver as a joke no sorry it's like tc tuggers you don't buy them as a joke they're not a joke yeah it's well see that's the thing it's so over the top he's always like hey primals liver king here don't just be like running on a country road with like four manhole covers like chained to his neck while he's just like eating like test like raw testicles or something like it's so over the top that i was like he has to be kind of in on the joke but also I mean but also he never sort of he didn't ever seem to display any actual sense of humor um so anyway I was I had an odd fascination with him when I would when he would pop up in my feed but one of the things I also knew about him was he was very very adamant when he was asked during interviews about if he was taking steroids that he had never taken steroids uh he wasn't on them he hadn't been on them he would never be on them this was all just all natural the body of a man who's eating raw testicles and um the thing that was kind of

funny was i i don't i'm not a joe rogan stan by the way i think that's fairly obvious but i don't know why maybe because i let one too many liver king videos play in my tiktok for you page i will occasionally get like a joe rogan clip that pops up and i saw one the other day that was him and if there's anybody who knows about steroids it's joe rogan because he's on them and talks about being on them he was like look the deal with this liver king guy is he is just very much on steroids like it's just no one cares but you can't say you're not on steroids like that's a body that can only happen with steroids and i don't know anything about that world so i just sort of was like that's a pretty bold statement from rogan he must know something and then sure enough it just came out like last week that the liver king was spending eleven thousand dollars a month on steroids how did it come out he was emailing with someone else another fitness influencer on tiktok somehow, not unlike Matt Taibbi uncovering a trove of emails about Twitter and the Hunter Biden story. More on that if you wanted me to bore you for an hour with how ridiculous that whole thing is. But anyway, some other fitness influencer uncovered some emails from the liver king talking to someone about how much he was spending per month on his various steroids, which it seems to me, if you're the liver king and you're out there saying that you're not on steroids, Don't email someone about the amount of money you're paying for steroids. So I didn't know what – I mean, we live in a day and age. I really just expected – and again, the fact that it's taken up any real estate in my mind is really kind of sad. This is what I do now that I don't have Twitter to fall back on, Andrew, is I think about the liver king. And will he ever actually admit to this? Because we live in a world now where if you don't like what somebody is saying that is sort of an objective statement about the facts of the world, you can just say it's fake news you can just say they're lying you can say it's um you know these documents are falsified we kind of don't live in a world where people are really held to a

account anymore for anything that they do if they're willing to just be brash enough and this guy does not seem like he's lacking in brashness but in fact he put this video out which has now had like something like two and a half million views on youtube of him just a hundred percent copying to doing the steroids it's kind of an interesting piece of tape now it has a lot of swears in it i started off thinking i'm going to bleep them but that was going to be a lot of work and who has the time so here's a little bit of the liver king copying to the fact that he's been using steroids of course he starts the video like he always does saying hey primals primals

i'm making this video to apologize because i fucked up because i'm embarrassed and ashamed because i lied and i misled a lot of people i've stated that this is a complicated as fuck topic at least to me it is because before social media i was rich and anonymous and after social media i'm still rich but no longer anonymous and i never expected this kind of exposure

in the public eye did you say why he's rich it's been he sells these supplements and i guess he's been doing that for a long time and he claims these are his numbers but he claims that he makes like a hundred million dollars a year or generates a hundred million dollars a year with these various supplements that he's i guess been selling since before he showed up on tiktok as the liver king like he's just been he's been doing this as a business for a while

is his claim that's weird there's something weird about when people are talking about being

rich i don't know oh oh yeah 100 again this is a guy who addresses his fans as primals well that's often literally like like i said i'm i don't even think that's an exaggeration when i said he's usually jogging down a road with manhole covers while he's eating testicles like that's the kind of stuff that he does yeah so i i agree with you i this this apology is weird to me because every time i think it's getting genuine it turns into like a some kind of a brag yeah and every time i think it's without any merit it actually kind of gets a little real uh-huh like it's kind of i i kept changing my mind on if it was like the worst apology ever or actually had a little bit of heartfelt um this is about to go into the less great part where he's basically talking about his mission as being trying to cure PTSD through people eating raw organ meat and somehow that's why he had to lie about taking steroids

tricky as fuck to navigate well clearly I did it wrong and I'm here now to set the record straight yes I've done steroids and yes I'm on steroids monitored and managed by a trained hormone clinician oh my god liverking the public figure was an experiment to spread the message to bring awareness to the 4 000 people a day who kill themselves the 80 000 people a day that try to kill themselves our people are hurting at record rates with depression autoimmune anxiety

infertility low ambition this is the part of the apology that feels less genuine to me

in case in case it wasn't clear i hate this guy so much why are you doing this to me But I'm just like why I shouldn't have this much hate in my heart at 11 a.m.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that if not for me putting this on the show sheet, you would have been you would have continued your life blissfully unaware of the existence of someone named Liver King. And now now you have to know about it. And now it will it will take up some, as I said, real estate in your brain. I apologize. But now we've come this far. Let's just let's back into the brief.

In life, our young men are hurting the most, feeling lost, weak, and submissive. So I made it my job.

And I think so much of this is going to be traced back to lack of raw organ consumption. Right, right. And the lack of taking his, like, you know, rhinoceros horn powder in a, like, gel capsule form.

I mean, I know it's obvious. I don't have to state what's going on here. But, like, he's still, first of all, this doesn't make him any less famous. Now I know who he is. now probably a lot of people who aren't on tiktok or don't spend much time there now know who this guy is so it's almost like there's no such thing as bad publicity and he's just like this apology is wrapped up in the self-aggrandizement of of heroism and martyrdom as if he was he's literally saying i'm sorry i had to take steroids but i did it to save people's lives yes this is like i said

this was the part of the apology i was like this is the biggest bunch of bs ever which i i would still say that it it still comes down as bs to me there were some parts of the problem is this is like this is six minutes long and i don't think you have that in you and i think you can spend

six minutes in the ring mentally with the liver king if it sounds like somebody pops a brown paper bag over here don't worry it's just my head exploding just keep going on with the show

okay i apologize um well you covered for me yesterday so if you need to um If you need to take the rest of the program off, it's more than fair. But he does, now again, we're going to have to listen to, like Andy Dufresne in the Shawshank Redemption. We're going to have to crawl through a mile of shit to get to any part of it seeming kind of legitimate.

I don't teach and preach a simple, elegant solution called ancestral living. The nine ancestral tenets. So our people no longer have to suffer. So we can collectively express our highest and most dominant form. This is my fight. This is why I exist.

I feel like you're not going to sign up for Ancestral Living, Andrew. Am I reading the tea leaves correct on that? I'm going to study it out. I'm going to study it out. It's all you do. Study it out.

While spreading the message, I've been on several podcasts. And when asked if I've ever taken steroids, I've always said no. I don't touch the stuff. Not going to touch the stuff. Never touch the stuff. That was a lie. i've convinced myself that this had nothing to do with the ancestral message i convinced myself that i'm not a competitive athlete of any kind so who the fuck am i cheating i convinced myself that this topic was a placeholder for a far more important conversation i convinced myself that this would overshadow the 36 years of working out usually twice a day without PEDs. I've convinced myself that this was the vocal minority, usually in the fitness category, driving to an unproductive conversation. And I had convinced myself that this would be the wrong message to send to the 15-year-old boys. So I continually dismissed it, and I dug myself into a bigger and deeper hole. I have only myself to blame i did that and it was all wrong i will be better i will talk about it openly because i believe that there's a time and a place for pharmacological intervention monitored and managed by a trained hormone physician by the way that's going to be your

intro tomorrow okay he's been doing some online researching and he's he's arrived at some

conclusions actually can you just introduce me with all six minutes of this the next time you

introduce me on the show oh my gosh that would be something that would occur to me and actually i'd be tempted to follow through with anyway he goes on from there i will this is this is the thing it's obviously gross and it's gross that he is like you said framing it as some kind of a way to try to you know prevent self-harm from people etc like it's it's very gross i will admit to you that i was genuinely five percent surprised that in this day and age somebody like this when called to account who has i mean bizarrely he has a lot of fans right i mean which is you could interrogate that as to what it says about our society as well but he does have fans and what he could have also done is just never responded to it and they just said those are just the haters and his fans because this is what people do now if you're a fan of someone whether it's a politician or whatever the hell liver king is there's a tendency to just assume that anything that's negative that's said about them or portrays them in a bad light it's just a lie or a falsehood or you know it's it like it isn't worth even thinking about and so people can just get away with ridiculous bs these days um so i'm surprised he even responded to it i guess at least there's that there is that

although don't you agree that going this route like you know i'm sure there's a lot of different decisions you have to make when you're kind of caught with your pants down in a in any kind of a scandal right um and when you're caught with your pants down and a raw elephant penis on your

breath um but like this is definitely he's done that in a video but i wouldn't i wouldn't count

it out this is the smart move though right like just from uh from a cloud standpoint yeah kind of yeah because you don't lose your followers you might be able to maintain them now like and again And I know this person was very famous in the corner of the world that I just was unaware of. But like, you know, having this is a Washington Post piece, I think. Yeah. Washington Post piece where you're in the headline like, hey, do a heartfelt apology. And like, you're going to keep most of your hardcore fan base anyway. But it's like a part of this narrative arc, like you say, like this is all fine for him. And also don't forget what a hero he is. He was taking these steroids to keep people from falling to the depths of mental health and despair.

Yeah, I think you're right. I think, I mean, I think overall he probably made a calculated decision to do this. And, yeah, it's probably not. I mean, maybe he'll have some percentage of his fan base will say, well, you lied to us. Now we're going to go follow Kidney King or something, who's his main competition. That's a guy who just eats kidney meat. And then, of course, you have Gallbladder Prince, who's kind of up and coming in the game.

He was played by Paul Rubens for some reason.

I mean, the thing is, is that a Mystery Men reference? You know what? I didn't realize it was in the moment until as I was saying it or after I got done saying it, I was like, oh, I'm thinking of that because he played the spleen in Mystery Men. I didn't realize that until after I said it.

I mean, I don't think I need to waste any of the listeners' time by saying that the Liver King guy's vibe is not really for me or you. but i do think it was interesting that even before he you know whatever this thing came out that he was taking a bunch of steroids his videos when he would portray his life at home it looked so miserable to me like this is this aspirational thing like primals if you want to have a wife like liver wife and then of course he is you know his wife is somebody who's very physically active as well and his kids and he'd be like walking around his house and he wants to show us his house is very nice and he wants to show us that everybody in his family gets up you know at 5 a.m. and just starts immediately consuming uncooked organ meats and then starts doing some kind of insane high high intensity workout um it it looked so bad to me i couldn't quite understand how it was aspirational for anyone you know because it just that even when b even when he was riding at his highest it just seemed like a miserable existence to me i will say this i'm not going to play the rest of the tape because it is long and terrible he does talk about being insecure and which is the one thing that i should have just probably pulled that bit of the audio although i don't think there's anything that's gonna redeem the liver king for you andrew i think your instincts are right on this one but he does talk about like i work out this hard because i'm insecure and i don't like how i look and i tell myself that if i just get buff enough then it's like then i have some value and i was like okay that's like that's a pretty real i wish he would have started there instead of saying that this is his way of trying to you know prevent people from harming themselves but he did he did talk about his insecurity in a way that I sort of was like, okay, that rings true, and that's at least some useful piece of this for him. But anyway, for all of you out there who are trying to achieve the Leverking's physique au naturel, just know that it's not possible.

Yeah, you might just need to add one more thing to your diet, which is steroids.

If you're currently in jail because you're accused of stealing a Hertz rental car that you never actually had possession of, I have good news. You may be entitled to part of a $168 million lawsuit lawsuit, that Hertz is now paying out. Hertz, don't it. It sure does. Now, what are they going to pay me for that? How about my pain and suffering from having Ben Hanses punch me in the arm and say, hey, do you want a Hertz donut? Then punching me.

Want to play 52 Pickup? I always hated both of those.

Oh, God. I hated those so much. Also, by the time you're seven years old, you've had both of those stupid pranks played on you to where when someone goes you want a hurts donut you're like no i don't want you to punch me and guess what they did they punched you the joke was way out of the bag on that hurts

donut well and do you remember pinch me and punch me like i forgot about this like when this popped in my head the other day like i had totally forgot somebody somebody give me the details on this because i don't remember that well but there was like pinch me and punch me went down to the lake punch me fell in who was left and then you'd say pinch me and then the person would pinch you or i mean it was a lose-lose situation it was like do you want to be pinched or punched and i would say i you know neither i would like to not participate in this conversation that um that

one did not make its way out to the seattle area at least in my friend group but definitely the hurts donut there was something about like a strawberry patch you want me to grow a strawberry patch on your arm which would be pinching and slapping and making it so that you're like you know skin got all red like but yeah none of those the person who approached you saying do you want to hurt stone it just wanted to punch you and even if you're like no i i know that that one that's been i've had that i've been subjected to that one a few times they weren't gonna go like ah you got

me okay right right you were still getting punched you flinched no i didn't two for flinching fuck you two for flinching also pinch me and punch me went down to the lake how am i getting zero internet returns on that was this something my sister made up just to torture me

i'll figure i'll get to the bottom of this did she learn it from the liver king yeah i feel like the liver king was the guy out there doing a lot of hurts primals you want a hurts don't the only kind of donut you should eat is a hurts donut um so i i guess it was a story that i missed when it first happened but there was this period of time there was 364 claims that hertz is now settling um which were cases of innocent car renters who were arrested and jailed sometimes for weeks or months over the report they'd stolen a hertz car dozens of customers had shared stories on social media and broadcast television of being arrested swatted meaning like a swat team sent out to their house or stopped at border crossings after Hertz had incorrectly reported them to a

authorities for stealing vehicles from its rental fleet in many of the cases the customers had paid for and properly returned the car weeks or months prior or had never rented a car at all the story of this guy drew ceaser a real estate appraiser from colorado learned of a warrant for his arrest in georgia when he was stopped at the airport on the way to mexico with his family he told cbs news He had never been to Georgia or rented a car from Hertz. He was jailed for more than 24 hours. The charges were dismissed after his lawyer provided prosecutors with an alibi. That's wild. That's like, I mean, that would be, that would make me so furious if I was on my way to Mexico with my family. And then I had to, we had to delay the trip, probably buy new tickets. And I had to go to jail for 24 hours over something I literally didn't do. There are many things I should be going to jail for. Don't get me wrong. But don't send me up on some bogus charge from Hertz that I didn't even rent a car from.

I wonder if they have their own jail, too. The Hertz jail. I don't want to go to the Hertz jail. Like, oh, I heard another. Sorry, this is off topic. But sorry. Yeah, this is way off topic. Let me just say it quickly, though. Back to the sports thing. I think I was flipping through the stations or something the other day when I was driving and I heard part of a football game on the radio. And there was a, you know, some sort of a, I'll say menace on the field. You know, some fan got on the field. I don't think it was a protester. Or it was just like, yeah, I don't know if they were stripping or streaking or just running across the field. Some, you know, drunk person. And for some reason, I feel like I always hear the radio calls of those. I know that we talked about kind of the famous radio calls that Kevin Harlan has done, if I have that name right. But this wasn't that. Instead, it was the more pedestrian one. I don't know who the football announcers were, but, like, they get so angry at people disrespecting the sport. There's, oh, some idiots on the field. Like, I find that so unprofessional.

They love to say idiot on the field.

Oh, yeah, and whoever this guy was who's, like, calling this football game is just, like, just keeps on saying the most, like, like, don't get me wrong. Me and my friends are not the type of people who are going to be, like, jumping on a football field and streaking or running across it. I don't have a lot of time in my life for that either. But, like, also, like, the radio announcers just treat it like somebody is, like, pissing on the altar of a church. Like, they're so mad about it. Like, oh, well, somebody's going to be spending a lot of time down in the NFL jail today. I hope you enjoyed the game and just like going off I'm just like why are you so angry bro like these are like this is a game and there's a lot of heavy serious stuff that go along with the game that is worth having uh important conversations about but like whether or not there's some like 20 year old drunk kid let's say 21 keep it legal running across the field and like that's what gets you angry hey guess who else is on that field Deshaun fucking Watson you asshole like sorry that's being a little bit personal but like they're so like angry at like people like

disrespecting the sport i'm with you and it's this particularly with the nfl this just like sanctimonious sort of thing that happens i mean yesterday in particular because it was cleats for a cause or whatever yeah and hey you know what it's great i don't have a problem with any of the players and i think it's cool that like you know one of the players i saw was like promoting the boys and girls club which i like loved the boys and girls club when i was a kid i think it helps a lot of folks out etc there's nothing wrong with that but the the way that the announcers talk with this reverence about like um particularly the military we've got listeners that are in the military and you know uh peace and love and thanks for um you know thanks for being out there and and doing the stuff but like just the the way that it's like you said it's almost becomes like it's some sort of sanctuary for like these important causes like the military and cleats For a cause and like yeah some idiot on the Field ruining this for just like yeah these are grown These are grown men Chasing around a pig's bladder Possibly giving each Other CTE for a bunch Of white owners to get rich I mean that's Like let's just not and fine I Obviously enjoy watching it I'm not gonna Act like I don't but let's not get Carried away with how important this is in the world Or how how how sort of You know the sanctity of this game

And it becomes like such and there's also a part of it that's like These announcers become like tough guys sort of i just heard this guy become a real tough guy up in his booth like talking about how justice is going to be meted out would it be meted out or meta i think meted out right for uh insecurities today by the way i also saw that like did i see like 10 or 12 of the cleats for a cause were going to um anti-abortion causes but there was like one player i believe i want to say in new england i want to say a tight end but it's not gronk um no he's gronk is too busy trying to steal valor from navy navy credit have you seen or whatever yeah anyway that that did support um uh planned parenthood i think so shout out to that player whose name i can't remember have you seen the gronk commercial though for a navy federal where he's

stops a young family in the parking lot and he's all excited and he's like I want one of those but yes we think he's talking about the baby but he's talking about the bumper I love that I think

that's a great commercial it really gets me that's funny I well I get stressed out by Gronk's acting like which he's not supposed to be good at acting he's a football player you know it's like he's I've honestly he's probably he's fairly capable as an actor considering his primary occupation was football player but there's just something about i've never been in a commercial that's of the level of like those ads you know those are big national television ads that have all kinds of um you know uh there's a big huge crew there there's a lot of money on the line it's a big deal i get stressed i feel like if i were one of the other actors in the scene trying to act opposite rob gronkowski who's pretty wooden with his delivery but game like he's trying how do i say this in a way that's really delicate i was involved in a production not that long ago where there was a person who was making a cameo in the production they had actually bid as part of an auction a charity auction to get to be a part of something they had one line in the thing that i was working on and it was pretty interesting because i don't think i'm like not a good actor at all i can portray some version of myself in things semi-passably but um some of these things that i'm and they'll actually cast me opposite of real actors, people who actually auditioned and got in, and they're really good. It's amazing. They sound like they're portraying the people in these projects very accurately. Like, oh, I believe that you're actually that person. Then there's me. I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm just being a goof. Then there's someone who has no acting background or training or particular ability for it, and it's amazing to hear the line. It reminded me at some points a little bit like the seed in American movie, when he's trying to get his grandpa to do the it's all right, it's okay, there's something to live for.

I was going around the house muttering that the other day, and I don't know why, and I've got to say it's not a good look. Just going around the house, just muttering to yourself while your significant other is home, just going around the house going, it's all right, it's okay, there's something to live for. Jesus told me so. That's right, not my best look. And I've got a lot of bad looks.

It's the first line of the film, man. It's got to be on the money here. It's all right. Okay, cut. All right, man. You've got to give it some passion, too, man. It's all right. It's okay. There's something to live for. Jesus told me so. Growls.

It's all right. There's something to live for. Jesus told me so.

Okay, great, Bill, but we have to have fluidity. your teeth clattering okay this is take eight it's all right it's okay okay that's fine you got to watch your teeth too because they clack a little bit when they

loosen up in the mouth i love that okay loosen up in the mouth i want to go back to this usaa commercial again because i don't know um if you cut and again i'm not saying this is like the most brilliant thing on tv but i'm remembering the ending of it now so gronk is walking past this cute family with a little baby in the in the uh in the parking lot and he says oh i want one of those someday i think that's how he puts it and you think he's talking about the baby but he's talking about the usaa bumper sticker that this family had earned because they're in a military family or whatever and most of the interaction is between gronk and the mom right um or the woman in this family and then uh and then at the end the guy says who was that and I think she says Gronk and he says oh the I'm special guy did you notice that he says that at the end of the commercial that's I think what kills me can I just play this for you does he say I'm special in one of the other ads yeah in the very first one that Gronk did that I think got the most kind of viral attention he's like well I'm special and it's like kind of right on the line because It's like he's talking to a USAA, I think I said Navy Federal before, but he was talking to like a USAA, you know, operator or something who's telling him that, you know, this is only a special offer for military families. So here, take a listen to this. This is the new commercial.

Oh, I love to have one of my own someday.

Thanks. She's nine months. Say hi.

Oh, I was talking about your USAA bumper sticker. I tried everything to get a membership.

uh yeah my dad served in the marines he passed the membership down to me i'll pass it to her

wow that's a lucky kid who's he that's grunk oh yeah i'm special guy

anyway i yeah no it is stressful to watch him back i mean his acting is so bad it's a different kind of art form at this point like he just leans so into like being a big You right and also the the premise to me like is the the pro i would i actually don't dislike the commercials either there's certainly way way way way more annoying commercials that run during the football games but the idea that rob gronkowski is somebody who desperately needs to save up to five percent on his auto insurance is hard for me to believe because he's a wealthy former athlete and the single-mindedness with which he pursues his love of USAA, and that the idea that Gronk, most of Gronk's day is consumed with how do I get my hands on the sweet, sweet USAA membership is kind of great. Yeah, I was going to say, that's literally, that's what I love about it. It's so stupid. I mean, the funny thing is, though, he could enlist. Yeah, he could. He's retired from football. Well, I believe my guess is he would still pass almost all of the physical tests. He's got flat feet, Luke. He's a specimen. He's got bone spurs. It's like that's another tweet that the world is being deprived of. Andrew is, hey, Gronk, how about you pull a hitch and nam? If you want to get the USAA treatment.

There's an easy way to do this, and it's called do your part. Isn't that a joke from from Always Sunny in Philadelphia? The Danny DeVito character says something like he got it like while he was in NAMM, but he was just like visiting there in the early 2000s.

Wait, he got something, not the insurance.

No, yeah, not insurance, but he just says something, yeah, I got it in NAMM. Oh, I love it. Like he was there in the 90s or something.

I don't know why calling it NAMM is the most specific reference.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

All right. An email or V-mail before we hit the road. I'll be flying to Columbus, Ohio after this, Andrew.

Oh, yeah. What's the story in Columbus again?

It's a story about a very special collection of comic books that reside in Columbus, Ohio. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that all you can say? Legally, that's all I can disclose at this time.

Oh, that's interesting. Comic books again. I just got an email.

I was on my beat. Well, noted comic fan that I am.

Yeah, I know. Hey, I am in a bit of a pickle here because I have a wonderful email that I want to read to you. But you and I were talking about it off air. And now neither one of us remember whether or not we read this on air or not. And it's a long email. But I don't want to risk letting this email get lost to the dustbin of TBTL history.

You told me a couple of details from it that did not seem familiar to me.

Yeah, although you might warg out sometimes when I'm talking.

I kind of do.

So anyway, listeners, I'm going to read this again. I love this email that we got from listener Elizabeth. You might have heard this before. If you're thinking, I've heard this before, just know that you have, and everything is okay with your own.

And if you haven't, it's new to you. Like NBC used to try to tell us with reruns of Seinfeld.

Right, exactly. it's must hear podcast um tv must hear tv so a while back a couple of weeks ago now i think we heard from a listener because you were kind of spoofing on the idea of proposing in a hot air balloon um which is kind of tropey on tv and we heard from a listener who actually did propose in a hot air balloon and we got his perspective of what it's like to be in a hot air balloon i believe somewhat terrified um and uh we got this message from elizabeth because in the original email from I want to say, Sam, he talks about how these things just land wherever they land, essentially. And he sort of said in the email that the hot air balloon operator said to him, well, what kind of person wouldn't want a hot air balloon landing in their yard? So this is from listener Elizabeth, who says Sam's story about proposing on a hot air balloon reminded me of when a hot air balloon landed in my backyard. I was around 11 years old. I grew up in the country in Kansas with a large field in front of the house. i was playing outside when i heard a strange noise coming from above me i looked this is new

to me and this is new to you okay this would definitely have made uh an impression on my

brain i think i read this several times um just to myself then because i so anyway i love this i love muttered it muttered about it as you walked around the house saying hot air strange noise is all right um so anyway elizabeth hears a strange noise coming from above her i look up and there was a hot air balloon slowly drifting down towards me. I was hearing the roar of the burner. I had never seen one so close before. It was surreal. The operator called down to me asking if it was okay to land. Again, Elizabeth, I think, was 11 here. I was very confused about the situation, so I said I'd have to go ask my mom. I went inside, and I'm also wondering, like, how much control does this guy have?

he's like hovering above the yard like can i touch down or not uh elizabeth was very confused about the situation i said i'd go ask my mom i went inside and said something like mom there's a guy in a hot air balloon that wants to land in the yard is that okay go to your room for lying and she she did a similar double take and then said sure as sam's operator noted it would be a special kind of person who would refuse a hot air balloon on their property so we go outside and we give them the go-ahead. So they're hovering. I guess they're hovering, just waiting to hear back from them.

I didn't even think about that being an option. Like, permission to land?

Yeah, right? Because I guess they're hovering and they're asking an 11-year-old, hey, can I land in your yard? Like, what an 11-year-old would say no? Get out of here. It feels like the beginning of a Coen Brothers movie. It does feel that way, yeah. So we go outside and we give them the go-ahead. They landed gently in the field and slowly started to deflate the balloon. At this point, my dad, who'd been out riding his horse, rides up to greet the newcomers and asks them all sorts of questions about ballooning. He was a champion talker and loved learning new things. His poor horse was so freaked out by the balloon that it balked at going anywhere near it. Its front legs were sticking straight out and shaking so hard the knees were nearly knocking together. By the time the balloon was completely deflated and lying on the field, the chase truck had figured out where we were and came cruising up with the trailer. they packed up the balloon and the basket onto the trailer and they were gone lickety split that was the only time it happened but it makes for a very cool memory what was the name of this

elizabeth i want elizabeth i want you to take this as the spirit it's intended in but i don't even know how elizabeth knows about the internet at this point grows up in kansas dad's out riding a horse was her name elizabeth um ingles was this is very little house on the prairie no just like

a hot air balloon just like a lights yeah in their field some sort of i'm trying to think what would they have called it some sort of a flying apparatus ma right flying apparatus from

the future i mean seriously like um uh i'm also trying to figure out if i used a light correctly there a light would be to lay out descend no yeah a bird descend from the air and settle hey yeah it's a luke w tuesday because i did use that right yeah that's an amazing story that would stick with you for the absolute rest of your life i mean if that happened to you as a kid i mean that is

just that's totally bizarre but in the best way this was an interesting um interesting situation i found myself in not a situation really but i was at the eagles with a bunch of friends i think it was oh you know it was apple cup saturday so we're having a chili night there we're serving chili and eating chili and watching the apple cup and i was there with a group of friends and Genevieve's mom and sister were in town too and so um you know we watch the game we're all hanging out for quite some time and then at one point I kind of realized I kind of tune into a conversation that's happening at the other end of the table which is Genevieve's mom and our friend Camaro Kev talking deeply about the details of Little House on the Prairie episodes whoa yes wait a minute not what I would have expected apparently Camaro Kev is going through and maybe we should have him on the show and actually ask him about this because he is going through a i guess a complete rewatch of little house on the prairie and i don't know i had no idea that he played in that space me neither exactly i had no idea and i'm just like listening over then and like they're getting into the details of some um some episode where isn't the guy from highway to heaven also Not Landon Michael Landon But the other guy, the bearded guy, right?

He plays Mr. Edwards Yes Mr. Edwards on Little House And I forget the name of the actual actor His name is Isaiah Edwards Known as Mr. Edwards And he was played by Victor French Who then was also on Highway to Heaven Highway to Heaven was just Victor French And Michael Landon going around As angels Fixing people's problems

Yeah I believe as Camaro Kev said When you have that kind of chemistry you don't split it apart No you don't Camaro's retelling some story about I think maybe the origin story of What's his name Mr. Potter on the show Mr. Edwards Mr. Edwards on the show Apparently he used to be in the parlance of the time A drunk and he had like a whiskey jug That he'd carry around But he had given that up But he was still drinking water out of the jug When he found it at work again one day And then people around the town were like, oh, he's drinking again, but he's actually drinking water. And then somebody sees the woman that he's flirting with drinking from the jug, too. And they think that she's drinking or whatever. And then there was a little debate on the details of this specific episode between Camaro.

kev and genevieve's mom it was like an incredibly charming thing to suddenly tune into i'm i'm on the little house uh wiki and um it turns out i didn't realize this that mr edwards uh is uh not a was not part of the like the laurel laura ingles wilder like books like he was an invention for the tv show that does not surprise me at all he was a good a good but troubled man many bouts with alcoholism loss of faith and depression due to past personal tragedies as a result he was known to get into brawls and gamble away wait is this me this is based exactly on my life he was known to get into brawls and gamble away his money this was your birth father ah this is this is a i mean this is interesting i need to get some dna i need to get some kind of dna test from uh mr edwards and see, because this very much could be my birth father. He was a mountain man, apparently. So he just happened to live near them when they lived out in Kansas. Again, this is for the TV show, but I did actually, he was a very kind of gregarious, affable character on the TV show. I always had a real kind of love for him, because he was like, he was kind of rough around the edges, but a good guy. And he used to sing that song that I have sung many times on the show about Old Man Tucker was a fine old man, washed his face in a frying pan, combed his hair with a wagon wheel, died with a toothache in his heel. That was a song that Mr. Edwards would sing

that clearly stuck with me. Yeah, I remember you singing that on the show, and I think a listener would be called in to sing that to us, too, at one point. It sounds like I'm crying, but I'm just getting a hitch in my throat. Excuse me. Well,

I mean, it can be emotional for all of us to learn that Camaro Kev is a little house head.

I almost, I don't think that's the worst idea to see if he wants to come on the show. No,

it's not the worst idea at all. The real thing would be to have him and my mom on. Yes. And do a little house quiz. Yeah.

Oh, that would be good.

Although I bet you he would, if he's re-watching them right now, he would probably smoke my mom at that quiz. But my mom has also watched all of those episodes like 30 times each.

Really? Yeah. Genevieve is like that with MASH. Well, I don't know, 30 times each. But like, I remember when I first met Genevieve, one of the things that I knew about her right away was that she had watched and retained every episode of MASH.

I could never get past the opening music of MASH, as I always talk about on the show. like i understood it to be a comedy but first of all the jokes were way over my head and it would come on at a time where like i forget when it came on at night but it came on and then it was just you know those very sad notes of that song as these choppers are coming over a hill probably in like um you know van nuys or something doubling for korea i just couldn't ever i couldn't i bet you now if i watched it i'd probably get the humor of it but just could never connect listen i can't

keep my silence on this any longer i have had this website open since we first started the show and again i don't want to offend anybody either if you're a person who actually struggles with adhd or if you're somebody who truly believes that you're but i am on a on a website called it's just too funny not to do and i the name of the website is better with cats dot net um and Um, they have 14, 14, um, 14 signs that you need to be aware of because your cat might have ADHD and Luke, some of these, I mean, just listen to this list. I'm not going to go into the, into the details of it, but I, they all just describe cats. I mean, it is like, it is, it is the tweet that I wanted to tweet hyperactivity mood swings does your cat lack self-awareness basically the description of that one is even when you tell a cat no the cat continues to try to do it that's a sign uh short attention span luke number five curiosity what that's one of the signs you need to look for ability to hyper focus not listening to you a cat not listening to anything that you require her to do that is not a sign that your cat has adhd it's a sign that it's a feline my friend wow that's the one that just really really gets me and curiosity if your cat's curious you might want to take him to the vet

i'm now on this uh website which i wouldn't i'm not going to call the least kludgy website i've been on no better with cats.net but it does have some uh interesting what are the things that cats can drink besides water turns out gin is fine which i would not have known i didn't actually read i didn't click on the article yet i don't know what kind of viruses my computer is getting

from this but nobody double check us on that just know that it's safe to give your cats gin it's

fine exactly all right all right that's gonna do it for today's episode thank you everyone for listening

We're going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Until then, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. Probably don't feed your cats, Jen. No, don't. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Old Dan Tucker was a fine old man. Washed his face with a frying pan. And combed his hair with a wagon wheel. Died with a toothache in his heel. Get out the way for old Dan Tucker. He's too late to get his supper.

Supper's over and dinner's cooking. Old Dan Tucker just stands there looking. Power out. Power out.