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#3848 Slow Burns
TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#3848 Slow Burns

from TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

December 30, 2022 | 00:36:51 | Leisure, Comedy

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Luke has a pile of quotes in front of him, and Andrew has to guess which ones originated from Elon Musk and which ones originated from Montgomery Burns.
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:33 | Speaker 1:

It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries. It's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good. It's quite pungent. Oh, yeah. Ooh, it's a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils in a good way. Yeah. Brian, I'm going to be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline. They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time, it works every time. that doesn't make sense tbtl

00:00:33 - 00:00:53 | Speaker 3:

well hello good morning and welcome to day five of the tbtl winter games my name is luke burbank right over there my dear friend and the longest running cobro of the show mr andrew walsh hello

00:00:53 - 00:01:40 | Speaker 2:

Hello, Luke. I don't want to make a super dark joke or reference at the beginning of this show, but I will say this. I'm a little nervous about this quiz because we're recording this maybe about two or three weeks before this will air. I don't have it all mapped out, but it does involve, as you mentioned on yesterday's show, today we're doing a quiz called Who Said It? Montgomery Burns or Elon Musk? Submitted by listener Laura And God knows What Elon Musk Could get up to Between the time that we're recording this And it airs Like potentially some very dark stuff So I'm just really hoping That this is still an okay thing to do On Friday, December 30th

00:01:40 - 00:03:16 | Speaker 3:

It's based On a quiz That the New Republic created So if the New Republic felt like this was appropriate content I'm going to go with that, but I'm with you. I mean, Will, as this is airing, and you and I are on our, you know, our respective little vacations, will Twitter exist? That's a good point. I think it's likely it will. I mean, I think it'll still be around, but I mean, I have to say, as we're recording this, it's definitely, every time I think, well, this is kind of, this has gone to a place that I couldn't have imagined. It seems to sort of the whole platform go to another place or Elon Musk tweets something that's even more incendiary, like my pronouns are prosecute Fauci. Right. Which he did. He tweeted that out, yeah. I will say that David Roth now, because Trump is kind of David Roth, that defector, because Trump is almost an afterthought now in a way. It's interesting to watch Trump's just kind of like ability to drive the conversation. It seems like maybe we're just in a in a moment where it's it's diminished. But, you know, David Roth's writing about Trump was always very trenchant and interesting. And now he's turned his laser lens towards Musk, which I think speaks to how big of a part of the conversation Musk now is. And yeah, it's a I hope Twitter is existing. So this this quiz is kind of relevant and B, I hope that Musk hasn't done something so so so sort of unsettling to our listeners that us even mentioning the name is is rough for them.

00:03:16 - 00:03:29 | Speaker 2:

Right. Like by this point, Elon Musk and Kanye West have created the Institute for Free Speech and Troll Studies or what have you. They probably partnered up and have some offensive flag flying outside.

00:03:29 - 00:03:48 | Speaker 3:

At some point, they're on their new enemy is Alex Jones because he's not extreme enough. Yeah, right, exactly. That's the denouement of this whole thing, is a final sort of Thanos-style war between Elon Musk, Kanye West, and Alex Jones.

00:03:49 - 00:04:35 | Speaker 2:

I am excited about this, though. I was going to say, speaking of who said it quizzes, I always bring this up when we talk about David Roth. The first time I knew of him was way back, I think in the very, very early 2000s, and I was booking him on our radio show at the time back in new hampshire but he had written a piece and i think he was just freelancing at the time it was you know long before deadspin but he had written a piece that i think you can still find who said it jim harbaugh or the zodiac killer i think i've given you that quiz on the show before luke it stands up it is the funniest who said a quiz maybe with the exception of this one which laura sent in from the new republic but luke that thing has got to be 20 years old now and it is still hilarious i encourage people to look it up i told you i've had a whole kind of um new lens

00:04:35 - 00:05:00 | Speaker 3:

uh through which to look at jim harbaugh which is his daughter's tiktok i don't like follow his daughter on tiktok but i realized at some point you know there was a whole trend on tiktok of like of of kids primarily daughters kind of documenting their dads just being in like intense dad mode like getting to the airport three hours early and it was often a company with the home depot doers getting done soundtrack as like the

00:05:00 - 00:05:42 | Speaker 1:

The dad is walking like 15 feet ahead of everyone else in the family towards the TSA checkpoint because he's like, can't get to the, you know, to the gate early enough, etc. And so in this kind of style, one of Jim Harbaugh's daughters has just started like documenting him and she calls him vacation Jim. Like when they're on vacation, just like what he eats, him working out in the hotel, like hallway, not in the gym in the hotel, but him just kind of doing some weird calisthenic. or like he's just he has such if he wasn't like a very well-paid very famous football coach he could just be a dad who you know is a general contractor or works at a software company or

00:05:42 - 00:05:58 | Speaker 2:

something yeah he's always had very dad energy by the way i'm wrong about this quiz um it was 2014 um in vice magazine so i was right about everything but i thought it was much older than this but it was only from 2014 it was called jim harbaugh or the zodiac killer an important quiz

00:05:58 - 00:06:40 | Speaker 1:

well we've got this important quiz listener laura sent in i think what we should do is let's take our break yep so that we can come back and uh just dive right into this thing i'm going to tell you uh this much andrew and i've you know i've put these kinds of quizzes together for live wire and things like that this one is not easy no great which speaks to yeah please see previous comments the idea that somebody who's created for comic effect to be saying things that are extreme i.e mr burns and that it would be as hard as it is to tell the difference between an actual human being elon musk who's saying some of these things is um it's telling so uh we'll play this game in a moment here on tbtl

00:06:40 - 00:07:02 | Speaker 2:

they're not booing andrew they're saying boo i was going to say if any of the questions or any of these prompts or hints are about blocking out the sun, I know for sure that it's Elon Musk. Absolutely. I mean,

00:07:02 - 00:07:20 | Speaker 1:

otherwise, how is he going to populate it? And I mean with his actual children. Okay, here we go. Elon Musk or Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. I'm going to read you a quote. You've got to guess who it is. Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the land of the free.

00:07:21 - 00:07:35 | Speaker 2:

oppression and harassment are a small price i hate to say it but i'm gonna i'm gonna say that's musk it's almost too dark for the simpsons burns my boy okay i got a buzzer there then okay not a

00:07:35 - 00:07:48 | Speaker 1:

oh yeah sorry i was you're right dinging is not that's not the problem i don't know what to do now you're telling me i'm wrong but i heard the bell i don't know what to do no no now you're now we've got sit down smithers let me hook your electrodes back up

00:07:48 - 00:07:53 | Speaker 2:

I'm both drooling and cowering at the same time, Luke

00:07:53 - 00:08:08 | Speaker 1:

Alright, that is a very that's actually, I mean if you think about it, that's a darkly comic line oppression and harassment are a small price to pay, to live in the land of the free that's a terrible Elon Musk impression

00:08:08 - 00:08:13 | Speaker 2:

It was so awful I'm ready for number two

00:08:13 - 00:08:28 | Speaker 1:

The politicians and unelected bureaucrats who stole our liberty should be tarred feathered and thrown out of town stole our liberty would so the tarred feathered

00:08:28 - 00:08:46 | Speaker 2:

and thrown out of town sounds like burns burnsy but would he say who stole our liberty would there be a plot where he would be saying that and i don't did musk musk wasn't a gen musk wasn't like on the side of the insurrectionists was he sorry i'm just talking to myself here i know that's fine

00:08:46 - 00:08:47 | Speaker 1:

Work the process

00:08:47 - 00:08:54 | Speaker 2:

Work it out I'm going to say that that is Elon Musk You are going to be right, my friend

00:08:54 - 00:09:37 | Speaker 1:

So he was a stop the steal person? Unfortunately, I don't have more context As to when this was said The politicians and unelected bureaucrats Who stole our liberty Should be tarred, feathered, and thrown out of town If I could speculate here I can't remember seeing Elon I mean, again, who knows what will happen by the time this is aired. I don't have a strong memory of him sort of defending January 6th or saying that the election was stolen. But I'm guessing that he's just saying our liberty is being infringed upon by politicians and bureaucrats who are acting, in his opinion, incorrectly.

00:09:37 - 00:09:47 | Speaker 2:

Maybe he's talking about a woman's right and liberty to do what she wants with her body. Do any of these libertarians stand up for that? Has Elon spoke up for women's rights?

00:09:49 - 00:10:00 | Speaker 1:

You know what? Let me go through the quiz here and see if he gets into that. No, they also don't mention anything about that. They do have this next quote, though, which is, I'm not the thief.

00:10:00 - 00:10:07 | Speaker 2:

The government is every year you make hardworking Joes like my reporter friend here pay income taxes.

00:10:09 - 00:10:30 | Speaker 3:

Hardworking Joes feels like burns to me, but I'm also concerned I'm going to get burned on this answer, but I'm going to go with burns. You are right, my friend. There was something about the phrasing. Yes, something about the phrasing. Oh, that's satisfying. I didn't want to get that one wrong Because I felt like I could hear it

00:10:30 - 00:10:36 | Speaker 2:

Also, the idea that Elon Musk Would be standing up for a reporter Seems unlikely

00:10:36 - 00:10:48 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, I could really hear that In the script or in the voice of The Simpsons So that's very satisfying I don't even care, this is my way of Buffering myself, I don't even care what I do The rest of the quiz, I consider this a win

00:10:48 - 00:11:24 | Speaker 2:

If there was a way That I could not eat So I could work more, I would not eat Oh god, of course, that's Musk Stupid Building beds for his employees Remember that movement That product Soylent Oh yeah I don't know I have real questions as to if anyone ever Actually ingested Anyone who was not a reporter Ever actually ingested Soylent It was one of those stories that was just like So perfectly designed For you know mid 2000s Like you know tech reporting

00:11:24 - 00:12:21 | Speaker 3:

like these these guys in Silicon Valley are so dedicated to their work that they don't even have time for eating they just eat this paste called Soylent it was such a yeah although I do feel like the last time this came up we had listeners who wrote in I'm even wondering did our listener and friend Ruby say that she had tried it I don't know I feel like somebody somebody had had definitely tried it in our audience someone had had Soylent what did you remember what they recorded it tasting like I don't remember that i also chicken i never quite understood why you would call it soylent the whole point of soylent is that it's made out of humans that was from the sci-fi story right so this was like i understand what the the product was supposed to do is like hey don't worry about the taste of food like we're just it's just it's just nutrients whatever we're tech workers in silicon valley go go go like whatever but why do you have to name it after a food that's supposed to be human how does that even play into the whole premise that's a really great oh you know what i wonder

00:12:21 - 00:12:34 | Speaker 2:

if it has to do i'm looking at it's spelled s-o-y-l-e-n-t okay is that does it have soy in it is that part of what the the soylent was about there's still a going concern by the way that's

00:12:34 - 00:12:37 | Speaker 3:

what it is yes i'm an idiot i'm sorry that's exactly what it is it was about i didn't know

00:12:37 - 00:13:14 | Speaker 2:

until i googled it until i misspelled it and then it came up on the okay um here let's so yeah that's oh go ahead sorry i cut you off well just to your point though like uh it still is it's still let's just say uh charlton heston is not celebrating what soylent is made out of at the end of soylent green like even if you're spelling it differently even if you want to mention also soy is kind of out of favor now i don't know if you know no i didn't yeah things that are really high in soy sometimes are seen as um you know uh that's maybe not always the best way to get a lot of your protein if that's the only way you're doing it etc like it just it seems like um they could have

00:13:14 - 00:13:25 | Speaker 3:

come up with a better name for it but um anyway i have a question for you let's go back and forth than this i must hold his pain where it is mine does not matter zodiac killer or a harbaugh

00:13:25 - 00:13:41 | Speaker 2:

i want to say that's harbaugh that is harbaugh congratulations i love this dueling quizzes i'm into this let's do it okay i like it that's fun um i should be able to run over as many kids

00:13:41 - 00:13:48 | Speaker 1:

as i want uh that's gonna be well that's gotta be burn harbaugh that's gotta be burns right

00:13:48 - 00:14:10 | Speaker 2:

That is in fact Montgomery Burns That would be Earlier I was trying to be Mr. Burns talking to Smithers And in the voice of Mr. Burns I told Montgomery to sit down What I meant to say was Waylon Oh yes of course Right Hit me with a Harbaugh Zodiac

00:14:10 - 00:14:43 | Speaker 3:

Can I do without my left arm Or left eye Is this one of those quizzes where it's all Harbaugh? No, and just so you know, I'm picking the quotes before I even know who said it, by the way, so I'm not playing with you here, but it's not a trick one. These are both Harbaugh and Zodiac Killer quotes. This one is, can I do without my left arm? It sounds like it should be the Zodiac Killer. It is actually Harbaugh again. I love this quiz. I've done this a million times. I love it so much.

00:14:44 - 00:14:48 | Speaker 2:

How about, since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun

00:14:48 - 00:15:40 | Speaker 1:

I already referenced that episode but that quote is so funny I'm just reading the burns ones because they're so funny it reminds me of the mr show skit where america wants to blow up the moon and people are like writing country songs about it uh it is fantastic i i'm not going to sing one of the country songs but um okay you want one now let's see yes um how about i'm picking this randomly i have always been here i am waiting for a good movie about me who will play me i really hope that's the zodiac killer that is the zodiac killer or possibly a forgery because of some of these letters it was unclear um but uh yeah that's how it goes let's

00:15:40 - 00:16:01 | Speaker 2:

see do we have time yeah i'll take another one okay uh let's see here um family religion friendship these are the three demons you must slay if you want to succeed in business say it again family religion friendship these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in

00:16:01 - 00:16:36 | Speaker 1:

business i want god i want to say that's musk but i don't even think that he i mean he has a family i mean that's the only like literally the only redeeming thing and all of this coverage of the chaos that's been going on around twitter is that is that um elon musk's child has been kind of hanging out with him in his office apparently at work i don't know if that's good or bad i mean i guess you could paint that in in a uh in a negative light too like no no work family balance or whatever but that's kind of cute i like to picture a little no i i have to say like i think that's

00:16:36 - 00:17:14 | Speaker 2:

as somebody who also did that with my child for very different reasons as in i didn't have a babysitter i think it's kind of that's a that's a touching uh part of this i do think it's going to be hard on that kid though because he'll tell a story someday of when uh the um police came and foreclosed on my dad's workplace. They kicked us out for non-payment of rent. It builds character. Since that will, that appears to be a distinct possibility since they've stopped paying rent on that office. Okay, hit me with another Harbaugh, or whichever one. I'm not sick. I'm insane. But that will not stop the game. Oh my god. Please let that be Harbaugh.

00:17:14 - 00:17:25 | Speaker 1:

It isn't. It's the Zodiac killer from his confession letter in 1966, but man wouldn't that have been something i mean the fact that you have to ask though is really the

00:17:25 - 00:17:38 | Speaker 2:

point of all this uh if you can take advantage of a situation in some way it's your duty as an american to do it that is 100 elon musk i'm gonna say monty burn

00:17:38 - 00:17:54 | Speaker 1:

i am now i'm sorry i am now in control of all things oh my god i feel like that could be was

00:17:54 - 00:18:33 | Speaker 2:

that like at some point did they also make harbaugh like the athlete was he was he with the niners at this point uh this is 2014 so i'm pretty sure this is the niners because i would not have known they like make him also the gm of the niners so that he could actually like that's the thing that's what always i feel that's what always gets coach head coaches because if you're a head coach you're always you know you're sort of butting heads with the general manager a lot because you want player x but the general manager is like we don't have money for player x or they have a different opinion about who can help the team and so when you're a successful football coach at some point if you have enough leverage you then can get to also be the gm and then that's usually the beginning of the end of your yeah because you have no checks and did they

00:18:33 - 00:18:38 | Speaker 1:

exactly for um what's his name who was before carol no holmgren didn't they do that probably

00:18:38 - 00:18:57 | Speaker 2:

yes i think probably that was the case with holmgren because he you know got us to a super bowl and was considered to be the i mean he was coming from green bay where he'd had a lot of success so he had a ton of leverage but yeah i don't it seems like coaches ultimately probably do better if they're paired with a good general manager yeah and it's probably makes it might

00:18:57 - 00:19:20 | Speaker 1:

feel like it makes their job harder but i do feel like also that is um that is i mean that's checks and balances but i am now in control of all i'm saying that's harbaugh when he briefly was also the gm of the niners unfortunately you are incorrect i can't find my buzzer here um you are incorrect that was actually the zodiac killer or i'll buzz myself out just buzz yourself

00:19:20 - 00:19:28 | Speaker 2:

out um morons pathetic morons in my employ stealing my precious money my precious money

00:19:28 - 00:19:35 | Speaker 1:

that's got to be burns yes although do you ever do you think that elon musk ever referred to his

00:19:35 - 00:19:59 | Speaker 2:

employees as morons i would put money on that oh i mean in private i'm sure of it and probably in public too probably considers it radical honesty how about this how about this one uh that's my lesson from taking a vacation vacations will kill you that is sounds like musk you are we're good at this game well he's his whole thing is just like you you sleep at work

00:20:00 - 00:20:01 | Speaker 3:

You don't stop working

00:20:01 - 00:20:03 | Speaker 2:

But he also goes to Burning Man every year

00:20:03 - 00:20:04 | Speaker 3:

He also goes to Burning Man

00:20:04 - 00:20:13 | Speaker 2:

I will be your alarm I would go to Burning Man Which would be like a weekend at Bernie's Con Has anybody thought of doing that, Burning Man?

00:20:13 - 00:20:45 | Speaker 3:

I'm asking you once again to burn that man That was me trying to do a Bernie meme You know that meme, right? I'm asking you once again It was always floating around It was like I think from a fundraising message Probably a video that Bernie released But then everybody takes a screen cap of it With the caption that says I am asking you once again And it probably finishes like To donate to the cause or whatever But then people always replace like The last few words So it's like I'm asking you once again To listen to TBTL or what have you

00:20:45 - 00:21:34 | Speaker 2:

Could we do a little Because we have a minute here Which is rare on these ones Could we pivot to a different Very rich out of touch person And a quiz that they have here in the New Republic Could we play a round of who said it jeff bezos or michael scott from the office yes please lay it on me okay uh if i hear that idea again i'm going to have to kill myself please be michael scott it's bezos oh no i'm sorry to uh have to do that to you how about this you want to hear a lie i think you're great bezos that would be michael scott i'm not so good you're way better at elon i really am or mr

00:21:34 - 00:21:45 | Speaker 3:

burns i've been studying i've been studying that one for uh for days and weeks getting ready for it um running up the stairs of the library and museum uh yeah all right the most sacred thing

00:21:45 - 00:21:53 | Speaker 2:

i do is care and provide for my workers my family i give them money i give them food Not directly, but through the money.

00:21:56 - 00:21:58 | Speaker 3:

The end, I think, gives it away as Michael Scott.

00:21:59 - 00:22:08 | Speaker 2:

You are right, my friend. I could see that being just like Bezos thinking out loud, though. Like, I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but, you know, through the money.

00:22:08 - 00:22:14 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean, that is the thing. Like, the way he treats his workers, yet he still thinks that he's a hero. I'm quite sure.

00:22:15 - 00:22:23 | Speaker 2:

Now, this one, I think, is going to be tough. Okay, I want to warn you up front. they say on your deathbed you never wish you spent more time at the office but i will

00:22:23 - 00:22:50 | Speaker 3:

i think and i could be wrong about this but i think that's from the office because i think i used that as intro tape when we were doing a week of shows based on the idea of regret do you remember that i don't know why but i think it was maybe before we started doing games during These pre-recorded segments of Our schedule and I think we were

00:22:50 - 00:22:58 | Speaker 2:

Using that Sinatra the my Wake regrets Right I've had a few I remember Playing that audio a lot for a

00:22:58 - 00:23:14 | Speaker 3:

Week and I think that we did two weeks of It's I think I was going around like looking for like Ten different pieces of opening tape that had Something to do with regret and I Feel like Michael Scott at one point Was on his on a sick Bed saying that that that He regrets not spending more time at the office

00:23:14 - 00:23:16 | Speaker 2:

How about this one Wait so I'm right

00:23:16 - 00:23:19 | Speaker 3:

You're absolutely right Yeah sorry about that

00:23:19 - 00:23:51 | Speaker 2:

You nailed it Why are you ruining my life Oh that's it That is Jeff Bezos That is Jeff Bezos I don't know the context But I could That sounds like a Michael Scott thing to me I wonder who he was saying that to Yes I mean it's so blunt You know How about this I don't understand We have a day honoring Martin Luther King But he didn't even work here

00:23:51 - 00:24:15 | Speaker 3:

Michael Scott Bezos No, no, no, no, no Michael Scott You know what? I lucked into that sickbed one Because I'm just looking in my archives here It was actually a similar scene in 30 Rock Where Jack Donaghy makes Here, let me actually just see if I can play this I think Jack Donaghy is making the same joke.

00:24:43 - 00:24:49 | Speaker 1:

participating in Hands Across America. And all the time I've been on this earth,

00:24:51 - 00:24:52 | Unknown:

I have only one regret.

00:24:55 - 00:24:57 | Speaker 1:

I should have worked more.

00:24:58 - 00:24:59 | Speaker 3:

Regrets.

00:25:00 - 00:25:02 | Speaker 1:

All right. There you go. A little trip down memory lane.

00:25:02 - 00:25:14 | Speaker 2:

All right. One last one here, because it turns out the New Republic's Who Said It is just a treasure trove. That's great. How about Who Said It? Rand Paul or Dr. Leo Spacheming?

00:25:15 - 00:25:19 | Speaker 1:

Oh, God. Can we just park here for the rest of the winter?

00:25:19 - 00:25:44 | Speaker 2:

I mean, Laura, thank you for that. How did we not know about this? Okay. I'm ready. Okay. Between my medical practice and this job I'm pulled in every direction That's Spichemin That is Dr. Spaceman Okay, good, good, good, good How about this I'm being unfairly targeted By a bunch of hacks and haters

00:25:44 - 00:26:02 | Speaker 1:

Rand Paul That is Rand Paul Good job I punched my neighbor over a fence dispute Yeah, right or was punched or was punched that's right yeah we have no way of knowing because the powerful

00:26:02 - 00:26:04 | Speaker 2:

bread lobby keeps stopping my research

00:26:04 - 00:26:14 | Speaker 1:

and your blood tastes like root beer your bones have completely disappeared

00:26:14 - 00:26:32 | Speaker 2:

we shouldn't presume that a group of experts somehow knows what's best for everyone oh god Is that Rand Paul? That is United States Senator Rand Paul. Oh, you silly goose. And I believe like optometrist or something. He's technically a doctor as well, right?

00:26:32 - 00:26:35 | Speaker 1:

He's a doctor. I didn't know optometry, but yeah, he's a doctor.

00:26:36 - 00:26:38 | Speaker 2:

Science is whatever we want it to be.

00:26:39 - 00:26:46 | Speaker 1:

Are you just doing that off the cuff or is that actually in the quiz? That's in this. It is, really. Well, that's Dr. Spichemin. We use that as tape all the time.

00:26:47 - 00:27:27 | Speaker 2:

That's right. How about this? When is modern science going to find a cure for a woman's mouth? Oh, God, that's Bechemin. Oh, man. It's like, let's see. I'm a physician. That means you have a right to come to my house and conscript me. It means you believe in slavery. It means that you're going to enslave not only me, but the janitor at my hospital, the person who cleans my office, the assistants who work in my office, the nurses. Zodiac killer. That's exactly right. God, Andrew, you are really developing a facility for these quizzes, and I, for one, am impressed. You know, we're going to have Chris Parnell on LiveWire.

00:27:28 - 00:27:30 | Speaker 1:

Oh, really? That's a good get. What's he doing these days?

00:27:30 - 00:27:40 | Speaker 2:

He's got, well, a few things, but he's got a new podcast that he's doing that I think is what they're looking to promote. But, I mean, all I want to talk about is Dr. Spaceman.

00:27:40 - 00:28:59 | Speaker 1:

Or the voice work he does for Progressive. Archer. Or Archer. Or Archer, yeah. I think I could be wrong about this But I think I have my history right on this So you know flow of progressive Fame sure yeah I believe She was only supposed to be Stephanie Courtney Exactly I'm a big fan and I think she was only supposed to be in one commercial I don't think or maybe maybe just one Flight of commercials or something but I don't think it was supposed To be an ongoing campaign the whole Point of that campaign it was in tandem With the Chris Parnell ones Where there was a box of insurance right and he was the voice of the box and the whole thing played the reason why she's wearing that like white apron and everything is because she was like supposed to be a salesperson in this place where you could go into a store the very first the very first commercials where you walk into an insurance store and you browse the aisles and you can pick up this box of insurance or that box of insurance and she was selling them and then chris parnell in a different kind of commercial represented that box of insurance by being a talking box and i think that is where the energy was supposed to go but then flow became a really big hit and they kept them going at the same time for a while progressive always has several campaigns going on but we're really like that was the origin of everything was like buying this thing now it's all about the name your price tool

00:28:59 - 00:29:37 | Speaker 2:

and now chris parnell is doing the coligard box it's because he's really dominant no he doesn't oh okay but okay i feel like the coligard box is the um is the air to the uh talking box i don't know what you want to call it genre yeah that i remember those ads with parnell's voice yeah i mean i just find you i'm sure talked about it pretty extensively on after these messages but i just find the whole flow progressive universe just to be such an interesting story of sort of how it came about and also i just think they do such good stuff with it yeah and it's just got so many different you know in the words of sarah koenig it is wild it goes in different directions

00:29:37 - 00:29:56 | Speaker 1:

yep and they're slowly introducing new characters that then develop over time like jamie was like just a small character but now jamie i'm almost wondering like that they're getting ready for like you know eventually courtney is going to probably move on to something else or or maybe retire i mean she's been doing it for so long oh my god she must be getting paid

00:29:56 - 00:29:59 | Speaker 2:

so much money i know i know and and well deserved

00:30:00 - 00:30:00 | Speaker 4:

Absolutely.

00:30:00 - 00:30:07 | Speaker 3:

I mean, absolutely. Like you say, then they do those commercials where she plays like every character in them.

00:30:07 - 00:30:11 | Speaker 4:

It's a real Christmas with the clumps. Exactly. Eddie Murphy type situation.

00:30:11 - 00:30:13 | Speaker 3:

Right, right. She's really talented.

00:30:13 - 00:30:23 | Speaker 4:

I mean, I've played her stand-up on this show before, right? Because, you know, there's a little video bouncing around of her doing stand-up where she's talking about the food that ends up in the 99 cent store.

00:30:23 - 00:30:27 | Speaker 3:

I don't remember that particular bit. I know I've seen her listen to her stand-up before.

00:30:27 - 00:30:43 | Speaker 4:

And the specificity of the weird food that she comes up with that's, like, discounted, I can't remember off the top of my head, but it's really good. Like, it was good stand-up. I get the sense that Stephanie Courtney could, you know, kind of do whatever she wanted. She's a very talented person.

00:30:43 - 00:31:09 | Speaker 3:

Yeah, although, I mean, I guess just the quick flip side of that now is, and this is another reason why they need to pay her really well, aside from her just carrying the brand forever, but um is because she you know anything that she does now she will be flow you know like if she appears in a movie not that she can't do those things but it will be a little bit of a distraction for casting directors because if you see her on the screen you will think flow right away

00:31:09 - 00:31:24 | Speaker 4:

right although i will say she looks pretty different in uh real life than she does as flow which kind of helps her a little bit can i play you just a little bit of stephanie courtney talking about the 99 cent store yeah flow from progressive just for those who have forgotten

00:31:24 - 00:31:53 | Speaker 2:

about Courtney you know it's really sad that my grand old days are the days I used to shop at the Mayfair my finances have taken a downturn and my family me and my cat are now shopping at the 99 cent store the 99 cent store for those who don't know it's sort of like the island of misfit products. It's like you walk in, hi, I'm Cinnamon Coke.

00:31:55 - 00:32:22 | Speaker 1:

Want to try it out? It's like, alright, well, only a dollar and I do have to drink. Hi, I'm a can of scallops that's been on the shelf for two years. Anyone want to take a chance? No. Hi, I'm a bear kind of cat doll with a t-shirt that says, you count at Washington Neutral. Can I be your special friend?

00:32:22 - 00:33:17 | Speaker 4:

I don't know why the t-shirt that says you count at Washington Mutual kills me. That's great. Cinnamon Coke. We love it. Thank you, baby. Let's thank some of our daily donors. they have decided not to spend their money on cinnamon coke or a bear in a t-shirt that says you count at washington mutual they've decided instead to donate that money to this program to keep it going and we could not be more appreciative of folks like minnie and estella lie in seattle washington thank you very much guys thanks also to jonathan clark out there in chicago illinois The Windy City.

00:33:17 - 00:33:22 | Speaker 3:

Just told Veeb yesterday that if I had a child, I might name him Clark.

00:33:23 - 00:33:25 | Speaker 4:

Interesting. Is that something you're considering?

00:33:25 - 00:33:29 | Speaker 3:

No. I just like the name. I also like the name Simon.

00:33:30 - 00:33:48 | Speaker 4:

Really? I think I like... See, the thing is, there was that... Was it an SNL? Was it like a Mike Myers sketch? Where he played a kind of a little kid named Simon? As you know, my name is Simon And I like to do drawings

00:33:48 - 00:33:56 | Speaker 3:

Right Because it was a play on something Because there was another Like a real life kids thing Where the things I draw come true Right? Do you remember that from the 80s?

00:33:57 - 00:34:04 | Speaker 4:

I feel like also he would say something like My mom won't let me have chocolate It makes me mental Yes, and he would call himself

00:34:04 - 00:34:08 | Speaker 3:

I believe he would also call himself a cheeky monkey Yes, right

00:34:08 - 00:34:14 | Speaker 4:

So Simon I do think Simon is a lovely name But it's got For me, I will not I'm probably not going to name your kid Simon when you have one.

00:34:14 - 00:34:23 | Speaker 3:

Oh, that's interesting. When we're taking the vote. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's such a deep pull. I would think that, like, there are other more prominent Simons. I know.

00:34:23 - 00:34:25 | Speaker 4:

Well, I really like Simon Rich, the writer.

00:34:25 - 00:34:26 | Speaker 3:

I think he's very funny.

00:34:26 - 00:34:59 | Speaker 4:

The game Simon. Anyway, another good name, Christopher, as in Christopher Anderson, up there in Everett, Washington. Nice. There's a certain, I've talked about this on the show before, there's a certain kind of Washingtonian who's from an area like maybe you could say you know, Windlock, Washington where our buddy Camaro Kev's people hail from where you get a certain number of people that'll just call it Worshington. It's a real old school state of Washington way to call it Worshington. I had some relatives in West Virginia who would call them Worshcloths.

00:35:00 - 00:36:49 | Speaker 1:

You know who does not do that? Neil Hodges of Seattle, Washington. Neil's elocution and pronunciation is absolutely perfect because he listens to this program. And our elocution and pronunciation is flawless. So he's learned from the best. Endured. Thanks also to Byron Oxford of Seattle, Washington. Wow. Very heavy Seattle presence. Thank you, Byron. Majorly. Plus Byron Oxford. That's a great name. It's a very good name. Very distinguished, distinguished person. Thank you, Byron. And then thanks also to Laura Evans, who's down there in Dallas, Texas. Ah, the big city. That's right. The biggest little city in Dallas. That's what they're calling it now. Thanks, Laura. Hey, thanks to all of our daily donors for keeping TBTL happening here. Well, look at that, Andrew. This is week one, right? of the TBTL Winter Games is now officially in the books. I've had a lot of fun, a lot of laughs. A lot of high fives, a lot of good feelings. Absolutely. We have some really great shows coming up next week as well, including our friend The Doctor is in, Andrew. Dr. Kirk Honda is going to stop by. We had him on last time around, and we did a sort of true-false quiz with him about things related to mental health, and people loved it. Yes, very much so. So he'll be here on Monday. We're going to talk to Dr. Kirk next week. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, thanks for listening. Thanks for being part of TBTL. Have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday. Please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. Power out.

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