Muse

Um, this is just for staff back here.

I need to ask you a question. Are you the actress Constance Carmel?

How did you know that?

Because I can't forget your film. The scene is burned in my memory. We watch through the eyes of innocent boys. They are looking through the leaves of summer at a lake in the woods. And as they watch, a vision rises from the water. A beautiful woman. Naked. Her body glistening in the sun Unashamed

You saw dingleberries?

A hundred times T-B-T-L Guess what day it is Guess what day it is

It's Friday, Friday Gonna get down on Friday

You know how I get down on a Friday? The only way I know how the old-school way, hanging out with my buddy, jamming old-school freestyle.

Were you just using a synthesizer? Nope. So you mean to tell me that all of those sounds were coming from your body? Yup. I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live it does take time and it is a pain in the ass my name is Luke Burbank I am your host are you sure that's what they said on Ask Jeeves coming to you from the Essex house hotel on the southern side of Central Park in New York City And let me just tell you, it was quite an adventure getting here from Portland yesterday slash last night slash early this morning. We can talk about it coming up. And I'm going to get all anecdotal on you. I haven't been through a trip exactly like that in my life involving an airplane and snow and things of that nature. Crab Rangoon, and things of that nature. Anyway, we'll get into that and so much more here on episode 3,888 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We tried to talk about this yesterday, ran out of time. But Starbucks, where I've already been, by the way, today here in Manhattan, I'm going soft. When I used to live in New York, my very favorite thing was to stop by one of those little, like, you know, breakfast kind of carts. It would be a little kind of, you know, trailer that somebody tows in, usually from some far outer borough of New York. They tow it in, like, three in the morning, set it up, make their coffee, make a little, like, egg on a roll. and what I loved was they give you the coffee in a paper cup and then for some reason they put the paper cup in a bag like a paper bag and then roll it up it's a very specific to New York thing and I used to get my cup of coffee in my bag from my guy down by One Center Street where I worked down in Lower Manhattan and today I got up and I was going to get a PCR COVID test over at CBS and I thought, oh, you know what I'd love to get some coffee from a guy in a little cart. And I looked around, and I didn't see anyone, and I thought, I'm not that familiar with this part of town. And so I just went in a Starbucks. Then I just went into a Starbucks.

This song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world.

Which made me feel like I wasn't fully embracing the New York experience. Anyway, speaking of Starbucks, they're putting olive oil in the coffee now.

Oh, my God, that's so crazy. Why?

Not like all the coffee that they make, but certain kinds if you want that. And it's because Howard Schultz had a conversation with one dude. We're going to get into that. And we're going to do some music for your weekend here on this Friday edition of the program. Plus, we'll talk to this guy, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Oh, he's hilarious, dog. Who is? Andrew Walsh. And he's joining me right now from, I presume, still snowy Seattle?

No, no, not too bad. Had a little bit of a flurry, but no, we're not snowing up here this morning the way you were snowing down there last night. So you were trying to leave Portland yesterday. Timeline gets a little bit funky, but it was basically yesterday afternoon slash early evening. We heard on yesterday's show that you were delayed by a couple of hours at first, and then you started sending me photos from inside the airplane. So I got the sense that you were sitting on the tarmac for a while.

Yeah, this is once again going to be the space-time continuum of everything. little bit tricky because this is a friday edition of the show you're hearing this on a friday at the earliest as the listeners but we're recording this on thursday i've got all written down back at home somewhere um this is all because i'm out here doing this tv story and uh interviewing depeche mode a couple of different times and a lot of scheduling so anyway sorry if it's overly complicated but what did happen andrew was the flight yesterday my flight was initially delayed by a couple of hours as you and I were wrapping up the recording and I was looking out and it was just kind of doing that thing where it was raining and there were like a few flakes mixed in and growing up in the Pacific Northwest my experience this is I guess pre feeling the effects of climate change and also the fact that I was a kid and I just desperately wanted it to snow I would have taken snow in the middle of July it's felt to me like the people in the you know the meteorologists of the world were always saying it's going to be a snowpocalypse and like it never was it seems like it just never paid off do you think they were using that term

back then not to get you off track but no it was just that's more of a modern thing right

absolutely and that's where the humor derives me using that term snowpocalypse or snowmageddon which is very much only a thing that was like we just i guess we got tired of saying the white stuff andrew yeah i mean you and i tired of that long long ago that's no better

yeah well i wasn't sure i asked that somewhat earnestly because i could have been a regional thing because i never heard that growing up but it was you know cleveland it snowed all it was

always snowpocalypse you know right exactly no i don't think that they had you know and i you know peace and love to steve pool and uh you know and uh harry woppler and then andy woppler i'm just This is the part of the show where I just name television meteorologists from my youth. I don't think any of them had the clever turn of phrase to say snowpocalypse. Plus, that kind of thing never happened in Seattle. And so when I heard yesterday back in Portland on OPB in the morning, there's going to be some snow. The Estacada School District is running three hours late. And it was just bare and dry in my neighborhood. I just thought, OK, the snow is happening elsewhere. and also even if they say it's going to snow in Portland it's probably not because this stuff is always overblown and that was even how I was thinking as I looked out the window and I realized I mean this is after we were recording and it was the snow was just the tiniest bit was starting to collect on the streets and I thought you know what I'll just my flight still wasn't for like three or four hours but I thought I'm going to do something very rare for me I'm going to err on the side of caution i'm going to get in my car i'm going to drive to the airport i'm going to park in long-term parking i'm going to just go sit in the airport and do my depeche mode research even if i'm sitting there for three or four hours because maybe there's a small chance that me being home like me waiting my usual like until the flight is in one hour that might not be the best play here and let me tell you it is good that i decided to channel my inner andrew oh good i thought that that was going to go the other way as it typically does but this is not one of those times i as i was getting like got in my car and i'm driving and it's starting to snow a little harder and it's starting to sort of build up a little more and then i get onto the freeway the i-84 it's usually like a 10 minute drive from my place to get to the airport and i noticed that snow's coming down now pretty hard and cars are going real slow and it's starting to build up on the freeway and i'm going to the exit for the airport and it's just stopped and i start thinking let's just all this i i realized this is going to be a situation here pretty soon this is going to be one of those things where people are ditching their cars and just walking and i was like let me just get to the airport before that situation fully engulfs portland and i think i beat it by like 30 minutes i got in got to the airport got parked and then you know even as i was walking through the airport i was noticing it was like a whiteout and it's just like sticking everywhere the entire all the runways the tarmac everything's now covered in snow so uh our flight was delayed um not because of snow initially but because it was having mechanical the the airplane itself had mechanical trouble in dallas supposedly so the airplane finally gets there i ask the person i go

are we gonna leave on this airplane today and the woman just looks at me and kind of goes supposedly which is not always the thing you want to hear from the person who's kind of in charge of that but we get on the airplane and that's when the real situation began andrew because we all get seated and the pilot immediately apologized because we're already a few hours delayed at this point. He says, sorry, we're running late. The good news is they've put us first in line. for de-icing and so they bring that thing over and they're spraying down the plane with some orange solution that i learned later takes the snow off and then some green solution that keeps the new ice from forming and they get us all de-iced which takes like 45 minutes i mean that's the kind of thing i guess they should be thorough about you know like well okay might as well let's let's let's go ahead and give us the cadillac service of ice not forming on the wings of the airplane so they get that all done and then the pilot comes on it i have become from all my traveling pretty adept at like reading the tone of voice of the pilot when they're about to say something bad and i could just tell right away oh not good the pilot goes sure uh captain speaking so we have a generator on the back he's explaining it in very great great detail There's a generator at the back of the plane, which something about when it's hooked up to power from the, what do you call that, the walkway, it's fine. But then when they unplug it, it's got to be on its own power. And when they unplugged it, it didn't have power and we can't leave until that's figured out. And they're opening the jetway again. We may have to get off the plane. So that was like kind of a bummer. So we sit there for like another, I don't know, maybe two hours while they're on the plane. They're not letting us off the plane. Two hours or so while they figure out what's going on. And the good news is they get it fixed. We can fly. But we now have lost whatever benefit the de-icing did the first time. And we're at the back of the line for being de-iced now.

So have you moved around a little bit here and there? Like they've taxied here, they've taxied there.

Oh, no, we haven't moved. The airplane has not moved. It is sitting in place. And Andrew, there is now what looks to my eye like at least eight inches of snow just piling up like I was sending you pictures. And that was actually early in the game. So I thought you asked if I moved. I did move at some point. I was like they kept saying, OK, we're you know, we're about to they're going to come to ISIS and then we're going to push back. And I was like, I feel like I could pee. also i was just bored so i went up and asked the folks can i use the restroom and the the flight attendant said oh it's locked because we're about to push back and i was like oh okay she goes i can call the captain and ask and i was like no no no no no no no no no no no like no i

don't want i don't like being responsible for more exactly oh my god let's get this bird in the sky

i do not it's fine and so i go and i sit in my seat and then the flight attendant comes and is looking around for me and she goes where is where is he where is he is he over here where is he and

where's my little p-boy where's my p-boy yeah p-boy yeah i go are you talking to me she goes

yeah i called the captain he said it's fine if you use the bathroom so i have to walk to the front of the plane while they unlock the bathroom door and then all i can think is make this pee so fast that everyone knows you weren't pooping like it just became a i didn't even finish i just like i cut it off midstream because i was like this needs to read to everyone as this guy didn't have diarrhea because everyone on the airplane is now watching me because well we're all very bored at this point so i go back to my seat it is from that point still another probably hour and a half before the de-icing is complete before they get over to us before they finish it one person comes to the front of the plane with their bags and asks if they can voluntarily leave the flight wow just like get me off of this to get me off of this thing we sat on like in the plane locked on the plane they didn't let him off actually they were going to let him off and then it was like actually guess what we really are going to take off and so i guess he decided to stay but people were losing their minds we were sitting there for at least three and a half hours maybe four hours before we even began the process of getting out to the runway and it's worth noting

that this is not a short flight this is not a flight from seattle this is the beginning of a like you're just even if there weren't delays if i were sitting down in my seat on a flight from oregon to new york city i would be like okay this is a kind of long one not the longest in the world obviously but it's kind of a long one and i got to kind of emotionally brace myself for that like this is two movies or two movies and three sitcoms or whatever you know and so then like as as you're sitting there this is my worst nightmare this has never happened to me to any great lengths but with even small delays at the beginning of a flight I start thinking of these types of stories that you heard a lot about a while back remember years and years ago there was all the like flight what was it the the flyers rights bills or what have you you uh-huh yeah i was it was it was complicated because i was because i'm impatient i was growing increasingly frustrated with the situation but the thing is the people that you have contact with the flight attendants we never saw the pilots they were like we're not coming they're like thank god there's a lock on this cockpit we are not coming out we never saw them but even the pilots the people that you have contact with are the people least responsible for this you know what i mean like the flight attendants i mean that is a tough draw because you just have a plane full of people that are ready to fight and you are also probably annoyed that you just lost six to eight hours of your life you know waiting for this thing to work itself out i mean that those folks also but so i had to really like make sure that i wasn't being snippy or like somehow taking out my frustration on them because that's like you know obviously totally unfair but i was having real like fly flyers bill of rights thoughts myself and so finally they the plane starts moving backwards and i'm not even sure how this is possible because andrew there's like eight inches of snow everywhere there are no other planes taking off the airport is abandoned at this point i think we're only taking off because we were already on the plane and the airline has made a decision about what the cost would be to put us up because mind you so far the delays have been other than the de-icing the delays have been mechanical on their part like amidst all of this so we are now driving towards the runway and i am videotaping this on my phone furiously because have you ever been driving your car in too much snow and you're just like okay okay i guess this is working but this could stop working at any time but it's dry right so your car's kind of moving along but it's bumpy like and you're kind of always on the verge of spinning out that was what was happening in an airplane with i don't know 300 people on it like we were bumping along in like eight inches of snow i swear to god i don't think this is actually possible from a mechanical

standpoint i swear to god when we finally got to the point where it was like it was about time to turn and get on the runway which you know they groom the runway i think like by the way thanks

republicans for ruining that i was i was like is there a joke there you know what there's no joke

i mean that's just another word that they've just ruined because they you know have just made it part of q anon they they they you know they they plow the uh the runway so the runway itself i think is like reasonably snow free i mean there was like a fleet of snow plows there but get they don't i don't think plow the like going up to the runway because that would just be that would take so much time and different planes are coming from different angles so as we're going in the snow i swear to god we're about to like make a left turn and get on the sort of drier patch of runway and i feel the pilot gunning it and i feel the tires spinning out a little bit like before they can connect with whatever now the reason i don't think that makes sense is because there's no power to the tires i don't think on an airplane i think that the jet engines provide the thrust and the tires are just sort of passive so i don't know if that would that make sense from kind of like a physics if you if you if you were to kind of like add some some thrust from the jets could the tires

spin i don't think so but i swear that's what it felt like are we it never occurred to me that the tires on planes are completely without power is that a factor really i'm i mean i'm not saying

you're wrong it just no no i'm pausing because i don't want to i i do not want to say that is a fact um and i don't want to say that that's something i know to be a fact it's just my assumption because like think about it think about how much torque you'd have to put how much like torque you'd have to put to those tires to move an airplane and also you'd be crazy plus

you see airplanes being moved around like being pushed and pulled on runways sometimes don't you buy a little like tug tug yeah a lot actually yeah in fact i think in a lot of cases you can't

you cannot push the airplane back there has to be somebody in one of those little like golf cart deals that's pushing you out because it's probably too dangerous to use the jets in

that close proximity you want to talk about a job man you must feel so powerful you're like this little person in this little this little comical looking uh vehicle i don't even know the name for But you're pulling this massive thing that can fly with the birds. Anyway, go ahead.

Speaking of the wonderful and hardworking and I believe undercompensated ground crew at PDX, I believe that's the case at most airports, the people that are doing some of the hardest and most important work and are often the least thanked. I couldn't tell if they were loving it or hating it. it because it was like they were in like you know ankle to shin deep snow running around like it seemed like it'd be more complicated but also kind of fun because it's not every day that you're just like basically on a ski slope all of a sudden you know like they were just kind of hanging out making snowballs chilling waiting to hear what was going on typically when they say we have a mechanical error like the door won't close properly or something i'm like just take off just duct tape it like whatever we'll all agree no one go touch the door okay like i just want to get where we're supposed to be going when we were taking off i was taping it on my phone because i thought this may be i'm hoping this goes to the cloud because this may be the end of my life it was one of the only times where i was like should we be doing this should we be taking off right now and it because it was so snowy and then we take off and we move up into where the snow is just like a thousand million ice pellets per second just flying by the window and hitting the wing and then i'm like did they de-ice that enough i'm just watching frozen water pummel the outer skin of the airplane and particularly the wings and just thinking god de-icer do your job please like i was kind of like i don't know if this is the greatest idea that we're leaving uh that we're taking off in this weather and i never have that thought i'm

always just like get me where i'm going uh you know i think i had that thing happen with my um microphone again where i was talking and you didn't hear me so uh sorry listeners if you're wondering why we were talking over ourselves but i wanted to know really just for a second i was jumping in because i just wanted to ask were you were you joking about the grounds crew sort of like having downtime and actually making some snowballs and stuff because i was going to ask you that is a joke because i figured they'd be all like freaking out but no they actually did have downtime and we're just kind of screwing around a little bit yeah they had a lot of

downtime because i think all the air traffic kind of came to a halt and so but also i was impressed at how much of the equipment there is clearly like rated for operating in the snow um like their little the little thing that pulls the airplane back those apparently work in the snow Like I said, they had a lot of snow plows. They had various trucks and things. Like, they were able to get around and still do, you know, their job. But, again, once the luggage is in the airplane and until you pull it back and the one person, like, holds those two, like, light sticks and then, like, crosses them and whatever they do. Like, this was kind of – I think it was sort of a pretty low-impact day for them because there was kind of nothing going on.

Interesting. Yeah, because at first, I mean, I could definitely see that going two ways. You could also just see them just out there, like in this mess of weather, just getting wet and cold and miserable. But it was dry.

I mean, it was the most. So Becca was sending me like videos of walking around her neighborhood and she had like bubbles in the backpack. And like it was if you didn't have if you weren't trying to fly to New York City, it was a kind of a glorious sort of snow because it was dry. There was a lot of it. It actually wasn't that cold, which is, I think, why this happened. You know, it was just right in that kind of spot where it was just cold enough for it to stick, but it wasn't like bitterly cold. It wasn't five degrees. And so I think I actually think for the folks that were working that day, it was kind of probably kind of fun because had there been 50 planes taking off and landing, I think it would have been a hellscape for them. But it was one plane sitting and waiting. And what I will tell you, Andrew, is we got here at 4 a.m. Oh, yikes. So I was effectively on a red eye. So let's see. It was supposed to land at 10 p.m. It landed at 4 a.m.

So when you say it was supposed to land at 10, that was already the delayed time, correct? Or was that your original flight as you booked it?

No, original, when I bought the ticket. And by that, I mean when CBS Television bought the ticket. I think it was a 10 p.m. landing time. And I remember thinking, all right, 10, I'll land, I'll go right to the hotel, I'll try to get a good night's sleep, I'll get my little Central Park jog on, I'll just be in the right frame of mind to do some TBTL, and I had a whole little, like, you know, series of events in my mind, and that was all pretty much upended.

So, you were probably on the tarmac, before taking off, you were probably on the tarmac inside that plane for four hours, do you think? Oh, easily Before a five, maybe five and a half hour flight Maybe five hour flight

It's weirdly, it's weird I think because of the jet stream Yeah, it's a long day I heard the flight attendants referring to it as a ten hour flight Meaning the time between, like, combining waiting on the plane And then being in the air They were calling it a ten hour experience to each other I overheard them saying it in context confidence to each other so that's i mean that's a pretty decent that's a pretty accurate

representation of what the trip was like i mean tell me more than about the four hours not what was going on with the plane but what was going on with the people like because again i'm not somebody who loves long flights i don't i mean actually i'd be interested to know who does but um somebody uh but you know if you told me that i was flying to the east coast tomorrow it's gonna be about a five hour flight that's not super excessive but i would still be like okay like i say i would think well maybe i'll watch one movie and i'll take this book or whatever i'd sort of have a expectation for that but if you told me hey listen i'm trying to think what is a 10-hour flight like we flew 13 hours to get to like our first stop in australia right and like that was the longest flight of my life and now you're talking about a flight that was like just three hours shy of that i just sort of feel like i if i'm leaving my house and preparing for a flight that's either five hours or 10 hours that's a really big difference and i and then when you're on the flight you have the uncertainty when you're on the tarmac i should say you have the uncertainty of not knowing like is it just going to be this one hour like how long am i here like

were people going bananas people were really keeping it together i think i was probably the most unruly passenger other than the guy who at the guy who very nicely asked if he could please just get off the plane uh and i would i videotape i was being kind of a maniac i videotaped that too i just watch too much tiktok now where i'm constantly trying to document everything in case someone you know flips out yeah this feels like a scenario in which somebody could go

bananas and you want to you want to have the definitive tape but he did it the everybody was

like the you know everybody on the plane the passengers were incredibly calm nobody that i saw or heard got into it with the crew or the flight attendants or anything i actually like when i say i was the most unruly i um at one point this is in like hour three and a half actually might have been even longer than that that we're just sitting there and the pilot comes on and says um something like he's explaining what's going on with the de-icing and now we're back of the line and he goes something like and you know i know it's i know it's frustrating and i think i just said from behind my mask you think which is the most absolutely pathetic feckless thing you can do just into the void the pilot is again behind a locked door they cannot hear you me just saying you think also from behind my mask it was like you were hoping for the most

moment you thought that like the the other passengers would get behind you no it was

involuntary it was involuntary also i was a little i was a little well whatever it doesn't matter i But, you know, people can probably figure out that I was on my beloved, and I do mean this, my beloved Alaska Airlines. So I didn't want to foment a rebellion because I do love them, and stuff happens, right? But it was also funny. I had this small, I wouldn't call it an incident. It was just a joke, but I'm so sensitive. When I got to the airport, and again, it was many hours before the flight, I went up to the gate. I think a lot of people do this. like if they get if they're at the airport early they walk to the gate where their flight is just

to make sure that it exists yeah put eyes on it of course i always you gotta get eyes on it you

know i do that yeah if you've got the app i do it too and i'm much more of a kind of like you know fast and loose guy but there's something about you just gotta get eyes on the situation before you can then go to like whatever the like you know pub is or something and so i went up there and i asked i said is this do you think this flight is really gonna happen and that was when they told me well it's on the way here it had mechanical problems in dallas but like one of the things i know from so much air travel is the name of the game is do you have an airplane like if an airplane has your route's name on it and it's en route to you that's that's a win when you're really in trouble is when they don't have a plane and that happens actually more than you'd think so so then i just i was like okay so it's happening they go yeah maybe we think it's gonna happen the plane's on the way and then i don't know why i made this joke because i actually had no plans to do this but i go okay i'm just trying to figure out how drunk i can get because i'm like because if we're not flying out then i'm i can't have any drinks because i got to drive home but if we are and then the woman just looks at me and she goes but not too drunk because we will not let you on this flight and i was like oh okay that was i'm so many thoughts flooded my head a i had no plans to actually get drunk i was trying to be funny probably not being very funny but i was trying to be funny that was thought number one like i'm not actually going to get that drunk thought number two was i cannot tell you how drunk i've been getting on flights before and i've never been banned from one so i wanted to say i am not gonna drink but if i was i would be handling it based on previous experience um but then i just laughed and walked away but then i was like i didn't have anything to drink but i was like as i was finally boarding the plane i was like. normal dude don't act like yeah like i was like do they have it in their mind that this guy is like gonna be too inebriated to get on the plane yeah like they have they have eyes on you now i was legitimately concerned i was like just be cool dude just play it like you're fine you're okay everything's okay you went to the henry's tavern and you had a club soda you're okay but i was like if i do something weird are they gonna like pull me aside that's how i am just anytime

i'm driving at night i haven't had a beer in three days but i see a cop and i'm just like okay act sober idiot like wait a second i got and by the way that that makes it other day that makes it sound freaking me out just to be very clear that sort of makes it sound like i've been in like situations where i've been behind the wheel where i shouldn't be i i will say this that that's like the one thing in my well maybe not because we talk about my strict boundaries but like honestly that is not part of my lifestyle at all you know this luke i'll take a bus i'll take a car you don't like to drive sober no i literally don't which i mean honestly like there's nobody less there is

nobody i would i would happily bet my life that you are in the 0.000000 first of all if we just if we go with the last 20 years of your life you are in the 0.0000001 percent category of people who have ever been behind a wheel and haven't even like been wearing too much cologne exactly Because you're like, you don't like driving anyway. You hate all of that, the hassle, the parking, the stress, let alone if you've had a beer or something. I literally cannot imagine you piloting a vehicle after having anything to drink.

I think just early on in my life, I was like, well, that is the one thing. I remember even being in college, and I was kind of an annoying college kid who thought he was always asking questions. Not in a conspiratorial way. I didn't have a don't tread on me flag and like an escape route in case the government came down on us. But I just mean that, you know, I love the idea of philosophically approaching any kind of topic and realizing how complicated the world is and talking about it in ethics classes and with your friends or whatever. But the one thing that was never like negotiable for me was like, is there any argument for ever getting behind a wheel if you've had something to drink? Like, there's just no, you know, other than your own selfish convenience, there's just like it's it's I just remember, like, I've always been very, like, strict about that. So anyway, I don't know why I'm telling everybody that I made a joke that sort of made it sound like I'm used to trying to skirt the law after I am leaving a bar having had too many drinks, which is just something that is not what I do. But anyway, that's not the interesting part of this story. So how did you entertain yourself for four hours? I mean, at a certain point, that was sort of like just no, I had so much.

i was reading a biography of the band depeche mode oh that's right you were kind of cram and yeah for your and i did for once in my life i was actually pretty smart which was earlier in the day i had downloaded all of the research that i needed in other words i had turned everything into pdfs all these interviews with the band and things like that and um and then also i had purchased this um D.A. Pennybaker documentary about Depeche Mode that was made in the late 1980s, I think, called 101. And I had actually purchased it on Amazon and then downloaded it to my computer. I had downloaded to my Kindle this biography. So I actually had plenty to do. So that's why it's like I kept trying to remind myself that I'm going to be sitting somewhere doing this. I'm going to be sitting somewhere reading this book and then watching this film and then composing some questions. And like it's either going to be in the airport waiting area or it's going to be on this plane or it's going to be at the hotel. You know, it's like I kept trying to remind myself that, you know, there's nothing about this that is like actually way worse than than just sitting again in the airport doing this. It's just the feeling of being on the plane. I kept trying to check in with that because it really was like I had I had like six hours of research to do. And guess what? I was I was trapped in a tube for six hours to do the research. Like it actually was fine, which is why I'm embarrassed that I yelled whatever it was. I yelled. Yeah, right. Or what did I say? I've already forgotten what my you think my Attica was.

You think you think were you in first class? I was. Yeah. So that's a huge difference. Like if I'm if I'm coach middle seat, my experience of this is.

Well, that's why I mean, yeah, I need to check my privilege to like that. And I will tell you this. First class is so much, so much more comfortable than coach and such a privilege. But my my butt was hurting, like, you know, like when you're just sitting on some kind of hard surface for too long. And I was thinking. i can't believe there's not a an absolute riot in coach right now because i'm in the most comfortable part of this airplane and i am like starting to get like my butts falling asleep i'm starting to shift in my

And this is all before we've taken off. Right. And I was there were kids on the flight. In fact, there was a woman we were waiting who had, I think, maybe four daughters, like two. Maybe they were two sets of twins. I'd say two of them were maybe like three, four years old. And then the other ones were maybe like six and seven. And this woman was incredible handling her kids like in the waiting area, just like the way she talked to him was really cool and like not talking down to them, but also kind of meeting them at their level. and like she just had it figured out and she seemed to be traveling alone with her kids and she was giving them like a pep talk about how to be on the flight and everything and like i mean and they were not in first class like oh my gosh like i don't know how those kids didn't lose their mind i mean just the fact that they're the fact that there wasn't some sort of incident on the flight particularly for people that didn't have the privilege of being up in the front of the plane is it's a testament and also a good good chance for me to check my privilege yeah i would be i

I mean, even as an adult, I would be so squirmy. I just think about and again, and I'm not just saying this because, well, they don't sponsor the show anyway, but Alaska Airlines like I know that we would we would take it. We certainly would. But like I whenever I'm on one of their planes, I think the last time we had a somewhat long flight was, I guess, around the holidays heading out to Hawaii. We did not have a an exit row, just a regular seat. But like I couldn't believe how like sitting down the seat in front of me did not bang into my knees like that is just such a given with any other airline I'm on like you're I'm literally squeezed in there. And that's before the person in front of me puts their seat back, which, by the way, I'm going to use the word victim here on unknowingly. I know I shouldn't, but like I have not been the victim of somebody putting their seat back on my knees in a really long time, even on Alaska. where there there was more leg room anyway um i wonder if people are doing that less

i wonder as well like if it's just like we were talking the other day about how people now tend to pick up their dog poop more their dogs poop more and we stand outside when we smoke and it doesn't seem super weird i wonder if that's one of those things where we've sort of like shifted as a culture um i certainly know that like i never recline my seat regardless of if i'm in coach or first class like that feels like a you know an act of aggression yeah um i know you wouldn't as well and it does seem like it happens less and less and it also i will tell you if someone reclines someone in front of me reclines that is an act of war i am i spend the rest of

the flight being mad at that in coach though right i mean in in any class you wouldn't even

notice well because in first class it's like dude these seats are pretty comfy like do you need it to be even like i mean do you want me to find different grapes to hand feed you nero like is it not is this not comfy like i would never recline my seat in first class for the same reason it's like there's plenty of cushion here we're all fine we're lucky to be up here we don't need to push

back um and then we should probably move on but quickly because i've always wondered about this like i assume that you know there's no there's no snacks there's no beverages because they can't deal with that whole thing because they don't know if they're going to take off at any minute right and also they don't want people to fill in fill in their tummies and then having a long line to the bathroom i assume that it's like again you're like before you even took off you had basically a

four-hour flight without any of the amenities um they did this is when i knew things had gotten like serious and that the flight attendants were trying to just basically keep everyone from melting down they did actually come through first class and offer us a drink which they don't do anymore like that there's no pre-flight this isn't mad men um you generally do not get a drink before you take off and but in like hour two of sitting there the flight attendant came through and said like does anybody want to drink and you yelled yeah because i'm starting to sober up exactly my BAC is reaching dangerously low levels so you know anyway all that is to say I'm here in New York Andrew I made it and I'm very excited to go meet the guys from Depeche Mode I'm excited to talk to you about Starbucks putting olive oil in their coffee it's all happening so everything turned out okay I was able to get I passed my COVID test this morning my PCR test which I I had to go to what's called the broadcast center there's all kinds of stuff that happens at this kind of cbs headquarters here and i put this picture on instagram which i'm probably not supposed to do but it's funny because i'm like walking around this warren of hallways at the broadcast center then i come around a corner and there's just like a big in in uh comic sans printed sign that says covet testing for the drew barrymore show or slime time so i guess we have something on cbs It's called Slime Time.

Oh, CBS must own Nickelodeon. Is it all under that same umbrella? I don't know.

No, but I don't know what Slime Time is, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear that it's a show for adults, Andrew. I feel like we've entered the slimification of America.

Yeah, Paramount owns Nickelodeon. Paramount also owns – Okay, there you go.

So that would probably be – if you would have told me, though, that there's now a show that's hosted by The Rock called Slime Time where first responders have to try to do an obstacle course, and I would be like, yeah, that totally – it's Dwayne The Rock Johnson. and the guy who played Hurley from Lost are co-hosting a show for adults called Slime Time. I'd be like, yeah, that checks out. You know what it is?

Okay, no, there are two things. There's something called Slime Time Live, but it's a Nickelodeon thing. But also Slime Time is where the NFL parks some of its games. And I've never gotten my head around this. Have you heard about the NFL airing some games on Nickelodeon like for real during like is it like super wild card weekend or something they do it a lot and

what they do is it's like a it's a like activated version of the game i think it's a i think it's a way to try to trick kids into caring about the nfl like children and so the game is they're watching the game but weird stuff is happening like things are getting slimed and the end zone is changing colors and stuff like that oh it's kind of like they're watching the real game but

it's got different announcers and then a bunch of like digital effects or whatever for the kids

and have you watched it i've just seen clips of it or i've maybe seen it in passing but i've never like it's not of interest to me like but but it looks like wow i think i'm aware of the what

what generally goes on oh interesting um wow that's interesting also now now of course i'm going to a dark place i'm thinking like what a dangerous game it is and then you think like what do what do they do during the really bad injuries i guess they probably cut away a lot faster than the than the like adult versions but it's like you're right it is it well here it is again it does feel like grooming oh no two grooming references in one episode i mean doesn't it sort of seem like like the candy cigarettes of 2023 well yes i mean absolutely it is it is

actually you're right in the most literal sense it is the nfl saying can we do something to get nine-year-olds who otherwise wouldn't care about football can we get them into the pipeline to become lifelong consumers of this product yeah anyway well i took the fun out of that you know what let's take a break let's get it together and then let's come back and we present tbtl slime time this is where every time andrew is talking that sounds i'm activating some kind of a sound effect and or slime on him just trying to get some more young listeners

On your mark On your mark Get set Get set Now ready Ready Go Everybody rattle Dazzle Everybody rattle

Let's thank some dazzling donors today These folks are dazzling us with their donation of dough We spend most of it on slime But some of it also on radio equipment and our salaries and things like that

Well the problem is the slime gets into the equipment Then we have to buy more equipment But then there goes our slime so we've got to buy more slime. It's a vicious cycle.

It's like, you know, the microphone and the slime and the equipment are on one side of a river, Andrew, and we're trying to get them into a canoe to cross the river. It's really a conundrum. Thank God we have Susan King. Susan King of New Prague, Minnesota. Hey, look at me, finally remembering how to say that town.

I didn't even remember that correction, but I'll go with you on it.

Yeah, I believe it's one of those. I was thinking about this the other day. well god don't don't go dark luke don't go dark unfortunately there's you know um there's the town in ohio that's had that train derailment i think it's called palestine yeah and that's a new novel new palestine it's a novel pronunciation of that name and then i was thinking about all the different cities in america that are a word or a location that looks familiar but we're saying it kind of different like new preg i mean that should be new prog minnesota but we're going with new preg why because susan king says so that's right susan susan would really like to clarify a few things in her donor message she says you always uh include my husband lel as if we are a couple's donor but actually he's not even a listener that's funny well i don't know i don't

I don't know why APM has that name, so it must have been. Well, so explain. Oh, here it is, yeah.

I made a donation for him in his name a while back to increase your donor numbers by one. That's a favor to TPTL. Aw, Susan.

Susan. Thank you.

And then Susan says, well, to be fair, he did come out for a beer when you guys were at the Bauhaus Brewery in Minneapolis. Okay, so we did see.

for a minute anyway i on the other hand am a daily listener i truly love you both andrew as my steady kind puttering friend that i want to hang around with every day and luke as my sometimes naughty hot-headed yeah right hot-headed reactionary friend who i want to go to las vegas with boy That's a real snapshot of, although I got to tell you, man, be in 46, soon to be 47. I don't know if anyone wants to go to Las Vegas with me. I'm really slowing down, man.

Unless we go to that bar that we went to in East Las Vegas.

I know. And there's a decent chance I'll wet myself. Anyway, to both of you, thanks for so many sweet moments, lots of laughs, and letting us into your lives so intimately. P.S. When are you coming back to Minnesota? Well, when the snow thaws. yes certainly yeah and i mean that in portland maybe more so than minnesota yeah no kidding

man actually i should have checked in with our minnesota friends man they they were hit

really really hard this week my hope is that a place uh uh sorry i'm getting texts about this interview uh that i have to go do which is they're asking uh do you ever get a text where somebody He says, hey, Depeche Mode is asking if we can move the interview up, so just head over. Did you ever get a text like that in the middle of recording your podcast?

So we were already down to a few minutes, but now you have to leave early.

And I need to shower.

Oh, no.

Yeah, this is not how the plan was supposed to go. Susan, none of this is on you. This is on me. And so I just want to say thank you for supporting the program, and we will be coming back to Minnesota just as soon as I'm done showering and interviewing Depeche Mode. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dattle.

All right. We've also got to thank Rich Eagles. Pronouncer. Rich, like as in not bland. Eagles, like take it easy.

Interesting that Rich not like bland was chosen instead of like not poor, which I like. Because there's two different meanings. Yeah, exactly.

We don't need to define ourselves as rich versus poor. Right, exactly. Rich, like as in delicious. Exactly. Rich is in Westchester, PA. Now, here's what Rich would like to say with his allotted time. Annual plea to support Amigos of Costa Rica, which is at amigosofcostarica.org, because Costa Rica is awesome. It's full of animals. And you should do a TBTL-a-thon or show there. Don't tempt me with a good time. Although I don't know if you're allowed back there After your time at Secret

No I have a Are you kidding me They have something called Andrew's Law at Secret Oh wow

Number two I noticed three other Dazzlers from Westchester this year I don't know any of them personally But with four of us We're a hot zip Oh nice You sure are Number three Can you play the Chargagagagag drop for me maybe before the power out do you happen to have that one i do not unfortunately and i didn't see

that when i chose this can we play that later in the week at some point can we remember that here

oh nice i thought for sure on the case i thought maybe you didn't bring the computer with that

audio on it to new york i'm so glad it was in your suitcase that drop migrated to this particular

macbook air oh and i accidentally talked over top of it that's not fair to rich eagles can you hit

it again lake char gog a gog match hog a gog shall boon a gun the mug nice yeah thank you rich

you're welcome rich there's your 500 and thank you also i hope it was worth it uh number four

could we go out with or add to a music for your weekend where do you go to my lovely by peter star said honestly you could do an analysis it's like a donovan contemporary with andrew vibes singing a song to a female luke wow well luke vibes okay well you want to make that the the music for your weekend let's do that let's make that the listener are you able to find something that fits in with whatever that yeah i'll figure this out i'll figure this out yeah okay all right hey thanks rich and thanks susan we really appreciate you all right let's do a little music for your weekend yes i know we did not uh get our uh top story in but that's just what happens when you're you know slime timing a major television career like i am sometimes things just get moved around and andrew i appreciate you rolling with it i really appreciate the listeners waiting all weekend to find out why starbucks is putting olive

oil in the coffee i know i was actually i'm about to go on i'm about to go on another podcast where that's one of the topics and i was really hoping that you would prep me oh man

I'm not even joking. I was like, well, Luke will have something to say about this, and I'll just repeat it on K-U-O-W.

Just say this. Just say this. It may not be a great business model to create an entire line of products because the founder – or not the founder. That's another thing. Howard Schultz did not found that company. He just was like an early kind of operations manager of it. But it may not be a great idea to have the CEO of the company developing product lines because he talked to one guy in Italy who said, A, have you ever tried olive oil in your coffee?

Yeah, and I don't even know if that's the story. It's sort of, well, whatever. I'm very confused about the origin of this entire thing, but luckily- Read the article that I have, the CNN article. I have, yeah.

Extremely thorough. It is, it's almost too thorough. He was in Italy, a guy in Italy said, have you tried this in your coffee? And he started doing it and he fell in love.

I thought that it read that he had already struck up a friendship with the olive oil guy and they were looking for a way to partner. And the way it was written in this confusing CNN article, It sounds like Schultz then went back to him and said, well, what if we put some in our coffee? And the guy's like, I'd never heard of that before. Maybe I misread that, but I thought that the origin story was weirder than that. Or maybe it was just written in a confusing way. Either way, I'm going to be on with that guy, Tan Vinh of the Seattle Times, food writer. So he should have a good handle on that. Maybe I can steal his takes for TBTL on Monday. But we don't have time to talk about that. We have to get into music for your weekend. You got to get out of there. I'm going to play this song. I'll try to keep this short Our friend Camaro Kev is a huge Chromio fan, the kind of electro-funk duo, I would have never heard of them if it weren't for him but because I am friends with him, I hear too much of it No, I like Chromio, it's not usually my kind of music, but he's really kind of got me to, you know, enjoy it when I'm hanging out with him. I got a press release yesterday saying that Chromio and a DJ named A-Track who's, I believe, brothers with one of the people in Chromio, have teamed up with this rapper in chicago named rick wilson i'm not sure if you know rick wilson i might have played some rick wilson on the show before for music for your weekend but this is a rick wilson track that has chromio and a track providing the music it's called pay it no mind and it's pretty dang good.

Tell them pay no mind, mind, mind, mind to it Tell them pay no mind, mind, mind, mind to it Tell them pay no mind, mind, mind, mind to it

And just keep glowing while they hoping that you're ruining Uh, yeah, you were like I played for the Raptors Ain't nobody else dunk faster Who the fuck is slapping the macka? Talking hella shit like a pastor Tell by my slang, I don't fuck with no pack It's talk tough, but the energy be backwards I'll have to bring it down there.

But it is a really great song. Check out the whole track if you can. It's called Pay It No Mind. Yeah, it's brand new. That song is, you can feel the heat coming off my computer. That's Rick Wilson with Chromio doing the music there.

Anything that Chromio gets involved with is usually something that I'm going to enjoy listening to. I think I've told this story before, but I was at Sasquatch once, and I happened to be kind of like, had weaseled my way to the side stage, And the guys from Chromio had just played a set and they came off stage and they just looked at each other and they kind of embraced and looked back out on the crowd and they had exactly the expression of like gratitude and amazement and being stoked that you would just hope any band would have after playing like a cool set to a bunch of screaming people like they just seemed like they were digging it, which was really kind of fun to see. Yeah, that is great. All right. I am going to, because again, it's Depeche Mode week on the show. I'm going to suggest this new song from them. I think it's actually pretty good. Like, listen, was I a Depeche head in my life? Maybe not. But as I've been looking into their music, I'm like, damn, these folks had a lot of songs that I could sing practically every word to, you know, from, like, People Are People to Personal Jesus to Blasphemous Rumors to, like, you know, their whole 90s thing. Like, they have generated a lot of hits, and I've just been kind of really listening to a lot of them the last few days, and I've been like, you know what, I dig this. I'm glad, you know, it's a little gothier than I usually go for. It's a little more of, as I've said, I'm not very much into hosier, the blending of the sexual and sacred, But somehow I'm giving I give Depeche Mode like I grandfather them in maybe because literally they're grandfathers at this point. But like I'll allow it. And so this new song of theirs is called.

ghosts again it's from this their forthcoming album which is memento mori and i just figured i don't know we got some depeche mode fans out there that probably dig this it's it sounds very depeche mode to me and i mean that as a compliment so can you play that

We'll be right back. See what it brings

Hallows, goodbyes, a thousand midnights Lost in sleepless lullaby Heaven's dreaming Thoughtless thoughts, my friends

all right we should probably jump in there before spotify yanks our uh feed but you know very it's like it struck me as like a very depeche mode song like i enjoy it i i really genuinely think i like the music of depeche mode which you know before i got this assignment i i would have said

a medium but i i find it comforting i don't know if this is on streaming services or not but i was not a huge depeche mode kid growing up but i had one single actually like a cassette single that Maybe it was a Maxi single, Luke, because it had like four or five different versions of Personal Jesus on it. But the reason I bought it was because the last one, I believe, on the cassette is an acoustic version of Personal Jesus. I don't know if you know that version, but I love it. Enough to buy a single in the 90s. So keep an eye out for that, too.

Definitely. Now, the song. Oh, we have a song. I was just going into my script here. But yeah, what's the name of this song again? And were you able to find it?

Yeah, I got it here. Obviously I haven't previewed this But this is what Rich Eagles wanted us to play In his Dazzling Donor message The name of the song is Where Do You Go To My Lovely And the artist And I am struggling with how to pronounce this But it looks like Peter Sarsdet Sarsdet maybe And that is what we'll go out with

Alright Thanks Rich for the suggestion And thanks to all of you for listening this week We are going to be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for you. I'm sure I'll have lots of stories of my trip back west, so just set your watches for that. I'm sure it's going to be fascinating content on Monday. In the meantime, have a great Friday. Thanks for listening, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. And my file is fine, Luke. Bye. You can run.

We're doing that on the air now. And there's diamonds and pearls in your hair. Yes, there are. You live in a fancy apartment Off the boulevard Saint-Michel Where you keep your Rolling Stones records And a friend of Sacha Distel, yes you do But where do you go to my lovely When you're alone in your bed Tell me the thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes I do I've seen all your qualifications You got from the Soroban We gotta clear the snakes out of the cockpit

Yeah, yeah, clear the snakes out of the cockpit, yeah Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane. Everybody strap in. I'm about to open some freaking windows.

Power out.