Muse

Obviously, your kid needs a male role model. Because I'll be honest with you, he's soft. Weak and soft. Because he's four. Because he's your son. No. You spend all your time reading books and looking at numbers and letters like they mean something. They do. Do you know how to read? I get by, all right? What do you know? You know, like... Red means stop. Great. Green means go. Good. Yellow's the other one. TBTL! well you have found my flabbergast button and guess what you've pressed it do you eat chocolate

yes do you eat do you drink soda yes do you eat fatty foods yes and a lot of people ask me are you eating cookies late at night and i say of course i am what we are dealing with here is a

perfect engine uh an eating machine it's really a miracle of evolution that must be weird for you

Uh-huh. Kimmel's now the new king of late night, and you're still doing a pod cart?

They say, you snooze, you lose. Well, we snossed. And look what we lost.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. You know, this show is like a dynasty. You hold it, and then you hand it off to the next person. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Oh, hey, y'all said my name.

Coming to you from the future home of TVTL and the River House studio perched high above the mighty Columbia River where it's just kind of gray and rainy here, which I guess we'll take as a blessing because a lot of folks in different parts of the country are dealing with a lot of snow and more snow, a lot of snow, a lot of ice. Hope you're doing okay out there, wherever you are. Hope that episode 3,889 in a collector series...

Let the fun begin.

...brings you a little warmth, a little levity today on this Monday. I was bringing some levity to the members of the band Depeche Mode on Friday when I was interviewing them in New York, and there was a moment where you have to get this thing called Room Tone, which is after the interview is done you all sit there kind of awkwardly being very quiet while the sound person gets about 30 seconds of just what the room sounded like with no one talking and then that's given to the editors later it's just a standard part of uh of doing this and it's how they can sometimes make things sound extra great later you always get room tone they said all right 30 seconds for room tone everyone and we're sitting there and um Dave gahan the lead singer of the band we're sitting there quietly for about 10 seconds and then he starts talking to his buddy martin the other guy in the band and i had to say to the guy from dave dave just enjoy the silence i cannot believe he just told that joke that is a real thing that i said to those people on friday and um as i wrote on instagram i don't regret it so i've gotten that out of my system is the good news and all i have left for today's episode of tbtl is top notch humor speaking of top notch humor i actually got to watch the colbert show uh or whatever it's called now late night with stephen colbert i went to a live taping of that show uh on thursday night and it was pretty interesting the late show podcast is brought to you by cloud fog uh i'd never been to uh apparently i've never been to one of those shows before it's an interesting piece of production that maybe we'll talk about uh also i was at an airbnb this weekend celebrating my daughter's birthday and uh you know another airbnb for me another complaint about the people who own the airbnb that i was staying in now that's interesting like the swallows returning to capistrano luke complaining about his airbnb situation is um well it's a naturally renewing resource right here on tbtl uh as is apparently the missteps of one woody harrelson who did uh his snl monologue this week he was hosting he was inducted into what they call the five timers club you know he was hosting it for the fifth time and he just like fully went anti-vax during his monologue it was you gotta be kidding me Very strange, so we'll try to get to that as well. We'll definitely get to this guy, the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He lives his life by one simple motto. Life's a potty, wipe your body. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Good morning, Luke. It finally happened to me.

My neighbors thought I was crazy, but then it finally happened to me. I had some friends over here on Friday to play darts. No, it was Saturday.

day um in my basement because we wanted to do something me and a couple of buds but i don't like to quote leave my house so i said why don't you guys come over here we'll play darts and as you know luke i play a lot of darts in my basement and while i don't think i'm necessarily a good dart player compared to other dart players i'm okay because i play all the time it's my happy

place i just listen you're very good compared to normal people probably not as good as those weirdos you see on espn 7 weirdos definitely you could smoke you could smoke any normal person at darts anyone who's not playing two hours of darts a night well that's what you'd think right um i

because i had my my buddies over here and now the truth is i hadn't been playing as much darts in my free time lately i mean some but not as obsessively as maybe i had in prior weeks so i'm setting up the board i'm explaining like hey listen we're not gonna play we're gonna play cricket but just we'll ignore the points but it'll just keep it easier but also you know when I play with Genevieve I you know have to like we have to put in certain rules I don't know if we use the word handicap anymore and it seems like a bit seems like a word we probably don't use in these contexts anymore but like you know when I'm playing with Genevieve I have to we have to play a certain way because I'll end up just like kind of crushing her and the game won't be very interesting and so I kind of go through all of that but I'm like let's just play standard at the beginning and like just see where the night goes and then i lost oh no yeah do i know these friends are these people that i'm also friends with who beat you uh j-dog aka hauser yeah yeah yeah uh-huh so he's probably hearing this now he's probably and you know him i mean he was losers in other words he was just i mean he was dancing over me he was sticking his fingers in my face yelling wow just kidding

Just like randomly sticking his finger, pointing at you or like giving like four fingers? What was going on?

Just like just everything smacking me and just saying, this is what happens to losers in this house. I said, this is my house. Yeah, it was very uncool.

You're like, didn't you see that sign we have outside? In this house, Bozo did the dub.

That's right. Now, I don't even remember him taking any kind of victory. I don't even know if he took a victory smile, to be honest with you. But I was deeply embarrassed about it. I've been thinking about it. I got to get better. Have you been now?

Yeah, in the movie of your life, are you now in like a kind of a progression scene where you're just going back into the dojo of darts and just like probably to some kind of song by Survivor in the Burning Heart or something? You're just like working out, doing push-ups, throwing darts, just getting better so that will never happen again?

Not quite yet. Here's where I am in my journey, and this actually affects you to a degree, so this is one of the reasons I wanted to bring it up. um no what i did was i took a day yesterday i took a day off of darts i didn't throw any darts uh and then i'm going to do the show with you yep you know yep and that because i want to i tabla rasa and then i want today after the show today i'm going to be entering a four-day darkness retreat uh no andrew not even a crack of light will come in yes we are never going to get through

today's episode because i have so much to talk about with you related to the darkness retreat that it's not even on my list of things to talk to you about. I want to complain about Airbnb requests. I want to talk about the warm-up act at the Colbert Show. I have so many things to talk to you about. We don't have time for an hour on darkness retreats, but let's get into it. Okay, good. I just found out that the darkness retreat, I believe it's called Sky Cave, that Aaron Rodgers went to, and by the way, left early. Aaron Rodgers must have left early. I didn't know that. to get out of that sky cave it's in Oregon Andrew and I watched a whole video where a different guy stays in this thing and they're like filming him he's on some like YouTube channel or whatever and they're filming him with like infrared camera so you can see him like perfectly um but he's in complete darkness if that makes any sense and it's what was he doing fascinating and well he's sleeping like the first night he sleeps for like 16 hours but he has no idea if it's been one hour or 16 hours they tell him where his food is he's crawling over to the food and then he's kind of eating it and then like at certain hours of the day somebody will you know put your food through some kind of a slot in the door um that's set up in such a way that it doesn't let a bunch of light flood in and i really thought we should try to do this and oh interesting well

let me ask you this so i i assumed it was a totally a sensory deprivation thing but it's only the sense of sight it's only the light huh like so they're talking to him it's not a silent

retreat that surprises no no there no one's taught well the video that i watched no one was talking to the guy this guy so there's basically again i think he's on some kind of youtube show let's just call him jake

Thank you.

So Jake goes into the Sky Cave thing. They shut him. I don't believe he's locked in, but the door is closed. And he is going to live in there for five days. And his friends are just kind of on the outside speculating, creating hashtag content, going, we have his cell phone. He's never not had his cell phone for a day, let alone five days. And then we're just cutting back and forth between them outside speculating on what's going on and then him inside. And I'll be totally honest with you. I only watched like half of the video. So I don't know what happened for this particular guy, Jake Like if he got to all five days Because, you know, I have a short attention span Which might not be a good predictor of me making it five days in Sky Cave

But there is some communication though that let us, the viewers Or at least him, his friends, know that he was mistaking about how much time he spent in there How do we know that his sense of time was messed up?

Because he says, I don't know how long I was asleep

Oh, I see. He's post-morting it. It's not a live thing. He's sort of he's out of it now.

And no, no, no, no. He is. No, he is just they do have some kind of recording device set up in the in the darkness room. And he is talking to himself, but in a way that we're hearing. So he wakes up and he goes, I don't know if I slept for an hour or 16 or I don't know if I just slept for an hour or how long it was. And then there's like, I think a voiceover from his friend saying like he slept 16 hours. I see. So, OK, it's a little confusing, but this is the point. that thing is in Oregon and also I think I saw that Aaron Rodgers only could do two days in there where I think he was trying to do four and I saw a headline that said he left early I did not

know that Aaron Rodgers must have left early that is interesting I didn't know that also I mean this is a small point but for those who are following this closely um you know our Green Bay uh our number one Green Bay Packers fan Lisa now in Chicago um says uh you had a small correction because I and I kind of knew this Aaron Rodgers never claimed that he was going into this four day darkness retreat to make up his mind about his his destination whether he's going to stay in Green Bay or move to another team this is just something he's doing because he's always trying to expand his mind and blah blah blah blah blah and suppose you know he's never said I'm going to emerge from this and then say what team I'm going to play from people have been sort of conflating those although that is a big decision on his mind as he goes into this darkness retreat

Now I want to say something I want to clarify something if I can Now I am I'm trying to get the sort of Final report on if he stayed in His full four days or not And now I'm wondering if maybe he actually did go all Four days, I'm kind of trying to do this on my phone Because you know I'm not in my normal studio Set up, so

Although it sounds good in there, I was going to tell you I wouldn't have even known Until I heard during our pre-show Chat, I heard you mention something to your dad It sounds like your dad is working there today And I was like oh you're it

My dad has started really using the F word a lot And it's slightly unsettling to me At my age and his age But he came in to say that he had Bleeped something up Out where the studio is going to be He was drilling into a wall and he drilled into An electrical piece of electrical wire But he was really mad about it I love my dad He's very hard on himself If he has a mistake Which is like that just happens And he was walking around the basement tripping some breaker and muttering the f-word to himself well i don't know what's changed or

maybe it's just a coincidence but you sound because you did a show from your construction site last week and it didn't sound terrible but it was more echoey you could just sort of tell you're on location today it sounds like nice and uh it's not echoey it's a nice dry broadcast sound so i don't know what you're doing oh good doing it well i have a little i've got my little

kind of broadcast station here now that I've set up and it's just what I was this is this is a very boring place to take this but what I was doing before was I was in a different part of this room there's basically one room in the house that has any semblance of heat and so and then there's one table there was one table in that room and it was actually like an outdoor it was like a round table that you use for like sitting on a patio and having some food or something I brought that inside and that would double as the place i would do the show from if i was here and also where me and my dad would sit and eat uh our dinner at night and so only this morning did i decide i'm gonna go find another table somewhere in this house and set it up in a different part of this room so i don't have to constantly set up and break down my gear every time we want to eat and so i'm in a slightly different part of the room i'm in a little alcove yeah and i'm looking out on the river and i even went outside and took the screen the like you know whatever screen off of the window so i have a better view of the river i've got a hummingbird feeder in my line of sight which i'm going to put some sugar in tonight and this is for the foreseeable future until things are ship shape in the new studio this is where i'll be doing the show so i'm glad to hear that

it sounds okay yeah it must have been just a slightly different shape of the room being in that alcove that it sounds really good.

let me just let me try to provide some clarity on the Aaron Rodgers thing which this is only muddying the waters I had heard that he was going to do four days in there right that was the plan and then I swear I saw a headline the other day that was like Aaron Rodgers emerges early from his darkness retreat which is what I was telling you earlier then I was googling around as we were talking because I didn't want to I think Aaron Rodgers does an okay job of besmirching his own name i don't need to uh unfairly besmirch it and now here's what i'm getting from the guy who owns the sky cave retreats in oregon the packers uh quarterback reportedly has completed his darkness retreat um uh the the guy but here's the thing the guy who owns it said uh that the four-time mvp spent several days and nights at the ashland oregon facility that's not four days several days and nights is not the same as four days so are they are they are they trying to slide on the fact that aaron rogers couldn't take all four days in complete darkness that's what i'm trying to kind of are they moving the goalpost as it were are they basically doing what the nfl does every time he plays which is trying everything they can to make him into a winner like that isn't that does not make it sound like he did now i probably couldn't do four hours so i'm not i'm not saying i would do better but we still don't have a clear answer to the question of did aaron

rogers make it through all four days yeah that is interesting and also by the way this is the um this is the best promotion for this person's retreat i didn't i kind of didn't realize it was a business until we had this i'm going there next week i already booked it i'm doing the show from skycaves everybody's talking about it here's the deal i will agree to go into four days of complete darkness but only after i play classical music for the entire prison

is that that is a shawshank it truly was a shawshank redemption um i did i did i will you're right it's a great ad for this place and also i did find it to be very intriguing as an idea i think what would happen to me is i would be initially feel like I was it was fine I'd probably sleep for like 12 hours and then I think I would completely freak out because I would you couldn't be more alone with your thoughts than that and almost everything in my life is trying to not be alone with my thoughts and if I was able to get through that part of it the realization that it was only me and my thoughts I don't know I might actually get to somewhere that was kind of a you know somewhat therapeutic like I do think that's a lot of my life is just trying to distract myself with sights and sounds and sensations and things that make it so i'm not really just sitting i mean somebody once said all of all of man's problems can be traced back to a man's inability to sit in a room with himself i definitely suffer from that and i wonder if if a couple of days of this would maybe kind of reset something or breaks break through something some wall that i have i don't know i did i did think it was kind of an interesting idea

well to bring it all you know full circle i guess if i'm practicing darts in complete darkness for four days that'll get me really good at it when i come out and i can actually that's like luke

skywalker yes blindfold on he's got a blocking those lasers i was shooting at him from the ball

yes i'll be i'll be terrible at playing darts with the lights on but you blindfold me and you take me to local bar and you start placing bets that's what a party trick yes okay we've got our

next business it's dark hustling you you you be the you'll be the dart smith i'll be the like you know hype man i'll set up all the deals uh this could be really big yeah i can see i mean i know

it's 2023 and this is going to seem somewhat anachronistic but i do think that you need a horse-drawn carriage to pull me around to all the saloons in okay yeah no definitely that's part of

the bit okay okay let's take a break here because if i start to launch into the this airbnb situation Our first break is going to happen at about the one hour and 57 minute mark. So a quick break and then back with more TBTL in just a moment. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right. Let's just kind of get through this Airbnb situation quickly, if that's possible. Now, I was in New York the end of last week, and then I went directly to Seattle and then got a rental car and drove to, I guess you'd call it the greater Shelton, Washington area, Allen, Washington, actually, technically, where I had rented this little beach cabin for Addie and I to hang out and celebrate her birthday. And it's an adorable place, and I just really want to say we had a love. time like the story of this weekend is not that we had a bad time it was that the location was really cool the cabin was really adorable i will say though andrew that i found myself from like sort of when i went to bed on saturday night until i got up sunday morning and began the process of kind of straightening up the airbnb i found myself really shadow boxing with the owner of the airbnb because the list of things that uh that we needed to do upon checking out was let's just say detailed and lengthy um uh the guy sent me this list and he i will give him credit on this he goes oh by the way let me know if you got that i sent you a very long list of information about the about the airbnb let me know if you got it so he said admittedly a very long list so he seemed kind of like i mean he seemed like a nice enough guy when we when we were interacting but then i start reading the list okay um so it starts with well let me just tell you this i believe it has 27 points it's a 27 point list andrew about the maintenance and care for the airbnb and it starts with uh you know welcome point one welcome ann and i are here to serve you and have the best day possible number two check-in is at 4 p.m. or after unless otherwise arranged number three island speed this was on this little island called treasure island island speed is 15 miles per hour please comply at all times people have little kids and grandkids darting out okay this is all cool number four the beach the treasure island park is directly in front of the cabin go there use it have fun but now all caps please do not walk or use beach areas in front of the island homes those beaches are considered private property thanks okay again still we're i

think this is all reasonable so far i would rather that all the beaches weren't private on this island so we could have taken a nice beach walk but it is what it is uh point number five quiet after 10 p.m no large no loud partying uh and then number six is just has to do with the code for getting in uh number seven uh we want to make your stay exceptional so if you have a problem text uh the the the husband and then has his phone number um number eight please park on the gravel driveway uh but by the way the big fir trees drip pitch sometimes especially in the summer months now that's thoughtful that's just saying hey watch out you know these trees are dripping some pitch so we're still everything is still working for me um a third of the way into this list then number nine has to do with the the heaters and how you operate them and like don't leave them running too hot etc number 10 coffee is there have it um they had a keurig machine with some coffee so a number 11 involves pots and pans number 12 the barbecue if you use it clean it now that's starting to feel a little like frustrating to me i mean do you feel like it is is it a given that if you use well you are different than me andrew but if you used a barbecue at an airbnb i mean i guess it just takes a minute to brush it off so why wouldn't you clean it but there's something about being told if you use it clean it that starts to feel a little like i don't know

kind of like i don't know and harsh to me well at the risk of getting ahead of ourselves or maybe even repeating things that we've said in the past when these when these topics come up what you're starting to hear is we had a list we had a list of things that were helpful tips and tricks and access codes and a few you know rules about neighbors or whatever but then the list gets longer with every passing guest because somebody did something right somebody like rented this place and left it shitty and it might be one of the like for me i would much rather see if you use the grill please brush it afterwards you know which i actually think is very reasonable actually i think that like brushing a grill giving it the first one when it's still hot from the from the cooking is going to do you a big favor the next time you fire that thing up you're going to want to brush it again the next time you use it but to get the big chunks off right after a meal i think is actually you should do that that is good grill maintenance but i wonder if like you can start to hear the frustration seep in and maybe they had a nicer version i'm not defending this by the way because i'm a i really don't like um aggressive tones or irritated tones coming at me when i'm a customer somewhere but that's what we're seeing here and it goes it like it vacillates between

really friendly and like i said he was very friendly in the texts he sent me but then sometimes things go all caps on this list oh you're exactly right oh yeah we're we're getting there point 16 towels please reuse your shower towels we have a septic system there are plenty of towels in the

main bath hang them on the hooks in the bathroom before you leave so they don't get yucky sometimes it takes a few days for our cleaning lady to come um so you know please reuse your shower towels it's like because there's a there's a washer and dryer there so i think what he's trying to say is if you could not unduly run the washer and dryer i don't know how that relates to the septic maybe i actually i genuinely don't understand how that relates to the septic but he's asking people to please reuse their towels which again is like i don't know it's a little bit on the line i'm renting this place i'm paying you good money there are towels there's a washing and dryer a washer and dryer if i wanted to wash the towels in between using you know yeah and also that's not as forcible

either like that's one that i'm going to look at and listen i don't this might rankle some of our listeners but i'll be honest i i look at that one and i say i'll i'll decide if i'm going to be reusing my towels this is exactly what i would say i am the one who towels i will because like especially if you're saying that oh by the way towels don't really dry that great here too because it's the pacific northwest and it's the winter and it's a cabin like who wants to like on your on your nice holiday break even if it's just for a day or a lifetime wants to go and use like a towel that's starting to get a you know that's been sitting out you're trying to dry it over a towel rod but it didn't fully dry or it did but it's got a little bit of that sharp smell to it like screw that like no like i'm i'm paying to use the facilities here now again i don't know the internal workings i know people who have cabins often have the if it's yellow let it mellow like be easy on our pipes or whatever like maybe you got to really be careful about stuff like that but like if there's a whole bunch of towels as they're saying i feel like if i was there i would probably just use a towel a day and then if i felt like i was gonna get in trouble i would just wash

do a load yeah i don't understand how the septic system is is relevant it might they might say please don't flush anything other than toilet paper in the toilet because we're on a septic that would make sense but the towel thing someone will probably email in and explain it why that would matter but number 17 just says the laundry the washer and dryers in the bathroom number 18 and now we're starting to really get we're starting to get down to it a little bit dishes and kitchen please load all dishes in the dishwasher and turn it on before you leave soap is under the kitchen sink please wash all pans and wipe all counters put tablecloth in with the laundry in the bathroom thanks exclamation point like okay so do all of the dishes and wipe down all of the countertops and take the tablecloth off and go put it in the bathroom in the with the laundry that's going to be done by the person who does the housekeeping now i don't have any intention and I would never leave an Airbnb in like a sorry state but I probably also wouldn't necessarily wipe every counter down because I'm paying $150 in a cleaning fee for this cabin and so it would seem like that's part of what the $150 covers is things like again I wouldn't leave it I wouldn't even leave a sink full of dishes I would put them in the dishwasher I would you know like I'm not a slob but when you get into this like you're gonna need to wipe down all the countertops it just feels to me a little bit like what are we paying the cleaning for yes this is

reminding me of something i heard on another podcast recently and i'll try to make this quick and i'll just say what we're getting into here too is people's perception of what cleanliness is and maybe that's why things have to get specific on these lists or maybe don't have to but end up getting specific on these lists because i was listening to a podcast you would not have heard of it it's a sports podcast out of uh miami and um i wouldn't i wouldn't bring it up twice gloria estefan that's exactly the sports machine podcast exactly no but um one one of the one of the people on uh the levitard show was talking about how he had this weekend very recently and he got dinged on on you know a review by the person who owned the airbnb about how he and his friends left it messy and he's like are you kidding me and he goes on this whole thing he's like so defensive he's like you know we i i bundled up all the trash and you know there was no receptacle so i left it by at the door or whatever and they they complained about like muddy footprints all over but i mean it was like in the midwest in the middle of winter and it was kind of like it was one of those things where he started off very defensive but as he described that this is a man probably in his um i'm gonna say 20s who's maybe a little bit of a man baby and amongst his crowd he is the neat one but as i'm listening to this i'm just like oh no dude you are you're you're a bunch of bros who were there for a football game for an nfl game going and so the person in this particular instance ended up like having communications with this person and went back and forth but it was like oh everybody sort of thinks they're neat you know um but then there is a sliding scale on those things and again sorry to reference this weird conversation i heard another podcast i don't know if that made my point for me or not but like i am a neat person i'm obsessively clean so I don't know. I might look at, let's say, Genevieve's decision to leave, you know, dishes in the sink or dishes out overnight or something. And I might just be like, what are we living in a barn? Are you kidding me? Is it the apocalypse? Like, but on the other hand, I people will tell me that I'm way too uptight about that kind of stuff. And yes, it's totally acceptable to have a few plates in the sink overnight, you know. So I think that, again, what we're seeing here is people's varying degrees of what they consider neat and if they think they're a neat person but by my standards

they're not we now andrew have arrived at item 19 and this is where i feel we have we've sort of touched the main nerve of this situation and it involves wool blankets there were no fewer than three laminated signs posted up in various places in the cabin explaining what we should and should not do with these wool blankets these Pendleton or as they made as they listed in one sign locally sourced well I was like well we're in Washington and it's actually from Oregon but okay locally sourced Pendleton wool blankets so there were like two sets of bunk beds in this cabin and each and and then a larger bed so there was five total and each bed had i guess like a wool blanket at the kind of at the foot of the bed and i guess these were pendleton blankets and let me tell you andrew they are very worried about some kind of harm coming to the blankets number 19 wool blankets and now we go all caps please do not wash them if you soil them for any reason now we're going back to lowercase if you soil them we will have them dry cleaned and we will deduct the cost

from your security deposit so they're saying if you get it dirty don't wash it because you'll ruin it these are wool blankets we'll wash it but if you get it dirty we're going to charge you

yes if you get it dirty don't whatever you do do not throw them in the wash you set them aside and you self-report that you soiled our locally sourced pendleton blankets so that we can then have them dry clean professionally and charge you for it i just and i know that this is i think the

point here and something again that we've said before but like if you have to have notes like this over things that are very very valuable and special to you then don't put it in a place like you're you're renting this place out as a quasi public place like this is where i get caught because like i don't like airbnbs for various reasons but this is basically it like if i'm in a hotel room there might be a little sign that says please try to reuse your towel but like for the most part it's like they understand we have built this service we have built this building we have built this business around the idea that people we don't know strangers are going to be coming in here we need to choose paint that can withstand people coming in here we need to choose blankets that can withstand a lot of washings we need to understand that like everything that we're doing for this hotel that we're building is for the public and for heavy usage and you're not going to have like special Pendleton blankets that we're going to charge you a special fee for I mean unless you like set fire to a bedspread or something now I understand that like the idea of an Airbnb is like oh well this is something special and like you know we look you can build an Airbnb commercial around like the inside of this designy place that has these special blankets and everything but you gotta find some middle ground like once you're once you're renting this shit out to the public it's to the public god i hate airbnb i love airbnb but i don't know if i

can do it anymore andrew like this was again i had a great weekend it was so much more fun to have this there was a fire pit outside that we sat by my sister hannah and my niece marion and and and my brother-in-law chris came by like and we played games and like all this stuff that we couldn't have done if we were just in a hotel room or at least it wouldn't have been as cozy for that so i love the the utility of an airbnb but i i feel like it happened in denver when we were there every time i'm in an airbnb i'd become obsessed with if i think the owners have unrealistic expectations and what you said about the hotel is really good foreshadowing okay everyone remember what andrew said because that will come up later in this list so uh remember we were talking about the wool blankets which i agree with you it's like if you have these pendleton blankets that you're so worried about them getting hurt just go to target and buy some knockoff like fake wool blankets that you can throw on the end of the bed that'll give the same general vibe and then you don't have to spend so much of your time worrying about someone harming your pendleton blankets it's like do not have them out and about if you're going to they had a sign on the washing machine i told you there was three laminated signs one was in the kitchen just randomly i took a picture of it i could probably send it to you for a show pick one was on the washing machine do not put any pendleton blankets in here they were trying to like make sure that no one however sort of un under informed they were about these blankets could actually manage to get these blankets in the washing machine there were so many safeguards uh you might say a ridiculous number of safeguards

now continuing with the blanket theme and again good like protect your blankets don't put them

in your airbnb that you're renting out thank you lock them in a closet and then when you come stay here for yourself bring them out enjoy your blankets the way you see fit don't let us the hoi polloi have access to these precious precious locally sourced blankets from a different state I don't know why that bothers me so much. I've been to the Pendleton Wool and Mills in Pendleton, Oregon. It ain't Allen Washington either. Like, sorry. Okay, point 20, fold wool blankets and set on chair. So this is now getting into the breaking down the bed situation. So just to recap, we've done the dishes. We've washed every pot and pan. We've wiped down all the counters. Now we're in the process of breaking down the beds. And it starts with taking the treasured Pendleton blankets off the beds, folding them, and setting them on the chair. I will mention that a lot of this stuff you might just do instinctively. Like if you were going to strip the bed, most of us aren't just going to throw the Pendleton blanket in a heap somewhere. It probably naturally would occur to us, but there's something I'm being told to do it that kind of irks me. And then number 21, fold quilt with cover and place at foot of bed. Number 22, remove used sheets and pillowcases and place in bathroom to be washed.

That's the only one that's needed. Just do that. Everybody will figure out what to do with something. I don't want to pull the pillowcases off. And in fact, I didn't, Andrew.

I drew the line because I'm not a housekeeping professional and those pillows have been slept on by other people. I honestly have to do a little mental kind of work to not feel grossed out sometimes in an Airbnb because unlike a hotel where they're washing everything at like 400 degrees, you know, boiling bleach water. I'm like, did they, you know, how well did this, this, how many heads have been on this pillow that are not mine? Like I can get a little in my head about that. I did not want to take the pillowcases off the pillow and what see some like weird gross stain on the pillow that I was just sleeping on for two nights like that is over the line to me as far as a person who is also paying $150 to have the cabin cleaned after I leave I do not think I should be asked to take the pillowcases off of the pillows that's just my personal thing remove like I said remove use sheets and pillowcases number 22 number 23 please remove all food from the refrigerator and free Now we're at number 24 garbage. Put it in the garbage and recycle the rolling bins on the side of the cabin. If you're there during the week, please roll the garbage to the street by early Thursday morning. Thanks. No, no. Um, hell to the no. I, I am. I'm paying you to stay here. I'm not paying you to make sure that I get your garbage out on time down at the street, brah. Like that was this is where as I'm reading this list, I start to really kind of lose my mind. and now absolutely no smoking or vaping okay that's fine no problem number 25 number 26 andrew this is not a hotel this is our cabin please treat it with respect and leave it in good shape well my friend it kind of is a hotel in that you are accepting money from me to stay here and therefore i am you know entitled to a certain amount of comfort and also a certain amount of Not having to clean the cabin from floor to ceiling, strip every bed, throw everything in the wash, take the garbage down to the street like this. This is not a hotel. This is our cabin. Please treat it. OK, if you want to let me stay there for free, absolutely give me this list of do's and don'ts. If I'm staying there for free, if I'm paying you money, I just think that this list is kind of ridiculous.

Yeah, I'm with you. And again, I'm sort of like kind of struggling to, I don't know, kind of wrap my arms around the whole topic. Like I said before, in a fit of frustration, I was like, ah, I hate Airbnbs. And that's sort of true. I mean, everything that you describe, like the experience you can have by renting one of these places that isn't like a day's in. I mean, it's a huge or even a nice hotel or even a luxury hotel that is priced appropriately. Like you can't have like your your cabin board game night and a fire pit outside. So I understand that, like by being able to rent a place like this, but like you just we just keep on running into this idea of like, are you running a business or not? And the whole Airbnb thing is kind of like, no, we're not running a business. We're just trying to make a little money off of this thing that we own. And we're trying to offset some of the costs of having this place that we can't visit every single weekend ourselves. Right. And so it becomes. it's like well we're not running a business but we don't want this thing just sitting empty when we're not using it so let's make some money off of airbnb well then it's like well then you have to hire they've clearly hired some sort of a cleaning crew but they must have some arrangement with the cleaning crew with like regards to the bedding like almost every airbnb b i've been and including the one in denver there is a stipulation like strip the beds usually they say throw the sheets in the washing machine i don't have a huge issue with that and i do it but it is kind of dumb in a certain way like do they have an arrangement with the cleaning crew that says hey listen we're not paying you as much as we would pay you to clean this whole place top and bottom because we've told our guests to throw the the bedding in the washer like how much does that knock off of the the price it takes two seconds yeah the reason that i don't like doing

it is because i don't want to see the mattress without the sheets on it because we all know this because we all sleep on a mattress most of them are not like hopefully it's just your you know whatever remnants but you know all kinds of things happen on a mattress and it's usually just kind of a like you're going to put that sheet on and you're going to not think about what's going on down there I don't want to see what was going on with that mattress that I had just slept two nights on and that's just my that's like a personal weird thing for me but yeah the stripping of the beds is odd because it doesn't take very much time and why is it commonly this thing that they want you to do it's like again I can also promise you I also paid a $60 service fee I mean maybe that goes to Airbnb I don't know but I paid $150 for cleaning I can promise you that the person who cleaned that cabin or who will be cleaning it at some point because we left it immaculate i well sort of i didn't strip the bed as a protest but everything else was was super spick and span i actually videoed i walked around in a video tour of the place in case it comes up later because i wanted to kind of like say well this is what it was like when we left it my guess would be that that the person who's cleaning that cabin is not getting paid 150 because it was about probably a half hour of work and if i knew they were getting all 150 i would be fine with that because i don't think the people that are cleaning the airbnbs of the world are um you know getting rich off of this and if anybody deserves to get some decent compensation it's somebody that's doing a generally thankless job like that what i really have a problem with is the idea that that would also be something that the owner could potentially pocket and again i just find it very unlikely that the housekeeper or the person coming through and doing the cleaning is getting

150 that means you're making 150 an hour yeah exactly and like i'm somebody who enjoys puttering and cleaning so i remember our last night in the airbnb we stayed in in denver i think that was the night that we had our big event our trivia night and then i came back i think you went to a second location with the tens of listeners something and never follow a 10 to a second location no you don't but um i came back and i i remember this specifically i there was some i don't know what exciting action happened in the Mariners game that night but I remember listening to a rebroadcast of the Mariners game that I had missed when we were at when we were at our Denver event and I just had the place to myself and so I put on my headphones I had a beer I polished all the counters I put all the dishes away I loved it I wasn't doing that because I felt like I was going to be in trouble if I didn't I did that because that's my happy place but I also think it's like reasonable to you know again loading a dishwasher with your own gross dishes i think is totally fair and maybe hitting go on it before you go like having somebody come in and have to just like you know potentially pay somebody to come in and do all of your dishes i understand that that one makes sense to me i think there are some expectations with airbnbs that are different than than just a hotel or motel or a holiday inn but i also yeah but uh yeah you gotta kind of figure out where it is and like if you're i don't know i get galled on the fact that like if i'm renting a place that is like this that is like probably like a second kind of like a second home or a vacation home or a lake cabin to somebody who's probably more well off than i am that's not always the case but in my case it's probably like this person has a house somewhere and they own this cabin and probably before airbnbs they would just have this as a family thing anyway but now they can make money off of it and now there's these service fees and now you want me to take the garbage out and now you want me to do all of these things it's almost like and you know like i don't know if it was priced appropriately for that but i just feel like again adding fee upon fee upon fee and then saying oh you have to do all of this stuff otherwise you're

going to get dinged is bullshit right it's like yeah i mean you said it i think you you've said it well and succinctly it's and even earlier when you said it's like it's sort of a quasi business Like, don't the thing that I find frustrating about the current state of Airbnb is that a lot of people are running it. They're making money off of it, but then they're also kind of acting like you're they're doing you a favor, letting you stay there. And it sort of can't be both things like we've got that you're a house sitter.

It's almost like three pronged, don't you? Right.

We've all got friends who maybe have like a cabin or a second place. And maybe if you get lucky, they like say, oh, yeah, if you want to go use it this weekend or something. thing that's one kind of relationship and of course in that case you're gonna you know make sure everything is immaculate when you leave so that it's like because they're doing you a favor this is i feel like more and more airbnb is in this weird kind of liminal space of like hey it's just our house and we're just you know and it's just like this is not a hotel this is our cabin okay it stopped being your cabin when i paid you three hundred dollars a night plus a cleaning fee to stay here you know like that just i feel like some some people kind of want to have of both ways now this is the big question andrew and then we need to move on to why we all don't like woody harrelson now i um i'm really not sure how to review this place because it was great was great like the fire pit was was wonderful they had a bunch of firewood that we could use um and was just like we had such a nice time sitting out by that fire it had a cool view of this inlet um it was comfy it was really one of the best weekends i've had in a long time so that all checks out but i'm also low as i've now spent 40 minutes describing i'm low-key annoyed at them wanting me to run the garbage out to the street if i happen to be there on a thursday so i know this guy's gonna hit me up and be like rate and review what do i do do i just say do i just accentuate the positives and say hey you know it's a cozy cabin and it's great or do i say it's a great cabin i did think that the list of chores was a little lengthy like i don't

know how how real do i need to get oh i think you should be honest like but now this is the other thing you and i have we had very similar conversations after our denver trip and i'm trying to think if maybe this is even our third bite of the apple of sort of complaining about these aggressive lists from airbnb hosts but the thing is i don't think i know certainly for me and i don't think in your experience you've ever gotten dinged on any of these things right like

i know that you had a little bit because i always follow the rules because you follow the rules for the most part right so this one is the first time i didn't and addy was like okay we got to strip the beds and i was like no i like i'm drawing a line no here and i'm not tripping no yeah happy

birthday no um yeah well that'll be interesting you know let's let's see what you know you said that he might hit you up for a review and if that's the case like you know i'll address that in a second but if he also hits you up and says hey man what happened with the bed sheets i think that's very low probability of that happening but i'm hoping that really would be the housekeeping

people who again that's that's the other way that this is kind of a bad a bad situation because i don't want to make life hard on the people doing the housekeeping like that is not a person who should get caught in the middle of this whole thing so if they have to do i mean to me stripping the beds takes literally five seconds i don't think that like i wouldn't have left a but like i said i wouldn't left a bunch of dirty dishes around that then they have to deal with stuff like that but it would come down to the person doing the housekeeping reporting back to this guy and going guess what bed's not stripped i think that you know what i just thought of something

i want to run by you here that i think is i think it's gonna paint a real target on my back if you're interested in that but um because i have another kind of philosophical thing when it comes to kind

of you have to hide out in your darkness retreat for the next six months until the heat is off i

call it a darkness retreat because i played dark i was trying to get there when we were talking

about it earlier and i couldn't quite put it together i like darkness retreat my friend one

of my buddies who came over the Pauly came over on Saturday as well and he made I don't know why if this is a drink of choice for his or if he just wanted to like get experimental but he said I'm bringing the makings for dark and stormies too and I said you mean dart and stormies and then there were like crickets on the text line so anyway I was going to say that yeah I if you if especially if you request a review or if you're in if you're leaning towards doing it anyway I think you should be honest I think you'd be like one of the best weekends of my life like fire pit was amazing like really great surroundings the list of chores at the end of the of the weekend is a little bit aggressive i would say but but the place was very nice you know like one little line like that i have no problem like i like if we're gonna live and die by this review culture and if we're gonna live and die by this idea of hey we rent out our places now but they're quasi public quasi private like then i don't know man sometimes i just like even with like uh ubers or lifts or whatever like if i'm going to write anything at all these companies are like you have to you have to review rate and review rate and review well then i'm gonna rate and review and i'm gonna like you know you're like i'm gonna right i think five stars means like it's exceptional service you know not like it has to be something above and beyond i don't know if that's entirely true maybe i've softened on that a little bit i don't i don't take ride shares all that often and all all it takes for me to for five stars is it for not to be a bad situation i guess So I don't know, but like, I just sort of feel like everybody wants it in this, I don't know, this sharing economy thing to be like, oh, yeah, but we survive on ratings, but don't give me anything but five stars. anything but the best things it's like well then are we rating are we not but and it also seems

like with ratings i think part of the reason that i i either leave no review or five stars because i find people that leave overly detailed reviews sometimes to seem like they're mentally unhinged like i i by that i mean people that are like people that are out there really rating and reviewing it seems like a person who i probably wouldn't vibe with yeah right because it's just like really you're like you're you you took time out of your day to talk about this spatula or something you know so i think i have an instinctive like resistance to it other than just being like five stars smash like it was good i liked it that's mostly what i do with airbnb and i mostly have good experience i've really had for all my complaining i mean i've had a good time at most of these places again i think i cited this a while ago but i saw a headline i did not read the story But I saw a headline that said like Airbnb is making more money than it ever has and it's less popular than it's ever been or everyone's mad at Airbnb and they're also having their best year ever.

I remember I didn't see the best year ever thing, but I have been seeing more and more sort of like articles addressing what we're talking about. I feel like we're kind of as a society maybe getting it. We're what are we like maybe seven. No, no, no. We're more than that. We're like we're solidly 10 plus years into the normalization of the Airbnb culture. Right. And I sort of feel like we might be at somewhat of a breaking point or some sort of decision point for we as a culture to decide like what the inflection point about what our relationship is with these services. Because I'm seeing more and more like young people are rejecting all of the Airbnb because the fees are outrageous and these lists of demands are outrageous.

yeah again it's it's for me it's sort of it's it's countered uh my my annoyance at the at the like the tasks that they want me to do while i'm paying money is the other side of that is i really love having the full run of a house and i love renting a place that's maybe on some water somewhere or near it or in a beautiful setting i really and i was for some reason i was i was actually trying to find the receipt for this stay so i could figure out what i'd actually paid in cleaning fees because i was like maybe the deal is they don't have any cleaning fees in which case i'm have a totally different read on this letter you know um they did have cleaning fees but as i was looking for it i was going through my past trips and i was like it was a great it was like a journey down memory lane it was like oh yeah and then we stayed at that place in san antonio that was awesome and oh yeah there was that place in montana that was on on that lake that was frozen And it was gorgeous. Like, I really have generally positive experiences. I'm just mad the whole time it's happening.

And also just fee structures in general. I'm kind of I want to run something by you here. So I'll wrap this up. But just like also a hotel doesn't have a cleaning fee. A hotel takes into consideration everything that they're going to need to accommodate you and then get the hotel room ready for the next person. And now there are some taxes and line items on that kind of stuff, but there's not like a cleaning fee in most places because they just say we're a business. We're offering a service for a certain number of nights, and this is what it's going to take for us to make a little money off of the top of that and also provide a comfortable experience for our guests. But, like, I just think that this everything from from ticket sales and Ticketmaster and Airbnb and saying, like, well, you're paying for this. And also, like, the delivery services now, but you're paying for this fee, but, oh, you can sign up for our – I won't use any – I was going to use a specific delivery service, but who knows if we'll have an ad before the show running for them. But, like, you know, just, like, the breakdown of all these fees upon fees upon fees so that you can't really even tell – I mean, it seems like it would be a more transparent system, but it seems the opposite of that. And you're just like, what am I paying for? Can you just figure out what it's going to cost me to use this service or rent this room or rent this cabin, figure out what everything is going to cost per night, and then I will decide whether or not it's worth it to me or I can afford it. That's going to come back to this quick hotel thing, Luke, and I know we want to get to Woody Harrelson, so maybe you can just tell me that – I hate to say it, but I think you might just want to say that I'm a jerk. I probably made the wrong decision recently. I was staying in a hotel. You know which one it was, Luke. I'm not going to say it by name, but it's one of those kind of trendy kind of hipper hotels. This one was like actually kind of a converted motel, and it's got some charm to it. It's kind of an old school motel. So it's not very big or fancy, but, you know, it was clean and a little bit hipstery and whatever. And I spent two nights there. But in the kind of post-COVID reality, and I'm assuming for a lot of places this is never coming back, there is no daily housekeeping. now this is i'm probably just weird about this but like housekeeping like having having a room for even if it's just like a couple of days or certainly a week or something, and leaving my room at a certain time of day and then going about my business and coming back at the end of the day and having my bed made and everything tidied up was always one of the biggest pleasures of staying in a hotel for me. I just absolutely loved that. Honestly, it was one of the most special things. That, in many cases, apparently is going away. And I don't want to be an old man yells at clouds. Like, the economy is changing. I'm not a victim here. We're going to expect different things in the new economy. So if hotels are saying it's not worth it for they always say for the safety of our guests. But, oh, you know, you know how that gets me riled up. But even just putting that aside, just saying, like, economically speaking, you know, we have a labor shortage going on.

We have a wage issue going on. Like we cannot afford to, like, have housekeeping come in and make up your room every day during your stay here. and that was the case in this hotel I was or actually motel I was staying in and this is where I already have a pit in my stomach starting to say this because I'm a big tipper especially when it comes I mean I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm lavish but I strongly believe in tipping and I strongly believe in tipping housekeeping staffs and so I always do that on a nightly thing and usually if housekeeping is coming in every single day to clean my room I will, you know, I would usually leave, you know, whatever a denomination for each cleaning. Right. But after spending, I guess, two nights in this place and not having anybody come in, they had an envelope for a tip. And I was like, but I didn't. What am I tipping? It's to me, it was like going. It would be like kind of going to the grocery store and buying a bunch of food myself and then leaving a tip. Like, I was like, but I didn't get to enjoy the experience of having somebody make up my room for me the, you know, my second night there. Now, the room was made up for me when I showed up. But in my head, I always tip for the special service of what you did to clean up my room after me while I was gone and I came back for it. And it sort of seems like if we're not going to have that service, we don't need to tip. But then but that's terrible. Like now, who am I hurting? I'm hurting the people who are doing the least desirable job in the hotel. You know, like, I don't know.

What if I told you that somebody behind you in line at the Starbucks had paid the housekeeping tip at your hotel room for your first night?

I really don't want to be that anti-tipping jerk from Pulp Fiction or not Pulp Fiction, whatever. But, like, I don't know. What do you think? Do I just sound like a cheap ass for, like, not tipping?

I think actually no no I don't think you sound like a cheap ass and I think a lot of people to this day are still a little unclear on the idea of tipping the housekeeping staff so if you're doing that at all I think it's a positive I think if I were in your shoes well one thing is I would have asked them if they can come so do they have at that hotel an actual policy that is like we do not provide housekeeping because most places now it's sort of voluntary you ask them like they'll say do you want housekeeping and you say yes or you might have to call them on a given day and say can i get housekeeping today but it is offered is are they not offering it at

all there was a little sign that i mean listen i'm sure if you're staying in a place like that and if you if you ask for anything they'll probably probably do it but like there was a little sign near the bed that said something like you know we don't we don't do housekeeping and i do think it said something like for your safety and the safety of our employees or something like that where we don't provide um daily housekeeping if you need some towels or anything call the front desk you know so like if i if i was staying there for an extended period of time and i needed fresh towels i wouldn't have hesitated to call but they didn't say housekeeping upon request they said that like we don't do it and again i'm not saying that if i asked for it they wouldn't but also i don't want to do that like you know what i mean like that i don't know i don't want to have to

call every single day and say i want somebody to make my bed i think you know i still uh i leave a tip on my way out as well like so you know i'm leaving it's 10 in the morning or something And now I've slept in the room the night before And I'm not going to sleep in this room again I'm not going to benefit from the next time the room is made up But that for me feels like Yeah but somebody's going to have to come in here And deal with all this Somebody's going to have to work almost as hard as I do When I'm at an Airbnb Stripping the bed and changing things And so I just like I want that person to just have like A 5% better day So that's kind of why I throw that down there But I hear what you're saying too And I very much agree with you that one of the great joys of staying in a hotel is coming back particularly if you're like in new york or chicago or some city that's like you may go out in the morning and just be gone like all day let's say it's summertime in dc and you're like visiting you know the the sites and you're going to like the memorials and the monuments and all this stuff and kind of sweaty and you come back to the room and it's like Thank you.

the AC is cranking, the bed is remade, the towels are fresh, and it's like you just sit down on that bed, and that's a special kind of happiness. So not getting, and similarly, when sometimes, even if it's a hotel that's doing housekeeping, but you were just in there too long or there was a miscommunication, and you're expecting that moment, and you open the door, and there is your just unmade bed, that is a crushing defeat. That's a big W.

Yeah, I'm not lying, though. when i left this place the the you know the night so i spent one night there well i spent two nights there basically you know like um so i didn't get the the bed service or whatever you would call it i don't think you can call it that um my my first night there but that was fine um but then when i was leaving the next day i was leaving in the morning so there was a lot of housekeeping staff like around like walking along the whatever you would call the hallways i guess even though it's kind of an outdoor hallway the balconies or whatever uh and i passed like two of them as They were like buzzing around and I felt I mean, I felt like I was wearing a sign on my head that said this man didn't tip. I felt so goddamn guilty. So clearly I'm not I'm not made for that. I'll go over there when I'm back home and I'll straighten it out. Yeah, make sure they know it's you. Be very loud.

I know that I know that we said we need to talk about Woody Harrelson. But for some reason, when you were talking about brought to mind, Addy and I watched that new Aubrey Plaza movie, Emily, the criminal.

that's on netflix i don't think i've heard about this that no i know that she's really having a

moment but i don't think i heard about that she is she's sort of everywhere but um it's it i thought it was an entertaining movie um aubry plaza stars in it and she plays a a person who's had kind of um a slightly checkered past but in this way that it was like she i forget exactly how she picked up as like a sort of a a slight criminal record but enough that it meant she couldn't and maybe you know what as i'm saying this maybe i'm undermining the point that i was about to make okay so um also i was drinking a lot of wine on saturday night so maybe it's hazy for me but so in the movie uh she gets into the criminal network but she starts out as she's working in corporate catering so she's you know one of those if you work in a big office and they're like we're getting lunch on friday or whatever there's somebody showing up with a bunch of like you know insulated giant kind of zippered bags that they're pulling out all manner of you know burritos from and my first thought was man i've really never considered what that kind of work is like for folks and how you have this kind of collision of you know often a high-paying corporate type job where things are pretty comfy and catered to you and then the person who is making that possible because they're bringing the food in for your lunch and i just made i thought to myself because it's film from her perspective and i thought i need to make sure that i really look those folks in the eye and say hey thanks for bringing that like and not just i'm not just thinking about like oh which fajita am i gonna pick or something you know what i mean like i just i hadn't really thought a lot about that job um and it made me think about that but the other thing was she's got this kind of asshole boss and she has something going on where she has to miss a shift she gets her friend to cover for it and the boss is like just the next day is like reading her the riot act and like basically punishing her and all this stuff and i turned to add and i said that would never happen in the real world because i promise you they cannot find enough people to do the corporate catering right now like i was thinking of this because you're talking about folks doing housekeeping at a hotel i'm sure they can also not find enough people to do the housekeeping like we do not live in a world and this by the way is a good thing we do not live in a world where you as a manager have the luxury of being rude to the person that's taking the catering to the corporate event for you because if that person leaves there ain't anyone behind them waiting to do that job right now like we have had a real shift in how work works in this country and what people are willing to do and if you get someone to do a job that's you know i will say menial in a way and i don't mean that as a statement about the person but a job that is not particularly glamorous and that's a lot of hard work and maybe doesn't always pay the most if you get someone to do that job you get down on your knees and you kiss their feet every single day right now because people are not doing those jobs which again i think is overall a very good thing for this society i'll bet you there are

still tons of asshole bosses i mean i'll bet you i'm sure there are i mean but i guess it's like

how do you if you are an asshole boss and your employees are doing a job where you don't have enough people you know you're always trying to find more people to fill the to fill the shift can do you think that that is in any way impacting boss behavior i mean there must be there must be

some happening but i'm sure there's a for for every story of maybe some person who would maybe be a bad boss otherwise softening up a little bit i'm sure there's a million stories of people just also trying to make it in this economy and uh and they're being mistreated by and it might not even be the person

who owns the company it might be a a middle middle middle manager maybe that's the wrong term but somebody who's you know some somebody who has their little is fiefdom the right word and they have their cadre of employees i'm using fiefdom i'm throwing cadre out there oh god where's my bell it's a big day for andy um anyway you know what i mean who's like who's like who's just a terrible boss but not maybe not necessarily also the person who pays the bills at the end of the So I don't know. I don't want to go out. I don't want to go out on a limb and just say that, oh, because of this economy, everybody and I know that you're not saying this, but just to be very clear, I don't think that that has necessarily made anybody who is doing like working class labor like this cleaning up after guests or in restaurants, hotels, whatever, that that now they get to call the shots because I don't think that's the case.

one other thing i want to say about that movie just because we're talking about it and i'm i i i have a theory and i don't know if it's true i don't remember this is a movie that you know it's about somebody who kind of falls into a life of a certain kind of like retail crime like um creating fake credit cards and like buying things with them before the stores figure out they're faked and then you fence the stuff and what i think is interesting is that if i remember right at no time and then there's like you know someone steals a bunch of money from someone else and then they've got to go there's a big you know showdown etc i do not think anyone has a gun at any point in the movie um the the the weapons that are used uh in two different cases are the threat of cutting someone with a box cutter and then the aubrey plaza character has like a um taser type of deal that someone gave her for self-protection and that she ends up making use of in a few different ways and times but my theory is i wonder if i i kept saying to addy god if someone had a gun here this would be over like people are doing battle like someone's like don't tase me bro and then somebody's like yeah but i've got this box cutter and i'm thinking man a gun would really clean up in this in this environment i'm wondering if it's an intentional i i also think that aubrey plaza's production company created this film and um she may have me be the executive producer as well i wonder if this was an intentional decision to not feature guns in this movie and still make it a a taut interesting uh thriller which it was by the way but absent people just shooting at each other now maybe i'm forgetting maybe i'm forgetting that somebody had a gun again i said i had a lot of wine but like i don't remember i mean certainly there's no point where a critical moment someone's pointing a gun at anyone they're using non-traditional quote-unquote weapons and i just I wonder if we'll hear more about it If this movie kind of becomes popular That this was a decision they made To not feature guns

I wonder, yeah, almost like Not featuring cigarettes, right? Right, totally

And it was notable because, again These are all scenes that typically unfold With someone holding a gun Pointing a gun at someone And it just wasn't, and it's like Wow, she's really going to do this with a taser Oh, and none of the bad guys have guns? Okay, alright

This reminds me of that movie. I saw a movie. It's about a woman whose job is tables. And sometimes she's really upset. As she's driving home, at the end of the day, she's really upset because the wolfman has destroyed her table. It's a really good film. If I can remember the name of it, I'll let you know. Are the tables how she makes her living? The tables, that's her job. That's how she makes her living. No more questions about the tables.

I love that. Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man, it's not from a female.

Now, Andrew, we've got options here. This is normally the email and V-mail segment, but I could just play you this Woody Harrelson tape. We also could skip it. We could talk about it tomorrow.

I want to talk about it tomorrow because, first of all, because we only have like three days in which we can squeeze in people's kind of emails and V-mails, and I do want to talk about that too, and I don't want to kind of rush through it.

Okay, we'll put it on the agenda for tomorrow, my friend.

And you're going to be excited that I did that because I know on this show, Luke, that sometimes we can get, well, we can do things like without explaining it reference. And I think you can leave skit at the end of the top story segment without explaining it and just hope that people know what we're talking about or that they don't care.

People get that our show is based on repeating other shows that are good.

Right, exactly. Or sometimes we'll just spend maybe 15 minutes talking about microphone placement or cough buttons or that type of thing. But every now and then we get a voicemail that is truly universal. I feel like this is the type of feedback that you could hear on literally any show from All Things Considered to the Joe Rogan experience or what have you. This listener did not leave their name, but they're calling in with some really good advice for me after. I told you about my day at the roller rink playing video games the other day.

Hey, Andrew. I just wanted to give you some tips on the Simpsons arcade game I heard Thursday's show. It didn't sound like you were hitting an attack and jump at the same time, but you want to spam that as much as you can. Unlike other game-ups, you usually take off health when you do that. You can actually spam that to your heart's content, and that's usually the best way to take out enemies. another thing is it didn't sound like you knew how to do the team attacks if you play with someone else you want both your characters to idle in the same spot for a second and then you can do a powerful team attack like with Homer and Marge they roll up into a ball my favorite one is Lisa and Bart they hold hands and you just run into everybody and that's the most efficient way to play also the jewelry piece guy that was actually Mr. Smithers, believe it or not. Yeah, Mr. Smithers and Burns are the last two bosses. I don't know why they made Mr. Smithers a joy thief in this game, but it was like a season one Simpsons they were working with. Anyways, I just wanted to throw that out there. That's one of my favorite arcade games from that time. All right, take care. Bye.

There you go. So for everybody who is wondering about the 1993 Simpsons arcade game, Um, those are some tips and I will be honest with you. I, I, I set that up because obviously that is a voicemail that only I would enjoy. And I got that information this morning when I listened to it for the first time. And I didn't have to share that with all of you, but I wanted to, because when I was playing the Simpsons arcade game with, um, with my friend's kid, who I believe is like 10 years old. I believe he was playing Lisa and I was playing the Marge character. And at one point he stopped and he said, we should do a team attack. And I said, I don't I don't know if you can do. I don't know what you're talking about. And I just kept on swinging my Marge's vacuum wildly trying to knock down thugs. And it turns out I should have paused for a second and learned from the youth of America who knew more about a video game that was created at least 15 years before his birth than I did.

Well, now, the next time you play, I want you to, well, I don't want you to, but I would recommend you transcribe every word. Actually, Google Voice probably does it for you. Print out the transcription of that piece of advice from the listener, and then laminate it, or write it on the tablet of your heart, as they say in the Bible. And then you take it down to the Southgate roller rink next time you're going down there, and you will just absolutely slay.

You know what I did do? I saved this voicemail as an MP3, and I texted it to my friend and said, play this for your son, and tell him he was totally right about looking for a team attack.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this, but we were doing so much talk about Airbnbs and hotels and also that darkness retreat. the worst would be if you were at an air a darkness airbnb retreat where they had very specific rules about how you needed to put the place back together but it was in the pitch black

you must seal that would be the worst of all worlds seal up reseal all of the cracks where

light can possibly can possibly make sure you do every dish and you clean every countertop every surface i would like to by by tomorrow i'm gonna i'm gonna do some more um some some deep diving and some digging today and try to figure out if there's a cover-up about how long Aaron Rodgers was supposed to be in darkness and how long he actually was if they again if it was like supposed to be four days but he went three but the guy who owns it he's not going to be he doesn't want the headline to be Aaron Rodgers couldn't cut it he's like he wants headline to be Aaron Rodgers has a transformative experience doing exactly what he set out to do here at our sky church or whatever it's called sky church I think is that Mopop I think that's the name of that room where they have concerts but whatever that's whatever it's called cloud cloud fog yeah

it is interesting like technically the name i'm scared of a lot of things and i think that a darkness retreat like this would definitely challenge me because i can you know i do have like claustrophobic tendencies and that doesn't have to be physical i mean it is like literally enclosed space but i can also and i don't know if i'm using the word correctly or incorrectly but there are also sort of some emotional or or yeah I guess emotional responses that I will have to things that will almost give me a sort of a claustrophobic feeling and I guess maybe the idea of being in dark and being you know depriving myself of my senses for a long period of time like that seems like scary to me but it doesn't seem scary like something I wouldn't even consider trying you know like one time you and I had tossed around ideas for like some sort of like stunt we could do and you talked about like what if we spend a week up on a

on a billboard or something like WKRP style. It's funny how often I forget that you are afraid of heights and also don't like, you know, things like sour cream. I'm always proposing things, and I'm doing this genuinely. I'm proposing things that I have completely forgotten are like anathema to everything that you stand for. Well, it's only heights.

You know, I am not big on heights. Yeah. Yeah, and the thing about heights for me is it's debilitating. Like, it's not like, oh, I'm uncomfortable up here. Well, I mean, you saw me like when when we're I mean, what, 10 years ago or whatever it was when I was on your roof to watch the Blue Angels. You saw me try to be cool at first and then absolutely break down and crawl on my hands and knees to the nearest window because something just broke in my brain where I was like, I can't be out here anymore. Can't be out here anymore. But you know what?

And I respect I respect that you got out there now that I know you even better. I have even more appreciation for the fact that you actually got out there. And I would say, yeah, you would never do that now. you would never if i propose such a thing now you would absolutely not do it my sense of my

my fear of heights and again we weren't kids then that was probably about 10 years ago actually it's probably around 2013 um maybe a little bit after that but uh my fear of heights has gotten even worse since then um i don't think it's it's less about me not being game for to try things or even boundaries in this case i think it really is that i know that my sense of heights my fear of heights has gotten so debilitating that i'm i'm actually a i'm a risk like i i can't i can't act rationally in those moments and so therefore are you just concerned that if there's like if you happen to

see some friends and you're trying to say hi to them they won't see you waving from such great heights that is exactly that is a is that do you think i wouldn't say i wouldn't say over the years

it's it's definitely part of it it's definitely part of it what if their friends are like come

down now they'll say

they'll say that will they say that they will they'll say that yeah

yeah again another skit from I think you should be brought to you by Luke and Andrew's radio theater Ben Gibbard's

job is tables it's

how he makes his money I have to just go watch that that particular sketch again which I've only seen about 50 times in my life probably I mean because again all my time on tick tock which is not healthy I would see those things randomly And I never scroll past them I just watched Carl Havoc the other day The full thing You know Coffin flops Anytime I land on one of those things I just sit there and watch it Even though I've seen it a million times Because they're so funny to me

I really want Patty Harrison to be in more projects too You're talking about a whole bunch

I think she's coming to By the way I believe she is coming to Seattle Some comedy night That Addie's going to and it's got like a bunch Of amazing people in it including Party Harderson so maybe you should go see that

I should I think is it maybe the crocodile Or something like it's it's three women And it's yeah yeah I can't Remember the name but like the sex ed tour that's Not quite it but yes that's Right I saw that this weekend and I Forgot but it's in Kind of the late spring I think so I Can maybe still get tickets great idea

Yes So you're welcome and thank you to my daughter for knowing what's going on in Seattle. She went to the Yola Tango show and then the next night at the Neptune it was the John Early show who's by the way on I think you should leave sometimes and I think John Early said who was here last night for Yola Tango and Eddie said she was the only person who screamed who was in Boo or who was both the overlap of the Yola Tango heads and the John Early kind of edgy comedy heads is apparently

my daughter that's it that's the only person i you've explained john early to be a bunch i think i can never conjure him who is he and i think you can i think you should leave or do you not know

off the top um let me try to remember well you know what he did sorry maybe it's not i think you should leave um tim robinson also did this thing called the characters oh yeah right that was on netflix where he would basically give i think almost like an entire episode over to somebody and they would just sort of basically do uh i mean was it a tim robinson production or was he just did he just participate in it um that was that netflix thing it was a way of it wasn't

his production they would give a spotlight sorry i was looking something up while you're talking they would give a spotlight to various comedians and just say go wild um and so so he does one of

them where he plays this guy who's like a real kind of dean martin type like in a casino and he comes in and he's you know everything is champagne and steaks and then things get really weird really fast um and then john early did one where he's having i think it's like an engagement dinner um for himself that's incredibly like ponderous he he does a really good job he was on um search Party Season 1 with Ali Shawcat. He he and he does a lot of collaborating with Kate Berlant, who's a very, very. Oh, yeah. And just had a big John Early and Kate Berlant do a lot of stuff together. But it's all like it's very. And you know where else John Early now shows up a lot is Office Hours, the Tim Heidecker show. So he's just kind of in that world and is funny, but not like, you know, it's a certain kind of humor that a certain kind of, I don't know, fairly arch person tends to like. And I guess it turns out There's not a huge overlap of people that like Yola Tango or at least who Attended the Yola Tango show who the next night At the same theater attended the John Early show

Gotta watch that Kate Berlant special I don't know if you've watched that yet but There was a big profile of her I believe In the New Yorker I want to say And supporting this new I guess pretty I mean I don't think I've seen Kate Berlant In things but I have not like seen any of her Like just straight up like solo specials And it sounds like it's pretty groundbreaking

I read an interview, like, Nathan Fielder did an interview with her, and I was like, I can't be this close to this much comedy. Like, I couldn't, I felt, I felt embarrassed that they were letting me read it. I know what you mean, yeah, because you admire them so much. You know what I mean? You're just like, oh my, like, I felt anxiety reading it because I was like, everyone loves Nathan Fielder so much. And I do like him, by the way. And everybody loves Kate Berlant so much, Berlant, and they're talking to each other. And I'm almost like, am I even allowed to be here for this conversation?

I know, I know what you mean. I know what you mean. And I do see that for whatever it's worth, and it doesn't really matter, but I see that I'm looking at it like in a list of these. I think you should leave sketches. I can never remember if I'm supposed to say skit or sketch. I know one is made. Do say sketch. Okay, sketch comedy.

Just think, what does Leo DiCaprio's character in Titanic do for Kate Winslet? He sketches her. Draw me like he does. That's maybe even more important when he dies for her.

No, what I need to remember is it's called sketch comedy.

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Yeah, but draw, not sketch. But I think that I need to remember it's sketch comedy. It's not skit comedy. That's how I can remember it. It's not skit comedy. It's sketch comedy. Anyway, there was one called Credit Card Roulette, which doesn't have a very good description here, but apparently John Early is in this I Think You Should Leave segment called Credit Card Roulette for those of you who are huge fans out there.

And then Kate Berlant is the one who has the Garfield house.

Oh, right. Of course. Yes, yes, yes.

And she keeps going. I just feel like nobody is talking. And I think they're having an intervention. And it just happens to be at her house that she bought from Jim Davis, the creator of Garfield. And she just keeps trying to bring it back to the Garfield furniture when there's like a much more serious conversation happening.

It's getting, I mean, so much of my life is, or so much of my communication now is just quoting. I think you should leave sketches. And now, so to go back to my little dart party on Saturday night We're over here, as I mentioned, with my buddy Hauser Who listens to the show And my good friend, our friendship goes back to high school, Pauly And Paul does not watch I Think You Should Leave He had never heard of it before And Hauser and I just keep on talking to each other In I Think You Should Leave quotes, right? And I started to realize, I'm like, oh, I mean, I'm not trying to be like I'm not trying to do this I'm not trying to cut Pauly out of the conversation. So then that was Saturday night, I believe. So then Sunday, we're just on a text chain, all three of us together, and we're just feeding Pauly these links to sketches that he should watch. And now we're just like we're trying to indoctrinate him into the world of I think you should leave so that we can all communicate on the same level.

I know. I feel like I do. I try to do that with Becca. I try to do that with people because I want to be able to share that. And it's like now I don't know how Polly will respond But it's funny it's like you can't You can lead a horse To Tim Robinson's work But you know if they're going to enjoy it or not It's kind of up to them Should we call this episode Heart of Darkness

Yes let's do that Let's do it Or Eternal Darkness

Of the Spotless Mind I don't know I'll let you decide my friend

I actually like that one better Okay and I'll fire this music here i don't know why i had to say that out loud i'm just trying to do too many things at once

that's fine let's people like us bringing them behind the curtain all right that's gonna do it for today's episode we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you till then have a great monday take care of yourselves and please remember in a mountain too tall and good luck to all Hey, sorry, this quality is probably terrible because you're on speaker and I'm driving, but I'm listening to Luke talking about it. people oh my gosh my mom's calling me oh I'll try again later I mean bye power out