Muse

Hello, I have a little song. I heard there was a secret food That when you ate could make you poo But you don't really care for spicy, do you? Put them on my nachos, please And when you do, don't forget the cheese My favorite little pepper, jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Jalapeno Love the show, power out

TBTL What will your first sequence of the day be?

Computer, load up Celery Man, please He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise. He loves other things as well.

You guys are so fun. Just relentlessly fun. I keep thinking, when are they going to stop being fun? And the answer is never.

That was great. That was good. You went for it. I appreciate that.

What do you say we go out and get some Carvel? I got the time if you got the diapers.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Jalapeno! My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

The man or beast that I run from ain't been born, and his mama's already dead.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. I cannot tell you how nice it is to be home again after like a week broadcasting from various hotels and motels. And I don't even particularly love my place in Portland. I mean, it's fine. I don't mean my place like in the social hierarchy. I love that. I'm very high up on the social chain in Portland. It's sort of near the top. It's like Damien Lillard. And then probably me. Maybe Stephen Malcolm is now that he lives. You're the guy from pavement. No, I mean, I don't like love this apartment necessarily all that much. But boy, just to have my stuff, I was I was grabbing some Splenda a minute ago out of this one cupboard where I keep these enormous boxes of Splenda that the listener sent me literally years ago that I'm still working my way through. And I just I grabbed my Splenda. I grabbed my stir stick from where those goes. and it just was kind of like everything was sort of in its place and it just made me feel like I am in a really sort of the perfect mental state to bring you episode 3,907 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. I stumbled upon some audio recently of Jonah Hill kind of arguing with Judd Apatow.

Last time I checked, audio was the second most important part of the audio video experience.

And I thought it was pretty intriguing. I thought maybe you all would be curious to hear it. So we're going to play that. Speaking of audio products, boy, I got a new podcast I've obsessed over. In a case gone cold, could a podcast bring the heat? Talk about Lost Hills coming up. And then it's a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day. We will do the Blur's Day messages and we'll say hi to this guy, the longest running cobro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I'm not saying he's had a tough

week. I'm just saying... I watched 17 horses lose their lives out there I lost three good friends and I've held the lifeless body of my best friend in my arms

Raising the question, he has a best friend that's not me? Anyway, he's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning. Not anymore

I've been upgraded I guess Moving up that social ladder too Let me ask you a question that It's going to seem misleading at first. But the question is, do you want to know who sings that song? Some listener of ours made up, wrote and sang that jalapeno song at the beginning of the show and left it on our voicemail line. Are you interested in knowing who it is?

Who Leonard Cohen is or who the person singing on the tape is?

Who the person singing is. Who the listener is. I am curious. Absolutely. is give them their propers. I know, but this is why the question is misleading because it sounds like I know, I don't. I want to know too, but I wasn't sure if it was one of those things where you might want to let the mystery be. I believe that was just...

Does Andrew like posing questions he doesn't know the answer to? Yes, he does.

I'm saying, like, because I wasn't sure. If you were like, no, like, let the mystery be because this person... There's something special and beautiful and magical about somebody just...

leaving that voicemail not leaving their name like i don't even think that's edited it's just like that is that came fully formed under our voicemail line and i love that but also hearing it and we haven't played that in a couple of years i'm just like who is that person are they still listening do we want to know do we want them to reach out to us if they are hearing this right now or is it better to just like let the mystery be boy i could really see it both ways um there's

The thing is, you and I, Andrew, are not what I would call under explainers, like the number of things on this show that are left, again, sort of under analyzed or under described. It's a pretty short list. That might be the only thing, the fact that we don't actually know the name of the person who left us that like Weird Al meets Leonard Cohen meets Shep Smith from Fox News. Jalapeno. I guess I would. I don't know. I'm fine with it being a mystery. I'm fine with it being unknown. Yeah.

Okay. Don't reach out, listener. You heard it.

In fact, Luke said, do not reach out to Luke. Reach out to Andrew. Satisfy Andrew's curiosity, please. Oh, if you're curious what time Monday and Tuesday's episode of TBTL will be hitting the internet, I'm here to tell you it's going to be a little later than normal.

Good remembering.

I'm going to be involved in some stuff, some very shady legal stuff on Monday and Tuesday. And so we're going to be – our record time is going to be a little later than normal. So don't do not fear. TBTL has not been taken off the air yet Monday and Tuesday.

Yeah. So we're looking at you and I were just plotting out the schedule for early next week. So it looks like we're not going to be even starting recording until kind of mid to late afternoon here. West Coast time. So East Coasters might be around eight ish or something by the time you see our show posted. But like like Luke says, do not fear if it comes to be 10 o'clock at night and you haven't seen anything fear fear with all the fear.

Well, that officially put us into TBTL After Hours status.

That is interesting.

I have something called, oh, I was excited to play it. I have some piece of audio called TBTL After Hours, but it just sounds like it was somebody's phone in their pocket accidentally recording. Why in the world would I have this audio, Andrew? And why would it be called TBTL After Hours 10-1-0-9?

10-1-0-9. so that's still radio days or is that that's radio days definitely i mean that was when tbtl

after i was hoping to find we used to have like a sexy sax yeah wasn't it like baker baker field or

whatever that means baker street baker street wasn't that what you opened it with or was it i

don't know if it was baker street but it was like that if it wasn't exactly baker street it was in that it was the the musical equivalent of of steam coming up through a manhole cover as a taxi as a new york city taxi drives over it in the wee small hours of the morning um that was what we were trying to evoke but anyway i don't have that audio everyone just imagine imagine sexy sax music as i

say there you go monday and tuesday tbtl after hours nice nice yeah of course it'll be still like we'll be starting at like three o'clock in the afternoon here i don't think you're even i have to cut that now because you're not allowed to listen to this music during the daylight hours

right no no you'll turn into a sex wolf i don't know what that is but i don't want it to happen

it's going to do with your body's sexual chi i believe can i it opens your fourth eye what

um can i give you a little update a little 411 on something andrew involving the company uh that i that i ordered that oversized jacket from oh my god a heck of a time returning it or at least have finding satisfaction uh when it was time to return it i think 90 of the people listening will know what i'm talking about but basically i ordered this code off of instagram it was too large the help person at the company the person i was chatting with um kind of said yeah we had a lot of people saying that and i thought that meant okay well then they're going to pay for the return shipping and she mentioned that no it's in what they call the production tolerance in other words it's that just happens when you're talking about jackets sometimes they're too big so you're still gonna need you to pay for the return shipping so i told you i sent it back in and then i had credit with this company and like i was going around their website and of the things that i liked almost everything was out of stock so i settled on a pair of pants that were like they're called um i actually have it uh right here they're um dungarees they're dungaree pant dungaree pant in fatigue canvas is the exact description and they're kind of like they're working pants you know what i mean they've got like interesting pockets they're like if you were a painter or maybe a sculptor of some kind you could be wearing these in your studio they're a little oversized they're very thick so they'd be really good for working in right So really not cheap, but I had this credit I was trying to use up, right? And then I, they also had this, I bought this bowl, this like Japanese bowl. Both of those things showed up while I was in California. So I came home last night and I got them and I tried on the pants this morning, Andrew. I don't know if I've ever loved a pair of pants more in my life. Oh, really? I love these pants so much that I pulled a serious Burbank and I went back to the website and I purchased two more pairs. meaning these people absolutely got me like they won they went from sending me a jacket that was too large and telling me that it was okay that it was too large because of a term called production tolerance that i will literally never forget because i think it just means we're allowed to do whatever we want like sometimes when tbtl is not good it's within the production tolerance for this show that we're not being interested they went from they went from disappointing me with an oversized jacket that i had to pay to return to them to me buying now three pairs of pants and a japanese bowl from them because i love these pants so much now here's the other thing this is a small footnote but i paid i'll just say it whatever the the pair of pants that i bought i bought for 199 that's a lot for pants i don't buy 200 pants like ever unless it's a suit but again i was trying to use up the credit because one of the listeners emailed me had said this might be a fly-by-night thing and so i was like i just gotta like get what i can get

from these folks right so now i go back and i bought two more pairs and they're marked down like when i when i bought these a week ago they were 199 now they're all marked down to 139 really i'm seeing 199 still on the site and once you hit buy on it yeah it gives you like a it's like it's our spring sale and also non-refundable uh i cannot stress how non-refundable these are

You better freaking hope that these are going to be in the same size And there's not going to be a production variation

Well that's the thing, they're the exact Okay, so I've ordered Now this is where I'm feeling I keep swearing off buying clothes through the mail But I'm wearing the pants right now And they're like perfect for me And so I've ordered a pair of them in obsidian And another pair of them in fatigue canvas And I order them in the exact size of these pants I guess this will be the ultimate test of what the production tolerance is.

Those are the only two colors they have, right? What is the color that you have?

For this particular kind of dungaree.

So you're going to have three of these. Two are going to be the same color. What are the two?

Two of them are going to be green, and one of them is going to be blue. And the thing is, I thought one of them, because this is how my brain works. Is obsidian blue or black? I thought obsidian would be black. I think of obsidian as being black, but I swear, okay, maybe they're black. And one of them is black. Actually is that line racist That's a line that someone Sings in Amal and the Night Visitors And that someone is me I'm singing about these wise people Who've shown up at the house I'm Amal in this case Me I'm the Amal we're talking about And I'm describing The various wise men And the sort of entourage that's shown up Of course Amal and the Night Visitors Is like this operetta about a little Boy and his mom and they're very poor And then the wise men come through On their way looking for the Christ child My mom steals their gold Then she gives it back She says she's sorry And then because she said she's sorry I'm healed from, you know, being As they would say in the day, lame Again, I don't know if that's If we use those terms anymore But there is a line where I'm describing everyone And I go, and one of them is black Describing a person

I don't think we need that information anymore No, it's a real Stephen King way of doing it If you don't mention race And one of them's on an Indian burial ground If you don't mention race, everybody's white But then when somebody is not white, and in his book specifically black, boy, he'll let you know.

Well, the thing, too, of this is the person wasn't black. It was played by the mummy.

Oh, yeah.

So I don't think – actually, you know what? I don't know who it was specifically referring to. I can tell you that we did not have any black folks in the production. And the character, you know – That's also problematic. As originally written – well, that's why it's been canceled. that's why i've removed all evidence of that ever happening and i'm personally fine with that um but yeah i wonder i don't because also you're in the audience let's just say that we had had the good fortune to have a more diverse cast i don't need to tell the audience knows what the what what the appearance of the various people in the show is right i don't need the line and one of them is black is like it's unnecessary uh bordering on racist that is that is really

strange i'm looking up like lyrics and stuff now like because i wanted to see if i could just find the lyric sheet i mean it sounds like you have it memorized uh but i want to sort of see it and you know one thing that i thought was interesting that you did there that i don't think i've ever heard you do and when i was a kid this used to irritate me

are we still talking about pants is it okay for me to talk about this we are we're talking about obsidian dungarees can i well i'll make this quick when i was like young and just like my mom would have the tv on or whatever like so in other words like this wasn't even content that i was consuming purposely i would notice that some actors would refer to themselves like in the first person when being interviewed and talking about their character they would just say instead of saying like my character shows up at the door and knocks three times to say well i show up and i knock three times and then so and so lets me in and i that always bugged me i was like it's not you it's the character that you're playing and i feel like we should separate those things out and you just did it and i'm not mad at you i'm not criticizing you but i've never heard you do

that before uh you know i was referring to i'm just i'm trying to follow exactly what you were saying so how did i i referred to myself in the third person well i mean i'm i'm joking i'm also looking i'm also currently trying to find the full script of among the night visitors so i can get to

the exact point in this but anyway but my point is when actors talk in the first person about their characters instead of saying my character does this they say well what i do is magnum pi you know like i come in and i knock three times and then um they let me in and then i then i i explode over dinner and anger or whatever and they're like talking about what happens in the movie but they're referring to it as if they are actually they are actually the character I think we should separate those things out even as a little kid that's not you doing that that's your character doing that let's like not get these things

twisted I see so you would like it if let's say Tom Selleck is talking about a scene in Magnum P.I. he says I and then Magnum gets into his Ferrari you would rather or no you'd rather he said Magnum gets into his Ferrari yeah I get

into the or even my character and so that you know like something like you know my character jumps in you might know that my character always never opens the door just jumps into my ferrari i don't know if that's true of him or not it seems like something that he could do if you wanted to with

the power of the stash sort of dukes of hazard but yes i can see him doing it as well so anyway i feel like magnum was a cooler customer i didn't watch i was very much not allowed to watch magnum pi growing up as i'm sure you wouldn't have been no no i wasn't in fact you know those bikini babes

are you kidding me get it i i've said this to you before i i'm banking on the fact that you

don't remember so we can get more content out of this that's a safe bet one of the getting negative you're getting minus four thousand on that from drafting right now that is such a sure bet that you have to bet four thousand dollars to make one dollar on betting if i forgot something oh yeah

that's right um just like what a week away from you betting on baseball again i guess um i forgot about that it's exciting but i did not watch magnum pi but i caught a tiny bit of one once and it was a really dirty joke and it really stuck with me because i mean it was a really dirty joke it was a for my young mind a dirty joke uh magnum pi was backstage interviewing or is it called interviewing when or he wasn't interrogated he was a pi yeah he was like talking to a woman who somehow related to a case right but she's she's an exotic or an erotic dancer right she's a stripper and he's talking to her like in her dressing room or whatever and she says at the end do you want to stick around for the show i do something different where i start naked and i get dressed and he said well i can only stick around he said i can only stick around for the first half that's a pretty

good spoon yeah i stuck in my head i was like oh this show is dirty can i um can i i want to get back to pants talk in a minute but can i also tell you a joke that i heard the other day that i i thought was kind of funny what did yoda say when he saw himself in 4k wow i feel like i could get something even close but um what did yoda say when he saw himself in 4k my character lives in a swamp gets into the ferrari i don't know what did he say hdmi

no no no no that's pretty good did you send that one to camaro kev

right i know it's that brings together everything he loves in the world star wars and a video interpolation no not really video cables um okay so just to wrap it up i just want to explain why it is i'm i went from being the owner of zero pairs of these pants to three pairs of these pants it's because my first thought was these would be great pants to wear working around the remodeling project but that's that can be dirty work at times and i thought i could make i could dedicate one to just being work pants but then i'm not going to be able to wear them you know out to the disco on a friday night with becca and so i thought i Can I just – can I really – can we get real for a minute? Can I tell you what the origin of this was? I took a picture yesterday with Juliette Lewis after we did the interview. And by the way, she could not have been nicer, more fun to hang out with. But I'm wearing pants that I think they're a little too tight. They're not skinny jeans. They're not tight pants. By the way, go to my Instagram page if you'd like to see the too tight pants that I'm describing. I just have hit this point where maybe I'm embracing my – excuse me. I get emotional thinking about this transition for me. I may be embracing my inner Andrew, which is I think I want my pants to be just 5% baggier than they've been because there are times where I'll see myself like particularly if we're filming something or if there's a picture of me when I'm doing live wire. And I think those pants are maybe a little tighter than I want them to be. And what I think it is is the slow change of fashion. I mean, you've been with the baggy pants throughout. You've been consistent on this point. But I tend to kind of, in a very subtle way, go in and out along with the trends. Like I did have skinny jeans back in the day when that was in style. I feel like I wouldn't do that anymore. But anyway, I do feel like I want my pants to be ever so slightly bigger. And these pants I'm wearing right now feel like the right – I got some room to move. There was something about putting them on this morning That I felt, this is the new Pant situation I want to be a part of And therefore I want to try to Make sure I have a couple of pairs that I can wear That aren't just covered in mud Because I've been remodeling in them

Yeah, my pants are definitely too baggy You don't want to go that far

You're almost in Jenko jeans territory

Lacking an ass does not help Either, just like I'm constantly hitching These things up Yeah, I know that Well, on the occasion that I wear a pair of pants that fits me better, Genevieve always says, you look so much better when you don't wear baggy pants. But, yeah, I kind of got I, you know, for me, it was a combination of not being not not really caring about fashion and always thinking that I look bad no matter what. So not really caring too much. Sorry, that's just the origins of this shit. But also being really overweight as a kid and then kind of losing a lot of that weight as a young adult or in high school but still always feeling like the fat kid and still always feeling like I need – like the idea of having clothes at all tight on me made me very uncomfortable. That's why I loved – hey, man, I love the 90s. Somebody should make a show called I Love the 90s and have people like me and Michael Ian Black on there talking about why we like the 90s so much. Just an idea I'm throwing out there. But, yeah, I just kind of got stuck in that world where I was wearing, like, three X-size shirts that made me look, as we talked about, like I'm Scrooge McDuck in his pajama shirt going to bed for the night or whatever. Just, like, drape myself. You make sure to blow that candle out, by the way, because that's a fire hazard. I know. I know. I've been thinking a lot about Scrooge McDuck lately. I might be doing a little investigation into that character in this week's newsletter. I haven't made up my mind yet. Oh, really? Yeah, I have a little. I'm working on becoming an investigative journalist.

dive into a swimming pool of doubloons for the hay dummies uh may potentially yeah what does he

what does he wear just like trunks like baggy trunks for that are you comfortable doing that

my guess would be now can we can we actually investigate this i bet you he he's in a could he be in like a one-piece bathing suit almost like a singlet like an old timey wrestler would

wear bucks that's oh well the image i'm seeing is he's in his he's like in his um yes there's one where he's in that kind of a singlet and it's striped red and black and that looks classic to me but in a lot of these images he's jumping in in like his house coat his Hugh Hefner-esque house

shirtless right because I don't know I don't think we're ready for a shirtless Scrooge McDuck no I see I'm looking at the same thing you're saying yeah he's he'll be either in his in his sleeping garb or he'll be there's like one or two where he's in like the old-timey bathing yeah yeah anyway what were we talking about can we go back to that by the way for for men look at this he's wearing a one piece yeah i feel like we don't we've moved away from one pieces for men but i would be fine with that no i would love i want as much of my body covered as possible but

it would still be tight though it would be still be very unflattering like if you don't like the way you look with a shirt off like i don't think you're like the way you look kind of packed into one of those also like i the way i'm looking at these i can't see what's going on with his legs what happens from the hips down but like is it is it tight or like i mean i wear trunks right

loose no it's all legs i'm looking at a picture yeah i i found one where he's diving oh he's diving into the vault and it's he's got his his one piece on but it just like it wraps around it's like a onesie so in other words his legs are just coming out also there's a hole for his tail I would like that as well

Well I definitely would In my suit Obviously That Right But you see what I'm saying That like Like, would it effectively hide your thunder? You know what I mean? Like, I would feel like sort of...

Well, I mean, it would cover your crotch, if that's what you mean.

But tightly, though. Is it like a tight singlet? Oh, okay, that's what you're going for.

Loose pants, tight suits. Okay. That's my new philosophy. I don't know. We'll see. Like I said, it will be interesting to see if all three of these pants are the same size when they get here. And I pray to God they are. I mean because I guess I can't send them back But I did not see that plot twist For me and this company But it happened You're going to be the president soon You're going to be that hot guy Oh I'll say one other thing really quickly And then we should go to break But when I got these pants And the bowl Andrew Because remember I also bought that bowl

Yeah how's that bowl I kind of like that bowl

I do too I'll say this It's not huge remember it was listed as large and i was like i bet you it's not as big as as you would think but it's nice i mean it's something you could put some fruit in or something like i'm happy 12 inches or eight i can't remember i don't know okay um uh but the way it was all packaged you know how i've been around and around with it was i talking to a bot is this a massive company that's pretending to be small is it a small company that's pretending to be massive um how many uh licks does it take to get to the middle of a tootsie roll anyway the way that the stuff was boxed up made me think this is like three people that work at this place because it was like a fedex box the bowl was in there the pants were in there it was kind of put together it didn't look like it was put together on some by some machinery on some massive assembly line the way it was taped up it was obviously hand taped the box with like a little more tape than i needed like i was cutting through it with these scissors trying to get in yesterday like it was like as if your friend mailed you something the way they would over tape it the way it would be just kind of like a little diy if that makes sense which then made me think oh man maybe i've besmirched maybe i've besmirched the a small you know a small business that i thought for a while was maybe a big business pretending to be a small business i don't know if it's okay for me to say

this i'm going to reveal something about genevieve's family that's going to sound critical and it's it's not it's not meant to be critical i know a lot of genevieve's family members actually listen to the show so thank you also there's a donate button on the website just kidding they actually all do donate and embarrass all the donations go into a huge vault and then put on our singlets no no but there is something and this is this is this is not critical but it is it's funny how families just have it's not even a tradition but it's a way of doing things and you see that everybody in the family does it although i don't think genevieve does this but when um folks in genevieve family are mailing stuff or shipping stuff to genevieve let's say it's the holidays or her birthday and they they want to send something the boxes are always taped up with like that you know clear packing tape in a way that it could survive a trip to the moon shot

out of a cannon you know what i'm talking about it would it would it would basically um survive re-entry yes it would it's like they're john glenn in the capsule re-entering the you the the atmosphere as it's just like the heat is the heat shield gonna hold up it's like more tape than

box and like because sometimes i don't know if you do this too i mean obviously you know me i i get into my puttering mode and i get like kind of i don't know precious about things or whatever and so i find myself especially in this day and age where we get more and more packages um delivered i uh will go outside with sometimes i have my uh box cutters with me and i'll cut up the boxes in the small little chunks so they lay nicely in the bins i don't know if you can imagine that being something important to me luke uh to make sure that we're saving as much space in those recycled bins as possible i'll cut it up but other times you in the bins oh really oh shoot maybe after the break i'll tell you more um but uh sometimes you go out there and you don't have your box cutters with you right so you're like but I I can do this so you just sort of like tear it apart you like start kind of ripping it at the corners and then you know that there's a piece of packing tape along the seam at the top and the bottom or whatever and in the process of destroying this box that will come off and you will throw it in the garbage because that's not recyclable but when I get a box from Genevieve's family and I don't have my box cutters and I don't realize what i'm getting into like i'll be outside like clawing at these boxes without a knife it's one of those things would be so much easier for me just to go inside and get a box cutter but instead i'm just kind of like i'm like a dog i'm rolling on the ground i think there's a treat in there

you think you think you can find the corner of the lowest layer of packing tape and if you can get under that you might be able to pull something off and it's just sheets and you're just pulling

like if you can kind of break it in one place then you can but it's just like sheets and sheets And she said, I'm sorry. I don't know if it's because of a desire to reuse older boxes, which is good. We should be doing that. Use a box as much as you possibly can. Or if it's just like if something bad happened at one point where a box exploded in transit. And so it just lives in the family's genes now to do this. But, man, they are secure.

That's me. I mean, it's not nearly that extreme. But this idea of trying to just, like, werewolf open. That's how Carrie used to describe how I opened everything. It was like a werewolf.

huh she would because like every like only during a full moon okay uh-huh or if i'd heard baker

street before 6 p.m um but like like werewolfing would just be to tear something open kind of you know uh in a in a intense and not particularly strategic way and like so you know i get a lot of deliveries from amazon i'm not proud of that but it does happen and if you recycle uh cardboard here in this building you they ask that you break the boxes down um and so i'm always carrying like instead of just like grabbing a pair of like utility scissors or a little knife or something i'm always just like carrying these boxes to the garbage room that's on my floor and only when i'm in that room do i start trying to dismantle the boxes and they're you know they've got that piece of amazon packing tape on them and it's always a fight between me and that tape because i've got to get that off so that i can collapse the boxes down you know and i always annoyed at myself that i didn't plan better but i could have just done it in my apartment where i have the supplies but for some reason i have this weird hang-up where i just find myself spending an inordinate amount of time in the trash room on my floor trying to wrestle with a box does the trash room have that

i know it wouldn't smell terrible because you wouldn't do it that way but does it have that sort of smell that sort of sweet smell like i whenever i'm staying at like a hotel or a condo or any kind of place like that that has like a garbage chute um and i go to throw garbage into it like it's not an overwhelming it doesn't make you gag or anything but it's got that sort of sweet smell in there and you were talking the other day about sometimes like maybe putting some trash outside your hotel hotel room door and you'll like sort of make sure that you keep the door open with one of your heels on your feet right like kind of keep it wedge open i have like a fear of being caught in one of those small garbage chute rooms with that smell i will never let the door you'll try to keep the door open you always i will even pry it open i do i want ventilation but also i have a fear of being locked in that room huh have you noticed

we really got to go to a break but uh the two apartment buildings i've lived in here in portland have both had trash chutes and i think that's the first time i've ever in these two cases ever lived in a building that had it something why is it that at least in the two buildings i've been in that have this you have to do this thing where there's it's motion activated have you ever noticed this i know you have to pass your hand across it so that it unlocks it so you can open

it and throw something in oh the lock i'm sorry i was picturing the lights okay no i don't know

no i'm talking about the the trash chute door okay so it's like imagine like stainless steel square rectangle that's on hinges and you turn this knob and pull it open and that's where you throw your garbage not your recycling but your garbage yeah that thing in both buildings i've lived in it must be some kind of my guess would be it's like it's like an osha thing in in oregon maybe you you can't just open it you have to pass your hand across this motion detector that goes from red to green so when it's green it's ready for you to open it and sometimes it'll be broken it'll be a sign i'm not sure what they're protecting for with that exactly like i wonder why i mean obviously like is it a child safety thing i guess that's what it feels like that's

gotta be what it is i feel like a kid because i mean that would be the fear there right somebody i mean not to get dark but a a human who's small enough to fit down there that's horrifying to think about but is this thing sophisticated enough that a kid couldn't accidentally i mean a kid

could accidentally activate it but i think you're probably right that's exactly what it has to be in fact i listened to a whole i'm talking about podcast later lost hills but i also listened to this australian podcast i believe about um quite tragically a person who who died and had basically fallen down one of these things in like a big kind of modern high-rise building so i'm not and this was like a i think a woman in her early 20s but so it's not i'm i'm not trying to elide the sort of danger of these things i just was always wondering but i think you're exactly right i think the idea is they don't want a like a toddler uh or or somebody who wouldn't be smart enough i mean in terms of how old they are to know that you're supposed to pass your hand over this thing and so they wouldn't be able to open it and like climb in and then fall into the you know three floors

down yeah maybe it's high enough on the wall that a young it's not it's like three feet off the

See that doesn't It's kind of odd Like I could see a kid X accidentally you know activating it by just walking past it if they're over three feet tall then they are you know they would they would the thing would open you also have to be pretty quick it's like you pass your hand it goes green you open it and you got to turn this handle too so anyway i think you're right though i think it's got to be child safety my parents or i'm sorry

my grandparents had a um laundry chute in their house we had one of those and they didn't use it and but boy when we were visiting we used it oh my god so fun right did you ever climb through it

And drop down to the next floor

No I'm too scared to do anything like that

That's exactly why they needed those Motion sensors They needed a motion sensor at my house It was so fun because we would like pile up A big pile of like laundry Or something and then you kind of like You lower yourself down through it And then you drop down to the other floors Something very magical when you're a kid About portals like that Something that goes from one thing to another

Absolutely if I were to ever build a house Now I would build secret passageways

for sure i know i feel like we should be doing more of that i don't even think it's over it's prohibitively expensive to do like a you know a book case thing that like opens and then it's a door to something else like i think you know that's like the no practically the number one childhood fantasy would be to have something like that and yet it would like never occur to me to do

it but i mean you're you're in the perfect position to do this right now i don't think i'm ever going to be building a house from the ground up but and i guess that's not what you're doing either but i I mean, you're doing a major renovation and redesign the house.

If I'm going to put in a secret passageway somewhere, this is the time to do it.

Dude, bookcase that opens up to a secret poker parlor back there?

I was just thinking a bookcase that opens up to a different bookcase. Oh, that's interesting. Which keeps the real books I read. So the outer bookcase is like real high concept, high level literary stuff. And then the inside is just Tom Clancy. Yeah, Fletch and Tom Clancy. Fletch, Clancy, some J.D. Robb. Nice. Love it. So just really good quality page turners. Okay. Let's turn the page on today's episode by taking a quick break, and then when we come back, we'll do some top stories. And don't forget, the Blur's Day is coming up here on TBTO.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

Everybody rattle, dattle.

Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These are the incredible, generous, supportive supporters who are dazzling us with the donation of dough each month. Folks like, what? Our friend and YouTube's number one therapist, Dr. Kirk Honda of Seattle, Washington. Would we say that Dr. Kirk is officially TVTL's show therapist, considering now that we've had him on multiple times? Yeah. Therapizing?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Dr. Kirk says, Andrew, as a fellow obsessive organizer, you might be able to appreciate my attempt to calculate the number of hours I've spent listening to TVTL. Oof. Yeah, I don't. Buckle up. I don't know if any good comes from this. Yeah. I don't know if this is good for mental health, I'll tell you that much. I've been listening to TVTL since January of 2012 when The Grizz introduced me to Luke at Cairo. Well, that was our friend Jamie Griswold, I believe, in Cairo.

And your first intern or an early intern? I think so. No, no, no. Intern or just employee?

Well, no, Jamie didn't work. I think Jamie had a different job at the station but helped out on TBTL and so might have been considered. It was definitely not like what Jamie was being paid for. I think she was sort of volunteering her time and I think was maybe described as our intern. So here we go. This is the math. That's 11 years times 52 weeks times five episodes per week times 1.25 hours per episode. So like an hour and 25 minutes is average. No, no, no.

An hour and 15 minutes would be 0.25, right?

Oh, sorry. Yeah. Math. I'm learning. That means I've listened to you for 3,575 hours or 149 days. So if you took – no, this is just from when Dr. Kirk started listening. Are you saying that if somebody started listening in January of 2012 to TBTL, if you smooshed it all together, we broadcast it for 149 days straight, 247? It's 149 days of content?

if you're going with that you know hour and 15 minute average which seems fair i mean the radio oh yeah because 2012 oh right because 2012 that's long past the radio days so um yeah that's probably

a good average that's amazing dr kirk continues since i've been listening for 11 years and there 365.25, etc. et cetera, days per year. I guess, is that a leap year? That must be, yeah. And I'm awake for 16 hours per day. Okay, that's good. I'm glad to hear you're getting your beauty rest, Dr. Kirk. Glad you're getting your eight hours a night. That means since 2012, I spent 5.6% of my waking life listening to the two of you talk to each other. 5%. This is the part, and I don't know why I have the need to do this when somebody who's being so nice and supporting the show Is you know Donating money and we're here to honor them But like I just wonder what else Dr. Kirk could have done with that 5%

Of his life The good thing to remember is He was doing other things during this time as well I'm hoping that he's not Sitting in a chair in an empty room Just staring into the People void while he listens

No you're absolutely right I forgot I lost sight of that Yes I mean if you take The sheer tonnage of this show In terms of a content standpoint The fact that people can also remodel their home or take up ice dancing or whatever it is they might be doing, walk their dogs, drive to visit their grandmother. It is something you can multitask while it's going on. So at least there's that.

Yeah, exactly.

TBTL, at least you can multitask.

Now, I do wonder if Dr. Kirk ever has like kind of a secret earbud in when he's seeing a patient. Oh, wow. You know, that would be, I think that would be malpractice.

You're just, like, pouring your heart out, and he just, like, fires his phone across the room because of just some fact that I've gotten grossly wrong.

The middle of somebody just, like, being really emotional, he just yells, yes, we know your grandparents had a laundry chute. We've heard it before.

And that's while I'll never find love. We get it. You had a kid when you were young. I'm sorry. I'm not talking to you. Other thing. Uh, let's see. Uh, Dr. Kirk says that doesn't count the hours I've spent listening to Ross and Burbank, the Andrew wall show after these messages and the various live events. So yeah, weird power out PS, please play some random Andrew drops. I love those.

So what does that mean?

Andrew, if only I had 30 to 40,000 drops in here that say Andrew on them.

So these are, these are drops with my voice on them, not drops that you might play to introduce me. These are actual. Okay.

so i'm going to leave for a little bit here these are just i'm what i'm going to do is um if it's okay let's see here i'm just going to there these are going based on time so the good news andrews these are not very long starts with drops that are one second in fact there's one drop that's listed as being zero seconds which raises the question can a zero second drop even exist um this one it says andrew uh making a mouth popping sound okay that's we're going to start and i'm just gonna hit play and it's just gonna play a few of these okay and including the walsh helm

scream okay here we go thanks uh-oh thanks i really blood drives don't give up shoot them out yeah i loved it shoot them out i have to poo blah blah blah blah damn thanks i don't know about you can i get some pants don't forget your booties was it fun oh i'm suing google why wait everything's fucked. I have a bad brain. That doesn't sound great. Oh my god, that became art. That's actually kind of funny.

That became art. Is this chat GPT? Walsh GPT! It's finally out of the

beta test and we're ready to present it to the world. That created its own sort of bizarre poetry.

I will say, I thought I was going to hate that a lot more than I did. That made

me chuckle. Well, because also it kind of helps for you probably that none of them were like fully formed thoughts. You know what Andrew It was kind of like jazz

It was, it was a cosmic gumbo

Oh man Well thank you very much Dr. Kirk For all your support both in the financial department In dedicating so much of your time to the show department And in being on the program We really appreciate you Maestro

Oops, I was taking notes Okay say maestro again, it'll be cool Maestro On your mark Get set Now ready Go

We've also got to thank the Jameses of Stanwood. Of course, that would be Dave Carey and Gwenny. Some of our longest, some of our most ride or die listeners from the Stanwood 10s. I'm trying to remember, maybe it says in the message, I'm trying to think how old Gwenny is now. I mean, Gwenny has been in this lifestyle from, maybe from conception, I don't even know, but certainly from a very young age. Hi there, Dave, Carey, and Gwenny from Stanford, Stanwood, rather, here. This year we'd like to use this time to send out all the good vibes to the Mariners. Okay, this is a message I can get behind. Dave.

just bought an old school am radio to listen to day games in his classroom nice that would immediately make dave my favorite teacher oh yeah you know what i mean like if it was like lunch and i popped my head and he was listening to a business person special um eating an apple and just like listening to uh julio rodriguez go yard that would that on an am radio i mean that would absolutely that would endear him to me as a student um because as he writes it spring training games start in a few short days this is the year we know you can't make music requests without getting spotified but could y'all play this okay i'm gonna click on this link no i'll click on it

i don't want you to see what it is okay i'm not gonna find it i don't i don't just take a listen

luckily my computer takes forever so what is it that they would like here it is i'm just gonna

hit play i would love a base hit into the gap and they could win it with junior speed the stretch and the 0-1 pitch on the way to Edgar Martinez swung on the line

here comes Joy here is Junior to third base they're going to wave him in the throw to the plate will be late the Mariners are going to play for the American League championship I don't believe it it just continues my oh my Edgar Martinez with a double ripped down the left field line and they are going crazy at the kingdom.

Nice. Unbelievable. I mean, I cannot, I just don't think I could be more excited about this baseball season. I was in LA and I was walking to pick up my laundry that I took to a laundromat because I was there so long that I ran out of clothes. And on my way out to the laundromat, I passed a guy with a Mariners hat on. And I was, but I was just like, yeah i don't know i need to bother this guy whatever i'm just i'm walking to get my stuff he's walking to do his thing but then i got my laundry and i walked back and we passed each other again and i was like okay that's a sign and i said go mariners we're gonna be good this year and he just mumbled something and i thought is he living andrew's nightmare wearing a hat for a team

that maybe he's not as into he just liked the logo or something right exactly i thought maybe

his name it was the it was the kind of old school one that has an s oh yeah um from like the i don't know if that would have been like the Jim LaFever era or whatever but like I thought maybe his name is just Stanley and he just liked the s maybe he you know maybe he loves the Mariners he just didn't want to get into it maybe he likes the Mariners but hasn't spent the last two months lying in bed thinking about the mayor I don't know where he was at on things but I was expecting because we're on a random street in Los Angeles yeah we're gonna be amazing this year I kind of thought maybe he would like be like yeah did you see that catch Julio made in the world baseball classic but um we didn't have that moment and i was like oh okay and it's so you know even if you

didn't have that moment just somebody being like you know like i would have probably just said go m's because like they're when you're in a different city like it's it's compulsory i think to acknowledge like as a browns fan also keep in mind that the browns were bad for so long that if i saw somebody wearing a browns jersey or browns hat here in seattle i would feel really compelled to be like go browns and just keep it quick or whatever but let them know that like we are strangers in a strange land but we're in this together right and in la you see something like if it was up here in seattle i do get comments on my mariners caps even up here in seattle sometimes i always like to hear it just all you got to do is be like go ems like that's literally all you have to say it's weird that this guy reacted in that way especially in a different

city he should have been like you're absolutely right geography has everything to do with this Like if you're in Seattle, it's not it's not so out of the ordinary to see someone wearing Mariner's gear. But if you're in another city, then, you know, you've got to acknowledge. I'm not even I don't want to make it sound like this guy was being standoffish. We were like literally walking past each other. I'm also listening to this podcast, Lost Hills, at the time. Like there's kind of a lot going on. So, you know, I don't want to judge him by that. But I did think it was funny because my next thought was this is why Andrew so carefully considers any sports garb he wears. because he needs to be ready with a with an appropriate response i when i see somebody um

like wearing a mariner's hat in another city or especially like i say like um like a brown situation i will say one of two things i'll just say go ems or go browns i don't do obviously the browns anymore that's not my that's not my scene anymore but like you know to use that example but or i'll say love that hat you know which is a way of saying like i see you you know what i mean I mean there is a chance you weren't looking For notes here but there is a chance That maybe you gave him too much information To deal with in this quick Because you're giving him some Analysis then like how do you Respond to that you know and then He's being surprised that a stranger's talking to him And now he's got to respond to that

I'm not wearing any Mariner's garb so it's kind of out of the blue

I would just stick with it go M's Go Mariner's

You

yeah okay well you know how uh the stanwood tens sign off no outfield wall too tall stanwood tens no marine layer too thick thank you can't we do something about that do you remember

when everybody was only for mariner hitters they brought in the fences i feel like that was near the beginning of my mariners fandom sort of there was like so much talk and they ended up doing it they brought in the fences because they're like we can't deal with this marine layer here anymore We have to, have to get to top stories.

But, dude, I'm sorry. That, the ending of the World Baseball Classic, I cannot think of a more storybook event than Japan is leading the U.S. by a run, and you have Shohei Otani pitching against his teammate Mike Trout for all of the marbles. That's like, I mean, that is a cinematic ending.

Yeah, Japan leading the U.S. by a run. Is that what you said? Correct. Okay, gotcha. That's what I meant to say. I think that is what you said. My brain was...

And they ended up winning. Japan ended up winning. But, like, to have these two, I mean, two generational players in Shohei Otani and Mike Trout, who are on the same team most of the time.

But a team that can't win with these two generational players. Like, literally, Trout, you know, this is... For both of... Well, no. For both of them, I think they both said it was the most important game they each played on U.S. soil.

I believe Defector said, Artie Moreno should be forced to sell the Angels and then buried under the stadium. To put it mildly about the fortunes of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Anyway, thanks to our dazzling donors, we would not be here without you.

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

All right, let's get to this little tape that I heard the other day. In promoting it now twice and referring to it a bunch, I'm sure I've already over-promised on this. But I saw this on TikTok, and I thought it was kind of interesting. So Jonah Hill and Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, and then Christopher Mintz-Plasse, the guy that played McLovin, they're all in a studio, presumably in Los Angeles, And they're recording the director's commentary track for Superbad, which also, by the way, feels like a throwback, right? Have we lost the director's commentary thing because we don't watch DVDs anymore?

Yeah, I think, I mean, we talked about this on the show and maybe somebody hipped us to like some productions are releasing some sort of director's commentary that you can get on streaming services. but if so it's certainly not common and like that is something that was very unique well things can't be very unique that was something that was unique to the cd or the dvd era maybe laser disc but certainly dvds and um it just as the as the as the technology changes the art form changes too and that's a real bummer to to lose something you don't usually lose things as things get more

technological you know because you'd have that dvd and you'd play it and then you'd like if you really loved the movie you'd go to that like you know extras menu and just be like how do i get more of this experience and there would often be director's commentary which is you're right it's like we've unfortunately don't have that anyway this is them making that so what's going on is there again i believe in la in new york in a different studio is the director and creator of the film judd apatow and it turns out judd apatow also has his at the time i don't want to i don't know maybe six or seven year old daughter maude apatow with him which you're going to hear about and the very beginning of this tape is the actual soundtrack of super bad right so it's actually like i believe it's jonah hill in the movie talking and then we're going to hear jonah hill doing the director's commentary and what basically unfolds is he's swearing while he's doing the director's commentary, which is making Judd Apatow mad because Judd Apatow's daughter, Maude, is also there in New York listening in. And I found it really interesting. I was really surprised that it bothered Judd Apatow.

Now, let me ask you this. Is this how it appeared to your understanding? Did they preserve this and include this on the DVD commentary? Or this is an outtake that has now been leaked?

I do not know the answer to that, but i'm hoping it's an well i guess i'm not hoping it's an outtake it was certainly i don't think i'd ever watch the director's commentary of super bad but it sounds like an outtake to me if that makes any sense like it sounds like the sound engineer was rolling on this whole thing a la spock sabotaged the system and then it sort of leaked somewhere i mean it would be a very it'd be a really interesting and edgy move for them to Thank you. this on the commentary um maybe it's on there because i don't know but it's it it has the feeling to me of something that was not meant to be as they say outward facing so that's the kind of setup for this because there's a lot of voices i've also tried to like take out as many of the swears as i could find at least the f-words so it sounds like it's glitching it's not i just that's that's me trying to preserve some of the young ears in our audience but anyway starts with jonah hill in the movie and then it then it jonah hill starts talking in real life and then this whole

whole thing sort of unfolds all right we can figure this out right why the wouldn't i report you just hit me with your car this scene is hilarious man jonah jonah yeah i was over there oh sorry dude what is this bring your daughter to work day i mean hey be cool man just be cool

you know i this is the only way i can do it i don't have a babysitter i'm in new york city here to do conan and cobert by the way i don't have a babysitter so what am i gonna do leave

her like uh with the concierge i don't know dude i'm not it's like home alone too it's super bad

i cursed the whole movie it's a pretty good joke from sarah michael sarah it's home alone too like just leave your child alone in new york and let them have a culkin-esque adventure

commentary i mean it's just like whatever you know i'm not trying to ruin it let's just go

back i'm not trying to ruin it it's kind of ruining the commentary joe yeah i can't You know what? I'm not 15 years old and don't have a kid. I'm an adult like Greg. I have a child, right?

I wouldn't bring I wouldn't bring it to work with me If I had a mod I wouldn't bring her to work even even though she's great Because people are trying to work and part of my job is saying sorry Hey, hey, hey, come on. Hey, hey, did you hear that mud mud? I'm sorry. Don't your dad is just being difficult right now

you know just say it yes hey you know i don't need i don't i don't need this commentary we'll

go to the museum of modern art i don't care go go to moma i'll go to moma go to moma and not curse

oh by the way there seth rogan drops a totally homophobic joke kind of transforming moma into something that's adjacent to a slur that we wouldn't say um so that's also this is judd Apatow responds to that, too, which is kind of interesting.

You know what? You're the guys who are going to get in trouble for saying words like that when I'm not here to tell you not to say those words.

Yeah, people that buy the Superbad DVD are real offended by the F word. Let's just stop arguing. Let's just stop arguing. It's just a crutch.

It's a crutch. Find a way to be funny without it.

I have been funny. I cursed one time, and you're giving me shit like it's a big deal. Don't say that in front of my daughter. Don't say the S word or the F word. I don't know who's younger. Who's more mature, you or Maude?

Maud's not complaining that we're swearing? Yeah, Maud wants you to swear. Maud's having a good time. She wants you to swear.

Because I do it doesn't mean that she's going to do it, Joe. I know, but they copy.

It's copying. It's like, you know, she's going to hear you say things or see you do things, and then I've got to deal with a nine-year-old acting like Jonah.

Okay, so she's nine. Now we know how old Maud Apatow is in this. How are you feeling about this so far?

Well, it's interesting about the slur. The way it's set up there that it rhymes with MoMA or whatever, I can't quite figure it. But is it the F word?

that's a that's a no no it's it's it's okay it's it's a abbreviated version of the word homosexual

okay and the joke yeah yeah it's interesting that um i'm glad that apatow kind of stood up for that and when he said a crutch i almost want i wondered if he was talking about that more than he was talking about the swearing he's talking about the swearing and yeah he's trying to say

to jonah like it's it's just it's it's a crutch to swear as a form of humor i do think it's funny though because i've listened to this tape now many times and i sort of see both people's points like uh i kind of see i kind of see jonah hill's point in that the movie has a ton of swearing in it so the people watching this are they're watching the director's commentary they're not probably averse to that and you have judd apatow writing and creating this movie where there's a lot of profanity but then not wanting it to happen in this other sort of context because he happens to have his daughter there i'm also unbelievably charmed by the fact that judd apatow had to bring his daughter to the table yeah right because he didn't have a babysitter so it's like i kind of go and i also think that jonah hill is being kind of a little petulant here um which you know i find it you know jonah hill was a was a sort of an unknown before super bad if i have his career arc correct and it was you know a big thing for him to get to be the star of super bad it was a real breakout thing and it's almost like you're hearing somebody who is maybe he was like this day one of super bad but you're hearing someone who does not feel in any way cowed by judd apatow who at this point is already like i think considered like a comedy master yes although this is all i mean

this is huge right like i think i've seen super bad i don't even know if i've seen super bad it was it's like i was just kind of the wrong age for it um but like apatow obviously hugely respected before

or super bad but wasn't super bad like his almost like his i don't know like huge breakout hit where

everybody knows his name i you know what i don't know if it was the 40 year old virgin or super bad or one other film of his that i'm not i don't know which one like what order the films came in where it was suddenly like oh this guy judd apatow has got this whole kind of style that people are loving but what i'm hearing from jonah hill is not somebody who was like a completely obscure and now all of a sudden got to be in a movie but somebody who's very who's feeling very comfortable in their position in life to where they're like kind of like snapping back at this person who's maybe not technically their boss but certainly someone that seems above the food chain for them at this point anyway this is and also the thing you and i were talking i think yesterday on the shine drew about how tone for you and i like we're so or i'll speak for myself i'm so sensitive to tone what i find amazing about this conversation or what i should say is what i find interesting is every time i think it's like oh dude someone's feelings just got permanently hurt something happens that just kind of seems like no they're not even that upset they're just arguing so in a minute they put mod on the line which if i'm judd apatow and i'm legitimately angry about this and like friendships are ending here i'm not like oh and by the way you want to ask my kid like here let's put my kid on the line like i would be like we're out of here Right. Like, I don't every time I think I know where this argument is going and that someone's just going to be like, it's literally like going to be the end of the association between these people. Something happens where I think, oh, no one's taking this very seriously, like as seriously as I would.

Why don't we ask what she thinks? Yeah. What do you think? Are you going to start cursing? You know, it's bad, right? So you're not going to start cursing. What do you think of people who curse? Your dad curses when you're not there. you know your toys those were bought with cursing yeah okay that's by the way that's seriously

a good line yeah it is from Rogan you know your toys they were bought with cursing that's my Rogan impression no you don't

forget it I'll see you guys later

don't go don't go is he actually going Judd, have fun at F.A.O. Schwartz buying your baby toys.

That's also, I have to say, kind of a funny burn. Yeah. Anytime you can work F.A.O. Schwartz into a put-down, I'm there for it.

F-U-C-K, Schwartz. Bye, Judd. Bye, Maude. Are we rid of him? Bye, Maude. Sorry, your dad's a baby. Is he gone? No, he's lingering by the door looking pissed off. Enjoy your coos. Judd. Bye, Maude. I need you.

funny because you also hear christopher i think that's christopher mince plass i don't exactly know how you say his name the guy who played mick lovin he hasn't said anything yet this whole time and then he's like uh judd please stay i need you and it just seems to fit with the personalities of the characters in the film because he's this kind of nerdy guy who gets this really unconvincing fake id and i think the fake id says mick lovin on it you know um and it it seems to also be his personality whereas you have jonah hill who's this very um kind of uh you know confident whatever sort of person in the movie everyone seems to be kind of playing the role in this director's commentary argument that they're actually playing in the film well do you have more tape it's just at now it's just a bunch of them then um swearing at the end because now they can because uh judd and maude have left and it's actually not nothing else very interesting Oh, except Jonah Hill does start to say I can paraphrase You can hear him going, am I effed? He says the real thing I'm kind of effed, aren't I? I'm kind of effed So it's like, at the end I think it sets in when like Judd Apatow Literally leaves the recording booth That maybe Jonah Hill has pushed it too far But that's just what the end of the tape is

Well, this comes full circle I've been googling around a little bit Do you want some more context for this? I love it, yes Or do you want it to seem magical as it is? So I do believe

Wait a second, did Jonah Hill sing that song

at the beginning of today's tv that's what i'm learning i just got the email which is funny because we haven't published the show yet um i found a couple of things i'm just like grabbing little bits from around the web and you got to kind of you know take some stuff with a grain of salt but i'm learning two things number one this did stay in the the commentary and also according to um one website it is a it's kind of a bit that maybe they stumbled on maybe not but i guess apatow had tickets to take his daughter to spam a lot and so he was leaving anyway that too do they okay yeah so well i don't know then if if that but one site says that like apparently like this is listed in a lot of people's favorite commentaries because it's a moment but one says that like but while i love apatow's commitment to the bit it's clear that it is just that a bit still um they uh they do leave uh about halfway through the commentary but wait like i mean i don't i don't know if i don't think that's a bit well i mean i guess the argument here is the plan well and again i'm just trying to scrape this together as as we talk and so i'm not trying to set myself up as an expert here but according to some things i'm seeing online the the the fact that like they left halfway through was always the always the plan yeah that's sort of what's

like they they actually had an appointment they had to get to spam a lot yeah and whether or not

the swearing thing was like planned i mean there's a difference between like planning you and i will slip into bits that things you could describe as bits on the show too i consider myself sort of the judd apatow of pod of production i consider myself the mclovin yeah so i don't know like i guess the big thing is here i think we've confirmed that it does appear in the commentary like this people love this part of the commentary but it does sort of seem like it maybe there's

some exaggeration going on sure okay that would make sense also i haven't watched the full comment or listened to it or whatever the term is so i i would i would know more about it if i had more context so i don't i don't want to say that i'm disagreeing with the people who've posted about it because i bet you they have more info than i do i could see a world in which yeah there was an agreement that like wouldn't it be kind of funny if we had a blow up in the middle of the commentary and then we just left and maybe they're just doing such a good they're good at improv maybe they're good enough at improv that it really got me like it really it sounded to me like um it was believable to me so often when like there's something like this where it's like and then we'll do this you know i just it's so transparent yeah in this case i give them credit for sounding legitimately a little bit peeved but I can totally believe that they had a plan for something to blow up midway through the commentary

or I mean and for me like I even think potentially looser than that and again I'm not trying I mean I could be so wrong about all of this I mean this is the first time I'm hearing the tape and I'm googling around on sites like what even Hollywood cheat sheet or something but like so again I don't want to make it sound like I'm dying on this hill. I'm dying on this comedic hill. But it sort of feels...

This is the Jonah Hill I'm going to die on, Andrew.

Hey, it sort of feels like, not like, hey, we need to get into a fight halfway through because we've got these tickets, but maybe like, hey, guys, I'm probably going to have to ditch at some point during the taping. Okay, whatever. And then they're doing it. Maybe he really legitimately says, hey, man, don't swear around Maude, but sort of maybe half-joking, and maybe the pushback is sort of real or not. and then it seems like well we got to go see spam a lot anyway you know what i mean like not like we're in a stage of fight to walk out but just like a bunch of ingredients were there and they're kind of goofing and they're kind of kidding on the square a little bit and then they just kind of they're just like all right this is this is a good time to leave um i i definitely

believe that because when what i hadn't put together before because and i didn't play this part of the tape they're saying like enjoy spam a lot which hasn't been brought up previously that i was aware of so that also makes me think and then they're like spam a lot has swears in it too like they're kind of go they're they're zero i'll just play it for you okay because i don't know if

i'm needle dropping at the right point but mod enjoy strange not being able to witness all this i know yeah it's gonna be awesome i haven't seen spam a lot but judd and mod are seeing spam there's

swear words in spam watch there's swear words in spam a lot maybe you'll have to get your tampons

oh that's always that's nice too i think that's why i i mean i'll tell you this too like uh i uh the the very end of this thing which i don't even have on tape because i was like there's no way we're playing that on our show it's just so puerile yeah so 17 year old kids like so what they they decide that now that judd's gone they can say all the things they wanted to say and the stuff they're saying is just the dumbest kind of thing that you would just say as like a not even a 17 year old but as like a 12 year old if somebody was like just say all of the dirty you know dirtiest most foul thing you can say like which I don't just reminds me like I actually really like Jonah Hill I thought that movie Stutz that he did was really interesting with this kind of therapist of his have you seen that

it is I weren't you in our dazzling donor Dr. Kirk Honda talking about that on the show during the winter games yeah yes we were

everything comes back to Dr. Kirk today But yeah, I thought that movie was really intriguing Anyway, I like Jonah Hill a lot But I think I like Jonah Hill A 35-year-old Jonah Hill Probably more than I like a 17-year-old Jonah Hill Because I guess I was And I liked the movie Superbad a lot when it came out But I was struck by how Again, to use the word again How puerile these children were Who were making this movie

movie yeah and that's the thing you get a certain i mean super bad what year did that come out like i mean i don't know it's it's you know it feels like a modern movie but it's it is of already kind of a different time and i go back and i listen to early episodes of comedy bang bang which has been around almost exactly as long as tbtl i think about 15 years and i've noticed lately that scott ackerman will start making kind of references on the show like you know sign up for our premium service where you can listen to the archives but don't go too far back in the archives and it's funny to hear him kind of casually address that because one time before i was uh whatever it doesn't matter one time when i had access to the archives before i was paying for it i found some sort of secret loophole that allowed me to go back to episode number one and i started doing what like some people do to our show which was actually listening in order i was there was a secret link some of the comedy kind of stinks you will be happy to know that um genevieve and i now pay for comedy bang bang world uh and we support that and we uh listen legally um it's an investment in your family's future exactly well i mean i talk about i talk about like kind of steal quote unquote stealing baseball games because i feel like the mlb is such a screw and they're so disrespectful to their fans but like when it's something that i actually appreciate and want to support i do support it having said all of that like it is astounding to go back to those early days of a bunch of guys and it was almost always guys and they're improv-ing and how much it always comes back to dick jokes or sex jokes or i mean it's just like they cannot get out of the loop there's always and i i think maybe the expectation from comedians has changed hopefully now in 2023 even even compared to 15 years ago but it is astounding how it gets so juvenile and unfunny so quickly with a certain type and this was you know you know a lot of people like the kind of bromancy nature of this era of movies and all the all the fellas involved that you're talking about there are some sweet moments but it also really there's this obsession didn't these guys like make a monster movie too that at the end of it end up just being a huge phallus i remember seeing it in the theaters like with james franco and are you thinking of merchant and ivory it is it was a merchant and ivory film was james franco in any of those anyway i'm just babbling now but it's really disappointing and and i actually agree with apatow it is a crutch and it's not funny

right i mean i guess i guess i don't know why i feel like i need to sort of have some kind of unified field theory of all this stuff but as somebody who also i mean tbtl was never that that far down that road because in the early days you know we had thankfully jen's guiding hand and then i've had you along for the ride so it's like it's never it could never descend too far into just kind of misogynistic bro stuff but there are so many things that i said in the early days of tbtl that i absolutely would not stand by now and i guess my unified field theory or my way of describing it is i hope anyway that as long as we all are capable to capable of of of seeing where we went off the rails or seeing where we were using words that were hurtful or terms that were offensive i don't think there's any way to insulate yourself around having done that stuff but what you can do is when it's presented you can say oh yeah you can acknowledge it you can move on and you can act differently you know that's kind of because otherwise i'll just i'll really get in my head if i just think about all of the things i've said in my life oftentimes into microphones that is just not the way we talk about something anymore you know and i think the

hard part is to not you can go two ways i mean you can probably go a lot more ways than that but let's just go with you can go two ways when somebody offers you some constructive criticism about the type of thing you said, especially when we're talking about being sensitive to how it's hitting other people's ears, right? And I always think of Paul F. Tompkins. He used to do, you know, whatever. He's an improver. He would do an imitation of, I want to say Mike Tyson, maybe. Definitely a black man of some sort, of some sort, of some fame, I should say. And I don't remember who it was. And I remember hearing him talk about this later that he stopped doing that because he got some feedback from a listener saying hey as a white guy maybe you shouldn't be doing imitations of black people and his initial reaction and i remember him saying like you know we all have this initial reaction at first it's like what are you talking about what i'm doing is not racist like there's not a hint of like the joke is not that he's black i'm just doing this thing like he would dig in immediately but he's like but it's one of those things that the more i thought about i'm like yeah why do i have to die on this hill to bring that back you know why why do it like yeah why do i have why do i feel the need that i have to defend that like maybe like i do a million characters like why just maybe don't do that and he said that's why i don't do i don't do imitations of black people anymore and like he's and he's clearly happy

come to that and i think it's for the best right and i feel like you and i maybe can sometimes do the same thing somebody will give us some feedback about something and initially you'll be like oh come on that's not come i didn't say that because i wanted to be hurtful come on but i think there are some people who take that and they stay entrenched and then they start to feel embattled

to kind of like and you start to build up the wall you start to build the walls of the trench higher and higher yes then and then next thing you know you're adam carola exactly right who i obviously i've been on his show and he's been on this show and i was such a fan of his but you see that happen with folks where they decide instead of kind of going and and by the way just because you're listening doesn't mean you have to agree with every piece of feedback yeah but this other thing of just being like well you can't say anything anymore and i'm now i'm going to start to push back on all this pc nonsense this political correctness run amok and you start to build those walls up higher and higher and then just one day you're just in this just this kind of nightmare world of darkness where where you know you suddenly everything about your the group of people you're talking to and how you're regarded in the culture has shifted i mean this is if you have like a if you have a popular enough show that the culture regards you at all like you can really end up in this weird place that you probably didn't even intend to get to yep exactly i think

louie is a good example of that he wrote a really good apology or somebody wrote a good apology that he signed it seemed sincere and then he goes away for a while after a scandal then he comes back and he comes back not as somebody who's like there's so much humor to do but it's clear that like he felt attacked and he felt probably belittled and he probably felt embarrassed and he felt and whatever he did he came back as a comedian that some people say is still like you know really funny but like he i heard him come back and kind of like he he kind of aligns himself with being a victim like that he's a victim of cancel culture and like that's his takeaway from it and that

puts you on the other side as far as i'm concerned it's funny with louis ck too because i see because i look at so much tiktok by the way maybe tomorrow we can talk about what we talk about when we talk about tiktok like what what my um you know what would i do if they banned it in this country if that actually happened because today the ceo is is on capitol hill but i do see a fair amount of louis ck on my tiktok and i generally just scroll past it but every once in a while if i watch even let's say a minute of the two minute video i have to say i don't know if it's just like once you sort of adjust the angle that you're looking at someone or their work i mean i used to think that he was absolutely one of the greatest stand comedians of all time and now i just feel like he just seems whiny and mean and kind of punches down and i don't like the voices he does i literally don't like the voices he does he has this voice that he uses i don't know if this is material that he was performing before he went away or if it's newer but it like he has this voice that he does for anyone who's having any kind of internal struggle and it sounds to me stereotypically sort of fey he might throw some kind of lisp and it's just like it's he just i honestly think he's unfunny now like I actually think he's not funny anymore and I don't know if he was never funny or if now I just judge it differently

that's an interesting question

it's really strange like did Louis C.K. get actually measurably less funny or am I just looking at it differently I mean I saw him live I was in the front row of a show of his in Seattle and had a wonderful time years ago you know but it's hard to know but anyway Power Out Power Out

There's a right way to rock And a wrong way to roll You can just listen to your soul Just remember that life is number one You can be having so much fun Just remember that life is much fun You can be number one

All right, just got a handful of Blursdays here today, Luke. The first one comes from listener Doug, who says, and I think this raises an interesting question right off the bat. Doug says, happy Blursday to my awesome real and TBTL nephew, Jack. So if Jack is his TBTL nephew.

I already know what it is. Okay, go ahead. I bet you that Doug Talked to one of his siblings And talked them into TVTL And then that sibling's kid Wouldn't that be the logical

That makes sense to me Back to Jack Jack is turning the big 1-3 And we can't wait to travel to New York City A la Laszlo To celebrate him At his bar mitzvah Mazel tov Uncle Doug in Bothell For however long I like

Now why

in the world do I not

Thank you.

have most devious bastard in New York City on this computer, Andrew, which should have more things on it. Can you do an imitation of it? You really are the most devious bastard in New York City.

That's so much better than playing the tape.

With Seth Rogan on the side of Rogan?

I was wondering what that was. I thought that was a tummy gun. Jack, I'm sorry, that was not part of your birthday gift

No, I apologize

Happy Blurs, hey Jack Rold says, hey everybody, Rold I'd like to wish my oldest five, Hayden, a happy birthday The coolest now 16 year old that I know Can't wait to celebrate with you this weekend Love ya, Dad That's good What a great family Happy Blurs Hey, guys. Barry here. Broadcast, Barry. I wanted to wish a very happy 39th Blur's Day to my 11th Sam coming up on Sunday. Hey, that's my Grandma Klink Klink's birthday. Grandma Simsek, happy Blur's Day to you, too.

Have you told that to Sam?

I haven't. I don't think I...

There's a new reason for him to celebrate his birthday extra hard. I know. It's because of your Grandma Klink Klink's.

Well, Sam's turning 39. My Grandma's turning 101. It's not a contest, but...

You're going to live forever. You're going to learn how to fly high.

The way I take care of myself. Happy Blur's Day, Sam. I didn't realize that you are turning 39 this Sunday. But anyway, back to Barry's note here. Sam, you're such an amazing, thoughtful person. I love being next to you. Thank you for putting up with me and all of my shenanigans as we journey through life. Now that is a romantic Blur's Day. Yeah, it is. will in worthington or worthington ohio will like me an erstwhile browns fan heartbroken browns fan i'd like to wish a belated blurs day to my five nora she is now nine years old and loves communicating in tbtl drops i had to hide the tbtl sound machine from her because she wore out one of the buttons she has appeared on tbtl with her own drop what's the point of this freaking podcast. I love you, Nora, and I'm so proud of you. Papa. I don't think you have that drop, right?

Well, my sound machine, the battery is dying, I think. Uh-oh.

Or Nor got a hold of it. Is that it?

It only plays the first second of these drops. I was going to say, I hope it isn't Don't Miss the Sausage Fest. I hope that's not the one that was worn out. Oh, that's a good point. But when I play that, that's all it plays.

Wow. Well, that's kind of a bummer. I got one on my side, too. Oh, you're doing that down there? Yeah, yeah.

Because mine will only play. My Dropbox will only play the first.

Oh, no.

This actually would be a fun game sometime. As I play a drop, you try to guess what it is actually going to be. Ready?

Okay, that's obviously Go Browns. I forgot that that's on the machine.

How about this one?

Spock, Sabotage the System?

Wow, that's good. Yes. How about this one? Oh, this is the hardest one. There's no way you're going to get this one.

This is like a good FM radio drive time thing. We're just going to play you a second of a song.

There's no way you're going to get this one. It's just not possible.

Well, the thing is, it's a little cheaty because it's on the box. And so there's only like, what, 12 for 16 or whatever options on the sound box. I would love to legitimately play this game just from your sound bank. But okay, I'll shut up. Take a listen.

How about this one?

Oh, this song goes up to all the coffee lovers. Come on. Okay. What was the tough one, though?

Oh, God.

Play it again.

Don't miss the sausage fest? I was trying to say I was drunk. I drank eight beers. I was doing so well. Well, that's, I mean, that's how are you supposed to get anything off of that?

Well, again, one in 16.

Oh, this is actually harder because it's only playing a nanosecond. I believe is there wait Oh okay Hey what do you guys talk about on your show every day Oh I don't know this and that This is supposed to be that's a tuna bro

Oh no there's not enough

Can you tell by that sound that that would be him saying That's a tuna bro

I mean sort of tell that it starts with a You know not a soft syllable Like an S sound Or a vowel

That's supposed to be jalapeno This one Let's see how about this one

Oh That's not Spock sabotage the system It is Did you already get that one

Well anyway happy birthday everybody we still have some folks yeah one more here but heavy blursy nora that was your moment

and i apologize for it thanks for the content my goodness and finally we have a note here from our pal san jose barbie who says i want to give a birthday shout out to me i am on a trip to new zealand remember uh san jose barbie i believe was maybe a dazzling donor recently and was talking about spending time in new zealand but check this out so i'm currently on a trip to new zealand for my 50th birthday because as I have been saying you only turn 50 once well it turns out my entire premise is false as you read this message I'm now 50 in New Zealand where it's Friday the 24th but I'm only 49 in California where I normally live so I'll be turning 50 again tomorrow hooray

and you know what Barbie a hearty to you on your birthday There you go.

Happy Blur's Day, everybody. That was a weird one.

That was fun. That was fun. We have fun. We do. We do have fun around here. All right. And we've got more fun coming your way tomorrow. We're all done for today, but we'll be back here then with some more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have yourself a great Thursday. Stay safe out there. Go Mariners. You're going to hear more of that starting very soon. You're going to hear that a lot at the end of the program, I believe. Anyway, we'll see you tomorrow. Until then, please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all.

if you want to pick a fight with your body's sexual chi it's just going to drive it inwards and that invites disease and death man i'm not a fan of death power out