Muse

I can have a meme war with anybody and destroy them. And I've done it. And people actually bail at the end and go, Who is this guy? He's got like every meme ever produced on the internet. He can knock us out with his memes. And I do, I have tons of memes. I just keep memeing them to death until they just surrender. Because they just can't do it anymore. They don't have the memes that I have. A lot of times in a meme war, it's all about speed. You've got to get to your memes quick. If you can't get to them quick, you're useless. They'll just keep blasting you with memes. And you can't fire back. You have to know where your memes are. I'm stocked. I got weapons. I have memes. So if you piss me off and I have to dig in there, and I don't want to do it. I mean, if you make me do that, you're in a lot of trouble. I don't want to do it. I really don't. I don't want to press the button and go in there and get these memes. But if it comes to that, I will do it. And once I do it, they'll come. They'll come rapidly. And you'll be, like, overwhelmed. And I'll do it. And it's a lot of fun for me because I figure, what's the next best meme for this? And I just keep going and going, and I've got better ones. So I don't start off with my best. I start off with good ones. Then I get the better, and then I get to the heavy arsenal, and then I'll blow them away.

T-B-T-L. Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is? It's Friday. Friday. Got to get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

www.this and www.that let's www.explain it i used to be in radio and now i'm a podcaster

does anyone know what a podcast is i don't understand the question and i won't respond

to it okay this is a rumor that's out there on the internet and you think it's nothing tell you what i'm gonna look into it okay quick question the internet that's the one with email right yes Got it? I'm on it.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of TBTL, a show that just might be too beautiful to live. First of all, you must wear pants for this. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I try to bring all my stuff here in this studio. Everything I've got is here. Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where we are getting some of that classic March 28th snow. Snow, snow, snow, snow, it won't be long before... Just imagine that cartoon guy having the coffee in the house that's on fire, but instead the house is filling up with snow five days into spring. This is fine. This is fine. I do like playing this music, though. Oh, I long to clear a path and lift a spade of snow. But anyway, that's what's happening in the weather department. Here's what's happening in the episode department. We're at episode 3,908 in A Collector's Series.

Let the fun begin.

Podcast news out of National Public Radio.

Podcasts are the future of show business.

They've announced that they are discontinuing production of four podcasts, including Invisibilia, which is kind of a flagship show for them. It seems to reflect the ever-changing media landscape. So we'll take a look at what's going on over there. And mostly just thank all of you, the tens of listeners, that we're still here doing this. It's quite an honor. Oh, speaking of podcasts, I would like to finally talk about this podcast, Lost Hills. It's a mystery of a murder in Malibu. NASA's history, the future's a mystery. Oh, and I have, I've smelled the sulfurs of hell. Stinky! And lived to tell the tale, but remain deeply confused as to why a cleaning product that I purchased smells so, so bad. And luckily I know just the person to ask. The longest running Cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's also our resident cleaning expert.

Clean as your mama's forehead.

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Couple of notes here at the top of the show. Number one, music for your weekend. I'm going to present to you today, Luke, what is potentially the best song ever written. Wow. Not to oversell it. Okay. Do you think that's overselling it? I guess you haven't heard it yet.

I got to hear the song first. I am playing a song for you That I'll just say is a little to the A little to the side of how we normally do it Which is why I didn't send you the link Why I'm playing that from here in Blizzard Town, USA Is it snowing in Seattle?

No, it is not Did it snow at all today for you? Not that I, no I mean, I'm trying to think I opened the Yeah, no, I would have seen No, I don't

don't think i saw any snow out there it was it's sort of starting to dissipate now but i mean it was full giant like huge it wasn't really sticking but it was still unsettling on march 28th yeah i

believe it although aka the 24th not completely unprecedented oh yes not even the 28th did you

say the 28th okay i'm less i think i said the 28th at the top of the show i'm less you know what i'm four days less upset by this okay yeah no let everybody know meteorologists always say

grandma clink clink's birthday is the cutoff right and we all know that is march 26th as she turns uh 101 this weekend a little another shout out i know i mean it's 101 i think she gets two

shout outs on the show clink clink sees snow she's never gonna go i hope she didn't see snow

she lives in arizona it's the it's the way to live forever that's fantastic what a great that's why so many sunbirds move down that's right the other thing um so anyway i'm excited about that it's It's something that I stumbled on in an unlikely place. I'm going to play it for you. The other thing is, and there's no need for me to bring this up. I want to hear about your cleaning product debacle. But I just got to say, because it's like an unruly nose hair or something, is my computer, I realize, is not tethered in using Ethernet right now. It's on the Wi-Fi. So I don't know if you've heard little chirps on my voice. I hear a tiny, tiny, every now and then with you. And it's my fault, you know. I mean, the nice thing is I know why we're having the issue because I look over at my computer and clearly. Should we go to the break early? My dongle is loose, Luke. I mean, that's, the dongle is loose.

Who's got two thumbs and a loose dongle? That guy.

And so it slipped out of its socket and it's on Wi-Fi now. I think it's fine, but like I say, I compared it to an irritating hair because it's like one of those things where it's not that big of a deal, but like I can't stop worrying it. well should we just go to the break early let's just go right now have we ever i'm not kidding

what's the downside let's go to the break let's okay wait for the music to end and this is the thing that's so fun about the show for the listeners even though this is the 3908th time we've done it new things can still happen what if we went to the break like possibly the earliest we've ever done during a regular edition of the show we go to the break i mean man what a boon for today's dazzling donors i mean they'd be right up there they'd be above the fold wow yeah and

then what do we do we charge them more later like we send them we send them the fine print

fine print clearly states if your if your dazzling donor message is read above the fold above the fold the 10 minute fold yes that's right why don't we just do that and then we can fix the dongle uh we'll we'll read the dazzling donors and then the beauty part is if we get on whole thing about this supposed cleaning product we don't have to go to the break at 50 and then do a crazy thing where suddenly i'm telling you we're skipping the top stories etc what if we just

did that i'm gonna raise my hand it's actually a nose hair it's uh it's just a real the wi-fi is fine i just got to take care of this thing it's driving me bananas wait it is a nose no i'm just kidding it reminded me of the saxondale drop where he's talking about anger and flatulence and then at the end he's like yeah he's just he raises his hand he's just talking about flatulence

exactly no i i have no nose for a moment that was good acting because i really i i was forced to reconsider my entire conception of you within three seconds oh good when i was like first of all i didn't even honestly i kind of respected i respected your game i was like this is a guy has got a nose hair situation but he knew that if he if he lied and said it was a connectivity issue that's more like critical to the show happening and so that is like a good cover story to uh go to a break disconnect and then reconnect and in the meantime you're just out there plucking a

nose just plucking like crazy i mean it raises the question why could i not take care of that during the show like couldn't i get you on a bit of a stem winder right mute my microphone and go

to town and then and then you turn your mic back on and i can still hear i can hear that there are tears in your eyes those tears i mean honestly that is a really i've i've dated people who have taken it upon themselves and been married to folks who have taken it upon themselves to occasionally do some grooming on me oh you've got a wild i get some wild uh eyebrow uh eyebrows i guess eyebrow hairs and uh also an occasional nose hair i'm a pretty non-hersuit person but i do have some nose hair and i've had a couple plucked and oh that is i mean that's like a that's a physical it's very vivid physical sort of sense memory of how much that makes your eyes want a lot yeah the nose

specifically right like having anything kind of plucked and you know god forbid i've never had anything waxed i do not think that i could handle that for you no you don't see that in my future

I don't.

Genevieve's out of town this weekend. What if I...

used this weekend to just get really into waxing really body mani-pedi really into body waxing

get it get a sugar there's something there's some kind of thing i see signs for it's like a it's called like a sugar rub which you're not thinking you have a legit massage parlor right

there's a salt scrub that genevieve loves no i know that's like an olympic right yeah

like that korean spa no there's something called sugar waxing which i don't understand what exactly that is but it waxing and sugaring sugaring is some way of removing body hair but i i'm like is that really sugar like that just seems like an odd i feel like with that kind of industry there's always a new thing like for a while it was eyebrow threading do you know about this oh yeah oh heck yeah where you would like somebody would actually loop a thread around your eyebrow hairs and use that to pull them instead of i guess tweezers yeah that makes your eyes water too different

than the nose but oh boy i'll bet you that gets you doesn't seem fun no um i just feel like it's

an industry where there's always some new thing that people are doing that's supposed to be the new way to do it and then it's that's the new way for a year or two and then there's a new new way the new way that we do tbtl is andrew we're going to a break right now i'm gonna fix the dongle i've plucked some hairs out of various parts of my body i don't want to talk about put them all in a jar and let me guess uh and then i will be right back with more tbtl stay with us

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These are the wonderful, generous people who will be paying more money to TBTL due to this prime, prime real estate they're enjoying. That's not true.

You know, we started chatting about waxing and whatnot. We might not have got—if I defined above the fold as the 10-minute mark, we—I lost track. I don't know that we— You know what? We started waxing, and then we waned right past the—

Okay, well, good news, Sarah Golden and Matt Phillips of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Just the standard donation you've been making is perfectly adequate. It is more than adequate. Thank you, guys. Sarah and Matt say, we've been together for 22 years, bought houses, moved across the country, had kids, and got married. And this year, we finally did it. We combined our donations to become one dazzling donor. Please let there be a Voltron reference later.

I was going to say, that's what we call Voltroning it in the dazzling donor community.

We are what you might call silent tens. We're not on the socials or sending in emails or V-mails, but we're still listening every day. Thank you for the many, many drops that now pepper our conversations, for providing the perfect soundtrack for puttering, and most of all for the constancy that helps us stay reasonable in these often unreasonable times. And with that, to bed, for tomorrow we rise at 9.30-ish. 8.30 for 9.00. Just kidding. We have young kids. We never sleep that late power out. Oh, man. Well, thank you, Sarah, Matt, and fam out there in Ann Arbor for sticking with us. We really do appreciate that. I feel like maybe it's just my Maybe it's selective memory But I feel like Maybe I've also just been hearing this In emails or in conversation with folk But the fact that we do this five days a week Seems to have been coming up as a reason That people like it You know what I mean I feel like that's been mentioned They use the word constancy in this And I think that does kind of describe TBTL, it's constant It's constantly happening Constantly time to do TBTL It's constantly It's constantly building up in your podcatcher It's like The constancy of this show It's undeniable And again for some people it's actually the good part of it

Yeah I don't know that this show works Once a week You're not just dipping in I mean I think it has to be Kind of a river that's flowing At all times That you can dip in hopefully lots of times you fully submerge in there some days you let the stream go by but you can always dip back in hopefully that's the vibe because that's honestly that's why i listened to it before i got this chair and by the way yeah weird that you made me buy this chair before i could join the show but it was kind of a lost leader it's not even the great of a chair for

this it's like how are we gonna get a new chair for the show i know we'll do we'll let andrew be the co-host we'll let andrew be the longest running co-bro of the show but he's it's byoc You've got to bring your own chair. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, rattle.

We also want to thank our friend Farron Scheer. Hey, Farron. Down there in San Diego, California. It was two thons ago, right?

that we hung out with Farron and Lisa in Oceanside? What is time, Luke? I don't know. But a river of content floating down. Yeah, I think the Delica was two thons ago. Yeah, because Denver was last year, of course. Denver was last year, right. So, hey, Farron, how are you? Farron says, hi, friendos. As the 2022 thon rolled around, figuratively, unlike the 21 thon that rolled away while I was waving, only to melt down in the desert hours later. Well, there you go. There you go. There's the answer. I should really pre-read these. Anyway, around that time, I was perusing donor gifts. Last year, an opportunity in my work life was presenting itself to me, buying the salon where I have worked since you two were in, I'm guessing, middle school. Wow, Farron, that's amazing news. I remember chatting about the salon with Farron in Lisa's parking lot in Oceanside, but I don't think there was anything in the offing about buying it at that time. I just decided to blow my advertising budget here, hoping to attract some tens to my sweet salon with an ocean view in Ocean Beach, despite you seeing me in Oceanside. Okay, so everyone focus now. It's got an ocean view. It's got an ocean view. Okay, Farron's Salon. Farron, longtime loyal supporter of TBTL and friend to tens worldwide, is now the owner of this salon in Ocean Beach, California. It has a view of the ocean. And Ferent says I am now ready for new co-workers And clients We are an Aveda salon Okay We offer naturally derived Vegan hair color and products And have a beautiful calming space Who wouldn't want to work And or Have your hair care needs addressed there Andrew I feel calm just thinking about it Yeah If this sounds like a place you would like to be Hit me up on Twitter, Insta, Slack. It's Farron 800. That's the number, 800, 800. And Farron is F-A-R-R-E-N. Farron 800 in all the places. Also, if you're someone who knows how to write off a monthly donation as advertising, please get in touch. Thank you for the last 13 years of both quality and questionable content. Love you. Okay. Okay, so if you're looking to get your hair did by somebody who's both awesome at it and also a TBTL fan, go hit up Farron 800. If you get south of, like, Sacramento, I think that you must go to Farron's salon. Those are the rules. I thought Farron was going to say thank you for the last 13 years of both quality and quantity. Because we were talking about the constancy of the show. No, Farron was saying questionable content. Yeah, it's the wrong Q word. You wanted quality and quantity, but it's quality and questionable. Every time I think, I know what they're going to say. Anyway, thanks to our donors, our dazzling donors today for keeping the show going. We would not be here without you.

Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right, Andrew. I was in the Fred Meyer here in Portland yesterday, and I was grabbing a few things, including some cleaning supplies. and i realized you know what i really need to go to town on my shower like on the the tub and tile in my shower i want to really get it i'll sometimes clean it and just please don't judge me because like i know this is your area of of deep expertise but i don't i haven't historically necessarily used a dedicated product for that i'll just use like a regular like a household cleaner i'll use some hot water and soap i'll get in there with some you know what's a house like a mrs meyers or something like a spray but not something that says tub and tile on it um and i get an okay result i'm you know i'm i wouldn't say i wouldn't say it's my proudest thing my level of like shower um you know scrubbing or something i haven't used scrubbing bubbles but anyway i'm buying some stuff and uh and and i think oh yeah i gotta i gotta i gotta go to town on the and i might as well buy something that's actually dedicated to the the job and so i grab myself because i do tend to buy uh mrs meyer's like you know sprays for countertops and things in my apartment it's just kind of my go-to and i love that stuff it seems to work well for me and i grab a bottle of mrs meyer's clean day tub and tile And Andrew It's actually tub and tile this time It's tub and tile This is tub, not just tub Not just tile Tub and tile And this smell is listed as lemon verbena And I'm spraying it in the tub And on the tile last night And I'm starting to feel Like Slightly nauseated And I'm thinking, did bubbles go to the bathroom like behind the

shower like i'm smelling something that's so foul so malodorous that it's like it's got to be something in this bathroom that i haven't noticed and then i realized no the smell is coming from inside the bottle this stuff smells so bad it smells like bad breath it smells like distilled bad breath and of course because i had like also just bought it and it was probably like eight bucks i was like it's like that old joke the soup is terrible and the portions are too small I was like, this thing smells terrible, and I'm running out of it pretty fast as I'm spraying it everywhere because I'm going to still try to get my money's worth for it. But it reeks. Have you ever used this particular product? I know they have a lemon verbena spray for countertops. Have you ever used their tub and tile?

No. That's why I find this fascinating, but I unfortunately have nothing to add because I have no experience here. Because let me ask you this. Have you used all the various lemon verbena or verbena? Yes. I never noticed. You've used that in other forms, right? Because I've used it as dish soap. I've used it as a counter cleaner. And it's fine. It's great. Yeah, it's fine. It's lemony.

I've never encountered – you know what I do? I buy the Christmas smells of Mrs. Meyers. That's what a Becky Homecky I am. I've never encountered a Mrs. Meyers smell that I – I mean I like some more than others. I've never encountered one that I was like, whoa. I don't know if it's because this is tub and tile and so it has something more acidic in it. It says removes soap scum and hard water stains. Warning, I irritant And I feel like What this is Is trying to Play with the big boys It's trying to run with the big dogs It needs to stay on the porch, Andrew Because the big dogs to me are like scrubbing bubbles And Clorox and all of these like Nightmare Like deeply chemically things That also really get the grout clean

Yeah, like I use Tylex Because it's like bleach based And like it's gonna, if you have any kind even a little bit of buildup of um not just soap scum but like the mildew that will sometimes creep in around corners or something and hopefully you're getting in there before that but we're all human beings like i i take that stuff and i spray it all around and i just let it sit for a while that i sit with it and you let the bleach do it's the bleach and whatever god awful chemicals are in there i let them do their work i don't mess around with that but you're right mrs meyers they don't they want to be able to you know compete in that space but they're not going to be using like the really toxic stuff so what are they putting in here well i'm reading it here it's

got uh this has got water well that's your problem yeah you got water in this thing that's a big

advertising campaign for a lot of those uh um laundry detergents now is it they don't have any water in them or they know that it's kind of like your big jug of of detergent it's mostly water so buy our smaller jug of more concentrated detergent but really luke and we can get into this in a second i was reluctant at first but i am all in on the laundry sheet game now no plastics involved they look like dryer sheets only they're a little bit thicker and and kind of squishy and you throw them in there and they dissolve and turn into soap and you don't have to buy those big plastic

bottles that are floating out in the ocean oh that's i'm i'm i'm listening yeah um let me I'll just read through this. Lactic acid. Now, that's weird to me. Lactic acid is the thing that builds up in your muscles when you're sore after a workout. When I used to play sports, our coaches would always be yelling at us at the beginning of practice, get that lactic acid out. I don't know what that's doing in this spring. I'm looking it up.

I'm on cleaningwithlove.com. Lactic acid for cleaning. I'll see if I can get back to you with some info.

It's also got something called a decyl glucoside. It's got something called a loramine oxide. It's got something just called fragrance. Yeah. Hey, Mrs. Myers, folks. Maybe let's look up that word fragrance and let's really reexamine how we generally think of fragrance because this thing reeks. Citrus lemon peel oil. That sounds fine. fir leaf oil uh lemongrass uh and uh lemongrass oil rather laurel glucoside and then it contains

fragrance allergens i don't know what that means i mean it's interesting because no i'm trying to get into like first of all i'm trying to figure out where it comes from if not because i don't think they're farming humans i don't want to um impugn mrs meyers no no and are we still doing Grove ads? Actually, we're not. It kind of breaks my heart. I'm still using Grove, and I talk about Grove all the time on Spotless Podcast. But anyway, it looks like maybe this lactic acid, if I'm looking at this correctly, which I might not be, might come from plants. But I'm also now trying to figure out, like, does anybody have anything about lactic acid smelling bad?

Are they harvesting lactic acid from the calves of nitrogen?

ninth grade soccer players oh luke i had a lot of it in ninth grade i was always very sore particularly like the first couple weeks of practice when you're working out real hard and

now here's what i'm gonna do andrew no luke stop i just typed in lactic acid smell and i need to read for you this is one of those results where it it pull i just typed that into google lactic lactic acid smell and you know how sometimes it'll like not just give you links but it'll kind of pull a paragraph or a sentence that you you know highlights exactly what you're looking for according to editorialist lactic acid smells like unpleasant slightly fermented sweat okay

okay okay am i your guy behind the computer or what i mean thank you that was very very satisfying because i was like what is this why does this smell this way and again i i i sort of framed it as sort of maybe bad breath but just any kind of bad bodily you know kind of malodorous whatever is what this thing has going on i don't the lactic acid must serve some purpose

but look it's the second ingredient after water i want to get into some reviews here i want to get into some reviews and see if other people i i'm not there yet but i'm opening hold on i'm gonna

do this i'm opening the bottle okay oh not around me to make sure i wasn't just high last night

you know weirdly it smells less bad oh so you were high last night weird that you would

you would set yourself up like that no it's like it's strange because as i'm just smelling it from the bottle it doesn't smell good but it doesn't smell as bad as it did and i think what it has to do with is when you spray it it sort of it doesn't fully aerosol it but it turns it into like a foam you know what i mean like it's got a it's got your your standard kind of you know spray bottle head like any mrs meyers product would that was a you know a spray right and when you do that it it goes from being strictly a liquid which i just smelled the liquid form and it kind of turns it into a foam and i wonder if there's something about that hitting the air or

Or the or an actual chemical reaction to it, you know, hitting maybe whatever it whatever it's cleaning in the tub. You know, like I say, if you have a little if you have a little buildup, maybe the cleaning process releases.

It's possible some kind of like, you know, macro whatever you'd call that, not macrobiotic, but like it's like basically like the you know, they say that in like if you smell a lot of chlorine in a swimming pool, it means that there's been a lot of urination in it because that's when the chlorine is doing its job. When it's interacting with like urine and neutralizing it, that's when it's releasing that smell.

Most people, by the way, in the reviews say that they love the smell of this stuff, but it's usually accompanied by saying how much they hate the smell of the chemical stuff that like I use. Like when I get done cleaning a bathroom, it smells like bleach and basically a Dow chemical factory.

When I was in L.A. and I was at the hotel where I practically locked myself out in my skivvies, I had gone on a little jog one morning and it was sort of the perfect crime because it was before TBTL. I went out and the room was unmade. And when I came back, they had totally made the room up. So then I could do the show with you and the room was just ready to go for the rest of the day. and the bathroom smelled so much like bleach but in a good way and it was just like i just wanted to hang out in the bathroom and smell that bleach smell because what that told me was this place is clean it doesn't have anybody else's you know funk in it i mean even though the funk would have been mine because i'd already been staying there for a night but i we've talked about this many times on the show i and apologies to mother earth but like i just really like that kind of like for someone saying i don't like the smell of clorox it's like i can't identify with that person because that to me says this has been sanitized yeah i mean i think that's

you know somewhat generational and how we grew up and what we associate scent with and like i'm i grew up in a family doesn't sound like your your parents and i hope this is not taken the wrong way but it doesn't sound like they were obsessed with uh cleanliness and chores the way my parents were like i know that i'm the reason that i and i kind of like cleaning now i want to make it clear like i don't feel like i'm trapped inside of a endless cycle of cleaning that i can't get out of it's a way of calming me down like i kind of like cleaning i love a good clean bathroom but it's because i grew up in a pretty stifling house where everything had to be dusted and cleaned every saturday top to bottom and everything was in its place and as we got older and we moved into a like a cul-de-sac-y kind of place and got some new furniture we weren't allowed to sit on one of the couches because it was the nice couch and i always think about that i'm just like why did we get a couch we weren't allowed to sit on but um anyway so it's funny you say that because i about like how sort of obsessed with cleanliness was my family because i've never thought of it this way but i think it perfectly explains what my general cleanliness is which is tidy but not super clean and that would also describe the childhood home i grew up in like you luckily it was like not the kind of house where you would ever where you'd ever walk in and there would just be like the house was never a mess yeah things were tidy but no one was like taking everything out like you do with your bathroom cleaning it top to bottom put everything putting everything back in and i still don't have that instinct and i kind of wish i did a little bit more like if you were to come into my apartment you would look around you'd be like oh yeah you know for like a guy living here i mean i don't want to gender it but like you would be like this place is actually pretty clean but if you were to go down to the like shower tile level you might go this could this should be hit more than once every six months um and that totally reflects the kind

a home i grew up in so that would i would explain that yeah so anyway us having that reaction like to chemical smells i think like other family well you know like let's say um my my friend and podcast partner hannah on the cleaning podcast like she grew up in a home that was much more kind of hippy dippy right like her mom who often will call into the show was like very into incense and like you know like what was not obsessed with cleaning and is actually appalled by hearing about my my stories of growing up in a household where cleanliness was so forefront and so you know like i don't think to hannah like the smell of chlorine or what have you or bleach is going to hit the same way that it hits us because she grew up in a different kind of household yeah absolutely um i

would just say to mrs meyers maybe let the big dogs do this like you know what i mean maybe like leave it to i mean i guess you're saying that the online reviews are the online reviews are

are mostly positive and a lot of people are saying love the smell so glad not to have that chemical smell and so again i think people's noses are just different and what like their expectation and what clean smells like i mean that's something right there you know we have to record two spotlesses tomorrow because i'm scheduling things i don't know what we're going to talk about maybe that just like how clean smells different to different people why don't

you go buy yourself a bottle of mrs meyer's clean day tub and tile and just spray it around and see

what happens no i don't think i'm going to do that i don't think i'm going to do that this has

not a full bottle that you can borrow an almost full bottle oh sure you don't give me your you

don't give me your japanese bowl but i got a half a bottle of stinky ass cleaner i use my japanese

bowl last night it really came in handy um i've been out of town for a while and so i made the mistake of not running my dishwasher before i left town and that was only because there weren't enough dishes in there i want to just point out that was a environmental choice i don't like to run the dishwasher for like three or four things but living here alone mostly uh you know it takes me a few days to fill it up anyway i don't know why i needed to explain that i just wanted to let people know after i've already admitted to not washing my shower tiles enough i don't people think i also am like bad about dishes but i got i ordered some thai food picked up some thai food last night and i realized that i had gotten a um larb guy which is this really yummy salad and i got like larb guy with tofu also i would say this place that i get it from and i love them here in portland i mean really it's a really yummy place it's around the corner but they said okay larp guy mild or medium and i was like well medium please you know like for spice it was really spicy and i was like we might need to talk about medium yeah was there a mild medium about fragrance was there no hot was there there was no hot mild or medium what does that mean well i'm gonna go medium then i know what is it medium of what is it the middle of yeah that's it was who it was it was it was spicy and um i was reminded of that this morning and i'll let people just fill in those details for themselves but anyway um uh but i so i got this stuff and then i was like look i needed it's it was it's like sort of too much stuff this it's a salad with like large pieces of like you know the kind of lettuce i guess is it romaine like the lettuce that you'd have in a in a caesar salad you have to cut what kind of lettuce is that a caesar salad is it very green and big leaves you well you know you know the kind of lettuce that's like it's like two or three big sections of lettuce that you put like a fancy caesar salad will often or like they grill it

sometimes like grilled romaine okay i feel like you're talking about romaine i don't do caesar salads but i'm guessing it's romaine that's what we usually eat i think it's romaine it's probably

it's kind of the only lettuce that i know to be grilled like that it's probably romaine oh yeah

i'm looking at caesar salads yeah that's romaine for sure so this salad is like big pieces of

romaine and then a bunch of like onions and stuff and then these like tofu chunks it's very yummy again too spicy but whatever great oh so good dude but it was too much i couldn't fit it in like a standard bowl that you'd have like cereal in or whatever and i was looking around and i have like i like live like such a sad this is such a bad bachelor arms apartment i'm so millhouse's dad i have like two bowls and if one of them's being washed i'm in trouble but um and so i was like oh my gosh what am i gonna do i don't have a bowl that's large enough for this because that bowl's in the dishwasher right now sure enough my hasami porcelain whatever it is something or other bowl overly expensive bowl i was like this is perfect i rinsed it out i almost took a picture of this andrew and sent it to you last night but i was like he doesn't need this on his thursday night he's got a life to live but i literally thought of taking a picture of this food in this bowl and going look i'm using my bowl well i appreciate

that i know exactly the conundrum you're talking about i use um you probably don't have this if you're not you know cooking a lot but we have like big plastic like mixing bowls right that kind of nesting mixing bowls we have the nice pyrex kind but like for if i bring home pho i'll just put it one of the plastic ones like one of the plastic colorful you know like it's that's what i do i'm a little surprised though i mean this is a deck are you i mean supposed to it's yours you can supposed to do anything you want with it but is it really a food bowl though or more i don't know it is now it is now exactly i don't really know i just need a bowl

but you know the other thing is it's exactly like i told you that addy got me a coffee cup from the same company um and i really love it because it has a lid and it's got this really interesting kind of very grippy feel to it and and it's got this lid that goes on it and this is the exact this bowl is is made from the same materials as a small coffee or regular size coffee cup i had and so my thought was well i don't know i drink coffee out of the cup yeah i could eat it's not a lot of out of the bowl yeah sure why not um so npr has announced that they are well they they're projecting a 30 million dollar decline in revenue and um as part of and i don't know if you heard about the um there's been some layoffs at npr um and this is sort of i guess continuing with their attempts to stay ahead of potential financial problems um they are they're they're not canceling but they're not going to renew the seasons of four of their podcasts in other words they're going to let these shows finish out their run but they're not going to bring them back and those shows are invisibilia um rough translation louder than a riot and everyone and their mom which was um everyone and their mom was a kind of a wait wait spinoff where uh i believe the host was named emma choy and she would interview well she would kind of do a show and then she'd also interview someone who i think had been on the wait on wait wait that week they never asked me andrew which um would they do panelists or guests panelists typically was my was my uh my sense of it but um i the uh the ceo of npr said if they did not and it's not just these shows but just if npr weren't doing all of this uh you know basically laying people off and and trying to reduce their cost the ceo said that npr would run out of money by 2025 which is a weird way to frame it i'm also like didn't joan crock give us 200 million dollars when i was there i mean it's an expensive place to run but yeah it really i did think that that

all went into like investments that could then continue to reap more money i thought that's how you handle it but again i don't know anything an endowment yeah like exactly that's the word i'm looking for but i don't know how that stuff works i mean it is shocking like i it's just like i look at all the big tech companies and their huge layoffs and i have like kind of uneducated opinions about like kind of how they probably run their businesses so that they can just like hire like crazy and then just they have these massive layoffs like i trust a organization like npr and i was just like reading this yesterday just saying like how do you go from just like you know zooming along to suddenly saying and a quote in this piece by david folken flick was something like it was a quote from a somebody at npr saying like this is an existential crisis here like we are fighting for survival which i'm you know i believe and i understand that like the pandemic had a huge impact that nobody could foresee on all kinds of things but it's just like it is shocking just to see suddenly saying like oh we're npr we're fighting for our survival and laying off you know hundreds of people or what is it up to is it going to be a hundred people all told i think

I think it's already been 100 people, and I think this adds to it. I'm reading Paul Farhi's piece in The Washington Post. It's funny because I don't know if I just think Paul Farhi is an amazing reporter or if it's just because he writes about public radio a fair amount. But whenever I see his byline in The Post, I'm like, okay, I'm going to read what Paul has to say. He said the NPR began laying off about 100 employees or 10% of its staff this week among the largest reductions in its 53-year history. Managers have set aside three days this week to notify those affected.

across a number of departments by the way i want to clarify something when i said they're not canceling them they are stopping production i don't think these shows are even getting to do any more shows for now but in stopping production they have stuff it says that they could theoretically bring the shows back at a different time if there were the finances for it but i you know that would be surprising to me but but um i who knows i haven't worked at that place in many many years so i don't really know what goes on there but um i doesn't if you're listening to one of the shows i mentioned it i don't want to get your hopes up that you're going to get to hear the the end of the season it sounds like these shows are not going to be producing any more new episodes and it's to me it's just such an interesting i mean first of all it's a super bummer for the folks involved and you know i've been laid off from a public radio job or two in my time and it's a really sucky feeling but it's it's a it's interesting thing because npr what npr does really well i think is and even though you and i sort of grouse about like you know i feel like npr like particularly morning edition and all things considered have gotten so serious

why so serious oh that's a phrase for you why so serious how would you how would you like kind of write it out like any kind of like i don't know would you just like probably neat handwriting like an engineer's handwriting or an architect super careful script you know maybe calligraphy

i like calligraphy why so serious why thou so serious um but no like i i know that i kind of a little bit about about the way that those shows sound to me versus like the the bad old days of the like early 90s when it was just like a bunch of like it felt to me like it was a bunch of like cowboy veterinarians talking for three minutes about birthing a foal or something and now it's just like on the ground in mariupol like every second you know it feels like the network has really shifted into a very hard news approach that being said i listen to morning edition every morning i listen to all things considered pretty much every afternoon i'm a power user of public radio and what npr is really good at is making those shows and what they've tried to do is because they're looking at the landscape and they're noticing that fewer people are listening to radio, is put all this money and emphasis on trying to build their digital thing and it doesn't seem like, and there are some exceptions, this Paul Farhi piece notes that Up First is really popular, that's the news program in the morning on NPR and, you know, there are some other programs, and they mention Fresh Air, although I was like, Paul, Paul, my brother in Christ, Fresh Air is a WHYY production. Now, I don't know, I mean, it's distributed by NPR, But I think of Fresh Air as, I mean, it started out at WHYY in Philadelphia, so I don't know if NPR can claim total credit for that. But anyway, there are some exceptions. NPR certainly has some podcasts that are popular. But broadly speaking, it seems like they're having a hard time figuring out how to evolve when fewer people are listening to the radio. And like the pandemic interrupted everybody's commute, so it really changed a lot of that morning and afternoon listening patterns. npr's best thing their core thing is making those radio shows particularly morning edition all things considered and they don't but radio is getting smaller so like what are they going to do we'll make digital stuff well that's maybe not all of it's not working as well as they might hope and it's kind of it does seem like they're facing some sort of like you said existential crisis which i mean i don't listen i'm already mourning possibly losing tiktok if i lose npr i've got

nothing i mean to what you're saying it's just worth noting because i can't even i don't even want to go so far as what you're saying is to theorize because i don't understand the business but um it's interesting that one of the surviving podcasts the up first which i like is basically the morning edition model it's like a short it's like a very bite-sized version of morning edition with the morning edition hosts so that kind of that kind of goes into that too like what does if they're asking themselves like what does npr do best and what do we need like if we're stripping it down to what is the absolute necessary kind of program programming that is both our strength and what we need for our survival it's going to be that both it looks like on the digital side and on the broadcast side but they've also got this complicated

relationship with their stations because and i'm sure our listeners because we talk about public radio so much on this show are probably savvy about this but like the basic deal is if you happen to listen to public radio on a radio station in your town npr it does not have any sort of like um inalienable right to be on that station that station could just play um mandolin music 24 hours a day if it wanted to if they could figure out how to make that work from a financial standpoint npr only gets to be on those stations because the local affiliates agree We'll be right back.

to play Morning Edition and all things. And then they pay a bunch of money back to NPR because those shows are popular. It attracts more folks to the station. But there is this long-term... There's a sort of... Like something out of the Book of Revelations. There's like an apocalyptic storm coming at some point between the actual physical radio station with the antenna in your town. That's a public radio station. And National Public Radio because National Public Radio eventually just wants you to turn your phone on and listen to them. And that cuts your local station out of the mix. And so and with the local station is what is paying for NPR to exist through carriage fees through the money they pay to get those shows. So it's like the whole thing has a lot of complexity to it and a lot of different entities that have very sort of diametrically opposed interest really long term.

Yeah. And, you know, it's such a I don't know how many people have already received the news, but we have friends who work at NPR and I've been thinking a lot about them because it's that feeling of of waiting around to like to, you know, the time between the announcement that we're going to be laying off a big chunk of the workforce and the announcements of who is laid off or at least the conversations about who's laid off happen later. Like that is just I have not lived through that particular type of anxiety before a little bit with Genevieve's job when we first decided to kind of pull out of New Hampshire and move out here to Seattle. We were moving out here. I didn't have a job locked up here in Seattle, and we were doing it because we wanted to. Well, it seemed like a good adventure, but Genevieve took a job out here that was a Microsoft related job. She didn't work for Microsoft, but a company where they were the main client. And I was still in New Hampshire waiting to move out. Veeves was out here kind of having a miserable time of it all. And there were these huge layoffs being announced at Microsoft. And so, again, she wouldn't necessarily be laid off from Microsoft, but it would definitely impact her own position. And, like, that's as close as I've come to that. And I was removed by a bit. And that is such a terrible feeling. So I feel bad for everybody. I mean, these are our people, right? like just who's just like waiting around to find out what's next yeah it's um it's funny because

i've been laid off twice from radio jobs and both times i was unfazed but it's because i think both times i was like in my 20s or like early 30s and to use my analogy that i use all the time now the airplane journey of my life was still on its way to cruising altitude like the wi-fi hadn't kicked in yet they still had the fastened seatbelt light illuminated so like even when we got fired from Cairo doing this show I was like I was very unfazed by it because I kind of thought I don't know do something else or maybe we'll keep doing tbtl or whatever but like I think if I were to get I'm trying to think no I think I would still be like whatever I have a very bizarre relationship with I have a bizarre relationship with that idea you're talking about like operating under that cloud when i don't say that to take away at all from the people at uh npr who are operating in that cloud we have lots of folks that work in tech right now if you work at amazon or microsoft or a number of other huge places where that's you know they're scaling back a lot of that like i don't want to minimize that feeling i think it's odd i think there have been times where i should have been more afraid of that stuff and i wasn't i guess what i was wondering is would i be more afraid of it now because the you know i feel like i'm about to begin my initial descent on this airplane journey of my life and would I be more bummed because I'd be like like I don't think anyone I'm gonna go out and get another job super easily at this point at my age and whatever but then part of me also just thinks man also would I be relieved to have no jobs or would I be terrified to have no jobs I guess I think I would probably be I'd be relieved for one day and

then I would be terrified day two yeah you definitely have a confidence level um that I admire or if not admire and am envious of i my my life and this is a real problem and this goes beyond this goes beyond work but like and you know i'll just say i i blame my parents for this if we're gonna get real what is it everybody that's the theme of today's episode doesn't everybody say like all those t-shirts or whatever like bro stop podcasting and get a therapist like I realized that I really know about that but yeah there's that's a whole thing of course we pick a theme this week and his parents right but no I mean I don't know if I really blame them or not I said that kind of joking but like they're my entire life I feel like this decision could make or break everything I I don't think that totally consciously but I was thinking about it the other day as i was working on this project and i was just like you know things are going to be okay things have worked out for me like i have not fallen hard in my life like well fell I broke my finger a couple of summers ago but even in even in that case like that was the first time I've broken anything in my life when I was 44 45 years old you know like in my life I've never been fired I haven't I haven't had I've always been ready or at least emotionally bracing myself for the worst case scenario and so far it has not happened but I think that goes all the way back to and again I don't know if it's if the culture or my parents but I feel like i really took it and embodied this idea that like well if you get bad grades here then you won't get into a school and if you don't get into a school then you won't be able to get a good job and if you don't get a good job then you're going to rack up credit card debt and if you're going to wrap up you know what i mean you're going to find yourself in debtor's jail and in this case jail is spelled g-a-o-l for some reason it's going to be very confusing everybody right you see you see how i

spin out of control if i come by to whip your feet i'm going to do it gently i'm going to make it look like i'm doing it really hard so that you know yeah whatever you get your punishment but i'm

gonna do it pretty easy but yeah it ends up with me just like um crying in the shower saying why do they spell it like that i mean that's how quickly i can spin out of control but you know

what i mean i don't want to like i don't want to reinforce this way of thinking for you but it there is also the question of like have you never fallen hard because you've worked really hard because of your concern that every decision could be make or break you always and i know this just knowing you you and we've worked together now for so long you always over deliver on everything probably because you're always worried that it could be you know to under deliver could be the thing that undoes your whole like life therefore you always over deliver and i know this about you at every job like at cairo and and you know new hamster public radio and everywhere you've worked so there is the argument that even though this is slowly killing you it's also the reason that you've never fallen super hard and even me like i think even though i'm kind of like i don't have a healthy enough fear of being jobless although i do i do think that's increasing because i feel like i'm pretty used up now i feel like people are kind of onto my bullshit so like if i can ride these jobs out for as long as i can cool but i don't see people lining up for old 50 year old luke burbank to come host their hot new morning show but but that being said i think also even though i'm kind of like i i generally have felt like it's going to be fine on some level i must not because why am i doing three jobs all the time why am i constantly stacking the cordwood of jobs and uh you know taking on gigs you know to stash an extra thousand dollars or whatever like why am i doing that if i truly was like whatever's i wouldn't be doing that i'm doing that because of some deep-seated fear that everything could go away at any moment. So I guess I would just say both of our fears, even though they manifest slightly differently, have led us right here to this point where our entire career rests on people voluntarily giving us money. It's a great business model. Actually, you know what? All joking aside, I read this story about what's going on at NPR, and I thought, man, this is what TBTL is doing, What we've been so fortunate to get to do For a long time and again this is all because of The listeners and the donors It's a pretty radical approach to this Podcasting and it's a weirdly Durable business model like We've outlapped and I don't say this with any Criticism of these folks but like TBTL has now outlasted invisibilia Yeah I mean I've been thinking About the model a lot

I mean what we're doing is You know I swing wildly Back and forth about how i see where we fit into the media landscape because in so many ways we are dinosaurs like people will you know sometimes ask for advice on like equipment to get for podcasting and i say scary with tiny arms and i say like listen like i honestly can't advise you on that because i'm not using good podcasting equipment i am using radio equipment and then i that i then somehow get the computers to listen to like in in so and our audience is not as big as probably the audiences of of these shows that are being any of those shows that were recently discontinued had more listeners than us i promise significantly like significantly and it's interesting because you know we talk a little bit about how like the our show right now kind of has um has like these ads that are kind of that they seem more random to our listeners because we're not voicing them and they're popped in and we always call them the carvana ads or whatever and like that is not as you always say like that is not what is paying the bills for tbtl that sort of has to do with just like the arrangement with with american public media and that's fine but like the reason we exist as a show is 100 because people donate and there's something about the fact that like we're not paywall in this you know like it is literally the most old fashion am i pitching sorry i might be pitching i've just been thinking about this a lot lately

there's a tv telethon just around the corner but i can't read stories earlier it's constantly

about to be the tv telethon i just can't read stories like this without thinking about that and not to center myself in every story but it really is and maybe i can send it to listeners here because like it is so old-fashioned what we are doing we are doing a radio show we're putting it out as a podcast but we're doing a dang radio show and we're doing it's like the world's oldest profession asking for money on a public radio pledge drive i thought you had a new business

model for us involving the world's oldest profession i don't know talk to me in july but

um anyway so yeah so i i do it makes me really really appreciate our listeners and while it sort of seems so antiquated what we're doing it's like but this is what works like we create something that is not for everybody but it's for some people and there's constancy there to go back to what you were saying before and those people who realize like oh this is a weird thing it's not going to be supported by the mainstream so we're going to support it because we want it to be there and i do that for things and the fact that we are literally talking to these microphones

today because of that is special um on the subject of podcasts that well i frankly i don't know the business model at pushkin which is i think the network that was started by malcolm gladwell and some other folks but um they have a show out that's hosted by dana goodyear who i believe was a writer is a writer for the new yorker um uh called lost hills and if you are a person who got really into if you just like those kind of prestige true crime podcasts the likes of cereal and such would recommend lost hills season two it's basically about this family in the i think 80s living in malibu who go sailing over to santa cruz island in the channel islands and um two people die and the fallout from that and who may have done it etc it's just it's it's really scratching an itch for me because what we have now is so many true crime podcasts and so many of them remember that one that we were like talking about where the person who was like hosting the podcast had clearly just gone and taken someone else's podcast and then just like rewritten it or something crazy and then he was getting he was getting blown up for that

newspaper he took a newspaper article and just turned into a podcast i think right i was just

read like just reading large sections verbatim there was like no original reporting i mean that's the world um to get back to the the new media landscape there are so many because shows like serial have been a hit and because there's that like my favorite murderer show and stuff there's so many true crime podcasts that have popped up because they're popular and so many of them have to my mind such low production value um this is not that this is like got really compelling tape this is well written well reported so if you are somebody who likes that kind of stuff uh would recommend the lost hills podcast season two but only listen to it after you've eaten your tbtl okay it's like a dessert you can't have it i want to see all that tbtl cleaned off of your plate don't just push it over to the side don't hide it behind the other stuff you need to Eat your TBTL.

No. TBTL is the dessert.

All right. It is the moment that we have all been waiting for since 58 minutes ago when you said, Andrew, that today's music for your weekend is going to be, from you, the greatest song ever. Is it the greatest song ever written or the greatest song ever written and recorded?

I think I said written, but I meant written, recorded, produced. Produced. Best song you will ever hear. The thing is, I am guessing that possibly you, but, I mean, definitely people in our audience who follow pop music probably already know about this song and this musician. I don't even know how to say their name. I think it's Coy LeRae, a rapper named Coy LeRae. Does that ring a bell to you, Luke? Nope. And I got in the car the other day, and you know me. I'm listening to either Kixi Radio, music as cool now as it was then, or I'm listening to, like, literally AM 1000, just, like, local news, like, right out of the show News Radio. These are the things that I listen to when I get in the car When Genevieve's driving Have you heard of the FM dial, Luke? Did you know that that's a thing? I listen to AM, but there's a whole other thing It's called FM AM, but they can play the F word? I think so I don't know if they can say the It sounds better It doesn't sound like it's broadcasting through a tin can And they play a lot of music on the FM dial And I turn on the car the other day I heard about that on the FM radio Genevieve must have been listening to like Move in 92 or one of our like kind of pop stations here in Seattle. And I turn on the car and this song called Players is playing by Coy LeRae. I had to shazam it immediately. You're going to instantly recognize a bunch of the samples, including that famous, you know, Grandmaster Flash song. Is it the message? I think it's the message. Do, do, do, do, do. Anyway, I won't sing it. I will let Coil Array take over. If there's language in here, I'll clean it up afterwards, Luke. Don't you worry about that. Okay, I won't. I'm going to play so much of this, we're going to get pulled. I don't care.

Yeah, cause girls is players too. Uh, yeah, yeah, cause girls is players too.

Keep it playing, baby.

Cause girls is players too. Did you get money all around the world Cause girls is players too

What you know about living on the top Penthouse streets looking down on the Ops Took her for a test drive, left him on the lot Time is money so I spent it on the watch Hold on, Lil T showing through the white teeth You can see the thong busting on my tight jeans Rocks on my fingers like a working wife me Got another shorty, she ain't nothing like me Yeah, about to catch another fight Yeah, the app about to make him want to bite Yeah, I just want to have a good night I just want to have a good night Hold up If you don't know, now you know If you broke, then you better let him go You could have anybody, any money, mo Because when you were boss, you could do what you want

Okay, there are some adult themes in this I totally know this song. It's huge on TikTok. Is it? It is so good. Oh, yeah. The About to Catch Another Flight Apple Jeans Won a Bite. All of that has been meme-ified extensively. I didn't know who was the singer. I didn't know the first, like, you know, 25 seconds. But yeah, no, that song is huge. That song is great. it's the best song ever made why wouldn't i mean it certainly involves elements of so many of the

greatest songs of all time right i mean but the lyrics are good too they're good clever lyrics i

love it they are but even the lyrics i mean apple bottom jeans want to bite i mean apple bottom jeans with the boots with the fur it's so it's such an amazing reference to so many things sonically and

even lyrically i mean it's catchy af yeah good song coil array if i'm saying that right which i might not be if anybody knows more about that hit me up um all right i want to play a little song

for you that somebody dm'd me on uh instagram lauren who i assume is a listener because lauren knows andrew that the music free weekend that i want to play for you involves a couple of my favorite things the music of the pixies and also a long-running beloved tbtl audio drop so take a listen to this this is a song that i'm calling where is my dream

that's the song that's the whole thing that's good that's the entire song i think

it's by somebody on uh instagram their handle is like uh there i ruined it you know what would

that would be perfect for a um an alarm clock sound on your phone if you need to wake up because

it's kind of inspirational you're right because i actually it's been in my head like earworm style i'm gonna play it one more time and i don't i'm not afraid of getting pulled by spotify because I think this is something that we can safely play. One more time. That's good. I've just been walking around singing Do you ever have a dream to the tune of Where's My Mind? So there you go. that's my music for your weekend and our listener suggestion comes from listener mike says hey friendos i'd like to recommend the song shabby by the artist pool blood i know that name sounds like a death metal band but they are actually a very chill indie rock bedroom pop act the first day of spring was this week and for some reason pool blood gives me strong springtime vibes cheers and power out I was immediately intrigued when listener Mike knew that I wouldn't like a band called Pool Blood unless listener Mike explained that it's not a death metal band so good that was really a well constructed email Mike because you got me to keep reading and then listening so that's how we're going to wrap things up this week Shabby by Pool Blood thanks for listening everybody we will be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio until then have a great weekend take care of yourselves And please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all.

Thank you.

I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away. Power out.