Muse

I'm gross now. I've been talking through burps. I never used to do this. When I was a kid and I wanted to burp, I'd be like, Silence! Blah! Now I'm trying to, like, push them down and muscle through them. I'll be at dinner just doing the bread and the seltzer, filling up like a hot air balloon. And then I'm like,

Did you say that you were going to Italy? We have a travel agent. She has a travel agent. I'm going to the kitchen. Does anyone need anything?

Does anyone need anything? Just take a pause, John. TBTL.

Is what we experience real or is reality a computer simulation constructed by an advanced alien race? For more, our sports reporter, Jim Caputo.

Oh, won't somebody please think of the children? When I eat Hot Cheetos, I get crazy. I just love Hot Cheetos! I love you so much!

Remember that time you left a comment underneath that YouTube video when someone replied and called you a dumbass, so you replied and told them it takes one to know one, and then you stayed up all night hitting refresh on your browser, waiting for them to reply, and then you fell asleep crying?

I remember it differently.

This is like that.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone. to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

They've never touched anything in their lives. Let them touch those things for once.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Cannibal. Cannibal coming.

Coming to you from the offices of Walsh, Walsh and Dormat on a just absolutely splendid Wednesday in Seattle, Washington.

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

Sun is shining. It's warm. It's just an amazing day to bring you episode 3911 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We know that Howard Schultz, the, you know, I've actually been misstating this on the show. I've often said the founder of Starbucks, he's not the founder of Starbucks. He's like the Elon Musk of coffee in that Elon Musk was also not the founder of Tesla. Anyway, Howard Schultz, the person we know from Starbucks and ruining all Seattle people's basketball dreams, has done something that now makes me dislike him even more.

This song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world.

You gotta get up pretty early to make me dislike Howard Schultz more. We will talk about it. Also, if I'm being totally honest, we're probably going to talk about the cats here in this house.

A cat is an angel that poops in a box.

Bingo. The professor. I mean, we're essentially in a cat condo right now And I love every second of it Oh, and I learned something last night about myself At a bar in Redmond, Washington Called Palmer's East I wish I hadn't done that Learned a thing I should never try to do again And I'll talk about that coming up Plus, oh, we're going to talk to this guy The longest running co-bro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of The Tall Ships.

Damn. Fire it all. Back at it again with the white van.

He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. I'm across this table. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. I had an experiment I wanted to play with you today. A medical experiment? Sort of. Sort of.

I need you to lie down on this table. Count backwards from 20.

Well, it did involve your body, so I wanted to definitely give you...

I just want to let you know I'm unspanked today. I'm unspanked. So far. Well, you know, it's early still.

I'm unspankst, so just factor that in. Can I invite you into my spankatorium?

Is that what this room doubles as?

Let's cut all this out.

Can you make an edit note, please, on your little recorder? Look at these little things I have in my hand here.

It's nice to have you in person again. Oh, my gosh. These are little what?

I just saw out of the corner of my eye something iconic that made me think, are these lemon heads related?

Well, those are two little pieces of candy. They're rectangular in nature. They are lemon. They're not lemon heads, though, because they're some sort of Japanese candy that Genevieve brought home from a trip she took this weekend. Are they sweet?

Would you assume they're sweet based on the picture of a lemon puckering its own face?

Just angrily puckering its own face. Like, it can't even handle its own juice. Are we doing this? Feel free, yeah. Is this the one-chip challenge? Well, actually, I'll tell you, and the fact that you're into this makes me excited. So here's the deal, though. Yes, it's going to make you pucker. Yes, it's going to make you pucker.

A strong, well, that's the thing. Genevieve brought that home and said, I brought some candy home, or some friend gave it to her over the weekend in Canada.

I want candy.

So I'm like, okay, I'll put it in a candy jar. So then yesterday, what's wrong? You're making a weird face.

It's just, I'm surprised at the, this seems like the kind of thing that would just be kind of rigid, but maybe it's just an air bubble. It's a little bit soft, right?

Yeah, softer than I would have expected. So it's like a chewy thing. So I pop, I had no idea what it was the other day. I look at it more closely. I should clean my bathtub with this. It's got a lemon on it. Like, okay, this is going to be a lemon challenge thing. So I put it in my mouth and I start chewing it. And then I realize after a while, oh, this isn't candy. This is gum. I've been chewing it for about five minutes. Lemon gum? I've been chewing it for about five minutes and then the flavor went away. So I was like, oh, okay, well, I guess this is gum. And I spit it out. So then I say to Genevieve, hey, Genevieve, that candy, quote unquote candy you brought home, is actually gum. And she said, no, it's not. I had some. And I said, well, so did I. I just spit mine out. That's like the old David Letterman bit. Is it gum? Is that a real bit?

No.

Oh, I was going to say, because this is what we're about to do. Because I want you to eat that and tell me if it's candy or gum. Because we got into it yesterday. She said, it broke down after a while, and I ate it. It's candy. Do we have a drum roll anywhere? Here, I get some sound machines. But, I mean, it's got to be, what, like a five-minute drum roll, right?

Well, no, no. I just mean to sort of establish to the audience that I am actually putting this gum or candy,

be it gum or candy, into my mouth. People keep buying me sound machines, but none of them here. How about applause? Perfect. Here we go. Oh, first of all. Yeah. Okay. It's definitely gum. That's for Genevieve. I'm just pushing these buttons. Actually, maybe it's candy.

I don't know.

Well, I actually have an answer now. Well, now I'm getting marsupial gurgles. It is sour, right? Oh, yeah. But then you lose it right away, unfortunately. I'm getting a call from my mom. Should we accept the call from my mother? Oh, yeah. Can we do that? We can put on our speakerphone.

Mama.

How's it going?

It's good. I'm recording TBTL right now with Andrew, so this is being put onto the podcast.

What, the phone call?

Yeah, this conversation.

Oh, really?

Yes, indeed. Now we're getting down to it. Yes, we are getting down to it. What's your take on things that are sour, Mom? Do you like them? I'm chewing some kind of like sour candy that Andrew just gave me, and it's causing me to pucker. Do you have a good tolerance for that?

It's a disgraceful way to call candy.

Wait, what?

I think it's a disgrace to call candy sour candy candy.

So if it's sour. It's the opposite of sweet. So to you, if it's sour, it shouldn't be called candy.

Definitely not.

What's your favorite candy?

Probably Reese's Cups. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, you know?

Remember when we used to buy those Easter, like Reese's Peanut Butter Easter things, but you'd buy them after Easter, so they'd be on Markdown?

Yeah, like they were big eggs, chocolate-covered with really lots of peanut butter inside.

We'd get those in about May.

Yep.

And then freeze them.

Yeah, they were delicious. I always like chocolate and peanut butter combination.

Uh-huh. You know, Mom, I think that this idea that I had of playing you on speakerphone into this microphone at Andrew's house is from an audio standpoint not working out. So can I call you back when I'm on my way to the airport in about an hour?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

Okay. I love you. Oh, by the way, can... Okay. I was going to ask her. We have a big ask. I was going to ask her the big ask Because I had called her yesterday and left her a message But we will

That's probably why she's calling you back It's TBTL related We can't talk about what it is But I think it's safe to say we have a big ask of Suzy Burbank By the way this is gum Right because it's been what Has it been four minutes now five minutes It's not breaking down right So Genevieve what's going on with Genevieve's saliva I mean that's the new question Let's get some experiments done on her Bring her into the spankatorium Oh wait I was going to stop saying that I couldn't remember if I was going to start saying that more or say it less.

I need a two-minute buffer between my mom being on the phone and you uttering the word spankatorium.

It's just where I do my experiments on human beings. It's nothing weird. This is, yeah, 100% gum. Yeah, it's gum. I looked it up this morning. It's gum. I sent Genevieve a link to the website that says it's gum, and I have not heard back.

But by the way, how do we feel about the hot take from Susie Burbank? If it's sour, it shouldn't be called candy. That is a hot take.

Like, I mean, I got to give your mom credit for just, like, coming in. I mean, she doesn't even know.

She wakes up with the hottest takes.

Oh, here, I got a text back from Genevieve. She wrote,

Ha, ha, ha. Well, I ate gum then.

Indeed.

Stays in her system for seven years. Indeed you did, my love. But it's, I mean, first of all, yeah, like your mom goes from not even knowing that she's on a radio show to having a better take than I've had in about 12 years. Not better. Well. But more strong. But stronger. Yeah, exactly. Not better, comma, but stronger. But so I mad respect for that. But I would take the other side Of that argument Because of lemon drops But then you get into the sweet and sour I don't know how far you want to take this But what about Take it all the way bro Remember that terrible campaign for some sort of sweet and sour candy Where it was like first they're sweet then they're sour Do you remember that It was a pretty annoying campaign I'm guessing that the ads were Somehow kind of A way we wouldn't frame things now Were they representing sweetness and sourness in a way that was kind of lame? It didn't bother me in any kind of a woke level. I'm an anti-woke politician, Luke. I don't know how many times I can tell you that. No, I don't think it was like offensive. I just think it was just like forced sort of. It was like kind of creating a universe for this ad campaign that I felt like didn't really, I don't know, withstand scrutiny. But all of that is to say I like sweet and sour candy. So then you introduce sweet and sour. Is that candy? You know, we're parsing now is my point. Yeah, we are. Well, I think I'm going to have to side with you and against my mother's opinion. Because I love a pixie stick. Is that sweet? Is a pixie stick sweet? I believe so. Well, you know, it's been a while. What about those little sweet, sweet hearts that we would get, right? In the little like. What about sweet tarts? Is that what I'm thinking of? They're literally called sweet tarts. Yeah, they're sweet and tarts. So yeah, that's candy. Susie, wrong. Susie, wrong. I mean, we can all like what we like, but we've got to share our language. But see, she got us eight minutes of content with that take. Yeah, she did. I am hoping she says yes to the ask, by the way. If she doesn't, we're back to square one. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, what's going to drive some people crazy is us turning up the volume on your microphone so much when your mom was talking. Yes, sorry. You were chomping on gum. Yeah, sorry. We're going to get some of them, what do you call it, those anti-chewing-into-mic people. Yeah, ASMR is people who like it. Well, ASMR is the sound of, like, doing things. Have you ever caught up on any of those ASMR? It's not mesothelioma. I know that. No, it's not. That one, you should definitely get an attorney. It's mesophilia. Mesophilia, yeah. And those are people who are extremely sensitive to the sound of, like, chewing and mouth noise. Yeah. And what were we doing yesterday here that I felt was also kind of overly chompy? Overly chompy. Oh, we ate those cookies. That was it. Oh, by the way, the weirdest thing about those Girl Scout cookies that we opened yesterday. Remember we opened them up? They were like, you open up the box, there's two sleeves of cookies in there. I kept thinking, nothing's happening. I'm going to eat another one of them. And then it was too much.

It got on top of me when I got back to the Marriott in Redmond. All I know is I woke up this morning, there's only one sleeve left. I don't know what happened. When I walked out of here, I overheard a conversation between you and your partner. And I'm not talking about bingo. And there was a level of excitement I was very excited about this There was an excitement in this basement As I exited it That told me Those Girl Scout cookies are not going to last What's the half-life? I'll tell you what the half-life is The radioactive half-life Of a raspberry rainbow Raspberry rally I think Raspberry rally No It's called a raspberry none left Raspberry Rally, no? Oh, maybe. I feel like it's close to Rally. Let's call my mom. I'll put my mom back on speakerphone. I'm going to chew some gum. You know what I was thinking is they might be a little chemically. Did you get that, too? Yeah, I don't want to. The flavor was a little chemically. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate Kat sending them for sure. I was so excited to have them. I don't want Kat to take anything away from this that would be in any way even slightly less than thank you. But there were a little – the raspberry flavor feels a little like raspberry number six, which, by the way, one of the worst Lubega songs. A little bit of chemicals in my razz. A little bit of thin mint late at night. They are called Raspberry Rally, so ring my bell. Do you have my bell? You should ring it for me. God, what's ringing my bell today?

I don't know. Where's my bell?

It's right over here. Oh, there it is. It's out of everybody's reach. This is good. What do you want to talk about? This is where we give you four stories that are ringing our bell. Do you want to talk about your karaoke? I want to talk about my absolute fiasco last night when it came to karaoke. We're cutting out everything before this part. We're starting the show now. In three, two, and one. This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Camaro Kev and our friend John came over to Redmond last night to hang out. I was staying over there because of the gig that I was doing, and we just found it might be for me now, and I've said this before, but I mean it this time, the platonic ideal of a bar. Like everything that I could want in the world It's called Palmer's East Now this is a bar that you knew of Before yesterday No I just had walked past it And they were like where are we meeting And I was like how about something called Palmer's East That I just walked past It had pull tabs Touch tunes

Karaoke Which is in conflict with the touch tunes During karaoke hours

but we had three hours before the karaoke started so we had three hours of touch tunes and then many hours of karaoke and in the middle of all that we were playing pull tabs and eating bar food and with an incredibly friendly staff uh it was just wonderful but i decided to roll the dice i got a weird notion that what i should sing is the song God Only Knows by the Beach Boys.

Oh, yeah, that gets high. It's up there.

I mean, that gets really high, comically high. I wish I would have had you there, Andrew, as a little Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder because I was in a moment and I just thought, oh, that's a great song. It is. I mean, it's a great song. And by the way, people were singing like Billy Idol and Kevin and John were up there doing upbeat numbers that everybody was enjoying. And I thought, let's really, can we try to get everyone in this bar to cry right now? Yeah, I know. There's something that is just imbued with sadness. Can we take the mood? It's so wistful. Yeah. Is there maybe a more wistful but also beautiful song than God Only Knows?

Now, let me ask you this. Did it give you that sad feeling before Roger and Me? Is that the movie that uses it? The Michael Moore? Yeah, that's where I first realized that that song is like, Like I had always just sort of heard it as an oldie And I was maybe getting to the age where I realized My friends were like really respecting Not just tolerating the Beach Boys And like that they were more than just like Now even Andrew's friends can tolerate Beach Boys But that like there was this animal called Pet Sounds And some at that time unreleased thing Called Smile that people were just like You know like really obsessed over And that if you're just If you're just tapping your toes to songs About surfing and girls Surfing and girls doing their dad's cars or whatever those songs are about. But I was like, oh, there's something more here. But in Roger in me, whenever I finally saw that movie, I guess that was late 90s or something. I don't think I've ever even seen that movie. Oh, really? I know it's about basically like what, the auto industry leaving like Flint, Michigan or something? Yeah, I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen that. I can't believe you haven't seen it, especially given your taste. I think you would stand up even today, but it shows like, I think it shows the long tail of poverty. And there is a scene where there's a woman Who I believe and I'm probably getting a lot of this Wrong again it's been over 20 years Since I've seen it but I believe she's like maybe like a bit of a Bit of an urban farmer or something And she raises rabbits and eats those rabbits Whoa and it's Like kind of shocking to see somebody I mean She's it's just shocking to see somebody I'm trying to think how much they even show of her Maybe slaughtering a rabbit or something like that In a very casual like this is life This is our life kind of way and I'm pretty Sure casual rabbit is that's pretty good i'll write it i want to riff on it but i don't know it doesn't i don't i don't it gets worse from here it does it's not great to begin with but uh but yeah then i believe that's when that song plays like kind of as a coda to her story michael moore got the rights that's gotta be

An expensive song Just because Mike Love Probably currently runs All of the licensing for the Beach Boys He's sort of like the last Beach Boy around Arguably the worst Beach Boy In my opinion

I'm going to look that up But also talk more about your night But I do want to say I looked it up quickly Because you mentioned bar food and I'm hungry And it looks like Palmer's East has a much more expansive menu Than I expected They have a whole breakfast spread here too We could be there in probably 20 minutes If you want to keep this party going Did you find I know this isn't the point of your story But did you find stuff to eat as a vegetarian

Well no I had a turkey sandwich Oh really You're experimenting I'm expanding my horizon Toes are being dipped Toes I also had a dipped toe I had a toe dip I see they do have a burger dip here I don't see a toe dip No Interesting But no I had a turkey I had like a turkey dip actually I believe it was literally called a turkey dip and uh it was it was great it was amazing uh it's boy i tell you you take a few years off of eating the meat and then you get back into it and you just really

enjoy your turkey dips but it make you feel genevieve was vegan for about a year and when she kind of eased back into some foods although i think they were maybe more dairy related i think it messed with her a little bit no you um standing strong this morning i yeah i mean just the normal

amount of gurgles of intestinal disc of as our friend tune would say bubble guts sure okay just regular bubble guts but i don't think it was turkey related but anyway it was just a really fun bar and the staff was so great and again they had just all this fun stuff going on right in the heart of redmond which is you know it's near that big uh software concern and so there's a certain amount of bougie-ness down there and a lot of places that are like you know the kind of names that you wouldn't like, like Rock and Rye and Pig and Prime and things like that. So there's a lot of stuff that's sort of trying to be real small plate. Which that's going to pass now, by the way. I think that we're moving. That trend.

That sort of like hoof and rattle or whatever it is. Hoof and rattle. Well, that's a new show title. Oh, by the way, I was so wrong. It's Wouldn't It Be Nice is the song that is iconically used, not God Only Knows. But I think I'm forgiven for making that mistake

I mean they're in a very similar kind of world I will say this about the song God Only Knows How do you feel about the opening line Which if I remember right From last night when I was crashing and burning It's I may not always love you That is the first line But as long as there are stars above you You never need to doubt it I'll make you so sure about it So is he starting the song by saying, I may not always love you. Like, that's a pretty for a song that feels very just like butterflies and romance and and just an incredible, almost overly sweet song. The opening line, I may not always love you. Is interesting. It is.

It looks like that's the kind of the theme of the song to just saying that, like, listen, I'm acknowledging that I'm a human being and this might not last forever. but I'm going to be if you should ever leave me right life would go on I will survive without you but I'll be miserable God only knows what I'd be without you if you should ever leave me though life would still go on believe me the world would show nothing to me the world could show nothing to me so what good would living do me so yeah it sort of seems like he kind of keeps going back and forth and like almost asking himself can I live without this person

well people at Palmer's East could have lived without me trying to sing this song because I'm so mad at myself.

God only knows what will happen if I sing this song. God only knows why Luke chose this song choice.

Wow. Because it is, I mean, if there's anything we know Brian Wilson for, it is high, it's very high, beautiful harmonies that are difficult to recreate. Well, how did you do with Crocodile Rock? Surprisingly well. I remember when rock was young. I shifted it down about 25. Me and Susie had so much fun. No, no, no, no, no, no. It was, I mean, I think part of it was that John, our friend John, had sung kind of a high song and Kevin had as well. And they were both just crushed it. Like they both just did so well. Maybe I was trying to like compete with them or something. But I realized pretty quickly that it turns out it's very difficult to sing. Yeah. A Brian Wilson song that's not surfing safari. even that also

was that them? Let's go

surfing, surfing safari

I don't think that was Beach Boys I could be wrong

that's from Surfing Safari right? I think so

there's Crocodile Rock let's see who did Surfing Safari yeah I guess it was the Beach Boys

let's go surfing now everybody's surfing now come on a bim bim bim

I didn't think that was the Beach Boys but that was on my summertime McDonald's tapes from my youth Now, did Camaro tell you about his little journey with the song that he sings from the band The Darkness?

Yes. It came up last night. Yeah. Because it was playing. The song is, I believe, A Thing Called Love. And it goes really high. And he kills that song. Yeah. That was playing interstitially. And I was like, one thing that KJ was doing last night at Palmer's East was playing interstitial music that was so good That when it was time for you to sing your song Everyone was kind of let down Yeah, that's interesting

And that's his song That's one of his karaoke go-to

He's retired it because it is now in a commercial A TV commercial Oh, I didn't know that And he now thinks It's some fast food commercial that's using it

might even be like a spanish language version or something of it he feels now that the song i believe in a thing called love by the darkness has been so thoroughly played out that he is he's

retiring it well that's an interesting version of that story from camaro kev because apparently he and genevieve um had like a real bro down a month or two ago where kevin and i hope it's okay to say this on this show that kevin was worried that he was losing his vocal range and he was really concerned about not being able to do that song anymore i would have been more concerned about that last night before putting in god only knows and the way genevieve tells it is that he was avoiding that song and he was feeling kind of bummed about it and then genevieve on a recent eagles karaoke night when there was hardly anybody there he was caging he was caging she said just do it like this is the lowest stakes you can do it and apparently like he nailed it and she was like you still got it buddy and it was like a reawakening of Camaro Kev's darkness phase that was my understanding of it

fascinating so in other words he might be using the fast food commercial as a cover story well that's what I wanted to accuse him

of here on the show I think you just did I think there might be formally and on the record that story that I told I believe is a month or more old so it could be a couple of things happening all at the same time

What I did decide to do was, I would say, like, the maybe eighth track off of the Rocky Four soundtrack. Oh, yeah. I love that. Sure.

Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Does it have lyrics? I don't think it has lyrics, right? It has lyrics about overcoming the odds.

Oh, really? Yeah. You said Rocky? Rocky Four.

Oh, okay. Oh, I guess I can see that. Ninth track on Rocky Four.

And he just gets up there and he goes, if you know, you know. And he starts singing. And I mean, he nailed the song, but I think- But nobody knew. No one knew. and he came back I was like is that what is that it's like it's that the sort of musical equivalent of like running up the stairs at the Philadelphia Public Library yeah it's from Rocky 4 and he was like yeah I said at the beginning if you know you know it was pretty much a blank for this audience again he at least he sang it very well which he's good at karaoke man say for my Beach Boys so and would it have taken any of the fun out if i had taken it down a register i may not always love you you're getting into some long as there are stars above you you i was here's what's weird i was re-singing the song in the shower this morning at the hotel you're trying to work it out i was trying to work it out and i was doing it lower and i was like but the fun of that song is is this is again the beauty and the kind of high you know the the high notes of it and then do you have to tell the

kj like hey knock it down a pitch because i'm genevieve had an embarrassing moment is this your mom again no it's a possible spam so i met someone one possibles pam oh i love pam anything's possible um but uh anyway uh i don't i was making a joke about possible spam and then i lost my train

of thought i was trying to i wanted to make a wilco joke because oh that possible germany that

of a song? I don't know that. But anyway, Genevieve had an embarrassing moment years ago at the Eagles before she was the KJ and there was some other person running the show and she sang her very first song there, I think, and the KJ afterwards came up to her and said, you know, I can knock that down a register for you. And she was like, okay. Yeah. I think that it was both informative and I think she took advantage of that knowledge, but then I also think that it, you know, hurt her feelings or embarrassed her a little bit. She grinned her maybe?

I think I could have asked. This KJ was super serious, right? And I think I could have asked them, take it down a notch. But again, I was in a state of mind, Andrew, that did not give me the necessary trepidation about this song that I should have had, if that makes any sense. You had some Albanian courage. Our main export is bad karaoke songs. yeah so if i had been in the right state of mind to ask them hey could you take this down one octave i would have been in the state of mind to not even mess with that song but but but you know note to self i also had to write you can still see a little bit of the the residue on my hand i wrote in pen on my hand god only knows because it was this kind of thing where there was no paper yeah there was not like what you did is you went up to the kj and you just told them your name And then at some point They hollered your name And then you told them the song There was no like slip system So I had written God only knows So that you wouldn't forget So I wouldn't forget Because it was very possible that I would have That's the kind of night it was Alright let's take a quick break When we come back I want to know what's going on With this diamond derby If this show ever ends today That you're going to be attending And then I want to talk Thank you.

about howard schultz as well coming up here on tbtl we was hoping for some razzle dazzle

razzle dazzle that's right man razzle dazzle on your mark on your mark get set get set now ready

this was the second song i did at karaoke oh smart i was like if you know you know and then three people stood up and said we are dazzling donors wow wait you really fancy running to you at Palmer's East. Buried the lead here, Luke. Yeah. Ran into some tens. No, we are thanking some dazzling donors right now. These are the generous, amazingly supportive folks keeping TBTL going with their dazzling donation of dough. Starting with Nicole Partridge out there in Bothell, Washington. For how long? Whatever amount of time feels right to you. Nicole says, hey dummies. Thanks so much for another year. Oh, shoot. I need to do a hey dummies this week, don't I? Oh, yeah. Can you? I can. Hey, dummies. Thanks so much for another year of TBTL. Since Bothell is part of TBTL lore, I thought I'd provide tens suggestions for visiting. Blythe Park is lovely. Countryside donuts are the best I've ever had. I trust countryside donuts. Right? Because it's not like Jazzy Zingers.

Right, exactly. I know what you mean, though.

When you said that, even though those words made no sense, it transmitted to me exactly what I think you meant it to.

We have the Mega Monkey. Right, exactly. He's got more sprinkles than the one in Portland.

Even in Portland, voodoo.

Oh, right, yeah. Give me a bark. I was going to say, you know what? I should have said zombie donuts. That would be a good parody of voodoo, I sort of feel like. Absolutely.

I feel like there is a, if there isn't a Portlandia sketch. About zombie donuts. There should be. Where Fred Armisen is just like an annoying person who works at a place called zombie donuts. But Countryside Donuts, that sounds down-home, solid donuts. Absolutely. You can rely on Countryside Donuts. They're the best I've ever had, and we now have Tubbs. Oh, that. Sorry, Andrew. I mean, honestly. Honestly. Should we do the next TBTL-a-thon from the Tubbs in Bothell?

No, I refuse to support them. You're sticking to that. You're holding that line. Yes. No, they left. That's the thing. It's not even like, oh, at one point they opened the Bothell location, and then years passed, and then they closed the Seattle one. They literally, this is my Sonics.

They went out for a pack of smokes.

Bothell stole the tubs from Seattle. So, I mean, good, Nicole. I mean, you should take advantage of it, but I will not be darkening the door of that tub.

Well, Nicole continues, also, the kid who was a baby when I started listening is a freshman in high school. Here's to another year. Ooh, la la. Ooh, la la. Yeah. Nicole, thank you so much for supporting TBTL. We could not be doing this without your help. And also, please mail us some countryside donuts to the P.O. Box. Yes. Maestro.

On your mark. On your mark.

Those will still be fresh, by the way. From Bothell to Shoreline, where the P.O. Box is, those will be edible. Fresh for a day or a lifetime. That's what they say about zombie donuts. Hey, look who it is. It's our friend Ivan Vukovic. Hey, Ivan. In Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. That's fancy. I want to say Vukovic, right?

He gave a pronouncer here.

But you know what? Do you think Ivan really knows how his last name is pronounced? Let me mansplain something to you here, Ivan, about your own last name. That's all I'm saying. Ivan Vukovic in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands starts with Hey Dummies. Boy, this is really catching on. both both donors today are addressing us by our government names hey dummies it's Ivan from Amsterdam or Amsterdam if you will you know what I appreciate that let's keep it clean my wife Rachel and I have both been devoted TBTL listeners for well over a decade now but lately the show has held an even more special place in our hearts now I want to tell the listeners I don't know what Ivan and Rachel are saying next in this message but I'm intrigued because Ivan and rachel have been as was stated in the early part of the email long time listeners friends of the show friends of mine friends of yours used to work with rachel i used to work with rachel

rachel's a friend of mine in fact i i'd be interested well i wouldn't actually want to have a conversation about people's listening habits with tbtl if i know them irl but um i have a feeling that ivan might have dragged rachel in like possibly that checks out grudgingly into of this world my apologies rachel because i feel like i was having coffee with rachel like literally 15 years ago and she's like yeah i listen and like it just sort of ended there right yeah well

it sounds like they're both uh now at least by ivan's telling they're both very

very dedicated listeners, but I'm curious as to how TBTL could have taken an even more special place in their lives, and this is where I'll continue reading. Two years ago, we took a huge leap of faith and left Seattle to move abroad. Of all things that we brought along, of all the things we brought along with us, it's been our TBTL listenership in particular that's played an outsized role in helping us feel connected to home. As we have roots in both Seattle and Portland, getting regular dispatches about the ongoings of all these familiar places has been a comfort food for us. Did you hear about Tubbs, Ivan? They left Seattle. Talk to Nicole about it. As Seattle-Portland, it's been nice. It's been comfort food. Of all the various eras and evolutions of TBTL, this current one has quickly become my new favorite. Oh, Ivan. I mean, that means so much again because of how long I know Ivan has been listening and supporting the program we're very grateful and fortunate to be in a moment in our lives where we've been able to become dazzling donors that's that you know what that is that's that

universal health care they've got over there that's right yeah one of the things that they

cover in holland is supporting tbtl we need more can we get european universal tbtl care it's really a single payer yeah program that we need to get started it's a single dummy program Right. Thank you. I look forward to many more years of listening to and supporting the show, regardless of where we are in the world. Power out signed Ivan and also kind of Rachel.

Yeah. No, thank you both. That really does mean a lot. We've known you guys for a long time. You guys have been very great supporters of the show and good friends as well.

Absolutely. Thanks to both of you. Could not do this without you. hello and welcome to top story you sent a text out andrew that deeply confused me yesterday because i have had it was just my chest luke it was the madness that was your upper torso i i mean honestly if you're not wearing spanks don't don't slide into my dms with that no it so i have had but nope oh i kept thinking of show titles yesterday i wanted to send you

like spanks related there's so many puns right right we went with terrible spanks for asking that's good that's a good that's a good title but spanks but no spanks would have been really good

too yeah i'm trying to this is why i write things on my hand because if i don't remember if i don't write them down i'll forget them i yeah i was just walking around thinking of spanks related things yesterday anyway um you confused me with a text because i've had tomorrow circled on my calendar for a long time because i wanted to go to opening night of the mariners baseball game the home opener and i knew it was tomorrow and and i'm gonna be in chicago i'm doing wait wait don't tell me this week and so when you sent out a message yesterday saying anyone want to go get loose at the ballpark tomorrow i have an extra ticket i was like what i think i said tipsy okay loose would have been cooler yeah tight would have been coolest that actually yeah that is okay well we we can agree on that yes but anyway i was like what the holy heck so i had to google it today when is opening day it turns out it still is tomorrow

yes but you're going to something called the diamond derby i don't know if i'm going to something called the diamond derby let's be honest about this i might so here's the deal I have a buddy who is a season ticket holder A season ticket holder is how we speak Does that mean you're going to get to go to the all-star game? Well, that's kind of what this is kind of all about So this is my friend Paul Who I've mentioned many times before on the show Longest, longest running friend in my life The ghost manager of the fantasy baseball team Year one This was the first year that I didn't consult him During my draft But anyway That's why your relationship is falling apart So to go to the All-Star game, which is being held in Seattle this year, which is quite a big deal, and the timing is really perfect where our team is right now. So it's going to be a very exciting year around the Mariners. Because we know the starting center fielder will be one Julio Rodriguez. It better be. It is. So our team is going to be really good. But also it's like, you know, once every 20 years or something, a city like Seattle might be able to hold the the all star festivities, which is the all star game, as well as a home run derby. And you just all of that. Well, all stars from around the league in the country will be here. It's going to be a huge deal. And I figured, like, I'm not going to be able to do that because, first of all, I'm pretty sure it's just open to season ticket holders first and then it all gets sold out. But also, they don't just sell tickets to, hey, you can go to the All-Star game, or you can go to the Home Run Derby, or you can go to this event or that package. You have to buy an entire strip of all of it. I was going to say, it's called.

a strip exactly i had i was flying i was flying next to a lady uh a while ago who is doesn't even live in seattle but bought season tickets so she could have access to the all-star game and she and i was like hey if you ever have you know if you're not using your tickets i might want to buy some of them off of you so she had my number she texted me would you like to buy the all-star strip and i didn't even i never heard that term oh wow so she did reach out to you yes and it was like

three thousand dollars well for it's fifteen hundred i believe for one strip i believe and so that's kind of so anyway now i'm kind of getting into my friend's finances which i probably shouldn't but here was the deal paulie loves baseball he's loved it his entire life and now we're both living in the same city it's been fun we've been going to games together the past couple of years and we really wanted to do this thing but it's obviously a lot of money so i told him at one point once in a lifetime exactly but i said you know i'll pay you know a certain amount of money like what I what we kind of figured would be like the the price of maybe like one event and I said I'll give you that and I just either want to go to the all-star game or the home run derby and you can go to the rest and we'll sort of like split it up and like whatever and sort of do it and so that was our plan for us to buy a strip together but then go to some of these events by ourselves so you buy a strip one ticket we would buy a strip but then divide up because I'm sure you would get tickets for entrance for all the different things so in other words like

One ticket that you would use

He would be there, sometimes you'd be there Exactly, we wouldn't be there together That was our plan Because I like baseball, but To spend that much money And I'm only really interested in Again, one of the two events Home Run Derby, probably more than the All-Star Game That's the one that I want to go to All-Star Game, maybe a very close second And then all the other stuff, sure, maybe If I have time, but a lot of it's during the day And whatever So all of that is to say, Pauly and I have this

all worked out and then the next day derby which is like less fun i don't know fundamentals man

but fun go bad out so me and so me and paulie have this whole plan the day before the tickets go on sale then the tickets go on sale and he texts me is like well i was talking to my wife she just really wants us to go together so we bought two strips and i'm just like are you kidding me i'm just like i don't know that i can commit more money bring bingo in my situation just he's like don't worry about that like we're just gonna have fun but it just like it kind of broke her heart to think of us going by ourselves awesome actually it's it's very awesome and it's great um and so like so i that is like a centerpiece of my summer by the way that is in early july it's close to some big activities we have planned but my mom it shouldn't interfere with them but um i didn't mean to talk to you about that i'm saying is please donate or andrew won't be able to go to the all-star game but anyway um so i am just really looking forward to the summer of baseball i'm sorry luke you asked a simple question i'm making this complicated but it's all part it's part and parcel of this whole thing of diamond derby of my adventures with paulie so this is all very exciting for us we're really looking forward to that we're looking forward to going to games none of us are going i don't think to the home openers this weekend but um anyway a few weeks ago kind of and kind of as part of this conversation about the all-star thing Pauly hits me up and he says hey by the way there's this Thing the day before opening day It's part of the strip It's not even part of the strip but like as a season ticket Holder he's like there were five dollar tickets It's just like a little bunch of little Events of like the Mariners Will be out there Do you get to run the bases I don't believe that I'll get to run the bases Would you run the bases if it were offered

Yeah I love this To be on that field would be really cool That makes me so happy because I would have guessed That you'd be like I don't want to be out there I don't want to be running Well, I'd need your Spanx shirt for sure. Well, it's cut to shreds.

Because when I rip off my shirt, my wife doesn't want everybody to see my tattoos.

People were enjoying my – people were exactly – they don't want to see the Apple Watch that's telling me the pictures. Right, exactly. People were so enthused by my Beach Boys performance as they tore the Spanx right off me.

People were just tearing at me with – It was like shreds. So anyway, this Diamond Derby Day is like, like you said, opening day here at home is this Thursday. Or tomorrow, I should say. So today they're having like this little like, it was like $5 tickets. You can just like go and like kind of watch. I think they're having a little bit of a Mariners only home run derby and some other like silly things on the field. But the Mariners will actually be there. And it's just kind of a way of just kind of like. Andrew, can you, from where you're sitting, can you see that blue sky? Well, me and Pauly were going to go, but then Pauly, he's a little bit under the weather and he's got child responsibilities. I'll cancel my flight. Well, that's what I was going to say. So he's like, hey, you can just have both tickets. And again, this was not a huge investment. If I don't go, it's not a big deal. And now I'm sort of like, well, I don't know. I reached out to a few friends. Nobody's really available. It's the middle of the day. And I sort of feel like if I go to this thing, this is bad to admit, but if I go to this thing, it's going to become rolling thunder for me. Dude, get your headphones. Get your Jadena.

Yeah.

I know. Eat a hot dog.

Enjoy your, live your life, man. I almost was hoping, this is going to sound bananas, but I was almost hoping the weather would be bad today, because then I'd be like, I'm not going to do this. I have a lot of work to do. I was like, I have other things I should be doing. As your colleague. Not knocking off work at 2 o'clock. As your colleague, I officially relieve you of your duty. You're doing the hay dummies, right?

I wish, supposedly. I mean, I wish to all heck that I wasn't going to get on an airplane, because that sounds so fun to me. It's beautiful outside.

It is nice. The weather is perfect for this, so that's why I sent out the bat signal last night and just said, hey, if any of you guys just feel like hanging out, here's my thing. I think it's going to be kind of a corny event, but I also, my hope is come October when we're deep in the playoffs and it's been an unprecedented year for our team and for my relationship with baseball and my relationship with Pauly. And we're looking back and we're like, my relationship with Julio Rodriguez, which currently is fairly asymmetric. And my relationship with Colton Wong, which I'm really excited about. Yes. Getting to get him back. Former Cleveland Guardian, I believe. Really? Brewer? No. I think I don't know if he ever went past through Cleveland. But anyway, so I'm just sort of thinking, like, it'll be fun to look back at like, hey, you know what? I was at the ballpark the day before it all started. And it's going to be like a handful of people there. Yeah, exactly.

You could go and razz Kalanick if you wanted to. In a good way. I don't want to razz him. I want to support him. You could go support Kalanick in a way that, like, you're right. In October, you'd be like, hey, I remember when it was me and a bunch of nine-year-olds standing around flipping Kalanick some shit.

And a bunch of people saying, sir, could you please get out of the children's section? Like, okay, fair game. So anyway. So that wristband does not give you access. That is what the Diamond Derby is all about. I guess you've talked me into it. I will probably go. I'll be like one lone adult just shuffling around.

I'm so close to if I hadn't been upgraded to first class on this flight, I would so and reserved a fruit and cheese plate, which are hard to get.

What are you doing? You're leaving here. You've been in Seattle for three days. Now, you're not going home. You're going out to Chicago tomorrow.

I'm doing Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me tomorrow and then flying home on Friday. But then the next week, I'm going back to Chicago because we are filming Depeche Mode playing a concert at the United Center as the continuation of that story we've been doing. And then from there, I'm flying to Boston and going up to Maine to do this TV story about beavers.

Oh, OK.

So it's going to be a lot of a lot of back and forth thing for me in the next couple of weeks. That's beaver country. So when you think of beaver country, you think of the Northeast? I don't, but I think that there's a woman who wrote a really interesting book about beavers that's kind of a hit right now. And she lives in Connecticut and is going to take us to a beaver habitat in Maine.

Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of them. I always picture sort of the southeast, too, for beaver country, right? Sort of like Tennessee. Is that big? I could see.

Yes, I could see that. I love the name of this woman's book. It's called Beavers, the Weird Rodent that Built America. not the weird rodent that built america which is a different friend of ours the weird rodent who built an awesome studio in his by the way there's a um yeah that show that i've been loving called lost hills that podcast it it's a kind of a true crime podcast and the prosecutor in the ultimate court case is named like something rodent and they just keep saying things that feel like i want rodent to start his pod his i want him to start air raid up again because I have a million good rodent drops now. Right, exactly. Or we're going to just get him on the show for an episode so you can unload him. Who has the time?

Wow, rude.

All I wanted to say about Howard Schultz is he's a gross union buster. Yeah, he is. And today there was a piece in, I think it was, the New York Times that just sort of shined in an even more... No, the post is the one I think that you were looking at. That shined in even more direct light on just the depravity of Howard Schultz. And just like how much money does a person or company need in this world? Like what they were saying in this post article was that some of the union busting tactics that they've seen Starbucks employ and put into place are some of the worst they've seen. That's really saying something. It's just and again, this is a company. Our listeners get this and I don't need to I don't know, preach to the choir. But it's like Starbucks is a place, of course, that can have a union workforce and still make money. This is not like a small business that's getting off the ground and the union break would, you know, the mandatory break would kill them. It's just so grotesque to me and seems to me to be fitting. For a person to also destroy my basketball dreams

Yeah well Not to center myself in the story We don't have a lot of time to dig into this But I truly do believe with Schultz That it is that he is confounded by this I think there are some people who are I believe it's truly

You mean confounded that you believe he actually is Trying to find a way

He really sees himself as a responsible business owner Who treats the employees better Than other companies would So therefore he doesn't understand Why people would want to unionize Like, I truly believe that he's so out of it that all of this anti-union shit, he still thinks at the end of the day that he's treating them better. And it's just it's such a disconnect. And then he throws out this bullshit like, well, I grew up poor, which like that's a lot of people grew up poor. But also you've been out of that world for a really long time. And also the world changes. And just like if you really respect your employees, let them unionize. What I wanted to say was I saw an article the other day that I thought might make the show sheet, Luke. i didn't feel strongly about it enough to send it to you but with all of this anti-union shit going on with starbucks you know writ large and of course um schultz isn't technically the ceo anymore he stepped down like two weeks ago or something and i have not heard this name out loud but i want to say it's narasamon that's how i wrote it down here is this new narasamon maybe is the new ceo my apologies if i'm saying that incorrectly um but there's this headline of about like how he was taking over a little bit earlier than expected and he plans on pulling shifts as a barista and i'm like bull shift shift you are and then it's like and then it says he's gonna do one half a shift a month at various starbucks around the country if i could gif luke's face right now i don't even think i've ever seen you make that face you're just like your eyelids i believe

that's called undercover nos your eyelids were heavy i just bullshit such bs although i will tell you and i've told the story a billion times on the show when i did actually run into howard schultz in the wild and i chose instead of speaking truth to power and yelling him about the sonics i chose to just try to keep the conversation going because i was enjoying the fact that he i think perceived me and carrie as fellow rich right but he was like trying that mask on for a while i and then it fit yeah but then i remembered i'm not a rich but uh he had a cup he had there was a there's a starbucks we were in madison park there was starbucks and he had a starbucks cup and howard was written on it like the way they write everybody's name which made me think he walks into that starbucks in madison park he orders a coffee they say your name and he goes Howard and they write it on the cup which doesn't mean that it was like two silent H's which is not to say that that CEO the new CEO is not full of shit because I'm sure they are but

yeah they're just full of shit but I mean it's like and I'm sorry I know that I'm going too long on this topic and we gotta go but like I believe that yes he's going to show up at a first of all a corporate friendly Starbucks somewhere now I mean all of these Starbucks that were like going under work on

this right the advance work on this will be suffocating and they're like the what you're

going to show up the CEO of a company what do you think the first hour is going to be but everybody like you know taking selfies and doing whatever and just like it's just like it's you're not really learning like that idea of like well I'm really going to learn what it's like to work at all levels of this company no you're not you're going to learn what it's like to be a huge rich ceo i don't know why i said huge a hugely rich ceo who's like coming in and doing a photo op so that you can say like look i'm down with the people like give me a bra it's exactly like when

i do a tv story where i am like learning how to cook at waffle house which you know for the purposes of television i think is fine and entertaining but i'm not in the weeds at that waffle house trying to sling hash right you know i think you don't know what it's like i don't know I know what it's like to be a person who's being filmed, wearing an apron at Waffle House and being instructed as to how the system works. But that is such a far, far cry from the lived experience of somebody who's, you know, doing the prep work at a Starbucks at four in the morning, which, yeah, the new CEO will will will not be experiencing. But anyway, just saying Howard Schultz, boo, boo.

Exactly. I was saying boo-erns. I don't think we have time for emails with emails today, or do we? Do you want to just – I'm just worried about you catching a flight. I'm not trying to keep the show too short. I'll go forever.

I mean, well, if you have an extra ticket to Diamond Derby, maybe we missed that flight. I'm more concerned about do we have a second break? Yeah, sure, between Dazzling Donors and – now we're just talking on the air.

Between Dazzling Donors and Top Stories. You can put a break right there if you want. Beauty. Or I have a voicemail that is a specific question for you that we can do it. You want to do that? Yes. All right. See, listeners, we're advocating for you. But first, I think we need to play the... Who plays the email sound near you? I do. I play it from right over here.

Here I go once again with the email every week. That's how it's done, people. I hope that it's from a female. Casual rabbitism. It's not from a female.

Hey, Luke, can't believe you wanted to blow off the emails and V-mails today. I'm just in a rush, my friend, trying to get to the Diamond Derby for the listeners here. We got this voicemail from Jamie about your favorite show, Alone. Oh, yes.

Hey, dummies. This is listener Jamie in Seattle calling. I'm listening to Tuesday's show, and Luke is talking about Alone, which I am also completely obsessed with. And you mentioned Biko. He was like my favorite character from all of the seasons. He was the one who was in the metal band and he was like singing all the time. Can you pause this really quick?

So this guy Biko, he is like a kind of a, you know, like the listener saying he's kind of a metal head. He was just he just this real character. And he seemed like the kind of person who and the premise of this show alone is, you know, they send like 10 people out into the absolute wilderness. Different places like they never interact with each other And these people are then filming themselves And trying to just build a shelter And catch some food and Survive as long as they can And the person who stays out there the longest wins this Cash prize and this guy Biko just Seemed like the kind of person Who is going to flame out like day two He just kind of you know he was a Jolly sort and again Just I don't know what your What my brain tells me is going to be Like a person's sort of competitive Fire or whatever I wouldn't have thought this guy Goes so far in the show And is so likable It's just constantly singing these made up songs Which sounds kind of annoying but sort of not In a way Talking directly into the camera Talking to his dad, talking to his soon to be baby mama God only knows Why I did this He would have killed it at Palmer's East last night Because he's a good singer Anyway, sorry, back to Jamie

Singing all the time I love that guy Anyway, I'm curious, Luke, how you handle the hunting aspect of the show, because as much as I love and obsess over it, that part is hard for me, especially this season in Labrador, where they're showing a lot of the hunting and killing, and they're hunting beavers, and it's rough. And considering your growing compassion for animals, just curious how you handle that. I have to watch it with my hand over my eyes or muted or walk away whenever that is about to happen. So just curious. Thanks.

Or your lessening comparison for turkeys. Just joking. I was going to say that. Just joking.

Except for turkey dips. It's very interesting that Jamie would bring that up because the current season of this show, they are in Labrador. And One person has already quit the show Because they had a crisis of conscience About killing animals in the wild Well what did they think was going to happen Well that's a fair question But this guy Actually he was I think the first person out He was thriving And he was hunting I think it might have been a squirrel That he killed He was fishing and stuff And then he just said like if i remember it's like he was like eating this squirrel and he was like you know this squirrel had to die for me to be here and i just don't want to i don't want to be killing things to be out here and then there's other people on this same episode or the same season rather have been asking the question into the camera right into the thing on the tripod is it okay for me to be killing things like things are gonna have to die for us to be alive you know like the clothes we're wearing i'm speaking for myself anyway so much of my life involves something else dying as much as I might try to not make that the case it's come up on this season of the show way more than it ever has before which I kind of respect I mean there's a million reasons I couldn't handle it on this show mostly lack of toilet paper like I just think about how much their butts must stink like you know day 70 and people are getting like what's it Gerardia I've heard of that hoof to mouth like it's like a waterborne You know kind of gut problem I see people are constantly Having gut problems and all I can Think is they don't have In Labrador there are no wet wipes No or Not even dry wipes right

It's just like good luck with That leaf hope that's not poison oak I tell you the last time I went camping I stayed in A yurt it was 20 years ago and I said I'm Never camping again Like that is how much like I cannot My point is like I am not For the outcome

You would not be Biko. No. The idea that we were out there for like two nights and I couldn't take a shower, but we were staying in a yurt with a whole bunch of people. We were in a yurt with a whole bunch of people. I believe that it's described as glamping, they say. Yeah. I mean, this was a long time ago. This was before glamping was a thing. But, yeah, in other words, it was like the most mild experience in the woods you could have, except it did rain the whole time, which I didn't like. But I just remember like Genevieve was like, yeah, we're just not even going to try with you anymore.

See, I actually do enjoy camping for a night or two. Like, Addie and I went camping this summer. We had such a wonderful time. So I'm into that. But, no, I mean, to answer Jamie's question, no, I wouldn't enjoy killing animals. Or I wouldn't tolerate it for myself. In other words.

But does the show make you uncomfortable is her, I think, was her question. Like, how do you get through those? It does.

I also kind of wince, and I look away a little bit. And this, Jamie's also right, this season has had. You just Maloney'd it What's the specific Italian city He mentions Somehow the specificity The specificity of that Italian city Makes me laugh Or maybe just says Italy Guys going to Italy They've shown An inordinate number of Shots if you will Of like squirrels With an arrow through their head And not like the Steve Martin Exactly none of this like Born standing up that was his memoir I believe On the cover he may have that arrow

The record is wild and crazy guy I believe

It troubles me on the show Jamie and it would definitely trouble me in real life Like I don't think although I will say this I have a lot of respect for people Who subsistence hunt Because as a person who recently started re-eating turkey like if somebody is going to actually go and hunt and then consume an animal it's so much better to me than me driving through mcdonald's and getting a burger of course it's so disconnected from the process like i do have a higher level of respect for people that are you know that are observing an animal dying for their own sustenance like if we all had to do that we will frankly we'd eat a lot less meat it's not factory farming right so so i don't i don't think i don't have a problem so much morally with it but i don't love seeing it and also i

don't think i'd be able to do it man i uh was when i was now you're hungry for squirrel when i was in hawaii um i actually thought about this as bringing it up on the show but we'll just make a quick mention of it here and then we'll get you out of here but uh i was in hawaii and i was sitting at a bar genevieve was on some adventure and so what did i do i went got too heavy of a lunch nothing like being in hawaii eating a big plate of like barbecue that's where you want to do it mahalo exactly but that is exactly what i was doing and on the tv because it was like a barbecue joint they had um like cattle wrestling competitions you know like rodeo that's the word i'm looking for there we go roping and it was just like yeah busting and i found it like really upsetting i think it was younger people doing it too i think that's a young person's competition i think that's called mutton busting and then like wrapping up the animal's legs and like fighting with them And I was like, I'm sitting there eating. It made me uncomfortable. And I thought of you. I was just like, oof, you would not. It's just like, it's really upsetting. I have zero animals in distress.

Peace and love to our listeners who love rodeo. But that whole thing for me is really troubling. Because, again, I think that there's an argument to be made that human beings probably need to consume meat for both protein reasons and also because it's sort of the food chain. We don't have to hog tie hogs. like we don't have to do that to stay alive on this planet it's just purely for entertainment and i don't bull bull riding bronco busting mutton busting none of it i'm not into any of it

even uh little like videos that go viral of an animal doing something that looks like amazing or daring do like i've i like there's somebody posted something the other day that was pretty amazing looking it was like a raccoon way up in some rafters and it was doing this you're like it's not supposed to be there but and like and they set it to some music and it was a funny video and it looked kind of badass but I was like that raccoon is in major distress like major distress absolutely and that's what I think of

that's I can't those are no fun Nick over no man I'm right there I'm if you're the president I'm the I'm the treasurer of no of no fun no fun town because that's all I can think of with so many of these viral videos that involve animals doing something like you said allegedly cute I'm thinking the the anxiety this animal is feeling right now um is off the charts yeah so anyway the anxiety i'm feeling about missing this flight is i'm feeling it's on the charts but it'll soon move off the charts if we don't wrap things up so uh we're gonna call that

good but guess what we're gonna be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio if you i'll be in chicago andrew will have stories from diamond derby i'll have diamond you have to go for the purely for the content i need you to go to yeah now it's a beautiful day as your colleague i direct you to please go to diamond derby for the show then once you're on that train line teddies is on the train line hey you know what who's don't threaten andrew with a good time all right thanks y'all we'll see you tomorrow until the meantime have a great wednesday and Please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Let's face it, some people have a way with words. Other people, uh... Not have a way, I guess. Power out.