Muse

what's your favorite utensil my favorite utensil is

i never thought about it wait seriously that's i can say it like what have you had to pick guess a fork okay that is crazy like why would you want cold metal prongs stabbing you in the tongue when instead you could have your food delivered into your mouth on like a cool soft

pillowy cloud what did you just say tbtl that guy's dumber than the bag of hammers at the bottom of a

frozen lake here's some advice i gave to the girls in my dance troupe at the dance till you drop tournament that advice was dance dance dance these are dave lyrics dave dave matthews hardcore fans

call him dave oh excuse me for being alive in the 90s and having two ears connected to a heart you should be thanking me buying me carrots and whiskey no hard feelings but i hate you not joking

bye all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live it's a kind of magic my name is luke burbank i am your host oh yeah coming to you once again from the hollywood broadcast center right here in portland oregon where uh we're still dealing with a tremendous amount of rain um didn't know you like to get wet though and possible snow tonight they just said on opb does your friendly podcast host fear that winter will never end here in the pacific northwest yes he does i guess we just got to deal with it uh april snow brings may i don't know hey actually that kind of rhymed all right let's get into it folks here on episode 3920 in a collector series fun begin uh we've got some food news we need to discuss welcome to food news today including the mysterious case of a bunch of uber eats food being randomly delivered to people who did not order the food in a couple of different neighborhoods in the greater Los Angeles area. The past is history. The future is a mystery. And then if you decided, you know, you wanted to eat some of that Uber Eats food and maybe even save some of it, well, hope you've got plenty of Tupperware on hand because the Tupperware company has announced they may be going out of business. I don't know a lot about business. It would appear the Tupperware company is being run very much like I run my own financial life, which is to say haphazardly speaking of my life my life with bubbles the cat i have had a real kind of mental shift and breakthrough with her there is something about the soul of a cat uh which i think is going to really improve our relationship we could talk about that too oh speaking of cats cool cats who

are complete catches believe it or not i'm a complete catch let's talk to this guy the longest

running cobro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is andrew

walsh good morning my friend good morning i'm really interested in this tupperware story i know nothing about it yesterday i came into the show saying hey looking forward to talking about these stories i have some thoughts now i'm like hey i'm looking forward to talking about these stories i don't know anything about them and i need you to tell me the stories like it's bedtime

like it's story time that's such a great i mean that's really you're really a two-tool athlete on this you can talk about stories that you have researched and talk about stories you haven't or

i can listen to stories i haven't researched which really that's the boondoggle right there right like that's uh i mean you got a job where sometimes it's better when i don't prepare like

well there are actually times i there are times when i will put in the show sheet like kind of specifically please do not look at this because i think it's more interesting if if you're finding out um you know for the first time and uh you know i think what happened was i for you know a number of years had the the luxury of riding shotgun with one dave ross at cairo radio ross and burbank and i did not know how good i had it just blowing in 10 minutes before the show clutching some kind of bizarre low-carb breakfast box from grand central bakery and then just kind of riffing based on whatever it was dave said um i would i really i would say that um that riding Shotgun is, that's a pretty cool deal in radio. Yeah, and also

I would say, and I don't know who it was at the time, but I would also say probably that's a testament to the great job that the producer on that show was doing at the time as well, like kind of setting those stories up. Well, I mean, after Libby, I think Libby was there for a little bit, but then after Libby, there was somebody else. I can't remember his name. Good-looking guy,

beard. The Australian guy? No. No, before the – so after it's like – After Libby, but before the Australian guy. Before the Australian guy, there was this other fella. Under the pencil erasers. I can't remember his name, but he was a – well, I remember he was a real looker. He was a distraction to everybody in the office because he was such a good-looking guy, but also he was really good at producing and setting the show up in a way that there was a narrative arc and a flow. And he one time got a guest on from the hospital, from his own hospital bed. of the guest who had a wire in one of his intestines because he ate a steak. Yeah, from a barbecue cleaning brush. Oh, you know what?

You're thinking of Andrew Wald. Deadass, you high, huh? Okay, kill that. I thought I was going to lose you this morning, Andrew. I mean, I thought I might never get you back down here because it's an exciting day at Walsh Has Manor.

The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here! Yeah, we got a new phone book upstairs, and it's great. It's the only one, they've made one of them in Seattle, and they delivered it. I have so many people to call, man. I don't know where to begin. I guess in the A's. Yeah, no, it's a banner day here. We finally bit the bullet and replaced our washer and dryer. When we moved into this place, there were a full-size washer and dryer, side-by-side units, not stacked, that are in this little laundry room area off of our kitchen. But they take up so much space. In fact, Genevieve did some spelunking on our, I guess, historical data on our house, and she found like a previous listing from before we bought it, some other listing like 10 years before that. And she saw this washer and dryer was down here in the basement somewhere. But when they decided to turn this basement into, I think, a second living unit for renters at the time, they moved those washers and dryers upstairs to this area where I think all renters in this house could access it. It was in like kind of a common area, which makes sense from a landlord's perspective, but doesn't make sense from a space perspective. As you know, Luke, to walk past the washer and dryer, you had to twist your body and then slide through like the, I don't know, five inch, six inch gap between the dryer and the wall leading down to the basement.

It was definitely a tightest squeeze.

Yes. So we knew as soon as we moved in here that we were going to need to get more of a stacked washer dryer situation. And then the washing machine that we had here was fine. In fact, Genevieve sold that via Craigslist over the weekend, which was nice because we didn't have to pay to get it taken away. Instead, we made some money. But I was a little bit nervous about her selling it on Saturday and this washer and dryer supposedly showing up today on Tuesday. And I was in the back of my head and maybe the front of my head. In between those two areas, I was thinking there's no way. In this economy, there's no way you order a washer and dryer from Lowe's and they say it's arriving on Tuesday and it's going to arrive on Tuesday. Pre-pandemic, sure, I would count on that. Nowadays, I'm just like, there's just no way. Shit is broken. Everything's broken. Systems are broken. Supply chains are broken. There's just no way. We're going to be a week and a half without a washer and dryer. But I think I'm the hero here because my worrying paid off. I learned at a young age that when you worry about things, they turn out OK. It's the things you don't worry about that sneak up on you and surprise you, which is why at a young age, I learned to worry about as many things as possible. That's a true story.

Absolutely. No, and that really.

And it really it's really it's really, you know, led to a very calm life for me. Yeah. But no, the washer and dryer are here. They were just installed this morning. I have not had a chance to give him a tumble yet, as it were.

Well, that's why I thought I might have lost you because you and I were – we were having one of our more leisurely sound checks where we're just kind of chatting it up and did almost an entire show before we started recording. And one of the topics was what do you tip a person or the persons who are installing like a washer dryer from like the Home Depot type deal? and then i kind of heard in the background you and genevieve chatting about like oh they're they're done already and then i didn't hear from you for a few minutes and i was just imagining you like a kid on christmas morning just doing an entire load of laundry and just watching it and

just forgetting that i had to work just forgetting about you down here but this is you know this is

as the co-host of the spotless podcast this this is a big deal for you it's a huge deal for me i

mean it's funny um i'm seeing right now that genevieve took a photo of the new washer and dryer and sent it to me and it's interesting that her angle on this makes this look like a very it's just beautiful like a very it's a very flattering angle but i but there's i'm not joking but the funny thing is is um because of the old setup and where they had like the pipes and tubes coming out of the wall it's all exposed now and sort of like snaking over to it it's just like an area.

Maybe it's like snaking maybe about a foot or two, like as opposed to having all of those tubes like hidden behind the stacked units. They're kind of exposed now, which I know we're going to get a little shelving unit there that should sort of take care of that. But like right now, when you kind of come up the stairs, it actually kind of looks like it kind of looks like garbage from one angle. But I appreciate Genevieve's. I see. Can you send me staging of this photo? Because from here, it looks very respectable. Also in this photo, I'll send this to you. You can see that Genevieve installed a new legit retro ceiling light. You know, we had one of those boob lights on the ceiling. You know those things you see them.

I don't know if that's the official name, but yes.

You know, it's funny. So I was standing in our hallway the other day, and I kind of looked up at the light fixtures, a couple of light fixtures that we had installed in the ceiling, just in the house. And they're that generic. it's the type of thing that i never really noticed before then suddenly i noticed and i was just like wow those are really ugly light fixtures you know um just like very standard kind of again kind of rental unit kind of looks they're like they're they're um you know whatever they're round they protrude down from the ceiling and then there's like a little uh tit light sure yeah okay sure yeah and then there's something that is kind of like on the tip of it uh and and the thing is I swear I said to Vives I'm like oh we should Replace these and I don't even know if she called it A boob light or not Luke the next Day one of these Meme accounts I follow Kind of a design kind of an angry Design meme account I follow on Instagram Had it Featured one of these lamps And it said You know

You just put boob light into Google Does it show up just get all of those Lights and it says sponsored and then it says shop boob light and then it's a link to like wayfair and so it's not even being played for like a joke it's just i think the common way of describing these thank you because i i had like

i said i happened like i was just like oh this is my own house and i'm just looking up i'm like oh that thing's ugly and then yeah i'm looking at it now too i'm not the only one who called him that and then all of a sudden this meme was kind of like you're paying blank amount of money to live in seattle and these are the lights on your ceiling or something it was just like kind of like suddenly i was like oh my god yeah these are in every like this is like the cheap thing that some property owner would put in their rental unit described as builder grade you know it's kind

of like when they when they build the apartment or they build the house and they're not planning on living in it somebody is just you know gonna build it and then sell it it's as opposed to like if you're if you've bought a home and you're remodeling it or if you're building your own home or like there's that level of care that goes into somewhere you're going to live and then a different level of care that goes into somewhere someone else is going to live who then pays you

money right and you mentioned that even about the landscape architecture um what are the trees we have outside of our house as a border and you were just talking about it the other day it's like you

hate those things yes i'm sorry i didn't mean to i didn't mean to diss the trees they're no uh what are they though i always actually say them wrong uh too they're i can't remember they're the avagoda

trees no arborvitae i think arborvitae is how genevieve says it i don't know what is the correct i think she's right i think it's arborvitae but i always think of abe vagoda but like aka fish from barney miller once you start to see that you're like oh yeah that is just like all over the place like that is just a great landscape exactly build a great landscaping so anyway

what was i going to say so you're getting rid of these boob lights at some point oh yeah i'm going to send you this photo yeah pride of your home yeah so genevieve took down one of the boob

lights in the um living area and installed like a uh whatever a nicer uh ceiling fixture and then just this weekend we were down at the uh Soto like um it's called like the second use store or something it's all kinds of building equipment doors and tools I mean it is I mean old sinks and tubs like anything that is just like you know reusable have you ever been to that place before

the one down in Soto I don't know if I've been to that one but I've been to many places like that you know um there's the habitat for humanity stores there's the re-center um there's a bunch of different versions of that and i i could just wander those places forever i love that stuff yeah

and and just to be clear like this is like it's not just you know it's like it's it's kind of bigger great stuff like huge lockers and doors and shelving things things that you'd have to install not just like kind of like a thrift store or whatever for listeners right it's lots of

industrial scale yeah exactly commercial things and uh anyway and we were down there and we found

a little retro a ceiling lamp and so genevieve before this washer and dryer got here she installed that thing which is uh it's i like it it wasn't super expensive and it's like a lot of the stuff we have that is sort of looks like that era is fake you know it's like kind of like something that was made today but is being sold as you know you know because it's it's the look but it's not quite the real thing and this is the real thing so anyway i'm excited our laundry room is getting there. Send me a pic, man. I'm looking to send this to you right now. Send me a flattering pic of your new washer and dryer and your new sweet, sweet light.

And you're sending, the light doesn't come off great in this photo, but, and you're sending me pictures of boob lights, I should

say, boob lights. I just think that's amazing that I really felt like if I put boob light into Google, I'm going to get at least some amount of adult content. Oh, that looks nice, Andrew. Yeah, it's a flattering

angle. That looks real nice. Oh, absolutely.

That's a huge improvement.

That is my washer and dryer Doing the equivalent of duck face right there Or turtling Not duck face, turtling is what I meant

Although duck face is in the same family Are people still doing that? I haven't seen the duck face in a while I don't think that's as popular as it once was I mentioned at the top of the show Sorry, I've got a cat on the brain Per always Because she's just like perched on this garbage can Trying to see if my attention strays so she can jump up onto the table or the sit-stand desk that has all the equipment on it. And I had a real breakthrough last night with her, which was I have been acting like I have a cat living in my apartment, and what I have is a wild raccoon. And if I just think about it that way, her behavior makes so much more sense. And I'm not mad at her because if I had a wild raccoon living here, I wouldn't expect them to not try to eat my broccoli, olive oil pasta that I was in the midst of cooking last night. All of her behaviors make perfect sense.

Well, I would do that too, by the way, and I'm not a raccoon or a cat.

Well, maybe I need to think of her as a wild Andrew.

Maybe just think of her as a person who likes good food.

I've been, you know the saddest part? I cook about once every two months, and most of the time it's pasta with some broccoli in it, sauteed up in some olive oil and chili flakes and it's good that's great every once every eight weeks when i do this i have to text becca and go how would you make this if you were going to be making this and then she texted me like an elaborate detailed step-by-step plan and but i don't retain this information on my bi-monthly cooking events it's like it rolls around again and i'm like i just want to make sure i'm doing this i mean it couldn't be more simple it's like parboil the pasta get the olive oil and the garlic and the stuff going get get the broccoli kind of nice and softened up and then toss the uh the shells in with it and get it all i mean it's it couldn't be more straightforward okay i was picturing thick spaghetti i don't know why well you love thick spaghetti i'm not really into that um i think i like these i got these these small pasta shells i wanted to get like oricetti right is that like italian for ear shape oh i don't know and i couldn't find any i'll tell you what that fred meyer by my house was had really been picked over in the pasta department they just had like it was kind of remarkable how limited this and this is a huge huge store like they have everything um and lots of it but anyway i think i like i was doing penne for a while and i don't think i like penne as much

as i thought i liked penne those are the little tubes yeah those little tubes yeah that are cut at an angle um those are fine they're a little slippery slippery little suckers i'll tell you what i was just buying pasta the other day and i did not see this and i was i was in that aisle for a while oh gosh that reminds me of a of a grocery store rant that i told you i wanted to go on like a month ago and i never went on it um i do want to come back around to that but what about wagon wheels that is a childish pasta obviously but if i ran across a box of wagon wheels I would totally make them do they still make literally that was like

practically all they had and it never even occurred to me to buy those I mean I would

buy it kind of as a lark if I was having if I was cooking for guests or something I don't think I'd be bringing out the wagon wheels but wouldn't that be kind of a little trip down memory lane the texture me mama like a wagon wheel parboil that pasta any way you

feel yeah mama rock me uh are you not an old crow medicine show guy um i have never in my life that i can remember had that pasta like the pasta my mom made us these yeah i mean maybe it's because

we were you know because we were kids i would have loved that as a kid are you kidding that

would have involved my mom making pasta or a boiling pasta which was not really in oh that

wasn't in her wagon wheelhouse oh my god i remember i was a real you know what a picky eater i am for some reason when i was a kid i did not if my parents were making noodles with red sauce i at some point got in my head that i did not like spaghetti sauce i didn't like red sauce so my mom would always just make buttered noodles for me which was again my my path to healthiness of

course well you know i was last night because i don't understand proportions i had made way too much pasta for the amount of broccoli that I had cut up and the amount of kind of you know, olive oil, garlic, chili pepper slurry that I'd created. So I had this colander that was still almost full of pasta, and I thought, hmm, what could I do with this tomorrow? And I was like, you know, what I could do is throw some butter on there and just have some new, which is not something I grew up eating either, although it is, there's nothing to not like about that combination. Like, that's right up there with toast. It's just, like, almost the perfect flavor and, like, texture and just enjoy. Like, I'm surprised I'm not eating shells and butter most nights of the week because it's delicious.

The shells, I, again, I don't know why I'm obsessed with this. Maybe it's because I'm always trying to eat too quickly. But I do feel like shells, those are real slippery little buggers, right? Like, when you're down to, like, the last, like, four shells in the bottom of your bowl, can you get them? Or do you just sacrifice them to the noodle gods?

I sacrifice them to the bubbles gods. Oh, okay, that's right.

That's what we're talking about. Sorry, I forgot.

Because, yeah, what happens is if I leave my food alone, my apartment has kind of a weird layout where there's a there's like a breakfast bar, but it faces away from the television. It faces towards the kitchen so that, you know, if you can kind of imagine you've got the stove, the microwave, the refrigerator and some cabinets are all on like the back wall. Then you have – if you turn around, there's an island, and that has the kitchen sink, the dishwasher, and the big countertop, and then a little kind of bar that you can sit at. But the problem is you're facing away from the television, and I want to watch the Mariners.

Because those stools are for – that setup is for when you're cooking but you have guests over, and they're drinking wine while you're sautéing your noodles.

That was the design, and it makes sense because, I mean, it's the only logical way to do this in, you know, in this apartment. Like, it would be, I can't, otherwise it would be the opposite, where, like, the sink is out in the living room, and you could stand at the sink and stare at the refrigerator while everyone sat and looked towards the, it's logical, but it is not helpful for me when I want to really study carefully how bad the Mariners are at defense, as was the case last night. so anyway i sit like a real really like i'm really leaning into certain tendencies of millhouse's dad when he gets divorced in the simpsons like sitting on my couch with i put a dish towel down on the coffee table so that it doesn't get you know jacked up and then i put my little stuff down my little salad and my little pasta and whatever but then it's just a constant battle to keep the cat off of it because she's a wild andrew yeah and uh so after when i'm mostly full what i then do is i put the bowl down and i know she's going to come stick her nose she doesn't really even eat it she just like wants to kind of smell it maybe lick part of it and then once she does that the meal's over so that's that's our system here yeah i mean once you do

meals over for everybody in that's what i mean yeah right oh totally and that's almost kind of

like you know i used to when i was when i was much uh more obsessed with my figure there was a period of time where i was doing this move where like if i had eaten enough food that i was full and let's say i had a bunch of french fries left on my plate or whatever i would literally dump my water on it just to be like i don't need that anymore because if i wait five minutes my stomach will catch up with my my mouth and my brain and i'll realize that i'm full um i don't do that anymore but when bubbles comes and starts licking the food that's when i'm done eating it yeah i can't remember

my friend jessica would i don't think she did this but she talked about i think maybe seeing this on reality tv or maybe like uh uh queer eye for the straight guy when that was like in its first iteration all those many years ago but like there was somebody who would take like one bite of a brownie or like one bite of a cupcake but then spray the rest of it with windex so that wouldn't be tempted to go for the second bite like wow that's that's intense you were just slopping up your steaks i mean anybody would do that i mean you know i'd like yeah i'm worried that the baby thinks people can't change but you were just slopping them up nothing wrong with you

think this is slicked back this is pushed back okay you know why that line from that sketch is i mean there are so many lines from that show we're talking about i think you should leave but there's so many lines from that show that just kill me but for some reason when tim robinson's like you think this is slicked back this is pushed back i don't know why that kills me

i know we can't get that that that show is just like it's become a love language for and it's not even like all of my friends who are in the same friend group i mean like friends you know disparate friends from around the country if you like that show you're you you communicate in nothing but quotes from that show I was sitting at brunch with Genevieve on Saturday and she and I were literally at the bar watching a sketch

from I Think You Should Leave with Party Hardison, with Patty Harrison in it. I'm scared how much I need wine. I'm watching that. And then I get a text message from my friend Hannah, and the message is a gif of I think you could leave turbo time, guys jumping up and down on the couch. I'm like, I cannot escape this show, not that I want to.

And there is a new season coming out in May. How do you feel about that, by the way?

I feel great about it. Sorry for blasting you there. I was coughing, and I muted my mic, and then I turned it up too loudly. I'm excited about it. I am one of those weird people who I think I like season two better than season one. And that probably has to do with my own journey to the show. And I watched I think I watched season two before anybody told me anything about anything in the sketches. And so it was all fresh to me. And so I think I liked it better. So anyway, I thought season two was really powerful stuff, powerful comedy. And so I'm looking forward to season three.

i am too kind of instinctively because i i i love that show and uh and yet i guess maybe 0.05 percent of me is a little nervous like can they can they pull off a third season that's as good as the first two seasons have been um you know but i guess we'll just have to find out

together yeah and also um tim robinson the man behind that show is in and a listener texted this to me so i don't think i have their name but um he's in a great uh like dodge ram electric vehicle commercial now that is basically like yes oh is there more than one i only saw one it was

really good i've only seen one as well okay yeah so that's great hey i know we got to take a break

but when we come back can i talk to you about this grocery store thing i yes cannot wander around the grocery store now without having this argument in my head and i'm always wondering how the tbtl listeners will weigh in on this absolutely okay uh we will do that in a moment here on tbtl

we was hoping for some razzle dazzle razzle dazzle that's right man razzle dazzle on your mark on your mark get set get set now ready ready go everybody razzle dazzle all right let's thank

some dazzling donors here on this Tuesday. These folks are making TVTL possible with their donation of a dazzling amount of dough. Folks like, hey, it's Marshall Mawson out there in Amsterdam, Netherlands. Now, I think we told Marshall to move to the Netherlands, right? I believe we did, and it actually is addressed here in Marshall's message. Marshall says, a year ago in my dazzling donor message, I asked you guys to impart some wisdom to me about my contemplating moving to amsterdam from san francisco and i wanted to say that i really appreciated what you guys said i really hit that out of the park andrew give any memory of what i

said um you said listen i've been around this world a few times marshall and i've seen the good and i can't find my baby i've seen the bad and i can't find my baby i don't know okay go ahead

i think that's why i just quoted the lyrics to that song i didn't tell marshall that it was I just tried to pass it off as my own wisdom

who does that song I feel like I can picture the video as all blue right it was like that very early 90s maybe late 80s

that song was happening was it like somebody named Watkins was her last name Watkins it was happening in an era where I feel like there was like 10 songs that were just like that all by different artists and they were all kind of like similar I mean you know that's how trends go and I kind of can't separate them

out in my mind i'm looking for it now i'll you read marshall's message i'll report back just

open google up it's still on boob light yeah possible the person who sings that song was named boob light um it was it was not like it wasn't like lisa stansfield i'm getting lisa stansfield yes yes wow can i can i get a wait you weren't googling that no that just came into my brain move over terry the dog there's a new thing luke remembers i'm a little bit wrong about the

video it looks like it starts off in black and white uh marshall says uh it was a very nice

message and honestly great encouragement it's hard to believe that was only a year ago it feels like a lot of life has been lived since then i've been here for about nine months now and it's certainly not without challenges or things i miss about the u.s and california but it's been a good change and fun experience so far I've been able to do a lot of traveling by train and plane 10 countries in Europe since I've been here wow I bike everywhere I've met a lot of cool international people and even met up with a couple of tens who live here in Amsterdam that's cool I really appreciate having a fresh TBTL to wake up to each morning to bring me some comfort from my imaginary friendos in the US during my bike commute to work what you do is so important Oh, Marshall, I'm so glad to hear that.

that you're settling in well there in the Netherlands.

I mean, you're living in Amsterdam, taking your bike into work, just hopping between all those countries that are close. I mean, it's the European dream.

Also, wasn't Amsterdam the jumping-off point for one of my few good jokes I've ever made on this show? Did you say Amsterdarn? I said something like my parents were so Christian growing up, we had to call it Amsterdarn.

Wait, was that part of your stand-up?

No, I think I just said it on the show Probably last year when Marshall was asking If he should go to Amsterdam When you make four good jokes over 15 years You don't forget them, Andrew

Yeah, who are you talking to? By the way, this video does get out of the black and white It goes into color and it is drenched in that sort of Kind of blue hue That marks the videos of this era You know what I'm talking about? Very cool lighting

Who was Watkins? There's somebody, I feel like Watkins There was someone whose last name was Watkins

Who sang another song I'm thinking like a Sarah or something Was it a song About God Or a song that invokes God

I'm thinking of just another one of those Almost like How would you describe that Been Around the World And I Can't Find My Baby song What genre would you describe that as being

That's interesting I don't know I just think of it as pop music From the very late 80s

But it almost felt to me like it was european in a sense because it was just kind of like it was so non-specific in a way like it was a kind of song that could you could play it in any country and it had a kind of very accessible i don't know beat and sound to it was sort of non-specific like it wasn't like a song by aretha franklin or a song by something that felt very american to me it just felt like something that could have literally been out of like denmark or something well let me ask you just pushed out

to a worldwide population it does would you put it and this is risky where i'm going here for your rhythmics fans but would you put it sort of in that genre genre sort of because

i mean sort of because of like if you think of like how like sweet dreams are made of these that opening and rhythm synthesizer is a little bit like these i feel like these kinds of songs Had a lot of synth in them But I would also say that Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart I don't know who did the bulk of the songwriting For some reason I assume it's Annie Lennox Because she was the lead singer Had a more kind of edgy, interesting tone No offense to the Lisa Stansfield heads out there But I feel like what Eurythmics was doing Stanfield stands, I believe I believe that is how they Identify themselves on Facebook I feel like, I know what you mean There were some similarities from the music standpoint But I guess I felt like Eurythmics had sort of a point of view as a band um more so than this this kind of very generic version of like listenable music that you would hear in like a hair salon it was all kind of interchangeable

in my mind well now i am starting to get offended because i like that song so maybe we should just move on maybe you should just say maestro before we all have her feelings here on your mark on your What was that one that was like, I don't even know the lyrics.

I'm just going to make sounds that sound like. Okay, good.

Da-da-da. I feel that, feel that, da-da-da. I feel that, feel that.

I'll bet you that sounds like something to the people in the audience. I think that. No, I'm not joking. I think that this is a fail. I think this is a company. That doesn't sound like anything to me. And then a single tear rolls down your face. I think I'm definitely the wrong person for that kind of game, because I don't have a great ear for that kind of stuff, and also I have some huge blind spots.

Will you bring down the music for a second, and in the clear, I want to sing my version of this song, and then I would like someone to please... Shazam it. Shazam this, or just tell me what this song is, okay? Mm-hmm.

Da-da-da, I feel this, feel this, da-da-da, I feel...

I'm assuming they're saying I feel it, and if you're thinking I'm trying to do Technotronic

pump up the jam i'm not but it is you'll know when he's doing technotronic you'll know when

he's doing that but exactly yeah it's it's almost rhythmically like technotronic but technotronic of course was like more rap you know pump up the jam pump it up while your feet are slumping when the jam is pumping i don't think that's what they say anyway it's time to thank susan long and silver spring medical doctor oh no that's maryland in this case oh okay i thought Susan was just showing off Susan says Hi Luke and Andrew I'll use my 1,000 characters including spaces to say that it recently dawned on me that I've been listening to TBTL for almost 10 years This realization brought home to me how much TBTL

Luke and Andrew, are part of my daily life. Thank you for being a friendly and reassuring presence during the ups and downs of the past decade and for building an amazing community. P.S. I love hearing about Bubbles and Bingo and Professor Bananas. Good show for you, Susan. Susan adds, and washer and dryer talk. Oh, interesting. Wow. Four-star day for Susan. I hope you'll continue to bring us tales of their shenanigans.

Love. Washer and dryer? I most certainly will, man. They're up there. They're sleeping right now, but I can't wait to tell you what they get up to tonight.

You need to do the thing that I used to do. By the way, Susan says, I love your friend, oh, Susan. I don't know how this works with a washer and dryer, but when I was a kid, I had, I mowed lawns, you know, for a summer, and I saved up, and I bought a pair of Michael Jordan sneakers, Jordans, Air Jordans even, and I loved them so much that I put them on a shelf i've told this story before so that in my bedroom so and i position them so that when i woke up and opened my eyes they would be the first thing that i saw i think you should drag the

washer and dryer into your bedroom and so that when you wake up you'll be like that wasn't a dream they're still here just reach out and just gently touch them in the middle of the night just

so i know that they're there yeah exactly just double check maybe even see if you can get them under the covers do that you this stack washer and dryer and then genevieve this is the blankets over the washer and dryer you're just patting it gently just to keep double checking it's there

i feel like we're getting closer and closer to a a scene from everything you ever wanted to know about sex but we're afraid to ask have you ever seen that movie it's a woody i might be afraid to ask about that do you know that it's a woody allen film um and it's like a bunch of uh short stories i believe or short short they're not really sketches but they're like i don't know maybe a vignettes vignettes exactly and um i believe there is a incredibly moving story about a man and a sheep and um the man is played by um uh gene wilder and so i mean we you know it's a woody allen film so i don't think i'm rushing to watch it anytime soon But, yeah, I remember a man falls in love with a sheep, but it's handled with it's handled more gently than you might expect. Right. There's more nuance to it than you're expecting.

Well, you know, I see those things sometimes. Hold on. Thank you to our dazzling donors. Hold on. Thank you to our dazzling donors. We could not do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I just wanted to activate the top story sounder so we could at least be allegedly in that phase of the program. But, you know, these there were some videos going around for a while, which I think. The coverage of this was really, I think, intended to in some way. How do I put it? Basically, there was there are people that fall in love with inanimate objects or at least develop a really strong emotional connection to inanimate objects and will be in like a relationship with them. you know as much as that can be and i saw this on tiktok but i had seen it like recently i saw it on tiktok but i had seen it years ago when it was making the rounds of a person a woman who had fallen in love with a carnival ride oh yeah yeah you know married it or something and that's not for me uh uh probably obviously to the listeners but i don't know how to say this it's not insane to me somehow i mean it's it's not typical it's not something that would work for me but i don't know somehow there was some part of that that just like it wasn't as zany to me as the as it was presented as and i'm probably one of the only people on planet earth who it's like i kind of get it hmm what do you want to marry nothing that's inanimate or animate let's be honest at this point with my track record i don't want to i don't want to buy or sell anything animate or inanimate leave a trail i don't know i just heartbroken lamps around the country i guess what i mean is i can understand fixating emotionally on something that's not going to ever really like let you down unless the carnivore ride is literally lowering you down then i guess in that case but like what's scary about relationships well the idea that you may be hurt by the other person or you may hurt them. There's a lot of complexity to human relations and there is in a way much less complexity to falling in love with a building because the building is, you know, is just going to be there doing its thing. I mean, it's clearly a transference of some kind, but I can see how it could be emotionally reassuring.

Yeah, I can't. I can't even I don't even know how to play in that space. All right. Right. The space that you love to play in, though, is the grocery store. Oh, yeah. I love how you brought this up today.

I love how you brought this up today. Shit. Why didn't you say that? I'd marry the hell out of a grocery store. Sometimes you'll cheat on a grocery store with another grocery store. That is true. I go back. Luke, I sometimes go back to my old neighborhood and just dip in there. I know where everything is. I don't even need to map it out. But OK, so I was in that old grocery store, my old neighborhood grocery store, a while back when this really drove me up a wall. It's an idea that I've had for a while that I've been playing with. Then the other day I thought, this is it. This is absolutely ridiculous. I got pretty hot and bothered about it. And now I can't shake it. And I want to share it with you. And I'm really interested in hearing what our listeners have to say about this. I'm talking about the Asian food section and the Latin foods section.

Which, by the way, I noticed at the Fred Meyer yesterday are the same aisle.

Yeah, they often are. And it depends on the type of store you go to. So I want to put some boundaries around this conversation. I'm not talking about even like a Whole Foods, which is obviously a chain. And I'm certainly not talking about independent grocery stores or a store that specifically, like we had a good Latin grocery store in our neighborhood up until recently that people used to love. There's an Asian store up on Aurora that we really love. But we're not – I'm talking about like kind of generic like chain grocery stores in the United States. Here I'm talking about your QFCs, your Fred Meyers, your Fredsmeyer, your – sorry, I messed that up. Your Safe Sway. Your Q's FCs.

Your Fredsmeyer.

See, but anyway, they now will, you know, they have for a long time. They say, you know, OK, we're putting the Asian foods in this section here. Maybe it's half of an aisle, the one I'm thinking of at Safeway. And then there's like kind of Latin food, which is like a big chunk of that is just salsa anyway in that same aisle. And, you know, when you're looking for sriracha, right, sriracha is a hot sauce. It's a condiment. And you're like, oh, I'm in the condiments section. This should be here. There's there's Uncle Red's hot sauce right there. There's all kinds of hot sauces. There's Cholula. That's in the hot sauce section for some reason, not not the Latin section. But in order to go get your sriracha, you have to go to the Asian section. You're like, why would you just put that together now? That's always been on my mind a little bit. Like, why can't we just say condiments or condiments and sort the irony is that sriracha was invented in the United States? Oh, that's true, too. That is true, too. Yeah. Fontana, California. That's right. Yeah. He would immigrated to the U.S. Yes, that's true. From Vietnam, I want to say, or Cambodia, maybe one of those Southeast Asian spots. Anyway, so then but this is what really got me. So I've always sort of had this notion and you're like, OK, well, plum sauce, I guess a hoisin sauce like these are things we associate with with Asian cuisine. So I get it to a degree, but it's also sort of complicating things like is this hot sauce that I want? Is it going to be in the with the American hot sauces or the Mexican hot sauces or the Asian hot sauce? Like, can't we just put all the condiments together like we do the mustards and the ketchups and whatever? And so I was sort of curious about it. But then I was making a meal that I needed water chestnuts for. And I know in the past that they've always been in the canned food section. Yes.

Do you know that yesterday I was wandering the halls of Fred Meyer looking for water chestnuts and I was in the quote unquote Asian food section and could not find them and I was bummed. Did you then just check the canned vegetable section? I gave up because I give up easily

I'm a quitter because here's the deal They come in these smallish cans And I always find them difficult to find Because it's not like you know there's a million Kinds of beans and so it's easy to find beans Oh don't get me started on beans I'll be likely to talk till sun But you know There's not a huge demand For things like water chestnuts and they're usually Tucked away kind of somewhere but it makes Sense that they're in the section with The you know it literally says canned vegetables and it's next to the canned meats i avoid canned meats for the most part um i guess spam is the exception there but i've never actually made it myself i'm on a tangent anyway i am standing there i was standing there forever looking for it and i finally and this is something i rarely do at a grocery store because i don't like to interrupt people and sometimes it's hard to find somebody and it's like they're stocking shelves i don't want to stop that and help you i finally stopped some guy who's about to start stocking some shelves i'm like hey i can't find water chestnuts i know you're going to find them immediately uh i'm i'm pre-embarrassed to even ask you to help me find this but i've been staring at this wall forever and uh he's like oh

no problem he's it turns out he's the friendliest grocer in the world he's like this is my job to help you i'm like all right thanks i also need to wall paint it at how at the house but he didn't take me up on that but anyway he's like staring for a long time with me i feel justified we can't find he's like it might be in the asian foods so then we go over and there they are in the bottom dusty shelf of the asian food section are the water chestnuts i'm just like it's a canned vegetable and i started to like i'm like why are we why are we doing this like in a certain way i

understand why are we stigmatizing this canned vegetable to a certain quote-unquote ethnicity

yeah or even stigmatizing yeah or just like how how are we making the and also by the way this was a decision that they made at some point since i've been shopping there because i know where i used to get them and then they're like okay we're gonna move these over like one aisle like it's just like one aisle south or something but i'm like doesn't that just confuse things and this is where i'd like to listen to you know if we have listeners who mostly cook asian cuisine or something maybe it is really handy but it feels like it might be like a a carryover from a time when there were only specialty grocery stores for that kind of stuff and then it got more and more integrated into chain grocery stores and now i just sort of feel like we can integrate it within the store we shouldn't have to like ask ourselves like is this kind of hot sauce is this kind of condiment is it associated with a certain culture or can we just like kind of say like this is a melting pot and i know that the melting pot analogy is not without its flaws here in american culture but i don't know could it work in a grocery store it's so strange that we're talking

about water chestnuts are so coincidental because on sunday i mentioned uh for easter i went over to becca's brother's house and um there was all kinds of great food but one of the things that he made It was something called Biko, which is this kind of Swedish, sweet-ish, not like from Sweden, but like slightly sweet-flavored rice dish. I think it's from Japan originally, and it has water chestnut in it. And I hadn't had any water chestnut in a while, and I love it so much. And it got in my brain yesterday when I was grocery shopping. I was like, I would just eat that right out of the can if I could. And so I was wandering. I mean, it was the kind of thing that I was like, if I see it, I'm going to grab it, but I'm not going to go find, like you said, find some person. also the other thing now is i feel like most of the people that work at a grocery store are there to just take random groceries and put them in some kind of bizarro cart so that like you can everyone who's getting their groceries delivered or curbside pickup yeah curbside i guess curbside pickup as well that's a good point that's probably the majority of those folks at this point i'm guessing the whole grocery like experience is is really changed in fact i as i was standing in one of the aisles looking for something uh a woman and man walked by and she just said casually to him this is why i don't grocery shop in person anymore but it's just funny that i was also looking for water chestnuts yesterday i know your story goes back a few weeks or months but that's a very specific uh ingredient were you at the time were you making here's the only the only argument i could hear maybe for that kind of categorizing of things is if people tend to think oh hey i would like to make um like a traditionally chinese dish right and that involves water chestnuts and that involves this particular kind of plum sauce and like if they're just trying to put things near other things that might all be purchased at the same time yeah that's why that's some kind of a chinese meal well what was i making for the succulent chinese meal what is that you know the democracy manifest guy

okay keep talking i'm gonna find something for you i think i was make i was making like these these chicken lettuce wraps which i guess now that i think about it it was i've talked about these on the show before i've never set foot into a pf changs yet i make this recipe that is like a a uh what do they call it a lookalike recipe or whatever like an at-home recipe whatever you want For like, yeah, for something that is maybe famous for a restaurant. And so at one point I stumbled on these chicken wraps where it's like kind of this ground chicken with, yeah, like a very hoisin-y, yeah, kind of Asian, I guess, flavors in there. And some water chestnuts all chopped up. And it's like kind of a loose meat that you then spoon into butter lettuce cups. And they're really good. That sounds good. Oh, Christ, they're so good. And like literally no carbs, right? I don't think. Unless water chestnuts.

I mean, honestly, like if that's – yeah, that would also be an added win for that if that was how you were – Oh, they're so goddamn good. Choosing to do your thing. Let me play this for you. You don't know – I'm just shocked I haven't played this audio on the show. Maybe I haven't forgotten about it. Yeah, bad brain. But there was a – there's this piece of tape that's been going around. It's from like probably 30, 40 years ago. It was in Australia. there was a guy who was suspected to be basically like um a scam artist i don't think that i don't think identity thefts existed in the same way back then but he was some kind of a flim flammer so they thought and they finally caught up with him and he was eating he was having a chinese meal and they hauled him out of this restaurant yeah and as he's being hauled out he's like holler the news cameras are there and he's hollering to the news cameras about his Succulent Chinese meal. Take a listen. He's being pulled out by the cops.

You just assured me that I could speak.

He wants to talk to the media.

I'm under arrest. Look, I'm under what? Gentlemen, this is Democracy Manifest. Have a look at the headlock here. See that chap over there? Get your hand off my penis! This is the bloke who got me on the penis, people. Why did you do this to me? For what reason? What is the charge? Eating a meal, a succulent Chinese meal.

I forgot about the get your hand off my penis part. Isn't he the quarterback for the UW now or no? Oh, golly. That's a, yeah, Michael Penis Jr. Is he coming back? He's coming back, I think. Is he on the tracks? I don't follow that very closely. It's going to be exciting. Is it? Well, yeah, because he was extremely good last year. And usually when you've got, you know, somebody who, when you've got a quarterback who was, you know, up there in the top sort of rankings for the whole nation in terms of, like, productivity, you don't get them to come back for, like, a fifth year or senior thing. But I think he's had a lot of injuries. Who knew this was going to become a Michael Penix conversation? How are we here? conversation but um i think the thing for him might be that he'd he'd traditionally had some he'd had some injuries in his career and this last season was the first time he was able to stay healthy and he was great so maybe his advisors are saying you should play one more healthy season which will really boost your draft stock or something i don't know just i'm just speculating um speaking of food news um i don't know if you got a chance to look at this uber eats story i told you i don't read well it's the story's been out for a while that's why i thought maybe you'd what i'm what i'm reading is is a sort of an update even though this update itself is a week old so in february this is a piece from the la times by daniel miller um so back in february you had these mysterious uber eats um uh deliveries happening to people who had not ordered anything from uber eats and it started off in in westwood hills uh which is uh described by in this times piece i wasn't super familiar with wherever westwood hills is but it's kind of described in the la times as being a pretty nice kind of fancy neighborhood you know somewhere on the west side and what this daniel uh daniel miller kind of zeros in on is the difference in the way that the neighborhoods responded to getting random uber eats delivery so first it's going in this westwood hills place and then that kind of stops and then the deliveries start randomly going to highland park which has a kind of a different like artsier you know population Like a lot of my friends from L.A. moved out to Highland Park because it was relatively affordable, had good schools and stuff. And so what this writer in the Times is really breaking down is like basically these random like a one McChicken sandwich or something. I mean, these Uber Eats deliveries would show up in this fancy neighborhood and everybody was on next door. Everybody was saying it's these are these are burglars. And what they do is they send the food to your house. And then if you don't pick it up, then they rob you. And then the LAPD is like, well, we had no evidence of any robberies.

If you flash your lights, it's a gang thing. Do not look for change in a pay phone. There is a hypodermic needle in there. So it's like you got the fancy neighborhood where everyone's like bonding over how nefarious this is and how it's basically burglars or some other. like one one of the people in the fancy neighborhood asks like a police officer if they should call the fbi and report it as a cyber crime they should i hope the cop said yes and then the people in highland park are just eating the food yeah they're just like sweet like cool it's not being charged to me right yeah shamrock shake cool we'll do and like there's like a kind of wildly different response to this uh to this you know whatever event and although the The thing that's kind of interesting is, you know, the writer for The Times kind of points out that, like, in a certain way, you can even say that in the end, even the fancy neighborhood, there was a certain amount of bonding. Their version of bonding was people would become the self-appointed person to clear the bags of food. This could be like eight bags of food from different restaurants all showing up on someone's doorstep. So then someone would be the appointed person to go get the bags off of their doorstep so that the burglars didn't know that they weren't there. so this was a way it was like a love language in the rich neighborhood like hey i got all that kfc

off your porch so you won't get burgled today but wait do we even so there was like a like this is i mean do we know the cause though i mean this is so it's just there is there here is the lapd said

that they didn't have any evidence of this also uber eats denied it but i don't believe anything uber eats says one theory is that there is a scam going around when you are a food delivery driver driver where you go pick up an order and then as you pick up the order you get a call from something that says like the the caller id is uber eats and it's a person telling you that they're from uber eats and that the order has been canceled but they want to refund the money to you so they need your like account information of your uber eats deal so they it's basically a phishing scam where they and it's they've drained the accounts of a number of people who were basically just trying to drive the food and deliver it but then got a call from who they thought was the company and then gave too much personal information and then those people went and like took the money out of their account that they had earned by delivering the food so it's a

scam on the drivers am i understanding that potentially yes it would be the only there was

a few theories the burglary theory which didn't hold a lot of boy i mean like it's a pretty organized burglar and also you're already getting into kind of lost leader territory yeah exactly how much you better burgle over forty dollars yeah worth of merchandise if you already had to drop that on like a kfc meal or something but the the theory that i thought was the most you know sort of possible was this yeah basically a scam that is being perpetrated likely from outside the country on people who are doing food delivery here in the country the actual workers the food to live the gig economy people because what happens is they are tricked into thinking that there's the order so basically like an order comes in they go pick it up and as they're driving towards where they've been told to deliver it all of a sudden they get a call from who they are supposed to think is uber saying it's been canceled and we want to refund you we want to give you your money for this transaction just give us your information so we can log in and make sure that you're getting your payment and if they do that then the scammers are now in their account and are now draining their account taking their money away i see and the food is ending up on

people's steps when something slips through the cracks when they yeah exactly call in time or they don't believe the call or whatever they're just like exactly i'm just dropping this food i'm

just following the exact orders right like sometimes i mean and again if you think about these calls kind of getting generated somewhere potentially really far away probably going through some obviously like a maybe just some role like robo rolodex of numbers that are just being like spit out and let's just say the scammer misses their window and then the food just ends up getting delivered because they didn't you know the scammer didn't intervene in time or the or the driver didn't pick up the phone when it was like uber call quote-unquote uber calling sometimes drivers would show up and the entire order would be a packet of hot sauce

oh like and that would be kind of a dead giveaway yeah but i mean also but wait the driver didn't think anything about the the the packet no they did i mean i'm saying that now that wasn't that

wasn't reported in involving the westwood hills and highland park that was just other examples of times where this kind of scam is going on and sometimes drivers have shown up at restaurants And the entire order is a packet of hot sauce In a bag Which is also kind of a dead giveaway That something is amiss I just thought it was an interesting Kind of writing approach And journalistic approach By this writer To really kind of point out The different reactions From these two different neighborhoods Not that Highland Park is cheap by the way In Los Angeles anymore But it's just got a little more You know It sounds like Westwood Hills might be more like Queen Anne and Highland Park might be more like Greenwood or something.

Sure. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, listen, if this happened to me, if I ended up with a bunch of food on my porch, like I'm the wrong person to like kind of take advantage of that. I'm such a picky eater. I probably wouldn't. You know, it's like, oh, well, there's these are tacos with sour cream and cheese on them or burrito with sour cream and cheese or something like I probably wouldn't want it. anyway but let's just assume that like i wasn't so picky or or somebody more like you like what do you do in that situation luke if a bunch of random food shows up at your door i mean are you just like hey cool free food or is it like i'm in my mid-40s i don't know the origins of this food i will just go out and buy my own food and i'll dump this like what what do you do in this situation assuming that you didn't live in a walk-up apartment well i i wouldn't be in any

way worried about the food safety aspect of it for me it would totally depend on what time of day it was yeah so because i i don't i don't usually eat a ton of food during the daytime if if like right now and also there's like i i don't eat a ton of meat either although i do eat some meat i had some turkey at easter i'm definitely i had a i had a turkey sandwich with camaro kev the other night so i'm i i i went from being a like a not really a vegetarian to definitely not a practicing vegetarian although it's still it's still not a regular occurrence for me but anyway like if a if a bunch of food showed up and it was eight o'clock at night or if it was seven o'clock at night and i hadn't really eaten yet i would totally eat it if it was stuff you know that like if man you know what i really love it's so terrible but like kfc mashed potatoes oh yeah

you've told me about that i think i've had them before i'm not a big fan they're like the powdered

ones right i mean i assume so like they're definitely not high quality but they got this gravy on them it's just like one of those it's not defensible from a culinary standpoint it's just comforting for some reason it just tastes like you know i don't know being being the 15 year old kid and it's like the after basketball or something you know we'll stop at the kfc or

whatever i could totally see that i think it's just because i didn't grow up with them that that is not like one of those types of foods that scratches that itch for me but i would i mean if

it were stuff that i eat and it were a time of day that i eat i love that you're the picky one but i'm like if it was within my feeding window yeah um which i believe is literally what they call it which is very good is it really yeah i mean i've heard it described as your feeding window so like if you're intermittent fasting until four and then you're eating from four to eight they might call that your feeding window which is like is this is this a life that we're living is this the life we want to live but um if it were in my feeding window andrew and it were stuff you know that i tend to eat i would absolutely eat it without any compunction i think

my thing would be i would be worried that it's a mistake and that i'm sort of like eating my neighbor's food like my instinct i think would be like well let's set it aside let's just assume that i would want to eat it which is a pretty big if um i think i'd be worried that i would be like okay i'm gonna tuck into this right now and then there's gonna be a knock on my door and be like hey is there any chance that the uber eats person delivered my food to your house and i'm just like wiping ketchup off of my beard like no um i like so i feel like i'd want to set it aside from a little bit just to make sure that nobody comes knocking um but then i stole someone's shopping

cart yesterday what do you mean i mean i'm standing in the aisle i'm probably when i was looking around for water chestnuts and i just lost track of where my cart was and i grabbed some i think it was cans of green beans or something and then put them in my cart and pushed my cart along and then i got some paper towels and i put those in my cart and then i looked down i noticed there was this odd kind of box in the like upper area you know like where a kid could ride in the shopping cart like a cardboard box that had had like certain stuff in it and i was like oh i didn't that must have fallen into my cart and then i look into the cart and i realize it's none of it in there is the stuff that i was buying and i was like two aisles over don't you feel like we were

talking um a couple of weeks ago about sort of feeling violated when you feel like somebody's messed with your car in some way or if you're in your car and somebody like taps it or something like that you feel like i don't know there's just like something very instinctive about like don't you mess with my car um i one time grabbed somebody's cart i think and almost started to push it or something and i realized my mistake and i was like oh my god like i just wanted to be like find the person and tell them i am not that person i wasn't trying to steal your cart it's like this this doesn't belong to anybody right now except for the grocery store anyway like i don't but i had like an oversized reaction to almost imagine you're two aisles away when you

realize it then i had to push the cart back and i was rehearsing this whole speech in my head like i am so sorry i was not trying to steal your stuff and i i returned the cart to roughly where i thought it was and then because i could see where my cart was i got my paper towels and my green beans i put them in my cart and no one no one seemed there wasn't somebody running around going

my child my child the fact that there's a child in the cart it was probably that should have been that honestly should have been my first indication that it probably wasn't my cart yeah huh um yeah i wonder if it was a sting

Well, I got stung because I totally stole the car. I guess maybe I brought it back in the nick of time. Yeah, exactly. They didn't nab you.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, we didn't get to Tupperware, but we can talk about it tomorrow.

Okay, that sounds good. I am going to play for you a... Do we have time for one or two voicemails here?

Let's do two.

All right, good. I'm going to play for you a couple of voicemails here. Both of them involve awkward interactions. This one is from listener Chris. I think Chris sets this up fine, so I don't need to repeat this and run into some copy echo here, as we like to say, Luke. But basically, Chris is responding to a brief conversation we had the other day about that moment in some church services where you greet your fellow parishioners. Growing up Catholic, that was when we would like kind of turn and shake the hands of the people around us, whether we knew them or not. And we would say, peace be with you. This is Chris's story.

Hey, dummies. This is Chris from Reno. Now, on one of the Spanx episodes, you were talking about greeting people at church, and I have a story. I was living in Colorado with my wife, and we were going to this church, and it was greeting time at church, and I turn around to greet this gentleman, and he looks at me, shakes my hand, and says, What's up, dude? My name's Spice. and in my head i'm thinking this guy is joking so i very quickly say what's up dude my name's viper as a joke and he looks at me with this puzzled look and he says is that is that your real name and i kind of stopped and stuttered for a second and i said oh uh no i was just joking My name's Chris. And we sat back down, and my wife looked at me, and I said, did you hear that? And she shook her head in disgrace. And at the end of the service, he gives me his card, and his last name is Spiceman. I mean, come on, man. Spike.

Just use her real name.

Anyway.

Right.

But he thought he said Spike, right? No, he said Spice. Love the show.

Thanks. He said Spice in his story. You see, this guy turns to him and says, hi, my name's Spice. And then Chris said, oh, mine's Viper.

I thought the guy's name was Spike, because that also would have worked with Viper.

Right. I was trying to figure out. I thought it was like a Spice Man and Viper. So I thought it was a Top Gun thing or something. But I think Chris was just like, oh, you're Spice? OK, great. I'm Viper, which, by the way, good name. I also, and I hope this isn't an insult, but like I love that Chris's name is such a common name that it doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles or flourish to it. It's Chris, you know? and so it's like wait your name's really viper no it's chris like there's something about that that i especially love um but also this person then is giving away his business card at the end of the service that's interesting to me too who's who's doing that well i guess the spice i have

i've told this story before but probably the most embarrassing thing that happened for me at church was when i was pretty little and somebody from our church who i really liked by the way who i thought was really cool a woman named esther panetta came up and put her hands over my eyes from behind and said guess who and i said esther and she goes how did you know and i should have just said lucky guess but i was like trying to explain to her that people have and it's not a bad thing but some different people have different they're kind of like a a scent you know like based on the detergent they use based on the hair product based on their skin routine whatever it is and I knew what her smell was. Again, I may have even had like a nascent crush on this woman. She was relatively young. She was really outgoing, very sort of cute.

So you're like kind of a tween and maybe she's in her 20s. Not even a tween. I'm probably like 8 or 10.

Well, 10 would be a tween, I guess.

But she's a young adult.

She's probably 25. She might have been 75 in terms of like anyone over 20 seemed very grown up to me. But it was just and, you know, there was nothing malodorous about her at all. It was just I had been around her a lot. I'd gone to church with her every Sunday and I knew just kind of her scent profile. But basically, like when I told her, I knew it was you because of your smell. Yeah. Did not go over great.

Yeah.

And then the more I tried to explain it, the deeper I should have told her that my name was Viper.

You should. And you didn't like just turn around by saying, but you don't understand. I want to get with that stank.

Right. You didn't say that. That's what I would do now. I would turn it into an ask.

Sure, because that's how – and all –

So that's how we talk. All right. I have another.

And also with you. Stay with you. And also with you.

I have another awkward interaction here. Now, this is a voicemail that I listened to early this morning and it's kind of been in my head all day. The way listener Ian says, I don't know, man, in his retelling of this encounter in an airport men's restroom. All right.

Just starting right there.

It has me laughing. You've got problems. I keep saying to myself all morning, I don't know, man. Take a listen to this. This is in reaction to you seeing somebody in public, I believe down in L.A., but you saw somebody in Los Angeles who was wearing a Seattle Mariners hat. And you, being a fellow Mariners fan, but was not wearing any kind of Mariners gear, I don't believe, you just said, go Mariners. And then I think you said how you think they're going to do or something, right? Didn't you? Yeah. I passed him twice. That was the thing.

I passed him on my way to the laundromat and on my way back. And it was the second time that I felt, well, this is Providence. This is the universe telling me to talk to this guy about the Mariners.

And I counseled you in the future just to give a like a if you want to do that, because, again, you're in a city where that team doesn't play. So I understand this desire to want to kind of like connect with that other fan. But I would like stick with a like with a Go Mariners or something like that or a Go M's as opposed to actually starting with a question, which you did, which was like, how do you think they're going to be this year? And I think the guy just sort of looked at you askance like he had no idea what you were talking about.

No, it wasn't quite that bad. He just didn't have – he didn't rush right in with, well, if Ray can really develop his third pitch, then he'll be able to get out of some of those high-leverage situations. That's what I was looking for, and that's not what I got.

That's not what you got. Here's Ian's story.

Hey, guys. It's Ian in Seattle, formerly Ian in Tacoma. I was listening to the show last week, and I was reminded of a story when Luke was mentioning walking past the guy with the Mariners hat in L.A. um about six seven years ago i was going to a conference from seattle to san diego get off the flight um i'm wearing one of the old school gold trident uh mariner's hats gold and blue love it i walk into the bathroom and you know i'm doing my business the urinal and somebody leans over to me he goes hey man how do you think the brew crew are gonna do this year and I look at him and I just go I don't know man and then I walk back and I talk to my friend who's at the conference with me he goes oh we met the Brewers and I said the logos don't even look the same and he responds well the trident kind of looks like the Brewers glove anyway not saying that's what happened to Luke I'm sure it was a Mariner's hat but I had been on the other side of that It's a weird experience, especially in the men's bathroom in the San Diego airport. Love the show, guys. Thanks.

I don't know, man. I love thinking about this story from the perspective of the guy who was just looking to bro down and like to have like to hear this reaction.

I don't know, man.

To hear that reaction. I just feel like that Brewers fan is like walking around just being like, I just met the grumpiest fellow brew crew fan.

And think about, I mean, if it was any other team, there would be so much less confusion. I feel like the fact that they are called the Brew Crew while you're standing at a urinal is just an added layer.

I think I learned that with this voicemail, by the way.

Oh, you didn't know they called them the Brew Crew?

I don't know anything about the Brewers, really.

Well, I believe, I bring up Bud Seelig on the show far too much for a show that's not allegedly about baseball commissioners. from the 90s but i think he might have been like the president of the brewers oh okay and then moved on to being the president or whatever you know in charge of mlb but like the brewers used to have a pretty solid center fielder named robin yount which i thought was a weird last name to have so i probably would have been like i don't know man is you healthy this year that would be my go-to brew crew response but it's like if he said how do you think the dodgers are going to do this year you might be confused but you would i don't know something about the brew crew yeah and

And you're not in Milwaukee, you know, you're on the West Coast in San Diego, like you're in the restroom, you're wearing a Mariner's hat, and somebody just randomly says, how do you think the brew crew's going to do this year?

I don't know, man.

You need to send that to me, because we'll put that in the cannon. I love it so much.

So there it is. Woomp, there it is.

Woomp, there it is. I don't think I was offering a lot of good content today, but I do think I was offering it with a lot of energy. and speed so you're welcome or i'm well we look forward to your tupperware your tupperware takes

tomorrow because i do feel i feel like you've got tupperware takes yes i do i think i will i need to read we may already have tomorrow's show title tupperware takes all right thanks for listening

everybody uh we'll be back

Tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you. Until then, have a spectacular Tuesday. It stopped raining here in Portland.

Oh, it's beautiful outside my window right now.

I just finished this arc. Now I don't even need it. You don't need it. Don't forget the unicorns. Head on back out. All right, we'll see you tomorrow. Until then, please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

and i look at him and i just go i don't know man power out