Muse

You're not gonna believe this, Barney? I forgot Wilma's birthday last week. Uh-oh, Fred. So I bought her a new necklace. They were having a 50% off sale. But I left the price tag on, so now Wilma's saying I'm taking her for granite.

Uh-oh, Fred.

Now she's saying she wants a divorce I guess you could say She wants a clean slate

Fred? She wants sole custody Fred? I guess it's up for the courts to decide TBTL

this canadian wrapped jump man jump man them boys up to something oh i think i need some

oh he's hilarious dog who is rick moranis i've never never like chased a guy across a crowded

city square i've never i've never hung on to that part of the helicopter you know that part underneath the thing where it lands do you do you know yes i know that i've never hung on to that I just feel like I'm excited and I feel relaxed and I'm ready to party with the best of them.

Do you believe that?

I do if you do.

But it's absurd. Okay, are we done with the business part? I wanted to start the clown portion of the meeting. All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL,

the show that just might be too beautiful to live let us throw caution to the wind my name is luke

burbank i am your host hi i'm luke your security sidekick for the course coming to you from the river house studio perched high above the mighty columbia river where it is absolutely freezing oh ma pa it's just cold as ice i was taking the uh the garbage up the road to where they pick it up because that's what happens out here in the rurals and um my hands felt like they were blocks of ice by the time i got back from this like four minute journey and it is i will remind everyone april the 18th it's tax day boy i'll tell you what and this is i'm not going to go into some sort of anti irs rant believe in taxes i believe in all of us paying our fair share but you want to talk about efficient government programs if you owe those folks uh some money as i did this year and you sign up for them to automatically deduct it from your bank account they do not sleep on that like i think about 1201 a.m this morning the money whiffed whiffed right out of my account like that is the one part of our federal government that is very very efficient and very much delivers on their promise of of getting their favorite part was when i gave them the money. My favorite part of today is episode 3925 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Which is where we find ourselves. Oh my goodness. That means we are 74 episodes away from our 4,000th episode in a collector's series. Unbelievable. And we've got some good top stories today for you, including an update on the story of the Dairy Queen in Arizona where some folks stole the big plastic spoon. I mean, I don't think it's actually plastic. It's probably metal. Made it look like plastic off the side of the Dairy Queen. And we've got an update on what's going on with that spoon.

Can you verify? Can you give me some 411?

Also, there is an international shortage of the liqueur chartreuse.

You scare me. You're an alcoholic.

which has an incredible backstory involving an order of monks in France and also a bar in Seattle. It's all tied together. We'll talk chartreuse coming up. And I have a theory about Chinese restaurants.

A succulent Chinese meal.

And when you know you are about to have a succulent Chinese meal, I put the theory into action last night and I was not wrong. LB for the win So we'll talk about that And we'll talk to this guy The longest running co-bro of the show Maybe best known for his depictions Now that we are going independent starting July 3rd, I've asked him to just stay incredibly positive right at the top of the show. In case you're wondering what's going on here, I'm having an absolutely fabulous time. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Something happened to me this morning that I was wondering if I should tell you about. I'll try to make this quick, but it's sort of, I almost want to say it was my worst nightmare. That's not the case.

Andrew, remember our talk about keeping it positive? We're still trying to bounce back from the darkest Fred Flintstone timeline. I know you ran that by me and I laughed. I literally lulled when I played it yesterday. So we both signed off on it. But man, hearing it in context as we start the show, I think it's making APM less sad that we're going independent is what I'm thinking.

Well, I guess it's up for the Quartz to decide. The Quartz. The one thing that I don't understand about that is all of those, like, he says shale instead of sail. He says clean slate. Like, the point of granite instead of granite. The whole point is it's all rocks and stone. That's the point of that. But I don't get it when he says she wants sole custody because sole is a fish. It's not a rock, right?

No, but soul is also an actual term for if you're going to have the kids and your partner is not going to have them.

Well, yeah, I know. But what is the rock pun? Every one of those is a rock pun. Shell, quartz, granite. But then he has this one line that doesn't seem to follow the rest. And I'm trying to figure out if I understand what soul custody is. You're talking to a child of divorce. But I just don't know if that's a play on words.

Did he talk about positivity, Andrew, at the top of the show?

Did he just choose to not use that? I just wasn't sure if I'm missing what soul means.

What could even work there, I wonder? No, I don't think you're missing it. But I'm wondering if it just was one of those things that didn't lend itself to mineral-based humor. Because what could you use instead of soul custody? She wants...

I don't know. But that's why I feel like I'm that's I feel like I'm missing the joke there, because every single time Fred talks, there's a pun in there except for this one thing. Unless it's just like the joke is he is sort of he's faltering on his wordplay because things just got his life falling apart. We should. That's from TikTok. Yes, that that is somebody who goes by the handle. Some guy, Mark, some guy, Mark on TikTok. And he's got a whole bunch of funny videos where he's doing impressions.

So if you're feeling sad about our intro tape today, it's some guy Mark's fault.

That's right. I found it pretty funny. I honestly, I sent that to you yesterday. I'm like, I don't know if this is intro tape. Like, all I know is I think what happens is somebody will send me a TikTok. Nobody sent me that one. But then once you're in TikTok, TikTok doesn't want you to get out of TikTok. So it keeps on suggesting things. You're like, I'm done with this app now. It's like, yeah, but you want one more video? You're like, well, one more. But then I'm done. And then it just keeps on feeding you shit. and sometimes i just like i get caught on one and i just get mesmerized i'm like because at first i'm just like is this funny or not so then you watch it it's like the album yeezy the first time i heard it i'm like the fook what is this and then and then um i'm gonna steal that joke from somebody on comedy bang bang but um and then i'm like well i'm gonna listen again that wasn't good right and i listened again and then it becomes like my favorite kanye record when i still listen to

I sent you this yesterday, but the thing that I just absolutely cannot stop watching is from some documentary from the late 70s called Welcome to Spivey's Corner. Oh, are you covering kind of I feel like I can I can play it here to contextualize it and then it can become canon. Am I am I am I stealing the intro tape Thunder by playing?

No, that's OK. I will probably lay off on using that. But no, go ahead and do it. But also, we never heard, you know, people are dying to hear about my worst nightmare coming true today.

Okay, well, we're not going to forget. Your worst nightmare is me ruining your intro tape by playing this. So this is just on the subject of something that I have been mesmerized on TikTok and have just let play over and over again. This would definitely fit that description. it's from North Carolina a place called Spivey's Corner which is listed as being population 49 and they get together for the national hollerin contest this would have been again back in the late 70s and there's something about the setup from this woman about this song that she's about to sing and then what the I would say the deliverables on the song and the contrast between those two things that just absolutely slays me for some reason

I've got this song that I holler to, and it is entitled, Somebody Loves Me, and it goes like this.

It's titled

somebody loves me i know i am just mesmerized by that that's her song somebody loves me and then it's that it's that sort of holler which you know clearly is some sort of cultural thing down there in north carolina in late 70s folks doing that but i i genuinely kind of love that song but i kind of

can't believe it's called somebody loves me right and and she hollers at it um that reminds me and genevieve's in a on a call right now so i don't think she can jump in here and tell this story better but we have a sort of in inside joke that we'll refer to quite a bit we were at some sort of a german beer festival right like and i think we're visiting my folks in ohio many years ago now and it's like hey we have a free day like let's go to this you know what do you call that it's not a sausage fest but you know beer garden october fest i think it was an october fest thing yeah and so um don't miss the october fest and so we're there and there's uh you know all kinds of stuff going on various kinds of arts and craft things and competitions whatever and what is the big long horn that is sometimes played in these contexts i think like it's called the recola horn right thank you okay so you did go to college then okay good so anyway there was i don't know what that's called people were doing um i think it was just a demonstration and there was a young woman there i'm gonna put her maybe in her late teens early 20s or something and she's Alphorn. Okay, and so she's doing some sort of Alphorn presentation, and so people are just sort of...

By the way, don't Google Alphorn. No, and don't... Do Google... Don't get some real... Some Gordon Shumway you can't unsee.

I was going to say, do Google Alphorn. Yes, that's... But, oh, God, you know that exists. Shit, that's... God, you know that exists. Damn it.

Ugh.

What was I saying?

Really? I don't have money for this pizza. Why did it turn into Bobcat Goldthwait? It's because I've heard you. That's my impression of your impression of Alf when you say Willie, which is pretty good. So my impression of you saying Willie was not great, but it was tolerable. Then when I tried to go into the I can't pay for this pizza, it got real Bobcat Goldthwait real fast.

Anyway, this young woman is giving a presentation on her Alphorn, but she's talking. She's giving a little introduction to it. And she says something along the lines of, now, this next tune I performed at, like, the such-and-such, you know, Alphorn competition in so-and-so state or whatever. And it was a little controversial. I love it. And it's just like, and Vince and I just look at each other and we're just like, oh, yeah. I mean, it's exactly the same thing that that folk song you just played is. It's just like, oh, well, of course that would be controversial. It sounds like every other note you've played so far. I do not understand why it was a little controversial. Like, I don't know if it was a remix of a Beyonce song and I just didn't quite pick it up or what.

Oh, I see. So maybe it was a cover. It was an Alporn cover of something.

It just sounded like farts. I don't know.

that's great i would love love love for somebody to track down that person and figure out why it

was a little controversial a little controversial um okay what is your worst nightmare come true so i'm it's not my worst nightmare but it is something that like i consider myself somebody who is always imagining the worst case scenario and therefore you know this better than anybody else luke that i will kind of well i like to think it's not necessarily catastrophizing it's more like it makes me more um more liable to do a bunch of prep that maybe somebody like you would skip so here's the perfect example i'm feeding my friends cat this week they're out of town for a couple of days and they have a home burglary alarm right now these things have made me nervous my entire life

were texting me from canada yesterday trying to figure out how to watch the mariners actually I'm sorry, can I, quick interjection Very quickly I'm on a random text chain Yesterday from The person in question, can we, are you not mentioning Yeah, let's not tell people You don't want them to burgle Carnegie Hall

Although everybody knows that they have a burglar alarm now But no, yeah, let's leave their names out of it

Okay, so the person, our friend, our mutual friend text me and my former wife, Carrie Burbank, and says, how do you watch the Mariners game Canada? Pretty out of the blue. And Carrie responds with, sorry, this is how you do it. And then it's just this video of John Stamos playing with the Beach Boys and Mike Love, because that's an inside joke that me and Carrie and this other person share. A distaste for Mike Love's Version of the Beach Boys And then this person says Oh, I didn't mean to text that to you I was trying to Google it

Oh, that makes more sense

They were trying to Google how to watch Mariner's Canada But just randomly Me and my former wife Get a text, how to watch Mariner Games Canada And I love that she was Game for trying, well not really She was game for making a joke about the Beach Boys But that was really out of the blue

Well, now I wish said friend had just hit me up. I have several links that I could have provided.

You're the Google of slightly extra legal baseball content.

And legal. I was trying to hook you up with some radio broadcast the other day and just letting you know about it.

I know, but I have it on, I pay, I over, well, actually, I don't currently, but I historically have overpaid for Sirius Satellite Radio to have it.

But didn't you say that you wanted to listen to the pregame show and they don't have it on that? Yes, and that was helpful. I appreciate that. Anyway.

I love you sent me a graphic showing me where they were hiding the X.

Yeah, there's this there's a it's totally legal. I mean, it's there's a there's a radio. There's an app that you can put on your phone so that you can listen to most radio stations around the country. It's called like tune in radio or something. And that's how I sometimes listen to 710, the local sports station, when I want to hear a baseball game, because unlike this, unlike the NFL games, they don't block it out on streaming. like if you tried to listen to a Seahawks game via the local broadcast you'd be blocked out but on tune in they let the baseball games play and I think that's fine but for some reason I've told several people about this and they're like I don't want to pay for it I'm like why does everybody think this is a pay service and it's because they when you open the app it opens with this big splash page that makes it seem like the whole thing is a pay service and way up in the right

right picture of Sean Hannity yeah like it's no bueno Sean Hannity is like it's like hidden in

the little white area of his hair above his ears is a little x you can x out of and it's very

tricky but anyway i have it open here i'm going to see if i can make it play this is uh they're

doing a day game today this is the audio um see i hate it when rick does this thing where he's just ripping off dave knee house which is i mean that's such a that's something that dave knee house always did and it was kind of grand salami time yeah exactly i know you have now

of rick out there going you know they say hollering doesn't impact for a day but for a lifetime what's the name of the song again i i love you it's called somebody to love me i think

somebody loves me let's just say sorry i've got this song that i holler to and the time it is

entitled somebody loves me okay now sorry you're at our friends you're burgling carnegie hall trying to feed our friend's cat and what's happening so here's the deal like and this is

what I mean by like I always assume the worst in a scenario so therefore I usually kind of spend extra time to avoid the worst even though I think I go to measures sometimes that I probably don't have to go to go through and in this case these are friends who we often feed their cats like I finally have their you know burglar alarm code memorized and also I have been doing it the past couple of days so like I've been going in there now every other time that I've gone into their house, I pull out my phone and I look at my little notes app where I have it written down on how to what the code is. And I'm like, I know what the code is, but just look at it again because your brain is bad and you might forget it. And today, for the first time in history, I'm like, you don't have to look it up. You know the code. You were just here 12 hours ago. The code hasn't changed. So I go in their house. I unlock the door. I go in. The alarm starts beeping at me. I punch in the number nothing it just starts beeping faster it's like one of those it's like one of those moves where you're trying to diffuse the blue wire or red wire yes and now suddenly it's going faster now i'm start i start freaking out so i pull out my phone and of course it's not actually i kind of lie i don't keep it in a notes app i texted it to myself a while back and i always find that text message but that text message is getting further and further buried and now i have this exact same problem now i'm in panic mode and so now i'm pulling out my text i'm looking for my own name in my phone because i texted it to myself and i'm scrolling backwards i know okay 60 seconds has now become i know i'm down to 30 seconds 20 seconds i don't even know if it's a full 60 it went by so quickly it maybe only have 30 seconds to disarm it and then i and then i'm looking forward and then all of a sudden, boop, boop. I mean...

As loud as you could possibly be around 8.15, 8.30 in the morning. In fact, we have a listener who lives very near these folks, and I'm wondering if she heard this this morning. I'm guessing she did. And I heard some commotion. There are some shared walls in this home for other people who live nearby. And I heard people kind of running downstairs as I'm panicking, trying to turn this thing off. I'm going to say that loud alarm sound went off for probably about 20 seconds. I get to the code. It's exactly what I thought it was. I don't know what I did wrong. I didn't. I mean, I had the right numbers in my head. Maybe I just punched them in wrong in the pad. And I don't know. But it was like the one Luke, I swear to God, I've done this dozens of times, dozens. And the one time I didn't pull out my phone just to be super, super anal about it. Literally, I woke up the neighborhood with the loudest alarm I've ever heard in my life. And it scared the hell out of me.

To avoid the worst, you've got to fear the worst, Andrew. That's what Don O'Neill always says, yes. Yep, exactly. So I guess lesson learned. So when you go over there tomorrow, I assume you're staring at your phone. Even though you now know that you had the correct code the first time, you will look at your phone because of some sort of, like, avoiding the bad grigri?

I'm not going back there tomorrow. Oh, really? No, they're coming back this afternoon, so it's all done anyway. Yeah, but also, but yeah, I would probably just now I'll now just look at my phone all the time. Next time you do it, you will look at your phone. But the weird thing is, though, the problem was not that I had the wrong numbers. The problem was maybe I was in my head about being like being such a John Wayne cowboy about things this morning that in my I don't know, maybe I just hit the wrong number. Like, I don't understand how I would have just hit the wrong number, though. But clearly, that's what happened to start calling you the Duke. That is why I asked you to start calling me the Duke, the double Duke. Yeah, Dukes. Double Dukes

Okay, we should take a break here Because what I would really like to do Is tell you a story Of a lost wallet yesterday, Andrew That ended in a very For me, an event that made me More happy than it should have But if I start telling you the story right now We'll blow right through nap time So let's do this, quick break And then we'll thank some dazzling donors And then we will do more TBTL In a moment, stay with us

On your mark, get set Get set Now ready Ready Go Everybody rattle

Dazzle Everybody rattle

Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors Everybody rattle These generous, kind-hearted people are hollering at us with some money every month And that is how we're able to keep doing the program And this is a great time, Andrew, to remind everyone that there is a new TBTL newsletter that will help you stay in touch with us and us stay in touch with you and will help let everyone know if you are donating to the program how you can continue donating to the program after July 3rd because your donations are going to automatically end June 30th 8pm we'll be shutting that down and we will be hoping to start it up at a different location so go to tbtl.net there is a button that says extra extra that is how you link up with the new tbtl email list We have we are we have re-signed up about what a fifth of the number of people who were on the original list. So we would love we would love to repopulate the new list to at least the degree of the old list.

Yeah, exactly. About a fifth, maybe a little bit less. And honestly, now that I'm thinking about it, when we were testing the system, I think I inputted about three different email addresses for myself. So it's actually less than. And so, yeah, I mean, that's two that are just I mean, and I don't know if I think it's pretty obvious what has to happen.

Everyone who is on the list needs to increase their donation five times this year. Exactly, exactly. It's just simple math.

But if you're already receiving the TBTL newsletter via the old method, we'll continue to send that out for the next couple of months, and I will continue to include information there about how you can transfer over to the new email feed when the time comes. But, yeah, that's going to be really important for folks like Wes Plate, who was a dazzling donor last year. Luke, how do you like that transition?

That was great. Thank you for leading me into the discussion of Wes Plate of Everett, Washington's deep and abiding generosity. Wes says, indoor plants have really gained attention in the last couple of years, and my fiancé and her sister's love of plants led them to start an online indoor plant shop called Smarty Plants. That's a good name.

Smarty Plants dance. Smarty Plants dance.

I do think we probably get a cut of that Since clearly they named it after that TBTL drop, that's fine, we'll work that out later Please support my Eleven's woman-owned Small business by visiting SmartyPlants at www.

smartyplantsstore.com and follow them on social media. One more time, that's smartyplants at www.smartyplantsstore.com Power out. That's a great idea for a store and a great name for a plant store.

Indeed, and Wes also says in addition to online web sales, they also have sales at weekend markets in the Pacific Northwest. So if you're up in this area, you can find them there as well. But again, going to that website is going to probably let you know where they are i'm just looking up smarty plants right now i

i'm so far from getting to the point where i can think about plants and interior design and things like that here at this project um but i do i'm i'm very intrigued by this by the rise of of plant culture and indoor plants and i was i forget i was listening to some podcast that's oh maybe it was the um maybe it was 99 invisible or or one of those ones and they were talking about how back in the like um early 1900s indoor plants had a whole thing people were obsessed with them was a really big deal to have indoor plants then kind of went away for a while and now it is very much back so if you're looking for some indoor plants reach on out to smartyplantsstore.com

i'm gonna need to do that because do you i don't think we've talked about this but i have a real issue in my house yeah we have a whole shelf of plants that get great light in this house like kind of perfect like non-direct sunlight in this house it was we actually had some of the healthiest indoor plants that we've had uh since we moved in here a year ago but then and our older cat doesn't care about eating plants but now what we've essentially created for our younger cat is what i refer to as the salad bar because he's just going up there and chewing on all of our bubblegum plants which i know they're called bubblegum plants how is he supposed to know and destroying those so I'm constantly I have something now so not only do I now have the thing I call the salad bar over where our plants are kept but I now have the plant hospital which is just the little like windowsill above the kitchen sink where he can't get to so easily he knocked over I had this really cool plant that was grown from a clipping that my friend gave me a couple of years ago and I haven't seen my friend in a long time and it's like I don't know if you're like that Luke but like I love the fact that my friend gave me this plant from a clipping i think of him every time i water it like it's one of those things i woke up the other day it's on the floor and it's nothing but a couple of stems and i have that in plant hospital now seeing if i can get it to yeah grow again i owe becca like an entire

you know smartyplantstore.com inventory because when bubbles is over there it's just mayhem by the way if you do go to the website and you're looking for a ficus triangularis variegata they are sold out currently, but they will be restocking

those. I was just noticing that. But that's okay.

They'll be back. But they have tons of Anthurium Pterodactyl. So, you know. Ah! Ah! I'm sorry? That was a pretty good... Is that the doorbell telling you Mr. Slate Rock is here? Barney!

On your mark! On your mark! Get set! Get set! Now ready! Ready! Go! Everybody rattle, dattle!

We also need to thank dazzling donor Joe Lamb. Joe. Of Mesa, Arizona. Arizona. Joe says, I don't have anything witty. I already said that today, and I felt like I was. First of all, I'm not criticizing you. I'm criticizing myself for lack of imagination, because what I'm starting to do, Andrew, is just speak in Matt Berry language, including this new drop that I'm excited about.

Let us throw Gaussian to the wind.

So now when Arizona comes up, I say Arizona, which is a complete Matt Barry ripoff. And I feel like I can only rip them off so much in the same episode. But I don't have anything better to say about Mesa, Arizona.

Yes. Now, Mesa, I've spent some time in Mesa. I have family in Mesa. It is its gateway to spring training, right? Where's the Peoria is where the spring training is for the for the Mariners. But Mesa is not not too far away from that.

yeah i they must have just played in mesa occasionally when i was a kid too in the cactus league because i remember listening to spring training and hearing mesa thrown around but i don't think that was ever i don't think that was ever their headquarters but i think they must have like gone and played the whomever that was based in mesa i could see that yep we should do that again next year that was that was a that was a certified blast when we went down for

spring trainings those many years ago i know i just ran into this is this isn't for the listeners this is for you luke i was at the ball game on saturday and i um coincidentally just ran into our old friend jessamine who we used to work with over at the 710 espn sure um and we were hanging out i hadn't seen her in years since pre-pandemic and i was very flattered when i said we're just talking about the perks of of media jobs because she was there doing some really cool work and uh i had said you know one of the coolest things was when we and i said oh we actually ran into you there luke and i did a couple of podcasts from the media booth at spring training she said she said without missing a beat 2017 i was like how the hell do you remember that well she's like it was it was so much fun she's like you guys

Because that was the year they banned alcohol in the press box.

Yeah, because of us, exactly. Because of us. Exactly. Yeah, no, that was a great, great time. I'd love to do that again next year.

That was super fun. Yep. Absolutely. Well, Joe's down there in Arizona. See, now enough time has gone by that I can resurface that joke. Heart idol. Joe says, I don't have anything witty or heartfelt to share, so feel free to come up with something. Thanks for another year of hashtag content. We just did. Yep, we already did it. that amazing anecdote about me running into somebody you don't know jessamine mcintyre and us getting who was it somebody from the mariners organization it was it wasn't like rick riz or

something but well that was a narrative that we create we created the narrative that that he probably ratted us out i don't have evidence of that but i'm guessing it but also we can't say

it didn't happen but who was it who took us aside it was whoever your contact i don't think it was

greg with the mariners but whoever your contact was there who was arranging everything for us and made sure that we had a media booth because again it's ridiculous like we had a media booth so that we could record a podcast that we would post an hour or two after the game like it just didn't make love doing this it just didn't make any sense but somehow you were able to finagle

us into this which is great and then finagle us out of it by bringing alcohol yeah and then so

we were having fun we were drinking beer in there we were having we were eating hot dogs we were doing the podcast i believe was it me you or carrie somebody got mustard all down the front of our clothes i remember somebody had a mustard incident i remember that your burps reeked of hot dogs what is a hot dog bowl um and then the next day you checked in with whoever your contact was and just said hey are we all set for the booth again and that contact said to you yes but just a reminder that there is no alcohol in the press booth this is a professional atmosphere or something along those lines i'm back to thinking it was rico riz rico not who told you but who told on us

who ratted us out on us because like again who would care if we were having a you know if we were having a couple of beers with our big old hot dog bowl with our big old hot dog bowl it's just like a bowl with the hot dogs cut up in it that's not even from i think you should leave because it's tim robinson it has uh it's blended in my mind into that anyway joe thank you for your support if we do get back down there for any reason down to the nope Florida's the Sunshine State what is Arizona what is their Arizona Grand Canyon

State maybe grapefruit state Arizona Grand Canyon State probably

right really you're right

that doesn't I don't that's not what you've heard no no no no I'm not saying that and I just don't want to disrespect Joe's dazzling donor message I like Arizona and like I say I have family there my grandma lives there when she was still staying in living on her own she had a grapefruit tree in her tiny little plot of land that she you know

what I want to apologize for for being so quick to disagree with you the only reason that I did that and I apologize is because the spring training for East Coast teams is in Florida And it's called the Grapefruit League And the Cactus League is Arizona And so I was just like It can't be grapefruits because that's for the Yankees But that of course does not That does not define what kind of fruit grows In what state

It's just amazing how That imprinted on me Like this was when I visited my grandma there This is going back 15 or 20 years At the very least The first time I visited her there I You know again she lived in a trailer In a little trailer park very very small plot of land and but on that plot of land was a grapefruit tree and she would just go out there and grab a grapefruit and eat it and i was just like is this paradise is this real life like the idea of a cold climate yes it was fascinating i remember when i first was living

in la and and had got this bought this house in echo park and there was just a lime tree in the yard and i remember walking out there one day and pulling a lime off of the tree and walking inside and cutting the lime up and using it for something and just thinking free limes i mean i can't afford not to live here like there's something about citrus being available exactly for free in your yard that if you come from a colder climate is just mind-blowing i promise you i was not starting

this conversation because i was going to try to somehow be right i was clearly just mistaken And I was going to say that I'm not a huge fan. of that the Grand Canyon state it just doesn't seem like a great nickname it sounds like hey we have the Grand Canyon and the Grand Canyon by the way is grand like I would if that was in my state

that you got freaked out and that's right to walk less close to its edge I believe but I was like

but I just like it doesn't seem like a great nickname it seems like you could come up with something more clever and as I'm looking for something I end up on Tucson.com or Tucson.com as i like to say uh now this article from 2009 so things may have changed but the headline is no we are not grand canyon state arizona nickname lists since 1959 what quick arizona's official nickname what is it whatever you guess you're probably wrong arizona has no arizona some of some i came up with who has no official nickname as state historian marshall trimble said he recently learned state lawmakers took the first steps to correct that on tuesday so maybe now it

is official because this is from but i want to point out that the very fact that the example they use now i'm not trying to be right here yeah no no but the fact that they said if you think it's the grand canyon state you're wrong tells me there was at least some sense that's

what they were called no absolutely and again you were you were clearly right on that i was surprised I still stand by, with all due respect, to Joe, to Julie, to our other Arizona tens. I just think that it's a beautiful state and we could do better with a nickname, but that's not my decision. That's your decision.

Are you carrying around just a teeny bit of, let's just say, question mark regarding the state because that's where you were on January 6th?

I literally was there on January 6th. And before that insurrection even started, I was seeing things on bumpers and like things that I found like bumper stickers and other messages that some people with pickup trucks in that state were putting out into the world that I was legitimately shocked and chilled by.

Oh, dude, it is. I when I was first coming out here I was I was I'm happy to mention that like in my immediate neighborhood and my immediate neighbors nobody's just like hardcore Trump flagging it but boy when you you know when you drive the highways and byways of southern Washington you just it really and I would say this if this was promoting Joe Biden there is an amount of celebrating any politician that should be in the dsm-5 like it's diagnosably a mental illness like and it's it's like what is going on in your life that you need 11 trump flags outside of your house what and again if it was 11 biden flags i would think it was unsettling yeah like you know what i mean it's like there's something off about this like vote for you're gonna vote for i guess if you think you're promoting it whatever but then there's a point where it's like what is going on for you Like in an emotional mental health sort of way There is this This house that's Unfortunately pretty far away from here But I drive by it on occasion Going to the Home Depot Or as my dad says Home Depot No one except Walt puts the emphasis on home

Oh I thought you were I thought the complaint was that he's dropping the the Which they really emphasize in the commercials

But like you know How would you say If I said Oh where'd you and Genevieve get that cabinet Where'd you get it Home Depot Sorry ever just play on it but anyway i'm driving to the home depot and i have to go past this place and it's like it's the craziest it's like the whole house is this like um what would you call banner and it's like these crossed um rifles and then all this trump stuff on it but it's like it's just it's like how afraid of the world are you right now sir living in this house like is the world this terrifying that you have to do this as some sort of talisman against what, drag brunch? Like, what's going on for you?

You hear what Bud Light did, Luke? Oh, my goodness.

Only this banner, this giant banner with Trump's name and all this hagiography on it and then rifles is the only thing standing between me and a trans brunch. Yeah, right. Like, this is what's holding the line for me. A drag brunch? Yeah, yeah. It's just so, oh, but there's probably Going to be trans people there, Andrew It's going to be dangerous

And I'm not going to, it's going to make me feel funny I don't know

Yeah, exactly, like I actually heard a great conversation I mean, a sort of troubling But very well put conversation on our friend Chris Hayes' podcast recently with Chase Strangio Who is a lawyer Who represents a lot of Trans folks legally That are dealing with all kinds of abuses And it really put the whole it put some context to the obsession around the issue of trans rights or trying to quell trans rights and just the sheer number of of state like, you know.

basically like laws that have been passed and enacted in states i mean it's in the hundreds

in 20 states i've heard so far i mean that's almost half of this goddamn country and and and

and you know just and like the the most legislative session state session started in january so it's january february march it's like we're like three and a half months or whatever into it and they are wasting note it's the number one priority for them i know it's but and i don't want to slip into

what about ism because that drives me crazy when other people do it but i mean in this case though you can just say like this is the number one priority like gestures to everything around us but also to the children who are dying and it's like the number one thing that we're focusing on is just it is it is beyond puritanical it is so you're right it's just an absolute obsession that

is unsettling and one of the things though that that they point out much better on chris's show is it's also actually not politically a great issue for them believe it or not like it's just not a thing that enough voters you know you can find some very loud people on the fringe who are like obsessed with uh you know you know all gender bathrooms or something or like uh you know who is allowed to swim in a meet somewhere but it's actually not broadly a great issue for them like it's not doesn't turn people out like um in fact famously you know the north carolina bathroom bill the guy who brought that or who championed it lost the next election like and that's in north carolina like it's not it's not a super salient point for them and yet they're obsessed with it it's uh it's very weird anyway i think we can all agree that joe lamb of mesa arizona is an incredibly generous person we did it there's your content you're welcome also you're Welcome, West Plate, in Everett, Washington. Thanks to both of you. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right. I was going to say quickly, but nothing happens quickly on this program, Andrew. Yesterday, my dad and I were down at the Home Depot after driving by a few very decked-out houses. And were buying some stuff And then got back home And then it was time we were going to go get some dinner We were going to go down to town I'd heard that there was a really good Chinese restaurant Down in town And it turned out to be very good But I'm proud of this one thing Andrew As we were walking in I said Dad if you want to know The indication of if a Chinese restaurant is going to be good It's how brusque are the people Working at the restaurant If this feels like Something they have almost no time for It's going to be amazing And I learned this when I lived in New York City Like everywhere that I like to go You know Joe Shanghai And places like that It was a very very business like Very brisk and brusque Interaction you know somebody coming up to your table Asking you What you want to order Writing it down and then being off to their next thing And sure enough we sat down And it was like It was like the staccato and rapid fire nature Of the ordering process Okay what are you having This anything else This anything else This anything else This okay And then off to the races And the food was absolutely delicious So I stand by my theory That if you are eating At a Chinese restaurant Here in the US I don't know what it's like in China I haven't been there And it's a very business like affair You are going to get some delicious food Which we did

It was a big culture shock to me When I moved to Seattle And I started going to like Just like you know Quick pho restaurants Like my favorite pho restaurant You know what became My favorite pho restaurant I remember distinctly the first time I was in there because I was coming from actually that's not true I was going to say I was coming from Ohio that's not true I was coming from New Hampshire where I lived for 8-9 years at that point but like the culture the restaurant culture that I grew up with was very Midwestern like very just kind of like you showed I mean you know I try to avoid the places where somebody's going to crouch next to your table and like be your best friend and like take your order with a pen that has a big flower popping off of it or whatever but um with a lot of flair what have you um but generally speaking like you know you come in everybody's very friendly like the service is really part of it i remember um going to um i think it was tan brothers i think maybe that was on broadway on capitol hill a small local chain here um which i i love it's still one of my favorites and uh i remember going in though and really being like almost being like surprised like i i was shocked at at the service because the food was great but it was just like everything was like i mean kurt is putting it politely honestly i know and again but i think it was a cultural thing for me because i was used to the to the complete opposite of that that i really was like put i was like did i do something wrong like what what is wrong and now and now I realize that like that like my favorite places around town are often like that and when I had family visiting a couple of years ago I remember like I wanted to take them to these places but you know I just felt like especially with my parents being somewhat older and really like just you know having that very suburban Ohio restaurant experience their whole lives I was just like I I remember taking him to one place and sort of just saying like you know the service here is just going to be a little bit different than it's going to be at Chili's you know like you know be prepared for that you know absolutely

and again I was very proud because I had predicted this thing and then it happened exactly as I predicted it's also really fun to take my dad out for dinner because my parents never eat out it is like taking oh yeah sure he's not in the house right now he might be the excitement that my dad feels around what for you or Genevieve or I would just be the most normal Monday night of ordering some Chinese food is like really fun for him and he's like he loves everything and he's excited and we've got all these leftovers that she's taken back to my mom and stuff you know it's like it's fun though because I asked him I was like well where do you mom like to go do you have a favorite place and he goes not really like they literally never eat out it's crazy to me like they don't just have like oh the teriyaki joint we like or we go to this Italian place or whatever he could not come up with an example of a place that they go to regularly or like they just do not eat out I don't know I eat out far too much I'm at the other end of the spectrum but it's really fun to go and get dinner with him because he just like really it's a big fun adventure for him but anyway before we were going to do that I was looking for my wallet and I could not find it and I thought I just misplaced it somewhere in the house or you know I'm wearing these like car hearts half the time i got on like multiple layers of different outfits for construction stuff so i just figured out it's in a pocket somewhere my dad's like is it maybe at home depot did you leave it there i was like i didn't leave it at home depot that didn't happen well after i couldn't find it anywhere i called them and they were like yeah we have your wallet here and i was like first of all i was really like kind of upset with myself that i had been standing at the customer service counter using my my home depot credit card and then had just like randomly left my wallet sitting there like that just seems like such odd behavior um but i guess that's what happened so we go down there and then they explained to me well a my wallet was now in a vault it had been there for an hour and it was in a vault i was like you know what

go home depot with your custody i was gonna say i was hoping you weren't gonna complain about that

no that's great that should make you feel very amazing yeah seattle police department look into it it's called chain of custody with evidence how is home depot better than local law enforcement in terms of preserving evidence like they've got a system they're like it's in the vault but what i was very encouraged by was that the woman said oh it was found back near the um like uh the trim the molding and i was like oh okay so it fell out of my pocket so we had left the store and then we realized oh we want to go look at this tongue and groove pine that we're going to be doing the ceiling with in the tbtl studio so we went back into the store so it fell out of my pocket

which for some reason your wallet where do you keep your wallet in your pocket in your back

pocket well this is the problem is that i had these overalls on and so i think i don't know if they have back pocket i think i had it in one of the front pockets anyway somehow it slipped out but that felt more okay to me than i just left it at the counter like a weirdo like i was like what's wrong with my brain that i pay for something and i just walk away from my wallet some somehow dropping it felt like a more okay thing yeah this is why that now are you though

like so obviously i'm a creature of habit and again because like go back to the beginning of the show when i was talking about how like my general paranoia about the worst thing that could happen always possibly happening i always like you know my wallet is always in my in my you know rear left pocket my keys are always in my left front pocket my phone and you know whatever they're always in the same place and so if i'm wearing an article of clothing where i can't put things where they usually go i feel like i'd be touching it constantly you know what i mean like if i had my wallet in fact at the ball game the other day i had my wallet i believe or my phone tucked into my coat inside pocket and i knew that it wasn't where it usually is so i kept touching it like i kept thinking like is it there is it there okay it's there are you i mean are you like that a little bit where if you're wearing your usual apparel everything is in its own place i i think

i need to be more like that i think i've gotten out of that habit and hence me not knowing for an entire hour where my wallet was um and maybe i will be more like that going forward but this was the part that was unexpectedly fun so i go up to the front customer service area again where i thought i had left the wallet and um i'm chatting with the the person who works there and Thank you.

she sends her co-worker back to the vault to get my wallet and my dad's sitting out in the car and we're on our way to a succulent Chinese meal so I'm you know I'm making small talk but I'm also kind of hoping this doesn't take forever and um so I'm but I'm also just very relieved that someone had turned my wallet in so we're standing there we're talking and it's now been like five ten minutes and I'm like oh man does the person not have the code to the vault or something or you know it's going to take them a long time to get back here because I don't see them anywhere and And then all of a sudden I look up and there's this flag that starts flapping on this piece of PVC pipe. And the woman I'm talking to goes, oh, there it is. And she walks back to the wall where my wallet is now sitting because they have a pneumatic tube system. Oh, my God. At this Home Depot. That's the whole store. The lady sent my wallet from the vault in the back through the tubes to the front. And I was like, I got to lose more shit here.

No shit. I was just going to say, I'm going to go. I got to go. I got to go lose my wallet.

I know exactly where you want to lose something valuable, Andrew. Anything that will go into the vault.

What's the most fun thing to lose that can go in the vault that'll be fun coming through the ping pong ball? Exactly. With numbers written on them. Something. I don't know.

Write your ATM number on the ping pong ball. Like, I cannot tell you the excitement that coursed through me realizing my wallet had gone on a fantastic journey from the back of the store. Actually, by the way, slightly rolling the dice, like imagine there's like a, you know, something about the vacuum is not tight enough. Like, what if my wallet gets stuck somewhere over home and garden?

Yeah, right. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, there's a low spot in the pneumatic device where just things kind of get locked up.

Or if there's a little vacuum part of it, too, you know, it's just like as it passes through the walls of Home Depot, everybody's getting their beak wet a little bit. Sure, that, too. A 20 here, a 20 there. Now, let me ask you this. Do you always carry a wallet? Because now that I'm thinking about it, I feel like when I'm with you, I usually just see you like you usually have some sort of a phone wallet hybrid situation.

No, I'm back to it. I did have that for some period of time. It's been a long time. Oh, OK. Addy got me a wallet, a really cool leather wallet that actually had my initials on it. So I've used that for years now. And that was, sure enough, the one that dropped out of my pocket at Home Depot. Excuse me, Home Depot that they sent back to me. But so, yeah, I use I use a sort of a conventional wallet kind of a little thing most of the time. But, yeah, I just was like, oh, man. And I think also like they just built this. like out of like i said pvc because really what is one of these pneumatic tubes it's just probably some pvc pipe and then some kind of a suction so that you create negative pressure but it was like i just imagined like the people when they put this home depot together building this and run like just i was so delighted i want to go and just play with this pneumatic it's also the large like it's the longest like distance you know you go to the bank or something and they've got that but it's just kind of going up and over to your little drive-thru spot or underneath probably this thing was traveling like a couple city blocks

that's great like in the twin cities like it's like the the walkways why am I blanking at it the skyways yeah up on the

skyway what do I always call I called it the wrong thing and I think to the chagrin of our of our of our folks that actually know what it's called and I always did you hear what

I just did I have to conjure the replacement song to get to skyway like honestly that's how I did it yeah

Okay I just want to We're not going to get to the chartreuse shortage today Because it's a really good story actually I don't know if you had a chance to read it Kind of dazzling deets on that But I will tell you this really quickly I think we talked about this on the show We certainly We didn't The spoon thing I think you might have just given the headline of it

And then like I think you said We never are going to get to this So you just quickly said that a giant red spoon Was stolen from the outside I mean I think you just sort of gave the beets

that to be we got to it okay that's i was giving the important that's your prerogative it was one

of those things where i i mean it doesn't matter i just think that you kind of said it over the

music of of the um the emails or whatever yeah yeah but so okay yeah so this um this dq in in the greater phoenix area they had their their spoon stolen i think i might have actually misdescribed something back then i think i said people put it on a scooter because i had seen an article that said that that was actually not the case apparently it was uh three people who had some kind of a like um trailer being pulled behind a flatbed truck was more updated and thorough

interesting that i saw early reports though because i read this today i reread it today and early reports did claim that two people got on a scooter and took it away so that wasn't on you

That was on, what is this, the AP story? So, yeah, the newer reporting appears to be that, and they don't know who, there's no indication they've caught whoever it was, but there's some more interesting stuff, like the couple that owns the DQ were, you know, they wanted to get the spoon back because I guess replacing it would cost like $7,000. By the way, a 15-foot red spoon that looks like the kind you'd use to eat like a blizzard. So they made T-shirts for their employees that said, where's our spoon? Yeah, I love it. Where's my spoon? where's my spoon but also i thought just the greatest part of this was they found the spoon they found it in like um in like a playground or whatever you want to call it like at a middle school they found it in kind of like the um you know like the soccer field or something the guy who found it was playing pokemon go oh wow and was trying to capture a pokemon and looked over and saw the spoon and uh according to the story that i saw he took a picture of it sent it to his wife and said i found the spoon and her response was call the police by the way this is at seven in the morning this is going down like i love this guy out there like what do they call it training isn't that what they call like or a gym a pokemon gym there's like some

terminology around pokemon go where there is a gym but i don't know that that's i don't think that's what's happening when you're out there just looking for pokemon but i it's been a while since we did that since we covered that story so and went to gasworks and tried to find our own That was fun, yeah. Remember we were panicking, like you freaked out because there was like a Charmander in my studio or something, and so we quickly called our friend Christy Wise to talk us down. There's a Charmander. What should we do?

I think it was legitimately surprising the way that reality was augmented. Oh, my God.

Can I quickly tell you? Okay, so, okay. I know you said we don't have much time. I have a Burr coffee grinder that I got on the advice of some friends recently, or not recently, about a couple of years ago. I was always just using kind of an old-fashioned coffee grinder that I think is all just – it was made for coffee, but I'm pretty sure it was basically the style of a spice grinder basically. But now we have this Burr coffee grinder. It's only like two years old. It wasn't a super expensive one, but I liked it because it fit on the counter well. It's like a lot of these coffee grinders, they're almost as big or if not bigger than the coffee machine itself, the coffee maker. And I don't like that. So I got this cute little small, unobtrusive coffee grinder. But lately, over the past few weeks or months, it's been getting really hot. I have to clean it more and more. As you would guess, I clean these things pretty diligently. You take it apart, you clean it. But I think the burrs are just grinding down so much that I need to replace it. I looked at replacing the burrs themselves. Some burrs, Luke, just the burr, the pieces of metal that you would screw on there go for like $600 for, you know, I mean, obviously that's for some high-end stuff that I would never buy. But I was like, maybe I can just replace the burrs. I was like, nope, maybe I'll just replace the whole thing. Having said that, so I'm in my kitchen the other night, and it was really late at night. Genevieve is sleeping, and I'm just like, I got to do some research and look at buying another one of these things before this thing totally craps out on me, and I'm going to be without coffee for a while. So I'm on Amazon Prime on my phone, and I'm looking for dimensions. I'm like, okay, this looks like a good little grinder. Is it going to be too big for the space? And I'm looking for dimensions, and I can't find it on the mobile app, but I see the button that maybe you've already played in the space, Luke. This is where I'm going with this. It says, look at what this or see what this would look like in your space. Have you played with the augmented reality? So I'm taking these I'm looking at these grinders online and when I see one that looks like it might fit I hit this button it says okay point your point your camera at the ground I pointed the ground it said now move it randomly around your space and so I do that and then the grinder virtually appears now I I know that this is probably not super new technology for everybody who uses like filters and everything on Instagram. and it looks like you have bunny ears and you can move around. Like, I realize that augmented reality has been around for a little bit now. I just never use it. And so I'm, like, calling up these grinders, and I'm like, what would this grinder look like sitting next to my coffee maker? Oh, I see. This would be a little bit bigger than my coffee maker. But you can kind of move around it. It's like true, you know, augmented 3D reality. I almost wanted to wake up Genevieve. It's like 3 in the morning. I'm like, check this shit out. I was very excited. That's pretty cool.

Now, did you end up buying one of the things that you were test driving?

I'm waffling. I'm going back and forth. I need to do more research. I want one that's going to last more than two years, but I also just don't want one of these beasts that's going to sit on my counter.

The last thing on the...

the the dq spoon sitch is uh the guy did call the police and this is the part that i really love first of all the spoon's very heavy so the custodial crew from the height from the middle school had to help lift the spoon over the fence and the cops did respond to this and then tied the spoon to the top of the cruiser oh god to drive it back to the dq do we have photos of that i not that i've seen but it's a real missed opportunity i can't believe that uh there aren't there must be photographs of that somewhere didn't make it into whatever the news article was that i read but i mean a cop car with a 15 foot red spoon lashed to the top of it i love this driven by chief wigum if possible yeah ralphie boy and it was a terrible wigum i'm sorry here i go once again

with the email every week i hope that it's from a female oh man it's not from a female

you know what i was thinking about today andrew as i was uh perusing the emails the tbtl email uh repository was i have a lot of um obviously like messages from like pr people in there just kind of you know mass blast kind of spammy stuff and they love to say for immediate release like they think that's gonna be that's gonna kind of you know wet your whistle that's gonna let your imagination on fire of fire the fact that this can be immediately released and there is often a real disconnect between how much i would want to release what's in the email and how immediate i'm allowed how immediately i'm allowed to release it i'm not trying to take the fun out of your bit

my guess though is that it's just standard copy because you're either going to say embargoed or for immediate release it's probably just like standard operating procedure when you're releasing A press release to let the first thing be known Whether or not it's it's public Information or not I know

But what I'm saying is if I were a Press person I would never send anything Out anything out that couldn't Just be talked about on the radio or TV or newspaper like I also find It incredibly Presumptuous for Someone to send me An a press release That they're also embargoing

See I feel like that that don't You think that would like that would catch your attention even more, ooh, embargoed, what's, hmm, hmm, I guess, oh, really, I wish we had some audio

for that, Andrew, you're lucky I'm already playing the email sound effect, oh, I agree with you that this idea of, like, sort of, you know, false scarcity or whatever, like, you can't, hey, whatever you do, don't release this, there is something psychological to that, but there is also, for me, just, and I can't even find it, because I'm deleting these i'm whacking these things down like or i'm i'm pulling a bob walsh and i'm blasting these things out when they come into my inbox but just when someone's like for immediate release and then it's just like you know also it's just i don't need to board listeners with more examples of just like press releases that are that are lousy but sometimes it'll also be like something terrible happens and they're clearly trying to like you know some terrible news event will happen And they see it as a way in to talk about Their hair loss treatment And it's like you know Stressed out by the news Dr. Bob Amato will come on And talk about hair loss It's like don't capitalize on the tragedy Of the world to try to get your snake oil Person on the show And also how dare you embargo that

Embargoed I know Oh man we gotta start The new company we gotta embargo some stuff And then put it out there in the world People will be really excited about that We should have been more coy with our With the announcement of the details of our TBTL-a-thon or maybe we can embargo We actually haven't released the details yet Yeah we can see yeah that is embargoed We gotta tell but the thing is about embargoed We gotta tell somebody but then tell them it's embargoed You know and we can do that we can tell all of our Listeners but then tell them not to tell anybody

Sign up for the new TBTL email This is how we should do it Actually Andrew this is some embargoed news Why don't we announce the details Of the TBTL-a-thon We will announce it through the new TBTL email I like that

And we'll embargo it and then we won't

Talk about it on the show so if you want to be the first Person to see the embargoed information Related to the new THON You got to go to tbtl.net And sign up for the new newsletter I love it

I love it this is see this is I mean We're marketing geniuses and this Is going to be a successful Successful campaign and a successful Business opportunity for us going

100 a week

500 100 a day 500 a week that's rich that's rich hey um speaking of the stolen spoon i wanted to get this voicemail in here this is from our buddy max in new york hey dummies formerly known as hbo hey dummies it's uh max in brooklyn checking in

was just listening to you talking briefly about the stolen giant spoon off the dq and it reminded me of um this time when some students i went to bennington college in vermont tiny liberal arts school and some folks sad story ended up getting kicked out of school because they attempted to steal the chili off of the chilies by us they got expelled um and ended up having to pay some criminal damages. They didn't get the chili off the roof, but they had to pay for the extension cord that they ran across the highway from the other side where the Home Depot was to be able to plug in the drills that they were trying to use. And it made me think there should be some like shenanigans exceptions in our laws. Like, yes, there's some criminal liability and they should pay a fine but you know shenanigans anyway uh power out shenanigan the shenanigan clause

also i tried i tried to steal the big chef's hat off of the top of a shenanigans one time uh-huh

sure have you had their fajita shooters oh they're so good shenanigans as i i'll i'll i'll repeat someone on tiktok's joke once again that i said last week but if you let if you let him shenan

once he's gonna shenan again just wait that's that's something you told somebody or that's

something no that's something i said on the show like last week it's something i heard somebody say on tiktok which i think is hilarious like girl if you let him shenan once you know he's gonna shenan again that's a really solid joke but i also agree with listener hbo max i'm sorry i agree with listener discovery plus which is you should want in fact you know what i really liked about the reporting around the spoon was that the the the owners of the Dairy Queen they they wanted to get the spoon back by the way they were getting some pretty good earned media on this too but they were like you also kind of got the feeling that they were invoking the shenanigan clause a little bit in other words they made the t-shirts where's our spoon you know I mean like they kind of were playing along like we shouldn't people should not do property crimes people should not you know destroy a restaurant signage all that is bad but there is a kind of fairly low level thing that's generally going to be associated with kids of a certain age that i do think should be the shenanigan clause i totally agree with that as long as you know things are put back where they're supposed to be and you know if something is legitimately destroyed it should be paid for obviously but it's like i don't know i have a hard time being mad at a 16 year old or a 20 year old kid who's trying to steal the chili off of the top of a chili's i have a hard time being that angry

at that person or i mean college student i guess at that point luke you've never taken the walking bridge over i5 up here in north seattle it's like the the one from north seattle college exactly i have walked it one time you have walked it one time so that is the walk that i do when i am getting because it goes to the train station basically and it's a way of getting over the highway and as luke says it starts at north seattle community college um not north seattle

community college they dropped the community oh they did oh i didn't know they're farting

through silk now they're north seattle college nice okay cool you know i'm gonna call it north seattle university um but cambridge community college i'm gonna call it oh uh my buddy went to ou ohio university which is on the hawkins river and he always called it harvard on the hawkins anyway um he uh anyway so this area where the bridge is is also again it's college property i think but um it's also some wetlands it's like some lowland wetland preservation area and the um on on the north gate side or on the your side on the uh the college side of things So, yeah. So if you can picture me, it was after one of the ballgames I went to this weekend. I get off the train, you know, it's, you know, 10, 11 at night or something like that. And I walk over the bridge. I walk over the highway. And now I'm at like kind of the foot of the bridge and I'm on the campus, I guess. And I'm like, you know what? It's it's not far from my house here, but it's uphill. And if I could find one of those scooters that could get me out of a little jam. And I'm like, I wouldn't mind zipping home on a scooter. So I open up my app, and I'm thinking this was – it doesn't matter. It's probably the Uber one or the Lime one. It doesn't matter. So I look at the map, and I see that there's a couple of scooters supposedly nearby. But the one, I'm like – again, it's like I'm looking for Charmanders. This is what reminded me of it. This guy was looking for his –

pokemon go when he found the spoon i'm walking around with my phone looking down watching where the arrow is pointing i'm like ghost bustering it like trying to figure out like where the hell is the scooter that i can't find and then i realize and it's got a good charge on it too you know it shows you on the app it can go like seven i know where this is going but then i'm like and then i look into the woods and i'm just like oh somebody threw this mother tutor into the into the wetlands Right off of the MLK Bridge or whatever. I think somebody just threw this thing into the woods. And I was like, part of me, like, I was just tuned up enough to be like, should I go looking in the woods for this thing? And I was like, no, I should not. And I think I just walked home.

Good. We would have never seen you again. No. Local podcaster goes missing looking for Lime Scooter.

Yeah. Under Red Scooter.

I mean, the Willamette River in Portland is mostly scooters.

Yeah, I know. That's what this lies with.

I think the water level has actually risen measurably. And I understand that the, well, actually, I don't know if I understand the economics of these companies. I guess some of them are making money now. You know, whenever it comes to some sort of tech disruption, there's so much time where these companies operate at a loss, right? Like for years and years, and then maybe they turn the corner. I was going to say I don't understand the business model Of having something That as a 15 year old kid I would have given my right eye For one of these electric scooters Like they would seem so valuable to me And somehow the business model is It's okay if about 15 to 20 Of them a week are thrown in a river How is that And then I guess what it is Is they're not making money yet So maybe they haven't accounted for that But I feel a palpable sense of sadness when I see one of those scooters just rusting away in the Willamette because I just think, God, 12-year-old me would have killed for that thing.

Right now, there's a couple of those scooters right outside of our house. One of them is definitely one that I rode back this weekend, and I think one might be from maybe Genevieve's commute to work or something. I'm not sure about that one. But I like, as much as possible, I love parking the rentable bikes or scooters right outside of our house because I want the algorithm to notice that this is a hub because it's really handy on the occasion that we're leaving the house to have a scooter or a bike there waiting for us. And that's always, especially in the summertime, that's the ideal thing. So I want the algorithm to be like, wow, this little area here is a real hub for these

things. Exactly. Yeah. It's actually pretty smart. I wonder if you'll actually, over the course of the summer be able to see the results of that you know like you'll see more more traffic or

whatever if they start actually stocking them here that would be pretty cool yeah or or yeah

i guess i guess that would be the only way that you would you would get more because no one's going to drop no one's going to be riding in a drop it off there because of activity would just be the truck that goes around where do they repopulate them i wonder if that's an ask you

can put in with those companies oh that's interesting maybe if you're a business or

probably yeah yeah you have to be a some kind of power user or some place where there's going to be a lot of people but yeah yeah all right all right well i think that's uh gonna do it for today's episode of tbtl but we're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you you don't need another reminder you're listening in minute 76 almost of the program but please do go to tbtl.net go to the button that says extra extra and click on that to please subscribe to the new tbtl newsletter so you can like finding a lime scooter at north seattle college you can ride with us into the next phase of tbtl we promise we will not throw the scooter into the willamette river we'll make it very easy for you to ride along with us over at tbtl.net all right thanks for listening uh we're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you until then have a great tuesday take care of yourselves go mariners and please remember no mountain too

all and good luck to all I don't know who created Pokemon go but I'm trying to figure out how we get them to have Pokemon go to the polls power out Let's go.