Muse

hey there friend of mine left me a note um in my handwriting and he said that you might be able to set me up with the pill that makes the memories go away like a shame wow see i did something a little out of character and um the window is kind of closing in on you know before it lodges in the Long-term, um, what do you call it, um, what do you call it? Brains. Long-term brains. TBTL.

Why are you wasting your time with this podcast? Because I have nothing else going on.

We are still on for this afternoon, right? Operation Monkey Brain. You paint your bald spot? I don't know what you're talking about, sir. My hair grows. Do you paint your bald spot?

Oh my god. One hundo a day, both of us. Five hundo a week. That's rich. That's it.

Well, alright, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. I gotta figure out how to make money on this thing. It's simply too good. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Carol, hold my calls.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where I'm looking out at the sky. It's a little cloudy, but I think the sun is going to break through. So I think we get a. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. I think we can. Maybe we're trying to manifest it being a nice day here in Portland by playing that audio drop. This is going to be a nice show, my friends. It's episode 3,955 in the Collector's Series.

Let the fun begin.

It's a lot of shows. 3,955. Oh, speaking of shows, a blessed I Think You Should Leave Season 3 day on Netflix to all who celebrate.

I'm so excited about this show.

I believe on the program recently, Andrew said there was some chatter. I don't know if it was on the Stens page or Slack. Somebody saying, well, I guess we know what the guys are going to be talking about incessantly starting May 30th. That would be the debut of season three of I think usually did I spend part of this morning. I had a very hectic morning, by the way. I had to I had to cross state lines in a U-Haul. I had to I considered climbing a razor wired fence. I I'm packing for a trip. I'm going to Arkansas in like an hour. And in the midst of all of it, did I make time to watch the first episode of I Think You Should Leave Season 3? I sure did. I love television. I've got to have that thing on 24-7. I love the patter. And speaking of Netflix, the folks at Netflix have now started the crackdown on password sharing. And people are not super-duper happy about that. So we will talk about that as well. and a full report on my adventurous weekend of moving most of my worldly possessions and trying to tow a very, very run-down boat across, as I said, state lines. Oh, and the adventure begins again. And we're going to talk to this guy, the longest-running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships, not to be confused with the 1960s Norseman runabout that I was trying to tow. He is Andrew. boom boom walsh and he's joining me right now good morning my friend good morning luke i'm very

excited to hear about your adventure but first i'm going to send us into a direction that we do not need to go in at all but i heard i thought about all the different ways to apologize for this conversation at the top of the show and i'm not going to apologize i'm not going to mostly the listeners but by way of you um but i heard what i think was some of the best broadcasting I've heard on the AM dial in my life this weekend. Did it happen during a Mariners game? Sure, but this isn't a story about sports, Luke. This is a story about humanity and broadcasting.

Did it involve Gary Hill Jr. and one Aaron Goldsmith?

It did, and Rick Riz riding shotgun, which is my favorite thing. So this happens during a blowout game yesterday against the Yankees, and that's not really part of this.

It's just good to see some nice stuff finally happening for the New York Yankees. And you love to see, as I was writing in the text chain, by the way, this is not a story about sports fandom. It's a story about people I dislike deeply and viscerally. It's about sports hatred. The, like, sound, I was listening to the game as I was up working on The Other House, and, like, when the Yankees, it's one of those teams, when they come play in your stadium and they do a good thing, they have as many fans there as you do. So it was disorienting because I'd hear a cheer.

up but it meant something good was happening for the Yankees and this is where I become extremely petty and I was writing this in our text chain if somebody grew up in New York or in you know that part of the country and they were a diehard Yankee fan and then they live in Seattle or something it's like hey you like the team you like but I bet you less than 10% of the people there wearing Yankees hats and screaming their heads off for Aaron Judge that's their story I promise you they're just people who like to root for a team that historically does very well because they have more money than anyone else. And that, for some reason, was really sticking in my craw.

Oh, that's what always gets me, and especially when you're in the stadium for those games as well. I don't think I've been to a Yankees game against the Mariners here in town. I wouldn't recommend it. But I've been at some Boston games, at least one that I can think of last year, which the Mariners ended up having a very surprising come-from-behind win.

Oh, was that the time when you were a little salty at the end of the game?

Yes, and I was yelling and screaming down at the Red Sox fans pouring out of the stadium below me. You bleed for me? I'm sorry, that's what I yell. Where's your chance now? You guys were so loud before. And then later my friend said, did you see the older gentleman who gave you the double birds? Love it. Which always raised the philosophical question for me. Can you be a gentleman while giving the double birds? I always think that's an interesting question. But anyway, so you were listening. You were listening to the game yesterday, it sounds like, Luke, although it doesn't sound probably kind of in and out while you're working on things. I don't know if you heard what happened over the course of, I want to say at least two innings, because there were several commercial breaks during this segment, but this is one of those games where it doesn't even, you know, the play-by-play doesn't matter anymore. The Mariners are getting crushed the way the Mariners are going to get crushed against this lineup of the Yankees.

It converts into being an AM radio show, right, where there happens to be a baseball game unfolding but in very much now in the background of things and like rick riz who's

the more like you know the standard bearer of i don't know if that's the right word there but you know he's the voice of the mariners now and he's very kind of old school and he's going to call the game and he's going to sprinkle in some anecdotes about playing in the sandlot got to hear some of that uh this weekend you know on the south side of chicago growing up do you remember where it is

at the chicago i just don't i don't i i'm unclear currently where where are these bombers from Andrew are they from Brooklyn are they the Brooklyn Bombers

the Queens Bombers are they the Bayshore Bombers the Long Island no the Long Island Lombers anyway we're getting close we're getting close so here's the deal so for folks who don't listen to as much baseball on the radio as we do Rick is kind of the main voice and he's doing the play by play and you got Aaron Goldsmith kind of a younger kind of next generation baseball fan who likes to look up weird stats and talk about guys, right? And he's kind of the color commentator. But there comes to be a time in the game where they'll sort of switch roles for a little bit, give the main broadcaster a breather. So Adam now has the wheel. And this is some of my favorite stuff that happens during these broadcasts because Adam has a different – I'm sorry, Aaron. How many times was I going to say it before I heard it? Aaron has a different kind of style of broadcasting. And like you say, he'll slip into podcast mode where he's just bringing up numbers or creating guessing games and somehow and I don't know what's going I can't even remember what's going on with the Mariners right now but Aaron raises the question what Mariner has the longest streak of games with multiple hits and the number is eight games in a row there's one Mariner who's had multiple hits across eight games in a row I thought that number was low but I don't know much about baseball it's hard it's hard to get like multiple hits in a game

I think I'm with you though eight games sounds short but I but I think it just happens multi hit games just happen less than I think we think they do and so he throws this out here Luke and

this is what I love about it so he's driving the he's driving the car now he's driving the ship but Rick is kind of playing along and I love having Rick is like a sidekick almost he's like kind of involved and then who's the is it Gary I think Gary Hill Jr and he loves this shit so he's trying to guess it too and Aaron is giving a little bit just sprinkling hints here and here Luke this went on Genevieve and I realize we are not going to know who this player is it's not Ichiro everybody's just like I can't believe it's not Ichiro yeah that would be the most obvious choice so it's not Ichiro and then it becomes kind of this is not a this is not a household name and then then they reveal okay this is on the 2002 Mariners and Vives and I are just like well Jeff Cirillo? No, but that's what somebody else guessed. And Luke, Veeves and I, and Veeves, first of all, I like the Mariners. Veeves sort of likes the Mariners, also likes to make fun of me liking the Mariners. We are, I had just gotten done grilling. We're eating some brats.

I actually was, I don't know if this is interesting or not, but I was done grilling, but I wasn't really hungry after being done grilling. So Genevieve's having a salad and a brat.

Is this because you're snacking as you're grilling and then you kind of get filled up a little bit?

I think in this case it's just because I was kind of hot and I had just gotten done doing a bunch of yard work, whatever. I just needed time just like to be done with my task for a while a little bit and just sit on the back porch and have a Bud or a Coors Light, I should say. Let's give credit where credit is due.

Wait, aren't we drinking Bud Light now just out of obligation? Oh, that's right. We have to push back. I mean, I don't even really like Bud Light.

Did it just sound like I was making a point of not drinking Bud Light? No, we just happen to drink Coors Light in this house now. In this house, we believe Bozo did the dub.

And also, I mean, I'm sitting on eight cases of Bud Light. I'll never even drink it. Now I have to support Anheuser-Busch.

What a screwed up world. I know. Anyway, so I was just sort of in this mode where I just wanted to kick back, have a can of beer. Genevieve's enjoying her meal. And we're listening. And then, like, we're glued to the radio. We realize we're not going to know who this person is. I didn't start following the Mariners until 2010. This is a 2002 team. There are not very many well-known names. You have Edgar on this list as well, but it wasn't him, and it's not Ichiro. So we don't even know these other people. We are at the edge of our seat. They keep going to break, and they're coming back, and Aaron's giving a little bit more. It was so goddamn good. Do you want to go for one more guest before we get on to some non-sports talk here?

I don't – I'm trying to think of – so the two – I think the 2001 Mariners were – was it the 2000, 2001 Mariners that won like 116 games? That's 2001, so this is the year after that. So this would be the year after that. I'm trying to think. I mean, they had Brett Boone. He was a big hitter for us in those days. I don't – I'm imagining you can't give me a hint because you were unfamiliar with this person. You don't remember any of the hints that Aaron Goldsmith was giving to you.

All I want to say is I don't know anything about this person either. I had to look him up. And then, of course, what I did was I ran down to my office and I grabbed that stack of, I don't know, do I have like 100 baseball cards that I bought at a garage sale that are all Mariners players from like the late 80s, early 90s. I have a bunch of like literally worthless Mariners baseball cards from an era before I was interested in baseball. And so I go through this looking for this player. All I can say is, if I understand the definition of naming guys, this is such a good name. Naming some guys. He's such a guy. This is a some guy to name. Just based on the name and the fact that I've never heard of this person before, but I'm looking here. They started playing in 96 and played through the 2007 season. Not all for the Mariners. Actually, only played for the Mariners this year in 2002. That's what's so funny about this. This record is held by somebody who just played for the Mariners for one year.

broke this record then well that's getting rid of a lot of because i think john olerud was on that team but he was he's he's a known he's a known guy and he played for the mariners for a long time so the i don't know um i don't i don't have any other um guesses who was it i think

olerud might have been gone by that time maybe not but anyway the name is desi reliford it's Desi Reliford, you know Desi Reliford? Only because he has a great name. Yes, has the, I mean, carry that with you in your pocket everywhere you go for the rest of your life. Desi Reliford holds the record for most games in a row with multiple hits for the Seattle Mariners, and that number is eight. It was, and I don't think I did a good job of recreating it here. I think a lot of people are like, hey, you're back from Memorial Day. I'm looking forward to some real TBTL action. And all I ask is you guys don't talk about sports at the top of the show. And here we are. But I want it. And I've only gone through about half of my baseball cards. I have never been so excited to dig through a second half of baseball cards looking for a Desi Reliford card. Oh, man. Put it next to your Ryan Court foul ball. I'm looking at it right now. I went to a ball game this weekend. And we were talking about the balls and how they're messed up with mud in the dugout before they're put into play. Is there like some special, what is it, like Tennessee River mud or some craziness? Yeah, somewhere in that area. But anyway, I realized I admitted without thinking about it. I was like, yeah, sometimes I have a Ryan Court foul ball. Then you stop. You let people react to that. Gasps. Applause. Let that sink in. And I'm like, yeah, well, sometimes I smell it. And then my friends both looked at me. I thought that would be more of a universal thing. If you had a, maybe you do have one, but if you had a ball that was from a major league game, even if it was just a foul ball from Ryan Court, at some point in your private time, you're going to smell it, right?

Of course. Oh, I had, you know, people who've listened to the show too closely for too many years probably know that when I was a kid, I got a foul ball. kingdom that was hit by a boston red sock named ellis burks and uh what happened was my friend peter williams and i it was a business person special so it was like a day game at the kingdom the mariners were horrible there's probably a hundred people in the stadium and we snuck all the way down we literally climbed a there was like they used to have a fence like a cyclone fence actually blocking the like outfield seats and the nicer seats that were down the third baseline like Just a – like, you know, the kind of like all-city fencing, just like your typical shitty chain-link fence that people get?

Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. When you say hurricane fence, I think I always get this wrong. I always think of it as that plastic stuff. I don't know if that's right.

Yeah, no, I don't even know if that's what that's technically called. But you know what I mean. Just like a standard chain-link fence.

A chain-link fence. Okay.

There was a chain – this tells you about the aesthetics of the kingdom when I was growing up. They were like, okay, over here is the outfield. This would have been sort of maybe relatively near the foul pole, right? it would have been like on one side of the chain link fence is the hoi polloi that's the people in the bleachers and then the other side now we're getting more into the more premium seats and instead of just i don't know having an aisle or the the solution at that time was a like four to five it was about four foot high chain link fence just running right between the seats nothing says a day out at the ballgame with your family like something out of the movie red dawn that patrick

swayze's dad should be on the other side of avenge me is that harry dean stanton it certainly is like and by the way you're absolutely right they are chain link and hurricane fence interchangeable

i think i've learned that lesson many times on the show but so we hop that thing we go from one totally empty area of seating and hop the fence to a total i mean the premium seats were also totally empty and we end up sneaking down our goal is to get as close to the dugout as possible and we go down and we sit next to these two i mean literal businessmen i mean they were really they were really living the dream of this promotion they're just handing each other

their business cards back and forth back and forth saying taxi taxi they're just yelling

sell sell but they were like in suits these two guys and they're sitting there and me and peter sneak down and we sit next to them and um and then believe it or not the ticket person comes around the person checking on the seats which it's just like come on at this point but the two biz dudes who Andrew here's the thing I bet you these guys were 27 you know what I mean or 28 the biz guys like in my mind at the time they were older gentlemen you know what I mean they were like they could have been in their 70s for all I knew they were wearing suits and they were in the nice part of the kingdom seating they were probably under 30 yeah but anyway so they covered for us you're like oh no they're with us and this was also the day where I guess the ticket person was like cool okay and then ellis burks at some point you know hits a foul ball a very forgettable foul ball it's probably not documented i don't even think the elias sports bureau has a record of this happening do you think they document every foul ball in major league baseball at this point i didn't even go back and find your ryan court is it the elias what is it i don't think i've heard that before elias is like a real like they are the sort of official or one of the kind of like official baseball statistic kind of place it's called the elias sports bureau and like when you really want to know like you know ponus wagner's batting average in 1916 or something it's like the elias sports bureau will have it okay i but do i wonder if they keep track of foul balls i mean because you know there's nothing that that baseball fans or at least certain kinds of baseball fans love more than minutiae but is that even for hardcore saber matricians is that too much minutia like could you go back and locate the ryan court pitch that was the ball

that you have in that room wow somebody must though right because you're working account i mean it's relevant to a degree right it's a strike yeah if you follow off six like that's

going to impact the at bat anyway yeah it's probably anyway i don't know if there's a a record of of um of my ellis burks pop-up but anyway he gets into this and i've told the story so many times but basically what happens is the ball lands kind of near the business guys and they're reaching for the ball and what happens is peter just in he just intuits i love he just instinctively knew to start kicking them in the hand as hard as he could while i reached down with my mid and snatched the ball and i remember one of the biz guys going we were just gonna give

you the baseball that story both is just like it epitomizes like kind of childhood and yeah and rascaldom if that's right but also kind of makes me really sad i mean it was like in our i mean we

had never been that close to a major league baseball this is back to your question of smelling it i would regularly smell that baseball years later yeah if i still had it i'd be smelling it right now i mean there's nothing that smells better than a major league baseball i think i've

made this offer to you before but you can smell it the next time you're over here so wait what happened to the ball.

I got it So you kept it and Peter Williams

Did you two have to fight over it?

Maybe we had visitation I think he was also going for it himself I don't think it was like He was specifically running interference for me He was just trying to First of all neutralize the threat And then probably go for it I don't remember it being an issue Where it was like There was a disagreement about You get the baseball or I get the baseball So however it went down I ended up with the baseball and i did grab it with my mitt i didn't catch it out of the air either that's something i've never done there yeah but i would i would that would be a real adrenaline high like catch a home run on the fly like i don't even know if i could do that anymore and i played high school baseball

yeah i mean i don't and i don't go to the games with a mitt either so you bare handing that is

that coming in no chance i have a zero percent chance of bare handing i could um maybe catch it with a mitt or i could maybe catch a foul ball like a very popped up foul ball maybe catch it without a mitt but i but there's but a home run with no mitt that's yeah madness have you seen there's like a video of like a dad and he's got like i think he's got like a baby and a you know one of those baby bjorns or something and i feel like he bare hands a home run and i'm just

like that's the coolest is that the one where he's also got a beer in one hand he's got a beer And it looks like his wife is, like, giving him a kind of a look like this is not cool. I might be conflating a bunch of these into, like, one Doug Braski-esque baseball catch. But I feel like that went viral. Like, he's got what I call, because I'm not sure if it's technically a Bjorn, so Vives and I call them front-facing baby backpacks. You know, which is, you know, again, why we're not ready to have kids. and uh in my hand in my head he's holding a beer in the left hand with that sloshes a little bit catches the ball with his right hand baby front and center on the chest and wife giving this look

like no you're not doing this right now but but then he does like he catches the baseball and it's almost again i this might be we may have merged like four different things that happened in baseball at some point but my memory is he just like calmly catches this baseball with like his bare hand and it's just like wow that's just peak everything yes you could be it was not like that in the 80s at the kingdom when i got my ellis burks baseball is the point um we don't have time

for this now i think we have to move on we're a little tight on time but someday and literally not now but i want to know i have a question about the kingdom i want to know what the smoking rules were because people smoked a lot back then that was a big dome don't get into it now maybe we can

talk about it tomorrow oh i'd love to i would i i'll have to i'll have to kind of like dig back in uh in my memory banks because i do feel like you could smoke in the bathrooms i believe it there was smoking in the boys room i believe it but anyway uh yeah we could talk about that tomorrow um here's what i think we should do before i get into this you know how my weekend went um and i know today's tuesday but we were on tape we were even more on tape than normal yesterday um my big long holiday weekend um we should take a break and then come back we'll do that and uh i can give you the preview on at least episode one of i think you should leave

season three coming up here on tbtl on your mark on your mark get set get set now ready ready go

everybody rattle dazzle all rightly let's thank some dazzling donors these are the wonderful generous supportive people keeping tbtl going with a donation of a dazzling amount of dough each month we got to thank john paxton who's in seattle washington now uh okay i'm the pronouncer now i was trying to integrate that but he's like you know john paxton is a fairly straightforward name but then i believe john said uh i don't need to give you a pronouncer but you can try to emphasize the h if you want and i was thinking where's there an h in paxton it's johan johan johan exactly johan paxton uh says hey i don't have any big need for an on-air call out but i'm just glad i'm in a place to help for another year well so are we john so are we yes my only ask is for andrew to try out marvel snap and see if he likes it more than hearthstone i'm guessing marvel snap is another is a game similar to hearthstone i'm guessing that it is a like kind of a um

marvel you know based in the marvel universe i think it's interesting and it's going to sound like i'm teasing you i'm not but i've never i don't know if i've ever heard the name of this game said out loud before but the the way that you emphasize marvel is interesting i think i feel like i'd say what game are you playing marvel snap and you say marvel marvel snap as if there's also dc snap i don't know oh yeah um but i could be i don't know if i'm wrong or right about that either but yeah so i've never played marvel snap i did play some i think dc version of it where it's like you know all these games the dc version of the marvel game i mean honestly yeah i mean i don't know how different they are but i will check this out and i'll get back with john because honestly hearthstone got too complicated for me it was like they kept introducing new games and new levels and new card packs and i know that that's kind of part of it but like at a certain point like i played those types of games on my boop boop my ipad type device while like watching dumb tv with genevieve because it was supposed to be mindless but hearthstone became anything but mindless and now i played some other just crap on my phone uh and now i would be very excited to try marvel snap so uh i will report back even though

you had a uh you had a different listener who was like your hearthstone coach yeah no that was fun

back in the day like hey i have no regrets over my days and hours spent with hearthstone for real but it just got like it got so convoluted Luke just bananas I mean and like for me I like playing these games because they wear a groove into my brain you know and then it's like hex empire for

you right it's right it's just kind of like you know it's just it's just sort of rub stimulating your brain very at a very low level in a way that's kind of nice a nice feeling and then you

know and it was a whole thing where it's you introduce new characters and new packs of cards And I understand that, too. You know, I understand that it's not I'm not fully into that, but I can keep up with that. But then they're just like, oh, I can't explain it. They were just creating new games within the universe and the old games weren't worth anymore. I'm just like, I don't want to learn a new thing every time I turn on my boop boop. Right.

Well, I think you should look into it. I will. I think the first thing is figure out how they say it. If it's Marvel Snap or Marvel Snap. Marvell Snap. Or Marvell's snap Or Jahan's snap Yes I probably say it the way that people who aren't from the Northwest say the U-Dub Yeah, I think I'd do that, right? It's just, it's such a, it is like, I mean, of the most minor things that could ever be noted It's maybe the most minor, which is if you're from the greater Seattle area Or if you went there, or if you've just been around it a lot You would say like, oh, where'd you go? I went to the U-Dub But then if you're talking to someone who's maybe from out of town they'll go like oh yeah I was at a UW game yeah I say that I don't even know if people can hear a difference

they can I remember our dear friend Mike Frizzell rest in peace I remember he was somebody who would not really criticize us at all but that was the one thing that he pointed one time he gently pointed out that I say it weird and it took me a long time I think I raised that with you on the show I couldn't even really quite hear it but obviously from being around here he would know and you would know

Yeah. Well, John, thanks for the support. We appreciate you. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

Everybody rattles down. Hey, look who it is. It's our friend Hess in Honolulu, Hawaii. And then it just lists Hess's postal code. Oh, that would be a mistake. That would be a mistake on my part. Is that how you pronounce your name now?

When these come in, a whole bunch of information is tacked to them, and I usually delete it all.

Well, I actually am glad to know. I've been wondering what Hess's postal code is, and now I won't put it on blast, Hess. Although I do believe Hess is on the record as saying if tens are visiting Hawaii and her schedule works out, I think Hess is kind of the welcoming committee over there in Honolulu. Hess says, long-time listener and donor. Will donate again. Thank you. Thanks, Hess. Thanks for hours of entertainment and aural companionship throughout my walks, workout, when I didn't want to work, and especially now that I have a fractured spine. I did not know how that sentence was going to end, Hess. Gosh. Nor did I. Man, sorry, Hess.

Jeez Louise, that doesn't sound like something you just shake off. You don't just throw, you don't rub dirt on that shit, Hess. No, you don't walk that off.

I'm sorry. Jeez, sorry, Hess. Okay, Hess says, For my request, once again, I am in another new town. I'm not complaining, because this time being in Honolulu, but I would love to connect with... Look at this. This is exactly what I said. Hess is looking to make some friends with other 10s who might be in Hawaii. And I know we have a few out there. I'd love to connect with local 10s in Hawaii. I know you guys are out there. I was hoping to schedule a meetup. Please reach out via the Stens Facebook page or Slack. I would love to schedule a meetup. any 10s who are coming to visit the island, please reach out and say hi. What if, Andrew, after I had sort of led with Hess as the 10s welcoming committee, this whole body of this message was, please stop reaching out to me when you come to Hawaii. I'm very busy. I have a fractured spine. I can no longer... Please respect my family's privacy. My privacy during this difficult time. That would have been awkward. Thankfully, it's not what Hess is saying. Let's see. I'd love to take you to random places.

Like Don Quixote Or go see the military's planes Do we think Don Quixote Is maybe a bar restaurant Type of thing?

Sounds like it to me Or it's a maybe Could it be a land Some sort of a natural

Could it be some kind of Maybe it looks like a windmill Or it's maybe something Is it just like a memorial Dedicated to Cervantes? Is that who wrote Don Quixote?

I think so I can't fact check you on it. It sounds right to me. I can't figure this out. Is it just a little store? It might just be a little store.

Like a mini mart. Yeah. More on mini marts coming up today, Andrew. I actually have thoughts. I'm not even kidding you. Anyway, we can change the itinerary upon request. As Andrew and Genevieve always say in After These Messages, come find me. Come find me. Shout out to Megan Lerkamp and Liz Muter Rotmare. Again, thank you guys for what you have created And I look forward to the evolution of the show After TBTL Independence Day 2023 I do too, Hess We're going to see what happens So thank you again for being such a Long-standing supporter of the program We really, really do appreciate you

So if you're out there, come find me Hello and welcome to Top Story

I don't know if this rises to the level of Top Story, but I did have someone on Instagram hitting me up. I put a picture yesterday up of I bought this kiddie pool. It's not really a kiddie pool. It's the size of a kiddie pool, but it's inflatable. It's very stylish, and they're advertised on Instagram heavily. And you know me. Instagram is more able to, I don't know what, drive my behaviors than any other advertising platform because they just have my aesthetic figured out. And so I bought this little kiddie pool, and I put a picture up of it at the place, the house I'm working on. And somebody wrote, I was expecting this to be a picture of a U-Haul pulling a boat, but now I have to tune in tomorrow to the show. That's good broadcasting. So here we are delivering on our good broadcasting promise. I did, over the weekend, fly up to Bellingham, uh get my um go to the storage unit well rent a u-haul go to a storage unit fill the u-haul with stuff from the storage unit go get the boat and tow it all back down to southern washington state now let me start with the mini mart related conversation that i had just forward promoted only moments ago this is the problem with the u-haul system have you rented a u-haul in a while

no it's been a while but the last time i did a guy yelled at me calm down it's hot out there

really yeah we don't have to get into that now so uh the thing that u-haul has what i just remember being in college or maybe my younger years it felt like if you were gonna rent a u-haul you went over to the like u-haul store right and then like that's a place they sell boxes there's eight million trucks there's a line of people that are having the worst day of their life because they're moving and uh you know they're trying to get you to rent moving blankets and all that that was how

it worked well sounds like you wanted to interject something no that was me actually bumping the

microphone sorry about that no problem so i am now in the internet age of course andrew they did they'd really rather you didn't talk to a person about anything. They'd really rather that you just keep getting shunted to the U-Haul app. And so what that ends up doing is you rent the truck like I did in Bellingham. You fly up there and you get in a lift and you go to where the U-Haul store is and the truck, except when you get there, it's just a gas station mini mart with a truck and a drop box and a guy working in the mini mart who could not possibly know less about what the situation is yeah like i figured i got there's like oh it's a gas station okay i'm gonna go in and then the guy's gonna have a clipboard and i'm gonna have to fill it out and he was it was like he had never heard of the letters u h a u l yeah like i mean he wasn't mean about it he was just like he also did not appear to be the owner of the mini mart yeah Right. Yeah. Like he just worked there. Maybe if you own it, then you're like used. He was just like, yeah, I don't know literally anything about the trucks, which meant I had to stand in this parking lot trying to log in through the app and go through all these steps and take pictures of my driver's license and do all this stuff. And then, of course, none of it would go through because the reservation had expired. Then I had to call the 800 number. Now, I will give them this. The person who answered the phone was actually. actually very helpful they i thought this is like a lost cause like seriously i'm standing in this parking lot there are these lot there's a lock box um there's no way the person i'm on the phone with is going to be able to walk me through this process they've never been to the chevron on samish way in bellingham like this is just they're going to be reading off a script and they're going to have you located the drop the lock box and i'll go yes and they'll go uh you know like well then you're supposed to get the key out of there i'm like yeah i know anyway they were able to walk me through it it was pretty annoying but i got the truck i will tell you this one of the trucks the tray like the electrical from the where the boat trailer needs to hook up to the truck that electrical piece was weird like it looked kind of broken and kind of bad so i had to be really clear like and they had two trucks and one of them it looked fine and one of them looked jacked up and i was like i gotta have the one that's not jacked up and the lady on the phone goes i don't know if our 10 it's a 10 foot truck i rented i don't know if our 10 foot trucks are actually authorized to tow a boat and i was like um well then i'm not going to tow a boat with this one yeah just like then uh yeah i forget forget that whole boat thing so anyway i get the truck i i get all the stuff loaded up and um then it's time on sunday to go get the boat now if you remember this thing had been sitting in the side yard of burbank springs for many years carrie was reasonably ready for it to be out of her life the problem was that the axle had completely

like just sort of rusted out the tires were flat the axle was bad and it was just not and the electrical didn't work like the turn lights and brake lights it was just not ready for prime time but because of the pandemic and supply chain things you couldn't buy a boat trailer anywhere like there was like a six-month wait and used boat trailers were selling for like ten thousand dollars on like craigslist and so the solution was my sainted neighbor rich went over and through a variety of youtube video watching and asking for advice from other people he jacked this thing up and actually changed the axle changed the springs on there put new tires on and got it all ship shape or so i thought when i went to pick it up at this marine store like this um boat storage place where it's been sitting the last few months the guy who runs it who's a friend of of rich's a guy named jimmy just salted the earth dude he said oh yeah funny story you know um the uh axle was on upside down when they brought it over here he's like i just fixed it he goes it's super easy i have a lift i just jacked it up and he goes but you know in rich's defense he sent me a link to a youtube video he watched and the guy on the youtube video

installed the axle upside down so oh so i wasn't sure if your neighbor knew that he if it had been revealed to him that he put it in an upside down because i figured that would be the type of thing

you wouldn't say to rich well no and you know you know what jimmy said he said i'm not gonna tell he goes i was gonna bust his balls but um he's on a trip in europe and i didn't want to ruin his trip so i'm gonna tell him when he gets back which i was like that's very that's being a good friend that's so funny so i'm very happy to report that it turns out you absolutely can tow a boat with a u-haul truck and in fact it's kind of ideal because the this big box right it's kind of a wind break so like the boat tows very easily behind it because it's kind of drafting you know if that makes any sense and the u-haul had plenty of power the little you know turn signals and brake lights everything worked great i was passing people so i mean i wasn't going crazy i was expecting to drive down i5 in the far right lane with my hazards on like i was thinking this is like a three and a half hour trip but it's probably gonna i'm gonna it's gonna take me seven hours i might have to stop in like chehalis or something and just like you know give like water down the horses and give them a rest take their saddle off you know just like i just thought it was going to be so arduous and it was totally fine like it was it was a total piece of cake and what was perfect andrew and i'm not trying to take this back to sports town but the final game between the mariners and the pittsburgh pirates were happening on uh on sunday and it was ideal because i got on the road and i was able to listen to the show of the game on the radio on the real radio which is a treat for me not my serious app i was just listening on 710 seattle sports and cruising down the highway and it was a very very exciting game it was extra innings you know we were leading and then we surrendered the lead which i was of course pretty frustrated about and then we had some chance we were like we were on the ropes there at one point because they had runners at first and third with no outs and this guy who we now call sauce pitching which i love that that's his nickname and i'm just driving like it was it was weird the games how do i explain this the way that most of the mariners games now integrate into my life in Portland is I will watch it if I'm home or watch some of it I will listen to some of it I rarely go from like the first pitch or even the pregame show to like the end of the postgame show like I don't usually do that but because I was in this U-Haul and I'm just sitting on I-5 driving down the road I was riveted and for it to have the outcome that it did I was at that point somewhere south of Olympia I was like first of all I was crossing my fingers while driving that sauce would get a strikeout wow so wait it was you all along that we get the thank for the win on sunday i mean i don't even do like i don't do that stuff anymore i know it doesn't matter but like this was the most this was the most engaged in a mariners baseball game

i've probably been all year again because of just having nothing else going on yeah yeah and like it's a sunny sunday everything's working everything's functioning and like i'm you know and then when gino suarez hit that home run when i tell you i shrieked with joy people were probably like that person is having a medical situation we need to help him the guy in the u-haul but i was just it was so fun i found it to be instead of what i thought which was going to be a total slog

I found it to just be an absolutely lovely Sunday drive this on Sunday when that happened I was at my volunteer gig and so we weren't listening to the game but me and this other woman who were volunteering on Sunday are both very much into the Mariners she's got like a little Mariners flag on her car like she always comes in kind of hot like she's in charge of the table where we hand out kind of like toiletries or whatever. and like she comes in like she comes running over with like her face buried in her phone when she shows up for her shift on sunday because she's just like watching the at bat app to figure out like where we are and so well so she and i are just kind of always checking in during during the like hour that we're out there and then um at the end of the shift around four o'clock she goes to grab her car and move it closer so we can start loading it up full of like boxes and all of a sudden she's moving her car closer to where we have our tables set up and she just starts wildly honking her horn this is a woman like i i don't i don't know her age she's a little bit older than me you know and she's just like she starts honking her horn i'm like either somebody's attacking susan or something good happened in the in the mariners game and that's how i found out that uh eugenio hit that uh home run but anyway um you know there are times you love that broadcast so much can i tell you that there are times that i'm listening to a baseball game on the radio and it ends especially if it's like a mariners win and i might go to click off the radio right after the game because i'm like i've got other things to do i've got dan lebitard to listen to now right but then i'll think wait a second no no that's luke's favorite part of the game i'll turn it back on because i know your favorite thing after a mariner's win is to listen to the kind of like

the recap of the scoring recap of the game i was like and let's be honest i love all those folks that do that broadcast but there's not like there's not an hour and a half of more content that's needed but like i listened to all of it while i was driving like you know that when we come back from the break this is now literally like 60 to 70 minutes after the game's over uh we're gonna talk about uh rainier's pitching you know like it's just we there's just not enough to really say but i was just like i'm here for for all of this so um the good news is that the move went relatively easy as far as the boat towing the boat so it actually works so you didn't have

to i was ready for some real um tales of daring do but i mean this is this is fine too i guess no But you didn't have to back it up anywhere. You didn't roll over anything. You didn't taco any plant stands. Everything was smooth.

No planters tacoed. I did remember your advice, which I had also been internalizing, which was ever forward. Ever forward, yes. Well, a couple of things. I gassed the truck up to the max in Bellingham before I picked up the boat, which I think was smart because then I didn't have to get gas the whole drive. It also, when I dropped it off, it was at exactly the level of gas I needed it to be at. So that was kind of – that was sort of nice. I will say, though, this morning – okay, so I was unloading everything yesterday and doing stuff at the house. So I stayed at the house last night, and then I got up really early this morning to come down – back down here to record with you before I fly out to Arkansas. And I'm driving, and the U-Haul just texts me like a link. They're like, this is where you're supposed to return it. And I'm like, okay. And it's on Mississippi Avenue in Portland. And if people listening know Portland, Mississippi, this part of Mississippi is it's sort of like I'm trying to think of a Seattle analog for it. It's maybe a little bit like Capitol Hill or something. Mississippi is a very cool sort of arts district of Portland. There's lots of little bars and venues and things. And I'm driving this U-Haul down the street and I'm like, there is nothing on this street.

that is a place you take a u-haul truck to and i'm i'm like i'm i'm parked on just like a regular street in a regular parking spot and i'm like i'm looking at the address and i'm looking up and i'm like there's no way this is where i'm supposed to be leaving this truck right i'm like this is but it's what the address says and so i park it i go through again this is the thing that's so annoying is they just don't want the company doesn't want you to interact with any humans you literally get a an answering machine when you call it that says you can get faster service by using the u-haul app um put your um you know hit one if you want us to text you the link to it and i'm like i don't need you to text me the link to it i need you to have more human beings in person working here because and i finally i walk the neighborhood and notice that literally behind a bar like there's a big outdoor bar like with picnic tables and whatever if you strain your eyes through a you're gonna hear it again andrew chain link fence they call them hurricane fences if you look through a hurricane fence through the area of the bar you see a trailer way in the back of this parking lot that's you know like again all set up for outdoor drinking that you i can just see like a trailer that has some u-haul like whatever you want to call it like some kind of um like there's a sign or something i'm like oh that's got to be what this thing is talking about so i get in the truck and i drive it around the alley to get back closer to it and actually find this like they have a parking area behind it i parked the thing but they don't have anywhere to drop the key off and this place is so i mean so like locked up like it's just it's chain link fence it's hurricane fence everywhere with barbed wire on top of it and it is locked like everywhere because i'm thinking maybe i can sneak through a hole in the fence and just leave the key on the you know front door of this place maybe i can climb the fence i'm i'm there was one part that wasn't uh razor wired so i was like maybe i can climb over this but are they going to call the cops on me they're thinking i'm breaking in when really i'm just trying to return their key i call the 800 number again and i'm like my timeline this morning was really tight right like it was like i gotta do this i gotta get back home i gotta pack for this trip i gotta call andrew like i was like i do not have time to wait until whenever this place allegedly opens at 9 a.m like i gotta be on my way and i called and i was really expecting the person on the phone to be totally unhelpful but i gotta say she was like um well can you put it in the drop box they don't have a drop box she goes okay well then here's what you should probably do put the key under lock the driver's door put the key under the driver's seat take a picture of it close the passenger door but don't lock it i was like oh cool i was like well can you tell the people here when they come that that's where it is she goes yeah i can put it in the file so i was like i loved that they had a system for this because i was like i was really ready to like if i like

left the key on the seat or if i hucked the key over the fence to have a whole situation yeah where they were like you never gave us the key you did not follow the procedure um then the fact you've

like filed a report is good you know what i mean it sounds like the communication is good because like if you were just like i don't know they don't have a lockbox i'll just like freelance this and do what seems like makes the most sense then you could get like this sort of again this like this person who runs a different business but just has a u-haul parked on their property as this kind of a side gig who doesn't give as much of a shit like you could have them freaking out on you for locking a key in the car or whatever you had chosen to do exactly so i just was like i did that

system now of course right before you and i dialed up i got a call from a 503 number which was the u-haul people and this lady was like like i call it back uh i never answer a call that i don't recognize but i was like i wonder if that's the u-haul of people it said clarence's flowers on the info i was like that doesn't because that's what all these things are right they're all something else that happens to have a little u-haul side hustle and clarence's flat so i call clarence's flowers and she goes clarence's flowers and i go hi is this also the u-haul she goes yeah i'm the guy who left the truck behind your thing she goes yeah where's the key and i go well per the instructions from the 800 number i put it under the driver's seat and the passenger door is unlocked and it's like a long pause and the lady goes well i guess i gotta climb through the passenger seat and reach under the yeah drivers that's what you're gonna do oh guess i gotta install a drop box for the keys like what did she expect that's and i said i was like yeah part of me was like you do have to do that that's that's just that's how this is gonna go you're gonna have to like did she think i was gonna come back and climb through the passenger side and grab the key for her like you guys weren't open when you were supposed to be open and you didn't have a drop box and is that that big of a deal like well i mean i don't want to make her sound she wasn't mean she was just i could tell she wasn't looking for and i don't know you know physically what's going on for her but but this was the funny part i said

i go do you have a drop box it's outside the perimeter of your like all the locked stuff and she goes we did and someone stole it and then they stole the truck so we don't have one anymore which i was like that's a pretty smart hustle you just steal the lock box you take it somewhere you cut it open now you know you have the keys to the u-haul so yeah i should have thought of that so i guess it was like well i guess that's why this thing is like guantanamo because they had a lock box someone stole the lock box and then stole the truck yeah then then yeah now now i feel really

bad for them and i now i'm mad i feel mad at whoever did that that's no i mean i feel bad

that's a shitty thing to do but i also feel like there's got to be there has to be a better system than we just don't have a lock box anymore yeah i don't know what that system is how about like a pneumatic how about you go home depot on it you have a pneumatic tube that you can put the keys in It gets sucked up and then moved over and then dropped off at a lockbox that's safely inside the perimeter. And it pays for itself after a million rentals. That's all. I did also this morning, Andrew, watch the first episode of, again, amidst all of this, I did find time to watch I Think You Should Leave the first episode of season three. And I will tell you, I was lolling. I was literally laughing out loud. it's you know it's it doesn't feel at least the first episode it doesn't feel like anything i haven't seen from these people before but i love what they're doing exactly yeah i mean i haven't

watched it but that's what i'm that's kind of the same thing with season two for me and i again i've said i really i really liked season two maybe even more and that may have to do more than season one and that might have to do with my experience of watching it um but uh yeah no i mean it it hits for me so no need to change up that formula it's also like it's quick hits right there's still only 15 minute shows so you know you don't have to reinvent the wheel and the sketches are really short any party harderson uh not in season not in episode one that i saw but i did there's a fred

armison oh okay uh i'm not giving anything away but fred armison's character is this kind of put upon dad of like tweens and in order to try to get them to respect him more he gets this there's a company um i think they're called street scenes and they'll they'll make a video of you beating someone up on the street as a cautionary tale and it's him beating up a kid except it's very clearly not a kid it's like an older guy in like a wig is it to make is it to put the fear in the kids that he's gonna beat them up or make himself look cooler in front of it's to put the fear of god in his kids that he sometimes beats up kids if he needs to so that they'll start treating him with more respect and it's it's it's pretty great there's also a character tim robinson hosts a like a hot talk like a sort of a cnn or msnbc or even i guess fox news like political talk show where he debates people but his move is when he starts losing the debate he just starts looking at his phone like really sullenly i mean it's yeah it's i i uh i'm so i have them of two minds i kind of want to like download this onto my laptop and watch it when i'm flying to arkansas later today but i also want to savor them and legitimately andrew i am a bit worried that i will seem unhinged on the flight oh yeah because not only do i think you should leave sketch actually right because not only do i feel more like emotional when i'm on a flight um in terms of like if i'm watching a sad movie or something that's kind of feels emotionally impactful famously on this show i have cried watching a reese witherspoon and chris pine movie that was i believe allegedly a rom-com like uh so that part of my feelings are really elevated but also my laughing is really elevated i remember reading a simon rich book on a flight and like weeping from laughter like uncontrollable like heaving chest like leaning into i was in the window seat leaning into the window trying to shield everyone sitting near me from what i was doing because i was sobbing with laughter and it's a very funny book i think it's called the last girlfriend on earth and the one of the one of the essays is about a guy every somehow every woman on earth has has passed away through some kind of pandemic or whatever there's one woman left and it happened she happened to be dating the guy who's writing the essay and what's happening is she is being flown to DC to like by helicopter to have dinner with the president who's just wants to be friends with her she's constantly she's constantly being approached by every man on the planet and

And is very like, we're just friends and it's driving the guy who's writing the essay crazy because he's like very convinced that there's something else going on. Anyway, my point is, I think if I watch this, I think you should leave on an airplane. I think it may be another sob laughing situation, which I don't I don't know if the if the citizens of Alaska Airlines are really ready for that.

Oh, they're ready for it. That's that's the best thing they'll deal with all day is somebody who's having too much fun on the airplane.

That's a good point. Okay, well, maybe I will then.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

We didn't get to the Netflix story, but we can talk about that tomorrow because there is some interesting stuff that I didn't know about what the actual official rules are now. So we will get into that tomorrow. In the meantime, any emails or V-mails that you are interested in today?

Yeah, this is one that I have been meaning to do some research on, and then I looked into it and seemed like too much research for me. So I'm going to throw this out to the listeners, if they care. We had a voicemail. I'm sorry. We had a dazzling donor message from listener Kelly Cam a couple of weeks ago. It was a short message, I believe, and it ended with the line, OK, Edge, play the blues. And I thought that was funny. I remember kind of spoofing on that before. That's a line from a song in Rattle and Hum by U2. And so, you know, we we had a quick laugh about that and reminisce that that used to be kind of a bigger spoof in our in our little universe. And I got this note from listener Vanessa in Adelaide, who I believe we met over Zoom. I believe Vanessa is in Adelaide, Australia, Adelaide, Australia. Exactly.

She's the one with the chickens.

Exactly. I believe so. And Vanessa says, I am emailing you today because I am shook and because other tens on the stands Facebook page said I should reach out. And here I am bowing to peer pressure while listening to last Friday show. You think dazzling don't you think a dazzling donor who made reference to you, too, not knowing what the blues were. And you guys made a comment that led me to think they've forgotten the whole bit. I'll set the scene. It was 2017 mid to late July, maybe early to mid August. I was enjoying a four week road trip of a lifetime visiting my near neighbors in New Zealand. You and Luke had a fabulous TBTL classic convo, all caps, about Bono and the whole play the blues thing. Those are spelled with Ks. Yes, exactly. Classic TBTL combo. That Bono says during the concert to Edge, and then he goes and plays something on the guitar, which is clearly nothing like the blues. It was then that you both said, has anyone in U2 even listened to the blues? This is a special, precious memory of mine as I was listening to this driving on a trip through New Zealand with my husband who doesn't listen to the show but has a common interest in having a laugh at what a joke Bono is. We laughed long and hard. Do you remember anything about this? Anyway, this definitely rings a bell. I do remember this, by the way. I went and I started poking around some of those episodes. I don't think it happened during a summer. I think we might have even been running reruns back then. This might have been pre-summer games. So anyway, I started looking through the archives. Nothing jumped out at me. You know, this is one of those spoofs that just goes by. It doesn't make the description. So if anybody has the tape, I'd listen to it.

But this is but we didn't we. So I do remember that conversation happening. And was that something that we had just again? You probably don't know. But like, was that original like reporting from us? Or was there already this meme? Edge plays the blue. I think that was just us. I think that's what I'm saying. I think we might have. But then didn't we the other day find something? I was Googling around for that when it came up in the Dazzling Donor message, and I thought I found some other kind of meme page or something that was explaining this is what that means. In other words, I'm trying to figure out if we invented that joke or made that observation or if it's been made multiple times or if it was already out there. I am pretty confident

well, as confident as I get that this was just a conversation between you and I and kind of reminiscing about that it probably just started with a U2 conversation me saying one of the only records I really like is Rattle and Hum okay Edge, play the blues and then we probably played it I just remember it to the degree that I do I remember it being just sort of a riff that you and I were kind of stumbled onto if it's blown up into a bigger meme thing I'm unaware of that

I'm trying to find it on YouTube right now There's just something called Okay Edge dot dot dot Play the Blues But it only has like I don't know A thousand views So that doesn't seem like that's You know like I don't think that's a known I don't think it's a known bit So clearly that Dazzling Donor was

referencing the tbtl uh reference it's a classic combo it's a classic combo classic oh no convo

i think it was yeah tbtl classic i want to i want to um biggie i want a classic combo tbtl classic combo biggie size um and i want to um the extra ranch on the side please you know i went through

it hey luke i went through a drive-thru the other day by myself at a burger king like by myself i I mean, was I a little nervous? Yes, I always get nervous when driving.

Did you consume the food in the vehicle as well?

No, I was cat sitting for a friend, and it was a Saturday, and I had no agenda. And I was like, you know what? This is the perfect day for me to go get maybe my quad yearly Burger King. What do you go for? I get a Whopper. I get a double Whopper. Why are you lying to the people, Andrew? They love you the way you are. I got a double Whopper. Sure. On the way there, I was yelling at my phone. It's plugged into my car system. I'm saying, what comes standard on a Whopper? Because I realized that there was a time in my life when I only had ketchup and pickle. I would always order my hamburgers just ketchup and pickle. And then I'm adding more and more things over time. Well, ketchup, pickle, mustard, and onion, or whatever. You know, just like they say in the song, it's my way, right away, whatever the song goes for Burger King. But then I'm like, wait a second, I'm ordering so many things on this Whopper. What comes standard? Maybe I should, maybe I'm at a point in my life where I should just tell them what I don't want on it. Like, hold the, am I in the hold the stage of this? My phone was no help. It made me so mad. I'm saying to my phone, what comes standard on a Whopper? I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. Like, are you serious? That seems like a very knowable thing.

It's knowable.

Come on. Jesus Christ. Anyway, I figure it out. I go through the drive-thru. No ice, Luke. Now, this is the Burger King on Aurora. It's not in the best, like, it's not. Oh, they're out of ice. It's not the fanciest neighborhood. But I'm like, yeah, make it a combo with the onion rings. the whole deal she's like okay no problem but just so you know we don't have any ice i'm just like well then i don't i mean is there anything sadder than like getting a a soda on aurora handed to you through a window with no ice room temperature good lord i had a similar it's funny

andrew we were wishing on the same subservient chicken which was a burger king thing they did once um i had a weird incident not weird incident but i like burger king um just fine and also they do have that uh impossible whopper oh yeah that's that's pretty pretty tasty it is cooked on a griddle that also had meat on it so if you're a purist it's not the probably best but uh i pulled up i rolled up and uh i was gonna get that and some fries and a diet coke because my body is a temple only the dietist of coke will do for this temple and uh the woman uh the person at the drive-thru said i just have to let you know i'd ordered the whole thing and she goes just to let you know we don't have any soda oh this is like a week ago what's going on the whole thing is no soda yeah and she said something about their carbonation i'm sure there's some you know some tank or more upsettingly some plastic bladder yeah yeah that's the flavoring it's in those don't ever look don't you know never meet your heroes andrew because you'll find out that they're just a plastic bladder of flavoring that lives in a cardboard box beneath where the

soda is all being made the bladder worries me less than the gun or the spout you know that

everything comes out of i just think there's something very uncanny about a bag of liquid that's in a box that's how i'm getting it like but anyway um so that was out and and then i said okay well i'm gonna skip it then and she seemed totally shocked and i was like you cannot have a burger and fries and not a soda i mean maybe a milkshake but like what am i gonna get a milk

i went i went across the street got myself a big uh uh iced tea i was like that's what seems right to me on a summer day if i get this burger but i did have to go to a second location for that

right i mean i mean what sort of person can eat a a fast food combo meal and not have a soda pop with it to me it's like don't it's not even do it fine i'm gonna go get like um a salad then or

something now that i could have with water sure yeah but no fries and a burger or burger like yeah you need some sort of a soda there yeah and ideally you know a soda fountain drink with ice that is rattling around in the cup because i would have even gone if they were like we're out of diet

coke this is this is how weird i am about stuff andrew because i have not been other than intermittent fasting i'm not particularly careful at all about how i eat lately which is something i need to work But I would it would be really hard for me to order a regular Coke at a fast food restaurant, even though I'm eating a burger and fries that are many, many, many calories. Something about that last hundred calories from the soda would be tough. I would have to just say, Luke, you're already eating a thousand calories of fast food. Have eleven hundred, buddy.

You know, I thought you were going to say that you'd almost take it like.

Like, oh, okay, if you only have non-diet Coke, I guess I'll take a regular Coke. I thought you'd almost be, like, happy that the universe was pushing it onto your lap. Like, twist my arm. That's not the case, huh?

No, and this is why it's a hang-up, because it doesn't really make sense, because it's not a big difference between having a real soda and not if you're already eating that. But I have, over the years, over the 20 years, where I just never drink, I rarely drink sugary soda. I drink a fair amount of diet soda And zero sugar soda There's something where drinking a real coke While eating something that's also bad for me Is almost more than my mind can handle In terms of what I feel like it's doing to me But it's not logical And that's where it's a little disordered Because the way my brain is processing the information Is not commensurate to what's really happening to me It doesn't matter But it feels like a big deal to me I'm very specific Like, if I'm at a bar and I'm ordering, like, a Jameson, it's always with, like, a Diet Coke on the side. And that's also one of those ones where a person will be like, well, we're out of Diet Coke. And I'll be like, okay, real Coke. And then I realize how silly I sound because I'm slugging down poison.

Yeah, right. Let me ask you this, though. We do have to wrap up here cognizant of your schedule. But aside from the mental aspect of this, and you're right, it does sound a little disorder-y. Um, but, um, and I don't mean that in a judgy way. I mean, obviously I got tons of shit like that, but, um, do you even enjoy a full sugar Coke now? Or have you, are you out of the, okay, you still would prefer it if it weren't for that.

Absolutely. And like so-called Mexican Coke.

Yeah. With real sugar. With real sugar.

Oh, that's a little slice of heaven. Uh, yeah, no, I mean, I, I, but that does happen to people. In fact, we've got a mutual friend who she just loves Diet Coke because that's the flavor she enjoys. It's her basically her I wouldn't even say vice, but it's like her only vice is her D.C. And it's because she's had so much of it that she no longer she doesn't want Coca-Cola. She wants Diet Coke.

Yeah. Yeah. And I was wondering if that was the same for you, too, after all this time that like a regular Coke is just too sweet.

No, I've still like sometimes, like I said, it'll be the only option or maybe I'm somewhere and it's like in the bottle. I mean, also just the tactile experience of a glass bottle of real Coca-Cola. I mean, maybe it was all the commercials as a kid that I was bashed over the head of the Cindy Crawfords of the world. Although, was she actually in a Pepsi commercial? I mean, that would be Pepsi. That's pretty funny. That tells you how ineffective some of that advertising is. but yeah that idea of just like the ice cold coca-cola on a very hot dusty day that is that's that's something i still would very much enjoy so all right uh let's go ahead and uh wrap it on up here for this tuesday but we will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you so please do join us for that in the meantime have a great rest of your tuesday take care yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

Okay, Edge, play the blues.

Power out.