Muse

Ladders. They can be your stairway to heaven, or your ticket to hell. Every year, clueless dolts get up high on ladders, while high on beer, wine, and other mind-altering liquors. Sure, our society makes light of ladders. Champion ladder climbers grace our every cereal box. And ladder-themed entertainment keeps our children in stitches. But in real life, these climbing machines can be killing machines. TBTL Hey, Julia, can you say TBTL?

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T B B T L

I'm doing the work. I'm baby stepping. I'm not a slacker. Look, man, you know your stuff, but you're like a crazy volcano. You'd have to show me you can bring it down a notch. I'll bring it down a thousand notches if I have to!

Okay, are we done with the business part? I wanted to start the clown portion of the meeting.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. my name is luke burbank i am your host oh you've gobbled your last ghoul coming to you from the hollywood broadcast center right here in portland oregon coffee in the big time where it is kind of gray and cloudy but i believe going to be very warm later and a beautiful environment for us to do episode 3957 in a collector's series let the fun begin and i gotta tell you something i ran into a massively illogical retail situation in the portland airport the other day it's time for operation crazy plan i said this on i think yesterday's edition of the program but when it happened when the illogical part kicked in i was i'm not overstating this i was so angry but i also thought well this will be tbtl content so we're going to provide you that content coming up also uh pedro pascal from the last of us also known as the mandadorian well there's an update about his mandadorian character in that that is it part of stars

that's part of stars here's some money go see a

star war I hope it is anyway we'll talk about that also you know some people want you to take your your shoes off

in their house that was the fanciest sentence I've ever heard and I used to watch Frasier

well there is some science around the shoes off in the house policy so we will talk about that also it's a Thursday aka So we'll talk birthday messages and we'll talk to this guy, the longest running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships, their grace, their splendor and that intricate rigging. He is Andrew. Fire at all. Well, she's joining me right now. Andrew, I'm very sorry about the Kimmy Schmidt drop. There was one drop in the litany of sound checks we do That apparently we did not check It was that one, I am so sorry

Well, the listeners may not know I might be able to fix it in post God, I'm so sorry It sounds like also, oops, I'm having trouble speaking Also, there was a misfire Do you want me in post to put a drop in Where you paused for a drop and there wasn't one Because I could put one in And then that would make this conversation null and void

The sad part is it's this

Stinky! Oh, yeah. There. Listeners, just go back and put that in there. I'm in a bit of a conundrum myself here, Luke. I don't kind of know exactly how to proceed. Because you just sent me the show sheet. I heard you talk about everything that's coming up in the show today. It sounds good to me. We'll take that. A lot of good topics. I don't know if listener Matt is personally interested in all of those topics, though. And so I don't know. I got an email from Matt who was disappointed in Tuesday's show because of all the baseball talk and wants us to move baseball talk to a part of the show where he can turn it off.

Does he not understand stories that are not about sports but are about humanity?

Or broadcasting. Even Zoom-anity? But it's one of those things where at first I'm like, well, it's just baseball talk. Just fast forward it. But then I'm like, no. if we're not only doing topics that are personally interested to listener Matt what are we

doing here right like what if shoes in the house is not interesting to matt and he doesn't know in

advance that he can't fast forward that right i mean this is one of the basic this is like you and i've been in in broadcasting for what like combined probably almost 50 years no that's good christ is that true well i'm 47 i got into it at 20 so i'm 27 years in how about yeah no i got into They do it in like the 90s, right? And the thing they teach you, this is in Talker's Magazine, this is in R&R Report. It's like the thing they always ask is, is it mad enough for you? You match, bro, is one of the headlines they put in Talker's Magazine. And if you've not achieved that, you need to go back to square one. You need to really consider what you're doing here.

So I hope I haven't put my poison in you because I'm really nervous. Like, what if we go forward and Matt's like, ooh, this isn't really interested in, you know, I'm not interested in this either. Do we move this to the end of the show? Can we do everything at the end of the show?

No, no, I have a solution. Yeah. I'm a power user of the Howard Stern show. And Howard Stern spent the last probably two to three episodes talking about the New York Knicks. Although he doesn't know any of the names of any of the New York Knicks. But he is undeterred from his opinions. here's what here here's what howard stern was recently saying to his millions of listeners about sports he thinks only the white players come over and acknowledge him when he's at

courtside seats i was about to ask you about that that is what you always say about a eugenio no i was gonna seriously when you brought him up and him talking about sports i've only heard and i heard it on a couple of different shows just glancing references to this idea that howard stern things only white players like him and i didn't have any context for it and i was wondering is this a topic on the show what a what a fraught topic from an old white man fraught is the most generous way to describe what is he say so he's saying this on his show i don't know he's just

all over the map like we are andrew and my ultimate point is calm down matt like like if you think our sports talk is bad you should check out the most popular radio host in america sports segments and then get back to us are people on his show pushing back no because

one per i just heard somebody say i think i was listening to like the 710 show in the afternoons with stacy rost i always say her name wrong but it's no you said exactly right the reason i know

is because last night on the plane I was listening to the baseball game on my little Sirius whatever app and Stacey Rost was doing a bunch of advertisements for some kind of pizza product. Pizza Hut, yes. And she kept saying, I'm Stacey Rost.

Yes, and I always, for some reason, I listen to that show more than I listen to any probably live radio show, but I still call her Tracy Rost sometimes. I don't know why I do that. but anyway um i have i have a pronunciation sports thing i want to talk about later good but anyway yeah so i just i think i maybe heard her and michael bumpus a while back talking about how he's got this theory that only white players talk to him and people are like well it's maybe it's just because nobody knows who you are anymore like these young players you're pretty irrelevant like what is the i mean what is the conversation on the howard stern side of things and are people

on the staff being like you're crazy no one says you're crazy because it is it's not a universe that allows for that it's not it's not a how do you how would you describe it it's it's just not an ecosystem where anyone is allowed to question how it is to me much like the simpsons in that bart simpson is the least interesting simpson howard stern is the least interesting stern But also he pays everyone's salary So no one is allowed to say What?

Is Daniel Stern the most interesting Stern?

Well he's one of the least successful burglars But one of the most Okay bike riders I'm just going to keep going

In Breaking Away Oh I've never seen Breaking Away Anyway sorry

No one talks about that It's just a thing that Howard Stern tends to go towards In that show uh him going to the it's also very funny because he doesn't want anyone to know that he lives in a different mansion in florida in other words he lives in a what he has an amazing you know uh what would you call it uh not house but kind of like um a new york city apartment but that spans

an entire floor okay yeah yeah like a not a penthouse but a penthouse yeah he lives in like

a new york penthouse he also has an amazing mansion i think on long island and then has an insane house near mar-a-lago in florida and he bounces between the long island place and the florida place but he also never wants anyone to know that he lives in a different mansion which is one of the problems i also run into on this show right how wait how many houses do you how many houses do you have that you don't talk about who uh i have one where none of the black new york nicks want to talk to

at which is yeah it's uh that's a weird take man that's it's such a bad it's bad i wouldn't say weird i would say bad just bad it makes me it makes me uncomfortable well the good news is his co-host is not a a black woman well that's why i wonder like she can push back right rob and again i'm a you know i've listened here and there to the show i don't get the show probably as much as i as as much as somebody listens all the time but like you know i think i have a a general feeling for the vibe of the show and the rhythm of the show and i feel like robin can push back no in a it

probably in the way that you can push back on me and that's not and that's not saying that like i'm howard stern and you're robin or that i have you know any of that kind of pull on this show but like it's interesting to listen to her every once in a while uh once in a while kind of try to gently say like not even say but just like like you said push back on it but it's so so mild one of Howard Stern's major gripes is that his parents moved him to a place called Roosevelt Long Island when he was a kid which I think at that time was a maybe had a heavy sort of African-American population in the high school and his whole thing every oftentimes when he will have an African-American guest on he will tell them i know what it was like to be you because i grew up on roosevelt long island real real thing that happens and that he says and then you just kind of hear robin sort of trying to i don't know handle slash but push to the tiniest bit back but not so much also robin has a certain amount of like sort of respectability politics from i think generationally in other words you know being i think older than us a bit uh so that's something i i would i hear that she's kind of working with like that's her journey yeah but like to hear this guy howard stern who may not have grown up you know privileged but definitely was i mean he he'll occasionally let drop something like well my my old man we were so poor my old man never told me how much money we had until he died it's like but you also know how it's like to be a person of color because yeah you grew up on roosevelt long on one time this is basically me talking through you to our friend phyllis fletcher andrew okay one time he was and uh howard was complaining just call me phyllis for the rest of the segment p fletch one time howard was complaining about how much money he made at a radio station in detroit and i actually took the time i'm sure listeners do some version of this with me not so much financially but just when i say something wild they go let me fact check that he said what he made a week at the station in detroit and he said it like you know i was i was living in poverty i actually took the number and i adjusted it for inflation i went on the internet i said how much does this amount of money in 1978 dollars equate to now and it was like 800 000 a year it was so provably a lot of money like oh yeah you got paid fine for your first job on radio wow okay so i guess this is um we cannot take you at your word when you talk about your challenges.

You know what this does for me, what I know now, what this means for me the rest of the day, and by the way, I welcome this. This is not snarky, but this means, especially since you were talking through me to P. Fletch, this means that once P. Fletch listens to this episode, you two will talk about the Howard Stern show on the text chain. Would you like to not be on that? Because it's going to go and go and go. And you guys will just go, I'll be copied on all of it because you started this conversation with me, but I'll have no idea. I'm like, I don't know who's brain teaser Larry, whatever.

You don't get into how rude he's being about Ronnie's wedding.

I invite it. I love watching people geek out over shit. How much data do you have? Yeah, what's my friends and stuff?

Are you on nights and weekends?

Yeah, exactly.

Hey, can I tell you about this thing? Oh, yeah, yeah. As a person who grew up African-American on Long Island, can I tell you about a thing that's really, really, really chapping my hide?

Yeah, what happened? Okay.

So, uh, last week, I think it was last week, Becca and I were going down to San Diego. I was doing some TV stuff down there and, um, we were passing through the Portland airport and I realized that I had forgotten my sunglasses. And so, and you know, there's a variety, there's not a sunglass hut in a PDX, which I would love. Like I'm a big fan of the airport sunglass hut because they sell all of the name brands. It's just in a hut. It's just a building within a building. What's not to love? Exactly. They don't have that. PDX is like really big on like, you know, localism. So it's like there's something called Timberline. And you go in there and they have various sunglasses, many of which are made with actual wood. Because this is Portland.

I was going to make a joke. I was going to say they have an organic sunglasses shop. And it turns out they do.

Close to it.

Yes. Yes.

It's called Timberline. and it uh yeah you can buy and i forget the name of the wood sunglasses i didn't get those but i got someone's some sunglasses that were near that and i picked them up i put them on becca was like yeah those actually look pretty good on you i looked at the price and i was shocked at how expensive these airport sunglasses were but i thought to myself well you know what i fly out this airport probably three times every three weeks i will try these sunglasses if they don't work for me then when next time i'm through the airport i will return them so i buy the sunglasses i wear them we're in san diego you know wherever julian california and i noticed something legitimately which is the way the arms on the sunglasses are it pushes too much on my temple it's actually giving me kind of a mild headache yeah i know that feeling and i was like okay well you know i tried them they didn't work i'm gonna be back in the uh airport uh like when i was flying to bellingham uh to to drive the stuff down so i was like okay i'll just take these back because they're not working for me i was very careful i didn't take um you know how they give you that little rag that little thing you kind of clean them with i i i left that in the little plastic sleeve like the second that i realized i wasn't gonna use these sunglasses i actually was very careful about not you know doing anything that would make them less sellable so flash forward to saturday morning i'm flying to bellingham to get my moving stuff and i build in not enough but almost enough time to return these sunglasses which it turns out are in a different terminal of pdx from where i'm flying out i run over there i go into the store and i say hey i bought these sunglasses um three days ago and they just don't fit my head properly and the um person working there looks at me with such um how do i put this she the look in her look on her face said i've been waiting for this moment the entire time i've worked here i've been dreading this moment the entire time I've worked here because now I'm going to have to say this thing, which is we do not take returns or exchanges. And I said, how do you mean? And she goes, well, it's printed on the receipt. Now, let us all take a moment to consider a business that does not take returns or exchanges. and the indication of that is printed on the thing they give you when you've already made the purchase good point no signs yeah no like nothing in the store saying no returns they

give it to you when you are holding the thing that indicates you've already done the thing

from which there is no coming back that yeah no that is a really good point i will be honest with you the policy doesn't seem super off to me but the policy has to be stated the policy has to be

stated right no returns and i was again i wasn't freaking out but i said like this would be something that should it would be better if it were posted you know like visibly in parts of the store because putting it on the receipt which is the thing they give you when you're too late it's way too late by definition it's too late also i have a problem with the policy what do you think the the level of attempted return is for a store in a place where people after buying the thing climb aboard an aluminum tube and fly across oceans like how I think I might be the first person who ever tried to return something to this store how many people come to the store buy something fly to where they're going come back and try to return something well i don't know but i don't have the policy why would they have that policy this is the least returnable place probably ever but that to me

doesn't if i were running a store and you know these this is like kind of a high price boutique item that somebody whether or not there's a high likelihood of somebody trying to return something doesn't have the policy doesn't change whether or not i want to allow somebody to return something and i could as somebody who wears glasses like i would not want to buy a pair of glasses that somebody else had had worn for more than a couple of minutes in the store trying them out and

looking at them but if you go into a sunglass hut at northgate mall does northgate mall really

exist it's a hockey rink let's say that you're at center ice at a sunglasses and you're like the

kraken you're winning zero hey luke how about me dropping center ice is that a thing love it oh look at me andrew w kraken baby but like it i hear what you're saying but i'm saying there i hear what you're saying but i'm saying there's like if you think about any store that you go into have you ever been in a store that has a no return policy and no exchange policy that you can

think of well i know i came up against this somewhat recently but it's a different scenario because you know what it was it was a sex shop it was it was it was a sex shop and not one of those nice little boutique hipster ones i am talking about a trucker nasty and we're talking we are talking northeast lake city way um no um i it was a goodwill so that is a slightly different thing like at genevieve like when i had bought god damn it i'm sorry i'm ruining this it doesn't really matter but i bought a like a ring light and a couple of other lights from there and again it's goodwill the stakes are not very high i know that this is a very different scenario but i i was like well i want to see which one works better and so i bought a couple in fact this reason it came up was Genevieve's like if you're going to Goodwill I have a voucher for you and I'd forgotten the voucher and so I come back with these various things and I'm like well hopefully this one will work and I'll return the other she's like you can't return things there that's why I want you to use the voucher the reason I have a voucher is because I tried to return something there and I was like oh I didn't know that

guess what they don't give you at Timberline a voucher I couldn't even get

store credit no I know you did say that so that's my only recent example with that yeah

I just think it's weird that the store at the airport this store at the airport has a no return policy because i don't know what they're guarding against because this is so unlikely like it took so much planning on my part and travel and destruction of personal relationships including c previous marriages for me to travel as much as i do and have these sunglasses that i had purchased three days previously and then bring them back and be like hey these hurt my head and they're like sorry the policy is no returns how often are people trying to return something to the store in the airport like who are the people doing that i think i'm the only demo for that it's a weird policy i don't think the policy is weird behind the tsa line it's behind the security but again like for me howard i let me tell you about roosevelt long island my friend i think any store is allowed to

have whatever policy they have on those things as somebody who um wears glasses not sunglasses but it's just somebody who wears glasses it's a pretty i don't know like it's not underwear but it's you know it's kind of an intimate thing to have glass on your face and whether or not there are a lot of people who would even have the opportunity or want to do it is not why a policy should be in place the policy should be in place based on like do we think it's good for somebody to go and maybe wear these glasses for a few days and then return them like but you can i think reasonable people can disagree on that i think though definitely you have to state that policy i think it needs to be i think there needs to be signs and i think maybe even especially because you're mentioning that these are expensive talking to yes like a hey just so you know because it is it sounds like a pretty big purchase i know that like you not to get not to count other people's money but like if you're saying that these are expensive sunglasses then i think that these are really

expensive sunglasses i'll just tell you there were two hundred dollars yeah like that's that's

quite a bit you need to let somebody know like hey you're buying sunglasses in the airport they're two hundred dollars you need to know that these are not returnable like that is death i am a hundred

percent in lockstep with you on that i hear what you're saying and i respect what you're saying as a former resident of roosevelt long island but yes a store should be able to set their policy and you're right they should also post it in a like right at the register like before you do the transaction. But I keep going back to this. I now own the sunglasses. I now live in a world of pain.

where my head is always hurting because of these sunglasses.

Maybe just give them to me.

Actually, not bad. Like, I think they might look good on you.

I bet you they wouldn't look good on me. I have a bigger face. I have a bigger, rounder face than you.

I'm very nervous about wearing sunglasses that accentuate the roundness of my face. Oh, that's true. You've said that. These ones are pretty, like, squarish. I think they look good on you. But my—I'm sorry. I'm not—I'm so sorry for belaboring this. Why do you think—and this is a real question. I'm not trying to win any argument. Why do you think they have that policy at that store?

Well, I think that there might be a couple of reasons. First of all, is that the only location of that store?

Maybe. You know, I don't actually know. I have not Googled that part.

So one thing would be I'm assuming that's not the only location. Chances are this is a store that sells sunglasses in other locations as well. And it's a company-wide policy.

They sell a whole variety of like Pendleton blankets.

Sure, yeah, that's true, yeah. That's interesting too. like is that no return policy for everything in the store that is somewhat that is somewhat strange well it's on the receipt so anything you buy i'm so it is true it's not so it's even like if you buy like a i don't know you said they sell blankets i guess that's sort of a personal

it's basically like all things portland yeah the kind of kind of cozy and the schtick of the of

the store yeah so anyway well my guess is it's a company-wide policy um and so you're saying why would they have it there and again like the likelihood of somebody doing something i don't think should dictate whether or not that's a policy you want policies in place even for the off chance of something potentially happening in and you know in the in the case of sunglasses again i i think that that's like totally reasonable i just think i buy a lot of expensive sunglasses

and i'm sorry i asked you a question then i just totally stepped on you no i mean that's it like

why do they have it it's because they don't want people returning things and again like i think That's their right, yeah.

Yeah. It is their right, and I think you're correct in that. Because, like, I buy a fair amount of expensive sunglasses. I keep telling myself, if the sunglasses are expensive, I will not lose them. And that doesn't work for me.

So you just keep on buying more and more expensive sunglasses.

I recently bought a $9,000 car sunglasses. I keep thinking, though, like, oh, these look nice on my fat face, and they're expensive. So I will then take care of them. and that never works but that's not the policy at any sunglasses place like at expensive sunglasses places you can buy them also expensive blanket places expensive anything they sell at this store you can buy those at places that sell those things and i have been to those places and you could if you needed to bring them back it's just to me it's shocking and you're right they have the right to set whatever policy they want as long as they tell us the customers but it is just bizarre that they would have a no return policy and no exchange policy in the airport where it's the least likely

thing to happen did you purposely not say the name of this place or did i just no timberline oh it is timberline you mentioned that yeah i was just curious i wanted to look up google it timberline pdx it'll tell you everything you need um i just wanted to sort of see if they have on instagram

I was tempted to flame them and I didn't.

Oh, are they kind of an Instagram shop almost?

They are trying to be extremely online in a way. Like, again, you know, a lot of stuff is pretty cute. It's again, it's it's all Oregon based and whatever. I will also say that, like, the person who told me that I was not allowed to return or exchange the sunglasses was not the person who sold them to me. Which it seems to me that if you're going to have a store that sells sunglasses for $200 and does not allow the return of those sunglasses or exchange of those sunglasses, you need to really train up your employees. Like this needs to be a high-touch environment. And it was not a high-touch environment.

I've never heard that term except for people telling me it's not a high-touch environment.

There needs to be the kind of place where they're really, really like holding your hand throughout the process. And that's not what this is. This is a place where a lot of folks who are working hard and earning their money and they deserve to cycle through with some kind of laminated badge. Like it's not – like for the cost and for this issue, the folks that are working there do not appear to be trained enough in the world of this place, if that makes any sense. Like if you're going to sell me $200 sunglasses that I literally – when I walk out of the kiosk area, I now own for the rest of my life and for generations coming after me. You need the people selling me those glasses To be on their fucking shit And this is not that You are in possession of generational sunglasses That's all I'm saying is I've made an investment in Adelaide's Daughter's future

This does not

This doesn't play in to the conversation we're having this isn't like a necessarily a point in the debate but for what it's worth timberline is so this is basically a gift store uh that is an extension of the timberline lodge and so like there's a thing called the timberline lodge they have three locations a gift store in a gift store i should say in their own lodge and then they have some

of the shining was filmed there oh is that true is that the real okay gotcha so you're familiar

with this i had a feeling you would be and then they have something in fact the gal who told me

i couldn't return it said don't return this lukey oh my god i'm looking at the photo now and the guy

dressed up as a dog is wearing wooden sunglasses you know i recently saw they are wooden i swear

i saw a picture recently of the twins from the shining not like they're on set but they're not filming oh yeah i think i've seen that too is that going around because like they just look so jovial yeah and just like chill right i don't know if i saw this what do you think that's been like what was that like for them as normal kids who would not accept sunglasses returns no it's normal kids who just were cast in this movie and have become the face of evil and then like

yeah and that it's one of the most common things i feel like for kids to dress up as i don't know if that's still true or not but it sort of seems like a very go-to halloween costume and those kids would be just probably slightly older than us right that movie came out am i right that that movie came out maybe around the time we were born 76 78 or something and those kids were well maybe they're about 10 years older than us or something if they were 10 when that was filmed but um anyway yeah so that's what maybe you did you know that this timberline gift shop is basically an

extension of that timberline lodge basically well i i actually didn't know that um and i again i'll stop harping on this we have many top stories uh and i think maybe even a dazzling donor or one to thank um but uh it just the thing that i was matt the thing i just i just think it's an odd policy i'm sorry i'm just this is the eighth time i'm restating this but it strikes me as a weird policy for a store that 99.9 of the people who darken the door by definition will never be there again because they're we're we're past the tsa we're getting on an airplane we're going somewhere like it just is it must never come up except for me It's a weird policy to me. Why would they say that when it's a store? It's like your store is in the middle of the Sahara Desert. It's like the only oasis in the Sahara Desert, and you're selling coconuts, and it's like people buying the – are you worried someone's going to come 40 miles back in the Sahara and try to return the coconut? Like it's just odd to me.

I'm looking at their souvenirs now, specifically the plush toy page. They have something called the Timber Tiger Plush, but it doesn't look like a tiger. It looks like a little chipmunk. Next time you're passing through.

You better make sure that you know what you're buying, Andrew. Yeah. If it's a tiger or a chipmunk.

Next time I see you, I'm giving you $16. Next time you pass through, I want this Timber Tiger Plush.

I'll trade you for some wooden sunglasses.

It sounds like I might get ahead on that deal.

All right. Let's do a quick break, and then we will be back with more TBTL in a moment.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Is this really happening, Andrew? I think so, Luke. Are we at our final dazzling donor?

Unless there's somebody out there who, now that they're hearing this is the final one.

Well, no returns, no exchanges.

This should be the last one. Now, we've read a lot of messages from people, and in the messages, they've said, sorry for sending this in so late. So they have been kind of trickling in. Now, listener Ian, I want to make this clear. We're not reading Ian's message here today as the final message in the Dazzling Donors for the year because he sent it in late. In fact, Ian was one of the first people to send in a Dazzling Donor message. I just thought it was such a sweet message And I so I wanted to like kind of End end The the the run of Dazzling donor messages with Ian's message Today so I just want to make that clear it's not Like Ian was a very very Good boy and Ian

By the way don't think of this as the final Dazzling donor think of yourself as The first dazzling donor Of the next phase of TBTL's financial life exactly Ian is in Seattle Washington and says, hey, co-bros, another year around the sun. Last year I celebrated.

a new job with the help of a fellow 10. Hey. Cool. And meeting my wonderful girlfriend, Steph. We are now living together, and I can confidently say I am the happiest I've been in years. Oh my gosh. I see a direct line. TBTL leads to the happiest you've been in years.

TBTL leads to a new job, which leads to a new partner. By the way, I have something on my mind. I don't know if I'm right about this. I just want it for the record. Have we said Ian's last name? Kohler. Okay, I just started saying Ian, and now we're on a first-name basis. But this is Ian Kohler of Seattle, Washington.

If you know a different Ian in Seattle, it's not them. It's their last name is not Kohler. The Ian that we are talking about today is Ian Kohler. Ian says, while I certainly can't say she is a 10, she puts up with me listening to you guys on road trips while puttering or basically whenever I'm very behind. i can't bring myself to ever declare tbtl bankruptcy i thought ian meant behind in tasks because i find myself doing that too do you do this with levitard or anything like if i'm trying to really psych myself up to do something that i'm kind of putting off i will wait till there's a new howard stern show you know the pride of roosevelt long island sure yeah like for real though i will like wait till i have the content that i want to listen to while i'm doing a thing i don't want to be doing because it'll kind of make it less bad for me i had a thought yesterday

i even sent myself a note about this thought because i want to talk about it on spotless this this week um you know talk about it here yeah now i'm just sort of scooping myself we'll come back to you ian just calm down we're coming back to your message in a second um here was my thought yesterday i had a bunch of uh clothes to fold or at least i thought i had a whole bunch turns out i had a moderate amount of clothes to fold and because mild to moderate mild to moderate folding condition and i had fallen behind in my quest to catch up on the tv show barry which just wrapped up its series right and i'm still like middle of season three and it's really hard to get me especially on a weeknight to sit down and just watch a tv show like i want to be listening to a podcast or playing darts but i also really want to catch up on barry and i thought can i watch barry and play darts at the same time i'm like no you won't pay enough attention i'm like

fold these clothes and that was previously your windsors watching right kind of yeah now that was

a very i think of that as a very pandemic-y kind of era too so things were a little bit different then but yeah i used to watch that documentary that cnn documentary the windsors and fold my clothes and sometimes iron napkins it was a global pandemic luke we were all just trying to get through but yesterday i ran i wanted to watch more barry but i ran out of clothes to fold and so therefore i couldn't watch tv and i realized i do the opposite of what most people do most people don't want to fold clothes but they're like well i'll watch tv while i'm folding clothes that'll make it less bad and for me it's the opposite it's like i want to watch i i want to get through the show but i want to fold and if i don't have things to fold then i'm not watching tv i need something to do while i'm watching tv i have i think i have an attention the thing is i don't want to play on my phone either because then i'll get too distracted i if i want to pay attention to barry i want to know what's going on i want to pick up on the details but i just need some little mindless task to do and potentially i want to be standing while i'm doing it not a lot of

people like to stand while watching television uh on the subject of noho hank uh i think i might have mentioned this recently that kevin neelan has this i think it's called like hiking with kevin nealon where he just hikes i think up to the hollywood sign or maybe it's probably not runyon canyon because that's very steep and people aren't sweating as much as you would be hiking runyon canyon but anyway he had anthony carraway i believe is the name of the actor who plays noho hank and it is amazing his talk with anthony carraway and the way that um god i hope i'm saying his last name i'm saying it with so much confidence that you think i know it i think it's in that neighborhood but like the way that anthony carraway talks about his a career uh you know be trying to become an actor and also the fact that he has alopecia totalis which uh which we talked about or i talked about the other day on the show related to him and him just talking about the casting process and kind of like what it did to his brain to be a person who looked a bit different and was trying to go out for roles and stuff. If you're a Barry fan, would recommend The Hiking with Kevin Nealon with Anthony Carraway. Carragan. Carragan! I did it! I didn't know that, but it's Carragan. I have to look it up. Trust your fears. That's one of Ian Kohler's main things he wanted to say. Damn, I was just, I think it tripped right off my tongue. That's all right. That's how it works, though.

You talk, I have time to look it up.

Thank you. Thank you. Gosh, I'm sorry, Anthony. And I'm sorry to Ian Kohler. were

Words can't express how grateful I am. This is me just talking. Words can't express how grateful I am for her to be a part of my life. Okay, this is Ian.

This is Ian talking about his girlfriend. I picked a bad line to try that co-op.

She's kind, patient, giving, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. As for TBTL, I've been a listener since I was in college, through difficult times, professionally and personally, and I really can't imagine where I would be without the sounds of you two podding as I go about life. Thanks for all you do. Andrew, maybe I'll see you at a Mariners game this season. I promise to follow the golden rule. Is that what we're calling it now? That's more your rule.

Do unto Andrews as you would have Andrews do unto you? No, that means nobody will ever leave their basement. When can I leave the basement? Have you played enough darts yet? I think that's more your rule, but I mean, I'll...

Oh, the rule is just... I think this is what Ian is referencing. It's not that you can't come talk to us. It's that you just, if you see us in the wild, please say, hey, I listen to TBTL or hey, I'm so and so nice to meet you. What we can't have is people who are vaguely aware of our job stuff observing us without identifying themselves. Because I can't speak for you, Andrew, but I, for myself, am a rolling disaster.

Oh, Luke, this is reminding me of something I meant to address on the show a week or two ago. I met a listener, and I'm so sorry that I am blanking on your name right now. Was it Anthony Carraway? It was something Carraway. You said, Patty. no i ran into a listener who when i was at the nation of language reggie watts show a couple weekends ago but i i was having like i had a good time it wasn't a it was an amazing show like both performers just it was an amazing show i was a little bit it was yep it was at the croc at the new croc and i hadn't been in the main stage area of the new crocodile before and it was really cool I was a little bit feeling the crowd a little bit the way I should put that is I was feeling a little bit claustrophobic like Vives and I got there kind of early-ish so we had a good spot near the stage but then as you know the bars in the back of the room so a couple of times I had to like fight through the crowd and that's where usually I think maybe I would just like sacrifice the good view and maybe hang in the back more I'm also taller than Genevieve but there were a couple of times I had to go get us beers and I was feeling like I was feeling a bit claustrophobic and jostled and all of those things. It's a pretty tame crowd, pretty older, like, you know, our, you know, maybe not everybody our age, but, you know, it was a pretty tame crowd. But either way, I was in some sort of a kind of a line for the bar where, you know, there's a lot of I'm just like kind of focusing on, you know, who's next. I don't want to hold up the line, that kind of thing. And a listener came up to me and she was very sweet and just said, hey, Andrew, I listened to the show and she was very nice. And I just feel like i dropped the ball socially so hard in that moment and the fact that i'm now blanking on your name too probably doesn't help but my apologies if you're still listening i'm sorry i was so awkward i was like next in line the bartender's attention was shifting to me i was trying to say hello to you i might have been hitting the vape pen a little bit harder than i meant to either way i was not very i was not my luke burbankiest right there you would have been so gracious and i think about that and i was like i don't know what to do i don't know if i would have been though i mean

were you saying you're a little vape impala there i don't know why i tried to make that a thing when you were talking about the crowd being tame i heard tame impala and i think i was just i think i was just hanging with that sure that reference for way too long um i don't know like i wish that that I were you know classy every time I say every time like it happens so often but I think I run into the same thing when folks who have heard of the show you know make themselves known which is the golden rule which is the Ian Kohler rule yes is I sometimes it in me trying to make the person understand that I don't think I'm a big deal I think that I make it worse for them If that makes any sense.

Oh, I don't know. You've talked about this on the show before that sometimes you maybe slip a little bit into interview mode or something.

Well, just in being like, oh, God, you don't even want to know. It's somehow I think in me trying to – I don't know. In trying to make sure that they know that I don't think I'm a big deal, that they had maybe recognized me somewhere, I think I lower their experience a little bit. So I'm just saying I wish that I would have handled it better than you, but probably we would have handled roughly the same. What did you actually say?

Well, I just said, you know, I'm just, oh, hey, thanks. And, you know, now that I think about it, it was so loud. You know, my hearing is – I've got middle-aged man hearing. I'm not even sure if I registered. the name well um it was just like very loud and kind of chaotic in the moment but i will say this and this is you know i might have offered to buy this person a beer too i think so at least that's nice but i would never do that generally speaking i was awkward but then i would i did do this i thought i'm ordering the drinks i'm just like how am i so socially inept how how did i let this happen and so after i got uh like i think a couple of beers for me and vives i did do like i kind of circled around the back looking for this person but i couldn't find them again so my apologies i did i wanted to do some clean well but i didn't above and beyond but well only because i'm saying it now on the show which you can choose to buy them a drink i think i might not have but anyway so if you're that person i hope you're still listening and i'm sorry that was so awkward next time i'm gonna be so cool i'm gonna be like snoopy when he's wearing the sunglasses

that's snoopy right that's not his weird cousin with the mustache oh that guy was there like a

cool snoopy yeah he has a mustache right he doesn't he that was a dark time for peanuts he flies do they both fly planes or does the other guy's a cowboy woodstock woodstock flies the

plane right am i am i does snoopy fly the plane i thought snoopy flies a plane and the other guy rides a horse i already lost the anthony carraway situation i always thought it was woodstock no no you're right snoopy flies the doghouse as a yes because and he's got the goggles and now i'm

looking at yeah he flies the doghouse as a plane in his head it's an actual plane so sometimes but

there was a guy that lives in the southwest right yeah it's like a little like a little mustache

yeah who's this guy i'm just i'm just gonna type in snoopy cousin i don't know if he's actually but it seems like spike is his name i feel like this must have come up really again dark time for the schultz empire spike is a main character main character peanuts fandom.com slash wiki slash spike spike is a main character in the peanuts comic strip by schultz he's snoopy's brother who lives alone in the california desert brother at best anyway yeah so he lives alone in

the california desert just charles schultz sitting in like i think it's like santa rosa california I only know because I literally did a TV story about him there. Oh, yeah, right. He wasn't alive anymore. But, like, I love the idea of Charles Schultz sitting in, like, Santa Rosa, looking at a drafting board and just being like, God, so much pressure. So much pressure. Five of these. Expand the universe. What if he had a brother named Spike? Who lives, like, somewhere outside of L.A. But a little hole in the desert. Here's how we know he's different, though. He has a Luke-style mustache. He has one of the saddest mustaches. he's a non-hersuit dog who has basically put some kind of just for men on his upper upper lip

and that's giving him a tiny mustache how about this this is bananas in the sunday strip from october 13th 1996 i don't remember where i was october 13th 1996 he is given mickey mouse's

shoes and often wears them in later strips do you think that was also the day that disney lost the rights to mickey mouse like was like was that that because they no longer i mean was it you like united features syndicators or something that would that would like syndicate those those cartoons did they also own disney how in the heck fire was he allowed to have disney in his thing

so it is so there's a link to it a lot of these peanuts comics are online luke and like in order This really speaks to my archiving type of way. So here, do you really want me to do this? Because I can stop now. Like, I'm kind of, okay. Don't stop. Don't get it. Okay. Again, I'd like to thank Ian Kohler for this dazzling donor message. This is a Sunday.

And whoever Andrew tried to buy a drink for at the Crocodile.

This makes up for my awkwardness at the Crocodile. So it's a Sunday strip, so it's a bit longer, and it's in color. We're out in the desert somewhere. And we're, we're seeing, there's a cactus, right? There's a lot of cacti around this guy. It's a cactus, but the cactus is thinking. So right now I only see a cactus and the cactus is thinking, here he comes, all smiles. He gets to go places, but I have to stand here for the rest of my life. The cactus is centered in the narrative? Yes, so far. And now here comes Spike walking into frame. and he's also thinking not talking, he's thinking guess where I've been I've been to Hollywood I told you he was outside LA and I guess he's sort of talking to another coastal elite I think he's talking I think he communicates with this plant by thinking I'm not sure and guess who I ran into Mickey Mouse thinks slash says Spike he was nice to me Thank you.

We sat and talked for a long time. I guess he made a lot of money. I told him about it like that. That's like you. There was a period of this show like before I said, where you're interviewing people. Your first question was always about residuals.

By the way, I'm going right back to that if we ever have a guess. That's the only thing I care about in the interview is how much money is the person making.

So you're doing all right, right? You got that sitcom sold? I told him about how I live out here in the desert and how the hot sand can get hot on your feet. And then you know what he did And then Spike pulls out of a bag Two yellow shoes, puts them on He gave me his shoes End of Sunday comic God

Don't get too close to your heroes They may have feet of Disney

That segues nicely into our Shoes off conversation

It sure does, but I don't want to talk about that today Because I want to talk about

I'll bring this up again tomorrow Can I read the same strip tomorrow?

Yes, you can I bet you the next one I bet you the next one also involves shoes. Thank you, Ian, for being our dazzling donor today. We really do appreciate you.

All right, Luke, you might notice that you have no Blur's Days in your possession. That's because we only have a couple today. Because I'm not allowed to have that anymore. You lost your Blur's Day privileges. I got two Blur's Days today. That's it. Katie in Bloomington, Minnesota says, you thought I was going to say Indiana, by the way, but I didn't. I said Minnesota. I did.

Do you know who the, I think, I think Ask Amy, no, no, no, this Amy, isn't this Amy's brother, the mayor of Bloomington, or is it Ask Amy? Is it Ask Amy from Wait, Wait?

Maybe it's Ask Amy. This is Katie who's writing in today. Oh, is it Ask Katie? Ask Katie, who she wants to give a Blur's Day shout out to. Her mom, happy Blur's Day mom, says Katie in Bloomington, Minnesota. It has been so rewarding to watch you become baby Kieran's nan. I hope you have the best day happy blurs day mom you got me and finally Corey says I would love to send out a happy blurs day to my wonderful wife she has been a 10 for years and I'm slowly converting myself from an 11 nice over the last 12 years over the last 12 years she has made my life wonderful by making my life better each and every day happy blurs day to cory's wife hey you know what i just noticed this is a first neither blurs day in the somewhat abbreviated blurs day segment mentioned the name of the recipient hmm wife and mom huh anyway i had something else i wanted to lay on you if i got

the bandwidth we do can i just quickly uh finish one of the things i forward promoted in the top stories oh yeah we didn't get you it's just that pedro pascal is not in the mendadorian outfit okay yeah i mean i'm not is that not as shocking as i thought it was i don't know man i i watch

like i watch i'm gonna say like i watch probably like two thirds or three quarters of the first season maybe it's and then i was out i love that and so i don't think i ever got to the part where he takes off the helmet or that he takes off the helmet and then I see him I don't know if I got to that part or not so but we have raised it on the show and the point being that like it's funny that this character that is so literally masked up and we never see his face or at least for a big chunk of the show that there's a famous actor underneath all of that that's what that's what the

assumption was well and I believe it was the case for the first season oh he was in the outfit okay And then I think we're just like, F this. Right. Like, what am I doing? Now he just does the voiceover, which is like the whole thing that we were saying back when that was happening is like, why do you hire a fair? I think his big star turn had been like Oberon maybe in Game of Thrones. Was that the character's name?

Good call. Yeah, I can never think of his name. I just think of him as the guy who runs the only country I'd be able to survive in. The guys whose eyes do really well throughout the show. Is that? Oh, that's him. I think that's him, right? That's such a bummer that that's what you go to. I mean, it makes sense. It's a memorable scene. But like, I just think of like that, that, that beautiful, like it's a, it's a land of

like sword, not sword, but like, what do you, what do you, oh, you're thinking of where Oberon is, where he rules is just like this, like this, it's all. green and lush and gardens and also he's really awesome with that staff he does all kinds of cool moves yeah right and it's all about like free love and it's just like i'm like that's the only place

i'd even have a slight shot of surviving in game it really is i think alana is there right who's like um there's that kind of high council wait is that different than high garden a high garden is his place i think oh man this is awful oberon is in high garden i think so he's i tell you where is not in the mandadorian outfit which which we thought was weird that like you cast this you know fame like that time semi-famous person to play this character but they're mostly you know have a helmet on and like that's so weird i i have a specific memory of being like that's so weird that they did that and now i'm finding out that definitely like two-thirds of the way through the first season he was like yeah no this sucks and also he's probably getting more work right

It allowed him to shoot The Last of Us

Yeah, that's what I was wondering He also said he physically couldn't handle being in the outfit

Ooh, I'm on another wiki, Luke Good news for everybody He was renowned for his skill with the staff His spirit for vengeance and fluid sexuality

Oh, why not

Happy Pride Month

Go, Pedro Pascal

By the way, that was Oberyn, by the way Not specifically Pedro Pascal That I was describing there

Uh-huh Although Pedro Pascal is known to carry a staff down like sunset boulevard anybody else it would be troubling but with him

it's just like it's just all right you go pedro completes the fit exactly anyway i i don't know

why that was a big deal to me but it was like it just it it was surprising to me that he had ever been in the outfit right right i remember you telling me about why did they ever make him wear the outfit right considering if we were never going to see his face yeah i don't know he was

also in oh goodness gracious i always want to call it a heartbreaking work of staggering genius but that's not it that's a book but what was the nicholas cage movie the meta movie where nicholas

oh yes yes the staggering genius of nicholas cage it's something it's something like that

bearable weight of nicholas genius i think you're right the unbearable weight of of genius and you

know there's a meme of pedro pascal in that movie oh in the car in the car doing like that kind of

face it's a great role Veeves and I were not exactly sure where we knew him from we saw that in the theater and we were both like where do we know him from and it took us a while to remember oh he's Oberyn oh he's

inside the Mandadorian oh

I recognize him from inside the Mandadorian but anyway yeah that's a fun movie I think I've said it before like given the scope of the movie and what they were doing with like kind of an actor known for being weird known for being a really good actor and going all meta I feel like they could have gone a little bit further I think they could have done a little bit more but it was a fun romp so if i don't know why i feel like people are like should i watch this movie or not andrew i'm i'm letting you know yes you can watch that you have your jean shallot mustache on i certainly know r.i.p jean shallot do you do a jean shallot i i don't

i don't have the much higher yes i think he goes high that was actually a pretty good shot i just

so did you notice me like i never commit i just it was one part jiminy glick it was jim jiminy

shallot have you ever considered to make a movie that's good all right so you wanted to also say

one quick thing here so um we had been talking recently um on the show it's come up a couple of times now with listeners adding more details to it uh a spoof that we had way back in i think 2017 or some time around then where we were pointing out that there's a moment in a U2 song a live performance from Rattle and Hum where Bono is the same part it's right after he says am I bugging you don't mean to bug you oh really yes it's that he says that during the you know anti apartheid little speech he's giving and then he says okay Edge play the blues and the joke being that the Edge does not play the blues he plays a guitar riff that is like the opposite of the blues and somebody had reminded us of that recently and then we got a couple of emails from a couple of listeners that said like that was a great moment like I that was a driveway moment for me or I remember where I was on a road trip when I heard that and we got a message here from listener Marie who says since that episode quote unquote aired I have occasionally tried to go back and find it but I have repeatedly failed but two weeks ago I did find it and I took a screenshot for my record so this was one of listener Marie's favorite moments in TBTL history as well and it came from episode 2441 keeping it zero and let's see this is August 8th of 2017 which I'm going to play some tape for you here Luke first of all I can't believe how different we sound. I'm like...

2017 that was just like yesterday i'm like no that was like six years ago that was six years ago and our voices are a little bit higher somehow even though we're fully adult men and more confident and more life honestly there did seem to be more energy but i don't know i don't know anymore um but here's the deal so i remembered this wrong to the degree that i remembered it at all i remembered that it was a bit on the show it was a bit of a spoof and i would have guessed that this was something that you and i just sort of stumbled on in one of our kind of you know rambles i do love the album rattling huh yeah of u2 records i'm not a big u2 head but that would by far be my favorite um and um i i figured oh you and i were probably playing a part of it and then like reminiscing because i remember that part of the record i loved i did like that record because it's like oh we have this live song with this like kind of like spoken word part of it and then that goes into some other like sampled thing i don't know the album is just sort of very textured or whatever and so i could have seen you and i just reminiscing about it and then playing part of it and being like wait a second the edge isn't playing the blues here but i was totally wrong this was a realization that you had and i'm going to summarize your story leading up to this because it was a bit of a stem winder you were on a road trip with carrie at the time and you were visiting someplace that was like the triangle of fire that you kept on referring to as the triangle of death Does this ring a bell? A couple of like forts somewhere, like three forts somewhere?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely. That's in the like Olympic Peninsula. We got married at Fort Warden. That's one of them. We got married in a fever hotter than a pepper sprout. No, you had Fort Warden, you had Fort Flagler, and then you had, I think, Fort Casey, and those formed something called the Triangle. You said it's of fire, but I was calling it of death.

Yeah, exactly.

And they all had these big cannons to keep opposing forces from getting into, like, Washington State.

I see.

By way of water.

And so the one thing I just want to make clear here is this was not something that you and I stumbled on together. This was a realization you had during the road trip, and then you came to the show with it. You're like, when is the last time you listened to the song? So you do this whole setup of, like, I'm driving with Carrie. We're on a road trip. You should be good at content. You're making some sort of jokes that like Carrie isn't laughing at or something. And you say to her, am I bugging you? Don't mean to bug you. And she doesn't know what the hell you're talking about. So then like you're at some rest stop and you're trying to like dial up that song for her. And while you're looking for that spot so you can share this cultural reference. I'm looking for don't mean to bug you. Exactly. You're looking for don't mean to bug you. But then you notice this other thing. So you came to the show with this fully formed. Take a listen to this.

Just set your expectations on medium, okay? This is not going to pay on me. But it was interesting to me because it was not why I had ventured onto YouTube to watch this video. I wanted to play the bugging you thing for Carrie. But in a second here, something happens, which is Bono wraps up his polemic and he says, Edge, play the blues.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Now, I would like you to listen to what Edge plays and tell me if it's possible that Edge had up to this point literally never heard the blues.

Okay, Eds, play the blues.

Old Blind Lemon. Old Lead Belly. when was this this concert movie released uh you know maybe 20 years ago or something um it's for you two fans i think it's awesome and and i again i tend to like these guys but for however long this has been around am i the first person to point out that that is not the blues i'm really proud of i'm really proud of that observation to be totally honest with you I don't say this a lot, but I'm proud of that observation.

And I couldn't play back the whole thing here because it ended up being like, you know, it's us. There's tangents or whatever. But like you set this whole thing up and I'm like, oh, yeah, I know the bugging you apart or whatever. And so anyway, that's like kind of where it leads to. And it is true. It is. When you think about it, it is so goddamn funny to play the blues. And by the way, I'm not a blues man. I would take what edge. Is it edge or the edge? What the edge is playing there over the blues, frankly. Like, I like it, but it's definitely not the blues.

I'm sure that I'm now saying a thing that I said however many years ago, but like, do you think Edge thought he was playing the blues?

No, I don't think he did. I think that Bono just says things that sound cool.

Is it also editing? Maybe he said, Edge, play the blues, and then the Edge, Edge, I'm sorry, these Edge played the blues, but they cut it out of rattle and hum?

No, I think that Bono just says that because it's a rock star thing to say is what I think happened there. I don't actually I think the edge got thrown under the bus there honestly if you listen back to the tape there's a small moment where you can hear him be like wait I don't I don't know any blues songs I'll play this instead you can just hear it just a moment of him struggling with what to play there they also blamed edge for the download of that song to everyone's iPhone god that seems so antiquated didn't they I mean sorry to just keep you know retreading the same path but didn't we eventually land

when it came to the U2 song being downloaded to liking U2 because they put out actually a pretty self-aware funny apology?

It was an album, I think. And wasn't the story that like if you bought, what was it? If you bought a new iPhone, it came automatically?

Something like that.

No, because I got it too. And I don't have any Apple products, but I was using iTunes at the time. So iTunes, as I like to put it. And so I think it just like appeared.

I didn't study. I tuned him and I studied him.

But anyway, yeah. so this album nobody asked for just appears everybody's like hey look free you too they just think everybody's going to celebrate this but instead people felt like it was an invasion of privacy like this weird thing like what these companies can just put stuff on our phones now um and then yeah i think that they did do the innocence of you i know right right like now it would be some like ai thing that sounds like uh youtube being put directly on our

on our phones i do think that they recorded some kind of pretty funny like apology or mea culpa or something where they were like you know we get it you hate us which i found uh charming yeah and

you know that's the thing too and i think this comes a little bit with age i i was just such a snarky teen or whatever i remember my my friend paulie who you know used to call you would say you too is the poor man's un and like that goes back to like the 90s in high school like there was just like all these jokes about how they were like so holier than thou but like what were they doing but just trying to cast a but they're trying to use their influence and megaphone to shine a light on something that a lot of like younger people might not have been paying attention to as far as human rights abuses and other parts of the of the world right like what they were trying to do was they're always on the side of good and then when they released this video i don't remember the details but i think you're right they were also like no you know what it was an interview I think Bono was interviewed after he fell off his bike or something and we played that tape and he was just like so winning, so charming in it. You're like, yeah, I spent a long time just like kind of kind of like thinking I'm too good for you, too, because this guy's he's too good for us. And I don't really think that we the Sarcasmos really won that one.

No, I think I think per usual, we the Sarcasmos are not looked favorably upon by history. i think i think and i'll go right to the list uh bono the edge larry mullen jr is there somebody else in youtube there's got to be like four people right i didn't even know who you for a

second i was like drummer who are these people you're listing is when you got to mullins i was like wait are these people we've offended i thought that was like i'd like to thank dazzling donor larry mullins jr larry mullins jr i thought for sure played like shortstop for the 91 mariners

Was he the one who had the most multi-hit games? Oh, sorry, that was Desi Rolla for it.

I still need to look to see if I have that card. Are the M's playing today? I think they have a day off. Do you know that I did not, and by the way, we can talk about this now because Matt made it clear that he stops listening when we get to Blur's days, that I like most of the listeners. He's like, can you at least put it at the end so I can stop listening? That's his voice. That was a recording, by the way. once again the sarcasmos on the right side of history me being the sarcasmo here matt you're bono in this story you're gonna come out ahead um anyway i something weird happened to me yesterday luke maybe was like getting crushed by the by the yankees two days in a row of two games that i was not able to pay attention to because i was recording podcasts or whatever that yesterday that whole thing about me folding clothes and catching up on barry it wasn't until like the sixth or seventh inning that you and some folks on the sports chain started texting and i was like oh my god there's really a game like how did i i totally maybe i was just like i don't want to watch us get swept by the yankees and be crushed by them like a trauma response like i literally was just like

And now that I looked, once I realized that, I'm like, that's why I had this weird hole in my evening. Like, that's why I'm watching Barry at, like, 6.30. Like, why am I? I'm never watching HBO shows at 6.30. And I was just like, somehow I got out of my baseball rhythm. And now today we have a day off, and then I think we're hitting the road, right? Like, for Friday. I can't remember where we're going. Oh, we're going to Texas, I think. Oh, yes.

We better straighten up and fly right. That's not going to be great. Like, I, yeah, baseball talk. Sorry. Yeah, we, the thing that we're dealing with, I think, as a team is we are better than the Oakland A's and not better than any other teams. And that, I think, is a pretty fundamental issue for us. Yeah, yeah.

Again, the Mariners, I think, you know, this time last, was it around this time last year?

Oh, we were, I believe we were like eight games under 500.

Yeah, and just a terrible, terrible losing streak. Now, we end up coming back with an almost historic winning streak. We can't count on that. But we're actually not in worse shape. We just had higher expectations this year, and we've just been very middling.

If we go 9-12 over the course of a few series, we'll be where we were after going 14-0, if that makes any sense. Like, we don't have to do something spectacular. we just have to do something better than we've been doing and it will put us in the same position

if that makes sense yeah and it's exactly like you said like so we dominated the a's who are on track to be like to have the worst record in baseball history modern baseball history um so we should win those games and then we face the yankees who just absolutely spanked us two games in a row but we squeaked out one extra winning extra inning win according to the newspapers today i did not watch the game as i said um and so like okay well we took one from the yankees like that's not terrible like we're not we're not awful we're just like sitting there we're just like hovering around 500 i think we're gonna are you talking about the mariners or tbtl oh god i wish we're not awful we're just sitting there that's the old tbtl now now we are just awful after yeah we're not even sitting there anymore No, now we're something you can talk about. Anyway.

It's weird that we, though, two seasons in a row have had an extra inning game against the Yankees where it's been 1-0, which is very hard to do in the modern era.

Yeah, that is true.

Oh, God, when I was on the airplane before we left Illinois, so I flew yesterday, which, again, this is lost on the listeners because we had prerecorded shows. So for all you know, I've just been sitting in this room, but I flew out of Bentonville, Arkansas, XNA Airport, up to Chicago. And when we landed in Chicago, I remembered that Illinois is one of the states that allows DraftKings. Oh. And then we sat on the tarmac for two hours waiting for the plane to take off because of some issue, which was also not great because when I flew into Dallas the day before, after landing, we sat on the tarmac for two hours. Different airline, same problem. I spent so much time not flying but being trapped in an airplane the last two days. But anyway, so I used my time wisely to bet a million ridiculous parlays on the Mariners.

none of which happened oh i thought you sent a text that one of them did yeah the extra innings

one oh which covered all my bets oh good good good good okay oh man i had one that was julio gets two hits one of them's a home run and uh uh kirby strikes out more than seven which he did and the mariners get the money line which they did i had another one kirby gets six strikeouts and uh eugenio hits a home run and we cover the money line which we did like the reason these parlays pay so much because it's very hard for all three things to happen did you have any money down on desi i did i was able to go back in time and bet that desi reliford would have eight games

in a row where he had two hit why can i not why don't i find any well i guess it's the time the era right like i can't find anything online like an old seattle times article that's like desi reliford makes franchise history or anything like that maybe that it feels like that and the Seattle Times archives do go back that far. Like, for significant things, you can find articles.

There's no Bob Condotta column on Larry Stone writing about. Yeah. But there is, and we should talk about this tomorrow. Again, much to the emboringment, embordment. To bore our listeners, tomorrow, let's talk about my Ellis Burks foul ball.

Yes, that's right. Some listeners went, oh, my gosh. Deep dive. Oh, so interesting.

Hold on to your butt. I'm mad. Matt, you're going to want to check out some of the other podcasts out there.

It's going to get somehow worse. Familiarize yourself with the fast forward button, Matt. Anyway, yeah, let's talk about that tomorrow because, like, I was reading those emails you forwarded to me with fascination. Like, it was a time machine for me, really and truly. Just amazing. And also, there was a premise from which both of the emailers were working from that is flawed. Ooh, interesting. Which I'm going to tell you about tomorrow.

This is about a foul ball that you came home with after going to the ballpark in, we think, the early 90s.

Not to be confused with the foul ball that was me shitting my pants that I also came home with at a different trip to the kingdom.

That was a foul smell. That was not a foul ball. Thank you. Sorry. Foul bowel. Yeah, foul bowel. Show title. Even kids can tolerate bowel.

All right. Okay. Well, I think we've done enough for one day. But the good news is we're going to be right back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you all. So thank you so much for listening. Thanks for being part of TBTL. Until we see you tomorrow, please have a great Thursday. Go Mariners, even on their day off. Get some rest. Look out for foul bowels. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Okay, Edge, play the blues.

Power out.