Muse

Hey, Luke. Hey, Andrew. It's Stu. I'm just calling to give you this list of the 10 best Darrens in popular culture. Number one is Darren Sproles, a lot of running back. He was really good on my fantasy football team a couple years ago, so he's number one. Number two is Darren Dalton. He played for the Philadelphia Phillies and believed in astral travel and out-of-body experiences. Number three is Darren Robinson. He was one of the original Fat Boys, a rap group from the mid-1980s. On number four is Darren Stevens from the sitcom Bewitched, the Dick York version. On number five is Darren Jesse. I believe he was the drummer in Ben Folds 5. On number six, Darren McGavin, the dad from Christmas Story. On number seven is Darren Stevens again from Bewitched, the Dick Sargent version. On number eight is Darren Semple, who I went to high school with. Good guy. On number nine is Darren Aronofsky, who was the director of the movie Requiem for a Dream. And number 10 is Darren Hayes, the lead singer of the Australian pop rock band Savage Garden. Anyway, those are the 10 best Darrens. Anyway, you guys have a good one. T-B-T-L.

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is.

It's Friday. Friday. Got to get down on Friday.

Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. I don't read the newspaper. I don't watch news on television unless there's a cat involved. I've never been a person that had friends, and so my friends were two imaginary white cats.

Were you just using a synthesizer? Nope. So you mean to tell me that all of those sounds were coming from your body? Yup. I'm the president of rap music, and I need to work with you right away.

You know what, dude? We can make a lot of money on this. If you're making these out of thin air, I mean, there's no overhead. We're going to be rich.

Oh, my God. One hundo a day, both of us. Five hundo a week. That's rich. That's it.

Boomba! Boomba! Boomba! Boomba!

Boomba! Hey, everybody. Happy Friday. Welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of TBTL. This is the show that really might be too beautiful to live, especially if Luke doesn't show up soon. With him out of the way, I think we're just going to be 360 spins and slam-dug pointers. Because Luke is out today. He had some family stuff pop up at the last minute. But don't worry, you're in good hands here. Love it or hate it, you are here for the Andrew Walsh experience today.

Because it's the Andrew Walsh Ensemble. The Andrew Walsh Ensemble, that's what people pay for.

I don't know if we've talked about this. I feel like I've probably mentioned this before probably some other time that Luke has been out. But I have a whole bunch of tape sent to me by my friend Caitlin in upstate New York of people saying my name, Andrew Walsh.

How good could I have been? Well, not Yo-Yo Ma good, but I'd say Andrew Walsh good.

It's from a show called Mozart in the Jungle. I think it was an Amazon show. I never watched one tiny bit of it. I just like to listen to the tape where they say my name. You're the one who threw up on Andrew Walsh. Well, yeah, well, I threw up around Andrew Walsh. Apparently, I always get this wrong. Derek Mulroney? I have this written down somewhere. Dermot Mulroney plays a cello player in that show. That's not what we're here to talk about today. Let's just move on. In fact, the person sitting across from me right now is already shaking her head at me. You know her well. She, as Luke would say, is the longest-running co-bro of my life. She has an office right outside of my studio here, and every now and then she will hear me. On the rare occasion that I say something incorrect, she will gently come into the studio and correct me.

Just, if I get something a tiny bit wrong. I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively in a row.

That was actually tape of her just yesterday. Hello, Genevieve Haas. Hi, Andrew. Thanks for doing this for me. I know you have a really busy day and you're hopping on the mic here to save our bacon. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Anytime bacon can be saved, I want to be there.

Yeah. I have a fun plan for us today that dials into one of your very specific interests that I don't think we've ever talked about on TBTL before. But before we get to that, tell me everything you know about Mozart in the Jungle.

It's about musicians.

Mm-hmm.

And scene.

Is this the first you're hearing of it?

No, I remember when it came out. I know it's about, like, I mean, Mozart's kind of a giveaway, but I think it's about classical musicians.

Yeah, apparently it is based on someone's memoir called, like, seriously, it's like Sex, Drugs, and Classical Music.

music or something about like somebody who was like you know a fancy classical musician in new

york okay yeah i didn't know there was an andrew walsh on it yeah do i have any more here oh i have

this one this one's a little bit hard to hear but it says my name so we should probably listen to are you going somewhere yeah where are you going um i'm going on tour with andrew walsh

andrew walsh yeah i lie no no andrew walsh is not worthy of anything related to you at all at all sexually definitely not but artistically even less have people said that to you about me before that's amazing that's some that's incredible tape it feels like they're trolling you i know it really does but i was gonna ask you if andrew walsh on that show was a tedious bureaucrat

like when i wrote you into my god oh my god yeah let's talk about that for a second so you wrote a novel you started a novel half a novel like so many it was like many great writers i've written half a novel this is going back more than 10 years now oh at least yeah and it was like it

wasn't like a highfalutin enterprise for you it wasn't a great work of american literature i just had this thought that it'd be fun to try to like you know they write there's so much crappy like um you know pulp pulpy you know spy yeah spy or detective fiction out there genre fiction yeah

The kind of shit we like to read on vacation.

Yeah, beach read, right? And I thought like, well, if I had just like one good idea, could I like churn out a novel? I was trying deliberately not to make it good, but just to finish it. But I got really bogged down in it. And my motivation just like seeped away somehow.

But you like it starts with an amazing opening scene.

It's not bad.

The parts that are written, it's just like starts with an assassination within the White House.

Yeah, it's I think it's like a fun idea. But I just, like, couldn't bring it home.

Yeah, it starts off really, really good. And then, of course, that is the hard part, right? You write a bomb-ass opening scene. And then it's hard to start, like, spiraling that out, flashing it out, and then bringing it all together at the end. You brought in the KKK at some point.

Yeah, it just kept, like, getting big.

I mean, as an advisor on the novel, you brought in the KKK. You were like, could you stone check this for me?

It's just one of those things where, like, I didn't know how to close, how to get it, like, how to end it. And I also didn't know how to end it without making it painfully obvious who the villain was. So it was, like, a structural problem primarily. And it just kept, like, spiraling outward and outward and, like, introducing new and more complex characters in an attempt to try to make it, like, a more complex or difficult to solve puzzle.

If I recall it, I'm not going to say all the dazzling details of that first scene because I think that this is the closest it will ever come to publication. Well, don't say that. Who knows what the future holds? But it begins with, like I said, somebody has an audacious assassination attempt on the president of the United States within the White House. Right. Within maybe even the Oval Office. In the Oval Office. Yeah. But then all I remember from.

I don't want to get on some list about that point. Anything as I think about.

Oh, no. Well, it was a spy novel. it reminded me of it's that it's like that thomas harris book that you always wanted me to read that i finally read on vacation black sunday black sunday right yeah so it's just like kind of that kind of intrigue and but then like that you really did like uh apparently some of the maybe the perpetrators or somehow people end up at like some kkk rally yes i believe white supremacy gets

involved which by the way when i wrote that um you know 12 15 years ago it was like i think you even said like i have a hard time believing that people in power are going to be engaging seriously with like backcountry white supremacists and i was like i know it's like pretty unbelievable i don't

think i said that but somebody your point is taken cut to yeah present day yeah did you have any characters named steven miller in your book um no but anyway back to your point which brought this all up is at you know one day you're working on your book you're like i wrote you into the book I wrote you into the book. And am I right in remembering that maybe we were not in the best place in our relationship at that time? I think we were having some troubles, yeah. Yes. And so I'm like, okay. And I'm reading. I'm enjoying the book. And so you send me, like, the latest draft or whatever, and I pick up. And then you just make – you're just like, oh, I wrote you into the book. And you just had one character who was just a bureaucrat who only got in the way. Like, if you just, like – you might as well have put him in, like, a diaper and spilling milk all over himself and just crying about people walking all over him. You gave him like one paragraph and he was a total, he was a total butt wipe.

Well, he was. Sorry for the language. He was, I mean, definitely the Andrew Walsh as originally conceived was an impediment to the investigation. But, but, you know, mysteries need villains too. They need hurdles and obstacles.

He was unlikable. Yeah. And he was an impediment.

The other point you made was a lot of what he's. A lot of his dialogue is stuff that could be accomplished with a Google search.

Oh, right. His job was just to, like, there's no way to find that out. It's like, oh, really? You haven't heard of Bing? Anyway, thanks for bringing that up. How are we now, by the way, relationship-wise? We're good. Okay, good.

That's why I couldn't bear to return to the novel. It was too painful to know it had hurt you. No, you struck it. I remember.

I think you actually took that part out. I did. Because I spilled my milk all over myself and cried like a baby until you did. Well. Like a real butt wipe.

You know, art imitates life.

So speaking of relationships, one of the things that you love in life, I don't know if we've talked about this on this show or on After These Messages, our podcast about commercials, but I feel like this is a real passion of yours or a real pastime of yours. Certainly a pastime. Reading advice columns. Love them. Now, has this always been true?

I mean, define always.

Like since before I knew you, this was something?

Well, I mean, like everybody has read some Dear Abby in their life. And I think, you know, I think I kind of got into it more when Gawker was still a thing. And Gawker still had Gawker for a while would do like every every year or so Gawker would take a new stab at some kind of advice column as their writers, you know, cycled in and out of of their stable of writers, etc. They would do, you know, love advice. um sometimes it would be like more esoteric some sometimes a little bit more like niche uh advice categories but either way like I always I love Gawker I read it all the time and basically I would read Gawker cover to cover every day and so I would end up you know reading all the advice columns and I kind of just and I think at that time too um uh Slate had a had an advice column that was kind of a big deal for a while. Or was it Salon?

I feel like it was Salon had an advice column that everybody was reading.

Slate and Salon had an advice column that I read a lot, and I just kind of looked forward to it. And so an advice column takes five minutes to read, and then I would find myself in the mood for more. So I started branching out and finding all these other working advice columnists in different publications.

Was it Dear Prudence? It was Dear Prudence. Okay, that was Slate. Is that the one you were thinking of?

I did read a lot of Dear Prudence, but before that, I think it was on Salon. There was a guy named Carrie something.

Carrie Tennis. Carrie Tennis. I'm looking at this now. Okay, yeah. Apparently still going, maybe? No, no, no. Ended in 2013.

Yeah, so I read a lot of Carrie Tennis' advice. So, you know, you start to get to know, Dear Prudence for a while was a woman named Emily Yaffe. Oh, yeah, right. And in hindsight, like, her advice, it was, like, nominally kind of, like, accepting and, you know, progressive. But when you when they replaced her a few years later with with someone else, it suddenly became clear to me in hindsight, like how sort of like repressive and like status quo and like kind of like pretty bad her advice was. So like you take you start to look at this stuff over over a period of years and you see cultural mores evolving and like the kinds of people who get tapped. They're not all just like white women, white middle aged white women, straight, you know, has has has white women, which is for a long time, basically the only people who seemed deemed qualified to give advice.

so by the way ask amy is somebody who does a column i think it's syndicated in various publications now right that's amy dickinson and she's kind of a friend of tbtl because she knows luke through wait wait don't tell me and i think and i was trying to fact check this on on the fly here she came on the show because i thought i'm seeing a headline here someone trolled ask amy by pretending to be johnny from the movie the room oh hi mark the troll but the thing is didn't i thought she was on our show because she was also trolled because somebody basically sent in a somebody sent in a question they needed advice but they were basically recreating whatever the plot of the song like i want to say voices carry yeah it's

voices carry by um uh till tuesday yeah but who's who's the who's the name um it's uh uh yes somebody

that we like a lot she did the soundtrack for amy man amy man yes yeah it was really funny it was

basically the video somebody told the story of the video of um voices carry which is about

infidelity and that was also amy dickinson i think that's what she came on tbtl to talk about

or maybe it was the room one it might have been her i thought dear prudence got uh got got with

the with the till tuesday one oh okay i'm conflating those but it's something it's a sport

right that some people engage in where they try to like frame something up in such a way that the fake letter doesn't get caught and a fake letter gets through and you know I think I'm sure Amy had some interesting things to say about whether or not a fake like is there value to

And giving a real answer to a fake letter, because even a fake letter, if it's believable enough, is going to speak to somebody's experience, you know?

Yeah. I have a list of some recent advice columns that I want to read to you. And I want you to address them in two different ways. Number one, I want you to guess if you had an art, if you have not already read the ones that I'm going to share with you, I'd like you to guess what the advice is. OK. And I'd like you to tell us what your advice would be if it differs from what you guess the advice would be.

OK.

But before we get to that, I have a question for you.

Are you going to tell me which columns I'm.

Yeah, I'll tell you who it is. Yeah, because you know that ask Amy might answer something different than the ethicist. Right. OK, cool. So that's good. But I have a question for you. I'm going to go Jiminy Glick here.

Okay.

Genevieve! Why? Why do you like these? That's a terrible Jiminy Glick. We really need Luke to come back ASAP.

I thought it was recognizable. You go high, you go low. It helped that you set it up as being by Jiminy Glick.

Well, that's my thing.

That's your special sauce.

I do a lot of imitations around the home.

Yeah.

None of them are especially good, But you can usually guess them because I say, do you want to hear my impression of blank?

Yes, exactly. Usually. And I do want to stress, usually can guess them.

Batty. That's my limited fake, as they say on the Ed Levitant show.

The two of us just have been going around the house lately saying, Batty. Batty. Batty. That's all we've got.

Yeah. That's no ho-hank. Okay. So why do you like these?

Well, mostly it's voyeurism. My more than any more than any advice answer, I love advice questions because I love people spelling out their version of the events that are causing them a dilemma. Right. And so I love I love anything that's like I love anything wedding or mother in law related. if it's both like that rings all the bells for me i like problems i'm more attracted to questions that are i'll read any i'll read any advice column it can be the most serious to the most trivial but i i really am happiest in the space where the advice is about something that's petty um and or like or or evolve involving like etiquette but like etiquette for weddings etiquette for gift giving for you know thank you notes tips tips um and i like it especially my favorite my most favorite advice seeking letter is one where the advice seeker is oblivious to the fact that they are the asshole ah yes that is the there was one that's the just chef's kiss oh my you know i hope

we have time to get to one of these as i was going through these today and prepping the show i realized I heard on my favorite AM radio show here. I just mentioned her yesterday on TVTL. I think Stacey Rost. I always say her name wrong. Stacey Jo Rost has a talk show in the middays on the sports station. It has nothing to do with anything but sports, but she was just overwhelmed by the stupidity of somebody who wrote into Carolyn Hacks. What is Carolyn Hacks' column called? Is it just Carolyn Hacks?

I think it's just Carolyn Hacks. She writes for the Washington Post.

Okay, yeah.

My favorite piece of trivia about Carolyn Hacks is that her ex-husband, who's also the illustrator of the little cartoons that go with it, is named something Galifianakis, and he's a cousin of Zach Galifianakis.

Oh, really? Yes. That is interesting.

You see a name like Galifianakis, you're going to Google.

You're going to Google that. You know? Yeah. So I'll try to mention the one that Stacey mentioned on her show the other day. I won't bring it up now, although I'm tempted to, but it's like so oblivious, so oblivious what this guy is asking advice for. Like what? Like in a certain way, it's like those are the ones that seem the fakest to me because it's like somebody must be creating this character.

And yet we go through life and people are oblivious assholes all the time. That's true.

So not that we have to categorize this within an inch of its life, but you kind of have like some broad categories like you say like etiquette stuff but then family stuff like you know in-laws parents kids whatever but then you have relationship like romantic relationship that's kind of be the biggest one i would say right i think so i mean relationships are complicated

relationships are are a big category and they can encompass a lot of things like is there is a question about like and i don't know if this is one that you picked out today but is this one i read recently is a question like my husband um uh always has miles and can get upgraded to first class but he makes me me the adult wife and my and our kids fly in coach oh i think i just saw that one recently yeah i think it was the I thought it was the kid. I didn't know it was the spouse. It was the spouse. Oh, that's different. I think kid, even adult kid versus spouse in that situation is very different.

Yeah. I mean, I would kill you where you stand before I would let you put me in a different part of the train, a plane than you.

But the irony is you're the one who would be more likely to be upgraded to first class because you save points and everything. And if we boarded a plane and you were just, or if we were making plans and you said, hey, listen, I have enough miles to sit in first. I mean, I would do it to you. Sure. Yeah, and I wouldn't have any problem with that.

Yeah, because that's not your problem, but it would be a problem for me. What I mostly have a problem with in a lot of – but anyway, I only raise that one because, like, is that a relationship question? You know, or is it a – like, what kind of – questions just bleed across so many different categories. So many of the questions, and these are kind of the craziest-making ones for me, are from women who are describing a situation that is patently intolerable, but they're so beaten down and their expectations are brought so low by the patriarchy that they just like they they're asking it's like the whole world is gaslighting and they're like you know is this is it acceptable that i work the same or more number of hours as my husband and yet um like you know he expects me to do all of this extra work around the house and never lifts a finger and it's like no that's not acceptable i'm sorry no one's told you that before now in 2023 the

year of our lord and he's an aspiring rapper who's making sounds with his body yeah i mean right like

that's that's amy schumer's making fun of the same thing there right like these like women's expectations for how they will be treated in a relationship are unreal sometimes yeah that's

sad um i'm going to let's take a little break when we come back we'll get into these the first one i want to i'll give a little teaser here the first one is my girlfriend wrote me into her novel but it wasn't very flattering this is an ask amy one and so we're gonna start with that and then see these better be real no no these are real that was that was just a spoof but uh we'll do all that and we'll have some music for your weekend coming up in just a second here on tbtl all right welcome back to tbtl that sounded very radio-esque welcome back to tbtl andrew walsh here genevieve sitting in for luke burbank have traffic on the sevens um as we said before the break today's show is going to be dedicated to advice columns i'm going to share with you genevieve some of these advice columns that have run recently in various publications and again just to set this up i want you to tell me what you think the writer is going to say in response and then i want you to tell me what you would say in response if it's different this first one is from the ask amy column we're just talking about uh amy dickinson right yep um and some of these you may have read recently this one is girlfriend won't halt contact with male friend

who hits on her does this ring a bell to you no although it's a it's in a category that's very

familiar to me even in my brief research today i came up i came upon several of these types of things like somebody at a work party is flirting with my flirty wife the desire to police romantic

a romantic partner's interactions with another with a romantic rival is like that's a whole

subcategory so let me read some of this to you i'm going to maybe try to edit on the fly here uh this is from somebody who signs it confounded that'd be the best part of writing a a letter into one of these columns right coming up with your anonymous signature yes is it a lot of people

do like an alliteration right like you know confounded in cleveland or whatever i would be belittled in book probably not too happy with novel

all right so this one is dear amy from confounded cheryl and i cheryl's in quotes cheryl and i have been together for three years she recently took a trip to her hometown while While there, she met up with a married friend of hers who has been blatantly inappropriate in the past. While she was gone, I was busy planning a proposal, ring, shopping, venue, photography, the works.

This person is proposing and they're also like looking for a venue and a photographer. Like, how about we put the cart behind the horse?

Yeah, I clearly expressed my discomfort with this friendship. but Cheryl went ahead and met with him anyway. She has other male friends I have absolutely no qualms about.

Her lack of boundaries, though, has been an occasional issue, but this time I feel really hurt. We discussed this with our therapist, who also thought it was not okay that she met with this friend, but Cheryl seems to think there's nothing wrong with it. I'd like to interject there. As I was reading, I was like, yeah, but this is also your takeaway from the therapy session. I don't think you can ever trust anybody who says, the couple's therapist said I was right. That doesn't really sound like what couple's therapists do.

I do think sometimes therapists are they're human and they're not all great. They're not. They didn't all graduate at the top of their class.

But you hear what you want to hear. The therapist probably said a lot of stuff. And this person is reiterating the part that like.

Assuming this is a good therapist. I think that's true. But I also think that therapists do start some some therapists. It's not it's not unknown for a therapist to begin to over identify with one half of a couple or to, you know, to start to take sides. You know, we all have our personal likes and dislikes. And like that that can happen for therapists as much as anybody else. So like it shouldn't. And like, you know, but like I said, like there are lots of people who are bad at their jobs.

Yeah. The listeners know that. So Confounded goes on to say, and I think this is sort of the key here. She says that they did meet up in a restaurant and he tried making a pass at her. Remember, this guy's married, too, I think. But nothing happened during our therapy session. I pleaded that if she truly didn't see a reason to block this person, would she at least do it for me? She said she did block him, but it turns out she just, quote, hid his messages. I don't know what that means. When I learned that she lied, I was crushed. She says the guy doesn't add any value to her life, but somehow it was too difficult to cut him loose. I really love her. We had been in a really good place, but how do we build a marriage without trust? Am I the insecure one here? Does her moral compass need some calibration? This problem keeps me up at night. What do you think Amy said here?

I think Amy will have said something along the lines of, and I've not read this, so I don't know, will have said something along the lines of, your problem is not this particular guy, because if you're going to build a life with someone, there are any number of third parties who could come into your orbit as a couple who could create anxiety for you. you know like a like a work a work someone at work who like she you know and by the way people who are in long-term relationships are attracted to and get crushes on people outside of the relationship and it's not a federal crime and it's just natural and it just is normal not me obviously but other people right no i think we actually should do as a society and this isn't me like advocating like some stealth advocacy for poly if that's your bag that's fine but that's not what i'm saying i'm saying it's normal and healthy to be attracted to people outside of your primary relationship and how you handle that is based on the ethics that you've established and the like the moral framework you've established with your with your partner having gotten that out of the way whether or not this woman whatever this woman is getting out of this relationship or you know rekindled connection with this guy and i can't remember is he an ex-boyfriend of hers

just a friend i think a friend who um often acts blatantly inappropriate is the quote there which

is you know as per the judgment of this of this of her partner which i'm assuming is a man does

he say or does do they say um i think this is a man and woman relationship let's just assume it

is a man let's just assume for the sake of of my like not tripping over my pronouns that he's a he

and she's a she um I guess it doesn't specifically say that but I'm kind of guessing I'm just sort of guessing based on she has other male friends like it sounds like this is a straight couple

yeah which is fine um so I think what Amy probably said was your problem isn't with this particular dude your problem is that you don't have enough trust and a fan a good foundation right now with your partner it's good that you're in therapy um but before you you know keep before Like you should slow your role on the ring and the venue shopping and the photographer hiring, because what you have to do is work on having a foundation of trust with your partner. And if that, you know, like she shouldn't be telling you that she's done things to hide this relationship from you.

That's the sticky wicket.

she shouldn't do that but you also are putting her in a position where she probably feels like it's like the path of least resistance to just kind of not not put it in front of your face all the time if you don't believe that she's being faithful if you think she's being and he doesn't say anywhere i think she's being unfaithful he says i don't like the feeling of her being with someone who's clearly attracted to her and that's what he they need to work on as a couple not whether or not she sees a particular individual and it's really inappropriate for adults to police people's uh time with other individuals in general i will say that Amy's response is is a bit shorter than that and doesn't hit on all those points she actually takes more issue with the fact that the woman felt the need to continue this relationship with I'll call him the creepy guy but lie about it like Amy basically says um you know she has responded by making sure to tell you that he made a pass at her and then dodging and then lying about it she could have responded your insecurities are unfounded I have a right to have the friends i want to have and if you were so worried about this guy you should have come along to meet him yourself which that's i don't know about that but i don't know about that but um she does say instead she slid past you and your therapist with what sounds like a version of i don't know why i like this guy but i do know that i don't care how this makes you feel so you should take a close look at her willingness or ability to dive into her own feelings um but i mean basically I think we can all agree that there are bigger things at play here before we go and we pick a

venue for the wedding yeah I am kind of surprised that she dialed in so hard on the woman's behavior because I agree both I don't think either these people have acted with a tremendous amount of maturity or respect for each other and I don't think they should be trying to get married what

do you think confounded did oh he it sounds like he just communicated this makes me uncomfortable It doesn't sound like he did anything beyond that.

I don't like when adults tell other adults, you need to block this person. Like, you know, this is like if you ever told me that, like, somebody is off limits to me, that would be a very red, big red flag to me.

But if there was somebody who blatantly hit on you.

I have had friends who blatantly hit on me.

But if it was but if it was something that made me uncomfortable, I could have that conversation with you and be like, hey, I don't really like the way it makes me feel when, you know, leaving out even what your reaction to that would be in the moment, right? I mean, it could be a conversation without it becoming totally controlling.

Well, so we have this conversation. You say, I don't like it. And I say, I'm sorry you feel that way. I hope you know that you can trust me, that I would never violate the terms of our relationship. But this is a relationship that for whatever reason, whether it's ego gratifying or I just really enjoy this person's company, but I am aware and I share your awareness that they are attracted to me but nothing's going to happen like just because they're attracted to me doesn't mean that anyone's going to act on that and i'm not going to uh curtail my my friendship with this person i mean that's who is it that's my answer i want names so that's my answer what what's your response to that does it block them i want you to block right well i don't even know i mean i don't

know how you would block people but i mean i think it's i think it's male female otherwise other way around or same sex couple no matter what it is i feel like you can have a conversation be like hey when you're around this person it makes me uncomfortable i don't think that is yeah i mean

your feelings are your feelings right yeah but i i think his feelings i think he he went past having a feeling and went into controlling behavior and i am and i'm surprised that that wasn't called out in a in a more uh specific way here's one i'm gonna stick with ask amy for now

here's one that is really up my alley as far as like kind of petty grievances are concerned and i wish there were more of these i actually find the the relationship ones to be kind of a bit repetitive i agree like it's often this is control issues it's trust issues it's and it's

and 99.9 percent of the time is the answer the correct answer is you need to talk about this with your partner not an advice columnist um and usually with a side of therapy if you're not already in it um but that's why i do like the petty ones better because the details are always more interesting it's always like you know my mother-in-law is coming to our wedding but she insists on wearing the wedding dress that she wore to her wedding because she's so proud that she can still fit into it how do i get my mother-in-law not to wear her you know wedding dress with a 15-foot train to my own wedding so i was segwaying into another email but now i'm

thinking about something and i'm trying to figure out if i can communicate this to you without giving too many details but when you and i were more newly dating not brand new but like within the first year or two of our relationship you came back to cleveland with me uh where i grew up of course um and there was a woman who i didn't even date but had like a pretty heavy flirtation with before you you remember this scene right yeah she was flirting with you in front of me and it was and yeah and she was being very i thought very inappropriate yeah so in this scenario let's say that we lived in the same town imagine you and i living in cleveland that probably would end the relationship right there um or this person lives in seattle and i'm going out with her a lot like just hanging out like don't you think it would be within your right to be like hey listen like and then on the occasion that maybe you do Thank you. us together, her inappropriate heavy flirt. I just like to bring this up because it's so rare that people flirt with me and it's just amazing that this even happened. But, like, it was very inappropriate. It was right in front of you. There was physical touching going on. Like, if you knew that

this behavior... I mean, hands on arms, to be clear. She wasn't, like, groping you or anything.

I think she draped her legs across my lap at one point,

I believe. I could be wrong. She was heavily

flirting with you. She must have been into her cups or something. she must have thought i was somebody else i think she was it was a little bit of like a power it was a power yeah because i knew her first but this again i want to make it clear this wasn't even anybody i had a i was in a relationship with i think we were somebody who were maybe we were flirting with that idea maybe um before i moved away or something but anyway um if she was a regular presence in my life i think that would bother you right wouldn't you try to ask me to draw some boundaries around that well i'm trying to remember what my

my main memory of that reaction of my reaction in the moment and and you know at at the time was like like sort of appalled at her behavior because it was very inappropriate but mostly like amused because because it was me no because it was like i know that's i know you do feel like you know you don't you know like you're not some you know lothario lothario and so i i kind of did think it was funny and please tell me if i'm if i have put a i remember you being pretty upset really yeah yeah not at me you were no no you didn't do anything wrong you weren't mad at me

but you were just like and that's what i'm saying like that's why i use the word upset it just upset you i think i remember you being like kind of yeah i it was kind of appalling yeah you weren't

like laughing it off like it was a fun time in the years since it has come to be a memory that i cherish because it is the last time you saw well just because it's like i enjoy like i enjoy being flirted with so i would imagine like you would enjoy being yeah you love coming home from parties and being like oh somebody hit on me it happens infrequently but when it does i really enjoy it and i love to tell i mean i'm telling you about it because it doesn't mean anything right other than it's an a stroke to my ego but i think it would be different if then like you

continue to like seek out the friendship of people who acted inappropriately but anyway if you were but if you said but again maybe this is like the airplane thing maybe i'm just a nice person you're not but it'd be like one of those things if you said hey listen like this is kind of i think this person acts inappropriately around you and it makes you it kind of upsets me i think i'd have to have like a really strong connection to that person like they saved my life or we were best friends once in order for me to be like no if that's gonna make you uncomfortable like that's fair like i will i will handle that situation well let's just say for the sake of argument that you

really did like this person you do have a real connection that transcends just the the ego gratification of getting hit on yeah then i guess my my ask of you and it would be an ask not a tell is hey could you ask her to like tone it down a little bit it's your friendship to to maintain this is what makes me uncomfortable i don't want to be around it when you're when this is happening i don't you know i don't have any like in general i like for us to be around each other's friends so could we like maybe find a solution here where i don't have to be around somebody hitting on you in front of me but like that's as far as i would go in terms of making a request and i wouldn't I would never tell you to cut someone out of your life unless I mean, you know, I might tell you if I thought somebody was bad for you or hurtful to you, I would express that opinion. And even then, it's not a tell. It's a it's a ask or a piece of advice.

Well, I'm taking that as a green light and I'm looking up her email address right now. OK, I was transitioning into a non-relationship post here. This is from somebody who goes by. And I promise you, this is not me writing in. But they signed their email, Neat Neighbor, Dear Amy, Summer is almost here.

Oh, I love fights about clownliness.

Love them. Summer is almost here. And a house on our street has a really unkempt lawn. It looks as if it hasn't been mowed at all. We live on a nice street, Genevieve, I'm sorry, Amy, with small front lawns and all the neighbors take pride. There is a local ordinance regarding this, but I'm on the fence about turning in these people. Another neighbor mentioned reporting them. And now we're both wondering what you think. Signed, neat neighbor. Going right to the turn them in is such a tell, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. I want to be like, I don't know what Amy said. These when to turn people in is always an interesting question. It really depends on the advice columnist. there are advice columnists who will say knock on the person's door offer to fix up their yard if they don't do it then turn them in some people there are advice columnists that I've read who would probably say like you're enacting you know you know supremacy narratives on somebody and you don't know you don't define what a normal yard looks like and you know you could be calling you could be getting someone in trouble who has incredible you know has like a lot of uh obstacles or disadvantages and like you don't know what you're setting what kind of trouble you're setting someone up for that's a

good point could be somebody who's not in the country legally but is exactly any any number of things an amazing good family who just can't prioritize their lawn who has a disability right exactly but i'm saying the reason i'm saying like if it's somebody in the country illegally like one small fraction like this could could destroy not just a life but potentially generations i will

add that we also live on a nice street where people take care of their lawns and there's one house on our street that drives me up a wall because it looks like a garbage dump oh the one

over there yeah i'm uh listeners i'm pointing yeah i honestly know not the one over there because there's one across the street that is super long grass too but that doesn't bother you as much

You're talking about the one with active garbage.

Yeah, that's rough, man.

It's very rough. And I really did think about the other day at least going and collecting the boxes and half empty, you know, like busted up plastic crates and milk crates and stuff that are in front of their fence. Because I thought maybe if I just get those and clean those out, because I think there's nothing stopping me from doing that. I think technically that's on public access. You know, I would have to go past anybody's property line. And that might make me feel a little bit better if that was a little bit cleaned up. But I also am sensitive to, like, I don't, we don't even like it really when people park next to our house.

Yeah, we live in a weird neighborhood that doesn't really have sidewalks, but we have these very long tree lawns. And it's like the tree lawns almost seem like an extension of one's property. It feels that way. And it definitely feels that way. And so, like, we park on our tree lawn. But then sometimes when a big truck or something, as it just happened today, kind of parked in this area right outside of our fence, it felt really imposing to us. It felt intrusive. But legally, like, they can park there. It's a huge, like, kind of tree lawn area. But also, if I were trying to mow today, I wouldn't be able to mow where that truck was parked. Right, and we do mow. We'd actually take – the city doesn't take care of it. We take care of it. So we kind of live in a weird neighborhood. So what do you think – what would you tell this person? Forget about what you think another advice columnist would say. What would you say if they said, hey, listen, me and my neighbor are thinking about, as they say, turning this person in or reporting them?

I think the middle way is the right way to start, which is to respectfully knock on the door. And I see there's this guy who does this on Instagram all the time. He knocks on people's doors who have really overgrown lawns and just takes care of it for them for free. It's like a service.

But he lets them know first. He doesn't just start mowing. Yeah, yeah, no.

Don't just start mowing. That would be very rude. But I think if you have the bandwidth and you care and you are able to bring yourself to do it, knock on the door. it sounds like it's not like wouldn't be like acres and acres of mowing knock on the door and ask if they would like some help taking care of the lawn maybe it seems like a passive aggressive move but if it's bothering you that much that's the right thing to do that's also the probably the hardest thing to do it's easy to make an anonymous call to whatever whoever i know what or i guess the city would be the ordinance uh you know governor but the right thing to do the neighborly thing to do is to offer to help because like you said like

you just don't know you don't know what they're dealing with that's almost exactly what amy said a very short response here you don't seem to know this family's before turning them in so that's interesting it sort of sounds like amy is implying that that could be something that you keep on the table but um she says quote you don't seem to know this family but before turning them in you might want to knock on their door and offer to cut their front lawn for them tell them it's no big deal i'll be done in 15 minutes they might be older unwell overwhelmed some church and community groups will take on this task bringing over a small crew of volunteers i assume that this assistance is gratefully received by the homeowners it is a tough thing you just don't know what people are dealing with and like sometimes somebody might be overwhelmed even just emotionally overwhelmed then they're just like maybe like staying inside they have the time they technically have the bandwidth but they're just struggling with whatever and so if you knock on their door they could see that and say hey can I mow your lawn for you they might be oh that would be really great thanks it might be mortified but they might also just be like they might get really defensive about it and just like keep your damn nose out of my business it's possible that's definitely

something that you might hear and I think we also should all be a little bit more comfortable with living through an unpleasant interaction you know yeah uh that's the that's the tough thing I think

about something you said a lot um something that you once said to me I think about I think about it a lot and i don't know if you'll remember this but i was going through a phase where i felt like i was confronting people more than usual i'm a pretty non-confrontational kind of person until i hit some petty limit out in public and then as we've talked about on the show a lot and then i do something breaks the camel's back and then i do something but i'm i'm so uncomfortable with confrontation that i say something bizarre that

You

we'll just confuse the person like the time i yelled polite car somebody who was parked across several parking spots he whatever i was like real polite car man and then i just remember the look of just like he wasn't even it really disarmed him because he's like what are we what's wrong with this person um but i don't think i don't know if it was that i don't know if it was in like a retail sector of like standing up for myself to get what i i don't know what it was but i remember having confrontations like low level confrontations nothing nasty nothing illegal or toxic but just standing up for myself but then feeling so bad about it later yeah and you saying like you got to choose like you can either be the confrontational type and live with it or you can just be a little bit more meek and mild and not beat yourself up every night over whatever interaction you had earlier in the day but you can't be somebody who is engaging in confrontation and then just spending the next week destroying yourself over it yeah it's just they're not compatible they're really not i think about that a lot and then i realized there's no answer um so here i'm gonna skip ahead to miss manners miss manners now is judith martin now this is i'm looking at her um profile pic here like she is you what people think of when they think about the old school quintessential advice columnist. She's got a shirt that is literally buttoned all the way up to the top, two buttons, actually, on the collar, a white woman with white hair, probably in her late 60s or so. And she goes by Miss Manners. This is Judith Martin. Of course, there have been many Miss Manners throughout the years, but I assume they never have to change that picture. I don't know.

They just do a little bit of morphing like from that Michael Jackson video.

Right, exactly. Dear Miss Manners, By the way, the subject line here is, friends keep flaking on my T's.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. There's so much. I have so much cognitive dissonance about this email from the demographic of the person writing in, but choosing to write into Miss Manners to somebody who's trying to throw T parties. Okay, so here we go. Dear Miss Manners, I have hosted several T's for five to eight of my friends, most of them around my age. mid-twenties or a little bit younger okay twist right yeah was it some cottagecore shit probably my difficulty is with the rsvps each time i've had multiple guests tell me the day of the tea that they're no longer able to attend for reasons such as being tired having to work having to get work done girl i feel you to go grocery shopping i've gone through increasing lengths to formalize the event in the hope that would build more commitment to the responses for the most recent tea i gave out formal handwritten invitations three weeks in advance see this is one of those things where at first it's kind of like oh yeah people should rsvp honestly but then like the more you hear it like yeah you're an exhausting person who's inviting people to exhausting things they don't want to say yes for the most recent tea i gave out formal handwritten invitations three weeks in advance requested and received responses two weeks in advance and still went from seven expected guests to four within hours of the event i haven't wanted to invite more people than i can host and rely on last minute cancellations um anyway point is she's splashing out for these things people aren't showing up she's trying to lock people in by making it more and more formalized um but i mean it sounds to me pretty obvious i'm sorry this is not my role here but it's like yeah because you're exhausted and like you need to read the room girl but anyway you know i assume girl

why this might be a might be a fella it might be a fellow but it's not i'd be more surprised if it

was a man to be fair i need to find some solution neither my salary nor my energy allows for continuing to prepare for twice as many guests as will actually attend how can i while being mannerly myself request or instill a sense of commitment in my friend's responses to my

invitations what do you think miss manners said well i think often the when a friend group is being is not meeting the needs of the friend who's writing in which is again a subgenre of these these letters often the advice columnist will say you should sit down with your friends or your most your closest friends and and just have an honest conversation about how this is making you feel so that maybe the next time you know you you send one of these out um like people are uh people are more apt to understand like what that what the significance of their bailing on it it would be to you but in this case because she seems so high maintenance with her her time. I wonder if the advice might not also be, you need to change the way that you entertain to either you need to get different friends, motivate your current friends to, you know, operate in a different way, or you need to change your, change the way that you interact with them and entertain them to something that they can more easily manage, you know, like throw, make it a potluck or have an event that is less formal and less budget busting. um but also like makes you less frustrated when people flake at the last minute having said that i it does make me kind of create i i have i like to host i like to entertain um and i i like to entertain across a pretty big spectrum from like small intimate gatherings to like big ragers where the difference between you know 50 people and 50 and 75 people is negligible right so like the more the merrier but it is frustrating and i feel like i know who those friends are in my life who i can almost guarantee they're a flip of a coin on the day of you know it's true and so well

miss manners here has a very milquetoast response just says stop inviting the ones who consistently fail to show that will likely be the only way to teach your guests commitment i guess that's interesting i guess that's not quite milquetoast that's like you're going to teach them by not inviting them really i think that like amy might have just said like well clearly some aren't really that interested if they hadn't shown up. I'd be careful if it's always the same flakes. Yeah, because that's the thing. We have a friend who often won't show up for things at the very last minute will kind of cancel plans, which never bothers me because I'm always you know, I'm like, there's a lot of cartoons out there now about like people who are just like, hey, let's get together and cancel plans sometime, right? It's sort of a, I feel like a generational joke here. Yeah. But we do have a friend who I know from conversations with them that they get really hurt when they're not invited to things. They're very hurt when they're not invited to things but then also is like probably the number one person who's probably going to drop out at the last minute so that's then that becomes a thing because it's not like it's easy for me to read this and be like well you sound like a doofus and these friends aren't respecting you cut them out but like you still love people who are imperfect we love people

who are imperfect and it also I think is easy for you to read that and go like that sounds boring I wouldn't want to go anyway I would say no in the first place so it would never be an issue for me But she doesn't like a handful, though, the writer. Yeah, she seems high maintenance for sure.

Another thing she said, by the way, that I kind of skipped over. This is a long letter said, like, another way I tried to lock people in was by asking people to bring food and signing them up for food, thinking that, like, if they have a commitment to bring food, then they're less likely to bail. Miss Manners is like, no, that's don't do that, because then you're going to end up short on guests and short on food.

If these people are too flaky to show up, they're also going to be too flaky to make a casserole.

And if people aren't showing up, and this goes back to my thing, this person sort of sounds exhausting, like you're making them even more exhausting. One thing that I am just learning now, Genevieve, is that while the Miss Manners responses aren't all that great, there is a comment section on them that is so much better. Somebody's like, I don't want to rain on the writer's parade, but it sounds as if they like tea parties a good deal more than their friends do. It's a niche interest. Invite the ones who always are delighted. Another person responded to that by saying, or it could be the other thing. They like tea parties, but they don't like the person who's hosting them, which could also be it. But here's where it gets really sublime. A whole bunch of people are trying to get invited to the tea parties now. Literally, oh, this is a proper tea party. I'm totally there. I'm not in my 20s, but I could still do it. Somebody writes in, I will bring my grandmother's silver tea service. I know the correct way to pour so I can help the hostess serve. And the people are like, we need to have a tea party. This is the, I didn't even realize this before I read it out loud to you, that this has become a place where a bunch of people who are enthused about tea parties are going to get together and have tea parties.

Yeah, it's always funny when, I do, I also love comment sections on advice columns because, yeah, people sometimes, there can be a pile-on effect where, like, they take a side for or against the letter writer and it becomes, like, you know, pretty mean and bullying, kind of. You know, like, it goes from, like, this person made a social faux pas to, like, this person should be put in jail. Right. Shades of Bean Dad. Oh, yeah. So, like, but sometimes it does become a thing where, like, you can see how lonely and hungry for connection people are because they envision themselves in these social situations but like but like writing the wrong that's been perpetrated against the the letter writer

anyway you want to have a tea party i don't i know somebody yeah but do they have a silver

tea service and do they know how to pour correctly i know how to pour correctly i can help

i love the enthusiasm all right i had more here but

I'm just going to go with one more Caroline Hacks. Is it Carolyn or Caroline? I don't know. Okay. Let's say Carolyn Hacks in the post, happily married and hounding ex from 25 years ago. This is the one that I said was so galling. I heard it on a sports show the other day. That often does not go outside the bounds of sports talk. But Stacey Jo Ross mentioned this on her show. She's like, I just got to. She came back from a commercial. She's like, I just got to get this off my chest. Listen to this. The person writes in, let's see, what do they sign it? A 30-year-old question. Dear Carolyn, about five years ago, I began to realize that a woman I dated 25 years earlier was someone I had stronger feelings for than I was mature enough to appreciate at the time. I had questions for her about why we hadn't blossomed into the kind of relationship I now think we both believe we were destined for. In the past five years, I've continued to have those questions. Then dreams, et cetera, which led me to do a paid search for her address. Again, this is a relationship that goes back 25 years. So this is probably a person even a bit older than us because it sounds like this person has moved on. So I'm putting this person probably at least in their mid-50s, okay? So I did a paid search for her address. I wrote to her twice and left a voicemail. My messages have been about –

That's too many times.

My messages have been about old friends I bumped into who reminded me of her, what I've been doing, and how I'd like to hear from her. That is nothing too serious or about what's on my mind. I haven't received an answer. I've thought through the reasons she hasn't corresponded and why I needed to talk with her, and I'm still at a loss. Would asking her my questions directly in a letter be a way to coax her to reconnect? So, again, saying that, like, this person who's clear, again, gender isn't mentioned, but clearly this is a dude. yeah he's reaching out to her he's nipping around the edges but not getting into the serious thing but it's obvious yeah hey i ran into somebody who reminded me of you you know i'm still at a loss would asking her my questions directly in a letter be a way to coax her to reconnect genevieve there's a twist telling her that apart from this midlife crisis of mine i'm happily married and successful and that all i want are answers did you see that coming dude is married

didn't it say that in the headline

oh did it oh yeah happily married and hounding ex I guess I should have I guess I should have thought about what I was saying earlier the first time I read this I think I skipped the headline or something or when I heard Stacy talking about it like that was a reveal that happened later it was like oh also this person is happily married like even if you weren't married this would be inappropriate like what are you talking about

this is a narcissist saying dear carolyn i'm screaming into the void how can i make the void scream back it's so like like read the room it's she's not interested and i hope that's the only thing that she has to say in response leave her alone she is clearly not interested in any in any further uh discussions

with you it's the very first response from um who is this again a carolyn hacks is happily married so your wife knows of this practice burn yeah like jesus christ like if you can't talk i mean hey man if you're telling your wife about all of this like more power to you both i guess but also stop it even if you are like yeah no it's still inappropriate to the third party but also just like what the what in the world do you think like how are you like well so i started having dreams about her so i used a paid service to find out where she is get her information leaving voicemails and again he says letters but i don't know if he means emails or he says got her address so it It could be like handwritten letters that are, oh, but I'm keeping it light. Yeah.

Let me tell you, there is no law against reaching out to someone that you haven't talked to in a long time, but you get one, count them, one outreach, active outreach, whether it's a phone call, you know, a letter, email, whatever. And if you do not hear back, that is it. Yeah. You have shot your shot.

Yes, exactly.

more than one and I like I don't care how light you kept it or what extenuating circumstances

there are they don't want to hear from you I promised you we would do a quick quick show today about a half hour but I've enjoyed myself so much I didn't realize we're already over an hour into this so I should let you go yeah um but you have work to do uh before we wrap up this segment and get into some music for your weekend um do you have any like kind of memorable advice columns that you think about from time to time that you read years ago

gosh that's a good question I wish I'd thought about this in advance I'm kind of springing it on you I mean there are some that are kind of like infamous for being about topics that are so taboo or Like, uh, my sister and I live in an attic. Um, isn't there some, isn't there some like, when you say the word taboo, I think a lot

of them are, there are some incest ones that are very, but when I said my sister, I live

in an attic, I don't even think that's the plot of what I'm thinking of, but there was some, weren't there some like young adult books about a brother and sister who were too into each other and has something to do with an attic. Am I making this up?

You're thinking of flowers in the attic to describe it as a young adult book is wildly mischaracterizing it it's it's an adult book it's an adult book okay for adults and i want to stress

that to all the adults listening it's only for adults okay for some reason i thought this was

like a weird young adult no it's a i mean i read it as a young adult i read as a teenager but like in the way that you know all teenagers read things that are inappropriate because they're trying to figure the world out um it's a romance novel that's that's incest themed yeah i see are the kids young in it they are i see they grow up together in like a very effed up situation and it

like warps their sexuality but anyway i'm glad we just spent five minutes explaining a terrible vc andrews for the win baby a terrible joke uh did vc andrews end up kind of carving a uh vc andrews is a woman right i think so did she end up like kind of because of the popularity of that book end up like sticking with that theme and other works well there are probably

a hundred titles that are attributed to vc andrews flowers in the attic she definitely did right and then i think she wrote further entries in this in the series about that same family universe okay and then there are and then more and more series started to come from from the from the desk of vc andrews but basically it's one of those writers that like a big desk it became like kind of a factory where they just churned out this pulpy incest themed uh and it was always like really just gratuitous like always beautiful young girls in some sort of terrible distress deep poverty or imprisoned somewhere and somehow their only salvation is like their young uncle

or whatever and then it's all pretty gross and then romance blooms and then romance blossoms Anyway, I kind of cut you off. You said taboo. I made a terrible joke about it. Now I just have you explaining V.C. Andrews to me.

You know, I don't know that any one of them stand out to me, especially just I just like the ones that are like like the pettiest disputes are the more fun ones. Like I will read the ones that are about tragedy, of course, but like anything that like relates to a dilemma that I might be having in my own life. I'll certainly open that one up.

I love my boyfriend too much. How can I show him? I feel like I'm not I feel like my gestures aren't grand enough someone flirted with my boyfriend at a bar 20 years ago how should I handle my feelings and now he's bringing it up for some reason all right let's share a little bit of music for your weekend here and then we got to get out of here Genevieve I'm going to do things out of order today I think I will play my song first and then a listener submission friend of the show submission I should say and then we'll go out with your pick okay so this first one that i'm gonna play for you i don't know too much about these folks in fact i know nearly nothing about this band but this song came across the transom recently in fact i'm kind of um glad to play it here next i think luke would absolutely hate this song uh it's by a band called snooper s-n-o-o-p-e-r but there's a little like uh tildes over the o's what does that mean oh i think what it means is they're just they wanted to do something special to their name okay so you don't say it in a weird way i don't think you say snooper i think you just say snooper anyway the name of the song is fitness they're kind of one of those arty little punky bands i think like the lead singer is like a visual artist who does a lot of stuff with like puppets and i think directs their videos and stuff and then i think the the main songwriter maybe is a guy with some some punk rock credibility uh and i think they're from nashville i want to say um and anyway this song came into my email box and it's called fitness and like i can play almost the whole thing for you it's so short it's just a little poppy weird sound it's a very weird sounding little poppy punky song with uh some good use of audio drops i think so this song is called fitness by snooper maybe it'll get you to uh to to get your eagle soaring a little bit i guess really bodybuilding is somewhat of a science it's more than just lifting weights isn't it Yes, sir. Every now and then we get emails from people who will say,

sometimes just in passing like I love the show I do not understand your taste in music at all though and I feel like I feel like that's one for all of them. Oh I like it I liked it. Yeah no I mean you know again it's also a very short song like I just faded it out but it was about to end there anyway. I don't know what their whole catalog is like but you throw that on a summer mix as a quick little put a little pep in your step why not. We got a note from our friend and good friend to the show Broadcast Barry who sent us This says, hey, new song out by the Seattle band Juliet. Juliet Daniel, by the way, goes by Juliet, and it is spelled J-U-L exclamation point E-T.

Oh, a lot of punctuation talk.

Yeah, a lot of punctuation fun today. Kids these days, you know. Kids these days.

Do you know that I just, the other day, this is so embarrassing, it just occurred to me that FKA Twigs.

I don't know what that is.

She's an artist, right? Oh, okay.

the fka means formerly known as oh okay oh like aka i've never heard fka i i think it's like i

assume that that's what it means i i saw fka in some other context and i thought fka why does that ring a bell and i was like oh i bet fka twigs is like the artist formerly known as twig

interesting and that's a that's a well-known pop like i you always say like we always get in these arguments about who knows less about music and i you know way more about modern music than i do Famous. Yeah, no, I've never heard that before, that name. So point to you, but point to me, because I'm always arguing that you know more about music than I do. So I don't know. We all get points. But anyway.

Everyone's got points. I think they zero out.

Broadcast Barry sent this in. Just said, great track by Seattle's Juliet. And the name of this song is Nice Try. And I agree with Barry. This is a great song. It's got some real poppy sensibilities. And I think it fits a summer playlist well. Take a listen to this.

Thank you. It's all the fuss about Nice try You seem like a nice guy I've been doing so fine Through the flow All I like I don't want to swipe right Waste a little time just to figure it out Figure it out

pretty nice right so nice such i love that synthy summery sound um that is beautiful

who was that again tell me so it's juliet juliet spelled with an exclamation point for the i and again it says seattle artist and they have a uh a new album out um it's called the thing that you just planted in our yard but not rosemary that's not it i'm telling i'm giving a hint to genevieve

fuchsia no lavender didn't you plant lavender in our yard recently not recently but i have

planted lavender oh do we have lavender in the yard already okay so you mentioned lavender in

our yard i didn't know we already had some yeah we were when we moved in we had french lavender two pretty big um like plants of it and then i planted some english lavender i was very pleased to see it survive the winter oh nice um so yeah soon hopefully we'll have uh just a beautiful

herb garden so the name of the album is lavender is what that's all about i was close with the color yeah you know you absolutely were plant some fuchsia hopefully people are going to be looking up okay so the name of the album is the plant that you planted in our yard that isn't rosemary um so for the final song let's go out with your track these what do you got dialed up

here um i want to play teeth by mall rat um mall rat is a an australian artist a woman named grace shaw who performs as

all rat and i think her debut album came out last fall and somehow this song made it on to like one of my you know i have like a playlist that i listen to all the time and then when you do like the like like extended version or like expanded version it keeps like the playlist ends and then the algorithm takes over yeah so i got this because of the algorithm and i love it it's a little darker than what we've been listening to so maybe it's we're going out on a little bit of

a darker note but i love this song okay so this is teeth by mall rat and uh this is how we'll wrap up the week this week we'll be back on monday just getting some text messages from luke looks like things are okay in his world so he should be back with us this monday but in the meantime hope you all have a really great weekend i have some hedges i might be trimming back this this afternoon and maybe tomorrow too so if that happens you know i'm gonna have a lot of hedge talk on Monday's show, which a lot of people tune in for, I think. Genevieve, do you want to do the outro with me here? Do you remember how it goes?

Do you want me to do the first part or the second part?

What part would you feel most comfortable doing?

I'll do the second part. You'll do the second part.

Okay, everybody, have a really great weekend, and please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

My teeth.

In my prayer, I don't speak, but with my hands and on my knees When I ask, I receive, don't play fair, don't be sweet It's in the air that I breathe Understands it's up my sleeve In my head, it's in my sleep With my hands in my teeth Stop it. I love our life. I love you. Just promise me that if this rap thing doesn't work out in the next month, that you'll get a job. Girl, there's one thing that I can guarantee. I'll be making so much cream, you'll be thinking Carmen when you think of me. There's no band It's just me That means all the sounds I can do it too

The sounds are coming from my body From my body

Don't quit your day jobs

Power out