Muse

Today I was babysitting and one of the kids said, what's on your shirt? And I said, that's a f***ing big dog. The most powerful American figure from the mid-80s to the late 90s. The influence of which you'll never see matched in your lifetime, not a f***ing chance. Now watch out. Because it's time to party.

TBTL! i am brave roller coasters love them scary movies i've seen ghostbusters like seven times i regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified so yeah i'm pretty much not afraid of anything

i've only ever said i love you to two men my entire life stone cold steve austin

and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin. Make sure your bathroom really has got a toilet that's way too high and kind of big. Also, two plungers. Two plungers says it all.

No, you're going to tell a story. I don't believe that I can bear to listen to another one of your stories right now.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TVTL, The show that just might be too beautiful to live Louie, what is that? I'm like, I don't know, what is it? My name is Luke Burbank, I am your host As Jay would say, he's got flow Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon

I feel warm and I'm levitating

Where it is going to be a beautiful day Sorry if I sound a little out of breath I just sprinted to the other room and then back whilst that intro tape was playing because I realized I don't have Bubbles' little feather-on-a-stick thingy

that I need to have in here

so that I can flit it about so that she will get distracted and she will not stand on the printer-slash-fax machine because I currently cannot print anything out because she's been trying to send faxes and I don't know how to fix this whole thing. So we are working with a certain deficit here, but we're going to, I think, make it through episode three thousand nine hundred and eighty five. Let the fun begin in a collector series. The other thing that made it especially difficult to find her little toy, her little feather string toy is. I usually keep them kind of within arm's reach of the couch because often I'm lying on the couch watching Dateline NBC. or various sporting events, and I like to just fling that thing around. There's two of these wands, whatever you want to call them, stick things, and she had taken both of them and dragged them underneath my bed because that's her way of telling me we need to play with this stuff. So anyway, okay, that is all handled. I have the thing. The cat is fine. We are ready to talk about the plan for today's TBTL, which includes my trip last night to Darcell 15, which is a legendary bar and drag club here in Portland where I was helping out with what is hoping to be the world record for longest continuous drag show ever in the history of the world. What a fun, sexy time for you. And there was a lot going on last night that I want to tell you about. Also, while I was doing that, my good friend Andrew Walsh was at the home run derby of major league baseball all-star week so we're probably going to hear about that as well oh and speaking of my good friend andrew walsh the longest running co-bro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships he is also going to the real all-star game today i'm so excited about this show but he has agreed to be here for a limited engagement here on this tuesday and he's joining me right now good morning my friend

good morning luke i want to make it clear no it's probably clear well i'm gonna make it clear here at the top of the show that i am just going as an attendee to the all-star game i haven't been invited to play in the major league all-star game you were not a last minute addition because of mike trout's injury no actually actually this mike is mike trout injured really i thought that was how holio got oh i don't pay attention to baseball no you don't just you don't spend any time thinking

about rosters or injuries yeah trouts i had a weird trout actually you know what i'm gonna

stop i almost said something about my fantasy baseball team that occurred to me no even i i will not come out of the gate today talking about my fantasy baseball team well okay i'll

just say this i was gonna say that i uh have a it's a bit of a kind of a phantom limb situation with my fantasy baseball team i uh it's called a fantasy limb it's called a fantasy limb um because i went to adjust my lineup yesterday and of course there are no games like real games during the all star break and the funny thing is i was like it was a it was a combination of both relief and disappointment sort of I got schooled last week I got I got I got spanked as they say in some corners of the internet and so I was ready to kind of get back on the wagon but also it's a very busy week for me because I'm watching well real baseball too I guess to the degree that the all-star game is real baseball and the home run derby is real baseball but yeah I went to set up my lineup I was like oh I guess I don't have to do that and again it was kind of a relief but also like maybe when you quit a job you're like i don't have to go into work today but then you kind of miss your old job too although that's not the case for us i'm really all over the place today because i gotta say i've really been enjoying tbtl independence luke how was the

thing yesterday how was the home run the home run was watching it here before the dragathon and i was like i was hooked on a feeling when julio was hitting 41 home runs in one round it was like to

be in the building yeah our local our local young hero julio rodriguez if you don't follow these things did have a um an extraordinary night he was in the uh he was in the first round he was one of i guess let's see the matchup is it's uh eight players and so it's like one-on-one and then kind of a bracket system and so um he won the first bracket against pete alonzo who i believe bested him uh last year so it's sort of a little bit i think he actually eliminated alonzo last year too

oddly enough uh really yeah and they were the whole point was alonzo was trying to get revenge

and he didn't oh okay i misremembered that because i just remember like alonzo being like all like what i love about the home run derby is even not just people from other teams but like literally the people who are competing against each other or at least you know will be competing against each other in like later rounds still will like celebrate the success and and and and they'll like kind of do that thing where they fan they fan each other off with the towels when they're really hot and just to see like i don't know vladdy jr doing that totally they've all got like their children

with them yeah it's kind of scrawled out around the area where the person is trying to hit home runs like uh one guy's dad was the pitcher uh like uh rush uh adley rush whatever his name is from baltimore it is such a collegial and friendly vibe it is so fun i think it was when julio hit 41 home runs in one round pete alonzo just said wow and then just went over and like fist

bumped yeah oh i'm glad i didn't see that i'm glad that he um that he would took it really in stride because alonzo seems like the only guy who's a little bit overly serious and a little uptight about it but i will can i actually expand out on this a little bit so i went to some you know uh mlb break activities on sunday and hung out with my friend paulie and then yesterday he and i did kind of the same thing and then went to the went to the um home run derby and everything and generally speaking you know like i have a weird thing and this is maybe because i came to sports later in life or maybe because i was bullied as a kid or maybe just because i'm what they call in some corners of the internet an asshole um but i uh i have a weird competitive thing in my fandom where i do not tolerate the other fans very well usually especially depending on the team we've talked about it i get like kind of fan ragey against like red socks fans who are like specifically the ones who are kind of being obnoxious in our stadium when they come to town and and and kind of like start chants around us and sort of kind of like feel like sort of big dog the mariners fans like there have been times in my life but then like i've i've gotten mad at mets fans as well and i love the mets and i like mets fans but when they set up like the queen's court a few years ago and they were singing and dancing near us when they were when they were winning um and then we turned the tide and the mariners mariners beat them and i'd had maybe six beers i started like really yelling at them quite a bit like i have a pretty i can be a kind of a toxic homeboy or like a home crowd fan i guess um but honestly just kind of hanging around this big kind of like neighborhood wide celebration of baseball and just seeing like all of the different teams represented by the way, weirdly of all of the different hats and jerseys from across the league that I've been seeing the one that I've seen the least, if not at all is, is the Yankees. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of Mariners representation, but like, I've not seen one Yankees hat, which is very strange to me. Cause you'll just see those, you know, just in any given.

day um but it's just fun to see just on macklemore alone just on macklemore seattle's own macklemore one of the leading yankees fans in america having said all of that and this is something that jeff passan pointed out on the radio today that made me proud by the way jeff passan who i uh peed next to on sunday by the way and then and then um almost almost cut in line in front of him to to use the paper towels but then graciously said after you sir i didn't call him Do you know Jeff Passan is also

From Cleveland, Ohio?

No!

You had much to talk about You could talk about the Erie Screw Company Lake Erie Screw, yeah You could have discussed Was that a place where you and your dad went To get something that's like Not a tattoo parlor

Chain link addiction

You could have talked about chain link addiction There were so many things you and Jeff Passan Had to discuss that you didn't talk about

Yeah, I can't believe I didn't lead with Hey, are you into Lake Erie Screw? chain link addiction jeff anyway this is why i've been barred from most of the bathrooms at t-mobile park so anyway i love that it does tend to be like a good natured everybody is there loving baseball representing their teams obviously overwhelmingly mariners but also just like a lot of camaraderie that i'm i even as toxic as i can be i'm really into with the exception of and God bless Seattle. And this is what Jeff was saying on the radio today. He's like, I've never been to another city where the level of hatred against the Astros remains as high as it does here in Seattle. Luke. Peace and love to Eddie and others in Houston. And I left the MLB draft on Sunday before they introduced, you know, the Astros, whoever their pick was. they don't boo the picks but I think the crowd went you know crazy booing just the the mention of the Astros and then yesterday as I'm entering the ballpark maybe I don't know 20 minutes before the derby begins they're doing some sort of celebration of mascots out on the field I can't see anything I just got there I'm I'm just listening to it I'm not paying a lot of attention I hear them shout out something about the twins mascot or something I don't know and then all of sudden you just hear them talk about somebody mentioned the astros mascot and the crowd the entire stadium just rocked with booze at a mascot at a mascot they were mad at orbit i have never been so proud of my life i was like never forget never forget that is so one they're such a dirty

team i love it do you think that mlb.com is being accurate when they describe the houston astros mascot thusly orbit the official mascot of the houston astros since rejoining the team in 2012 as the official mascot of the houston astros orbit has quickly become one of the most popular mascots in baseball and all of sports and that's why andrew you or i if someone put a gun to our head couldn't tell you who the houston astros mascot is without the internet one of the most popular mascots in all of sports that literally no one knows the name of unless you live in houston

Although, and I'm looking it up now, and here's the truth of the matter. While I do not like the Astros as a team, I really like their look. And now I'm just seeing Orbit. I wouldn't have been able to tell you that's its name. But I kind of like the look of Orbit here. I like the fact that it still plays into this idea of the space race or something. And also just like, and you just cannot argue with the Astros look, right? I mean, the colors, the jerseys, the hats, they're way up there in baseball for me. So I got to give him credit for that.

But I mean, the question has been raised. What was the off-field incident that had Orbit not the Astros mascot for some amount of time and then rejoining the team in 2012? Was he taking time to listen? He was. Was Orbit taking time to reflect and spend time with its family and also to listen and learn before coming back better and more inclusive?

like what the hell was going on with orbit no it's true there was some there was some time spent

there was an incident family certainly and if you look at the uh the wikipedia page or at least this the google search for the houston astros mascot for orbit it says related mascots junction

jack what was that all about whoa i would i gotta be honest with you i'd expect junction jack to get

in trouble that sounds much more problematic yeah absolutely junction jack was andrew you know i love this a buff rabbit like i bet jack was a jackalope or a jackrabbit or a jack probably a jack boy that dave coulier jackalope thing really did a number on my brain to where my first thought when it's very obviously going to be a jackrabbit is it's probably a jackalope

How has that moved to the top of my list of things that are named Jack and look like a rabbit?

I was getting an eyeful of some of these mascots at the draft on Sunday. I did not realize that, first of all, there is a Mrs. Mr. Met, as I texted you guys. Did you know about that?

I didn't. I thought you were making a joke. I didn't realize there was actually a Mrs. Mr. Met.

Oh, you must not have gotten the photo that went along with it. Yeah, there's a Mr. Met and a Mrs. Met, but I thought it was funny to say. Is there a Mrs. Mr. Met? Is there a Mrs. Mr. Met? There's also Rosie Red, who is a real fireplug of a mascot for the Cincinnati Reds. Apparently, Mr. Red Legs. I don't know if they're romantically involved or not, but they do have another mascot. Cincinnati, three mascots. Also, Gapper, a dog. And I believe they added Gapper, and then they brought Rosie Red. I'm reading, of course, off of sportsmascots.fandom.com slash wiki. And it says she was introduced in August 2008. This is Rosie Red introduced August 2008 as the new companion of Gapper and Mr. Redlegs. And I would just say to the people writing this wiki, let's let's choose our words carefully, making it sound like she is the companion of a man and a dog. I don't know. A companion. It struck me as a before I realized that Gapper was a dog. I couldn't tell what was going on. It does sound like it could be a thruple that you'd meet at some kind of con.

Hey, I'm Gapper, and I'm Redleg, and this is our third, Rosie.

And, you know, and again, I don't want to pass any judgment along. Kink shame. Exactly. But it was interesting. But, yeah, no, she seems to be a fireplug. Anyway, yeah, so it's been a lot of fun. Yeah. As I just realized, oh, shit, am I catching feelings for Rosie Red? I am definitely not attracted to Rosie Red.

We're a league of their own vibes.

Yes, exactly. Yes, exactly. And was out there.

A real Rockford Peach kind of situation going on with old Rosie Red.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember who else I saw. I did not see old Fnatic. I have not seen the Philly Fnatic yet, unfortunately.

Huh. That's interesting because unlike Orbit, I do think the Philly Fnatic is a pretty famous mascot. You'd think. Oh, yeah. Am I right to assume that they brought every, like MLB has every mascot there?

in seattle i would assume yeah but i mean i haven't seen every single one if third leg and

hang dog made it i'm kind of going from memory on those on the cincinnati mask somebody else

is gonna have to take some time to think and listen um i uh i uh burbank was reintroduced to tbtl in 2024 at best um no i have not i have not seen like all of them i just saw some of them milling about during the draft so that is not to say that the philly fanatic is not representing I just have not put eyes on it myself and what I would be interested in we've probably had this conversation before I feel like I feel like the two most iconic baseball mascots have got to be the Philly Fanatic and the Mariner Moose just joking Philly Fanatic and Mr. Matt right like classic and also totally different ends of the spectrum of weirdness one is just like straight up i have a baseball for a head and i'm generally dapper and the other one is just a freak right so which one and the other one is the philly fanatic and the other one yeah and the other one is mr met um what uh like which of those what do you think is the better mascot or do is it unfair

to make well i'm on the i'm on the record about this which is i like mascots that are just straight up weirdos yeah so that's why i love gritty and that's why i love uh the philly fanatic again obviously both philadelphia mascots they're killing it um i'm not a fan of buff mascots uh and i i guess i do i do like how just sort of like in a way unabashedly basic ass mr med is like what if he had a baseball for a head what if we put mr in front of the name of the team like it's just i love it it's it's from another era it's from the time when people were having milk delivered to their front doors yeah right so i kind of dig it for that reason yeah me too

It's really tough for me. I think as much as I love the fanatic, I think, I mean, which one would you have a beer with, right? I mean, that's always the question, right? George Bush. For candidates for office.

Of mascots that are important to this country, I have to say George Bush.

I think, I mean, I don't know if you'd have a beer with Mr. Met. You might have a, you might have a, you might go out for coffee with Mr. Met or have a business meeting with him.

The problem is we have friends, Andrew, and sometimes I might be one of them, who start out as Mr. Met, and then by the end of the night, they're the Philly fanatic.

That is a really good point. Oh, my God. What if they're actually the same? You never see them in the same room together. No, you have not. So all of that is to say. The Home Room Derby is going really well for me. And the all-star break, I should say. Today, I'm going to get out of here as quickly as possible today. So what I'm saying here is we've got to wrap here in a minute or two now that we got the good stuff out of the way. Because, I mean, I don't want to brag, but I have a friend. We have a mutual friend, Luke. Wait, is there any reason why I'm not saying Katie's name? It's Katie. She works for... It's Mr. and Mrs. Kixie. It's Mr. and Mrs. Kixey. She works for a radio station cluster here in Seattle, and I have been invited, Luke, through our friend Katie, to some sort of a Miller Lite Root Sports pregame party at a place that sounds like a place I would usually not be allowed into called, like, Muse. Is that a club of some sort? Are you familiar with an establishment called Muse in the Soto area?

I am not, but I am also not the age of people who should be in the club.

Like, yeah, I don't know what Muse is like, but it's not like it doesn't sound like a place where I'm going to usually just like go in there and get a sausage sandwich and watch a game. Right. Muse sounds like a place where you should probably be dressed in something tight, something tight, something black. You're wearing cologne type of deal. Right. So anyway, I'm going to be heading out to Muse to see if I can see how the other half live before the ballgame.

And what's the, I mean, obviously it just probably sounds fun to you, but are you going to get to touch the hem of Angie Mentink's power suit?

Like, what's the appeal of going to Muse? It's my understanding that Rosie Red will be there. I'm just going to play it cool. She's not signing anything. I heard that she's just going to be kind of like maybe there. And I just kind of want to see what happens But no, I don't know, Luke I mean, the thing is, it's kind of like There's all these activities going on And I've already done a bunch of them And then yesterday, me and my friend Pauly Met at this bar Do you know there's a little A little like It's called like the You might not even like it, I don't know It's like McCoy's Firehouse Pub or something It's right there in Pioneer Square And every time I pass it, I think FX McCrory's? No, it's McCoy's Firehouse Pub I don't think I know what that is but it's not far from that place we like to go to Meijer or the Meijer and when the Meijer after a game is way too filled up sometimes I think oh we could go to that other place but I'll bet you that place is even more packed I found it very easy pre and post games several times now to go to this place McCoy's and do a little pre-funking or post funking and that's what we did yesterday actually lubed up with some jello shots really choice of words their choice of words they're not um yeah i what i meant to say was lubed up with some jello cubes um that my friend paulie decided was a good idea before the game um so we did that but yeah no it was it was a fun experience but i figured today if we're invited to some sort of a yeah you got it rsvp take advantage of that yeah what do you call it the velvet rope event i mean why would i not be there yeah absolutely i was at a pretty velvet ropey event last night andrew yeah this

is more interesting than my drag fest how did that go and uh it went fine but i gotta tell you it was actually more nerve-wracking than i expected when i showed up like you know i was asked to do this a long time ago i figured it you know just kind of a local portland deal like how much pressures are going to be i get into the club last night first of all they have to pat me down and wand me i guess because it's a drag show and you just never know what kind of psychos might show up uh you know wanting to make a statement about yeah you know i kind of chuckled

there because i didn't i didn't know where you're going with that but yeah that's right god that's

the world we live in right right i was proud of my opening line uh when i got on stage of course this is a packed room there's all sorts of drag folks there and queer folks and all kinds of things and i said welcome to exactly what ron de santis is afraid of yeah right um but yeah the fact that they had like the security was fairly tight not because of any of the people that were there to enjoy it but because of the kind of people that might want to mess with it was like but i walk in and it is electric in there that is there is not one square inch of room in this club that is not taken up by a person either sitting or standing or working there or getting ready to maybe go on stage. On stage, when I walk in, is Fred Armisen and Cameron Esposito, which those were the two MCs before I went up. So it was a low-pressure situation for me. Yeah, right, sure. I'm only following... two of the biggest names on the bill and two of the most competent and funny people that you could have doing something like this um and so i got there and i was like oh shit like i need to like i did not have a plan in mind i thought i was going to show up they were going to give me a script maybe that had the name of the next performer and i was just going to kind of run out and say like coming up next it's poison waters or whatever uh and that was not the case And I found myself in the back of the room, Andrew, living in what is an actual recurring stress stream of mine, which is... Can I guess? Can I say? Yes. You can't find a pencil or a pen. Well, yes. Broadly speaking, yes. Or, no, specifically speaking, yes, I can't find a pencil or a pen. Broadly speaking, I'm at some kind of performative thing, and I have no plan. And the clock is counting down until it's my time to go do something. and i'm scrambling trying to think of what i'm going to say and that's usually just a dream that i have it was happening last night i was furiously trying to type little notes into my phone of i don't know riffs of things i could say of whatever because like i really realized when i got there like oh no i need to i need to have more of a plan than i have right now because this is a pretty big deal in this room anyway um and then also i was paired up with a couple of other folks uh from the portland area uh one who is a podcaster named claudia and one who is um an actor i think and director named katie o'grady and they both were like well here's my bit first i'm going to do this claudia was like first i'm going to arm wrestle someone because i i'm good at arm wrestling and katie was like i was on youtube looking at things uh the the five things to do if you want to get into drag and then i was thinking of this and i thought i was going to make that ron desantis joke that was what i had that was we were supposed to go five times for up to four minutes so 20 minutes of content and i thought i'll make a ron desantis joke that'll

win him over that was the extent of my preparation so how did it turn out uh weird ron desantis was there and it did not go well no the other thing was i thought i should try to look a little bit snazzy for this because there's going to be a lot of people that are very elaborately costumed and so I don't want to just show up in kind of a collared shirt and jeans or something I want to have some flair but I don't have much clothing that has flair. I'm a real basic B with my outfits. I've got these blue kind of Oxford shirts that I wear, jeans, and then all of the suits I have are pretty much black or maybe gray. I have one suit that is white and i thought well at least that would be kind of a slightly atypical and it wasn't until i got there and realized that a large percentage of the performers were queer and also black that me white guy in a white suit might be vibing differently in fact one of the performers named coco gem holiday said with no malice wow that was brave for you to wear that white suit to this largely black event you know strong plantation i was gonna say is that what we're

going for wow yeah so well that wasn't what i was going for no no i mean not going for but is i i wasn't sure if that's what you were implying there or what that performer was implying but yeah i see wow yeah old south huh yeah like white outfit that's a pretty good joke i'm glad that they made that joke though right i mean no no backstage oh that was backstage

That was an honest comment between two people, and that's what hurt so much. That was not a funny burn on stage, which would have been fine. It was, again, not said with any sort of wanting to make me feel bad, just an honest comment like, whoa, okay, wow, that's what you went with.

But said in a chummy kind of teasy way? Not really.

Really? But again, I can't overstate this. This person, we were having a great conversation. it wasn't like there was some kind of weird vibe between us and this person was trying to tell me this in a way that was going to get in my head. But it also wasn't said completely in jest. It was kind of an honest observation that, I don't know if you're going to be surprised, Andrew, kind of lived in my head for the rest of the night. How could I tell?

Yeah, that's interesting. And it would have almost been better if that was just sort of said on stage, right? And it would just be a fun, like, laugh line.

Yeah, and there was sort of not related to the suit, but just related to me being there. Some jokes were made on stage that were really funny. I thought, like, at some point, we were introducing ourselves because they kept turning the audience over, you know, because people would buy tickets for, like, a certain amount of time. Sure. And so we kind of reintroduced ourselves when there was a new audience there and the other two emcees.

uh kind of said their names and and where they were from and i said my name's luke burbank i go i was just wandering around old town um uh which was kind of funny because you probably wouldn't be doing that generally these days in portland for no reason and uh and i said uh and they grabbed me and said finally uh we need to hear a straight white man's perspective on things and uh and so everybody you know chuckled at that and then later claudia said was saying something she goes and we have this absolutely great white man on stage with us which was hilarious and got a huge laugh including from me like that was great that was all on stage stuff the uh-huh oh you

went with that outfit was off stage that's funny yeah i know that would that would live in my head

too i was like is it gonna be more weird if i go out nude yeah right yes but i'll also tell you that question is yes uh it's uh i was there in hour seven of the whole thing right and all i can say is it seemed like the crowd was having a splendid time the this event is raising all kinds of money for this really great cause called the trevor project and also it is going to be such a shit show the wheels were coming off in hour seven andrew everybody was awake it was like nine o'clock at night no one had been there that long and from a technical standpoint things were there was this one performance these two drag performers were up there doing kind of like an interesting thing where they were sort of performing like a scene from a movie so it wasn't that they were dancing to music they were sort of like lip-syncing to dialogue and it kept starting over and i just thought boy this is avant-garde and then at some point one of the performers literally pulled the curtain back and stuck their head back to the side stage where i was and said cut the track it's repeated five times they the cd was skipping and they were just doing the scene over and over again literally a cd skipping i mean the track i don't know presumably it was digital although i don't know how that works exactly why it was skipping something about the file the cd the blu-ray whatever we were working with it kept starting over and i thought it was the bit and they were going with it until really amazing the fourth time that it started over and they just said like said cut it and uh one of the uh organizers of this event just like grabbed a mic walked on stage and just started saying to the av folks cut it just cut it just cut it and then then somebody yelled at me get out there and save them which i tried to do now i don't know

if this is a taking you to boring town but you had set us up yesterday saying that there are all these rules to um to you know officially qualify and then break the guinness world record for longest drag show um a big part of this was timing and they said we want you to like kind of take up as much time as you can within the allotted time but it can't be more than i want to say four and a half minutes that you could be out there in between acts is that right four four thirty was

that what it was i think it was four thirty and they were going to like cut the mic at four fifteen or something because because because yeah a some percentage of each hour needed to be drag performing not mc performing for it to qualify as a drag show yeah so how did that all go because

you said there was a lot of concern from the organizers i think as maybe as well as you that like if things get off a little bit early oh you gave that great example of like tiling a bathroom or a kitchen or something where if you if the tiles get off early on you're really in for for a disaster later on how are the tiles how are the time tiles funky yeah funky little tiles

yeah by the time i got there the floor had already been mistiled gravely oh no things were getting so first it was like do not do not go over three minutes and also watch the clock there's a countdown clock so we go out our first little thing and we get out at zero exactly zero we count the crowd down five four three two one okay thanks here's your next performer we get backstage and they go why did you go four minutes we said we're following the clock they said no no the Clock is always four minutes. We told you to be three minutes.

Jeez.

I was like, oh, so leave a minute on. Okay, yeah. So then next time we go out, they're like, you have five minutes. Fill. So if that tells you anything, it was a moving target.

Interesting. And so, but you could go up to five. So that's interesting as well.

In certain circumstances. Like it was, that's what I'm saying. And this is not me dissuading anyone from going because I think it's going to be, i think it was wonderful for the audience last night i think it's going to continue to be wonderful and surreal it's surreal for me to think andrew that literally as i'm talking to you this thing is still going on yeah that's and it's got another day in it no that's awesome in fact

like is i mean maybe this is just the tbtl in me but like i mean a little bit of like kind of things going off the rail Thank you.

is part of the fun and excitement of something like this too right like i mean i think for the

crowd i think and i think the let's just say that was not a worldview that i saw being embraced backstage okay sure like what a fun what a fun sexy time for all of us if this is going off the rails but i'm with right right for the the whole point of this is like tomorrow morning at 5 a.m if you go to this show you're gonna see some shit like right one way or the other because everyone is going to just be have reached completely loopy levels of sleep exhaustion and tiredness and everything else so again i think it's going to be really fun and i think that actually it'll be more fun when it gets even weirder but i managed to parachute in last night at the time where the aspiration was for this to be running like um i don't know star search or something like there were a lot of people with headsets there were a lot of like elaborate run of show plans all of which were just lighting on fire backstage yeah and and then we the uh the the mcs were just like it was like okay 30 seconds and then at some point it was like two of the performers one of the performers didn't like having the three of us on stage like because there was three emcees and one

dj oh you know so you guys the the three emcees were not alternating the three emcees were coming

out together as a trio we were coming out as a trio and by the way the fact that there was three of us that was um i think established on like sunday or something like okay there was you know at first it was like hey luke could you emcee this i was like sure and then it was like you're gonna be working with this person i was like cool and then it was like here's this email i see there's like three names on the email okay and it's like and it's like uh oh there's this other person too and then it was kind of like oh another thing too this is now i'm i can't believe i've gone this far without saying something that i'll regret but you know it's now or never so fred armison is still backstage and when i say backstage by the way i mean the tiniest most dangerous raised platform Adjacent to a stage that I've ever been Osha has never been backstage At this club, even one time Unless there's a drag performer named Osha

I was going to say, was Osha performing?

So The area where all of the drag queens Were getting ready with mirrors And lights and outfits and stuff Is sort of in the basement of this place First of all, strong Goodfellas Vibes getting backstage Because what you do is you go down these stairs You go through the kitchen then you go through this basement where a bunch of folks are sitting and getting themselves together then you start to climb the most rickety like eight wooden stairs that are pretty much going straight up like the um you know the angle of these stairs is is not safe for anyone let alone uh drag performers in heels andrew you climb up this thing and then you're standing in probably like a eight square foot area that's next to the stage that three square feet of the eight square feet are a hole in the ground that's going back down the stairs it's like a it's like you know like in a fire station how you slide down that that that pole yes imagine instead of that pole it's just stairs like a hole in the floor that anyone at any time could fall through that has zero protection around it that is bananas it is uh also by the way a performer last night bananas uh and uh she was great so i get back in that little tiny room and uh fred armison is still there and i've like met fred before he's been on live wire i didn't expect him to remember me or anything and he probably didn't so i was just kind of leaving him alone because people were excited to talk to him he's a big star so i'm kind of just standing uh where i'm sort of waiting to go out and then one of the organizers comes up and grabs me and fred and says okay you two uh go out there and do the next thing together and what i'm realizing is um there are two p two other people that i'm supposed to be doing this with who are now just being cut out of the deal because fred armison is more famous than them and me and i guess as far as the rankings go i'm the second most famous person and i'm like i was like i didn't want to literally i hadn't even been on stage i didn't want to seem like i was being a problem but i was also like i don't want to just like x these other folks out of this thing because like I'm happy if I don't go on stage whatever but like I just I felt like it was one of those things where like hey do you want to team up with Fred Armisen's like of course I do do I want to be a complete jerk and just like ruin the night for a couple other people who worked hard to be ready for this no absolutely not so I was like kind of like well I think there's some other folks who are planning we're supposed to be a trio me and these other folks. And Fred Armisen, incredibly gracious person that he is, kind of said to the organizer, you know, I think there are plenty of MCs and I'll be back tomorrow. So I just love to just watch from here. I just love to watch. And you don't get the impression that that was Fred Armisen kind of taking an opportunity to be like, I've done I've already done a lot. I could use it. I could use a break here. That's Fred Armisen being gracious to the other people.

I think it was more that probably 70 percent that and 30 percent being like, OK, I'm I'm I'm tired of being on stage. But then he proceeded to hang around in this tiny, dangerous side area for like another hour. So it wasn't like he was bouncing. I think he just kind of was reading the room and realized quite adroitly that for him to just keep going back out on stage when there were these other people for whom it was like a really big deal to get to emcee this would have been kind of thoughtless. And he's not a thoughtless person. He's a very thoughtful person. As I watched him just like interact with everyone backstage and be really nice to everyone and take a lot of pictures and just be sort of very gracious when he could have just gone back down

the fire pole and left which is what i would have done if i was fred armison right right right right so uh you did not get your moment on stage with fred armison not that you're saying like that you were vying for it but that because i had a lot of questions about how that went i did not uh that

did not happen that uh that did not happen but net neutral yeah and uh fred fred neutral in that fred armison is very neutral and very nice person and continued to seem very nice backstage the other the biggest reaction that we got at some point i kind of couldn't even exactly hear it but the gist of it was one of us on stage me and the other mcs said something alluding to the fact that they're everyone's here to see drag performers and not us or something there was something where one of us made a joke about how and it was very true like no one's here to see us and then somebody yelled something from the audience which i think was probably to the effect of yeah we know and then the place just fell apart like there was like the biggest laugh line of the night was i think

the audience slightly turning on us somebody a heckler gets the biggest laugh yeah a hundred

percent like and you know deservedly so because what i was trying to explain to the audience was we don't want to be up here either we want you to continue seeing drag we have to be up here because of this guinness world record stuff because the performers needed time to change their outfits and also by the way people from guinness were there that's what i was it like waiting for guffman essentially yes except in waiting for guffman guffman never comes roy loomis comes down from deming who they think is guffman yes and they're very excited and then he takes a balloon he says i'll get this for my granddaughter she'll love this um guffman was there it was a banquette it said witnesses on it and it was like a number of people that are there from the guinness world record by the way if you're like living in uh you know uh cheery old england and they're like hey do you want to fly to portland and go to a dragathon i'd be like yes i will take that gig that sounds fun like it's probably better than watching a guy balance a egg on his nose in kazakhstan which is the other gig that was up this week for guinness world record observation there was an actual table with actual people from the guinness world book there observing it

so it was like serious business it's interesting like you said i'm thinking wow that's this is still going on we're talking about it in the past tense because you were there yesterday but it's going on right now and i am interested in knowing like what was it like it like and this is a stupid thing for me to bring up because your answer will be i don't know i was sleeping but what was it like at like 5 a.m this morning or even maybe even more like 5 a.m you might have the late nighters still maybe hanging on but i'm talking like for the audience you know what i mean like who was who was showing up to watch it at 8 a.m you know these totally odd hours on a tuesday

morning and it's all sold out so like every seat someone bought a ticket for every single seat so i don't think there's going to be i mean i guess i can you know text some folks who i knew who were there like i actually knew a couple of people there from just other portland stuff uh who were going to be performing later i could ask them but my sense was there are going to be butts in seats wow the entire time and again i feel like there would be a sort of a giddy goofiness to whatever happened at 5 a.m this morning whatever will happen tomorrow morning at 5 a.m like that would probably be in a way more fun than the hours that i was there even though i was there at a more quote-unquote primo time which was early in the event big names like fred armison and luke burbank performing um everyone is you know relatively fresh like that was allegedly the prime time but i think that the really interesting time is yet to come or it happened this morning and it will happen again tomorrow morning and remind me when the plan is to wrap this thing up i think it ends wednesday at three i think it started monday at three and ends when And I was texting with Becca about this I was like, we should go by there at some point Yeah, we should Yeah

There are no tickets available, but I was like, we should go tomorrow morning or something. I kind of want to see what this thing gets down to eventually. What kind of fumes is it coming in on, or will it be a whole new group of people who just have a ton of energy? What's the vibe going to be? I'm very curious. And will Rosie the Red be there?

Now I'm listening.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female.

oh man it's not from a female oh hey speaking of v-mails andrew uh you know yesterday you played that voicemail from a listener whose uh spouse was at this meeting where my absolutely terrible nomination form for an award i was nominating someone for an award where it was discussed the person who asked me to nominate became aware that i was talking about on tbtl and then sent it to all of the people that they work with the episode from yesterday so we the good news is we have three or four new listeners the bad news is my mortification continues okay wait hold on

let me get this straight so that person sent it to other people who were probably in the room

the actual judges i don't even think they were in the room i think they just all work at the same

okay that's different okay that's that's better than the judges it's a little better yes yes okay that's i mean i'll take the new listeners i don't i don't care but also it's i'm kind of chuffed

about this the the listener who left the voicemail is married to someone who was there yeah and this this person who i kind of was connected to this whole thing through had no idea who any of these folks were in other words that was a completely natural occurrence it wasn't like my friend tipped someone off who told their spouse about like yeah basically we just have so many listeners right now andrew that when i tell an embarrassing story somebody has heard about it from their

spouse this is a question okay this is a question i guess that has sort of been lingering in the back of my head does the person who did not win the award partially based on your scattershot application or or submission um scattershot's the wrong word there was a scatterbrain scatterbrain whatever um does that person know they were nominated and lost i don't think so there's no way right because it's just like no there was not a list of people who were nominated and then somebody won it's just that one day somebody woke up to an email saying hey congratulations this organization has honored you correct that's my understanding that's good that's good that's good oh one more question before i actually have a voicemail here that's good was it me it was not was i the one being nominated by you for my contribution to the portland greater

community it was not you i can confirm this detail it was not you god that's exactly what

you would say though right you'll never know it was me okay hey um i might need help re uh kind of filling in the details of the story that we talked about several weeks ago now but i've been sitting on this email uh that i want to share from listener max who is actually uh in brazil um sao paulo how do you say sao paulo so yeah that's how i'd say it sao paulo i feel like i'm saying it sao paulo okay i feel like i'm ohioing that up somehow anyway um with my ohio accent um but uh you were talking about a story that i believe you read in the new york times about how in brazil one of the most popular steakhouses is actually the outback steakhouse right? Yes. People propose

there, people celebrate their birthdays It sounds like it's taken on a life of its own there, that it's actually much more kind of fancy and action packed and varied than a typical Outback Steakhouse here in the US of A

Now this is a pretty lengthy email that I read several weeks ago, so I'm going to be reading this almost cold again, but if I recall this is very interesting from Max who says, I'm originally from San Francisco but I've lived in Sao Paulo and that's how you pronounce it, Andrew for 10 years, during which I've received more invitations to birthday parties at Outback than there are TBTL episodes. I already despise eating in shopping malls and dining at a chain that reminds me of the fictional shenanigans restaurant from the movie Waiting. It's even worse. Do you know this? That reference? Yeah, I'm lost here.

I believe a young Ryan Reynolds is in that movie, maybe even a Dane Cook, and it's kind of set at a, it's actually, I think, not a terrible premise for a movie, which is just basically, it's sort of a TGI Friday's type of deal or an Applebee's type of deal, and the whole movie is set there, and the people.

that work there i see and i and this the sentence is somewhat um is somewhat uh windy but i think what max is saying is here is he doesn't like eating at these malls anyway and then this chain is like is bad or worse than the shenanigans from the movie waiting um i saw a post by a brazilian exchange student in the u.s who took her american host mother to outback thinking it was the highest honor when the olive garden re-entered sao paulo the first one was in the airport people who were not taking flights drove all the way to the airport just for the olive garden wow so it's not just outback i guess there's just sort of a fascination but back to the down underworld of outback i only accepted one of those many invitations and never again now i just say i'll meet for drink now i just say i'll meet for drinks after dinner but from what my friends say the obsession with outback has nothing to do with the steaks it's all about the blooming onion other appetizers desserts and of course the sparkle and i don't think the menu is very different than it is here in the states although the outback is a relatively expensive restaurant in brazil so they probably have more resources to maintain the facility's service but it's certainly not exceedingly better than mcdonald's in japan to answer your question about adapting cuisine to local tastes when it comes to large change like uh fugo de chão am i saying that

that's like a brazilian steakhouse here in the u.s one of those meat oh one of the places where you

flip the card over are you feeling red are you feeling green there's no difference between the u.s or brazil i used to work for the brazilian government and we always had functions at brazilian steakhouses in the u.s and no one really saw much difference there's just a broader range of brazilian steakhouses in brazil other types of brazilian food however are certainly much better in brazil So it goes on from there. But, yeah, I wish I could get the Brazilian tourism board to sponsor a trip like the one you took to Australia. But I think it's unlikely. So it sounds like we are not going to be able to go to Brazil anytime soon, Luke.

I don't know. I've got some ins with Bolsonaro.

Oh, you'll be invited back to TBTL in 2026. My dictatorial leanings. Yes. I'm just saying he makes an interesting point. Do you know anybody in Turkey? I do.

One guy.

Anyway. Does the name Regitype mean anything to you? I feel like I was stumbling all over that email. But thank you for the perspective, Max. So it really is a thing. And I do like hearing that these things really do like the things that we read in the New York Times international pages actually do have some truth to them.

yeah and i think it's also interesting that the fogo de chow's and things like that in the u.s are not something that we made up as a kind of quote-unquote brazilian thing but that if you were in brazil you could go to one of those places where the guys would be carrying around meat swords yeah like that's a real thing yeah um because i could have seen a world in which we've just kind of fetishized what we think of as brazil and they've fetishized what they think of as Australia by way of America, i.e. Alpac Steakhouse, and also Italy by way of America, i.e. the Olive Garden.

Although, I was just going to say, I do think that, I guess it wasn't in Max's email, I think I saw this, maybe we might have gotten another email from a listener who maybe visited Brazil or lived there for a while, who also said, like, not every steakhouse is like that. Like, you can still have your more typical sit-down order from a menu steakhouse, but they also do have the, what we call and consider the brazilian style steakhouse i will tell you i was in

maybe texas i forget where i was but i was somewhere where i was staying one of those hotel those hotels that's like in a kind of little area that's kind of got like it'll have like a ruby tuesdays and an olive garden and a planet fitness or whatever like uh it's sort of a little bit suburban and maybe not for me the most culturally interesting place you could be but the closest restaurant was in olive garden and i do believe i went there two nights in a row and i am i am here to tell you it was not bad well like olive garden i mean isn't that's our road

trip place right that's where you and i have two different road trips or wait no i think we went to um either applebee's applebee's applebee's yes i'm getting those confused yeah because Because the Olive Garden is more Italiano, of course.

It's Hospitaliano, Andrew.

It's Hospitaliano, sorry.

When you're here, you're family. Yes, of course. That's a spicy meatball. Right, right, right. Now, that place I haven't been to in forever. The Olive Garden, what they've done that's so brilliant is they've cornered the market on comically large olives in their salad. Oh. And I am here for it. Like, they have olives like the size of your fist. I don't know where they're getting them from. I don't know what Monsanto weird growth hormone is making this happen, but I love an olive. I would eat an olive the size of an apple if I could because I love olives, and that's what they have.

in that like endless salad that you can get they have uh endless breadsticks and endless salad actually endless soup and salad at the olive garden nice actually i like i how much soup

how much soup do you think i could eat don't nobody knows how my body processes soup should we talk about for a moment and i or maybe just wait for him to come on the show again at some point talk about it but our our boy john and the way he drinks beer the way he was drinking beer Oh, sure. The Irish lava lamp. That's right. I knew it was the something lava lamp. I sort of missed the he explained to you the origins of it. But but our friend was just dropping olives like every can of beer he drank. He poured into a pint glass and then dropped some olives in there. Not olive juice, just like two or three olives.

It looked delicious to me, but I felt like next TBTL-a-thon, I'll have a sip because I'll know John that much better. It felt early for me to be drinking his beverage.

But you also didn't want to, like, he wouldn't fix one up for you. I was on a real sort of tequila situation that week. As one is on a heavy work week. Absolutely. It's very clean alcohol. No, it's not exactly like I was living a clean life last week. I'm not trying to throw stones.

But no, I actually, it was that I really wanted to have a sip because it was very intriguing what he was doing. but i also didn't want to i don't know make it weird or like hey can i have a sip of your beer like again we know each other but maybe we don't know like i would drink your i secretly drink your beer most of the time i know when you're not looking it's kind of i see it i see it i know and it's weird there a hole in the bottom of this cup i saw a great speaking of the olive garden uh and places like that i saw a great bit on tiktok the other day which was i'm gonna do a terrible job describing it but basically it was servers coming over to a table where you could tell that, like, basically it was a really slow night at wherever this restaurant was, right? And so the servers decided to make a TikTok. And what the base of a TikTok was, the jokes that servers are very, very overhearing, they're done hearing these jokes. But they didn't say that on the page.

I'm responsible for so many of them. I think I've gotten better, but I'm already cringing. No, are you kidding me? Do you have any idea in my 20s, in my 20s, how many times I said to a server who was picking up an empty plate and saying i didn't like it oh god it was what was great about it was they didn't actually like

there wasn't any writing on the screen that says like jokes we're tired of it was just a server would come over to a table where another server who's playing the customer would go like have like an empty you know mug of beer and go i think there's a hole in the bottom of this and then the server would just laugh maniacally like ray leota in like i think it's good fellas whatever that meme is that camaro kev sends around a lot of like crazy ass ray liotta laughing it that was all and then and then they'd like come over to a different table and the plate would be scraped clean and the person would say something i didn't like this at all and then the server would just explode with

laughter yes that's the one that i cringe because i know i made that joke a million times but um i

thought it was very funny again i liked i liked how kind of slightly surreal it was like they didn't over explain it and they did like it was it was the sheer mania in their eyes as they were laughing at a joke they'd heard a million times that i i thought was pretty good comedy the other

one that i you know would never make anymore because there was another like kind of meme fied thing maybe even before tick tock um about jokes that uh cashiers hear in like uh you know whether it's a grocery store or a department store or what have you and like one of them is like oh no price tag i guess it's free right i think one of the other ones they did in this

restaurant i'm just remembering was um can i get you anything and the person uh can i get you anything else and the person doesn't like huh i wouldn't mind a million dollars oh god damn that's

rough i used that last night at ourselves i regret that we regret the error yeah we we all just need

to be cooler just a little bit cooler um maybe on tomorrow's show andrew i can talk about the increasing i wouldn't say tension but the increasing back and forth between me and my neighbor about this tansy situation remember last year oh your neighbor your neighbor at the other house okay yeah yeah remember last year when we had a voicemail i don't think we played it on the air but you just sent it to me you go i think your neighbor called the tptl voicemail line

Because you were spending even less, you had just bought the property, you were spending even less time there, your construction projects had not begun yet, and I was checking the voicemail line one morning, and I think I thought it might have been a prank at first, but it was no, it was just like your neighbor up there in this more, you know, relatively more rural part of the state compared to where you and I live now, just saying, I'm trying to reach Luke Burbank because we have a weed situation. We have a noxious, we have an invasive regwort. yeah tansy and uh and and he's you know and he i didn't know him particularly well at the time and it seemed a little stern to me but then we became friends and he's a really great guy actually so we have a very good rapport but i can feel the rapport straining slightly because i texted him like last week and i was like hey i've got my brush hogging guy jerry coming out soon to take care of this he's out of town um but i just want you to know i'm on it i didn't want to get to where it was last year and then today i got a text right when we were starting the show hey uh when is your brush hogging guy coming around because this tansy is upwind from us

when is your brush hog guy coming well i gotta call him right now that's where we gotta wrap

the show i gotta call jerry i don't think jerry's a real text message kind of guy last year or uh when i called him last week uh i i thought you know he probably like normally what happens now these days is if you deal with someone who's kind of an independent contractor there's a decent chance that your number is now saved in their phone as a contact. So I kind of assume that if I call someone for a job that I had them do the previous year, there might be some awareness. But there was none with Jerry. Also, I found Jerry because of a crudely made sign nailed to a light pole that said, Jerry, brush hogging. And then his phone number. That's how I sold my house. He goes, did you sell it to a caveman? Ug buys ugly houses. Oh, is it Ug? Oh, ProPublica did a whole thing on those. Have you seen those? It's a very predatory thing where it's basically a company that will come not give you enough money for your house, particularly if you're a black or brown person. But their mascot is a caveman named Ugg because he buys ugly houses.

Oh, I see. You know, I've only seen the ones that are just like a plain yellow sign with like black lettering that says sell your house and a phone number.

can you imagine the circumstances under which that would be who you'd go with like i find those kinds of signs to be although i mean that's how i found the brush hogger but anyway jerry i'm talking to jerry for like 15 minutes about his wildlife photography and this that and the other and he just goes but who is this again and i go it's a luke burbank i'm the guy on this address i go it was the yard where you got stung by the bees and he goes oh yeah because he had been stung by a bunch of bees while he was brush hogging oh my god and i said i go i go i didn't bring that up because i didn't know if that happens all the times he goes it happens sometimes but yours were the worst so he knows who i am because apparently i have a bee situation i think it might have been wasps actually oh my god and old jerry gets off that brush hogger and just starts rubbing red clay dirt on he goes this my mama taught me to do oh wow that was how he dealt with the wasp and He's willing to come back. Oh, yeah. I mean, he knew exactly. Once I told him about the wasps, he knew exactly where he was coming.

He didn't hang up. He's like, oh, I'm coming back. I want more of that wasp action. Hey, I don't know if this makes sense to bury this at this part of the show. I feel bad about today's show. I feel like I was a little distracted. Can I just tell you a little something? I don't know why I'm doing this at the end of the show. But I got up like, you know, I generally speaking have a bad habit of sleeping until like basically the last minute until I absolutely need to get up and then do some show prep and kind of drag myself in the office. It's like the past couple of days, maybe because the Thon put me on a different schedule. I was a little sick this weekend. I think that might have had to do with it. My sleep schedule has changed. So I've been like kind of up and at them earlier than usual. And today I was up and at them like, I don't know, like I think three hours before we were supposed to do the show. And it felt great. I was taking care of some puttering. I then had plenty of time to do my TBTL prep work. I was just like really excited to like really bring that energy to the show today. But then I kind of made a mistake of troubleshooting some things and troubleshooting technology. While it's something that I enjoy and you've said I'm good at and I appreciate that, I feel like I can I can dig into things. Well, it puts me in a different mindset and I should probably not troubleshoot technology before the show as much as possible, because if it's not completed, it sort of nags at me a little bit.

Which is also why you're good at it, though, because like if it didn't nag at you, you wouldn't solve all of it and you wouldn't, you know, kind of make sure it all gets worked out. Like if you just were like, it is what it is, you'd both not be bothered by it and also not be good at fixing it. So I guess are those those sort of come together as a package deal.

And so I don't know what it is, but like even talking about the all star game, I just felt like I don't know. I just feel like I did not bring it today. I feel like I'm a little bit disappointed in my performance as a podcaster on the show today. Having said that, we have made some, I'm trying to think, we've had some success in troubleshooting some issues that we brought up regarding our website that we brought up on yesterday's episode of TBTL. And that is we, as promised, for anybody who gave it the $6 a month or more level during the recent TB Telephone, thank you all again very, very, very much. Everybody who gave it that level or above gets their name in a contract. constant live ticker that scrolls across the tbtl.net website well we think that that ticker because that we have so many generous donors the the data that we inputted in there was way more way more than it's built for than that particular aspect of the squarespace website is built for so it was causing the site to crash for people specifically who were trying to uh go to the site using the safari browser and i guess a little bit the firefox browser but it was actually on the show yesterday luke i think where you tried to go to tbtl.net right and it didn't it not load i was

i was like the listeners i want them to know i walk in their shoes yeah i'm the ombuds person for the listeners i represent them on the show and i was having trouble the last couple days

getting to tbtl.net because i tend to use safari and i think that that is because of that ticker that we had on the main page so in the past couple of hours both before the show and i'm not going to lie to you a little bit during the show uh we have moved that ticker to a different part of the website if you go to tbtl.net right now on any browser it should load for you fine the website should um if you hit the big thank you button at the top of the page or the little uh donor ticker button at the top right corner of the page that will take you to a special page where you can see the tbtl ticker and you can see your name and lights unless you use safari in which case you cannot see your name and lights you'll you'll want to use chrome or something like that um we are uh so so that that particular page still won't work for safari but john and i are looking at more long-term solutions we're thinking that maybe we can find some other way to present this ticker uh without just using the squarespace tool that we're sort of sort of misappropriating here but i did want to let people know if they go to the website and i do know that like people have been excited about seeing their name in the ticker uh and have been waiting for it and some people even were watching it over and over and over intently during the thon waiting to see their name all the names that qualify should be in there right now uh and if you go to a special page on the website we had to just move it off of the main page because it was crashing on people who use safari which i also learned at some point this morning is 16 of the online marketplace

But the thing is, this is one of those moments for us as the TVTL content creators where it's like, it's very cool that, in fact, you said this to me before the show, it's very cool that people are as excited about this as they are because if I'm being totally honest, I didn't see that. I thought, oh, you know, we'll do this fun thing. And by we, I mean you and John will do this fun thing of entering all these names into this system and folks can go to the website and see their name. And we tested it out with like three names and it was great. But now, because people are so excited about this, which is a great thing, people are also very antsy about it being up and working and seeing their name. And, again, I think that overall it's a positive because it's not just something that people are kind of ambivalent about. People are stoked. But it's also more of a technical challenge than I think you and John kind of thought it would be. I knew exactly how hard it would be. That's why I didn't volunteer to do any of the work. No, you told us. I sensed from a long way away. And I do a little bit of back-end coding. I know a lot about UX. And I knew this was going to be a disaster from the start Which is why I backed away from it It's called ux, Luke You really kind of showed your ass there a little bit That is 100% a thing that could have happened to me in real life If I'd never heard someone call it UX I could see myself with a straight face in a meeting in 2023 Going, well, we have to really find out about the ux experience I'm a person who thought it was awoxican cuisine Pretty far into my 20s I think that's relatively fair, depending on your background.

It's ux, as in right now, the ticker kind of ux. But we're working on it. I think, I mean, listen, we have a page. It is moving. But there are some things that we want. First of all, it's crawling at such a slow pace because there are thousands of names in there. And also, or however many, over a thousand. And also, it's not randomized. so like uh if you like you're gonna refresh the page it always begins with the same name and you gotta get a start over and if you're at the end of the list so i'm look i mean if anybody knows about you know tools that we can kind of replace this with actually that we could use we're talking

to the exact right group of folks we have a lot of extremely web savvy folks yeah this is great let's hive mind this if anyone has a better idea as to how we can do the ticker and also how it can be more randomized but also in a way that we can import all the names because andrew has spent hours and so did john john did a lot of this manually both of you two have been manually entering names in that ticker so it would be very nice if it was a way to not have that work

be completely wasted either yeah and we did we i did realize that i had been approaching it when i I was in, like, kind of in. inserting each name individually for a while that that was not the right way to do it so for those of you who are like oh my gosh why are you doing it the hardest way possible we did we did find a some shortcuts to make it a little bit easier oh and this is just a small thing too i might as well throw this out here because i have gotten a few notes from people about this and again if people are listening this far into a show that i feel like i kind of tanked early on um you know good But there were some questions about our podcast for the Amazon show Patriot that we did several years ago and whether or not that would still be available for folks. And yes, it will be. And that is something that is actually kind of in the process of of happening right now. But I mean, when I say it's in the process of happening, all that's happening is it's not disappearing on you. If you're somebody who likes to go back and listen to the Macmillan Men podcast on your podcatcher, or if you haven't checked it out yet, everything will be where it always was, as far as you can tell. And maybe I'll even build out a little Macmillan Men page on the website at some point once we get our feet underneath us a little bit. But for fans of Patriot and fans of our companion podcast, Macmillan Men, it will still be there for you in perpetuity.

And I know this is not in any way why you brought this up, Andrew, but because you are your own harshest critic, I just want to remind you, you did a flippant, incredible job of all that RSS stuff and dealing with Libsyn and all of our former colleagues at APM of migrating all this content and then manually adding a bunch of the stuff that didn't quite migrate. And so that nobody missed a beat So if there's one little thing With the ticker or something Be nice to yourself because you've done an incredible job With this transition

Thanks yeah I mean a lot of people Were involved in a lot of these things But I'll definitely take the credit

Wow I gotta go to Club Muse now Another show ends with Andrew Running off to Club Muse after giving himself Credit for something

Oh shout out to listener Aaron By the way who made me look like a rock star in front of my friend Pauly at the Home Run Derby last night. Listener Erin said love the show while she was waiting in line for some refreshments. And so I had to point out to Pauly that yeah, I'm kind of a big deal in this town, friend.

Absolutely. All right, well listen, I think we should wrap things up. You have to go C and BC and at the hottest club, Seattle's hottest club is Muse. I'm coming, Rosie. It's that thing of when a podcaster and his friend Pauly get let in by their friend who works at Kixi. That's my Stefan impression. It's not great. All right. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you all in the meantime. Have a great Tuesday. Oh, happy birthday to my sister, Liz. Oh, happy birthday, Liz. Today's her actual birthday. Usually we save those for Thursday, but okay. And we will see you all tomorrow. In the meantime, again, have a great Tuesday. Have fun at the All-Star Game tonight, Andrew. and any other listeners who might be there. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

You have no idea how my body processes soup. Power out.