Muse

Cross promotional spots for a monster truck rally to be read during non-stop rock blocks? No thanks, TJ. Never again.

Look, Z-Man, I know you're not happy about what happened back then, but I had no choice. Those traffic updates gave us critical mainstream support. And all we had to give up was one hour of non-stop rock. We never could have held on to that power rush hour. People just weren't ready for that much rock with so little talk. The 9 a.m. compromise allowed us to bring back Get the Lead Out Friday. In 96, the ratio of rock to talk was 3 to 1. Today, it's 5 to 1. And yes, someday, God willing, it will be infinity.

TBTL!

I suck without the internet, dude.

It's like, I'm too real for it, you know? Sometimes people say that my head is too big for my body, and then I say, compared to what?

If you had a favorite saying, what would it be?

Life's the party, rock your body.

You're so shy and small, and you're so loud and huge.

I swear, every time this guy talks, all I hear is a turkey goblin.

You're both little troublemakers. You're both huge in Japan. You probably have a lot to talk about. Go!

Keep things light. Don't bring up your divorce.

Well, all right. Hello. Good morning. Welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Hey, where's the freaking gabagoo? My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Houston, we have a boner.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where I am activating these little audio drops, but I'm doing it under some amount of distress. You might even say duress because I injured my finger cleaning my bathroom this morning.

That really hurt.

Of all the body parts for me to injure, honestly, other than maybe my vocal cords, probably my little fingers to play these audio drops is one of the more, I don't know, important things for me to have. Luckily, I've got ten fingers. Nine of them are still working, so we should be able to get through episode 3986 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

Uh, there is a menace in, uh, off the waters of California that is stealing surfboards from surfers.

He's dropping, just ride the barrel and get pitted. So pitted.

The search is on for a mysterious entity just known as 841. Uh, so we are going to talk about that. Uh, we're also going to talk to the longest running co-bro of the show. may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Now, he has just been in baseball land the last two days.

Hey, Lloyd, do some delivery for the truck to the airport.

But that's also meant a lot of socializing, a lot of outdoor time and not enough Andy time. Social engineering. What is it exactly, and how does it work? So he's probably relieved to be here in a more contained, controlled environment just talking to me. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. My latest. I'm telling you this to you as if the listeners have been following along with something I've been telling you about off the air. But my latest ridiculous theory is that I caught salmonella over the weekend or last week. I saw in the Seattle Times today that there was a salmonella outbreak. Now, that was in King County and it involved six people.

I should be eating any room temperature clams.

Yes, that I was not in King County. I was in Kitsap County. But I had some sort of, it struck me about halfway through Friday's live streamed show. I started to feel ill in a way that I've never felt ill before. It wasn't super dramatic, but it was a new sensation for me that had chills and fevers and whatnot. And at first we're like, oh.

I get dizzy spells, nausea, cold sweats, hot sweats. Play the whole thing. Okay, I was going to ask you.

I'm interrupting you talking so you get to vote for if we hear the full litany or not.

Involuntary trembling, dead hands, numb lips, fingernail sensitivity, pelvic discomfort. How many of those symptoms have you been suffering from?

All of them. And I know that I've been telling you a lot about this. So I don't know. When I talk about being under the weather, I feel like I can be a bit of a drama queen about it. And I don't mean to be. But it was a sensation unlike one that I had had It was a tradition unlike any other In memory, yeah, like chills, body aches I never get these kinds of symptoms If I'm worn down for something, which was my original theory Like, well, I've been working hard for the past few weeks Yeah, that was my

I had a hero theory. When you told me about it the other day, I had a hero theory going, which was that you knew that last week's TV telethon was so critical to the survival of the program, and you were so critical to it actually getting broadcast, etc., that your body just said, we will not allow it. Not today, Satan. And then on Friday, when the finish line was in view, your body said, release the Kraken. It just went for it.

Or in my case, release the Kraken, because that is also something that...

Now, you don't usually go for that, but I would say that could be the show title.

No, it won't be the show title. I'm sorry. I'm still in charge of that department. But it was just so apt in this case because I did have tummy troubles that went along with this. And I totally lost my appetite. I never threw up. And I don't know if I actually had any kind of a foodborne illness. I will say that everybody I tell this story to says, well, yeah, of course. You had a few weeks of really intense work where you were just focused on the one thing. And then, of course, on Friday, the last day of the thon, your body told the score or whatever the expression is. Keeps the count. The body holds the score. The body.

Yeah.

What is it?

Body keeps the score, right? The body keeps the score is, I think, more about trauma. Oh, I also think probably there was a certain amount of trauma created for you. Well, I had to be with you for a week. Self-created. No. Yes. No, but anyway. Nature bats last.

so I feel like the body keeps the official score

and actually just you know what ruled that a hit

the body has a pitch clock now weirdly some people are very into it the body is under review hands up against the ears the body booed Dusty Baker yesterday and it felt so good anyway I was just going to say I think that's a fair theory and I definitely I would definitely believe that if it was my usual rundown symptoms of a head cold that turns into a chest cold, et cetera, et cetera. Anyway, I don't know if all of these things are related. And I know I'm being somewhat ridiculous. I had told you, since I've brought this up, I did have one of the most, and this is pretty disgusting, but it's not related to my intestines, at least. Oh, okay, good. But I had one of the grossest- You're a gross person. But most also satisfying feelings of sickness I think I've ever had, which is again i did have a bit of a fever it's like 100.5 i think that's very low for uh for somebody of you know i don't think it's scary to have that temperature i think people probably have much higher temperatures when they get sick i don't know what people were did you have a fever

when you uh had covid i never got covid but um nothing that was uh you know like super noticeable i didn't feel great but it felt like maybe just like a for me anyway luckily it just felt like a

cold yeah didn't feel super good well i just wasn't used to i'm not used to the the symptoms um that go along with the fever and so i i did took me a long time to kind of realize i was sick and not just sort of run down as we drove back from pole's bow and i was starting to feel just i started by being a little bit spacey and then a little bit achy and then a little bit chills and then then i was just like crawling into bed and i told you i spent all day friday in bed it kind of and then i'm like oh i have a fever that's what these feelings are i'm just waiting for it to break genevieve always says you know your fever will eventually break and i don't have a lot of experience with these things and i finally you know i was in bed and i was waking up throughout the night and being like oh am i better yet i was also nervous that whatever i had would keep me from my all-star game activities that yeah were heavily invested in uh somewhat by me but also by my friend's generous family to send me there so anyway i was feeling you're on a scholarship yeah exactly so all of that is to say I kept waking up on Friday night early Saturday morning like do I feel better yet no I still don't it hasn't broken whatever that means then 6 30 a.m and Genevieve was sleeping on the couch because I think I had officially turned the the bed into a sick bed 6 30 a.m on Saturday morning I woke up drenched just drenched head to toe I got up I looked at the pillow drenched I had sweated so much and I felt great my fever I guess this is what happens when fevers break my fever had broken also it was a really hot day Friday was a hot day and I but I had the chill so I was under the covers that probably didn't help and it was like somebody had given me the ice bucket challenge in my sleep I that is so fascinating to me Andrew because um didn't know you like to get wet though that is what it was like I've been setting that up for the last 11 months by overusing that drop just so that joke would pay off years yeah is that surprising that that amount of because i guess that's part of the process or yeah can be but i i've been telling several people this and maybe it's less fascinating to others than it is to me but i was just like my

body did this like my shirt my I was like I jumped in a lake it was just like everything was soaked it wasn't like oh the sheets are a little bit wet like it I my body and I didn't wet the bed I know everybody's thinking that I didn't wet the bed okay I mean I did the next night but anyway I just had never and there it was one of those things where I felt a lot better I started to gain a little bit of appetite after that um and I the chills were gone the aches were gone but I just could not get over how gross my body became in order to get over this fever that has very

strong little house on the prairie kind of vibrations um and i don't even know if these are in the original books but there's definitely in the tv version of of that of that whole operation there was an episode that loomed very large in my mind as a kid because we didn't get to watch a lot of tv um but but my mom would drag out this little black and white television that stayed in a closet to watch Little House on the Prairie and the Waltons. And there was an episode of Little House where Carolyn, a.k.a. Ma Ingalls, for some reason she's by herself. I don't know if the rest of the family is like, you know, traveling to Mankato or something. But she finds herself in their little house on the prairie by herself. And she, I think, gets some kind of a cut. She basically gets, you know, I think she's gets stuck with something that's rusty so maybe she has tetanus or maybe she i don't know what she has she has some kind of old-timey fever related situation and she is so out of it and so feverish that she's reading the bible and she's reading the the the verse in the bible that says something like if your hand offends you cut it off and she gets it in her head that what she needs to do is cut her leg off oh no because that's where she's gotten this injury of whatever she caught herself on and she's sitting there by the fire and she's just sweating profusely and she's like got a knife and she's about to cut her own leg off oh my god and then uh i think i forget what exactly happens but at some point the fever breaks and she's just like pouring sweat but it's like the it's like the demons are like sort of literally and figuratively leaving her body and then all of a sudden she's okay she like wakes up the next morning and it's like somehow she's gotten through it and she's like she's not trying to cut her leg off anymore And that really stuck with me. In fact, that's not just on that show, but in lots of things from that era, everyone's always waiting for the fever to break.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And Genevieve always says, well, you know, your fever will break. And I didn't know exactly what that meant. But apparently in my case, it meant that. And then when I wake up this morning and I see the headline six in King County sickened by salmonella and I'm reading it and it doesn't really you know, I didn't think I hadn't developed my well thought out theory yet. And then I'm reading the symptoms. I'm like, oh, yeah, that's kind of the symptoms that I had, like kind of like light nausea, upset stomach, fevers, chills.

And then I thought, oh, man, this must be killing you. What? The salmonella dripping all over my desk? It's lamb, ding dong, not salmon.

Anyway, I was like, oh, that's what I had. It doesn't really scan, though. It's the wrong county. It's the wrong period of time to have the have the disease. But I wanted to play my archer.

Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, and I'm really glad that you didn't have your special All-Star weekend or whatever All-Star couple of days ruined because that would have really been a huge bummer. And I would have felt like your body was prioritizing TBTL over this other thing that you've really been looking forward to because, again, I still believe your body was somehow holding that whole situation off until your duties with TBTL were done. And then you could put some duty in your bathroom there at your house in Seattle. Thank you, yeah. It's all about choosing which duties have the priority. This is a duty-free store. I have never actually taken advantage of the duty-free shopping, despite the catchy song from Seinfeld. Remember, I like to stop at the duty-free shop?

No, I don't remember that.

Yeah, there was like, because they had a whole episode or at least a whole plot on an episode about like, What the heck does duty-free even mean? I'm trying to see if I can find this on the fly. I guess what that is is you buy stuff. If you're traveling internationally, you don't have to. Should I just play this from Seinfeld? I don't know if this is going to pay off or not. Kramer and George and maybe Jerry are all in a car together. I think you could touch that on it. Confused it with another warning.

That's how we do it on time. We're perfect. I timed this out so we would pull up at the terminal exactly 17 minutes after their flight is supposed to land. That gives them just enough time to get off the plane, pick up their bags, and be walking out of the terminal as we roll up. I remember this episode. I tell you, it's a thing of beauty. I cannot express to you the feeling I get from a perfect pickup. What's going on? What are you doing? What? The Long Island Express? Hey, Luke, can you pause it for a second? I can, yeah. So I don't remember the part that you're looking for, the Duty Free song, but I remember this. I'm wondering, though, if I'm conflating it with another episode. Are they in George's car or Kramer's awful car? It looks like, well, Kramer's driving, so presumably Kramer's awful car. Okay, I think I remember that. This is not the one, though, where George is wearing a super oversized jacket, though, right? That's another kind of driving episode.

Yeah, not that I can tell. And I think, I mean, this is, YouTube is telling me this is Seinfeld duty-free shop. My guess is at some point, Kramer tells George he wants to go to the duty-free shop and he starts singing the song because they're going to the airport. But this also could just be a complete, like, mislabeled file that's now forcing us to watch an uninteresting one minute and 35 seconds of a random Seinfeld episode.

This is a suicide mission. Are you relaxed? Oh, I had it perfectly timed out. the grand central the van wig you destroyed my home this is the best way to go do you know what happens if i miss him i don't get credit for the pickup and i lose my 50 cars there's no traffic at this time now come on really if anything we'll probably get there early i'll have a chance to go to the duty-free shop the duty-free shop yeah duty-free is the biggest sucker deal in retail Do you know how much duty is? Duty. Yeah, duty. Do you know how much duty is? No, I don't know how much duty is. Duty is nothing. It's like sales tax. Well, I still like to stop at the duty-free shop. I like to stop at the duty-free shop. I like to stop at the duty-free shop. I like to stop at the duty-free shop. I do vaguely remember that.

Okay, yeah, yeah. And it's basically like the whole idea of the duty free shop is if you're if you don't live in the U.S. or if you don't live in whatever country the airport is in, you can buy stuff, but they won't charge you the little extra thing, the duty on there. And so it's it's a slightly better deal. But then you also my experience from being in the airport is you also have to show your you have to show your airline ticket that says I'm leaving the country right after this.

Oh, it has to be an international, it does really?

Yeah, because that's what the duty, the duty has to do with international tariffs and fees and things like that. And the whole, so that's why, particularly in larger airports, there'll be this whole section that's full of like perfume and really expensive cognac.

Right, because I swear that I've been in there before, not because I'm looking for a good Kramer deal, but because I've landed somewhere and I actually want a bottle of booze or something for the trip. And it's like, well, we're here now, but you're saying that I could probably buy it there. I just wouldn't get the duty free deal if I was staying in town.

You know, I've never tried to I've never tested that theory, but my guess would be, yeah, you could maybe buy it, but they wouldn't give you the deal on it. And if you do get the deal, sometimes they seal it in this crazy bag that like if you open it, you're in trouble. like they they the for something that i do think is fairly minimal minimal excuse me or minimal um like in terms of the the i don't know let's say i'm just totally guessing but on like a 300 bottle of very crazy expensive scotch or something i mean what what what what could it what could it be michael ten dollars no what could the duty be 20 bucks 30 bucks but for something that's you know a 20 or 30 savings the the amount of the rigor around it is actually really surprising to me like you really have to show your ticket and you have to their ticket has to indicate that you're leaving that country and you're doing it soon and like you know what i mean like they don't want people just coming in and getting getting that sweet duty free deal which is by the way the problem with the entire premise of what kramer is saying right because he's not traveling no he would not in reality and maybe they've upped the the security in the last 15 20 years um but but as far as i understand he couldn't just like saunter into la guardia and pick up some some cheap stuff and then wander off like you know and just go back home to new york like that's not how

that works yes wait luke it's all my fever broke it's all coming back to me really interesting there was a time when i was a younger man but not a super young man i'm sorry i'm just trying to remember this I was in my 20s or 30s or something and I was I was trying to do exactly what I just said which is like I was in a town and I think I was like okay well I'll get a bottle of like you know whatever scotch or something and I remember this woman saying I need to see your ticket I need to see your ticket and I also don't think she spoke English as a first language and so there was a little bit of a language thing and I didn't know about this rule and I didn't understand it and maybe somebody tried to explain it to me and I didn't understand but like I just remember staying

stamping the classic Andrew Walsh stamp when he stamps out of a store because he feels like he's gotten bad service or not what he wants. I remember like powderly stamping out of the store and being like, what the F is going on? Like, why would they need to see my ticket? And that was it. They thought I was trying. I didn't care about the duty. I would have paid the duty. Maybe they don't. And maybe you're not even allowed to buy it. I'm looking here and it's I'm just on some store that says frequently asked questions like if unfortunately, if you're not flying internationally, you cannot purchase from our store. Those are the first thing that popped up. So that would make I do have just this vague recollection of being really confused and really put out that somebody wouldn't sell me something without seeing my airplane ticket.

Do you think we can find that person and maybe you could apologize to her?

I don't think I mean, I don't think I lashed out. I didn't I don't think I said anything. i think i was just like well what that yeah they have a bunch of that stuff up on the u.s canadian

border as well and i'm not sure how that whole deal works now that i know i've done before up around blaine yeah and i'm i'm not sure if i don't know how they because i mean if it's so controlled in the airport where they're like show us your ticket and everything i don't know i mean obviously you have to show some kind of id to prove that you're you know from like i don't think as a i don't know but as an american can you go up to one of the duty-free shops that's on the u.s side of the canadian border and just buy stuff for cheaper i would guess you can't

yeah i don't know there's got to be some rule i i could be wrong about this i feel like i was coming back into the country at the kind of blame crossing coming back from canada and one of us had to use the restroom so we stopped and while we were there i swear i bought some stuff and and brought it into the states with me well no i mean i would have already crossed over into the states at that point so i don't know that doesn't make a lot of sense but i don't think i'm helping the

show right now so i'm going to stop i'm going to help the show by once again proving just how right and you might even say prescient i tend to be pressure um no prescient i don't know i go back and forth i don't know why i felt the need to insert that but like i uh the other day uh in advance of you going to the home run derby i made this observation that i've been making a lot over the last few years really into the void no one cares that this is my take on the home run derby but i said and this is at the very end of the show i said something like it's it seems unsafe to me that for the home run derby part of the promotion is sending a bunch of children into the outfield when you have world-class baseball hitters smashing meatballs like i mean this isn't even a regular game this is where the by design they're supposed to be hitting these things as hard as humanly possible um and you got kids in the outfield and uh and then uh later on i don't know if it was that night or the next morning you texted me oh by the way a kid totally got hit by

a ball night and i was wrong i said bonked i i like to employ a bonk to you know yeah take the edge off you know i think there are certain sort of injuries or instances that i think a bonk sort of uh gives the impression that yes somebody did get hit in some way but it wasn't it wasn't all that scary in this case i i remember using that a lot when i was dissecting the cat williams

saga in seattle i do remember that being the case he bonked someone with a microphone

The least aggressive thing

Is a boop And then one step up from a boop is a bonk

Exactly You're exactly right And I remember trying to defend Cat Williams And so I employed the bonk He bonked somebody on the head with a microphone Anyway I think I texted you like Hey I think I'm from the park I said well some kid did get Bonked on the head because I remember you You sort of teased that at the end of the show Before the Home Run Derby oh you put all these kids out there where these balls are flying around I was kind of like oh they're not line drives you know if these balls are coming down they're pop flies the kids are ready for it and what happens and I found out later I saw a kid writhing on the ground and I was like for a second and then got up and kind of left the field and seemed okay and we all applauded and I assume the kid got bonked on the head but later I did you watch the video that was

watch 115.8 miles per hour i actually have the audio here i don't think this really pays off as audio because i think in the moment probably the focus was did vladi jr hit a home run or not you know what i mean like i don't think like once it's once the announcers notice it's not a home run i think they're on to the next yeah but i'm gonna play you the audio anyway this is off of tiktok wait what that was not is this is this somebody just decided to put this music under i don't video do you have you heard the audio

because i don't think there's any good audio because the announcers don't even know to say right well would this help your experience that was what was playing as this kid's just getting absolutely demolished by the i mean not to not to joke about this kid's pain because i did see a photo of the kid later with a pretty mean shiner oh was it right in the i thought it

looked like the forehead to me but it was actually on the eye wow that really is scary it's not this

is i mean this is some pretty bunk journalism because what i saw in a different like tiktok posting about it was the the clip of the kid getting hit and then a picture of a kid later wearing what looked like a mariner's jersey with a pretty mean shiner okay and i put together that that's supposed to be the same kid but i can't verify that um but in all seriousness like i don't me i guess my little observation being sort of accurate or whatever is a much lower priority than the health of this kid but i wonder like how is it that this hasn't happened more and also what are the instructions to the children when they go out there and what is signed literally like what are the release forms say that their parents sign i was watching you know the the the kids get to run out for the home run derby and i i almost you were there so you would notice i almost wonder were they in shifts or was it just like i wonder if it was like the same kids are allowed to be out there for the whole thing or if you're allowed to be out there for the first round because i Because the other thing is, you tell 12-year-old Luke he can go out in the outfield to shag flies for the home run derby, I mean, I would have been first in line. What?

You tell 46-year-old Andrew he can do that, I'd be first in line. Exactly. I don't care if I'd be the only adult out there.

I'm telling you, it would be the coolest thing. So I'm sure that there are lots and lots and lots of kids who would love to be a part of that. I don't know how they decide who gets to be out there or what. but like it's again a bit surprising to me that this doesn't happen more because that ball was traveling and the kids out by the warning track right that ball is traveling at 115 miles per hour even if the instruction to the children is if you see a ball coming your way get out of the way it's i mean it's it's maybe easier said than done when something is traveling 115 miles per hour

yeah for people who haven't seen the video i think another interesting aspect of it is it looks like the kid's got a read on the ball like his mitt is trying to catch it he's trying to catch it and it just kind of it flies so it's you know off the bat his favorite his favorite mariner is teoscar hernandez he's like i know what to do here he's like i want to be like mike i've seen

this before oh this is great i put the mitt really close to the ball but not around the ball anyway

um yeah so he like he puts his glove up and again so here was my experience of it maybe i'm repeating myself but all i know is we're watching the derby and then somebody around us i says i i think somebody around us said like oh it looks like that kid got hit and then but it's after the fact for me and i just sort of see a kid um kind of on his side and then i thought i think i thought it was a girl i don't know why that matters but um i was very very far away they never put on the jumbotron or anything i never asked where where were you sitting so i'm sitting in the third um up in the view level so the third level up like way up there um kind of along the third baseline not quite to the not quite to the foul pole but basically kind of getting close to that foul pole uh but anyway so if you can sort of picture that so we had a great view in fact that came into play yesterday because we're at the all-star game yesterday and if you know those seats at all in t-mobile park generally speaking that part of the field can get really drenched in in late day sunshine that kind very direct sunshine but most games start at like 7 10 or maybe 6 40 um but usually by inning three or something like the first few innings of a game if you're sitting out there and kind of like the right field area the sun will kind of go down by the third inning or something and yesterday the game started at five so me and paulie who are already a little bit day drunk we're just out there more jello shots not yesterday just shots unfortunately and just like kind of and before we got to the park you know and then we're just sitting out there baking in the sun for like five innings and then we finally said let's just wander around the concourse this is why you didn't watch

what was one of the more potentially cinematic moments in the history of the all-star game by

the time i mean we still had a great time it was so good we were just wandering around taking it all in and everything so it doesn't totally feel squandered but yeah by that point we kind of stop paying attention to what was actually going on on the field but uh all i saw on the the night that the kid got hit was i saw them sort of writhing for a minute maybe not even quite a minute and then um and then gets up and some kids come around then gets up and runs off the field and everybody applauds and so it seemed like they kind of got through it but i did not realize it was a line drive yeah this is a reading from fanbuzz.com this is as of yesterday numerous I don't know. injuries to children have fans questioning the safety of mlb home run derby after a young shagger at the 2023 mlb home run derby was injured fans are wondering whether the event is safe for children in the outfield and then i'm looking around other places on the internet when this went down during the home run derby somebody on uh looks like maybe twitter posted never forget this home run derby moment pete alonzo nailing a kid in the head and the cameraman cutting to the kid getting helped off the field while pete alonzo was dancing because of course pete alonzo has no idea that some injury has happened but the juxtaposition of this young kid be again it's not funny when children get injured but this kid being kind of like he's not being carried off in a stretcher he's being helped off he's walking under his own power but then they cut to pete alonzo doing this shoulder shimmy because he's doing well in the home run derby but it's quite the visual before

we get to like let's pull the kids out of the outfield couldn't we like john older rooted or whatever like give them little helmets out there like i wonder if that's i mean although that

wouldn't have helped unless a kid gets bonked on top of the head andrew i don't think the balls have been have been cracking off of the domes of the children that's true i think it's probably an attempt to but i mean that's the other thing i won't take this much further because people get the point but like the other thing is when when these hitters are not hitting a home run they're often hitting a laser beam line drive like you probably should tell the kids don't try to catch don't try to catch anything don't even like there this is a situation where the ball's either out of the park or it's dangerous there are no like right there's no like these are no like broken bat inside out swing texas leaguer bloopers like that's not happening here either The ball is safely leaving the ballpark or you really should be in some kind of bunker duck and duck and cover on the field.

I don't usually ask myself these questions because I don't I don't have kids and so it just doesn't come up in my life. But after thinking about this story after the home run derby, because I was weirdly I was like kind of weirdly defensive of the practice of having kids out there, because maybe like like you were saying, if I was a kid, I'd really want to be out. totally and so i was sincerely asking myself if i had kids and i think that's a really hard question you know if you're somebody with kids and you're like you're 46 you've never you babysat one kid once for an hour like that's my experience and that kid got hurt and i and i bludgeoned that kid it was way worse than a bonk with a with cat williams microphone um uh but uh i uh i was like if i had a kid and they really wanted to be out there and i maybe i'd also want them to be out there because it seemed like a really fun experience like what i would i let them or because i i feel like i'd be a very i was i was really sheltered growing up and i feel like i was too sheltered growing up and it kind of um i do think it affected my social life or my lack thereof as a little kid my my parents not wanting me to ride my bike down these long windy country roads where kids could easily get hurt.

Yeah, and believe me, I'm sure 40% of the population is drunk driving after 4 p.m. with a can of bush light in the console.

You're not wrong. I mean, literally, I grew up in an area where this is really, really sad, but I know a kid who lost her mother while I was in school with her, and her mother was just checking the mail at the end of their long driveway. So anyway, so there was a danger there, but I also feel like if I was a parent, my instinct i think would be to be very protective of my kids but maybe sometimes i try to fight that instinct a little bit so that they could still have a life um and but i was really asking myself like if would i be comfortable letting my kid be out in the outfield and i kept coming back to it it's like yeah because i feel like how many times has this happened yeah and it's a small percentage of people who've even gotten hit of kids who've gotten hit and then in the cases that they have gotten hit nobody's been like i don't think super seriously injured i could be wrong about that but then I was just like but wait we gotta wait for the one we gotta wait for the one where you and I are having this conversation it's not sure that's why yeah and it's sure that's why we're

still letting kids do this I know and this is I mean we're were we still doing talk radio on Cairo this would actually be a great topic but in this case it's not but if we no no no what I mean is because that's the kind of content we traffic in there is you know like this kind of slippery slope stuff and like you know what's the response like like exactly what you said which is kind of like uh it's all fun and games until something bad happens and then the question becomes well why didn't we get out in front of this but i mean if i had a kid uh that age and they somehow got the opportunity to go out there and shag flies i would absolutely let them do it i mean i might say to them hey if um vlad guerrero jr just hits an absolute missile at you but also you know what I would say this, too. I think the kid's age might have something to do with it. This kid was kind of appeared to be maybe sort of a tween. i feel like if you're six you're not even tracking the ball like you don't even like it doesn't even occur to you if you're six to make a legitimate attempt at catching it which is probably fine if you're and if you're like they don't there's a reason they don't have an 18 year olds out there because like it's cuter when it's young kids but this kid looked like he was old enough to where he thought i might be able to pull this off yeah he's in he was in the exact wrong age range for this because he was like i got this and then he didn't got this yeah i i was i had a lot of

questions and i'm sure these are very answerable questions these are um all of these kids who participate i believe are engaged with the boys and girls club i think right the positive place

for kids wait why didn't they have well they didn't have the all-star club or is it is a big brothers little brothers well that part i don't know but i'm just my reaction was because i grew up going to the boys and girls club and man i would have i would have killed to do this but they also never had the all-star game in seattle while i was going to the boys and girls club but But anyway, I have a connection to that world is why I made that sound.

I can't remember if it's that or if it might have been the big brothers, big sisters situation. I'm not exactly sure. But I'm deeply curious about how they prep and train the kids for this, you know, and make sure that they have a certain – because, I mean, you don't want to just be a sitting duck out there.

Right, exactly. So, well, it sounds like that kid is going to be okay. so I mean yeah I hope that it's weird because I've been making the reference every year about like how dangerous it is and yet I don't want them to change the policy because I think it's cute when kids are running around out there and that would have made my entire life. The closest I came to that and I've told this story too many times is speaking of actually nope that wasn't Boys and Girls Club. I played football for Boys and Girls Club but then I played for this other little community team in Ballard and we got to play on the field at the Kingdome before Monday Night Football Seahawks against the Raiders and that was I mean I'm 47 years old I've had been fortunate enough to have some pretty fun interesting experiences in my life I put that up I made an interception on the turf of the kingdom in a game like a peewee football game and that's it like top

10 life moments of mine yeah no I believe it I mean one of my top 10 I don't know if it's no offense I don't know if it's a top 10 life moment but like one of my fondest memories of being here in seattle was when i already moved down to la and was just desperately missing my city of seattle and and coming back for the first time because you and i were doing it might have been i think we had a tbtlt mobile event or whatever the park was called then but also was it the weekend of our boat show i might be conflating those were that sounds about right we were probably packing a lot yeah you me kamero kev were taking your boat over to uh the savage move no not the savage Moose Kenmore and then also we were going to have a Mariners night and you had asked your friend Greg over at the Mariners if you and I could just sit in the stands and just record an episode of TBTL like hours before a game just it was just like a random afternoon maybe a Thursday afternoon before a game and it was just very quiet there nobody was there except for staff getting ready for the game and and the people preparing the field down below the groundskeepers and it was I mean, that was just so, so awesome.

Yeah, it's any time. I mean, every time I think about something like this where I was given a special opportunity that not everyone gets, I think about a way that I mildly ruined it. Like, remember when they had me and Dave Ross shagging those fly balls before a game that they shot out of the jug machine? And I feel like because I can't ever just be, the show-off demon kicks in so hard. I'm so afraid of seeming like I'm not being entertaining in those moments so then I do something that is more embarrassing than if I would have just played it cool. I ran out to try to catch one of these fly balls. I dove or I, whatever, lunged for it and then ended up doing like a somersault or something like way too much flair for the moment.

Well, they're giving you like a ladle and a cowboy hat to catch the balls. I think they want a little clownery.

I was trying to, I clowned a little too hard though. My memory of it is like, why'd you have to clown that hard? Why couldn't you have just, why couldn't you have been a little cool?

That's a clown question, bro.

Or like me checking the first base when they let me throw out the first pitch and I check the runner at first. It's just shit like that where something's wrong with my brain where it's just like I can't ever just do the thing the way that it's supposed to be done. I have to sort of add some kind of attempt at flair because I feel like on some level I am special and everyone should know it and then I usually just feel like kind of embarrassed afterwards.

This is all hitting on something that I've been feeling today and struggling to put words to And one of my favorite things on this show is to struggle with my words publicly.

Yeah, no, this is a show that's more about feeling things than describing them.

I'm not even joking. Like, I have been thinking, like, I have something that I want to express. I'm not even joking, and I don't know if I really can. But it is essentially wrapped up in my love of this city and its connection.

Specifically to the experiences that I've had at the ballpark here. And again, keep in mind, I'm not somebody like you who grew up loving baseball or following baseball or really knowing what a baseball was. I was afraid of all balls, Luke. And so, you know, I came to the city and my my my appreciation for baseball coincided exactly with coming here and sort of like reading the sports pages for the first time ever. and watching these funny Mariners commercials when the Mariners had a tradition of releasing really funny commercials with their players. And like, it literally worked. And I just sort of, I was like, new city, new me. I don't know, maybe, I don't know. But when I look back at my time here and I think about the moments that I've had at T-Mobile Park from the one I'm telling you about or that I just mentioned that you and I had, but also like from working at this commercial radio station, something I never thought I would do And having the opportunity to produce a live three hour show with you and Dave Ross, where we we interviewed Tom, the bartender, Will Helms and and like, you know, while you and while you and Dave sat behind oversized baseballs with your name on it, like and just like the most like kind of classic talk radio thing. But like we got to do that. I got little glimpses of behind the scenes, stuff like that. But also just like me appreciating baseball more and more and going to the park constantly and and having this ability to just sometimes like if you have a slow Wednesday afternoon in a day game, being able to make the decision at the last minute to just put in put in my earbuds and just like go go to the go to the park for an afternoon or then special events like this weekend where we just totally were immersed in T-Mobile Park and the Mariners and everything around it. And then this is the this is the kind of one part that I was thinking about last night is I was leaving the park yesterday and I was cutting across this kind of parking lot that was fenced off for for all of the activities. There was like all these vendors and whatever. It was this part of the park that was kind of free that you could go to. I'm sorry. It's outside of not the baseball park, but the football stadium. Anyway, so I'm going around this fence and it's weird to see everything is being packed up. Right. is very quiet now um people are inside the fence packing up their stuff for the whatever the next event that they're going to be working and there's as i turn this corner there's like one what do you call like kind of those those temporary awning things like a square little like awning tent or whatever that you might be giving merch out of yeah i don't i just a tent but yeah there's probably a specific name for it and i'm i'm just kind of hustling because i i want to get to the international district train station i'm just about to head up those stairs and I see that there's one lone little like kind of tent there and it's green and I and then I say oh it's it's Cascade Bicycle Club I'm like oh our buddy Lee and I think long-time listeners will recognize the name Lee long-time listener and great friend to the show in fact I'm supposed to be working with him on a uh on a little project for for the Cascadia for the I always

I always want to say Cascadia but it's the Cascade Bicycle Club anyway not until we secede will it be the Cascadia Club. So then I'm walking by it, and then I'm like, I just, in a flash of a second or a moment, I think to myself, oh, Cascade, I got to tell Lee. I saw his tent. But then as I'm thinking that, I'm looking below, and I'm like, that's Lee right there. I can tell him right now. And so we like, from pretty far away, I was kind of proud of my eyesight as it fails that we both kind of locked eyes. Yeah, as a known face-blind person, good for you. And, oh, I mean, the big sign that said Cascade Bicycle Club really helped. So anyway, so then we immediately kind of locked eyes. We're like, holy shit. And so, like, I was able to, like, kind of, like, have a moment with Lee, and he was able to remind me that I got to pick up a VHS tape that I promised I would digitize for him before the end of the month here. And it was just like – and it was just like – I can't explain it. I hadn't seen Lee in a really long time. Connection to the city. It's not like, hey, I'm Mr. I have a podcast, and so I can walk around town like some bigwig. that is definitely not the vibe it's just like i uh ran into i think two other people that i knew at the ballpark it's just like the city sometimes in a very very good way starts to feel a little bit small it still feels like a real city to me seattle feels like a very real city but when it starts to feel like hey my people are just all around and like i can just run into lee and i anyway i don't i was probably just high on just the whole weekend and and drugs no um but you know And as I say goodbye to him, I'm walking up the stairs. I'm just like, I freaking love this city. Like, this is my city. This will always be my city. No matter where I live, this will always be my city, you know?

That's such a cool feeling. I mean, I've had little moments of that in different places where, like you said, it just, it's sort of everything kind of comes together. And you feel like you're in the right place at the right time. Because so much of life is feeling like you're in the wrong place at the wrong time. You know what I mean? And so much of life is a struggle that when you have those kind of little moments of grace,

where it's like, yeah, this is where I'm supposed to be. That's a really great feeling, and I'm really glad that you got to have it. Then you later shit your brains out after you let rest up.

And then I splooched the turtle.

Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right, our Top Story, if you are planning on surfing off the coast of California, particularly near Santa Cruz, um you got to be careful of an otter who's named 841 who is out just terrorizing the surfers let's start at the beginning though andrew this is a piece i saw this in the new york times a piece by annie roth and i don't know if annie was in charge of the headline or not but it's a solid headline she steals surfboards by the seashore you know i didn't even comma she's a sea otter

Oh, I'm sorry I cut you off Oh, no, no, no, no, that's fine

The she steals surfboards part is pretty genius

You know, I didn't even notice the headline Because I was so enamored with the byline Did you read the reporter's byline, the description?

Yeah, Annie Roth lives in Santa Cruz, California Where she knows enough to stay away from sea otters in the ocean

I love that

This is a really, it's a very interesting story And it kind of is sort of like, you know, me and my intrusive animal empathy It's both interesting and funny and also slightly sad, because what it really is is the story of the intersection or the interaction between humans and wildlife, in particular this kind of California sea otter, also known as a southern sea otter, and they are an endangered species. They're found only along the central coast of California. There's about 3,000 of them left. And what's been happening recently is this one otter who's named 841, because this otter was actually living in captivity when it was younger at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. This otter has just been going around basically harassing surfers, scaring them off of their surfboards, climbing onto their surfboards, sometimes biting their surfboards. this happened apparently three times over the weekend now the reason i say it's a bit of a sad story is because 841 was orphaned because 841's mother was too cozy with humans it sounds like if i read this story uh correctly and um and so they 841 was um was growing up in this aquarium the monterey bay aquarium where in order to try to keep 841 from getting too cozy with humans They would feed 841 According to this article Wearing ponchos and masks So that I actually don't know if it's Do you remember if this is a male or female otter?

I feel like it's female But I'm pretty sure female

Okay But in order to try to keep her From getting used to humans They're like feeding this baby otter But they're wearing What I assume looks like something out of mum and chants I'm making a lot of mum and chants references these days They mentioned a poncho and masks. Well, apparently it didn't work because when they released 841 out into the wild, she has started to go towards humans. Although it's unclear, obviously, her motivations if she's trying to get food or what she's doing. But it's also interesting because there are some people who think it's charming when a large, I don't know if otters are rodents, they're probably not, but when a rodent of unusual size with razor-sharp teeth that can break through clam shells climbs onto your board if you're me you bounce that is a terrifying event and yet some of these servers have just been like taking pictures and think it gets pretty funny i don't know if i would ever be right again if an otter started menacing me

from below while i was trying to surf yeah in one of the surfers defense it sort of sounded like he didn't kind of realize the danger or the situation right but i'm just saying instinctively it would be terrifying oh absolutely a wet strange dog coming up to me in the water would scare the living hell out of me so yeah this is a fascinating story i do think that you mentioned this but and i i don't have anything to add to it but this idea that they were trying to they were they were keeping i think this was were they keeping 841 or 841's mother in captivity when they decided i think it was 841 as a younger pup right they were wearing masks and ponchos so that they weren't recognizable as human beings so that when released into the wild 841 wouldn't be too comfortable with humans like that is bananas and i also of course like to think about it from 841's perspective and just being like why are these dumbasses dressed like this i can't wait to get out in the real world where people don't dress up in ponchos and masks and try to scare me all the

time it's definitely epiphenomenal here because what happened was 841's mother was too cozy with humans who were offering her squid yeah also who's just has squid in their pocket

yeah not me anymore you're just out surfing with a squid in your pocket that you and then you see an otter and you're like here's a squid for you so 841's mother was brought in to the aquarium or to a marine wildlife vet care place and then they realized that 841's mother was pregnant with 841 so 841 was born in captivity which as we know if you're born incarcerated the chances of ending up back there the recidivism rate is just off the charts um like you mentioned the ponchos and the masks they uh was they used those on 841 to try to to try to keep her from from getting too cozy but then after about a year in the wild apparently she started showing up um you know and and jumping on surfboards and again biting surfboards there's a picture of one of the surf boards she took a real chunk out of this thing um the good news is they are not going to euthanize 841 i mean particularly because these are an endangered species they're going to try to to capture it for one but she has proved to be very elusive my question there being like why don't you go out on a surfboard seems like she's really there for it yeah right you dressed up in ponchos can't you now just dress up in surf shorts here's our problem she's attacking every surfboard in sight okay we've been looking for her for a week we can't find her get on a surfboard yeah

you'll see her immediately here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from

a female oh man it's not from a female speaking of small things with sharp teeth andrew this cat tell you what bubbles burbank she i'm i'm actually excited this is actually good news she has finally figured out i'll send you a picture of this she has finally figured out a place to hang out while i'm doing the show that isn't on the friggin table the the sit stand desk that i need to broadcast from um or tearing her way up my leg which she used to like to do with her claws she now likes to sit on this desk that i have in a sunbeam and it's just absolutely adorable that makes me very

happy we finally found a detente i love that yeah bingo has not been in my office since i've been back the past few days his thing before uh the thon for a long time there was he would just sit on this window sill that's kind of like right above my head if you can picture me i'm in a basement studio and so i have these small kind of narrow windows up on a bookshelf and uh he'll uh often just sit it's just so perfect he'll just sit there at ground level in this window just

watching the bunnies there are so many bunnies i feel like there is a i know that you know rabbits multiply like rabbits so this is not breaking news but when we were at the airbnb when we were my parents yard everywhere I've been of late uh that's got any kind of grass I am seeing so many

rabbits yeah I think I told you they were sort of freaking me out the one day I was walking home from the ballpark like months ago there were so many of them and I was walking down this neighborhood street not far from my house but very ill lit hardly any I don't think there's any um street lights at all and I just like the the fact I guess I have an instinctive fear of things in nature that are bold if that makes sense you know because you always think about like well if a raccoon is coming up to you it means like you know you need it's rabbit it's rabbit or whatever and i don't in this case they were just rabbit but like there were so many of them and just like boldly kind of coming up to me and then like the more i walked and maybe the more i vaped i was just kind of like oh man these rabbits are out to get me and they have these big black eyes i'm like i you know if you guys were rats if they were if i was walking through this and there were these many rats around I'd be flipping my shit out. So I worked myself up into a lather there. So yeah, I'm scared of rabbits. But also here's a voicemail that has nothing to do with that. This is from listener, I think, I think Maria, but they'll say their name. I think we were just reminiscing about your love of David Letterman as a young person and how the media landscape has changed and the legacy of these shows that once loomed so large in our imagination as kids. And here's

a story about that i said here's a story about that hello friendos this is maria i'm a miss and you were talking about david letterman and i want to tell you about this funny memory or i hope you think it's funny back in the early 90s back when we had vcrs um i would tape david letterman every night and then it was my summer job we came in um and we had these really lax supervisors and we also had kind of lax jobs and so we would watch the opener over lunch every day there were about six of us we were all college students we worked really hard but kind of dark I think the opener was extended so then he would do the weird stuff like put things in hydraulic presses and shoot like toast in a clay pigeon line

launcher and throw things off the building. So, yeah, every day I would record it. When we have the door in the morning, I'd grab that VCR tape, and then we would watch the opener during lunch. Anyway, love you guys. Power out. Good. First of all, good power out, Maria. I do love that. The closest thing I have to that, and it's not very close at all, but it reminded me of it is um when Genevieve and I were newly dating and I was new to the New England area I lived in New Hampshire she lived in Boston she had cable she and her roommate briefly had cable or something and there was this new weird show out called I'm with Busey on Comedy Central and I was like this thing is so weird and so Genevieve would tape I'm with Busey for me during the weeks that i wasn't there and then when i was then when i would visit in boston me and genevieve and her good friend and roommate jessica would would sit around and watch all of the i'm with bucys that

we had missed it was great yeah i was hoping i could i have so much buccy but the problem is i'm also playing the duke theme oh yeah right i have too many audio things going on here because i just felt like i'd be letting the listeners down if you mention gary buccy and i don't play at least one of the do you have drops uh i've got a few i got a few it's all right they've heard them all

You can get rid of the Doogie music because that's all I got for you today anyway.

The thing is, I don't want to jinx anything. And as we know, my powers of prediction are powerful, Andrew. I predicted a kid would be injured during the Home Run Derby, which happened, which came to pass. So I don't want to predict anything. But I will tell you this. It's interesting that Gary Busey seems to be, you know, alive and relatively well all these years later. because i feel like when we were like there's a period of time we were talking about bucey a lot on the show because of i'm with bucey and because maybe even of him just kind of getting into the culture a lot um and just being very uh you know saying things like it's not advice it's sharing information from the heart and spiritual level like i i just feel like or like stuff here's one when life gives you lemons make lemonade when life cracks your head use a helmet he also famously injured himself i think in a motorcycle accident and had a bunch of plates in his head and stuff also uh went bankrupt or at one point was selling off his possessions and i remember us going through i believe this might have been a court-ordered liquidation and i remember us on the show going through what the possessions were because it was legally listed and it involved like a handful of cds and i just remember being like even at that point it was like what what is the street value of like 25 music cds right you just felt like things and again i'm not saying this because i was delighting it at all i don't think gary bucey is particularly like a bad person or anything but i just it just didn't seem like things were going super great for him both on the kind of maybe mental health side and also on the just i don't know career side of things but you know he's still around he seems to have kind of leveled out or i know he's not he's not in the news for anything bad of late so that's kind of good they're not liquidating his cds anymore but i mean i and i

don't i'm not looking to make everybody problematic but wasn't didn't he like betray the entire ship that he was in charge of and under siege or am i misremembering the plot oh was that busey i feel like he was a traitorous captain but i could be wrong about that but either way that's not cool

if i'm right no i'm just looking don't i maybe don't google gary busey i don't know i'm seeing

some things but it's like youtube it's youtube yeah sure i'm not i'm not listen yeah i'm not

i'm not looking to make a you're saying that we're not gonna we're also not going to present him as our um as the the the sort of uh ambassador of the program no i'm just joking i mean i'm just

joking i was trying to remember like when i thought of him i was like i could picture his like sort of like grinning it obviously is grinning gum chomping face i feel like from under siege but i mean i think i saw that in 1994 so like i don't uh i'm not good at that that's a steven seagal movie right like i don't feel like i'm legally allowed to talk about that on a show that also is friends with camaro kev because if we're going to go into that territory we got to

get camaro kev on the horn now that being said i'm at garybusey.com by the way i don't want to i don't want to besmirch gary busey there was a weird like one of those real clickbaity youtube things like that was literally a link to some bullshit YouTube thing saying Gary Busey had his pants down somewhere that's I don't I'm not I've not been able to confirm that anywhere I don't want to I don't want to put it out there that Gary Busey is is doing bad things unless I've been able to confirm that I will tell you that Gary Busey.com is a fairly slick website it was clearly not designed by Gary Busey oh okay

it's because I would have guessed it would have a real 2001 patina

no it's and and they've they've wisely chosen a number of photos of him where he looks very put together uh doing uh you know different interviews like recently doing different interviews

Also, he is on Cameo, as you will probably not be shocked to hear. He's listed as an actor on Lethal Weapon. He says, I love doing shout-outs for your loved ones. Please book on the Cameo website. And then let's see what he says. I don't. I don't do requests booked on the APP app. Send ideas, and I'll improvise a great message. Okay, whatever that means. I want to see a couple of the things. what Gary Busey is doing for Cameo. Like, if you were to hire... By the way, how much do you think it is to get a personal video from Gary Busey?

How much do I think a video is?

How much is a Cameo from Gary Busey?

You know, I don't know the marketplace for these things. It's been a long time since we've had a conversation like this. But I'm going to say $300. Man, you're pretty close.

$395.

Yeah, okay.

And if you want a personal video chat, it'll be $1,000. But let's see here.

Let me sit here for a message. This is to Rich Smith. also is one and this message has been requested for me to give to you by Javon Merry Christmas yeah I know you've been nice I know you haven't been naughty Christmas is going to be very very good to you now I have a message to tell you you should quit stop playing fantasy football you finished 12th place that's last place in your fantasy league for the second year in a row and you're the commissioner

i'm gonna have to get you this next year like it is listen you guys it's great to be giving

this message because i send my love to you my happiness my celebration of christmas and here's Eve

now here's the thing Andrew at times people have asked us I mean it'd be a very very very niche market right but why are we not on Cameo part of it is because when we do video stuff we like it to just be you know through the TBTL network and I don't know I feel something for me would be a little unseemly about monetizing a 10 wanting us to wish happy birthday to another 10 we do that on the Blur's Day messages whatever I also don't think I could ever do Cameo because I would take every video so seriously unlike most of the people i see on cameo who have not figured out and i don't know how you do this but have not figured out how to not seem like they're reading and not seem like they're just staring at a phone or computer screen that's off camera i would need to build an entire studio where i had some sort of teleprompter that like when i'm doing stuff for cbs at the network they have a camera you know the teleprompter is in front of the camera lens So you look like you're just looking into the camera, but you're reading words. I would need to invest in that because I've watched a lot of cameos over the years. And so much of the time, the person is, again, they're not checked out. But to me, it takes the specialness out of it, like Busey's doing this message. But he's clearly just reading something off a computer screen that's not even near where the camera lens is.

Well, yeah, I mean, it kind of depends. i mean some of the best hey dummies videos we do and that you do are just sort of like in motion somewhere right like you even said that when we did the last the last one there was of course three of us in the jeep and you you just kind of selfie videoed us and that was a lot of fun of course there's three of us which makes it easier but you know like i i don't know i don't think that i don't think that being in a oh i'm gonna say it again anodyne studio environment is

necessarily always going to well not even the studio environment but just like i would be obsessed with coming up with a system where the person who got the message felt like i was looking at them and seeing them and not just had been handed and i understand that you know for some folks i don't know what the demand on the bucey kind of um brand is on cameo but i know for some folks they're just they're doing 20 of these at a time yeah and so they just get you know a stack of papers but also i do wonder like how many requests a week do you think come in for gary and again none of this is to necessarily slam him or anything i'm just i'm genuinely curious about what the demand is for a lot of these people that are on cameo like yeah well how can you can do

they still put the archives up can you sort i mean you just played one but i don't know if it's the complete archives or like how many of these does it look like he cranks out dude you know who i

want to get you he is on here what the hell when you click on actors let me see i'm going to search

for him i want to guess who you'd be so excited about but so far the only clue i have is you're excited uh that doesn't help okay i think you said yeah okay you ready to guess uh yeah can

you give me some sort of a hint or are you just gonna he was on a television show that you and many other people were watching with great interest a prestige television program a prestige oh my gosh, and you say

that I was watching, but you weren't keeping up with, which makes me think we were talking about Noho Hank. Harrigan? Hannigan?

No, no, no, Anthony Carrington? That's what I said. That's not really what I said. That would be amazing. I'll look for him next. Actually, more so than this guy's television work is his voiceover for a major American fast food concern work.

Oh, oh, ba-da-ba-ba-ba. The boy of Azra. And her request is very simple. Very simple indeed. So all I have to say is, Jake, Jake, I love you, but you are not, not a serious person. That's from the show.

It's Brian Cox, of course, who's Logan Roy. Now, the thing is, now it's $689, but think about what we could do. If we need more liners for TBTL, if we booked him doing like basically those McDonald's style things, but about TBTL, that could be pretty, that might be a decent investment of $689.

Yeah, maybe. We'll talk to John about that.

Roy, and if you want me, I will tell you to fuck off in a very uncertain manner. Okay? So have fun and get in touch.

So he's doing the voice there. Fuck off.

I see. Okay, he's doing his Logan Roy voice. Yeah, I think, did I hear him identify himself as that in that one? He did, yeah. The videos are kind of difficult to activate because they're automatically muted. Yeah, yeah. Like, you can't get that, you can't scrub back to the beginning. It's like a very annoying part of some of these app platforms. But, I mean, this is what always comes up when the topic of Cameo comes up on our program, for me anyway, which is, like, I wonder, I sort of wonder what the reasoning for Brian Cox is. And again, Brian Cox is having an incredibly successful time as an actor, and I'm sure he is making boatloads of money off those McDonald's ads. Brian Cox is not suffering. He actually wrote a book that sounded really interesting, too. I heard him on Fresh Air talking about it. So it's like for Brian Cox, is it just that somebody came to him and said, hey, man, for about an hour a week out of your life, this is what we project you can generate. And who wouldn't want to make an extra couple hundred grand a year for an hour a week? So, like, maybe that's the sales pitch. i'll either i feel like the people i see on cameo are either i'm thinking why are you on here what makes you think people actually want your like what makes you think that people are actually going to request you or why are you on here you're making so much money in your regular life what in

the heck is the upside for you of doing this yeah the brian cox's of the world doing cameo is the interesting thing i mean there must be you know i mean there's a price and then like you said you do the math and you're like well this could this could you know get you out of a few jams i guess but you're right it seems like the work is sort of for lack of a better word sort of tedious and so small bore sort of um to rack this many up but maybe it's maybe it is enjoyable like i could see having some enjoyment about around doing it like i'm with you that like i don't i don't think it would be super seemly for you and i can you say seemly as opposed to can seemly but like for you and i to just do it via the cameo app although i do often wonder if at some point you know as a as a fundraising mechanism could we create our own tbtl cameo thing where we kind of create our own platform and provide it for listeners but you're right it gets a little bit complicated because we're already giving well wishes to folks and there's the dazzling donors where we think or we read people's messages on the air who donate at a certain level so anyway it gets kind of wrapped up in that but i could actually see myself you're probably not surprised to hear this not even so much from the um i think you're more of a showman than i am obviously i didn't i i probably wouldn't do all of the things you described before like doing you didn't do a somersault while trying to catch a baseball yeah exactly but um but i could see myself really like saying okay today's wednesday i'm gonna i'm gonna do like 20 of these things and like sort of and i do think that i would put some care into making them making them personalized and not totally stumbly and bumbly and like shoot you know totally just sort of um uh what's the word i'm looking for phoning it in and barely reading it or whatever you know who i bet you is making some pretty good

money on this and i bet you there's a bunch of other people that are in this category is a guy named ruben rabasa who you may recognize andrew as this guy let me just uh let's see

The man, the legend, the guy with all the great ideas, Ruben Robasa. Your friend Taylor say you are having trouble coming up with ideas for your clients. You remind me of a guy called Paul, okay? But don't worry, me and Tyler are here to help. Here is an idea. How about you run and ask... that when you click it, the website doesn't break. I think that is a good idea.

But when you click it, the website doesn't break. I think that's a good idea. Actually, that's kind of funny. That's pretty funny.

Can we break this down for a second? Because I'm looking up now whether or not Anthony Kerrigan does Cameo.

And it occurred to me. By the way, you said, I think I got his name wrong. I think I thought his name was Carrington.

Oh, I just looked it up, which is why I have it in front of me. But my point is, in a certain way, I hope that I can't explain it. Like, in a certain way, I hope the answer is no. I don't want Anthony Kerrigan just doing no ho Hank imitations for people on Cameo. And in a certain way, I almost feel that way about Brian Cox as well. Like him just doing Logan Roy and doing the lines, the you're, you know, you're what was the line before other than fuck off. He also says you're I don't know. I'm the wrong person. he says it to his children it's so cutting and we just heard him say it a moment ago but anyway um you're not serious people um but anyway like in a certain way the guy that you're playing right now what's his name the stinky guy from i think you should leave ramon rodever yeah i'm already on another screen okay like not to be condescending but he kind of is famous for one very small thing and he's trying to parlay that into you know as well he should and he's so so he's leaning kind of on that one joke and doing a bunch of different versions of it for people who want to send him a few hundred bucks and like if he's making money off it that's good but for the people in the higher echelons of especially that level of television we're talking about hbo it's not even tv luke it's max um but like it doesn't work for like the phrase anymore like no ho hank is a character that is very silly and fun and funny but also as you watch the show has a lot of trauma surrounding him and all these nuances and all these things and so like i would be kind of bummed if i could just go onto cameo and just see anthony kerrigan saying like oh andrew you're super silly today or whatever that's a terrible no ho hank but like that would kind of lessen the whole i don't know

the whole legacy of no ho hank for me well and also it would in a way that that actor anthony uh kerrigan who is um who's clearly a talented person and i bet you could play a lot of different roles i mean we know him for noho hank once he is doing like i would like him to get more roles i would like him to get to do a lot of different things and not become like uh um who's who's an example of this like um you know an actor who was in a sitcom and they're just kind of known for like Their catchphrase Or whatever Once that happens Once he's fully subsumed And defined by the no-ho-hank thing He's showing up at a Comic-Con As a hologram in 20 years Because I assume that's how that'll work And just saying a no-ho-hank catchphrase No offense, but the guy from I think you should leave Is going to be probably saying A steering wheel that wheefs out of the car And that's great It's great that he can make a living off of that probably the guy that plays Santa on I Think You Should Leave is probably somewhere saying it's a cosmic gumbo or whatever and I'm not trying to say those people are less talented I just haven't seen a lot from them that tells me that they have a wide range outside of this one thing where they were sort of they were cast to do this thing where the writing and the weirdness around them really kind of helped highlight what they were doing and I don't know if we're going to see like 10 different amazing surprising characters coming out of the you have no good car ideas guy so it's good for him but for somebody else who might have a wider range to see them get kind of pigeonholed I said that because I just watched a pigeon land on a power line Andrew do you know I do that so much more than I realize which is I'm talking to you I'm staring at things you know me I love to stare and then something that enters my field of vision becomes a word that I'm saying to you but it was

appropriate in that case it worked yeah thankfully um yeah i this this first of all might not be the right parallel for you're trying to think of an example of somebody who maybe has more range a little bit more depth or or or potentially but then 20 years 30 years down the line it's still just stuck and i i don't know if this is fair and this will just lead us to another like probably disrespectful rant but like maybe dana carvey is that like dana carvey who even though i haven't watched the documentary or that about the show or the show itself but i know that like that that ill-fated show that he made was is much celebrated by comedians that we love and it's like that there was something real there for dana carvey but like if you hear um well i can't remember if they brought him back for some national commercial campaign or if he was just touring and i heard one of those you know oh i'm sure it's one

One of those EQC coming to the event center, Dana. carvey that level yeah but like but basically like the jokes are still uh the church lady which i know you and i can go on our whole thing about the church lady being overrated i don't want to just you know poo on that if other people like it but just generally done enough this weekend yeah do do duty full shop um i i uh anyway like criticizing dana carvey's comedy and those are the kind of jokes we're making on this yeah right right exactly uh fair enough but anyway you know what I mean but like to just hear that guy still dragging out 30 35 years later just like what was the church lady's catchphrase it wasn't isn't that special yeah right and you just hear

that you're like oh god it's so cringy or isn't that wasn't it could it be satan right yeah um I also by the way have now found I don't think she's going to hear this although I did get a text from my mom yesterday I'm going to read it to you real quick and then we got to get out of here I got a text from my mom yesterday and everybody got to hear so much of my mom on the show last week i think we can all imagine her exact voice as she says this to me um or she texts this to me luke exclamation point i wanted to start listening to tbtl but couldn't seem to get it walk me through it please did you so not yet but i was going to but i'm not going to tell her until like maybe a few days from now so this won't get on the air because i don't want her i don't want the surprise to be ruined but i just noticed you know who is on cameo john boy walton oh my goodness gracious what an amazing birthday present for her she would lose it if i get

and and he looks can i ask uh can i ask that's gonna set you back uh it's gonna cost oh this

is interesting it's gonna cost 110 bucks but also if you want to message him it's five dollars how does that work and is that normal like it just says there's these two there's these two kind of bubbles not unlike the the the ovals that we have at tbtl.net for getting tickets to the 4000th or back when the thon was happening just like that but one says book a personal video 110 dollars and one says message five dollars is that five dollars to message with john boy walton yeah you

would seem that that would be a more well i guess you're just text messaging so you're not getting video yeah i don't know how this works it almost seems like it wouldn't that almost have more value to it like hey i can bro down in a way or is it a bot yeah that's true too yeah but like but like

that would be i mean see that's like the perfect i think the perfect use of cameo my mother in fact even while we were broadcasting my parents basement last week we could hear sometimes the sounds of an episode of the waltons kind of wafting its way down to where we were my mom and she only wants to watch uh waltons that have john boy in them yeah so to get john boy walton saying happy birthday Susie like that, I mean that's a really good use

of this platform. She would watch it how many times do you think she'd watch it? She'd watch it over and over

again. Well she would watch it once and then I'd get a message from the next day, how do I download Cameo? Alright I really am obsessed I mean I'm not obsessed with Cameo in that I look at it very often but once I look at it, there goes the rest of my day it's just because it's just so many people on here that I'm like oh Joe Pantoliano is on what's his name from The Sopranos Joey Pants I forget what his character's name was but like just and then each person then what I want to do is I want to go to their actual cameo page and see how serious they're taking the cameo if they're doing a good job or not and again it's not like it's not just being judgy it's like how much are they charging and do they have a lot of proof of concept are a lot of people ordering this like it is maybe part of it is because it feels to a degree like a very a distillation andrew of what you and i are doing here which is hopefully the people that listen to the show find us moderately entertaining enough that they want to donate to the show and that they want to like download this thing and listen to it five days a week and and that's based on this idea that we are inherently interesting people on some level or likable or relatable or something's going on this is that but even more distilled this is not a show this is just do you like me do you like a thing i did would you like to pay me to talk to you yeah so it really it's sort of i don't know i i just i really could scroll through cameo for days on end just trying to analyze what's going on for folks also turns out there's a brisk trade in little house on the prairie characters i mean john boy would be were michael landon still alive a i promise you he would be on cameo right now yeah And that would be the ultimate, but maybe just after Michael Landon would be John Boy Walton for my mother.

Is his partner from Highway to Heaven and, I guess, Little House, is he still with us?

Vincent what? Vincent something or other was the name of, oh God, I loved that guy. Jonathan, his name was Jonathan, I think, on Highway to Heaven. Yeah, that rings a bell.

Yeah. Anyway. All right. Well, we'll look it up, and then we'll tell you tomorrow.

I'm glad I was able to guide us to kind of a nice strong ending there. I thought you were Googling it while I was stalling. No, I was staring in the middle distance. That's why I said middle distance. I say the things I'm staring at.

Let's see here. What's his name? No. Sorry, Andrew. We have to do this. All right. Highway to Heaven to Heaven cast. listeners are throwing their phones Victor French Victor French that name was Mark Gordon and Michael Land his name was Jonathan Smith okay and status with us Victor French I'd be surprised I don't want to yep uh passed away in 1989 okay so rest in peace old man Tucker was a fine old man washed his face in a frying pan anyway all right uh that's gonna do it for today's episode but I have great news we're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you in the meantime have a great wednesday take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck

to all slow down with your talking don't make it an interview talk to me like you're personal like you don't interrupt me you know wait you got to get my attention before you ask me the question i'm giving you a scenario here you know give me something to work with don't just shoot The question's at me. I can't do it.

Power out.