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#3996 Chuck Close For Comfort
TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#3996 Chuck Close For Comfort

from TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

July 26, 2023 | 01:08:02 | Leisure, Comedy

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Luke and Andrew have important sartorial questions about their upcoming live show in Seattle. Plus, the New York Times tells the fascinating tale of a drug-loving dog walker who may (or may not)  own a valuable painting.
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Transcript

00:00:00 - 00:00:05 | Speaker 1:

Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone.

00:00:30 - 00:00:31 | Speaker 3:

playing with the yo-yo-yo.

00:00:31 - 00:01:01 | Speaker 5:

Do-do-do-da-ba-ba-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

00:01:01 - 00:01:15 | Speaker 8:

seem like a real, real down-to-earth dude. Implicitly. You could absolutely implicitly trust me. I'm going to bring 110% to the table on a daily basis. So one thing I would do is like

00:01:15 - 00:01:25 | Speaker 3:

this. Okay, that's great. I love you. Oh my God, with your cheekbones and your guitar played and it's all very, very attractive and very, very talented. Sweetie, have a good show. What you do

00:01:25 - 00:03:05 | Speaker 6:

is so important. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Memories are made in your mouth. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. In case you're wondering what's going on here, I'm having an absolutely fabulous time. Coming to you once again from the Playa del rey neighborhood of very sunny los angeles california it's like i'm walking on sunshine where in a matter of i don't know a couple of hours i will be repelling off of in front of the h in the hollywood sign working on a tv story about the 100th anniversary of the hollywood sign and today we're gonna go up onto the hill up to an area you're not really usually allowed to go where apparently we have to wear some sort of ropes because it's dangerous and then stand in front of the H and then film in the blistering San Fernando Valley sun. It's going to be warm and sweaty and stanky. There's some stank. Thankfully, it's nice and climate controlled here in my hotel room as I am presenting to you. Episode 3996 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. Saw a great story in the New York Times yesterday. It's a beautiful story. I love your story. About a painting that may or may not have been painted by a pretty famous artist whose art sells for a lot of money.

00:03:05 - 00:03:10 | Speaker 2:

For me to be able to condone that my artism is bigger than that.

00:03:11 - 00:03:12 | Speaker 6:

The story also involves a dog walker.

00:03:12 - 00:03:14 | Speaker 4:

I say, what's up, dog?

00:03:14 - 00:03:42 | Speaker 6:

And a very irascible lawyer. So we'll get into that, plus emails and V-mails. Oh, and speaking of artists, this man is a true artiste when he's serving as the longest-running cobro of the show. He's also potentially best known for his drawings of the tall ships, their grace and their splendor, and all that intricate rigging. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

00:03:42 - 00:03:53 | Speaker 7:

There's no reason you should have known this, but you could have also introduced me as a fella whose tummy is full with a McGriddle this morning. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's a rare situation for me.

00:03:54 - 00:04:24 | Speaker 6:

Hold on one second. Now I got your attention. 3,995 episodes. I'm going to give this McGriddle some time to digest. That is the sound of it digesting, by the way. That's not your typical move. What had you going to, I'm trying to do a Brian Cox impression, but it's not working. Anyway, why in the heck fire were you eating a McGriddle this morning?

00:04:24 - 00:05:00 | Speaker 7:

I'm watching our friend's cat again this week, so I'm driving over to the Northgate area, which means I passed this McDonald's. As a matter of fact, I mean, maybe this is the real story here. I open up this microphone quite a bit and say things like, It's very rare that I eat fast food, and it's even way rarer that I eat fast food breakfast. Luke, this is the second fast food breakfast I've had in two days. You know what? And you know what else? I passed, by the way. On the way to my friend's house, I go one route, and I come back a different route. I kind of make a big circle for reasons. And yesterday...

00:05:00 - 00:05:31 | Speaker 2:

passing the Chick-fil-A, and I was really hungry. I'm like, ooh, I'll get one of those breakfast sandwiches that Genevieve talks about from her youth of eating Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwiches. Had my first one. It was very good. And then today I'm driving back, and I'm passing the McDonald's, and I'm looking at the clock, and I'm like, I got 15 minutes before I have to dial up with Luke. Maybe I'll swing in there. Even though you can't really swing in that McDonald's, it's like one of those it's a terrible corner where you have to kind of like turn around in a gas station because of a divided road. It's just like the bladiest of sort of like suburban.

00:05:31 - 00:05:43 | Speaker 1:

It's the worst. It's some of the worst urban design you'll find. And it's nice that the gas station has a Starbucks built into it. So there's just a whole. Yeah, the whole thing. There's a whole situation there as well.

00:05:43 - 00:06:29 | Speaker 2:

It is a situation. But I was going to say, you know what else I pass, by the way, on this circuitous route is my gym. I have not been tempted. I have not been as tempted to go into the gym as I have been tempted to pull into the drive-thrus. And by the way, yes, I utilized the drive-thru. Wow. Two days in a row, Luke. No incidents. No incidents at all. I didn't make a fool of myself. I didn't... Did I tell you about the time Veeves and I tried to go through a drive-thru last summer at a Dairy Queen, and I got to the final window to get our... Well, I thought to place my order, but my order wasn't placed because I apparently just passed the first window. So, like, I create havoc in drive-thrus, which is why I'm scared of them. But two days in a row. You're the Carl Havoc.

00:06:29 - 00:06:30 | Speaker 1:

You don't want to be around anymore.

00:06:30 - 00:06:41 | Speaker 2:

It is true, yeah. So anyway, that's the energy I'm coming with today. Sort of a level of sort of fast food suburban blight shame.

00:06:41 - 00:07:49 | Speaker 1:

Sure, you've got hundreds if not thousands of calories of super processed food fueling the engine that is the Andrew Walsh machine. I was going to say those really are sort of crimes of opportunity. Like that's what they call those in law enforcement Like it isn't that you wanted to go Like you know steal someone's backpack But you just saw it sitting there You had the opportunity and so you nicked it This is like you didn't get up this morning I don't think anyway Thinking I would like to have a McGriddle But there it was And who were you to say no to that siren song Now I have a more important question About our quote unquote Friends who are Quote unquote out of town I'm guessing I know the friends you're talking about We're having the 4000th episode on Saturday I invited said friends One of said friends So called former friends Said something like Well I'm sorry but that's just the biggest Boxing match in 20 years Are said friends in like Las Vegas or something watching The boxing match Oh my gosh if you're insulted already

00:07:49 - 00:08:18 | Speaker 2:

Buckle up my friends they are they are in vegas right now but they i i it is my understanding they are not in vegas to watch that fight this weekend they will be returning home on friday the day before the tbtl 4000th episode i believe said friends are going to be watching the game locally here in town as opposed to attending the premier podcast event of the season exactly what is

00:08:18 - 00:08:20 | Speaker 1:

the other counter-programming we're going up against

00:08:20 - 00:08:40 | Speaker 2:

Saturday night? Oh, everything. There's Timberfest, there's Boy Genius playing out in the gorge. Like, literally our dear friend and former boss, Steve Nelson, is in the area. I'm like, oh my gosh, you have to come to the 4,000th episode. He said, well, I'm in town to see Boy Genius. And I said, you're dead to me, friend. Oh, dead to me. Yeah, exactly.

00:08:41 - 00:09:00 | Speaker 1:

So, okay. All right. So, it's a miracle anyone's coming out to our show on Saturday night, let's be honest, considering all of the considering all of the competition on a you'd think you know it's oh and also i noticed today because many people uh many many people and very strongly andrew have been sending me pictures of

00:09:00 - 00:09:09 | Speaker 2:

the marquee at the neptune theater oh cool i've only seen one and it was that sort of sad one because the entire road in front of it was closed down with construction oh yeah no that remains the

00:09:09 - 00:11:17 | Speaker 1:

case i believe no fantastic yeah i mean we really picked it let's try to go up against every other thing that's interesting to our demographic and let's try to do it on a weekend when the entirety of 45th street in front of the theater is just a giant like i'm waiting for a ninja turtle to climb out of whatever that hole is in the road in front of it like talk about the non-ideal timing that being said if you don't focus so much on that but you you lift your gaze to the to the marquee it is pretty cool that it says tbtl 4000th episode i just got one from my good friend arvid hokinson oh yeah k-u-o-w aka arvid smokinson and he see arvid is a media professional so he knew to crop out the construction in the photo that's a boy nice so it just looks real nice who is the who sent who sent us oh david from the basement right sent us the other one Former radio professional, I mean, still current, I think, radio employee, but David, we caught him slipping because he included, I'm not even kidding when I say, when I saw that construction, I was like, oh, really? I mean, I know the point was we're on the marquee. That's the important thing. But I was like, of all the weeks, of all the weeks for them to have just completely, now, this isn't going to, this will not impact the show. This will not impact the fun that it's had inside the Neptune. But again, I would say a not insignificant percentage of the fun of doing a big theater show like we're doing at a legit theater like the Neptune is kind of the I don't know if I would call it the sort of pomp and ceremony around it. Like, you know, in years past, I don't know if it'll happen this year, but in years past, they made a big poster, big giant poster for us. That's kind of fun. Like when you're entering the theater, there's some TBTL posters. And then again, you know, having our name up there, our sign, it's kind of the like, yeah, just the trappings of the event is kind of fun. And like, you know, right before the doors open, usually there's a little bit of a line. That's more just because, you know, people like to get there early than like we're the Beatles. But it's fun to see people lined up in front of the theater. There's all that little stuff that goes on. And somehow the visual of a giant hole in the ground with like just like an earth mover that's just parked there.

00:11:18 - 00:11:31 | Speaker 2:

Do you think that that is going to be the case still? on saturday or does that not even matter to you just like the week leading up to it that that's kind of messed up the visuals of the marquee and it has less foot traffic there well i would be if

00:11:31 - 00:11:49 | Speaker 1:

i know anything about municipal projects it's that they usually are wrapped in about probably four to five hours um i would be shocked if a hole in the ground that big is fixed and there's no evidence of it by saturday but maybe because 45th is a really busy street so maybe there's a certain

00:11:49 - 00:13:23 | Speaker 2:

amount of pressure to like get in get out yeah for sure can i mention i'm hoping one thing that i wanted to say and this is getting really into the details of david's photo that he sent to the text chain um i mean we are really really digging into the nitty-gritty here but the thing that i one detail that i took away from it that i found interesting was david also accidentally captured a pedestrian in that photo right who's kind of standing kind of below the marquee but kind of to the side of it as well and that person is only there because he was accidentally caught in the frame right but if you look closely at that person i am not right now but this is my memory of this photo i saw the other day that person is sort of looking up at the marquee which is kind of interesting but clearly what's going on there and this is something that's in kind of in my head a lot when I see people taking photos, and I don't know if I'm in it or not, is that person is looking to see what David is taking a photo of. And there's something very human about that. When you see somebody looking up, whether they're taking a photo, or if they have binoculars on, like one woman who walks in our neighborhood, I'm assuming looking at birds, or birds nests, or sometimes even not with anything, but just standing there, looking up, everybody will start to look up to Like, what are you looking at? What are you taking a photo of? What is this curiosity? And it was interesting to see this rando pedestrian. What the heck is that? Exactly. Kind of being like, oh, what's he taking a photo of? And maybe that person is now thinking, I don't know what a TBTL is, but I think I'm a 10.

00:13:24 - 00:13:33 | Speaker 1:

I think they're thinking, gosh, I would go to this show, but if they book them on the weekend where they've torn up the entire street, it can't be. It can't be great. It can't be much of a production. By the way.

00:13:33 - 00:13:35 | Speaker 2:

Boy Genius instead is what that person is thinking.

00:13:35 - 00:14:36 | Speaker 1:

I'm trying to I'm analyzing this photo like I'm in one of those one of those true crime, one of those procedurals, you know, that we that we love so much on the network television. I am I I can't tell. So there is a giant, giant industrial piece of industrial equipment, a cat that's got one of those big scoopers on it. and it's on treads and it is like there's a big there's a barrier that says road closed and one of the road closed signs is covered in graffiti which is a good sign i'll explain in a minute andrew i'm trying to figure out if they're just wrapping this project up or if it's just starting because with a piece of construction equipment or a piece of i don't know what you'd call this earth moving equipment this big they're digging this street up or they just finished digging the street up and they just haven't moved it yet and i i'm trying to look i'm trying to look at the actual pavement yeah zoom in on the pavement underneath that cat looks pretty new right

00:14:36 - 00:14:46 | Speaker 2:

right yeah i don't actually that's a good sign here i see earth moving equipment and i see cones but i don't see a hole in the ground unless you've seen that in other photos i think you know what i

00:14:46 - 00:15:00 | Speaker 1:

mandela'd that i think i just assumed because of that machinery but here's now let's get to this Do you see a Berenstain bear? Wait a second. It has sunglasses on. So if you look over at the road closed sign, and then there's another.

00:15:00 - 00:15:37 | Speaker 2:

one next to it it's just absolutely covered in graffiti and i think that's a positive yeah i know because they would never they're not going to like go get that out of the warehouse wherever they keep these things and go yeah this will work and bring it out and put it up that means that thing's been out there for a long time that's it's been there long enough that some ne'er-do-well possible university of washington students tagged it um and that's good because that speaks to the duration of this project which means maybe by saturday night andrew when we uh triumphantly enter the neptune theater uh there will uh be no construction equipment in front of it and we'll

00:15:37 - 00:16:11 | Speaker 1:

get the full visual when we trip the light blurs tastic i just came up with that wait does that phrase mean what i think it well not that phrase but tripping dancing trip the live fantastic that means dancing yes i believe i say light yeah i'm sorry i knew it was light and i said live I believe Paul McCartney has a live album called Tripping the Live Fantastic. I could be wrong about that. Oh, okay. That's clever. And I think it's based on that. The first concert I ever went to was in Cleveland on that tour, I think, that Paul McCartney tour. But does that mean dancing or does it just mean doing anything on stage, Tripping the Light Fantastic?

00:16:12 - 00:17:54 | Speaker 2:

I've only known Tripping the Light Fantastic to mean dancing. I think there's even a song that says we're going to trip the light fantastic. I think that might be maybe the origin of it, or maybe the song is referencing the phrase. But I remain hopeful that Saturday night, as we all, again, we all converge on the Neptune Theater for the 4,000th episode, all of that visual crapola will be gone from the frame. And I'll be able to stand across the street there at the intersection of Brooklyn and 45th and gaze upon, really, our hard work, Andrew, our 4,000 episodes of hard work. Speaking of which, you and John and I have been kind of putting together some of the content side of the plan for the 4,000th. And last night here at the hotel, I had occasion to just kind of like start digging through some old TBTL stuff, mostly by way of the internet, trying to find some old photos. And by the way, if anyone has photos from the TBTL prom, if anyone just has, if you just have good archival TBTL photos from the prom, from maybe the last radio show, from the boat show that we just did, like any, I don't know, just like if you're hearing my voice and if you have been to some TBTL events over the years and you've had some pictures that you think are fun, maybe send them our way. Maybe send them, you know, yes, send them to me. I'm going to do it. I'm going to actually take on one piece of responsibility in this project. Send them to Luke at tbtl.net and just put photos in the subject line. I don't know what we'll do with them, but we're trying to kind of amass some things. And maybe we can put a little montage together or something. But the point is.

00:17:54 - 00:19:09 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is going to be fun, whether there's a hole in the ground in front of it or not. I did tell you that they're doing construction on the sewer system, so there will be no bathrooms in the venue, right? No, just kidding, everybody. I'm just joking. I'm just joking. But I do actually, while we're here, Luke, talking about Saturday night's activities, I'm going to broach a conversation. I'm going to broach a subject with you right here that I was going to have with you off air, but it might make some interesting on air content. It's not controversial, but I do want you to be honest with me. And so now here in front of the court of our listeners, in front of the jury of our listeners, we're going to be listening for the tone of your voice to see if you hesitate here. I don't know exactly what I'm going to be wearing on stage, but probably, you know, something that is casual but not overly frumpy. But one thing that I tend to go to when I'm in that mode is this blue jacket I have. It's kind of like a it's not a formal jacket, but it's kind of like it's like a casual jacket that I can put on over a shirt. But it's kind of one of the only, not even nice, but one of the things that I can wear that I'm comfortable in in a situation like this. Is that going to be a problem for you? Because I know that you're somebody who has jackets that you wear. Like, were you planning on wearing a blue jacket on stage? And is there going to be a problem if we're both wearing blue jackets but not coordinating?

00:19:10 - 00:19:44 | Speaker 2:

I'm planning on wearing a tuxedo. In fact, I think I'm planning on wearing the tuxedo I wore for the 2000 episode. If it fits. And that's a real, that's a legitimate question. So Becca is coming up on Saturday from Portland. I'm heading directly from here to Seattle. And the tuxedo is in, like it was dry cleaned at some point and is still in the plastic. And I asked Becca, I said, could you, would you mind driving this up from Portland? She said, no problem. And I thought, boy, I guess I'm going to find out on Saturday if I could fit into it. But that's the plan.

00:19:45 - 00:19:49 | Speaker 1:

First of all, you should UPS that tuxedo in all wardrobe considerations.

00:19:49 - 00:19:54 | Speaker 2:

Hey, by the way, do you think I ever got my $100 of insurance money from that godforsaken company?

00:19:55 - 00:20:13 | Speaker 1:

I assume not after they lost all of your other suits. What is your backup? But anyway. Well, you now know my intention, so it sounds like you don't foresee any issues. I'm not wearing a blue jacket. Okay, gotcha. Okay, because I believe you have a blue jacket. I feel like there is a moment in our lives where— You mean navy? Is it navy blue? Yeah, it's like navy blue. Yeah.

00:20:13 - 00:20:55 | Speaker 2:

Oh, well, you've got to put navy in there, dude. And blue, I thought it was going to be like electric blue. Oh, wow. Well, you know me well. It's pink. It's electric blue and pink. it's do am i am i am i hallucinating or does steve martin in the movie my blue heaven also wear an electric blue like suit or do i just am i mandela yet silver no i feel like he's wearing a very loud suit at some point but i also think maybe just because the movie's called my blue heaven i have i've i've invented that in my brain i feel like he has a shimmery like a shimmery blue like suit on one time that almost seems like it's made out of some kind of space age fabric or

00:20:55 - 00:21:35 | Speaker 1:

something he might i will tell you this as i google my blue heaven i get three relevant photos that pop up right away uh the first one is the cover and i would have guessed he was wearing a blue jacket in that or a silver jacket and that he is not he's wearing actually a almost a shimmery um kind of red almost a maroon jacket while he's standing in front of a blue sky with rick moranis oh he's hilarious dog um it looks like in a couple of other scenes he is uh wearing a very kind of loud blue, but plaid jacket, which I actually really like, although my body type doesn't really go for that kind of pattern. And then another one he's wearing a more traditional but somewhat flashy gray suit jacket. I'm not seeing the blue that you're... I think what it is,

00:21:35 - 00:22:35 | Speaker 2:

I think he's wearing, I think what I'm thinking of is the red shimmery one that he's wearing, but because it's called My Blue Heaven, because yeah, that's exactly, I'm looking at the thing now, because you can see that that suit that he's wearing with Rick Moranis is very, it's got some kind of I don't know space age polymer woven into it so that it it glows but it's not blue I think because of the name my blue anyway I thought you were gonna wear that jacket you're not you're wearing a navy blue jacket I'll be wearing probably a black tuxedo or if that does not if my body no longer allows for that uh I'll figure something out I'll I'll uh I'll head to the J.Crew in University Village and okay and sort it out on Saturday while you and John are trying to figure out how to make all the technical stuff work i'll um just be i'll be am i i'll be pulling a real a real suzy burbank when our family was trying to go on camping trips and she would just be completely gone until it'd be like four would be like sitting in the van with it all packed where were you and she's like i'll say what's up it was garage sailing um i'll be that when on

00:22:35 - 00:22:50 | Speaker 1:

saturday if i if i can't fit into my tux in these in this case that you're in this scenario that you're describing which i assume has some basis in reality was your mom garage selling for things related to the camping trip or it just was of course not garage sale i mean okay i mean i mean

00:22:50 - 00:23:50 | Speaker 2:

allegedly sure like she'd be like i got this um uh you know i got this lemonade pitcher or something like she would sometimes present something that was you know kind of i got this tablecloth like something that could be conceivably related to the camping trip but what it was was and i sort of don't blame her because again i got all pretty much everything about me as a reflection as people learned during the last thon week when my mom made frequent appearances on the program i'm basically susie jr but uh i think it was that it was just very overwhelming to try to pack up you know between five and seven children and a whole household to go camping for two weeks and so uh it would be like well i better go get that one thing we've been waiting for been needing And then it'd be like, you know, hours later after poor Walt had like loaded the whole van and gotten all the kids ship shape and all made everyone pack their stuff. Then it was, you know, then my mom would reappear. But I kind of get it. And that is my plan for Saturday is my point.

00:23:50 - 00:24:04 | Speaker 1:

OK, good to go garage sailing, looking for an alternative to the tuxedo. And all they have all the hard work. All they have are somewhat frumpy blue jackets. Like, all right, well, this is what we got. This is what we got to do. I will say this about I'm being serious, though.

00:24:04 - 00:24:28 | Speaker 2:

Do you say, this sounds like I'm nitpicking or like I'm trying to drill down. Maybe it's just me. I feel like I've never described the color navy blue without saying navy. Because navy blue is kind of close to black. Blue is like the color of the sky. I'm being totally serious now when I say when you said blue jacket, I was like, oh, Andrew has a blue jacket. Interesting.

00:24:28 - 00:24:32 | Speaker 1:

Like I was going to be on SportsCenter or College Game Day or something like that?

00:24:32 - 00:25:02 | Speaker 2:

Something like that. just kind of and actually I'm gonna be I'm gonna be very honest with you I thought that sounds really nice on Andrew you have you have very nice eyes I I had it completely pictured you in kind of a not not baby blue that would be a stretch but like something between navy and baby blue was what I was picturing you in and I thought that would be a really nice color on Andrew that was totally where my brain was and then now then I realized when you said oh we both have the same color jacket I was like oh probably

00:25:00 - 00:25:12 | Speaker 1:

Probably because navy blue, like pretty much everything I own is either navy blue or black. But I think you should consider a like not baby blue, but a lighter blue at some point. I think that as I've imagined it now, Andrew, it looks really nice on.

00:25:12 - 00:27:17 | Speaker 2:

Well, thank you. If it comes into my life, I would not I wouldn't be mad at that. Depending on, you know, what it what it looked like hanging, hanging off of these here bones and meat. That's how I that's how I refer to myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So but but it is like I keep on saying frumpy. It's like I actually like this jacket, but it's a very comfortable jacket. It is not what I'm what I am describing is not formal wear. You will see that I will you know, I'm not a I am not somebody who unfortunately puts a lot of thought into clothes ahead of time. And in this case, I'm like, oh, I need to be thinking about this a little bit, but I can't be going. I have too much shit on my plate. I can't be going shopping right now for special clothes. Also, that's never really fun for me. I want to see if there's anything at the garage sale. Do let me know about. Oh, that's what I was going to say before. Or, you know, your mom, like, disappearing to a garage sale for a few hours before the camping trip. I will say, like, that's not my vibe. But, you know, when I'm winding down my days here on this earth, Luke, and I don't know if this is where you thought I was going to be taking this. But, you know, the classic scenario of you're in your final moments and you may have some regrets that you air out. Like, I wish I hadn't worked so much. Or maybe in my case, I wish I'd worked more. Or I, you know, I wish I had been kinder or whatever. I think the one big regret I will have is that I didn't go to more garage sales and flea markets because I love them, but I never go. I think I'm I think, you know, these things usually take place earlier on a Saturday and maybe I just am in a habit of sleeping too late. I don't prioritize it. I don't know about them. But the joy that I get from going to a garage sale or a flea market or just spending an afternoon exploring other people's stuff and maybe picking up a little of this and a little of that throughout the day, it brings me absolute joy. So when you said that, like Susie's at the garage sale, I'm like, wow, that's good for Susie. That's great. Maybe that's her happy place. Maybe that's how she centers herself before she leads a family into a camping expedition. But then I'm like, why don't I do it more if I know it brings me so much joy?

00:27:18 - 00:28:18 | Speaker 1:

I sort of feel the same way in that when I'm wandering around a garage sale or a rummage sale or whatever, I'm having like serotonin is being released in my brain. It's a good feeling because there's a little bit of kind of – there's a treasure hunt aspect. There's a kind of a gambling like, ooh, what's behind – is it going to come up triple cherries? Like am I going to find something that I've been looking for or wanting, some kind of older – Because for me, what's interesting about garage sales and stuff is not a shirt that was sold four years ago. It's a shirt that was sold 40 years ago or a pot or something. Oh, is there a Le Creuset pot here or something? I do like that kind of treasure hunt aspect. I also do not ever go to garage sales. And I think it's totally because everything I wore growing up was from a garage sale. Every piece of food that was cooked in our house was cooked in something that was bought at a garage sale and then served on something that was bought at a rummage sale.

00:28:19 - 00:28:21 | Speaker 2:

The food itself was bought at a garage sale.

00:28:21 - 00:28:42 | Speaker 1:

I mean, if they would have sold food at garage sales, absolutely. And so I think I've kind of developed slightly – it's not even a negative association. association it's that uh as like um as uh what's it rachel evan wood says in uh in um oh phooey

00:28:42 - 00:28:55 | Speaker 2:

that didn't look like anything to me oh oh oh right um ah you put it in my brain uh the cowboy movie cowboy robots yes west world that's right west world yes hey we got there west world um

00:28:55 - 00:29:59 | Speaker 1:

as as she says in west world that doesn't look like anything to me that's really what it is with me in garage sales it's not that i don't have fun when i'm there i totally do but i just when i see a sign from no part of me goes i better go check that out because i think i have somewhere this like deep set antipathy towards them and also i'll be honest with you my mom acquires a lot of things at garage sales that she then does not necessarily get a ton of use out of that's the that's the thing yeah and i think particularly in this in this moment of my life where i'm like about to move again. And the place I'm moving into currently does not have, like, I haven't even figured out where the closets are going to be built. Like it's, there's nowhere to put anything really the idea of like finding something cool at a garage sale. And then like, where's it going to go? What I would really like is if I had my whole house all kind of set up. And then I was one of those things where I was like, you know, it would be cool. I need an, I need a, I'll just keep going back to this. I need a decent, you know, like Dutch oven or something. And then I just kind of go on the hunt for it. I don't go buy a cheapo one at, you know.

00:30:00 - 00:30:32 | Speaker 2:

the ghost of bed bath and beyond or something i just like have it in my mind and i just on my list and i just if i see something that's nice if i see a nice like late crusade dutch oven or something cast iron i'll grab it and then finally i'm at a garage sale that magical like a state sale where someone had really good taste um and then you walk in and there it is glowing like marcellus wallace's soul in pulp fiction and uh that would be a great feeling to find the thing I wanted to find when I had a place to put it and a use for it that would be like chef's kiss

00:30:32 - 00:30:50 | Speaker 1:

let me ask you a personal question that I was wondering about the other day when you're when your new home popped up on the show because you mentioned the other day that you know for folks who don't know right now you are you've been living in Portland in an apartment that you've been renting and you've been doing that now for it's been a while it has it been three

00:30:50 - 00:30:54 | Speaker 2:

years now Luke well I've been in Portland for three years I would been in two different yeah

00:30:54 - 00:32:20 | Speaker 1:

Yeah, but generally speaking, that kind of like renting an apartment in Portland phase of your life has been going on for about three years, and for the past year or two, you've been working on huge renovations on this other house that's in southern Washington that now you've said you've made the decision. Again, if this I'm catching everybody up, if you didn't hear Monday show, you've made the decision that you are going to stop renewing your lease on the or your month to month lease in the apartment. And you're going to move into the house, even though still only kind of like half, half built maybe at this point. And oh, at best, at best. Right. But here's my question for you. And it's it is actually no joke, kind of a personal question. But I'm curious about your mindset of this home as it compares to my mindset when I moved into our home here in Seattle. Do you see yourself living in or owning this home in southern Washington for the rest of your life? Like once you move in and you're comfortable there and the renovations are done, do you sort of do you have a shift in your mind now that you're in your mid 40s of being like, OK, I can when I buy something and I bring it into this home, I don't have to worry about probably moving it again. My entire life, whenever I brought anything into my life, I thought, what is what is going to happen when I move? That's always a consideration. And when we moved into this home, it's been very nice that I don't think about that or even have a tiny inkling of that. And I'm curious what your emotional relationship is with the home that you're moving into now.

00:32:20 - 00:35:19 | Speaker 2:

that's a really good question it's complicated because i in order to know if i want to live in this home for the rest of my life i need to actually live in it when it's livable so once i mean if lord willing and the creeks don't rise if i can actually get this it all done so that it's uh you know the there's a functioning living room and a functioning kitchen and like if i can actually live in it for a while then i think i'll have a sense of if it's something that I can, or that I want to be the place where I am for the rest of my life. There are some big question marks. One of the big question marks is, it's not in, like, I've never lived in this exact kind of part of the world. I've lived in small towns like Port Townsend, but Port Townsend is idyllic. So even though it's a small town, it's got everything that you need. It's got a generally progressive culture. It's kind of cheating. You know, I'm not really living, I wasn't really living in small town America. I was living in this this odd, you know, small maritime village that really shared a lot of things that I that I like anyway. Bellingham's a decent sized city. You know, it's got a major college and it's got an airport. So that's I wouldn't call that small town living where this place is is kind of, you know, it's it's sort of not particularly close to like it's not walkable to anything. I can't walk to the grocery store, which would be a big deal breaker for you, I know. And so I don't know what it's like to live in that environment. I might really love it. I mean, my idea was, well, it'll be the kind of life where I just make a shopping trip and I have a list and I get the stuff I need for that week. And then I actually cook and I actually spend time in the home instead of like what I do now, which is door dashing constantly or just walking down the street from my apartment and and like, you know, buying something. I've also in the other homes this is the first time I've ever owned a house like completely by myself like the other homes that I have bought have been with somebody who I was married to or who I was in a relationship with and this is a first for me to just buy a place but with my by myself and that's also kind of a factor because if you as far as the sort of quote unquote forever home thing goes every other house I've ever bought I thought was my forever home. because that's how my brain works like i've been like oh okay well we bought this house and we're moving in and this is the rest of our life and i'll be honest with you andrew i took a lot of comfort from that like delusional as that turned out to be there was something and i think part of why i've been in a certain state of kind of agita for the last three years is because i don't exactly have that sense like I mean... I kind of have some apartment that I'm renting and I like Portland, but I don't know if I'm fully bonded with Portland. I've got this thing that I bought because I wanted to own a house and I didn't really feel like I could buy the kind of house in Portland on my budget that I wanted to or have enough money left over afterwards to fix it up.

00:35:19 - 00:37:43 | Speaker 2:

So I got kind of and I wanted something with a view. I got kind of enamored with this this place that I ended up buying. but it's like it's again it's just a giant it's not even giant it's just a small shell now that needs a lot of work still and thousands and hundreds of thousands of dollars and and materials and appliances and labor still to be put into it so to answer your question i don't i don't know i sure hope what i'm hoping is that when it's all said and done and i'm in there i find kind of i'm probably never going to find what i'm looking for like i think i'm old enough to know that that is illusory i always think that if i can be in the right built environment something inside of me will fundamentally change i don't know if that will happen but i but i could see myself really enjoying this place because again it looks out on this river i watch the boats i'll tell you this much it's when i sit i have a chair i got from rei it's a camp chair i sit it in the middle of this big dumb empty room that's all just like boards now right like there's no sheetrock there's no insulation there's no wiring and i stare out through the sliding glass door and i stare at the river and i watch boats go by and i feel very calmed by that that's nice like so that's a good sign and i could see myself you know wanting to be there more and more as it becomes more and more livable and more and more comfortable and i don't know i could see my lifestyle changing i do i want to be, do I want to be flying? Do I want to be traveling as much as I've been traveling over the last five or six years for TV stories? I don't know. Probably not. It doesn't seem like the most fulfilling. I mean, it's exciting in a way, but it's, I could see a version of my life as I get a bit older where this place with a slower pace of life and a nice view of some boats becomes more and more appealing to me. So I'm going to, here's what I think, to answer your question, I'm going to proceed as if it's the last place i'm ever gonna live because that's what i always do um and maybe i'll be right or maybe i won't but i did not buy this house to flip it this house was not an investment for me it wasn't like i'll get it i'll make it more valuable and if that were my plan the timing would be pretty lousy as well i think because like interest rates are way up and the market seems to be cooling and stuff i bought this house to live in it and hopefully to live in for a long time but again that's always my plan going in and so far it's literally never worked

00:37:43 - 00:40:34 | Speaker 1:

out dude i just want to know if we could keep the extra lunch boxes there no i'm just joking uh no no i i appreciate that answer because i mean that kind of hit on a lot of the things that i and that's why i said it actually it's a simple question right hey you're moving into this place you plan on being there for a long time but i knew that it wasn't a simple question because it's tied to a lot of different things uh and maybe even more so than i kind of realized uh before you answered that question um but i do remember and our our situations are very different right like the house that we live in here while i love this house it is not it is not a designer house it is not a show house it is not a house that we bring people over to show off right it's a it's a humble house in north seattle but it brings me a lot of joy and as somebody who did not ever really want to own a house it was never a goal of mine to like have that american dream of owning a piece of property. It just never appealed to me until suddenly it did. Suddenly in my 40s, I realized this city is our home. These are our people. It would be nice to have this place. And so that's why we ended up here. And I do remember telling my dad, and I want to make it clear, I'm 46 years old. There are all kinds of life events, good and bad, that could change our living situation at some point in the next five, 10 or 35 years. Right. But there was something very enjoyable to me, very kind of joyous to me, even thinking like, hey, we are settling in. I've never settled in for me. Honestly, my my American dream, my Andrew Andrewian dream when I was a young man was to never settle anywhere, to constantly be moving around, to work for a bunch of different public radio stations and work my way up whatever the whatever the ladder is you know in that particular version of my career and just like never want to feel like I can't move to a new city immediately I think a lot of things changed I think the idea of even just like work has changed and where we can work has changed but I was going to say that I remember saying to my dad like when I was moving in here trying to express my joy of being like this is it like you know like we're we're moving in like we plan on being here forever or something like that or spending the rest of our lives here and my dad was kind of one of those moments where it was almost like i was kind of a kid again like I think I I picked up a whiff of disappointment in him when I said that he was like don't say that you don't know what's good where you're gonna spend your life and I was like okay that's interesting like I don't mean to make it sound like I'm 46 years old and I'm done with life now although I gotta say now that the dartboard's here maybe that is the case but like I just sort of feel like I am somebody who as I've gotten older has felt more and more like I like to be home. I like my surroundings. I like coziness. I like puttering. And I like the idea of being able to settle here for a while. But maybe to some people, that actually sounds like

00:40:34 - 00:43:09 | Speaker 2:

settling. You know what I mean? See, the funny part is that's always sort of how I felt. Now, I'm not a homebody per se. And I like to go places and do things and see stuff. But I like the idea that I have a home base. I think it's because I grew up, you know, we had a rental house and my um you know my parents did not make it uh any secret that like my dad when he kind of like took over this sign business there was some like there was some tax debt that the previous folks hadn't dealt with that then fell on my dad and then it was like there was no money to pay for it so it was like the irs could come and like i don't know if the irs was in the business of evicting families of nine from their rental houses but i grew up just thinking this could all fall apart at any moment and i think it probably did a little something on my psyche and for me the idea of like for me the perfect way for my life to feel is i have a lot of interesting challenging things happening like professionally and otherwise i'm out in the world but i have somewhere to come home to and i own it i'm not renting it so they can't raise the rent on me they can't tell me no loud parties and it's my sanctuary and even if i'm not there for weeks on end i know that it's there and that means a lot to me and that idea of like of kind of saying this is where i'm going to be for the rest of my life or this is where like i don't at this point i don't have fantasies of like moving to paris and like living in a flat and like re i'm i don't i'm not trying to reinvent myself necessarily the idea of just having like a really a you know like a place that's really comfortable for me and really set up the way i want and has something nice to look at and and is maybe shared with somebody that I love like that and a couple of pets that's a very very appealing thought to me as well so I I guess my point is I've always like you know the first because the economy was different like I think I bought a house maybe I was like 24 granted that was five thousand dollars that my first ex-wife had saved up from waitressing this tells you how you used to be able to buy a house in Seattle it was like it wasn't like we were killing it in the in the money game but it was just like 24 years old I was like you know what I want to do I want to own a house I wasn't like you know what I want to do I want to like move to uh Vegas and rent like I it's that's always something that I've kind of that has appealed to me so to hear you talk about it that way the idea of like hey this is where we're going to be this is our sanctuary this is our home this is where I have my dartboard like that so resonates with me even though we have in other ways really different personalities that's something I can

00:43:09 - 00:43:50 | Speaker 1:

totally identify with yeah and i would guess that like your dream if we're just like dreaming big here would be more like well if i want more of an la experience or if i want more of a paris experience or whatever it is i would like to work towards a goal of being able to afford multiple places and again i'm not saying that that is your that that is what you are going for i'm just saying that like if you're talking about your dream scenario then yes maybe you have a beautiful house that you've essentially built or rebuilt in in this location but then also if you want to live moss and moss and moss then maybe you find ways to have have places that you can stay in

00:43:50 - 00:44:59 | Speaker 2:

other parts of the world yes but also that's another part of where i think i'm coming to to i'm coming to terms with how life works for most people me included which is that's never going to happen for me and i'm okay with that but i think there would have been a time in my life when i was 25 or even 30 i would have thought you never know i might be the host of the tonight show someday i might write a great screenplay i might do something exceptional in such a way that i would be the kind of person who has a house in the hollywood hills and has a house in uh seattle and like i would i guess i just felt like hey you never know and now i'm kind of like this is probably kind of the as i said the other day to some folks um uh i said you know i've and i've use this analogy on this show a lot it's like i can kind of feel this this flight is cruising along but you know at some point we're going to begin our initial descent and i've just never contemplated that much in my life before the last few years where i'm contemplating it kind of a lot and so even when you say that like you're right of course if i could snap my fingers the plan would be have some really cool you know home in multiple locations so that i can flit about whatever my mood is but

00:45:00 - 00:45:26 | Speaker 1:

Realistically, now I'm just like, well, that's not happening. I've just never been the kind of person who thinks, well, that's not for me. That's not going to happen to me. I'm not the kind of person who gets that, or I'm not the kind of person who will ever have that. I've just always kind of thought, who knows? I might win an Oscar. It was delusional when I thought it, but I used to think it, and now I'm like, I'm never winning an Academy Award. There's no logical path to me winning an Academy Award at this point in my life.

00:45:26 - 00:45:33 | Speaker 2:

Well, you better not be acting right now, Luke, because I don't know if you've heard. there's a little labor action going on and I don't like to think of you as a scab.

00:45:34 - 00:45:45 | Speaker 1:

Or you're saying because my acting was so good you didn't know if you should believe me or not because that's what I might win my Academy Award for. That performance I just delivered. This whole show up until this point

00:45:45 - 00:45:46 | Speaker 2:

or this whole conversation up until this point?

00:45:47 - 00:45:47 | Speaker 1:

Yes.

00:45:47 - 00:46:02 | Speaker 2:

Acting. Acting. Get to know me. Those are two different John Lovett's characters, aren't they? Probably. Okay. Hello and welcome to Top Story.

00:46:03 - 00:46:16 | Speaker 1:

I don't know if you had a chance to read this article that I sent your way, Andrew, in the New York Times by John Leland, but it's like pretty good. I thought you you you tend to appreciate the same kind of journalistic flourishes that I do.

00:46:17 - 00:46:31 | Speaker 2:

I didn't. Oh, yeah, I did not have a chance to read this yet. In fact, I was kind of buzzing around. I was buzzing around this morning, flitting from fast food restaurant to fast food drive. through. But your description of it at the top of the show caught my interest. So it sounds like

00:46:31 - 00:47:33 | Speaker 1:

it's story time for Andy. So the headline is, was the rolled up painting in the dog walker's closet worth millions? And again, this is a piece by the writer John Leland in the New York Times. This is how it starts. In March of 2022, Mark Herman, a dog walker and recreational drug enthusiast in upper Manhattan, came into possession of a dog, a painting, and a story. The dog was Philippe, a 17-year-old toy poodle that belonged to Mr. Herman's only client, an 87-year-old retired law professor named Isidore Silver. The painting, which belonged to Mr. Silver, may be a lost work by the artist Chuck Close, whose canvas is once sold for as much as $4.8 million. Or it may not. Therein lies the story. On a recent afternoon in his cluttered apartment, Mr. Herman offered a broken chair. and began a circuitous account of friendship, loss, and a commercial art market not meant for people like him.

00:47:33 - 00:47:43 | Speaker 2:

How's that for an intro? Actually, that is exactly as much of the article as I had read before we dialed up. So yeah, that also intrigued me. That is a great intro.

00:47:43 - 00:50:42 | Speaker 1:

So the basic, the sort of shape of the story is that this guy named Mark Herman is just this kind of quirky, very New York character. He's somebody who's lived in New York for a long time, but he's never really, he's been sort of, you know, he's been sort of on the periphery. He lives in a smallish apartment with his stepdaughter and I think his grandkid. He's somebody who's been pressed for money throughout his life. He's had, he's done all kinds of interesting, quirky things, but none of which have really left him sort of rich. And at some point, he crosses paths with this guy named Isidore Silver, who is a law professor, but who at one point had been a lawyer who was representing the artist Chuck Close. Now, Chuck Close is an artist who, towards the end of his life, his sort of career and person was really called into question because there was allegations against him from various women that he had behaved inappropriately towards them, kind of in a sexual nature. He died in 2021. Before that, if you go back 10 years ago, Chuck Close was this revered giant of kind of American art. He had had a spinal injury So he was in a wheelchair But he did these incredible Huge Pieces of work that were made up of Little small, is that called point, not pointillism But you know when you do sort of A collage that if you look at it very close Or a piece of work that if you look at it really close It doesn't, it's sort of Pieces of color or little images Or whatever you want to call it But then if you step back and get some perspective It forms like a portrait of somebody I don't know what that style of art is but Chuck Close well this is what they say in the Times Mr. Close best known for his monumental photorealist portraits so that's kind of that's sort of what he's known for but he also was a painter he was an instructor at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and he was described when he was there as desperately unhappy and he did this he finally got this art show Chuck Close did at a school. I think it was down in New York City. He got this art show in New York City. And actually, you know what? Maybe it was at Amherst. I'm sorry. And he was sort of, at that time, doing these weird abstract paintings that had some amount of nudity and sex and writing on them. Like he had words written on some of his paintings. One, or they were titled. One was called, I am only 12 and already my mother's lover wants me. And I am the only virgin in my school. These, apparently these titles for these paintings, some of which had like maybe a breast featured in them, was so scandalous that the school decided to pull the entire exhibit. And so Chuck Close was really mad about that, so he sued the university based on First Amendment, the First Amendment. He basically was making the case that art is protected by the Constitution as political or social speech.

00:50:42 - 00:53:42 | Speaker 1:

So you cannot take down my art show that I finally got because it's a First Amendment violation. And the person who represented him in that lawsuit was this guy named Isidore Silver. Chuck Close apparently did not win the lawsuit. uh uh he based and and and he just moved on with his life and but but according to is it or silver the attorney at some point chuck close gave him one of the paintings from the show one of the paintings from the band show the painting that has a big like boob on it at some point and this guy said is it or silver said that he just rolled it up and put it in his closet and just had it in his closet for many many many years well at some point he hires this dog walker named mark herman And Mark Herman will walk his 17-year-old toy poodle. And then more importantly, after he's done, he will sit with Mr. Silver and listen to him rant. Because apparently this guy, Isidore Silver, was a world-class ranter. He was angry about everything, according to Mark Herman, and had alienated all of his friends, all of his family. No one liked this guy except the dog walker. The dog walker was the only person who could handle him. he said he was a volatile character according to Mr. Herman he had his moods adding I know how to deal with people like that you say yes he and Mr. Silver and Mr. Herman they hit it off both liked movies both liked Lenny Bruce and both liked Philippe the dog who Mr. Herman called Philly Bones Mr. Herman started lingering in Mr. Silver's apartment after his morning walks staying for coffee and cake Mr. Herman made his own cannabis oils, and he gave some to Mr. Silver for his back pain. Then the pandemic hit, and Mr. Herman stopped walking dogs. The two men talked for hours on the telephone daily, Mr. Herman said. Mr. Silver had alienated most of the people close to him, so he formed a bond with Mr. Herman. Quote, he had a temper, Mr. Herman said. If he wanted to say something, you stand back and take it. That's the way I dealt with it, because he was very explosive. Asked what would set his friend off, Mr. Herman replied, everything. I can relate. Yeah, exactly, right? So, it ends up that this guy is all day silver. He is passing away. He's older. this guy, Mark Herman, goes over to his house, and he basically, the guy who's passing away, gives him the dog, because he's not going to take care of the dog anymore. And according to mark herman he says take the painting too so he gets the painting and the dog he's not in the guy's will although the guy's family does give him five thousand dollars for some reason um just to be nice to him but uh he's got this painting rolled up in his closet and again this guy mark herman is not a rich person at all he's frankly kind of broke and he's got this chuck close painting he thinks that might be worth all this money so he decides to start googling around to

00:53:42 - 00:55:04 | Speaker 1:

try to figure out what this painting was worth. Mr. Herman had stopped walking dogs. He was living on Social Security. So he checked auction prices for Mr. Close's work. It was $3.2 million for a portrait of Philip Glass, $4.8 million for a portrait of the painter John Roy. Even a very early abstract painting, the ballerina had sold for $40,000. Under the influence of magic mushrooms, Mr. Herman received some numbers. First, 1.4 million, and later, 10 million. In other words, he just eats a bunch of mushrooms and starts imagining numbers that the painting might be worth. Yeah, it just keeps going up. Under the influence of magic mushrooms, Mr. Herman received some numbers. First, 1.4 million. I love it. And they say the passive voice isn't good in journalism. Are you shitting me? Right. And later, 10 million. Quote, but they're pranksters, he said of the mushrooms. I would not jump out of an airplane and say, oh, the shroom's packed to my chute. I wouldn't trust them that far. They don't know everything. Oh, that's good. I just thought the description of not letting a magic mushroom pack your parachute. Like, who doesn't enjoy a little good psilocybin now and again, but don't let it pack your parachute, people. Exactly, definitely, and definitely don't. let your girlfriend tell you a story about the last episode of mash when you're on it precisely

00:55:04 - 00:55:44 | Speaker 2:

um so uh still maybe mr herman's ship had come in quote if i lived in a mansion i'd keep it he said but i wanted to sell it so basically what happens is he starts searching around and he's trying to find a an art gallery that will or i should say a an art house that will that will auction this off So he goes to Sotheby's, who offered to put it up for sale in December of 2022. They put the estimate at $15,000 to $20,000, which was low because this was an early work of Chuck Close's. It wasn't one of the ones that people who know Chuck Close's work think of. It was when he was finding his way back when he was a professor.

00:55:44 - 00:55:47 | Speaker 1:

But they do agree that it's a Chuck Close, at least at this point.

00:55:47 - 00:58:45 | Speaker 2:

Well, at first. Then they unroll the painting. By the way, he wanted to have the painting. he had never seen the painting because it was rolled up it was a canvas but it wasn't stretched onto the like wood to stretch it onto the wood would be five thousand dollars and he didn't have the five thousand dollars so he took it to this uh he took it to one place and they were like yeah we'll give us five thousand dollars we'll stretch it and then we'll put on a canvas and then we'll tell you what we think it's worth and he's like i don't have the five grand so sotheby's agrees to bill him for the stretching to basically deduct that from the the sale of the painting so he's never seen the painting before because it's been rolled up so finally the people at Sotheby's they they stretch it out they put it on the canvas and uh the when the auction house unrolled the painting it was the first time Mr. Herman had ever seen it uh the colors were vibrant the textures densely layered almost like a de Kooning Mr. Herman Mr. Herman said then things took a turn the auction house contacted Pace Gallery which had contacted Mr. Close's studio Neither had any record of the painting. While this doesn't necessarily mean the work is not by Chuck Close, it is certainly a red flag for us, said an associate specialist at Sotheby's. There would be no sale. In subsequent messages, they advised Mr. Herman that he would receive an invoice for $1,742 for stretching the canvas and that he should remove it soon or face storage fees. So he goes from, like, his ship is coming, he's going to sell this painting, to he owes sotheby's 1800 for stretching this thing and putting it on the canvas so then he's got to figure out how to get the painting out of sotheby's but he's got to like rent a van which is setting him back another 150 and when he goes to sotheby's he's worried that they're not going to even give him the painting until he pays off the stretching costs but he doesn't have $1,700 either. So he's like, and I have been in moments like this, by the way, when I wanted something because I kind of knew that I was like, let me put it this way. I don't think this guy's ever going to pay Sotheby's for stretching this canvas, but he does want to get, you know, possession is nine tenths of the law. So I'm sure he's like, if they just let me put it in the van, I'll tell them, I'll promise them whatever, get the thing back to my house. And then, you know, we'll worry about the rest of it later. That's tomorrow's problem. That's a tomorrow problem. So it turns out that they did let him take the painting. So he's got it in his apartment. It's the biggest thing in his apartment. It's next to an exercise bike. He's got this small apartment that he's, like I said, living in with his, I think, stepdaughter and her kid. It's not an apartment that's set up for, I don't know, five foot by nine foot giant possible Chuck Close painting. Oh, I'm sorry, by the way. The van was $125. Okay, gotcha. something fun it was funny about this story but now it makes sense right so he's just got this painting in his apartment he can't prove that it was a chuck close because the like the estate of

00:58:45 - 00:59:24 | Speaker 2:

chuck close has no record of it and this other gallery uh does doesn't nobody can prove that it's a chuck close apparently and then on july 17th so just a few not that long ago he catches a break, an archivist at the University of Massachusetts uncovers an article in the student newspaper about Chuck Close's 1967 exhibition, the one that was canceled, including an issue of the school newspaper dedicated to the controversy. Sorry, I guess it was an archive that had a bunch of stuff about it, and it had this clipping from the school newspaper, and there on page three is a photograph of the painting.

00:59:25 - 00:59:47 | Speaker 1:

That was one thing that i was confused about i i thought this was one of the paintings because of the because of the timing as you told it of like him giving of close allegedly giving this painting to the lawyer who represented him i sort of thought oh well then wouldn't this have been in the show and if the show ended up being the the the center of a lawsuit i feel like it would have been well

00:59:47 - 00:59:59 | Speaker 2:

documented in that way i you would think so but i mean that it took until july 17th for anyone to locate that. Here's the funniest part. So I've looked at the article now, I mean a photograph of the student newspaper article.

01:00:00 - 01:00:35 | Speaker 3:

And it's like talking about how basically like Professor Chuck Close has put this thing together and it's very controversial and they want to cancel it. And then there's just like a friggin picture of this painting that the dog walker has. A spokesman for Sotheby's shown an image of the newspaper said the auction house did not authenticate works and declined comment. Pace reiterated that it had no details on the painting or the exhibition. In other words, both of these places that were saying we can't prove this is a Chuck Close, for them, a newspaper article that shows it being displayed in the show from that day is apparently not sufficient for them to say, OK, probably it is a Chuck Close.

01:00:35 - 01:00:49 | Speaker 4:

That's funny. I wonder if I wonder if they're now worried about authenticating the newspaper article. Like, do we live in an age where they don't they kind of don't trust their eyes because we can all make things, you know, seem like other things using computers?

01:00:50 - 01:00:58 | Speaker 3:

What I can tell you is that having seen a picture of Mark Herman in the article, this is not a guy who has the wherewithal to Photoshop it.

01:00:58 - 01:01:12 | Speaker 4:

Well, I'm not bringing that up for like our edification, but I'm wondering if the legal edification or whatever standard that the art houses have to hold themselves to. Because otherwise, I just don't understand why this wouldn't be a slam dunk.

01:01:14 - 01:01:23 | Speaker 3:

You'd think so. But he is moving forward, by the way, with the plan to try to sell it. I don't know where he's going to sell it, but I mean, my guess is that this Times piece will help him a lot, actually.

01:01:23 - 01:01:24 | Speaker 4:

Yeah, definitely.

01:01:24 - 01:01:46 | Speaker 3:

Mr. Herman was already making plans. With the sale of the painting, he said he could move out of his apartment and get a place for himself and his girlfriend. I'm on the moon, he said. I've enjoyed living with it, but I want to get it out of here because a knife could fall on it, a can of paint could spill on it. Well, here's what I would say, Mark. Why don't you keep the can of paint collection far away from the Chuck Close painting?

01:01:46 - 01:01:58 | Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also maybe your knife collection, maybe not not near the painting, you know, like stop having the paintball competitions in your kitchen next to the painting.

01:01:58 - 01:02:30 | Speaker 3:

Just for now, you can resume them when you move into your new place. What is it worth? He truly did not know. But after so many disappointments with the paintings, what did he have to lose? Quote, there's got to be some money in it. He said, don't you think? End of article. Don't you think? That's definitely how he navigates the world. Totally. So anyway, I just thought that was a really entertaining—and I'm leaving out a bunch of details. But yeah, that piece by John Leland in the New York Times was a pretty good read. So when we hear—I'm sure we'll hear at some point when this painting sells, if it sells, and then we'll give you an update on it.

01:02:31 - 01:02:38 | Speaker 1:

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man, it's not from a female.

01:02:43 - 01:02:44 | Speaker 3:

All right.

01:02:44 - 01:03:33 | Speaker 4:

Emails or V-mails? God knows why, but the other day on this show, you asked me about a scene from Star Wars. God knows why I asked you something? Yeah, I mean, do you have any idea why this came up? But, like, you asked me about a scene from Star Wars. You said, wasn't there a scene in the swamp, maybe a Dagobah system, potentially, where Luke Skywalker had to raise an X-Wing using the Force? No, I think maybe you said Yoda did it, And I argued, I think Luke did it. And then the show just got better and better as we lingered on that movie that neither one of us know very well. But it doesn't matter because a lot of people don't know that movie. It's kind of a sleeper. We got this voicemail from somebody who wanted to clear things up. Must be a real movie nerd because they've seen Star Wars.

01:03:34 - 01:04:22 | Speaker 2:

It's Marissa from Maryland. Listen, Luke was right. Maybe because his name is Luke. It's Yoda who lifts the X-Wing out of the swamp. He assigns Luke the task of doing it. Luke tries, and then you're going to get my impressions here. And then Luke is like, I can't do it. It's too big. And Yoda's like, look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? And he gives him a lecture about the Force and how, like, size doesn't matter. And Luke's like, you have to be impossible. And he starts to walk away. And then Yoda, like, puts out his hand and closes his eyes and raises the X-Wing from the swamp. and there's a huge John Williams score swelling. And then Luke's like, I don't believe it. And Yoda is like, that is why you fail. Power out and may the force be with you.

01:04:23 - 01:04:24 | Speaker 4:

I believe that's exactly what I said.

01:04:25 - 01:04:52 | Speaker 3:

I'm pretty sure that's exactly. That is such a good voicemail. First of all, really strong Yoda impression. And I mean that. That is a very solid Yoda. Second of all, I had forgotten about this, but I kind of love this thing that I think a lot of people that are pretty into Star Wars have kind of decided which is we all kind of hate luke like luke kind of sucks like he's always just being like i wanted to get what is this like but like he wanted like he's just always very whiny

01:04:52 - 01:04:59 | Speaker 4:

yeah i remember i remember in the 80s my friend tony oh well my friend tony kind of would zig when others would zag sort of and maybe i

01:04:59 - 01:05:29 | Unknown:

Thank you.

01:05:00 - 01:05:26 | Speaker 2:

chalked it up to that but he was making fun of Luke Skywalker in the 80s saying that he was just a big whiner he's like he'd always rewind the part where um well spoiler alert where Obi-Wan Kenobi dies and he just yells Ben and he just yells it in this way that is like the like with well I mean maybe to his credit with the least machismo possible but I remember my friend Tony just being like what a funny like the the hero of the story just letting out this whiny Ben when

01:05:26 - 01:05:46 | Speaker 1:

his friend dies yeah and there's something like i wanted to get power converters yeah exactly very whiny to his aunt and uncle at the beginning yeah so i like that um i like that marissa is reminding me of that because it's very funny to me because he's you know ostensibly the star of the movie um and i like that i was i guess sort of right about yoda doing the thing and again i

01:05:46 - 01:05:58 | Speaker 2:

liked i liked getting to hear that yoda impression exactly really solid i am happy to get more star wars facts wrong in order to get more voicemails like that certainly absolutely all right listen

01:05:58 - 01:06:32 | Speaker 1:

um we are gonna go ahead and wrap things up here because i'm i'm due over there in hollywood right now to do a little bit of filming and i'm going to i may try to pull off something andrew i can report on this tomorrow something that i've never tried before which is a sun parasol it's going to be so hot and we're going to be filming and then there's a lot of like in between times when we're not filming, and I'm considering bringing an umbrella to hold over myself to protect myself from the sun in between shoots. Is that diva behavior?

01:06:32 - 01:06:33 | Speaker 2:

No, I don't think so.

01:06:34 - 01:06:37 | Speaker 1:

What about the fact that I'm going to make a broadcast associate hold the umbrella over my head?

01:06:38 - 01:06:38 | Speaker 2:

Yes.

01:06:38 - 01:06:43 | Speaker 1:

Like Farnsworth Bentley used to have to do for Diddy. Wow.

01:06:43 - 01:06:59 | Speaker 2:

I don't know. I did not know that reference. But, yeah, no, you're holding your own parasol. I am the old man. Yeah, no, of course. Or an umbrella or whatever it is. I mean, it's L.A. You see people doing that, and you just got to do – you can't get caught up on what people think of the way you look. You got to protect yourself.

01:06:59 - 01:07:12 | Speaker 1:

No, that's not what this city is all about. I'm just worried that if I like it too much, it might be a whole new thing for me. I might become umbrella guy, sunshine umbrella guy, which, I don't know, at 47, that's a big change. It's a big lifestyle change.

01:07:12 - 01:07:17 | Speaker 2:

Yeah, but you also live in Washington State, so it's not going to affect you that much. It's not going to probably be a huge issue.

01:07:17 - 01:07:49 | Speaker 1:

By the way, it's Fonsworth Bentley, not Farnsworth Bentley, F-O-N-Z. So I look forward to Marissa's Fonsworth Bentley impression when she calls in later to correct the record on that, too. All right. Hey, thanks for listening, everybody. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you as we inch ever closer to the 4,000th episode that we'll be recording on Saturday. Hope to see some of you there. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday, everybody. take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

01:07:49 - 01:08:01 | Speaker 2:

get to know me power out

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