Muse

Okay, Moira, you're up. I just noticed the time. Wow. And you're all very busy, so why don't we reschedule this for... two weeks from now, when you're all more prepared. Oh, no, we were done early. We got plenty of time. Come on, Moira, audition! I would love to learn from a professional singer. Someone helped me all that long It should have been you Someone's arms were big and strong It should have been you I warned you I was lonely But you didn't seem to care No, no, no I'd shake it a bit too too But I'd eat a woman's tears Woo, do Step and shake it low I'd shake it low I'd shake it low I'd shake it low I'd shake it low I'd shake it low I'd shake it low Someone loved me all night long It should have, it should have been you You That's the end Wow, that was different TBTL

music is very powerful like that cards for kids commercial before i saw that commercial i wanted to donate a car to kids but that song changed my mind and that's satire right

and that's irony and that's coincidence is it metaphor it's a 16-4 with a loop at the hook Freeze the bars and mute the quarter tones. If it ever feels like we're dragging, we're not. It's just that kind of tune.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show. Just might be too beautiful to live.

There's a Hidden Valley Ranch party in my mouth.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Paging Mr. Herman. Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk.

Coming to you from the Hollywood Broadcast Center right here in Portland, Oregon, where it's a beautiful day.

Oh, ma, ma, it's just beautiful.

It's so beautiful that I wanted to really emphasize it with an extremely loud version of that audio drop. My bad. I'm a little discombobulated right now because I'm looking around this apartment and I'm realizing that I'm moving this weekend. end and it's got me feeling a little bit stressed oh my god i'm freaking out like i know that it will be okay i've moved before i know that it's just a process of getting a bunch of boxes putting stuff in the boxes i do have movers this time that's a first in probably the last three or four moves that i've done um but uh i know it'll be okay but right now i can't actually understand how it'll be okay i know that on monday when i talk to all of you from the riverhouse studios perched high above the mighty columbia river it's gonna be okay but right now it doesn't feel like that's gonna happen anyway let's let's get down to the nitty-gritty as nacho libre says let's talk about episode 4002 in a collector's series let the fun begin uh i am getting pretty close, I think, to becoming absolute best friends. Best friends are very cool to be. Very best friends are dope to be. With someone that I've only had a parasocial relationship with so far. We'll talk about that. Also, have we all been eating strawberries incorrectly? That's what Jose Andres, the famed chef, might say. It's nothing like when your lips contered. A skinless strawberry. Also, it's a Thursday, a.k.a. Blursday, So we'll do some Blur's Day messages, and we'll talk to this guy, longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Louie, what is that? I'm like, I don't know. What is it? It's an Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning. I just had a complete revelation here, Luke. That intro tape that we just heard, Moira Rose from Schitt's Creek scatting, Catherine O'Hara, of course, scatting. I love that tape. It's brilliant. It made me laugh even more now than the first hundred times I heard it for some reason. I just forgot how absolutely bananas she goes at the end of that thing. Scat man's world. But the thing that always confused me was I did not understand, and I don't know if this is going to be relatable or not, You're a good...

you're good at like kind of picking out lyrics and focusing on lyrics. I'm not, which is why just now, after having heard that several times, I was just thinking, why does she say someone left me on that log? It should have been you. And I was like, why would you say that? And I Googled it, and some other people thought she was saying that too. She is not saying that. Do you know what she's saying?

Can you play it again? Do you have the technology? I know you're playing the music, too, so I don't want to sabotage the system. Right. But I wouldn't mind. I think this might be a fun game for me to hear it in context again and see if I can pick it. Because I've always thought it was someone left me on that log. Okay, you did.

That actually makes me feel way better. 100%. Okay, okay. I'm looking for the version that I can play here easily without having to restart this entire intro. So just give me one second. But I just want to say, I am very glad that you here, I think I found it here. I am very glad that you also thought the same thing. It's just like, wait, why would she be saying someone left me on that log? It should have been you. And it reminds me a little bit of the expression, if you'll give me a moment, excuse my coarseness here. All right. Kids, cover your ears. Cover your ears. It's going to get fresh. Hide your faces.

She's the new number one listener of the show since she came to the live program for 4,000.

I didn't offend her with my coarse language on shit.

She actually, you know what? I talked to her afterwards, and she was in high spirits. So I don't think that any of us offended her with our. Okay, that's good. Because you did bring up the, you know, dog crap in a peach pit thing.

Yeah, I said I was shaking like a dog shit in peach pits. And so while we're being coarse here, I heard the expression shit out of luck as a kid. And I thought my dad was saying shit on a log. and so for the longest time I thought I was like I don't know man we're shit on a log which is also an unpleasant place to be absolutely who would want to be shit on a log right exactly so okay but wait sorry

you raise a good point whether you mean to or not my friend what is shit out of luck even right that's not so great either like shit on a log is actually like you can picture it it's not a thing you'd want to be like if you said golly we're just shit on a log right now yeah it's like okay i'm there with you and i know that we don't want to be that but like shit out of luck we're really earning this um really do we consider shit a swear word anymore um i feel like it's the lowest level i do i see i grew up in a

house where we were not allowed to say fart we were not allowed to say crap so even though that was a long time ago here as a 46 year old i still think everything's a swear f-a-r-t um i just feels

like it feels like it's oh just you can say it on basic cable now you might even be able to can you say that shit on on uh you know like could you say that on network television after 9 p.m at this

point dude you can show dennis franz's butt cheeks well i know you can do that we did a

deep dive on that world we did a deep dive into dennis franz but like i just feel like you know there are other there are other words that are you know on the the sort of seven words you can't say and they but the thing is the thing they refer to you might say is adult in nature and so i can i sort of understand why you know we don't need people saying the f word i don't want to sound like a prude but it's like i understand why you don't say the f word on like network television and you know i think the b word is just pretty offensive and and and has a lot you know just terrible patriarchy behind it and but like i mean shit is just another way of saying poop right just caca merde if you want to go parlez vous francais like it just feels it just and And the thing is, when you say it in another language, it has zero—it feels totally non-offensive, right? If you say guano, it doesn't even—like, if I was hooked up to some kind of an EKG machine or whatever, some kind of a brain scanner like Kirk Cousins does in the television show Quarterback, which, oh my gosh, Andrew, we really need to spend some time on this, talking about this program.

I've heard some people referring to it. It's hosted by one of the Mannings, Peyton.

It's really not though He just literally Well I've watched four episodes And he's He's in like Two minutes Of the first episode Like it starts with him going Well from I'm gonna do a terrible Peyton Manning I may be biased But I just think Quarterback is the most It's just the hardest position To play in football Like He's just That's what he says

Omaha Yeah

And he does yell Omaha Which was surprising

That's my imitation

I think yours was better It's not like

It's hosted by

Like when you hear there's a show.

called quarterback hosted by peyton manning it sounds like it's some kind of like a skills competition and he's like standing on the side while like quarterback nfl quarterbacks try to throw the ball through a tire it's not that at all it is like an incredibly well done documentary series following three nfl quarterbacks one of them is kirk cousins the minnesota vikings the is Marcus Mariota of, at the time, I believe he's the Atlanta Falcons, and then Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs. And it is just absolutely riveting storytelling. I've been, like, telling people that don't even watch football, including Becca, like, you should just watch this because there is a scene, and I posted this on threads, Andrew. Yes, I'm still on threads, okay? Where Kirk Cousins is in His kind of like trophy room Where he's got You know lots of memorabilia and stuff By the way Kirk Cousins comes off as a Very a deeply dorky And deeply likable I believe that Which I don't know why I've always was kind of like I sort of Looked a little bit askance at him You know some of his

Did you seem to be a little bit too righteous To be like he's very religious

Exactly and I get a little I Tend to think and this is my problem some of my own baggage but if somebody has a particular kind of active evangelical faith i sort of i wonder where they're coming down on a lot of like cultural and social issues and i don't know that from like it doesn't seem to come up in this special and you know but so i've always been kind of like i thought kirk cousins was kind of a goofy guy and uh he he is a goofy guy but he but he he's sort of he's sort of uh so goofy that he becomes lovable one One of these things could happen.

Can we call today's show The Righteous Death Stones?

Hey!

That's a Kirk Cousins joke.

Oh, my God, dude. He's got Death Stones. Andrew, that might be. I'm writing it down. That is genius work. That is incredible. So Kirk Cousins also, I just, for the people that don't know, I want to explain the majesty of what my friend Andrew Wells just said.

I am the one. I mean, I sort of set myself up. I didn't know I was doing it, but I'm the one who brought up righteousness into the conversation.

uh you know what god has a plan andrew his plan was for you and that friend is you in front of kirk cousins home i'm just reading from espn in between a few shrubs stands a curious tower no more than four feet tall it's filled to the top now i'm clicking on the link it's filled to the top with stones uh it's there to remind me of how brief life is and how important the time we have here is the minnesota's vikings quarterback says uh he said it's a little morbid but it's a tool my Bible teacher taught me in high school, and I'm carrying it with me. The stones were inspired by a Bible verse from the book of Psalms. I don't think I knew this part of the story. I knew about this death rock tube, but I don't think I knew it was based on something from Psalms. Essentially, he says, let's say I live to be 90. That'd be a pretty good run. We went month to month, and we added up that 720 stones because i'm 30 this year so he thinks he has 720 months left potentially uh every month i'm going to take out a stone and put it in my pocket and think once this month is over this is gone you can't get it back it's gone for good so he is taking rocks out of this tube every month and carrying that rock around to remind him that this is one less month of his life that will ever exist and so make the most of it and then throws the stone in the water or something afterwards at the end of the month let's see here uh the stone for each month represents the amount of time he likely has left uh let's see uh i'm trying to get to the part about oh as cousins remove stone each month he feels of it in his palm to remind him of the time passing and then i'm just scrolling let's see i don't see anything about him skipping the stone yeah i mean honestly we are so far afield we got to get back to moira i want people to know that righteous death stones is a is an amazing

show title but anyway can i just say that that is not and i'm not saying this is a dig at all by the way but like if you take out the religious connection to that and you know the the bible verse or whatever like it doesn't sound like something that you you wouldn't yeah potentially think about or talk about on tbtl this idea of being like kind of present and like thinking about time passing and having some sort of a physical representation of that like death stones i could

see you getting into death stones totally i mean yeah i mean like you said reframed a little bit or something maybe that's not directly from a bible quote i mean i'm a guy who got are you here tattooed on his arm the other day by the way it's still working now we're only about five days into to the project, but it is... Maybe it's because it's summertime and I'm wearing a lot of short-sleeved shirts, but it is actually working anyway.

Working as reminding you to be present, you mean?

Yes. Because I know you and Veeves have had a lot going on, and you've got this big event coming up and things, and we were both commiserating about how both of our summers feel really, really busy, and summer is a nice time to relax, and it has felt like we haven't really had a chance. Again, that's a good thing. It means we still have this job, so I'll take it. but i've been getting kind of spun up a little bit about this move about some stuff with cbs with some trips that are coming up with just like a whole bunch of things in my life and it's very easy for me to just get up to where my shoulders are basically touching my earlobes i'm just so like and then i like will notice i will just notice this tattoo are you here and i'll just kind of go okay like like this morning i went on a jog i know we're getting even further afield but we're going to bring this back to Kirk Cousins, don't you worry.

I actually have a question about this tattoo as well, so I'll continue to dig us deep.

This morning, thank you. This morning, I was trying, one of the things that has me a little bit stressed right now is I do try to get out and go on a jog most days. It is good for my emotional health. When I don't do that, I feel kind of crummy. And this morning when I went out for my jog, my knee was being strange. there was like some kind of a ligament in there that i got about a block into my jog and it just started to kind of hurt and i thought well maybe i just need to run it'll warm up sometimes that happens you know these old bones i went about another block and it was like actually getting really painful to where it was kind of hard for me to keep running so i stopped i tried to stretch it massage it a little bit and then i went for another block and i got about four steps in and it was like i couldn't even put weight on it like while running and this is very very disconcerting for me because i'm in a moment of my life where things are i feel like this is such a theme on the show of late but i i'm in a moment of my life where things feel really stressful to me and being able to get out there and go on a little jog literally what my plan was on the jog was to in my mind figure out where i'm going to put my crap in the other house because most of it is a construction site so i was like going to like literally play like mind tetris and because the movers are showing up on sunday and like figure out which box is going to go where how will i organize this how will i get to stuff i need what's the process of making the house level i had this whole plan of what i wanted to try to iron out in my mind as i was jogging and i couldn't do that because i couldn't keep jogging and then i started to spiral i started to think well what if i'm what if i can't run for a month or two what's that going to mean for me am i going to be able to moderate my calorie intake to offset the fact that i'm i mean i'm just going on this whole thing and then i look down at my arm andrew and i see this dumb tattoo and i realize i can still walk like it doesn't hurt at all when i'm walking i'm listening to m83 on my headphones i now have like i had blocked out 45 minutes for the run now i have 45 minutes to walk around my leafy neighborhood and think the same thoughts and how lucky for me that my body allows for that kind of mobility it's a beautiful morning and maybe i'll just maybe i'll just pivot and i swear to god i'm not trying to over dramatize this but it was because i looked down at this dumb little tattoo and instead of like instead of like kind of future tripping and freaking out i just thought let me just go for a nice 45 minute walk in my neighborhood and listen to this m83 and just smell the summer air and look at the trees and just chill out and that's exactly what i did it was really good for me so you know i'll call that a win that was worth 80 at phoenix tattoo and

piercing in pioneer square here's my question for you uh also can you take a photo i don't think we've posted a photo of that tattoo you talked about it in the 4000th episode so this is a tattoo It's on your arm, and it's your own handwriting, and it's a lowercase R, the letter R, a lowercase letter U, and then the word here, question mark. My question is a weird question to ask somebody because it's not my tattoo, but I'm just curious. Were you tempted to go with you are here, or was it always are you here, a question, as opposed to you are here?

I always thought I wanted it to be a question. And again, I thought of this for all of 15 minutes while I was getting into the lift on my way to the hotel and then diverting the lift to the only tattoo parlor open at that time of night. But in that in that period of time, I wanted it to be are you here? Because I wanted it to be a question to myself, like which I guess, you know, you are here is a different way of doing it. But I thought this is useful for me when I'm freaking out or when I'm just somewhere else mentally, when I'm living in the past or starting to try to live in the future. To just ask myself, hey, are you here right now? Like, is this, are you? in this moment or are you somewhere else where you don't need to be right now and so that's why i phrased it as a question or had it phrased as a question i was just curious because like and i

you know i i don't have any tattoos or whatever but i could see if it were me what's it like not being cool i could see myself going with uh you are here but now that might also be a little bit too clever by half because it sort of has a double meaning like you are here is already sort of an expression like on a representing like on a map you are here but also a reminder that's just like hey you're here right now like no matter what else is going on you're here do you know that i had a uh we got to get back to moira rose but yeah you know when i was quite young i'm gonna say maybe around i don't know i was like a teenager um before i really thought about my place in the universe that much i was just dealing with whatever came my way you know and enjoying life during the good times and also going through some kind of rough social times as younger person or whatever um i would be hard on myself but i was not into like any kind of like well think about it this way reframe it this way be conscientious be present or whatever i just didn't think about that stuff but looking back now um now that i do have more conversations like that with you often on this show i do remember a thing that i would think of during tough times i'm almost now i'm worried that i brought this up and i'm gonna get choked up but i remember like i I really love my Uncle Frank, and he was always somebody I looked up to a lot as a kid, and we had a really good relationship, and I think during times that I was feeling really bad about myself, I would just think like, hey, just think of yourself the way Uncle Frank looks at you, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Was he the one that used to yell at Terry? He's the...

That was my grandpa. Sorry, I got a little bit choked up there, but it was just sort of like, no, that's a nice, that's kind of a nice way, but like, just be that person. Yes. Be the person that Uncle Frank thinks you are, which is a weird way of putting that.

No, no. First of all, please don't apologize for feeling emotional. It's about time you got actually vulnerable on this program. Can we talk about Prince now? Well, you know what's funny about Prince is I am not a person who, generally speaking, likes writing words as letters. That was Prince's whole weird language he made up. And I did kind of wonder about writing, are you here? Because that's not how I, I'm pretty careful about my grammar and text messages. I don't go in for that. You know, I would die for you or nothing compares to you. I was about to say that, yeah. But I just, I don't know why this, in this one case, I thought, I don't need the full words. I just need a little thing. But it is interesting that I went for something that is really outside of how I generally like I just I don't ever write notes to myself that way. I wouldn't send you a text, you know, using a letter to stand in for a word. It's just not really my thing. But in this case, I went for that. But I think that's a really nice sentiment that you're talking about. i'm also glad to hear um i'm glad to hear that you do employ some of these tactics however occasionally of just kind of like maybe kind of like checking in with yourself or maybe taking a look at how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way and maybe there's a different way to to kind of approach these thoughts or how you're feeling yeah i do think that's helpful the thing

that surprises me is that like kind of looking back as an adult is that i had those like that that little coping mechanism for lack of a better word um or or exercise actually was something i was doing quite young like i say that was something like i it wasn't like part of my language to think of things in that way it was just something that i did or landed on at one point and it was a sort of an interesting thing i should point out you do have that jacket that says i really don't care

do you i know i got it at the disaster site i got it i got it at the glam goodwill on capitol hill I don't know, shortly after Melania visited town. Yeah, interesting. By the way, Andrew, we call that a practice. Ah, practice. That's the cool, yeah, practice. Like, oh, I've been really working on this practice. That's if you want to like... Anyway, so here's what I wanted to tell you about Kirk Cousins on the TV show Quarterback on Netflix. He was apparently in his a cappella group in high school in Michigan. And the footage, I'm going to try to play this off of, I texted it to myself because I had posted this, of course, just the beauty of these programs like Threads and Instagram, where you have no control over how you start the file. But anyway, he is in this trophy room, and he's talking about this singing group that he was in. They were called the Extreme Tenors. And what's amazing is they had a hand signal that he demonstrates, which was, imagine, Andrew, you cross your arms like an X. and then you go from the X and you rotate it until it's a T because it stood for extreme tenors.

I mean, I absolutely love this. The fact that you're in something that is like traditionally and I'm just using like the but like traditionally

traditionally like non-masculine like we're these tough literally says this yeah but oh sorry then i'll let the tape talk for itself but that's really funny it's just kind of like but so but instead we're an acapella group which usually wouldn't fit into that stereotype of football players but we're going to be extreme tenors and they had and again andrew i can't this is what

we'll be the the people hearing this will be losing is kirk cousins doing the x and then rotating it to be a t for extreme because he has this t-shirt for extreme tenors is in his trophy collection so along with all of his football stuff and his when he gets a game ball this whole thing there's a yellow t-shirt with green writing that says extreme tenors i think i love this guy and he's got it in there with all of his other stuff and this is okay i'm going to try to see if i can make this if i can make this audio work it's always tricky like i said with these programs so

bear with me okay high school choir the tenor section was a bunch of guys who really hadn't hit puberty yet, and so our voices were still pretty high. So we would say, well, we may not be basses who have the big manly voices, but we are extreme tenors, and we would throw up the X and the T.

Now this is him singing. And it just cuts off.

That's amazing. But that's not him in high school. That's him in high school. Oh, it sounds like his voice is more developed than I thought. I thought it was going to be squeakier That's not bad He's actually a pretty good singer Yeah right

Like he's the person doing the like The closer on Pretty Woman Right But anyway All of that is to say that This show Quarterback is I highly recommend it If you're a football fan And even if you're not I mean it's just well done It's the things that I like about that show Hard Knocks Where they're very much embedded With these folks Like Patrick Mahomes and his wife Their relationship they're like their love story if you will is stunning to me like he had a crush on her in like seventh grade oh wow and was friend zoned by her for like three years or something and um and and finally you know sort of like got her some janky like rose i got a sense it was one of those ones like a fake like you know little satin like tear on it or whatever water droplet station something like that but she thought you know and then it was like it was a kind of a joke but it wasn't and then they started dating and they're still together and they seem to be very much in love with each other she was a college soccer player and now she's a co-owner of the of the women's soccer team the professional soccer team that's in kansas city and like they go to all the games together and it's just like i don't think patrick mahomes has it in him to like like sort of pretend to be a certain kind of person that he's not on camera so presuming that he's genuine this is a guy who's really in love with his wife really supports and and really is a fan of her talents and dreams and what she's interested in it's not doesn't strike me as one of those relationships where it's very asymmetric you have like the one person who's way up here and the other person who only exists to like support that other person which is surprising because being a two-time super bowl champ is a pretty big deal it could very easily have fallen into that other category and it doesn't seem to have which i just thought was cool i feel like i'm always this

guy and i don't want to be this guy but i can't not say it um the one sort of ding against him sort of culturally i believe is um i overheard him telling this to somebody he's kind of way into bath bombs uh i heard him telling jake from state farm that he almost likes bath bombs too much and so i don't know i don't know if people really care about that stuff so much but it is something to sort of think about when you talk about his legacy.

Everybody's got secrets. Dark, disturbing secrets. I'd rather leave clandestine. Anyway, I would recommend the TV show

Quarterback. Okay, so what do you think Moira Rose is saying in this? Do we have the audio? Did I buy you enough time? No, can you just tap dance a little bit?

Someone helped me all that long. It should have been you. Someone's arms were big and strong. It should have been you. I warned you I was lonely, but you didn't seem to care, no, no, no. I gave it a heat of woman's tears, woo, do, step and a shank a low. Okay, stick with it. Did she say someone left me on that log the second time?

Is she being... I'm no closer to understanding what the real lyric is. So my understanding was it began with her saying, and I never even questioned this, someone left me on.

that log. I thought that was the first words to come out of her mouth. Let's listen to it again. I thought she was saying, someone left me on that log.

Someone helped me off that log. Or no, I'm sorry. Somebody helped me off that log.

Help me off that log. My apologies.

But this is, someone helped me off that log. And then at the end it feels like she's saying, someone left me

on that log. Exactly what I thought. But according to transcripts.foreverdreaming.org .moira.rose

slash Herb Erflinger

slash viewtopic.php question mark T equals 24813. One of my favorite websites, this is a transcript from the show, and because it is included in this episode, which I believe is season two, episode three, these are apparently the lyrics. Someone held me all night long.

Someone held me all night long. It should

have been you. What do you make of that? Is that it? That's it.

Someone helped me all that long It should have been you

Still sounds more like helped me off that long but that doesn't make any sense It's someone held me all night long And it should have been you It should have been you Someone's arms were big and strong It should have been you Here, I'll maybe try to do this

Someone helped me all that long It should have been you Someone's arms were big and strong It should have been you

Okay, I think those were pretty clear, right? Someone's arms were big and strong It should have been you She starts scatting quite a bit. And then she gets to, I was, here, let's go back to this here. Sorry, I'm bouncing back and forth.

I warned you I was lonely, but you didn't seem to care. No, no, no.

I thought she was saying, I wore you out with lonely.

Oh, I always knew she said, I warned you I was lonely.

Yes, I warned you I was lonely, but you didn't seem to care. that you could have been doo-doo, but you da-da held a woman's tears. I want to be not laughing over this

because I want Lynn to be able to isolate you reading the lyrics, but I can't control my joy-do. Lynn is retired.

He didn't eat a woman's tears. Okay, so like a lot of scatting here.

More scatting. And someone loved me all night long It should have, it should have been you

So that was someone held me all night long, right? No, no, someone loved me all night long It should have been you

Now the thing is that obviously the scatting is It's a level of comedy that I'll never achieve Because it's so good But the lyrics

Should I do it? Someone left me on that log I got a little jar full of pushpins And it sort of seemed like it was making the perfect sound

it was making it was why did you stop that was so good i literally do you understand do you understand that i physically moved away from my microphone because i didn't trust myself to not like laugh and i wanted that as much in the clear as possible no that's as far as i go i think it's funny because that song goes from being complete nonsense to me to actually being fairly coherent as as a song other than the scatting which is just hilarious yeah but it's like Somebody held me all night long It should have been you Someone's arms were big and strong It should have been you I told you I was lonely But you didn't seem to care Also, is that a real song? The other question is Is that a pre-existing real song?

I was looking on Reddit And a lot of people were coming to Reddit With that exact question Nobody could dig it up And I feel like if the Redditors can't dig it up It doesn't exist

Because there is, of course, a proud history Of Catherine O'Hara I always like O'Hare. And is it Catherine or Kathleen?

I think it's Catherine, but I think it's O'Hare. But I'm doing that from my memory. No, no, no. It's O'Hare. Actually, I don't. No, Jesus Christ. I'm always wrong. Catherine O'Hara. I always say O'Hare. I'm sorry.

It's Catherine Midway. That's a Chicago airport joke. That was so dumb. Anyway, there's a great history of her singing standards that I assume are in the public domain in the movie Waiting for Guffman when I believe she and Fred Willard sing A Moonlight at the Oasis.

Yeah, all right.

Which I realize now, all of the songs I know are way off. I know we're way off the beaten path, but can I just tell the listeners I needed this today? Good. Because I'm in a world of stress, okay? I needed this distraction. This is a welcome distraction for me. I know it's bad podcasting, but I was thinking about at some point Like the songs that they sing in Waiting for Guffman and the ones that aren't just like originals that are made up like about Blaine, they're all, I think, old enough that they didn't have to pay for the rights. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Because like I had never heard Moonlight at the Oasis.

Midnight at the Oasis I'd never heard that song before The Ron and Sheila Albertson audition scene I don't know if you're as obsessed with this movie as I was But the other one they have is I think it's Eugene Levy's character Again, back to a Schitt's Creek reference I think he sings Camp Town Racers sing this song Doodah It's pretty clear, I think That they were using songs That they were not going to have to pay anyone Any money for but it just kind of ends up being funny in its own weird way. Here's a little bit of Catherine O'Hara. I always said it that way. And Fred Willard singing Midnight at the Oasis in their audition for the musical Red, White, and Blaine.

Ding dong.

Oh, I wonder who knows I'm vacationing here at the Oasis.

Am I late? you surprised how did you find me i have my ways would you like to come in for coffee

you don't need to answer there's no need to speak i'll be your belly dancer prancer and i will be your she i don't need a harem honey

When you're by my side And you won't need a camel No, no When I take you for a ride

We'll need some coffee to go with that ride, won't we? We're always full of surprises

But say, I wonder, do we have time for that coffee?

What time is it?

What time is it? Haven't you been paying attention? It's midnight at the away show

I feel like we're both going to say the same thing Do you think, because she can sing, right? She, Catherine O'Hara, can sing Is it really hard for someone who can sing to sing off-key like that?

That's a really, I had never considered that until I was watching that video And because of maybe the proximity to what we played from Schitt's Creek Which is like a lunatic song But you can tell that under all of that, she can sing Like, yeah, talented at singing. So I hadn't really thought about the waiting for government thing in that context. But yeah, I mean, it must have been I wonder if it's if it's hard. I don't know the answer to that, but there isn't anything that she can't do, in my opinion. And also that scene is just full of so many little subtle visual jokes. First of all, I believe Corky Sinclair is wearing wearing a Judy Tenuta T-shirt, which you remember her with the accordion. Yeah Like that's just like We like Judy Tenuta right I believe she passed away recently

Oh no I didn't know that

But I love that like Corky's got like he's got a Judy Tenuta T-shirt on I love that when Catherine O'Hara Jumps on Fred Willard's back For the scene you can see that he visibly Grimaces I love that they're wearing track suits It's just everything about it is just pure magic.

I'm literally looking for Judy Tenuta t-shirts right now because I want one. Is there anything more punk rock than wearing a Judy Tenuta t-shirt?

I don't think so. In this day and age, in this economy? Hello and welcome to Top Story. Again, I apologize beyond just my general life stress. if i sound extra distracted today it's because the cat is just she's on one today andrew i sent you a photo of the report that while you and i were getting the line dialed up and doing some sound checks and stuff the cat who's always kind of batting at the like the keys on the i have a printer slash fax in case i need to reach 1993 i can do it and um she likes to bat at the buttons but she has never done what she did this morning which is actually hit a button that successfully attempted to send a full-on fax to where i got a printed report fax report i haven't seen a fax report in forever i got a fax report it didn't go through there was no answer because it was dialing 1992 but it was dialing dilberto seriously like it's you you i sent it to you it is a full-on on like this machine is like good try no one answered at that number but really you you know we'll keep you posted anyway and she's now like i've got i'm starting to pack stuff up in this room so she's standing on top of a huge pile of books now that's putting her roughly at the height of the broadcast table Mm-hmm.

I do – because there are going to be so many downsides of moving to this other house just in terms of like a functioning bathroom and kitchen and things like that, I do need to talk about some of the upsides, which is I can be in the TBTL studio and she can be in the house, and I can not have to be constantly menacing her with this water bottle, this spray bottle to keep her off of my broadcast center. So thank God for small mercies.

Can I give you a quick update over here? Please. So I'm on a website called ReplicaPropStore.com. I'm going to tell you, the website's a little bit janky, but I have in my cart right now the Judy Tenuta t-shirt from Waiting for Guffman. Is it got like a pink triangle on it? Yes, it's really cool. Now, also, obviously, my first thing is like, oh, I forgot Judy Tenuta existed until you said it a moment ago, so I already feel like if I wear this, I'm going to be a poser. Nobody will even see it underneath my button-down shirt, but I will feel like a poser. So if I hit go on this, I'll need to study up on Judy Tenuta before I don it. But here's the deal.

By the way, it's not a pink triangle. I believe it's a heart. Oh, yes. And the photo of her is over a heart, and it says love goddess under her picture.

But the other thing is I see that this is from – it said $26. But now that I'm in the shopping section, it's like 20 pounds, 20 pounds and 50 whatevers. I don't know much about the world. So it's coming in from Canada. No, it looks like Great Britain. That's a joke. Oh, I see. I was going to say, yeah, that's different. That's loonies. Anyway, but now I'm worried about shipping. It says shipping is going to be calculated at the next step. Like, I don't think I can pay for this thing to be shipped across the pond. But I'll let you know.

I mean, I do love the idea of you wearing this T-shirt out and about in Seattle. Again, you wouldn't wear it. Like, you're not a T-shirt in public guy these days. Like, you'd have one of your other shirts over it, you're saying?

Yeah. I mean, these days, I've always been like that. I think in the 90s, I would always wear a T-shirt and then a big oversized button-down shirt over it. But of course, it was always open in the front, as was the style at the time. We had an onion on our belt. Yes. And we had a big flannel shirt that was open in the front that would show your Led Zeppelin T-shirt or whatever it was underneath. but i stopped doing that uh when i became an adult i guess um so anyway yes but i still love i still have special t-shirts that i love wearing not to um kiss up here but i have like our friend leanie has uh released a really cool shirt with her last record and i have that shirt and i wear it and i just like it gives me it gives me a feeling when i put it on i love the shirt but nobody ever knows i'm wearing it but it makes me happy right now i'm fine are you on digital

printcustom.com

no did you find a better one here in the states

that I could buy well I don't know I haven't I haven't tried to do the shipping but it does seem like it might be I mean it's clear what they're going for because there's three photos of this t-shirt there's one in white where the shirt is white there's one in yellow which is actually kind of dope because the shirt itself is yellow and then there's just a picture of Corky wearing it so it's clearly and it's actually a slightly different picture of Judy tenuda in the one they're selling versus the one corky is wearing but it's very clear that what this is is for people like you and me who watched this almost 30 year old movie and were like where do we get that t-shirt that corky sinclair is wearing that is the whole point of whatever this

drop shipping thing is that somebody has set up so it looks like with so it's 10 pounds to ship

so this one says it's in the usa the one i found yeah i might look at that later i wanted just to

be cool buying this on the on the fly on the show but the total would be about 38 dollars uh kind of steep for a t-shirt right like i don't want to be that guy but it's a little bit also this website just seems a little jank it's not so what about laid out website there's also the

judy tenuta um official like uh merch site now judy tenuta is no longer with us but wouldn't wouldn't it be great if you state of judy tenuta yes i believe judy tenuta may have been survived by her either wife or longtime partner. I'm not kidding you. I was like pretty sad when she died considering I was only, you know, I would see her in comedy specials and things when I was, you know, in high school and I thought she was kind of an interesting brassy character. But when she passed, I was pretty bummed and then I did a little like digging in on her life and just she seemed like a very interesting person and very, um, a fierce defender of LGBTQ plus rights and things. So I didn't know any of that.

I also didn't realize she was that much older than us, so she died at age 72, which is still too young, obviously, but I thought she was, I mean, I guess I figured she might have been like 10 years older than us. I just knew her from seeing her on random comedy clips on MTV and VH1 back in the 90s.

Yeah. All right. Speaking of people from the Internet that we don't know, but would like to know, Andrew, I was on a TV shoot yesterday up in a town called Bay. It's not even a town. It is literally a bend in the road. It's called Bay Center, Washington. And what it is, is a place where there's a lot of processing of oysters. so it's it's on willapa bay which is a place where there are a lot of um like oyster production and aqua aquaculture i guess they call it and stuff and i'm doing a story about the kind of like tinned fish trend have you has any of this made its way into your life at all like even on instagram or if you've been in the store have you noticed that there's a lot of like really high quality and high design kind of like canned fish that's available these days depending on the store you're

Well, yeah, I mean, this is one of those things where it's already the way I heard about it tainted the way I think about it, because the first I heard of the tinned meat trend was on this like uber sarcastic, pretty dark, weird Instagram thing that just makes fun of trends and hipsters. And it's called like MCM PCW. I can't remember exactly what it is, but it just makes it's like Portland based, making fun of people who get way too into like fake mid-century modern shit. It just makes fun of like kind of our people a lot, but not even our people. It's just I don't know how to describe this. It's very dank. OK, so you very dank memes. And you basically found out about it through a thing that was already roasted. It was just roasting the shit out of like, oh, you know, like making priorities for tinned meats. It's really hard to describe the sort of the memes that this person creates. But anyway, it is an interesting follow. But anyway, so I already heard about it when I was just kind of like, oh, God, these freaking hipsters and their tinned meat.

Well, it's tinned fish, which I think is a big difference because I don't think I would want to eat any tinned meat like, you know, tinned beef or something. But yeah, I didn't have much of a thought about it. I had seen some things bouncing around the internet, and then a producer at the show, at the TV show, was like, hey, do you want to do a story about this? And we're going to talk to a person who's kind of started this company, and kind of the main, not the main company, but a big company that's now doing this called Fish Wife. I was like, sure. So we went up to the processing place, because where this is, some of this stuff is canned, the salmon part of it is canned up in this place, Bay Center, Washington. And it is kind of an interesting story to me, Because for a long time This stuff has been very popular in Spain And Portugal Which I vaguely remember from when I was in Spain years ago Like it wasn't weird to be like At a restaurant and for them to Like you order it and it's like they bring you out Some like sardines or something But it's actually way good Like it's very tasty It's not like the way we in America Like if you think about a cartoon From your childhood I swear most of the plot was someone being forced to eat a sardine like someone's always pulling a sardine out of a can it always reeks my theory is that a lot of cartoons were drawn by or the plot was written by people who were former world world war ii veterans maybe that was the timing of like like you know you got out of the service and then you moved to la and then you you know you caught on with like looney tunes or warner brothers but what you remembered was like being in the service being in a foxhole eating a ration so now elmer fudd is eating a sardine that's gross which is also just strange to think about how much of our my childhood through cartoons was probably shaped by people who had ptsd from a whole other phase of their life who are somehow animators now but anyway uh so the point is i'm going out to talk to a woman named becca milstein who founded this company and i will say this in i guess you could say her defense i was like how much of this is just a branding coup like you came up with a really clever idea which is like i'm gonna like start this cool brand called fishwife i'm gonna make it really aspirational we're gonna get cute boxes and then we're just gonna like people are gonna buy it because they want this to be their lifestyle she goes that is a really good question that is a little bit how it started off but it ended up going into a whole thing i didn't really expect which was and i mean this like i this was my genuine sense of this person i talked to was that, first of all, she's super brilliant and has actually created this really interesting sustainable food thing where all of the stuff that's being put in these cans is being sourced ethically, which is pretty challenging to know that this is coming from a kind of fish that you can fish without destroying the population. Anyway, there's a lot that goes into it, and this person really knew every single phase of it. In fact, part of the problem was it was descending a lot of times

into incredibly specific technical stuff about this

process so i was impressed by that i was i guess i went in thinking this is just a branding thing this is just slapping a cool brand on something that someone else is already making and then selling it and it turned out to not be the case but this is the thing andrew that i got a little and i texted you about this yesterday as i was also doing some research on the company and on the the co-founder um becca it made it very easy to remember her name because i'm dating someone named Becca, so that really helped. I happened to peep the Instagram page for the company, and then I happened to peep the Instagram page for the co-founder, Becca, and I happened to realize that her partner, and the person she lives with, and the person who films in the house, or I should say the apartment they live in, in L.A., is none other than your friend and mine, Petey USA.

And so are you going, you're going to go there to interview her so you'll be in the apartment

no I've already interviewed we've already interviewed her she flew up from LA so we interviewed her in Bay Center Washington

oh yeah you said that sorry

no that's okay it's confusing because there's a few different locations

and things I'm also trying to buy a shirt here I think I can spend $28.50 on this it's worth it for Judy they don't sell them on her website that's just old comedy records and stuff so I'm just giving 30 bucks to some rando who's drafting off of somebody else's art

But I don't care. I want it. Go ahead. So. So anyway, what I was trying to do, because, again, the founder, Fishwife, the founder of this company is a very ambitious and accomplished person and was a great interview. I mean, just, again, really smart, really outgoing, really good at explaining this stuff and doing something. I mean, this is like a very huge company that this person started and has been running for the last couple of years. And it is, I can say definitively, not just like an Instagram shtick. And that's why we're there. We're there to talk to her about what she's doing. And in the back of my mind is also this thing that's spinning, which is like, I was obsessed with your boyfriend for the first year of the pandemic. And we have played his music, and we have talked about him extensively on this program. now I would have it would have been easier if the genders were reversed I would have no problem asking a guy about I would have no problem saying to a guy I was interviewing oh by the way I'm a really big fan of your partner's work on like TikTok or musically if that partner was a woman but I was very worried about I did not want it to be even in the first 20 things that we talked about sure yeah because I did not want it to be like oh hey cool job starting this massive company now that's a huge success um but anyway your uh boyfriend does funny videos on tiktok can we talk about him like i did not want that to be how it felt at all yeah and also i think that there is

something about pd or pd usa as he's known on tiktok and of course as a musician pd um there is something about and you know me i don't go in for super gendered things i'm sure a lot of people enjoy his his tiktoks and all of his art but there's something specifically about his music that is about male friendship and like tender male friendship, which I actually like, that somebody kind of sings about that without feeling insecure about it. But I think because of that and because of his whole vibe, it's almost like, I don't know, almost culty, I would say, with a certain type of person. And a lot of those people are probably guys like you and me and our friend Hauser, who also has met P.D. a couple of times and is always worried about like at what point does he start creeping out, peaty when he's showing up at all those concerts and wearing his hats or whatever which we've talked about on the show i think so like i wonder if becca also just hears that a lot specifically from a certain kind of person you know what i mean that might also add a layer to it not just not just he's famous but like oh yeah i'm one of those what's the word acolytes or i'm one of those

i'm in the peaty cult well that was kind of and when we did end up talking about it i said i think i'm a pretty big fan of your boyfriend and she was like oh yeah and i go and that's probably something that you get a lot from somebody like me she goes oh yeah it's um like she goes it's pretty interesting to walk around la and just see a certain kind of guy who just had his entire day made yeah yeah that's interesting yeah um and uh and and luckily it wasn't the very first thing that i brought up but then when we did start talking about it somebody else who was there For the production Was like oh what's his music like She goes it's kind of for guys And there's some screaming But I was like but it's more than that I was like it's more than that Here I have his record here listen listen I mean honestly I was like I feel the need to really let I feel the need to really let you know How meaningful what this person is doing Is to a lot of you know people Guys like me I guess It would

Would it have been a real trip? Oh, sorry. It sounds like maybe you're going somewhere. Because, again, I sort of lost the thread of the, you had said where you'd met up. But then I was, like, picturing, oh, she lives there. And, like, he must shoot all of his TikTok videos. I assume, like, a lot of those are in his own apartment. So it would be weird for you to go there to interview Becca and then, like, see the backdrop of all of these videos that you've seen.

Well, that was the thing. I said, well, where do you, where does he make most of the videos? She goes, either at our place or at, like, his agent's office or something. And I think his agent is also his friend who holds the camera.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's his kind of creative director.

I think, yeah, he's at the concerts. And I was like, I go, is your place the one with all the wood? She goes, yeah, yeah. And I was like, I felt the way maybe a 10 might feel. Somebody who's really into this show about walking through this. Although the thing is, the Hey Dummies videos I've made in this apartment are nowhere near as interesting or inventive as the videos that Petey has made for TikTok. but i was like it was a very interesting spot for me to be in because i was like i was i was sort of talking to somebody who's been in this apartment who lives in this apartment where a lot of stuff that i've watched particularly during the early parts of the pandemic has gone down and it was i was sort of geeking out in a way that is unusual for me and the bigger story is um i was like she was like oh you he has a new record coming out you know by the way he's on i think he's on atlantic he got signed in fact they're shooting him he's shooting a video in new york right now i was like we should have him on the on my podcast where he plays music he says oh yeah totally so my question to you is should we have pd on the show oh yeah down for that absolutely i think that'd be wonderful yeah but we're only going to ask him about fishwife that i feel like

that that would be a good turn of events yeah that would be really funny yeah no i think that'd be good you know i mean i'm always a little bit uh insecure about interviewing people that we that kind of we don't know and this is on me not on you you're you've done it a million times and you're good at it but like you know i don't want it to there's something nice about having our friends on like chris or or who whomever else even if they're known if they're known in the wider world outside of tbtl but they know tbtl we can chill with them like i think that i'm never great at talking to people i don't know that well on tbtl you know what i mean because you want to have some questions prepared but you don't want to sound like you're reading questions or whatever So that's just that's my thing. But I think that, like, people would like to hear from Petey.

I also think I'll have an in because Becca said Petey said his mom was so excited that she was going to be on CBS Sunday morning. Oh, wow. So I can play that angle. I'll be like, hey, I work on your mother's favorite Sunday morning viewing. So let's get down. Let's get the real dirt on this whole thing.

You can even Jeff Garland him a little bit, like kind of make it unclear what he's showing up for. And then he shows up and it's just like me with my beard sitting there.

I realized when we were doing the 4000th and we were talking to Jen Flash Andrews about some early TBTL memories, how the Jeff Garland thing, when you booked that and you kind of you certainly didn't actively lie to him, but you also maybe didn't actively tell him he was coming to a house.

Because I believe the I believe some sort of publicist reached out to me about having them on the Cairo radio show we were working on at the time. And I think, you know, I wrote back. I'm like, you know, it doesn't work for that. But we have this other podcast that's related, like, you know, because what's the difference? Come on and talk to Luke and David or come on and just talk to Luke. They don't know what the difference between the podcast and the radio show is. And so I just sort of like I was honest, but fudged it a little bit, you know.

Well, it worked great Because I thought we got a good interview out of it But also Jeff Garland was very confused Yeah, certainly, yeah, yeah Although he then later, I mean, you know, not only the kind of Stuff that seemed well over the line In terms of propriety Jokes that he was making on the set of the Goldbergs And the way he was treating people There was the stuff that seemed like it was Legitimately an HR violation And then there was just a lot of people saying He just didn't seem like a pleasant person

Yeah, that's the thing

Which is funny because I always attributed his demeanor when we talked to him being the way it was for a while because he was confused that he was at my house but now i'm like maybe he's just not a very pleasant person either yeah i do think he's sort of i think he loosened up i think it was fine once we were going yeah all that was to say when we were talking to jen she was reminding us of this story of a time we had the band the kills on who had also come to a place they basically had showed up at at a radio station that they were at the either the wrong station or didn't know where they were coming and i realized most Most of our good guests are people who, what we do is we set up the microphones and the mixer, we dig a pit, we put them in there, we cover it with leaves, and then if someone falls in, we get a good interview. That's kind of our approach to getting big name guests. Is that wrong? Morally and ethically, yes. But I mean, is it wrong? Deeply.

okay we gotta um before we uh go to the emails and v-mails i need to talk about this tape that you were playing for me before the show of jose andres the the celebrated chef and by the way humanitarian so you were i guess you're not uh familiar with with this uh fellow and andrew but he's um he's got an i i don't know if he started in dc but he's got some pretty big sort of flagship restaurants in dc i'm guessing he's expanded to other parts of the country too he's on a lot of those cooking shows but what he's also done that's really interesting is he has this program where he he raises money and then goes out and cooks these big meals for all kinds of like important he'll like be he'll show up at a hurricane he'll show up at any kind of humanitarian crisis and just like help make sure that the people who've suffered through it are getting fed the first responders are getting fed he's done this and i guess i would say i don't want to name any other names because i don't want to sound like i'm i don't want to sound like i'm i'm being critical of anyone who helps in any way but he he's somehow he's doing all this without it seeming like he's like look at me if that makes any sense like there are certain kinds of people that go out and do good stuff but they they don't miss a chance to really promote themselves doing the good stuff and my sense with jose andres is that that's not really how he kind of um how he goes about this stuff and i there's some real there's some some sort of evidence and data around this the the stuff that he does as being like pretty like sort of impactful in the lives and the experience of of um of the people that are suffering through various things he may have even gone to ukraine to cook for folks like uh it's called world central kitchen it's a non-profit devoted to providing meals in the wake of natural disasters anyway so this is jose andres but i started to see this video and i just thought whatever he's talking about strawberries i saw this on tiktok so i nexted it but then you played it for me in its entirety today and i find it to be absolutely wild yeah now i'll play it here i do want to give

a little bit uh of a shout out to a listener who sent it in i'm sorry i don't have your name in front of me right now but um yeah somebody a in dc okay well he is a self-promoter j.a. in dc um but it was sent to me as like you said a tiktok and so it was sort of like all chopped up with weird music in places and i was listening to it i was like oh this is interesting it could make even maybe interesting like opening tape for our show but i i wanted to hear the full thing without all of the music so i did a little googling around and i found this on youtube and this is This is the longer version, about 90 seconds here.

You know I peel my strawberries. What? Yeah. Go on. Do you ever have a peel strawberry?

No.

Okay, you told me before that you put people to help when you bring people to do something.

Yeah, yeah.

You know we all have that kind of, even if he's a good friend, kind of that moment that you are concentrated in trying to feed everybody and somebody annoying, asking too many questions, it's annoying. and I always put them to do a few things like peeling garlic and start smashing it in the mortar peeling blueberries I actually put blueberry

okay so I want to just pause aside from the peeling of blueberries which we'll hear more about in a second just in case anybody wasn't able to hear what he was saying there it's kind of like you're cooking and you're doing something you have a friend come over who's a little bit annoying and so you give them a task like could you just peel the garlic just like get out of here you give them a little task like peeling garlic and then he just throws in there like peeling blueberries. Before you jump in on that, let's hear what he

says about the blueberries. Peeling blueberries? I actually put blueberries. Yeah, you peel blueberries. They're so much better. You make a sauce with the skins, but then the blueberries, yellow, greenish, whitish, depends. With that super red, reddish, purplish, whatever is the different colors of the different skins

of the blueberries. Now that sounded like that shocked you, the idea of peeling

the blueberries. Oh my god!

he unmuted yes because think about the size of a blueberry and well first of all i enjoy the skin on a blueberry because i like the little snap you know you bite into it and at first it's a little firm uh and then it's sort of you know you you snap through the the the the peel on the blueberry i guess the skin and then you know the inside it kind of is this nice little like burst of blueberry flavor like i just feel like if you tasked me with peeling a blueberry there would be nothing left there would be a tiny little kind of sad limp thing in the middle and then this like this i mean part of it is because i have no knife skills whatsoever but that just seems like an impossible thing to peel a blueberry that seems like something that again a task you give someone just so they'll go away and and then they come back with like 10 of them and they're like inedible

yeah well so much to say here first of all if you were to peel a blueberry i don't know that you would use a knife maybe like because the blueberry has that little like

the little scrunchie at the top of it. I wonder if you could sort of just peel it off naturally with your hands, but you're right. They're so tiny that I don't, I can't imagine how you then eat it. Like how is it presented? like, You know, so now you have what a, do you have a bowl full of peeled blueberries? That sort of seems like that weird prank that it wasn't a prank. It was actually totally a normal thing that you would do on Halloween. but I was such a little turd that I went to some Halloween party in grade school and I was the first person to have to play the what's in the box game. And this was not kids torturing me or anything. This was just like the adult sanctioned games at a Halloween party.

It's like spaghetti noodles, but it feels like guts or something.

But I think I was the first one to do it and I put my hand in there and they told me it was like eyeballs or something, but it was peeled grapes. And I remember being like, oh no. And they had to really calm me down. It was really embarrassing.

Listen, you're talking to somebody who, upon trick-or-treating, went to one house. The lady was dressed like a witch. I ran home and hid under the bed. So I just want you to know who you're talking to.

I called the local priests. But anyway, so that's a memory. That's a bad memory. Not of something bad that happened to me, but just how I wish I had acted differently in the moment. But even a peeled grape, especially depending on the grape, you can sort of see it. Yes. But like peeled blueberries, again, do you just have a bowl of peeled blueberries? How are people eating them? Like, I can share regular blueberries if, you know, your hands are clean and you're just picking up one blueberry. But, like, once you have peeled blueberries, like, that's a mess, right?

And they're kind of mushy. Well, I'm looking at something on Reddit, mildly interesting, that says, I peeled a blueberry. This is from 11 years ago. And what I will say is it is green the way that Jose Andres kind of described it. Like, it looks like a blueberry. It still has its scrunchie on, Andrew. by the way that's my new favorite way to describe that and all the rest of the skin of the blueberry is gone and it is in fact green underneath which that's news to me i would have assumed a blueberry is blue on the inside because i'm a very simple man that's interesting i want to take a look at

a peeled blueberry yeah it doesn't look bad of course i'm also looking at some pretty big blueberry where are people getting these blueberries they're huge should i go back to the tape here do you want to hear more about the strawberries one thing that i want to throw out though is you hear another voice in here and this is um jose andres talking with tamar adler now that is not somebody that you know right this is another no i believe tamar adler is maybe a lifestyle journalist for vogue or something along those lines she looks so familiar to me i thought she was an actress but anyway um let's go back to the tape so that's the peeled blueberries and then he goes on to

talk about strawberries some more i said then he goes back to talk about strawberries oh my god is amazing but i love to peel the strawberries it's nothing like when your lips content a skinless strawberry you understand that this strawberry was created by you by all because almost fits perfectly beautiful lips uh a pillage strawberry my friend it's it's if if if you never had the peeled strawberry you don't understand strawberries well i mean obviously we gotta try it

yeah it could be a good hay dummies that's a great idea i already did one for this week but maybe next week we can do a peeled strawberry i want to can you picture what it looks like is that you definitely need a knife for right like how what's the skin it's just i'm looking at some pictures

and it's kind of underwhelming um because it just seems like it's not like so the blueberry when i'm looking at a peeled blueberry it looks radically different than a regular blueberry a peeled strawberry just seems like you kind of went over with a carrot peeler yeah like a slippery little strawberry because as you get further into the strawberry it would appear that it's still more or less like a strawberry like some of the seeds the the seeds are are diminished but the it doesn't look like you there's not some kind of how am i there's no hard to describe is it like

no skin right it's not like you're you're not taking the clothes off like you are the blue

Exactly. You're changing a little bit the appearance of it, but it still looks mostly like a strawberry.

Is this going to be slippery?

Well, you know what, Andrew? This is something we can find out on the Hey Dummies video.

Yeah, we should do that. Yeah, definitely. I'm interested in doing this. You know what I housed last night was half, and this is maybe interesting, I housed half of what they call a Rainier beer.

Yeah. No, because I saw your bottle cap, that's why.

Oh, no, that was Kevin, I think. I didn't know you were on that chain. Oh, sorry. But I was going to say a personal watermelon. Do you ever see these in the grocery store? I think it's one of the funniest things. I mean, I don't know how many funny things are in grocery stores, but they have the small, almost perfectly spherical watermelons, and they're called personal watermelons. Have you noticed this?

I didn't know they were called. Oh, yeah.

Keep an eye out.

And you say spherical. We mean I'm.

I'm sorry, this is literally how bad I am at geometry, meaning kind of like a perfect little ball or is it a different shape?

As opposed to being oblong. You think of a watermelon as being oblong, and I know you've seen them. I know you've had them. There's like these smaller watermelons, but they're the size of, I'm going to say a volleyball maybe. I mean, they range in size. It's all part of God's plan. But they're called personal watermelons, which is funny for a couple of reasons because, number one, anybody our age will go around the store singing your own personal watermelon the rest of the the rest of the day um secondly it's too big to be personal like i mean again like i ate a lot of this watermelon last night and i ate half of this personal watermelon so like it's it's like it should be i don't know it's a social watermelon it seems more like it's so it's a thruples watermelon i don't know like i don't it's more than two people but less than five um but anyway yeah so uh just keep an eye out for it but boy it's my first watermelon of the uh of the season and then i uh and i of course put it in the fridge first like i'm pretty i feel pretty strongly not unlike jose andres i feel very strongly about the temperature of my fruit like and i know we've talked about this before i'm not one of those people who's going to talk your ear off i'm not

one of those people who's going to be like you're eating personal watermelon it doesn't mean i think

i'm better than everyone else but i hate pretending like there's a right way or a wrong way obviously it's just a matter of taste you're eating that hot dog wrong um but having said that i do have trouble wrapping my mind around eating warm fruit unless it's supposed you know unless it's like cooked or something like a peach cobbler but like a nectarine a peach an orange a watermelon like that should all be as cold as possible once it's like at the right ripeness

I don't disagree in fact I had a couple slices of room temperature mango yesterday when we were doing the shoot and no not a good tactile experience

but a good cold mango my god

Did you hear that little hiccup in the audio, Luke?

What's going on? I thought that was just, no, I thought that was something that came down the line. That was on your end, too.

Yeah, I guess so. My computer's giving up on me, but you know who is not giving up? on the blurs days listener tracy who says i'd like to wish my birthday twin jackie the happiest of blurs days hey i think we saw we heard from jackie wishing a happy blurs day to tracy last week if i'm not wrong uh not only are we tens but also leos the fiercest of the signs in my mind

i think a lion what who wins in a lion versus a bull but i'm a sagittarius isn't that what is

a Sagittarius. I thought it was like dragon-y. I think it's a goat. Is it? That's not as cool as a dragon.

No, no, no. I'm gonna, like, Sagittarius animal. Yeah, what is it? No, dude, it's actually pretty dope.

It's a centaur. Right? I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything about this world. I'm not very fierce, though.

No, I think a centaur might win because the picture I'm looking at has a bow. Like a bow and arrow because it's like a human. You're like a human. It's like a horse, then becomes a man, and then you have a bow and arrow.

And it's got a bow tie and those cufflinks, like the Chippendales. Yeah. Exactly.

So no, I think the Sagittarius would win because you could shoot the other animals from afar. And that, by the way, is exactly how astrology works. Sorry, Jackie.

You do not have the toughest sign. Tracy says, well, the Leo is the fiercest of the signs in my mind. I've had health challenges this year, and Jackie is so caring, checking in on me and sharing kind words. Jackie, it was great to see you at the 4,000th. Hope you had a wonderful birthday. You deserve all the things. Happy Blur's Day, Jackie. Yeah, and we got to see Jackie at the show as well. I talked to Tracy and Jackie at the thing. Nice. Rachel says, hey, these are our pals Rachel and Ivan over there in the Netherlands. I think we talked to Ivan on the telephone.

Rachel just put a book out, I believe.

Indeed. Indeed, and Rachel says, Ivan, happy first Blur's Day of TBTL's independent era, or as they say in Dutch. Ah, jeez, this is why I should send these to you. Because of my well-known abilities in Dutch. Because of your go-for-it-ed-ness. That was harder to say. Get felicitiered? Get felicitiered? I can't say that word.

But anyway, it translates to congratulations. And because it's customary in the Netherlands to congratulate the birthday person's family and also the host of the birthday celebration, congrats to your parents, your brother, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, and Luke and Andrew. And maybe also, to me, here's to another year of expat adventures in Amsterdam and beyond.

That's really sweet. Also, I'm glad we're finally getting congratulated in the Blur's Day messages. It's long overdue. Do I say Amsterdam funny? Which reminds me of my one good joke I think I made on this show, which was when I was growing up, my parents were so strict, we had to call it Amsterdam.

Phil says, sending heartfelt Blur's Day shout outs to Sarah in Broadview, my amazing partner in family building. I'm proud as punch to call myself your husband. Family building?

Is that a vertical? Are we playing in the – as far as exploring the family building space, we really want to get our verticals together.

I'm proud as punch to call myself your husband as I see all the things you do for us knuckleheads. I'm looking forward to wrapping up our sensational summer in style and downshifting into a slimy fall. I love the bejesus out of you. That is really sweet. That's really sweet. I love your use of language. Happy Blursday, Sarah and Broadview. Oh, that's kind of it. That's kind of it, except I got this message from our friend Bruce, formerly or currently in Lake Stevens. I think formerly Bruce in Lake Stevens, now Bruce in, like, Athens, Alabama. Athens, Alabama. Okay, I thought that these are the folks who moved on to Athens. So I got this note via email from Bruce saying, recently my youngest son andrew yes the 14 year old prom baby tbtl prom baby is 14 years old now andrew uh recently my youngest son andrew received a wrong number voicemail it's quite something oh i don't know what to make of this other than that it's a very disturbing sound that i'm gonna play for you it starts off it starts off like it almost sounds like one of those novelty kind of voicemail things but it addresses the wrong person it doesn't say andrew here and then the tape gets you'll hear a little this is not my computer malfunctioning okay you'll hear the tape drop out a couple of times and then when it comes back it feels sped up or slowed down and we've missed time take a listen to this this is not this is not this is about 40 seconds and I have not edited this at all.

Hey, buddy, I heard it's your birthday, so I'm going to sing it on birth. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. Happy birthday to you. I love all the things you do. You're awesome, man.

And scene. Wow. How are you feeling? Let's do a quick check-in. How are you feeling? Both feet on the floor.

I'm nervous, but excited, but scared, but mostly excited. i mean first of all had that thing not gone kind of weird it could have been the new birthday music for the show that's how much i was liking how it started and then it got real it got real dark real fast because it got and i can't tell if that was intentional or not well it feels unintentional

especially the way it ends um but i don't know where the breakdown happened i'm assuming that That's how Andrew heard it on his phone. So I don't – was somebody trying to play this for their friend and was stopping and pausing it on their end? I would – I'm not going to do this on the fly. Maybe – you know what? Maybe – maybe – you know what? The last meeting I had with our direct supervisor, Beth, at American Public Media, she told me I need to learn to delegate more. And I said it's a little late to be telling me that now. And then I insisted on doing everything the rest of the meeting. but anyway maybe I can delegate this to the listeners like I feel like we can google some of these lyrics not just the happy birthday to you part I think I know what that's going to bring up but like at the end he uses some alternate lyrics I'm wondering if we can find the source of this this must be something that lives somewhere right

whenever there's trouble we're the Bloodhound Gang if you've got the crime we've got the time we're the Bloodhound Gang

This does feel like a bit of a mystery solvers.

In that, I would love to know exactly what you're talking about. Is this a piece of tape that's going around? Or was this something original that happened to Andrew's voicemail? And also, I'm wondering, was it one of Andrew's friends messing with him? Also, has it been Andrew's birthday lately?

Yeah. A lot of questions about this. A lot of questions. If Bruce and Andrew want to get back with us on more. Now, would you, I know it was somewhat upsetting, but can I play it one more time for our mystery solvers?

No, I want to hear it again.

And again, I'm going to play it from the beginning, no edits.

No notes.

Hey, buddy, I heard it's your birthday, so I'm going to sing it on birth. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Thank you. Happy birthday to you.

and that's where it ends and again there's weird stuff like you hear like somebody's making clucking sounds at one point like roger miller at the end and then there's a kid you hear a kid reacting at some point so it's like this might be a tape of a tape of a tape or something so So good luck, mystery solvers. Good luck, gum shoes.

I'll tell you, my first Googling of it did not bring back anything particularly helpful. This is something that pretty much only our friend P. Fletch will understand, but it sounds like Sour Shoes. Sour Shoes is a person who calls in to the Howard Stern show, actually didn't for a number of years, but is like a master impressionist of people on the show. So he does a great Gary Delebatte impression and a great Jackie the Joke Man impression. But then he intersperses it. He just does these wild stream of consciousness things where he's playing a little music in the background, like often live on his keyboard. He's doing impressions of the staff members of the shows. He's also but then he's also busting into this baby voice, kind of like that kid. This says if you're a stern listener, you will understand what I'm saying. That was powerful, sour shoes, vibrations. but i am really curious as to if that's a thing that's bopping around the internet that some one of andrew's friends thought would be funny to put on his voicemail yeah i feel i mean for me this has

the vibe of some old tape from like the 90s that might have gotten resurfaced and posted online i'm not exactly sure but um yeah i'm definitely intrigued by it i would love to have some closure to that in the same way that i have closure to this t-shirt situation it's on its way I don't have an ETA, but I now have probably at least a week, if not several weeks, to learn everything about Judy Tanuta so that I can wear this out in public without wondering if a security guard at the local QFC is going to question me.

What if you ran into that guy and along with his, what was the hat that he had?

Wait, are you talking about the security guard? I was wearing an Orioles hat. I didn't know I was wearing it out in public. And I'm going to say the security guard, probably in his 50s or 60s, who's two feet taller than me, started asking me about the Orioles.

But you did get the last laugh, you told me, when you were able to update him on the Orioles' standings in the American League East.

Exactly. A couple of, I guess maybe a week or two ago, I was back at the store, and I think it was just the day before that Baltimore won and the Rays lost or something. And I saw him there, and I don't think he remembered me, and I wasn't wearing my Baltimore hat. And I just said, hey, your Orioles are in first place. He's like, no, they're not. They're in second place. I'm like, no, dude, they're in first place. The Rays lost. And he's like, and then he does the thing that I do all the time, which is I think kind of an old man move. He's really grumpy. He says something grumpily to the worker at the grocery store, unrelated to our conversation. Then he picks up his phone, and he just says, whatever, AL East standings or Baltimore Orioles standings or whatever, As he's just, like, kind of walking away from me, he's halfway across the checkout lane, and I just hear him yell, Hey, they are in first place! Like, he was delighted, but I don't know if he was talking to me anymore. Sounds like a guy who loves his job. Yeah, he was weirdly, yeah, he's like a big walrus-y guy who lived in Baltimore for, he was a Baltimore cop most of his life, apparently. Wow.

Did you get into the, did you talk about the wire with him?

I did not get into the wire, but the first time we got into this conversation by the big cheese bin area, Which was very uncomfortable for me Because a lot of those cheeses are stinky these days

I was going to say also What are you doing playing in that space I was looking for some

Genevieve wanted some fresh mozzarella And I try to be a good guy Good for you But I don't like going there They have those areas now Like you have the regular dairy area Where shit is like kind of sealed up But then you have that area Where they have like the fancy cheeses And the whole area just stinks

It's not to me that it stinks It's that I'm always I'm always worried that I'm going to like inadvertently spend $35 on cheese. Oh, sure, yeah. Like, it's weird because there it's we this has come up a lot on the show recently, but the things that I tend to like waste money on or spend money on without thinking a whole lot about it. And then the things where I'm like, yikes, like high end cheese, because you can if you're not being real careful, I mean, you could be like, I'm going to make a cheese plate. And then you go to the like, even the Fred Meyer by me here has like a Murray's, which is a kind of branded like Murray's is a cheese shop. and now they've got the kind of in-store kind of brand exactly the one they have at qfc yes and like i've actually the people that work there the cheesemongers are like they're great it's like a cool scene and again there are other things that i might spend that kind of money on and not think about it a lot but i just think there's also the other cheese where i can just get some tillamook and like there's basically the like everyday cheese like i like to get those like little pre-sliced deals that little like you know tray that's got sliced like a little row of like pepper jack a row of cheddar a row of swiss that seems like it's like five bucks i can i can gnaw on that for a few days but if i'm in that expensive cheese area and i grab a little and the other thing too sometimes i'll be like what do you recommend and then they'll always be like this is just came in from spain it's really nutty and it goes great with a temper neo or something and And then I just I look at my bill and I'm like, how did I just spend one hundred and thirty dollars? And they're like, it's mostly because there was thirty dollars of cheese on the order. Yeah. Just get just get off your cheese habit, I say. Yeah. Well, anyway, I'm glad that I'm glad that you were able to show that guy what for.

I didn't show him what for. We were just chums. We're going to be best friends by the end of this because.

OK, but I do want you to wear your Judy Tenuta T-shirt into that store. And I want you to undo a couple of buttons, make sure it's really visible, and just see what his reaction is. I want you to parade right past him. Exactly.

All right. Okay, fine. We got a lot done, man. I got a t-shirt.

You got a t-shirt.

We have plans for the next Hey Dummies video?

I was trying to think if I bought anything while we were talking. No, I didn't.

I think you'd have to think about it. All right. Here comes the music. Anyway. Okay. Power out.

Thanks for listening, everyone. Hey, we're going to be back here tomorrow. Tomorrow's going to be my last day doing this show from here.

Oh, wow, geez, yeah, you're actually moving, that's all, we didn't talk a lot about that, we'll talk more about your move tomorrow, I think we have to, or Monday, that's a real, well, Friday and Monday, because that's a real, you're doing this in a very short period of time, and it's, yeah, I'm interested in kind of what your labor situation is, so let's talk.

Yeah, okay, I will tell you this, I booked the movers while I was at your and Genevieve's house, and I was wandering around the yard, your backyard.

Oh, when I tried to steal your... I heard you giving a credit card number, and I yelled to Genevieve, write this down.

Exactly. And we can talk about this more tomorrow, but it went remarkably well, the setup process, which has me worried that I'm in a scam of some kind because it was the easiest setup for one of these things I've ever done, and it was almost a little too easy. So we shall see. All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. We will be back here tomorrow on Friday with more Imaginary Radio for you. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to you all.

Hey, pigs! Let's party! Yes, I'm Judy! Yes, and I'm here to convert you to my religion, Judaism! Yes, yes, but some people may not. Look at all these little pseudo-virgins. Look at you! If you sit together long enough, you can all get your cycles at the same time. Power out.