Muse

Hey, what's up? Welcome to Pet Haven. I'm Jamie. And I'm Trish. Well, look who's up for adoption again at Portland Pet Haven. Rascal. Rascal's previous owner's returning because, ew, rascal. We're just trying to get rid of the dog at this point. This dog shouldn't be here, should be there. In your home. Just let him be with you. He's a really smart, super smart dog. I mean, he was able to find a baby's crib way upstairs.

ATL. Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is. It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

It's not all bad, I'm gonna tell you that. But it is more bad than good.

You sound like you might be a little bit jealous, babe. You know, and I know a little something about being jealous because people have been jealous of me my entire life.

and this this is your master plan huh oh no no no this is a whole other awesome thing this is just

a goof later tater all right hello good morning welcome everyone to a friday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live gotta do it again right now my name is luke burbank

i am your host i want to tell you how terrible my life is do you have about three hours

Coming to you from the Riverhouse studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where...

Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful.

I know I was supposed to be in Portland today, and I am going down there this afternoon, but I had a slight timing miscommunication, and it just made more sense for me to decamp. I went down to the big city yesterday, where is my friend Frankie Hoy? I say friend, just a person I follow on TikTok, who I think is really funny. the big city of Portland and had a meeting and then just came back here to my little country mouse hangout. And it is an absolutely beautiful day. And the temperatures will be in the survivable range, too. So that's an extra bonus. This is a bonus episode. Well, not really. I mean, we have to do it on Friday, I think, kind of contractually. But it is episode 4013 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

I guess the bonus is we have a lot of stuff to talk about. I am actually very excited to get into some of the various elements of today's show, including the question of how popular really is TBTL.

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

Well, I'll tell you how popular it is. Two of the stories that we've discussed this week on the show, it turns out the people in the stories are TBTL listeners. Now that's range, my friend. Speaking of radio broadcasts, you know that guy named Kevin Brown?

Rolo Tony Brown Town.

He is the play-by-play announcer for the Baltimore Orioles. He was suspended for simply stating that the team is doing better than it was in previous seasons. He was calling a game yesterday. I believe Orioles were visiting the San Diego Padres. And, well, he really proved his worth, I think, as a broadcaster. And this is not a baseball story, I want to clarify. It's a story about power punk music that originated in San Diego. So we'll get into that. And then also, there is a TV commercial that is...

Television is no friend of mine.

...playing on constant loop when I'm watching my over-the-air TV broadcast, as I am wont to do. And I find it irrationally frustrating. By that I mean, I'm getting more mad about it than I should. It doesn't really matter. But I know there's one person that I can share this with, and that's my good friend Andrew Walsh, the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships, the grace, the splendor, and all that intricate rigging. He lives by one simple credo. I have been pitying fools for 28 years, Bill, and it's never personal. He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning. Was I making weird noises during your intro?

No, I did hear what sounded like maybe your mic coming on a little earlier than normal. I heard what maybe sounded like the background noise of your studio, but you weren't saying anything.

Okay, good. Yeah, I just went to unmute myself, and I was already unmuted, and I don't know when that happened. And so I didn't know if I was over here like doing scary, just like clearing my throat, maybe doing some scatting. That's kind of my warm up exercises, you know, mumbling things like, yeah, you do a lot of baby, baby, rubber, baby, buggy bumpers. And so anyway, yes, it would have been weird if you were doing your intro and I was just over here coughing or making weird grump.

sounds but uh i'm glad that's not the case hello good morning no you sounded you sounded poised uh professional you weren't muttering anything mean to yourself i mean i thought as far as hot mic moments go on this show i think that was that actually was pretty good you don't think this is

gonna make the tabloids the andrew hot mic moment he said andrew caught on a hot mic sat there politely waiting for somebody to introduce him yes that's the um you know you gotta eat that microphone um do you have any big weekend plans my friend waiting for you to ask me that all week my friend really this is the weekend this is the weekend i know what your plans are i know what

your plans are everybody watch out at goldie's watch out everybody watch out in my in the in

the 500 feet that surround me because uh i probably won't be leaving my property this weekend i might i might go to goldie's watch an early baseball game i don't know i was thinking about that today I was thinking, I went to Goldie's, it's very rare for me to go to Goldie's, the card room in Shoreline, but I went there last weekend by myself on a solo mission just to eat some wings and watch a Mariners game, and what I liked about it is there's complete anonymity, nobody knows me there, it's a totally different world, you know what I mean? like just hanging out at Goldie's. It's really the opposite of cheers. Yeah, nobody knows my name.

Where nobody knows your name.

It was sort of that, like there's no way that anybody, I mean, I know that you and my crew go there late at night to gamble sometimes, but like there's no way somebody's going to run into me there at Goldie's watching an afternoon ball game.

I could see today when this show is published, I mean, I told you, Andrew, two of the people we discussed this week on the show our listeners and and are checking in in one way or another about this program in other words someone could hear this today and then they could beeline it for goldies i mean legally you can't

stop them well that is true then you're going to be sitting there i'll just post the show late from goldies good that's a good outcome the seventh inning nobody will know i'm there here's the other thing though this is an awful thing to say but i was literally thinking this is this morning because we haven't really gotten into my weekend yet but i was toying with the idea of maybe i sneak away there's an early baseball game on and so like five o'clock you know first pitch nobody would be there i can get the prime seat at the bar there there's this little place where like the bar the two corners meet but then there's like a one stool it's sort of the cross section so you're sort of like in the middle of the bar with the tv right in front of you watching every single pitch eating wings and here's what i was thinking another thing this is a really tragic thing to say But the reason it's also appealing to me is I know from my time there last Friday and listening to the interaction between the patrons and the bartenders that no matter what I ever do there, I will always be their best customer. I will always be the person they have to worry about the least like just people openly I guess I have not been in this kind of setting in a long time where just like the drunk just the drunk gamblers at the bar just like openly hitting on the servers and either that or grumpy people who've lost to pull tabs or whatever like and I'm just like oh my god like I could you know the only thing I might do is accidentally I wasn't even going to say talk too much but that's not even really the case with me at a bar I'm just going to, the only thing that I might do is maybe, the only thing I might do is accidentally tip too much, you know, like there's not even a jukebox to get me in trouble at Goldie's, you're right, that would be the one trap, but no, there's not even that to get me in trouble.

It's the ultimate good boy Andy fantasy, because you know you'll be the goodest boy there.

I'm the goodest boy there, Luke, so I might do that. That sounds great, but the reason is though, I just said that this weekend was circled on my calendar, is just because I've just been, you know, we had a lot of summer stuff related to tbtl then the last few weeks we had out of town visitors and i don't want to you know we had some great times with our out of town visitors but several in a row plus genevieve's big party a couple of weeks ago like i have not had just like a straight up nothing on my calendar except for andy times genevieve's going out with a big group of our friends to have a well that's the thing uh yeah cabin at the lake weekend so it's also like you know i'm lord of the castle here i'm on nobody's timeline except for mine not that she holds me back from anything but it's just like it's complete unadulterated andy times with no visitors nothing on the schedule no plans

the only timeline i'm on is my own the thing is when uh we were getting ready to to get rolling today i said oh i have this kind of what i think is sort of a fun plan for this weekend or maybe i don't know fun but an interesting plan and you said i do too and i thought oh that's interesting he is going to the lake because i was like i thought he's skipping that and then of course When I heard actually on the show your tone of voice, I was like, no, his interesting plan is everyone he knows and loves goes somewhere else. Because that's why this is so thoroughly delightful for you. It's not just Genevieve, the love of your life. you know, going to do something fun for a weekend, leaving you there. It's literally almost everyone you know in a 15-mile radius will all be in the same place far away from you, and you will just be totally and completely not beholden to anyone. It's something about your entire friend group decamping to somewhere else. That's just, that's got to be the, that's the highest peak that Andy Times can ever climb to.

But not only that, Luke, because I also have a project, and this is where the listeners are going to get worried about me and they shouldn't it's fine but I do think it's funny um one of my one of my friends in this friend group before setting off to the lake house cabin let me borrow something that I'll be using this weekend which is a chainsaw on a pole my friend a chainsaw on a pole the hedges in the back are out of control and last they were out of control when we moved in and I did a little bit of like kind of trimming them back but this time I'm like no no these are mine I need to take I need to take control of them these things are so wide I'm going to try to have them if that makes sense I'm going to try to make them half as wide as they are now which is just going to be a huge job too big for my hedge trimmer so my friend gave me his pole saw which is an electric pole saw I am so excited about this the only concern is I will be using a chainsaw for the first time while everybody I know and love is out of contact i told my friend anna who's a listener of the show and i volunteer with her on sundays i'm like hey listen i just want to make sure you're around next sunday or next saturday uh not because i i'm not because i'm inviting you to do anything but you're the only person i know in town now so if i cut my nose off i want to make sure you can drive me to the er this really could be you could

be lying in that yard for a long time before anybody figures out it's gone sideways i want to mention too not just uh as a flex but mostly as a clarification i was invited to this lake weekend because when this first came up on the show i semi-jokingly said i don't think i was invited to that and then our friend rodin who's putting it together was like like literally two hours later was like oh you were totally invited i have the text i was like yeah i was just being hilarious and he was like oh okay but i want to in case anyone thinks that um that that i was being uh you know not invited or something i was invited i am the thing is andrew i i wouldn't say that i'm i'm becoming more like you but i some of it's just this house some of it is that you know everything is a little bit of a longer trip for me now you know from down here up to these friend activities um i i it sounds very fun to me but also it's just it's like a little bit further than i probably want to drive today through traffic and then coming home on sunday and and uh anyway i appreciate the invite it sounds like a really fun weekend i'm i do have a little bit of fomo but i have a big weekend of tonight seeing the barbie movie oh down in i'm going down to portland beck and i are gonna see the barbie movie tonight and then tomorrow this is what i'm very excited about she scored two free tickets to the street of dreams which is one of those things where they just like build all of these insanely gaudy mcmansions and i think they're all like on the same block or something or they're close to each other and you can take a tour and our plan is to it's also out by this one weird winery that we like where it's like this winery is run by this couple the guy made all his money in pallets he was like the pallet king of oregon like you know wood pallets like you know my mom's favorite thing yeah that's funny i feel like there

was somebody else in my life in a different part of the country who made their fortune in pallets i mean not a fortune a modest a living but um i might be confusing them with pellets i think you know what no i'm thinking of somebody who was way into pelletizers i could see i could

definitely see the confusion there's really one letter yeah okay sorry but we got to go back to the street of dreams thing but okay okay yeah so this so there's this winery um and and by winery I don't even know if they yeah I think they grow the grapes there but there's basically this winery that is really close to Portland that Becca and I like to go to not even because the wine is very good like there's really great wine obviously in the Willamette Valley they're famous for their Pinot Noir and all of that this place is not that this is a place that just has like a bunch of wild cats roaming the property and this big kind of glass circular dining like I don't know hangout area where you can sit and look it has very beautiful views and then the husband and wife who own it their house and they again they i know he was the pallet king of oregon because i've had many long conversations with this dude um they just they have people that work there they're sort of there's a certain kind of people that get into like winemaking later in life who made a bunch of money doing something else and they clearly just probably liked going and wine tasting

They're like, what are we going to do, you know, for our golden years?

Yeah, every celebrity, every football player ends up making a wine.

So they have their house. They have this infinity pool, and then they have this kind of area where, like, you know, the members of the wine club, which we are not, come and do, like, a tasting. And what we like about it is it has really beautiful views. It's close. and it's these the the guy is just this old i mean just he's just he's a guy who definitely puts back a lot of wine every day and just kind of wanders around chatting with people and then his wife is so adorable she is dolled up to the nines like not a not a hair out of place and you could see her walking from the house over to where you have the wine with her whole little get up on her boots with the fur like so they're just kind of there holding court um and it just seems like a fun place i'm so every time i'm there if i have like more than 1.5 glasses of wine i get very tempted to join their wine club for this reason in the winter time there is a polar bear plunge in the swimming pool which if you are a member of the wine club you come for this big party where they actually break out all this really fancy wine that's not stuff they've made it's like stuff from their wine cellar and then everybody i think gets fairly tuned up and then you jump in the swimming pool and the rule is your entire head has to go underwater i know all this from talking to the guy and if you do that you get your name put on this plaque that's the polar bear club of this this little winery anyway it just so happens that this particular place is in like a mere miles from where the street of dreams is and as i told becca i was like you know what sounds really fun to me to just get just a mild buzz on just the right amount of buzz and then just go judge rich people just walk through these street of dreams houses just going this is absolute shit so the

street of dreams is i'm looking at this now it's something that's put on by the by the home builders

association of oregon or something are you unfamiliar with the general concept i'm i'm a hundred percent unfamiliar with this oh wow um yeah i used to just hear so many commercials for it when i was a kid on like the radio like the street of dreams it's and i've never even been to one but my my my assumption was it's again a bunch of these like ridiculous houses i don't know if they're people must live in them because i can't imagine there'd be like five empty houses sitting there but maybe they just clear out or something i just know that it's way over the top it's a bunch of shit i wouldn't do in my house and it's going to be fun to be wandering around

these places mildly drunk i see yes and i've never heard of that before and i didn't realize that it's kind of a common occurrence it sounds like you know what i have you can tell me if this is a bad comparison but if you were to invite me to almost any event that would be at a convention center i'm talking about an rv show a camping show a uh like i'm trying to think i used to love going to those things and as you know and again now i'm not trying to flex here but as you know there's a period of my life where um uh i was the namesake for a grill that was being invented and marketed in northeast ohio called the andy man grill and that was the um the the side project of my dad and my uncle who was making who were making these big um uh grills out of 55 gallon drums but they were whatever make it yourself kits or whatever uh and so they would go to what are like outdoor shows what is what is the word i'm looking for like hunt they're not sportsman's yeah kind of sportsman's although i don't remember guns being there i could be wrong but like but the same thing a boat show whatever it is like i remember being a kid and just getting all kinds of tchotchkes like oh my god that that booth over there has all of the the rubber um uh keychain why am i having so many trouble with words what do you call the thing on the end of a fob is that we put on a keychain a little rubber fob that has maybe like white paint on it with a a tire

company's logo oh yeah i don't i i think i would just yeah i don't know what the term for that is And I also feel like we've really moved away from that culturally. Yeah, we have. That was huge when we were kids. And you picked a great example. Everyone who had a set of keys also had the Michelin Man on there. Yeah, right. Or it was like from a dealership, it was kind of like an oval-ish shape, and then it snapped. It was like a plastic kind of triangular, like rounded triangular thing, and it said GMC on it or something.

Yes, the triangular ones or the oval ones, which were hard plastic, But then you had the rubber ones, which were like about, what, a quarter of an inch thick, right? And translucent red or green plastic. And then with white, you know, screen print on it, like some sort of a simple logo with a catchphrase or something like that. Anyway, point is just like, if you said, hey, Andrew, do you want to get a little tuned up and go? Or even do you want to stay in the program and go to one of these?

I'd say absolutely, because it would give me sort of a sense, even though I wouldn't be there to buy anything or invest in anything, it would still give me a feeling. Is that sort of what you think this home thing will do, or am I barking up the wrong tree here?

Well, like I said, I've never been to one of these, and generally speaking, I don't think it would be that interesting. But the idea of being, you know, and again, I'm not trying to glorify drinking, but the idea of being just a little bit silly while going through it, that makes it sound fun to me, as opposed to, for me, just being like kind of coolly analyzing their marble countertop decisions or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I like the idea that we're going to go to this thing that we would never buy tickets for. Somebody just gave Becca the tickets. And but we're going to be like, I feel like we're going to be sort of undercover agents. We're going to be people that have even if we had the money to build one of these houses, these would not be the houses that we would build very likely. And it's this. And, you know, it's funny because this is I feel more your speed than mine rejecting the kind of opulence of of modern America or what is what now in modern America passes for. like you really made it like i think that's the kind of thing that you really eschew and i i eschew it less like i probably find it somewhat aspirational but in this case it just seems fun to walk through and just be like really that's what you spent fifty thousand dollars on that like i think it's just going to make me feel better about the fact that i live in a hovel which is counterintuitive right you would think because i i mean i'm like right now i'm just staring at a giant piece of black plywood that was from an illegal hog slaughter operation and a wasp nest that keeps filling up with wasps or yellow jackets. I still don't know the difference and some janky scaffolding that needs to be taken down pretty soon. That's my view when I'm doing the show, talking to you, you'd think walking through a street of dreams would give me a bad feeling. I think it's going to give me a good feeling for some reason, which makes almost no sense, but I'm, I'm going to try it out. the other thing that i really want to figure out are what are the logistics of this thing do they every year because again i used to hear every year this would be a big thing in seattle or in the northwest it was never in seattle by the way it was always in like issaquah do they literally build a street of dreams they build a street out of dreams is what they do literally um do the streets have a name or is this where the streets have no name like i'm being serious the logistics are weird to me do they build a street of houses with like five houses on it that are like their their idea of what a dream house could be and then people come look at the houses and then people buy them like this thing is just sitting there empty and you walk through all of them and then they go you know to the highest but i know there are people who would be very stoked to say uh our home was in the street of dreams in 2023 but are you saying that

like you buy it on the street of dreams and the street of dreams takes place somewhere else next year and then everybody who ends up living on the street they all basically moved in around the same time because they're all like street of dreams neighbors they're like oh yeah but we're the class

of 2023 we're the class of 2023 street of dreams we all started uh some kind of a stock market scam

is that your question around i honestly can't tell if i'm if you're being sarcastic because

that's my real question i don't like most of what i'm excited about is to figure out But again, I'm 47 years old, and for my entire childhood, I would hear these ads for the John L. Scott Street of Dreams in Issaquah. And now I'm going to one of them, and I will finally get an answer to my question of like, yeah, do they just build a block of way overbuilt, overpriced, fancy houses? And then everyone walks through them, and then the next week, they start fielding the offers, and then everyone who bought a house probably moves into it. And then you're just like, yeah, we all moved in around the same time because we all walked through here mildly drunk and bought one of these houses. Like, I just don't understand the logistics of the whole thing. And that's really what I'm interested in. Yeah.

Well, definitely report back on Monday. I'm excited to hear about it from the hospital.

All right. You report back. Hopefully you'll be able to report back. You won't have cut off some important part of your body with this chainsaw on a stick. You don't need two hands to be a podcaster. hello and welcome to top story all right andrew the you know on the days when i feel like we're running a boutique podcasting operation um that maybe is not is not widely what enjoyed by the public at large like this i sometimes think boy this is really us talking to the same small loyal and loving and amazing group of people um which by the way i'm fine with But every once in a while I'm kind of like Yeah, we're talking to a pretty small group of people We have a week Like this week, Andrew Where a couple of things that we've talked about

a couple people that we brought up actually are listeners to the show. Remember that we were talking about the kind of legal settlement between two dog poop-scooping businesses? Poop-dee-dee-boop-scoop. Poop!

Yeah, we did some great work on that.

I think we did. I think we're maybe up for a Pulitzer. So it turns out the listener who runs Magpie Mouse Studio sent me a she sent me this is through Instagram a screen cap saying her friend Paula runs Pooper Trooper Company the ones that I think are they the ones that are changing their name? I don't have it in front of me

I feel like that was the company that was there first, maybe the ones who sued although I'm just shooting from the hip here

yeah um there's this screen cap that came from um what is who was our friend who runs magpie mouse

studios i am um i'm uh sarah sarah sarah sarah well i think for you i'm just nervous though i'm so bad with names but it's sarah right yes i probably i i literally thought we love you sarah

we do um so on the stens page our friend john takamoto had posted the episode and then there is a response from i believe it's paula saying is that the too beautiful to live podcast with luke burbank i love that show so i think sarah at magma mouse who knows paula sent her basically like hey guess what they were talking about your uh poop scooping and um and her friend uh paula was like oh yeah tbtl i love that show um and uh then i was texting back uh with sarah or whatever instagramming with sarah and she said uh it's her friend paula she can't legally discuss these things yet but she said in a few weeks uh we're gonna she's gonna talk about it with her i'm wondering if we should get them on the show get paul on the show just to talk about the day in day out situation with running a dog poop scooping company yes i think that would be very we can we don't even have to talk about the lawsuit at all no no who cares i don't yeah um but like i just want to know like what's it how many bags do you go through how what like how just what is it like to to work to play in that space five days a week eight hours a day five days a week like is it is it do you just get used to it is it kind of is it grosser than you'd expect is it less gross like what is the i'm that's that's the interview that's the undercover boss interview

i want to hear and i want poop diddy whoop scoop i want some quotes on the record about the um ethics of leaving little bags of poop in your neighbor's trash bins uh on trash we'll get to that sort of towards the end of the interview no i think we'll be leading with that luke and not letting go of it uh like a dog with a bone if you will uh just to reiterate here pooper trooper sued scoop troop in july accusing the company of copyright infringement so these are the ogs the pooper troopers now i just want to make sure because i was a little bit in my in my head there um at the very beginning of this i lost the thread so paula so so our friend sarah reached out to her friend paul and said hey they mentioned your company and paula said yeah i know i already listen to that show do i have that right or am i yes wow that's great okay that's awesome so already was aware of the fact that we talked about them now we're not no i think i would say casual

i would say casual tbtl listener like i don't i don't think i don't get the sense that by the way why didn't they go with paula's pooper troopers you've got you've got that alliteration you might

have some other people in the in the gang that would sort of you know what i mean like yeah like tom i just feel like you know your name starts with a p yeah the first word in the business is poop paula's pooper troopers and then it's like paula paula and the paula and the pooper troopers

that definitely sounds like a kid show on amazon prime that some one of our listeners kids is obsessed with put on paula and the pooper troopers uh again okay fine if it will distract you for

the next hour are we getting closer or further away to landing the interview with paula do you

think I think closer but anyway I was excited to know that like that uh you know the the people who we were talking about had some awareness of us but then you really blew my mind yesterday Andrew when you sent me a screen grab of something what is going on with the rants and raves a

listener blew my mind okay so a couple of days ago and yes I'm just gonna do the um I'm gonna give you the full treatment here the full I usually say the full Bob Walsh treatment which is my dad when he tells a story to make fun of him I'd be like hey what'd you have for lunch yesterday and It would begin with him as a child leading up to the sandwich he chose. And, of course, who am I to throw stones at that glass house, right? But I was delighted the other day, I believe on Monday, to see that you had a top story from the Rants and Raves column of the Seattle Times. Now, this is a daily feature where Seattle Times listeners will write in about something that either really made their day or that irritated. them rants and raves right and it's a daily column and it's like for some reason weeks and weeks will go by before i remember that it exists then i'll go and i'll read it and it i just find it to be the best part of the newspaper so it really is so psyched to see that you wanted to just like kind of review some of them from sunday but i also thought it was very coincidental because as somebody i followed on instagram who's a listener of this show april had coincidentally on her instagram stories posted a different rant from the day before from the seattle times and i had just started following april on instagram and i was like what a coincidence this is um and the rant that april found to be somewhat amusing was this rant i'm going to read it directly from the newspaper here rant to the new commercials that all at once seem to have people quote dancing in delight with whatever the product is if you feel you must dance first learn how to do so flinging a leg into the air is not dancing it's just embarrassing now i love the passion here i love but i also have no idea what this person is necessarily talking about i mean obviously there's dancing in a lot of commercials i haven't noticed it being necessarily bad dancing um but i just thought it was really funny i thought it was funny that dancing was in quotes i don't know what what flinging a leg into the air is referring to um and so you know we had a little bit of fun with that i opened my email yesterday luke and i see this subject line awaiting me rant and rave how dare you this is from listener mary who apparently is also a tbtl listener saying okay guys the quote dancing rant was me Andrew watch the got junk commercial watch the got junk commercial and then watch the dries commercial or whatever they call it some sort of thing that gets moisture out of the air in your closets or some shit really terrible I do not rescind the embarrassing part you are a professional commercial podcaster I can't believe you are unaware and then you went on the show to talk about some ozempic ad or something and apparently there's some um there there's some bad dancing in that or some dancing in that but mary says the one i'm talking about is some guy in a driveway literally flinging a leg into the air while the announcer says something

like and that's why they all started dancing power out mary that's this is a thing where at first i was like maybe somebody knows somebody who wrote this rant and passed along our podcast to them but mary signs it with a power out so i was like oh no no this is a this is a real tbtl tent i just yeah like you said i i'm talking to you every now and then i remember we have a few people listening but i forget that like we have listeners who we don't interact with almost daily you know what i mean and mary is just out here listening and then suddenly hears me ripping into

her rant from the seattle times i i didn't think we were ripping into it we were just confused i think by what we're not confused but we were just speculating on which commercials because the commercials were not specifically cited in the rant so i went on this thing about ozempic i was saying well mary might be seeing i didn't know that was the name of the person but i said this person might be seeing like a lot of these prescription drug ads and things so i don't i i feel okay about how we talked about it i don't think we unless unless i'm forgetting something we said i don't think we were overly critical of the rant we're more mystified but Now we have actually looked up the ads in question, you and I, because we're serious journalists. I don't think this is really going to work out as audio, but I'm going to play this. Mary, I want to warn you. I'm about to play one of the commercials that you actively hate. It's a 1-800-GOT-JUNK commercial.

It's a brand new day. Don't let junk get in the way. It's a distraction. A buzzkill.

So this woman has, you know, stuff in her house she wants to get rid of. And then the folks that work for 1-800-GOT-JUNK are showing up and they're observing what she has, you know, the pile of stuff in her living room and other places.

A mood killer. We make junk disappear.

Yes! Then the customer points at the pile of junk and then it magically disappears and she's super stoked about it. So excited, Andrew.

All you have to do is point. And you'll be back to your old self again.

She's pointing at Chuck. Now she's celebrating with a victory dance that's sort of goofy and almost looks, I'm trying to think of who it reminds me of. It's not great dancing at all.

It's not, but it's just the dance of somebody in their home. It's like not a, it is weird. Why did, I'm watching this along with you as you're playing it. Why does she start? She's just so happy. It's like a happy dance. It is unclear if that's supposed to be a joke or something, though. They really focus on her dancing for a long time, considering this isn't a dancing focused commercial.

Yeah, that's a good point. This is a 30 second ad and they they.

They tarry, as we used to say in Bible class. Will you, Andrew, tarry with me for one hour? They really tarry on the... Have you an hour to tarry with me, Andrew? You're right. They leave in a lot of her really kind of hokey dancing. You know what she reminds me of? The Elaine.

Oh, yeah.

It looks not unlike famously the Elaine dance from Seinfeld. I don't know if that's what the direction was, but it's not it is not good dancing but also i feel like it for me this it doesn't ruin the commercial it doesn't it doesn't have it doesn't really make a big difference to me one way or the other um but uh then there's this other thing what's the name of the company so this i'm still

i'm watching her dance on the ottoman i kind of i kind of don't get it but anyway um that's for some reason that just doesn't bother me and i don't know why but so then uh mary says you got to watch the drys commercial d-r-y-z whatever they call it it's some sort of thing that gets moisture out of the air in your closets well it's not drys i think what mary's talking about here is i did a little bit of uh you know uh what is it boot leather journalism um here and leather journalism shoe leather journalism and it's i found this thing for damp rid and this has got to be this does like kind of dry out your closets or whatever and i actually have i'll play it from my end luke yeah um i did the first time i watched this you and i were already talking down the line so I watched it quietly. I didn't realize that I should first mute my video game that I was playing in the background. Let's take care of that. And I did not realize that this has a parody song to go along with the dancing. So we see a woman in her very big walk-in closet and she's like kind of holding her nose up into the air like she smells something a bit funky.

So musty in here.

now we see people of uh like from various homes and various families going around their house kind of dancing around sliding not unlike um who's the guy who does all of his own stunts in the barkeep movie uh tom cruise sliding in his barkeep movie you mean wait no that's not where

he does the sliding is it he does oh no that's that's risky business but you're or you referencing

cocktail i couldn't think of tom cruise's name which is appropriate because for years and years i couldn't think of his ex-wife's name um somehow heartbreak feels good in a place like this andrew somehow i'm breaking hearts with my the more i speak here it's so musty in here

everybody damp red everybody damp red damp red drop in the tab attract and trap excess moisture

eliminate musty yeah we're definitely seeing some bad dancing but again i feel like that's kind of the bit though right yeah and here's the deal and i wonder if this is why like all of these people are doing bad dancing and they're all in their home same with the got junk as well and i feel like that's maybe what these commercials are maybe telegraphing a little bit like these people are just being goofy and comfortable in their own homes it's not like a flash mob kind of bad dancing situation and they're not in a coffee shop they're just kind of like oh yeah everybody i i feel like somehow tiktok is influencing popular culture i don't know if i'm going out on a limb there and i wonder if the danceification of culture also kind of plays into this i i hadn't thought

of it that way but i bet you you're absolutely right i bet you that's part of it um and yeah i i don't think either of those commercials are going to win a clio anytime soon because they're both i mean 1-800-JUNK is a national company i think what they do is you buy a franchise oh like you know what i mean like you buy the right to be the like 1-800 junk person in your area and then you get the you know the trucks that are marked or whatever and that's like or actually i don't really know what the business structure is but that's a cheap ass local

commercial that we just saw right you don't think that's a national ad i don't know i mean wow it is cheap man that is funny if that's a national ad they're they're well i don't know

i think the damp rids is national probably just because how much they must have well i mean that It would be weird if that was just a Seattle brand where they just sell a thing that absorbs moisture out of the air. By the way, I find those kinds of things, that actual technology, whatever that is, to be sorcery. Do you use them? I think when I was at the Burbank Springs Broadcast Center and our basement was constantly flooding and having issues, for some reason, I think I was hoping to keep it from getting musty. I bought some of those and might have put them out. But the idea that you just put out this little plastic thing and it's got some kind of crystals in it and then you go over there in a week or two and it's full of water. It's just that's the weirdest thing to me. Like, I mean, that's just the most mystifying technology.

Hey, you know what? We were both wrong. I was loud wrong. You were just wrong, wrong. Got junk. These were not local commercials and it's not a national brand. Luke, this is an international brand. 1-800-GOT-JUNK.

According to Wikipedia, is a Canadian-franchised residential commercial junk removal company operating in the U.S., Canada, and Australia.

Huh. So, yeah. In Canada, it's 1-800-GOT-JUNK-A, and then in Australia, it's, you call that junk?

So, anyway, it's Andy's weekend. The sooner we can sort of, like, get out of here.

I'm also wondering for everybody, what's it, Damprid? Everybody Damp-Rid. Everybody Damp-Rid. How much did it cost them to get the rights to the song Gonna Make You Sweat, parenthetically, Everybody Dance Now by C&C Music Factory?

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, in a certain way, I could say, well, that's... It's like a big buy, a big splash-out. Sort of, yeah. I mean, Damp-Rid is probably owned by, like, who owns Clorox, right? P&G, Procter & Gamble or something. Like, whoever owns Damp-Rid, I'm sure, has very deep pockets. And also, like, that...

If so, though, I will say those commercials also are a little bit like there are, you know, those kind of high end national cleaning product commercials. That one is feels like it kind of comes in a little bit, a little bit less well funded to whatever that's worth.

I don't know. It doesn't strike me as that like the lighting. You can you can always tell the cheapness of a commercial, like first and foremost, kind of by the lighting and sound. You know what I mean? That got junk one is like very clearly shot on location at somebody's house, you know. But whereas the Damperid one isn't award-winning, like you say, but it certainly fits into, like, just daytime television, high production, like, well-lit, bright colors, like, you know, here I'm looking at who owns Damperid, W.M. Barr.

Yeah, I'm on the About W.M. Barr. Yeah, who's... Person or company.

Yeah, so anyway, I don't know, that doesn't strike me as super cheap, it just strikes me as your mundane, like, kind of daytime television commercial that you would see, like, during...

No, I think that's exactly where it falls. No, I think you're right about that. Now, I do want to talk to you about another commercial that is Jamaican Me Crazy, Andrew, and probably overly so. And this is a high production value commercial. It's for Audi. I don't know if you've seen this one. I don't know if you want to bring this up on your professional podcast about advertising. Do you and Veeves have a hall of shame type of thing or something for where just like a commercial really – Like, do you do, like, a Razzie's, like, a Worst of?

Not in—I mean, we will talk about commercials that we don't like sometimes, but we don't have a hall of shame, no. By the way, I was loud wrong on Damperid, huh? This company that owns it really just does Damperid and Damperid-esque stuff. I thought for sure it was going to be the same as, like, oh, you know, like I said, like, Clorox or whatever else. So, sorry.

You know what Clorox does own, though, that I find mildly upsetting, even though I did a TV story about it? They own Hidden Valley Ranch. Oh, yeah. And there's just something about Hidden—I know that there are different buildings. Like, they don't make the ranch in the same building. They make the Clorox. But there's just something about Hidden Valley Ranch being owned by Clorox. I just, like, really, we want to keep those production facilities really discreet from each other, please.

Yeah, it's weird. Like, we're a company that makes two products, and those products at the grocery store, they would have to put in separate bags for you.

Right.

Exactly. So this Audi commercial is in heavy rotation, I think, during the television programs I watch and maybe the sports that I watch. But I'm sure that 99 out of 100 people that watch it are just like, whatever. This is like a typical TV commercial. But there are just multiple moments that make me irrationally kind of mad. So here is – I'll start playing it, and then I'll kind of narrate it for you a little bit. It's a guy is driving a Q5, like a really nice Audi, and he's got his dog riding in the, like, not the passenger seat, but basically the second row. And the dog is just absolutely adorable. Looks like it's some kind of a little, like, some kind of, like, Australian Shepherd type of dog or whatever. And so here we go. Our idea of the perfect day, you, your best friend. so he's looking back at the dog and the dog is obviously you know super psyched it's going on a ride my first problem is you would never there's leather interior and it's really nice you would never let this dog ride on that leather it would be shedding everywhere also the whole advantage of a q5 i used to have one is that your dog could ride in the way back like so the dog is riding the already i'm already i'm upset because i'm like this is a beautiful vehicle that's just going to be trashed by this dog riding where it's riding but of course the idea is this guy and best friend so then he's they're driving everybody you're ready to run and quattro all-wheel drive own the elements in the audi q5 by the way they have to put a disclaimer that says never let your dog ride in the passenger seat do they say that for real they do it's in the it's in the fine print never let your dog ride in the passenger seat and um also make sure so So it's. Something else goes by really fast about having to do with the airbag, something about how you have to have the airbag set for the passenger or whatever. Then he's driving. He's clearly in L.A. He just drives the Audi right onto the beach and just driving. Just imagine the beach in Santa Monica where there's like the lifeguard towers and people. I mean, wildly illegal. And, of course, they do put in the tiniest script ever, you know, please obey all posted road signs and uh you know whatever like they they put some like little tiny microscopic disclaimer but this guy's just doing a thing that clearly would never be allowed and it's not they're not playing it's not part of the joke of the commercial they're acting like this guy got up this morning threw his dog onto this nicest leather seat you've ever seen then just drove right up the middle of the beach like you know killing untold number of people who were sunbathing and then uh gets out of the car and uh and and then we'll that's him that's him driving over people he jumps out of the car and lets the dog out and he is wearing andrew jeans tennis shoes socks and a jacket on the beach in the sand

and he just goes dead sprinting with his dog towards the water in the least beach appropriate outfit i have ever seen in my life like you would never this would never be what you were wearing when you took your dog to the beach to drive over sunbathers like you just first of all sand in your

shoes well think about that dog getting back in the car full of sand now yeah yeah there's also small print on the bottom of the screen that also says never let me slip because if i slip then i'm slipping i don't know exactly what that is a disclaimer for but i just wanted to point it out

it's like this guy's the first thing that really sent me with this commercial was the dude's outfit it is like the it is the the it is the last thing you would put on to go sprinting in the like ankle deep dunes of the beach at santa monica like again sand all in your shit uh you're wearing a jacket at the beach don't if it's jacket weather why are you going there this is not the day for that like and then he's just dead is it sport coat jacket i was picturing like kind of uh uh No, it's kind of – I will say it's a light jacket. It's not a parka.

Oh, I was picturing like a sport coat jacket.

No, that would actually be even worse. I will give them this. It's not a sport coat. But like I've never been in a commercial of this magnitude. But I have certainly been in a few productions where the way they have me dressed is so bizarre, like the character or the whatever. And I remember thinking sometimes like, I mean, look, you're the bosses. You're paying me to be here and to say whatever this line is. But like this makes no sense. i've never been in a commercial where they're like okay you're taking your dog to the beach and then what wardrobe what should we have him in i don't know maybe some flip-flops maybe some shorts maybe something that that screams beach how about some stiff-ass jeans some white tennies socks uh collared shirt and a light jacket sure that's what most people would wear to sprint down the beach and then this is the real this is the cherry on top andrew the audi is parked at it is not facing the water he has he has somehow driven on this beach driven past all these people and has now turned the car around and it is parked at the and they don't show you doing they don't show him doing this by the way the car is parked at the most unnatural weird angle away from the water as he sprints towards the beach with the dog and the reason is of course because the client wants to make sure that you can see the front of the audi like they want the beauty shot of the front of the car even though if you were driving a car to the beach and you were going to get out of the car you're going to run with your dog would you then pull like pull some like half u-turn and turn it around in a very unnatural angle towards the camera of course you wouldn't this is because i'm sure the first thing was he pulls up he opens the doors and they go running and then the client was sitting in video village and they were like can we have the audi facing the camera we really want that shot and then the director from whatever agency in la was like sure yeah we can do that it was just the last little bit of terrible group think on this commercial for me do you also think

it's a continuity error like he drove onto the beach one way but then when he comes back the car is pointed the wrong way or do you feel okay yeah so not only is it is it illogical but it also

just doesn't make sense within the universe you know how there's some rule of filmmaking about and i don't know the exact word for it or term but like about crossing the camera like with the characters like when you're shooting there's a certain kind of framing that you want to use and And if you're not careful about it, you can be shooting someone from one angle and then you're shooting them from a different angle. And it's very confusing to the human eye because of some kind of a thing that I don't fully understand. Are you familiar with that principle?

Yeah. Are you talking about the fact that you need to cut away to somebody else before you cut back to the same person? You can't just go from a shot of...

somebody in profile to a shot of them like straightforward or what have you because it's

strange it's it's more like someone walks into a room and that you're filming them from one angle and then in a different take or in like a different part of that scene you're filming them from a different angle that's confusing to the sort of human eye and brain just because of something about perspective and and things like that like some filmmakers in the audience will clarify this for me but i just remember back when i was more interested in that kind of stuff being on some shoot or talking to some camera person who was like, oh, you can't do that that way because it does something to our brain when you basically are showing this thing from two angles in a way that wouldn't maybe normally happen or whatever. Yeah, but what happens, he's driving this Audi illegally, I'll mention, on the beach in one direction. And then when we see it parked, it's in a position that makes no sense. You would never do that. And it's purely because audi usa wanted to make sure that or daimler whoever owns audi at this point um wanted to make sure that it was the most in their mind beautiful shot of the vehicle and for me it was just like it was just like the third or fourth element of like i said bad decision making around a commercial that could have been fine and innocuous guy takes his dog to the beach whatever cool but i just feel like at every decision point when they could have gone with something less annoying they went with the more annoying option for me anyway personally now to just I don't want to end the week on a negative note Andrew so I want to end it on a positive note by playing you a little bit of tape from Kevin Brown now he is the you know announcer for the Baltimore Orioles who got in trouble recently with the team it certainly appear anyway for simply saying oh oh, wow, they're playing really good this year. They're playing so well that they've actually eclipsed some of their win totals against another team that had taken them years to rack up. In other words, they're playing so well this year that they're playing better than they did for years and years, which seems like a thing you might want your announcer to say about your team that's playing well. Well, the owner of the Baltimore Orioles, or at least his son, appears to be pretty thin-skinned. So imagine my delight when, well, I mean, we knew that kevin brown was coming back this announcer but i was scrolling through some kind of i don't know baseball twitter yesterday baseball tiktok something and i heard a quick snippet of this and i was like well okay that's an orioles broadcast it was like orioles broadcaster sings blink 182 and i was like what and i was like is this new tape yes they are currently the orioles are currently playing the padres and i was like is this kevin brown i had to do kind of a deep dive But yes, it is, Andrew. And this, to me, is this is baseball broadcasting at its finest. I will just play it for you. They are Blink-182 is from San Diego. It must have been how it came up. This is Kevin Brown. I don't know who the other guy is. All of these broadcasts now have one person who's young and knows things, and then one ex-jock whose job it is to act put off by knowing things. So take a listen to this. Who?

Blink-182? Don't tell me you don't know Blink-182. I'll be honest, never heard of Blink-182. Are you kidding me? Sounds like a fighter jet to me. Get out of here. You don't know Blink-182? Mm-mm. I probably know the song. Yeah. All the Small Things?

No? Sing it for me. All the small things. Okay, don't sing it anymore. Say it ain't so. Tom DeLonge has had a lot of Padres games. Big fan. I Miss You, you don't know that one? I don't think so. I mean, I might if I could hear the song. Tom has this, like, very distinct nasally voice. You know? So he goes, where are you? And I'm so sorry.

Now I recognize it. You do. You got it now. Thank you.

That is such a good Tom DeLonge impression. It really is. And honestly, I wouldn't be as incredulous because I know that the joke would be on me. But like, honestly, as many times as you explained Blink-182 to me on the show, I can't keep it straight. Are they the one? I'm not even joking. I was thinking, are they the ones that have the song? Now everybody sends it to me every time there's a meme about what's on Tommy's hat or what's with Tommy's hat. What is that? No, no, no, no. That's Nickelback. Okay. See, I can't keep any of that shit straight either. So I actually understand. But I also understand that I should be able to. I don't know why I can't keep that era of music straight in my head. But, yeah, no, I like that they really stuck with it because, like, that's the kind of thing that you would really just move on and you start talking about stats or something. But he's so, like, you really don't know.

And he really committed to it, too. Where are you? Like, that's such a – that's, like, a very kind of iconic part of the Blink-182 oeuvre. Blink-182.

They were, I'm trying to think of how I would, you know, I just know about them because they were in the pop culture, but I'm trying to think of a way to frame them for you. They were just a very big kind of power punk band, sort of like Green Day, but like maybe, I don't know, a slightly different version of Green Day. Blinkier, kind of blinkier. A little blinkier, exactly. Yeah, sure, sure.

Like 182 times blinkier. Yeah, right.

It's time for music for your weekend, and Andrew, I'm already very nervous about my suggestion, so I would like you to play your song. while I figure out how even to get into or discuss the music that I have suggested for this week's program.

I don't know the song you're about to play, but I see the name of the group in the show sheet, and I've been wondering for the past hour and a half how we're dealing with that. I wondered if that was going to be living in your brain. Actually, I shouldn't admit this, but I've been doing this thing now with the newsletter where I'm including the album art that goes along with the music for your weekend I thought it kind of spices up the newsletter a little bit and presents the music for your weekend as kind of a more fun part of the newsletter and so I was just like looking up the the cover art that we would be using for your for your song so I'm interested in that but for my music for your weekend I told you I keep saying this throughout the summer and I guess I'll reiterate it again here I have not been listening to a lot of music I've been listening to a lot of baseball a lot of podcasts and that hasn't left a lot of room for other listening but when i do have room for other listening i do what i did last night which i put which is put on the three hour doors radio documentary that was released like in the 1970s fan it is amazing i will bore you with i can't get into it now but you hear about a three hour radio doors documentary and you just think it's going to be you know it's going to span their entire career this is so much more fascinating because this was something that aired on the radio and you can tell it was not long after they broke up so it's not a retrospective it's just tons of interviews with people both in the band and you know close to the band or whatever trying to figure out what the f happened and did did jim morrison quit did he not quit like what happened when he went to france it's like it's all upset it's like three hours of obsession with the end of the doors interspersed with just like full like eight minute songs by the doors which you know if you're not a doors fan it's not for you but i love the fact that this is a real product of its time how did you end up on that oh just i think youtube recommended it to me and it's got a terrible name let me look at i guess we'll just talk about this now but i'm not gonna play a door song don't worry um but the name i emailed it to myself it's called doors three hours of magic just a terrible name um but uh yeah apparently this aired i believe on american radio um and it had some like you know like kind of previously unreleased um poetry from morrison and i think some some uh outtakes or what have you but then all these interviews with again band members and managers and everybody trying to figure out like whether or not jim had intentions to come back from france before he died there and you know all this stuff and i just thought it was going to be like oh whatever um it'll be fine but i find it really fascinating because it's not like if you were going to make a three-hour documentary of the doors today you would start at the beginning But this starts at the end and then continues along the end and then ends at the end so far. And apparently they only release like literally, I think, 250 pressings of this on vinyl.

So if anybody ever sees in a record store Doors Three Hours of Magic for a good price, buy it and send it to me for free anyway, because it's probably worth a million dollars.

I assume any documentary about The Doors just starts with, hello i love you like that very oh that's so funny very like iconic you know who would that be uh what greg manzarek or something who was the the ray manzarek was the keyboardist but yeah no i

think that any documentary would start with something a little bit more heavy than like it would be like it would be break on through or light my fire or something more epic that's yeah Maybe light my fire, that kind of big organ piece.

Okay.

But anyway.

Are we hearing some Doors?

No, I don't want to play. I mean, playing a Doors song, even by my standards, would be a little bit basic, I think. So instead, I'm going to play a song that I play probably once a year or so about baseball and about divorce. And I love this song. This is the song that I've heard.

Oh, and about a person who, by the way, did I tell you, has listened to our show now? The Breathe, I Will Breathe people? Oh, baseball and divorce. I thought this was going to be Petey.

Oh, oh, no, no. Oh, is Petey checking out TBTL because of your connection?

That's what I've been hearing through the grapevine was that because when we talked about his partner's company, Fishwife, that there's some people that are listeners that were in their orbit. And I heard from him. oh wow Becca and she said uh it was a big hit with her folks and also uh Petey was very flattered that we were talking about his music the way we were and this when I hear like a song about baseball and divorce I just assume there's a line about divorce in that one Petey song where they're

on the ball field it's so funny because I woke up this morning thinking I gotta pick up music for your weekend I haven't been listening to a lot of music I've been listening to a lot of baseball so I want to pick one of the one of these songs I love about baseball I was either thinking Petey or breathe i will breathe and pd's song it does like both of these have a sadness to them and pd's has a sadness to it that i can't quite explain or a maybe a wistfulness is maybe a better way of putting it is a good word this one is definitely wistful this one though if you listen this starts off like with some this starts off kind of upbeat with some great kind of onomatopoeia at the beginning of it this is the song that i've andy hurst aka dur's our dear friend put this on a mixtape for me about 15 years ago and it's one of the best mixtapes i've ever received and i've received a lot, and I really, really like this song. We probably will not play enough of it to get to the kind of sad part, so just enjoy the happy part. Here it is. It's called Baseball Diamond by Breathe, I Will Breathe.

We need something to get the boys and the girls out of the house and into the yard Turn the sprinkler on Turn the sprinkler on Talk it out Could we talk it out In the summer of time Oh, the love of mine Love me in time I'm trying to get out of life with love on my mind Do I get the kids for the weekend? Do I, I mean I have more love A baseball diamond And pounded bases In the sand When a wiffle ball Is a plastic bag And there's a lie dry There is no broken glass There is no broken glass

Alright, Luke, there you go. Breathe out a little brain

Yeah, I like it. I can totally tell why you like this, too, because it feels very much like the love child of Jonathan Richman and David Berman.

Oh, interesting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's interesting, yeah.

That's a really good song. If you've played it before on the show, I've liked many things. Memory Hold It, which means I don't remember it because it went in a hole in my brain.

I thought you were going to be like, oh, yeah, we hear that every year.

No, no, that's nice.

Maybe it's been a few years since I played it. I feel like I was playing it all the time for a while there. But yeah, so there you go. Maybe next week I'll go back to Petey.

I think that you would have remembered if I had played this song before on the show, Andrew, because it's from... Okay. I'm going to just say the name of the band because it's not really like a swear. It's just maybe a little uncouth in some circles. But this is a collaboration between somebody named Dev Lemons and somebody named Ethan is Online. and i just saw that i saw people sort of dancing if you will or vibing out to a clip of this song on tiktok and i was like i don't know what's going on with this song but i find it so compelling they play when dev lemons and ethan is online are working together they perform under the name queef jerky um which again i don't think i mean this is we couldn't have said that when we were APM, but I think we can now say that since we're the bosses of ourselves. Under Too Beautiful to Biz, Andrew, LLC, S Corp, comma, other legal things I don't fully understand. I think we can say that. And I've said it once, that's probably enough. The song is called Underground, but what I think would be useful is to actually read some of the lyrics first, so you kind of know what they're singing. By the way, this sonically is all over the map. I mean, this is the most, there's a reason why one of the performers is named ethan is online i mean this is this is probably a i don't know how old the people are but this is my guess is a couple of 22 year olds at the absolute peak of whatever the hell is going on right now with how music gets created the this song uh underground the it opens with dev lemon saying adam driver how about you park the car adam driver how about you leave the bar. Adam Driver, I don't like the middle part, no.

Adam Driver as a Simpson, I'd be a Bart. I'd be a Bart, I would not be Marge. I'd be a Bart, I would not be Marge. Adam Driver, Adam Pilot, Adam Diver, Adam Mileage, Adam Paperwork, I'm doing the Filage. Ethan is online, checks in for verse two. I drink sodas like Coke on the regular. My wife divorced me for things that I said to her. My dog is hungry, I should have fetted her. My new wife's a robot, I have in. I drink sodas like Coke on the regular, et cetera, et cetera. This thing is all over the map, Andrew But it kills me Legally, I shouldn't even be allowed to listen to this song That's how extremely online it is But I really am digging it Could you play us this song, Underground By the band whose name I've already said once And that was probably enough

Where's everyone going? Bingo?

Adam Driver, how about you? Park the car Adam Driver, how about you leave the bar Uh, Adam Driver, I don't like the middle part Nope Adam Driver, Adam Simpson, I'd be part

I'm big part, I would not be much I'm big part, I would not be much I'm big part, I would not be much I'm big part, I would not be much Uh, and I'm driver, and I'm pilot, and I'm diver, and I'm mileage, and I'm paperwork, I'm doing the phyla-age.

I drink sodas like coke on the regular. My wife done voice with the things that I said to her. I said to her my dog is hungry I should have offended her my new wife's a robot I have and I drink sodas like

alright I think we've probably shed enough listeners now here at the end of the week are you shocked that that is a song that I am actually listening to on

semi-repeat well at first when I'm listening to it the fact that it's all over the place reminds me a little bit like when you and I first started hanging out I think we were kind of hanging out in the same mp3 blogs or whatever because I feel like we were kind of discovering like music that didn't feel really fit into genres necessarily but we were kind of i don't know i just remember that era and so this sort of sounded like the early 2000s or mid 2000s mp3 blog era to me but then as it continued to not settle into anything and then as the as the guitar then the i'm not a big fan of just like kind of like just like heavy guitar sound ripping through something that's where it kind of lost me a little bit but i appreciate what they're trying to do i don't like things all being standardized all the time but it was a little too adhd for me i think yeah i mean

i think it is for me as well except i just keep listening to it so and it's very it's very out of character for me i mean i'm i think much more attached typically to traditional melodic structure and things that sort of build and then you know decrescendo or whatever like that thing is all over the flipping map i just think it's something i think the lyrics are really funny so that kind of keeps me if the lyrics were more just kind of like i don't know um negative in a way or something like i don't know the lyrics kind of make me laugh there's i just for some bizarre reason i like that song but i kind of can't put my finger on it and it's way out of my comfort zone for music

you know and that's good and it does make me kind of want to listen to the rest of the album to sort of see what the flow is like you know they're all these pretty like um they're relatively short songs by the way and i could every time i do this i tend to be wrong and it probably doesn't matter that much but a quick google tells me that um the band itself queef jerky i'm not afraid to say it is dev lemons and nick is not green and this song along with a bunch of songs on this album features ethan is online gotcha for whatever that's worth that and that no thanks to be a quick google yeah they're gonna hear about this yeah i'm sure the band spotify my parents who

the fcc the beef jerky industry the oberto family all the oberto's rolling over you know what honestly i mean seriously if you have if oh boy oberto oh boy indeed has the has the the stones to create a brand or what dukes you know dukes is that popular brand now of of kind of beef products i will buy if i walk into a 7-eleven and someone is finally willing to put out a product

called cleef jerky i will buy it or i thought you'd say like a marketing campaign and like together like team up with them like that would i mean you already dukes is already like on the as far as i can tell yeah but anyway let's move on okay now we have a real power

palate cleanser as we wrap the week up we're going to go to an almost opposite part of the sonic spectrum from what we just heard and that is a suggestion from listener peter

in port townsend uh wait hold on luke this is totally childish of me to interrupt you here this is totally childish i apologize but can i just tell you about a dream that i just remembered from last night regarding music when you said we're going to the opposite i really apologize this is totally off track but I wanted to ask you about this anyway or tell you about this I guess because it's somewhat basketball related just like a few hours ago I woke up from a dream in which I was in a public place I believe like an airport waiting area or something and I heard somebody singing a Donovan song or the Donovan song came on like the speakers and then I heard and I got excited about it and then I heard somebody singing along with it and I turn around and the person who's singing along with it is the tallest person I've ever seen in my life he's a basketball player who I believe his first name was Kyle something and he was so tall that when I was like you like Donovan too and he fist bumped me but I had to reach up to fist bump him he was so tall that his fist was above my head sort of i just remember him being a very tall white basketball player and i was so excited that this person liked was he based on a real a real basketball i don't know enough about basketball that's what i think i wanted to ask you was i think in the dream i was even like i gotta find somebody like luke who can tell me who this guy is and i think somebody told

me his name might be kyle is there a famous only kyle nba player i knew of was kyle corver yeah he was um like a kind of a shooting forward he looked a little bit like um uh who's the uh dude where's my car guy and the uh blink 182 yes the oh my gosh this is please stop here i'll look it up being this way brain um you know he's he's married to mila kunis and he was oh ashton kutcher i didn't know he was in that movie okay i think kyle korver looks a little bit like ashton kutcher And you know Kyle Korver would be tall Compared to like A sort of normal height person But he wouldn't be like He wasn't a 7 footer I bet you Kyle Korver was probably like 6'8 or something That's the only basketball Kyle that I know This wasn't the guy

But it's okay He was just a made up guy in my dream I don't even watch basketball But I don't know why I felt the need to interrupt you with that It just struck me It was basketball related

I would have loved to pull a W on that though i would have loved to have been like oh it's this person but i don't think i don't think i said kevin love success maybe google kevin love maybe you got your kiles and your kevin's confused because kevin's pretty tall kevin love is like probably 6 10 and i found out something recently about the basketball player kevin love he was a cleveland cavalier for a period oh that's why the name rings a bell yes okay sure he um i didn't realize this i was watching some like like not mtv cribs but some version of that where they were in kevin love's like cool new york apartment I always like NBA players who decide to live in New York City when they're not even playing there. Like Steve Nash did that when he was like a Phoenix Sun or something, but he lived in New York and would skateboard around kind of the Lower East Side or whatever. I thought, well, that's a mark of a person who's interested in culture. You could be living in this giant mansion in ex-urban America, but you're like, no, let me just be right in the thick of it. Kevin Love was talking about this apartment. He said his dream was always to live in New York in an apartment by the time he was 30. So I said, at the end of his 29th year, he was almost turning 30, and he ended up buying this apartment. He's made a lot of money as a basketball player. And then he just said something casually. He was like, well, music is a really big thing for me. My uncle is Mike Love from the Beach Boys. So it's really kind of – and I was like, what? Because I love to hate on Mike Love. My love language is hating on Mike Love from the Beach Boys. I just find him so we have, you know, Carrie and I and Camaro have this whole joke of just sending each other terrible videos of Mike Love and John Stamos collabing on whatever's left of the Beach Boys. Like, I just think of Mike Love as just being so lame. And it's like Brian Wilson is, you know, has had his issues, but is the musical genius of that group. And then you just got like Mike.

Oh, I see. I didn't I don't know if I knew about this, but I see because it's kind of like the it's all just the cheesiness that is left over while he's still just trying to tour and make money.

Right. Like Brian Wilson, you know, is will occasionally show up and play a show and you could go either way. And and then you just got Mike Love, who's just like, I'll just do Kokomo again. I don't give a shit. I'll just hire five guys to stand next to me. We'll all wear floral shirts and we'll do Kokomo.

I'll just do Kokomo again. I don't give a shit.

He probably wrote Kokomo. I mean, literally, he probably wrote. Coke. I doubt right. He wasn't part of the band then, was he, Brian Wilson, for Kokomo? I would have been shocked.

I don't think he would have been, yeah. So I think of Mike Love as just like this, like, you know, and he's not one of the Wilson brothers. He's, I think, like their cousin or something. And don't come at me, Mike Love heads. I just feel like he's just— He listens to the show. He's just, well, he's one of the people backing Queef Jerky. He produced that album. But anyway, so I was shocked to find out that Kevin Love, NBA basketball player, was, like, related to Mike Love, not particularly tall person who was in the Beach Boys.

But would have been the most likely, I mean, maybe the most likely NBA player to be singing a Donovan song in an airport?

Well, that's why, again, coming back to the Kevin, it's a K name. Yeah. And he was tall. He's a tall guy. Kevin Love is, you know, he's a center often, or like a power forward, but a tall power forward. So anyway. Have you seen a picture of Kevin Love? Yeah, that wasn't him.

The guy, I think the guy had like kind of shaggy, shaggy blonde hair, like kind of longish but not not long hair but just again shaggy uh and again i want to make this clear so tall that if this person was standing with this person were just standing with their arms at their sides their hands would still hang higher than my head andrew it all comes together

at some point kevin love played basketball in lake oswego oregon which is roughly where i'm

going to be going to the street of dreams oh see it's all aren't you glad i literally interrupted you mid-sentence closing the show to tell you about a bullshit dream that i had a few hours

ago because now i know now i know that kevin love grew up in lake oswego oregon there you go drop that uh drop that knowledge all right back to listener peter in port townsend's musical suggestion he said i'm submitting this title track by rose royce the song is car wash from the 1976 b movie i was doing some serious weed whacking this afternoon in this afternoon heat when this song popped into my head it just feels like a great summer jam road trip song or when you need to get through a tough outdoor task i think this means andrew maybe when you're up on a ladder pole sawing things today maybe you know maybe you should consider listening to Car Wash

to kind of inspire you is this like classic soul music or is this modern music do we know? oh it's classic it's from 1976 oh did he say that in the email? sorry about that

and I believe that there was and by the way Peter's email says the 1976 BY movie by movie but I'm guessing that was his computer was auto-correcting because maybe he was describing it as a B movie but there's a movie called Car Wash it's an American comedy film actually Joel Schumacher wrote the screenplay but I think maybe for most people the biggest cultural impact of the film might be the song Car Wash by Rose Royce which as soon as you start playing it you'll recognize it

oh this is the famous oh okay yeah I know this song I thought this was something being introduced to me I'd never heard the name

rose royce before but i love that name yes then i believe that's the i don't know if rose rose royce was a band or a person named rose royce but um i could if we want to take a little more time i could read gene siskel's review of uh car wash in the chicago tribune uh he said the well-paced recreation of reality makes car wash an absolute gas that was what gene siskel wrote in the chicago Tribune, his review in 1976 of Car Wash. So maybe it's not a B movie. Maybe it was Beloved.

Yeah, I don't know what that typo was in the email, but I don't want to focus on Peter's typos. He's got a lot going on that's

positive. Exactly. He's out there sweating it up in Port Townsend. Anyway, thanks for the suggestion, Peter. That's how we're going to wrap up our broadcast week. Thank you all for listening. Thanks for being part of TBTL. We'll be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have a great weekend, and please Remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

You might not ever get rich But let me tell you it's better than digging a ditch There ain't no telling who you might be A movie star or maybe even a Indian tune at the car wash Working at the car wash, yeah Come on and sing it with me Car wash Sing it with the feeling of Car wash, yeah

We will not listen to your dreams. We are not saints. Power out.