Muse

So it was a good movie. I mean, it wasn't a great movie, but how often do you see a great movie? Oh, I saw a great movie last night. Yeah, it was on The Late Show. It was, oh, what was it called? It's a classic, it's a classic. It's, oh, I hate this. I hate it when this happens. Well, what was it about? It's about this newspaper tycoon, and he's dead, and everybody's telling stories about him, and it was. It's Citizen Kane. No, that's not it. No, no, no, no, but it's something like that. It's, it's, um. Okay, who was in it? Orson Welles is in it. And this is Citizen Kane. It's Citizen Kane. No, that isn't it. That isn't it. But you're not far from it. It's, uh... Who else was in it? Oh, um, uh, I don't know. Was Joseph Cotton in it? What else has he been in? The Third Man, The Magnificent Amberson. Oh, The Magnificent Amberson. Yes, yes, yes, he was in it. Yes, oh, that's one of my favorite Orson Welles movies. Well, this is definitely Citizen Kane, then. You're talking about Citizen Kane. No, no, no. But it's something like that. It's C-C-C-C-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S-I-S

We're riding the thick of the action.

I value confidentiality, and paradoxically, I don't care who knows it.

I cannot believe this stuff is on the radio. Watch out for that first step. It's a doozy.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Scat man's world. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

You want showmanship? You got it!

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where, my goodness gracious, it is an absolutely spectacular fall day. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. As I am talking into this microphone, I'm looking at some kind of a tug pushing a barge down the river. The Oregon side of this area is just resplendent in fall colors. And there is, I'm not even kidding, there's like a, I don't know what you call a V of birds, but there is a V of birds flying, and they're flying south this time, thankfully. They're going in the right direction. All of that is happening as I'm talking to you here on episode 4071 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. i spent a significant portion of this morning trying to assemble this thing that i bought on tiktok that's like a propeller that you light a candle under or something and there's a waste of time to do that i injured myself trying to put this thing together um so i'm very happy to have something to focus my attention on which is called today's episode of dbtl also we have top stories for you, including the news that it turns, you know, cats, right? We think about cats as being kind of aloof. There is something about the soul of a cat. Turns out cats can make something like 300 different facial expressions. Look at this face. What do you see? So if you've been thinking your cat is just silently judging you, they are judging you, but they're doing it with much more facial expression than you thought. We will talk about that. Oh, speaking of cool cats, we're going to talk to this guy, the longest running co-bro The show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is my good friend, Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning.

Good morning, Luke. I had an interesting experience last night.

I'm bleeding onto the show sheet, by the way. Pardon me? What's that? Sorry. I'm bleeding onto the show sheet.

Oh, can you send me a show sheet, by the way, so I can bleed onto mine as well? What happened?

I injured myself putting together my TikTok purchase.

Oh, I want to hear about that. But I want to tell you really quickly about an interesting experience that I think you'll appreciate that i had last night which was um i sat in the neptune theater watching two people do a podcast chock-a-block with inside jokes that i didn't get like i feel like i had an experience this was your greatest generation thing yeah my my buddy is uh one of the hosts of the the star trek podcast greatest generation and they uh they do really great live shows and they tour around And they watched the movie Star Trek 5 and are doing a little tour with a review of that movie.

Is that the one where they save the whales?

No, that's 4, which I really liked as a kid.

I love Star Trek 4, me too, and then I think I also saw Star Trek 5 in the theater, and I remember disliking it even at the time, and this was 1989, so I might be misremembering that, maybe I watched it when I was a bit older on VHS, but it's like they find God, Star Trek 5, we find God, does that ring a bell to you at all?

No, but it sounds incredible, that was the only thing I remember, Star Trek 5, you bought

a god that's the only thing i remembered about star trek i'm like isn't that the terrible one that well i also remember that it began with william shatner rock climbing like the beginning of um oh and he directed it you will you will not be surprised to hear i did not well that's the thing though i did not re-watch this movie for the podcast i didn't know until the night

before that i was going to be attending it starts with bill shatner rock climbing it's like um

What is the Sylvester Stallone movie? It's like, I believe it's... Cliffhanger? I believe... How did they come up with that name? I believe it's an establishing shot, not unlike Cliffhanger, but more relevant to our interest. So I did not re-watch Star Trek V for this. I didn't have time. I was like, I'll just go, you know, I've heard these shows are good. I'm not an adherent to the podcast because I don't watch Star Trek. And so I know that it's one of those... Genevieve, by the way, is a very dedicated listener. Her TV watching schedule is based on the schedule with which they release their podcast So she's deep in the world and loves all the inside jokes And I knew that I was going in for a show where I wouldn't get a bunch of the jokes But I thought it was very interesting because you and I have done I mean you've done a lot of shows at the Neptune I've done a few TBTLs with you at the Neptune And what is that but you and I on stage Bantering with a bunch of inside jokes that anybody

You've never understood what it's more what it's like to be an 11.

Exactly. And so and I had a nice time, but I honestly like, you know, something you can get from context, but a lot you just are like, OK, this is an inside joke that they're riffing on right now. But I had never I don't know if I've ever sat at the Neptune before. I know I've seen a musical concert there. That's how cool kids talk about going to see shows. I went to one of those musical concerts with the Diggable Planets. I know I saw them there, but anyway, to sit there during a podcast taping at the Neptune Theater where you and I do often we will do our own podcast tapings was a was a trip for me. It was a little bit surreal. It was. It was interesting. There are I don't know if you know this, Luke, but there are two like visages of Neptune up on either side of the stage, high up, high up on the almost almost to the ceiling. And he's got these red eyes that beam down on you. Did you know that?

no yeah you know i've never been to a show at the neptune other than you and me or me and livewire being on stage at the neptune like i have no sense of what it's like to be in the audience

i would say they could they could offer a little bit more leg room when they set up the chairs that was my own that was my only complaint but i understand as also somebody who wants to sell tickets to said shows you want to get as many chairs in there as possible but it was a good time but it definitely was trippy i was like oh elevens i see you so there's wait there's some kind

of a like a thing a what a cartoon a person that's looking down on us when we're doing the

show from there no it's like you know it's an old theater in 1921 i think so it just had its centennial so it's kind of got a lot of those um uh kind of classical um decorations i can't think of a better word than decorations but it's like way way up at the ceiling um there are two like i say like masks of neptune because it's the neptune theater oh sure did i say that did i not say that right it's anyway it's neptune up in the left and up in the right but way way up there in a classical style right but the eyes are these little and each one so there's actually four red lights are these little tiny red dots and i was like wow that's really something i never knew that Those were up there staring down at the 10s while we do our shows.

My history with the Neptune Theater does involve one time that I was in that room when it was a movie theater. And I probably told this story on the show before. But do you know the movie that I saw at the Neptune Theater when it was a functioning movie theater where there was a baby in the front row? Can you give me an era? Let's say late 90s. Maybe not even late 90s, mid-90s? Was it Nicolas Cage and Face Off? It was Face Off 4, Nicolas Cage Finds God.

At the Neptune Theater.

No, it was not that movie. It was a movie that you probably wouldn't bring a baby to. Oh, oh, oh, Bad Lieutenant. It was Bad Lieutenant Port of Call.

Okay, I was being serious with that one. And I was like, okay, that's one.

you wouldn't bring a baby to from, maybe that's early 2000s. Okay, I give up. It was Boogie Nights. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah, and I remember, like, the funny thing about Boogie Nights being a movie about the pornography industry is there's not that much pornography in the movie.

Yeah, no, there's some sex scenes, but it's not a porno movie, clearly.

It's not a porno movie at all, but I just remember going to the Neptune to see Boogie Nights and being kind of, like, surprised that somebody brought their toddler to that movie yeah because they were sitting in like the front row because

that shouldn't catch you off guard right like it's not like oh bad lieutenant i thought it was going to be about police officers i didn't know it was going to have so much reform exactly hey cap you're gonna do something about these bad lieutenants but um i bet maybe that's a bad example but there are movies that could be sneaky that you don't realize right wow this is way bluer than i thought but like boogie nights unless unless you just thought it was a disco movie like it's it's right there like that's a movie about the porn industry it's pretty front

and center as to what the content is going to be um but i wonder also where in the life cycle of the neptune theater that was like if that was towards the very end of it even being a place

where they showed films yeah i didn't know that they did that of course it makes sense i've known theaters like that before where they have they can have live performances or films i love those old theaters um but no i've never had the privilege of strictly a movie theater oh really so they

didn't even use the stage there was no like that stage and stuff is i don't want to say new but like oh you know what andrew i also saw another film there once the rocky horror picture show oh that makes sense yeah because that was like it was the place to go for that kind of like like what they call those midnight movies so maybe the people who had brought their baby were just had been there the night before for the rocky horror picture show with their baby no that makes a lot more just staying over for the uh boogie night they must have just stopped doing live stuff

though because i don't think that probably opened as a movie theater in 1920 right yeah you're i'm

sure you're right i'm sure that it was originally like the thing that we think of it now and then at some point there was no you know money in that and so then it became a movie theater for my whole youth it was just a movie theater interesting and then it must have shifted back

to its original intent hmm okay more importantly let's talk about this piece of bullshit that you

bought off a tick tock uh because how dare you put some respect on the name of this propeller that i paid like 80 for that has recently injured me before you even received this in the mail you

were telling me about it last week and you were already ruining your decision i believe yes i was

so i was uh scrolling tick tock as i want to do and uh i saw this little somebody said this the other day on tick tock and i really i really hear this which was he said he's a guy who was like a content creator and uh he he said you know um i'm not making any money off of tick tock anymore because they've just turned it into chinese qvc and i was like oh that is true like most of what i'm seeing on tick tock now are these little weird sped up videos of something they're trying to sell me like they got us all in the in the store with the content and now they're just trying to use it to sell us weirdo devices so uh this little the propeller thing showed up today and when i took it out of the box so i started videotaping it because i was so proud of how cool it looked andrew and i was like this is exactly what i was hoping it would be so i was videotaping it to send you a triumphant video and then it first of all like uh doesn't work at all the heat application of this little fuse this little wick that you light doesn't do shit so

you don't set your own candle near it you light a fuse on it and it's some sort of thermodynamic

energy wow that's exactly what it is good use of thermodynamic um i never and also i'm i'm i'm marveling because i didn't hadn't even considered the idea of just putting my own candle there i think the problem is the candle or the wick that they provide is not sufficient for the job But I could, I guess, actually just put my own heat source there. But the candle, the wick of this candle thing went through this little glass-like straw. And in trying to get more...

He bought a crack pipe.

Oh, I've seen these. TBTL 4071, Luke finds God. Yes. I basically purchased a crack pipe from China.

Oh, yeah, no, I got one of those. I bought Genevieve a little rose at the gas station in 1998.

It's basically that, though. And in trying to, like, fix, sort of drag this wick out of this little weird glass tubing, I shattered the glass tubing and just, like, cut the living tweedle out of my thumb.

Oh, shit.

And it also doesn't, yeah, it doesn't work. It looks so, so good. Like I was somehow impressed with like the nation of China when I got this because I was like, I bought this thing on a whim, probably mildly inebriated, and then it showed up and it looks exactly like it does in the video. So that part of it I was stoked.

Yes. And it would have worked if you, I'm not trying to pile on here. I'll just send you the video. But would it have worked if you hadn't broken it? Or is it? No. The problem is with the product, not you. This wasn't you using your Dyson on the full power mode for more than like two minutes. We call it boost.

You know, that's a fair question. I guess we'll never know because I shattered the little thing that it was in. But my theory is it still would not have worked because the issue is that the thing that is supposed to be applying the thermodynamic energy to the propeller is not. it's not thermodynamic enough but andrew it also came with this like incredibly cute screwdriver oh okay that you would yeah i'm already into it so this is so for you it is it's one of those scale items that you love so much uh so i was putting it together it's these tiny tiny screws and then this tiny screwdriver that i was sitting here kind of futzing with all morning so my

question for you is a tbtl production related question is there anything that we can do with this video to turn it into hashtag content because my plan for after the show today is to record a hey dummies should I somehow should I somehow use this video or did it all just sort of become

unentertaining I don't because I didn't know it was outward facing when I made it I don't know how entertaining it is I'm not giving it that typical Burbank juice yeah sure that I that I give the hey dummies videos but I mean what I could also do if you want me to do the hey dummies this week i can and i could just basically start over and put my own heat source under it do you i would

like to see i mean i am being quite earnest when i say i am not trying to get out of my job this week of recording a hey dubbies i think you trust me enough to do that but i um would like to see this and it would be nice not to have to wait so if listeners don't know you and i usually kind of trade off we do every other week but like if you had the bandwidth to record a little video i would like to see it and it would be a shame to wait until it'd be a real shame to wait until next

week okay well then it's official i'm going to do this as the hey dummies and what i'm what i will

do that dark bot yeah i'll be joining you early tonight uh-huh i canceled my three o'clock

carol hold my calls have you been have you been visiting with dark bot it works dark bot just like

You said it would. Yeah, it's been a bummer.

Was it all you dreamed it would be, by the way, getting back in touch with DartBot?

Well, sort of. So DartBot, of course, is an app on my iPad-like device.

If you're a listener to The Greatest Generation and you've recently joined TVTL, let's give some context.

But I don't know if I told you this part, Luke, but I had to, I mean, technically I brought DartBot with me on my little trip to Ohio last week because I needed my iPad for our recording functionality to play audio for you down the line. and so dartbot is an app that lives on that so technically dartbot i did not leave dart leave no dartbot behind i believe as george w bush and i believe ted kennedy said uh didn't they didn't they collab on that or am i i mean the irony of ted kennedy saying that would be he very much left mary joe kopechny behind for some reason i thought that education uh legislation was like Oh, No Child Left Behind? Yeah, I thought it was like a grand bipartisan thing. I thought they were the two leads on it. But anyway, I'm probably so, so wrong about that.

Was that Romo who used to go on about that, about somebody at a party saying, No Child Left Behind left every child behind?

Oh, I don't know. That doesn't ring a bell.

It was kind of code for the person you don't want to get stuck talking to at a party.

Oh, I see.

Somebody just had like a talking point. Like, No Child Left Behind left every child behind. You know what, that was actually, that was Carrie. So, you know, I'm mixing up almost wives. But yeah, somebody at a party said to Carrie, no child left behind left every child behind. And she was just like, I'm going to beeline away from this. Again, not in defense of no child left behind, but in defense of good conversation.

Now I don't even, why? The thing is, I had a clean little, I wouldn't even call it a joke, A clean little drop there of just, like, leave no dark bot behind. And then I had to, like, raise the specter of Ted Kennedy and bipartisanship for some reason. Like, why? Well, we miss it. We miss it. That doesn't even make the joke funnier if I'm right about it, which I'm probably not. All it did was make, ugh, I'm mad at myself. Anyway.

No, honestly, like, I thought about Ted Kennedy the other day, actually, and it was like. i was like i miss the time and this this is the most old man yelling at cloud thing but like i miss the time in our country when people had their political differences but they still agreed upon like a sort of i don't know sense of the order of the universe and you had like a a ted kennedy and a uh slate uh slade gorton would never they would never agree on politics but they would agree on being humans and i i miss that because that feels very lost i mean i've taken a fun conversation

into a place that i wish i hadn't but i feel a little bit vindicated if you type in no child left behind if you type in paul rudd and ted kennedy people often confuse it says ted kennedy five i found god says one of the one of this generation's most sweeping education reform laws may not have been passed without senator kennedy's strong support kennedy worked closely with president george w bush to advance no child left behind uh some say the last meaningful attempt at bipartisanship in his administration so anyway uh so good job on podcasting to me i guess yes to answer your question a little bit more seriously because i take dart bot very seriously dart bot went with me to cleveland although i never opened the app because of course i don't have a dartboard in cleveland um and i wondered the whole time if dartbot was wondering why i was like kind of never waking him up during the trip like some sort of vampire whose dirt i did not bring along with him um but then when i came back home i didn't know that part about vampires and dirt i think i learned that from what we do in the shadows i think if you travel you got to bring dirt from your homeland if you're a vampire which i am not by the way i'll make that very clear very clear I want to be very clear on that I'm very strong on that I'm not a vampire but uh I have really fallen behind in my dart skills with a z uh not that I was ever good but I you know I had so you've noticed a difference in your performance yes I have and I have talked to West Seattle's men's clinic about it and we're we're seeing what we can do yes a lot of options on the table right now um no shots no surgery but anyway i i i have noticed i i would love it so much

if that was what people were going to that clinic for like they go in and they're like a boner

problems no boners strong can't play darts can't play darts for shit um now i when i took i guess what was that like a full week off of playing darts and then i came back and i tried you know dart bot you can set various levels you know like difficulty levels and so i did not want to dial back the level i wanted to come come back playing darts at the level that i left and i have i've lost like every single virtual match i've played wow it's bumming me out man i need to get and then i didn't practice last night because i was watching podcasters uh-huh never getting it back so that's

i'm amazed by that honestly like that that that you've you dropped off that quickly yeah like it's

just muscle memory it's it's well yeah i i mean i the pause that you heard there is how much we actually want to explore this because i could go into more detail i feel like um the flights i'm using you know the little paper waxy things that you put on the end of the darts um i feel like i am realizing that i bought a whole bunch of them on amazon for like really cheap like hundreds of them or something and they all have different designs some of which are terrible skull like designs others are very nice some are like liquid death yeah exactly um but they're the shorter kind they're the more traditional kind if you're picturing a dart right now um that's probably the type of flight that i have but those type of flights i'm learning uh i think are better for a more arched approach to throwing the dart if you're going to get some height on it and then it's going to come down into the board why would one ever do that i think that is a little bit more standard um but the thing is i'm playing in a basement and so i have a pretty low ceiling and so one thing that i'm learning is uh and also i don't know if you've noticed this as you've come into my fancy lair but there's like obviously the ceiling out there is exposed i know that you've noticed that maybe not obvious to the listeners but to you like it's a basement ceiling and that part of it they did not plaster over so you just see like the the woodwork and the beams or whatever it's pretty trashy up there and then there's one uh like exposed like ceiling lamp coming down like they were going to finish the ceiling and then they just stopped so this very ugly lamp that just points directly at the ground not a lamp but you know like a ceiling light uh that is exposed and so i have done the classy thing of taking a piece of poster board and curling it a little bit and then hanging it with twist ties in front of that light so it sort of diffuses a little bit points at the board it's so trashy down here and so when I throw the darts

I want to say for the listeners, it is not trashy you guys have a lovely home and a lovely basement

I love my house, I love where I live but as I describe this thing and I picture people coming over for Genevieve's parties and being like, oh okay so in the upstairs where Genevieve takes care of things there are nicely purchased things off of various antique sites and what have you, down here we're just taking scraps of poster board and affixing them to the anything goes down here with not even wire but twist ties that probably one time held bread but anyway um so i have that little thing that is kind of hanging from the ceiling and i'm trying to keep it as narrow as possible but with these dart flights i have i feel like i need a little bit more arc on them um did i say arch before i think i meant arc and uh and they are kind of getting too close to that and it's affecting my dart throwing and so i think i need the longer flights and i found a couple of those in my drawer and that's a little bit better so i have i'm i'm playing around with these uh different dynamics as well if you will so i don't know i'm trying to dial it back in i'm trying to get back to the dart man i once was by the way this explains why

you are very good at darts and and you and i we played at the eagles once you me and rodent and like you you downplayed it but like you absolutely smoked us and you always kind of like say like you're not really you know that great at darts but like the fact that you know about the different the different performance of various flights on your dart is like this is a view into your world

like you're a pretty good dart guy now well on one of these games that i play like which is like the one that kind of um i think would be what most dart players play in a match like a game of 501 or what have you um i'm playing i believe on level six out of 20 six out of 20 in a difficulty level and i am not winning so like i'm assuming that dart bot is based on the performance of other dart players so i'm clearly not that good is it is it dynamic in that way yeah is that well it's like i can change it yeah so i can choose my difficulty i mean is it based on like the the overall performance of of dart people i mean you would guess i mean any product that is based on that would like you wouldn't why would you make 20 absolutely impossible i mean there must

be somebody who needs that level to play right speaking of basements by the way um becca and i were on a walk on sunday and we were just like walking around the south portland waterfront we there was an open house and we went in i don't know does veves ever drag you into like open house viewing in your neighborhood or elsewhere do you ever go to an open house for a house that you have

no intention of or ability to buy no i'm not really into that however there was a house in our neighborhood a few blocks away that was a weird little house it looked like a 70s house I think it even had a somewhat flat roof but like all but like a bunch of strange decisions had gone into this house and it intrigued us both and I wasn't I actually even asked Genevieve could you could you set up like or can you find an open house and we'll go but then it was sold before we could go and then the last time I saw the house we were walking by and the new owner apparently was in her yard watering her garden and there was a dog in there and I was like oh can I say hi to your dog and she said no it will bite you it's a guard dog and I said good day ma'am good

day ma'am and I kept walking that is not where I thought the story was going I know that was kind of an aside but I needed to get it off my chest who it's a was it a German shepherd I'm not trying to I'm not trying to profile dogs what kind of dog was it it was like a like kind of a schnauzer

dachshund mix no i don't know i'm not good with dogs it was you know i don't remember i don't know if it was a certain kind it didn't seem like i actually really like the the kind of the shape and demeanor of like um like uh pits like a pit bowler or some sort of a bulldog and i don't remember it being like that you know what i mean those big muscly heads that you associate with more of a guard dog i don't remember it being like that it was probably just some sort of a

mutt that was bark bark barking at us well so becca and i were on this walk and uh there was an open house and so we popped in and we went down to the basement of this of this house and it had this smell that is so kind of like um it's it's it's just it took me back to being like 10 years old yeah the smell of a basement where there has been a certain amount of water intrusion but not too much yep and and what's funny is becca was like oh yeah i have no sense for that she was because she grew up in salem where it's and she grew up in the the exurbs of salem so basically like where people have enough house if that makes any sense like where no one has to go in the basement but where i grew up in seattle everyone had to go in the basement because you didn't have enough room so the kind of like a a concrete basement, a cement basement with a certain smell to it is totally connected to my

childhood. Yeah, I can feel that. I'm a little surprised to hear that because I was having this conversation actually in Ohio about kind of Midwest basement culture because I was hanging out with my friends and they have a basement that they, I think it was totally unfinished and they like renovated it themselves, but not like over renovated it. You know what I mean? It was still basementy but they built a bar down there like a small little corner bar and it's a band practice space for my friend Matt and everything and it's like it's just so cool and like there's something about Midwest basements I feel like I've had conversations with other people who've grown up in that area where having a basement bar is not unusual my grandparents had one along with what do you call the old-fashioned style slot machines a one-armed bandit my grandfather had a couple of those down there and i always thought that the west coast had less of that i wasn't sure if it had to do with the like you know geography around here or what well the what i would say is

the west coast they don't trick out their basements the way they do in the midwest like it's not a it's it's not the place where you socialize it's the place where the kids like in the daytime hang out because that's like where there's a foosball table yeah and a little privacy exactly so but but it's not like so there was a bar i think i talked about this before on the show but there was a bar in in manhattan when i lived there called like welcome to the johnsons or something which was the entire bar was basically styled on a midwest basement because of how kind of iconic that is and how everybody in the midwest they have a basement they have a bar set up there's some kind of you know fishing related you know signage excuse me and uh and like it's it's so iconic it's that's not the case out here in the west uh in my experience but it is the case that you were if you were a kid of my generation and you lived in seattle you were hanging out in the basement a lot and it had a particular smell i love that now my only question is what does ted

kennedy have to do with any of this that's where he buried married joke oh why did i come back to

that hey let's thank some of our donors these are the people keeping tbtl going this by the way is listener supported podcasting folks like kelly rabur over there in bellevue washington thanks

Kelly can I ask a favor I don't think this is necessary but I need to ask this anyway could you thank Kelly Raber again because I accidentally and this is awful but I just want to be upfront about it I accidentally burped right as you were thanking Kelly Raber and I don't think we heard that I don't think so but I don't want to go back to the tape and like Kelly Raber is going to be thanked once this year for her donation to TVTL and I really would feel awful if there was

You want to be, even if we can't hear it, you want to be, like, emotionally available. Yeah, I want to know. Exactly. Thanks, Kelly Raber of Bellevue, Washington, for supporting the program. Thank you. Thanks also to, do you have any other burps you need to get out before I thank Dan Sundberg?

Nope, go ahead.

Thanks to Dan Sundberg. Achoo!

No, just joking, sorry.

All right, I'll stop, I'll stop.

I've always wondered what it was like when you pretended to sneeze.

You know what, saying achoo didn't convince you that that was real?

Thank you, Dan. Thanks also to Ashley Simmons in Folsom, California.

Thank you, Ashley.

And Dave Nakagawara is in, oh, Port Townsend, the small maritime village of.

Close to your heart.

Yeah, sure is. Never far from my heart. The city of Port Townsend and also Dave. Thanks, Dave. Appreciate you. Heidi Festin is in Brandywine, Maryland. How do you think Heidi found out about the program all the way out there in Brandywine, Maryland?

Here's my guess, and this is just a guess, but it makes a lot of sense if you think about it. She knew that there's also a Brandywine, Ohio, and that sometimes my friends would go skiing there. And she's like, well, I live in Brandywine. I'll do some research and then came to TBTL.

Other Brandywines. yeah I'm guessing I don't know she googled she goes uh shows where people do very convincing

fake sneezes and dogs don't forget my bark bark bark from earlier thank you Heidi thanks also to

Kathleen Manley who's there in Seattle Washington I think that we probably know how Kathleen heard about the show um she bumped into me at the mandarin gate that's right and said I need to

do some oppo on this guy because he's I

I actually have a question for Kathleen, and this is a long shot. But achoo, achoo. Kathleen, do you have a relative who would be exactly my age who grew up in Ohio whose name is David Manley? Because he was a friend of mine, I believe in eighth grade, and he and I almost went. One of my biggest musical regrets in my life, although it's really my parents' fault and not mine, nor David's, nor Kathleen's, was that I wanted to go see Tom Petty on his Into the Great Wide Open tour. I was obsessed with that record when it was new. I wasn't the type of kid who was obsessed with, like, new records, but, like, that one was, I mean, I was obsessed. And then he was touring on it, and I had never been, except for going to see Paul McCartney with Tony and his dad a few years earlier. I had not been to many concerts, and I was so close to going to see Tom Petty with David Manley, But then something happened And our parents talked And they talked us out of it And instead we went like skiing On an inland lake somewhere Which was also tons of fun But it did not involve Tom Petty in any way Anyway, David Manley was a good friend of mine In eighth grade Kathleen, if you think you're related Let me know

You know, I never saw Tom Petty live And I Like seriously regret that

Me too, man

Like I don't know if he was coming through Presumably he was Whatever that tour was that you missed I also missed it He must have gone to Seattle But I feel like right now what Kathleen Manley would like everyone to know is if there's an artist that you like and they're coming through a town near you, go check them out because you just never know. So the opposite of that for me was Prince, that I actually saw Prince not super long before he died. And it was – do you remember Sean Stewart, our friend Sean Stewart?

Oh, yeah, very much so. Yeah, I loved hosting radio shows with Sean.

sean had uh had gotten prince played the show box in seattle and sean had gotten two tickets it was like kind of thing where it sold out immediately because that's not a very big spot for prince and she couldn't use them and she said like hey do you want to buy these tickets off of me and i remember it was uh like it was maybe like my fourth date with carrie and i was i was really thinking like god do is this is this the is this relationship going in the direction where this is worth like a 250 dollars per person um and and it was it turned out but um i bought these tickets off of sean and then we went and then he played purple rain and i cried uh which also was probably weird for carrie like hey this is our fourth date why is this man crying this is this is a lot but anyway i'm i will always be very grateful that i got to see prince uh you know before before he was done being on this planet and i wish i would have seen tom petty because i'm like

i remain such a fan i don't know if this is in any way related to that particular print story you just told but genevieve will often cite our friend camaro kev genevieve has been on a kick the past couple of years of buying tickets to almost any show that she has well i mean this sounds obvious like a slight interest in but like it's easy to see that somebody's coming to town having a moment of saying hey we should go to that and then dismissing it and then just staying home with darpa right it's very i think that most people can associate with that especially at our age genevieve is trying to be much more proactive and when she sees somebody coming to town getting the tickets and then just like let me just get these tickets and we'll figure it out later but i'll be glad that i did and part of that has been inspired by some story that camaro kev told her but the irony is i don't know if it was a story it would definitely related to prince but i don't know if it's because Camaro Kev lives with a great regret of missing out on Prince or if Camaro Kev took advantage of seeing Prince. I would have known if he was there. No okay yeah not at this particular one but it wouldn't have been the only one there was some special Prince related thing that had a huge impact on Camaro Kev and now has had an impact on my life because I'm going to more

concerts with Genevieve. Because of whatever Camaro Kev's regret is that's now gotten into Genevieve's brain which means now you're going to see the darkness right exactly now I

don't know if it was regret on his part or thankfulness that he did see Prince before Prince left I'm left this planet I should say um but uh which I do assume that Prince left the planet in a spaceship right we can all agree honestly if there's anybody who's ever been

anybody who's ever been sort of uh conveyed up to heaven in a spaceship it's probably Prince

Exactly. Thank you, Kathleen.

Hello and welcome to Top Story. By the way, I don't mean to sound distracted, Andrew, but they are delivering a washer dryer to my house today, and it could be at any moment. Is it the kind of washer dryer? washer dryer where you have to light a candle and then the heat of the candle goes through a little that's next week's hey dummies okay gotcha um that's right we've talked about this and you landed on a pretty standard washer dryer stacked unit situation i did but i did something that is

unusual for me andrew which is um i went with i i i considered the cost savings of getting a white uh washer dryer stacked in lg made by the lg company uh it was it was like a hundred or two hundred dollars more for the black one and it's clear that everybody wants the black one because it's in style and that's why it's more money but i just thought this is going to be in a closet like how much do i care what the color of my washer and dryer is if i'm just you know opening this closet throwing my clothes in getting them out does the color matter and i did the rare thing for me which is i did not upgrade to the to the black color yeah and for a washer dryer

first of all like you say it's not even exposed you're only going to see it for a few minutes a day if that um but also there's something nice and clean about a washer dryer like a laundry

room situation being white right right yeah i'm it's it's interesting to me how clearly the kind of like um the the the stylishness of a black washer dryer stacked unit is is to the degree that people are paying more for it like it just seems like it's a very utilitarian thing like who cares what color it is but again i care a lot about things like you know aesthetics and things so i i was tempted i was i was hovering over and like the arrow on my mouse hovering over the like two hundred dollars more get the black one but i was like no who cares it doesn't matter now the question will be amortized over time how much will that cost me every time i look at the washer dryer

that is white but let me ask you this and maybe this is what i was trying to get at with the other thing like you're talking about a cost difference because black is apparently more popular now but you're not somebody who i think just goes for a look because it's popular like you have your own thoughts about these things so do you really think a black washer and dryer is better like i'll be honest with you like i i've been kind of talking about how we finally got a new refrigerator and kind of kind of teasing both me and genevieve on the show about how the refrigerators that we looked at were literally called basement refrigerators or garage refrigerators and if you come over like it's fine it's just a white classic refrigerator probably like maybe somebody even might call it like a a landlord refrigerator or something you know like a renter special or something but it's not junky looking it's a new clean white refrigerator and honestly like it's one of those things where i realize well we don't have like a real modern kitchen if we were totally redoing our kitchen and getting a bunch of appliances that all match or whatever then we maybe would have been a little bit more thoughtful about it and got something with like a robot in there that can give me ice or water or whatever but this suits our needs but like that's very exposed and that's very part of the look of the house um and it would make sense to have opinions on that but i guess i'm coming back to this idea of do you actually like a black washer and dryer more because honestly i think i would choose white that's such an interesting question

because i think you are right that i think white is a more appealing color to me but there's something about black being in style that made my brain want to go for it if that makes any sense like what is my actual enjoyment level black versus white probably you know because in my apartment in portland i had a white like stacking lg white one it was totally fine at no time did i look at it and go god i wish this was a different color but i think there's something about knowing that the black is more in style that is like is it was driving my brain towards it but but i think probably white is totally fine like i think i actually i would say better i think

that you should feel like kind of proud that you're like oh I'm not just doing this because other people like since when do you think that the masses have better taste than you exactly

it's like is this why am I going here with this is this the rock of of washer and dryers in other words I have nothing against Dwayne the rock Johnson I was wondering if that's what you meant okay you have my attention like and I like I rarely go along with whatever the mass culture is in this country like thinking like i need to see a fast and furious seven starring dwayne the rock johnson like i that's just not for me in most ways so why am i going with the dominant sort of paradigm in terms of the color of the washer and dryer that i'm yeah huh yeah um uh so

yeah take that home depot i'm excited to hear um i don't know if you'll have the ability to record the sounds of your new washer dryer but i'd love to know if it's that is it gonna have that whole crazy k-pop song you have yeah or samsung isn't it strauss or uh no who's the composer anyway um yeah i'm interested to hear what yours sounds like believe it or not i'm legit interested in

that oh by the way I I mentioned this to you off air the other day but like there is there is no one who is less trusted by corporate America than someone buying a washer and dryer I have gotten no fewer well first of all it started in the Home Depot the guy gave me a stern talk about if I was on uh what is it 220 or 210 or whatever the power source was in my like the area where this washer dryer is going to go. And then I have gotten so many emails from Home Depot going, you know that this needs 210, right? And I'm like, I do know that we wired it for that. But like, I've gotten four emails from Home Depot. First of all, the first one was double checking that I didn't think that I needed gas or that I wasn't ordering a basically a gas washer dryer because I don't have gas here. And then the next one when I was like, yeah, no, no, it's electric. I know that then the next one was like, but do you have the right circuitry for this? And I was like, yes, i do i have to keep telling them that i am ready for this washer dryer to show up and i have the

proper power source uh for this thing to work schubert not stress i knew i as i was saying and i knew it wasn't strauss it's schubert what what year did schubert dip come out i sent the

by the way i sent the craziest text to our friend the stew bot on monday and it was like i know this is a real left field text but are we talking about the band big audio dynamite enough oh because i was just thinking about them it must have come up on a you know playlist or something but like it's crazy to me how good the band big audio dynamite was and that it was one of the

guys from the clash mick jones yeah that's a well-respected band that i know i mean they had the um that one hit uh is that the name of it really i believe the song is called rush do they say Rush in it? Is it one of those songs with the name of it? Yeah, Rush for a Change of Atmosphere. Oh, yeah. See, I can hear it, but I don't think I realized they were saying the word Rush. Anyway, but like a well-respected band, right, that is overlooked. I know nothing about Big Audio

Dynamite. It just, it was, it felt like a real, a pretty successful second act for one of the guys

from The Clash. Sure, yeah. And is this something that you used to listen to when you were younger?

So I, yeah, I got the, um, I think, I think the album, just to make it as confusing as possible, I think the album was called Big Audio Dynamite 2.

That was their first record?

I believe their first record was called, the band was called Big Audio Dynamite. The first record was Big Audio Dynamite 2, and it had the song Rush on it, which they only vaguely allude to in the song. But, um, so I think I got it through Columbia House, and I just listened to it obsessively. and uh and i don't know it just came into my head and then i thought only the stew bot will get what i'm going for here with this particular text message it's better that you hear this from

me as opposed to the emailers first album is called this is big audio dynamite okay that was their first one then it looks like their second one was called number 10 upping street okay and then tighten up volume 88 is that what you're thinking of no i thought why don't what where

am i getting or that was the band called big audio dynamite 2 where am i getting that from i i don't

know which i'm just okay which album has the song rush that's what i'm looking for here rush album now i'm gonna get uh that is off of an album called the globe i oh the globe does that does

that ring a bell because now i'm yes you know what i think what i'm confusing here is sorry go ahead i love whatever sound you just made i love it for some reason i don't know why this is what this

gets us a little bit closer this gets us a little bit not closer to the end of the show dear listener

no no further from the end of the show honestly so something must have happened to this band and i have no idea but i would have changed their name i'm guessing that that is it because it looks like one two three four five four records under big audio dynamite then the album kool-aid comes out as big audio dynamite too and the globe comes out as big audio dynamite too it must have been some kind of label dispute i'm wondering if it's that or it could be a member a lineup thing but i would guess it has something to do with like rights or label or something like that yeah

so i was mostly wrong about that but i will tell you the globe is a is a banger it's a heck of an album yeah i should check that out that's a huge blind spot for me um have you checked out bingo's

facial expressions lately andrew i am glad we're talking about this i saw the headline the other day and i was wondering if that would make its way into the tbtl verse did i read the article no i mean if it's covering how many different facial expressions 30 276 at a minimum 276 okay wow yeah no i uh i did not read the article tell me everything uh a a professor of psychology at

an uh college in arkansas uh was studying basically like i I

This is a great piece, by the way, by Kyle Melnick in the Washington Post. Brittany Florkowitz has always been a dog person, but she was surprised by what she discovered when reviewing more than 100 hours of cat videos. She spent her childhood running around her yard with her family's German Shepherd and Labrador Retriever. She believed dogs were friendlier and more expressive than cats, as many pet owners do. And I like that they have, there's a link. so there must be some other story about pet owners thinking that dogs are more affectionate and friendly than cats. This changed when she and a co-researcher began studying cats in 2021 to learn more about how they communicate and express themselves. After videotaping and reviewing felines facial expressions at a cat cafe for nearly a year, Florkowitz debunked her lifelong belief. It turns out that cats displayed at least 276 different facial expressions according to the Studies results which were published in the journal behavioral processes

Boy that sounds like a scream episode. I think I skipped that The fact that I call it an episode means I'm not ready for that journal. I didn't watch my stories recently

Florkowitz told the Washington Post that the findings show cats are more articulate and affectionate than previously thought and yeah the upshot of this is that cats are having a lot of feelings and we think that they're aloof because well in the case of bubbles she she appears to deeply hate me picking her up but that doesn't mean she's aloof she's having a lot of thoughts and feelings they're just being expressed facially in a way that i'm not

fully uh realizing well that is that uh see i i do think i see my cats make a lot of in fact this makes me feel a little bit less nuts because sometimes you're sitting there like oh you kind kind of like imbue them with something right yeah and sometimes you I was actually thinking about this today these were thoughts I really intended to keep inside my head I'm not even joking because I was having a little moment with bingo today and I was thinking about our relationship and recently he's been um I've always been very impressed with him when he gets riled up he can he can pull himself back from the brink like he's not a scratcher much like he he's a cat who um i'm always impressed with this more than any cat i've ever known he really likes to use his paws like almost not like a human i won't go that far but like he's like he almost gesticulates he's constantly like exploring things by like kind of poking them he will like tap me a lot he'll tap genevieve but if you're playing with him and you can play with a cat especially a young cat to a degree where you can tell they're getting a little bit riled up and you might want to be like okay i'm going to give this cat a little bit of time to settle down because it's a good cat it's not a violent cat but they kind of lose control and they can for bubbles it's like the south end of

a northbound cat if i'm like if i'm if i'm petting her and then i start petting her down closer to her butt that's when she's gonna like turn around and chomp yeah and i think that different cats

have different like maybe um you know place like i think that the belly of my cat like he'll he'll let me pet it until he lets you know you don't want to pet it anymore but anyway lately i feel like he hasn't been retracting his claws as much. And it's not a terrible thing. Like it's, he's not like scratching me up like crazy, but relatively speaking he's been a little bit, just slightly more aggressive with his play in a way that I don't love. And again, I'm talking like just slightly and it's just sort of funny. I was having these thoughts today, like you and I, cause we were both looking out the window together. He was looking out one window in my office that he can jump up onto. And then I looked out the window with him and he tapped my shoulder and then he climbed on my, he climbed across my shoulders so I could ferry him over to this other window that he can't get to without my help. And he still likes going for rides, but he hasn't been going for rides as much lately on my shoulders. And I was kind of like, oh, are we not as, I was just thinking like, oh, are we not as bro-y as we used to be like a mere couple of months ago? And he seemed to indicate that that is not the case because he was being very, very cute with me. And we sat there and we watched the birds for a while and he would tap me every now and then.

But I was actually do that like chittering thing when he sees birds.

He doesn't do that looking out the window that I've heard, but he will do that playing with the feather game. Anyway, I've said too much. But basically, I was sitting there having a moment with my cat wondering if my relationship with my cat is just slightly, slightly evolving, changing as he gets a little bit older in some good ways. And but also just wondering if it's changing. And then I thought, well, you are thinking way too much into this. But then you're like, OK, no, they have all these different facial expressions. Like, there are reasons why I, as another living creature, would interpret what he's putting out there.

No, I don't think you're crazy at all. What a terrible story. No, it's not a terrible story at all. It's relevant to the topic of cats. It's also, I think our listeners can very much kind of, you know, sense where you're coming from with that. And also, if you have human children, this is a total phenomenon that I experienced when I was raising my kid, which was basically like.

you're constantly mourning the fact that they're not as young as they used to be like you know what I mean like you're you're happy for them to be progressing in their life and it's also nice to not change diapers and stuff but you're also thinking all the time about like man they used to be two yeah right you know they used to be four and it's like it's just it's this weird thing it's sort of like grass growing like you kind of don't see it happening but then you just do in certain moments um so i i think that i think people appreciated that story from you about what's the billy collins poem it's like on turning 10 or something where he's talking about how like it's a it's a very funny a great poem because it's basically like somebody turning 10 who's just thinking the light doesn't hit them the same it used to when they were eight

that's really good i think you've mentioned that before yeah it's one of my favorite like that i

think the book is picnic lightning but it's like it's one of my favorites so these are the things you need to look for in bingo or whatever one's cat might be named when cats feel threatened or unhappy they typically move their ears backwards and they flatten them they lick their lips and they constrict their pupils okay so if that if that's happening with bingo watch out when cats are happy or having fun they move their ears and whiskers forward and outward and sometimes they they close their eyes are you familiar with the slow blink oh yeah definitely i get is there a

better feeling than getting a slow blink from your cat and do you slow blink back i certainly do i

surely do and i feel like okay you know what i'm enough right now like this is for all the mistakes i've made in this life this cat feels comfortable with me comfortable to the degree that they're slow blinking this is we did it burbs we did it yeah i love the idea that it might make the cat

feel calm i don't know how much there is to that but um i uh i love if if bingo i think it indicates

that they are feeling a level of comfort uh-huh where they feel totally safe but you ever do it

to them to calm them down even if they're not do it do you ever initiate the slow i've responded

with a slow blink to a slow blink but you're you're you're saying actually like do it as a

way of calming them yes or just saying i love you because that's how i first heard it i heard that as a way of like communicating to your cat like you are safe and i love you which i don't know that that is true but it makes me feel good can i play a um do you did you want to go more through this list i have a little bit of tape i wanted to play for you if possible do you remember the story of i want to say his name was dusty a cat in san mateo who was a cat burglar in the media loved it somebody our friend cat solan actually uh who's not a cat but a human being um sent me a clip of this old tape which I think I remembered via Instagram and I'd forgotten about it. I mean part of the beauty of this tape is that the cat is beautiful, but take a listen to this.

Outside of San Francisco, a cat burglar is on the loose. Yeah, he is so prolific and so hard to catch. The guy makes others look like amateurs, but ABC's Vic Lee caught up with him today.

Meet Dusty. By day, he's a house pet. When the sun goes down, it's time to hit the streets. Dusty is a cat burglar. so she always steals stuff. Neighbors like five-year-old Ethan McClellan know him by his alias, Klepto, the cat.

Well, she took my mom's swimming clothes.

Neighbors are on guard, but his victims don't intend to file police reports.

No, we haven't, because we know where to go. I think those are for playing hockey.

They go to Jean Chu and Jim Coleman's home. Dusty belongs to them. In the past three years, they figure he's stolen about 600 items, and he's not choosy. He'll take anything that's not locked down. Towels, gloves, shoes, socks, little toys, children's toys. This pair of shoes, which he took in two trips, and even people's personal items. Whiteys, and we have some black ones, too. He especially likes bathing suits drying outside. he stole Kelly McClellan's bikini bottom and then came back about ten minutes

later and took the top home so yeah we know him very well

dusty's mo is always the same he leaves home at night and returns with his loot in the early morning the TV network animal planet recently installed a camera outside the house it captured his nightly forays for a week she says Dusty's record take for one night is pretty amazing one night how many 11 11 different things it's getting dark now the question is which house will Dusty hit it's a perfect night how many times do

you think that that reporter had to redo that video like that level of commitment to the sir The faux seriousness of the situation it it is astounding though to see the video of the piles of shit this cat has brought home and then they really did animal planet put up these like night vision cameras and you see him dragging these things that are like bigger than him down the driveway to bring them home did you

send that to me um do you want me to do you mind i don't i think that's i don't think i've ever

heard that tape before that's really good yeah yeah rest in peace old dusty here i go once again

with the email every week i hope that it's from a female oh man it's not from a female

i'm remembering andrew that uh the other day we ended the show with some tape from you running around the wedding and then we never actually followed up on that

Do you want to – we could talk about it now. We could save it for tomorrow if you want. Just put it in the main section. I don't have –

Yeah, let's do that. Let's move it into the – we'll call it a top story for tomorrow.

Take a note. Okay, good, because what I'll do here instead is play for you this voicemail that I teased at the end of yesterday's show. This is from a listener who didn't leave their name but had a story to tell us. And in the new tradition of TBTL Love it Told the story via Some Imbruglia, right?

Are we in store for some Imbruglia?

It is not going to be a Natalie Imbruglia deep cut, I'm afraid This is a story of something that happened to this listener To the tune of Torn

I thought I saw a man teeing off He was young but still seemed to know What his driver was for Showed me what it was to suck Well, you wouldn't believe this guy He shanked his golf ball Into my car as I drove right by And he shattered my whole moonroof

Oh, no

I don't like him anymore There's nothing where my moonroof used to lie A tense conversation has run dry That's what's going on You won't pay my deductible or anything out of pocket at all. I'm all out of space. This is how I feel. I'm cold and not ashamed. Lying naked in my car. Illusions never change. The sky's ghosting me. I'm wide awake and I can see the sky through the giant hole in my car. Feel it? Well, I guess the fortune teller's right.

All right. first of all i love the click track yeah you gotta stay you gotta stay in time in rhythm exactly i'm just trying to think about the physics of this like so the moon i'm surprised that the moon roof shattered so the ball dropped yeah right such kind of like you know force that it actually shattered because i could see a windshield getting shattered by the way i once i once just absolutely beamed a v-dub van with a golf ball at that like pitch and putt the uh green lake pitch and putt oh okay yeah the little golf source yeah the one of the uh one of the holes it's probably like i think it's like maybe the second hole is right along like i think it's green lake way maybe or whatever it is technically there and i just like whacked a ball and it went right out of the golf whiffed right out of the golf course bounced on whatever that road is up into the windshield panel of a v-dub van and then flew like god knows where and uh thankfully they did not pull over they did not come try to find me for whatever kind of deductible related things but i'm also curious how this listener figured out who had hit the golf ball in question

yeah i i these are all good questions that could maybe be maybe with another song maybe big audio dynamite to rush that's the new i actually haven't checked the voicemail line in a minute so i'm not sure if we have a whole bunch of more story songs um i'm also i'm scrambling around here i thought

this also sucks that the person didn't isn't paying for the you know the damage uh that was

mora in philadelphia i knew i got a text message from that songstress at some point uh so thank you more for sending that in yeah i hope you're hope your car's okay so this guy is also not um is not handling the deductible not handling it that's terrible that sucks yeah again i'm curious

like i mean this must have been like i'm laughing because the what a great song and what a great job by mora but like can you imagine how traumatic that must have been oh my god he's like driving i had like a small rock hit my windshield the other day and i was like it took me an hour to calm down like on the freeway just like a clank you know of like a and i'm like looking for whatever truck has like an unsecured load, you know, I can't imagine.

Imagine a golf ball shattering my moonroof. I mean, that must have been really scary.

I had a cyclist, and I'm guessing that this person was doing it on purpose, like they might have been a punk or something. And this is going back years, and I do mean a punk rocker, like somebody from Big Audio Dynamite 2. Right, sure, but not one. Because you know me. I'm not somebody who, as somebody who drives a car around town and doesn't have a bike of my own, I'm actually not somebody who complains about cyclists at all. I'm very conscientious of it. And I always like kind of think like you're doing better than me by being out here exposing yourself and not driving one of these hunks of metal around like I am. So I always give them super wide berths and everything. But I was somewhere down in South Lake Union like years ago and some cyclists who had their own bike path and I was stopped at a light. I passed the cyclist. They were on my right. And then I stopped maybe 100 yards up for a stoplight with a bunch of other cars. And then as the cyclist passed me, swiped my passenger side side view mirror. And you know how they're kind of on springs or whatever so that they don't break off these days, which is cool. And I always got the impression that this person was just an asshole. And I don't know if I had done something to offend the cyclist. I kind of doubt it. I wasn't, you know, I don't have any recollection of cutting them off or anything like that. Maybe it was actually an issue and they were just trying to get by and their handlebar accidentally hit the mirror. I'm not sure in my head they've always been an asshole for whatever that's worth but it scared the shit out of me like you want to talk about that I don't know if you do want to talk about this you didn't raise it but you want to talk about that flight or fight response like I could have killed that person in that moment like they were then they zoomed past me and I didn't see him again so don't worry there were no murder charges filed but like there was something about me just being in my car at night you know a relatively quiet serene situation and then somebody hitting my car briefly and causing no damage like i wasn't rationally angry but just like i was surprised out of my skin and i remember just coursing through i could have you know like i could have killed a saber-toothed tiger as you might say

in that moment you know yeah now imagine that it's just glasses raining down yeah and again this is the question for maura how did you like okay so the golf ball kind of gave it away right like glass is shattered and presumably there's a golf ball sitting in like the passenger seat so we've we figured out part of this mystery yeah but how do you what golfer do you even like look for yeah like how do you go find so you pull the car over you get out and you're like did anyone just drop a moon rock into my car and then they were like yes but also i will not pay the Mm-hmm.

Also, I believe Maura has a very thick Scottish brogue, I think, too, and it sounds like she's saying gopher, and then people are like, why would a gopher run your car?

Yeah, why would you kill all the gophers?

Do I have that right? Was it Scottish, Luke? I'm not really that familiar with that movie.

No, no, no. I am very familiar with that movie, and you're exactly right. Then look at me. I will tell you this. I will dazzle you with this deet that no one cared about, but I think Bill Murray was supposed to be on the shoot for one day. like it was basically a cameo but they just loved him so much he was so funny they just kept like the Carl Spackler character was not supposed to be as prominent in the film as he ended up

being and also I know I played this kind of Saturday Night Live deep cut for you a long time ago and I was just watching it I was showing my dad it when we were in Cleveland when I was in Cleveland this past week but one of my if not my favorite Saturday Night Live sketch is it must have been the last one of the night and it's sometime in the early 80s or late 70s and it's just steve martin comes out dressed like just kind of a dorky tourist and he's just staring at the camera pointing at nothing just saying what the hell is that thing and then eventually bill murray comes he's like come here get a look at this and bill murray comes out and that must be a spackler

prototype do you remember that yes it's i i remember it um i don't think i even knew about that until you referenced it on the show but then i went and watched it and it's totally carl spackler yeah he's doing the kind of lower lip thing like he's doing the that was him developing

the the that character yeah and he's wearing like a really um dirty looking like sweatshirt or something i think he might even be dressed like him again i did see that movie caddyshack um i saw it once and i'm not just saying i'm not saying this to be argumentative but i i just was not i just didn't like it that much and it might have just suffered from the weight of expectations i just grown up hearing that this is like this comedic masterpiece and I watched it in college probably during a time I wasn't watching a lot of mainstream movies I was just like really like I

just I I never got into that movie it it hit me differently because I also didn't watch it till I was a young adult but I had no expectation about the film and so for me it was like the Bill Murray stuff you know like which is clearly just

him riffing you know the like talking about the dalai lama and all this stuff uh it it like it worked for me so much that uh that i i loved the film i bought it on dvd i watched the director's commentary that's how i know that carl spackler is only supposed to be there for one day um but uh but only because i had no expectation going in so can i can i try something here andrew um which is is playing an SNL sketch with Alec Baldwin and Kristen Wiig that I had never seen until the other day. And I think it might be in the top, like, 10 SNL sketches ever. I almost, did I send this to you? I don't think so. I almost, I wanted to send it to you, because I know that you're not, like, the biggest SNL head, per se, but I was like, I bet you that you would get a kick out of this. Can I just play this for you? It's four minutes, so this is kind of like, you know, this is a reach it's um it's the the premise is alec baldwin and kristin wig are carpooling together so they work at whatever the same company is and things sort of go sideways but we have to get to the by the way trigger alert there is a there's a joke at the end of this that is both devastatingly funny and probably not a joke we might make anymore so about about as they say sa but but can I just play this for you and get your reaction I really want I I can't believe I didn't know about this but I think it's kind of great all right here we go you know in some places the

prices are still almost three dollars a gallon it's crazy well carpooling was definitely a good

idea at least now I don't feel like I'm losing money going to work I know plus having someone

else in the car makes the drive go faster yeah this is a nice car thank you oh so it looked like you were having some words with your neighbor back there.

I'm sorry?

When I drove up, he was ranting and raving. That must be fun, living next to a crazy old man.

That's my dad. He actually lives with us.

Oh, I'm sorry.

He's not quite right anymore. He had wandered into the neighbor's yard. I was trying to get him back to the house to put some clothes on him.

I'm sorry, that must be really hard.

It is, especially on the kids. So where do you guys live?

No, no, it's just me. I'm by myself. I have an apartment.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were married.

I am. He ran away.

Oh.

It's okay. He left a note. It was nice. But he can't live with me anymore. But it's okay.

So what happened to those bonuses we were supposed to get this summer? Oh, yeah, those bonuses.

Honestly, I don't even think they exist, you know? It's like it's a big myth. It's like Bigfoot.

I believe in Bigfoot. I've seen him twice, so he's real.

I didn't mean to offend you.

It's all right. You weren't there.

Do you want to listen to some music or something?

Sure, that'd be great. Celine Dion, anything but that, I cannot stand her. Do you mind if we change the station?

It's a CD. Sorry.

Do you mind if we put in a different CD?

They're all Celine.

Big fan, huh?

When I was 17, I was kidnapped and taken to Peru. After four months, I managed to escape, but couldn't get back to the U.S. I begged for money to buy a piece of paper and a pencil so I could write a letter. I wrote that letter to Celine Dion to come and rescue me, and she did. She's an amazing person. She's an amazing person.

I'm sorry, I should have known.

It's okay, I'm just sensitive about it. You know, she's always been there for me, you know. She's my rock.

Your rock?

Yeah, what?

Just that last summer, my dentist and I were rock climbing, and he fell into a crevasse where he got his foot stuck. The coyotes were circling, so I did what I had to do when I chewed his foot off with my teeth. So you should be a little more careful with the words you throw around.

What words I throw around?

Yeah.

Someone threw a box of dictionaries out of a four-story window crushing everything below my waist. No one came to help me for so long. I started reading one of the dictionaries and got halfway through C, so I think I know a little something about people throwing words around.

I'm sorry. That must have been awful for you.

I'm metal from the waist down.

I like that one person in the SNL live audience really loved that joke. Is that what that sound was? I thought it was a joke about the metal. I couldn't tell what I was hearing. I think one person.

was responding to i'm metal from the waist down okay we only have 20 more seconds i'm sorry

you know what it's fine you know what they say don't worry be happy bobby mcferrin rate my

grandmother is that maybe the edgiest joke that's ever been told wow that's the thing like i will

never sit i'm sure i will never sit down to like watch snl like live or whatever it is on the west coast or whatever but like there are just decades and decades and decades of hidden gems like that that i have no idea about until you're playing for an art to my grandmother is i have to say one of the classic snl lines well we are having a meeting later about things we want to put in the tv tale merch store i guess we can raise that as a but you've already said that we have to stop

Biting other people's rhymes

No that is true So I guess We can't sell a t-shirt Bobby McFerrin Art my grandmother Yeah so There you go

Well what a way To end the show Burbs Great job Alright that's gonna do it For today's Edition of TBTL But I have some amazing news We're gonna be right back Here tomorrow With more imaginary radio For you So please do join us For that In the meantime Have a great Wednesday Take care of yourselves And please remember No mountain too tall And good luck to all

What the hell is that? How did that dang deal get here? Hey, come over here and look at this deal.

what the hell is that i don't know what the hell that is what the hell is that hey you kids get away from there i would not mess with that thing don't put your lips on it power out