Muse

Good morning. I have an earworm that I thought I would sing into this little imaginary radio show voice catcher, and maybe it will leave my head. Okay, here we go. Splooch. The diarrhea turtle lives in Australia. That is literally all I got. It just is going around and around and around in my head, and I need it to stop. Okay, we're out.

guess what day it is guess what day it is it's Friday Friday gonna get down on Friday

everybody's looking forward to the weekend for $20 I can tell you a lot of things for 30 I can tell you more and for 50 I can tell you everything it's kind of weird I feel like I'm being

interrogated but by someone who doesn't really want to know anything important for the sake a customer service try to chill out my mom oh my god man we are seeing some we ain't never seen before well all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a friday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live fun sexy time for you my name is luke burbank i am your host i don't even know why i'm here for coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched It's high above the mighty Columbia, where the fall leaves are spectacular, but it is very foggy out here on the river today.

A foggy day.

But I'm still with it. I can still get down with even the fog out here. I will say of all of the disruption to my life and all of the ways in which I've been living sort of, I don't know, like, you know, living in just this home that is not really fully inhabitable, etc. The staring at the river while talking to all of you, that part has totally worked out the way that I was hoping it would here on episode 4073 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. So we got that going for us at least. Now, you may have seen headlines flying around the Internet today saying that Jared Leto, the actor and singer, became the first person ever to climb the Empire State Building. I'd like to point out to anybody watching, this is really bunk journalism. There are some things about the story that I'd like to clarify because the celebrity industrial media complex, I feel, really let me down. Yeah, we know you're good at lying. So we'll get into that. also we've got this game from the show Dragnet trying to, I believe it's from the good folks at the My TV Network. That's a great name for that network because I don't want to cast aspersions, but it seems like the kind of thing someone who watches that era of shows would just call it. Like, has anybody seen My TV? I want to watch my programs. We're going to do a quiz about 60s, like, hipster, beatnik, hippie language as presented by the show Dragnetso. Now we're going to look at a place where hipster culture and world events collide. And we'll talk to this guy, the longest-running cobro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He has a very, very busy weekend planned.

Digging at your gap for the Rizzler.

He's so skibbity, he just wants to be your Sigma. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

It's MeTV, so everything stands except it's got to be a leprechaun. Thank you. That's a very good point.

I've got to watch MeTV. I don't do accents. I don't do accents. That wasn't bad. That wasn't bad. No, you're right. Thank you for trying to make that work, because I did feel like you were slightly collateral damage to that, because I feel like you might check in on the MeTV now and then for the various programs that you like to watch.

Would that I were. If I hadn't cut the cable, I'd have it tuned into MeTV and you break off the knob.

You don't have some kind of Romanian website that will help you stream episodes of Dobie Gillis that are normally on MeTV?

That is a good point. I probably could get my hands on some MeTV.

I feel like that content is so analog. It might be the one thing that there's no illegal streaming of because it's never been uploaded to anything digital. It's a guy with very thick glasses who's putting a huge beta tape into a player somewhere.

I said I would turn on MeTV and break off the knob, and then I started laughing to myself thinking about what if my television, what if everything was the same about the television that I have right now except it also had a knob? When's the last time you had a television with a knob?

I don't want to get us derailed right here at the tippy top of the show, but I did see some sort of product being advertised online the other day that for like four seconds kind of intrigued me. And then I was like, wait, what am I even thinking? And what it was, Andrew.

Andrew is, you know, the race now that the arms race, if you will, is to the space race is to get the thinnest, flattest TV possible, because that's what we're all going for. Maybe something you even mount on the wall. Actually, Becca's brother and his wife have a very cool setup at their house where they have an ultra thin television in their living room that when it's not playing TV, it's just showing art. And it's I like it's the whole thing is so thin that it's Like, I didn't even realize it was a TV. I just thought it was like a big, you know, very sort of nice digital whatever display of some painting or something, right? So that's very cool. And that's kind of, as I'm thinking about when my house is actually inhabitable and there's like, I don't know, a floor or maybe ceilings. And I have a living room in there and I have a television. I'm thinking about trying to do something like that because historically I've been not huge on having. if it's possible, I don't love having a TV in my living room. If the place that I'm living allows for it, for there to be another room where the TV lives, or a basement where the TV lives, that's kind of more my style. But that's not the layout here at this place. There's kind of one big room where the kitchen and living room are all kind of together. So I'm thinking maybe, okay, I'll do some kind of cool thing with this TV where it's like, you don't even realize it's a TV unless we're watching the Hawks game. But here is where I'm so suggestible. This is what they're now selling. like an old-timey exterior that makes it so that your brand new flat OLED whatever I don't even know the newest technology 20k technology you put this frame around it so it looks like an old-timey television that they would have been watching during my three sons or the honeymooners so it's

like is it like a really big cabinet style television that was my grandparents had one of

those no it's it's just the screen part so think more think less that big cabinet that housed the tube TV and think more when the tube TV sat on top of a separate thing. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yep. So it's just the, it's, it's just a thing that goes around the TV that I'm sure is a very light fiberglass, but it makes your new cool television. And then you, you just presumably screw it into the wall over your television, it makes your new cool television look from just the front anyway, like it's something that you would have seen in a 1960s television show and i don't know why that appealed to me because it's not my aesthetic and it's the opposite of what i've been going for but that's how suggestible i am i also wonder if because you

only saw this in an ad is that correct yeah it might not even be yeah i wonder if it looks a

little cheap once you it very very well might who knows as we've established i'm i'm prone to just buying things off the internet lately that may or may not work see this week's hey dummies yeah i

want to give a shout out i almost texted you yes i loved this week's hey dummies video thanks no spoilers luke but i just want to tell people if you haven't signed up for the tv newsletter yet do it so that you can watch this video luke made he's been talking about this little thermodynamic powered propeller toy that he bought on tiktok or via tiktok and um you wanted to see if you could get it to work on the video and so i don't want to say whether or not it worked but i will say that the video itself uh was very entertaining and i got just the tiniest bit already at the end of it luke in my production so i want you to i may even i may even download the tv till newsletter this week i don't want to i don't want to over i do not want to oversell it it's a very subtle thing that i do at the end but i um as a producer i should say but i but it but it tickled me it was one of those things that ira glass says you got to do you got to do something

for the producer every now and then right absolutely and and um no i look forward to that well i'm glad because i kind of i i was wondering if that thing i think i said in the video i don't know if this is in any way entertaining for the weekend review excuse me the hey dummies viewers uh the newsletter uh you know subscribers but this was something i needed to figure out for myself so you never know those videos if they're just totally self-indulgent or if they're actually

moderately entertaining no no no i'm glad that we did it this way it was very i was on the edge of

my seat good good good okay excellente i was on the edge of my seat andrew um last night when i I started seeing these videos pop up on my phone about the actor and singer, Jared Leto, climbing the Empire State Building. I feel like I tend to sort of soak in a different part of the news jacuzzi than you do. So I don't know if this...

Well, that's because whenever I get close to you in the news jacuzzi, you say, excuse me.

Why is the water even warmer over here? There's clearly a sign that says no peeing. Those are more bubbles than I usually see. Exactly. So I started seeing last night these clips And they were very epically shot Of Jared Leto Climbing the Empire State Building Let's see And this was the music that was playing by the way Which I've now learned is a 30 second to Mars song That's his band He did this He climbed the Empire State Building Because they're kicking off

world tour so this was like a way of generating publicity and at least on the parts of the internet and instagram and tiktok that i tend to look at it really seemed to be working just imagine he's wearing this orange jumpsuit he's he's the the building is kind of lit up in this really cool way it's just drones are circling him and this epic music is playing

that's like the extent of the clip because it's instagram so it's like you know whatever but it's

just like these really epic shots of him climbing this thing and then i'm i'm reading up and i see like a headline in on cnn that says literally the headline is jared leto really climbed the empire state building and i'm like geez that seems really hard to do and then i start looking around and i'm seeing headline after headline that says jared leto becomes the first person to ever climb the empire state building which i was like wow maze that hasn't happened yet but also i'm noticing that the footage that i'm seeing of him climbing it's on this it's on the top part of the building which is again it looks really hard and i want to be very clear i could not have done this thing that jared leto did i could not have climbed even 20 feet of what he climbed but i kept trying to find some footage of like how did he get up the base of the empire how did he get up 90 of the empire state building because we're seeing him on the very top of the birthday cake that is the empire state building and i had to dig around so far to get any kind of confirmation that what he did was climbed the top part of the empire state building still not an easy task but not the empire

state building if you walked by the empire state building in new york city on the morning of november 9th by the way this is from i think e news i don't know if this is a bot or a human that's

not walter kronkite no this ain't uh this this ain't a tom brokaw my friend by the way this is

a human i'm trying to i'm trying to um make any corrections for yesterday's show with all the slang you introduced me to yesterday's show was too young so i'm trying to balance out the week with walter cronkite references thank you for that and me tv yes and stick around for it i i mean

i'm gonna give this person i'm gonna i'm gonna give this person a uh whoever recorded this or whatever ai program recorded this i'm gonna give them a put up and a put down the put down is i would say I'm not crazy about the writing. The put up was at least they do get something

factually right here. If you walked by the Empire State Building in New York City on the morning of November 9th, you were greeted with an unusual sight. It wasn't a bird or a plane that you saw, but rather it was Jared Leto climbing. Are you sure I could have sworn

that was a seagull? I thought that was an airplane climbing a building. It was definitely

either a seagull or a learjet wait it was jared leto okay climbing the top 18 floors of the iconic new york city landmark okay there you go here's the put up good job for being the only person

literally this possibly ai voice on this one andrew i can't tell you how much time of my life how much time that i'll never get back from my life that i lost last night trying to get confirmation on if jared leto had climbed the entire empire state building as was being described by literally every headline and story I could find or if it had only been this top part because I figured that was the much more likely scenario only this weird voice confirmed that it was the top 18 floors that's the don't you feel that if where the headline is Jared Leto climbed the Empire State Building we should clarify that what he climbed was like 10% of the Empire State or the top of the top of it just say he climbed and again I want to be really clear because I'm sure we have big 30 seconds to mars fans and we have big jared leto's a very decorated actor like

i'm not down on jared leto oh i am i i'll take the heat i'll take the smoke sure i fucking hate that guy i think he's terrible every time i'm watching whenever i'm watching a movie and enjoying it all of a sudden he's in and i'm just like what the why would they do that why are they ruining this with that guy i do not know much about him all i know is he's a movie ruiner and i don't understand why people like him and also that music that you played earlier sucked not for

you that you're not I don't I'm not Andrew are you officially of the opinion life is not beautiful

I just think it's great that somebody is finally tackling the question of whether or not life is

beautiful in art now okay truth be told you know if you like him I'm not mad at you I'm not one of those people who's going to tell you you're wrong he sucks good I'm glad you enjoy it I

Dallas Buyers Club, I think he got, like, an Oscar for that.

I didn't see that. And, you know, that's the truth. Like, I am not that familiar with his work. I was really enjoying it. the new Blade Runner which isn't that new anymore and then all of a sudden I didn't even know who he was and I didn't know he was in that I'm just like why is this scenery chewing maniac ruining this movie like I did not understand it and then there were like I think there were two other examples and I was just like I don't understand it bro like what is going on he doesn't seem like a good actor to me but maybe I just don't know what people are going for

He's a scenery chewer, and he's, you know, I mean, I got to give Jared Leto this much. The guy does not appear to be aging a minute because he was on My So-Called Life, I believe, which is where I think maybe we have some folks that would be fans of his work because, you know, that was a pretty kind of fundamental show to a lot of people of a certain age. Claire Danes, you know, kind of a fraught, you know, a teen show that a lot of people really loved. And I know I believe he was on that program. Yeah, I just don't spend a whole lot of my time thinking about Jared Leto from day to day. But, Andrew, this was the other thing. Well, let me just also play you, just because I want to try to, if I can, put the final nail in the coffin. When he was done climbing, quote-unquote, climbing the Empire State Building, he then got down to talk to the Today Show, of course, to promote the 30 Seconds to Mars.

In fact, he ascended 1,200 feet into the air, all the way to the ice shield at the base of the building's spire. Upon returning to the ground, Jared made his way over to the Today Show plaza to speak with the anchors about his ascent and explain why he did it. I made it. I'm alive. All right, so you made it to the top.

Yes, yes. I love that the hosts of the Today Show seem genuinely surprised that Jared Leto is admitting to them on live television to being alive. As he's standing in front of them in his corporeal form. Like, and then...

Yes, I made it to the top, and I was just saying I saw my mother in the window of the 80th floor, and that was a nice surprise.

She had no idea he was even going to be there. That's, I think that's the craziest part of that story.

She was having an affair. That's the real thing.

I mean, and that's, that's what happened, you know, curiosity killed the cat. Jared shouldn't be sticking his nose where it doesn't belong or you're going to find out things. Again, none of, I don't have as strong of feelings about Jared Leto as you do, Andrew, but I can tell you this. Also, the idea that he's the first person to climb the Empire State Building is factually false. a guy who is known as the French Spider-Man, aka Elaine Robert, fucking did it in 1994 with no ropes and no permission. I'm looking at it on Wikipedia. I was watching footage of a different dude climb the Empire State Building already. Because if there's one thing I know in this day and age, it's that most tall buildings have been scaled by someone who may or may not have had permission. So I just want to clear the record. Not only did Jared Leto, is he not the first person to ever climb the Empire State Building. That was already done. He didn't climb the Empire State Building. He climbed the tippy top part of it, which also I'll say looked very hard like that. I could not have done that. Like, that's not nothing. But it's not the first person to ever climb the entirety of the Empire State Building.

Hey, human fly here. Hello. Exactly. Exactly.

So anyway, I just, sorry, I got a little worked up about that.

No, I'm looking, I mean, I didn't know about this until you brought this poison into my life today. But first of all, I'm awake now. Thank you. Maybe you need to bring up Jared Leto at the beginning of every show. You know what woke you up? The music of Jared Leto touching your heart. But OK, I mean, if you like him, you like him, whatever. I'm not mad at you, but I am mad at every one of these headlines I'm looking at. I mean, you've already you've you've gone on this journey, but I'm mad at the media. Once again, I'm mad at Google. Here is every news headline. I'm going to read you maybe the first 10. All I typed in was Jared Leto and hit news, by the way. I didn't even type in the OK. People magazine. Jared Leto climbs the Empire State Building to announce 30 seconds to Mars tour. no he didn't climb the Empire State but well actually the top if you say I climbed that building it is heavily implied that you climb the whole thing right like if I climb more than

heavily yeah okay I would just say all you have to do is say he climbed the top of the Empire State Building yeah like that would be accurate and and again very hard like I do not want to diminish what he actually did is challenging but the way it's being described is inaccurate yeah so that

was people magazine which okay hollywood reporter i respect the hollywood reporter jared leto scales empire state building to promote 30 seconds to mars tour uh scales building that is inaccurate cnn you already quoted this one directly this one is like goes out of its way to lie jared leto really climbed the empire

state building not true cnn uh i guess me and all of my conservative um family members can agree that that is bunk journalism coming out of cnn fox news i'll tell you this fox news actually

gets it partially right if you go into the body of the article they say first person to legally

climate oh interesting the headline though says actor singer this is fox news jared leto becomes first man to scale empire state building legally okay there you go there's that legally I'll give him that.

I'll give him that. Somebody is respecting the human fly. Thank you.

Hello, Jared Leto from CBS, your colleagues at CBS, which you better bring this up.

Let me down on this. I don't know what I'm going to do.

You better bring this up during the editorial meeting. I assume, is that what you do before you dial up with me? Every weekday you sit in. I'm in charge of the entire kind of news vision of the Columbia broadcast system. CBS gets it wrong. jared leto climbs empire state building to celebrate the world tour blah blah uh vanity fair at least states it as a question why did leto climb the empire state building i think the guy

that you really want to get down with andrew who seems to have really share your feelings this is somebody that wrote a piece for the guardian i don't have it in front of me but it said something like ultimate look at me person says look at me i kid you not like and this guy even he doesn't have a beard but the guy's like thumbnail the guy at the guardian he looks like you guys would be friends like you guys would hang out at teddy's and and would be equally kind of put off by this by this kind of of of performance i guess and i guess the final

headline i'll read is from the onion jared leto asks if he's ever going to get in real trouble for the stuff that he's been doing that's actually from a month ago that's actually a pretty funny

funny the onion never lets me down i'll tell you in this for the poll quote is you would think someone would have gotten me by now says leto you know where there's going to be some really good journalism andrew and that is town hall next thursday night uh november the 16th because we're doing live wire at town hall and there are still tickets available and i would really love if any of the tens that are yearning i mean you know obviously if you're listening to this show you're a tbtl 10 which is great but if you can't get the real stuff if you can't get me and andrew on stage at town hall wouldn't you take one half of the equation on stage and maybe andrew in the audience who's been invited i'd put the chances at less than 20 it's a busy week for me it really is actually it's funny because i was texting some of our friends in seattle saying hey if you want to come by the show you know we're pals i can put you on the guest list and i just threw you on there out of respect but i was like you could not pay andrew enough to come well no i mean i've been

to those shows before i really do have a bunch of social in fact i went to dinner with a bunch of those friends last night i was curious now that wasn't that did not seem like a group text you sent it seemed like a copy and paste job what were you that was a group text because I got one singularly or do you have a way of sending out a group text so that I don't see everybody who's copied on it I don't it's that no not at

all I'm looking at it right now really so I was just yeah it's got it's got I'm the way it looks from my end is it's got you it's got it's got the whole gang it's got the whole Eagles gang on it but I don't know maybe it only did it only go to you know that says I wasn't responded to me but here's the weird thing rodin responded to me but it was like he was responding directly like it wasn't on the chain i wonder if there's something about the way that this chain came together that it looks like oh that's too bad so everyone probably thinks i just emailed them this very general no i was sending it to like eight people oh this is interesting because i'm looking at my

this is oh my god i i seriously just had a moment where i remember that people are listening um i'm not joking this is so not life's still beautiful the good news for you is the good news for you is people are like wait a second i can hear luke without this other guy that's amazing i should go to town hall um but anyway yeah no your text to me just appeared in like because i got the text above it is about hey dummies and the text

below it that's a bummer because i bet you i i would feel personally a little i would be a little put off if i got a text from you about something you were putting together where you were like you know kind of ginning up an extra few people in the crowd but it felt like I was just you were cutting and pasting to me because there's a way that you write a text there's a way one writes a text or message to like eight people and then a way one writes that text to one person so if it was coming into everyone's phone like it was me reaching out to them directly but in a really general way I hope that didn't seem kind of detached because I was just inviting the Seattle

crew yeah that's funny because it's fun also to get a text you know like to get a little text

chain going because right and i was like i said i found it i found it weird not weird but i was like oh odd that that rodent decided to respond directly to me like why wouldn't he just respond on the chain like you know cool we'll be there or whatever so that there's something funky funky little text went on but

here's the takeaway to all this uh if you've ever wondered what it's like for me to team up with sam sanders of npr it's been a minute fame you can find out on thursday night november 16th at town hall because he's going to be one of our special guests so uh it's a very big room and if you can't tell i would really like us to try to get as many people in that very big room as possible

we like so what happened was we sold out this text that you sent me was sweating i don't know

how does that come through but it doesn't show the group i don't know because like so the first First time we did it there, we did it in the basement, and that's a smaller room, and we sold that one out. And then we moved upstairs, and then we had a really great show upstairs last time, and now we're coming back kind of quickly off of that last show, and it's just like, you know, it's a, that is a, I don't know, like a thousand person room is pretty big for us. I will, I don't know if I should be doing this or not, but I will play you a little bit of audio, Andrew, that take you into the world of what's going on hawk squad related to this so here's the first thing my unbelievably talented young niece uh maddie who's a senior at shelton high i believe is what they call it uh is has written co-written a production like a theatrical production that's also going up the same weekend so she had texted out to the hawk squad hey just to let you know uh i we have this show that uh that that i helped write and we're going to be you know staging it i think at her high school or at the local theater there in shelton on i think it's like thursday friday saturday it's called uh the nature of community it's a night of musical theater it's at shelton high school and it's the the shelton higher choir and presumably drama department now i'm in the position andrew because guess what november 16th when my niece maddie is putting her show up guess what i'm doing livewire town hall sam sanders now i have to figure out am i big dogging my own niece when i jump into hawk squad and say um by the way i'm also doing something on november 16th like i'm i'm trying to counter program against my beloved niece yeah which feels bad but i also would like my you know my seattle family they don't get to come to livewire very often so i said something like not trying to step on maddie's toes at all but just so you know i'm also going to be doing something on on that Thursday night. And then that was when Addy jumped in on video holding her cat blue and

just said this. Hey guys, not to be weird, but I just wanted to let you all know that on November 16th, I will actually be in the downstairs of town hall performing my one woman show. Single 30 year old loves her cat. So yeah, don't, don't want to, you know, not trying to ruffle any feathers but um if most of you could make it it would um it would mean a lot to us so thanks

see you there so there's basically three different productions now within the family all going on november 16th i'll go to that one honestly uh addy talking about her cat i think that that might have uh that might have the other two productions beat can i bring my feather game can i bring bingo's feather game no no no they actually confiscate those that's like trying to bring your cell phone into a dave chapelle show they make you lock that thing up because can you imagine

you can bring the feather thing in but it goes in a big magnetic case that you carry around because like imagine just like the cat is on stage but like two people have those feather things oh you're right yeah and it's just like forget it yeah game over some yahoo brings in

a laser pointer it's over that remains endlessly and completely engrossing for bubbles like of all different things that i've you know gotten her and laser pointers and even like a laser thing that you attach to the like glass on the sliding glass door that's supposed to just kind of autopilot the whole thing whatever it is stuff with catnip on it that friggin treadmill there is nothing that she has really consistently given two shits about except for that feather thing and when like i'm going down to becca's this afternoon when i'm hanging out down there and i'm just like sitting on the couch she would chase that thing for three hours if i if i was willing to flit it around and flick it around for three hours she would i mean it's and i i just i don't think that she's like a genius but i don't understand how it remains so fascinating to her like it's how she doesn't sort

of extinguish it as they say at some point oh yeah no i think about it all the time if i was the cat after a while especially with the laser pointer but with both of them the laser pointer and the feather game like you'd think that the cat would be irritated by me doing that like dude you keep out like come on but like bingo is again a very communicative cat and i don't mean like vocal necessarily but like it's very he makes it very clear what he wants at any moment either by just like deliberately poking you with his paw or like shepherding you somewhere and we keep when we're not using the feather i Peace.

stick the pole kind of in the back of the couch cushion between the couch cushion and like the back of the couch so that it's sort of is, is eternally dangling so that he can come up and bat it every now and then the exact same thing. He will climb up onto the back of the couch and sit on the back of the couch and then wrap his arm around the stick part. He does what we call the human part of the game. If we won't play with him and he, he'll come and like try to shepherd me to the game. I'm like, dude, I don't know if you know this. I've got a podcast, you know, I can't just be playing with cats all day. So he's like, fine, And he'll go and he'll just do it himself.

I'm engrossed by MeTV right now.

I got to watch MeTV. He'll just bounce it himself with his hand and then just stare longingly down at the floor where the feather is bouncing up and down. While he, with his paw, will just do the human part.

Bubbles' move on that is to, because I will also wedge it in the back of the couch, hoping that she'll just kind of like have fun on her own, which is not her move. So she will at some point Like maybe early in the morning If I open the bedroom door or whatever We'll just I'll get up and I'll step out of bed And then like next to me Will be the entire feather toy apparatus That she has brought into the room Along with everything else That she thinks might be entertaining Just to be like Can we do this It's like that takes me into her world Of how desperate she was At 5.30 in the morning Because I'm just trying to catch A little more sleep And then it's just like It's the feather thing It's the you know This one little mouse that she loves oh i do need to put that mouse on on what is this whatever that what is it did you get to the bottom of that by the way you lost me what is this what didn't you put something on that

what is this reddit yes yes yes i'm sorry yes yes yes sorry i didn't know what you're talking i also

thought you and our connection went down because we also use that terminology i was i was paying

attention but you said oh i gotta get that mouse thing on what is that thing and i didn't know if For a second, I just had no, I totally lost the thread. Rotation? Did you think I was having an aphasia?

And that's fine. No, sorry. I was so vague with that. That was one of those moments, Andrew, where I forgot that we were broadcasting. You were just like, I gotta. And I want to apologize. Yeah.

Did I finish telling you the story? It was my swatch watch. I zoomed in on it, posted a photo. It was a blurry image of my swatch watch from a photo of me as a kid in the 80s. And I was like, hey, can anybody figure out which watch this is? Maybe I could find it on a collector's site somewhere. I did a little bit of searching around, couldn't find it. First time I ever posted to that thread, I'm a very apologetic poster, Luke. I've never, because those threads have so many, or those subreddits have so many rules, right? Like, sometimes there will be a very common object that everybody looks for, so there will be a rule. Like, read rules first. Do not post this object. We've been there. We've done that, you know? So I was just like, I don't know.

You were saying that they also tell you to post something in your own comment thread to prove you're not a bot?

It was interesting, yeah. And I think it's a different word because I'll tell you what it was for me. So basically, okay, I'm going to whisper this. So I took this photo of me and my cat, slightly enhanced on my blurry watch, and I said, help me find this thing. In the description, I said, I've looked in a couple of places, couldn't find it, thought maybe y'all could help. i i first looked to make sure that there were no rules about not posting like swatches or watches or something because it it could have very easily happened that they would have responded how dare you this is for r slash help me find swatch you know what i mean there could be a subreddit dedicated to that i don't like being hollered at so i write a very like kind of polite thing hope this hasn't been covered before um and then i get an automatic response back that says to prove that you're you now this will not go public yet until you leave a comment on your own post and use the word search so i had to leave a comment i wrote hey just wanted to let everybody know that i already searched some swatch sites for this i didn't find it or something got it and then it was like you're really you and i'm like i am me and it's like well then you get to then you get to post this thing and then you get to climb the eiffel tower uh-huh and be the first person since

jared leto exactly but you found out what the watch was right but i mean are you gonna buy i guess my question is are you considering replacing that watch from your childhood i mean i would love

to but the price point is not worth whatever midlife crisis this how can you put a price on a midlife crisis yeah like what let me put it this way the like momentary um midlife crisis You better watch yourself.

All I have, Andrew, is that moment when you unbox the thing and you feel everything feels enough for about five minutes.

For about five minutes. It was like, first of all, the only place I saw it was like in England, and I think it was like 230 pounds or something. Oh, geez. Yeah, that's not cheap.

Yeah, yeah, no. So they haven't reissued it. I'm also a little surprised about that because I feel like the actual components, the materials for a Swatch watch are presumably not very expensive. intensive um and it's i'm you know probably one of those things that's cycled back into the kind of like pop culture because it's just on that kind of timeline to where it's popular again so you think that they just be like cranking out a reproduction of all of them and just selling them you know you could buy them for 25 bucks or something but that's not the case if that company

still exists you know what i should do here though is i should send you a photo of it because i think you'll get a kick out of it according to again i hope that is not on the upcoming 60s slang quiz oh yeah we gotta get that he gotta oh you're really gonna get a kick out of this um i think you'll like this watch but according to the site that somebody linked to it is considered a rarer i believe of swatches and it was part of a divers series which is why it had this so it was fully waterproof, allegedly. I don't know if it really was or if that was just a design

choice. Could you imagine how disappointed you'd be as a diver if you found out the hard way?

Yeah, I feel like it was a water-resistant type of dealio. Wow, this looks terrible on a regular computer and not my phone, but I'll text this to you. The band had a... It was perforated with holes. That's right. I couldn't think of the word perforated last time we talked about this, but it's a pretty cool-looking watch. I would wear it, but yeah, not for 230 pounds. Yeah, I don't even know.

That's got to be like $260. Yeah, somewhere between $260 and a million bucks. Hey, let's thank some donors who are making TBTL possible. This is 100% listener-supported podcasting. Unless you're listening to this in 30 years And we finally landed that Swatch account And we've dynamically inserted Many Swatch ads into the show Outside of that happening Or if you're listening certainly On Friday, November the 10th In the year of our Lord 2023 We're definitely listener supported As of today So thanks to these donors Folks like Brett and Elizabeth Strauch Of Marietta, Georgia

Georgia On my screen, I only saw Marietta. I wasn't sure if it was going to go Georgia or Ohio.

Oh, I have some bad Ohio news for you, Andrew, by the way. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, the slang thing. Yeah, I caught wind of that as well. The new slang for Gen Alpha, is that what it is? Gen Alpha. Yes. Ohio means super cool. So if somebody's like Ohio, it means you're like non-cringe, you're super cool. you walk into a room and everybody just feels more comfortable right isn't that what that means i

think that's what was it cameron maybe said i forget the name of the uh somebody emailed in by the way that that conversation yesterday was sufficient to get someone to reach out for the first time ever and they're like i feel like that's a victory of some kind yep yeah like someone who's just been quietly listening to these antics and now they're like no no i need to actually i need to connect with these with these uh folks i'm stalling too because i'm i'm getting into our extremely non-cludgy email. I don't know. I decided I wanted to give credit where Cameron would. Cameron, listener Cameron, said, I'm an elder Zoomer. I was born in 98 and a silent listener until now. Just a clarification on the Rizzler song that you dissected on the pod yesterday. What I'm also trying to do here, Andrew, is actually edit this Rizzler song. I'm going to take it.

Just play the whole thing. I love it. I really do.

I have to revert to the original, though. So there's a little part towards the end that we didn't really uh i couldn't it was not uh what's the word annotated in the new york times

so therefore i had no idea what they were talking about you're so skibbity you're so phantom tax i just want to be your sigma freaking come here give me your ohio give me ohio i guess is the

give me your ohio and uh cameron said uh just a clarification on the song at the end of the song the kid is saying give me your ohio and unfortunately to the potential chagrin well we did get a chagrin reference in andrew which is always a nice day on the show uh ohio has become the new florida essentially uh to the chronically online anything cringe or wild can be described as ohio energy sorry again andrew um i also can confirm that the skibbity toilets are really quite the saga to behold uh i i'm you know probably we don't need you and i to try to like further solve this mystery or dissect but i wonder how it is that ohio fell into the crosshairs for the extremely online folks i wonder if it had to do with the reproductive rights stuff i wonder how to do with absolutely nothing we'll ever know about like i wonder how how a state becomes shorthand for something that they're they're treating a little bit with a certain

amount of derision well here's my question and we should get back to the donors and i don't mean to

i don't know i can't think sheila gruber is loving every minute of this out there in redmond washington redmond now that's a place i've been that's a place that i'll be in a couple of weeks working for a large software concern but i'm not saying anything else about it andrew let's see

um i couldn't find anything outside of the new york times article i was poking around yesterday that indicated that giat means derriere. Now, in the context of the song, I can't imagine you're sticking something out, but I found a whole bunch of different meanings for it via TikTok. Some people say it means sort of goddamn, or it's just sort of a... Or some people were saying, or some websites were saying, it just means good or great or cool. Other people were saying it's a kind of something that you say when you're surprised, like giat. But I might be going to the wrong places, G-Y-A-T. I know it's spelled slightly different in the little thing that that kid posted who sings the song. I think they spelled it G-Y-E-T. But anyway, yeah, I could not find anything except for The New York Times that said it means derriere.

Interesting. I mean, I kind of have two. I go back and forth on that because on the one hand, it's like probably there's nobody who's not nobody, but it's like The New York Times is not the place to turn for like Gen Alpha culture on the eight-year-old level, right? So on the one hand, I'd be like, well, what does the New York Times know? But on the other hand, the Internet. And like, do they know exactly like it's weird. I trust the New York Times implicitly on most topics. So does that trust extend to their particular take on G yacht or or do they not know what they're talking about? I don't know because I didn't do it. I was too busy looking into Jared Leto's latest antics. So I guess we'll just leave it as an open question.

I guess. I mean, the one thing about it is the New York Times seem to only source that to one child. Right. And they're a 13 year old eighth grader in Pennsylvania. And I'm not even. And by the way, it sounds like I'm arguing for this. I don't have any idea either, obviously. But the only thing about it is in just like generally saying, well, can you just trust what the Internet says in this case? it this is something birthed by the internet you know so it does so but i'm saying unanimity on

the internet like the internet is full of rumors um but certainly that's my only source for that so um and and who knows it could be the thing where it only to the person who wrote that little song they use it that one person uses it to mean hiney or maybe they use it to mean tongue they're using it to mean something that can be stuck out definitely whatever that might be but that might they might be the only person using it that way i mean who knows i mean who might know kate sandvik of minneapolis minnesota oh beautiful heard kate is kate is really kind of the person that we turn to in these confusing times for things like giat uh definitions the the the definitive definitions thank you please get at us also a donna yarling is in janesville wisconsin now maybe it's just because donna has been a long-time supporter of the program i feel like we might have another donor in janesville wisconsin which seems like a lot of donors for two seems like a lot of donors

from janesville yet not enough i i won't rest until all of janesville are listening and donating

and supporting let's turn it into a hot zip yes but thank you so much for your support and for being such a friend of the show for all these years also laurel robertson is in ferguson north

carolina okay we're hearing from some interesting states today i feel like we got a georgia we have a washington which we have a lot of minnesota minnesota wisconsin north carolina and taking it

down to the great state of kentucky where's dana seretsky is in lexington kentucky beautiful yeah we love that congratulations on your uh on re-electing by a wider margin your democrat governor kentucky not to get political on it but um after that last weekend where the polling came out that indicated that trump might be leading biden in all of the swing states the fact that kentucky re-elected their democrat governor by a wider margin than before that was all it was the only thing keeping me even semi-okay this week and i give dana seretsky i don't know dana's politics but i'm gonna go ahead and give dana a lot of the credit on that yeah thank you dana thank you dana And thank you to all of our donors today for making TBTL possible. Couldn't do it without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Can we do something a little bit unusual here, Andrew? Which is, I just want to get, so that I don't have to carry it over the weekend, and because I did print it out, can I give you the three minutes on these stolen Kit Kats? and then we'll jump into the draft. Ragnet game, and that can be kind of the rest of the top stories. Do it, chew it, my dude. So there was this company, a New York-based company. They're called Bokksu, and I think that they sell things that are sort of difficult to find in the U.S., things that are, I think, often available like in Japan. and so they basically spent this company spent 110 000 on a shipment of kitkat kitkat candy bars that were a bunch of different kind of unique japanese flavors like melon uh matcha latte which somebody sent me a bunch of those matcha ones once and i just wharfed them down they were really good also there's one that's like a daifuku mochi so this whole it's actually two huge shipping containers of rare rare here in the u.s kitkat and the idea was that the the company was thinking that they could turn around and sell this uh product for like 250 000 but it ends up and the story is actually fairly convoluted this is a great piece by amelia nirenberg writing in the new york times but this was the part that i thought was it was interesting because of the supply chain being the way it is and because of all the ways that things are always getting handed off to other people into subcontractors now like i feel like there was a day and age and maybe this is i'm i'm i'm wrong about this i feel like there was a time when if like if you ordered something you know the company you ordered it from brought it to you or something or they had their fleet of trucks they sent it out or whatever everything is so like everything is so outsourced and subcontracted and whatever basically what happened was these two shipping containers get to la

And then the person that this company has hired to get them from L.A. out to New York, where their headquarters are, he's not even a person who apparently, like, owns any trucks. He's just a guy that puts, basically, freight shipments onto, like, a Craigslist for this kind of stuff, basically. And somebody, like, jumped on saying, I'm from such and such trucking. And so he put the load with them and then only learned later that they were a scam, that they had basically, like, hacked into such and such trucking. and that they were going to they were just basically like trying to figure out what was in the shipping containers so as to steal them if there was valuable merchandise in there and this is called strategic theft and it's happening way more because the same so basically the guys like can't get a hold of this person that's supposed to be driving the containers out finally somehow gets them to admit that they're scammers and that in fact they've now abandoned both of the the shipping containers in some cold storage place in california which honestly seemed kind of nice of them yeah i was gonna say that's hey nice they're keeping it like they're keeping the product because like that was really important they're kit kats right you leave them out in the baking sun of central california what so like i was like all right and so in this article they talk about how relieved this middle man is that they're on ice like he's so glad the kit kats are still there but they're refrigerated he calls up the refrigeration place and they're like hey first of all you owe us two thousand dollars for storage yeah because we were told this only be here for like a day and and b let's get these out of here and he's like absolutely thank you very much because i um i i'm just excited i'm excited to hear that this shipment is is still intact so he hires another company to go out there and get it they're also scammers and what the hell right and they had also done something where they had basically hacked into one of these existing trucking companies so that they had enough information about the company so as to misrepresent themselves as being the company and uh and and stole them uh at least one of these containers uh was stolen and it's just in the wind there's what i want to tell our listeners is there's a shipping container of rare kitkat somewhere in america probably in california if you see it it's probably yours at this point because it's now been written off as an insurance loss the other one is still trapped apparently at the refrigeration plant because they for bizarre reasons cannot release it to the middleman guy he can't get them to release it because he's not the owner of it but the but the the people in new york have now just said the whole thing is a loss they've filed with their insurance company so you got one container of kit kats that's just in the wind it's unaccounted for and then you've got one that's sitting in this frozen storage place in kind of legal limbo um and there is apparently a rising or an increased thing of this particular kind of uh targeted theft where people are pretending to be someone in the supply chain and then stealing shipping containers presumably just pulling it off on the side of the road and figuring out what the hell is in there and i'm sure if it's kit kats they're

kind of let down like they probably take a few home for the kids but like that's not what you're hoping is in there would be my guess break me off a piece of that kit kat bar so anyway that's the story on that i guess my response boy weird weird response was for me just to sing the theme song

break i do love that song that's a that's a top it's a top 30 jingle you know what i've been

singing this i don't know why this popped in my head yesterday why it first of all why i didn't think of this earlier but i started singing to bingo cat my cat bingo yesterday i love my bingo cat bingo cat bingo cat i love my bingo cat bingo cat bingo cat oh baby cat ribs i wish i'd kept

going i i want you to know i was in perfect time with you from where i am i'm sure there's like a one second delay before i chimed in with my frankie valley style harmonies i just really

wish that we could have done if i had kept going that would have been a beautiful thing i didn't know that you were going to jump in i should have trusted my partner more i don't blame you for that

andrew i mean half the time i'm distracted i've left the room it's we have to rebuild a certain amount of trust before you're ready to just go full harmony with me on that stuff true all right so let's get in do we have any i was trying to find music for this but i don't you know what do we have any dragnet music i bet you i do actually have oh okay love it

now they're gonna do the voiceover i didn't preview this i'm just going to

Just with the drums, there's a lot of similarity. Just this part. No, wait. Forget it. I did the drums. The drums sounded similar, but that was a waste of everyone's time. I apologize.

Can you go back to the beginning? I'm going to count three, two, one. We're going to hit go at the same time, but let's see here. I need you, I need to, I'm not going to hit mine right away when I say one, because there's a slight delay on you. So I'm going to say three, two, one, you're going to go on one. I'm going to go on three, two, one, go. Ready? Okay.

What are we trying to achieve? Your drums, big timpanis going over part of the song. We're just going to see what happens when you sync.

I mean, finally, we are the podcast that will answer the question. What happens when you sync up the 2001 music with the Dragnet theme song? Okay.

So I'm going on, wait a second. I need to do this right. Three, two, one. You're on one, I'm on go. I go on one and you're going to wait. You're going to count off in your own head.

I'm going to say three, two, one, go, but you're going to go on one and I'm going to go on go. Get it? Yeah. Okay. This is going to be awful. Three, three, two, one. Migo.

One, two, one. That life's beautiful. Life is beautiful. Life is beautiful.

It's actually not bad. That was better than I thought, to be totally honest with you.

All right, let's go with this. This is the Dragnet theme song. It does not have the voiceover, which is good. Okay, so yesterday you were quizzing me on some of the slang that apparently the youngest generation is using right now, and I thought I would counter that by giving you a quiz on slang that is used in the movie Dragnet, or I'm sorry, in the TV show Dragnet starring Jack Webb for some reason. And now I started going through these after I proposed doing this on the show. I realized they're way, way, way too easy. At least the top, like, eight are way too easy. Like, um, think, you know what a think is, right?

Yeah, think is kind of like a, is a think somebody who actually, um, uh, like, uh, testifies to the police? A tattletale, I think is.

Yeah, a think, a tattle in this case, I believe. A square, we know what a square is. We know what the fuzz is. But let's go down here to question number eight. And I'll even give you the multiple choices on this if you want. I think they're going to get a little bit harder as we go on. The number eight on this MeTV quiz is Sherlock. What does Sherlock mean? Is it a smart aleck, a detective, or a British citizen?

Wow. That's actually kind of interesting. I could see the detective thing is obvious because Sherlock was, you know, great at solving mysteries, but he's very British, too. So at some point, somebody calls someone a Sherlock. I'm going to go with detective. I'm going to go with number one detective.

You're going to go with detective. And you are correct. Hey, all right. Yes. Take it easy, Sherlock. Hey, hey, look, keep that low. There's some Sherlock snooping around. Number nine, what does travel agent mean? It's a travel agent.

Travel agent.

Now, do you want the multiple choices, or do you want to take a swing?

Let me try to take a swing here. Travel agent. And we don't know who said this in the show.

They do have pictures of people, and I think that later on I'm going to have to describe a picture for you. So I think they are relevant. A smuggler.

I think smuggler.

This looks like a real beatnik.

Like, he's got just the goatee with, like, kind of shaggy hair.

He's calling someone a travel agent. Like, a travel agent, man. Yeah. That's kind of my Maynard G. Krebs, I guess. Yeah. My Bob Denver. Sure, yeah. Calling someone a travel agent. Well, it's more like shaggy, right? Isn't that more what you just did? Well, the thing is, they all kind of live in my – they live adjacent to each other. Now, Maynard G. Krebs was not Shaggy, but when I do an impression of Maynard G. Krebs, I make it sound a little bit like Shaggy, which was famously Casey Kasem, I think. Oh, yeah. Right. I think travel agent would be, I feel like someone, I feel like it's related to smuggling. Okay.

I'm going to give you multiple choice here. It's a beat cop, a drug dealer, or a judge. Travel agent. Now, I like that. Like a judge, and I don't know the answer here. Yeah, right. A judge could send you to jail. Yeah, I think judge. A travel agent or a drug dealer could send you on a trip, of course, or a beat cop could also take you down to Chinatown.

Man, you're making a compelling argument for all three. I was feeling very strong about number one, but I think it's number two.

Number two, the drug dealer, beat cop, or judge?

I'm going drug dealer number two.

Drug dealer, correct. Hey. Hey, man, you have a travel agent that could do me a favor. Yeah, I'm trying to take a trip. Yeah. This is also the music that Gen Alpha listens to. It probably is, honestly. What does Gannon mean when he says caps? Now, I'm thinking Gannon might be Blue Boy from that famous episode where somebody paints their body or their face blue and gold because they're on acid. This whole show was about lecturing people. I watched a bunch of lectures of Jack Webb's character.

Are they lectures about pursuing your creativity in life and opening the doors to perception and how if we're all able to just follow our own journey, we'll be happier as a society?

It's so funny. They're getting into a debate with some, I'm assuming that he might be a marijuana dealer or something, but he looks like a really respectable businessman, but he's young. He's 23 years old. and he's like saying you guys like go after the hard drugs like marijuana is going to be legal someday you're going to go into a store it's going to be branded you're going to take it off the shelf and jack webb's like i don't think so mister let me tell you yes i'm serious i'm like

no actually who wrote that scene that is i mean that's like what is that 80 years before broad

legalization of marijuana the thing is though dragnet has it wrong because they're from the perspective of right okay cops you know so yeah i guess you're right it's a very luxury show in fact i believe it was underwritten at least the radio version i believe was actual like some sort of propaganda benevolence i think it was like actually supported by yeah it was something that

was actually i 100 believe that yeah it's like the the police were to that as the spinach industry was to the popeye cartoon like the answer to every problem is more police more exactly now

you're joking about the i mean you're joking about the spinach right there wasn't actually a

monetary tie-in. I don't know. I think I'd heard a rumor about it, but I don't have any good evidence on that. I will say that everything I think I know about Dragnet, I really know from the Square One educational PBS TV shows version of Dragnet, which was called Mathnet. And I was just trying to find the theme to Mathnet. I can't. It's all just bundled into the overall Square One world. But if you know, you know. If you're somebody like me who, when you were allowed to watch TV it was mostly PBS stuff they had a show called they had a parody show so square one was a show about math surprisingly fun for a show that was a whole related to math something I was terrible at and just like teaching all these math concepts but they just had a lot of parody stuff kind of weird owl style you know so to me as a 9 10 year old I just thought it was great and they had a fake dragnet thing called math net where they were always having to use math to solve things but everything else was just like you know like perfect like pitch perfect fake dragnet down to the like exterior of the like la you know county courthouse and you know this is the city los angeles all of all of the stuff about dragnet but it applied

through math i um did not know about any of that and i've also been searching around for so i'm going to give you a choice here what do you want to hear do you want to hear a speech that jack web is giving um like a timothy leary style guy who clearly we don't hear the timothy leary setup for this but clearly he's saying that like there's nothing wrong with lsd it just expands your mind it's clearly like they're just this show is just shadow boxing the culture right or do you want to see the second one where they're talking or do you want to hear the second one where they're talking to the guy who's like marijuana is going to be legal someday how about the fake to

Timothy Leary. The fake Timothy Leary. OK, I'm going to play this. This is only a minute long. We'll see if we get through the whole thing. I will say this. There actually is a kind of graphic depiction of somebody who is like addicted to heroin on the street at this in one point that I found to be pretty, pretty upsetting. But take a listen to this. I'll tell you what I know. So again, oh, I'm sorry. I don't know if I set this up right. I think the Timothy Leary guy might also be saying, like, listen, you squares have your alcohol. But as soon as we have a different drug, like you want to.

As soon as we have something like psilocybin, which has been shown to actually decrease depression in people.

So there and I think this came up in the other clip I was describing as well. Like, it seems like Dragnet, the writers of Dragnet were often fighting this idea that that drugs are not as bad as or at least on the same level as alcohol.

I'll tell you what I know. I know that, in fact, too many kids that begin with pot end up with heroin. Then on to LSD.

See, I think that's an interesting thing there, like that heroin is before LSD.

Yeah, right, because I don't think that, well, first of all, they clearly didn't understand the long-term ramifications of heroin use. Yeah. But, like, yeah, I would have put those in a different order, personally, knowing a little bit about how that tends to unfold in people's lives.

I'll tell you what I know. I know that, in fact, too many kids that begin with pot end up with heroin. Then on to LSD. I know that if you drink, you suffer a loss of judgment, if you drink to excess. But I also know that judgment returns when you sober up. I know, and so do you. When you flip out on an acid trip, you never know when you're going to slip out again. This is now, Bentley, not a couple of years ago. We've had time now to see and study the effects of LSD. People who haven't had a dose in weeks sail out on another trip. They never know when. The minute they drop one acid capsule or ingest it in any way, they bought the farm. They've lost any chance to depend on and even restore that most precious of all inner senses, judgment. And in my way of thinking, without judgment, you might as well be dead. your brain is so why not the rest of you we were talking about marijuana we still are marijuana is the flame heroin is the fuse lsd is the bomb so don't you try to equate liquor with marijuana mr not with me you may sell that jazz to another pothead but not to somebody who spends most of their time holding some sick kid's head while he vomits and wretches sitting on a curbstone at four o'clock in the morning and when his knees get enough starch back in him so he can stand up and empty his pockets you can bet he'll turn out a sticker to a marijuana and you can double your money he'll be holding a sugar cube or a cap or two so don't you con me with your mind expansion and slop. I deal with kids every day. I try to clean up the mess that people like you make out

of them. I'm the expert here. Wow. Except for everything you think, everything he's attributing to LSD, I think it's much more attributable to heroin. Yeah, I know. People often vomit depending on the particular grade of heroin that you're taking or smoking. Like there's just like, and the fuse. So marijuana is the fuse. Heroin is the flame. Flame. LSD is the smoke. I feel like that

I don't I already closed the tab. I got confused about that analogy. I like it though in the moment I was into it I mean you can't help it to feel no like that rat attack delivery

There's something that even though I fundamentally disagree with everything he's saying I'm kind of here for it because of just how convicted he is when he says it

back to the question what does ganon mean when he says caps does he mean pills bullets or captains of industry okay i think bullets i think bullets uh really i don't know but okay i don't know put a cap in him i well that is true i think that comes later my guess okay i don't know but my guess is caps or pills, but we're going to do it

your way. You're probably right, because I think they just used the term cap in that piece of tape from whatever it is. Yeah, you

guess he's going to have a sugar, you better bet he's going to have a sugar cube or a cap. So I'm going to say pills, you're going to say

bullets. I'm the expert here. Kids love me.

It is pills. I ring the bell as I don't have a buzzer. Capsule. I think the cap is bullet comes later, I think, with the hip hop slang. It's more like It's kind of more like Boys in the Hood. This one I like. Bust a cap. When characters swooped the scene, what did they do? Hey, we swooped the scene. Did they dance? Did they scope the place out? Or did they leave in a hurry? Swooped the scene. I think scoped the place out is my guess. Okay. I'm going to guess left in a hurry. I don't think it's dance. Although I'm going to dance a little bit over here. You're going to say scope the place out. 28 skidoo. Left in a hurry. Oh, sorry. I don't have a buzzer sound, so I'm going to give you the bell for everything, basically. And if I get it right, hey, that's what they call a loophole.

Boop-do-do-boop-scoop.

Boop.

Friday and Gannon hear that blue boy. I don't know who Gannon is. Oh, Gannon must be his partner, right? I don't remember their names. Okay, so.

Friday and Gannon hear that Blue Boy has been this is a quote Friday and Gannon hear that Blue Boy has been quote, chewing the bark off a tree. Is that a euphemism for something? Here are your options. He was really hungry, he was talking someone's ear off, or no, he was literally chewing the bark off a tree. Now you need to know, Blue Boy was probably the most famous episode and it's about a guy on a bad trip.

I just remember that. I'm looking at a photo of Blue Boy right now. He also definitely looks like he thinks Tennessee is going to win on college football Saturday. He just looks like he's right out of one of those shows with like Lee Corso and whomever else sitting there on whatever college campus.

Face painted blue and bold.

Or like he's in Fansville. He looks like he just wandered into Fansville.

That would be a very special

Fansville. A very extremely special Fansville. So, okay, so I think he was literally chewing the bark. You think he was literally chewing the bark?

It's Blue Boy. The fact that they said, is that a euphemism for something? I'm going to go with you on this. He was literally chewing the bark off a tree. Correct. Yes. Although I like it as talking someone's ear off as well. Oh, sure. No, that's great. Can we turn it into that? Can this be the next generation slang? like oh my absolutely hey luke uh let's just look out gen beta that's right let's just chew the

bark that guy did you get stuck talking to him at the thing he was just chewing the bark off a tree

i love this for the description of tbtl yeah two longtime friends just chewing the bark the bark

i love it okay i also love blue boys have you noticed what's written on the back of blue boys shirt no because i'm just on this quiz so i haven't been googling him particularly i'm looking at some images of blue boy and i love it like so just to really let like to really sort of drive the point home that he's counter culture and this is as by the way he's sticking his head literally in the sand or the dirt like some kind of ostrich or something the back of his shirt in the dirt he's sticking he's sticking his guillot out for the back of his shirt says live and let live down with fuzz hey who did it it was the guy that had the shirt that said down with the police

wait the one whose face is painted yeah even though it's not game day yeah that's your skippity this is interesting number 13 what did the police call this in the episode the big high and there's a close-up the big photo of a and this takes me back if i were the type of person who would have done uh drugs in college boy does this take me back this would take me back it is a baggie filled with just plain old shake just like brown frown looking marijuana shake um now so what do what do the police call this bag of marijuana a lid a plate or a brick and i want to make clear to you here luke this is not a bit this is not a brick of marijuana as you'd picture it it's a bag of loose marijuana shake a lid a plate or a brick and you got a picture got a picture jack

jack webb saying it in that rat-a-tat way i'm trying to think now because i i think what's what's kind of interesting about these is that what i'm learning is that they're generally just a shortened version of a larger word like cap is capsule okay because you're you're you don't have time to like you're jack webb you're you're pulling you're pulling hippies away from the trees that they're chewing the bark off of like you don't have time to say full words so i'm trying to think of what lid could be short for yeah because this is like a baggie it's right and doesn't and plate like plate seems weird to me it probably means it is played can i jump in here

and say only because i haven't taken this quiz it could be it could be funny to the producers of this me tv.com article that the cops call this a brick when clearly it's not a brick right right That could be it. It could be ironic.

Yeah, I think, actually, I like your logic. Let's do that. Let's go in together on brick, because I don't have a stronger case to be made for lid or plate. Just to be clear, you want to go in together on a brick?

Yes, I do, but only if it's a bag of shake. Let's see. Oh, shit. We were wrong. Do you want to take an—I led you to that, and I feel terrible, but I've got to give us the bell, because it's the only sound effect I have. So do you want to—knowing that it's not a brick, it's a lid or a plate, do you want to take another stab at it? Although there's no explanation on this site.

unfortunately i'm i'm gonna just say lid i don't know why maybe it's like an eyelid closer if you

smoke all that your lids are gonna get real heavy well you'll be able to tell whether or not you got it right or wrong when i do this okay good it is indeed a lid you actually did it right so

congratulations on that yeah i wish we had a little more explanation but oh this is good okay

This timed out perfectly because this is the final question, and it's super complicated to do on a podcast. I love that we got here. Final question. This is for all the marbles. This is for all the lids. Which of the following is not a slang term used by Sergeant Friday for LSD in the episode The LSD Story? Isn't that where they say being in love means never having to use LSD?

I believe so.

That wasn't the best joke I've ever made. um let's see here so which of these slaying terms is not one that he uses and there's a whole bunch here okay for lsd you ready yeah the ticket the ghost the comet the chief the beast the hawk 25 i don't think i think the beast is made up you come in here into my police department you're on The ticket, the ghost, the comet, the chief, the beast, the hawk, 25. You're going with the beast, Luke? You bought the ticket, and the chief is going to take you to la-la land, my friend. If the beast doesn't tear you apart. Okay, you think the beast is the one that is not used. I don't know.

I mean, I can see all of them being real, and I can see all of them being made up. It's just first thought, best thought. I'm going with the beast.

I know what you want to do. You want to take a comet to the sky. Ride that beast.

See, that sounds reasonable.

I mean, that sounds like a thing they would say. Okay. Okay, yeah. Let me take a stab at this as well. So you're saying the beast. I'm going to say, well, the hawk would make you fly. 25 is so weird that I feel like.

My problem is when I hear the hawk, all I can think of is one time Toronto Blue Jay great Andre Dawson, the hawk. It just occurred to me what Hawk Squad is truly all about.

And I'm horrified that your niece is on that druggie chain. Okay. I'm going to go 25. Only because it doesn't fit. But I'm going to click on yours. The Beast, incorrect. We're both wrong. The one that is made up, Luke, is the Comet.

The Comet is made up.

Which, again, then I would like to take that. I would like to use that if it's not already being used by Dragnet.

I'd also like to correct the record, Andrew. I've been taking a lot of the Hawk, so my brain is a little scrambled. Andre Dawson was, of course, a Chicago Cub. He was a Montreal Expo. He was a Boston Red Sox He was a Florida Marlin He was never a Toronto Blue Jay I think I got the Montreal thing Obviously Luke Everybody knows that Had me thinking Canada Yeah Well We've got some people We've got some people up there We've got some Expos fans Who would feel slighted by me By me talking about him In the context of being a Toronto Blue Jay Hey that was really fun actually I feel like today's I feel like between Between me getting to burn you With some Jared Leto music And also that Dragnet quiz I think those are pretty good shows are pretty strong and pretty good yeah I'm glad the quiz got

better because again I opened up that quiz today and I was like this seemed like a good idea in the moment when I was on the hawk uh when I suggested yesterday but then I was like this quiz is way too easy but yeah at the end uh there were some toughies in there so that was fun um do you want to do some music for your weekend sure do where would you like to start us yeah I spent so much time today uh behind my computer listening to I've just been feeling nostalgic as I often am but especially when the seasons change and I was like I didn't have any idea what I was going to play for you I was listening to old like red house painters and whoa moon stuff yeah I was this is a welfare check I was listening to Gillian Welsh I was like I wanted something but then it occurred to me that I should play something that came into my life last night and I have not heard the album version of this yet I remembered this during the show I was going to tell you I felt bad about my performance on yesterday's show but i especially felt bad about it because i felt prepared for yesterday's show right right i know that feeling i don't think you did a bad job i appreciate that feeling but i was just like why was i so foggy and so i was going to tell you at the top of the show today that i decided to fix it by staying up really late last night and drinking a bunch of ipas after having dinner with some friends and so i was like well at least if i'm going to be foggy god damn it i'm going to have fun the night before um and so i i i came home from dinner i was playing some darts i was supposed to be working on the newsletter but i didn't instead i started playing some darts and then genevieve went upstairs i'm like i'll just turn on the tv while i fold these clothes and you know i'm always in a mood for something kind of weird and nostalgic when i do that so i put the tv recommends to me that i might like a movie called that thing you do that was written and directed by one thomas hanks are you familiar

with this movie uh yes very familiar really that movie do you i love the movie and i love the song that thing you do so much and what i think is i don't hope i'm not stepping on anything here but what i find incredible about that song is that you're not sick of it by the end of the movie Because it's. the whole premise and it's going to be played a million times to illustrate the rise of this band and um and tom credit tom uh hanks is also credited as one of the writers of the song that thing you do which is like that's an even so he he he was one of the uh did he direct it too

he wrote it directed it he's in it i have not finished the movie i watched about half of it last night but i was thinking like i i liked this movie more than i thought it was than i thought i was going to is made in the mid to late some 90s on work yes yes who has a um he was reminding me of another actor so much but now i'm blanking i had to keep on looking up i was like that's steve zahn because he was reminding me of somebody else but he was giving yes and i'm trying to think who it was giving there's two actors who have very similar names that people confuse with it's not the um well it doesn't matter uh anyway yeah so i was i was caught off guard by this movie i thought it was going to be i mean it is a little bit schlocky but like i thought it was going to be really schlocky and and not well made but i was like this is fine i'll just put this on for a little bit but i got really sucked into it and i really did like zon i liked a lot of the performances um um uh geez why am i doing this live uh tyler tyler is in it um there's and just like some really good little performances for it's kind of silly little movie totally no

I think it's I think I saw it in a theater and I I will absolutely stand behind that film also it's kind of interesting because the the guy who's sort of I guess the the the protagonist is the drummer is and the actors name in real life is Tom something and he's interesting to me because there was a moment where I felt like Hollywood was kind of trying to make this guy a thing and I don't think he's bad at all I think he's a good actor but he was like I like either right before right after that thing you do he kind of starred in like an american werewolf in paris 2 and it just like it was like he he had that moment where you could tell he had some heat and they were putting him in kind of like you know as the as the the main star of a number of films and then he just kind of went away i mean i my guess would be that he's you know doing something lucrative and and kind of fun for him on one of those ncis type of programs i feel like you don't see that guy who's who's kind of sort of i you i forget that that thing you do is this guy who's the drummer is

kind of the star of the movie and it's interesting that you say that because clearly in the movie they are trying to make him like that's what tom hanks his character is trying to do as like an agent or a manager he's like putting sunglasses on him and he's trying to make exactly thing i did i had i had no idea who that kid was kind of the star of the movie but for me it reminded me of like tom hanks casting a younger tom hanks hanks style person like when woody allen would sometimes you know put other actors in but you clearly saw that these actors were playing the quote-unquote woody allen role i i sort of i didn't even know if hanks was going to be in it because i was like oh hanks wrote and directed this but he put in like a young tom hanks to be the star everett scott that's his name of that character and do you see what oh the character or the actor uh no the actor i'm sorry so do you what else was he in anything that

i would possibly know i'm scrolling back um did you see the healing powers of dude in 2020 yeah Well, it's on my list. Okay, so he's in One Thing that you know about. Sure, yeah, okay. He's been in, he was in Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He was in La La Land.

Oh, okay, I didn't see that. Very well-decorated movie.

He's done some criminal minds work. Not as decorated as it thought it was. That's a solid joke, Walsh.

Don't sound so surprised, Burbank.

That was really good. So he's, I mean, he's been, It would appear that he's been a very, very busy working actor in lots of different things over the years, but maybe not as kind of the, like I said, that the person that they've sort of hung the whole film around in the way that they were kind of doing for a while.

Well, anyway, I was unfamiliar with this film. I will probably finish watching it tonight after hours, I'm hoping. And you guessed it. I'm going to play that song, Cruiser by the Red House Painters. I do love that song. I will play that.

I do love that this conversation started with like Sun, Kill Moon and Red House Painters and all this just like unbelievably emotionally wrecked music. And then where we've landed is That Thing You Do, which again, I haven't even heard this version.

I was as we were doing the show, I was like, wait, why am I going to play the Red House Painters? Why don't I play this official soundtrack version of That Thing You Do by, credited to, the band, The Wonders. You, doing that thing you do, breaking my heart into a million pieces. Like you always do And you don't mean to be cruel You never even knew about the heartache I've been going through Well, I try and try to forget you, girl But it's just so hard to do Every time you do that thing you do

It's too fast. Slow it down. Slow it down.

God, it's so good. It's a big part of the movie. I had one other memory, by the way, around this particular song, which is I think the primary songwriter on it was the guy Adam Schlesinger from Fountains of Wayne.

I was about to say, hearing the recorded version of this, it sounds less like a 60s song and more like a 90s band doing a 60s song. You can really hear like the laws or something in this.

Totally. And, of course, Adam Schlesinger passed away quite suddenly some years ago, much to the sadness of a lot of his fans and people. So we got to give him his due here. I think he was kind of the, you know, you see Tom Hanks' name as one of the co-writers of the song. But you don't, I mean, I'm guessing Adam Schlesinger did the heavy lifting. The guy who was full time in a band that was also pretty popular.

I'm trying to think who else this sounds like, sort of that poppy, not lemon heads, but just sounds like poppy alternative 90s music when I hear it in this form, not in the movie. But anyway, there it is.

It has the perfect, I don't have the words for it because I'm not a musician, but it's not even really key changes. It has the perfect number of sort of like declinations and inclinations. like when it goes up it goes up right where it needs to go up and it goes down right where it does to kind of keep your ear and keep you listening like it's i think there's a pretty strong argument that it might almost be the platonic ideal of a pop song it's like pure

sugar it reminds me of something the archies would do like the the fake band the archies not the the real band right it reminds me of a sugar cube or a cap or the chief or a hawk or the comet

sadly not a comet but not a comet it turns out uh i'm going to take things in a uh fairly different direction uh which is that toro y moi has a newer record out called sand hills and i'm a big toro y moi head and this record is really to me it sounds really different than a lot of kind of you know toro y moi and washed out and all of these kind of um i don't know dream pop kind of bands or bands that do a lot of you know i guess you could kind of throw tame impala on the list they're kind of like vibey bands that play these songs that have a lot of music in them and are maybe not always the lyrics aren't the most forward part of the production and stuff which i'm a total sucker for a lot of that stuff but um of course addy when she's not perfecting her one woman show 30 year old with cat by the way she's not 30 yet she's totally though doing the that you and I do, Andrew, in the words of the wonders. Rounding up, yeah. It's like father, like daughter, rounding on up. But anyway, she sent me this. She was like, you should really check this out. And what I didn't realize was the guy who is Toro y Moi, he grew up in South Carolina, which I don't know why that's interesting to me, but it's just like, I'd seen him play the old crocodile and just like, I don't know, the music was so cool. The aesthetic was so dialed in of the whole thing that this album, which just is at least this song and I'm going to play Sidelines, is just a lot more like it sounds like somebody who grew up in South Carolina who was forced to be on the football team and did it, but wasn't really vibing with it. I feel like this is kind of a song for you, Andrew, written by the guy by Toro Imoa. Can we hear Sidelines off of the new Toro Imoa album, Sandhills?

I was on the field on a Friday night Third string had to swallow my pride I got thrown in on a fourth and five Just so they could take a knee Oh, I was only thinking about my sixth string I remember coach trying to break us down Two days had us passing now

This week we gotta play away Home team just came from state Lost by six, that's the worst way Damn Bus ride back had a sour taste Had a revelation about where I wanna be I was drained of patience and my energy Just to find out I played the wrong game I was thinking about my sixth string

So there you go. The new Torah. That sounds almost more like it's from, what was the, oh boy. Was his name Jason Molina, the Magnolia Electric Company guy? I don't know. Sounds Ohio. You know that song that I was so obsessed with? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was covered by, I think it was covered by, what's, oh, Phooey, Katie Crutchfield of Waxahatchee and Kevin Morby.

Yes, yes. I love that cover.

This feels like this would have been something you and Pauly were drinking beers and crying to circa 1997. You know, it's funny. And I say that with all compliments.

No, I mean, I love this sound. It's a little bit more countrified, I feel like, than the things that we would have listened to back then. But, like, I love this. And that Toro y Moi is innate. I feel like years ago I had one MP3 jangling around, although I could be wrong about that. But it feels like I should know this musician better than I do. And I must just only know it from you playing it on the show. But I am very much into it.

Well, it's funny because this is, I mean, maybe there's some deeper cuts off of his other albums that are more like this. But this almost sounds like literally a different musician to me. because the other ones are very like kind of uh produced and synthesizer-y and like kind of putting you in a mood and they have names like causers of this off of like or like talamac like they're like it's it's almost like just a vibe the whole music is a vibe and this is just very literally a story of a kid who had to play football and didn't really want to be doing it like that's super followable as so it's it's interesting that he's doing this totally different style as far as i've heard and i'm liking it as much as i like the other stuff he's done i want to try something

here that makes absolutely no sense i'm just sort of closing some tabs and i came across are you on the are you on the beast again i am and so i'm going to try something here it's going to be hard for you to mix this on the same pot but let's try this have you been smoking marijuana

marijuana is illegal i know that that's right for now in a couple of years things may change when all the kids grow up and start wearing ties and going to the polls marijuana is going to be like liquor packaged and taxed and sold right off the shelf i doubt it mr shipley look i don't mean to be disrespectful but it seems to me there must be better things for cops to do than chase down wild rumors about something as innocent as marijuana anyway that's the best i can do mixing

that uh at the same time i'm feeling emotional you know what a sucker i am for spoken word over jambly guitar music i don't know i thought that would work no it wasn't bad it wasn't bad I'm telling you, I think it might have been, is this how we ended last week's programming of me just talking about how, I think because I was playing that Youth Lagoon song where the kid's talking, and then that just took us down. That was one of those shows where, I think you mentioned this, the listener's like, they're at music for your weekend, but 40 more minutes, what the hell happened here?

Somebody posted that on Slack, is there a word for when you look down, 30 more minutes?

Anyway, I really, really dig that song. I will be, I mean, that's a good definition of music for your weekend, because I will be listening to that. So that's like a five-song EP, huh? Yeah, yeah. Okay, great.

And I've listened to it kind of, I've listened to that song the most, I've listened to the other ones, and I really like it. But it's one of those weird things where it's like, if you love that, I don't know if you'll love everything else that he's done, but I'm pretty down for it. Love it. Our listener suggestion this week comes from Kirsten in San Francisco. Hi, guys. I've been going through some tough times here, but I'm powering through, and this vibe is matching my energy. Plus, it's just a great new song, and I think you like Lala, too. I do like Lala. You likely introduced me to them slash her. Hit Me Where It Hurts is the song that we will hear from Lala. Lala, Lala, right? Lala, Lala, yes, thank you. Suggested by listener Kirsten in San Francisco. Kirsten, I hope that you're doing okay. Sorry you've been having a tough time. So, yeah, I'm excited to hear this song and excited to tell you that that's the end of our broadcast week, but we're going to be right back here on Monday with more Imaginary Radio. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Don't make me away Don't make me away

Or something even worse

It's never allowed I'm just waiting on home I've already slipped The longing is it I know nothing is mine I'm just biding my time Turn off the light I'd rather flee

Power out.