Muse

A group of acquaintances of mine invited me to go clubbing with them this weekend and I said no I don't particularly like clubbing I instead like to spend my weekends inside playing video games and one of them said oh you're not like other girls like yeah I'm not like other girls I got low blood pressure and low blood sugar all right I got hit with two god chuckles right there if I go clubbing I don't come back it's much like Jaws

T-B-T-L Guess what day it is Guess what day it is

It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend

Well I've read everything on your syllabus And how do I put this delicately It's all stupid garbage

First of all, a podcast takes a lot of work Okay? Today you have to organize the guests, you have to do a Google Calendar, and you build a following. It takes a long time, and I've been working on it for a while.

If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times, I love you. With him out of the way, I think we're just going to be 360 spins and slam dunk pointers.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. A beautifully wrapped, glossy, sweet-smelling show. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Two bros, bro hit it up!

Coming to you once again from the comfortable confines of Walsh Walsh and Doormat. Right here in Seattle, Washington, where it is a Friday, at least as you're hearing this program. The earliest you could be hearing this program is on a Friday. It's episode 4078 in a collector's series, which we're so excited to be bringing you. Let the fun begin. And we want to talk a little bit about technology today. Of course, this is one of the leading tech shows. Do they have tech podcasts? Is that a thing that anyone's thought of doing? And are we the leading one? I think so.

Beepers, and Zenith televisions, and Walkmans, and Discmans, and Flappy Disks, and Nintendo Power Glove.

Those are only some of the high-tech gadgets that we've covered and reviewed lately here on TBTL. And we'll talk about another one today, the AI pin from the company Humane. A couple of former Apple employees struck out on their own and are launching this pin that you wear that is supposed to eventually replace your telephone. And it's easy to make fun of it, which is why we're going to do it. No, there might actually, I don't know, maybe be something to this. We'll talk about it. And then, of course, as one of the most successful tech podcasts in America, we get a lot of mail. People are nice enough to send us little parcels and posts and letters and even gifts sometimes Another day, another victory for the OG And we're going to open some of those pieces of mail in a segment we call What's in the Box Because I'm here at Andrew's house and this is not an everyday occasion It's been a yesterday occasion and a today occasion But I've got to leave before the weekend starts Because when this guy gets going on his weekend, he gets on one Here's my sweet stash, let's freaking party He's Andrew Walsh, and you're joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Hey, Luke, you're right. As America's number one tech podcast, people send us stuff through the mail.

How else would we get the information, Andrew? How else would people send us letters electronically?

Pony, I assume, Pony Express, or the USPS. All right, listen, I don't want to get us off track too early on here, because there are so many things I want to talk to you about, some of which I even set up in yesterday's show. I don't know if we'll get to it or not, because I need to start with something that you don't know I want to talk about.

I also have something you don't know I want to talk about.

But I know that you have something that I don't know you know you want to talk about. Ibogaine powder. Yes. No, this is a very personal. You can have that bell if you want, if it's too far away. Thanks. This is a very personal question. But right before we started recording this episode, you had to use the restroom really briefly. So you went into my private bathroom here in the basement and you came out. I have a question for you about something that happened in there while you were in there. Did you? I would find this incredibly hard to believe. But it's a sincere question. Did you happen to use my cologne? What? I came into this.

That's not what I thought.

I came into this room and you smell like the cologne that I use and I that's why I ran out Please don't step on the shocked crowd. Sorry. So do you want to do that again? That was I'm sorry. Thank you

You don't become America's number one tech podcast stepping on the shocked crowd sound effect.

This is my cologne. I always describe it to you as, you know, that brand that has a U that looks like a V, and you say, oh, Bulgari? Is that how you say it? Oh, sure. This is the cologne. Genevieve buys it for me every now and then. I've been using that for a long time.

Also looks like you could win an air hockey tournament. Or just a hockey tournament.

and it looks like a hockey puck, right? It's about the size of a hockey puck. But no, the reason I brought it in here is take off that top and give it a little sniff. Does that smell like whatever scent you're wearing? Also, do you want me to take off the top of the cologne? Yes, exactly. We can't be together in this basement

without topless jokes happening, apparently.

But does that smell like something that you're wearing, a scent that you're wearing?

No, I am wearing. I don't even have it on right now, but I think residually, it's probably in my aura, if you will, which is I wear a scent called Homme by YSL, by Yves Saint Laurent. And I usually, hmm, things that make you go home.

Tell me you grew up in the 90s.

That is, without telling me you grew up in the 90s, that's the show title, Things That Make You Go Home.

How do you spell this, Homme, scent?

I think it's like H-O-M-M-E. Okay. Yeah, I think there's an E at the end of it. and it's really I did not use your cologne I mean that would be a weird move it would be surprising

first you'd have to go into my private medicine cabinet and take it out

what's funny is most days I am wearing a bit of the cologne that I wear YSL Hom but today I am not because now everyone's hearing this on a friday but we're actually doubling up our recording so as you and i are sitting here uh this is this is me having fairly recently arrived at your house and i uh again as this is being recorded we'll be actually doing live wire later the good news is i won't be promoting it because by the time someone hears this it's too late but my point in this andrew is my cologne is packed up with my stuff so i didn't put any cologne on this morning also i thought we're going to be in this small room together some people are sensitive um and so i thought i am not going to put it on so of all of the days because what i would have naturally thought was you were just smelling my cologne on me and it just is maybe similar to yours and that's where the confusion but and also i washed this shirt this morning in fact everything i'm well you know what these pants andrew smell my pants no get over here no smell my pants i won't it's the only my dad the only thing it could be we're going right past that the only thing it could be would be if somehow a bit of cologne that i had applied had landed on because these pants are the only thing that i'm wearing right now that were not fresh out of the wash i washed this this shirt from patagonia that i'm wearing the outer shirt i washed the t-shirt that i'm wearing underneath but i'm trying to figure out where what what how i could be radiating the smell of cologne to you

But also, not only that, and again, not to sound weird or awkward, but I do, I think I know the smell of the scent that you wear, because you've been wearing it probably since I've known you or around that time, and I've had that cologne. I don't wear cologne probably around you very much. Usually, if I'm going out for the evening or something, I'll spritz that a little bit. I'd be surprised if you associated the smell of that cologne with me. Cabbage. It's kind of, yeah. Are you wearing cabbage again? It's like notes of cabbage and with a little bit of compost.

Is that a TB Cellathon thank you gift? Our private reserve cologne notes of cabbage.

Oh, my God. John, can we get a T-shirt that just says notes of cabbage? No, don't do that. Don't put any work into that. I think that died on delivery. So, yeah, but you're saying that your scent doesn't even smell like that. So I don't know what I smelled as I came in this room, but I kind of got a big whiff of something, and it smelled like my cologne. And I don't think I put on any of that cologne yesterday when I went out.

So I don't know. I don't know what I smelled. Maybe I. But you know, it's funny when you asked me about when you said this is personal and it involves the bathroom. I started furiously drawing these arrows to the note that I had made for myself, which I said, remember, you said to me, it's impossible to read my handwriting. I don't expect you to. But I just wanted to confirm for you that when I said there was something that I wanted to talk about that you didn't know that I wanted to talk about. It also involved your bathroom and the time when I recently visited your bathroom. Yeah.

Oh, because I should also mention you did a real paint job in there, too.

And may or may not have taken a sample of the cologne. Here's what happened. I walked in there. I left the door open. I began urinating. It was number one. I was standing and then I realized, oh, my gosh, I have the door open and I'm peeing. Now, you're this is a man who's lived alone for a bit. Yes. And also, you're pretty far away. You're in this room. You know, it would be it's unlikely to me that you would come over in that area if you knew that I was using the restroom. But I just I wondered, do we have a peeing with the door open kind of relationship? Not a sitting down, not a number two. I don't think anyone should have that relationship, probably. But do we have, we're just two bros bro-ing it up.

I feel like you've done this. Two bros bro-ing it up. I feel like you've done that around me before. At your house? I think maybe at my old apartment. The bathroom was a little bit closer to the studio, and I feel like sometimes we would be talking about something, and you'd get up and pee, and we could still continue the conversation. And it doesn't bother me. Even though I am uptight about a lot of stuff, that does not bother me so much. Because, I mean, come on. I mean, we're pretty used to using. urinals and things like that us but also just people in general using public restrooms of some sort or another it is interesting to see how people are managing the spaces at least here in washington and seattle where there's more um uh like all gender restrooms like i was at an event not all too long ago that was uh on the university campus and um it was well i'll just say what the event was to sort of finally met jerry brewer that's exactly it we were at the at the little ceremony that was celebrating Phyllis Fletcher and the other people who were being inducted into this Hall of Fame. Hey, now you're an all-star. That's right, the Hall of Fame for the broadcast school, or for the, I'm sorry, the communication school. So anyway, you know, it's like it's not like a, it's not a black tie event but, you know, it's kind of a nicer event. People are dressed up for the moment. We're celebrating the successes of people in our life and the restroom situation there was like, you know, a big restroom with a big area with maybe at least five sinks, if not more that everybody could use together and this wasn't one of those restrooms that was sort of retrofitted to be this way i mean i think a lot of people have been in this sort of scenario before i've been in this scenario at like okay that um ace not ace hotel but the virgin hotel that we went to in chicago in the performance space sort of had that too where the stalls are very private

with doors that go all the way up and down it's all gender bathroom uh the overall room but then

your stall is like a private little thing yeah and and the nice thing is if you're somebody who likes a private stall whether whether the bathroom is all gender or not like yeah that that's a real bonus for this like you have a very send it right to the floor baby send it all the way down to the floor but it is interesting that like so i came into this restroom and there's this big open kind of public area where again there's a bunch of sinks i'm gonna say a little bit more than five and maybe like i don't think individual mirrors but maybe one big mirror and it sort of was like a social setting where people were washing their hands and I even ran into Phyllis there while she was washing her hands or something as I came in and it is kind of a I didn't dislike the experience but it is a different kind of experience where you're kind of like we think about things that we do in the restroom and some of them are private and then some of them are a little bit private in a way that we don't think about and then maybe we're just conditioned to do like if I'm coming out of a of a restroom and it happens to be like a traditional men's room right I might stand in front of the um mirror and fix myself in ways that are maybe crude sure in front of like that I wouldn't do out in the in the buffet line yeah you know what I mean yeah but if there's mixed company in there I might first of all I think one really good benefit of it is this wouldn't apply probably to this particular crowd but I think that the people who don't wash their hands sometimes leaving the restroom I think there's going to be more social pressure for whatever reason and also like but then you do have to kind of say are there things that I do you sort of start to look at your own activity in this more public area by the sink in a different light than you would maybe if it was just like the men's room at O'Hare or whatever you picture as being sort of like the biggest fart locker in the world

I believe it was the probably at O'Hare but also one time for me memorably the the men's bathroom at the airport in pittsburgh um and i think maybe there was maybe prpd was in pittsburgh one year or something i was in pittsburgh and i just i i was using the men's bathroom and i wanted to just throw a business card under every stall that said see a doctor i thought you said that about o'hare are you sure it could have been i might have said about i think i may have also said it about the men's bathroom at the international pizza exposition in vegas what it turns out is you get a bunch of dudes together in a bathroom environment and it can get a little it can get a little um you know questionable i guess but you're right this idea of boisterous this idea of of there's nothing inherently you could say there's nothing that needs to be gendered about where we wash our hands after we've used the restroom or where we look in the mirror and adjust our our whatever but it is because of or at least I would say it is for myself because I'm 47 and for about 40 40 years of my life probably more 43 years of my life there's that like buffer you're going from the very private moment of being either at the urinal or in the stall to the semi-private moment of standing at the sink but still around other dudes yeah whatever that means these days and then finally you leave that and now you're back in what you consider to be public. It's like the public nature of it comes up a little quicker now.

Yeah, and it's interesting to see how it's sort of changing how in some corners of culture, I would say maybe, and maybe here in Seattle specifically where people tend to be progressive, but like people's attitudes towards restrooms. I was at the new arena for the- Climate Pledge. Yeah, Climate Pledge Arena. God, I hate saying that, but although in this case, I literally couldn't think of a name. I wasn't just trying to be coy there. But they have hockey games there But also it's a music venue So we were there seeing a concert recently And after the show As you would guess There were pretty long lines for the restroom And I think usually if you have gendered restrooms Usually the women get the short end of the stick there Because the lines tend to be longer and everything And there was some young woman Who just like came in and used the men's restroom And was basically like Listen there's a bunch of stalls She did walk past a whole long line of people Who were peeing in urinals But their back was to her Like, I didn't hear anybody really care that much. And frankly, I didn't even really care either. She went back and used a stall. I think I was kind of leaving. But there was a moment in this other situation. So shit like that doesn't bother me. Also, it's kind of like a rock show. Like, it seems to get weird to get hung up on things like that.

But was it the same person who asked you to sit down?

No, I don't think so. That would have been the height of irony. But anyway, so sorry, I'm sort of glossing past that example quickly. But to go back to the one where I'm talking about at a more formal event where I went in and i see like my friends and colleagues kind of chatting or colleagues with each other sort of chatting at sinks after or before using the restroom i kind of realized like oh well if this was a men's room i would have no compunction at all about farting while i'm washing my hands oh see because i would you would i yeah yeah and it's weird because you know me like i especially do not go for like yeah well you know kind of the gender either stereotypes or right boys do this and girls do that kind of shit.

And also, you're just a very non-gross person. Yeah, that's true too, yeah. I've been literally all over the world with you, and you're just like not, like you're not farting and burping and being like, stepped on a duck.

In fact, like we've even talked, people who listen to the show think I'm a little bit strange because I don't even do that around Genevieve, you know? I will suppress it around Genevieve.

I support that.

But in a men's room- I support suppressing all of our true selves around our partners. But in a men's room washing my hands, I would let one rip. I wouldn't really think much about it, but I'm not going to do that next to Phyllis.

No, and I think you're, I think Phyllis will agree. Phyllis wouldn't mind either. That was a good, well, I mean, if you went hard enough and it turned into a colonoscopy, she would support it. There's nobody more interested in our digestive health than Phyllis P. Suchfutcher. But it's funny because, you know, I, even in the men's room, what I would try to do if I was like, say, standing at the urinal, and it's very common, you know, for those that haven't spent time in a guy's bathroom. it's pretty common when the guys are standing at the urinal it's a known thing that people will also be you know passing gas it's just kind of part of the deal you're in a bathroom where else are you supposed to do it like it's the most socially appropriate place to do it but even so i if i have my druthers i'm not just like absolutely shredding shredding my pants so what i will do sometimes like you would in private if i feel right exactly if i feel like there if i feel like there's a chance that i'm that's i'm gonna need to do that while i'm standing the urinal ideally i will flush the urinal and it will be one that has a big whoosh yeah so i'll kind of like i'm peeing and then i'm flushing and it's like whoosh and it kind of just maybe it's like an airplane toilet that's not the best whoosh god i mean is there a better whoosh no but don't be sitting on that you'll find yourself in some kind of chuck pollinick novel you didn't ask to be in now andrew i will say this i had um this is probably not that fascinating but um i did go to a movie recently so i need to get the points you know i need to get credit for that because it's so rare that i can actually focus up on something for two hours but i saw the holdovers which i've been talking about a bunch one of the things that was interesting though was afterwards there was a much longer line for the men's restroom than for the women's restroom which i wonder if that's the kind of person that paul giamatti appeals to it takes longer it takes more i just mean there was more men than women at the movie or something i see because there's a There was a men's bathroom and a woman's bathroom, and there was no line for the women's bathroom. And there was a lot of guys who could have used a win that were waiting in line.

Yeah, I was going to say, did you hear anybody grumbling from behind a stall door saying, I'm going to really use a win here? I did. not but i'm sure one of our listeners steven can probably ai that up for us uh two shakes of a lamb's tail but i um so the line was pretty long and everyone was kind of i had also like so the line there was a long line of people and this is a kind of a um what do you call it like an independent theater it's called cinema 21 in portland and um and so it's like you know exactly the kind of movie it's the exact kind of movie theater we love it's the same place that i told you once i got like two red wines a thing of popcorn a thing of milk duds and it was like

oh yeah eighteen dollars or something independent theater that's yeah and it was great i love this

place but but because it's independent theater they have a pretty small bathroom it had two urinals and a stall and there was just a lot of giamatti heads waiting oh by the way the movie's like two and a half hours so it's this perfect intersection of like paul giamatti fans of a certain age with a certain amount of prostate growth impinging on their bladder who also just watched a two hour and 35 minute movie it's the perfect storm yeah and this was when i was still um fasting so as we've established i did i drank a diet coke and i did let's be honest i had a little bit of popcorn but i was not and i had two hot dogs and just a hot dog bowl a little bit of a pizza just a bowl for what chopped up hot dog so uh the point is this was in a mode where i was uh, peeing a lot. My body was still releasing a fair amount of water. And when I finally got to the stall, I start peeing and it is going on forever. This is not shy bladder. This is not like I can't get started. This is like, I can't get stopped. I can't get stopped. And I am not exaggerating. At least two people have come and gone from the one urinal that's still open next to me. And I'm looking at this line of guys that are all looking at me expectantly. There was somebody that was using the stall and had the door closed. And about every, I don't know, 10 seconds, some guy would come over and put his head under the stall to see, because you couldn't see if there were feet.

Looking for feet.

Because this was just people being like, we all have to go. We all just sat through the holdovers. And I'm just like, I wanted to say to the room, this isn't shy bladder. This is an aggressive bladder. This bladder is an extrovert right now, and I am sorry. And you know what I did? I've never done this before. I cut the thing short. I was like whoa that's not healthy I don't think it was but I couldn't take the pressure anymore I felt like I was delaying every I mean Andrew I know it sounds I think this went on for upwards of three minutes it felt like anyway but you're in a stall no I meant a urinal two urinals

and a stall I see people are looking at the other people are walking behind me because I didn't say if you're in a stall there's going to be an audible

but also an audible indication that you well you know what else I was doing Andrew unnecessarily peeing into the part of the urinal where there was water so that people could so people could hear that something was going on that you weren't just hanging out by the way no shame to people that have shy bladder I interviewed the writer Adam Gopnik about his shy bladder which he writes about in his most recent book and it's actually he he talks about how for him when it's been at its worst it's very life-affected I believe that far as international flights as far as like he'd be invited to conferences and because his his striped ladder it wouldn't be that at some point he would it would be uncomfortable and he'd have to just get over it he would it'd be in misery if he was flying to across he got invited to a conference somewhere like in like either india or southeast asia somewhere he literally said i can't go because to be on that airplane would have meant he was not going to be able to urinate for that amount of time so i don't want to be like dismissive of that but i was just sitting there like i i don't know when this is going to be done i uh you know my body is shedding a lot of water i drank a huge diet coke i just sat through the holdovers and so eventually like i would say it was probably two-thirds what i knew was i had i had released some of the pressure i released a significant amount of the pressure and i just i just closed the valve i can't believe you did that because first of all i have a lot of control

down there not to brag i'm not gonna say first of all i'm gonna say only of all because that's all i have right now is one thing that's fun um the people who are coming and going don't realize

how long you've been there well they've been in line they've been watching oh i guess the people in that's what i can't overstate this was a whole yeah thing happening in this tiny bathroom there is there's two urinals i'm at one of them at the one that's closest to the stall i never saw that guy might still be in the stall he was there when we got there he did not leave like who knows what was going on with that then you have me then you have he's putting up posters you have the person next to me and those people are rotating on a pretty regular basis i'm going through like two to three people who've cycled to the and then you look past them and there's a line of about four guys who are the ones that have gotten into the bathroom outside of the bathroom there's still a couple more guys i had beaten i had told becca i was like i actually

really considered going uh to use the bathroom i what what it turned out was probably a point where there were still 40 minutes of the movie left uh the movie had a couple of places that i thought were the end of the movie i love that film i already said i love that film i think the i think it's great and i love that it was as long as it was and i love that it you know sometimes a movie when you feel like there's a natural ending you're like we could have just ended it there it was worth the the extra time but basically what happened was i kept thinking we're at the end of this movie and what i also realized is that i am very used to now when i watch televised products or when i watch a film i hit pause and i know how much time is left on it i

couldn't hit pause on this movie yeah and you couldn't see i guess i could have looked up the

runtime and tried to back time it but basically i'm just at this point of anything i'm watching most of the time I just hit pause and I go oh there's eight minutes left I'll just watch it or I'll go to the bathroom and come back I realize I'm not I wasn't able to figure out how much time was left in this movie

you know I've gotten kind of used to that like even going to see like maybe even the Marvel movie or something like I know that I'm going in there with a giant soda I'm a man of a certain age

so you're pricing in a bathroom trip

these days I think it's more likely than not that at some point during the movie I'm going to make the decision you know what I've been trying to power through this but i am so miserable right now that i will just try to choose a part of the movie where i feel like okay i can see what's happening right it's a little bit easier with like a a blockbuster action movie because i don't give a shit about action really so i can just like go then or something with a movie like you know what's the paul giamatti movie the holdovers the holdovers or something like that it's going to be a little bit more difficult because you get the impression there's going to be more nuance that was my problem what to miss do you remember that Website though and I'll bet you it's still going And I should look into it There was a pee break website that would say if you're going to See this movie these are the Most opportune times to go Pee during the movie I think that's Really brilliant

Movie pee break Website I am really hoping This is still operating Run pee I guess it's an app can I just please Go to the website it makes more sense It does make way more sense but I would like to just see on the old okay let's see all right top posts because what i'm very curious about is if oh shoot i i wonder i think that they might be if you don't have the app i think it's just become some kind of cinema uh promotional thing yeah i had a feeling whoever was doing that it

seemed like a good moment but like it was in 2012 or something because i would be really what i would

love what i think is actually a fun thing is to see if they picked the best time to run and pee

during the holdovers having seen it um and it's an art form of giving people this information

about a movie without ruining the movie for them as well but but yes if this had been a marvel movie i wouldn't have worried about it at all if this would have been rango 2 just you know use some of your basic stuff i kept thinking i was about to miss the emotional kind of the sort of emotional heart of the film and by the way when i saw it i was glad that i hadn't really gotten up to that moment like you know there i mean it was a number of moments but the but the what i you know what was essentially the end of the film was i was really glad that i that i held on but i will tell you i was shot out of a cannon like the second that that was like the end that's why you got there so i got there first uh well i guess the guy in the stall got there first but i was there for a while and it was a little bit well he's always been there that's what if you open the stall and it's just that photograph from the shot just a guy

alright Luke I know this is the time of the show where you and I thank the wonderful donors well it's where I usually

I'm the first person to talk and I told you to shut it maybe because you're the home team you defer it the first half and now you get to you get to receive is that what's going on here I said shut your trap

you know that's something that kids say you just can't say that as an adult without just being so outside the norms of society

you know that we were not allowed to say shut up in our house

you probably weren't either right I feel like it wasn't as bad as like fart but it was not smiled upon it's a harsh way of we couldn't say hate and we couldn't say shut up like i hate that you can't say i hate that no no i think we said that but um yes because this is my house my rules my wine i hate it when you do that shut your trap um i wanted to say something here i was remiss during yesterday's show for not mentioning this we got a note from listener katherine uh who wanted to let everybody in the twin cities area know that the minnesotans are having a get together today tonight i should say i wish i'd given you more warning on this but if you hadn't heard the news yet a bunch of tens are meeting up at bow house brew labs in northeast minneapolis does that sound familiar to you luke sure does because we uh did tbtl live from there

and i think our friend nora mcinerney yep was uh our special guest that was so much fun what a

great spot yeah exactly and at the time i believe there was a 10 who was a brewer there and i want to say his name was tony but i could be wrong about that sorry um but anyway bow house brew lab is a great little place to gather and folks are gathering there um this evening nice uh at 6 p.m. Sorry, I was looking for the time. 6 to 8 p.m. at Bauhaus Brew Lab. So if you're in that area, swing on by and say hello to some 10s. Absolutely.

By the way, we have an expansive definition of Minnesota, too. Maybe you're in, like, I don't know, Chicago, Illinois, like Jonathan Clark is.

Oh, sure.

One of our first donors I want to thank today, by the way. This is where we thank people who are donating to the program, making it possible. Thank you, Jonathan, so much. I'll tell you who's, I mean, 100% going to be at Bauhaus tonight, Tom and Patty Prody, because they're in Wabasha, Minnesota.

Oh, Tom and Patty.

I mean, Wabasha, that's the gateway to Bauhaus Brew Lab. That's my understanding of geography. Sure. I wonder if I took a call from Wabasha when I was having that one now famous on this show, fill-in time on whatever the name of that local Minnesota public radio show I was filling in. and I swear it was a call-in show and I swear to God, it was just like every call was from Shakopee and Wabasha and Bemidji and many a place that I was not particularly used to say.

I wonder if this would be a good fun on-air quiz or not and if so, you know, maybe I should even mention here you and I will be recording Winter Games at some point, I mean, probably in late December so we have some time but if listeners want to start working on some quizzes for us or just finding quizzes online and emailing them to me, andrew at tbtl.net. Do you think, this might get tedious, but I wonder if a good quiz would be Wisconsin Town or Minnesota Town. Because I feel like Wabasha, I wouldn't have known if that was Wisconsin or Minnesota. What about Baraboo? Baraboo, are you actually testing me here? I'm going to say Baraboo is Minnesota. I think it's Wisconsin. Oh, see, it is fun. I think. If you want to hear me make that sound a lot, oh, somebody make that quiz and send it to me. Or don't. It might be a bad idea for a quick one.

I don't know. We'll see. Let's let the people put the work in, and then we'll decide who we're going to use them. Thank you, Tom and Patty. Thanks also to Josh Thompson, who's in Amherst, Massachusetts. Now, it's going to be—that is honestly—that's a trek from Amherst to the Twin Cities. But what we could have never known is that Josh started the journey two days ago. That's right. Josh has been holed up in the greater Minneapolis-St. Paul area for a couple of days, just getting ready, getting emotional. He's staying at that one hotel that you stayed at with the ducks

Oh yeah

Did you stay at a hotel that had live ducks in the lobby

It literally had live ducks in a little pond In the lobby yeah but that place is gone I believe Well

My spirits are buoyed Despite that bad news my spirits are buoyed by the fact that Amelia Ireland is one of the Donors we're thanking today in Bellingham Washington My pal Amelia You know Amelia I'm going to see Bill to spill on Tuesday In Portland Maybe I'll see you there Amelia once gave me a ticket to see Built to Spill At the Wild Buffalo in Bellingham Are Built to Spill, are they a Bellingham band? No, they're from Idaho I don't know if it's actually Boise Or somewhere near Boise But that's the fine work of one Doug Marsh And his homies And his cronies Thanks Amelia, thanks also to Hey, it's Alexander Straughn Who's in Seattle, Washington Alexander has been listening to this show forever and ever, Andrew. I mean, I'm talking radio days.

Really?

It's really nice to see your name. Thank you, Alexander. Alexander, thank you, Alex, I think is what he goes by. Thanks, Alex, appreciate you. And then, Andrew, we've had an Amelia, and now we have an Amalia. It's Amalia Talti, who's in White Plains, New York. Oh, wow. What are the chances? And you don't believe in a God. An Amalia. An Amelia. And an Amelia.

That's amazing.

And also an emoluments clause. That's our that's our last donor. We'd like to thank today. I believe our donor who says that the president should not financially benefit from their position as president. That's our donor emoluments clause. That is absolutely right. Now, I'm going to throw something out here. I don't know if I'm confused.

Or do we have something in Chicago that we skipped over? Did we do things out of order?

We did things out of order because I wanted to start in the Midwest and set up. And Andrew, this is why it was so good. This is why it stuck out in your mind because it was such an interesting problem I set up, which was what is something near Minnesota but not in Minnesota? Right. That's right. So I set up Chicago as an example.

And then we went to Wabasha.

Then we went to Wabasha, but then we went over to Amherst. Right, right. Then down to Bellingham, then over to Seattle, and then out to White Plains. You are a madman. I really am.

Should you be allowed to be this insane?

And then under to Mountlake Terrace, and then over to Lake Forest Park. Thanks, donors.

Thank you, baby.

Thank you, baby. Thank you, baby.

This is my box. This is my box. I never travel without my box Oh, what's in the box? In the first drawer, I keep my magic stones Oh, what's in the box? Licorice, licorice, blood sweet licorice, blood sweet licorice Have some

That, Luke, of course, is the sound of the X-Acto knife opening up to help you open up some of these packages

I thought you were menacing me I was not menacing you We're about to have, like, a 1950s, like, West Side Story-esque face-off where we're holding box knives. Would you, when it comes to licorice, would you say you're black licorice? Are you red licorice, or are you just more like a Rizzler guy?

I'm definitely more of a Rizzler. I think I told you off-air yesterday that, oh, actually, this is a good segue. My friend Pinter, Jessica Pinter, who actually sent us something that we're about to open, Her kiddo was calling herself the Rizzler of Oz. Ah, I love that.

Sticking out your yacht for the Rizzler. You're so skibbity. You're so phantom tax. I just want to be your Sigma. Freaking come here. Give me your Ohio.

I saw some graffiti on the freeway overpass driving up here, and it said Sigma on it. And I was like, that's just got to be someone's graffiti name. It's a coincidence probably, but I thought, well.

I do like licorice, by the way. If I want to be really pedantic about it, which sometimes I am, I mean, technically red licorice is not licorice, right? Licorice is a flavor. Oh, right. Like licorice is licorice. Black licorice is licorice. That's the licorice flavor.

And red licorice is something different.

It's like a, yeah, it's just a flavored candy.

Give me like a, I trust and believe what you're saying, but I want to verify. I know give me can you give me an example of something else like that so I can wrap my mind around it something that is like you know like it is what it is and then people have kind of messed with it and created something that is that is actually not the original in the same shape as it because let's see here because I think like what we're talking about now is something where society has moved on by the way how is the lighting in here you're here later in the day the light is starting to come in through this like it behind me it's not going in your eyes no no no no it's not so I need to join those windows you can't see out you can just see

It's like Hotel California in here Yes, the definition of licorice here Is a sweet, chewy, aromatic, black substance Made by evaporation from the juice of a root And used as a candy and in medicine So like that black licorice Sort of anise flavor Yes, exactly, anise So that is what licorice really is And then over the years people started making I have a good analogy

So it's sort of like if we called Strawberry milk chocolate milk So for instance, when I was a kid You had quick chocolate milk, but then they started making strawberry milk, which you called strawberry milk because it wasn't chocolate milk, even though the chocolate milk came first. It's like we have licorice, then someone started making licorice, someone started making whatever, a red color and flavor, but we're still calling it chocolate milk. Because it's in the shape of the traditional shape of the other one. You pour it into a cup with the thing. It's like, yeah, but this isn't the same thing. I got to stop gesticulating with this sharp knife in my hand because I just realized I do have to go on stage tonight, and I don't want to lacerate myself.

Let's not be bleeding as we go out on the stage. So here's how this is going to work. This is exciting, Andrew. I have a whole bunch of packages here. You have almost, I don't know who that's from, but you are holding right now, Luke, almost the quintessential image of a package. Mail bomb. Or of a mail bomb, yes. It's a box. It's like a perfect little box, and it's wrapped in brown packing paper. There's a little white powder coming out of this.

No, this really is. You're right. This is like wrapped in, what do you call this? Packing paper? Wrapping paper. I don't know.

Butcher paper, maybe?

I think of butcher paper as being a little waxier. Oh. But I don't know. You're right, though. It's the platonic ideal of a parcel. Yes, a parcel.

Parcel, that's the right word. I'm looking up butcher paper. It's a sweet, chewy, aromatic black substance made by evaporation. Oh, like strawberry milk. Exactly. You follow. You open up that box, and while you open up that platonic ideal of a parcel.

It's interesting because it does not have a return address. It just says, and I hope it's okay to say this, Broadview, Seattle, Washington, and then the zip code. Broadview is a neighborhood.

Oh, that's a good point.

It's like as if this just were to say Green Lake or Greenwood.

That's interesting. That's weird. While you open that, though, because we have so much stuff, I think we should do this in tandem. I'm going to open up this package for my friend Pinter, who's my high school friend. I don't know what this is. And has a Rizzler of Oz in the family.

Sticking at your gap for the Rizzler. This is the present opening music. You're so skibbity. Okay. You're so phantom tax.

Now, this is one of those moments. I just want to be your Sigma. Respect the sound.

Come here, give me your Ohio.

Andrew, give me your Ohio. Now, I've gone through the exterior wrapping and have now gotten to what is a box that I think at one time had sunglasses in it.

Oh, okay, but you don't think there's actually sunglasses in there? I don't know yet.

That's what I'm wondering about. Did we just get some Baefang sunglasses?

Could this be like that thing where you get a package on Christmas morning and it's like a hi-fi stereo system, right? Just to keep things young. Yes. And then you open it up and it's like your parents were just using that box. And there's underwear in there, right? Do you think this listener sent us underwear?

We're going to find out. It's not underwear, but it's also not sunglasses. It looks like it's... Is it merch from the TBTL shop? It's merch that you might really enjoy, Andrew, because, hold on, there is a card accompanying this. It says, hi, Andrew. I hope this is okay for me to read out loud

yes I didn't realize that that was more directly towards me I'm sorry

hi Andrew first time long time please find the enclosed sweatshirt from Seattle and PDX based Walsh Construction

I hope it fits

I hope you don't read into the sizing any thought about how big or small I might think you are I've really enjoyed all the North Seattle talk as an eight-year resident of the area. Nice. Keep up the good work, and it's from Ryan.

Ryan, thank you.

And here it is, Andrew, a very handsome Walsh construction T-shirt. Nice. Sorry, sweatshirt. It's a sweatshirt. It's a hoodie. It's not only not a T-shirt. It's not even just a sweatshirt. It's a hoodie.

It's a hoodie. Oh, it's zips. Oh, that's a nice. That's a fine piece of clothing. Absolutely. And it can be representing the wall. I actually kind of like that logo there. That's pretty good. That is cool. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that. Now, my question for you is, are you sure you don't want to wear this around town sort of representing me?

I have. Or to remind you of me. Somebody, I didn't want to rub it in your face, but somebody recently mailed me a hoodie that says Flappers in Burbank. Okay. Gotcha. Which is the number one karaoke place to go there. And so we've all got. I will say this, though. And different strokes for different folks. But my excitement for you, Andrew, about that sweatshirt from Ryan. And by the way, thank you, Ryan. It went up exponentially when I realized there's a zipper on it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I love a zipper hoodie. Here's the thing about a hoodie that you pull over. By the way, the next thing we open is going to be a hoodie you pull over. The thing about a hoodie that you pull over is sometimes you have to pull it off. Like, let's say it gets warm. And invariably, that thing will happen where your T-shirt pulls up. And as I have said on the show before, there is not a longer unit of time than the .005 seconds Yes During which your t-shirt comes up when you're in public Yes It is For me Heinous Especially Unless you're doing a bit with me

Because I got some weird underwear stuff that happens too I wear like kind of traditional boxer shorts So those will sort of ride up sometimes And then if you're like If I'm caught like pulling something Just like Then you just Why is that It's just Just the worst There's a photo of me floating around out there From like a TBTL picnic we did That is like Full It fully exposes like my weird What? I kind of jacked up underwear kind of over my belly while my midriff is exposed.

Someone decided to take a picture of this?

It's rough. What kind of a sadist? It's a very close friend of the show, so let's be careful. Oh, my goodness. I'm going to read to you this note that came in this package from my friend Jessica, who says, hey, guys, I found these random old things in a high school box, and I had to share them. Number one, Batman Trading Cards for Andrew. I also have a lot of love for the first Batman movie. Those aren't for me? I have a collection of Batman Trading Cards, but I certainly do not have them all.

This is fantastic I think it looks like I got the Batmobile card in here I got the Flight of the Batwing I love the Batwing Escape from Flaming Death

Can I see even though I'm not wearing gloves Oh dude These are actually way cool Hang on Vicky Vicky Vale on a zipline

I think that's my friend Nick's favorite card He's a big Vicky Vale head

I can't believe Wait but you haven't discussed specifically these cards

We have because I got him a pack there was a store around here a vintage store that was selling unopened like brand new packs that were left over from 1989 or 1990 or whatever of these Batman cards and so I got a couple of packs of them from my friend Nick for his birthday or something and he was like he held on to one of the packs for like a year without opening it hoping that I think it's the hang on Vicky but there might be a different Vicky Vale card that he remembered from his

I know that we have to get through a lot of stuff so I don't want to keep delaying this but like we have to be

entertaining to see the well do we

this urban warriors card the guy that batman is fighting yes who is that guy because he shows up

his name is bob bob and who plays bob he shows up in a lot of things right yeah there's also a look-alike out there there's this as a gallagher too there's a gallagher too there's an actor who looks just like um uh sorry i'm trying to whoever's playing bob i will mention i'm gonna give

whoever made these cards bob the goon full credit there's one where batman is holding the Joker and it says in the Batman's clutches but they use the TM, the trademark is the apostrophe because the clutches are the Batman's you know what I'm saying? They're doing the possessive correctly of the Batman's clutches

So Tracy Walter plays Bob the Goon, he's also in Repo Man Does he play someone kind of

similar maybe in Repo Man?

He plays like a real Well, yeah, kind of real derelict, I believe, like a real like kind of kind of a real greasy kind of guy. What's he called?

Bob the Builder?

Bob the Goon. Bob the Goon. Tracy Walter is the guy's name. But there's another man who I believe is younger than him, maybe even a generation younger, but looks just like him. And he shows up in a lot of movies. And I always think it's Bob the Goon. And Genevieve has to say, no, no, no. It's that other guy who looks like Bob the Goon.

You're right. Tracy Walter from Jersey City, New Jersey, age 75 years.

Yeah, he's getting up there. Now, here's the thing about this package from Jessica, is there's a couple of things in here for you. The Batman cards were for me. Number two is Janko jeans stickers. Oh, my God. I have no idea where these came from. Keep in mind, Pinter and I went to high school in the 90s, right? I think Pinter graduated one year before me.

Judge none. Cuddle all? Cuddle only?

What is it, judge none?

It's judge none. I know the J-N is Judge Nunn, but I don't know what the C-O is.

I don't want to look it up because I feel like we're very close to it.

Judge Nunn. Compost often?

Yes. You got there. Judge Nunn. Cheat. Cheat. Choose one. Choose one. God, you got there.

I think it was Tracy Walter who said once, judge none, choose one.

Okay, there's one last thing in this envelope. It says, unrelated to TBTL, but look who wrote this article from a 1994 issue of Seventeen magazine, So Weird. Now, I have not unfolded this one page torn out of a magazine or cut out of a magazine from 1994. This is a real blast from the past. Who wrote this article?

Well, I'm going to read you. I hope it's not dirty. Well, I haven't got into it. It's 17 tips to drive him crazy. Okay. Okay. Let's see here. I believe, I think that, I don't know if this was a section of the magazine at the time that was called Voice, but I'm just going to read you a little bit of this. I don't think it's going to help you at all, but you could be walking down the street and maybe tug at the back of your skirt because you know it's too short and too tight, but you wore it anyway, even though your mother told you it looked bad and your thighs had fat on top and that was sticking out of the skirt and you looked like some kind of a slug and maybe you'll run your tongue across your teeth and scrub the front ones with your finger because you might have red lipstick streaks across them and you're worried people will look at your mouth as they walk by you on the street. You might toss your hair. Is this going to turn into a David Byrne song? And you may ask yourself, I'm not exactly sure where all of this is going and probably we should have pre-read it, but I'm going to jump to the end. I think it's just an essay I think it's just a meditation on basically the challenges of being a woman in the world and all the noise in your head and all the ways that you could be quote unquote doing it wrong etc it's written by Maggie Haberman New York New York

Oh, okay, Haberman.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Trump documenter extraordinaire for the New York Times.

Yes, yes, yes.

So before Maggie Haberman was speaking truth to power, Maggie Haberman was writing essays in, and I don't know if this is Maggie Haberman. There's a photo of someone. I don't have quite enough context.

I don't know what Haberman looks like, or I don't remember what she looks like. I do have a couple more packages here. No, you know what?

I think it's a letter, because I think that, you know what? I think this is called voice, and I think what it is.

She just wrote in.

Like, it's a letter to the editor.

That's so cool.

So that actually is interesting. It wasn't just that a young Maggie Haberman was hired to write in this magazine. It was that a young Maggie Haberman was writing into the magazine just like Kamani Davis, age 16, was, and Geneva Harper was.

Oh, interesting. And, yeah, those other two. What have you done? Exactly. One of you is writing for the Times. Okay, sweet. We have two more packages here. One is I'm handing to you. It's a flat envelope. This is interesting.

This one comes from Woodburn, Oregon, which is a place that I've driven by, I think. I think.

And I got another package here that's a bit heftier, and it looks like it comes from our friend Jessamine Specimen.

Oh, of course. Hey, what up, Jessamine? The thing that I'm opening from Woodburn, Oregon is a large, I mean pretty large, like what? Like one foot by two foot kind of like brown envelope with another envelope inside it.

Okay, the mystery. What if it just keeps on?

This is good. This is hours of content.

Oh, really? Hours? Does this look familiar? I thought I felt a coin through that packaging. So somebody took the envelope.

I hope I can say this. This is just because this person was being very responsible. Listener Yvonne, who's there in Oregon, just sending back the thing we sent her. John, I'm sending this coin and certificate back as it came in the mail finally from the post office a couple of weeks ago after you sent me the replacement. Oh, so I had to get an envelope, which caused my delay in returning it. Thank you for getting my replacement. Sincerely, Yvonne. So what happened was Yvonne didn't get her coins. John very assiduously sent Yvonne some more coins and then Yvonne got her coins but Andrew you know what that means now you have some coins remember how you didn't have any coins and now you have coins

well you know yes now and I'm not joking I'm not exaggerating these coins are legit rare and they're legit cool John sent me a few coins in the mail they all got lost the envelope was damaged and I opened it up and there were three certificates and no coins a few of these packages have excuse me A few of these packages have bounced back, and I've been trying to track down the people who didn't receive their coins and send them to them. One of those people said, you know what? You can save the postage. I'm kind of living a clutter-free lifestyle right now, and I love the show, but you can keep the coin. And I said, thank you. So I finally have my own TBTL coin. Aren't they beautiful? They're beautiful, and we have literally no reserves. No reserves whatsoever now. We have no backup. No regerts.

We have some regerts about having no reserves.

So now, because Yvonne sent this back, we have one reserve.

Are those literally the only backup coins in the system?

And I don't consider this one a backup coin. I consider this one to be mine. Yeah, exactly. I think I get one, right? Absolutely. And so now we have one backup coin in the system.

Thanks, Yvonne. Thank you for being so responsible and getting a proper size envelope to mail it back. We appreciate it.

And now our friend, Jessamine Specimen, sent a card that says, hey guys this was originally intended as a holiday card for the tens card exchange but i think it's good for all seasons it is a photo of a very jolly looking hot dog wearing a santa hat and it says happy hot dog days um here's a couple of books that i thought you might enjoy american sandwich might make a good summer games quiz try to guess the sandwich for each state power out jessamine specimen um so here we do we have a first of all we have two of these fans that were made for our 4,000th episode. Love it.

I remember I bumped into Jessamine and a bunch of other folks down at the brewery on the Ave. Yes. We went down there. I think we got kicked out of the theater because we had been in the green room for too long. And then we went down there, and it was very fun. But I remember running into Jessamine there, and they all had these little fans. Very smart. Very good. Here's my question, Andrew. People eat sandwiches in the winter, right? Could this be a winter game?

Absolutely. We have the Great American Hot Dog book in the American Sandwich book. God, I'm hungry. Both by Becky Mercury. And yeah, I will put these aside. Freddy's sister. And I will see if I can find, yes, frighteningly so. Where's your sound effects machine? By the way, it stopped working. Oh, did it? Is there an off button? You broke my sound machine. I mean, honestly, why? You come into my house. It's on the day of my daughter's wedding. You use my cologne. The day of Bingo's wedding. Seriously, I was going to play it at the top of the show. I was going to go like, Luke Burbank? I don't know if you saw me. I want people to know that if the top of the show sounded especially disjointed, it's because I was going to be playing these sound effects and it just stopped working.

Oh, no. Okay.

Well, it was fun while it lasted. It kind of was.

But you know what?

Thanks, Pauly, for nothing.

I think that is...

That's it? That's what's in the box? That's what's in the box! We know what's in the box.

I know that some of these packages go back months now. My apologies. But I really like to save them for when Luke and I are in person together. I think this segment goes better as opposed to me being here, you being in your studio, and me trying to describe to you.

And you also, let's be honest, trying to pilfer most of the stuff. And me trying to... I don't like Andrew to get to... He gets his first crack at the really good stuff. No, but in all seriousness, thank you. to everybody who sends stuff in i mean it's an incredibly nice thing to do yes and i very much appreciate it and it's just one of those again one of those little reminders that like you know this people enjoy this show and people want to share their lives with us and when they see things out in the world they think of us on the show and then and then they take the time to put it in a package and send it this way so thank you very much it's an incredibly thoughtful i don't send my mother cards you know so the fact that people would take time out of their life to mail us stuff is is really thoughtful so thank you so much yeah you said my mother card which is so well that's something we can talk about off air all right a little music for your weekend maybe how about this andrew how about this how about that how about i start sure this week because you know i don't know let's just keep it let's keep it interesting let's let's let's keep surprising listeners with how we can do things um i would like to suggest a song by the singer Lola Young Lola Young is uh is a British singer um and I believe went to the same performing high school that like Adele went to I've played a Lola Young song on the show before because the way I found out about Lola Young is from her singing on TikTok I mean she you know records albums but then the way they're promoted is sometimes her singing on TikTok and she's always you know that kind of microphone that i tend to use um if my house was called a sure sm7 uh the way that the kids do it which i will never understand it's on a lot of these podcasts they're just holding it by the bottom which is not the design because you know it has a little screw yeah it's more of a studio

mic that would usually be on a stand be on a stand and in fact because i'm an old the idea of holding

one of those studio microphones without the stand that it comes with it just like if we started a podcast you and i an episode of the podcast and you were like can you just hold this by your mouth i'd be like ah i can't i can't do that for one hour radio professional like it would really throw me but it's actually a whole aesthetic remember the other day i was talking about how there's the aesthetic of like the or there's the specific look of filming things not in landscape oh yeah yeah and how almost the casualness of that is a thing the casualness of just being out in the world holding one of these microphones without its proper handle is a whole thing and lola young young deploys it quite effectively she's often just like walking down a street or taking the subway or sitting on a dock or whatever singing into one of these microphones i just love her voice i feel like she and maybe she's already huge with a younger group of people that i than the ones i hang out with i feel like we are going to be hearing more and more about lola young as time goes on because she has a very um i think kind of charming unique sort of gravelly voice She writes really catchy songs, or at least she's singing catchy songs that are written by whomever. And so this song is Conceded by Lola Young.

I swim too quickly

Cause big waves are hard to jump over You're not sweet, not sickly

You don't taste like nothing when I'm sober And I already wanna die You just make it like ten times worse And I heard that you tell the guys I'm the worst You come round on Monday And goddamn you stink like you've missed me I find it funny You don't close your eyes when you kiss me And I'm sick of your puppy eyes You said boy should never cry Well, surprise, I bet no one's ever told you You want me so well as I gave love to someone else Told me that you love me

It's also funny as a, as a certified older person out 47, listening to someone who's

like maybe 22 singing about relationships there's just a it's so close to the surface when you're that age you know and it's like it's like what must it be like to feel i wonder looking back like this idea of like things being dramatic and and being like you're so in love one minute then you're kind of so out of love another minute or it's like it's just drama and stuff like that i just i just have such low t now i can't i love it reminds me of a time in my life when i like i don't think becca and i have had an argument in two years like and i think that's because a she's a great person and b i just think i have low t okay i'm just i've become somehow relatively low

maybe yeah there's something very there's also something very gritty about this this feels like did you say this is she in english is she's british british yeah it sounds it yeah i really

like her voice yeah i just think it's got there's a kind of a sort of sandpaper yeah kind of grittiness to to how she sings so that's lola young that's conceited i think that's off of the album um well i think it's off of the album just the tracks ma'am i love that record that's from

1962 yeah um i'm gonna play for you something very different in a song that i'm assuming that you already know given your background with this type of music but uh the reason i'm playing this says remember a few weeks ago or maybe a month ago i played a song by kurt vile called another good year for the roses which is sort of a um tribute to this song by george jones which was originally called a good year for the roses yeah how familiar are you with the original song a good

year for the roses i was familiar at all until you played the kurt vile song and then i told the story of george jones on the lawnmower yes which is interesting because i think he even

mentions a lawnmower or he mentions the lawn needing to be mowed in this but that's clever But no, no, this is George Jones, and this is not about the famous story of him getting on a lawnmower to get booze because Tammy Wynette, his partner at the time, had hidden his keys. But this is a, you'll be surprised to hear it, devastatingly sad song about divorce. I mean, this is- You just woke up Siri on my watch with that.

It is so- Hey, Siri, play songs about devastating divorces.

I think you're going to like this, Luke. it is so sad though it just paints the picture of the final day and it is so poetic but it is

I have no I have absolutely no experience with this topic listen to the line

it's a relatively short song there's only like two verses I'll play the first verse and then the chorus but listen to the line about the coffee cup

hey can you take this knife away it's gonna this is

sorry about that you please confiscate that box knife this isn't gonna be easy for anybody involved

I can hardly bear the sight of lipstick On the cigarettes there in the ashtray Lying cold the way you left them But at least your lips caressed them While you packed And a lip print on a high-filled cup of coffee That you poured and didn't drink But at least you thought you wanted it That's so much more than I can say for me It's been a good year for the roses Many blooms still linger there The lawn could stand in another mower Funny I don't even care When you turn to walk away As the door behind you closes The only thing I know to say It's been a good year for the roses

At least you thought you wanted it More than I can say for me Written by Jerry Chestnut, by the way Oh my God We didn't even get to the lyric about Their only child, a baby crying in the other room

This song is the saddest effing song

Thank you.

Well, why do you think he was on the lawnmower?

Exactly. Oh, my God. That song is devastating, but also I feel like very poetic and very beautiful.

Yeah, that is great, actually. I need to get back into more of that kind of real old-timey country because every time I listen to any of it, I'm like, this is music that gives you a feeling, which is all you can kind of ask for. This is a musical selection or suggestion, I should say, that's going to give us a feeling because it's long and involved and there's multiple choices. It's from listener Laura, who says, hey, it's Laura currently of St. Pete, formerly of Toledo, also resident Swifty, not on staff of TBTL, writing here for your choice. Luke and Andrew of Trax from Taylor's newest Reclaim album, 1989, says, I'm happy to be here or on Week in Review with John to explain the detail of the reclaims. I think I actually know sort of the reclaims, right? She basically has re-recorded a bunch of her stuff so that it's hers again and doesn't belong to Scooter Braun or something. So in her new release version, she also includes never-released tracks called the Vault Tracks, as is the trend with TVs in the 1989 vaults are amazing, and it's from there. So this sounds like it's a Vault Track from a Taylor Swift reclaim project. It's from there I nominate two songs, and it is going to be your choice as to which to choose perhaps John can help sorry we haven't talked to John in weeks we don't know where he is honestly we saw him on a lawnmower crying clutching lipstick stained cigarettes and we don't know what's going on we wish him well anyway here are my two favorite 1989 of course that's a Taylor Swift album vault tracks one of them is and I'm gonna say a word here that I don't I think you know this is a word that we we should take back so one of them is slut and one of them is now that we don't talk. Now, Andrew, we're not we don't have time to listen to both of these, but I'm going to read you Laura's description of them. And then I'm going to leave it to you to pick which one you think we should play as the end of our broadcast week. The song Slut is relatable in the damned if I do damned if I don't dichotomy of a lot of women, women, especially elder millennial women who felt in the early to mid 2000s when we were forced to be skinny and sexy but not too skinny or too sexy because then you would be a slut now that we don't talk gets me in the most best friend way a lot of times a lost lover and lost bff have the same effects and feelings and this song feels that way to me we're not even done with email yet andrew i have many many more words to say about these songs and many other taylor songs that i'd love to recommend But my 11, Marissa, who tolerates my TBTL and Swifty obsessions for some reason, tells me I should chill and end the email now. Marissa, that's great advice. Cheers and love to you all. Signed, Laura and St. Pete. So I guess the question, Andrew, is now that we don't talk or the song Slut! A Taylor Swift.

Taylor's version.

Taylor's version.

Yeah, I'm going to go with Slut here because Paige Weldon, a comedian who I was briefly acquainted with, she's the comedian who drew the little logo of me, you know, the dainty little, like, watercolor painting of me that I use for, like, my social media profile and stuff. Paige painted that. But anyway, she's a comedian of some repute? Renown? Renown. Some success, whatever. She's more of a friend of a friend. But anyway, she's a big Swifty, and I saw her. I have not heard either one of these songs But I saw her On social media talking about How great this song Slut Taylor's version is So I think we should go out with that today

That's gonna wrap it up for us Thank you so much everyone for listening Thanks for being part of TBTL We'll be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio For you in the meantime have a great weekend Go Seahawks and please remember no mountain too tall And good luck to all

Being this young as art aquamarine Moonlit swimming pool What if all I need is you? Got love struck, went straight to my head Got love sick all over my bed Love to think you'll never forget Handprints in wet cement Adorned with smoke on my clothes Lovelorn and nobody knows Love thorns all over this rose I'll pay the price you want But if I'm all dressed up They might as well be looking at us

And if they call me a slut You know it might be worth it for

How many hot dogs do you eat in a day?

him? I'd rather not answer that. Thank you, though. Did you eat hot dogs today? Not exactly.

Why are you bringing this up? Well, you have mustard on your shirt,

and frankly, your verbs reek of hot dogs. I had a hot dog bowl earlier today. Yes, I did. And what is a hot dog bowl? It's like a burrito bowl,

but it's chopped up hot dogs in a big old bread bowl. So like a much larger,

less healthy hot dog.

Can I go? I'm starving.

Power out.