Muse

Excuse me, can I talk to you for a second? How can I help you? My date's eating all the fully loaded nachos. Mm-hmm. All the ones with the meat and cheese and everything. The ones that are fully loaded, she's hogging them. So I'm mostly getting just, like, just chips. Like, mostly just chips. Like, nothing on them, but, like, a little bit of cheese and maybe one little nugget of meat. Okay. Can you say something to her? Say what? Maybe go up the table and just say, like, hey, stop that! Or, like, hey, that's not allowed. You want me to go over and say stop eating the meat on the chips? No, just say the restaurant has a rule. It's not you. It's the rule the restaurant has that if you get an item to share, you can't... One person can't just eat all the fully loaded ones. Like, don't look around. Find the one with the most meat and always eat that one. Can't you just ask her to share with you? Can't you just say the restaurant has a rule? TBTL!

In the next hour, we will present information that's both shocking and enlightening.

Everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle. Your stories have none of that.

I'm a Grammy Emmy Tony and Webby Award winning and nominated songwriter, artist, designer, director, editor, animator, producer, collector, party thrower.

That was great. That was good. You went for it. I appreciate that.

You embarrassed me in front of Derek Jeter.

You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter. And I also think it wouldn't hurt you to talk to a therapist about your bathroom issues because there's clearly something going on there. All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Here we go. Not going to mess this up. Not going to mess this up. Here we go. Ready?

Hi. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at a pretty decent day so far. A little rainy, but that seems to be clearing up and watching the tugboats do their thing. We're about to do our thing called 4137. That's the episode we're on. Let the fun begin. in a collector's series for the last three shows i believe i have been promising that we would talk about some movie related content and each day i've failed to get to that top story material you could look at that as terrible clock management by me or you could say andrew and i just have so much naturally occurring hilarious intriguing content that we blessed you with it the last few days

instead of getting to the top story so or a blessing it's really just a perspective shift

that i need you all to make please here early in the show on this february the 8th um i did something this morning involving my coffee processes that was basically the worst case

scenario the thing i've been worried about this song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the

world will the coffee topic take so much time that we once again don't get to the top stories who knows i also got a text from my mother suzy v i'll say what's up dope like as the show was beginning and it made me laugh aloud so maybe we'll share that with you uh as well today we'll definitely share the blurs days together it's a thursday aka blurs day that's what we always do and we always talk to this guy along the surrounding cobra of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. Something you may not know about him. He's got like every meme ever produced on the internet. He can knock us out with his memes. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

I'm not joking when I say I sort of want to take up as much space telling personal stories today to once again push back your promise.

That is true. I have established that kind of dynamic here where it's almost more fun if we just never get to the stories. They're not even that great. That's the best part.

Now, I legit do want to ask you some questions about what happened to you right before the show. But will you allow me just like two minutes here? Can I get like three and a half minutes to tell you about something I did yesterday that I think might be relatable? But also, just so ironic. There's been something on my to-do list forever. Uh-oh. There's been something on my to-do list forever. And you know that feeling where you think it's going to be a little bit of a hassle, so you just keep pushing it off and pushing it off and pushing it off. And it's not that big of a deal. A similar thing was getting myself a new eye doctor appointment. I've been complaining about my glasses for a year and a half. It took me like 15 minutes to find an eye doctor and make an appointment, right? And I finally got that on the books. That's not what I did yesterday, though. Yesterday, I finally sat down and it's...

a weird thing to be proud of but i finally sat down and canceled my gym membership now hear me out that is a weird thing to be proud of hear me out it's because i plan on joining another gym and this is a plan that's been in the works for a couple of months now i was getting my hair cut at a hair cuttery and my barber told me that she goes to a gym that's kind of near my house and we were sort of triangulating our neighborhood she doesn't live far from me and i was saying how i've belonged to 24 hour fitness for such a long time um but i find their locker rooms to be pretty unkempt pretty dirty pretty gross band-aids on the floor old people throwing all kinds of shit on the floor and even though i live so close to the gym i could just come home and shower afterwards for me a big part of it is like you know working up a sweat and getting in that mind space and then taking a hot shower fitting your life away basically just crossfit my life away get as ripped and jacked as i possibly could exactly and i like to just hang out in the locker room as much as possible just hours on end i like to bring a book make people feel uncomfortable but anyway taxes so i probably belong to 20 or 24 hour fitness for i mean 15 years now i liked it my membership moved around with me when i lived in la move around like you can always go to a 24 hour fitness so it's been great for me but i was like i haven't been going much lately and this is the weirdest thing maybe although i think it's relatable the 24 hour fitness I go to, I got to take a left out of my neighborhood, and it's a pain in the ass to take a left out of my neighborhood. Oh, I've done it. I've done it. I do it a lot, but it's like, it's this barrier, sort of. It's a funny thing. It's like both of the main roads that I would have to take a left out of to get there are a pain. And so anyway, this woman is cutting my hair. She's telling me how much she likes Planet Fitness up on Aurora. I'm like, I could take a right to get to that. That sounds a lot easier. She's like, the locker rooms are very clean. And then it's like way cheaper than what I'm paying. It's almost like half what I'm paying at 24 hour fitness. And I realized, well, I've had some really good, you know, I've gotten to some pretty good grooves in my life where I'd go to 24 hour fitness and feel good, you know, going almost every day and leaving. It's been a while since I've been in that mode and I never wanted to give up my membership because I figured it'd be a pain to give it up and then re-sign up somewhere else. And then I'm telling Genevieve, hey, I got this new plan. I'm going to go to Planet Fitness now. And she's like, ah, well, good luck breaking your membership with 24-Hour Fitness. I'm like, what do you mean good luck? I'm going to tell them no thank you.

You just practice what you're going to say on the drive over. Yeah. And you think about it. It's not unlike what I was listening to the Supreme Court debating this morning on NPR. And I was listening to the attorney on behalf of the state of Colorado who was very prepared, in my opinion. And I thought, this guy must have just sat around with a bunch of other legal eagles and just run every single possible thing that one of the justices might say to him and how to respond to it. That's you on your way to 24-Hour Fitness trying to break up with them.

That's right. Hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel, gripping it tightly, just reciting. And it's kind of like it's a not you, it's me kind of situation, although in this case it's you in your locker room. No, but Genevieve's like, I'm telling you, man, these gyms, especially the chains, they're notorious to get out of your contract with or whatever. I'm like, I've been, you know, I've just been paying monthly for 15 years. I think if anything, I'll just cancel my credit card or stop my credit card.

And she was just like, if anything, I'll just move and assume a new identity.

Right, exactly. I'll change my name to Andrew Alsh. No, that one. I've already used that one for L.A. fitness, I think. But anyway, the point is, I don't know what Genevieve expected. I don't know why Genevieve expected it to be such a pain. But when I was on a good roll, I was like, I'm going to go. I'm going to quit this gym. Then I'm going to go get a tour of the other gym. I'm going to sign up. I'm going to do this right away. But Genevieve was like, I don't know about that. And ever since she said, I don't know about that, it's been in my head like, oh, shit. And I mentioned to somebody else, they're like, yeah, you're going to have to write a letter. I'm like, who am I writing a letter to? Mr. 24 Fitness? Like, what are you talking about? Oh, shit. Things are hard. So finally yesterday, after our meeting, you, me, and John had a businessman's meeting. And then after a businessman's meeting, I'm like, all right, I'm a businessman. I can do this. I'm going to sit down. I'm going to dedicate the next 90 minutes of fighting with these people to end my membership.

I love that you harnessed the seriousness of conversations about K-1 tax implications. Yes, exactly. You harnessed that right into, and I'm finally going to have this difficult conversation. I understand that psychology completely. Like you were in the mode of getting things done.

Getting things done. And again, it's ironic. Like, it's not like, hey, good news. I signed up for a gym. I'm just trying to cancel a gym membership. Well, listen to this. So I'm like, I'm really geared up. It's been a week since I've been thinking about this, if not over a month. And so I'm in my head about, like, what a pain it's going to be. I'm like, I'll start by calling the main number while I also Google around online. So I call the main, you know, corporate number or whatever. The chat bot tells me that, hey, if you want. to cancel your membership uh you got to call the local you know your gym your local gym i'm like okay but i'm also at the same time going through this process online of of seeing if i can um unsubscribe but then the guy at my local gym picks up it rings it rings it rings i go through a phone tree and then it's like and if you want to cancel your membership hit five and they sound right i'm like okay so i hit five and it rings and it rings and it rings i'm like oh i know you hit five and it just rings it to a phone that doesn't exist or is it alone in a room somewhere on a stool dusty with cobwebs right but it rings and rings and rings i'm like ready i'm just like

all these sons of guns it's the lowest law enforcement priority for them answering the phone where you cancel the membership we're gonna put that at the bottom of the list of things that

we're gonna care about y'all and you know who ends up answering the phone i don't know his name but he's the nicest easiest guy to work with i'm like hey i gotta cancel my membership all right what's

your name is he physically at the location that you have yeah before I'm on the phone but I had

to call my local gym the national number said call the local gym I'm like all right and I'm like no offense see this is rude but no offense I'm like I've seen the people at the local gym like I don't I feel like they're just gonna sigh it depends on who is working the desk that day but I'm like I'm gonna get some young person who doesn't want to be there who just wants to like work on their physique or something so they got a job at 24-hour fitness and they're gonna sigh and they're going to tell me that they can't because the system's locked up and I've got to call corporate. I was just ready for all kinds of bullshit instead of guys just like, oh, yeah, sounds good. What's your name? Okay, yep, yep, cancel on that, cancel on that. You'll get an email here in just a second. Also, your membership is still good through March 20th because you paid first and last month whenever you signed up. I'm like, oh, anything else? I'm all geared up. I'm like, anything else? You want to talk about abortion in the Middle East? Can we fight about something here, Derek?

If you would have been there in person, you could have just been like, I'm going to hit the weights. Yeah. I have so much pent up energy around this conversation that's now gone like unexpressed.

And it was funny, though. And then when I'm like, oh, I have like a month and a half of gym membership. I should go. It was so weird. This thing I ended up not going. I did go on a nice long walk yesterday, which felt very healthful until I stopped at the rickshaw on the way home and got a little tight, which really probably was worse for me than the than the vigorous walk I took to Carkeek Park. But anyway, it was a good day. I got this. I'm way over my limit on time I'm sorry but it was just amazing how much I put this off and I put this off everybody's like oh you're gonna have to get a lawyer it's gonna be a whole thing it's like no you just call a friendly fella and he's like okay no problem here's an email confirming our

conversation yeah I had a kind of a similar experience with I might have been 24 hour as well I forget the one that I had joined in Portland because they had good basketball courts and when I was going to move up here to the Madrona Hill studio full time I was like, the closest one was too far away and I was like, I'm never going to use this so same thing, I kind of psyched myself up, I was like, they're going to throw everything but the kitchen sink at me to try to get me to, I can see that by the way being a workout that they're starting now if you enjoyed flipping over a truck tire you should try our kitchen sink workout we tie it around you, bury you in the bottom of the swimming pool and you have to swim your way to the surface

Why are all these people running around the 24-hour fitness carrying sinks? Right. Let's look at that.

But anyway, same thing. I walked in. I was really preparing myself for just having to, like, you know, just get, you know, overcome this sales pitch of, like, well, what if we put you on this plan? What if we did this? And the guy was just like, I was like, yeah, I'm moving. He was like, okay, cool, gotcha. Just, you know, ended the plan. And the same thing was, like, you know, you're good through the end of the month or whatever it was. And what we've been told about that, I think, has been somewhat overstated. Or there's been an industry shift. Maybe they've just realized it wasn't working. Well, I was about to say, maybe they realized it wasn't working, but in a way it was working. How many months did you continue paying the 24-hour fitness company beyond when you were using their services because of your concern around how big of a hassle it was going to be to cancel your membership?

And for me, it was more about like, well, if I cancel it, it'd be more. I was traditionally always more worried about, well, if I cancel it now and then regret it, it's going to be a pain in the ass to sign up. there's going to be startup fees there's going to be i feel like there's a lot of fees at the beginning i don't know if that's true my next great white whale which is what they call me

when i show up at the gym by the way well that's part of why you didn't let go to that place

anymore they were bullies luke yeah when this great white whale rolls into planet fitness i am worried about them asking me a whole bunch of questions about what are your fitness goals and what do you want to do and can we get you with a personal trainer and all this stuff i'm and i'm that i am practicing i'm i'm just i i don't know how to tell them like all i want to do is come here do some cardio get my blood up a little bit do some crunches and go home like i got my whole thing hit the rickshaw it's very and then let's see that's up north what what Maybe Goldie's? I'm trying to think what is the trashiest bar more by Planet Fitness. Maybe Goldie's or maybe the Amazon Fulfillment Center. I don't know. Either way, they're both classy.

Oh, I'm sure you can get a drink there. I'm sure there are plenty of people that are dulling the pain of that job by taking a quick nip. I will tell you this about Planet Fitness. I'm doing a little cursory web research. It's the most purple gym I've ever seen. Oh, okay. So you've got that going for you. And this one that I'm looking at has a huge sign painting on the wall in front of all of the various treadmills and stuff. And it just shows the Planet Fitness logo, and it said it equals no critics. So there will be nobody criticizing you there. No one will be calling you Wandrew Alsh, the great white whale.

That's right. That's their whole campaign. They've been doing this for a long time now, and I thought it was notable when they started doing it that they're like, we're the judgment-free gym or what have you.

That's a very, actually, I think that's a very smart piece of marketing.

Yeah, yeah, and they're all carving out their little niches, right? Because you told me, is it, I can't remember what the, what the gym is, where it's kind of the opposite of that, where they put your stats on a board and it's kind of gamifying it. Oh, orange theory. Yeah. And that will work for some people too. You know what I mean? Like I kind of like the fact that the different gyms are like figuring out, well, what are, what is the clientele that we want to attract? Not just everybody on New Year's Day.

Right. Then there's like the one that I belong to in New York called Equinox, which is without a doubt, the most judgy gym in the, it's like, it's for beautiful people by beautiful people. If you're here, you better really, you better really be bringing your most beautiful self. Like it was Midtown Manhattan, well, it was like Bryant Park. It was almost as much as my rent. I went two times probably in a year and it was the worst thing. In fact, when Becca and I were in New York recently, we were walking around that area, and I was like, oh, there's that Equinox that I never went to because it was, like, for a sort of certain high-achieving, you know, unbelievably fit, high-earning, whatever. Like, it was not a good place for me.

Oh, you mean the place that is featured prominently in Broad City?

I know you're not working today, but we could really use some Abby magic. There's a pube situation in the locker room that is untrusted.

She's working at Equinox? I love it. Oh, I think they call it Solstice or something. Oh, there you go. It's same place. Basically Equinox, yeah.

I completely signed up because me and one of the founders of that show I was doing, the Bryant Park Project, Matt Martinez, we both were like, we are going to be new people once we join Equinox. We're going to – in fact, you know what I think really happened was they probably gave him a kickback. I think he was like, I'm thinking about joining Equinox. Do you want to come with me? It was like going to an Amway meeting or something. I got dragged along, of course, and then I'm looking around this gym and it's just, I think if I'm a member of this gym, I will be one of these people who I see working out here, who I see with 0% body fat and, you know, some presumably beautiful apartment right off of the park. Like this is, this is the life I want to have. And, and so I got, you know, kind of talked into it. And then the other thing was the idea there was I was going to get up at like three thirty in the morning because that was what time we had to get up, go in, work my whole day and then on my way home, stop off and just like absolutely crush the weights for an hour. It's like that is not the mood that I'm in at, you know, two in the afternoon after working a long, long day.

So although it depends on you are hosting, I mean, you at a network level, I mean, it's such a higher pressure job. But I will say that when I had a job where I had to get in at three in the morning and even if I worked kind of a long day, let's even just say I was leaving work at like sometimes it'd be like one o'clock or two. It was still a great time to go to the gym because it was like kind of off kilter from everybody else. It wasn't the lunchtime and it wasn't the after work time and it wasn't the morning time. So there's something nice about working like not the night shift, but like sort of a sort of a you're just half a day off from everybody else because it does clear out the gyms and the malls and anywhere else you need to go after work.

when i worked in morning radio that was for the people that liked that schedule so not even in new york but when i was in seattle and producing a morning show there uh you know the the host would be like yeah but you could be on the golf course at 9 a.m and i'd be like no i'm well at that time i was like no i'm i'm trying to sneak in like an hour nap because i'm hung over like a mofo and i've got to pick my kid up from half day kindergarten like in like an hour but like you know there are people that really love that schedule like yeah i can get all my errands done and there's no competition and i'm like my errand was to immediately return to bed oh see yeah i

wasn't like that i would try to stay up until like i don't know somewhat reasonable bedtime like seven o'clock or something or eight o'clock um and and then i would just kind of power through power through to that time basically which i don't know if that's really powering through so i liked but i'm anti-social you know what i mean like i had a great excuse not to do things with

people it was great i am pro social and at that time when i was working in radio I was beginning my dating life of my first ex. And so I'm like 22 and I'm in a new relationship that's based around swing dancing. I know, easy, everyone. Yes, it was a very sexy time in my life. And all I would do would be, I would be out every night doing something. And then I'd have to wake up and eventually drinking was more and more of a part of it too. So I was out carousing almost every night and then waking up at 3.30 to go to work. I've told this story many times on the show, but I remember waking up and having stayed over with my girlfriend at the time at her place and putting on what I thought were my socks and getting to work and realizing I had pulled on one of her socks, which was, and I don't know what the, I don't know why they even make this, but they were basically like nylons. Like one of the socks was made out of like nylons material. and just looking down at my one normal sock and then my other kind of mesh sock that was just smashing up my ankle hair as I just wanted to crawl under my desk and die that was the moment I was like I don't think that this morning radio producer schedule is for me yeah no I feel that um let's uh let's do this Andrew let's thank some donors and then I um I've already made too much out of it but I will just tell you about my uh the text I got from my mom which is just a quickie But since I was laughing, you heard me in the soundcheck laughing. I do need to pay that off, if only for you. And then we'll try to get to these top stories or not. You never know here on TBTL. You've probably heard me talking about the Radiotopia show, Everything is Alive. It's the interview show where all of the subjects are inanimate objects and they're created by, you know, amazing performers who are kind of ad-libbing what it's like to be a streetlight or a can of soda. or whatever well the folks that bring you everything alive are trying something a little different this season it's a new series called the animals it is an interview show in which the subjects are all animals you ever wondered what's going on in the mind of a flamingo or a kangaroo with a joey who refuses to leave the pouch that's all happening this season on the animals from the folks at everything is alive harry kandabalu is their friend of the show mave higgins my pal from wait wait don't tell me it's an amazing show and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts hey let's thank some donors who are making tbtl happen with their donations And we are so thankful for that We really, really are Every week brings new news About the turbulence of the wider podcast world

And, you know, things that exist And things that are no longer existing And funding models that are collapsing And somehow, here's little old TBTL Thanks to folks like Andrew Kugelman In Dallas, Texas

Thank you, Andrew

Thank you, Andrew

Love that name

Kugelman Look at this back-to-back Andrew action, Andrew Oh, we do.

Oh, my goodness.

Andrew Plymail of Richland, Washington, out there, home of the Richland Bombers.

And Luke, do you know that my name is Andrew?

I was told your name was Wain-Drew.

Oh, somebody's been looking at my LA fitness profile.

Thank you to both of those Andrews. Thanks also to Carmen Marshall of Edmonds, Washington. Don't say it.

Nope.

That's the moment. You just heard it. That was the moment when I officially decided I'm over that joke.

You were telling me not to say it, or are you telling yourself? I was telling myself.

You can say whatever you want.

I thought you were telling me, honestly, but I'm with you.

You have a First Amendment right, and I have honestly argued it up to the highest court, but they refused to grant cert. Can you tell I've got a lot of Supreme Courting on the brain today? But I've been trying to get you blocked from saying what you want on the show, but I still can't. So you're legally allowed to make the Edmonds joke if you want to.

Because it says I can't hold office, not be elected to office.

You are not. Yeah, exactly. You're not, I mean, you're not considered an officer of TBTV. Right. Actually, I am.

I think we're officers of TBTV.

Yes, very much so. And nobody knows that more than Carmen Marshall. Thanks, Carmen. Also, Pat Rowe is in Seattle, Washington.

Oh, just that south of Edmonds.

Uh-huh. Yeah, our friends to the south.

Exactly.

If we were in Edmonds, then Pat Rowe would be our friend to the south. Thanks, Pat. Also, Soralia Pollack checking in from Cedar Park, Texas.

Ooh, Cedar Park. Sounds nice.

Soralia has been supporting the program for a long, long time, and we are so appreciative of that. That's not a name you forget. And also our second person checking in from Texas today.

Oh, yeah. How many is that?

We're super serving. We're super served.

the Lone Star State today. It doesn't feel so alone. And we're also super served by the residents

of Everett, Washington, or Everett, as people might say. They grew up around here. And specifically today, we're talking about Karen Meeker. Our friend Karen Meeker, who's in Everett, Washington. Another very familiar name. Thanks, Karen. Indeed. Thank you so much to all of our donors. Thanks for making TBTL possible. We couldn't do this thing without you. That is the truth. hello and welcome to top story this back and forth with my mom this morning is kind of it's so silly and also slightly complicated to explain um like back on wednesday january 24th i know this because these things are time stamped there was a new york times obit about the singer melanie who um had passed away at age 76 melanie had played woodstock melanie was probably best known widely for the song brand new key which is that i've got a i've got a pair of roller skates you've got a brand new key or whatever yeah yeah yeah famously featured in

boogie nights i think oh is i was gonna say i i might only know that from you telling me about because your mom loves that song right i don't know if i actually not that song a different

song by melanie that was a little bit less i mean it might have been popular but it was mostly just popular in our family or at least my so my mom there was another song by melanie about vegetarianism called like i love animals or i like animals and there was a line in the song that says like i love animals i want nothing dead in me and my mom used to sing that line to me to explain her somewhat brief foray into vegetarianism back in the day like i might not have even been born at this point so when Melanie passed away I forwarded the obit to my mom no response zero response and then this morning I get a text from my mom that says uh Luke I was looking back on past text for kicks and I predicted the Niners for the Super Bowl back in early October upside down emoji smile so she was just rereading our old text and wanted to gloat that she had predicted that the Niners were going to be in the Super Bowl which is fine but then I think in that review of the text, she noticed the Melanie obit that I had sent her. And she said, by the way, Luke, I became a vegetarian because of Melanie's song, I Don't Eat Animals. That lasted about two years, and I lived on lentils, soybeans, and peanut butter. And I said, mom, I remember that story about Melanie. That's why I sent you her obituary, because I remember you always singing that I Like Animals song when I was a little kid. And then she just, this is right as we were going on the air, she responds uh she just sends me a quote i don't eat animals because i love them you see i don't eat animals want nothing dead in me and quote some food for your little tbtl chat

she wasn't wrong here we are talking about it for our tv or not literally but it is not in the way

she was intending but it this has turned out to be food for our tbt how do you how do you think she intended it i i don't exactly i mean i guess maybe the topic of um of being a vegetarian maybe

yeah and and and melanie the background on melanie i think that also like i mean i think me and many listeners can't help but to think about how you have almost like you said almost intrusive thoughts when it comes to the the safety and happiness or perceived happiness of animals and um and you've talked a lot about how you've been feeling that you know more strongly in the past i don't know five years and you're mostly vegetarian now um and so i mean melanie that

shit really works apparently so and i think this also perfectly encapsulates how my mom is unintentionally one of the most entertaining people i've ever met but rarely for the reasons that she's thinking that she's going to be entertaining you know my mom's just very existence on this planet cracks me up well yeah and this is a perfect example of that like she's thinking this would be you could talk about being vegetarian and i'm just like i think it's funny that you end the text some food for your tbtl chat did you say a little tbtl chat though that was what i really

like yeah some food for your little tbtl chat just it also puts us in our place just a tiny bit

yeah anyway so that's uh that's the latest on that should we oh you know what andrew i had one job and that was to have our new um our new movie not even new our new old movie theme ready to go yesterday I was like we got an email from a listener who said uh was it I'm gonna go out on a limb was it listener Ryan was the listener maybe named Ryan if you said the name I don't recall and um and Ryan said if you're gonna do a movie segment you have to of course use your old movie theme from the radio days because you have a great theme and then I had completely forgotten about MC Bang's take you to the movies

Good luck. to go to the movies you know especially you girl

all right let's talk uh movies here um are you familiar with bill walton like as kind of a well you you use some bill walton tape in the show you know that yes and i think that in about i'll bet

you if i look up walton oh yeah i do i do have it labeled i think when i pulled this tape i didn't

know who he was and when they bring that high hard one in i stand in lean back and then just bam and it sails away out through the universe like a radio wave that goes past saturn and jupiter pluto through the black hole and into many other galaxies yet named now i'm going to tell you

something as you set this story up yeah i don't think i knew who bill walton was when i pulled that i do have a better understanding of it now and it's from a podcast i listen to all the time but it's not lebitard oh it's comedy bang bang like they have uh i don't know who the comedian is but one of their regular guests used to do a bill walton impression and so fake bill walton wait so that's not bill walton that's that's real this is real but the reason why i'm i now know who it is is because of this character bill walton who i then at one point looked up like who are

they spoof in here bill walton is a very interesting figure to me um i i sort of i found him frustrating at times for a reason that i actually think is not really his fault which is he used to occasionally call sonics games and something that happens when you're a sports fan is i think you become convinced that the national announcers don't like your team whoever your team is it just and this is really a study of like human psychology more than anything right it's not a conversation about sports standards a conversation about like if you talk to any uh football like fan group they will tell you that like joe buck hates their team you know or that like troy aikman hates their because all you ever hear are the things that the announcers say that are sort of negative about your team um and and the fact that we all think it tells me that it's probably not happening the way we think it's happening although i will say that sometimes i

listen to a national game that i don't have any rooting interest in at all and it is so clear that tony romo is just i mean he's half i like tony i know there's a lot of backlash on him but he just seems to like choose a team and root for them have you noticed that i don't know if i have but i'm

not i'm not saying that i'm not disagreeing i might be wrong about that i might be wrong but so bill walton used to sometimes call the sonics games and also he was a long time portland trailblazer which that used to be a big rivalry the i5 rivalry um so i was always kind of like meh on bill walton but i do actually kind of love him now i mean he is just a truly the guy is a nut bar a nut bar i mean he's bar he he's he's of course a very large individual and he's very into like the grateful dead he's clearly like a person who's uh experimented uh with i'm sure plenty of psychedelics and hallucinogens over i would assume during the game like there are these pictures of bill walton as a portland trailblazer where he literally he looks like he's on something in the moment he just has these like thunderous like mutton chops that are grown out and this just giant shag of hair just like he basically what he looks like is a wookie which brings me to this little bit of audio where um he was calling uh this was a college game but i think he was uh working with the uh announcer dave pash uh who's uh you know calls basketball games and was asking Bill Walton if the rumors are true that the character of Chewbacca is actually based on Bill Walton and I'm thinking specifically Bill Walton with his from his days of having like a wild lion's mane of hair and running around on the court as a Portland Trail Blazer and this is this tape is not great sorry it's just it's very loud in the arena they're in and whoever's miking these like you know Pac-12 basketball games needs to really up their game

but this is what it's true that you were in the mix to play Chewbacca no I heard that Chewbacca is modeled after me I'm being serious I heard that you were in the running for that that you were being considered to play that role I'm being dead serious you're always serious that's one of your problems is that you don't have fun with your life but you're not answering that question No, George Lucas is as cool as they get, and I remember the night with George.

I mean, I don't want to focus on the audio here too much, but why is the rim miked more than the announcers? So this is the broadcast.

This is the broadcast. At first, I thought you were setting up like a courtside quick interviewer. No, these are the broadcasters. They're calling the game, and they have the shoes miked more than the voices. I like... listen i mean there's nothing almost there's almost no sound in life i enjoy more than the squeak of a basketball shoe on a court it takes me right back to my youth but we don't need it to be that loud exactly also i don't need to know that somebody won a jersey mike's gift card which i also know because i'm guessing that maybe they had the like ambient mics on and forgot they were on or had those things jacked way up like this is or somebody pulled this off of a feed like that

wasn't the main oh from the truck or something yeah because at one time i mean one time i recorded a whole fake radio show with tom wassell in the studios of like cairo and espn seattle uh we were making a pilot for something and then it turns out that like some switch was flipped and people who were tuning in just via like streaming audio to listen to a seahawks game heard our radio show but it wasn't very many people but like i this is the first i've ever heard this story this is wild i think you've just forgotten i think i've told it before but yeah we got some notes from people who are like well i think i got a note from a 10 saying hey you and lost will sound good together but i don't think i was supposed to hear that i was like okay holy smokes okay maybe i have heard

about it and forgotten but that's like that's pretty much our worst fear right yeah me like that we're broadcasting and not realizing it yeah and i do you know i think i had to take a mental

inventory like did we have long conversations with the mics open like well what are we going to do for this segment because again we were applying for a job together to be co-hosts and they wanted us to put together a proof of concept i guess did you already say that phrase today is that why it's front of mind for me i don't think so anyway i said planet fitness equals no judgment okay anyway um yeah so that was it so uh but there nothing i think i was on the edge of my seat for a little bit like will we hear from more people but i think we were like well we were doing a radio show so mostly what people would have heard was stuff that you know while it wasn't for the wider audience it wasn't inappropriate it was something we were you went on that journey

that I've been on so many times it starts with terror that people heard something in an unguarded moment and then it ends with depression that no one was listening right well in this case we could

a little feedback would have been all right Genevieve reminded me of a line from 30 Rock just recently, where I don't remember exactly what it is, but it's some sort of a hot mic moment, and Jenna Maroney is involved with it, and when she finds out, she says, I didn't say the N-word, did I? Then she said, not that I would.

You've got me nervous about this colonoscopy, Andrew. I'm listening to zero rap music for the week. Forget purging your body of all solid foods. I'm purging my mind of all objectionable language that i might even just hear no nothing where i there's a word just getting thrown into my subconscious that that i might that might rupture from my

subconscious thanks to the medicine here we go here's a little more kareem bill russell and me we were all up at in san francisco at a big fundraiser for the martin muther king memorial beautiful play by johnny right so since you've not answered the question i'm just gonna assume I'm just going to assume it's true because I auditioned for Chewbacca, and they said no.

How is Bill Russell the only person that doesn't know it's Chewbacca?

He keeps saying, wait, it's Bill Walton who's saying Chewbacca.

Bill Walton, sorry, did I say Bill Russell?

I think so, yeah. I don't, well, so far, I'm hearing this all for the first time, but he's having fun. He's having a go, right?

He's having a go a little bit, but I think he, I don't know, well, I'll play this part again. And he says he auditioned for it.

But earlier he said he didn't audition for it.

Earlier I think he said it wasn't based on him.

Oh, I guess. Can you play? Do you mind playing this from the top? I want to hear this sneak here somewhere.

I mean, if you want to hear about a Jimmy, if you want to hear about a Jersey Mike's gift card again, be my guest.

Is it true that you were in the mix to play Chewbacca? No, I heard that. Chewbacca is modeled after me. I'm being serious. I heard that you were in the running for that, that you were being considered to play that role. Chewbacca is modeled after me.

Wait, wait, hold on. Sorry, sorry. I couldn't hear you.

Sorry, so just to be clear, he just said, no, no, no, Chewbacca was modeled after me, he just said.

Right, but then later he's going to say he auditioned for it.

Exactly. So he just said, I heard you were in the mix to be Chewbacca, and he says, no, Chewbacca was based on me. And now later on in the tape, I think he's just sort of like, he's like a fun uncle who's sort of fibbing, and the story is changing a little bit as he tells him.

Okay, maybe. I don't know. I felt like when he said he auditioned for it, for some reason, maybe just because in my subconscious for years, it had never occurred to me how much Bill Walton looks like Chewbacca, that now I would believe that they brought him in to try out for the role. It's also, if you're going to be able to play a role as a seven foot tall person with no acting training, you could do worse than Chewbacca.

No, absolutely.

But yeah, I mean, like it would be achievable.

But just to keep the tape straight, he says, I heard you were in the mix. And he says, no, no.

no, no, Chewy Bacca was modeled after me. And now he's going to go on with this story, and it's going to shift a little bit. Which one do you believe, though?

You believe his initial no, no, no.

I think, I don't really believe anything. I think that he's being entertaining and fun and larger than life.

Okay, here we go. Whoops. Unpause. Let's do this.

That's one of your problems, is that you don't have fun with your life.

That's one of your problems, too, Angie. You don't have fun with your life.

No, I think that he's even kind of saying, hey, listen, I'm having fun here.

Uh-huh.

Okay. Answer the question.

No, George Lucas is as cool as they get, and I remember the night that George and Kareem and Bill Russell and me, we were all up in San Francisco at a big fundraiser for the Martin Luther King Memorial. Beautiful play by Kajani Rice.

So since you've not answered the question, I'm just going to assume it's true.

I auditioned for Chewie Baca, and they said, no, but we're going to model the character after you.

Oh, okay. You were in Ghostbusters, and people didn't know that. So, again, I think there's a great chance that this is a true story.

So, okay, okay, hearing that back, so he said, I wanted to audition, but they said, no, we're going to model him after you, which means he was.

I believe he says, I auditioned, and then they said no.

He does say I auditioned, yeah.

But also, he was in Ghostbusters? I didn't know that.

No, I didn't know that at all either. Maybe a quick cameo? I haven't seen it. I would assume so. Yeah, let me Google this. Bill Walton, Ghostbusters. Somebody must have isolated it for YouTube, I would guess.

Bill Walton was in the original Ghostbusters. This is according to Vice Magazine. Every time I see a story from Vice, this is a five-year-old story, but I'm always like, wow, okay, they're still doing stuff. I saw something from Vice on TikTok, and I was like, okay, the band plays on. We're still rearranging the deck chairs on that media Titanic. Anyway, from Vice Magazine You can't really call it a cameo But the man sure is in it Albeit the closing credits, but whatever Bill Walton is in Ghostbusters You can officially count at least two famous bills Credited in the original Ghostbusters movie Bill Murray, obviously And Bill Walton Everyone's favorite walking hippie dad joke

Known for

Let me credit Liam Daniel Pierce Here, writing for Vice Magazine Everyone's favorite walking hippie dad joke is known for his antics on tv uh rubbing dirt on himself shouting out the wu-tang clan telling boring stories about real estate moguls he once even took to reddit to talk about being milked whatever the hell that means anyway last night he was doing his usual comedy bit even if he knows he's hilarious with a perennial straight man dan pash when he brought up his appearance in the film pash however i might have called dan pash dave pash by the way was dubious of walton's claim so this is not the tape we just played this is presumably a different tape that was miked horribly where these same two guys are discussing bill walton's film career pash says he's seen the movie of 100 times and can't place him walton then dropped a clue about where he appears saying quote you haven't watched all the way till the end pash still can't believe also i'm it's curious that basketball announcer dan pash has seen ghostbusters hundreds of times yeah i've never seen any movie a hundred times and ghostbusters is an interesting one to see hundreds of times like i guess casablanca makes sense to me or i don't know a movie that's some somehow emotionally resonant in a way that you might watch it as sort of comfort food ghostbusters is an interesting one titanic i guess you might put this in the same category as

ghostbusters but by far the movie i've seen the most which i'm gonna guess at this point i've at least seen you know big chunks of it if not the full thing you know beginning to end but batman 1989 Batman I've probably seen that over a hundred times interesting your most viewed movie peaking out around a hundred and then there are movies that I've watched the beginning of a hundred

times like Chinatown yeah that is a strong opening so this is reading still from this Vice article they it started eating at Pash even more he just had to know who Walton played he He even asked him if he played Zool. And let's see. Somebody then on Twitter found the Bill Walton scene. Now, this is terrible radio, but I'm going to just play this, Andrew, live from the platform formerly known as Twitter and see what we see here. Okay. So it's the ending. Wow. It is. I'm rewinding this.

Is it like a millisecond?

It is the tiniest background shot of Bill Walton as there's like a press conference going on, I'm guessing, after the ghosts have been busted. And in the way, way, way, way background, you could see Bill Walton standing there. I mean, it is just the, it is, blink and you'll miss it doesn't even begin to describe. Oh, did you miss that phantasmal towering redhead lurking in the background? Here's a still in case you need it. And so then somebody actually did a still shot of it. You can just see a walking hippie dad joke. Bill Walton just standing there in the background of Ghostbusters.

I am looking up to see if Bill Walton has an IMDB page.

He does. And apparently he's listed on his IMDB page as appearing as himself in the movie Ghostbusters.

Really? He's known for Little Nicky? Is Little Nicky, did he do a voice? Is that the Adam Sandler movie? I'm trying to figure this out now. I see he did do some, yeah, he does a lot of, as you would guess with that voice, he's done a lot of voiceover, animation voice stuff. I'm looking here as an actor. Oh, man, does IMDb suck these days. Like, what are they doing? Well, you're not using a pro account, Andrew. That's your problem. For real, though, what are they doing? How have we seen, like, legacy websites like IMDb and Google that once were like the bedrock of quick information gathering. How is it that they had a bunch of people who were like, well, we still, we figured out how to make information accessible, but we all still need jobs. So let's mess everything back up again. Is it like you make something with the Etch-A-Sketch and you make it perfectly, but eventually you have to shake it all up again? Why did Google and IMDb become so bad?

Because of money. And I hate that answer because it feels like one of those just kind of Things that people say like wow, they're all crooks and it's like, okay But what do you mean by that specifically? Like I don't think that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a crook in the way that you know Donald Trump is a crook But I do think it's all money I think that this is my theory is that anytime you're using something that used to be pretty easy and functional and now It's less is because of some sort of profit motive. My guess with IMDB as I as I often harangue about on the show is it has something to do with trying to create either more advertorial money for them or more like premium services that you have to pay for so that you get the less annoying version or something I just I can't give you specifics but my general feeling is it has to do with money well

that bought me enough time to finally expand his acting credits which are you know actually quite a bit he's got 19 listed here including Ghostbusters 1984 That's his first credit, but it does list that he's uncredited in the film itself. Then he plays Bill Walton in Forget Paris.

Oh, that would make total sense because that's a movie about basketball. It is where Billy Crystal is a basketball ref and Celtic pride.

OK, or would it be Celtic pride?

I guess in that case, we're probably going Celtic.

That's what I'm guessing that that's a basketball movie. And that's why I said that the sixth man. He plays a character named Bill Walton. On the Jeff Foxworthy show, he actually plays a character named Lester Liggett. Lester Liggett. Clear that out of your mind before you go under as well, actually. The Sentinel, he plays Bill Walton. Pacific Blue, the TV series, he plays Bill Walton. He Got Game, another sports movie, he plays Bill Walton.

Oh, sure, Jesus Shuttlesworth. Yeah, that's some of Ray Allen's best acting work, and I would say only acting work.

I'm trying to figure out who, would you know? I'm now I'm now going in a different part of IMDb so everybody buy me time do you know the movie Little Nicky so if I gave you what here's what I know about Little Nicky I think Adam Sandler

is like is he demonically possessed I feel like the devil I feel like the cover of it is like Adam Sandler with his hair very greasy and slicked down over his forehead oh yeah he looks like kind

of a mopey guy and he's got a big coat on yeah yeah yeah he's almost got like an emo haircut But, yeah, so this came out in, I think, like 2000 or 2002. But, again, he plays Bill Walton, so I guess I don't need to look too deep into this. I'm sure he just plays a cameo as himself.

Well, when they mentioned Ghostbusters, just however briefly, at the end of that conversation between Dan Pash and Bill Walton, I was reminded of something that I just – this is such old news, but I just heard about it and thought it was kind of entertaining from the movie Ghostbusters, the original movie Ghostbusters. I feel like there's been, lately, a few different stories about just how unbuglievably, or even unbelievably, although I think unbuglievably is a more fun way to say it, how unbuglievably culturally significant Huey Lewis was in the 80s. I mean, it was Huey Lewis's world, and we just lived in it. Sports. i mean it was obviously they had a lot he and the news had a lot of hit songs but like you know back to the future like begged him to to uh you know do a song for their uh soundtrack and when they were editing ghostbusters they were using the song i want a new drug by huey lewis in the news for this i think it's kind of maybe like this big scene you know where the

Ghostbusters are running around and doing their thing, and they were just assuming they were going to get the song from Huey Lewis in the news. They were going to license it or whatever, and so they edited this particular scene to the rhythms of that song. And then they reached out to Huey Lewis or his people, and he was like, I can't do that. I'm contractually obligated to—I don't know if he was contractually obligated to Back to the Future or if—I don't know what the deal was, but basically Huey Lewis and his people were like, you can't use our song. I want a new drug for your movie. And so the story goes that what they did was they, they then reached out to some other people, including Ray Parker Jr. And said, we need a song that sounds exactly like this and you have 48 hours to write it. And I had never, it had never really occurred to me how similar I want a new drug and the Ghostbuster songs really are. I'm just grabbing this off of YouTube. This is I Want a New Drug versus Ghostbusters. I'm guessing... Oh, wow.

I thought you were going to line them up. Okay, here.

I don't think I have to. I think the internet has known about this for a long time. But let's just see. I'm playing this without previewing it, so that always ends poorly on this show. So this is definitely going to be Ghostbusters. Now we're shifting into I Want a New Drug.

They're like the exact same song. I know both of those songs. I would have never made that connection.

and apparently uh yui lewis's people immediately sued the producers of ghostbusters and settled out of court really so it was not even yeah i think that even i think even the ghostbusters people had they were probably so rich at that point from the success of the movie they didn't care but um that was just something that i was not aware of and had never really put together it also makes me feel a little sad for ray parker jr because i feel and in fact there wasn't there a great key in peel sketch where they're uh it might have been snl where they're basically like uh i think i want to say it's jordan peele pretending to be ray parker jr and he's rolling out new songs and they all just sound like the ghostbuster i don't i don't if i saw it i don't remember it and it's kind of like you know it's like that was what ray parker jr i mean i'm sure he made a lot of songs and made a lot of people happy but of course the ghostbuster song is what he's known for and it turns out that that was really just kind of like can you just do a sound alike of a of another you know song that we really want to be using the idea that that would be that would be your main kind of musical legacy you know i i feel i feel mildly mildly bummed on behalf of ray parker jr although i'm guessing he's made do you know that ray parker jr do you know

that ray parker jr was once very rude to being baxter's wife years and years ago when i believe she was a teenager i don't have the details of the story and i don't want to ruin it but being told it on his podcast cup of tea in a chat maybe like a year ago or less um but essentially because apparently like she if that song comes on donna will turn the radio off she has major resentment because she was working at like some sort of a um some sort of a vending situation i can't remember it i don't know if it was a hot dog stand or what it was and he was unbelievably rude to her to the degree that he might have thrown food or something oh my goodness i don't remember exactly the details of what the don't be mean to donna exactly and this is again years ago um but she holds a grudge and bean is you know kind of bean about it like i mean i don't know i like the song i can leave it on in the car and i think there's a little tension about him not being madder at ray parker being doing mean things being doing bean things being doing bean stuff let me play

you a little bit of this it was a key and peel sketch as you know we're the number one show to go to for playing other people's comedic work and then laughing at it. That's kind of our lane, but we like to branch out past just SNL. This is Ray Parker Jr. as played by Jordan Peele, talking about some of his other music.

Who you gonna call? Hi. I'm Ray Parker Jr., writer and performer of the Academy Award nominated hit single Ghostbusters. From the major motion picture, Ghostbusters. But that's just one song i've written so many other major motion picture theme songs and submitted them throughout the year now they're available and together for once especially by the way there's a little thing

on the screen ghostbusters not included and what we're seeing is one of those like time life you know kind of collection of cds ray parker jr's greatest hits and they're all spread out on this table you know all the other movie songs he's written compilation song

I did not see a Lawnmower Man reference coming on today's show. look like a deep impact i ain't afraid of no stroy deep impact i ain't afraid of no stroy

uh the last movie uh tidbit that i uh that i saw of course on the internet recently i don't really go in for not it's not that i don't go in for i just don't i don't spend a lot of time thinking about the expanded universe of like anything other than my own narcissism

It's just a punchline for me. I say that about, like, everybody now. My joke has become very tired. But whenever an actor has a role in two different movies that are very different, I'm always like, you know, it's the same universe.

Right. That being said, I did think it was a kind of compelling case that was laid out for Steve Buscemi's character in three different movies. in the movie con air in the uh movie the big lebowski and what is oh and the movie um uh what's the it's not little nicky but the other billy madison oh this is so funny because i have

something i want to tell you i am for some reason you know how sometimes you're distracted in new york because you're just watching the billboard play the same clips over and over and over i've been distracted for the past like 10 minutes because somehow in my bill walton googling i I ended up on the IMDb page for Mr. Deeds. I thought it'd be funny. Like, Adam Sandler's been in so many movies. I have no idea what any of them are about. Mr. Deeds is a remake. Oh, is it? Some old classic film? Well, anyway, I've just been... When you go to IMDb and you go on a movie page, at the top, they just scroll through. They just kind of loop all the trailers that were ever made. The TV cut, the theatrical release, all this stuff. And I've just been watching scene after scene after scene of Mr. Deeds over and over and over again, including at one point he's got a black foot that John Turturro is trying to hurt.

Some of John Turturro's finest work. You've seen this movie. I don't know. John Turturro is his butler. I don't know. Somehow he's rich in it. And again, it's a very, I don't remember seeing the original, but it's very weird to me that that's a movie they decided to remake with Adam Sandler. My guess is the original's got like, I don't know, Cary Grant or somebody in it.

It's got Winona Ryder in it.

This is the theory about Steve Buscemi, about Donnie. Just let me frame it this way. Donnie from The Big Lebowski, who we all love and who all feel kind of bad for, I think, because he's always getting shit upon by John Goodman's character, by Walter. So the idea is that in Billy Madison, I remember in Billy Madison, Billy Madison calls this guy that he kind of bullied in school and apologizes to him. That guy is Steve Buscemi. And what we, you know Steve Buscemi plays it off Like the way that it's shot, I don't need to explain the scene to people But I will, Steve Buscemi is kind of Playing it off like, oh wow, I didn't even remember that Thanks a lot man, well I appreciate it, okay They hang up and then you realize that Steve Buscemi Has a kill list Of all of these people that he's planning on killing And he takes Billy Madison off of it Because of the apology And so the theory is that character from Billy Madison, then Does, he goes through with the list And he ends up on con air

uh the con air the nicholas yeah he plays a psycho in both he plays a total psycho yeah

and one of the things i'd forgotten about that movie i believe i saw con air in a theater and i again i'm just i'm consistently shocked at the movies that i went and saw in my younger days i just must have been so much less going on it's fun to go to the movies i guess I just it it's just like I I'm trying to imagine a time where I was like you know what would be the thing to do tonight is go watch a Nicolas Cage is Sean Connery in that no I always mix up there's another that's the rock okay so what I didn't remember about the movie was Steve Buscemi's psychotic killer person escapes we think he has died but he hasn't we see him at a craps table at the end of the movie playing craps that's a big reveal in the film is that you know so the guy from billy madison did all the killing he's a psychopath he's on the airplane he's chained up or whatever the plane crashes i think is what happens or something he somehow gets off the plane we think well he's he's gone for but nope he's in vegas he's living it up and that's when he then moves into the universe of the big lebowski one of the things that they note is that

that Donnie's character is always wearing bowling shirts with someone else's name on them. Maybe the people he killed.

Oh, I thought it was just he doesn't ever want to use his real name.

Or a counter theory, he's under some sort of assumed identity maybe. Maybe these are all the different identities that he's adopted that the guy from Billy Madison and then Con Air and now Big Lebowski has, you know, he's sort of settled in the valley. Is that where that movie's set? That's California, right? I think so. Yeah. Get your gold brick and ass out of here. Well, what's the town? Is it Topanga somewhere where they want to get the gold brickers out of there?

Oh, I can't remember that. Anyway, one thing, though, kind of kind of related to this that I had forgotten is, you know, the character Jesus in that movie again, John Turturro. Right. I forgot they make a comment about him being a pedophile in that movie and I didn't know that that was definitive lore but did you know that there's a file do you know that there's like a sequel a follow-up movie called the Jesus roles that is about the Jesus character John Turturro and I think it I think it has to do with being on the lamb I don't know if it's a prequel I can't remember the details I tried watching it it's not I tried watching like I probably watched the first 45 minutes I don't remember much and I can't necessarily recommend it based on what I just told you. But I think that I had forgotten that that is canon in that movie, that he actually did time for sex crimes, which I did not. I thought that was just like the John Goodman character having sour grapes or something.

This is, yeah, I'm looking this up now. The Jesus Rolls is a 2019 American crime comedy written, directed, and starring John Turturro.

Oh, that's right. He directed it.

It doubles as a remake of the 1974 French film Going Places by Bertrand Blyer and as a spinoff to the 1998 cult film The Big Lebowski. I feel like I haven't even seen this movie. I didn't even know it existed until you told me about eight seconds ago. But that character fits in great in the overall universe of The Big Lebowski. But a whole movie about him is more than I think I would need. It's like it's like cumin. It's like any kind of a spice that's great in a dish, but you don't want to just eat a giant pile of it. I'm looking at you, Coriander.

All right, we got a lot of Blur's Days today,

starting with our friend Larry from the School of Visual Designs. Hey, Larry. Larry says, I'd like to send out a Blur's Day greeting to my very adult daughter, Lauren, who was born on Valentine's Day and keeps giving me the spiritual equivalent of a dozen roses and a box of chocolates every day of my life. She left Seattle years ago to live in Los Angeles. She's a big fan of Cats, the Seattle Seahawks, Taco Time, and most of the time, me. Happy Blur's Day, Lauren.

Boom. Roasted.

Aaron says, happy Blur's Day to Terry, a smart, funny, amazing person. You really are one of the best people. Happy birthday, my friend. Nice.

Holy shit, Snack.

Unrelated fact, my grandparents had a dog named Terry.

Oh, I know. Oh, Terry took the fall for a lot of things, I think, for flatulence that was not traced back to Terry.

Simmer down, Stu. All right. Jesse in Cincinnati says, could you please wish Maggie in Delaware a happy Blur's Day? Maggie is an awesome mom to the we want some cheese and crackers, kiddos. Oh, that's what that is. And Maggie is an all-around wonderful person. Happy Blur's Day, Maggie. Was that Bill? Was that Bill Walton?

No, that was Kevin Calabro.

We're doing great. Anne from Massachusetts wishes her sister and fellow 10, Kelly B. In San Diego, a happy Blur's Day. Hermano. Kelly is a smart, talented, and bossy in the best possible way. From puzzling to fixing broken garage doors in the middle of the night. It's always fun with Kelly B. Many happy returns on the day. Nice. Happy birthday, Kel.

What's the bloody birthday party?

Aaron in Olympia says, I'd like to wish my fives a happy birthday. Norris, who turned 10 yesterday, welcome to the double digits. Nice. Thank you for being such a...

As Jay would say, you've got flow.

Thank you for being such a wonderful human and making being your mom a joy. Did I hear the beginning of a Bob's Burger?

Golly. No, you heard. Let's play some goddamn cards. Didn't we just play that last week? Didn't we just have this conversation? I keep on thinking it's the boy from Bob's Burgers.

And it's ironic that it is somebody from that universe.

It is. Oh, that is true. Yeah.

It's H. Sean Benjamin in both cases.

Yeah, but I thought it was whatever. I thought it was Gene. You thought it was Eugene Merman. Thank you. And let's see here. Aaron also wants to wish a happy Blurzay to Lennox. I can't wait to celebrate your golden birthday. 12 years old on February 12th is something special. Thank you for always wearing your heart on your sleeve and being a great older brother. Happy Blurzy to Lennox and Norris. Nice. Sorry, Billy Joel. We did start the fire. I feel like 12 is a good year to have your golden birthday. Mons in Las Vegas says, My birthday is the same as Luke's mom and sister Hannah. Oh, now that's interesting. Please wish me a happy, happy birthday. Saludos. Hey. Happy Blurs Day months.

Majorly. Just one more birthday on that day for me to stress over. Yeah, right. Between Valentine's, my daughter's 30th, my mom's 70th, my sister's 40th, it's a miracle I'm even showing up to do these broadcasts. I've got so much birthday-related agita going on. And that's this week? No, it's all next week. Addie's is on the 17th. My mom's and Hannah's and that listener's is on the 24th. Valentine's remains on the 14th. Gotcha.

Well, Mom's got it in there early. Happy Blur's Day. Joe says, Happy Blur's Day to my wife, Missy. You're the coolest person I've ever met and the absolute best mom to our five, Rowan. Rowan. Yeah, Rowan. Believe it or not, you're a complete catch. Oh, that's cute. My wife. Just thought for a second it might be Rowan. Connor says, I'd like to wish my TBTL progenitor Derek, not Jarek, January Let me Let me just be clear here Connor is wishing a happy blurs day to Derek Little did he know that his suggestion For a podcast back in 2009 Would lead to 14 years Of TBTL small talk He's all grown up with a couple of kids now And I moved down to Vancouver, Washington But that doesn't mean I appreciate him Any less happy blurs day Derek from Connor Happy blurs day everybody

Cute. That's awesome.

Jokes are really difficult, I must say. I mean everybody who's having a Blur's Day.

Oh, I see. That was it?

That's it, my boy. Andrew, you slayed that. Well, I know that we're up against the clock here.

I know, but I'm saying you really hit that one out of the park.

Yeah, here we go, bud. This is how we do it.

That was well done, sir.

Look it up in the book.

One minute under the clock, too.

Oh, we are. Oh, you know what I forgot? No, no, no. Don't remember. wall clock that is a little bit set ahead so i think it's a little bit later than it is good

keep follow that impulse because that was that really worked out well for us and most critically my schedule so all right well happy blurs day to everybody this week and thank you all for listening is uh do tune in this week for the newsletter and the hey dummies question because it involves the thing i'm doing right now andrew oh okay which is talking over our ending music teeing it up so that we end up getting to it somewhere in the lyrics and also

So quick, if you seem like you're missing the newsletter, check your spam folder. Some weird stuff is going on with Squarespace that we are trying to fix, but it's probably in your spam folder.

All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. We will be back here tomorrow. More imaginary radio for you. It's a Friday show. Always fun. So please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

We'll see you next time. I'll do this. I'm going to cite this again. This is, let's see here, Thursday already, the 8th of February. Stand by. You okay, Marge? I muted you right as you were making a disturbing. Okay, you ready? Here we go.

Power out.