Muse

Oh, goody! Cucumber water!

Nope, this is fresh water from Oprah's estate in Maui with mushrooms from her private bog in the Pyrenees Mountains.

Oh my god, it tastes like candy.

You know what they say, a mushroom from Oprah's bog is better than anything from anywhere else.

Ugh, I didn't know that they said that. The only thing that would make this any better is, um, hot goss.

Very well. Our story begins when I ran into Robbie Williams, Heidi Klum, Heidi Klum, and the remaining members of Fifth Harmony at the Dolce & Gabbana Spring Show.

Hate him, loathe her over them, cancel it, tell me everything. TBTL! Let me give you a little motto I live my life by. You gotta hit it and quit it.

No ties, tangle free, nobody tells me what to do, I gotta go bang, bang, bang the drum. That's not a motto, that's just you saying a bunch of things.

Sometimes a little comic relief is the best way to deliver a serious message.

In 1971, Bill Greats invented Microsoft. Wouldn't it be cool if I could remember my dingus password from my email?

The story of this situation is, it's extremely personal. All right, let me talk to him. Hello, everyone. Welcome to a Thursday edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Oh, yeah. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. If you want to talk, I've got two ears, and they're tuned to the listening station. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is kind of a sort of a so-so day out there. We've had some rain this morning. Things have dried up a bit, but I don't think it's going to be so great. I have amazing news, though. This episode of the show is going to be so-so great. It's going to exceed all expectations that you might have had. for episode 4142. Let the fun begin. In a collector's series. We like to carefully document the air travel experience here on the show. Of course, we call those segments Sky Jinx. And... Sky Jinx. We have an update on the status of the overhead baggage compartments on your next flight. Is it time? as somebody in the Atlantic posited for airlines to just get rid of overhead baggage container thing. You gotta be kidding me. Uh, we will look into the latest on the science and geometry of transporting your stuff on the airplane. Also the other thing along with air travel that we talk about probably too much on the show are my complaints about customer service experiences, but I just had a very, very positive one. Literally as we were getting ready to do the show i got an email uh from a company that i was dealing with and i consider this a very good customer service experience so we'll talk about that too plus it's a thursday aka blurs day so we'll celebrate the blurs days in all of their form uh and we'll talk to this guy longest running cobro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships he's baby stepping he's doing the work he's a soulful rocker from new hampshire he's andrew walsh and he's joining

of me right now good morning my friend congratulations so you did find that tape of flow rider that i heard at the beginning of the show yes that was that was really good you isolated

the track it was it was i've spent most of yesterday trying to find just the as we used to say in the business a dry track of flow rider letting him talk to them how do i construct that

in the past tense about someone else he he whom flows yes rides yeah at them uh yeah no did you notice, though, when you listen back to the tape later, you sound more like Flo. I do that. I'm a chameleon. You sound very similar, actually. His voice very much like yours. I'm very much a chameleon

like that, where you know what happened, Andrew? Give someone a cough button. Oh, is that what's going on? Everything looks like a nail.

You're playing with your new toy?

It's the oddest thing. I've finally been in this setup now for months, but because of a few technical changes, I don't have a way to mute my microphone easily and effectively when I'm talking to you if I need to cough or clear my throat or something. And generally speaking, it's not an issue anyway. Like it might, maybe once in a blue moon, I feel like I'm having a coughing fit coming on or a sneezing fit even maybe. By the way, that's real tape of me sneezing this morning. I've been trying to, I've been having my cell phone right next to me on memo function to see if I can do a silent sneeze.

Per our conversation this week. You've been talking about it, nice.

So that's the best I've gotten so far, because the problem is, even if I'm, unless I induce the sneeze, which maybe is what I need to do, like sniff some black pepper or something. Yeah. But that's...

This is the best I could do. This was this morning.

So, yeah, there's not a lot. So the complaint that I had heard was you don't have to use your vocal cords to sneeze. Play that again.

Okay.

Yeah, there's not much vocal cord action going on there.

Well, that is me trying to quietly sneeze. That's as quiet as I can make it, I think.

Yeah, because you're usually a loud sneezer. Maybe we also need a control version of it as well. I know that I'm the one who brought up the topic, and I forgot that we're supposed to try to record ourselves sneezing. I don't think I've sneezed since we had that conversation. Maybe I'm cured.

I've only sneezed two times, and that was one of them. This is the second sneeze, right? So the first one.

The second sneeze theory.

Yeah, the first one. It was on a grassy knoll. The second sneezer. I had sneezed once as I was fumbling for my phone, but it was a two-parter, and this was the second. Oh, I see. That was the second one.

Gotcha, yeah, yeah.

But that was only two times I think I might have sneezed since we had the conversation. Back to the cough button, a couple of things on that. I bought this off of the internet, and they just delivered it this week, and I was all excited because it made me just feel like more of a real broadcast boy. Like if I were to go into some sort of need to clear my throat, et cetera, I would be able to do that. But when I was showing it off to you today, it turns out you can still kind of hear me. Just a little bit. A little bit, but still, I paid $50 for this device from the Rolls company. It's the second one of these I've purchased. It's just like a little blue box and has a button on it. But now I'm going to do this for the listeners. I'm going to actually mute my microphone and continue talking so that the listeners, those wearing headphones, those very close to their audio device, can probably still hear my voice, okay? So this is me talking in the unmuted form.

could you hear me when i was allegedly muting myself i can't i heard you say i should be muted but i'm still talking now i mean come on luke i am in one of the most soundproof saunas in a basement in seattle um with headphones on and listening very intently i don't think i'll bet you 90 hold on i want to get this right i'm gonna guess 98.5 percent of our audience could not hear that and have no idea what we're talking about right now well the other thing that's annoying

to me is that we you and i talked at some length before the show everything was working just fine and then the music starts and it's time for me to talk and i feel some sort of glottal rising Something that makes me feel like I've got to clear my throat Which is particularly painful For me this morning because As a concept, not physically Because I don't have any half and half In my coffee, remember yesterday's Tale of woe How I opened a brand new thing of half and half And it was all chunky Well I did not remember to get more half and half yesterday So today I'm having to just more or less Raw dog this coffee And it doesn't have Cream and things that are kind of dairy are what tend to set off my need to clear my throat so here i am looking at a a cup of coffee that does not have any half and half cream milk anything in it of all days this should be an uh you know smooth sailing for me and it's not and also my stinking cough button is only 90

percent of a cough but 98.5 i um just first of all cleared my throat i used my own cough button my own little mute button here to clear my throat because as you talk about needing to clear your throat we were actually this is i thought that was a real one well it was a real one i thought it was a live one time uh but uh we were talking about yawns being uh contagious in yesterday's show and i think previously to that too um i think clearing your throat can be contagious too yeah and and also not clearing your throat because i don't know if you're like this Like the hit song, Let Me Not Clear My Throat. That was what I contributed to hip-hop culture in the 90s. Turn Down Because I'm Tired is another Andrew Walsh classic. I mean, do you have any idea what hour it is? Right, exactly. Please be quiet. We have shared walls. I was going to say, have you ever listened to the radio? Especially as I get older, I feel like the clearing of my throat becomes more of a factor in my life. have you ever been listening to the radio and you can hear somebody just trying to power through it or maybe they don't even know and there's just like a little bit and you're just like dude clear your throat dude clear your throat and then you start clearing your throat to try to help the

person on the radio absolutely well first of all I listen to a lot of public radio where how do I say this in a way that doesn't sound like I'm being critical or insulting to our brethren

and our friends who work in public radio. It is a medium that is performative that seems to attract a lot of people who are not performative people, and I find that to be interesting. And by that I mean there are a lot of people, I listen all day long to a lot of people talking to microphones who seem only kind of minimally experienced with that, even though these are people I've listened to for a long time. Things such as clearly needing to clear your throat. Just turn the mic off, and then come right back on. See, and it's just as easy as that And so yes, I hear that a lot I am constantly, also I think the demo A lot of the people I listen to on the radio are my age We're all getting into that throat clearing phase of life The other one that has just absolutely been bothering me more as I age Is something that happens to people when they are being interviewed Or talking on the radio and they're very nervous Is their mouths tend to dry out and there is that sound kind of of a person who is talking but because they're probably feeling a bit nervous you can almost hear their tongue sticking to the inside of their mouth do you know the sound that i'm trying to describe i think so yeah it's i guess you could just say it's a very dry mouth but you can i i actually used to date someone a long time ago it was forget nails on a chalkboard it was it was the the sound that made them the most crazy in the world and i remember at the time being like i don't even really i don't really know what you're talking about but for some reason in the last year it has become a real kind of bug boo for me i don't know when i started saying bug boo instead of bugaboo but it makes me feel a little bit more

refined a little bit more european is this something you've made up oh other people

other people say it say bug and very and very strongly yeah i grew up saying bugaboo but i I feel like there is a certain there's there's a certain level of kind of intellectual who say, and this is a real bug boo for me.

Oh, I've never heard that. I don't want to get too far away from the public radio topic, though, because you open this Pandora's box. And so I want to talk about it a little bit. I heard several things today that I found somewhat remarkable, but I'll just mention one. I heard it like I heard it. I heard the the quintessential thing we make fun of public radio about. and I think it was A. Martinez too and I'm a fan of A. Martinez I'm calling out A here only because I'm a huge fan and so I don't have to worry but there are some people on the network that I'm less of a fan of and so I try not to you know I don't want to call anybody out by name

So what we can infer is anyone you don't roast you hate

Well I just tried Yeah exactly Every NPR every NPR on air staffer that I have never mentioned on this show I hate them Just hate them Netta Oops, I said it. No, you know we play that tape from Parks and Recreation making fun of public radio. There's a whole bunch of versions of it. But the one Leslie Knope, the character, mentions Batman, and then the host goes into this detail. I think I'm going to needle drop this. Let me see if I can. Oh, wait. We still have the music going? Oh, what happened there? It's the wrong thing. The host feels the need to explain who Batman is.

I'm sitting in for Nina Joplin, who is touring the country performing a spoken word opera about pear-shaped women. My guest today is city councilwoman Leslie Knope.

Derry, my team and I are trying to build a park, and we need input on the design from you, the citizens of Pawnee. So I guess I'm here to send out the bat signal.

A bat signal, for listeners who might not know, refers to the children's character, the Bat-Man, a strong gentleman who fights crime nocturnally.

That's correct.

Okay, I played too much of that. You know what I always have to say when we play any tape of that interaction? That is also the voice of Homer Simpson.

It's not leaking. It's overflowing.

Isn't that wild?

I forgot that. Dan Castellaneda. Oh, that's him, yeah. I don't feel like you say that too much. Well, I think it too much.

Anytime I see Dan Castellaneda, I don't know if I'm saying his last name correctly, but anytime I see him in a context that's not the voice of Homer Simpson, it's wondrous to me. It's just like somebody who has voiced a character that's loomed so large in kind of my brain and so many of the jokes that I like to tell and japes that I like to trade with Becca, also being the overly serious public radio host. I love it.

And also, I thought you were going to say what we always say, which is, it was amazing when I later, after hearing those bits on the TV show, I later found out that it was a direct imitation of Michael Silverblatt, a man who had become my public radio colleague at KCRW for a while. You know, I didn't realize that his show Bookworm ended in 20.

2022 luke did you know that bookworm is no is this what you're gonna say ended in violence ended in violence anyway uh okay too much distraction it wasn't quite as much of an explanation as that but i was listening to either morning edition or the morning edition like podcast thing this morning and um they were talking about the russian nukes in space story don't ask me to go too deep on that i was sort of half listening but you've seen that headline right i haven't but It's not. I wouldn't call it settling. Just go to sleep. Just just relax. But anyway, they were talking about that and they were doing a two way with a reporter who was covering. And I can't remember who it was, but it's somebody that you would know who covers that beat.

And he mentioned the Russian space nuke beat.

Yes, exactly. Right. But anyway, he mentioned that there's some program called Jetson, J-E-T-S-O-N. And, you know, it's an acronym. But he's and but the reporter who's doing the two way just sort of mentions quickly, like, you know, listeners of a certain certain generation will get that reference. And then they just move on and he moves on with ending his his, you know, response. And then a comes back in and says Jetsons for our younger listeners was a cartoon that aired in the 1970s or something like that. And then just moved on. And I was just like, dude, the reporter got it. Like he said, certain people will get this. Certain people won't move on. And I know what happened, like a producer talked into A's ear and said, tell him what the Jetsons are. I'm just like, you don't have to do that. The Batman, the Jetsons were a space-age family who lived in the cartoon universe of Hanna-Barbera.

I mean, I guess, but also I feel like, I mean, yes, I'm with you a thousand percent. Because just generally speaking, my thoughts on contextualizing stuff when on the radio is, If you know you know And if you don't know Your life will continue Generally speaking That being said I have also I shudder to think about how long ago The Jetsons was It's kind of like yesterday You and I were talking about Some I forget even who we were talking Some musicians And I said this is like arguing about A beef between Buddy Holly and Chuck Berry I'm trying to think The Jetsons would have been in the 1970s 60s I mean 80 Years ago

62 to 63 Wow that's a short run

So that's 60 plus

Oh then it was revived and produced From 85 to 87 That was practically yesterday dude

That's brand new

Are you kidding me The talking heads were just

their peak so i i'm i'm with you and and the needing to give context particularly considering who generally speaking the audience of morning edition is you probably don't need to add that and you're 100 right a producer who was trying to demonstrate their value i mean by by finding something that needed fixing got in the ear and said like tell them who the jetsons are and then you just kind of do it reflexively um that was unnecessary i'm also troubled by how long ago the Jetsons originally came out because it's probably coming up on 70 years now that's fair

um I want to I want to uh do a put it on put on the poll Guillermo can you start familiar can you start a sentence by saying I agree with you a thousand percent but um that's a uh that's a

fair question listeners please get at us hey uh yeah email us andrew at tbtl.net and let us know what you think, or go on the Facebook page. Speaking of email correspondences, correspondencies, speaking of emailing with people, I just want to say, for all the belly aching I do on this show about when I feel like I'm getting done dirty by some retail company or somebody, I order so many things through the mail now, because I guess we all do. It is so hard to find, I realize how privileged this is going to sound as I say it, but it is so hard to find a good entry rug in 2024 andrew i know i don't know why this is such a thing but it's you kind of have two different styles of entry rug you either have something that's very very utilitarian or by that i mean like the kind of thing where when people come into your house you would like them to step on this thing first so that the all the water and mud on their shoes is at least a little bit mitigated i'm not talking about an area rug not like something that you might put in the middle of the room under a dining room table or something i'm talking about whatever the thing is that you step on as you step into the house if it's just a regular rug it's going to get destroyed really fast but i also don't want to have some like something that feels like you've just stepped into a subway sandwich shop you know what i mean it's either way too industrial or it's it's it's not up to the task because it's actually

not quite industrial enough or or durable enough does this what i'm saying make any sense oh yeah

actually i mean i was teasing at first when you said it's hard to find an entry rug i mean i always call and i know that this is a misnomer i didn't know what they were called i've always just called them uh doormats but it's not really a doormat because like the doormat i think goes on the outside in my mind yeah exactly but i mean you want to talk about yeah you want to talk about just kind of kicking the can down the road like that's something that i'm sort of looking for too because we have we have a bunch of these like really heavy duty like you know outdoor style doormats you know just generic ones they don't say hello or anything but they're pretty innocuous and they're outside a couple of our doors but then in our front door we just bought another one and as a temporary measure just put that we have one on the inside and one on the outside and that's not a great look i mean again it's pretty innocuous looking so you probably wouldn't notice but like you say it's like you just stepped into into a subway and you know subway sandwich shop or something and so i want to get a nicer looking one now veeves did i can put you in touch with veeves she i mean i'm sure you're i'm sure you don't need veeves for this but um she found us a nice little kind of little designy thing for inside of our side door in the laundry room um which i like a great deal it's a half moon shape or you know half a circle or whatever it's got you know like and then half of half of the half circle is orange and the other side has some stripes on it it's like it's just kind of like a little a little touch of you can look at this and appreciate it but it's not over the top or anything it doesn't have spongebob on it or anything that's for the front door um but i guess you did mention durability because i will say this thing when it gets dirty i throw it in the wash and i noticed that it's already starting to like i have to be very careful with it now it's not super rugged so i maybe that's what you're

trying to balance here too yeah i'm trying to find something that i'm not going to be nervous To step on because when I say people coming In the house I mean me I'm pretty much The only one out here And you can get some At Costco so my dad has Left me gifted me is that the term A number of these they're actually like The perfect size they are rubber On the bottom so they don't slide around And they're the exact right amount of Ruggedness but I hate the pattern Because my dad as I've Established on this show is A very practical person who does not get hung up On like every every area rug or entry rug that he steps on does not have to somehow make his life okay in that moment by its by the pattern it doesn't have to tell the story of his life and his taste what story is your outfit telling today and what story are you telling with it like he just it's just he doesn't that's not how his brain works and i'm jealous of a brain like that because mine is like well every day i'm going to open this door and i'm going to step on this entry mat or rug and it's going to be like just this very bland Costco vibe like yeah I mean what sort of day am I going to have if that's the beginning of my day so of course now I it's I just and I keep ordering things online and they show up and they're like the wrong like I ordered some things that looked very promising on Amazon they got here they were more like a bath mat I mean they didn't say bath mat they were they fit all of this is the problem with our online or I'll just speak for myself

Sorry, I'm watching Seinfeld. Go ahead. No, it's so funny. I was searching my text history to show you the actual floor mat that we have or the little doorway one. And I just found it from a text message Genevieve sent me like a year ago or whatever. And I clicked on the link. It's from Amazon. And the first photo is somebody stepping out of the bath onto this thing. As you said, it's more like a bath mat. I saw that I just described what I thought was an entry rug is actually a bath mat. It works for us, though. I like it.

But so, yeah, these things showed up and they were not the right. It just felt like they were going to deteriorate really, really fast. So I did now what is probably the most common American consumer kind of activity, which is put them back in the packaging and drove to a UPS store where I could mail them back for free. I don't even want to think about where those bath mat slash entry rugs went I doubt they went back into a warehouse where we boxed up and were now mailed to someone else I have a feeling, even though I never even stepped on them I have a feeling that those things unfortunately have now been cast into the liminal space of Luke's massive carbon footprint, but anyway, back to the problem with the online ordering is you just kind of don't know what you're getting until it gets there, despite whatever the photo looks like, no matter how much they try to show you the schematic of all these things so anyway I have now ordered from this kind of I don't know if it's fancy or not but like a place that is kind of stylish their name I'll just give their name out it's Port Plus Hall which is I think their main thing is like entry rugs and runners and things like that so Port P-O-R-T-E plus anytime you get the plus sign in the name you know you're really farting through silk so Port Plus Hall. So to be honest,

I've ordered some other stuff from them that I didn't like Did that stop me from ordering again? No, the other ones that I ordered from them were Alleged to be entry like area rugs But they were too thin And now I just have them, I don't know what to do with them But they were I didn't even feel like sending them back, they were very cheap So anyway, just give them to me, they're probably better than anything I have here, I will bring them by Actually you know what, I'm going to be at your house tomorrow I'm going to be at your house tomorrow, I'll bring them To your house, so I All of this is to say I decided to buy this other entry rug that looked promising from them, which I did. But then as I was checking out, I've already bought stuff from them, right? I've already used my email account to get the whatever 15% off thingy. And I didn't realize that was on offer again. And I would have set up a burner account or something. I would have done something to try to get this because this was a couple hundred bucks, you know, and then shipping. And so you knock 15% off of that. It's this kind of considerable amount of money. So I just take a I throw a Hail Mary This is already now processed I'm also buying it through Instagram Which is an added layer of complexity Like not on purpose I didn't get up in the morning and go I really want to buy something through Instagram What I did was I got up that morning With a hole in my soul And while scrolling Instagram Got caught up in one of the ads So I shoot off this email to support At Port Plus Hall And I said let's see if I can get back to the bottom I basically told them that I said hey I forgot to add the 15% off code and then I included it like the person didn't know what it was which is 15 off mats all caps can I have that deducted from the price please and I was emailing from an email account that is already on file for them as having an account who the person who used the discount now they probably price in having to give this 15% to most people. I'm, I'm hoping that it's going to be kind of a, a, um, they're just going to go, yeah, sure. Whatever. Like we'd rather give you the 15% than explain to you that you've already set up one account through one of your email addresses. And therefore you have, we don't, we're not going to give you another one. Um, and then I get an email almost right back and I'm, I'm starting to read it and I'm getting annoyed because you know, I've been burned before by chatting with bots i get hi luke thanks for reaching out though i'm sorry to hear the 15 discount was missed on your order it looks like you placed the order via facebook meta instagram but okay it's all the same universe and unfortunately the platform doesn't allow us to issue a partial discount i'm like you are you kidding me port plus hall how like they're setting me up to tell me that you're not going to give me this 15 off not to worry though plot twist we can issue the refund via paypal would you mind sending over your paypal name so that we can refund you thanks again throw some throw some cash your way yeah from annie at team port plus hall and i was like okay

cool that's a good outcome like what and what a creative solution like instead of being like we don't have the mechanism to refund you the money through the thing sorry sol here's here's 15 off your next order it's like hey let me just paypal you this money okay cool so then i send back my paypal name i will send back my name i go it's it's luke burbank on paypal thanks and then i get a response a little bit later hi luke upon trying to issue your partial refund we noticed there are quite a few luke burbanks in paypal could you please confirm the email address associated with your paypal account thanks nice signed elma of team port and hall so like first of all they were like yeah we'll just send you the money back via paypal then i uh sent them my name then they actually went in and looked it up and they noticed there was like a few different people i probably i have multiple accounts or there's a few other people in the country that have my name so then they were like okay uh what's your email address i send them back the email address associated with my paypal account and then i just get this email back hey thanks so much uh we issued the refund your paypal account you should be all set now please feel free to reach out with any other questions best elma team port and hall that's how you do it that is great that's a human being or maybe two human beings being helpful like the port plus hall has not farmed this out yet to a large language model they have not yet farmed it completely out to an ai that was because you probably almost could at this point right like the request a comes in and you give response be like this was going in and noticing that there's multiple Luke Burbanks in PayPal that involves I think that you could almost automate that but it was good it was a human being because they're like well which one is it okay what's the and then like the sorting out of this the figuring out of this was something that needed the human touch and they did it I think I haven't checked my account but it's just like this was a very nice throwback experience to a simpler time did you say annie you're okay you're

okay Annie um that was a bad joke and also you haven't mentioned Annie in like five minutes in the story but I just what what do you got for Elma I know that's the problem then you introduced Elma tickle me Elma no no no backing away backing away backing away from that Elma you've tickled me with this yes level of customer service I enjoy uh good stories about good customer service and I like to celebrate them when I have them as well I told you I called because I was a little little peeve that they charged me for the city charged me for a christmas tree pickup um and it was only it was like 7.99 like i can you know again not to brag i'm not throwing seven dollar bills out the window but i was just kind of like i was a little annoyed by it you are as the police

closing on you and your counterfeiting ring your only mistake how did they get me counterfeiting

seven dollar bills is this abraham simpson on a seven dollar bill what in the world uh but anyway so uh and when i called about that the the woman on the other end was so nice we ended up having this really fun conversation about the best way to get rid of christmas trees and why she's now uh switched to artificial christmas trees because she doesn't want to deal with it or whatever and we're like just having a a gay old time which um i i i like to highlight those stories too i don't want this just to be a show where we grump us about things all the time having said that i have to contrast the story you just had that you just told and the experience that you just had with what happened to me was it no it's two days ago i think um i had a couple of somewhat technical related things i wanted to tackle one should have been very easy it should have been giving a company my money so i could purchase their services for tbtl recording you know what i'm talking about luke i'm not going to name the company um but it's a company that a lot of people use in our industry and um we finally decided we're going to switch over to this and it's not cheap um and we're like okay let's do this let's go from our free service which only serves us so well and let's do what everybody else is doing and buy this other service and so I go to buy it and for some reason they have my email address saved in the system from some previous project some trial we had done years ago and I'm like okay oh it looks like I have access to it they're like no no you have to upgrade your trial is ended I'm like okay good well then I'll I'll I'll upgrade here I'll buy it then I hit buy it's like no you can't there's an error contact customer support I'm like oh god okay and I got to a couple of different places where it said contact customer support so i used the little pop-up window the little chat function that a lot of websites and companies have now and i'm pretty sure those are ai run like they definitely begin with this very very basic ai you know you're not talking to a human it'll say like okay we'll connect you with someone but first tell us what you need help with and they give you several options right and i'm like i think this is a billing thing right so billing oh okay here are several articles about how billing works I'm like yeah that doesn't help did this help I hit no and it's like oh okay well then what else can we help you with and I'm like well billing and then I write I need to talk to an agent and it was like it was like basically typing to a phone tree that was built to not connect me with anybody and it kept saying okay we're gonna find somebody for you but first answer this question it was a loop Luke where I started typing in all caps I felt like i was going out of my mind i it just kept asking you know that's my old i know i got an email from somebody saying that they tried that on a phone tree recently um and like kind of swore at one of the robots and then it quickly connected them to a human um but i don't know if that works in the chat function also like this is a professional endeavor like i don't want right so no that's a

good point but it was a maddening loop and it was just like oh this is how people go crazy like you just keep asking me the same question over and over and over again and you keep saying oh yeah i'm gonna help you with that but first just answer me one more question like i already answered this question here it is oh you want this article this article will help you and i'm just like this is not and i almost i almost like emailed you and john and said we're going somewhere else like this is wow eventually i don't know exactly oh you know what happened i finally like closed the goddamn window i moved on to other things and then i got an email in my inbox that suddenly said you have some messages waiting for you from Joe. This is what it says. And I open it up and I see that like after I had closed out the window, some customer service person named Joe actually did log in and say, hey, thanks for waiting. What can I help you with? Are you still there? Well, it looks like you're gone. So I'm going to close this ticket now. I'm like, are you shitting me? Like they send me an email later with a transcript of the guy trying to reach out to me, but I'd already closed that tab. And so I rush back over. I reopen the program or the website or whatever. I type, are you still there? Like, I thought I was just, like, screaming into a void. Are you there, Joe? It's me, Margaret. And believe it or not, Joe saw it. I was about a minute late. And I don't even, I will give the company credit for this. The tab was completely closed. I reopened it, but I was logged in as myself, so it remembered the conversation. And Joe said, like, I could feel, like, just the, I could just smell Joe's cologne. He was no longer there, right? Just, like, the essence of Joe. And I just screamed to the universe, Joe, I missed you. And Joe's like, nope, I'm still here. What can I help you with? And then everything did end up getting resolved. But I honestly, I have never been so put off by a by a company that I'm trying to engage with for basically the first.

Yeah, that we're trying to give our money to.

Yeah, I'm literally just saying I'm just trying to give you my money.

Yeah, I I the again, it might be the aging process. It might be the era we live in. But I, I feel like, first of all, my, my public out outbreak, what's the word I'm looking for? My public meltdowns have gone down greatly as I've gotten older. But my feeling that I could have a public breakdown at any moment has gone up. Like, you know what I mean? Like when I was younger and had higher T, it was more likely that I would like, you know, get into it with a bartender or somebody on the street or whatever. But now I just walk around with a simmering rage.

That's an impotent. Boil over.

but it's the most it's the it's i'm jack lemon in the out-of-towners now i'm just going around with my pad of paper writing down everyone who i'm putting on my list i'm gonna talk to your manager because there are so many moments now in modern life that render one feeling extremely impotent when you're just like trying to get through to some giant organization uh company and then you're just getting that targus targus thing i mean it is a special kind of maddening

It was maddening. You know, I hate to admit it when Luke is right about something, right? But I got to give him credit. He was right about at least one thing. He has been telling me for quite some time to check out the podcast, Everything is Alive. It's hosted by his friend, Ian Chilog. And Ian interviews inanimate objects, if you can imagine that, like a box of tissues or a bath towel. And Everything is Alive has a new series out now called The Animals, in which Ian interviews animals, like a pink flamingo I listened to that one yesterday it was so good a butterfly we get to hear from the perspective of a kangaroo and this podcast features a lot of great comedians like our friend Harry Kondabolu or Vinnie Thomas Connor Ratcliffe a whole bunch I was especially drawn to the production style if I can geek out for just a second I the production of this podcast just reminds me of some of my favorite podcasts from back in the day just like really deftly done but with a very light touch, and it feels very intimate for ostensibly a comedy show. And I noticed that Hilary Frank was credited in the credits, one of my favorite producers of all time. So you've got to check it out. I'm giving this my full endorsement, even if it does make Luke look right. Check it out. Everything is Alive and The Animals, a new series from Everything is Alive. You can find it on your podcast app.

hello and welcome to top story uh top story something that came through my uh email feed from the atlantic it's a piece written by ian bogost and i have to say i have never met ian but this person thinks exactly the way i do andrew i don't know if you had a chance to um scan the article or not the piece but basically what happens okay this guy gets on a plane and i can tell and this is why i think he and i are cut from the same cloth because it's clear that he gets on the plane and he's just annoyed at the situation at like the fact that you know people there's not enough overhead luggage room that people are trying to squeeze by each other because they've they're at the back of the plane but their bag's too big now they got to get to the front of the plane he just looks around and he's just like this is chaos and this is probably the airline's fault because they're probably overbooking the luggage the overhead luggage in the way they overbooked the actual seats on the plane you know part of how the airline makes money is by by selling more tickets on a flight than they actually have seats and assuming some people will cancel or change their flight or not show up and then the problem is when everyone shows up you've got an issue and he thought they're probably doing that in the overhead too and so he's sitting there on the plane on the flight like looking around doing the calculation of how many seats are there on this plane and how much overhead space is there and then he gets done with the math and he's like well actually there's probably enough on this particular plane like there's close to enough like didn't he actually get up and say

didn't he say he gets up and counts all the seats and then counts all the bins and starts doing the

math yeah yeah and and he's a little i love he writes all this in the piece too this is why i found it very relatable he go he kind of gets it like he's annoyed he developed he he knee jerks a theory these mother truckers are they're they're intentionally

not giving enough headroom or, you know, overhead space for what they know will be the luggage. This is all, you know, and then he counts it and he goes, well, actually, math mostly checks out. But, of course, the problem is that there has been kind of, there's been a slight, not even slight, there's been, the bins were built and designed at some point, and then after the building and designing of the overhead bins, airlines have figured out ways to add more seats onto the plane. So you do have more people on these planes where the overhead space is maybe not keeping up with demand. You also have, I thought this was interesting, the design of, because these are very popular now, you see them everywhere, these very, very hard-sided suitcases. Everyone is walking around now with these rolling suitcases that look like they have Marcellus Wallace's soul in them. like uh gone are the day of the softer kind of you know fabric nylon ballistic nylon uh roller bags what's really in style are these like titanium colored super duper hardcore hard shelled rolling bags which don't give very much so when you put them up in the overhead it's you can't you just can't really kind of finesse things as much because everything is

very rigid now yeah um also i mean it's worth pointing out this article i had a little bit of trouble like kind of well i feel like the article had trouble kind of staying on point a little bit it seemed like it was kind of slip sliding around everywhere as far as its thesis is concerned he does say that like yes i had this experience on the plane where i counted up this you know the baggage area spaces and the seats and it worked out but then he kind of backtracks on that and says but also i later learned that i was on a plane that actually had plenty of space But not every plane is actually like that. And some planes have do actually have big storage issues when you compare it to how many seats are on the plane.

What were you going to say? Well, yeah, that I guess you're you're sort of you are right. But also, I think his the sense I got from his point was he he went in thinking when he got mad, he was thinking, well, there's no way that there's enough overhead space on this flight for these people. And then when he counted it up, it was closer than he was expected, which kind of took the air out of his argument. But yeah, he was on a particular model of airplane that has one of these, the overhead space is larger or has more capacity than a lot of other flights. So those other flights might literally have a capacity issue where there's actually not enough room overhead. He also talks about how on the flight that he was on, the instruction from the flight crew was, put your luggage in, put your suitcases in like books. and then a woman just looked confused and was like like a book which i have to be honest with you i think that would also confuse me i don't know why i've read books i even read a book this week but the idea of someone saying the the flight crew saying you have to put your your carry-on bag or your your rolling suitcase in the overhead like a book would you instinctively know what that

meant maybe i mean when i read it in the piece i already knew what it meant because i'd seen it communicated to me in various ways you're supposed to put it on its side and it is sort of counter counterintuitive like and i look at this on planes every time i'm on there because i love judging other people's behavior in public and like you're it says very specifically put your hard you know your rolly bags as we call them in our house like your hard case rolly bags on its side and so yeah like so picture like it's like the spine of the book is facing out right what i thought was interesting is he sees one um you know one customer look confused by this one air traveler They're confused by this. So doesn't he ask a flight attendant? Yeah. And the flight attendant's like, yeah, well, it is confusing because sometimes I just lay books on my bookshelf. Yeah, exactly.

Flight attendant is not mad at the customer because the flight attendant is like, yeah, you know, sometimes, I mean, we're assuming a certain way. In fact, I have these bookshelves that I put up in my house, and most of the books on them are lying flat. One, because I didn't have any bookends, and two, because I don't know, I was trying to be fun and flirty or something. So, yeah, the flight attendant's like shrugging, kind of like, yeah, I don't know. You know, you could always just lay a book flat. Yeah. So when you say like a book, it's like, oh, like the way I would put a book on a shelf versus these other things. So the writer is also talking to some people that work in the kind of design element of all of this. And I will say that the headline is a little bit, and even the way that I promoted it, is a little clickbaity. It's a little misleading because there's not really, it doesn't sound like a concerted movement to eliminate overhead space. but when the reporter is talking to a couple of people that work in this part of the industry it sounds like the advice from both of them is well just check your bags just bring bring less luggage onto the plane and then you just won't have to have all the anxiety around is there going to be overhead space and then one of them kind of says well maybe we should even just get rid of them all together like wouldn't it just be kind of one

wonderful to get on the plane with just like a light jacket and a book and if you want to hang your coat or your hat you can like and all that overhead space on the plane is empty um maybe that's the answer because instead of because an analogy that the writer uses that i think is actually kind of compelling is it's like freeway lanes you know famously when there's bad traffic people will often say we need to add more lanes and what you know traffic planners will tell you is when you add more lanes people just use the roads more and then you just end up with six lanes that are all blocked up instead of four lanes that are all blocked up like adding capacity it does not necessarily that it's not just like well we have so many lanes there's no more traffic it's just people start behaving differently towards the thing and if you just keep growing the size of the overhead compartment people will not just have enough room they'll just start bringing bigger and more stuff is the thought so there's kind of this idea of well what if we just what do they call that kind of street there's no way we're going to know either of us will know this up top of our head there's a german name for that kind of street where they just basically like block it off and you walk on it like it's not for cars anymore autobahn no i don't know i

know what you're talking about i know that like the opposite that would be so deadly that's where i walk i don't know when when in autobahn um no i i know what you're talking about like um yeah just kind of making them walkable cities and get right and this idea that like instead of

instead of always trying to make everything like okay we have traffic on this street in seattle so let's just figure out how to like get rid of the sidewalks and make more streets so more cars can be on it we go the total opposite direction which is no cars at all on the street and look at how like how nice it is look how walkable it is look at how people you know i was in leavenworth a few months ago and i was doing that little tv story about that town and it was kind of interesting because the main kind of street front of this little city of leavenworth little town of leavenworth is you can no longer drive on it and i was talking to one of the folks that's on the town council and he said you know we did this i think they did it during the pandemic maybe um or there was some exogenous event that like led them to doing this and he said before we did this everyone who owns little stores and restaurants and shops would have said this is financial suicide if people can't drive down the street and park in front of our stores no one will buy anything and then because of i want to say it was covid they blocked things off and everyone's business went up because it was just nicer to walk down there and you had to find parking somewhere else and i don't think leavenworth has a great parking solution yet but this idea that like sometimes the answer to something that's a hassle is to do something that seems like it would make it worse but changes the behavior and so this guy's talking about well what if we just had something before you get on the plane where you drop all of your carry-on luggage and basically maybe it goes under the plane or somewhere else like if we just got rid of this notion of rolling a bag or you know the stress of bringing something onto the plane that we're like worried starting an hour before the flight we're terrified that there's not going to be room for us to put this thing on the flight what if we just got rid of all of that potential capacity so we didn't even have to worry about it because it was not even an option. Yeah. I want to come back to the story

here because I still take some issue with it or not the story, but the piece that you're talking about. But I want to give another example. I mean, maybe it's included sort of in that example you gave, but not just closing down streets, but also like a counterintuitive argument that I believe in as somebody who believes in both like density and public transportation and more walkable cities is have less parking in a city like when you're developing the war on cars i know right sorry dory um but um i was trying to think of a joke there that i won't make uh out of respect for those who have passed but um i uh i think that i i do believe that if you are you know uh regulating developers maybe saying less parking and making less parking available is actually good for the city overall because it kind of makes driving a pain in the ass and then you're kind of pushing people towards other types of transportation like rental bikes and buses and stuff like that and as somebody who like this is the first now that we have this house in north seattle um we have parking here but like parking has always been an issue for me everywhere i've always lived so in that way i sort of feel like i sort of walked the walk in that like you know in generally advocating for this thing but also it being a huge pain in the ass like i used to have to like park across the street on my you know two-lane one-way road unload my groceries in a couple of like and carry them in a couple of trips upstairs then come back to my car and then find parking on the backs the side streets or whatever it was a pain in the ass but i truly did believe like yeah but it's good like we don't want we don't want to turn the city into a parking lot and so that everybody's in their cars all the time. Going back to this article, though, again, I just felt like it was sort of slipping around. And maybe it was a little bit more of a... meditation and i i'm i think that's what i liked about it it just felt like it felt like the the random thoughts that would shoot through my head as i was steaming on a plane you know as opposed to like a super duper consistent cogent um thesis but i feel like a bit he mentions one thing that

he just sort of glances on once earlier on but then as he sort of kind of gets to the bottom and starts wrapping up and saying you know maybe we do go back to the old days where the quote unquote overhead storage was just like a coat hook or something and it's where else are you gonna put your fedora i know i always think of the same thing first of all a lot has changed with airline travel since then but also like he mentions early on that like well one of the reasons that people try to bring so much onto the plane now is because the airlines have started charging us to check our bags but then doesn't bring that up back at the end when people are like well maybe we should all just check our bags it's like okay well then if we're all checking our bags are the airlines making that free again like right because that's that's the driver and so if Do you want to kind of get mad at the airlines and say, oh, they didn't they didn't allow for enough storage here? Oh, I've counted. And actually, the airlines are fine on that. Well, don't let them off the hook on the charging for every goddamn thing, like the basic. Don't charge me to separate me from my bag and put it up beneath the plane, which is less palatable. And you're charging me for it like they have to get rid of that first.

The also the problem that I see with eliminating the overhead spaces, there's not any that I know of, maybe somebody will invent it. There's not any other great use for that space. Like, it's not like, okay, fine, we'll eliminate all the overhead baggage, but then you'll have a hammock you can sleep in up there or something like it just that is sort of dead space. Like, it's I don't care about looking. I don't care about headroom when I'm getting out of my seat on the airplane enough to give up. You know what I mean? you'd be giving up the overhead space in some way you'd be being very kind of zen and releasing desire on ever storing any luggage but what do you gain for that in terms of useful space on the airplane yeah you know that what would happen is they would eliminate it for people and then slowly add it back in for amazon packages yeah that was a separate freight bill like it's you know to be like it's not there's nothing else i can think of other than maybe putting a fresco up there that would really like make what are you going to do with that part of the plane at this

point put a big fat batman sculpture and hang oh okay now that i could get into um yeah well what they would start doing is not for amazon they'd start charging for that they'd start saying okay we're just gonna put in a little bit of overhead space and if you pay a little bit i mean that's

kind of i think there might even be some airlines i i don't want to name names but i think there is an airline that does that because it's an airline my mom tends to fly on and it's one of i mean you can imagine there's a list of about three airlines that come to mind for this and i remember my mom taking a flight back to philly on this airline and it's talking about like what she was bringing on the plane because literally it had to be i think it's extra if you wanted to put something in the overhead like she was like i'm just bringing this little purse because i can hold this on my lap during the flight and i'm like you're gonna be in philly for two weeks what are you even thinking like and it's like middle seat seattle to austin to detroit to philadelphia with a small pocketbook for two weeks that's how suzy rolls well that's why i thought it was

interesting near the end of this piece when the writer is sort of like interviewing the designers and the most interesting thing i thought was like well what if we just like stop thinking about it the way we think about it like somebody threw out there like kind of a wild idea that's hard to imagine but like you bring your you bring your um you know wheelie bag on the plane but somehow you store it below like what if there were some openings below instead of above like that would sort of solve your dead space issue luke you know if everything was a little bit higher but you're actually storing it below the floor but you still have control over it as the traveler you have access to it during the flight if need be but i mean the thing is like i think we're learning that um you know making airplanes is hard uh we got you know parts of airplanes whiffing out the window like you know like it would be very very hard for an industry like the airline industry for the airbuses and boeings to just like totally reinvent like that is such a huge turn to make you know what i mean to like redesign a plane um that much is what i'm guessing or it would be like a it would take 50 years to even see the first prototype yeah i don't think that's why i said

it's a little clickbaity and i even was a little a little clickbaity by saying you know is it time to get rid of i don't think there's any there's any there's no realistic conversation about eliminating that stuff i will and so you're i don't think it's going anywhere and even if they were going to do that let's start with keeping the doors on the plane yeah and then let's work

on the overhead and also but i mean honestly the solution is stop charging us to check bags i mean that will change. behavior but the article actually quoted how much the airline industry takes in from that right didn't do you happen to remember that it's like some huge you know i don't remember that it's kind of like well they're not going to be and you know again the the the writer sort of says so they're not going to be given given that up anytime no of course not yeah no it's i mean

the term too that's used in the article a couple of times is i want to say it's like it's not decoupling but it's sort of like that the term for when your luggage when your checked luggage was no longer part of your ticket price and it's a very like it's a very kind of sterile word which just means them charging us more you know what I mean like I feel like it's unbundling maybe unbundling is the word

something like that I feel like

and like you know what I mean it's like debundling here it is debundling Yeah, we can call it de-bundling, but, like, what we're really seeing is just the airlines figuring out, much like in Vegas, they figured out that they don't have to charge five cents for a steak dinner. People will come there, and they will gamble their faces off, and they will also pay $200 for a steak dinner. Because, why? Because I guess they want to. And the airlines figured out like, oh, if we debundle this, i.e., if we just say, yeah, you used to get this for free and you don't get it for free anymore, people will just pay for it because they have no choice. We have the airplanes.

They think of it as debundling almost the way that networks or when we talk about cable or cutting the cord and going to streaming only, it's kind of like, oh, I don't want to pay this huge monthly bill for all of the cable anymore. So let's sort of de-bundle that. I'll sign up for Hulu and this and that and that. And then in a certain way, that's de-bundling, but it ends up being both a pain in the ass and almost as expensive or potentially almost as expensive. The global airline industry now makes almost $30 billion a year from baggage fees with rising fuel costs and increasing salaries for pilots. Airlines aren't likely to give up that income anytime soon. Of course not. Yeah.

Well, although it's a famously self-sufficient industry, Andrew, as I think you know. Yeah, exactly. The airline industry. Like, when they're in trouble, they're in front of Congress with their hats out. But when they're getting their $30 billion on checked bags, then, you know, they ain't giving that back. I will say that I have, I think I mentioned this a while ago, and this is, you know, this is the privilege of traveling as much as I do, And therefore, having, you know, those little perks, like I am able to check a bag for free. And I've lived many of my years of life, a staunch anti bag checker, like I was just like, you'd be crazy to check your bag. And I had a, I had an epiphany, you know, a few, I don't know, maybe a few months ago, maybe a year ago, where I was just like, first of all, they don't lose bags as much as they used to. That's actually pretty rare, particularly if you're on a flight. It's not even the loss of the bag. What usually happens is if you're on some flight where you're connecting and something gets funky, your bags might not make the flight. But this idea of like the airline lost our bags and we just – the bags cannot be located in time or space. That's kind of a thing of the past just because everything is super scanned and there's a million barcodes on everything and stuff like that. So the idea of like your stuff getting lost, lost is actually, it's pretty unlikely that would happen. And, you know, I've, what I have found is in checking my bag, most of the time, the, the fact that my anxiety level goes down about if I'm going to be able to put it in the overhead, the fact that I have to wait 15 or 20 minutes after my flight. And in fact, if I'm lucky and they have enough ground crew, which is not a given, sometimes if you have a long walk to the baggage carousel, you might be getting there around the same time the luggage does. I have very much become a convert to checking bags. I'm a big bag checkerer.

But you're dismissing the fee situation here.

I'm saying I have the good fortune of not having to pay.

Yeah. Okay. You did. Oh, sorry. I kind of blanked on that caveat. Yeah. Because of your status, you don't have to pay. Yeah. So I could see that, yeah, because I used to be very reluctant to do the gate check thing. Of course, you know, if everything is filled up and you are one of the last people to board or whatever, one of the later people to board, they'll say, sorry, you have to gate check your bag. And I used to really resent that, but at least they're not charging you for that. Like, you didn't opt into that. So it's free, but it used to irritate me because then I'd have to go to the carousel, which I still don't love going to the carousel, but I've, like you, I've calmed down on that a bit. But when we talk about this as a global issue, as something like that, as airline travelers and the industry has to look at, we have to look at, like, what happens for most of the people on that plane, which is you're getting railed.

Well, two, a little, okay, a couple of things. Make sure, because we use the term gate check. You've got to use that advisedly because I ran into the wrong side of this. technically speaking, gate check means that your bag will be on the jetway when you get off the plane. And that bit me in the backside in Chicago because that was what I had done. And then I didn't realize that it was there and I left and I went through security and I ended up just in O'Hare for like three hours waiting for someone to wheel my luggage from back where the airplane was because it wasn't going on the carousel. It wasn't part of that whole thing. so gate checking if you can legit get a gate check from them and you remember that's what happened that's a pretty sweet deal because what that one is is your luggage goes off the plane when you're getting on and then when you get off the plane it's the first thing they give you don't even have to go to the carousel if it has like that orange tag on it now the other thing i would

say a pro tip is wait hold on one second though i even though you had that experience i and i know you travel more so i want to be careful as i as i challenge this here but i'm looking it up and i'm on travel and leisure i mean i do think that in your particular case there yes you were supposed to pick it up like you know i'm kind of on the tarmac or or at the gate and i've i've done that before too but i do believe that the term gate checking refers to them checking your bag at the gate as you take off where you're supposed to pick it up whether it's at the carousel or someplace more convenient i don't think affects the language around gate checking well

Well, I would just say probably it's used loosely and generally as you're going to check it at the gate. Oh, we're going to gate check that for you. And you're totally right. Ninety nine percent of the when they do that announcement, like we are out of overhead space. So please, you know, check your thing here and you'll be at the carousel. That's generally the way it goes. I think that, again, just Alaska Airlines, which is when I fly a lot, when the agent says to me, we're going to gate check this for you. My experience with that is it gets an orange tag and it's coming back to you at the gate as opposed to the carousel. But I think I'm sure that that term just means, generally speaking, we're going to check it. We're checking it here instead of checking it back when you got to the airport.

If we trust travel and leisure, I can confirm that. It says, in most cases, gate check bags will be sent to the baggage claim along with all the paid check luggage, meaning you'll have to say goodbye to that speedy exit at your destination. If you're in a commuter or smaller aircraft, sometimes you'll be able to pick up at the at the jet bridge.

The other thing I was going to say, though, and this is a major pro tip, which is if you don't want to pay. Now, I can't speak to other airlines because I don't fly on them very much. But my experience has been regardless of whatever my little airline status was, like back when I would fly any old airline, just whatever they were putting me on. my experience is that most of the time because the overhead situation is so fakakta now let's just say you have a couple of bags that you don't want to pay $25 a bag to check it but you also don't really want to try to put it in the overhead or maybe it won't even fit in the overhead if you go to the gate with your bag because they don't check your bag for its size at the TSA at that conveyor belt thing they do not go hey that looks like a bag that's not going to go in the overhead like that's not their job right they don't have any interest in that they will not stop you you could have a steamer trunk like your george bailey from it's a wonderful life and they're they don't care like as long as it fits through the you know x-ray device so what you can do at least what i have done many times is you go through with your suitcase and then you get to the gate and then you say to the nice gate agent politely can i gate check i think this might be a little bit too big for the thing and my experience is that they're so relieved that someone's volunteering for this like somebody's like they're not having to wrestle it away from you that they're just like yeah absolutely i've never had anyone any gate agent be like well that's going to be 25 i think it's one of the un kind of untalked about undiscovered things of air travel is you can get a suitcase of just about any size to the entry point of the airplane And then if at that point you turn it over to them and go, can I just like check this here? They almost always say yes. And they don't even think to charge you. They're just happy to have one less thing to deal with.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that that is something that Genevieve's dad told her early on. And I think that was that's something that she often will do as well. Like if you want to check it, but you don't want to pay for it, just some, you know, just get that thing to the gate. And then you can even just play dumb, just be like, you just want to be polite. Like, hey, what do you think the size of this? This is OK. Like, do you think this will fit? And we'll be like, you know what? Let's be safe. Let's just, let's check that.

Thank you.

All right, Luke, we have five Blur's Days to share today, but we only have time. Lucky number five.

Lucky number cinco.

We only have time for four, though. So which one should I gate check? God, I love the drama. I know. Only four can stay.

This is one of the problems. The Blur's Days, you know, some people love them. Some people don't love them. I think the issue is there hasn't been any way to vote someone off the island.

Yeah, no drama. There's no drama. And now we're adding some drama. We'll see. Is it Catherine from Buckner, Missouri that will bump? No, I'll read this one. I want to wish myself an excellent Blur's Day. I am recovering from an intense ankle injury and subsequent surgery, so my world is a bit off-kilter right now. Nonetheless, I am pressing forward into a new year and searching for new, exciting things for year number 37. Yay me! Hey. Hey, happy Blur's Day, Catherine. Hope that ankle heals up soon. Yeah.

Oh, hey, y'all said my name.

Really kind of underscores my argument for not doing things. The less you do, the less injuries you'll encounter. Of course, my cowboy in my cowboy game, sometimes he gets hurt in the video game.

What's your cowboy game again?

Well, I call it Horse Commander 3.

What's the Horse Commander doing it again?

You know, he's a horse. You know, he's a cowboy. He's often forced to commit crimes that are morally against his nature. It's a complicated scenario. Yeah, it is. Liz and Bobbo say to Justin, I hope you feel loved and celebrated. We are so excited for another year of adventure with you. Happy birthday.

Cute.

Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. tricia in bellingham says wishing my youngest five august a happy first birthday handsome young stranger he's already starting to figure uh he's already starting to figure life stuff out like locomotion babbling eating bananas and dancing to the tbtl intro music or

really any described most of the skills that we are called upon to demonstrate hosting the show

Exactly. What a year it's been. Your dad, big sister, big brother, and I are so lucky to get to watch you grow. We love you, Goober. Cute, cute. I feel cute today. Look at my outfit. Avery says, happy 46th Blur's Day to me. I love the TENS community. They have been so supportive of me this year, and they always make me laugh over on my face, your face, Instant Face. I'm hoping there will be an Atlantan meetup sometime in the near future. You face.

Who are you facing?

Well, that was four.

Wow. Sorry.

Sorry, numero cinco. Sorry, Jennifer. I will not read this. I'd like to send a happy Valentine's Blursday shout out to my new friend and studio mate, Gretchen, who I just found out is also a 10. Now, I have more to read here. But this always astounds me because we always forget that we have people who actually listen to the show. But, you know, we hear stories of, you know, long time listeners eventually converting their friends over to be listeners as well. But when two people meet and they both listen to this podcast, I feel like that's a special kind of special.

Yeah, it's statistically improbable to say the least.

Anyway, Jennifer is new friends with Gretchen and a studio mate with Gretchen. And Gretchen is like the coolest person I've ever met, says Jennifer. And I'm excited for our future to talk in drops and throw our phones together. Nice. Have a great. No. No phone phone. This party is going to be off the hook. Have a good day, sweeties. What you do is so important. Thank you. Yeah. All right.

I always like a Blur's Day session when I feel better about myself afterwards.

That's my hope Exactly, everybody

Okay, I guess that's going to do it For today's episode Thanks for listening everyone Maybe I'll see some of y'all down at Livewire tonight Portland, Oregon It's going to be fun, Moshe Kasher there Sloan Crosley Music from Glitter Fox It's going to be a night And then While the rest of the world Is just rubbing the sleep out of its eyes Andrew, I will be Me and my steamer trunk that I have gate-checked will be flying towards you. Oh, that's right. I'll be doing the show from your house tomorrow.

Yeah, you're flying. Yeah. I am. That's interesting. Exciting. All right. Yeah, so you know what we're going to do? I hope it's okay to say this, and I assume you're on board with this. I have a bunch of packages people have been sending in, and we haven't had a chance to open them in a while, because I like to do it when we're in the same place. So maybe we can do a what in the...

Box tomorrow.

Absolutely. That'd be great.

Is that T-Pain? That's Flo Rida. Is that Flo Rida?

That is Flo, yeah. All right. Thanks, everyone. We'll see you tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. For you, in the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

See you later, suckers. I'm taking myself on a hot air balloon ride. Power out.