Muse

Poke your eye, pull your hair, you forgot what clothes to wear. What the hell? You're not wearing yellow and blue on Leap Day.

So what? Leap Day's not a thing?

Leap Day William, Leap Day William, bursting from the sea. Will he bring his bucket of sweets for mom and pop and me?

What the crap is going on in here?

Why, Leap Day William is visiting.

Leap Day William?

Miss Lemon, did you not grow up with Leap Day William? He lives in the Mariana Trench. he emerges every four years to trade children's tears for candy what no but whitehaven was founded

by the amish and we really only celebrated their holidays after high school i went on rumspringa it was crazy i totally snuck into the witches of eastwick but where were you when we did this four years ago certainly not on a michael's crafts crafting cruise tbtl

I don't know a lot about business, but he did an internet, and now the computers like him, and Wall Street is Google.

What's up? I'm Kirk Steele. I'm 18. I'm from Orlando, Florida. My favorite movie is Garden State. Are you ready to explore the infinite abyss?

This is what happens when an inside joke gets into the water supply.

Stay away from wine. Wine is crying juice.

Do you have any types of food for dogs who are afraid of spiders?

You're my man. I just love everything about you, period.

Hey, can we get back to the funny?

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Gotta have that root beer. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill Broadcast Center, perched high above the mighty columbia where it is just absolutely miserable weather today didn't know you like to get wet though i mean rain and wind and even some little bit of light snow this morning i will reiterate what the nice person in the audio drop from yesterday said didn't the beaver say it was spring didn't the beaver say it was spring everyone well It soon will be at least not February any longer. It will be, in fact, March, because today is Leap Day.

This is special. This is special.

And we have arrived at episode 4152 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. There was a Willy Wonka extravaganza in Scotland that people were very excited about.

Because I've got a golden ticket.

And then a bunch of people showed up, and, well, Scotland has its own fire festival now. It was literally a major disaster. We'll talk about that. Speaking of children, and adults, and just people who are alive persons on the planet, today is Thursday, a.k.a. the Blur's Day show. We'll do the Blur's Day messages, and we'll talk to this guy. Longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Oh, la, la. He is Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Does my lack of eye contact as we record this show using video technology, do you find that off-putting? Because I need to get the blurs days done. And so I want you to know that if I'm over here looking at a different computer and not looking you directly in the eye, steel-eyed, I am listening, I am engaging. But you're going to see what it sort of looks like when I don't have a camera on me.

Well, I didn't have the screen up that allows me to see you.

I told on myself.

You really did. I would have probably not even realized it because, I mean, I know we're going on and on about it, but this is the natural, this is the way of things on TBTL. Some very minute thing changes and then we spend a good month obsessing over it. And then we get over it and we get on to other minute things to obsess over. But like we are now recording the show on a video file so that, you know, we can eventually use this stuff as other content. And it means you and I are in constant visual communication. And I'm still trying to figure out my relationship with that and trying to get over a question of what is and is not flattering, et cetera. And the other thing that I'm realizing is part of why I moved out here to the middle of nowhere and converted this garage that I'm in into a podcasting studio was literally so I could stare past the laptop into the middle distance. Yeah, right. like look at a look at the mighty columbia river watch the boats going up and down like i it's well documented on the program that like looking out at something that is visually calming to me is very important it's it's a big it's a big thing for me probably bigger than it is for most normal people most people can just sit somewhere and

do their job i have to be staring at something inspirational and so this whole thing was created so that i'm never looking at the camera i mean that's the that's the that's that's why i'm here if i was going to be staring at this green light and you andrew i'm getting chills he's looking right at me everybody i'm staring at his soul and it's honestly troubling um you know what i mean though like if i were to be staring at you in this camera andrew uh the whole show it would literally defeat the purpose of where I'm doing the show from, which the whole idea was, I'd stand here, I would walk around, I would spin my basketball sometimes. Well, just spin your basketball, that's

what I'm saying. And also, when you're looking over your computer screen there, it does not look unprofessional. Again, the listener, I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you. No, no, no. It looks like you're being thoughtful as you're looking. First of all, okay, a few things here. Listeners are probably like...

What are the chances that the coffee is going to get very spilled by me spinning a basketball? basketball like mere inches from my twin peaks coffee mug um okay so one thing that i do need

to acknowledge here is the listeners might be irritated not that we're talking about so much video but that so far we haven't released any and we're i think we even uh maybe have said this on the show before i'm not sure but like i think we just we're still playing around with this technology and we want to make sure once we start sharing the video we're not going to be super precious about it all the time but for our first foray out i think we're waiting for some good

moment i'm waiting to find an angle where i have less of a double chin on this video so in a couple

of years we'll start releasing the video um after we go on our diets no um but uh so that that's one thing so if we're frustrating the listeners at all it might be because we keep talking about it but not nobody can actually see what we're talking about but i will say this like i don't think we need to maintain direct eye contact the whole time i i'm fine with you doing whatever you want over there i just sort of felt bad because i felt like today is like kind of the first day where you're going to see me sort of actively typing if you even have that screen open i do now it doesn't mean that i'm not listening to you or whatever and in fact let me pitch it this way luke i think you should be impressed by my ability to multitask yes exactly all right well can you

both get the blurs days together and maybe help me with a musical mystery maybe i had a moment this morning uh so what happens uh is i will where when i get up i start listening to oregon Public Broadcasting, I listen to Morning Edition, and that's at 6 a.m., but then at 8 a.m., it rolls over to the exact same program I've already heard. So I'm looking for something else to occupy my mind, and usually that's when I shift into what I consider to be very inoffensive, like dad jazz. So I have a couple of different Pandora stations. Yes, I'm still using Pandora.

Literally, that's what my dad uses, too.

oh i know i just yeah i've gotten i got so many pandora stations saved that i was like i'm not kidding me i'm not parting with these i'm not switching over to spotify i'm sorry that i don't

have any i don't know how to dial it up oh this might have been for a satellite radio but for the longest time my dad had a sticky note taped to his computer monitor that just said soft rock is pretty good as a reminder that he liked the soft rock station on one of these on one of these

services and i always found that so charming please get a photograph of that oh it's gone

now but i think the reason i remember it is because i took a photo of it this was like 10

years ago that could be tbtl merch can you find that picture i feel like that would be i'd wear that t-shirt yeah let me see if i can find that flicker i'll send it to you so i try to find a kind of a i will listen to either a um sometimes i'll listen to a classical music station it'll either be i really like i go in for the baroque classics i'll go get some vivaldi going yeah Yeah, that's nice. Can't you go wrong with that? If I'm feeling more, I don't know, more experimental, I might go Villalobos. Anyway, I'll either go classical music or I'll go, I can't even call it jazz, but it'll be like Oscar Peterson trio. That's jazz. I guess, but it's no money jungle. No, but Oscar Peterson is jazz. Okay. So I also like Marian McPartland now, actually, who my dad turned me on to. And she's a pianist No longer alive, rest in power The funny story, funny? Is that the way to say it? The interesting story about Mary Ann McPartland was She of course hosted a public radio show Public radio music show for many years That I never listened to at the time Because I didn't live in a place that played it But it's so good My dad has downloaded onto his Zune Thousands of hours So much there He doesn't really have a Zune

I just wanted it to be true.

He has downloaded, I'm sure he has bit torrented hours and hours and hours of Marianne McPartland's jazz piano show where she would just have somebody come by, usually like a Stefan Grappelli type.

I don't know who that is, I don't think.

He is a kind of jazz guitarist that my dad really loves. Okay.

And these conversations are so great, actually. I really like the show, and sometimes he'll play it when we're working on the house. But anyway, so I put on this Marianne McPartland Pandora station this morning, and I'm working, and I'm listening to it, and I hear this song, and I immediately think, oh, this is her cover of a different song that I can't quite place. But the song is called Twilight World by Marianne McPartland. I'll play you a little bit of it. This is not the part yet that kind of stimulated my mind of just, there's like three little notes in this song that it's this part. Here we go. Coming up.

All right, it's taking longer than I thought, but anyway.

I'm actually going to like this now.

Here we go, this is the part.

So there is a song by like a Dionne Warwick era singer that's like, it's like, I'm gonna knock on your door. And I was like, is that song called I'm Gonna Knock on Your Door? And then, no, I found a rockabilly song from the 50s of a guy who's going to come over and knock on someone's door and have a hootenanny. It's definitely not the song I was thinking of. Slightly different vibe? Majorly different vibe. But it's going to come back up again in a minute. But there is a song out there that, again, I don't think it's Dionne Warwick, but it's somebody that's in the general Dionne Warwick vibe. And it's something like, I'm going, and I don't, the lyrics are clearly not, I'm going to knock on your door.

I was going to say, so you, so you're not locked in on those lyrics. That's how you remember them, but chances are.

But the tune of it is, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Why did I pick a, a key that I can't sing?

That'd be most keys. I'm up here. I'm up here.

Me, me, my, mo, moo. Me, me, my, mo, moo. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. I mean, what if we just listen to every D.N. Warwick song ever? I don't... Let's see if we get back to it. Here we go. It's working its way back to it here.

What's the name of this song?

This song is called Twilight World. And I believe, someone will correct me on this, but it looks like it might be an original Marion McPartland.

Okay, I was going to say, this isn't, I mean, lots of times, these jazz folks will jazz up a popular song. That's exactly what I thought

was happening and I was like oh I love her cover of this other song that I definitely know and I was like but let me now figure out what the original is so I can go also enjoy that. That was the journey I was trying to go on this morning. And so

you've already gone on that journey you know that this is not Twilight World by Swing Out Sister. No but I did watch

that video and then I spent a lot of time on the Wikipedia page of the British pop band Swing Out Sister, whose big song was Break out Don't stop to ask, and now you've found a way to make it last Do you remember that song? You've got to find a way, say what you wanna say and break out I feel like they were sort of the British version of the Manhattan Transfers Really? They're kind of jazzy, poppy but that song Break Out made its way over to the States I knew about that song, but again

I know the name is Swing Out Sister, but that song that as you sang it didn't strike and i listened to the swing out sister version of

twilight world i watched the video the gal has a very angular cleopatra haircut in the video she's dancing on a stage yeah i know it was a heady time for us and the members of swing out sister but no it's not that song either andrew this this then took over my morning i went from being highly productive from six to eight to minimally productive from eight until even by

the way it's arguable if i'm even being productive right now because i can't you know i can't help you off the top of my dome like everything that you've presented to me doesn't because i have to rely on the internet all i'm going to do if i keep trying here is basically step in your footprints in the snow where you've already traveled on this journey you know what i mean i walked so you could

run right after your song you're standing in the footprints of a giant right yeah so anyway yes so

So I don't think I can, basically what I'm saying is I don't think I can Google my way out of this. Let me play this one more time.

Okay. I'm seeing if we get one more. And by the way, the notes are different. So I also, there's a point where the Marian McPartland song.

So the words are different. And the notes are different. But other than that, it's other. Other than that, it's eerily similar. Other than the notes being different and it not having any words.

The instrumentation.

Here we go. We just got there. Hold on. We'll back this up. Not yet. Hold on. We may not even get it. Oh, she does that weird jazzy thing at the end here. She gets real, she's just going ham on the keys, old Marianne.

It's good music to do the Blurs days, too.

I know. I actually wondered that when I was loading this in, I was like, are we going to actually find ourselves in a moment where we realize this whole show should be done over light piano jazz? Yeah, right. Here we go, here we go.

I want to knock on your door, walk on your floor.

Also not a lyric. You're just making that up now. I am making that up, too, yeah. That might have been from the Rockabilly song. I'm not sure. They mentioned something about the being a...

Oh, I saw it of, like, was it, like, Holly Hedges, Buddy Hedges or something like that?

Yeah, I mentioned something about a possum in a pot. You can play that. Can you find that? If you put on, if you put, I'm going to knock on your door song, you'll just get, like, a YouTube video of this 1950s dude. Can you play that from where you are? It's a very different energy than what we're hearing right now.

Yeah, there's a whole bunch. This is the era of music where there's a bunch of people who've uploaded, like, this is not that version, but, like, people just, like, filming their record player spinning. Do you ever, like, find yourself on that version of YouTube where it's, like, 45 on a turntable and you're actually listening to the clicks and pops? Here it is. No, let's not. Eddie Hodges. Yes, that's our guy. This is it. This is it.

I want to knock on your door. Bring on your bell. Oh, I don't hate this as much as I thought.

No, it's actually not a bad song. But you don't like the movie Say Anything, Andrew.

I don't like the movie Say Anything.

I've never seen it. This is a deep lack of consent going on here. This sounds stalkery.

I wasn't paying that much attention to the lyrics because I thought of something I did the other day that I'm embarrassed to bring up for some reason. Now I need to ask myself, why is this embarrassing? I'm also looking for the song, but I have been-

Can I just, while you're composing that thought, can I just say one thing? If you know that song I was trying to sing, can you please tell me? Hive Mind of TBTL10's Luke at tbtl.net because it's going to drive me a bit batty. Thank you. I think this is easier than the last time I had one of these issues where I was playing a section of a song that reminded me of another instrumental section of a song, and that song was Wet and Rusted by the band Manamana, I think. So thank you to people who ever solved that. But anyway, sorry, what you were saying.

Manamana.

I tried to do the...

Manamana. That did not come out of my mouth right. Did you hear that? That was like going to bounce a basketball that's not filled with air. What the hell just came out of my mouth? Talk about embarrassing. Now, I've been going through phases of listening to some jazz records on my new record player, which I've really been enjoying. And I mentioned that to you. In fact, I've been neglecting that part of my entertainment recently as I've gone back into my podcast habits. But anyway, I have this one record that Genevieve got at a White Elephant exchange at the Eagles this holiday. That's I think I told you about this maybe off air. It's like great guitarists of jazz or something. It's a compilation. And usually I don't go in for a compilation.

Ron Grappelli's on there. What's that?

Django Reinhardt on there? No, it's not. It's not like gypsy jazz like that. It's like it's more like kind of bop stuff. And I'm not even a big fan usually of like the guitar as a soloist in jazz. I'm not against it, but it's not the stuff I'm usually drawn to. I'm more drawn towards horns or whatever. But I put it on and I really liked it. And this is the one that I don't think we talked about this on the air, but I had texted you when you were in Germany. like check out this guy Herb Ellis on the way back it could be good airplane music for you and then I listened to the full record of his and it was like I was like don't listen to that you'll be jangling out of your brain somewhere over in Munich

of that communication was you gotta check this out and then before I could check it out maybe I was in flight or it had to do with being on the other side of the globe but then it was you really gotta check this out too like whatever you do don't check this out

I want you to have some like I want my future recommendations to hold some water with you and I was like just so what happened was I had heard one song by him off of this compilation then I went I found his whole record that that song came off of and I sent it to you the whole record on Spotify or something and then I realized So it's really just this one song that I would be recommending for you, not the whole record. Not that it's bad. It's just like not it's just not what I was recommending. Right. So anyway, all of that is to say, I think that was Herb Ellis. And then one of the songs might even been the one I wanted you to hear was a song called East of the Sun, his version of East of the Sun. And I'm like pretty I'm like woefully ignorant of a lot of these like, you know, American standards and classics.

I've never heard of a song called East of the Sun, by the way.

Well, that is one thing about jazz. That's a huge missing link for me. So many of these songs that I might hear any of these musicians do, I don't have the backstory for it knowing that Ella Fitzgerald did that. These songs, they almost always pass through Frank Sinatra and Ella Fitzgerald before they get to or maybe after they got to the coal trains or what have you. And so I did something. I was listening to this Herb Ellis song, East of the Sun, and I liked it. And I did one of those things where I actually listened to it a couple of times in a row while I'm playing darts. I like it. I'm like, yeah, but I should like kind of like what are the other versions of this song? I don't know why this struck me. And what I ended up doing was going on Spotify and creating. And maybe I'll just walk you through this a little bit. Unfortunately, I don't think the Herb Ellis version is on Spotify. That's where I should start this. But maybe let's start with Lester Young. Here's East of the Sun. This is a jazz version. I've got about a playlist here of about probably 20 different versions of this song. And I just loaded them all up, and I just listened to it. This same song.

You know what's funny? First of all, I love this song. I hear this so often on my Pandora stations. I've never known I didn't know what the name of it was

And so this is Lester Young So that's the closest I'm going to get to The Herb Ellis that sent me on this journey But then I was like, I want to play a few of these That's really good There's another thing that I want to point out here That I thought was interesting Here's the Ella Fitzgerald version

East of the sun And west of the moon We'll build a dream house

What a great line

of love, dear.

Look at this. I left my door open today. I never do this in my studio because Genevieve is working from work today. And who comes in here but my old, formerly sickly cat, Professor Bananas, a very rare visit from Bananas who's hopping around.

That means one more week of winter.

It certainly does. By the way, the past two days, She's been, like, almost fully, I mean, no, like, fully healthy. The only reason I say almost is I'm scared of jinxing it, sort of, but she's really back to her old self, and even more so. She never visits me in here. Here is one thing I want to say about this song. Makes me so happy for you guys. Oh, I'm so happy. She was sleeping on her blanket before. I was just, like, so filled with joy to see my two cats on the same floor of the house sleeping in their individual chairs. Could you, though?

It filled me with joy. Could you contain your joy dough?

I couldn't contain my joy dough. So here is one thing that I thought was interesting, And then I'll get out of this Because I feel like I've taken us somewhere uninteresting

No I'm interested because I didn't I've never heard that song with lyrics I've only heard instrumental versions And I am a big Ella Fitzgerald fan And I will now be listening to that Because I think that is East of the sun West of the moon I mean come on that's a great line

Oh shit now the young cats And I really gotta start closing my door apparently Because these two are gonna cause trouble from the magic hour to the tragic hour very very quickly here's what I wanted to play for you though so and I kind of this journey that I took this journey that I'm now trying to take you and the listeners on reminded me of like kind of some history that I think I only sort of knew and it relates to the godfather of all things so one of the versions of this song that I have is by Tommy Dorsey and another song that I have or another version I have is by Frank Sinatra and the Tommy Dorsey version has Sinatra on it and it's such an interesting slight because that's the and I'd forgotten about this was the Tommy Dorsey orchestra like did they back Sinatra a lot basically yeah but it was kind of the whoa did I lose you nope sorry I'm still here I lost my cat's on the board this is all right and it's bananas to the good one um no I think it was kind of the other way around I think and we probably have people who know their musical history better than me but Tommy it was Tommy Dorsey's band and And Sinatra was just like the music, like the singer part of it.

It was really Tommy Dorsey. You're right. You're right. He was just the skinny kid from Hoboken, right? Who was sort of not as famous as the Tommy Dorsey orchestra at the time, right?

And then as he got more famous, as Sinatra got more famous, he wanted famously out of his contract. And then that's where some of those mafia rumors came up that Sinatra was connected enough to get. And that leads, I believe, to the scene in The Godfather with the horse head and everything. You've seen The Godfather, right? I'm familiar. Somewhat. So anyway, so I thought it was interesting, if I can play this, if Bananas has not muted everything on my audio board right now. I love you so much, sweetie, but boy, are you ruining something that I was trying to ruin.

By the way, your microphone did crackle, I'm assuming, and you're now quieter, but I'm assuming that's only my experience. I'm hoping that's not the experience of the listeners.

I am quieter to you. Let me see here. Let me try turning that up a tiny bit more because I really do want to make sure that I'm not too quiet.

As long as the recording is working, that's all that matters.

Yeah, I might have to fix this in post in all seriousness. But anyway, so here's the early version. This is the Tommy Dorsey version, but you have Sinatra as the singer. This is how you get younger listeners, Luke.

It's also how you haunt a mountain lodge.

What do you think Rogan's doing today?

Talking to Huberman.

Come on, are we going to... This might be one where it's like a really long buildup to the vocals. There is major drama going on in this office right now, Luke. I am not even kidding. Bananas has jumped off of my board way up. By the way, whatever you did just fixed your audio. Oh, that was Bingo walking on the board. I guess when one cat walks on a board. God opens a window? I guess so. oh, shoot, if that's the case, was I crackly that whole time?

No, you were just quiet while the Shining music was playing, and then literally it all got better when the second cat walked on the podium. Oh, my God, a young Frank Sinatra.

Okay, so that was a pretty long climb to get to that. Now, here's the actual Sinatra version. I don't know the years of these. But that is a young Sinatra, right? That's the young Tommy Dorsey band with Sinatra. And then this is him as mature Sinatra as we know him today.

At the west of the moon We'll build a dream house Of love, dear i like the dorsey version better this is the one that had marcus the worm hicks on it though right i don't know he played with the colgate hour

he could hit the high c the horn with the kink in it i'm sorry man that was a risky gambit for me to take you on anyway and i'm so distracted so can i just tell you what's going on then we have to go to break and i'm i think i need to close my door because this is getting ridiculous but again it's good news i can't believe how that's what i was gonna say dude like i mean

And as much as you're in a state of kind of agitation over it, the idea that your problem today, as we record this on Thursday, is that professor is being too kind of like in your business is such a good problem to have. I'm so happy for you. I'm happy too.

But here's what the problem is. So Bananas never comes in this office. Theo will. I'm sorry, Theo. Oh, God. Rest in peace. Rest in power. Yes.

Oh, shit. this might have to be our first video wait can i for seo can i spin a basketball while the cats

walk through the they're gone now bingo chase bananas out of here so bananas there you go i like that there you go but i have no more cat content for you what so just muted me one final time before he chased her out of the room so bananas never comes down here bingo likes to come down here jump off of my board onto this windowsill that's kind of behind me this kind of bookshelf windowsill thing that if I'm standing is about shoulder high, if you can picture it. And he needs to like jump off of my audio board to get up there. Bananas, the much older cat is actually a bigger cat. And again, so thankfully after her after losing some um ability to use her back legs just a mere couple of weeks ago she is a stronger cat and so she can launch if she wants to which she rarely does she can launch herself much more easily back onto this windowsill and look out the window but the thing is bingo sees that as his place now like he's the that is one of his spots so about five minutes ago i was so pleased to see my old cat healthy again come in here and launch off of my desk back up onto that window and i'm like man the world is a great place yes but then i saw bingo's little face come around the corner and he's like what is that bee doing in my space and i could see the look on his face he's like no no no no no no no no no no no no no so that's when can bingo though

jump can bingo jump from the floor up to the window ledge or does bingo have to use your audio surface as a midpoint

Bingo needs the audio board and that's why my audio board is messed up every day because he launches off of that whereas Bananas is a little bit stronger she can just do it from like the desk or the table and I think that I mean I'm putting this on him I think he's jealous of that

yeah I know because you would think Bingo is you know young and and virile and in the prime of life and would be small though would be very jumpy and be able to just like you know leap over tall buildings in one bound and then uh professor would be but that's not how it goes

in that house he's very jumpy he's got a lot of energy when we play with his game um and his game these days are these um hair ties genevieve is now buying special hair ties just for the cat not for her hair that he loves he plays fetch with us it is i think i've said this to you on the show i can't stress enough how amazing it is he will if i'm ignoring him he will bump my shin with his nose and say like hey dude it's down here at your foot throw it and i'm bringing it back to you and he will do that for hours um and sometimes i throw it up in the air and he will get air he will he's like um name a guy who jumps really high dan odell beckham jr professional skateboarder danny way he's a professional skateboarder danny way in the end zone yeah in buffalo reaching up. Or wait, no, no, Odell. Was he a Buffalo Bill at one point or a giant? I get those two confused.

I think he was a giant when he made that catch.

Yes, yes. Sorry. Sorry, folks of New York. But anyway, yeah. So Bingo King really gets some air, relatively speaking. But he's got some... Genevieve got his DNA results. And I know... Did I ever tell you about that? You found out he's 100% that bitch?

Wow.

like he's got some sort of like gene that is like he's just a little guy he doesn't have like he just can't jump quite as high uh as the as the bigger cats what do you call it when a cat is like not a is it a midget a midget i don't think we use that word anymore i know i know well for

cats i don't know but i just i'm just munchkin munchkin for all of for all of the um chaos that just caused during the last 10 minutes of the show. Yeah, that was rough. Overall, I'm very happy about this development for you and for Genevieve and for the household, Andrew. And the

household is back in order. Bingo is now back. He's chased the old cat back to her corner where she's allowed to be, according to him, and now he's back in here to be cute, our little munchkin. There he is. Alright. Aww. There he is.

Okay, hold the cat up.

Okay, we're holding the cat up. Okay, John, post this. Post this, John.

That's as viral as we're going to go. I'm serious. Okay. Let's thank some dazzling donors, and then we'll get to the real show.

You know I hate to admit it when Luke is right about something, right? But I got to give him credit. He was right about at least one thing. He has been telling me for quite some time to check out the podcast Everything is Alive. It's hosted by his friend Ian Shillog. And Ian interviews inanimate objects, if you can imagine that, like a box of tissues or a bath towel. And Everything is Alive has a new series out now called The Animals, in which Ian interviews animals, like a pink flamingo. I listened to that one yesterday. It was so good. A butterfly. We get to hear from the perspective of a kangaroo. And this podcast features a lot of great comedians, like our friend Harry Kondabolu or Vinnie Thomas, Connor Ratcliffe, a whole bunch. I was especially drawn to the production style if I can geek out for just a second the production of this podcast just reminds me of some of my favorite podcasts from back in the day just like really deftly done but with a very light touch and it feels very intimate for ostensibly a comedy show and I noticed that Hilary Frank was credited in the credits one of my favorite producers of all time so you gotta check it out I'm giving this my full endorsement even if it does make Luke look right check it out Everything is Alive and The Animals, a new series from

Everything is Alive. You can find it on your podcast app.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Okay, let's thank some dazzling donors. These are the wonderful, generous donors who are donating a dazzling amount of dough, and it's vital to the mission. And we're talking about folks like Kelly Hedgecock, who's in Kernersville, North Carolina. You ever been? I can't say that I have. I haven't been to North Carolina a ton in my life. A couple times when I was a kid, because my granddad, Farnham Burbank, Farnham Moss Burbank, retired down to New Bern, North Carolina. So we went down there a couple times. And then I've been to the Outer Banks, which is where I went to the birthplace of the monster truck gravedigger. Oh, right. Yes. But I can't say that I've been to Kernersville. Here's what Kelly says with her dazzling donor message straight from Kernersville, straight out of Kernersville. Hi, imaginary friendos. I'm so thankful for another year to be part of the 10s community. One of my favorite annual traditions is to participate in the Valentine's and holiday card exchange. I wonder what the Leap Day William cards look like this year, Andrew.

Oh, yeah. I don't know. Who was organizing that? Were you organizing that? I was. I do a lot of stuff with the listeners that you don't know about.

You had four years to prepare for this, Lou. That is true. Wait, is it four? It's four years, right?

Yeah.

I think it's every four. So three years maybe, I guess. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. That's actually kind of a – that would be a fun idea, right? And it would be kind of up the listener's alley to just do like a Leap Day card exchange. I mean, not to put more work on the folks that are already volunteering to coordinate these things. But, I mean, the good news is you only have to do it every four years. That's right. How old will Langley be in four years? Maybe Langley can organize this for us. I've been hearing a lot of Leap Day content today. And, you know, people are like people like to get married on Leap Day. But I think that's kind of an interesting one because then it feels like one of the things about being in a relationship, particularly being in a marriage, is, you know, you celebrate. wow we've been together for 20 years but if it's leap day then the joke is we've only been married for whatever five years like i understand how people want to do that around their birthday like i'm turning 29 again or whatever because you know you're not counting it every year but it seems like with a relationship you kind of want to mark the passage of time you want as many you want to be able to put as many miles on that odometer as you can you want credit for that well

it could be one way to put it i mean vives and i have been like fantasizing uh about this for a long time because we've been partners for so long we thought that we might have an easy way to like sort of game the newlywed game like if we've lived as partners for like 21 years or whatever but then get married then we get married we're like hey we're newlyweds but then we go on the show and we know everything we just school them luke so i need you to reboot the newlywed game so that i

can get back on there i have a bob newhart wait bob newhart that's that's not what i'm thinking of Who was the host of – Bob Newhart was a totally different person. Who was the host of the newlywed game?

When I look it up, I will probably –

I don't – I would imagine maybe. Was Chuck Woolery? I don't – we don't stand Chuck Woolery on this program. But there was a guy before him whose name – again, I want to say – Wow, this is giving me Bob Eubanks. Bob Eubanks, thank you. It was Bob Eubanks, okay. Bob Eubanks, not Bob Newhart. Okay, gotcha, yeah. I have a process for exhuming Bob Eubanks, and I will engage the protocols right now to get you and Genevieve back on that show. Here's what Kelly has to say, our dazzling donor. I had two things I wanted to say in my dazzling message. First, on a serious note, I want to thank Andrew and Luke for the compassionate and thoughtful way they discuss issues involving persons experiencing homelessness. I have the privilege of working for a nonprofit organization in my community that serves those who are experiencing a crisis, such as lack of food, housing and resources. I encourage my fellow 10s to find and support organizations that are working with the unhoused by volunteering or, more importantly, donating. So, yeah, thank you, Kelly. Always a good reminder to to engage with that part of our community. I think I can't imagine that we have too many listeners at this point who are living in an area where they have not experienced this particular crisis in this country, which is people that are experiencing homelessness. So I'm sure it's pretty relatable to folks on a second, less serious note. I don't know why I just made Kelly sound like a bad impression of Wallace Shawn from and only secondly, less serious. Also, that sounded like Daffy Duck.

now well you're right now that you say that but you know what there's a there's a thin line i I want to say how happy it makes my heart. The thin duck line is what they call it. Ooh. Is there a dark wing duck joke in there? I don't.

I'm sorry to get you off track.

On a second left theory-eth note, I want to say how happy it makes my heart to hear words by doves at the end of every show. My favorite band is doves. Oh. And I encourage my fellow tens to listen to their amazing catalog. Okay. That's all. Power out from Kelly. I think I must, somewhere in the very far back recesses of my brain, I must know a few other Dove's songs because this came up on, I think this came up on the Hey Dummies, and then I, actually, Kelly, thank you for giving me a chance to revisit this. I believe there was a question on Hey Dummies about the song that gets played at the end of the show. Of course, that's the video that's in the newsletter. I jumped on that video, and then I think I said something about there being swears in the song. And then I think you clarified to me, Andrew, that that is not even what they're saying in the lyrics of the song.

Did you see what I ended up doing in that video? We had some fun with that. Yeah, because we had some fun. We had some fun with that because you were saying, oh, yeah, there's an F word in it. But the word is like I can't remember, but it's like fought or something. It's not the it's not the word that you thought it was. And so I put a little caption in the video just kind of correcting it. But then at the end, when you sort of referred back to it, I like sort of I beeped it out and I covered your mouth with a little black bar. And I think I beeped it out of the song as well. It gave me some fun production stuff to do. Speaking of, by the way, this week's video had a lot of production in it. So sign up for the newsletter. Cool. Already.

I yeah. I for the longest time assume that there was a line in the song by Doves words. They mean nothing. So you can't bleep me. And I was saying in the video. It's fault. That's what it is. So words, they mean nothing so you can't fault me Which makes more sense Because I guess what they're saying is I'm just saying words And you can't fault me for saying words But I think I must know some other Doves songs Because I got a The reason I even know about this song Is because I got a promotional CD From the band Doves I want to say when I was working in LA And I would play that, you know CD in the CD player of my computer And I really liked the album And that was how I ended up on that song, Words, which is now how we end the show. So Kelly giving a shout out to the band Doves as part of her Dazzling Donor message. So thanks, Kelly. Appreciate you. Yeah, thank you, Kelly. Maestro.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

Keeping it south of the Mason-Dixon, we're going a bit north up to Arlington, Virginia, where we find dazzling donor Laura Gosling. Long time, long time listener. Very, very long time. Thank you, Laura. Once again, the dazzling donor message has caught me while I'm in limbo waiting to go to my next foreign service post. Ah, ah, this makes Arlington make a lot more sense. Yeah, there you go. Sure. I lived briefly in Arlington. Talked about it before. It's a very interesting place. I mean, all of Northern Virginia is that area is interesting because it's it's so D.C. adjacent. you have a a population of folks many of whom are incredibly incredibly driven bright do interesting careers do things like laura gosling does going on foreign service posts but in the meantime they're just in arlington i forget the name of this joint that was down the street from my little sublet there was like a bar that i used to like to go to and it was just It's all full of people that were waiting for their next foreign service post like Laura. Laura may have even been there. I don't know. So Laura says, well, actually following my 11. So maybe the 11 is getting the foreign service post. But TBTL is the comfort that gives me a sense of normalcy as my life gets turned upside down every couple of years. I'm grateful to the community that TBTL provides. Talking to other tens has gotten me through rough patches that I would have had trouble navigating otherwise. um laura i'm glad to hear that this show and and i don't even mean the show like me and andrew and the cats but like the community of tbtl has been a comfort i hadn't really thought of that like sometimes i do wish andrew that this was still a radio show just because i'm a geek about radio and radio shows i love i to this day love turning on my radio and listening to radio

programming and and and randomly landing on something yes as opposed to dialing up a podcast

true and and the more like i don't know the more localized the radio show kind of the more fun it is to me in a certain way and yet there's something really cool about this podcasting thing which is that tens can listen to it anytime wherever they are wherever they are in the world and i feel like we hear from people who are in all kinds of far-flung places Thank you.

And what initially kind of draws them to the show is it reminds them of home. It reminds them of particularly like the Seattle area or whatever. And it's pretty cool that the technology allows for this so that Laura can be wherever Laura ends up, but still listening to the show and still connecting with the tens and feeling, you know, not maybe like in such a kind of unfamiliar place. Absolutely. Absolutely.

And also I do want to say Bingo is here for you as well. I mean, you sort of were dismissive about Bingo's role in supporting Laura.

Now, here's something, Andrew, that I am quite shocked by, and it's at the end of Laura's message. Laura says, and I'm also nervous about saying this word because I feel like I say it wrong all the time, TBTL is an integral part of my day. Do you go with integral or integral? I think I swap them back and forth, and I think they're both okay, but integral sounded good to me. Laura says, if we're allowed to ask for drops, I think I'd ask for the celebrity sketch. from i think you should leave thanks for all you do friendos do you is that a reference to the charades sketch i think that's the charades one and i have it ready to go here marcus the worm

hicks didn't i just we were we were just we were just talking about that yeah that's a complete i mean i was gonna say it's a complete coincidence but it's one of those things where a stop you know i mean we're gonna we're gonna probably bring that up every other show in one way in one fashion or

another. I guess that's a good point. I thought you maybe indicated some sort of serendipity today. You're just saying it's the law of big numbers. We talk about that sketch so often that it's not that crazy that we just mentioned it. And now Laura is asking for it in the Dazzling

Donor Message. And you don't believe in a dog. Now, here's the deal. Should I, I'm going to play it. It's long. It's like a minute 20 or something. So what I'm going to do, if you're okay with this, Luke, and I'll get your permission ahead of time, instead of asking forgiveness later is I still have my playlist up here on Spotify. Now they're both coming out of the same computer so this is going to be really awkward but what if I play Charlie Parker's version of East of the Sun, West of the Moon while we hear while two cats trip the light fantastic on an audio board. I close the door. They are locked out. But I've got to do all this mixing on my computer so this is going to be what we call a disaster. So we're returning to form here as far as what I'm bringing to the show today.

This is the wrong vibe.

No, no. Here, we're going to go with him more. How about... Remember you told me, it was the night you told me I'd never be a successful writer because I don't have a curious mind. How about Stan Getz?

Yeah, Stan Getz is going to bring it better. Oh, yeah, now this is it. Okay, that's better. This is it. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Everybody, everybody just calm down.

Okay, everyone got a celebrity name in? All right. Team one, you're up.

Okay, he was in Ocean's Eleven.

Matt Tiemann.

No, um, he has a tequila, silver five. Uh-uh, that's George Clooney. Yes. Okay, um, she was a pretty woman.

Julia Roberts.

Yes. Okay, um, all right, I guess this is a musician.

John Mayer.

No, older. Goddamn, it's jazz legend Marcus the Worm Hicks.

Okay, who put that in?

That one might be one of mine.

Okay, team two, we're up. Howie, you go first.

All right, this guy ran with Thaddeus Finks. He was one of the eight balls in Mookie Kramer in the eight ball. I don't know, this doesn't sound like anything. He played the alto sax with the kink in it. I don't know.

Not sure. Really?

OK. Pass. OK, this one's easy. He's got the freak lips. He can hit the high C all night long. He was king of the tuk-tuk sound. Is this another jazz guy? Time.

Come on, guys.

We didn't get one.

That's because they're supposed to be celebrities everyone knows.

Oh, you mean like household names like Roy Donk or Jack Marshall who wrote the Munsters theme song? Roy Donk?

Oh, I think this one's Howie's. Yep, I don't know what to do.

Just, what was it?

Tiny Boop Squig Shorterly.

Come on, is that even a celebrity? He's no Roy Donk, but he was a regular guest on the Colgate Hour.

There you go. Was the night you said you don't like PDA? there's so much of the relationship between the heidecker character and his girlfriend that we couldn't include for time yeah that's just that's all that could be its own series of sketches it really is like the the simmer everything that's simmering underneath that conversation is like oh it's so dreadful it's so great well thank you so much to our dazzling and donors for giving us a chance to revisit what I believe scientists call some entertaining audio for once. Hello and welcome to Top Story. This is one of those things that I saw kind of bopping around the...

news a little bit i saw a new york times article on it um and then last night after i had worked and i want to be clear i had done my work and i was relaxing with some mindless scrolling on tiktok i then um sorry i'm also having to re-log into the new york times because how would they ever remember me even though i have been a subscriber for years and also they constantly send me oh my are you kidding me right now you lost my password do you want me to let the cats in here who let the cats in this is this is i mean honestly this is a this aggression will not stand well i will

say i feel somewhat responsible for this as i buy you some time here because i chide you from time to time for printing everything out and here you are joining the digital revolution you're like i'm going to go into today's show by just like using the computer to provide me my information from

the new york times and now this is what happened because this particular computer that i'm on i don't look things up a lot on it or rather i don't use the new york times on here i have it on my other computer and here's the problem it doesn't record i don't know what my password is i'm not resetting my password because then i have to do that on my other computer right no so what i'm going to do instead is recite this new york times article from memory i have it in front of me so So if you need any support. What I was going to say is I saw it in the New York Times and I thought, oh, that's kind of entertaining. And then TikTok last night was obsessed. I saw so many like basically what happened was there's some video online of this. There was supposed to be this Willy Wonka experience that was going down in Glasgow, Scotland, and it was advertised as one of those immersive events. These are kind of a big thing. There's like a Van Gogh one that travels around. I've actually been to these pop-ups that are like the Museum of Ice Cream or whatever. You know, they're these kind of immersive things. And this very kind of promising online kind of ad went up for this immersive world of Wonka. And based on the illustrations, it looked like, wow, we're just going to be in this world of, as they say in the song, pure imagination. and then people showed up and it was real bad it was just big empty cavernous areas there was like just a t a flat screen tv on a stand with nothing around it looked like something a teacher would wheel into a classroom for watching a movie on the day you have a substitute um the thing that was really blowing up tiktok last night was a like a regular a standard like mirror right that you would just have in your bedroom at your apartment like a full-length mirror like a full-length mirror but maybe that goes up like five and a half feet so not a grand like not a huge mirror just like a five and a half foot mirror that's you know i don't know a couple feet wide and a person with a kind of a mask on almost like a jabberwocky kind of mask and a black cloak who would hide behind the mirror and then do this kind of like axel rose snake dance around the mirror that was this was called the unknown which i guess is a part of wonka lore that i don't remember i'm not familiar with do you remember something called the unknown from the

chocolate factory don't and i feel like i even read the book as a kid although that would have been a long long time ago so no i don't remember that either well there was some uh there was there

was some kind of um uh character thing people will you know get at us now i'm looking it up You know what? Here's to Time Magazine. You know who will let me read about this, Andrew? Time Magazine, who I pay $0 a year to. So thank you very much. The event was called Willie's Chocolate Experience. And anyway, so the video that I kept seeing last night, among other things. Well, there was two kind of, I think, memorable memes from this thing that turned out to be pretty bad. One was the guy snake dancing behind the mirror. Again, I don't know if it was what the gender of the person was. The person playing the unknown. But it was very unconvincing. And then the other thing was, I think a woman who, I don't know what her character was, but she's standing behind like kind of a bar of potions that's supposed to be, I don't know if she's making the gum or what she's supposed to be doing, but the look on her face is so over this shit because she clearly was an actor that was hired or a performer that was hired like the day before this whole thing. There was somebody else who did an interview who was hired to play, I guess, an Oompa Loompa, and they told whatever outlet I was reading that wasn't the New York Times or somebody else that they basically got hired like the day before the show and then were given a script that was like a 15-page script of Oompa Loompa-related dialogue they were supposed to memorize in like a night. This has very, very – other than – it wasn't physically dangerous to people, so in this way it was different, but it had strong fire.

festival vibrations to me the headline off the new york times is a few jelly beans in a world of disappointment at willywood a world of disappointment is pretty good families traveled to glasgow for an event that they claim to channel the magic of charlie and the chocolate factory they got a couple of jelly beans instead so yeah the jelly beans in this case are the stand in for the single piece of wonder bread with a slice of american cheese on it i guess now i'm

seeing again this is the worst way to get into this story or to even talk about it because i'm sure that i'm getting so much of it wrong but i'm now looking at a tweet and i use the term tweet advisedly everyone a tweet from someone called culture crave that says new details on the willy wonka experience disaster uh the script was 15 pages of ai generated gibberish that's got to be a reference to what the person playing an oompa loompa said uh the there was a made-up villain called the unknown who's an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls oh a made up that's the thing right so that might be why we don't recognize that character because that might not be a character i feel like a character called the unknown who's a quote evil chocolate maker who

lives in the walls because the one problem with charlie and the chocolate factory is there aren't

enough characters already that's the thing that's the thing it's a very it's like it's like my dinner with andre it's right it's very small it's so pared down it's just two people by the way second wallace sean reference on today oh yeah wow who says we're not appealing to the younger generations now that i know this again i'm basing this on one tweet but if this one tweet is to be believed that the unknown is a made-up character it makes this video even funnier because i just um like what this feels like is that they got you know they went on like i don't know a casting board or something in glasgow and said if you're a performer and you want to make 14 bucks an hour i believe they use pounds over there come on down and we're going to give you a costume and you're going to be part of this this Wonka thing but I don't know if we just that they had a mirror and then they had like they didn't know what to do have you found this video by the way Andrew

I haven't found that video I'm just like all over the place on this look up the unknown I'm looking at the unknown right now on a website called the tab with the there's like a silver mask yes and a black robe and the headline on this particular you know probably not so reputable blog is meet the unknown the made up glasgow wonka experience villain who traumatized kids unsurprisingly an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls is not in the film

and also it's i i don't i think the reason the kids were traumatized is because of how bad the special effects are of the unknown it is like somebody grabbed a mirror out of their

college dorm now i'm seeing it holding and then just was hiding behind it then just like this is

the effect of coming out of the wall it's truly bonkers just how and my heart goes out to this person playing the unknown because presumably they're not one of the the people who put this production on who made the ad and who rented the space right like this is a person that is doing their best my assumption this is a performer that is doing their absolute best under extremely

challenging circumstances yes exactly oh my god i'm seeing so many photos of it now now i'm on I'm on something else now, though, Luke, which is going to derail us a little bit. But this is irritating me. So I'm on this blog that is kind of doing a roundup of a bunch of people's tweets who were there or whatever. And this is worth noting, by the way, this thing with the unknown holding this cheap-ass mirror from DJ Max. Oh, the unknown is a Maxinista. Who knew? But somebody tweeted a photo of the unknown holding a mirror and wrote that Glasgow Willy Wonka experience has justified its own existence solely for a three second clip of the unknown, a completely made up A.I. character popping out from behind a mirror and scaring kids shitless. Now, here's the deal. I don't think A.I. has anything to do with this. I'm really concerned about A.I.'s good name through this. It's just like I don't know if you remember this, Luke. I went off one time. I mean, years ago, about some story that took place on an airplane that had some significance. But the one thing that I took away from it was so not important, but it was a photo of somebody who was at the center of the story posing with, I believe, a pilot or somebody else who was employed by the airline. And everybody referred to it as a selfie. And it wasn't a selfie. It was just a photo of somebody who said, here's my phone. Take a photo of me and this other person. That's not a selfie. And for some reason, it seemed really important to me that I stop the tide of people just referring to all photos as selfies or all photos of themselves as a selfie, like that is specifically not it.

I don't think that this is an AI character. I think this is somebody who had a bad idea and said, we have some extra wigs and this cloak and a mirror over there. What can you do with that? And then some silver paint left over from the last Mad Max movie. But I don't think AI has anything to do with it. And I would just like it if people stopped just using AI as a stand in for fake or made up.

Right. I think what's happening here is some things are being conflated. So here's another article This is from comicbook.com Guess what Andrew Another place I don't pay $100 a flippin' month to The reason I was also The New York Times doesn't ever miss a chance To try to upsell me On even more of their content Even though I'm already paying for it every month I get an email almost every morning Like upgrade to get all of the benefits Of the New York Times How about this benefit Letting me look at the goddamn website Sorry this is a family friendly show now Anyway, from comicbook.com, more details about the disastrous, unauthorized Willy Wonka immersive experience in Glasgow. I think what happened was, this is one of the people, Paul Connell opened up about the lack of chocolate at the event that had been billed as a chocolate experience. A bizarre script, he said, was AI generated and even misspellings in the contract that he signed. So this guy, I believe, was somebody who was hired. He was hired to play Willy Wonka. So that's a big role for this. That's a big time. He says, quote, I'm constantly, I'll save you all my Scottish accent. I'm constantly applying for more acting jobs and comedy work. And then I got a phone call on Thursday saying, congratulations, you're going to play Willy Wonka. We're going to send you over the script and dress rehearsal is tomorrow. The script was 15 pages of AI-generated gibberish of me just monologuing these mad things.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. So there was some reason that AI was used here. It wasn't completely random.

He's of the opinion that it was AI generated. But that's very different than AI made up the unknown. Yes. And that's why I think that there's maybe a conflation happening here.

You know what I think might be an interesting point now? I've just lost all confidence in myself today. I have no idea what's interesting. I assume none of it is. But now that I just take a step back from this and think about it, it is a narrative problem for an experience like this because Willy Wonka the story if I'm remembering it correctly which I could be embarrassing myself here it doesn't have a built-in villain like they felt like they needed a villain and the problem well the villain is Willy Wonka he's murdering children exactly Willy Wonka is the villain except not a traditional villain like both a villain and a hero kind of at the same time that's really interesting if

you think about it right oh wait andrew i'm sorry tvtl breaking news the unknown may have actually been ai generated okay continuing in the article he continued this is the guy hired to play wonka the bit that got me was where i had to say quote there is a man we don't know his name we know him as the unknown this unknown is an evil chocolate maker who lives in the walls end quote it was terrifying for the kids is he an evil man who makes chocolate or is he the chocolate is the chocolate itself evil question mark connell went on to explain that at one point in his monologue he was supposed to quote suck up the unknown man with a vacuum cleaner but when he asked if there was a vacuum cleaner he was told they hadn't gotten that yet and he was to improvise improvise of the unknown man so it may very well be the case that the like just imagine the the the folks um behind this whole thing as they're realizing that they have not actually done the proper kind of legwork on this and it's two days away uh from you know going live and they're just like somebody one person said that they you know just were handed a wig that clearly came in a box from amazon that morning like i can just imagine the this has spirit written all over it i think amazon is a step up just kind of like the moment where they're realizing like oh shit we have hundreds of people showing up for this we have not done any of the proper preparation and there's so many holes to plug in this experience including what are the people even going to say someone may have thought okay uh i'm going to put this in the chat gpt chat gpt write me an immersive willy wonka experience enter and then it you know just goes on its way and it comes up with this thing including a character it's invented called the unknown, which then they just, instead of going, well, this is one of those hallucinations, this is where Chad you EPT has kind of just gone off the rails. They were like, somebody get a Jabberwocky mask and a very, very moderately sized mirror. And we're going, we're going to, instead of following Roald Dahl's actual plot of this thing, we're going with what the AI suggested in terms of a new character called the unknown.

It is bizarre because I have no experience with these types of things as you set it up, these immersive experiences, but it does sort of seem as an outsider to that world that the Willy Wonka experience would really lend itself to it. You know what I mean? It's like if you can do it right if you have the time and resources, it's the perfect immersive experience because that's what's happening to the kids in the book

and in the movie. Well, one of the problems is of course they had absolutely no permission from whoever it is who actually owns the rights to all this intellectual property. Oh, well that's going to be a problem. So that was an issue. I didn't know that. Also, the people putting it on were called House of Illuminati. Okay. that right there should be a dead giveaway yeah like wouldn't it be great if that's what the Illuminati was actually doing just breaking the hearts of Scottish children instead of trying to run the universe with the help of Beyonce and the Bilderbergers no we just like to be withholding with jelly beans yeah no we just like to over promise and under deliver on immersive experiences not nearly as sinister as you've been led to believe there are two other things that i thought were kind of uh sort of funny about this one of them was some parents apparently upon it was 40 a ticket and there were apparently a couple of parents who did call the police and i would on the unknown that's who they should have called the police on called the police on the event the police showed up to the event according to one of the articles i read because they had been called and when they got there apparently they interacted with the house of illuminati people and were told that like you know no crime had been committed really and then had left but what was that what are they what do you call in in scotland i can't be these it can't be 9-1-1 though what's the number i think you just yell right probably so like i just would love to hear that emergency call oh yeah right yeah yeah yeah 9-1-1 what's your emergency okay i'm go with me a i'm at an immersive willy wonka experience with my children and it is so bad in here that it is literally illegal we need actual police we this is a level of under delivering on this and we need you here pretty much right now um the uh organizers of the festival claim that they will be returning all of the money to everyone who came to the event i andrew will be shocked if that actually happens yeah yeah i i feel like this is this is though that 40 each one of those 40 tickets that money is gone i think that money is in the the unknown has absconded with that money uh to to somewhere where we will never find them i mean

We have not talked about this, but there's like a new Fyre Festival in the works, right? Yeah. Have you been following this? We haven't talked about it on the show, I don't think.

I've actually been trying to, to be honest with you, I've been trying to avoid it because the guy who was behind the first Fyre Festival, Billy McFarland, he of just irrepressible reinvention is now back everywhere on all the social medias, including TikTok, hype gassing up his new Fyre Festival. um and getting attention over it which i don't like like i don't enjoy that i don't feel like i don't i don't like that redemption narrative he i and so every time he pops up on my for you feed i just try to go on to the next thing because i don't i don't think he still gets to be in the concert promotion business in my in my opinion yeah no i respect that i there are a lot of things

like that for me where i'm just like i don't want to give that any more fuel or oxygen and even if my small part is just ignoring it it makes me feel better i did see though i for some reason

did allow it to him talking to a podcaster interviewing him i let it run long enough to hear him say that he owes uh he still owes 22 million dollars in in in fines etc from fire fest so i honestly felt like well that's at least something like at least he's not like out of jail and just back on top of the world like he is at least allegedly laboring under this 22 million dollar um debt i don't know what's going to happen to house of illuminati it sounds like nothing you know but maybe they can collab i do think that if people still remember this in how many months let's see if Thank you.

if people still remember in eight months the unknown with the mirror would be a dope-ass halloween costume that's a you should bookmark that idea somehow yes easy to pull off yeah i'm the unknown you just hit your local tj maxx get a mirror wander around um actually you know what eight months is the perfect amount of time because yeah we are so for we are so forgetful I can't also think of anything else that would be important happening this coming fall. Yeah, what could it be? Wherein the entire fate of democracy would be taking up most of our brain space.

I'm going to say something here that might sound super insensitive, but I'm posing it as a question. Obviously, I don't even do Halloween, so I'm not suggesting this or doing this myself.

You've left the state before to avoid Halloween.

Twice now. Potentially on the precipice of three times, depending on what Genevieve's plans are this October. But I feel like people are going to when they when it gets to be like October and they're like, OK, what were the big news stories this year? What can I make a costume out of? I think people are going to go to the Boeing story, the Alaska flight. And so I think the obvious costume there is probably a shirtless, like somebody with their shirt off.

Person with hair, hairsprayed in a direction.

And if it's like a hot dude, he can like have his shirt off. Right. because like the kid who was like near the door.

Hot dudes are all, as I like to say about like McConaughey, they're allergic to shirts. Right, exactly. Always looking for a reason. But I do think. Sexy Halloween costume. I do, I like this unknown thing because I think we will have forgotten about it and then it'll be like, oh my gosh, like what you don't want is for this kind of story to happen in September. Yeah, right. Or like late September because then it's too close to the event and then everyone's going as the unknown from the Wonka experience. Right.

There's a right way to rock And a wrong way to roll You can just listen to your soul Just remember that life is number one You can be having so much fun Just remember that life is much fun You can be number one

All right, I just did a little last-minute looking even at my spam folder, made sure no new blurses have come in in the past five minutes. I think we're locked in and ready to go here, Luke. Okay. Are you ready? I'm so ready. Emotionally, mentally, physically. I'm so ready. All right. Yeah.

Nice.

Hey, hermano. There you go.

That's an easy one.

That's in your wheelhouse. Let's start with Chris in New Zealand, Luke. to our dearest Arlo Bear. Happy fifth birthday. Mom and dad can't believe that our little baby, who spent the first few days of his life in the neonatal ICU by himself. Don't go there. Is now, literally, is now growing into a little boy. You're a kind, sweet, and caring kid, and we can't imagine life without your laughter and joy. Lots of love from your sister Orla, mom, and dad. Here. Oh, Arlo. It's very slinky. Happy Blur's Day, Arlo.

Yeah. Five years old. Do you know what Arlo said coming out of that NICU? Hello, everyone. That's exactly right.

He said, what is that terrifying creature with the mirror? Molly says, happy Blur's Day to Leah. Leah, we were nursery bed buddies at Northwest Hospital in 1976. Wow. Symbology. Born one day apart, when you moved from Daniel Bagley Elementary, later Luke, to Lockwood Elementary, hello me, in the fourth grade, we made lifelong friends. You are amazing. Wow. I love you. Cute. You know why I'm here. You know.

This is your buddy Leah, too, Luke, right? Oh, Leah, of course. Yeah. Leah, I didn't know Leah was a Northwest Hospital baby, although that makes sense because that's not far from Haller Lake Preschool where we went. Also, it's where my daughter was born. I'm pretty Leah Chiarelli. Am I saying that right? That's your buddy, right? That is my buddy. Absolutely. Northwest Hospital is also where I took a friend of ours who was so inebriated that the Uber driver called the police. Oh, I know that story. I broke them out of Northwest Hospital and then snuck them back home so they wouldn't get in trouble with their significant other. And then they immediately told them what had happened. Weren't they missing shoes? They had the grippy socks on, as the kids say. They had confiscated their shoes and had put them in those socks that have a little kind of grip on the bottom. And they had to do a walk around in the hospital to prove that it was safe for them to go home. Oh, wow. Yeah, quite a night. Northwest Hospital, you get all ends of the spectrum of experience there.

The birth of your child and also the driving home of your drunk friend.

The good news is you didn't have anything else going on that night, right? No, no, no. You were just like waiting around.

It was an otherwise uneventful night in my life. It's fine. You're fired.

So happy Blur's Day, Leah. Yep. Maggie says, I want to send a very happy Blur's Day message to my two fives, Ethan and Quinn. If you remember the cheese and cracker video, that was them. They were two years old then, and on March 6th, they turned seven. They are just as adorable now as they were then, though, if not more so. They are the two most amazing people I've ever met. Happy birthday, babies. Mama loves you. I'd like to grow a pair sometime. Wow, that was loud. That was your little gift, Ethan and Quinn. That little piece of tape. Dave and Edmund says a very happy Blur's Day to my actual brother and fellow 10, Denny Goulet MD. Now I usually take the last names out of these, but when you put in MD after you have to

Denny Goulet MD Wow, Denny Goulet MD

That sounds like a made up character I would watch that. I would absolutely watch that show It was like a spin off of M.A.S.H. He's culturally Edmunds and a former garbage man Me Too, 100 plus years of family-owned garbage business in our blood. Dave, we need to talk. He may or may not pilot a boat better than Luke.

I'm slimy, I need a shower, and I've got a garbage situation.

Now that's interesting. Oh. Now we finally hit something interesting? What? Well, no, I've said that's interesting to like 100 not interested things.

Now that's interesting.

I'm trying to figure out what the origin of that is because I know that is a drop from one of our younger listeners.

Did Gus say that or something?

Is it Gus or is it our friend in the U district? I can't remember a kid. Oh, no, no It is Gus, but Gus must be quoting you. Is that so is that you are you the origin of that?

You know what is happening Andrew? Did you see my neck crane around? No, you getting something delivered? No, the actual garbage is being taken away right now as we speak I want to turn this up. Look at that. Can you see the wheels? I can see it. Of the garbage truck behind me. Oh, that's a nice spacious. I like that the the airiness of your loft Well, that's because I haven't actually put the kitchenette in, but I'm so happy because, you know, I roll I mean up in the ceiling. Oh, yeah. That was me and Walt, dude. That's a remember you talking about trusses, baby scissor trusses. I remember you talking about those. Yeah, we I rolled the dice this morning. Well, here's what happened. It was raining so, so hard last night. It was so unpleasant out that I didn't feel like rolling the garbage can up the hill and setting it up for potential early morning pickup, which meant that there was a chance when I went out this morning they would have already come by. There's just no predicting if it's going to be crazy early or if it's going to be afternoon times. And so this whole, I mean, yes, I've been focusing on doing the show with you. But mostly I've been thinking, did I miss my window? Because there's no other garbage cans up there today. My neighbors didn't have anything up there. And in fact, I did not. The garbage got picked up, and I'm greatly relieved about that.

Well, you know what I'm just now realizing that is very special, Luke? And I've heard about this in other podcasts. They say that when you podcast with somebody for years and years and years, eventually your cycles, your garbage days line up. I didn't realize that you and I have the same garbage day, my friend. Is that why we're both so crabby all the time? Probably. Okay. So anyway, let's go back to Dave's note. This is for his brother, Denny. Denny may or may not be a better boat pilot than Luke. Let's hope better. It's right up, Gucci. R.I.P. General Lee as he contemplates buying a third boat. Don't worry, he's a donor. Enjoy your last year in your 30s, you old goat. Wow. Happy Blurs Day.

Third boat. Yeah. Imagine that. There's a drop I could activate here, but it would seem hurtful. It's just the next one that came up, but I don't want to play this on someone's Blurs Day. Okay. The day of their blurs.

And finally, Katie says, I'd like to wish myself a happy 40th B-Day. Not everyone Oh good Not everybody gets to their 40th birthday And I'm so grateful to be here I have an awesome life and business I love my husband and partner Peter And our beautiful baby girl As well as our faithful Chewini Ozzy Happy Blurs Day Yeah I don't know Chewini Chihuahua and Wiener Dog The Chihuahua Dachshund Oh I guess so I was thinking Chewbacca But yours makes more sense Happy Blurs Day Katie I'll say happy what's up All right, that's what I got, Luke. Okay. On time and under budget for the Blursdays today. I had to work on those during the show. Thanks for your patience with me. Sorry.

My eye contact was broken. I was too busy watching for the Garbage Man, so we were both looking past each other, Andrew, but not tomorrow. Tomorrow's show, we are going to be locked in. Things are going to be different in March, okay? Starting tomorrow. That's right. Happy Leap Day, by the way. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio for you, so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Please remember, no mountain too tall. and good luck to all.

But what's it do?

Can't you see? It makes everlasting gobstoppers.

Did you say everlasting gobstoppers?

That's right. For children with very little pocket money. You can suck them forever.

i want an everlasting gobstopper me too and me fantastic invention revolutionize the industry

you can suck them and suck them and suck them and they'll never get any smaller never at least i don't think they do a few more tests how do you make them i'm a trifle deaf in this ear speak a little louder next time power out