Muse

A message sent November 28th. So, um, why don't you call me back at 7 o'clock? Bye-bye. TBTL!

I don't know a lot about business, but he did an Internet, and now the computers like him, and Wall Street is Google.

Please refrain from scolding us for our approach. Our approach is legitimate. If I was going to go out and have a Mexican dinner tonight, an Italian dinner tonight, it's immaterial and you can twist it and turn it whichever way the press decides to do all right i'm going to assume that's hypothetical right this is my sandbox i'm not allowed to go in the deep end

that's where i saw the leprechaun he told me to burn things well all right hello good morning and

welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live

We're getting medium play on three independent radio stations in Central Europe.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'd like to grow a pair sometime. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is just a rainy, miserable day here weather-wise. You know you like to get wet, though. But it's an exciting day because sometime in the next seven hours, the countertop guys are going to show up and ideally install the countertop in my kitchen in the little main house here.

I've been waiting for this moment for months and it's finally here.

This is the same company, of course, that came out, decided they couldn't measure the countertops or where I needed to have the countertop put in and then the guy left and I got a call later about a $200 charge for not being ready to go, which caused a whole series of unfortunate events for me in terms of me being kind of a grump to people. Then they sent somebody out, a different guy, and he did the measurements. And I will tell you this, when I saw the guy doing the actual measurements, I understood why it was that they couldn't do it the first time. It was an insanely scientific process. But now they're coming back out. They have the countertops ready to go, supposedly, and I'm getting a flurry of texts from the company, And I'm starting to feel a real anxiety that I don't, I think all the ducks are in a row, but I don't know. And I'm worried that the guys are going to show up with this heavy quartz countertop and they're going to be like, can't do it today. And you owe us 200 more dollars. So hopefully that won't happen. I do know, by the way, something that will happen. We're going to have an excellent episode of TBTL today. It's episode of 4,180 in a collector's and also a collector's series. Let the fun begin. And we're going to talk haircuts, my friend. Cut it out. Are cheap haircuts really the way to go? Or maybe is there something to paying a little bit more to make sure you get exactly what you're hoping for? So we'll talk about that. And also maybe my new favorite genre of TikTok content. And we'll talk to this guy, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions, of The Tall Ships. I might have tacos when I go home. I'm not quite sure yet. He's usually a guy who likes to have tacos on a Wednesday, but here he is doing it on a Tuesday. Maybe that'll become a thing. He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

What did I hear yesterday, Luke? I told you before the show that I received a letter, an actual letter in the mail yesterday informing me, actually informing Genevieve, that we are eligible for a free three-month trial of Sirius XM radio, both in the car and on the app. And that's always an exciting day for me when I get those things. So I reinstalled the app. I just wanted to make sure it was working. I turned on the Howard Stern channel. Not familiar with his work. You and our pal Phyllis Fletcher are fans. And I swear, I listened for about three minutes. I thought, man, how great is it to be able to just dip in on this conversation and I'm already compelled? I didn't have time to keep listening. You want to do a make-believe radio show in a room somewhere. I'm telling you, there's no money in that. It's funny how we talk about how Stern has so much baggage, and I don't think in many ways that show, not him personally, maybe, but that show doesn't really speak to what I...

I'm usually looking for in values and sometimes tone. Having said that, I just dipped in and I heard Howard Stern complaining that somebody was getting a bad rap because they kept saying when Paterno came to our house to recruit somebody, I assume this is Joe Paterno and we're talking about football here, that somebody was getting dragged because they presented the famous coach with sandwiches from Giant Eagle. What was he famous for anyway? I forget. I guess, I mean, yeah, I don't know. That's why I'm even wondering, like, could it have been a different Paterno? What was I listening to? But I was immediately fascinated because they kept on talking specifically about sandwiches from Giant Eagle, which is a regional grocery store chain, which, and I believe, yeah, Pennsylvania, that would line up. It was probably Joe Paterno. So I'm like, okay, if there's some sort of story about Joe Paterno, you know, trying to be, well, maybe not trying to be wooed by sandwiches from Giant Eagle, but at least, you know, being offered sandwiches from Giant Eagle, I should be able to find that on the internet. If I Google things like Paterno, Giant Eagle, and sandwiches, you'd think it would pop up, but I'm getting nothing. I almost called Phyllis Fletcher during the intro, but I figured I might not be able to get that done in time before it was my turn to talk.

If there's a person who would remember that particular episode, it's probably our friend P. Fletch, who, I'll tell you this, I'm talking right past you, Andrew, I'm talking right to our friend Phyllis.

I might text her while you're talking to her, so you go ahead.

I'm going to send, but I want you to hear this, too, as a soon-to-be temporary user of their app. And this is, by the way, useful, this is instructive for us and for John Sklaroff and everyone associated with Too Beautiful to Biz. If we ever do develop an app for the show Which we did have years ago We were on the real cutting edge of having an app As a podcast and it just so happened That we had a listener who built it for us And said hey I made this for you if you want it But it was cool it had a sound board It was a very It was a great thing Thank you whoever did that we might want to get another one at some point But I Loathe The new Sirius app Because what it's doing like with every single uh every time i have a bad experience with some kind of a business whether it's when i'm traveling or uh you know i don't know some kind of internet based thing whatever whatever it is when when you have a bad experience it's usually because the business is making some decision along the lines of money they've decided that you can tolerate a certain amount of discomfort or hassle in order to for them to monetize you further this is not quite that but what it is is the old i listen to two things on that app i listen to the seattle mariners and i listen to the howard stern show and i don't like to listen to i'm not the kind of person who likes to listen to a quibi of the howard stern show yeah i don't want stern's greatest music interviews i don't want richard christie's favorite prank calls i don't want i don't want This this thing that has a Beginning middle and end which is an entire episode Of that show yeah I don't want It sliced and diced I don't want to just get The three funniest moments With where Benji When we went into the Benji vortex I don't want any of that I want to listen To the show From the beginning to the middle to the end As a sort of standalone Community experience a community being the People listening the people working there in me And what's clearly Somebody it's serious some big brained individual is like people don't want to listen to two and a half hours of stern they want to listen to um the you know they want to listen to the greatest musical performances at the new serious nashville studio on stern like what what a sub genre okay bands that have been on stern but they're only the ones that have played at the new nashville facility yeah and just the musical performances yeah that's what i a howard stern show fan want to listen to is that so it's they they launched this new app i don't know six months ago and to be honest with you what really happens is i'm driving my car i've usually it's either the section of public radio broadcasting in the afternoon i call the dead zone aka international news which is the world followed by the bbc it's

like oh right yes yeah yeah i mean i just i i glaze over luke is doing the international symbol for

falling asleep while talking it's dangerous for me to be driving during that two-hour period it's just i i anyway you know it's just a it's it's tough for me to to to to fully engage with us with some of the stories that are just feel very far away and they are very far away but anyway so Oftentimes during that period of the day, I will go, okay, well, this I'm going to try to catch up on a little bit of Stern. And I've got the phone and I try to be safe. I really try not to do this while I'm actually driving. Let's say I'm at a stoplight and then I kind of open the app. And all I want to get to is like today's episode or at least the most recent episode that I haven't listened to. And I have to dig through so much other like diced and sliced content. Because part of the thing, too, is that because of the contract, they only do. howard certainly does three shows a week and that's only about half of the year so that's the other part of this whole thing listen the guy's had a long long successful career has made a lot of money has he's under no obligation to do any more episodes than he cares to so you know um and by the way i look forward to the summer games everyone uh this year it's gonna be real hum dingers but anyway um so also what somebody over there has done is like okay we don't actually get We've got, like, actually not that much Howard Stern anymore, original content, not a whole lot of it. It's more and more like Donald Trump's hair.

They're just like, we're moving it over here, we're moving it over there.

If we place each follicle of Stern next to each other, we will create an illusion of maximum coverage. Like, hey, are they doing five shows a week? I don't know, but I'm listening to something about Joe Paterno eating a hoagie from Wawa. This must be a new episode. And that's probably how you landed on whatever you landed on, was this attempt to cut the pursuit so thin, and it's so many different hatchworks, so that you kind of seem like you're putting up stuff all the time. But most of it is not new content.

I'm very much with you. By the way, if you heard a voice in the back of your headphones, and you wondered if it was bingo. It was. Oh, there it is. No, it was me trying to play the GeoQuiz music. I don't understand how I can't type in PRI the world GeoQuiz music and there aren't a million remixes online. I remember, didn't that, what TV show was it? Was it the show Weeds or something? I remember every time this woman would get in her car, she would turn on her car and you would hear the GeoQuiz music in the back. It's like instantaneous.

What a great bit, Andrew. I love that. So I was literally talking to Becca about this when we were driving home from, I think, maybe doing Livewire in Seattle. And I said to her, the fact that the world changed the GeoQuiz music is shocking to me because it was without a doubt. Have they changed it? I don't think they even do the Geo Quiz. Again, I'm admittedly not as regular a listener as I should be. But of the times that I've listened to the show, I don't remember in the last few years even hearing the Geo Quiz. And if I have heard it, I don't remember that. Can I just throw this out there? That's a huge mistake. Is it like Bakra Bata that did that song? I used to like literally actually know the name of the like world music outfit that did the real ones know if you're listening and you were a you enjoyed the geo quiz on the world I wonder if they just ran out of geo if they just ran out of places to talk about like it seems you know we do this thing on live wire called the station location identification exam now granted we have a few hundred stations that's a much more finite number than places on planet earth but if you set out to do some kind of a daily quiz five days a week you might run out of like interesting geographic locations sooner than you'd think so this was fast i just wrote a paragraph

to phyllis fletcher that says i listened to three or four random minutes of some now ask her where

That's what the GeoQuiz music is.

Actually, I will. She will. I said, I listened to three or four random minutes of some Howard Stern yesterday. I have no idea if it was old or new, but he was telling some story about a woman who was being ridiculed for serving sandwiches from Giant Eagle to Joe Paterno when he was trying to recruit her son. 17 question marks. Does that ring any bell? I can't find any evidence of the story online. She wrote back, yes. followed by another text that says the show was live today that was in the first 90 minutes he was talking to his wife about his mother-in-law so it might have been his mother-in-law okay because

because his wife his in-laws howard stern's in-laws his brother played football for penn state so this would be beth astrovsky's mother uh being probably you know attempting to make a

good impression on joe pa as they called him back in the day well in all seriousness um i i would literally just turned on the app just to see if it would work and i heard that and i was a little compelled but like i say i had to

I guess I wasn't so compelled that I kept listening, but I think it was it was late and I was just I had to move on to something. But I was definitely like, you know, it's hard not to when I think about Howard Stern, think about myself. Obviously, there's a lot of crossover there, similar hairstyle, similar sunglasses style. But I think about how I'll beat myself up sometimes about stories on this show or non stories that I try to tell on this show. And it's just like a and some of those some of those moments that I think are bad moments for myself are they live in my head. And we've said this before on the show. We don't think about like the kind of the casual enjoyment people get out of us just talking about things. And I don't know if this was a lead story for Stern, how much he thought about it before he started talking about it, if they just landed on it randomly. But like I was immediately into this conversation that I didn't even hear the setup for, you know. But all I hear is sandwiches from Giant Eagle. And was that the appropriate thing to serve to Joe Paterno? And they got me. And I'm like, if you and I have even just like one moment like that a week where somebody's just kind of like they don't even have to hear what we're talking about. But somehow they're compelled by the ins and outs of you on an airplane or in a chair at Rudy's Barbershop or whatever. I hope that we can land on that from time to time. So it's like people talking is interesting. And I'm with you, too, Luke. i didn't need that to be like a breakout segment of like howard's greatest hits check out the story from it was just like it was i just i just dipped my toe into the stream and it just took me away

now andrew um uh i agree with you 100 on all of that i'm sorry if i sound distracted but i've been doing a little bit of investigating myself on some other matters here which i'm excited to bring to you in a moment i will say this though on the subject of um of stern i actually find it very inspiring in a way in exactly what you just described, which is on my bad days, I just think what the hell even is TBTL and why would anyone listen to this? But then I think about myself as a fan of that show, the Howard Stern show. And I think about my favorite part of the program. And it's literally when he turns on the microphone and starts talking at the beginning of the show. And it's when typically he's the most distracted. It's when we're not talking to anybody famous. It's when we're not doing any bits yet It's often him just reflecting on if he got any sleep the night before Or if he was trying to stay up late to watch like the American Idol season finale It's just all this stuff that any program director would tell you is really, really bad radio And it's the part that I like the most And I try to use that to encourage myself that for a much, much, much smaller group of people That's what they like about us That's what they like us talking about And so I agree with you very much on that. Now, I've located the song that is the old school, the original, the world, P-R-I's, the world, P-R-I, R-I-P, R-I-P, P-R-I, show title.

Oh, wait. Oh, it's not distributed by P-R-I anymore?

P-R-I doesn't exist anymore.

It's all called P-R-X. It's all P-R-I. Is it P-R-X is the world? It's P-R-X is the world.

I was at an event in L.A. with Marco Wormin a while ago. That's how I know.

Marco Wormin. You know me. I'm an old school PRX head. I was sitting in small conference rooms with those guys when it was a small idea in Boston at the time. But there's something about PR. And this is, I guess, clearly how I have not listened to that mid-afternoon section of public radio you're describing. But like PRX is the world. PRX is the world. Doesn't sound right. No. Like, I need the geo—I need—even if it doesn't exist anymore, I need them to call it PRI's the world, and I need to hear this geo-quiz music.

Again, I hope to—I pray to God that when PRI was subsumed into PRX, Current Magazine, the go-to chronicler of public media, wrote RIP PRI. I mean, that's just—that fish jumps right into the boat.

Yeah, yeah. Right into the boat. Variety would have done it. We know Variety would have done it.

Absolutely. And if they could have worked in Prexy, they would have.

Right.

I think that there's a podcast now from one of those stations, public radio stations in L.A., called The Ankler, which is like a Hollywood podcast, and I love that so much. I forget what exactly.

Oh, I don't remember that term. That doesn't stand out to me.

I forget what ankles means in that kind of like Hollywood, like the old time Hollywood talk in the Hollywood media. But it would be like, Prexy, ankles, house of mouse. I think it would mean that like the president of a network has like aligned themselves or a president of a studio has like committed to an agreement with Disney. That might be like Prexy, ankles.

house of mouse or whatever okay so who are two oh i just sorry i apologize for being all over the map here andrew i'm gonna get this out of the way and then i want to tell you about disturbing series of text messages i'm receiving from the countertop people um uh so i who are when you think about a couple of musicians who are like just you're talking primo late 80s early 90s public radio if they play any kind of music if they have any kind of in like studio session at the station if they're using kind of break music uh one is an american i don't know if you'll get the international guy i only know about him because i he's very famous but also i took a music class where we learned about his music but there's it's the the geo quiz music is a combination of an american artist who i feel like i only know about because of a certain kind of public radio show and possibly host and you want me to guess it um it's a uh first name i think i wait i i don't can i try with that yes absolutely baila fleck oh you're so you're close that would be the international influence oh god okay and it's

not the fleck tones either it's not okay that was my next guess um the first thing was in the Flectones, by the way, why don't they get together?

Okay, first, the first name of the American performer, the American-born performer, is also an ingredient in, I want to say, maybe bourbon. Sometimes we'll talk about a bourbon having this flavor as a kind of a strong flavor note.

It's a flavor.

Last name sounds like a nickname for somebody's lady part.

some somebody's some sicko's nickname for lady parts it's gonna have nothing like no reasonable person would say that it's just your sick brain no no when you hear it you'll be like that was

an amazing hint luke um first name something that you'll get in a bourbon last name nickname for

lady part something you'll get what do you get from a bourbon not what goes into a bourbon no It's in a bourbon.

It's in a bourbon. It'll be like, oh, that has a, I could be, by the way, watch me be wrong about this. It's, I associate this, this grain with people saying, oh yeah, maybe I also could be mixing it up with a, no, I think this is more, more in the bourbon category than the whiskey category.

Okay.

Well, cause at first I thought it was a taste, is it smoky? And then I thought, are there any famous singers named smoky?

Monosyllabic first name, bisyllabic last name, blank, blank, blank.

I feel like whatever I'm going to say now is going to sound super dirty.

Like, now we know the nicknames Andrew uses. Grand Tetons?

There it is. That could have been Bela.

The song is D'Arabi. It's an Ali Farkatour song featuring Rye Cooter.

Oh, Rye Cooter.

Not a bad hint.

Of course. Not a bad hint. Of course. Of course. I mean, there was a period of public radio. I mean, you and I are just old men talking about the not even heyday of public radio, just our day of public radio. And God, there was a time when you could not enter a public radio station and not be given a free Ry Cooder CD.

Ry Cooder was the Waxahachie of the mid-90s public radio scene.

Because you had the documentary that he made about the Cuban musicians, right?

Was that him? Was he the?

He was like the producer in the whole. He orchestrated bringing all these.

Buena Vista Social Club or whatever? Yes, right?

And am I right? I don't know. Anyway, he brought all these musicians back together for a performance and a documentary was made about it. And didn't he also have a hand in the Oh Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack?

I think that was maybe like T-Bone Burnett.

You're right. That was T-Bone Burnett. Another guy you kind of couldn't get away from. And I sort of feel like those two things sort of came together. And there was just like a lot of overlap around. I'm not going to say it's the exact same year, But my period of public radio was T-Bone Burnett and Ry Cooter just, like, taking over the public radio area. Every bumper, man. Yes. Like, every bumper.

Yeah. So, there you go. Mystery solved. I feel pretty good about that, by the way.

I was so close with Grand Teton.

That was, I mean, I don't think that's a musician, but I like knowing the words you use for lady parts.

Thank you.

we was hoping for some razzle dazzle razzle dazzle that's right man razzle dazzle on your

mark on your mark get set get set now ready ready go everybody razzle dazzle hey let's thank some

dazzling donors these are the incredible generous long-suffering absolutely lovable people who are

keeping tbtl in business handsome handsome i mean just generally attractive handsome in that kind of

sense that's not even based on gender you know what i mean like they used to call like they used to call somebody a handsome woman back in the day like this is a this is a level of handsomeness that transcends any and all gender classification it's just a it's a level of handsomeness that only the tbtl listeners and and especially supporters will ever know i love the word handsome we're gonna

to get into the donors here in a second but yeah i use it in a totally non-gendered way because i like you see like a nice piece of furniture and you're like oh that is a handsome chest right

there but that's also how i describe you to people when they ask what is andrew really like i realized

as i was i was like am i gonna get away with that i'm like of any word i could have said dresser i could have said hutch i could have said grand tetons right i was gonna say you're like i

I love handsome. I love using it for all kinds of things. Why? I don't know. Why did I say chest? Kind of sort of world music meets Americana from the 90s. Like, that's a handsome cooter.

Yeah, it was such a... You know what? I really feel like I set us on this path. I mean, you definitely made it worse. Yes, 100%. But I feel like I've done a disservice to our first dazzler here.

Well, you better be careful because this person has a lot of sway. Our first dazzling donor today. It's Jennifer Gregerson of Everett, Washington, one-time mayor of, I think, Mukilteo, Washington, and local politician, culturally her's honor. That's right. His honor was what they used to call—actually, that's a bad comparison. I don't want to compare our good friend, Jennifer Gregerson, with Mr. Four Seasons Landscaping himself, Rudy Giuliani. But there was a time where, I don't know if it was the Post or the Daily News or some outlet in New York would just always refer to Rudy Giuliani as his honor, like one word. And we'll call Mayor Gregerson, Mayor Emeritus, her honor. Yes. Jennifer has been, maybe more critically than her time in local politics, has been a tbtl supporter and friend for so many years and come to so many shows and in other places and everything so denver made it all the way out to denver for our meetup out there exactly um jennifer says this was a very special year to renew my dazzling donation i'm thankful to continue to have tbtl to narrate my days almost every day on my way to work i get to walk by the home of a fellow 10 ashley who i met through the holiday card exchange oh nice someday we'll actually talk and play Pokemon Go. I may be a retired mayor, but I'll never retire from catching Charmanders, Cubones, Lickitungs, Louvdiscs, and more.

Don't worry, I'll beep it.

Shout out to my fellow Pokemon Trainer 10s. They know who they are. Thank you again, Luke and Andrew and John. Your work means so much to me. Well, Jennifer, your friendship has meant so much to us. We really appreciate it. I'll be honest with you, I'm heartened to know that people are still out there training those Pokemons. Me too! We got into that. You and I went and recorded a thing, but it was, for me, a fad, as so many things are. And so I just kind of figured maybe a lot of other people had lost the interest in it, but that is not the case, apparently.

You and I, I was going to say, went really deep on that. We got huge into Pokemon Go culture for an hour at Gasworks Park. Between the two of us, one of us downloaded it to their phone, which surprisingly wasn't me. Like, honestly, that's the shocker of that story, right? Because I read this and I've never played Pokemon Go except for that one afternoon that you downloaded it to your phone. I believe we called our friend Christy Wise on the phone, on the fly, like at work to tell us how to do it. We freaked out when we found a Charmander in my studio.

Yeah, it was jumping around in the corner. I remember it being, like, I'd put it right up there with seeing 15% of a solar eclipse.

All of that is to say, back to Jennifer's note, like, I read this, and I'm like, why have I never downloaded and played that? It really seems, it doesn't seem like something I would stick with for a long time, but it definitely seems like something that I would get really into at least for a couple of weeks. I could see myself, like, looking for... Thank you. Cubones on North Aurora. Cubones? I'm going to be careful which Cubones you pick up on it. I was really setting you up for that, yeah.

It just depends on which section of Aurora you happen to be cruising at that moment.

I know I've seen them in the Lowe's parking lot, and I didn't even have the app downloaded. It was interesting.

I do think this idea that there could just be some fantastical things kind of in an augmented reality that are just even, you know, they're hanging out in otherwise seemingly unremarkable spaces. I like that. Like, it's a fun, it's a very fun idea. I know I'm not saying anything, but that hasn't been thought by people like Mayor Gregerson, you know, and other people who like to train. I did, I did, I do get hung up on that term, training your Pokemon.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Because they would, wouldn't they call it like a gym? Wasn't a place where a lot of Pokemon, like Pokemon Go characters would hang out would be like a gym, right? Like a gymnasium or something?

We were doing so well. We stayed within the limits of what we knew, and now we're going to stretch. it is something like that there's some yeah you collect them and then you train them and then you make them fight in some sort of gymnasium or auditorium maybe it was is it a town hall maybe it's a town hall is it a debate type of thing i think they debate yeah well there is

obviously an equal time issue between charmanders and luv discs uh-huh right um anyway jennifer thank you so much for reals for all of your help over the years we really do appreciate you and And someday we all look forward to you and Ashley meeting instead of just exchanging cards like out of some sort of Merchant in Ivory film. Just lives of quiet admiration from afar that never transfers over into a real world conversation. Very remains of the day of you.

Hey, before you say maestro, I'm going to sneak in here. A thank you to Lisa Bryan of Melbourne, Florida. You should have been on our daily donor list a while back. Lisa, I'm sorry. Sorry, Lisa. We did you dirty. But thank you for supporting the show. Appreciate you, too. Maestro? On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dattle.

Hey, look who it is. It's Luke Hertel in Wakefield, Rhode Island.

Hey, I bet you it's beautiful there.

And I bet you that Luke had a heck of a view of that there eclipse yesterday. I know that Rhode Island is not Maine. It is not New Hampshire. But it's, you know, it's driving distance. Yeah.

My parents really, I told you before the show that I thought they were sending me a photo of the eclipse. But it was just the inside of a Jersey Mike's because they were having some sandwiches before their eclipse watching. But they did send me a bunch of photos. They had a real, you were talking about how during yesterday's show, you were saying that you'd had a lot of conversation with people about what a moving experience it was to experience an eclipse, like a full eclipse like that. And I couldn't remember having those types of conversations, but I had that conversation afterwards with my dad because he called me right as the moon was passing over the sun. He's like, it's getting really cold here. They were like, he's like, this is, I mean, they were beside themselves. And also, can I lay out here for one second here, Luke? We were also talking about welding masks on the show yesterday, you know because of protecting our eyes and when you're looking at the eclipse and stuff like that it makes sense that it would have popped up well that same conversation came up with my dad i didn't say that we had been talking about welding masks on tvtl i think he raised it and he was like my

father like son exactly and now when it comes to eye protection around bright things a walsh is

gonna walsh well no i mean this is where my dad is just like secretly uh-oh cool and tough in a way that i don't think i always talk again i appreciate he's talking about how you know he was doing a lot of welding back in the day probably in his early 20s when he was like out in the field doing a lot of welding and stuff and he said well you know what it's like before you flip down your mask and i'm like oh okay so he's already doing luke's move like luke's fantasy move of just like you know whipping your head down in the mask he's like but sometimes you're like welding outside during the day and you kind of don't realize how bright it is and you're flipping your mask down too late or whatever and you kind of don't realize until the end of the day you have and he he he said I can't remember what he called it something like like sharp spots or something it wasn't that it was something like that on your eyes he's like your eyes will literally feel gritty at the end of the day because you don't realize you've been and then he's like I yeah I went to the hospital like three times for that I was like what I'm like we've lived our whole lives together we've had a lot of conversations you used to on the reg go to the hospital at the end of a day of welding Because you felt like your eyes literally had grit in them because you're out there welding in the sun and doing Luke's cool welding mask move?

Well, not doing it, that sounds like the problem. We're not doing it fast enough. Not doing it enough. Maybe the trick, maybe the really good welders, they're secret, Andrew, because you said you had trouble doing it.

that because you couldn't see through the mask even with that visor maybe they're really good welders their secret is they start welding before they put the mask down right well i guess that's

why you do that and that is why you flip it down i guess because you've got you've already got to

get it started like get a little you know you got to prime the pump as it were and then it's time to start protecting your eyes yeah but there was about two seconds where you weren't protecting

your eyes and he said that now modern masks have like because like they're they're somehow kind of digitized or or something where that you can see through them until the moment the the spark starts then they automatically become like welding glass i mean how that's why welders are so soft now yeah that's what i always say whenever i see a welder i'm just like you're soft whenever

you see it's like a welder just like with one of those i'll tell you this those masks are the welding what do you call them welding masks those helmets have yeah along with being very high tech they're very airbrushed now depending like some people will be all it's in the way that like a hockey goalies mask is like airbrushed with like all kinds of cool stuff on it now i've seen some welding masks that are like real american flagged out and stuff it's not really my not necessarily my scene but it's like i'll just put it this way it's not the person that i'm gonna quibble with about how soft they're getting because the mask it also calls to mind and now by the way andrew we have nothing but time together you and i because uh the uh countertop people showed up we had to hit pause on the recording i had to run out and show them a kind of well where the countertops go um but they are a good they were a good 45 to 50 minutes early and the they're you know again they seem like totally nice dudes and i think they're going to do a great job but i i said to the the one guy i said oh i think you're kind of early goes well yeah i tried to call you i mean again i'd rather get this done sooner than later but you and i started recording the show early today like we did a lot of things to try to account for this window of time it just seems like with this particular company the window of time only applies when then when they're charging

me like two hundred dollars because you weren't quite ready for their window i'm just furious about this i mean again like they're there early they're doing the work that's fine i'm sure they're nice but like how is it that like they don't they can show up whenever they want they don't have to abide by their own window but you're a little bit outside of the window of operation and you automatically charge two hundred dollars and there's no wiggle room on it it is that is

and it's like uh you know i said oh you're here early well i called you well sure i mean i could i could have called ed or whoever it was who backdoored me on that 200 bucks i could have called up and said uh we're not ready yet like calling is not you know again the the the issue in all of this for me i guess is that i would like to have this done and sooner is better than later so on the one hand i'm it's actually a benefit to me but it just feels weird that none of the interactions except the first one have occurred within the window of time that was presented to me and that's the only interaction that cost me an extra two hundred dollars but that is infuriating

Flash Burns, by the way. Flash Burns is the one I was looking for before.

That was Seymour Burns' cooler brother, right?

Yeah, right? They call me Flash Burns.

But all that is to say, Andrew, that now I can really take my time with Luke Hertel's message. Because whereas we had started early on the show and I was kind of doing that thing where I was kind of constantly looking to see if the guys were here. Now they are here and they're going to work. And so we can just luxuriate in this time together, you and I and Luke Hertel in Wakefield, who says, hey, Hermanos, it is a sincere pleasure to support the pod and the mission of curing global loneliness. I'm so thrilled that you two were able to go independent and further thrilled you were able to poach Sklarov. Take that, MPR. Wow. Luke, getting. I wasn't sure if you were saying that or the other. You've been reading Current Magazine. Somebody's really deep in the public radio weeds here And I love it I've never burdened you with a request before But this year, begging the pardon of the tens I'd really like to hear some no-point opining

Oh, okay

Oh, damn, Luke

Oh, wait, hold on

Don't threaten me with a good time I'm talking to myself here now As a long-suffering Broncos fan Could you two provide me with just a bit of your soothing patter On the subject of Mr. Unlimited He certainly was unlimited in his ability to bamboozle the geniuses in the Denver front office. Thanks again. What you do is so important. So I guess we're going to put, I mean, I'd love nothing more than to talk Broncos football here and Mr. Unlimited. I mean, the irony in that, in this song, Luke's beloved team is described as some old Catalan.

It just occurred to me. Yeah, maybe this isn't the proper way to start this. You know, you rock when you roll with the Seahawks. Marshawn Lynch, Beast Moe with his dreadlocks. Rolls and passes the ball to the end zone. Touchdown. You know, we're going to get the crown in Super Bowl 2014. We get the ring, the bling. Listen to the crowd sing. Seahawks, Seahawks, Seahawks. I'll tell you this.

If YouTube doesn't block this episode in certain countries, I am going to be offended on behalf of K-Dude and Lil Hoagy.

Mm-hmm. I'm just quickly reading up on who the Broncos quarterback is so that I can weigh in on this with a certain amount of knowledge. And what I've narrowed it down to is they either will or won't draft a quarterback.

And we don't know who their backup is right now either, if that person could suit up.

It looks like they've got Jared Stidham and Patrick Sertain the second. Is that Patrick Sertain's kid as a quarterback? That's wild. Oh, is that a real—see, I don't recognize that name at all. Patrick Sertain was a defensive player. I forget for which team, and I'm going to guess this is his son. It looks like he's a quarterback in the Broncos system. I'm also reading that from certain blogs now, and so I'm just repeating, Luke, what I'm scanning quickly on the blogs, people saying a Broncos turnaround could be more likely than some are thinking if they get the QB situation right. But doesn't that just go for every team? Like, yeah, Team X might do well if they figure out the quarterback situation. That's almost that's like that's like all but like four teams in the NFL.

So I also wasn't sure if if Luke was interested in us talking about the future of Mr. Unlimited or the future of the Denver Broncos.

I'm worried that if I talk about the future of Mr. Unlimited, I'm going to bum out our friend Luke. Actually, you know, I can I can I can do this. I can do this. I am of the current opinion, Luke Hertel, that Russell Wilson is likely to have an actually a pretty good season because there is like zero pressure on him now. He's making the league minimum. He's been totally written off by everybody in the league. And and I just think that that I think he still has a little bit of I think he's got still got a little bit of football left in him. But also every time I think that every time I say something like that about another player in our text chain, like I'll go like I'll be like a Colby Parkinson hero game. And then he'll just have like two fumbles like so like whenever I like whenever I say like you guys might want to watch this player. He might surprise some people that almost always makes me look foolish. So the fact, Luke, that I kind of think that Russell Wilson might surprise some people this season means he probably won't, means he probably will play actually even worse. And I will say this about the Broncos, and this is not just my theory. This is something that I've heard said by some real football knowers. The Broncos had to eat a ton of Russell's contract But they are seen as at least having Sort of dealt in a reality-based universe With what was going on for them In other words, a team sometimes has like Well, we've already sunk so much good money into bad We're just going to try to ride this Broncos, let's ride And sometimes teams will stick with bad contracts Because they've already just got so much money invested And they can't quite bear the thought of just eating that cost and the Broncos did not do that the Broncos decided this was not something that was working for us and we're better it's better for us to move on quickly than to kind of sit around in this not particularly productive relationship and I've I've read and heard some people saying that was probably a smart move by the Broncos in terms of getting back to being a good football team sooner rather than later uh so I'll I will say that I don't know how I feel

about sean payton um a bad oh i do know how i feel about him yeah yeah yeah see that's the thing like i don't i don't have an answer for this this is just an actual question like sort of seems like they brought in it almost seems like the the um is it the old lady in the shoe no what is it like you have one problem the lady who swallowed a spider yeah swallowed a fly i don't know why and then you bring in somebody like it sort of seemed like okay they had an issue with with Russell Wilson so like okay well bring in Sean that swallowed Wilson exactly now they brought in Peyton now they're getting rid of Russell Wilson but you have a Sean Peyton problem or is that good for Denver that Sean Peyton is still there I will say this Denver and I think because

of just the the the sheer love of the Denver Broncos in Colorado like I mean it is like a religion out there I feel like Denver and Bronco fans will cite like 10 seasons where it didn't go Well but I feel like Denver is always kind of in the conversation like I feel like They usually put together a pretty decent team and i i credit the luke hurtels of the world for that like there's something about the energy out there that i feel like um i i could see the broncos playing well this year is what i'm going to say and i could also see russell wilson um kind of having a bounce back season in pittsburgh which would be you know other than the fact that the steelers did beat the seahawks in the only super bowl for for which the nfl has formally apologized for the officiating other than that I'm generally pro Steelers, you know, as far as like I like the city of Pittsburgh. It's it's you know, they see I like Mike Mike Tomlin. I think Mike Mike Tomlin tends to get a lot out of quarterbacks and I think he can get a lot out of Russell Wilson. I know none of this helps you, Luke. I think Luke probably would like for Russell Wilson's demise to continue, because if Russell Wilson goes and gets it together in Pittsburgh, that only makes the time in Denver a little bit more painful. And if that is what happens to you and you find yourself, Luke, weirdly liking the sensation, I would like to welcome you to being a Mariner fan. Yeah, that's that's a that's a that's the kind of world where you dump a bunch of players for salary who all go other places and are just mashing right now. Just absolutely. Tay Oscar hitting home runs for the Dodgers. Kalanick looking good.

Do not look. Do not look at Kalanick's average. I mean, he was he was hitting like over 500. He's hitting like 568 or something. I know it's very, very early, but it is ridiculous. What is it? What is it? Is it the uniforms? It's not the Marine layer. Is it the coaching? Like, I like Scott. I don't want to turn on Scott. I think that's a very knee-jerky fan reaction, Scott Service, the manager. But, like, I just don't – how is it that players come here and they're bad and then they leave and then they're good? Like, just consistently. Consistently.

Well, I do – I wonder. I do think – well, I mean, except for Kalanick is hitting for average, which you should be able to hit for average in the marine layer right so that's i guess that eliminates the marine layer as part of the conversation i you know look and this is not what luke asked for but it is you're getting the sports segment yeah that we want to do and luke not the not the sports segment you're getting the sports segment you deserve not the one you wanted i think that the reason that players get better when they go to their places is because they're surrounded by better players because they're going to teams that will spend more money on the supporting cast so kalanick is not like asked to do everything as a like 19 year old being brought up early or playing on a team where there's like one guy hitting over 250 like i think the problem is if you're a if you're a player who the mariners are kind of like putting a lot of expectation around like particularly in the hitting department you're often the only person in the lineup who's done anything offensively and every time you come to the plate it's like a massive pressure situation yeah whereas if you're somewhere where there's like actually three other legitimate hitters it just I think it just like lets the pressure off of you

and you can flourish that's my theory and you know I'm looking at Kelnick's stats there in Atlanta right now he's hitting exactly 500 right now that's all at bats um he's got 11 hits but to your point zero home runs and I feel like when I saw him here in Seattle and I have not watched one at bat of his uh since he left here but um when he was here in seattle he was always up at the plate like sweating he was like literally like the embodiment of that of that stressed out meme of just like the kind of sweating like kind of grimacy guy at the plate because he just felt like he had to knock it out of the park every time and now here he is like you say hitting for average you know 22 at bats is not the smallest sample size i would take that over the course of

two weeks of baseball i'm betting he hits like sixth or seventh in that lineup too probably seventh or something because oh interesting atlanta well doesn't atlanta have like a they have a pretty decent they have a really good team you know and i and and so it's like yeah i just i think that the problem is that the mariners perennially underspend because they have i was i was as i was driving the other day i had like a two-hour conversation with john stanton

in my head yeah I was gonna say how did he respond you're right about um Kelnick eight and nine like

the past couple of days in the lineup like you know and just thriving just living his best life I I actually I went around and around and around the first thought I was was I was just yelling at the Mariners in my head the Mariners ownership because of the fact that they're just they're not spending any money on the team and the team looks really bad right now and it looks bad because instead of getting better players we got more fragile players and players that were big question marks and that seems like that's not so far working and then i thought well they do own the team like they don't owe us anything and then i was like wait they do owe us something because yes we they they do not exist they're not a subway franchise that's renting out a a section of a strip mall they are a quasi public entity that only can play their games because Because they're in a publicly funded facility with all manner of tax breaks. So I went from being really mad to being like, well, Luke, let's think about this rationally, to being like, no, I'm really mad about this.

Yeah, they're not just a business. They're not just a business. There's all kinds of community responsibility, given the fact that, and it's clearly not just the Mariners in King County here, but all the tax breaks and the way we try to woo these teams. It's out of hand. And then to to block it all off and make it harder and harder and more and more expensive. Did you see that piece? And we really I mean, boy, did Luke set us up for this. God, we could just go. Nobody. This is nobody get mad at Luke.

Nobody get mad at Luke for for for lighting this depth charge. What we should really do is just start doing some no points again.

Yeah, I know. Did you see, though, in the I think the King five, the TV station around here, I wrote up a piece about how how Root Sports subscriber numbers are like super low ever since like they went up in this other tier this season and with the struggles of the team, presumably as well. And like Stanton is quoted pretty extensively. And I'm just like, well, what the F did you expect? I know it wasn't his decision to get Root Sports up into that more expensive tier, but then like all the bullshit you went through just to give them your money.

Oh, they just sent me my bill, by the way. They were like, your direct payment has been approved. And I was like you I swear that came into my inbox right as Castillo Was like giving up his Sixth run yesterday or whatever I was like you mother truckers You Rykooters You You Grand Tetons Anyway Luke thanks for supporting the show Couldn't do it without you Love it I do love that song so much I do too why can't we A, know something about sports and B, get paid to do a sports show yeah, I know

I was going to say, for me those two questions sort of answer themselves

I mean, it's like there's nothing I love more than talking about sports and there's almost nothing I know less about than sports it's funny how that is anyway let's talk not about sports here but let's talk about hair care and hair do's and hair don'ts, Andrew. Ooh. Ooh. Hair do's and hair don'ts? Have we used it as a show title before? I think that's pretty. Did you notice, did you see my subtle spoof today, by the way, on the show sheet?

I'm writing down hair don'ts. We'll figure that out later. And then your spoof, I'm re-looking at the show sheet here. You wrote, oh, yes, I did see this. You had this, do you want me to say it? Sure. the big reveal here please on the show sheet you named this segment tuesdays

main appeal yes that's what i but because we've talked uh you and i about uh how it seems like places you know haircut places really go in for the wordplay but oftentimes it's just one click over from making sense like main event would kind of work but like main appeal seems like something you'd see if you were driving through you know kind of a mid-sized town somewhere in middle america uh and there was you know bonnie the lady that cuts hair but she's cutting hair at this

little shop that she's open called like you know well main element was the one that always drove me bananas and conquered new hampshire because what is a main element that is is that a that

doesn't sound like an expression right main element uh no yeah i don't it's also confusing because you're right near the state of maine i actually had to double check that maine is yeah when i did my joke for you there that joke that i put in that was so funny um all right let's we we ran out of time like i think maybe a couple of shows in a row but uh the topic of of hair cutting has been happening a lot has been coming up on the program because i got this haircut a week ago or so first of all i was extolling the virtues of just going to a kind of mid mid market low low tech low prestige haircut situation like a super cuts or a fent excuse me fantastic sam's or what have you um because i started doing that and i was getting a really good result for a while because my haircut is not that complicated it was cheaper it was just easier to coordinate as opposed to like a more boutique place, a kind of a place that's quote-unquote hipper or whatever. Then I just got this haircut the other day where the person did almost no haircutting. Like it was really kind of crazy. And I just, I guess I decided, if this is what this person does as the haircut I've asked for, if I said, to her hey could you take more off you haven't really done anything here I don't know if I'd want to see what that result would look like I just kind of decided to like call it a $25 loss and it's kind of slink out of there and sure enough my hair is desperately in need of another cut now because nothing happened so this has been going we've been talking about this on the show and you said you've been thinking about this a little bit and we've got a voicemail from someone

about this very topic so let's get into it yeah I want to start with the voicemail first and this is in reference to not just your um i guess argument a couple of weeks ago that maybe the the more affordable haircuttery places are the way to go um but also that when you were a kid you would go and get your hair cut by people who were in training to take one of these barber jobs at a place like that and i believe were they were they free haircuts or they were deeply reduced okay so they were free and because of this you were not uh just a child but you were a model when you walked in that door right they referred you guys as the models i believe there was like

an ad in the newspaper the way that they like probably in the north central outlook that would say like models needed and then be like a phone number you call like a 206 number for like the super cuts on university way and uh and yes you were you were a practice head for somebody who was you know had the sort of limited hair cutting experience to practice on but it was described as

being a model because it sounded cooler and of course you told the story that you said you'd told a lot I did not remember the story at all about how you wanted a very specific haircut a sort of a not not a fade but some sort of a specific step cut in the day a step cut but then the person ended up shaving a heart into your hair yeah and then I believe language barrier And you said that the boss of the place or the person who was running it or the manager sort of came over and sort of unceremoniously or maybe ceremoniously like removed the trimmers from the barber's hand. Yeah. Said you've done enough here. Well, Cheryl wanted to respond to that.

Hey, Luke and Andrew. This is Cheryl and Corvallis. I could not stop laughing. Sorry, Luke, at the Jordan Knight haircut story. When I was a kid, I wasn't one of many children like Luke, but I was the child of very frugal parents. And so we would go, by we, I mean my mom would drag me to the Fagan's Beauty School.

Okay.

P-H-A-G-A-N-S. I don't know if it's still a thing, but I was also at some point a model. And I think that every one of these beauty schools has someone named Patty or Patty or Penny or Dottie, who was the dean, like Luke said, of the school. And I remember going there one time, and it was, I'm going to say like sixth grade. So I'm probably 11 years old. I'm perfectly capable of saying how I want my hair done. and I remember telling the student stylist who was cutting my hair how I wanted it to be cut and I remember her looking at me and scoffing and saying, oh, you don't tell me how to cut your hair. And I think this may have been the first time when I realized that adults didn't all know what they were doing. And in fact, that they were just making shit up as they went along. But I was not okay with that. Even at 11, I had an idea of what customer service should be. I got out of the chair, and I marched over to Penny, Henny, Patty, Dottie, whatever her name was, the dean. And I tattled on the stylist, and I repeated exactly word for word in tone what she said to me. And she was also summarily relieved of her clippers. I don't think she had an ankle holster. And I will say it also colored my opinion of perfect look and great clips until recently when I got a horrible haircut from someone at a fancy salon and I went to perfect look to get it fixed and it turned out amazing. She did a great job and now I'm always going to go see Helen at perfect look. So I'm right there with you, Luke.

Mm hmm. So this sort of sets up where I am with my hair. Yeah, what's going on right now? So I have been going to Rudy's for ever now, ever since I first moved to Seattle back in 2009. I walked into my first Rudy's for my first haircut here and I never looked back. I went to Rudy's in L.A. I love the Rudy's experience, like the people who work there. And it seems like almost no matter where I go, what part of town or what city, it's always like kind of a good and sort of predictable scene and service. And.

And in the past couple of years, as I think, you know, Luke, I've tried to maintain kind of a relationship with one barber, like go to the same person week after week. And I haven't stepped that up, I think, in the past year or so. I'm trying to get a haircut on the books as I'm leaving so that I always have a haircut on my horizon. And I'm trying to time it perfectly because I don't have a lot of hair and I'm not fussy about my hair. but especially I mean when I when I had a full set of hair I could let it grow a little shaggy or whatever my hair usually was shaggy and kind of big and I liked it that way but as a as a as a bald or somebody who's like kind of going rapidly bald like it's just like when it gets shaggy it gets stringy it gets gross and I don't like that I'm not embarrassed about going bald but I am embarrassed when it looks like I'm either trying to hide it or if it gets stringy and like I don't like that so i just want like a very simple scissor cut i don't want to buzzed i don't want like you know they'll do cleanup around the neck or whatever but like i want the scissor cut short but not like a buzz cut sort of a pretty simple pretty simple thing it is probably too pricey

at rudy's given for the what's what what you're what you're coming in with yeah exactly it's like

a 10 minute thing but i don't mind like i don't i'm not i don't treat myself for a lot of things right but it's like i like rudy's and i actually i like supporting them you know and so so i don't mind that i'm probably you know after tip now i think i'm paying like uh maybe in the 60s you know like wow a very now can you work the stash into the situation now now that you know that's

interesting now that you've now that you've worked a stash into your personal look and brand by the way it's getting fire reviews on instagram uh yeah i love your mustache man what was that was it the

the dart thing I did yeah I saw I saw a lot of reaction to um actually I got a text message you know when you get a text message you just see a preview of the message uh-huh I got a text from the stew bot like a week ago or something and it said I don't like the mustache and I was like wow that was that's glad you're away and I think it may even came in let's freaking party I think it came in during the show and I was like okay that's interesting feedback I remember that

show, your whole mood changed for reasons I didn't understand for the last 40 minutes of the program. You just kind of left. I just weeped. You kind of went away, and it was like, oh, that was

weird. No, but I just remember seeing that and not having an oversized reaction to it, just like, oh, that's curious, and then going to read the full text message later, and it said, I don't like the new mustache. I love it, which was coming from the stew bot. So anyway, thanks for making me feel good, stew bot. All of that is to say I don't know if I will be working that yeah i don't i don't think the mustache needs to be trimmed or anything although the bar so here's where i'm going with this oh the the barber that i've been going to now for the past i'm gonna say four or five cuts okay i really like her a lot the place i used to go the rudy's uh in the university district closed so i had to kind of by the way yeah i think that rudy's

is in the location that used to be the Supercuts.

The one that used to be in the U District, the one that closed recently, that's where Supercuts used to be?

The Rudy's on the Ave used to be the Supercuts where the, I know you like, heart-shaped hair cut went down, Andrew. That's a weird little, I'm 98% sure that that's, yeah, because that was on the Ave, was where the super cuts was the super cuts went away and that would i think the rudy's took over and there was a back room so it didn't happen out where you got your haircut at rudy's but there was a back room area that was like the training room for the super cuts it just had a bunch of little chairs in it and a mirror and that's where you would sit for if you were a model so i think that that rudy's you were going to was literally where the haircut in question went down that's that is

that is interesting well that's closed now so i had to make a move and now i'm going to this place in Finney Ridge and I really like it and I got kind of teamed up with a barber my first time there and she cut my hair and we had a really good talk I she we we kind of live sort of in the same neighborhood so we're talking about like various places we go etc and I just kind of liked I just like her vibe generally speaking I'm like I'll just keep this rolling but then after the first cut it was the first time in history that I had come back from my haircut and it looked good and then the next day I looked at it and I noticed it was sort of sticking up in these places kind of on the side like kind of on the edges let's see here like if i had if i had devil horn sort of like where those would be like kind of um like you kind of look like the boss in dilbert that's exactly what i was gonna say but i wasn't sure if that's too modern of a reference yeah honestly a little bit i think his points out of the side a little bit more but it was sort of like that and i was like well that's interesting and i said for the first time in history i didn't complete my thought for the first time in history i took scissors and just rounded it out a little bit Like, again, what I'm working with here is like what.

What, what, am I going to cut a bald spot into my bald spot? So I'm just like, whatever, I'll just like be very careful over my sink. And I just rounded it out a little bit. And then the next time I went back and I mentioned to her, I'm like, hey, that was a good cut last time. Do you remember me or whatever? She's like, yeah, I'm like, the only thing I noticed was like, it just, I think you left it a little bit long sort of on the rim of the top of my head. So it sort of stuck up funny. If you just like cut that a little bit closer, because I just, I'll just look like a big round head when I leave here and that's fine. but definitely don't leave any length either if you think that it's a way of like sort of covering up any kind of baldness or anything that's not what I'm going for I don't know if that's related or not but I just wanted to say like just round it out you know and she she said good I'll do that and then I came home from my second haircut and it it it lasted longer she definitely took that advice um but then I don't know as my hair is growing out there's something that is happening where it's starting to stick up on the sort of top sides again in this way that even just now before the show maybe because we're on video I put a little that Malin Getz stuff that um kind of hair um yeah pomade or whatever it's very light it's a very light touch and I put a little bit in just to get my hair to lay flat all I want is for it to lay flat and I can't figure out what's going on like I said I've now gone to her about four maybe five times and after a few days it starts to grow in a little bit funny and I gotta say it took a lot for me to give a barber feedback on my own hair which I know should not be a big deal but the kind of person I am I'm just usually like I just like I avoid confrontation even when it's not confrontational right like me saying hey this is how you could do a better job on my hair like I was I had to gear myself up for that

Why do you think I didn't sternly, sternly correct the gal at Great Clips who was talking about how she had to do Easter for her granddaughter and didn't want to be a part of it? Why do you think I didn't bring that up? Would she give me a non haircut? Exact same dynamic. I hear you.

Yeah. And again, it's not that. And by the way, when I mentioned to this barber, like how I want my hair, she's just like, oh, yeah, that sounds great. Like, you know what I mean? There's there's nothing about her personality that would make me feel uncomfortable doing that. It's just about me being uncomfortable, like kind of advocating for myself in almost every aspect of life, including in that barber's chair. So she took the here's where I am now, though. I've been going to her. So like kind of frequently. Yeah. I don't want to bring it up again. I sort of feel like I had I had my shot and I gave her some feedback and she did. I think she did change it. But it's somehow like a week after the haircut. Now it's just starting to grow in funny. I'm also losing confidence that it's her fault. Like, could this be the way she's cutting my hair? Could it just be that my head is, you know, as I continue to lose hair? Like, is it just growing out funny? And honestly, like, I like the experience of getting my hair cut. Here's where it becomes a conundrum. If I don't want to go back to her anymore, and I do for the experience and for the conversation, and because she puts hot shaving cream on the back of my neck, And then the final thing she does is, like, cleans it up with a straight razor at the very end. Oh, that sounds delightful. And it's one of my favorite things in the world. Yeah. So I love that. But I kind of don't want to give more feedback on the haircut. I don't want to change barbers, but I'm also sort of not loving the haircut. And I don't feel like I can keep going to Finney Ridge and just hook up with another barber there. No, because that's a very small location.

It really is. I've been to that one many times. And it's like none of these places are palatial, but that one's especially tight quarters.

Exactly. And, like, I know that anybody who's listening to this is like, Andrew, just give her a little bit more feedback. She sounds like a pleasant person who accepted the feedback last time and adjusted. Like, that's the thing. And you're paying $60. I'm like, I know. I'm arguing with listeners in my head already as they type out emails telling me to advocate for myself. But, like, I just kind of don't want to. And I'm thinking, honestly, if I'm going to step out, if I'm going to cheat on this barber, maybe I will. And it'll be good. I'll give you an update on the show. go to one of these more chain i mean rudy's is obviously a chain but go to one of the more affordable chains like maybe my old neighborhood oh they have a sport clip you ever mess with that

adequate sam's adequate pippins um i have been to sports clips and it is a whole situation i'm sure that's a whole different thing it's fine by the way it's it's it's the reason i say it's a whole situation is because they're deeply committed to the bit like of sports like we're a yeah we're a man cave right so well it's so uh the i used to go to the one sometimes in bellingham and listen it's the exact same haircut that you would get at a super cuts at a fantastic sam's at a great clips it's it's that same haircut the person has had that amount of training they're being paid at about that level it's the you know it's it's just like they're interchangeable in the way that like getting a burger from Wendy's is pretty.

close to getting a burger from McDonald's is pretty close to getting a burger from Burger King. Like people have their preferences, but it's all kind of a same level of, of whatever. The thing about sport clips is you sit in the seats that you wait in are like, you're waiting. You're like the seventh man on the New York Knicks. Like they're like, or actually no, it's more like you're at the game. You're not even, you're not even ready to go into the game. You're sitting right behind the seventh man at the New York Knicks.

That's what I thought. More like bleacher seat. They're not bleacher seats, but not, not the bleachers, but like, yeah, like, yeah,

like individual my memory this is probably wrong my memory is almost like you sit on the seat and then you get up and then the seat flips up like at a stadium yeah the people cutting your hair are wearing at least the one that i went to in bellingham they're wearing referee shirts and their sports it's just i've got every tv on whatever whatever iteration of pardon the interruption is on at that moment like you know what i mean and but it's just funny because it's like i don't need any of this i need a haircut i just want a haircut right now like this is all fine but if this is adding even two dollars to the experience let's you know let's just let's dispense with this we are we are people of honor referee shirts do not become us like let's just like like so anyway i was gonna say is for an adventure go to sport clips but you are you're you're entering a cosplay environment that is unnecessary for this level of haircutting

I'm actually glad to hear that they're sort of unbecoming referee shirts, though, because when I hear commercials for sports clips, you know, it's usually on like the AM sports radio station anyway, which is you clearly a lot of the advertisers are going for a very specific demographic, which is like straight male of a certain age or whatever.

And so I was now open in the lobby of divorce dads for men.

Yeah, right. Oh, my God. Those commercials for that. When they have, it kills me that probably my favorite host or one of my favorite hosts on that station is a young woman, and she sometimes has to read the liner, divorcelawyersformen.com, good lawyers doing good things for good men. I die a little bit every time she has to read that because I just think, what kind of a guy has to go to a lawyer that is specifically for men? It's not my kind of guy. I don't know.

I've been divorced a lot. I've never used a man's attorney. Maybe that's why I've come out on the fuzzy end of a couple of lollipops.

Maybe I need to. Yeah. If you're going into business saying we need somebody to represent the men in divorce, I can tell you right now that I don't like the conversations that are going on in those walls. So anyway, what were we saying? Sports clips. Oh, I just sort of, I was worried. I mean, I know it's not like a breast-er-ant or whatever they call the Hooters type of things. I didn't think it was going to be like over the top.

Grand Tetons, your place for haircuts for dudes.

I was wondering if they tried to hire like more women or if there's any. Okay, I'm glad to hear that.

It's literally like they took it.

I just made an argument for, I was just like, I'm glad they're not hiring women. Wait, what? Hold on. Don't take that out of context.

This is what happens on, Andrew. This is what happens on Drew When the woke mind virus is unchecked You get so progressive That you don't even want to hire a woman I can't wait to tell Greg Gutfeld About this

He's got some

Nightmare Fox Like show that's one of those It's like I don't know what it's called The five with Greg Gutfeld He's like oh man I saw I know we're here to talk about haircuts and listen to my neighbor Brian's dually diesel truck pull out of the driveway. I hear that a little bit. Oh, my God. When I was in the hotel on Saturday night in Iowa, we did the show. I had a really early flight the next day, so I just beelined. Oh, two things I meant to tell you about. I'll try to be really quick. I have advice and thoughts on your haircut, and I don't want to forget that. Two things that were – one thing that was funny, one thing that's not interesting, but I'll say anyway. The funny thing was Friday night when we get to Iowa, I was so hungry because we had left early from Portland. But then remember the whole thing about American Airlines and the connecting flights. So I didn't eat in the morning. And then I thought, well, I'll have something at O'Hare. We had to basically jog from the plane landing in O'Hare to get to the flight to Iowa. So there was no eating there. So now we're on another flight, which is a small flight. They don't have food. So I end up at this, I end up in Iowa as literally I get in the hotel room at the Graduate Hotel in Iowa City. I turn on the TV. There's one minute left in the game between Iowa and UConn. And I'm in the headquarters. I'm in Iowa City where the Iowa Hawkeyes are from. So you can imagine everyone is like. freaking out this was a very close game by the way and the game of course is happening as we

discussed in cleveland right but it's just like the city is yeah and i'm in this nexus of all the

college bars for the university of iowa and i watch the end of the game iowa wins and i just look out my window which looks out on this kind of town square and i just see a drunk super enthusiastic iowa students just pouring out into the town square and it's so charming and i'm so happy for them but i see them all descending on this euro stand that i was going to go to to get my dinner at line it goes from no people to 100 people are now going to try to get a euro from this like food truck that i was like oh i'll walk down there i'll get some food it'll be great so i'm like i go on doordash and i'm like okay what can i doordash in here um i'm so hungry but also i'd hope i can get here relatively quickly and i was really in the mood for like a hamburger like product i'm seeing a lot of that stuff on on tiktok late like smash burgers and things so i see this thing called wild burger which has these really great artisanal looking burgers and i scroll down they have a black bean one so i was like cool i'll get to kind of so i'll get a little um flavor of iowa city and so i i order this burger from wild burger and um and there's nowhere in the like doordash instruction to tell them i would like to have some ketchup on the side and i gotta have gotta have my ketchup with my french fries so i order the thing and then i i realized well maybe i can call them and just and i was like oh this is pretty awesome this is going be here in like 30 minutes that's really fast for this wild burger and uh so i call them to to say hey i'm i just ordered can you throw some ketchup in i call ring ring buffalo wild wings i got ghost kitchens by a buffalo wild wings yes wild that wild burger to me with zero like it was this was pretty good by the way andrew when i tell you how much this was wait wait it was good the

way they they they was well played up on you good it was well played hamburger it was well you know

the burger wasn't bad yeah it was not bad i i i it it was better than i was expecting andrew when i was on the phone this is so kaiser so say ring ring buffalo wild wings i'm looking out the window and like 80 feet away is a buffalo wild wings uh-huh that's what i had just door dashed from Well, that's how it's going to get here in 30 minutes. It's 600 feet away. The B-dubs that I just ordered a burger from their, what was it, P.J. Pasquale's pizza or whatever.

Right, right, right. And remember, I got secretly ghost kitchens with a Red Robins pizza one time. I ordered a pizza around here, and then it came from Red Robins. Not bad. Donato's. Donato's, good memory, yeah.

Donato, as bad as you were expecting.

Yeah. it was it was and it was a square pizza which i like it was like a thin crust square pizza but yeah so and the burger ended up being okay it wasn't bad ketchup i got my ketchup the person

was really helpful um the it was piping hot which i got to give credit to that the b-dubs and also to the guy that brought it like really the end of the story was it was fine but i think of myself as a experienced traveler and door dasher and like a knower of these things and it's just like I was just like, wow, man, I just got outfoxed by by I just got out buffaloed by that wild wing. That's very clearly supposed to sound like Will Arnett.

This would be the perfect time to wrap up the show. But instead, I'm going to introduce this topic. How did the ketchup come? Was it the little packages, the class, the classic little? Yeah, I don't like that. I don't either.

You have to tear open so many of them. Yes. To get to a usable amount of ketchup.

And why does it ick me out? I love ketchup. I've always eaten ketchup. There's nothing about ketchup that I find gross as opposed to mayonnaise, which I'll eat a little bit of now. But generally speaking, like the idea of like scooping mayonnaise out of a jar kind of makes me gag a little bit. I don't know why. But ketchup, I like everything about ketchup. But somehow when I'm holding that little dang pack in my giant fat fingers and I'm trying to rip open one little corner of it and I'm not trying to squeeze any out. I'm just trying to open it. But some of it squeezes out anyway. I'm so grossed out by that.

It's impossible to avoid getting it on your hands, and it's a tiny amount of ketchup. The thing that I want with ketchup is to dip my French fry in an amount of ketchup where I don't have to be worried about where's the bottom of this experience. I don't want three squibs of ketchup in the cardboard container. I don't want a quibi of ketchup. okay well maybe that's better than hairdos and hairdos i don't want a quibby of ketchup that

like the whole time that i'm i'm like okay which fry is gonna be the one that eventually eliminates the last of this ketchup i don't want to get it i don't want to have to make any hard choices around around like i want i want too much ketchup so that there's honestly probably some waste at the end yes because i'm just kind of like eating my french fries with the ketchup and kind of just, you know, not thinking about like, am I about to run out of ketchup? Am I going to open another one? You're right, like, tear it, but it's too much, and then you squeeze it out, and it's like kind of going everywhere. It's not a pleasant experience. There was something that I was going to say about the Saturday night there, although I'm guessing it wasn't all that interesting, because I said, one thing is interesting, that was the wild wings, and the other thing is not, and that's the thing I've already forgotten, which is probably the universe telling me something.

You did say that you wanted to give me some advice on the haircut. Okay, so here's I probably have one on the books right now. This is the thing.

With the same person.

Yeah, because I book it now in advance so that I – Basically, if I wait until I need a haircut to get it, this is a mistake I was making. It was getting long and stringy, and I'm like, I need to discipline myself. I think it's like eight weeks or nine weeks. I can't remember. It's like the perfect time for me to get a haircut.

So, okay, that answers a question I had, which was, are you pre-scheduling these because it's helpful for you or because you don't like the conflict of saying no because i get asked not anymore now that i'm going to down market haircuts um where they may or may not cut your hair but when i was going to the rudy's in portland there was always that like hey um do you want to schedule your next one and i would always oh really yeah oh no i never got that this was my

idea i always have to say this i'm like is it okay if i book the next one i know it's portland

operations have been coached up because i think the portland ones are kind of suffering like i told you i get like so many emails from them like hey we're still here come on by get your and i was increasingly there were like there was like no line like there was a period of time like during the pandemic was probably the pandemic affected it right like just everything the capacity of everything but like there would be a thing where like if i woke up on a tuesday and thought oh i need to get a haircut today everything would be booked i'd be like thursday or friday before i could get a window of time now it's like you go on there it's like we have 30 appointments available today so i don't know if that's just the portland operation or what's going on but they're always trying to get me to commit to a haircut and i'm always like i just i i can't tell you what my schedule is going to be in four weeks or whatever but you're doing this because you you want to do this so that's that's one thing i i guess my advice was going to be if we're going to take the scientific method for this of like of sort of testing and comparing data etc i mean you have to get a haircut from someone else somewhere else between now and the next time that you go to this rudy's person because you're not going to learn anything from getting your haircut you're not going to get any usable data from getting your haircut from this person again because there's a few possibilities one they're not cutting your hair correctly two your hair has changed your head and your hair have changed to where this is now just something that you're gonna have to deal with this kind of uh Dilbert boss which is a possibility like I was thinking

that like oh it's a possibility it's just because this is where I am in my hair growth these days but the thing is like it happened immediately with my first haircut with this particular barber

you know what I mean I think what it sounds like is that hair has actually been cut too short

correct because when your hair has been cut to i think it's been left too long if it starts

is it sticking up because think about the physics of it sticking up to me is like there's not enough hair it doesn't weigh enough so now it's going boing whereas if it's longer think about like a like did benjamin franklin's hair ever stick up that sounds like that's some sort of a riddle

hey hey do you want another piece of pizza hey did benjamin franklin's hair ever stick up i just

I'm saying it seems to me like if it's sticking up in a way that is not to your liking, the longer the hair is, the more it is going to lie down, the more it's going to stay down, where if it's shorter, it's going to boing up.

But I'm not. But why is it growing into that, though? I don't know. That doesn't make any sense. Why would it be good when I come home and then a week later?

That completely blows up my theory. But what I was going to say is you have to. You have to go to a tremendous Terry's between now. You need to cancel your, you need to, you need to fake a medical event, cancel your fine Frank's, I'll go to an okay Oliver's, you need to cancel your next appointment at Rudy's, you need to schedule in something at a very, very forgettable walk-in type of situation, and then you need to, and then you need to see, mid mics? What did you call it? Middling mics. You need to go into one of those places that you need to get your hair cut and you need to see if your hair does the same thing. And if it does, then the likelihood is that it's just what your hair is doing. And I don't think that you're cursed with this. It just means you need to come up with some new terminology, some new ways to describe what you want to have happen and not have happen. Because now you'll just have to describe it differently to the person cutting your hair saying, okay, starting with, how do you feel about Scott Adams' rightward drift? Okay, so you are familiar with Dilbert. All right.

Nobody saw that coming.

Okay, so we do have a shared language around the Dilbert comment. Now, remember the boss. Remember how his tie did a weird thing? Well, his hair also did a weird thing.

I know you're thinking of the tie first, but just put that aside. Go up.

Go up from the tie towards the hair. Do you remember Ron Tabor? He was a Washington State politician who looked – he did his hair like the boss in Dilbert. And do you remember Luke Burbank and Caitlin Duffy used to always call him Ron – we would call him Dilbert boss behind his back, the Ron Tabor guy?

Is this the person – wait, is this the person who – how did you know this person? Ron Tabor or my friend Caitlin? Oh, you said he was a politician.

He was a conservative politician in Washington, Washington politics. I'd be quite surprised if he was still with us. Oh, maybe he is. He was, I think my memory is he was a conservative political figure. Not like I don't think he had elected office, but he might have had like an appointed office or a job. And he would, you know, make the rounds and do his sort of conservative speechifying down in Olympia. But he had a really interesting hairdo going on. He had one of the few ever like comb up, comb up and over and around. This really predated like Trump's hair being what it is now, which is oddly the second reference for that today. But like it wasn't so much a comb over as it really started around the base of the neckline and the sides and then went up and over. and um and and when he used to come in to do like uh you know appearances on kuow on the local shows and stuff caitlin and i would always marvel at the the hair but what it really looked

like to me was the hair of the boss in dilbert i see he was um he has left us he has left greeted he is he was greeted by his savior on monday september 6 2004 according to your bit what did

they say about about uh wasn't he with the like um was did it say what his um was oh he retired

in florida it looks like um let's see here this is just like the obit that is on the on the page of the like funeral service okay there was no it didn't really give us oh here the trinity foundation has a headline ron taber was an extraordinary man he feared god um i will uh

maybe so dig into that i will say print that out so you can hand it to the person cutting your hair to establish a really solid foundation around the dilbert discourse i would say read this and

imagine what the guy that is written about look like there's no picture it looks like there was a picture but the internet won't show it anymore it's so old i have another my next haircut is on the books for uh the thursday 2027 may may 16th uh so that's when i did the math uh standing there They're like, OK, that seems like when I'll need another haircut. So I don't know if I want to cancel this one. I guess I could cancel it and go to another place. But I still need to kind of circle that date on the calendar because I believe that is when I'll be needing a haircut. But the thing is, like, I really do enjoy. I mean, I guess a barber isn't your friend, I guess, is maybe what I need to realize. I'm not renting a friend for $60 for 20 minutes.

Well, no, I mean, there's a third way, which is to try to think about a different way of describing this to this person that you like chatting with, you know, who's generally done a good job, except for the last couple of times. If you can come up with a, again, print out the Dilbert thing, Andrew. That's your only chance on this whole thing.

I'll print out the Ron Tabor thing.

Print out Ron Tabor's obit. Bring it to the Rudy's on Finney Ridge. Hit Red Mill Burger on your way home. Please tell me that's still around.

I don't know. I'm not sure. I can't picture it.

Red Mill Burger, it's an institution. It's just down. I mean, it's a stone's throw from that Rudy's. Have you ever been driving on Greenwood when it does that big curve on Finney? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. If you failed to negotiate that left turn, you would drive into Red Mill Burgers. I'm surprised.

Is it like a tavern? Can you sit at the bar? Because I think I went in there for a meal. I don't think they have beer. No, okay, so it's not like a bar, huh?

No, I think it's kind of a family friend.

a burger place that's oh it's right no it's what i it's yes right at the s curve and when you're heading south right north no no i'm uh what's the opposite of south it's north yes now i know exactly um the i know exactly the curve you're talking about to the wild burger yeah it's right next to the buffalo wings and whack oh god that's that makes me yeah that makes me hungry side of it it is still there i've never set foot in this place but you're right should i go get a oh it's i mean it's uh i don't eat a lot i don't i mean not that i dislike burgers but i said like i'm not like i guess i just don't eat that many burgers i don't think about it as a meal option

all that much i'm i'm surprised you and vives haven't um haven't you know just kind of out of I don't know what you would call it, just like full Seattle immersion gone there because it's one of those kind of places that I feel like it started when I feel like I was maybe a teenager when it came around. It's not like something like Burger Master that predates my existence on the planet, but it's definitely been there for a good 25, 30 years now. And, yeah, it's kind of a fun, you know, Saturday afternoon kind of thing. I love that whole area, that Finney Ridge area. That was my buddy Cody Gilnick lived up there who I played baseball with. And, yeah, I just I just I love that little that little part of town. I guess they have a couple of different locations, huh?

Oh, OK. I only know about the Finney Ridge one. There's OK. Yeah. OK. Now I'm seeing this again. Yeah, I think I ended up being in the wrong place. Now I'm curious about what that little hub was, because I'm wondering if that was also an institution.

Well, there was a place called the Chupacabra across the street that had like a kind of sizable deck in front of it that's like across Greenwood or Finney. I don't know if it's Finney or Greenwood there, but across. You know, I'm just now, I'm hearing this, Andrew. I'm imagining Howard Stern saying it. I'm thinking not even I would be interested in that.

I think I am looking at it. I'm seeing El Chupacabra, but I think it's like next to it or something. But anyway. Okay, well, that seems like... Oh, I know. It seemed like a really old school little pub. You went in there, like a bunch of old men eating soup, but it was really crowded, though, for like a random Wednesday or something.

Yes, and it was like, I feel like it was kind of brick-looking. It was called Something Haas, right? Was it the Something Haas? I don't know. I'm boring myself back to death now.

I know. What are we doing here? I mean, we're very near the end of the show there.

I think we chased a lot of the listeners with our sports talk anyway. I am seeing the countertop guys they keep leaving the house with what looks like all of their tools and putting them in the truck but then they keep going back in I don't know but I need to get in there I gotta get eyes on this

Sip and Ship is the name of another place around there which I don't know if I like that

Courthouse the Courthouse Tavern right wasn't that what it was called oh maybe let me look it up or the Snow Goose or the Courthouse

The Snow Goose or the Courthouse it's one of those two Courthouse Tavern and Table I'm looking at the inside of this place Is this what you were thinking of? By gum, I think you've done it. I'm looking at the inside of this place. There's the little bar, very bricky inside there. I think this is the place I went. I think this might be it. Nicely done. You could really use a win here.

We got one, finally. All right. I need to get eyes on this countertop situation because if it's not exactly the way I'm hoping, I don't know how to fix it.

so this is i'm looking at a place in north carolina nope that's not it wait i was literally looking at wait it just had a sort of similar layout but i was looking at it like this looked

a little bit too high-end i think i got it right i don't know i was like this looks just a little too high-end and too trendy sort of um that's not it it's ed's courthouse but it's k-o-r-t-h-a-u-s It's 6732 Greenwood, and I am very, very confident that this is, but it's Kort Hoss, so K-O-R-T-H-A-U-S.

No, this isn't it. No, the one I'm looking at says it's a dive bar that's permanently closed on Greenwood, and this place wasn't divey. It was very like, oh, I'm looking at this place. Wow, that looks like a cool dive bar, but no, this place was more of like a, I don't know, you'd go in there like kind of a winter Seattle afternoon, and it would be very, very cozy, and old men would be eating soup and probably, like, debating politics or literature or something.

But you're not thinking of Sully's Snow Goose Saloon, which is 6119 Finney.

That could be it. Snow Goose. Let's take a look here. Just keep this rolling. Okay, now I'm looking at the inside again. Now the inside, duh, I don't remember video games. I do read, yeah, Big Wooden Bar. This might be it. Big Yellow Taxi. Hot.

I've lost all confidence in myself. Is it in North Carolina or not? This might be in North Carolina. This looks too small. No, I think this is too small. Okay, so you are thinking of the Buffalo Wild Wings. Oh, my God. The important thing is it was good content. The whole thing was good. Good content. We got to get out of here. All right. Oh, my God. What have I done? This was on me just trying to name nuts. I just really were so close. Trying to flex. I didn't want to let go. I feel like we're so goddamn close to it. The listeners will help us. when I go get my bad hair cut.

You might also, Andrew, maybe today just honestly had a professional obligation. You might need to go tootle up Greenwood and Finney or Greenwood find yourself whatever this cozy tavern was, have yourself some soup, have yourself a pint and solve the mystery for us. I mean, I feel like this, honestly, everybody wins in this scenario. I will say that

that was a really painful five minutes of the show but maybe the only thing that could possibly save it would be if I had a report for you tomorrow of what this place is that I'm thinking of. Let's do it.

Again, I love this for everyone. All right. Hey, thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to be back here tomorrow with an answer to the mystery of Andrew's favorite tavern and a lot of other stuff as well, so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. Go Junior Sluggers. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to you all.

Hi, this is listener Megan, and I'm curious what subject Professor Bananas teaches. Is it history? Meow. Power out.