Muse

In the lee of a picturesque ridge lies a small, unpretentious winery, one that pampers its fruit like its own babies. Hi, I'm Moira Rose, and if you love fruit wine as much as I do, then you'll appreciate the craftsmanship and quality of a local vintner who brings the muskmelon goodness to his oak chardonnay and the dazzling peach-crawl-bat-pull to his Riesling Rioja. Come taste the difference good fruit can make in your wine. You'll remember the experience, and you'll remember the name. Herb Ervlinger. Bert Herngreif. Erv Herblinger. Bing Livehanger. Liveling Bert Herkern. Bingo Lingf***er.

Oh, look who decided to come in tardy. Now, don't think it's okay to just roll in here at 100 kilometers per hour like you're Joel Otto with the Calgary Flames.

This Canadian-wrapped, Jumpman, Jumpman, them boys up to something. Uh-oh-oh, I think I need some Robitussin. Do you believe that?

I do if you do.

But it's absurd.

Get out. Are you going to get out there? You're going to get out there? For what? Like just, yeah.

Actions speak louder than demonstrations. Let's get to some of the action right now.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

It feels wrong, but it's oh so right.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

You're allowed to do this. Nobody's talking about it. You can do this.

coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched high above the mighty columbia where we are very very excited on this monday morning because all of these huge ships from the u.s navy that have been down in portland for fleet week are going to be heading out of portland and back up the mighty columbia and i might even see a couple of them as i'm recording this broadcast today i just saw a coast guard cutter go by which i don't know if that's related or not but maybe they're doing some sort of you know advanced work making sure everything is copacetic anyway i'm very excited it's a sort of reasonably nice day here i'm on two different kinds of allergy medicine which uh could be dangerous it definitely has me feeling somewhat hi a highly paranoid very large individual talking a bunch of nonsense so i um switched over to allegra i went to costco yesterday with becca and and bought a new kind of allergy because over the weekend the one i was taking which was like some generic thing from like cvs wasn't working enough what would happen was i had to take one every hour and the recommended dosage is one every 24 hours so i was exceeding that and so we got this other one i got this allegra and i took that this morning and i immediately felt like my head was a balloon that was detaching from my body so and it also didn't seem to do much to address the allergic condition so i just grabbed one of the generic ones and gobbled that down and well here we are folks it's episode 4224 in a collector series let the fun begin and just about anything could happen i um uh have been really getting into

this netflix show i love television i've got to have that thing on 24 7. i love the patter

it's this john mulaney thing everyone's in la it might even be done it was a limited release six episode thing they were doing like a live talk show it came up on the program previously And I think the first one that I watched, I had real high expectations, and then it kind of didn't deliver on that, so I sort of wrote it off. But for some reason last night on a whim, I decided to watch the second episode, and I really enjoyed it. I don't know if my expectations changed or what, but I'm digging it. I am less enamored with one of the latest projects from American Treasures, Barack and Michelle Obama. They've got another show out that I was very excited about, and I started watching it last night. I was, I don't know, kind of underwhelmed. So I will give you my picks and pans when it comes to television. And also, I've made a major face-related decision. Look at this face. What do you see? That could change everything for me. And I'm going to tell you and my friend Andrew about it. Speaking of my friend Andrew, he is the longest-running Cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's also a pretty good spoofer.

I'm joking.

I'm joking. And he's joining me right now, by the way. Good morning, my friend. Good morning.

luke two of the most i would say this is related to the medicine that you're on i would say two of the most indelible images or sensations i would say that commercials tv commercials have imprinted on me are the balloon head that you described when you're in too much like kind of cold medicine during the day you can i don't it was it wasn't allegra right what was the commercial was a day quill or something that had the commercial where it had a kind of a sketchily animated or simply animated person. I think it was a guy in a tie, maybe. And then he takes the medicine and his head starts to float away like a balloon and he tries to grab onto it. Sudafed. Sudafed. That really sticks with me. And the other one is nose blindness. Of course, I've mentioned it many times on the show before. One of the air fresheners talks about nose blindness. I think it's, oh, I can't remember the name of the air freshener, but I'm pretty sure I use it. Probably Febreze or something. Febreze, exactly. The idea that just because you don't smell it don't mean it don't stink.

I have a feeling you would prefer nose blindness over blind blindness. Or sorry, the opposite. If you had to choose, if you were going to go blind in one of your senses, you might actually take your eyes over your nose because that is how much you do not want your house to smell bad.

I don't want my house to smell bad, but if it does, I want to know that it smells bad so that I can do something about it. That is certainly true.

Sort of your deepest fears that I've noticed.

And my friend, you know, Hannah, who I do the Spotless podcast with, you know, she's somebody who we can, she's one of my most like kind of honest partners when it comes to stuff like that. Like if something is messy or stinky or whatever, we can be very frank with each other about that. But, you know, the problem with her is she doesn't have a strong sense of smell. So like she's the person I trust the most. she's also just a frank person so if she comes over to my house i can say hey does it smell funny in here if it smelled funny to her trust me she would tell me not right not unkindly but she would tell me but the problem is she's like no smells fine to me but don't forget i don't have a keen sense of smell and i'm like what good are you that's what i say to her and it's not very

polite becca has probably the most highly developed sensitive sense of smell of like anyone that i know we'll be somewhere and she'll just be like oh are you she'll be like oh are you smelling that right now or like she just notices scents very very um sort of keenly and the problem with that is like i'm a human being i try to keep things pretty regulated around the bodily odors of all the different kinds of varieties but it's like what you really kind of would like your partner to be nose blind honestly it's a gift that's what you're looking for you don't want your partner to have the most keen sense of smell in the history of human like there's no what's the upside of that maybe there may be a carbon uh like a carbon dioxide leak or carbon monoxide i should say we have to get out of here that'd be the one time when you want your partner to have like does it smell like rotten eggs in here oh my god the furnace is leaking get out of the house but every 99 of the time what it means is if something is malodorous about me or my house or anything it's like she's going to probably pick it up she doesn't know she does not ever tell me oh hey you need to take a shower or have you considered brushing your teeth lately like uh you know she doesn't like tell she doesn't indicate to me that she's like smelling things about me that are less than great but it just stands to reason that she is because she's smelling things from a hundred paces that i have to have my nose way up way up in that situation to notice

No, she's in Oregon right now. She's probably in downtown Portland, if I know her schedule. And I do. And you do, oddly. She can probably smell my house from here. Can you text her and ask her if my house smells? She can probably pick that up from there. I was going to say.

I'm getting her response.

Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.

It would have been great if that drop was actually at the right volume.

Does everybody imagine you heard something there that sounded like Spock?

Just pretend that it sounded like this. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space.

I feel like that's a bad combination for you. I'm not trying. Listen, I just literally said on the radio that Becca is not right for you. I don't mean it that way. I think you guys are a lovely couple. What I mean, though, is you out of anybody, anybody that I know are most concerned with. And I would say lean towards paranoia, if I can say that without being rude, when it comes to smells like, you know, you're always chewing gum. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, but I also think that, like, your own sensitivity to smell has made you very paranoid about your own smell. And we've talked about that on the show before. I've never I've never gotten a whiff of any but anything other than pleasantness and sometimes a little haughtiness.

Well, I've told you the incident that broke me. I probably told you this the last time the topic came up. It was day two of maybe a three-day poker bender at Hollywood Park Casino in Inglewood, California. the old one by the way that now it's all fancy it's so fi and and mike peska and i were there playing poker and at some point and this is probably eight in the morning but we had started at you know eight the previous night i'm talking to him about something and he just takes out a piece of gum and he literally places it in my mouth no i didn't if you mentioned that i've forgotten that i was probably also down a few hundred bucks i was probably you know crashing off of whatever yeah substances i'd been abusing the night before and it somehow just really and he didn't do it to be he didn't say anything he didn't like it was it was actually it was a sort of a kind way to address the situation there was it was very practical and in a way it was both unsubtle but also kind of subtle uh-huh he just he just but it was it was also it was a stick of

gum this is very catholic this is i know you've never taken communion before but this is very

close to what i grew up doing i had also a smudged cross on my forehead but it had nothing to do with ash wednesday some other stuff i've been getting up to there but like he just and it was back when like it was again the kind of gum that i feel like has really fallen out of favor which is a stick of gum that's wrapped in foil like i feel like we don't do that as much anymore gum has now been turned into a pellet product yeah it's in these little blister packs and things or and now i've always got that thing in the cup holder of my car you know that they've they've made the gum container that just sits in the cup holder like um but this was old school he takes it out he unwraps the piece of gum and I don't even know what's going on and then he just he says body of Christ

he does

the body of Christ compels you to stop raising well okay fine this was actually was more the exorcist than the communion there was no transubstant there was no way to transubstantiate that jack-to-off suit Andrew

I was gonna get caught

on that and I did but he just kind of folded the gum into my mouth and then we just continued the conversation And again, it was actually a very nice, a very friendly way to handle it, but it certainly made an impression on me. And I think I've been living to avoid that moment for the intervening 20 years.

You mentioned that you were in the grocery store recently and you thought of me or something. You said more and more of your, I don't think you said this, but I am interpreting it as more and more of your brain space is taken up by me when you're in shopping related situations, especially grocery shopping situations.

It was happening to me in Costco yesterday. I was buying stuff. And I was thinking about your conversation. I was taking a flyer on a big bag. I think it may be literally the thing that Genevieve took a flyer on. I bought a big bag of frozen blueberries, strawberries, and might be raspberries. Yeah, is that one bag?

Oh, mixed. Well, at least you did that. No, what Genevieve got was one of each, and she ate about a third of them, and that was two years ago, and our freezer is still filled with those berries. I'm not allowed to bring it up anymore.

I'll tell you what this bag of mixed berries is sitting right next to in the freezer. A bag of blueberries that I got like two times ago at Costco that I have not even engaged with. I don't know if I thought the problem with those blueberries I bought was that there weren't enough strawberries in them.

Yeah, right.

It makes no sense logically that I would expand my inventory of this product. But I just felt like, I don't know, summertime is coming. I'm on this mission to, per always, I'm kind of on this mission to maybe eat a little bit better, eat a little bit more whole foods, you know, sort of try to be a little less processed with what I'm eating. And I just, I have this vision of myself here at the Madrona Hill studio on a summery day, just grabbing some healthy fruit and eating it and feeling satisfied and thinking that's going to be enough. There's no historical precedent to think that that's going to work,

but I remain hopeful. And you were thinking about breaking my Costco rule, which is if you didn't already buy small bags of this don't buy the biggest bag of this i did one good thing though yesterday i just wanted to say about your berries though i'm worried about one thing and maybe i maybe i'm wrong about this and maybe you have more experience with this than me but like when genevieve bought those berries i tried just having some as a snack because i wanted them out of the freezer but the thing is i think those are sold the big frozen bags in costco aren't they sold more like uh as a juicy ingredient for something yeah she she buys them so she can make like shakes out of them or whatever you smooth these out of them and like maybe if you're going to make like blueberry muffins maybe you would use those i found it to be pretty like once they defrosted a pretty a pretty wet affair but i i could be wrong that's what i was worried about and i even asked

becca i go do you think i can i literally said do you think i can defrost these and just eat them as a snack and she said sure um and i think she might have i think she might have been improvising in that in that moment because that's kind of my concern i also don't own a blender so there will be no there will be no fruit juicing or shake making with these like the idea literally was just to have um now here's the other thing she eats those kinds of things frozen oh yeah she eats frozen banana chips too like she'll like slice up a banana and then put it in the freezer and then just eat frozen pieces of banana

That's interesting.

Have I mentioned this is the cleanest eater in the history of the known universe?

That's really interesting. I don't eat bananas, but if I did, that might be the way to do it. It's pretty good, actually. I think consistency is one of the things I don't like about bananas.

I definitely, though, am at the age now where there's one side of my mouth I can chew frozen stuff on and one side I can't. Yeah. As I've said before on the program, getting old usually involves having a good side of your mouth to chew on, because the other side could be a little, you know, there could be some tooth pain or some kind of danger there.

Now, there's a reason I brought up the grocery store because I wanted to mention it, but I also cut you off to make my final point about berries. Before I go back to me thinking about you at the grocery store, was there something else you had on your mind?

Well, just that I did, I was proud of myself in one decision that I made, which is I'm running low on ketchup, and I keep putting it on my list, and I keep forgetting to grab it at the store. And, of course, that's something they've got at old Costco, but what do they have? they have not one ketchup it's first of all the ketchup the the container of ketchup is larger than any container of ketchup i would normally buy but it's also so much cheaper but then it was on one of these green little kind of you know connective kind of pieces of plastic that it had another one right next to it now these two things are enough ketchup for me and anyone who visits for probably two to three years yeah maybe three years worth of we don't go through that much

ketchup we always have to have it because we use it but it takes forever to i buy i always buy the smallest little ketchup i don't care if it's twice as much i buy a small little ketchup i don't want

to take up all that space in my fridge but the psychology of being at costco and i know you don't really love costco and you love going to the grocery store every day or a lot and just getting what you need um but the the addiction around being at costco for people that are wired the way i am and maybe the way genevieve is is you you really cannot beat the cost per unit of whatever it is and so i went to grab this ketchup but i was like i'll just put one of them in the basement i guess and i grab it and i realized oh andrew it's not two ketchups it's three there was a third one hiding be be connected it was a triangle of this kind of you know rings of plastic that are holding them together and there's no buy you can't buy one of

them you can't buy two you gotta buy three of them and again did you see it and say clever girl I panicked. I did.

And I it sounded just like a dinosaur too. That was the most surprising part of it.

Classic sound that we all know.

So I pulled it out. I put it in the cart because I was in a fugue state with all of this stuff. Because honestly, I live here primarily by myself. There's nothing at Costco that's really the right amount of anything for me. But it's so much cheaper that I get caught up in this, well, I'll have you know, here's the one thing from costco that i've actually gone through and and have found that they're very hard to source

in other places he's waving his finger at me um very aggressively i want the listeners to know

you're pointing it because i think you're behind this you're leading you're pointing your finger into the camera and waving it at me because i frozen salmon patties my friends like like little burger patties of salmon which is one of my number one i eat fish again and it's one of my number one things that I like to make I you know it's I make this little slaw that goes with it that Becca kind of hipped me on and like I'm it's a delicious relatively healthy thing that is fun to make in the summertime and I bought this at Costco this like 12 pack of these like salmon patties and then I went through them pretty fast which again I am the kind of person who usually buys things at Costco if I do and they're frozen they just live in my freezer indefinitely this is the one thing i got all the way through and i was like oh well i'm gonna get some more of them at my local safeway guess what they don't sell them and then i went to my uh local walmart they don't sell them they're surprisingly hard to locate there's various salmon products there's fresh salmon there's salmon fillets there's all kinds what they are weirdly hard to find are is this particular kind of like frozen salmon thing so i got more of those when i was at well that but that's that's

totally within the rules right this is something that you know you love something that you know you eat you've you've you've field tested this you've bought in the two and four packs at the at the grocery store time after time now it's time to step up a bit that to me is the proper way to

costco but each thing that i purchase each thing that i bring down off the shelf and put in the cart is this like dilemma of am i going to use all of this or is this just going to go to waste but it's so much cheaper than if i bought it at the other store but if i waste it does that negate any savings it's like it's it's like i mean becca needed replacements for her um you know um electric toothbrush i have one of those ones that's you know oral b i think yeah you know and she has the same one they sell them it's like an eight pack of replacement heads it's

Oh, wow. We went halfsies. I Venmo'd her $30 for half of, literally. Venmo'd her $30. I was like, well, we can split this up, and then we're both only stuck $30 on this whole thing. So let's see.

Did you say it was eight heads for $60?

I think it's eight replacement heads for $60. Eight replacement brushes for $60.

So $30 for four. Yeah, that gets up there. Although they'd last a decent amount of time. But that actually, for me, that might be a good feeling because that's the type of product. Toothbrushes I would replace somewhat regularly, but those heads, for some reason, I always have to lay. I don't know. There are certain things in our life, and maybe I'm just getting more and more infantilized. But Genevieve is always looking to save money on things like that too where she has a system, right? So I don't buy those brush heads anymore. I say to Genevieve, hey, can you get me more of those brush heads? I don't know why I just don't buy them myself. It seems like it's a more difficult purchase that has to be done by Genevieve.

i will tell you that man that was the tooth brushing of a lifetime last night when you got the fresh one on there and then i did a whole thing where i like i washed the toothbrush you know really well because you know i'll get a little bit of toothpaste situation so like when you take it off i took the time to like yeah yeah i took it all apart i got i scrubbed it so it's like you know i scrubbed the base yeah because you know the base will get a little weird just kind of dust and stuff was like the that situation is now really pristine for like two days or

whatever and what did you use to scrub the base and scrub the um you know i used a scrub daddy okay well you know that you know what the hack there is and i learned this from former tbtl sponsor quip because they actually put it in their instructions when replacing heads is you use the old brush head to clean the gunk off of the thing it's all right there that is very

that's very clever i'll do that i'll do that in four years when i replace this brush head Here's the thing though, Andrew, I did, I was proud of myself, I pulled the ketchup out of the cart, I pushed the ketchup for like 10 minutes in the cart, and then something inside me just said, no, I don't have a particularly large home, certainly the kitchen is pretty tiny, it's brand new, which I like about it, it does not have a ton of storage space, it's just the quirk of buying a 1930s cottage, it's just small, and I thought, I don't need this much ketchup, I don't care how much I'm saving on it, and then I looked at Becca and I said, I just can't take this ketchup, I can't do it, and she goes, I don't care if you buy the ketchup

you're like sorry I'm arguing with myself

I literally said I'm sorry I'm just thinking out loud right now because I was battling I was internally battling this question of the ketchup for like 10 minutes it was all I could think about in the Costco do I get this ketchup it's so much cheaper but like this ketchup will outlive me

and again I think some people might hear this and it might be unrelatable because you're somebody who has maybe a family and I think families

especially people who love you social connections

balance you're not a shut-in you don't have a drive for ambition that has left all loved ones behind oh wait sorry I'm getting real personal here uh no I uh but like I think that if you and I had you know if we had families with kids I think those those families are going to go through ketchup a lot faster I think that if if you and I were the type of people who made a lot of meatloaf or whatever you use ketchup for as an ingredient. I know there are people out there who go through more ketchup, but you and I are in similar situations. Even a hot dog, and I don't even want to hear it from the people from Chicago, the hot dog would be a good vehicle for ketchup.

I love ketchup on a hot dog, and I don't care who knows it.

I used to as well. The thing is now I'm going, I think I've told you this before, and I still haven't gotten to the point that I wanted to make bringing up grocery stores, which I'll get to in a second. Noted. And it's going to be so underwhelming. But it's about you. But my thing on hot dogs at home now, I don't think you would like this, is I do a line of barbecue sauce and a line of mustard and then a thin line of sriracha. And that's my kind of standard go-to hot dog situation.

It does feel like a little nontraditional to me. But, hey, if you enjoy the taste, you know, let your freak flag fly, man. Go for it. I'm totally down for that.

If I have a Clausen pickle in the fridge, too, I'll slice this. Now, that's Chicago style. Yeah, I mean, but then I'm putting it on with this other stuff that is, I guess it's just Andrew style. I call that the North Seattle style dog. All right, so here's the reason I brought up grocery stores. First of all, I love grocery stores. I could talk about them forever. But we're talking about you having, again, I can't think of a nicer word for it right now, but let's say a little bit of paranoia around your own bodily odors, something that I've never noticed coming off of you before. Good, it's working. Because paranoia is working. Just because you're paranoid don't mean you don't stink. But I was picking up a fresh thing of hummus, especially during the summer. I feel like I eat a lot of hummus. I like it on pita or on vegetables or a pretzel rod. I like to have hummus. Now, there are different kinds of hummus. just like standard hummus and what's the sabra i think is the brand that everybody's buying these days what did they what did sabra come out of left field and really just took over the marketplace

right i mean like i feel like 10 years ago i'd never heard the word and now it's like they i

think they have my my mortgage i think i pay my mortgage so um they have regular hummus and then they have like pine nut hummus and they have like spicy hummus i'm not into the spicy i like spicy foods but i don't need my hummus to be spicy um and then they have like a garlic hummus which really leans into the garlic and i don't like the garlic hummus that's too much garlic for me but i almost every time i buy hummus now i think of you you and i are just in different grocery stores in different parts of the state thinking of each other sometimes texting each other pictures of sexually suggestive produce sometimes but i was pulling out like the regular i like traditional hummus genevieve likes maybe the pine nut a little bit more so or the red pepper but But I like the traditional hummus, and I'm putting that in the cart, and I'm shaking my head. I'm S-M-D-H-ing. I'm shaking my damn head. More on that in a second, because I might be in internet trouble. Hold on. I'm taking a note. I might be in internet trouble here. But I'm shaking my damn head, thinking, Luke can't even eat this. You don't even like the non-garlic-infused hummus. You think that regular hummus is too garlicky. And I am not convinced that you don't like it. I'm convinced that you're scared that you will smell after not eating it.

Oh, that's exactly what's going on. And it makes me sad. You should have some hummus. I've got two ears, and they're tuned to the hummus station. I am aware that, like, ground-up chickpea and garlic and olive oil is a delicious taste. I have no problem with hummus. I just—it's a very social food. It shows up a lot at parties. It shows up a lot on platters. It shows up a lot at get-togethers, and that's the time when I am being the most careful about not just like shoveling a bunch of garlic down my garlic hole and then yelling over the din of the get-together into someone's ear for the next two hours. Because we've all been in that situation. Someone's had maybe a little more wine that was advisable or a little bit more hummus than was advisable, and it's loud, and people are kind of talking loudly. And it's just it's an unpleasant experience that I don't ever want to be subjecting someone else to. I will tell you this very briefly because I noticed that also SMDH really triggered you. So I get back to whatever you did. But I the fine folks at the Livewire radio show where I work, somebody commented the a couple of shows ago about how I don't really tend to eat a lot. There's always dinner, which is catered, which is very kind of a lucky thing. If I ever wonder, like, hey, what are some of the privileges of my life and my job? One of them is one of my jobs that I go to, they just give you food. Like, hey, we got you dinner. We got everyone dinner. It's just a given. So it's always catered, and it's always food that looks delicious. And it's always from, I call it, Crazy Mike's House of Garlic Breath. I don't know what the actual restaurant is, but it is literally just piles of delicious But deeply garlic infused Nosh And I'm just like you know Again as has been established I'm overly paranoid about this to the point Where it probably limits my enjoyment of life I'm not saying other people should be living their life This way but like if We're doing a radio show where we're all Going to be talking to each other we're all going to be Hollering over the din in the green room We're going to be on stage like this is a I don't know it just I swear to god it's like I can't eat anything that's from the craft services because i can't imagine being you know that kind of like if you have something that's really garlicky and by the way i love garlic that's the irony i love the flavor of garlic but you know when you have something really garlicky and then you brush your teeth and then you're lying in bed and it's still you still have garlic in you like there's no getting the garlic taste out of your mouth it's like it's entered your mitochondria at some

point have you had that experience i don't think so and again maybe i'm going around stinking up

green rooms you don't you but like malodorous uh impact either every now and then well i don't

want to you know i don't want to take this too gross like maybe every now and then if like something has worked its way out and this is very very rare but like it's something that i i think my teeth are all brushed or whatever but then something works its way out of sure something hidden like a like a third ketchup bottle i might get an unpleasant taste in my mouth for a moment and brush my teeth or something but that's not like no i don't i cannot i can never remember like kind of laying in bed and thinking like oh i gotta do something about about this garlic or

whatnot i you know i haven't tested this in many years now so maybe i should just revisit it maybe toothbrush technology has gotten better maybe toothpaste technology has gotten better but i just remember there being in my 20s like kind of eating stuff and being like this is really delicious and garlicky but then just kind of like not ever really being able to get the the after the residue out of my system for like a day or two or like the next morning and again i'm some of this probably alcohol related like just like waking up and then like realizing that i'm like sweating out alcohol and garlic and i don't know the whole thing just created a kind of a bad feeling for me so now i really navigate my life again to my own to my own sort of lack of enjoyment because i i do actually love all of that stuff Now, please, can we talk about SMDH? Because I want to tell you about one other thing I bought at Costco that may change my life. And I have it here with me, by the way, in the studio.

Wow. Okay, this is exciting. I will try not to overemphasize this, but I realized something this morning that truly, truly did rock me. And I'm just remembering this now. So there is...

Was it Wu-Tang Baby?

They rocked the world, but not so much me. um there is an instagram feed that i've been following for a long time that i'm a huge fan of and they have a lot of followers i have like i'm looking here 163 000 people are following laguna vintage i have a feeling a lot of our listeners probably are familiar with this it's a popular instagram account and i think it got its name because it's run by somebody who runs a a used bookstore somewhere i think called laguna vintage but the only thing you find on laguna of vintage is like images from vintage children's books throughout the year. And it's so great the way it's curated. Some of these characters are things you would recognize like, oh, here's one of Bert and Ernie. Right. And others are dug up from, you know, children's books that you would never recognize. And sometimes they're just like they're poignant in the way that they're just sort of curated. Here's one of just a little mouse standing underneath a mushroom saying when it rains, I keep dry under a toadstool. There's no rhyme or reason to it other than-

That looks like, is that a Richard Scarry maybe? No, a golden study book or whatever. Yeah, that is Richard Scarry.

There is definitely some Richard Scarry in here, which is something that I didn't grow up with as much. Oh, here's one here of just like, I can't remember, that's my problem. A lot of these, oh, Mr. Impossible was part of like the, remember there was that series of children's books that were all Mr. or Ms. something or other and they were kind of goofy shaped. I don't know if I read those ones. anyway there's just like some of it you see and you're just like oh my gosh and it's a blast of nostalgia sometimes you see it and you have no idea what it is it's just great it's just a wonderful wonderful innocent fun um instagram feed in fact years ago i remember one time just being bored at home and i just went through my favorites and i realized i'd favorited like a whole bunch of their posts and i just like shared them all in my stories and i put together like a slideshow of like 10 of their stuff and they even were like hey thanks for all the you know thanks for all the love or whatever i'm like yeah no problem so like you know i i like these folks and they posted one this weekend and i rarely comment on instagram by the way every now and then i just get a wild hair they posted one of i don't even know what was going on it was a scene from a sesame street book clearly that had oscar the grouch i think and two of his friends or it was just like three creatures from the grouchiverse and they were at a bowling alley there were like three oscar the gcu the gcu they all looked a little bit different you know what i mean like one had like maybe pink hair and but they're i don't know if they were young grouches or whatever but they were having a day at the bowling alley and it was just sort of a funny image because one of them is bowling and two of them are talking but like they're all in cans right and i just like on a whim and this was a post this wasn't like an instagram story this wasn't something that would be fleeting you know if you comment on an instagram story it's just more like a direct message to the person who posted it this was like an actual post and i put in the comments underneath it this is unlike me but i just wrote wow and they make us wear bowling shoes smdh and i don't think that that's brilliant or fun it was just on a whim and i was also the only person who commented i don't think the uh oh yeah a lot these posts get a lot of likes it looks like but a lot of people don't comment on them because what are you going to comment on it's a cute little thing from the past that is aimed at children i woke up this morning and i saw that same image of the grouches bowling uh and it was posted now to the laguna vintage stories feed and and i was like oh that's interesting they already posted this to like their actual main feed and i commented on it i'm like did they take that down and i went back and that image is now taken down from laguna vintage and i wonder if it's because they thought i was being kind of trolly like i was like i was just being goofy but there are just kind of idiots online who take oh yeah who are trying to start

fights or whatever and i'm not somebody who'd get obsessed with like some petty argument in the neighborhood or something.

that but there are people who are like that and maybe there are people out there who really do shake their damn heads at wearing bowling shoes and i don't know but i feel like i forced one of my favorite and again underscore innocent instagram uh feeds to delete something because i was being a little trolly but i thought you were just trying to be funny but they don't know

your sense of humor they don't know you they don't know kind of the your level of sarcasm and so they maybe just thought well we don't want to have controversy on yeah on this feed I mean maybe or or but you're saying it showed up then in their stories it did show up in their

stories but keep in mind you don't comment you don't you don't comment in stories they they they're up there for 24 hours or whatever you said it for and then they disappear and if you want to comment if you want to comment on somebody's story it just reaches them like a direct message like hey I really like this I'm glad you posted it but it's not like it's not a place where other other viewers can see the comment and then react to your comment or whatever here's my question for you and i'm being quite serious about this yeah and i again this is something that i just sort of realized when i woke up this morning and then you reminded me of it i kind i know it's a real person because they've reached out to me before and said hey thanks for you know sharing our stuff or whatever i am very tempted to send a direct message to laguna vintage and just say hey i just noticed that you took down a really cute little square that um i had i had jokingly commented on if you had taken it down because of my comment or if it was misinterpreted as as being trolly I apologize I was just joking do you think I can do that without coming off as a total

loon it would make me feel a lot better I would absolutely do that particularly considering you've already interacted with them in some way yeah so I think that's totally reasonable if only they might just say oh no that's not why I would hope we were sued by the Jim Henson estate you know like there might be a totally different explanation but I bet you they'll give you that explanation whatever it is and you'll just sleep better at night i would 100 do that not not even because i think you ruined it for them but just so you can know one way or the other um you know what the series of events were by the way i completely get the appeal of this page there is something about the soul of a children's illustration like i'm looking at one that's uh from 1964 a baby sister for francis which were these books that were about i think they're like maybe um badgers or something but we had these francis books and it's like i haven't thought about this little badger family in 40 years or something you know like there is a hit of nostalgia that comes from some sort of illustration that you looked at excessively and obsessively as a kid that then whiffed out of your mind for 40 years that is really powerful like i'm just scrolling through this and my mind is just exploding from because also i feel like a lot of this stuff is just specific to what kind of random hand-me-down kids books did you get as a kid like i feel like it wasn't a coordinated effort when i was a kid the way it might be now like there's probably like these are some recommended children's books and these are some developmental books and we just had books that somebody at gospel outreach christian fellowship had probably just like didn't want any there was no rhyme or reason to the kids books that came into my life so seeing some of them pop up here there was this one goose goofs off which was a sweet pickles book from 1977 this goose standing in like spilled milk in her kitchen we had this book when i was a kid i was like so obsessed with this one i have not thought about this in probably literally 40 years i think

i um i think i had that one too that rings a bell and now i'm trying to get the one that you

you commented about trans bathrooms on

goose goose off i did oh i said no i don't i don't even want to riff on that don't even dignify that off mic i would riff on that but no i'm not going to say what i would say if i a terrible person um uh spreading hot takes on the internet um but do you know this goose goofs off thing did that ring some bells for you i'm looking that up one thing i wanted to say though and actually speaking of kind of how we talk about uh putting people in by the way that was a joke

yes for the record don't take down if the people behind the instagram feed are listening to this what i just said about goose goofs off was a joke about somebody who would connect it to something like that not i don't think they're related to well i answer your question about goose goofs

off because I'm going to look that up this Mr. Impossible drawing that I talked about was part of a series called the Mr. Men series and could you look up the Mr. Men series and look at the style of illustration and I'm looking and there were these small little books I think they were almost like I feel like they were more like pocket-sized books with these I'm getting divorce lawyers for Mr. Men good lawyers doing good things for good Mr. Men I totally recognize these characters

and Andrew, Mr. Bump, Mr. Perfect, Mr. Cheerful, Mr. Lazy. Mr. Silly rings a bell to me. Mr. Rude. I don't think I read these books as a kid, but the visuals of them are very from my... I remember seeing them in libraries and stuff. I just never

read into them. And that's one that really hits me strongly. I don't know that I would have remembered that without Laguna Vintage. And yes, goose goofs off all i'm seeing is the cover of this book and yes this was in our collection we had a lot of books as kids my i mean to their credit my parents um really emphasize reading and yes goose goofs off um oh it was a sweet pickle book i remember i remember that logo i don't know if i had other sweet pickle books but i remember that logo this is fun it's funny because the books

that i read to addy were very much i came about them in the same way that my parents did which is to say i just like some of them showed up on the free pile at kuow some were just like people in my life who are like oh i have these my kids are grown here's some books and those stories to this day so there's one called tacky the penguin which i i to this day i think is one of the greatest most underrated children's books it's about basically a penguin named tacky who does not fit in with the other penguins the other penguins are all very like black tie kind of tuxedo he's got a floral print shirt on he's got a real rodney dangerfield kind of energy and and as you might imagine uh tacky is really underappreciated until he comes through in the clutch and his differences turn out to be his strength we would read tacky the penguin and i would do this whole i would act it out for her you know to where like if i was babysitting her and my brothers i would because tacky's doing all this like diving and swimming and stuff and there was like i'd roll around on them or i'd do it was like a phys it was like part physical part reading whatever there's one called Nona and the Red Racer it's about this little girl who gets this bike the Red Racer and I would do all these voices these are to this day with Addie and I are really like going back in the memory in the memory banks it's like these stories that again could have been anything they just happen to fall into her life and my life and then they're still like so treasured you know kids kids books are a really interesting thing for that reason now do you think and I'm not trying to ruin that Dr. DeSoto the dentist by the way don't sleep on Dr. DeSoto

the dentist that's a that's a more of a um a contemporary one that you got when you were

when you were at kow uh i don't know where i got dr de soto from it was an old book i might have picked it up at a at a um uh and it's william steeg didn't william steeg like was he like an illustrator for the new yorker too maybe oh that i'm looking this up anyway i think that this one i might have just picked up at a garage sale or something but dr de soto the dentist is this dentist oh you know what i think he might have designed is the original shrek oh oh interesting okay was it the shrek started off as a book i'm look i'm seeing an illustration that i'll uh i will um i'll continue to investigate and then get back to everyone but um dr de soto is like a dentist but he's a mouse so when he works on patients that are like a fox he's taking his life in his own hands to do their dental work for some reason this was the voice of this was Dr. DeSoto the dentist had this voice for some reason and like so you know we do this book over and over again and Dr. DeSoto would always be talking like this for some reason when he was doing his dental procedures like it's also weird how that is still in my like I can't remember anything but the weird Dr. DeSoto the dentist voice I would do is still right here at the front

of my brain it sounds like Bill Clinton I um I am I am having a um nostalgia bomb go off in me right now and it's not as fun as a funk bomb but not as scary as a real bomb uh i just sent you an email of a screenshot that i took this goose goofs off i would have never remembered this book but i am on like some i think i'm on etsy now where somebody's selling a copy of this and the first thing they show other after the front cover oh my god is what is on the inside

the cover the sweet pickles universe i had totally i had completely forgotten about this and i'm

looking at this now i probably spent hours and hours and hours just staring at it they they have like i think like four rows here of every character from the sweet pickles universe including responsible rabbit i think i might have had his book the um accusing alligator who's just pointing at the bear next to him and says it's your fault there is so much detail in here and this is as a kid oh vain vulture was another one i think i had um as a kid this is the stuff you obsess over because there's so much detail in each one of these little illustrations and you could just open a book and just not even get to the first page, just stare at this for hours and hours and think of the backstories of these characters.

And it's like I don't even know if I actually read the books that involved these other characters or if I just looked at them.

this page endlessly yeah right i don't know i don't know if i had a worried walrus book but he loomed large in my mind because i was looking at his character or vain vulture saying i'm gorgeous also it's pretty funny because i do remember x-rating xerus being a stretch even as a kid because this goes alphabetically by the way it starts with accusing alligator and it ends with zany zebra and i remember thinking boy they had to really get up early to find an x there must be something called a

Zerus I don't even remember this so a Zerus is some sort of a little furry creature it looks like a gopher or something but instead of being worried walrus or yakety yak it's X raiding Zerus

and he's saying it's not allowed and so it's like it's literally a movie raider like that is a weird I think he's just I mean again I told you I think it was I just think that this was a real they could have just skipped it like they do sometimes with like the 13th floor in an apartment building like just we don't need it we don't need we don't need you to have x-rating xerus saying not allowed and holding a pencil up like he was supposed to be a guy who went around just going like don't do that he was like a human ghostbuster symbol right it's all because there are like no animals that start with an x and also what's a verb what's it right or i i don't know these are verbs or what they are exactly i guess they're not what are they adjectives like it was x just did not lend Itself to this conceit but they just made It happen anyway but oh my gosh Andrew these Jealous jackal I want I want I want How about oh goof off Goose was of course I'll do it tomorrow You had fearless fish I'm trying to think of some of the smarty stork I know everything Responsible rabbit is busy busy busy These little oh and even Remember zany zebra I do see I'm with you though

Now I can't remember and the writing is upside

Down oh yeah zebra's doing a handstand and it says i do it my way this stuff is just yeah in in the word bubble

that's written upside down sorry to cut you off on that but i'm that's it i'm definitely like i don't remember if i read all of these books or if i just stared at this page forever i'm with you on that because at first i think oh i read that one i read that one i'm like no maybe they just showed up in each other's stories that the clever camel definitely rings about oh yeah that's memorable

yeah i i if i know anything about my family growing up is that we didn't have the complete set of sweet books we did not we probably had one book probably goof off goose because goof off goose standing in that milk spill which is how we started this whole thing that really uh was very memorable to me we probably like had that book and then i just created like fanfic for the rest of these characters based on staring at these opening pages of the goose book you were you were

Shipping worried walrus with zany zebra, that gets hot.

Yeah, what would happen if, you know, Bashful Bear and Nasty Nightingale had a very unlikely relationship?

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man, razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

All right, let's thank some dazzling donors who are supporting TBTL with their dazzling donation of dough. We are getting very soon, very close to, I should say, announcing the latest TBTL-a-thon. So please, you know, I guess watch this space because we will be having one this year because, of course, this is three full-time jobs. Me, you, TBTL, employee numero uno, John Sklaroff. And it only happens because of the generous support of the tens of listeners, folks like Schaefer Hall in Austin, our friend from the front page, the pub in East Austin that everybody's talking about that Schaefer runs.

The only front page you want to find yourself in.

Seriously. And it's always above the fold.

It's where it's always above the fold.

Up here, Michael. Up here. Wait, what? Hey, fellas. Five years ago, I used my first dazzling donor message to announce the birth of the front page, our little pub in East Austin. And now I'm happy to announce the pub's fifth birthday. It was a rocky start for obvious reasons. Let me do this math. Let's see. 24 and a half minus five. Oh, right. Yes. Pandemic. Pandemic. It was a rocky start for obvious reasons, but things are nearly running smoothly now. and the TBTL community really helped me keep my head up during the madness of the 2020s. Oh, that's really cool to hear. I'd like to thank the 10s who have stopped by over the years. Also, I'd like to try to do a 10 appreciation party some weekend this summer. If anyone out there would like to participate, you can find my email on our website, which is thefrontpage.pub. Thefrontpage.pub is the website for the pub. Many thanks to...

both of you for everything you do what you do is genuinely important that makes me so happy to hear andrew that the tens have been coming through for schaefer um because we were last week talking about i think we're listener marshall was emailing in about how listener ivan helped him land a job in the netherlands which we've learned is not part of scandinavia like just when you hear about tens helping tens or being there for tens it just it it absolutely warms this the cockles

of my cold dead heart that's right and it is it is cold and dead I can verify that um and yeah and it sounds like the tens who are in that area were able to go by and maybe stop by and support the pub or get takeout I think they were doing I think I remember Schaefer talking about doing a some sort of a takeout menu during um during the pandemic I could be wrong but I think that was the case but either way but it also sounds like a lot of like sort of emotional support and just like yeah listen I've been there before I've run these you know or I'm currently in this situation and putting people's heads together like that I see a lot of that in the tens community and like

you say it really does mean a lot I'm also at the front page dot pub and I I want in the words of lemon Liz lemon I want to go to there they got this southern Italian sandwich that I could probably eat six of right now um they've got also it looks like they've got a full bar menu too when I hear pub because i'm from the northwest in washington state pub often has a specific indication of what is available there like pubs and taverns when i was growing up maybe it's just pubs meant no uh hard alcohol and uh but but they've looked like they've got everything under the sun here at the front page i'm looking at a photo of the place so anything anything that you like to wet your whistle with i bet you they've got it there and looks like great food and great taste

in podcasts that's right they play tbtl i i'm pretty sure schaefer has a rule that the staff

must play tbtl over the had a rule and then that they tracked it very closely with some decline in business and then ended that rule and then that tracked very closely with an increase in business

so you know what happened everybody heard it and they raced home to their own pod catcher so they could download it and listen at home which wasn't that's definitely probably probably but regardless

The effect was not great For the front page So that's why they're back To just playing music But Schaefer Thank you so much For supporting the show And being a pal For all these years And congrats On the front page Down there in Austin Maestro Sorry I jumped the gun Get set Now ready Ready Go Everybody rattle Sad Made me feel like Ira Glass I'm talking over the music Yeah I was Real high production value You know how you all

Hey look who it is And you You run home I'm just thinking about running home to subscribe to a podcast do we still do that do we go home we check our messages we

subscribe to our you run home you plug your zune in wait for the battery to charge look who it is it's our friend jennifer walter who's in warsaw poland do i have this right this dr jennifer i

believe so that's right we've met uh and so it says jen question mark as so i think jennifer goes by jen as well i guess and we've met jen um many times yeah i remember in i've flown with

Dr. Jen at least once if not more because we're both like I mean she's going to Europe I'm just going to like you know back in the day Bellingham but still we found ourselves on at least one Alaska air flight literally seated next to each other I think in the front of the plane which was pretty fun Jen says Bonvoy see there you go if you know you know long time dazzler first time dazzle message writer there's a reason I've never done one of these things. The TENS gave me overwhelming support when I was working in Ukraine and Gaza. So I wanted to promote another organization that I consult with. It's called COPE. COPE works in Laos for people with mobility-related disabilities, including accessing prosthetic and orthotic services. The majority of their patients are UXO survivors.

You know what UXO? I wonder if that... No, I'm going to look that up, but I have a feeling it

has to do like landmines yeah i have a feeling i bet you the o is for yeah yeah i think you're

right it's like mines and that type of thing during the vietnam war america dropped more

than two million tons of cluster bombs on laos uh that's one plane load of bombs every eight minutes for a decade 40 of those bombs didn't detonate and at the current rate of clearance it will take 100 more years to make laos uxo free obviously uxos kill and maim by the way 45 of which are children which is where my work is but they restrict land use and long-term development if the tens want to support they can go to cope laos.org so that's c-o-p-e the word cope and then laos like the nation of l-a-o-s cope laos.org or contact me on slack and thanks for all you do Well, you know, Jennifer, I'd say what we're doing is almost as important as what you're doing. I'd put them, I mean, very, very like neck and neck.

I don't want to tease too hard. But you said like you sat next together, you sat next to each other on a plane and you're heading out to beatbox somewhere on TV. Probably. Best case, Andrew. Best case scenario.

I might have been on my way to Vegas for purely recreational purposes. I don't know.

Yeah. No, what Jennifer does is incredibly important work, and she's been telling us about it when we when on the occasions that we'd meet. And it's it's so it's so far beyond my comprehension, even Luke, this type of work. UXO, by the way, you're right, is unexploded ordinance. The X kind of standing in there for exploded. And so obviously, Jennifer, thank you so much for for what you are doing out there. And thanks for taking the time to support TBTL as well. And so, oh, I just wanted to say one other thing here. You said that if people want to reach you, Jennifer, they can go to copelouse.org or contact you on Slack. If anybody's having trouble finding Jennifer on Slack or want to reach her directly, you can also email me, andrew at tbtl.net, and I'll check in and see if I can connect you guys that way as well.

All right. Thank you, Dr. Jen. We really appreciate you. And, yeah, thanks for all you're doing out there in the world to make it a better place. We'll hold down the podcasting. You hold down the helping administer aid to the people dealing with unexploded ordinances. But we've got the podcasting covered, okay, over here. We got that. We got you.

Are you saying stay in your lane?

No, I'm just saying we all provide what we can, and what we can provide is this.

Yeah, it turns out some gave none, and that's us. Show title? Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

Andrew, we talked earlier in the show about my trip to Costco yesterday, and I mentioned some of the various things that I purchased, but what I did not tell you is that I also, on sort of a whim, decided to grab a Philips Norelco 6000 series shaver. And as you can tell, and as you can hear, this is a real moment of radio theater. I am live shaving on the air.

I've never done that before. I've literally never used an electric razor other than to trim the areas around my beard and create a clean

line let me tell you what my friend i am never going back so you were i couldn't remember this

so before this you were always a shaving cream and razor guy like i have been since i shaved my

beard but not even shaving cream because complicating this whole topic andrew is i have incredibly sparse facial hair growth bordering on medically problematic and so because of that i It never occurred to me to get one of these electric shavers because I just thought I don't have enough facial hair to justify one of these things. I could just buy the cheapest, you know, Bic razor and deal with this little or as, you know, they used to say when I was a kid, put some milk on your face, let the cat lick it off. I mean, that would have also been effective as a way of dealing with my with my very, very sparse facial hair.

But this is the thing that I'm sorry they said that to you, by the way. That wasn't very nice.

i um i was getting my haircut in i think it might have been in new york like six months ago and it was one of those emergency haircut situations where i hadn't planned things out very well i was going to go film something and it was like i went to this that place that was kind of like a faux english barber shop but it was like in the basement of rockefeller center but all the women that worked there were from like mongolia or something like it was a really interesting experience but i had i think that morning i probably had shaved with my standard thing which is just like a disposable razor that i buy i might use it two times and no shaving cream just soap i mean what do you just i just i mean sometimes shaving cream but i don't have enough facial hair to even justify sometimes soap sometimes shaving cream sometimes none of it like i just again it's such a it's such an uneventful experience generally speaking for me shaving um that uh i don't i don't necessarily have to have it's not like i have like long whiskers that need to be somehow softened up from the bristles of the shaving cream brush application like it

just doesn't i thought it doesn't rise to that level i thought i mean i don't you know i don't even know what the i get i always use shaving cream it never occurred to me what the purpose is but like i always thought it had more to do with like protecting your skin rather than

lubrication the the hair but sometimes the problem so all that is to say that i was at this place and the one

woman who was cutting my hair I think just noticed after she had kind of like done the sideburns and stuff that I just had some sort of like extra little hair growth that I probably had missed that morning shaving and she grabbed something like this and she just went and just like got it right off of my face and it was like what sorcery is this like I didn't have to put anything on it's smooth as a as a baby's bottom it's a it's a neatly chiseled well-groomed drop dead handsome face and like also and we've done you know ads in the past for like harry's razors and stuff and it's not a joke how expensive disposable razors really are like they're they're not cheap and and i've been buying them for years and i don't want to spring for the really expensive ones even though those ones work a little better but it just like when do i pay five dollars for this disposable razor i use once it's like it's always been a thing i got this yesterday andrew i haven't stopped shaving with it i may just start and i also think i thought that one of these razors would nick me a lot and maybe if i had more facial hair it would but i think that this is one of those cases where my particular baby baby's bottom kind of um hair and skin condition is ideally suited for one of these because it's it's completely gotten all the little wispy hairs off of my face and neck it does not it has not pinched or created any painful experience and i means i can stop but also it's very convenient i'm going to be careful because i want to if there is any hair i don't want to knock it up you just hit this button open it up you wash it out it came with some replacement these little blade are you actually using water

or you mean you just kind of shake it out and use a brush to brush well i used some water this morning i don't know if i'm supposed to or not i just wasn't sure with the electronics i i would guess you'd want to brush it out, right? Did it come

with a little brush? I have a feel. It did actually come with a brush. You might be on to something. Anyway, Andrew, the other thing that this thing does, it has a different head attachment that you can use it for as they call it now, personal grooming. Which brings me to an awkward conversation I had with my father in front of my mother yesterday morning. My parents stayed over on Saturday night. We had kind of a get-together on Saturday here, which was so much fun. It was the first time I've actually had anyone out here and it was my sister Sarah and her husband Josh and little Luke my nephew and my namesake my folks Becca was here it was just a lovely little time and um my mom and dad stayed over because they're continuing on to um the seaside Oregon this week where they're going to the timeshare and um we got up well first of all it was a it's amazing spending a Sunday morning with my parents because you just never know what's going to happen uh it might be the kind of morning where my mom asked me, have you ever seen Mrs. Doubtfire? I think it's one of the funniest movies of all time. My mom apparently has seen Mrs. Doubtfire 20 times. She thinks it's an all-timer. It's one of the funniest movies ever made. And then she went on to kind of describe the plot of Mrs. Doubtfire to me. Probably I'm no closer to watching it again, but I like that she likes it. And then my dad, who had, I think, taken a shower, There's like one shower in this house still. Notice that in the shower, I have like an electric razor that I bought for, not for shaving my face, but for personal grooming. And he goes, hey, do you mind if I use that razor for my, because my beard, my goatee is really growing out. It's really shaggy. Can I use that razor of yours? And I said, well, I go, dad, there comes a time in every dad's life when his son has to have a talk with him about what we call manscaping um no i said dad have you noticed that i don't have a lot of hair on my face and he said yeah and i go so what part of my body do you think i actually use that razor that electric razor that's in the shower what part of my body do you think i use it on and he looked at me with a look on his face that said he may have already he might have been asking forgiveness more than permission i don't know i i i never got a clear I didn't want a clear answer on it, but, yeah, he may or may not have used a razor that I have been using on my nether regions for the last year.

That's uncomfortable.

It is. It is very uncomfortable. That, between a father and son in front of your mother, that's a lot on a Sunday morning when all you wanted to do was get the Rotten Tomatoes score on Mrs. Doubtfire.

You're, like, suddenly you're, like, you're just dying for more Mrs. Doubtfire talk. Mom, what else you got? Drive-by fruiting? Anything? Was it a drive-by fruiting? That's the only thing I know from Mrs. Doubtfire because I know it's your favorite part.

Well, that's literally, she goes, there's this restaurant scene. She goes, there is this restaurant scene that is just, she goes, I cry laughing. I was like, oh, drive-by fruiting? Oh, I know. I know all about it.

I don't even know why that's funny. And by the way, this is, I mean, without making things uncomfortable, that's not a play on words like related to, you know, an epithet for a gay person, right?

Like, that's just a drive-by shooting. Oh, it rhymes. It's instead of a drive. I mean, it's a play on something much more dark. Yeah. A drive-by shooting, but it's a drive-by fruiting.

I just never got it. And he's throwing fruit at people. I just I've never seen that movie. I just lack all the context for it.

Well, I'm going to email you a Zoom link and get you and my mom into a conversation. She would love to tell you. She'd love to give you the download.

Even if I don't have to watch it?

The plot. That led us on a whole long conversation about the work of Sally Field.

Oh.

Because Sally Field is Robin Williams' ex in Mrs. Doubtfire. And I was looking that up, and I was like, God, Sally Field in Mrs. Doubtfire was probably like 38 or something. You know, it was like not old. But like I was there are those people that because they're older than you, you think they were old. You saw them in a movie when you were a kid and you were like, I don't know, what is this person, 70? And then you go back and you check and it's like, no, they were 35 when they made this film. They were so much younger than you and I are now.

I learned a new word today. I'm looking at the clock, though. Don't you have to go? I'll tell you a new word and then we get out of here. Am I right about this? We're over budget. We're good. We're good. We're under time and over budget. But are you one more shaving? Keep talking. okay wait two things then if you're gonna shave first of all that move that you're doing right now i was gonna mention this before you can now be like that guy in the i'm gonna say 80s or 90s movie where you're driving a moderately nice convertible but you're on your way to a meeting

and you're shaving while you're driving yes you know probably i have the very early cell phone

yes exactly but you're like on the phone and you're kind of shaving on your way maybe have the newspaper out yeah it's like maybe from the is it from the player i don't know what i'm picturing of defending your life vibes i don't know something like that yes this you're right

this particular kind of razor here are the two pieces of pop culture that it really looms large in 80s businessman on the go and cartoon baby that's actually a convict huh i'm unfamiliar I think there was in the Looney Tunes universe This baby that was actually like an adult man Who I think might have been an ex-con But he looks like a baby And is being treated baby-like But was always using one of these To kind of keep his six o'clock shadow down It'll never show up on your Laguna vintage feed

No, I'm looking to see Because what you just described does ring a bell But, oh yeah, and smoking a cigar Is it Babyface Finster?

Probably. I'm guessing. It's probably Babyface Finster.

Yeah, Babyface Finster is a cartoon character smoking a cigar and, oh, and holding guns right in Bugsby's face. I don't like that too much. Mug shots.

I found a picture of him of Babyface Finster shooting, uh, shooting. Babyface Finster shaving.

There you go. Okay, so the other thing I was going to ask you, oh, this is not even worth getting into, but I learned a new word today, which was wasbind. Are you familiar with this term for I think I think it's an ex-husband, but I think and I'm just learning this. And I somebody who is actually kind of a mutual acquaintance of you and mine referred to somebody who I thought was her husband as her was been. And it sounds like maybe they've had maybe like kind of a parting of ways. But I don't know if this is a term that you specifically when you're still like kind of very friendly with your ex or whatever. Are you familiar with that term?

I've never heard that term before, but as a two-time was-bend, I assume that it also is probably a, like, if you're talking about what the sort of level of acrimony is, it sounds like a lower level of acrimony.

Yeah, I feel like you're a two-time ex.

I'm a two-time was-bend. How dare you? I am the world's best. No, I'm just joking. And this is, you know, the gloves are coming off, buddy. You're dealing with babyface burbster now. I am a great ex-husband, terrible husband, amazing ex-husband.

I think I'd be the opposite. I think I would just be like...

It's all of the fun of being married to me with none of the downside. You get to text funny memes. You get to chat it up occasionally via phone or whatever, major life events, keep up to speed, get a decent house out of the deal. It's a good deal, and you don't have to live with me, and you don't have to put up with my mood swigs. I would really like to put my ex-husbanding, my wasbanding up against just about anybody's wasbanding. Again, husbanding, zero out of five stars. Would not recommend, but wasbanding, pretty good.

Well, sorry for trying to smear your reputation there. I didn't mean to. I think I'd be the opposite. I think if...

my heart were broken i think i would just go find a corner and um i don't see you know i think you'd

be both the best husband and husband because you're a very thoughtful person i don't see you being i don't know i i don't see you being mean or vindictive even if you're suffering through heartbreak but let's hope andrew let's yeah you never have to experience that let's hope yeah um

what i'll do just for the um for the show is i will uh try to get into a big fight with genevieve this evening. Would you mind just for the plot for the narrative? Just sort of see what my instinct is in the worst moment of that.

Also, God, I wish we had the technology where you could just feel my face right now. It is I don't. It is so, so incredibly smooth. I am loving this. I also sent you a picture of Baby Finster if you, although we have an embarrassment of show pick options. I know. I think it might

be the inside of that book, right? Yeah, that's probably better. Yeah.

Alright. Thank you for listening, everyone. Thanks for spending the time with us. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves. Go Mariners. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. Look, there's an elephant in my alphabet. Why? It's a sweet pickled mini book. then elephant said but what will i give for a door prize your door of course four different sweet pickles mini books one in each specially marked box of alphabets power out