Muse

Thank you for being a tan, traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant. If you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, You would see the biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say Thank you for being a 10

TBTL Okay, ah, I've been waiting for this moment for months And it's finally here

What I need from you, because you're the bosses of the town, essentially, and I know that, is, this is so hard, I need more money. Hit me, I need the money. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people. things are going to start happening to me now well they sure are hello good morning and welcome

everyone to a monday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live i heard about that thing on the am radio my name is luke burbank i am your host it is our turn coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched high above the mighty columbia this is special this is special it is day one of tbtl-a-thon 15 thank you for being a 10 and we've had weeks of tbtl-a-thons where it's been unclear if we were going to complete the mission if we were physically going to be safe i don't know if the stakes have ever been as high as they are this year though because it is predicted to be a record temperature today here near the madrona hill studio things are

gonna get hot they're gonna get funky somebody better open the window and yet as we sit here

at 10 a.m streaming to you live on youtube worldwide face who are you facing it's honestly a little bit too cold in the room which is not how i was expecting it to feel we have had all manner of fans running all night and all morning and i would just like to report to the tens of listeners who are tuning in right now and even those who are hearing this days and weeks from now that as of right now as we embark on episode 4244 in a collector series the temperature is reasonably okay in here let the fun begin so that is good because we have very important work to do this week and that is of course keeping tbtl in business by raising some money here during the

thawne that cash could really get me out of a couple of jams and um here to help me with that

are a couple of my dear, dear friends and colleagues at Too Beautiful, Too Biz. I will mention that on their way down here to the Madrona Hill studio, they did stop at Taco Time. I might have tacos when I go home. I'm not quite sure yet. And I haven't heard anything about their Taco Time stop, but I'm willing to say instinctively, they did it wrong. I don't, I actually, they've literally not even told me about their experience, but I just know in my heart of hearts that they would have had a better time if I would have been there guiding them. So we'll talk about that and so much else with my good friend, Andrew Walsh, the longest running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship. Yalapeno. Who's joining me right now from just to my left, studio right, if you're watching us on YouTube. Hello, my friend. We did it, Luke.

We finally have fans, at least three of them, counting one above me and one to my right and one to my left.

Look out, OnlyFans. It's an entire new spin on that title. And, by the way, what we'll have to do if we aren't able to raise the amount of money that we need to this week on the show. Hey, great job so far on the setup here. Yeah, we're doing all right. We're broadcasting this, of course, and I'm watching the comments, and it looks like we have audio. It looks like people are very impressed with the setup here in the Madrona Hill studio.

We don't have a shot of John. That's the one thing. If people are like, wow, fame and fortune, which that's coming later, right? We got the fame, the fortune's coming later, has gone to their heads. and they're no longer putting John, their fellow business boy, on camera. That is a technical difficulty that we are going to be fixing before tomorrow's broadcast. But he is in the room with us here. He absolutely is.

Hey, Romano. He's right over there. He's TBTL employee numero uno, John Sklaroff. Hello, my friend.

Hey, I thought it was just jealousy. Maybe that's what he's going to do.

Exactly. Hey, you've journeyed the furthest.

To get here, you flew yesterday from Minnesota out to Seattle, grabbed the rental car, went up to Andrew and Genevieve's, grabbed the gear, came down here. How was your journey in?

It was great. It was an easy flight, and the weather is beautiful. I think I said to Andrew several times on the drive down to your place, the Pacific Northwest is just a beautiful place. It really is, and I love where I live in the Midwest, but it's just really gorgeous out here, so it's really nice to be here right now. The mountain was out on our drive.

The mountain was out. I was teaching John some of the local slang. The mountain was out in full glory as we traveled down the five and past the EQC Casino.

Where we did not stop.

Where we did not stop for all, for as far as anybody needs to know.

I believe, I'm trying to think, is it the Brothers Osborne who are redefining country music currently at the EQC? I believe that is exactly what is happening. I only know this because while watching the Seattle Mariners, I am subjected to a massive, massive number of EQC commercials. I believe Gavin DeGraw will be there with Kobe Cauway. Oh, wow. I like to start the TV Cellathon weeks with promoting a local casino's entertainment offerings.

Would you say it's the biggest and the best in the Northwest? I'd say it's two. That's what I was thinking. Two things can be true.

Two things can be true. Now, if you're watching this on YouTube right now, welcome. them we can because of this technology we can theoretically take your phone calls and we will the phone number is 206-414-TBTL 206-414-8285 but if you are watching this on YouTube you will see that as of right now I'm a little unsure of where to be looking my friends because this is I think the fanciest sentence I've ever heard and I used to watch Frasier this is the fanciest technical setup we've had in terms of the cameras we have got I think three cameras going right And again, eventually, hopefully, four cameras, and one that will include our friend John Sklaroff, but we're having some battery power issues with that cam. We're calling that the three-shot. But we have— We're calling it the studio cam. Yeah, thank you. Sure. And I apologize for the confusion. We have multiple cameras going so that you can see Andrew and I when we're talking. You can see me when I'm talking, Andrew when he is talking, and that's all being controlled over there by John. But what it means is I never know which camera is on. Yeah. Have you ever noticed when you're watching the local news or a talk show and the host will say, wait, which camera am I looking at?

Oh, I love that. At a late night talk show, when somebody wants to do a bit, they're like, which camera?

And those studio cameras have these giant red on-air lights that will tell you very quickly what you're looking at. We don't have any of that here. We just have a panoply of laptops and Logitechs. So if I'm staring off into the middle distance and you're watching this on YouTube or if really if any of us are I want you to know it's it's not because I'm losing interest in the program It's because I'm just looking at the wrong camera

Well, this is this is where I need to probably not go into so much detail here, but we have Like you mentioned a studio cam that is sort of malfunctioning right now And the saddest thing about that is not that you can't see John on camera it's that when that thing dies what happens is my laptop computer camera becomes the default. So right now there is a very unfortunate shot of me that I'm not even looking. I can see John is choosing that shot. I'm not even looking at it. I know it's coming up. John is cyber bullying you to within an inch of your life. It's not a good look, but we'll leave it on. And I'm just going to like, I'm going to look at you. I'm going to do the thing I've never done before in my life, which is make eye contact with you. I'm going to make eye contact with John. Boy, is this how the other people live? They just make eye contact all the Yeah, it's the window to the soul.

Now, Andrew, if you do want to gussy yourself up, though, I would like to point out that I have a whole...

That's a cute mirror, man.

I've got a whole situation here that I use. I've got, and you saw me applying this before the show. First of all, and I'm going to try to put this on the camera. I don't know what this is going to do. I guess a reflection. I've got my little handheld mirror that I will use before showtime. That's a really cute mirror. I love that. I will stare into this and ask who's the fairest one of all.

You know what that reminds me of? It reminds me of a Smurfette's mirror. Uh-huh.

And I will apply a little bit. I have this, like, red little kind of spot on my nose that I've had cauterized by the greatest cauterization doctors in Bellingham, Washington, the Bay City. And it worked for about two weeks before it just started kind of being red again. So I put a little bit of this Revlon photo ready. Am I pretty now, Mama? Am I ready for my close-up? I put a little Revlon photo ready on that. And then I've got this, too, which I which I highly recommend. Andrew or John, can we go to a one shot for me? I just want to really show. This is the Elf. Santa! I know him. This is the Elf Perfect Finish HD Powder. My buddy Paul, a camera guy that I work with, broke.

this out the other day when i was in an oregon state prison filming he said you're getting pretty shiny oh wow and i was like well because they might be on to me they might not let me out of here so now i use this uh it's again i if you if you want to really if you want to look your best and be your best andrew i i do want to hold this you avail yourself of all of my little

stuff that i use oh that's i'm not going to look at myself anymore thank you

all right let's talk about the drive down if we can you did stop at a taco time the two of you i By the way, that was a real shocker time to me because I didn't know that this was on the agenda. We were texting yesterday as you were on your way down, and you just casually mentioned we stopped at Taco Time. We're going to be running a little bit later than we thought. And I will tell you that my thought when I got that message was not one of happiness, not one of two of my favorite people in the world are eating at my favorite restaurant in the world. It was why can't I be there to help guide them through the process? What happened?

Well, first of all, I did need help ordering, but there's something you should know, which is I did not go to Taco Time. John went to Taco Time. There was a subway across the street, and I went to the subway because I was more in the mood for that.

Okay, well, that, first of all, feels like some sort of a violation of trust. You were in the vicinity of a Taco Time, the restaurant that looms largest in our show's sort of existence, and you decided to go visit Doctor's Associates over there at the subway?

First of all, by the way, and I know this is a story about taco. Well, this isn't a story about taco time. It's about the human condition.

This is a story about when people betray their friends by not going to taco time.

I'm generally speaking not a big fan. I mean, I'm fine with it, but I'm not somebody who craves fast food Mexican food.

What about good, good, fresh, fresh? Talking about the very best.

Maybe, and especially when I'm in a car. like i lean towards like wanting um i like to eat fresh when i'm in a car i don't know there's

something like a meatball sandwich you know something that just is really no must no fuss

no i just got a cold cut sandwich which again i know is not health food but like it's somehow it doesn't it doesn't hang on me quite so heavily as i'm sitting in the passenger seat of a jeep

willis that's right yeah there's that by the way let's put a pin in that yeah yeah okay so you went to subway but john you decided to try taco time let's just start with your order what did you

order yeah so um i first of all don't feel slighted it was my call to stop for food because i had been traveling all morning and i was like past my lunch time and i was starting to get hangry and mean to andrew in the car we don't like it when john is hangry i didn't want to be yelling at andrew in the car so that's on me um it was fine what did you order sir uh so i asked the person behind the counter what i should get and they recommended chicken the classic chicken burrito chicken burrito or chicken soft taco well so here's the thing i said i've never i don't believe they sell a chicken burrito i your story is falling apart i said to them i was like i've never been here what you recommend they're like oh well definitely the chicken a classic chicken

burrito is really good i'm like never even heard they have a classic chicken burrito i think that's what they called it it's a chicken soft taco did it have shredded lettuce tomato and a kind of a

white ranch dressing they call it definitely not a taco because i said to them i was like they're So soft taco. They said, do you want a burrito or a taco? I said, maybe one of each because I have no idea how big these things are. And they said, great. Go with chicken. For the burrito, go the classic chicken. I'm like, awesome. And then if you like a little spice, we can do like a habanero chicken thing.

Yeah, they do have a classic chicken burrito.

Yeah, see who's a liar now.

Well, this looks disgusting. I would never eat this.

Well, so I said, yeah, give me that. Times are changing, Grandpa. A shakes fist at burrito. I said, give me the habanero one, too, thinking it would be a taco. Habanero, I mean But they turned out to be two chicken burritos Which is way too much food

So you didn't even get what you ordered Does the habanero come with a Chapel Rhone CD? This is way too 2024 for me I don't like any of this I'm not opposed to going back to Taco Time You ordered the beige taco club Is that what you ordered? Show title? Where's my bell?

Oh yeah, where is your bell? It's back there, forget it

I can't go get it because then the people watching on YouTube will see my gams. They'll see my legs. We are all beshorted. Oh, no, we're not. Andrew's got pants on. I'm panted, yeah. So I thought you were creating a safe space for us to wear shorts during this very

sweltering week, but then you opted pants. I'll be wearing some shorts. I woke up this morning. I brought these jeans that are very, well, this is not interesting, but these are very light jeans. They're both light-colored and the texture of them. I'm caressing them, and I can confirm they're light-ish. So they're a nice feel for today and i don't know how much we want to get into it but honestly when we got here today you had so you're so worried about the heat that it was actually really cold in here and i wish i had a hoodie yeah so i'm i'm good but i know that's not how temperature works we're by the way we're

not done with this taco time conversation but in the spirit of the freewheeling nature of tbtl even during a thon week uh we'll just follow our flights of fancy um uh the i have this theory about the temperature in here, which is.

If I can just turn it into a complete icebox during the morning times, once the sun is really beating down on this room, we'll have built up a certain amount of sort of good, cold karma. But I also have all of the doors and windows open, which means that will probably not really matter. Like, it's just going to be really warm in the afternoon. It is what it is. Well, I'll say right now. But for right now, it's totally fine.

The only fan you have on is the newly installed ceiling fan, which is, first of all, looks great. I'm not just saying that. I wouldn't just say that I'm actually quite withholding But it's actually really I mean I feel a breeze in here It's really working

Let me just explain if we can About that ceiling fan Which I talked about last week How it was turning out to be more complicated Than we thought As is often the case I want to be really careful With how I talk about this Because I don't want people to get In any way the wrong impression of my dad My dad is really the most inherently kind person I've probably ever met in my life Andrew I'd put you a close second John's way down the list weirdly When he's hangry He's probably in like 40th place But my dad is such a kind person And also is not for his age A person who's given to kind of like Stereotyping Or like the kind of things that people of a certain generation might say Not even thinking that they were being Less than inclusive right But so many things That are in this studio I ordered by way of the internet And that means they were probably made in China And what has recently emerged Is my dad Describing something he calls Chinese bullshit And Chinese bullshit And that's not TikTok? Chinese no, he doesn't know Bite dance from a steak bite My dad has now Become very frustrated with Okay, so see, not the orange sconces That hang above, not the orange pendants That hang above, but see that orange sconce that's over where the coffee is now.

Oh, I've been noticing that. I've been staring at that since I got here.

It's a thing that I ordered on the internet to replace the thing that's in the bathroom that was the wrong color.

Even if the other thing came like you wanted to, this is a real story of a journey here because that thing is baller. I love that one.

It's got, it's a lot. I don't, it might be too much for me, but it is what it is. At least it's the color orange.

It's the perfect amount for you and I will not hear otherwise.

That is your taco time order. That is the hill you will die on as that sconce is good. Here's my point. that thing where we're looking at that the viewers can't see and the listeners definitely can't see came from china and what that means is the uh the sort of wiring and the bracket behind it it's all a little off and what that means is that walt had to really kind of sort of mess with it and the same thing for the sconce that's in the bathroom i've ordered all this stuff that's presumably been made in china and when it shows up the directions are not very clear and it needs a little it doesn't it's not just like an easy plug and play process right so that is true about those things but it it has led to a frustration on my dad's part that whenever he's installing something and it's not going well he starts talking about chinese bullshit what i couldn't describe to him enough was that this fan was purchased at the home depot it is the home depot i think brand of ceiling fan now was it made maybe in china sure but it's not chinese bullshit it is not some thing that i bought from a weird website that came over on a shipping container and sat in long beach for two weeks it is as far as things you can buy a pretty good product but he was on a ladder muttering about chinese bullshit so much on friday that i thought he may have lost his damn mind but it worked out he got it installed and it is cooling us right now so when he's talking

about chinese bullshit that is sort of uh um that is sort of shorthand are we sort of inferring here that is sort of shorthand for him being disappointed that you've been buying a lot of stuff from the Chinese dark web?

I don't think he thinks about the kind of global macroeconomic implications. I think he just doesn't like that the screws don't line up with the bracketing in the wall or ceiling.

So I wasn't sure if this was sort of a meta conversation. Like, he kind of forgot that this one is from the Home Depot. Like, he's okay with Chinese bullshit if it's coming from... There you go. He's saying it. From the Home Depot. It's more like you've been bringing in a lot of stuff From strange retailers that he's unfamiliar with And now that has sort of gotten in his head Do you think that he would have been saying Chinese bullshit If everything you bought this whole time Had been from the Lowe's Or the Home Depot

I don't think so But I think now it's become It's detached from reality It is detached from the reality of whatever device He's working on and what it means now Is I am frustrated by this process You know what I mean Like, I could bring him some kind of piece of furniture that was made by Amish people in Indiana, and he would be putting it together, and if it was frustrating, he would say, Chinese bullshit. And I would say, this is not an example of that.

I'm sorry, is it Quakers or Shakers? I hate to say that I get in confused. It's Shakies. It's Shakies. Who makes the, like, really nice wooden furniture? Shaker. Shakers, right. So he could be assembling, or I guess you wouldn't have to assemble a shaker.

It could be stickly, anything from the arts and craft movement. He could be assembling something that's very handmade in America, but if it became a problem, he would then slip into Chinese bullshit.

Here's what I'm worried about, and this might be me before.

That I've gotten us now pulled from many of the social media platforms that are run by Chinese bullshit? No, that... And that we are not going to be able to raise the money we need to?

It's that you've let John off the hook. Okay, thank you. There was a lot of grilling going on. There was a lot of hot seating going on.

Yes, I'm sorry. Let me warm that seat right back up. Thanks, Andrew. In my personal opinion, and there would be no way for you to know this, John, I want to explain that this isn't your fault. Thank you, Jack. But I really wish I could have been there with you at Taco Time because I think, and I think people that know know, the the bedrock the foundation of the taco time experience is a quote-unquote soft taco the burrito it's like there's too many other competitors in the burrito space first of all i didn't even know they made a burrito my my guess is if you looked at the original taco time northwest menu because there was a point where taco time worldwide and taco time northwest split off that's what that

was my question for you did did i almost said we did john go to a taco time that you approve of Which location did you go to

So can I say last night I was in my hotel room On Google Maps street viewing it to confirm It was the Tumwater location

Sure I know that one Yes it is that's Taco Time North West I've been there many many times You run a real gauntlet into that one I believe there's a Jack in the Box You're near a McDonald's There's a Subway

So here's the thing Luke I'm not opposed to going there with you I'll eat tacos every day if you want That's great uh i it was a it was a soft burrito wasn't they didn't even this surprised me it wasn't even like if you go to taco bell say they will warm the burrito so it's got that crunch on the outside and it's kind of seals the taco they didn't do that so it was basically the burrito so it was basically a soft shell taco just folded wrapped up but you're saying you got the and i looked it

up there is something on there that is technically called the classic chicken burrito but uh and habanero burrito well that's i mean i mean habanero was invented like three years ago i as a flavor what i'm telling you is that listen i as a youth would sit in a taco time at nine in the morning before it opened watching walt put up menu boards i personally pulled out the in-between parts of the vinyl letters for casita burritos for uh for for crisp burritos for soft tacos i there's nobody more intimately familiar with the menu of this place a classic chicken burrito i don't even remember pulling those letters as a kid i think that that's can i here's what i think happened i'm just gonna i'm just gonna put forward a hot take and i maybe some of the folks from that taco time podcast that i was on can let me know on this i have a feeling that at some point when you had the rise of all this burrito culture right taco time decided oh we can't get left behind people want burritos now we're gonna start something called the classic chicken burrito we're gonna slap it on the menu i'm my guess That that was not on the menu in say 1987 yeah so can I just

You obviously know it's better than I do And we can certainly call Kevin Pelton right at some point See if that's true And also I should say People watching in real time there's a lot of conversation About people getting very hungry in the comments So maybe we move away from this conversation

Are you talking about the audio levels everything is sounding good I haven't seen any negative things

Hypothetically Maybe not when you were growing up it was a thing But classic was it possible that they at one point did introduce a chicken burrito and now in 2024 it's the classic yes it's possible

that this has been there for 20 years right that is still much like the uh tampa bay devil rays that will always be a brand new thing well they're just the rays now i don't care i don't care i don't care when the tampa bay devil rays have been around for 45 years they will be a new team also the san jose sharks will always be one year old to me like there are things that will always be like recent even if there's been four decades of it. And for me, something like the classic chicken burrito is one of those things. What I would have recommended for you and what we will do, John, when you and I and by the way, Andrew, I'd like to tell you this the taco time that I will take you, my home store now, my home taco time, guess what is across the parking lot? A subway. So you can still go visit the subway, but what I will have you get, John, is a chicken soft taco, chicken soft taco, the whatever they're calling them now And by the way, shout out to Taco Time They're not calling them Mexi Fries anymore Tater Tots, because that's all they are I forget what they're calling them, but they changed that name Which, good job, be open to change And

or not putting a weirdly racist name on your french fries or your tater tots i will get i will i will recommend for you a chicken soft taco that i think is the sweet spot and that is the classic because i think the soft taco in my whole growing up experience was always part of the taco time thing i think that's what they do best now i also understand andrew why you are not so big on taco time because the best part of anything you eat from taco time is this weird quote-unquote ranch dressing that they put in stuff which is really just a sour cream but it's like the kernels like herbs and spices it is like some proprietary thing where they take some amount of ranch dressing and some amount of something else and they mix up this whole thing and it is nothing like ranch dressing with a taste that's oddly familiar i have um but that's i don't think you like that

anyway i don't go for sour creamy things i don't go for like any kind of um usually kind of white crema on my food I have something, I've been holding my tongue here for a long time and I realize that we're all the printers, I think the copiers got everybody a little bit worked up

Santa must have gotten up very early to bring you this episode

Oh, that nasty old elf Alright I have a theory that I think might be considered a hot take here and I think that John's going to give me some flack for this but based on everything I'm hearing from John and everything I'm hearing from Luke and everything I'm hearing secondhand from the person who helped John prepare his order yesterday, the description of the soft taco, which is a very oversized soft taco, which is going to have a lot of the same ingredients as a burrito. John thinks he ate two burritos yesterday. Is there a chance that you actually ate a burrito and a soft taco?

No, they were. It was.

I know. Listen, I can get to the bottom of this once and for all. Did it have rice in it The product you were eating

I think so You think so Listen man I can't even have this conversation Throw it in the air And eat it Like a killer whale At SeaWorld I kind of did Because we were like We told Luke we were going to be there We gotta go set up I wharfed these things down the car You don't remember Oh you were driving No no no We were parked in the parking lot But I was like In the car We got hit the road Well because Andrew went across to Subway It'd be weird if he brought a sandwich in And I went to eat alone In the taco time Gotcha So we ate together in the car

Because if there was rice in it Then it was, and I'm just basing this on the website It was the classic chicken burrito If there was not rice, it might have been in the Soft taco department, listen We don't need to litigate this anymore Here, we can Go to a real taco time Together and revisit This whole thing at a future point this week

We don't need to litigate, but I do want on the record I, Jonathan Harris Sklaroff, that's my middle name Harris, like Franco

Do you respect him a little bit more? I kind of do. I have a lot of respect for you. Like the immaculate reception.

This is a serious point I want to make. This is a serious message. I know the difference between a taco and a burrito.

No, you think you do. But the problem is, listen, my friend, it's okay. It's not on you. I think they muddy the waters. That's what I'm saying. This is a Northwest specific thing where they're calling some sour cream thing ranch dressing. They're calling burrito soft tacos. Up is down. Right is wrong. dogs laying with cats it's a weird world that i wouldn't expect you to i wouldn't expect you to understand it john you couldn't even begin to understand what's going on at a taco time things

you shouldn't understand well i'm excited to go with you okay i have a i'm not saying your

experience will be any better but i will try to give you in fact it'll be likely worse because i'm gonna be sitting i'm gonna be perched over you like a hawk i'm gonna need a stool so i can

sit i'm gonna be pre-chewing your food and i'm gonna spit it into your mouth oh my god all right I'm a little anxious here because there's a couple of more points I want to make regarding the trip down and then I know we really want to talk about the TBTL-a-thon and how people can support what we're doing here but I just noticed we've totally lost my camera now too that's interesting but that's okay it doesn't matter we have the two shot that's important but oh okay good okay here's what I was going to say regarding Subway just a quick point here we don't have to do the whole taco time treatment to this. But regarding ordering things in classic menus, do you recall, Luke, I'm going to say it was about this time last summer, we had some pretty significant conversations on the show about the changing menu at Subway. They introduced all these other kind of fancy sandwiches and everything. And then I actually did the only kind of journalism I've ever done before, which is I sandwich face. I marched myself down to a local Subway to check out the new menu. And then to see, um you know if i could order what i used to order off of the classic menu and it turns out they their big menu boards showed off all the new stuff but um there is a smaller menu that says hey you You can still order.

the like spicy italian or the bmt or whatever right and i've always maintained one of the most unfortunately named the bmt yeah named after that subway stop yeah um but anyway uh and so i've i've been able to do that now i have not gone to a subway in i guess some time now and so as i walk over to the subway that's kind of across the street from the taco time i go in i'm staring at the menu they don't have the old classic menu anywhere anymore now you can just basically build your own sandwich but i don't remember what i i could yeah i always got the bmt and the spicy italian confused i just order one of those and say no cheese and then put the vegetables and stuff on yeah um and yesterday i'm staring and luckily the person behind the counter who at first i was like oh no he looks like he really doesn't want to be at work today but it turns out he was a really helpful guy and i really appreciate that because that is not an easy job what is the town again he's like working at a time water tum water off the highway gateway to lacy on a hot sunday

afternoon you know and this guy was really nice can i just add a little uh addendum to that i would say that in my experience i've had more surprisingly good customer service moments with people who are working at a very beleaguered subway sandwich shop there's one that is near becca's place down in the south waterfront of portland and i'm trying to remember what happened oh you know what it was I think it was when we had this like ice storm so everything was closed but it was the only thing that was walking distance because you couldn't drive right it was the only thing that was walking distance that wasn't closed and I walked in and the guy one dude working there and he was like I just want to I just got to tell you this is what I'm out of right now and like there was no resupply coming and but then based on what they still had left he crafted something for me and was so helpful about it and this was a guy who was like the only thing standing between this entire neighborhood and starvation was this one guy at this subway and that's experiences like that i there's a subway south of here somewhere that had like i got there one time at 958 and i walk in and there are these two teens right now when i was a teen and i worked at bumpy's fruit and yogurt that place closed allegedly at i think 10 p.m peter williams and i had that thing shut down by 915 latest we had the chairs up we would mean mug anyone who came in because we did not want a to be there and b to have to re-clean everything these two teens when i walked into this subway one minute before they closed were so helpful so thoughtful even though i was like and can i also have uh peppers does that mean you have to reopen the peppers like no problem and can i get a diet coke they're like no problem they had to get this there's a weird thing that goes on the fountain drink that you clean every night that goes on the like nozzle they're cleaning those every night but they had to like go get one out of the cleaning solution and then but they were so kind to me even though i was doing the thing that would have made me so

ticked off if i need you to be strong right now i know i'm already stressing and now she's about

to see us i mean if normally she sees me engaged in a version of self-love this is a straight-up

orgy of podcasting oh yeah no no can i quit yeah not until friday even during a usual show you get very uncomfortable when the male person shows up during your recording and now although now you can show that like now there's proof that you're not just talking to nobody that there's

actually somebody at the other end maybe i'll get lucky and she'll just assume this is a support group by the way it also doesn't look like the regular person oh okay that's the crazy part i Actually, I guess, probably. It's not the same person, surprisingly. Anyway, we're going to get through this together. Okay, so back to your sandwich order.

So unfortunately, the Subway website here forces you to choose a specific Subway in order to see the menu, which is really bad design, I think. It's not very helpful to me right now. But here's the deal. They no longer have the kind of, well, here's our old offerings over here to the side. They've revamped the menu entirely, and they have two sandwiches that sound sort of like the old sandwiches that I used to get. One is, like, the Super BMT or something, which sounds even worse, right? Yeah, no, God. And then there's one's called the, like—

You're going to want to steam clean the bathroom after that.

They also have something called the Steam Cleaner, which— That didn't sound super great to me either.

The Punisher. The toilet bowl is what will be punished.

But then they had the other—like, whatever the spicy Italian was is now called, like, the New York Spicerone or something. It's not that, but it's something like that. And then, like—

The New York—I'm spicing here.

And, like, the board shows what's on, and it's mostly like the other ones, only they both have double cheese. Now, I always order these without cheese anyway, so I said to the guy, I'm like, I'm trying to get the BNT.

I order them with double cheese. Can you somehow, can we set up a system where I get your cheese you're not using and so I don't have to pay more? Like a credit system, a cheese credit system. Like a credit swap?

Like a cheese swap? Well, I did show this fella behind the counter

is is very helpful i'm like hey i don't want to be a pain i'm just curious you guys not do the old bmt stuff anymore he's like no we have these two things they're like closer i'm like okay well can i get like the the super doopy bmt or whatever but no cheese he's like oh you can but like the whole thing about it is as double cheese and i can only ring it up at that price and i was like oh don't yeah i'm like just don't worry about that i'll just take a classic chicken burrito and be on my way i did say and he kind of laughed because i kind of wasn't joking i did say i'm like oh don't worry about that. I'm like, if you want to throw a couple of extra cold cuts on there or something, do it. And he just sort of laughed. And I wasn't sure if that laugh was like, yeah, what kind of a world do you think we live in that I can throw extra? Wow. So you've got a very like

official kind of rule following type of person, sandwich artist. I'm not sure because where they

may in this particular subway, and I told you I was not going to belabor this and I'm doing that the place where they make your sandwich with all the vegetables is behind glass where you can see them making it but where they make the sandwich with the cold cuts i've never seen this before they had like a metal thing that was blocking my view so i couldn't actually i don't like that a real black box situation hiding huh like so i couldn't see like and i don't wonder if that does have to do with people saying i want more meat or something i don't know what it was but i couldn't see the sandwich making process the end of the day the sandwich was fine but talk about not being able to go home again like i've watched my menu items that i ordered for years and years shrink significantly until it was in a corner and now it's not available anymore. So anyway, if anybody has any input on that, let me know.

Can I have real quick input? So Luke, the way I need to go with you to Taco Time, I need to go with Andrew to Subway because I was a sandwich artist at a believer sandwich shop. And I bet

your customer service was off the charts.

It was pretty good. Because you're a very helpful person. It was fine. I was 17 or whatever, 16. But I could go there with you, Andrew, and tell you exactly what's in the BMT and what's in a spicy time.

Build your own We can get you a card and laminated Andrew That you can just bring places Or even just wear it around your neck A placard that just says This is my subway order please

If found please order Andrew this sandwich I love that Alright one last tale from the trip down here That I really need to tell you Is it Jeep related? Oh do you want to hold off on Jeep talk? No I want to hear this John I want to say this in all seriousness I love you, and you are a great person. I'm going to roast you a little bit here, but it's out of love, and I don't want you to think that, like, oh, no, I come to Washington State to podcast with my co-bros, and I'm going to be the butt of jokes, and that is not the dynamic that we are setting up here. Having said this. Boom. Roasted. Something happened on the way here that I just found so delightful that we've got to talk about. And it begins with John rolling into my driveway to pick me up, which was great. So John rented a car. He came all the way north from the airport. That's like a 30-minute drive at least to pick me up at home. Probably 40 maybe so that we could load up all of this equipment and then re-drive past the airport and come all the way down here. And that was a huge help, and I appreciate it. You rented the car. You got like a midsize or something last week, but you rolled up in a Jeep Willis. Apparently, you got the upgrade.

Yeah. Now, let me just for folks that missed last year's Thawne, we that was random at that time. I think I flew into SeaTac and the rental car they provided to us was this Jeep. It was just like an upgrade or something. Probably wizard status. And we all kind of fell in love with that vehicle.

Well, with the lifestyle.

Yes, that's right. And I think you were booting it in the ass. That's right. Fairly frequently. I saw a whole other side. That's right. I was driving that. A very sexy side of you when driving the Willis. And I was I'll tell you what I was surprised When you guys Rolled up here To the Madrona Hill studio As I was watering My crops Powerful Farmer burbs Vibrations That really made it I looked up And there you were In a Jeep Willis And I just thought Well maybe this is The official vehicle Of TB Telethons now

And that was your choice And again You're a very Responsible business boy We're gonna But you're like We're gonna sprinkle A little Little bit extra cash On this So that we can have The Jeep Willis

Yeah so

How much extra cash

Did this Jeep Willis set us back

Okay so I don't want to get into too many specifics That is a bad answer How many classic chicken burritos I need everyone to become a dazzling donor Right now We the three of us Are going back and forth trying to find a good rental Andrew's like hey John would you mind taking care of this For whatever reason I'm only finding them High prices

And we found out too I just want to mention There's a lot of jokes made at my expense On this show and that ends now No, we talk a lot about my wizard status at Avis, but holy smokes, that makes a real difference. It does. Not to get into the minutiae of car rentalship, but like what the going rate...

was for this car for a week and what unfortunately I couldn't rent it under my account because then I would have to be there to actually take possession of the vehicle so we just had to go with the and this is by the way why we really need to raise some money this week because we spent our entire THON budget on this rental Jeep but no the prices that were coming back were you know pretty high

the estimate that you got with your wizard status was literally a tenth of what we were being quoted I mean go Skydance

I would like to salute my new bosses at Skydance, which is apparently who I work for at CBS now. They're acquiring Paramount. Oh, really? That's all approved. Thank you, Larry Ellison's son. I would just like to tell you I've always loved your dad's work at Oracle.

The Golden State Warriors, I think, right? Probably.

I actually think Larry Ellison's a bad dude. I think he's got some maybe bad political takes. But all that is to say, the rental car was surprisingly expensive on paper, but there was kind of no way around it.

John you did find a kind of a good deal so I will say so when Andrew and I were texting about this I found and I found a number that was very reasonably in our budget and I said hey this is what it costs the next day is when I actually went to go book it it was like $200 cheaper oh nice like great so I booked the midsize at that lower cost when I went to go get the car I said hey I'm thinking about upgrading uh-huh do you have a jeep wheels and as some people are commenting On YouTube It is a Jeep Wrangler Willis is like the addition or whatever it is

So Willis is an upgrade from a Wrangler?

It's a type of Wrangler

But it's an upgrade from the midsize we were going to get

And they said yeah it's this much more per day And I said no way because it was like some ridiculous cost How much more per day? It was like an extra 50 bucks a day

A day so we're going A lot So I said no

I said no Hold on

It's only 30 more seconds I'm sorry, continue

So I was like, forget it, let's just go to the mid-size And she was like, okay So I go down the floor And the guy who I give the slip to Did you steal this Jeep? Listen, we need a Danny Maybe multiple And the guy comes over and he's like Oh, and then he said to me And I saw the Willis was right there Because they pulled it around expecting I was going to take it And it's sitting right in front of me And the guy says, hey, you thinking of upgrading? I was like, well, I was thinking of the Willis But it's a little too much for our budget And he said well what'd she quote you there I said an extra 50 a day He goes I could do it for 25 a day So I said that actually puts us back At the original price I found When I told Andrew This was Enterprise right

I find Enterprise the most fascinating Rental car agency Do you know that for a period of time And it might still be the case Enterprise was the number one hirer Of recent college graduates in America The whole thing with Enterprise is they just carpet bomb job expos at colleges and they really want to hire a certain kind of sort of go-getter who's recently out of college and wants to learn business skills. They want to be a business person. And it's like a very big, like it's a management training thing. And they also though are very much always kind of trying to upsell you in a way. Like the fact that a second person met you to say like, what's it going to take to get you into this Willis? You would never get that kind of attention from Avis Even if you're a wizard They have no system for getting you into a car That's slightly more expensive than you meant to be in

Yeah, no, they definitely wanted to upsell me But the whole point of that is to say The total cost of the rental, even with the upgrade Is what I originally found that we budgeted for So the midsize would have been a little cheaper Oh wait, hold on Do you think this is what I'm roasting you about?

This is not even the point of my answer

This is not even what he's mad about It's not even the money?

Oh!

I did assume it was the money too

No, no, no, no, no, no I just wanted to establish I'm sorry I just wanted to establish the fact that we are now Jeep boys again And what we learned Last year Is that there's a Jeep culture that goes around Being Jeep boys Which I had completely forgotten about So we really enjoyed driving that Jeep Willis last year, I think I was the primary driver During the last thon, John's been driving And again, I actually really appreciate it John's been doing a lot of the driving over the past couple of days but do you remember and I'm sure you do that there by the way I just realized we've had a caller on hold for 37 minutes and 30 seconds thanks for hanging in there caller I had forgotten that we got excited when we realized Jeep owners like consider themselves part of sort of a Jeep club yeah there's a lot of waving and there's a little like kind of a very casual cool guy wave that one hand on the steering wheel yes kind of a thing exactly so I had forgotten about that mm-hmm until yep we are driving down the highway and we got off the high we weren't on the highway

I'm quite sure we were on the highway Because he passed us on the left

We were turning I think to get onto the highway It wasn't on the highway Okay you tell your version of the story

I believe we were on the highway And we're talking I'm looking out my window The next thing I know John has turned into A Labrador retriever Who has not seen his family In six months I've seen soldiers come home from war and greet their dogs and dogs have been more blasé than John was as he reached across the console and grabbed my John's driving and he's grabbing my arm he did it, he did it look and he's pointing out the window and there's a jeep passing us on the left and there's some cool looking chill guy who I'm just catching the end of his little wave towards us and I gotta say if the culture of jeep culture is that you kind of give this cool guy wave john's reaction to this was the least chill i don't think we're allowed to be in the jeep club anymore what i saw from you was a level of excitement which was honestly i wish i had that much like spirit left inside this old husk of the soul of mine yeah but on the other hand probably runs counter to what the spirit of the

jeep wave is see i want to just defend john for a minute i think it's a big tent he's right it's a Big tent, the Jeep culture, and I think they need excited boys as much as they need chill boys.

Good, good. You need some defense there, but I will say you sprung to life in a way that I have just never seen before.

I can tell you definitively, we were pulling up to a stop sign or a light, and we were turning right, because this guy was coming from the other direction, from the crossway, and turning left.

This person was not coming. John, we're thinking of a different thing, because we commented on the back of it. For a second, I thought he had Punisher plates over the back of his tail. Oh, boy.

You're picturing something else. He was passing us on the left. The guy I was thinking of didn't give us the wave. Yes, there was another guy. There was a guy who did not give you the wave. Did he, though, have Punisher plates?

He probably heard about the first guy. The first guy told the Jeep network. No, no. This guy passed us on the left. I'm so embarrassed. I think we did not have Punisher. No. Okay.

I think it was a pirate skull. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I misremembered, and you're right. And I definitely, like, grabbed your arm. You literally grabbed my arm and pulled me close to you. John, I love this.

I absolutely love this level of enthusiasm. And I don't let Andrew dim your light at all, please. Because I think if I were a grizzled Jeep driver and I saw someone driving a Willis and they were psyched about my wave, that would make me. It's like to see somebody who's like, as Andrew said, young, their spirit is not getting crushed. They're excited. about it. And you know what? Honestly, I'm on the wrong side of that story. Sorry, Joe. We need that kind of enthusiasm is the dilithium crystal that powers TBTL. And I mean that. Like, over exaggerated enthusiasm for this show is really what we're here to tap into this week.

Thank you for being a 10.

Because, of course, this is TBTL-a-thon 15. And we have some amazing thank you gifts that we have hand forged. And by that I mean we have done nothing on the bracelets more on that coming up but in the meantime john can you take us through a little list of the awesome uh thank you gifts that we have for folks at various

levels absolutely yeah i should have had this pulled up like a good employee well you're busy

defending yourself from uh personal assassination from andrew well actually really to be honest you're getting both barrels i was assassinating your taco time ordering character and john uh Andrew was assassinating your Jeep driving character. Yeah. So anyway, I hear you'll be heading back to Minnesota tonight.

I'm going to drive the Jeep all the way home. So for everyone who donates, everyone, you get the TBTL friendship bracelet. One of us will hand make it. Maybe.

I feel like I owe you several friendship bracelets right now.

Yeah. I just like to point out that I'm wearing my Business Boys one right now from Danielle Walsh.

You know what? I'm putting mine on because it's time to do some business, boys. Yeah. Time to raise some money for TBTL

Andrews is around his mic stand So we're all representing the business boys I also have the TBTL one I got the 4,000th last year from Danielle's children And then a couple my wife made for me Excellent Any donation

Will get a handmade TBTL friendship bracelet When are we going to Actually reveal what is going to be on the bracelets Maybe We need some excitement later this week And we need somebody to remind me Let's run through I sent a panicked text Last week Because I had forgotten what the phrases were And I was worried they were going to be too long To fit on a bracelet But

We'll come back to the topic of the bracelets because I know this is a big thing for the listeners. But what else do we have as a thank you here during the thought?

The other physical items we have are all junior sluggers related, which is awesome. People have been very excited about that. So at the $10 a month level, you're going to get the... Doesn't it just like kind of hype you up? A day after both our teams lost yesterday. So at $10 a month You get the TBTL pennant Which is I think it's We've described it as Like the collegiate Varsity layers Andrew designed it It's really slick It looks Yes It just looks really awesome It is

Imagine it in your study Or your bedroom Yeah

If you went to Texas business Teaching Time Teaching Learning Learning Then I think that's what it stood for Yeah Yeah Yeah that sounds right Display it with pride

Yeah so that sounds right So that's the $10 a month At $15 a month you get the Junior Sluggers Ball cap Very excited about that You also are a daily donor at that point So you get thanked on air when we start doing that later this year At $25 a month You're still a daily donor And then at that point you also get a Junior Sluggers Raglan Tee It's confirmed

People know that you say

John don't make me come at you a third time Google Raglan Tee Sure, we'll Google a lot of things, but it's champing at the bit instead of chomping at the bit. Do we correct people on that? Yes, we do. We are insufferable. Okay, it's a ragging. I'll call it a ragging.

It's the three-quarter length tee with a tee-be-tailed across the front, and it says Junior Sluggers on the back with a number 10. That's super awesome. I'm so proud of this.

I think you said this on the show, maybe almost picture beer league softball kind of jersey. Yeah, I love it.

It's the 80s. Your mom is dating a guy named Dale. He comes over after playing softball For the transmission shop That he works at

To go over some paperwork

He smells like cigarettes and funny water But it was the 80s So nobody cared So imagine that shirt he was wearing

But it says TBTL not Dale's transmission shop

No it does not say Dale's transmission shop Next year it'll say Dale's transmission shop

At the $50 a month level That's a dazzling donor As it has been for several years

It's a dazzling donation of dough, and we do appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely.

So as a dazzler, you get all the physical, all three of those before, the pendant, the hat, the shirt, and the bracelet, of course. Plus, you get your personalized message on air. You can send in and mock the guys and defend me in that message, please, and thank you.

It's going to be a long year. Yeah, I'm going to press. If the new move is defending Sklarov, defending your Sklarov.

i'm gonna i'm gonna why i send those emails to dazzling doors because they please say very like i could really use a win here please luke and andrew are teaming up on me yeah please mock the guys uh mercilessly and then uh if you have the capacity and you want to do it a super generous i mean every gift is yes and appreciated for real for real yeah uh but if you have any to do a hundred dollars a month you get all the things from the dazzler level plus the uh cameo message if we can call it that i believe we call it the word up we call it the word up message where

we will record a personal video for you or someone you love or someone you hate i mean we will talk about the parameters of this and i would and i would just speak for myself clothing optional really something to send to your nemesis yeah you must really hate somebody

that much? I hope not

for their soul. No, we're taking that

off the table. Clothing is not optional. You cannot request what we will not be wearing.

No, you're saying clothing is mandatory.

Yes, exactly. I believe that the people recording the video message can decide the amount of and type of clothing that they are wearing, but we will record a video message for you or someone that you love or maybe hate, but we've got to talk to the

lawyers about that. What if it's someone you think would like TVTL and you want them to listen?

that's definitely gonna be a shirt on situation so those are the thank you gifts at the various different levels i think we've covered most of

it other than as there's a drive in a deep left field by castellanos it will be a home run

and so that'll make it a four nothing ball game but the real thing is um whatever amount that works for you uh is just that you if you have not yet donated tbtl maybe this is the year for you to do that if you have been donating thank you thank you thank you one other like footnote if you are donating at a level that you feel really good about and you want to keep that rolling you can just do that right john and you will receive the thank you gift at whatever level

that is on the other hand and you don't have to do anything that's what i really i really want to do less as the kids say yeah so let's just say you're somebody who's giving currently at the um $15.

a month level and you're like, I want to get that hat and I want to keep on donating at that exact level I'm already giving monthly. You don't have to, you don't have to do anything. You go to the website and take a look at the hat you're going to be getting, but you don't have to fill anything

out. It's only if you want to make a change to that. Right. If you would like to maybe move up a level because you are eyeing that sweet, sweet sluggers Jersey, or you want that sweet, sweet word up video message from us, whatever level you might be moving to, that would be incredible. I want to point out that like last year, we were really blown away by the generosity of the 10s and frankly relieved because what it meant was we were able to keep doing this. We were able, we did not know last year when we were in my parents' basement, we've made it all the way from my parents' basement to my unfinished ADU kitchen. What a, I mean, what a come up for a show. But we did not know last year if this was going to work. We were leaving APM. We were walking away from all that Carvana money And by the way I hear Carvana ads on other podcasts And I just think you poor son of a bitches

Let's not do anything for you

You sad sad People that are still using ad revenue But we We really went out on a limb last year And the tens of listeners stepped up Like so with so much generosity And I know people really dug deep And it meant so much to us again Not just because it meant like we can still do Like this is a real thing this is a business that we can do um but just because you know again you had a lot of people that that were participating in donating tbtl but they had to like stop one donation stream start another one it was we were asking a lot of people and and so that was incredible of course because we are who we are i immediately went from extreme gratitude about what people did to the last thon to abject and intense fear about what would happen in the next tbtl a.k.a this one yeah because it might not feel as much like do or die it might not feel like the show is gonna go away if we don't donate but the i'm happy to tell you the show will still go away if people don't donate we're the same thing applies as last year which is we can only do this because of people's generosity we're already seeing some donations come in and um i just want to say if you got in early thank you very much even maybe members of my own family named david who jumped in at the dazzling donation level i was thinking that uh it might be a some kind of a a misclick from my brother david from the basement who is now a dazzling donor but he said to me and this is legally binding no give backs and i texted him to say did you mean to do that and he said i did mean to do that so shout out to the people who've already supported the show shout out to the people who uh will be supporting the show during this week um we we appreciate you we just want to be able to keep doing this for another year so can i jump in real quick with just one maintenance

thing not to money the message but people in the comments are asking this Andrew you said you're 100% right if you're happy with the level you're at you don't have to do a thing we'll send you the gift if you are t-shirt eligible after the thon we're going to send you some emails to get your size and what you want so hang tight if you're going to get the t-shirt we'll notify you

about it was my understanding that we're sending everybody baby tees onesies actually that is yeah for for like sizing information for the shirts that's going to happen after the thon whether you're donating at a new level or the same level or whatever. We're going to handle that all after the thon. And there are kind of unisex cuts and there are women's cuts in these T-shirts. And so you'll be able to make those decisions too. Don't worry about that right now.

I want to directly address something that Jacob Johnson just proposed in the comments. I wonder if you can use your dazzling donor message space to throw up a Carvana ad. Yes. Oh, wow. The answer is a solid yes. If you would like to use, I mean, it's your nickel.

That's true.

It's your many nickels. It's your hundreds of nickels.

Speaking of the listeners, I don't know if we're ready for this yet, but I will say we have had a caller who can hold for 52 minutes now. Wait a sec. Andrew, hold on.

I've failed in my one job, which is to have this, let's see, to spell the word ahoy correctly and have, okay, I've got the audio ready. Okay, so let's see. Ahoy, ahoy? Hi there. You are the first caller to this year's TV Telethon. What's your name? we're keeping a tradition going it's max in brooklyn max welcome back thank you and by the way way to keep like right on the edge of your seat you've been sitting there for so long that it would not have been surprising if when we finally activated your line you had fallen asleep or had gone out for a sandwich or something you were like ready to go absolutely i'm always ready

so i have i have one thing first to a quick close the loop on the raglan sleeves conversation yes okay as a as a knitter i understand it's a it's a term of construction when you have a sleeve that starts at the shoulder that's a standard sleeve the raglan sleeve actually starts at the collar and widens out from there and

that's what the raglan sleeve means. And that's that style.

But I'm right, Max. No, no, I think Max is disagreeing with you, right? Correct?

No, no, no. That is correct. It is a correct description of that style. Vindication. There's been comments about it being a contrasting color. It's about the construction of the sleeve to the rest of the torso of the shirt.

So in other words, in the IC, so the sleeve does not start at the shoulder if it's raglan. it starts at the collar so it's not a new there's not a seam at the shoulder like the shirt that I'm wearing right now is it has a seam on the shoulder it's a short sleeve shirt from J.Crew right but but the raglan is because it starts here and emanates down the arm okay and and by the way I'm sure that for everyone who's going to donate who I was going to make a joke and say everyone in our audience who's a knitter will know exactly what John's talking but I realized that's most of our audience we have a very very high percentage of people

that knit which by the way we will be having a tbtl craft night tonight where you can show off your knitting projects or anything else what is it i just crafted my pants tbtl presents i just crafted my pants and if you go to tbtl.net if you haven't signed up to get your zoom link yet it of course is free it's just a chance for us all to hang out tonight i think tonight's gathering is at 6 p.m pacific time um and you just go to tbtl.net if you want to sign up for that are you going to be joining us for either one of those we're doing it today and wednesday max

I am signed up for both I am looking forward to it I also wanted to

yeah well what did you want to say next Max

that I took two weeks ago I took my first ever trip to Seattle

you didn't tell us

you guys have a hell of a town out there

yeah what did you do

I was visiting a friend to basically do recon on his new girlfriend

oh which went well

nice happy with the new girlfriend happy with his mindset okay um now how does he tell you

if you don't mind though how does he say i need you to get eyes on this situation i need you to do some under deep cover i need you to kind of like assess oh no this was the other way around

this is a friend who just got out of a divorce about eight months ago and i was like he's in he's he does this thing where he jumps in quick and fast i don't know anything about that make

sure he's making that mistake again i see so in other words he didn't ask you to do this this was a self-appointed low-key mission correct ah but you've decided that this is not another case of him just rebounding into something overly serious you actually feel like this was a good call

yeah i think i think it's a good relationship for the time being if it grows into something

else great if not he's going to be fine what were you practicing a speech that you were going to give if you felt like this wasn't the healthiest great question relationship for him oh a hundred

percent um yeah i mean i talked to a couple of our our mutual friends this is my best friend who i met in grad school and um i was talking to another friend i was like listen i'm willing to risk our friendship for the next five years if it means getting you to not make the same mistake again if you have to make that if that breaks us for five years i know i'll be here waiting

when you wow that is that was that was the pitch and and so you were going to start if this seemed to you to be a bad a bad match you were going to say this is a bad match and i'm willing to suffer the fallout of our friendship just to really kind of let you know that i think it's not in your best interest what without getting too specific too loud or too specific what were you looking for to indicate to you that this was a bad idea for your friend um mostly it was sort of how he was

approaching the relationship and he he talked to me specifically about saying like i know i just got out of this thing i know i have this habit i really like this woman but i i don't know if this is the forever thing she's really great for me now and hearing that from him gave me confidence to be able to assess her on her own terms and then she was a really really lovely person

were you almost disappointed that you couldn't give the speech that you practiced

i was a little disappointed because i thought it was going to be a really powerful moment but i was i was ultimately and in the long run very relieved that i didn't have to risk

one of my closest friendships in the world how do you feel about julia roberts playing you in the movie version of this because it does seem like definitely there's been a movie where Julia Roberts has to tell Cameron Diaz that the person that she's dating is a bad fit and it's okay if it means they can't be friends for five years and it's either a Dermot Mulroney or a Declan McDonald

i don't think either of those are people just okay well agree to disagree and and as you know i'm an actor i'm playing myself yes yes you are right yes you are hey how's that going by the

way were you was it last thawne or the one before where i believe you were checking in from the

south where you were part of a stage production yes i was in a play i was in alabama last year when we chatted and I am gearing up to do make my off-Broadway debut in just a couple of weeks what's the show um it's called the Sabbath girl um it's going to be at 59 East 59 theaters thanks for letting me plug for absolutely um yeah and it's a it's a sweet uh rom-com musical it's five

actors a piano and a cello that's great it's called the sabbath girl yeah okay and it's at

59 59 that's the theater yeah 59 east 59 that's the the address and the name of the theater easy

to remember that's actually very smart all right everybody if you're passing through new york or you live in new york uh go see max in the sabbath girl come check it out after you after you go to

tbtl.net and donate then you can do a Bing search for the Sabbath girl and find tickets there. Okay.

Excellent. Thank you, Max. Thank you very much for being part of TBTL. Thanks for calling in again and good luck on the show, man. Break a leg. Thanks. Bye, Max. All right, my friends. I don't think we can avoid it any longer. And by my friends, I mean you, too. My colleagues, friends and colleagues.

I thought I was off the hook for a second.

There's a sort of an elephant in the room that we have not really been discussing. And it's, in fact, right out of the frame of the shot here. And what it is is a tremendously large number of beads. Doesn't look like anything to me. I think it's about 50,000, actually. Beads. We, how many do you think it is, John? Legitimately, it's about 50,000. 50,000 beads.

Is that really 50,000?

What's the street value of that? What is the street value of this mountain? I mean, it is legitimately a mountain of beads that we, I guess, are going to be making into hundreds and possibly thousands. I mean, ideally thousands of thank you bracelets, a friendship bracelet, I should say, related to this TBTL-a-thon. As we've already mentioned, anybody who donates at any level is going to receive a handmade by one of the three of us friendship bracelet tbtl friendship bracelet now i think one of the things that i was sort of imagining was that this table that we're working at which i thought was like enormous it's a piece of wood from my friend toby's house on vashon his property he brought it by one day and it i thought was more than ample for our purposes i thought we were each going to have like our computers and then a uh bracelet making workstation and somehow in my mind i thought we were going to just be making bracelets throughout the show and just like it was going to become so second nature that we could keep talking and making which by the way is belied by my experience at all yesterday when john was trying to play the audio of the yankees game and i said kayate have you i was like i can't think about setting up the show and listen to the yankees at the same time have you ever heard me try to talk when all i'm trying to do is talk i mean it makes no sense it makes no sense my idea that we were going to be making bracelets as we were talking but that was part of how i thought we were going to get to the finish line on this was that this room we're in the madrona hill studio was going to just be a constant sort of like churn of friendship bracelet making and i'm already realizing that doesn't work because we are doing the show and um and we can't we can't concentrate and then the other thing that makes me nervous is when the show is over and we would transition into what will be bracelet making time it is going to be getting increasingly hot i know it's like feels

fine right now it's so fine right now it's actually perfect right now it is very nice but if you

remember yesterday towards the end of the day it did get pretty toasty in here definitely it just doesn't feel like ideal bracelet making weather when the show is off the air sure so this is not me trying to wriggle off the hook on this but this is me saying i the listeners fears may have been somewhat well founded i am now a little more daunted by this project than i was before we started started i'm daunted by this project in a way that i wasn't before we started so i guess i just wanted to say uh how are we all feeling the three of us the the two of you well i'll tell you what I was

just mesmerized by something outside your window which can also help us in this situation oh good

i'm looking at is it a person who's volunteering to make bracelets is it my neighbor brian somebody

i'm thinking we can volunteer to help us because i was just watching like literally an idyllic scene of a little boy i'm gonna put him at maybe age six or seven i don't know if you know your neighbors over there but they they're not in sight right now but it was a little boy playing with his dog And it was like some sort of a, like a, I don't know, like a kind of a, I was going to say a full-sized dog. I mean, it's like a standard size. It's a mid-sized dog. You upgrade it? John has a way to upgrade it. It's a Willis? I don't know. It's some sort of like a black lab-y sized dog, although I don't think it was a black lab. It was a black dog. And I just saw this little boy like kind of let the dog like kind of out of his little. Oh, he did it? And then he was like running around. The dog was chasing him. They were playing together. And I'm like, that is such a nice thing to watch while we're podcasting. And then I thought, that kid's got small hands. He could make a lot of bracelets for us. And I can play with this dog while he does it. Are you proposing we kidnap a kid? No, no, no, no, no, no. We're letting him in on an opportunity.

He's being frienditioned.

He's being frienditioned. Frienditioned. All right. More to your point, though. I just needed to share what I saw because it was very idyllic. I love where you live here, Luke. It's very nice. I'm sorry. What was that noise?

I'm just, it's the growing anxiety I have around us trying to get this project done. Oh, yeah, okay, I thought it was about your yard. Okay, no, no, no, no.

There's a lot of beads there. There's a lot of beads. So we got to get started this afternoon. I mean, the good news is you kept saying that, you know, like me and John have a lot of work this afternoon. I think I'm relatively clear. I know I'm the one with the kind of funky hands here, and I don't mean that in the kind of the good way. Funky little hands. I used to tour with James Brown. I was the funky hands guy. Uh-huh. Yeah, then I tried to do my own. Chicken foot opened for you guys, right? I tried to do my own thing. It did not. Turns out I really needed James Brown. But anyway, like I have some time this afternoon, certainly. And if things get really, really hot here, I mean, I guess we could go our separate ways with a little stash of beads. I could go to my hotel room. But that's kind of sad. I don't want to do that.

This was my idea. We are having a Zoom tonight based around the premise of crafting. And we must have tens who know how to do this. And I guess what I'm wondering is, can we? This also forestalls us making any bracelets for another 10 hours. can some tens please zoom in tonight at 6 p.m west coast for the uh i crafted my pants zoom session and can someone kind of show us how to do this on zoom i'm a visual learner yeah

honestly me too that is one thing genevieve was concerned for us before uh i left uh here on sunday so saturday night genevieve went to she just like had this like sort of anxiety about this project you know what that's so sweet it is very sweet i'm like it's fine it's fine she's like do you know how to make them i'm like no somebody like kind of gave us these spinner things she's like do you know how to use them i'm like no she's like you need needles i'm like i don't know how needles come into this she's like you need needles to do this and she's like so she went to joanne fabrics and came home with a couple of extra uh bead making needles and another spinner for us which i don't know if we need to expense that or not or if that's a gift from Genevieve to us but um anyway so like expensive to the U-Dub

yeah that's right thank you Boundless Beats

hey Boundless Beats I love that that's a show title

so anyway um yeah so I would love that because I gotta say Genevieve brought this spinner home and I'm staring at it and I'm like shit man I really don't know I have no idea how this is even supposed to work

what about following Alana's idea or maybe Alana saying every donor gets a make your own bracelet kit i actually i mean you know what that would be package you know what that would be like every single thing that i've been ordering for the house because i you know there's so much stuff that i need still because i moved down here without a whole lot of possessions it's all disassembled when it shows up and as i'm assembling yet another weird little kind of like you know piece of outdoor furniture or something i think I am becoming a professional installer of assembler, basically like assembler of things, even though I've paid money for these things, but they all show up in the most complex or compact version. What if people just got the beads and it was like a do-it-yourself friendship bracelet kit?

Imagine Walt opening that bag. What is he going to say? Chinese bullshit. He's like, oh my god. Chinese bullshit. My friendship bracelet is here and he opens it up. And there's a bunch of loose beads with a little piece of string in there.

Oh, man. He would, honestly, he would shoot through the roof with his Chinese. So I think, look, I think this should be the plan. I think tonight let's get some coaching, some mentorship from the tens. So that's a good reason for everybody to zoom in.

Zoom in tonight. And then maybe what we can all do is the three of us. And again, Andrew, I want to be really clear about this. I don't want to overdo it on saying this to you, but I also want to just say, please do not do anything that will make the condition right now of your hands and wrists and stuff worse. That is such a bad use of the limited, you know, functionality that you're dealing with right now. I really and truly.

Well, I don't know what's involved with these things. Like, I tell you what, if this was a push-up contest, I would definitely be out on that I probably would be anyway I don't know how this is going to affect what's going on with my hands But I'm willing to at least try

Well because what I was thinking is after we get coached up tonight Then the three of us will take Some beads Beads And we'll take our spinners And we'll just kind of Tonight maybe Maybe some of us over a cold brew We will Try to make some of these bracelets And tomorrow tomorrow on the show we can kind of you know we can basically do a little bit of a tally of like how many bracelets total we've made between the three of us to do it like an assessment of how we're doing in terms of the progress like does it seem like we're anywhere near the pace we need to

be and what i would like to do and maybe if we can get this set up maybe we can unveil it on tomorrow's show or during tomorrow's show but i i told you in the weeks leading up to this that i had a dream of creating a bead cam or a bracelet cam. Beads? Beads. A bracelet cam. So you have a jar that we can start stacking these bracelets up in once we're, not stacking, but that we can start placing the bracelets in once we're done assembling them. And I am, we are efforting. Yes. I love using that as a verb. It just makes me sound so cool. Don't tell the Jeep boys I said that we are efforting to see if we can get a 24 7 bead cam or bracelet cam going so that at any time of the day or night people can tune in uh to tbtel.net and see how we're doing with uh filling

up this jar full of bracelets yeah that's right a 24-hour feed remember subservient chicken yes it's that yes of uh friendship bracelets what was the fast food chain again burger king it was right yeah um so uh so yes that i guess that's going to be the plan is tonight we will try to learn the ways of the friendship bracelet and then uh we will go forth and try to start making them i was i had this number in my head that like if john and i can each make 50 a day if my boy says he can make 50 bracelets he can make 50 bracelets 50 a day each of us is 100 i don't know that only brings us to well we're already we're already losing monday it would only be 500 at the end of the week which if we're only making 500 bracelets this has been a very bad tb yeah we need to like what triple more than easily i think last year i don't know if we made this is a bad idea john to get into specifics but i think maybe last year the number of people who interacted with the thong was in the neighborhood of 1500 yeah we need three to four hundred a day including today to do this okay uh well just glue them together um did probably not was there two kids out there Playing with the dog I don't know Can the dog do it Yes One kid one dog But the dog had fingers Actually you know what This is interesting A dog versus Andrew Alright Facing off I deserve that Alright so that is Going to be the plan Okay For the bracelets We will get there By hook Or by crook Or by dog We will make these things Because we promised it to you And if there's one thing About the TBTL-a-thon Since I stopped being In charge of fulfillment It's that A TBTL always Pays its debts not counting the first five years of thons when i was in charge of the t-shirt fulfillment since john got here it's actually been very above board well it's only one year so far so like maybe

let's let's hold out hope until it happens i've been thinking about it and i think it might have been a portuguese water dog is that a thing uh yeah bow beautiful uh bow uh obama obama obama right right right it was a portuguese water dog about that dog it was like a it was about that Size I should say it was a black dog. It looks like I'll get eyes on it. Yeah, I don't know

You know labradoodle yes, it could have been a labradoodle funny because I don't think I've ever what I know about those neighbors They're the ones with the huge lawn, right? Yes, I think it's very interesting because they do not They're the only people around here who do not use a riding lawnmower Oh, and I think it is to keep active. I would say that they're folks that are probably in the neighborhood of my parents age

Oh, so that might be a grandchild I see over there

I believe so, and the guy and oftentimes his wife are out there. They take shifts. They push mow, as you would say, Andrew, that whole huge yard. And, again, I think that that is a very intentional decision to just have a built-in reason to be out there walking and working every day. And I am impressed by it. I use the riding mower around here because—

You use a drone.

I do.

Oh, hey, can we tomorrow talk about the great drone disaster of Angle Lake located in SeaTac, Washington? We do have to talk about that. This story has everything. Drones, water, the rest, other things, crab rangoon, things of that nature, audio of someone watching the drones. I've got a hot take about the great drone disaster of Angle Lake, which I'd like to share with you on tomorrow's program. I'm excited for that. All right. I think we should probably go ahead and wrap things up for today's edition of the show. It sounds like you want to say one other thing.

I was just going to say, I feel like I was not a good steward of the phone calls today. I wanted to spend a half hour roasting John about Jeep etiquette. So I apologize for that. It was great talking to Max, but I see a lot of people were trying to call in. So tomorrow we will definitely get more calls in. Sorry about that. I'm sorry.

I had a lot of energy today. Too much energy. Yeah, I think we're all pretty excited.

There were some questions in the chat I don't know if we addressed this about the theme music For the Thon I feel like we've got to give some love there

Thank you for that Leanie, our friend Prom Queen, aka Leanie Has made, can I just do this Can I just give a couple of examples Of, so first of all We've got the theme song Which I'm just going to play again because it's just so good It's so nice, they played it twice

Thank you for being a town Traveled down the road and back again Your heart is true You're a pal and a confidant

Should we use this as the theme music all week? Yeah, maybe. I just feel like it's so strong. Also, I don't think it'll get us pulled down because it's Leaney's rendition.

The biggest gift would be from me And the card attached would say Thank you for being a 10

Andrew, what's the best place If you were trying to find Our friend Celine, a.k.a. Lini A.k.a. Prom Queen, would you go on the Instagram, would you go to Lini's website How do we send some love Everyone go buy whatever Lini is selling because she's the absolute best

I will talk to Celine Tonight and ask her what The best place for everybody to find a roundup of her Projects is, but I do want to shout out What I believe to be is her latest project Which is a musical project called stargazer that's s-t-a-r-g-a-z-r and it's a bit of a super group from musicians in this area that i believe uh leanie has sort of coordinated herself and they just dropped a brand new record i want to say like last week or two weeks ago and it is really really cool i want to sort of riff here and i know that there are some members of taco cat in there i can't remember the other projects off the top of my head we know but it's uh is that special at taco time Yeah you probably ordered it You weirdo But anyway definitely check out Stargazermusic on Instagram Promqueen on Instagram And I'll figure out the other places that Leanie wants you to go but yeah and I just want to think We asked Celine a long time ago If she could do something for us and she did And it's just like it's even better than I could Possibly imagine and Celine

Also gave us a version of the song That I can talk over that's just like This Thank you for being a 10 And then it's instrumental Listen how beautiful that is And one other thing we got From our friend Brian in Portland He also unsolicited submitted a little sound Kind of tag for us Which is this one Thank you for being a 10 Wow

Which is also very very cool Call it a sting in the business Oh right It's been so long since I've worked In the beekeeping business We call it a sting Beads

Beads um so uh yeah so thanks so much selene and also thanks brian for your help and thank you all for hanging out with us today thanks to everybody who has already jumped in to support us and thanks to everyone who is going to um do that maybe for the first time this year that would be incredible even if it's i don't know five bucks a month if you've never donated before any level you can get in on yes would be huge and very very much appreciated uh we're gonna be back here uh Tonight for I Just Crafted My Pants, starting at 6 p.m. West Coast. Our good friend Jen will be riding along with us of the Making app. If there's anybody who knows from crafts, it's our friend Jen. So please hang out with us tonight as well for the Zoom. And I guess in the meantime, I will say have a great Monday. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

Power out.