Muse

Whoa, is this the new copier? It sure is, Dennis. They installed it this morning. Can't believe corporate actually listened to our request. Yep, I guess Christmas came early this year. This thing rules. It collates, staples pages, no more stapling by hand.

Yeah, Santa should have wrapped it. What? The printer. Santa should have wrapped it when he gave it early. Oh. This is going to make our lives so much easier.

I know, this is so much nicer. from the old copier.

Yeah, I know, and Santa and all his elves must have worked so hard on it, and then they gave it to us early?

It's a very nice printer, Tracy. Just make sure no one copies their rear end, eh?

Oh, that naughty old elf must be one mean bastard to give us this so early. What? Did I stutter, Megan? Santa Claus.

Okay, it looks like the printer's gotten everyone a little too excited.

Of course it did. Everyone just go back to work.

I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row.

If there's a better use for the internet, I haven't found it.

It's embarrassing and it's gross, but at least it's kind of funny.

This one was created from a wooden vase from Fiji. Unsure what type of timber, but it's a ladies' bone for ladies.

what do you say we go out and get some carvel i got the time if you got the diapers

well all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a monday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live it is political correctness run amok my name is luke burbank i am your host oh hey y'all said my name coming to you from the madrona hill broadcast center perched high above the mighty columbia where it is raining like crazy on this monday and didn't know you like to get wet though i mean on july 29th that just seems rude but we're gonna get through it here on episode 4259 in a collector series let the fun begin we gotta get get a better desk bell it came up yesterday the topic of the desk bell and how it's been in short supply lately because my desk bell has been ailing uh it came up when we were chatting with some of the tens at the mother airy that's right the seattle eagles where we had gotten together to make hundreds if not thousands of bracelets friendship bracelets out of beads Beads

Beads

Many of you, and by that I mean maybe one to five of you Watched this all unfold on bead cam yesterday Which went live And for the rest of you, for those of you who didn't see it We'll give you the full update Today on the show Also, time permitting, there's a couple of Weird Things on TikTok that I'm currently Enjoying that I've started following A couple of different accounts that I thought I might play

I'm going to be a sit-down comedian on Tiki-Taki.

Play for all of you so that you don't have to spend as much time on TikTok as I do. You don't have to do the dopamine-seeking behavior that somebody like me needs to do, medically needs to do, by going on TikTok. So that's the plan for today. Also, of course, it's always in our plans to talk to this guy, longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Here is something pretty wild. Up until, I'd say, about two and a half weeks ago, he was operating under the impression that he had literally fallen out of a coconut tree. Thankfully he's been set straight on that He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now Good morning my friend I live in my own context Luke That's right and all that came before you

I apologize by the way You know we do a sound check at the beginning of the show And every now and then if there's a drop In my little intro montage I'd like to give you a heads up In case you might use it as well And I did not give you a heads up That we were using both Lady Bong from Fiji And I got the time if you got the diapers I know those are like two of your favorite drops. Those are less drops for me and lifestyle choices. That along with duplication investigation. Untrue. Untrue.

I don't want this to sound like.

I wore you down. I wore you down on duplication investigation. It took 15 years. Now you embrace it. That's right.

That's right. But also, I mean, Lady Bong from Fiji, and I got the time to get the diapers. You didn't have to wear me down on those at all. Those I was an immediate yes. I was a hard yes on those. And, yes, I've come around on duplication, investigation duplication.

Ironically, you were disrespecting the duplication investigation for a long time, but now you're not disrespecting the duplication investigation, and we applaud that.

Part of the disrespect was that I had no idea, other than LL Cool J, I had no idea who the...

other person was i thought it was holly hunter and it turns out's joan cusack joan cusack exactly

my my favorite cusack and that and that's i like i like them both i like john and joan so that that

speaks volumes of how i wonder if they're one of those families where everyone has a j name i just i just noticed that he's a john she's a joan and very similar too yeah jason cusack is there a jobe cusack there probably is a jobe cus bees say bees or bees speaking of which how you feeling this morning we had a we had a get together for the ages uh at the eagles uh yesterday afternoons a bunch of people came out a bunch of pizza came out it turns out too much pizza yeah it turns out

we did not need 30 large pizzas i have never i have never had a harder time getting people to

accept free come intact complete costco pizzas that i did yesterday at about i don't know 8 20 at night i kept going no one's touched to them and then people kept going thanks but no thanks

i we were sending people home with whole pizzas and these were not like personal pan pizzas these were large pizzas from costco we definitely over ordered on that maybe i'll make today's show pick the photo of these pizzas in the back just shoved into the back of our volkswagen golf as genevieve picked them up from costco and brought them to the eagles i i have to say though i was it was

debriefing with Becca as I was driving back home and I said, turns out we didn't need 30, we know now that 30 large pizzas is more pizza than let's say about 100 or so people will want to eat but I said, but I would so much rather that we had a little bit extra than we ran out, that's, I mean you know, carbon footprint be damned I'd rather that, considering all of the free assistance that we were receiving from the tens who came out, at the very least, I didn't want to run out of pizza or soda pop for these kind and very very diligent people who came out and then worked really like my thought for this was we're going to have a fun hangout with the tens hopefully just through sheer number of people like we'll get to this number that we needed to get to was like in the neighborhood I don't know 1500 or so or 1600 of these friendship bracelets but also like a lot of people will probably just be there to hang out or people might make like two or three bracelets and then get bored it was uh i mean i was impressed at how seriously people were taking it and how long they were working on it and i mean it was people really came out to help us and and i just want to say thank you so much if you were there yesterday and i didn't get a chance to thank you in person that was a really really uh really touching experience i'm being

totally serious yeah i was texting with john who um caught a very early flight today and is just now landing back in minnesota um and i was telling you before we started recording that honestly like it was the platonic ideal of what we were going for as far as having a big craft day at the eagles you know like we had we had been talking about doing this and um i had an idea of what it would look like but then as as the the days and hours get closer you're like is this gonna work is this the right space for this should i have called a carpet cleaner to clean the eagles carpet before

you were everybody over telling me this before the show before today's recording that you were feeling a lot of anxiety about the just kind of maybe um lack of uh of cleanliness or or just like little so i will tell you this i don't think anybody but you noticed any of that no i mean i

i don't i will not speak ill of my eagles club having said that i mean i think that's literally in the you're not allowed to speak ill of fellow yeah i've listen it's why you joined taking the oath yeah it's why you joined so i'd stop giving you shit all the time exactly so i'm not allowed to speak ill of you anymore yeah it's really it's a real loophole you found there um but no uh you know and and i love my eagles club having said that you know it's a place that has a whole bunch of events or whatever and i'm just very anxious about yeah you know cleaning anyway and it's one of those things where when you i first walk in there and we're setting up tables i'm like kind of like and again this is it speaks more to my mindset than the eagles i think i see you know all the you know the stains on the floor here or the industrial fan in the corner here that looks like that is using a water bottle to prop it up in places and some stains on the wall where people throw containers into the recycle bin and it splashes on the wall and i'm just like oh i should have come in here and hosed it all down or whatever but then like honestly we started setting it up and you and john did such a nice job of setting up like tables and workstations for everybody that was that was john well you guys you guys were both put your heads together and like really kind of thought about like kathleen and alicia yeah no kidding who showed up to help

a couple of other folks who rolled in on the early side but then were invaluable in because john and i reached this i'm sorry i don't mean to cut you off but just quickly john and i reached this moment of it was like

An hour before the thing was supposed to start, and it was misleading because everything looked pretty good. The tablecloths were out. You had figured out the audio system, so we were able to play a little house music and make announcements. You'd set up bead cam. Beed cam. Bees cam. Beed cam. Beads. Bees? Something like that.

Beads. Beads.

So it was like, oh, great. Well, we're ready to go. And then I was like, John, hey, what else do you need help on? And he goes, oh, we're just doing the letters now. And it turns out the letters were the way most complicated part of this entire thing.

You're like setting up a table for like a specific word. Like this table is for slab jacking, so we need all those specific letters at that table.

Right, which doesn't seem like it's a slab jacking, which doesn't seem that hard. Okay, you get those letters and you put them there, but we still had, we had bags of letters, But for instance, almost every table needed an S Needed like a bowl of S's, right? So you've got to go, okay, here's all the S's And how do we divide these up somewhat evenly So that Junior Sluggers has some S's to work with So does Slabjacking And also Sluggers needs more S's Because there's an S at the beginning and at the end There started to become this sort of like Alphabetic, or alphabet-based math That needed to be done That just was kind of bending my brain And John's I think And then also we didn't really have Anything to put them in at first So you ran to the 7-11

We ran out of cups and containers

Yeah to put the letters in It was like And this was all unfolding at like 3.15 When we knew everyone was going to show up at 4 And boy did they, what a prompt group By 4.05 the place was full And people were also just getting right down to work I thought it was going to be like a cocktail hour Oh I didn't

kind of i was i thought it was going to be like work i was not putting up with any cocktail it

was like four to four thirty cocktail mixer and then we you and i take the stage and we kind of announce what the plan is and then we go from there but it's like i look up at like 407 people are just like going for it and also there are people asking a few questions just about some of the practical considerations and we're just off to the races and people were just going after it and and and you know like camaro kev yeah i thought was just just gonna show up to you know kind of get eyes on the thing and maybe have a cold one or two or something but like i look over at like 7 30 and he's just like dutifully like threading through this thing

like i well i told him he was like do i have to make b do i have to make bracelets to have any pizza and i said yes you have to it's like 18 bracelets for one slice of pizza here exactly so I made sure that he was I do want to finish my thought before though because I don't want to sound like I was denigrating the Eagles I gotta say like that's just part of my brain same with my own home like if people are if Genevieve throwing one of her famous summer parties or whatever and then all of a sudden I'm looking around and I see every little you know I just see every little flaw whether it's a cleanliness thing or like ah we should have painted that corner of the garage or whatever and then but then I you know I came in at one point from the outside maybe lugging pizzas upstairs or something I just like looked around I'm like this is exactly the perfect place it was it was just so perfect everybody had you know and you guys set up all those tables with the tablecloths and the little lamps which the eagles provided little desk lamps for everybody that were really cute yes president i believe uh was passing those presidente it was uh it was just like a really cute scene and i heard from a lot of um tens who were like this was great because we like socializing but we like doing something when we socialize and like man can I identify with that like I you know like I'm I went to a my neighbors had a little party on Saturday a little daytime they do it every

year I saw that there would seem like it was some kind of a lobster boil there's a crawfish

boil actually they buy these

I guess in the Columbia River

there's some company that has that collects these crawfish in the Columbia River

the mighty Columbia I don't even know this yeah

you could I bet you you could you could climb

crawfish from here you could boy

you could not get down to the river from where you are huh that would be like a hell of a hike could you scramble back no it'd be doable you walk down have you ever done it no i haven't yeah i'm not crazy i mean it'd be doable i mean it's theoretically possible i could also get in my

car and drive down there which would be probably more the way i would do it maybe but anyway um

yeah and like that and that was fun and you know i guess there is an activity that goes along with that which is everybody gathered around the table and like kind of slurp crawfish which i kind of abstain from but anyway point is like a situation like that i was like kind of you know it's all very nice people but i'm just sort of like holding like a sparkling water and trying to make conversation with people i don't know very well and i'm not a very like kind of socially gracious person or at least i don't feel that way on the inside that's not true you are you are socially

gracious but i think it just kills you the exterior is working but inside

it's just absolutely grinding your organs to a dust. But I'd heard from a lot of tents who were like this was great like it gave us something to talk about it gave us something to sort of do it wasn't like just sort of milling about and like trying to ease up into somebody else's conversational circle or it was just like there was this natural it really created a natural flow of hangoutedness which is something that is measurable now by science so anyway I really want to thank everybody for coming out because I mean people really really got down to work now here's the deal i'm going to leave the bead cam which was live yesterday we have about five and a half hours of bead cam that you can still watch on the website if you want to check it out and and see it it fill up over the course of the night which was quite impressive but we are still not sure we were not keeping a close count of what was going in there we were announcing when tables would come up and dump like 25 or 45 more bracelets into the big jar that you bought um but uh but we weren't actually keeping a close count and we do not know we think that we need to get up to about 1700 bracelets i think and we do not know slightly

overshooting it but that's good because we want to have some extras too i think that maybe yeah six at the low 1600 john was saying i believe and and anything north of that is just kind of gravy

well my place so i came home with all of the bracelets it felt like very precious cargo by the way i almost there was a chance i was like boy maybe i should like just leave our car at the eagles tonight and i can after the event have a couple of beers and not worry about driving back and i thought can i leave these beads in the car in what is the the the neighborhood that the eagles is in is has like the nicest names it may it's not maple valley but it's um oh is it may is it

technically maple leaf i think it's maple leaf yeah like a leaf start there yeah it's a little confusing for me where where maple leaf starts and lake city ends which if you can leave your

beads anywhere i feel like you can leave them in maple leaf right you would think so anyway but

more a case of somebody not intentionally trying to steal the beads but just being like there's something in this car let me get at it and then picking the thing up and then like going four blocks away and being like i don't want this and then like tossing it in a room maybe that or what

it would be amazing if they were all stolen and then suddenly like there are headlines about like these bracelets that say friendo and slab jacking all over the black market in seattle that'd be amazing but i did bring the precious cargo home we drove home i did not i did not imbibe yesterday and uh and then genevieve and i came home and my dogs were barking and so we sat up on the couch genevieve and i both sat up our our legs up on the ottoman and i said you know my plan was just to like dump all of these you know however many hundreds of bracelets we have into a box and ship them off to john to do the final count um but genevieve's like you know what let's just do this now i can't remember what we turned on we put on some stupid show on tv and we just sat there and also we we each got a little pair of scissors because some people left tails on the on the bracelets so views and i just spent a couple of hours last night decompressing trimming the tails off of the bracelets and packaging them up into ziploc bags 40 per bag luke so that we can get a count, and we can know exactly whether or not... No seeds, no stems. No seeds, no stems, exactly. Trimming these things

down. Nice. Just the finest nugs going east

to Minnesota. When I think of stems and seeds, I always think of this line from a David Sedaris. It was probably one of his stories from the book Naked, and he said he had to take a urine test to see if he could pass the THC test. He said he peed and it was all seeds and stems. Anyway, point is, I wanted to give you a bit of an update And maybe if Yves and I can do some more work this week, I believe we have, I think I'm right about this. I believe we have 27 bags, 40 bracelets per bag so far. And so we are officially up to 1,080 bracelets that are accounted for. We have a lot more that we haven't sorted yet. So, you know, as long as we have, you know, 600 more or so in that box, we should be good. And I don't know that we have 600, but I think we are probably good. There is a chance that you, me, and John have to make more bracelets, but I think we're going to be in good shape.

It was actually so much more ambitious, so much more Operation Crazy Plan than I realized. This idea yesterday of us, of the listeners, let's be honest, managing to make 2,000 or so French. Because that's how many beads we theoretically had.

It's time for Operation Crazy Plan.

somebody as they were working said i feel like i'm hearing the bridge on the river kwai music in my head while i'm doing this and i said is this feel like a baton death march but it was remarkably i don't think we realized how ambitious it was i don't think andrew the people who came out unless they were the folks that had their own like beating setup you know where they had felt or a thing i think there was a lot of folks who

Were exactly like you and John And I Who thought I don't know like whatever You run a thing through some beads And like you tie it up and then You're done and there were so many people I'd come around like How you doing they were like this is Like harder than I thought that was when I started To get a little nervous I'd say like Hour one It was like most of the feedback I was getting from people that were new to this was like Oh this is actually this is slow Going and then there was this sort of like it you know warp speed effect where people started to kind of get the hang of it and all of a sudden it was just like it went from being like i i think you and i both looked at each other this is going slower than we expected yeah and then it just started speeding up and then it was like oh my gosh we like overflowed this unfortunately phallic um vessel

that i had picked up at the michaels and long vessel wasn't fat i mean it was just a long glass tube with well overflowing with a valuable I was going to continue to describe it in more and more phallic ways but I will not do that but anyway as we filled up the jar and then as beads came tumbling down and overlapping

something about all the beads around the base I don't know why that

cemented this thing and then the giant hungry tiger face behind it which is like on the wall just go to the Instagram page I'm sure there's pictures of it go to bead cam or go to tbtel.net you can still see the beat cam up there for a little bit but uh yeah anyway i uh i am very uh i'm very excited about this i think we're gonna be um oh i know what i wanted to tell you i was stalling there because there was something i wanted to say is i don't think you were aware like we did there was a moment there was a moment about a i'm gonna say about a half hour where i'm not proud of my behavior and i hope i wasn't freaking out as much as i felt like i was freaking out i definitely freaked out on john at one point because like we had a real slab jacking issue luke which is i know something that you're familiar with but um it's just that you were the person a couple of weeks ago which i cannot believe it was just a couple of weeks ago i cannot believe the the political cycle we've lived through and everything that has happened since you and i and john were in kelso

well i did with the bracelets has really moved down the list of major news events in the last

two weeks it just feels like a lifetime ago but i was gonna be able to really get you know get

some flowers over this and notes and a lot of other stuff to think about but uh anyway you know

you were the one who was making the most bracelets down there and you were making bracelets i believe that said slab jacking right you kind of well if you think about it slab jacking is slab jacking one of the words that has two a's in it and so then yesterday we set up all and also one of our words was spread she and that has an a in it and i can't remember if there's another um word on one of these bracelets that have A's but we kind of had we started to run into this issue where we had a couple of tables making slab jacking but then everybody kept saying we're running out of A's I'm like I'll go to another table and find some A's for you and then I'm going around all these tables and I'm like hey I need some of your A's and they're just like do not take our A's we're running out of A's I'm like well we got to get you off of slab jacking so then we start trying to push people towards spreadsheet but people are like there are A's in spreadsheets stay away from the right stay away from the A's and so then I'm like well I'm and then I'm trying to like figure out do we cheer you know do we change you to junior sluggers like how do we do this and i kind of had i really did have a bit of a minor meltdown as i'm trying to like kind of coordinate these tables and switch them to something else and then like get all the beads but like steal beads from other tables and anyway it all worked out it was real it was a real one

of those like you've got a canoe and you've got a chicken and a fox and a bag of grain yeah i couldn't figure out exactly what's like well if yeah exactly like if we take the if we assign this table to start doing this other word what what letters are we then cannibalizing from additional bracelets and what do we which brings me actually andrew to something i wanted to um clarify uh alicia who i've already mentioned uh who uh was extremely helpful and extremely productive at some point came up to me and said you know we basically ran out of the letters to make any of the recommended bracelets so i just kind of decided to do some like exploratory work And she went around and just kind of like found errant letters that could make other words and and made a few different ones, including one that said bubbles, which I brought home, which I'm going to give to Becca. And and she made one that said garbage, which was a garbage anxiety reference. It just turns out we had G's. We had some A's.

We didn't have X's or anything for anxiety. So there are just bracelets that say garbage.

A couple. And but the thing that I said, let's just throw these into the gen pop. Let's throw these into the hopper And then someone will just get one that says garbage But what if they think we're telling them they're garbage

Yeah, I was worried about that too

You're not garbage We just thought it would be funny If you get the garbage one and you don't like it, send it back And we'll send you a replacement There are also ones I know that I think Listen nick the king of ska said he took some creative license he might have done a spreadsheet with three e's just to get wild oh whoa that's why we're out of ease there were i think just one go easy on we're one we're one e short everything was gonna be perfect like people i think this is how much we had eventually psychologically broken down the people who came andrew to help us with this event there were these two bags of just like slightly different colored so you know there was the letters there were the beads that were letters and then there were the just beads that were just a color that were kind of decoration and we had these two bags i still don't really understand when john's done letting the dogs out which is why he had to fly home at oh dark 30 i was like

oh that's right because of like the work schedule in his family or whatever he had to get to

minnesota to let the dogs out because his lovely wife is working from the office today i believe but um uh right exactly he kept yesterday he kept going yeah i gotta get home to let the dogs out and i was just so stressed with other things i didn't have time to make that joke now we got to get them all in today it was on the tip of my brain but i john can explain what exactly was going on with this but there were these two bags of colored beads that were just a little bit different looking you know what i mean like they were just a different version of kind of something that people already had and when i walked around with those colored beads oh they were the translucent ones they were a little bit more translucent yes and when i brought those around and i was kind of refilling because you know we would have these paper bowls that you'd got at the 7-eleven that would have the colored beads in them and i was bringing around the slightly more translucent ones and when i would pour some of those into the bowl people would be

visibly psyched yeah people got really excited about those near the end they were just like

are you kidding me we get to do we get to do this with beads that are slightly different looking Do you know? Santa must have come early to bring us these beads.

I did not realize this until we got home and Genevieve and I started sorting the bracelets. People came with their own beads. There are special saucer-shaped beads in some of them. There are some big ones. There are these long spacer beads. There is a pretty eclectic bunch of bracelets.

Yes, there was one table. and i i don't i don't want to get the name wrong so i won't i won't guess at it but yes there was a table where they were integrating their own special baubles so those will be on some of them i just i also just to be honest with you when i was making uh spread uh when i was making slabjacking ones there's a couple ones where like the k might be backwards like uh a strikeout an mlb game i did not do that intentionally i just was i just was trying to get as many done as i

could so my point in all this is is that a strikeout looking is that why it's backwards k forward k is a regular strikeout and a backwards k is a strikeout looking am i right about that

you know what that's a great question i had heard i'm not even kidding i had heard that you do it on the third one so that you don't have kkk i'm not i used to think that but that but that i don't think that's right that doesn't really that doesn't really pass the sniff test as a reason Right, yeah. Well, what's the internet telling you? Here, let me look up. Here's what I'll say to the listeners while you're gorgling that. If you get a bracelet, first of all, if you get the bracelet that says garbage and you want to return it, we will happily replace it with a regular bracelet. But maybe you're excited about it because that means you got the golden ticket. Also, if you get a bracelet that has something funky with it, just think of that as like a little, you know, that's something special as opposed to, that's, as we say, a feature, not a bug.

Yeah, I guess if you strike out looking on that third strike, it's a backwards K. That's what it is. So there you go.

Okay, I did not know that until this very moment, and now I will. Interesting that they wanted to denote that. You know what I mean? Interesting that they wanted to make it clear. I mean, if you're just looking out at left field where someone is putting up the Ks. Also, was that ever the formal responsibility of the teams? Was there ever a scoreboard that would do that? Or has it always been? Because I've only known that.

It's record keepers. I think it's, you know, because everybody scores in their books. One of my favorite things during the Mariners broadcast, especially with the new rules, is when they have a quick side conversation about how they scored something in their official book. Like Gary Hill every now and then will be like, oh, that was a strikeout on a clock violation, Rick. How did you score that? And Rick's like, I just put a star around it. He's like, oh, I put a, I think Gary Hill Jr. said the other day, oh, I put a K laying on its back.

i love that guy dude i i've seriously like if uh you know peace and love to rico riz but when rico riz is ready to walk away i really hope that they make gary hill jr that take him off of producer duty and just put him on full time because like he is so droll so great like i really enjoy i mean of course i love goldsmith now too but like i just like really enjoy gary he said something yesterday

I was driving up to the beading party. I was listening to the Mariners play the White Sox. Bees?

What if people showed up yesterday and we just had bees? Bees? Beads. Beads? What if everybody showed up and the whole place was just buzzing with bees?

It's just like friggin' Nicolas Cage and Nickerman.

Anyway, sorry, you were pulling up, you said.

Oh, I don't know. Just, Gary, I forget now, so this story goes nowhere. But it was just like, no, that was going to happen regardless of your joke. Gary Hill Jr. just made some sort of a oh, this is such a small thing but I believe he said something like alright, well because the Mariners were playing the Chicago White Sox and we swept them and now we're going to Boston today to play the Boston Red Sox and he said well, we've done well against the team with white socks or something the team's socks are white basically being like okay, we're six games in a row against teams that have socks in the name, the ones that are white so far so good now let's see if we can apply that to the and i i don't know why that just charmed me but it was like oh yeah that is kind of weird that we're just running through the teams that are by the way the um this is an interesting um note that i believe i heard from rico riz and so you know i don't want to again i don't want to i don't want to push him out for the good of the country i'm just saying you know i don't see a clear path to victory the and i say this with peace and love to all of our listeners on the south side of chicago who love the chicago white sucks um because i do find them to be a very rootable team and they're having a really tough season um but uh they are getting pretty close to rivaling the worst record in the history of major league baseball which is held by the cleveland spiders yes did you hear the whole reason the cleveland spiders were so bad though i did not hear this yesterday but when

you tell me the story i'm wondering if i'll remember

from hearing it in the past what is it well the owner i mean this is in like the i think late 1800s it was kind of a pretty different scene i guess and the person who owned the cleveland spiders also owned whatever baseball team was in st louis yes and had taken all the good players

from i just absolutely moved all the good players to say pillaged the cleveland spiders to make the

st louis team good and so then the cleveland spiders are like what the hell the cleveland spiders were so bad they stopped playing home games because no one would go they just played road games which i also love as an idea like okay if your team just stinks on ice play the rest of your season at the other team i wish we could do that sometimes with live wire when we have poor turnout right can we play this can we play these shows on the road because we're we're not killing

it with the local audience should we go open for wait wait don't tell me i mean golly that would

Boy, actually, I should ask them that. Here's the problem. My friend, Shana Donald, who's one of the producers at Wait, Wait, and kind of one of the people who decides who's going to be on the show, guess what her and I have bonded over? Her father's love for the Chicago White Sox. Oh, yeah. Were you texting this weekend? Her dad and I. What's that?

Were you texting this weekend? No, you don't have his direct text. No, I'm leaving it alone. Yeah, yeah.

No, I don't want to. And also, I don't want to rub it in. And he and I literally, before the season started, had at least four conversations about the Mariners and White Sox. And I was like, I want you to know that I am going to be Mariners first and White Sox second. They're going to be my number two team. I'm rooting for them. And, like, what a brutal season. And the Mariners are 6-1 against the White Sox. And it's just like it's a dagger. If you don't hear me on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me for the next five years, just know it's because of the Chicago White Sox.

Poor White Sox, though. It's not just us. It's every team. they're just in they're in yeah it's a tough tough season so yeah okay so anyway beads thank

you great night great night yes thank you to everybody who came out and really um i i think what we learned with this andrew is we need to do something along these lines probably every year because it seems to be well first of all and i i think i said this to many people inside conversations i think of all of our events it was probably the the and we weren't selling tickets It was just a sign up, but it was of the things we've done where there's any sort of ceiling to it, any kind of cap. It's probably the thing that is, quote unquote, sold out the fastest.

Yeah, you're right. Well, that well, the boat show. I mean, there were I remember we posted the years ago now when we did TBTL live at sea. I remember posting, posting the link, getting in the car with Genevieve and driving to the thing festival. And like by the time we got out of our neighborhood, it was sold out. That was a fast one.

So crafting on a boat is going to be the new model for us. the next one yeah that's by the way at philly we're officially moving the event to a boat and it's going to be knitting related that's right so get your tickets tvtl.net no but like it just it was it seemed like it just lent itself so much to the interest of the folks in our audience and like you already said andrew just the kind of like it was the right amount of socializing for people but there was a sort of purpose to being there and so So, let's go. What I think I learned was we've got to figure out ways to do stuff like this going forward, and maybe not just to the benefit of TBTL thank you gifts. Like, as I was saying yesterday, we need to decouple the idea of making the people create their own thank you gift for their donations and apply all of this hard work towards maybe some worthy cause or something.

That's interesting. I was thinking sort of the opposite, I guess, but we have a year to sort of figure that out. I was thinking maybe we have it at my place next year and it's like a hedge trimming party, you know, or like, hey, we need to.

A fence whitewashing. A fence whitewashing. Some real Tom Sawyer vibes.

Who wants to organize some cables?

These folks would. I know. These folks absolutely would. And they'd do a great job of it. So, again, thank you so much to everyone who came out. And, you know, oh, hey, one other quick announcement. Are we still within the window of, since we're talking about thank you gifts, soliciting folks' sizes for their TBTL Junior Sluggers softball, jersey, raglan shirt, whatever the heck we're calling it?

I don't know where we are on the numbers right now, but I know that there are still some tens out there who have donated to TBTL to support the show. Thank you so dang much. And you donated at a level that means you'll be getting a shirt as a thank you gift. But we are now ready to order those shirts, and we need to know your size. So please, if you can hear my voice, and even if you can't hear my voice, check your email. If it looks like you didn't receive an email from John, maybe check your spam folder and see if it's in there. Or reach out to John, john at tbtl.net. Because John has placed one big order on these things.

One order to rule them all.

Exactly. And we do not want to leave anybody behind, but we can't order a shirt for you unless we know the size. So please do check that out.

Hello, and welcome to Top Story. It's a pretty low bar for Top Story, Andrew, but can I just play you something off of TikTok that I find very charming? Now, I'm going to do something here. Can you, I guess I can't, I'm going to unplug. I think the easiest way to do this is to plug my little audio cable into my phone. Okay. So this might make a noise. Sorry, everyone. I mean, my ears are bleeding a little bit You're going to feel a small pinch This is a I don't know very much about this person Other than I think that they Just sit down and chat with their grandmother And then kind of film it And put it on TikTok But the account is called 10 Seconds with Gma And I'm going to see if I can find This particular This is somebody, I believe who is, I think maybe the grandmother is named Patsy and she's listed as 91 and liberal. And this is this person explaining to their grandmother the Rotten Tomatoes review of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. Okay, so I'm hoping that this actually works from an audio standpoint because I don't know if I've ever tried to play something off of my phone directly into the system. So, well, see right there? That's already not working. Why in the volume all the way up it is but it's like i've got oh it's not coming through the right how uninteresting is this for the uh dongle i've had this dongle oh you know what i just realized ding ding dongle uh dingle dangle dongle huh um i can just text this to myself and then i'll be fine i uh have had this dongle sitting here since the madrona hill studio became operational for a moment just like this this has been here because i've been like well maybe there's going

to be something that is but you never tested it you never decided well what would this be like if

we were to do it on the air you just well i mean because this is more interesting content you know i want the listeners to have their suspense to be on this voyage of discovery along with us no that's true you're a showman i'm on a also i'm honestly i'm one of uh our country's greatest showmanship you got it i also just realized i can just freaking text it to myself and now it's on the computer i needed on so that um that was the test and it i i and the system failed you so here we go this is uh this is uh her this person's i believe grandmother age 91 and liberal finding out about the rotten tomatoes review of paul blart yes ma'am you know the movie we watched

small cop too small who small cop mall cop mall cop mall cop yeah yeah yeah two yeah the second

movie we watched by the way that is like anyone who was having a conversation with me

at the eagles yesterday you mean because of your hearing or my hearing is so shot

in loud environments uh-huh you know what i mean like in in in when there's when sometimes i have a weirdly okay hearing i guess maybe if i'm in a very quiet environment or if i hear my mom saying something across the house i can kind of pick it up but in an environment like yesterday where there's a lot of conversation going on and noise is just bouncing there must have been seriously probably 15 times where somebody said something and it was a joke and they were laughing and i had to say huh like i had to like ask again for the punchline lean in you do the old man and

lean in i've been doing that old man lean in for about three or four years now not to like say that I was into it before everybody else. But my God, my physicality has aged 100 years in the past four years. It is amazing.

I am like, just know that if you were ever in a, I'm talking to the listeners now, and you, I guess. If we're in a loud situation, like at Philly, by the way, September 28th, TBTL Live in Philly at the Friends Center. Get your tickets at tbtl.net. Please come see us. at the before or after party or during party, you're talking to me and there's a lot of talking going on, just know that if you say something heartfelt or funny and I don't give you the response you're expecting, it is not because I disagreed with you. It's because I couldn't hear you. I cannot hear things very well

in that setting anymore. And because we're cool.

And we're young. And we're just cool. We're very, very cool. We're like, gee, I'm 91 and liberal is basically what you're saying.

You know the movie we watched, Mall Cop 2? small who mall cop mall cop mall cop mall cop yeah yeah yeah two yeah the second movie we watched now there's a third no there's a website that reviews movies oh do you know what mall cop 2 got out of 100 oh probably 99 or 100 i'm sure he got 100 or something yeah no

i want to just let the listeners know that uh gma is was about to take a sip out of her like a straw that's in it looks like one of those maybe stanley tumblers or something yeah and then stanley girly i i can't quite tell from the shot but like you know just for the sake of the visuals she's taking a sip out of a water bottle of some she's about to and she says it probably got a 99 and then when her again I'm assuming granddaughter says no she stops she does not take a

sip of her water like she's shocked by

this she is so shook by the news and the visual is pretty

great there's something yeah no I got six what got six six out of a hundred what oh come on it was much better than that it was hilarious who's doing it who's doing the audience oh the audience and then movie critics too and movie critics yeah oh what do they know

is that where it ends or did you stop that's where it ends and i love that what was so

interesting is that when she hears that it's people just regular people she's like well okay and then when she hears it's movie movie critics right what do they know it's like she doesn't

trust those elites that's really what it comes down to you know weather forecasters and movie critics are and i i suppose maybe lawyers in the media are the first to be criticized yes so that's

um 10 seconds with gmon let me see if i can find this other one that i've been uh i have to go into my account and find things that i'm following um okay okay here we go i'm gonna have to send myself a couple of these. I apologize for the delay, but I promise it will maybe be worth it. This is an account where a person just sings songs, you know, kind of famous songs in the U.S., but as if, or presents these songs if they were sung with an Australian accent. Okay. Okay? So, I mean,

that's pretty self-explanatory. Actually, though, I always have questions, and maybe it's because I don't pay attention. Is this a person from Australia with a real Australian accent, or this is somebody who is faking an Australian accent?

Actually, I couldn't tell you because you never see the person. You just see the music video from the original song, and then you just hear the person singing over it. So I don't know if this will really translate because you're not getting the visual, but the first song that I just happened to see is Rick Springfield, Jessie's Girl.

Okay.

Okay. Can you imagine that song in your mind? I can, yes, yes, yes. Do you want to sing a little bit of it? So this is just... No, that's okay. Are you sure? Me, me, me, me. Okay, go ahead.

Jesse is a friend. Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine. But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define. Jesse's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine. And she's watching him with those eyes. And she's loving him with that body I just know. And he's holding her in his arms Late, late at night You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl I wish that I had Jessie's girl

I love that

Where can I find a woman like that?

Now Any other I can give you some other options, okay? You could hear Fast Car by Tracy Chapman If it was sung with an Australian accent You could hear Jolene by Dolly Parton. You could hear let's see some of these songs I'm actually not familiar with. I'm leaning towards Fast Car right now, I think. Okay, Fast Car. Sure, this is very much back in the culture because of the duet version.

I remember when we were driving, driving in your car, speed so fast a bell lock I was drunk. City lights lie out before us and your arms fell nice, wrapped around me, shot around I had a feeling that I belonged I had a feeling I could be someone be someone

so there you go short but sweet

this is a fake accent I think right that's what I'm leaning towards

maybe you know the other person I mean do you think they're playing it they're doing it they're doing it too much they're doing too much as the young people say like in other words like if it were this is a real Aussie accent it would not be so pronounced

or just pronounced in a different way I could be totally wrong, maybe we can get to the bottom of this, but I'm guessing that this is somebody who's doing an accent.

You know, I'm having a meeting with some very high-powered Aussies today at 5.45 p.m. local time. You know why? Because that's like noon or something in Australia. High-powered Aussies? High-powered Aussies. I'm doing a, um, I'm helping MC or host this corporate get-together in Nashville in August that came together because of a 10, but it is, I believe, an Australian company. And it's the most interesting thing communicating with folks in Australia because I will send an email and I will hear nothing and I'll think, huh, interesting. Maybe they're out of office. And then I will wake up in the morning and someone sent me a response at 2.30 a.m. And I'm like, first thought is, were they drinking? And then it's like, no, that's because I'm on literally the other side of the planet Earth from them. Like coordinating this has been quite a thing because all the folks that I'm dealing with who are very professional, mind you, are just operating on a wildly different schedule than me. Like they know things that I don't even know yet because it's already, it's their two weeks in the future.

Yeah. Then why am I not getting emails back from the tech person in Philly? That's not a time difference, is it?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. So are we running into some trouble there? I'll figure it out.

I'm just a little annoyed. You want me to run my karaoke machine? I'm just a little annoyed.

What's happening?

I don't want to speak ill of our hosts, but this might be a generational thing, and it might have to do with the fact that I was feeling, as you know, last week and the days leading up to last week, I was feeling a lot of anxiety because I thought I was having hand surgery on Wednesday. So I felt like I had to do kind of a week's worth of stuff kind of in half of a week, or actually in two days before the morning of my surgery. And so I was like trying to mitigate some of those things and think like, well, I'm not going to be sending a lot of emails, so let me set up like a phone call with somebody over at the venue where we're doing our show in Philly. And I just think that like I don't know if this person is older or younger than me, but the person I'm supposed to be in touch with about texting. Let's be honest, probably younger. Probably younger, and I just think there is a disdain for talking on the phone amongst. And so I was like, well, let me set like I need to sort of I need to sort of talk out what I need for tech stuff. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know what they have. You know, it needs to be a little bit of a brainstorm. It doesn't have to be long. If we could just get on the phone for 15 minutes and just chat like, well, what is your setup like and whatever. So like I sent an email, you know, somebody connected us and said, you guys can work out the tech stuff. So I just sort of sent a note and said, hey, great. Like, I'd love to set up a phone call if that's cool with you or if you want to do Zoom or something else. we can keep it short um and the person was just like so reticent and just kind of like well i can be i can i can be reached before this time and then didn't give me any way to reach them and so i waited a few days and then then i wrote back uh because i was a little bit like okay so then i waited a few days and i wrote back i'm like great thanks We'll be right back. What's the best way to reach you? And that was about six days ago, and I haven't heard anything back either, which means I think this person is like, I'm guessing this person is rolling their eyes. Snapchat, Andrew. Andrew is Snapchat. And maybe wants me. And now maybe I should just do it via email. But now I'm just sort of irritated by the whole thing. Like, come on, man.

Yeah. Well, one thing I would say is, well, two things I would say, possibly three things I would say. Is don't talk about this publicly. This is a private matter. No, no, that actually wasn't even in the three. Maybe four things I would say, and in fourth place is, i don't know if we need to air this out here but people do love the drama so why not i love this idea of us really side-eyeing the entire quaker movement over this live show i will admit i expected more from a quaker i feel good about this as well listen yesterday when i was uh chatting with with some folks um uh who i guess i'll i will protect their uh anonymity they had been at a quaker it was a it was a mother and daughter and they had been at a quaker funeral or quaker memorial recently and they said it was amazing because somebody got up i mean the whole idea of the quaker meeting is it's very non-hierarchical you know it's very which is one of the cool things about it and anyone can share and stuff and somebody got up and said like this person who was deceased had um you know a lot of people like uh a lot of people really used this person in their life and and one of the last people to use him and and maybe most egregiously was janet it was just like naming names jacuz right in the middle of the seriously jan-cuse um a uh that didn't work sorry but thing number five don't try to make jacuz and janet into a thing luke um i'll beep it but uh but i thought oh well that's kind of fun maybe we can bring some of that catty energy to our live show in philadelphia on the 28th but i was going to say to you that I also think first of all I really appreciate that these are the details that you're sweating and this goes for so much of the stuff that we do whether it's the real show Monday through Friday or the Thon or if we're going to go somewhere and try to broadcast there's just a lot of technical stuff and hassle-y stuff that you in particular and also you and John really take the lead on and I am very appreciative that I'm not tasked with that But I also would say to be, again, unsolicited. I wonder if, in the words of the old Rick and Morty drop, I wonder sometimes if—

You know, the only problem here is a big, fat brain that misses eating all them big, fat problems.

Do you think that your brain goes from thing that you're anxious about to thing that you're anxious about? Because here's what I'm trying to say with this. I would love it if you could have a couple of weeks of just like— because you deserve this is what I'm trying to say, my friend. You and I were talking, again, in an offline conversation where you said you feel like this is kind of a lost summer.

That had a lot to do with the health stuff, I feel. Yeah, I don't know.

That's just really stuck with me because I just feel like we're ruining your summer. No, no, no. I want you to have a couple of weeks of just chill, Andy times, and just enjoy it because you have more than earned that, my friend, is what I'm trying to tell you.

Oh, I appreciate that. And, yeah, I'm not – listen, the tech stuff in Philly is going to work out. This is me being a little bit catty. I get very sensitive about communication stuff, and that's why I'll bet you I'm eventually going to meet this person, whether it's when we're in town or we will have a phone conversation or whatever, and they're going to be a great person, and I'm going to like them, and I'm going to be embarrassed I haven't brought this up publicly. i just get a little i don't know when when communication isn't great i start putting a lot of um assumptions on it my brain starts doing that and i start to get like a little insulted i start to feel a little like come on like now it's kind of like still in my you know now do i send another email like hello again how can i reach you like what's going on here just moving this back to the top of your inbox yeah i don't like per my last email um and like i don't want to do that and i don't but you know i'll bet you this person is fine they just start doing a whole bunch of stuff and like this isn't the top or they are like anyway and so i hope they never hear this but anyway like i'm sure that it's fine but it's really this is this is something i can trace in my life going back to just being a producer on various talk shows or whatever when people are just sort of like what i take to be very aloof with me and like i'm just it you know it makes me feel certain ways um i'll bet you this is a lovely person and we're gonna work well together we will see um as far as the what i was calling the lost summer and again i've talked so much about this that i don't want to belabor it even more but um it really was i i think that yes we had some we had a lot of busy stuff going on but i really do think it was that i i felt very uncomfortable in my own body for like you know going on three months now and and when i say lost summer i like i know it sounds bananas to point to but i think of the hedges that are overgrowing you know and i'm just like it's sort of a visual representation of me not being able to get out there and do the stuff that even though

i don't love doing the hedges it's a big part of my summer you know or like we were really gonna like kind of dig up the front garden this year and really make it nice but like i can't even you know like bending over hurts you know like i didn't want to so that was more kind of like and and i will say like i'm feeling a little bit better a lot of people at the um a lot of people at the event yesterday were asking about it and it always it's so nice that people care so much and i appreciate it i am always sheepish because i realize how much i've been talking about this and that's not exactly, I'm being a bit of a drama queen maybe. I don't think you're being a drama queen. But anyway, I am feeling better and hopefully will continue to feel better.

You are feeling better a little bit. I am feeling a little bit better. There's been some improvement.

My hands and wrists actually are improving the most. It's now kind of my ankles and stuff. But I think that that is also getting better. Actually, we've got to get back to whatever the hell we were talking about. But I will say this, Luke. I thought you might appreciate this. I'm constantly like, now that I'm on this medication and it's been, like, I think one week tomorrow or something. It's been, never mind. I've been, like, slowly sort of testing, like, can I make a fist now? Like, what are the small signs that I'm improving here? And some of them hit me later. Like, I put on some work gloves very briefly on, I believe it was Friday evening. And then later on I was like, oh, those work gloves didn't fit me, like, a week ago because my hands were so swollen. I was so close to quitting you. I know. I mentioned that to somebody else. Anyway, and then I got into my white Bronco, and I was like, this feels more comfortable now.

Oh, God, it feels good to laugh.

But anyway, and I was like, oh, so there are little signs. So on Saturday, you know, our boy John Sklaroff was in town. So me and he and Genevieve went to get some dinner, and then we made it an early night because of Sunday's event. And then Vives and I came home after some shopping or whatever, and it was like, I'm going to say it was like 8 o'clock, 9 o'clock at night. and I looked at the dartboard and it looked back at me and I'm like, well, let me just throw a couple more darts. About a week ago, I threw three darts and the third one hurt really bad in my shoulder and my wrist. And then on Saturday, I'm like, well, let me just see. And so I feel Luke, and I think a lot of people would make this comparison to me. I'm like a pitcher on a rehab assignment with a really, really short pitch count. Tight pitch count. A very tight pitch count. And I'm in Modesto. And so I pick up these darts and I throw. And I remember that number three was the one that sort of killed me earlier in the week. And so I throw the darts, and they're actually somewhat accurate, considering I haven't played in a while. And after three, I'm like, I think I can do this again. And so I even mocked up on my little marker board. I'm like, can I throw a one-sided cricket match? And I really do not want to set myself back, especially for something as silly as just playing darts. But it was just a way of sort of measuring where I was.

Yeah, I think it represents a lot to you.

Yeah, and it's weird. I know. It's weird how much I put into that. I think people get it.

I think people totally get it.

But I threw a whole, again, what do they call it when the pitchers go out on a rehab but they don't face batters? Jalapeno! When they do what? They don't face batters. They actually throw a simulated game. I think it is a simulated game or whatever. I threw a simulated game of cricket and actually threw a whole game of one size. no opponent of cricket uh by myself and i went outside i'm like genevieve you won't believe what i just did so little by little i think i'm making progress yeah that because i can totally and i

think the listeners can relate to that feeling of like something that just brings you joy and that is a way that you like to relax and is a big part of your of just your feeling like you know your your life is is rewarding and livable and then having to contemplate the idea of maybe never doing it again and then sort of realizing that that that you you will be able to engage in it again i think that totally makes sense i don't think it's just about darts obviously i think it's about your you know just your quality of life and the things that bring you joy you know so i'm really really happy to hear that i was going to ask you at some point like i think i was going to say like when you're back to playing some darts i think that's when we'll know that

you're definitely hopefully on the upswing well next weekend speaking of sort of like um like kind of carving out some andy time i uh you know big group of our friends are going for their um yearly trip up to our friend's cabin and bosworth washington which we do like kind of

every year because i'm hosting pick a thon oh where is that it's at my house it's where i pick my nose but i really get into it oh that's right it's that every year tv telethon then pick a thon

right yeah we have the pick it's on we have the pick a cam pick cam and stop doing that a thon

wash your hands a thon yes please it's a it's a triptych is this a pimple or a boil a thon i'm gonna be down um in uh in happy valley oregon helping host this thing called pick a thon which

cool it's like a it's a kind of cool music get together but um it the way that it ended up being the case that i was helping host it was kind of the the information flow was a little stilted and i had some other stuff i wanted to do including maybe going up to that lake with our friends which i was invited to for the record um and then it was confirmed to me oh no we can't wait to see like anyway all that is to say everyone's going up there but you're not going

up there well usually what i'll do is because i don't like to spend several nights i'm not a big fan of like kind of spending the night anywhere honestly um and that's not me and we've talked about it yesterday did you really

yeah because she was she and I were chatting about the the project down here at the house and I said I would love to have you and Andrew down here for like a social you know we were working during the thon week I was like I'd love to have you down here for a social thing she said oh I'd love to see it and I said maybe like you can take a guest bedroom and I said maybe Andrew can have the whole ADU to himself like you know the Madrona Hill studio because it does have a fold out bed it's got its own bathroom because I was trying to kind of account for Andy times. I know that you like to be able to just be more or less by yourself or at least not socializing at some point. I hope I can say this. He just goes, listen, whatever's going on with Andrew and only wanted to sleep at our house, at this point, that's between him and his God. So basically, it sounds like Genevieve is going to come visit my house without you.

Sounds like a fun, sexy time for you. I'm just saying. I was not privy to that. But yeah, so what I'll often do is so like folks will spend like, you know, a Friday, Saturday and Sunday there and then come back on Sunday evening or whatever. And I'll often go on Friday and spend the Friday there and then come back. I think I don't even know if I did that last year, but this year I really was going to go on Friday and then come back. But honestly, I sent a note to the group last night and I feel bad. I mean, I think it's OK to say this is our buddy Aaron, who will probably hear this conversation, too. And he's such a gracious host. And honestly, if I'm going to spend the night anywhere, the idea of doing it on a lake cabin like that is the ideal. I'm still like I still I love that tiny little bedrooms, you know, with like, you know, like all kinds of interesting listening to the Mariners and getting high with Neil out in the car with the windows rolled down, because that's the only place you could listen to the Mariners out there. Like my there's no cell reception. It really is like it is. I am not skipping it because it's not like generally speaking an enjoyable place.

It's a country time lemonade.

It really is. it is just it's tranquil it's beautiful all of those things but i did realize yesterday i was so exhausted yesterday and i loved our event yesterday it really was a good time i was never like oh this feels like work but at the end of the day on sunday i got home last night and my as i was saying my dogs were really barking and um and i asked them to be quiet also my feet hurt and uh anyway i was just sitting on the couch and i was like there's a thread going about it and i I was like, guys, I love you all. I truly do. But it's just been a lot this summer, and I'm going to just take this weekend to be at home by myself. I might watch our friend's cats who are going up there. Oh, nice. Yeah, so I'm going to take some Andy time next week, and I'll have the house to myself. Not that I can't do anything when Genevieve's not here that I can do when she is here or what have you. But, yeah, so I'm going to carve out some real – what's that? Some amount of slab jacking. There will be some slab jacking, depending on how I feel. And there might even be some hedge trimming, depending on how these meds, you know, how far the meds take me by the end of this week. So I am looking forward to it. And I think with the hedges, I keep coming back to that, too. It's like it's a sense of control. It's like it's taking it's like looking at the hedges right now. It's not that big of a deal. I mentioned it to my neighbors are like, it doesn't matter. Like, it's fine. They're big green hedges. but I'm just I think what it is is like it's a representation of my life feeling a little bit out of control and so when you can do things like that whether it's mowing the lawn folding the laundry for some folks or whatever it is like there are these little representations of like my life is out of control right now and that task is a representation of it and that's sort of how I'm feeling so I am looking forward very much to to the next few days okay so that's that's

interesting that you frame it that way because what I was going to say and we were probably getting to where we should be wrapping stuff up. But I was going to say my solution to that, I think if I were in your situation, like if there was something around my house like mowing my lawn or other things, if I had a hedge like that that I couldn't wasn't able physically to deal with, I would probably hire someone so that then I could at least stare at it and it would be done. But that is my approach to things. No, I tried. I tried. Oh, so that – you would – I was wondering if it wouldn't feel the same to, like, you know, gaze upon these nicely trimmed hedges that you had nothing to do with. Like, if the doing of it is part of what gives you the satisfaction of them doing it.

I mean, I would like to do it. You know, it's a – it'll – you know.

It probably would not be the cheapest job, but I came home the day after the Thon in the Jeep Willis. I can't even remember. What is it? Willis? Willis? I can't remember. My brother-in-law said we were a Jeep guy. Let's just get a goddamn Hyundai next year. Yeah. I can't say that either. Don't sclar off. Ford. Anyway, I came home. I parked the Jeep in front of our house because I didn't have to return until the next day. and I was feeling really rickety and maybe even being in the car for like you know whatever that is a hour and a half two hours or whatever maybe didn't help I don't know I like get out of the jeep I'm just like hobbling around like a cowboy that's ridden on his horse too long and he's like his legs have taken on the shape of the horse saddle and I'm like I get out and I see like that the neighbors you know the people who own the property next door we live next to renters who are wonderful people but the person who owns the place once a year hires this landscaping crew to take care of all of their hedges our hedges continue in front of their yard um and it's not quite as encompassing as ours our job is probably four times the size of that but they had a crew over there and i pulled up and our hedges were shaggy as hell they're all kinds of like the grass was too long but also dead uh we look like the bad house in the burbs and neck the movie the burbs and then next door to us is these pristine freshly trimmed and sculpted hedges like like edward scissorhands quality without all of the frivolity um and so i went i hobbled over there and i said hi i live next door can you give me a quote on my hedges because i don't know if i can do it this year and the guy ended up coming over and he took my phone number And he looked around, and then he texted me later and said, I'll get you a quote tomorrow. And the quote never came. And I texted him one more time and said, hey, just wanted to check in. I know you must be really busy this time of year. Never heard anything back. We checked in with a friend who works in a company like that. They don't have any availabilities until, I think, the end of September. So it's just like a really busy time to be trying to schedule somebody to come and take on that work, I guess. Well, we could maybe get Jerry up there. We could get Jerry up there. But again, I just would like to remind you how much fun the TBTL10s had helping out yesterday. I'm saying idle hands are the devil's playground.

Well, I am hoping for you, Andrew, that by this coming weekend, your physical improvement will have been continuing and that you will be able to maybe get out there safely. And I want to stress that you have a good do you have a proper ladder yet?

I thought you were going to say, do I have a proper health insurance policy or life insurance policy? Yes, I have a good A-frame ladder that is nice and solid.

A good ladder, not like one that fell off a truck.

Not one that fell off a truck in Renton that Genevieve insists is still good. No, no, I went and I bought a good one, yeah.

Good, good. I mean, I'm hoping for you, like, you know, may the wind always be at your back. May the mariners have overperformed in Boston. and may your body allow for you to get on top of those hedges next weekend because I can just imagine you, Saturday night, you made some progress on the hedges, you're sitting in your yard, you're cutting up leaves and putting them in a small fire, you're having an adult beverage or two. That sounds like a really fun Saturday night for you where you're taking back your summer in just a little bit. I'm wishing that for you.

And even if I can't do the hedges, I'm just going to do what feels right this weekend. and I'm looking forward to it, and maybe I won't. I'm really not going to push it too much because I'll be here by myself, and I don't want to, like, because once you get into something like that, then you're like, well, I can't just stop in the middle of the hedge, you know? Maybe some people can. I certainly can. So I want to make sure that I'm definitely feeling up for it before I even get into it, and there is a chance that I won't get into it at all, and instead I'll play the easiest level of Major League Baseball's The Show. And that's also okay. Just like crank home dingers all day long.

and that is also completely fine too i hope you be nice to my friend andrew yeah i'm looking

forward to it okay i'm glad i made that all about me uh but it was a fun show people are like listen

people want to know what's going on with your health i think people people were i'm not laughing i don't mean to laugh but i i was sort of chatting with folks yesterday at the bead thing and i was kind of saying like yeah you know andrew's been dealing with the stuff and then they would then they would get quiet and they would go yeah i know i know we're all worried about you and again And I'm not trying to be glib about that, but I do think it is compelling content.

What I appreciated was other people coming up and asking me about my hands, but also a lot of people having been on similar journeys. I don't know if you ever looked over. There were probably many times where there was like me talking to somebody and we're both like sort of comparing our hands and people were showing me like kind of, you know, where they had had issues with arthritis or whatever it was. Our friend Karen was there and she was in a.

in a wrist brace herself she's a gardener so she has like a lot of like kind of you know um she uses her hands so much that she was showing me some of the stuff that she's dealing with so it ended up being something to bond over well that's um any any connection point we can

make with uh with the free labor that we yes exactly people are like our hands are terrible but we're here to make bracelets for your ass i know exactly i'm wearing various guards and other things, but I'm going to play through the pain here, and I'm going to help make bracelets. Anyway, one last time, thanks to everybody yesterday. And thanks to our pal John Sklaroff, who flew all the way out for like 12 hours and really was instrumental in making all that happen. And thanks to our friends at the Eagles, too, including our good friend Katie Beck. As you said, El Presidente. Someone should really develop that nickname. Yes, exactly. you represents all right thanks for listening everyone we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you in the meantime have a great monday stay dry if you're anywhere near where i am and go mariners and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

power out