Muse

Yes, ma'am. You know the movie we watched, Small Cop 2? Small who? Small Cop. Small Cop? Small Cop. Small Cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2. Yeah, the second movie we watched. Now there's a third. No, there's not a third. There's a website that reviews movies. Oh. Do you know what Mall Cop 2 got? Out of 100.

Oh, probably 99 or 100. I'm sure he got a hundred or something, yeah.

No. What did he get? He got six. What? Got six? Six out of a hundred.

What? Oh, come on. It was much better than that. It was hilarious. Who's doing it? Who's voting?

The audience.

Oh.

The audience and then movie critics, too. And movie critics? Yeah. Oh, what do they know?

TBTL! Tracy, you are going to die. What? No! When I tell you who I'm dating, Squeaky Fromm, she is difficult.

Hey, you either get it or you don't. And I don't, but I am so excited to be a part of it.

And it's romantic and it's full of these sort of situations, which turns out to be that's very interesting, very scary at times, but also a lot of romance and really well made, so I recommend it. Good soundtrack. Good soundtrack.

This is the craziest f***ing interview I've ever done in my life. That's why they call me multidimensional.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Sleepiness is the most common side effect. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. And I'm going to get all anecdotal on you. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it's another gray morning, which will turn into a warm afternoon. That's all right, though. We have an almost endless supply of A&W Diet Root Beer to get us through it.

Gotta have that root beer!

and we've arrived at episode 4265 in a collector series uh much to talk about let the fun begin on the show today including my personal dilemma about how i'm going to clothe myself when i go on this trip later this summer to uh italy it's gonna be very hot it's gonna be very uncomfortable for

everyone i don't know what to wear on my feet i feel cute today look at my outfit uh when i wasn't

shopping for sandals online last night i was watching a lot of television i love television i've got to have that thing on 24 7 i love the patter i was watching uh the highs and lows of the things that you can see on television i'm going to talk about both of those with you today the listeners and really this guy my friend the longest running co-bro of the show two bros Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now Good morning, my friend

I want to break new ground on the show today, Luke But if you don't want to break it with me I completely understand because this puts you on the spot TVTL Breaking Ground TVTL Breaking Ground I'm going to explain to people In minute detail How I record this show And then why that puts you on the spot We use a system called Riverside. It records you on your end, and it records me on my end. If I were not a lazy bastard, I would use that recording every day because it's clean. It's pristine. It uploads directly to the cloud without any kind of digital.

It's recording me here where I am on the Madrona Hill studio, and it's recording you where you are.

But it's not. I mean, it's actually it's recording and sending it directly to the cloud in real time. Like right now, you're 99% uploaded, Luke.

Amazing.

Amazing.

Sounds like a great system. Why don't you use it?

Well, because then after the show, I've got to go in, I've got to find your file, I've got to find my file, then I've got to put them together, and then I've got to make all the edits. It's much easier if I just hit record on my...

secondary computer here and just sort of record directly in now you could consider this sort of a backup really if i didn't want to use riverside that's how i used to consider it but then the backup became so much easier to use and it's fine it's good i'm not getting any complaints

if i put even one second of effort into the post-production on this show i would be allowed to have an opinion about this but i don't and so i do not well have you ever heard a show in the

past year or so where you're like wow the fidelity isn't that great on tbtl today i really i really don't think yeah i haven't heard a show in the last year yeah that's true too i can't speak to the fidelity of any of it i like to think i do my part to make it unlistenable um but today and again you do not have to do this if you don't want to i thought it might be a fun bit but um today a kind of a rare thing happened as you were talking as you were introducing the show So right as you said, that just might be too beautiful to live. There is a tiny bit of like kind of a squeaky, squeaky from a squeaky distortion, right? Difficult. It was a squeaky distortion right on the word be might be too beautiful to live. And I thought, oh, I can maybe try to, you know, slice that out later. But it was right on that word. It's an important word. It's in the title of the show.

Do you want me to try to give you another take on that, which you could then, what, cut, paste, and replace the first one with? But then the folks will also hear me doing the pickup?

Yes, exactly. But also, we have the music underneath us right now, so it probably won't even be that clean of an edit. It'll sound like that Die Hard 2 edit where they try to clean up the verbiage a little bit for television. And it sounded so fake. Dennis Franz, I think. So fake. Yeah, exactly. So here, how are we on the music? I'm going to back up the music a little bit here just to make sure we're maybe around. Let's hear it. Maybe we're. Oh, no. Do you need the drop too far? Here we go.

I'm kind of proud of this drop. I actually pulled a prescription drug ad last night. That spoke to me as I was endlessly watching MSNBC, as I am want to do, as I am waltz to do.

It did make me laugh when you played it during soundcheck. I had not heard that before. So literally the only word I need is be. And I don't know how well you remember it, but you hit it kind of hard. It just might be too beautiful to live. You really hit it there. So let's do that.

I give it kind of an up all night.

You want to be God-freed? Okay, so you've seen the Aflac duck, right? Are you familiar with the original Aflac duck? That's the energy they're trying to match. Okay, here we go.

All right, okay. The thing is, Andrew, it's kind of a flow state. It's hard to just say B in the mode that I was in without saying all the little kind of lead up to it, but I'm going to try.

Do you want me to do that thing that we sometimes do when we're like kind of pre-recording something? Do you want me, or have to re-record something? Do you want me to like swell the music and then bring it back down and like you can kind of pretend it's the beginning of the show?

Well, I want it to be as close to what was happening at the time. Don't you think that would make it the easiest? So let's say, so I say, well, hello, good morning, and welcome. Well, hello, good morning, and welcome. What do I even say, Andrew? How do I even, what do I do with my hands? I need another mug. I need another mug. It really is this thing that I do five days a week, completely out of, at this point, just like muscle memory that if you asked me to describe what it is I even say, I couldn't tell you. But it's just, you know, it's sort of hardwired at this point.

The prophecy has really turned out to be true, though, because I told you this was going to be a fun bit, but also it's going to put a lot of pressure on you. And I got to say, I'm having a lot of fun, and you're feeling a lot of pressure. And I'm feeling a lot of pressure. I think it might be easier. You don't want me to swell the music and bring it down? You got it here.

I want you to do whatever will make this. I mean, the amazing thing about this, Andrew, is that this is one of those situations where the listeners know more about this than we do. It's one of those rare times where they are ahead of us on the story because they've now heard the beginning of the show. They couldn't have known just how much content was related to the thing that went right by which was me saying just might be too beautiful to live

and i want what i like is we might even get some extra downloads or something because people are now going to rewind to hear how this sounds and it right at this point we don't know how it sounds

yet we don't like you and i as we sit here talking to each other actually we know less than the listeners do because they've heard the edited version i kind of love that weird dynamic it

my edit might literally sound worse than just turning down some of that squeak like i could have probably just mitigated that squeak a little bit but i wanted to try this was it a squeak in

my voice or the microphone or digital distortion it was a squeak in your voice that made you sound

like a pubescent teenager no no it was just a little bit for some reason still got it you still

got it it's funny how many things i you know sort of was really ready to be done with um as a as a teenager i would now absolutely love i'd love to have you know be have my whole life in front of me i'd love to be you know dealing with like surging testosterone levels as opposed to uh always being on the verge of crying because like i heard of this american life story this morning about this young woman in ellensburg washington who really wanted to go hang out at the skate park and because she just thought these skaters that wore jorts were cool and i listened to it and i thought it was such a well-done piece and this this young woman was so likable that when it was sort of coming to an end i was so emotional and there's nothing going on that should make a person cry so what i'm saying is i would love to go back to when my voice was squeaking because at least then my my t levels were surging

as opposed to leaking out of my ear while i sleep uh i don't mean to correct you but i don't think heard of this american life story i think you saw that um google translate ad where the little the the teenage kid goes around with his phone joining like people's various street activities like skateboarding and break dancing and pick up basketball games but they all speak different languages and he interjects himself by using his phone to translate can i play you know i get in

please you know that's my plan for italy i literally just downloaded that app to my phone Because I'm planning on making my way through Italy with English to Italian and then Italian back to English.

I have an app that is going to translate me to Italian, then Italian to Croatian, then Croatian to Polish, then Polish back to English. And that's how I'm going to handle my trip.

Then Polish back to a person who's home in their basement.

That's right. Playing Madden 23 on the easiest level.

While everyone else is in Croatia.

Man, just so you know, I think I beat, who did I beat? I think I beat the Twins 30-1 or something the other day on my digital baseball game.

It's been a mixed bag for Minnesota this week, I guess. It's really what works. Yeah. Oh, I want to talk about that, too. After we fix the top of the show, can I give you my sliding doors to Jingle All The Way theory about something? Oh, yeah.

Related to Tim Walz? Yes, I'm interested in this. I'm going to back up this music again. I don't know if listeners have heard me backing it up, sometimes too much. Okay, now, are we going to do the thing where we just swell the music and you come down and you pretend it's the beginning of the show. Does that give you more options? I just want you to be comfortable.

Okay. This is so nice sounding. This is kind of how I get in the zone.

Why don't we have more listeners?

well hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live sleepiness is the most common side effect man you nailed that b that was great i actually forgot that i was supposed to really go ham yeah on the b no

did you not oh i was giving you physical direction i was pointing oh no i'm i'm looking at my board You're in your zone, yeah. I'm in my zone, dude. That's exactly what we need. It is funny, though, how— I'm going to forget to make that edit, I'll bet. I'll bet you—I put a marker there, but I'll bet you a million bucks I forget to make that edit.

I mean, I can't actually decide what is funnier to do the edit or to not do the edit. I mean, I think that—I'll leave it to you. I'll leave it in my friend Andrew's hands, because I actually think either one of those is pretty hilarious. Um, big, uh, big news day today. Uh, the vice president, I've heard a lot of people struggling. Well, one person on morning edition, the local broadcast, actually it was one person on ATC, I believe yesterday, maybe it's a few people on OPB who are struggling with the copy about the vice president picking their vice presidential candidate, because it is a little confusing and it doesn't usually happen that way. I mean, I guess it would if the, if the V, if a if a president had served out their term if they'd done eight years and then their vice president got the nomination then i guess it is this isn't the only way this could happen but it is a little funky and i've heard people struggling to try to describe the vice president picking their vice president yeah you know running mate yeah yeah running mate is just the easier way to say it but of course we all now know it's uh tim walls i didn't know it was walls honestly i i've only

been reading it and of course i mean he's been in the in the discourse for a while but i always say waltz i need to get in the habit of saying walls oh i might be wrong about that oh okay i assume yeah no no well you've been you've been watching more of the the coverage on msnbc i have but i've

internalized none of the part about how to say his name so i i could be totally wrong about that but what i'm totally right about andrew is something that i realized i've been i've had a building sense of it as we've seen more and more um interviews and footage with

with uh with waltz um i'll just think about like if my dad opened an auto repair auto repair place

it would be called waltz oh well i don't know that i'm right i don't want to get you i don't want to get you on the wrong track on this i just sort of was assuming there's no t in there and when you say waltz the dance there's a t in there right yeah but i feel yes there is definitely

but i i feel like the way you said it kind of sounds more like how it's pronounced i mean i'll i'll learn it sometime between now and the next eight years but uh you know there's the whole political side of it which we learned yesterday from was it rory from somebody in arkansas who was asking us to oh yeah all the politics sure yeah um so i'm not trying to go into the politics of this but what i think is pretty interesting is that um i have a kind of a sliding doors jingle all the way parallel lives thing which is if the comedian and sometimes actor tom arnold does not go to la does not start dating roseanne bar does not become addicted to cocaine he stays home in the midwest he becomes a teacher he grows up to be tim walls they are the same person their speech patterns are so unbelievably similar like the tim waltz does this thing where he it's a it's a very midwest thing and it's a very this i mean technically i think tom arnold is from nebraska but i feel like they're culturally from the same place like small town or maybe iowa i think i think uh tom arnold's from iowa and you know iowa and and minnesota abut each other and i believe tim waltz is from southern minnesota which is very much culturally i think the same as the part of iowa that tom arnold is from and they both do this thing and i just listened to um this morning i listened to an hour-long interview on the ezra klein show with the new vice presidential candidate for vice president kamala harris so i had i did some real did some real uh investigation into this and there's a thing that folks from this part of the world from agricultural communities guys of about the same age do where they they start talking real fast but they don't actually finish and then it's a you get you're on to the next thing and you're like he's driving that that truck which didn't you know it uh broke down and then you get the new uh it's like this you kind of and by the way i'm a fan of both of these people's work yeah i am a fan of both of their work i i stand both of them if we're saying that anymore but it is shocking to me how much the i hope future vice president of this country is just one jingle all the door away from being tom arnold if tom arnold just took a different path he'd be this guy they're the same dude to me the only reason i'm hesitating here

and this is like such a jerky thing for me to point out but like i don't great i don't think you're like the only person saying that today i'm looking at morning edition they literally led with

that segment in the second hour the jingle well they're on my list too do you want to hear why

nprs on my list it says tom arnold colin jingle all the door i've been spreading this by i woke

up this morning and furiously started texting televisions chris hayes i texted our friend p fletch this i i about the tom arnold theory i texted uh our friend the stew bot this the stew bot pointed out because he interprets a lot of this through the lens of his social media influence that uh if tim waltz uh you know if the harris waltz uh uh ticket wins that would likely mean that the lieutenant governor of minnesota would become the governor and that person follows the stew bot on on social media oh wow so that's a big come up for the stew bot that is that is huge

and it's also i don't know if you got into this but tim and tom very similar names you know one

letter difference i didn't even put that together but i mean a little cherry on top the i'm just i want to be out there early on this because it's going to become a big part of the discourse and again i say this as a person who kind of weirdly loves tom arnold like i have i mean i i couldn't say that i have huge thoughts one way or the other on his acting in movies like true lies i believe he was in with arnold schwarzenegger and jamie lee curtis uh or his stand-up comedy but just as a character in life i find him hilarious he's on the howard stern show a lot they also have they have an impersonator of him on the howard stern show who is so unbelievably good it's all they have

at the same time does tom arnold sure sometimes arnold that's interesting that that definitely

happens with the various impersonators that they have on that show they'll have the real person on and then they'll have the fake person on and then they'll have them kind of go dueling banjos we need to do um but uh but i i just wanted on the record that i'm the first person who noticed this in the public space but you're going to hear more about it in the coming days and weeks and i just want i want to get the cred for having been the first person who identified this odd little sort of quirky thing which is that they're practically the same dude well that's where i was going to

argue that but you are right it was the second hour of the West Coast feed of NPR. So they somehow, I'm guessing the stew bot already leaked it or something to NPR and they're trying to like kind of claim the scoop on this.

Okay, do you want to know why? Well, I don't want to say they're on my list, but I want to say that I did it.

Oh, NPR, that's right, okay.

I had a moment with NPR yesterday afternoon that I had to text Becca about, and I actually don't know if I'm on the right or wrong side of this, But it was it was one of their folks who actually really like this guy's work a lot. His name is Steven Thompson. And he does a lot of like pop culture stuff for them. In fact, I think he might be on one of their pop culture podcasts that are very popular over there. But right now, what they've got him assigned to during the Olympics is they're like sort of Olympics coverage TV critic. I don't know if like if Deggans is somewhere like drinking out of a coconut on a beach enjoying some well-deserved summertime off Or if they've he's working on different projects somehow this fell to this guy Stephen Thompson who again I really like his stuff, but he's being interviewed It's a two-way on all things considered and the question is posed like what could NBC be doing better and I'm kind of paraphrasing here But the the question from the host had somehow built into it Is it too American athlete focused? And the response from this guy, Stephen Thompson, was basically, yeah, the way they could make the coverage better was not center American athletes so much in their coverage. And I'm not exactly a Lee Greenwood proud to be an American type, but I do think the National Broadcasting Corporation of the United States of America is probably to be forgiven for highlighting, for centering United States athletes in their coverage. I, in fact, would think it would be weird if they didn't. I just thought that was the weirdest take on what NBC should do better in their coverage is not cover U.S. athletes. Now, you can say what you want about the Olympics and about the IOC and about if it matters or not or whatever. But like the idea that like a network based in the United States would be mostly focusing on athletes from the United States seemed like kind of a given to me.

Well, I have a sub stack by Uri Berliner that you're going to love. that was for you and p fletch um i uh don't i mean i know you don't care about the olympics no no no i i have a thought for this i don't want to put you on the spot i just wanted everybody i just wanted my berliner joke to like gonna sink in just sort of like you know feel feel the grass under your feet for a moment feel the burn okay uh i yes i i anything i say on this topic i'm you know i i want to make very very clear i I don't have strong opinions on it. And it's also, it ain't my game. Like, I just don't, for whatever reason, I just can't, I've tried before to care about the Olympics. I just can't.

It ain't been my game either. But for some reason this year, I have historically been, I kind of get caught up in the Olympics. I have not been caught up in it this year.

Oh, you're not. I see. Yeah, no, I always appreciate people who get caught up in it. And like, I think people, like some people who don't follow most sports kind of do enjoy this. So I kind of like that. And also there is just something nice about like kind of a national or international discourse, generally speaking, you know, even when it was sort of Taylor Swift related and like, I don't care about Taylor Swift at all. I'm not like a fan, but it was just kind of fun to see an entire nation obsessed with something, you know, like I just kind of get a kick out of that stuff. So I'm not trying to like spread any kind of haterade here, but, you know, it's not for me. I just kind of can't get into the Olympics. Having said that, I would say that if there's anything that sort of draws me towards it, it would be more of sort of a sense of nostalgia, you know, like a, I don't know, like, I can't even remember, like.

A Mary Lou Retton type of performance.

Is it people our ages always go back to 84? Was that the 84 Olympics? Like, why was it?

Yeah. Dude, Los Angeles, Carl Lewis. Why did the Olympics stop in 1984?

That's what I wanted to know.

I saw this stat that was crazy, by the way, which was Carl Lewis's time—Lewis!—in—and I couldn't tell you the event, but the time that Carl Lewis got into the 1984 Olympics to win the gold medal would have put him in last place in that event in Paris, which just tells you how many drugs there are.

Yeah, I was going to say.

It just tells you like, I mean, it's just and that's not that no shade to Carl Lewis. It's just it's it is an unbelievable what the human body is capable of and what the training techniques and all of the, you know, better shoes and the whole thing. It's just like wild to think that the absolute fastest a human could do this would be now the worst a human at this level could do this in the current era.

But to go back to the idea of like because I'm really trying to chew on this. I'm really trying. And I didn't hear the piece.

Yeah, and I don't really know if I'm on the right or wrong side of this. I'm being serious.

Yeah, and so let's explore it a little. But like I kind of understand it from sort of an intellectual perspective and somebody say, hey, this is this is an opportunity not just to hear about like the U.S. Olympians, but actually like it is the whole point of this is it sort of brings the world together in a competitive way. But it brings everybody together, not just nationally, but internationally. And so this is a great opportunity to learn about other other, you know, like athletes in other countries and cultures and kind of I don't know, could be a vehicle for that. That's a very NPR approach to it. And I believe that that guy probably came by his opinion. Go woke, go broke. But there's also something about sports that part of the draw is becoming irrationally attached to colors of a jersey. You know what I mean? And I know that's cliche to say.

As Seinfeld used to say, you're rooting for laundry.

Yeah. I didn't even realize that was a Seinfeld thing, but I still hear people kind of drop that on sports radio from time to time. It's just sort of a quick way of saying, like, you know, you hate this guy who's on the Astros. He's just like, you look at him and you just seethe. And then there's a midseason trade and you're just like, I would die for that guy because he's on my team now. You know, I mean, it's irrational. And but that's part of the fun. And so if you take too much of a sort of a high minded approach to this and not have any kind of like irrational, like, no, America, like we're that is that is one thing that does turn me off of these international competitions. One time I went with a friend to watch a World Cup thing. This is years ago now, and I didn't know anything about the World Cup or soccer or anything. But I'm like, yeah, sure, I'll have a couple of beers and we'll go. And then when the room all started chanting USA, USA, it gave me like legitimately a bad feeling. And these weren't like I wasn't at some sort of a questionable rally, by the way. These were people. These were like minded people who are just really into the sport. There's something about chanting for the Mariners that doesn't bother me so much as chanting USA, USA, because of maybe other contexts in which people chant that, that upsets me.

The Mariners only have a history of colonizing my hopes and dreams.

Yeah, right.

And then stripping it of all of its natural resources. At least it's just localized to me as opposed to what the United States of America has done historically.

Right, exactly. The Dodgers have Chavez Ravine, but aside from that, for the most part, I just want to throw that little thing in there.

There wasn't that much doing in Soto by the time the Mariners got there, thankfully.

Yes, exactly. I think they displaced a video store and some sort of sea agriculture. What do you call sea agriculture? What's the word I was looking for there? Fish. No, isn't there a portmanteau that is both aquaculture, I think it's called, right? Aquaculture. Aquaculture. But yeah, anyway, let's not take away the – if people are attracted to the Olympics because they're kind of getting into sports, it's like, oh, man, I'm just going to root for this pommel horse guy with the glasses no matter what because he's our guy.

well then that that's part of the fun yeah i kind of feel like it and again i i i think that i don't see any huge downside of people having a fun time watching the olympics and rooting for american athletes and i mean i guess what it if you wanted to get extremely unfun with it which i think is what npr was calling for yesterday and what i'm trying to do that's why i only read i only get my olympics coverage from the utney reader they give me a much a much more nuanced i put on my putamoyo cd and i listen and i read the utney reader i get it's it's months later but it's it's worth it that's what i get the real breakdown of how a although there is by the way you want to talk about international coverage you know where you need to go for that tick tock because there is this the only athlete that i can really name other than simone biles and i can't even name this guy but who i can picture anyway is this target shooter from turkey has this in any way burbled up into your sort of awareness i'm glad you bring this up because i need somebody to

explain the meme to me i'm seeing the okay you are seeing it memified i'm seeing a meme and i don't know if this is the specific one you're seeing but i've been seeing this picture all over the place with various captions and i don't understand it and it's it's a photo that is split in half it's two different people and they're both aiming a gun directly at like kind of the camera that i'm looking at and i feel like they're slightly different guns is that the meme that

you're seeing uh i don't know because i'm not looking at what you're do we have a chat function can we throw this up in the chat um guillermo can we put it on the pole yeah um the the guy that i'm talking about is the reason he's become legendary is because he has no special equipment when he does this target shooting and everyone else who does the target shooting they wear these hyper specialized glasses that like one eye is like a magnifying glass and one eye is like blacked out okay and they have all this high-tech gear because they're doing this very difficult target shooting and the outfit and everything and then there is a guy from turkey who looks like he was about to just walk out in his t-shirt but someone's like you gotta wear like

a olympics turkish shirt he's like okay so like he put it on over under the bleachers he went under the bleachers and put this other shirt on and then came out but he's i don't know if he's just a white t-shirt that says turkey i mean it's very like he's the least geared up person of all time and i i don't know if he won the gold but he definitely has finished he finished very high in this competition for somebody who looks like they literally just walked in closed one eye held the target shooting gun and went pew, pew, pew with it. And he's sort of the everyman because he just looks like he's not taking any of this overly seriously.

Well, I'm understanding at least one of the memes that I saw, and then I think I saw some variations on this. I'm going to see, I mean, this is, again, not... Variations on a meme? Oh, shit. That's really, has that not, is that a...

That's a show title.

I'm writing it down right now. Variations on a meme. Luke, good job. Sorry, I do not want to let that one go. But anyway, I am now understanding this meme that I've been seeing. So I went to know your meme, and it explains it to me. So, yeah, there's a bunch of photos of just him, and he also shoots with his hand in his pocket. I don't know if everybody does that, but it really gives him a super chill vibe thing. And that's why I was seeing split-screen memes with, like, another person aiming a gun. I'm going to try to share this with you, but somebody tweeted, It's even funnier when you see his inspector gadget nemesis. And so you see him and he's just like chilling with just like, you know, a pair of regular spectacles and a T-shirt. And then next to him is somebody with huge, you know, noise blocking headphones covering his ears. Some sort of Google Glass looking like digital visor on. And like, you know, and so that is the meme. I think the variations on that is you have chill boy here next to people who are all like teched out.

It's basically Dr. Tryhard versus Mr. Chill Guy. And I think it speaks to this idea of like we all want to be good at something, but we don't want to look like we're trying too hard. And this guy somehow is magically encapsulating that sort of idea.

Well, not back yet, because what he looks like is he looks like you when you used to do karaoke. I remember you'd always have one hand in your pocket. You remember that?

Maybe. You really don't know that? Very, very brown years for me. I couldn't tell you what my... I bet you I was doing that. You had a much better perspective on it than I did because you'd probably be sitting when you were forced to in the crowd observing. I didn't know that was my move, but I totally believe that that would have been my move.

I feel like it was you. I definitely see Camaro Kev do that too. I thought it was both of your guys' moves, but I could be wrong about that. Can you see my screen just out of a technological standpoint? I like this. I can. This is actually very cool. Yeah, exactly. I love this. So that's the meme that I've been seeing. I'll make it for the show.

Poor other guy, by the way. Can we take a moment? Can you spare a thought? Serbia, yeah. Can you spare a thought for the other guy who's like, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to win the Olympics. Yeah, right. Like, what did I do wrong? I'm using the standard equipment for this. It'd be like, you're playing soccer, and this was like, what a nerd with those shin guards on. You're like, we wear shin guards. What are you talking about?

Well, how is Turkey doing? Is Turkey still in it? Is this competition still going on?

My sense is that this guy was doing pretty well. I mean, I think that event is done, and I think he did pretty well. I don't know if he won, but I think he did better than you would expect for someone who looked like they just breezed in. So there's the international coverage. I mean, if NPR wants to try to lean in on the international coverage, there you go. We just did it for you.

You're welcome. What do you call that phenomenon where, like, the second somebody is in the spotlight, then it's like the second somebody is in the spotlight, then Reddit, like, goes deep and finds one problematic thing.

Oh, milkshake? Yes. Milkshake ducking? Milkshake ducking.

I'm just trying to look at. The guy from Turkey? Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't look too deep. Well, one of them says, Turkey's viral Olympian invites Elon Musk to Istanbul. I mean, who knows what's going on there. But then I just saw one that I thought was funnier. It says, did Turkish shooter Yusuf Dicek ask his wife to return his dog after bagging the silver medal? So apparently he got the silver medal. And somehow the family dog, he's using it to leverage the family dog, which is an interesting side story there.

I don't, yeah, I feel like that's a rock that it's better to not tip that one over because God knows what's crawling around right underneath it.

Oh, it's turkey. What could be so bad? exactly

hello and welcome to top story all right um this was previewed on yesterday's show and by previewed i mean we never got to it but um I saw this New York Times article about the headline kind of promises, I think, more than the article actually pays off. It's called Your Feet Are Killing Me, and it's written by Guy Trebay, who I think is kind of like a fashion opinion writer for The Times. And it's basically documenting that people are wearing sandals a lot, particularly people who identify as male are wearing a lot of sandals in a lot of situations where it might have been considered gauche before. Now, I say that the headline kind of overpromises because Guy Trebek, as far as I can tell, never actually says, stop doing this or this is a great trend. He just is kind of documenting it. And then he's kind of highlighting some people who think that it's a little bit, you know, how we wear, you know, how we present in public as far as our clothing does to some degree matter. And like wearing, just having your feet out and exposed at all times is maybe seen as not the classiest move. but then other people he interviews are like why do I care what someone else wears you know it's none of my business so this article just kind of makes the point that we're seeing a lot of sandals on men or people who identify as male in a lot more situations than we used to and one of those people who identify as male Andrew is me and I might be when we go to Italy wearing sandals because I have never cracked the it's going to be really really warm and i don't want to be like i was at pickathon where i'm wearing full-on pants and i'm hot and uncomfortable and i look silly so i do want to wear some shorts um but i i've never really fully gotten comfortable with the situation involving shoes and socks with shorts i've been and i've tried every tried every version of that i've tried the tiny socks i've i've tried to buy socks that are like imperceptibly small like they're like a gossamer wing that you kind of wrap around your foot that's totally invisible when you put the shoe on but the problem is they always somehow work their way off your feet then you end up just walking around with this like scrunched up sock thing that's not even covering your foot anymore

then if you do have to take off your shoe i know taking off your shoes after a day of wearing no socks is probably more problematic for everybody but there's something so embarrassing i never got the tiny sock revolution which i saw somebody some millennial and probably somebody who listens to this show like posting a meme bemoaning the the the end of the era of like the short sock this ankle sock or as you say maybe even like a you know what came out of that which was the smaller and smaller um socks and like i remember trying those at one point because everybody was wearing them I just I always hated them I hate the look there's no I don't this is like irrational when it comes to me and footwear and feet in general like I mean anything I have to say I have so many opinions on it but I try to keep it to myself because nobody cares about my opinions on this stuff I don't there's not a reason for me to have an opinion on what other people put on their feet but it's also so unbelievably irrational but I hate the look of those mini socks and this has been like what 15 years of those being the standard i hate the look of any kind of mini sock on a foot that is not wearing a shoe i think it is just like the weirdest thing and i mean it's a total look like i mean i you know and young people i see the young people i

mean somebody takes their shoes off yeah and you're walking around in those socks but i mean

i'm so on the outside of that i mean it is not uncommon for me to be at the grocery store and just see somebody wearing those mini socks with say with like um you know uh what do you call Flops or slides. Yeah, or what do you call the hippie sandals that everybody wore in college? Tevas. Birkenstocks. Birkenstocks, yeah. I mean, people are totally fine with that. It's something about my age and also all of my weird idiosyncrasies around this, and I just hate that look so much.

I do think the look of somebody, like they come to someone's house and it's a shoes-off house, but they've got those tiny socks on, but they're leaving. Because what are you going to do, go barefoot? So now you're just walking around their house in tiny socks? Yeah. You've got to leave. I cannot take you seriously In this conversation If you are just wearing your mini socks On somebody's carpet But I have never really been able to dial that in Because really for the mini socks to work The cut of the shoe Is important to me What I really want to try to avoid Is the mini sock That's not mini enough So it protrudes up Past the top of my shoe Too much But it's not just a full-on regular old gym sock Which is kind of what I've defaulted to now More and more

I bought some white gym socks

And I'll I'll just wear my tennis shoes with some gym socks, which I still might do for part of this trip. But I also, I see this sort of, I don't know, and we have a lot of listeners who are being like, who cares about any of this? Wear what you want to wear. Don't wear what you don't want to wear. Stop talking about this. But I never let that stop me from talking about this.

I mean, what are we going to talk about, guys? Want us to redo the top of the show again?

The thing is, Andrew, last night I purchased not one, But two pairs of Teva Or Teva All these years later I don't know how you say it I'm just going to say Teva Which is what we grew up with I've never heard Teva before where's this coming from There was for a while An insurgent campaign To try to get people to call it Teva I had no idea Oh yeah it's actually Teva People have been calling it Teva all these years And that's wrong I don't know what the real story is But I'm going to go with Teva And I'm going to go with Madrona Hill studio and waltz i bought two pairs of tevas last night i'm gonna try to see if i can go to my um i wanted to buy them from the uh the recreational what's the e in rei i thought you were going for rei the recreational enthusiast institute nope whatever i bought two pairs of teva men's mid uniform universal sandals why did i buy two well because apparently they cost 24.99 a pair and i actually think i kind of like the look of them and i thought well an air and a spare like i'll bring a pair to europe with me and if if it suits me i'll have a pair around here to wear around the house and around the yard but andrew if five years ago you would have told me that a teva would ever ever grace my foot again or to reverse if my foot were to ever grace a teva sandal again i would say you had lost your ever loving mind the teva sandal like the mambo sock and like the zuba was something i never really got into zubas or mambo socks you familiar with the mambo sock no i don't think so or i'll bet you i am and i don't know that's what it's called i saw somewhere online somebody i think wearing one of these and i'm like please don't let these be back the mamba sock mambo sock mamba sock was like a imagine you just took the one of the legs of a pant and you cut it off from the top of the leg down to the knee and then you put a drawstring on it and then you wore it like a hat this was something wait it's literally a hat yeah it's a hat it's and it had a drawstring on it and it was at least when i was at jesus creek amongst a certain like crew there of older kids very in style this sleeve that you put on your head and cinched down the you cinched down the little thing, are you seeing it online?

No, the internet, first of all if I don't type in hat I just get legitimate socks like both Mambo and Mamba when I type in Mambo sock hat

I also might be calling it the wrong thing

oh and also I think it's a brand, I'm typing it like Mambo, like let's do a dance and then a sock no no i see mambo sock is a it's spelled m-a-m-b-o-s-o-k like one word did you know

that but also i know i just learned that at the same time you did um but uh let's see the problem

okay okay so it flaps over sort of if some people are wearing it sort of flapping over like down to

their shoulders okay yeah and and also i guess they have a lot of different you know versions of this hat so some of them just look if you do this internet search it's like a baseball cap or a beanie or whatever i need to go back and redo baseball since my voice cracked baseball sir this is a wendy's uh i once again i think i just did this on yesterday's show or one of the special shows we've been taping but i just love finding out where the internet's mind is so i'm trying to find one of these mambo sock things to kind of like illustrate my point And it's just people also asked, what hat did Al Capone wear? Was it a mambo sock? You dirty rat. That was a Jimmy Cagney, I think, attempt. Also, what hat did Al Capone wear? And then you skipped down, what hat did Limp Bizkit wear?

Well, it's a wide net. Hey, listen, I wanted to, or a big tent is what I meant. I want to come back to something really quickly because I like this conversation, but I don't want to lose sight of something fun we could do here. back to REI because I had a feeling that I knew what it stood for as well and when I looked it up it seems very obvious and I want to see if I can talk you there so you got recreational right the I is ink so I can get you to this E

So what do they sell? It actually makes so—I couldn't think of it in the moment.

I think I've figured it out, actually, through a process of deduction. It's got to be equipment, right? It is.

It's Recreational Equipment, Inc., okay? I just wanted to kind of get that out there because it makes so much sense. It's not, you know, like an absurd stretch. So anyway, there we are.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you what. REI has me—I've said this on the show many times. i cannot go into an rei and not start purchasing things because of the aspirational experience that i have when i am in recreation equipment incorporated i go in there and i think i could become the kind of person who who who lives this way i could become the kind of person who who loves to be outside and loves to be you know roughing it and leaving no trace and all of these things and if i just get this proper equipment i'll really i'll really do that um so i love uh i love rei um and also i guess this is what i'm beating around the bush do you know that somebody from my wilco cover band is now the number two at rei and will probably become the new ceo of rei no i didn't know that my buddy i'll i don't know why i love the way this story makes it sound like

you're currently in a Wilco cover band, too. That's my favorite part.

From the one and only Wilco cover band that I was in in L.A. 20 years ago called Roger. And by in the band, I mean we would have practices and we would drink beer and we would play like Passenger Side by Wilco and also Wave of Mutilation by the Pixies. It was a kind of a grab bag. I say Wilco cover band, but there was some, there was a, played some Hole, played some Everclear.

How many practices did you have? I thought we had this conversation once and you said, well, we met once, but maybe I'm exaggerating that in my head.

I might have been trying to be funny.

We practiced. I mean, practiced.

It was a regular thing. Oh, yeah. It was like a weekly thing. We would get together. But then they actually played a gig. They were like at a wedding in Colorado of some people that they were friends with that I didn't know the people. So obviously I didn't go. And they like played a gig in Colorado. And I was not there for that. And I was also really, really holding the band back with my limited. You could have either said together or back there

Very different ends of that sentence

Very much back Like I was a millstone around the neck of the Wilco cover band But it's just funny to me that my buddy from that band And my long time friend from various Seattle and LA endeavors I just like look up one day And it's very likely that he will be the CEO of REI Oh wow Down the road So free crampons for everyone Nice, nice I'm trying to say I got a hookup, y'all Oh, the thing I was going to say about REI is the business model is so interesting to me because I'm sure that, like, I'm sure I'm probably paying a premium for the experience of being there, you know, when I buy stuff. Also, being there is the name of a Wilco record. Yeah, ooh. It's all coming together, yeah. Jeff Tweedy, who is my god, by the way. That is who I pray to.

Is that what you said when you interviewed him? Is that how you opened the interview and how did it go from there?

Not really great. But here's what is about REI I feel like I don't spend that much money there But I feel like every time I go in there I have some dividend of like 150 bucks

Oh, that's right Because it's like a kind of a co-op It's a co-op Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay

Which is where incorporated I think is a bit misleading But yeah, like I feel like the business I don't understand the business model of REI How it feels like I spend $200 a year at REI And every year I have $200 of dividend credit at REI I don't – again, that's just my perception. There's no way that's actually the case. But I'm always pleasantly surprised at how much co-op member dividend I'm getting back from them that I'm just reapplying to whatever I'm buying. But I always feel like I don't go to this place very much. I don't buy that much stuff from them. How do I have $200 of credit here?

You mentioned that feeling that you have when you go into REI and it's sort of aspirational for you and you kind of spend some money that you didn't expect to spend or you buy something. But I have the opposite – I feel like maybe I've tried to explain this to you before, and I don't have the right words for it. But REI is the kind of store that when I walk in – and I don't walk in that often, to be honest with you. It's just not my lifestyle, right? But when I walk in, it has sort of the feel and the trappings of a store that would excite me. But then I'm disappointed when I realize the type of stuff they're selling because I have no use for it. like i don't know what it is about a certain store but when you're a kid obviously toy stores were the best right toy stores were the best but then there were other things that were like kind of close to a toy store but then various levels of disappointing like i i really like bookstores like in a mall bookstore like a bl no dl dalton what were the dalton bookstore uh dalton booksellers was it just dalton booksellers okay yeah whatever the two you know like that was one that it's sort of like it you would walk in and you you knew there was a fun section dalton probably dalton yeah yeah okay that's all it was but you you knew exactly where the garfields were and like those were those very colorful books and sort of you know it's kind of like the candy section of the bookstore or whatever and then like another then like a second level down would be like a pool store now not to brag but as you know we had an above ground pool as a kid and uh we had to go and buy equipment for it from time to time like new little like those little test tube things with the various bases and acids that you would just sort of and colors that you would test the pH balance of the pool I liked doing that as a kid but like when you would you know I remember my mom would pull the what did she drive the Pontiac up to the up to the pool store and when you first walk in it smells it smells like chlorine and vacation and yeah and it's kind of got in there might be a few pool noodles or something in the corner that seems like all this this is giving me this feeling

of a toy store it's fun adjacent this is a portal through which you will travel to fun but then in

like 30 seconds it's worn off because you're realizing oh this is like a bunch of pumps and like solar covers and it seemed like fun when i walked in but the the fun quotient in here is very low and rei like that at the at the ripe old age of 47 although i probably have not even been there since i was 40 i don't know the last time i've been to an rei to an rei a recreational equipment incorporated but um like you walk in you're like oh my god especially the one you know in downtown the flagship store not downtown where is that that's like denny or whatever um yeah what do you call that neighborhood doesn't matter um when you walk in you know it's like a special experience but then i'm like oh i mean i guess like maybe i'll go look at the swiss army knives like i don't know like what's in here that excites me that's like a toy for me because i'm not interested in camping i don't care about tents i don't care about i feel like here's where you

could utilize it you in the summertime do like to spend some time in your yard doing a kind of some sort of fire pit thing or like do you have one of those solo stoves we do yeah we have a solo stove so like are you are the chairs that you're sitting on when you're looking at the solo stove are they all they could be because that's where you could do some upgrading here's

here's the deal and this is the difference between me and Genevieve and maybe me and the rest of the world when uh there's a fire pit going I don't like sitting I'm a putterer I like to stand I'm constantly tending the fire i have my fire poker stick i'm like always like could you get a better

fire poker stick there's something could you get one that is also a water filter

can you get somewhere is it off the grid it's a fire it's a fire poker as well as something that turns human urine into potable potence um wait you need a thing for that yeah didn't you do a piece on that with those build i kind of did although it got cut out of the piece

i just i know this just came up recently so i won't belabor it but like that that was the difference between luke burbank cub cbs news correspondent and luke burbank grizzled old sow now who is not much longer for this world i would never drink pond scum out of a pond at Berkeley and have it not get in the piece yeah sure right I would not be having that shit right right at the time I was like yeah I was I drank the I drank water from the scummiest pond on the campus of UC Berkeley using this thing called a life straw which is actually a very very clever and important invention particularly in places in the world where there's not access to clean water you can drink through this and it will filter out things that are bad for you right right right but I did this whole thing, and then the editor or the producer or somebody was like, yeah, we're just going to take that out. And I was just like, okay. And now I would never, ever tolerate that. Well, what would you do?

Like, in all seriousness, what kind of power do you have there?

I would make the case forcefully. At first, I would make the case nicely, and then I would make the case forcefully for why I think it's relevant to the piece. Would the phrase, I'll walk, ever come up? I'll walk. No, because— Because they'll let you walk. I reserve that for our TBTV meetings I told you this story years ago And I think it had to be It had to be just some crazy misunderstanding It made no sense as a possible thing But early in my time of knowing my neighbors in Bellingham Rich and Linda, who are very real They sound super real I was somehow making small talk with Rich And I said something along the lines, I guess he had some distant family member who worked at CBS, not on Sunday morning, but like literally for the like the Columbia Broadcasting System. And I said something about how, you know, either like I'm really trying to advocate for myself in these stories or I'm really trying to like shape these stories. so that I feel like they reflect my sensibility about the world, I was saying something, and he said, yeah, I heard from my, let's say, cousin that you can be a little difficult. And I was like, I wasn't offended by that, I just thought, there's no way that I'm even on anyone's radar, no one is having a conversation about me there, which is honestly a diss of me, like if I was Nora O'Donnell, I could have a rep, I don't have a rep there, because I'm not a big enough fish to have a reputation, no one is going, Luke Burbank, boy, he's good but tough, so just get ready. He's a real squeaky from. He's a real—he is difficult. Difficult. Like, I just—I was like, I can't believe you would even say that because there's no way that's a real thing. I probably am difficult, but I promise you that's localized to the producers and editors who have to work with me. That has not made its way out to the wider world.

But wait, you say you promised me, but was this a rude awakening for you, or you somehow feel that Rich got—are you in denial of Rich?

I think Griff's got his wires crossed.

Really?

There's just no way that his random cousin, who I'd never met or heard of, had heard the legend of me being difficult in edits, when at that point I'd done like five stories. And it was very compliant, really, because I was letting them cut out my life straw.

Yeah, you're drinking piss through a straw. Like, I'm difficult.

Now I am difficult, and that's fine. I'll wear that title with pride. But anyway, all that is to say, I think if you really put your mind to it, Andrew, you could waste some good money at REI. You just have to really, really focus in on what, when you're outside of your house, and you're standing outside of your house, what is going on for you, and could you throw $200 at that problem and make it somehow lighter, more durable, cooler in some way, because that is the mentality that I have when I go into REI, and that's how I always have dividend points.

I'm trying to think what store now, Because, you know, obviously a KB Toys doesn't have the same – it doesn't hit the same as it did when I was collecting G.I. Joes at age 11. I'm trying to think what stores do still give me that kid in a candy store or kid in a KB store sort of sensation when I walk in there. And as I say it out loud, I think maybe I'm just dead on the inside. I'm definitely not anti-consumerism. I love me a grocery store. You know, I know I say this all the time. I love grocery stores, but I think my I think I love grocery stores before the pandemic. And I'm sure it's something that was already a topic on the show. But I think that post pandemic, I just appreciate them even more. There's just something about, and I realized that it's the idea of plenty, the seeing of the empty shelves during the pandemic gave me such a bad feeling that it is not uncommon for me to be like kind of tootsing around the grocery store and just like looking at the shelves and being like, this feels safe to me. This feels like a safe space, but I still feel like I could do something better than a grocery store. What are you going to do with your – and I'm not trying to rush this segment, but, like, so where are you? Oh, you said you're going to get these Tevas, huh? What are they called again? Let me put – I don't even want to – I hate Tevas. Let me see. What are they called again?

Hold on. I'm going to put a picture in the chat. Do you know how to do that? I'll figure it out on the fly. I'm a resourceful dude. All right. Let's see here. I'm taking a photo of it. You're not going to – you are going to hate these, Andrew, by the way.

Okay, good. So there's not – it's not some special – I thought when you – You obviously have an eye towards design and fashion, so whether or not it's a good eye is another question. But I thought for sure that after reading a New York Times article, which I have not read, but that you were going to get yourself, and you're going to Italy, so I thought you were going to get yourself some sort of like kind of a fashionable leather-stropped, you know, not a flip-flop, but something that is a little bit more fashionable.

No. Well, this isn't a flip-flop either, by the way.

Yeah, no, I was picturing like a Teva.

I can't mess with flip-flops. I don't like that thing in between my toes. Yeah, it's weird. Let's see. I somehow have managed to lose this photo. You know, Andrew, the answer to your question is I don't know how to use the— No, I didn't think you did. No, no, no. I've got it now. I've got it now. Do I just drag it into the chat? I don't know, dude.

I don't use the chat on these things.

How did you show me that picture?

Oh, I did a screen share on that, which we do not have the time. Forget it. How do I screen share? We do not have the time to do that. Can I even do that? Don't worry about it, honestly.

Okay, I'm going to print it out, and I'm going to hold up a picture of it to the camera, okay?

Print it out.

It's going to be in grayscale, because I don't have a color.

Now it's a Becca. Have Becca take a photo of it and text it to me. I don't have a color printer, but I am going to show this to you.

But here's the problem. It's going to be black and white, which is going to leave out the most interesting part, which is they are multicolored straps on this sandal that I'm buying. And to answer your question about the kind of leather thing, you know, I don't want to get too— You could argue that Ativa is getting edgy in a way because, again, I feel like that was a fashion. trend that came on very hard i was obsessed by the way in high school with getting some tevas like i very much in there you know they were expensive at the time i think maybe like i bummed some of like derrick lilliscar's old ones off of him or something but i was very into these at the time and then like anything that was really in style you then look back on it at least i do and go like what was i thinking and then it cycles back in and cycles out and it sort of cycles back in so i did not ever think i would wear one of these that being said they seem at this point to be actually kind of non-edgy to me and like not trying not pushing I don't want to push the boundaries of fashion at all with this I want something that's functional but that also I don't know says I have five percent of a clue as far as the outfit choices that I'm making hold on let me

grab it you literally you've printed something out and you're gonna hold it up okay hold it up can you see okay yeah this I will say this okay you can tell that the straps are multicolored even though this is grayscale you can tell that they're like kind of varying in colors and shades and I will say this about that shoe that you were holding up it has wider straps than most Tevas which I think go kind of a long way I think that's the skinny I just want to say I think I'm confident that most people listening to this are just like Andrew's a weirdo when it comes to feet and footwear and all that stuff and I am and that should be your takeaway I'm not saying any of this because I'm sure the vast majority of our audience are much more comfortable with whatever footwear they're wearing and they don't overthink it or they like what they like and they're a teva crowd and that's good i'm not like being judgmental i want to be very clear about that way to be i am just weird about this shit like i grew up just here was my footwear journey like my friend tony who i took a lot of my cues from was like wearing like kind of he was a musician and like kind of had a a rock and roll aesthetic i would say and um and i would say it that way because i can't pronounce that word so that's how i would say it i'm also a little a little dodgy on the definition i need to slow it down aesthetic a lot aesthetic i think it's just the s into the th but um anyway and so like i remember even maybe i wanted doc martens at a pretty young age but instead i got like some sort of like we would wear like black boots i literally steel-toed boots and then eventually like doc martens it was like and like we would hang out and we were always wearing our boots and like i remember like sleeping literally sleeping at on the floor of his studio wearing my boots like all weekend or whatever like just weird ass close to being a gutter punk oh my god just weird ass so close to losing you just see you riding the rails with a dog yeah no i mean honestly i wanted i wanted freedom i wanted i was a long i was a long-haired weirdo or whatever and so because of that like the i never hung out like you know people today are all like they'll have fancy dinner parties and i'll see it on instagram Like some of my fanciest friends are having like these high end dinner parties and they're all hanging out in their socks. And like for me, like I just can't I cannot I can't combine those two in my head. But I just want to make it clear, like I am obviously the weird one here. Like I just grew up in this weird way or at a very kind of impressionable age. I was just kind of like hide these babies as much as possible between as much leather as possible. And so I have weird hang ups about it.

I mean, the thing that I'll say about the whole shoes off household thing is it's one of those weird situations where, to be honest with you, just think about it logically, all of the science, all of the logic, it points towards taking your shoes off before you go into the house. It's the most obvious choice And you are a very clean person And I'm a relatively clean person Like there is no arguing With the With the practical effect Of us not wearing our shoes Into our homes or into other people's homes And yet You will not catch me At a party in a shoes off house For long It will be the amount of time That it takes me to figure out it's a shoes off house And then the amount of time I can make polite conversation until i can get my shoes it's not get my tevas back on and be out the door

i'm being more open about that with people too like it's a little bit weird but i'm just like yeah sorry i don't do like kind of shoes off the house parties like i mean i can't get out of all of them i have like some close friends who are shoes off house but like other ones i'm just kind of like nah it's just not my scene like you guys can like i know like a friend invited us we have a group of uh like a small group of friends we'll go out to eat every now and then And but I know that a lot of the folks on this chain prefer to have dinner parties at their house. Again, there's like six or eight of us or something. And I'm always like, well, let's go to a restaurant. And then if they're like, hey, everybody, let's all come over and we're like going to that shoes off restaurant. Right, exactly. Let's go to Chuck E. Cheese and go play in the ball pit. But so I'm always like kind of pushing for a restaurant because there are various reasons why I'm just not comfortable hanging out in people's homes for dinner. I just don't like that scene for whatever reason. But so I always push for the restaurant. But the thing is like not. Not everybody on the, you know, not everybody likes that. Most of the people on these, you know, in this group would prefer to hang out at somebody's house, maybe play a game or whatever. And I'm just not into that. And so when somebody sends out like, hey, let's get Modu pizza, let's get on the one month wait list for a pizza pie and have a party at my house. I'm just kind of like, I just go radio silent on that. I'm just kind of like, that's just not for me. And I'm, you know, I'm 47, I'm cranky, I'm old. Like, I only have so much time left in my life to turn the baseball game to the easiest level and just beat up the Detroit Tigers. You know what I mean?

Do you don't be mean to Detroit. Do you know the most sick and twisted part of this whole thing? As far as my experience goes, when people come over, very few people have been over to this house because it's still under construction. but um like my old house in bellingham burbank springs broadcast center and stuff which you know we put a lot of time and money into and and had it pretty dialed in when people so this is what happened people would come in and it would be not unusual for someone to say oh is this shoes off which it was hardwood floors so it probably there that would be i would say it even less of an argument for shoes off it's like it's hardwood but i always took that as a really high compliment because it was like them saying this place seems like you've taken pretty good care of it and so the the saying is this shoes off house i took it to be like oh that was that was nice of you to think that this is the kind of house where it's shoes off but then i would be like no no no it is not shoes off it's shoes on in fact put another pair of shoes on your hands walk around on all fours like a braying donkey like i would go from being like flattered that somebody perceived it to be shoes off i took that as a compliment to overly lecturing them on how much it was a shoes

on house i have i have a whole bunch of shoes that people can wear when they come into my house i have shoes that they can put on over there i have i have oversized doc i have galoshes i have

doc martin so you can slip on shoes i've got anything you need i put a minimum of three pair of shoes on everyone's feet please here in this house i have thought about i've told you that i

I like to buy, and I think I'm wearing them now, I like to buy my, I always call them Docksiders, but they're not. They're like Skechers, Sliders, or whatever. Whatever they are, they're not Skechers, I'm sorry, Sperry. Yeah, boat shoes, someone called them maybe. Yeah, but they're not like leather with tassels. They're just like the slip-on canvas shoes that are very, very, very basic, and I wear those around the house. And then I did find some sort of super inexpensive knockoffs at Target that I bought a couple of times that last you about a year before they start falling apart. But I mostly sort of wear them as slippers around the house.

Are you wearing Hey Dudes? Do you know what that is? Will you Google Hey Dude shoes?

I thought you meant a brand.

Well, that is a brand, but it's also a style of shoe that's very popular. And when you're trying to describe these shoes to me, I'm always picturing this. And I want to know if I'm picturing if I'm in the right neighborhood. I know you're not wearing this brand, but is it a shoe that's similar to this?

Kind of, but not quite as much of a sole on them. nobody ever accused me of having too much soul um here like a sperry slide on i cannot believe how much of this show here here's what i want you to look up luke you ready for this i'm not going to screen share look up put it in the chat sperry men's striper to slip on and the two is a

number uh to slip on okay gotcha gotcha oh oh sure oh dude i love these this is a classic it's a very very classic simple look it's very much like a van we used to yeah yeah yeah i used to wear a slip-on van vans that was a lot like this yeah yeah so anyway i like that so so this is the shoe

that i wear around the house all the time and then as like i start by wearing them just inside the house but then eventually if i'm running out to grab something i might leave them on especially in the summertime and so I have various levels of these like in their life cycle of like the ones I'm only wearing inside to the ones that sometimes go outside to eventually I'm trimming the hedges in them or whatever and I have thought about buying if not these Sperry's which aren't you know they're like 50 bucks or something but then also there's like super cheap ones you get a target for like 20 that I'm sure are made just like looking out for the safety and well-being of everybody who made those super cheap shoes at Target. I've been thinking about like, so our friends whose house I go over to the most and they're a shoes-off house, I have seriously been thinking about buying a pair of these and just saying, can I leave these here? But I don't know for them that it's also scuffing or something, but like, can I leave these here and just slip them on when I'm here and I never will wear them outside? Can these just be Andy shoes? That's a great solution. I'm thinking about doing that.

How do you feel about this? I don't think this would fix it for you, but I feel like I have been to a house well certainly I've been to plenty of real estate showings where this is the deal obviously with like the booties

I feel like I have a memory. This could be totally like a Mandela effect, but I feel like I have a memory of going to someone's house who was like, our house is either shoes off or could you like throw these things on? And I definitely voted for throw these things on, although you do also look silly. You do look silly. With the booty on your feet.

Of course, you remember that at your place, right? The party at the TV show.

Yes, I was the person doing that because it was a listener get-together in my actual house that I think I maybe had already sold or was very close to selling, and so I figured everybody can know where this is. but like i did i think because i didn't want to mess the place up since it was already it was almost someone else's at that point that i had those booties for everyone but like let's just imagine at like a regular actual dinner party get together and someone says the options are shoes off or put those booties on does that at all help you that you at least get to have your

real shoes on but they're under that i don't know honestly i that that does not yeah i don't really like that choice i don't know what i would do it depends i'd probably do what most of the other people are doing and this whole thing about me like potentially having a pair of shoes at somebody's house i am not saying that i would do this to get out of the situation and like in other words like my the little dinner party crew i was talking about like um i i wouldn't even want to bring that up with them because they i don't know how crazy they all know i am or like whatever like i would just call more attention like i just don't want attention you know but i'm thinking about our buds and i'll just say you know it's camaro kevin and nita like they're shoes off house but we're there so often and like they feel almost more like family at this point and so we're there so often that it would be kind of nice to be like hey do you mind if i slip these on or whatever i think we spent the last two i think even last two christmas dinners we were there you know and like they they know i'm weird enough and they have slippers and stuff so i feel like you know i

could probably do that just make sure you don't accidentally utter can i slip into something more

comfortable because that's gonna really send a chill through the room you misunderstand my friend because these Sperry men's shoes go so well with my negligee that I also keep at Camaro Cabs. It's a teddy.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

You can say the word negligee, no problem, but aesthetic hangs you up. I guess we know where your mind is.

Well, that's why I love the word vibe. I feel like vibe, But even though vibe and aesthetic are not exactly the same thing, like, it can kind of, yes, vibe is such a catch-all, too. It really is, yeah.

I should replace, I should actually replace that, too, because seriously, like, there, I'm not totally clear on when aesthetic is the right word and when it isn't, and I use it often, and I'm sure many times, you know, in the wrong way.

Well, I think, I mean, what do you think it means? I've never heard you use it wrong. It seems pretty straightforward, like, what your look is.

Well, I think it has a few different meanings. I think of someone's aesthetic as being, I think of someone having an aesthetic, which is like kind of their look or their vibe, to use that word. But then I think there also, there's something called an aesthetic choice. Somebody made, and aesthetics is its own, I think, like, you know, maybe visual sort of language or something. Like, there's just some other uses of the word that I'm just really fuzzy on that I feel like I'm probably not doing it right.

Huh, I don't know. It seems like both of those branch off the same thing. If something makes an aesthetic choice, it means, you know, the way something kind of looks, you know. I mean, it's usually, I think it's usually visual, right? I mean, you could have an audio aesthetic, but probably that's not how most people are using it.

Concerned with beauty or the appearance, the appreciation of beauty, a set of principles underlining and guiding the work of a particular artist or artistic movement, the cubist aesthetic. So in that case, as it's a set of principles, that's where I start to get a little bit hazy on it.

I see, the more intellectual and the hard definition of that.

Yeah, I've never, never, it's never been a good place for me to try to hang out, the intellectual side of things.

Hey, I have one voicemail here for you. This came in a while ago, so my guess is we're probably too late to actually help Eric, but Eric wants some. That is definitely our aesthetic. Yeah, for sure. He wants some advice on a party, I think.

Hey, guys, this is Eric in Madison. I'm calling for some advice. I just discovered that my neighbor has an annual hot dog festival, and I'm wondering how you think I can manage to get an invitation for next year. The situation is they've got four different kinds of hot dogs that are voted on, but when the Chicago dog wasn't picked, they decided that the house rules is that Chicago dog always has to be there. And I really approve of this, but I'm going to need your help figuring out how to spend the next year nagging an invite so I don't miss out on the fifth annual Hot Dog Festival.

Thanks. Bye. Sausage Fest. I'm a little confused about the Chicago thing. I'm also interested, why does Eric know so many details about this very specific, well, I would call it the Chicago Dog S. but it's interesting he has so many details about what goes on in these closed walls but

doesn't have the insight. If I'm understanding the voicemail there was like a you know some kind of an email that went around that said let's decide on like the was it the four hot dogs that we're going to enjoy at this party and four styles of hot dogs and Chicago Dog didn't make the list but then they were like we have to put like we have to put Chicago Dog on the list which I support Chicago Dogs are iconic and delicious.

Yeah. Oh, God. Sport peppers. Where else are you going to eat a sport pepper? I need to get some sport peppers.

Just have them around the house.

That's my confusion. So if Eric's question in earnest is like, how do I score an invite to this thing? But you already know so much about it.

Has he not been invited to this? He's just had his nose up against the glass watching this happen?

I feel like you're part of the dialogue. Certainly you're part of the discourse. But, you know, I mean, you know, this does bring up something. I was mentioning to you before we got rolling today, Luke, that last night on a Monday night, our neighbors next door, we have like three neighbors who live next door. They rent the place next to us, and we really, really like them. I always think of them as kind of younger people. I learned it was one of their birthdays yesterday, so I think he was turning 32 or 34 or something, so that gives you sort of an age range. And I just really, really like them. They're young. They're younger and cooler than me and Genevieve. And like, you know, like one of them is like in a band and one of them is like a chef. And I don't know what the what the deal with all of them are, but we're really friendly with them and we talk over the fence a lot. And this weekend I ran into one of them and he said, hey, we're having a party for my birthday on Monday. And I said, oh, great. I'll come over and I'll bring a six pack or something. And then he said, yeah, we want to use like some of the parking around your house, if that's OK. And I was like, oh, yes, I'm sorry. You weren't inviting me. You were just asking to use the parking around our house. He's like, no, no, you're invited or whatever. And then I was very kind of chuffed yesterday while Genevieve and I were recording our podcast. I got a phone call from our neighbor whose birthday it was. And I couldn't pick up, so I let it go. I'm like, it's probably some small thing asking about if they're making too much noise or something, which they weren't. But then about an hour later, he called again. He's like, hey, I just want to make sure that you're coming over. And I was like, oh, what I thought was, like, a casual invite, you know, when we ran into each other outside our house a few days ago, it was, like, a legit invite, and we went over there, and it was, like, kind of the first time we've actually, like, socialized with all of them and their friends, and they're just all such good, earnest people, and, like, and it was just a very, very nice time. But this is the thing that sort of kills me is Genevieve and I come home. It was a shoes-off party, but it was outside. It was a shoes-off party. We had to walk through. oh man there are three of the best dogs there they have a dog next door and then one of them has a girlfriend who has a dog named maggie who's been coming bingo has only bingo has not

eliminated your dogological clock he's only stalled it you know bingo is it kind of makes

friends and bingo and maggie are kind of friends now because genevieve will like put bingo in a leash and walk around the yard and maggie rog the the dog is too scared of bingo for some reason which is pretty funny because he like you know he's like 10 times the size of him but uh maggie the one-year-old really likes to touch noses with bingo through the fence, which is very, very cute.

Unbelievable journey or whatever that Disney movie was.

But anyway, so Genevieve, who often will throw a big summer party, as she did last year, we came home and we were watching TV or something after hanging out with our neighbors, and she said, boy, I just feel bad. And I'm like, why do you feel bad? She's like, well, I mean, I know I went over there last year. I swear I remember going over there and telling them, hey, we're having a party in a few days, And, of course, you're invited, you know, come on over. But when I was hanging out with them, they were like, yeah, last year we heard your party and it went really late and it sounded like a really good time. And we kept thinking, like, we should maybe come over, but we didn't want to invite ourselves. And, you know, like all Genevieve wants, if she throws a party, is for as many people to kind of show up and have a good time as possible. Feats of strength. Feats of strength. And especially those guys.

And then also everyone show up.

Yeah, and especially those guys. She loves the – we had never, like, kind of really, like, officially socialized before. So I don't know. I guess I'm trying to turn this into advice for Eric, but I think often people might. I mean, listen, you do not want to be gauche and be like, so can I come to your party? But I'll bet you if it's a big party or whatever, and you're living next door and you already know all of this information about it, people probably expect you to show up or ask about it, right?

Yes, that was exactly my advice, was if somehow you don't get a formal invite, just show up and, you know, just bring, you know, as my friend Robert Smith used to say, because we had a weekly barbecue, bring something to grill and something to swill. Just bring a six-pack of something, whatever it is you go in for, and some dogs, you know. He also used to say,

tell me, tell me, tell me how you do that. Sorry, go ahead.

Oh, man. I wish I could get close.

to him it's a far too deep cure joke did not work um but uh yeah oh yeah i can't believe i buried the lead i'm friends with the cure lead singer no but just like to the listener just show up man like just and and again just make sure you got some stuff with you so you don't seem like you're trying to trying to freeload and um and no one's even gonna know if you were invited or not

yeah you know what I mean did you ever crash parties in college there was a time in college where like me and my friends were into like literally I remember one specifically and we weren't on campus we were actually in Lakewood Ohio shout out to uh Marissa in Lakewood I believe um I remember being in college but it was like a weekend or something and we were maybe hanging out of friend's house in Lakewood and there was just like a raging party of like on the block somewhere like a kind of a college party a bunch of people like hanging off of the porch drinking like it was like a kegger and we were at that age where we were going to a lot of parties like that legitimately anyway and i think there were four of us and we're just like well let's just walk in and like let's just i mean there's the party is so big nobody's gonna question who we are and we did do that but i think eventually we did like somehow the jig was up and people were like wait who are you why are you here and then we're just like we're here to party but that at that point like you know everybody was like so drunk like the only thing about a part at that age though beer is a more of a limited resource yes you know what i mean like at this age we can always just go down to the am pm dodge a few bullets and grab another rack of beer right cover me

just controlled shoulder roll into the am pm running in a zigzag pattern oh we laugh so we You know, but I, it's, it's so funny because, um, or maybe it's not that funny or, but cause this is predicated on the idea that the listeners think I'm a party slash cool guy, which I'm probably not. And certainly based on recent conversations that maybe have never been, but like I did not, I don't think I went to in college, certainly before I was 21, I don't think I went to one kegger ever. and even when i was over 21 and still in college it's just so my life was so not about that stuff not because i had some great moral compass or because i was particularly religious i just didn't first i had first of all i had a kid so half of the weekends are just like covered with that is what's going on and i just didn't run with a crowd where we like ever did get togethers where the central thing was alcohol or like we would be walking on the street and there'd be a raging kegger and be like we got to get into that like it was a i had a weirdly kind of i don't know what the word is a wholesome i guess sort of college i mean it's it's been all downhill from there don't get me wrong but i was a very wholesome college kid so i probably never crashed a party because i was somehow not interested in partying i mean i was interested in hanging out with people and doing stuff but but the party aspect of it just never connected with me in college again i tried to make up for lost time for a good 25 years afterwards but in those days i was a pretty

pretty big nerd i mean i liked i mean i always liked sort of drinking and and i've always been a fan of substance abuse i guess um is sure i'm working on a memoir about that um but uh i so in college like it was i was still me in that i still loved like staying home in my tiny little awful little um studio that smelled like cigarettes and freon and i would just like just literally spend nights by myself like drinking and smoking mini fridge that was well no we had a like i had a you were huffing it well it's only vcr cleaner uh i had like a um small mini air conditioning wall unit that was kind of weird it wasn't in a window it was like a wall unit it must have like because it was like an apartment building it was this nasty ass like it was like what did they call it in the wire it was like the low it was like the low rises but anyway and so like I remember like because I think I have voicemail tapes of people being like come on out like my friends being mad at me and like harassing me knowing that you know this is the days when the voicemail machine wasn't just on your phone it wasn't quiet right like if you're sitting there trying to read your bukowski and then the phone rings you don't get it you hear everybody yelling at you on the phone to get your ass out here but when i did go out i feel like we and again i don't know if it was chasing buzzes or whatever like whatever whatever instincts i had whatever crowd i hung out with we weren't like we weren't like fraternity guys we didn't like that stuff but like we were going to big ass parties and I remember being at a party one time speaking of drugs and I don't even know if I partook in this but I remember being bowled away going to a party one time and there was a huge line that was going down the stairs. So it was a house party and you'd walk in and there's some huge line winding through the bottom level of the house, but it was going up the stairs. And I was like, what's up there? And they're like, the, now I'm blanking on it. It was nitrous. They're like, the nitrous tank is up there. Oh, like whip it. Yeah, everybody was just like, and they were all holding balloons. And it was like this long snaking line of people just like going up, taking their nitrous and then coming back to the end of the line. Like, that just stands out to me. That's just one of many. Fear and loathing at Kent State. Just dirtbaggy. Like, now that I'm saying this, I'm thinking of so many dirtbaggy parties like that we were at. But, you know, I mean, would I be a better podcaster today if I hadn't killed so many brain cells in college? I'm sure. But also.

It made you into the man you are today, Andrew. Exactly.

Somebody who's scared to leave my house.

Well, I'm scared for this episode to be over But honestly, I'm out of things to say Like a whippet hit This is a short acting thing And now it's gone, and now I have nothing left to say So we should go ahead and wrap it up But we're going to be back here tomorrow With more Imaginary Radio for you I will be joining you from San Francisco, California And we'll be down there shooting some television stuff So do tune in for that tomorrow I'm sure I'll have many stories of my short flight from Portland to San Francisco. So anyway, that's the plan. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Sleepiness is the most common side effect. Power out.