Muse

can I start you gentlemen with something to drink oh here we go I'm good with just water

you sure the bar is everything oh no no thanks though I don't drink

do you mind if we drink no no no of course not

I almost started to interrupt. Oh, my God. I crammed my pants. I'm like, oh, no. What am I going to do here? I have a double bourbon in the burners. I have a giant glass boot filled with beer. I'm sorry. We don't have that. Well, then your bar doesn't have everything. TBTL.

Daddy's here, and Daddy is going to take care of you. Please don't refer to yourself as our Daddy. I am your big daddy, and I am going to kiss the boo-boo. Are you all afraid? No. Daddy's here for you, my widow angels.

I don't know what you did or didn't do, but I do know that I can't know what you know or you don't know. You know?

I know. Okay. I know what you're feeling, and it's fear, but not fear of failure, fear of opportunity.

This is the real thing. This is the necessary art of our time. This needs respect. I see you exhaling, sir. We're going to be with you in just a moment. You've got to be patient, okay? We're very, very sorry. Our apology. We apologize to you. You will not have to wait that much longer at all.

All right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Tuesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

Another day, another victory for the OG, taking down the sweats, the impostors among us.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. Oh, la la. Coming to you from the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, California, at my absolute favorite hotel in the world, Mondrian. Huh? That is not completely a lie. I know yesterday I was really down on this place, but now I'm up on this place because of a conversation I had with someone at the front desk. I figured out how to make the phone work. You've got to be kidding me. Give you an update on that here on episode 4,270 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. The Washington Post, known for its hard-hitting journalism, of course the home of the Woodward and Bernstein investigative unit, has now turned their attention on how to properly load a dishwasher. clean as your mama's forehead and i found it very satisfying to know that i am not crazy when it comes to dishwasher loading so we'll talk about that with this guy noted clean person and dishwashing enthusiast he's also the longest running co-bro of the show maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships and not to brag but we're pretty close we're pals we're like uh you know we're almost uh i'm his best friend also co-boss basically that he's andrew walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning.

I believe the name of the hotel you're staying at is The Mandadorian, Luke. I believe you have it. Slightly wrong.

The Mandadorian.

The Mandadorian. We have a friend who refers to The Mandalorian so much as The Mandadorian. I don't know how this started. If this started with Genevieve mispronouncing it and irritating Camaro Kev. Yeah, I can't remember if that was him because he likes that show. So maybe he just called it that or whatever. And so now when people say The Mandalorian, it sounds wrong to me. I only recognize it as The Mandalorian. And I will correct you if you say The Mandalorian.

I like that show, The Mandalorian. I got to it kind of late. I think I watched it maybe with my nephews. But is it true? Am I remembering correctly that it's Pedro Pascal, right? He's The Mandalorian?

Yeah, but, I mean, it really raises a lot of questions about why. I think at some point, and, you know, spoilers, I'm not even sure because I kind of gave up on it. It got, listen, a lot of people love that. That's great. It got a little bit schmaltzy for me a little bit about, I don't know, halfway through. And so I kind of, and for that, I was out. But, you know, I know that people with better taste than me love it. So I'm not trying to make a statement there. I just, I didn't, I thought that I'd heard by the end, maybe you get a face reveal. Because with a face like that, you need a face reveal, right? Otherwise, I mean, you're really kind of your Pascal on the shelf. That's what I'm saying.

But it raises the question for him. I mean, did he really need to be there? Like, I'm assuming they shot that in, like, North Africa or something, somewhere desert-y. Like, did he need to go all the way there and be on set every day just to get? I mean, is this physicality such that it had to be him? I mean, people do have distinctive walks, I guess.

Yeah, and I mean, somebody's got to be in there. You're right. Yeah, I'm not exactly sure with the whole... I feel like somebody got to the bottom of that, and I was not there at the bottom with them.

I'm trying to get a body double to go interview Ryan Seacrest for me.

Oh, yeah.

So I can stay here at my favorite hotel in America. Wait, that already happened. Mondrian.

Did you already? Listen.

Were you going to try to stick to some sort of conceit?

I don't know, man. I don't know why I brought it up.

I gave up on that conceit about 20 minutes ago when I was on the phone with the front desk and I thought, I mean, I'm going to have to just, so, you know, as you have probably pieced together because you're a studious listener to the show, we are recording two episodes on Monday. This is the Tuesday episode, which is recorded in short succession after the Monday episode.

Which actually makes the hotel story even more. I'm glad that we're blowing up the timeline here because, honestly, a listener might think, well, it's been 24 hours since the last show and something grand has happened in Luke's life. He's gone from hating this hotel to loving it. It's actually way more interesting if you know that Luke and I had just stopped talking for about 20 minutes as I posted the show. And I'm sitting here listening to you saying that you now love this hotel. It's actually way more interesting knowing that something happened in the 20 minutes since we last talked.

You know, first of all, I feel bad about yesterday. I was very sour at the top of the show, and I want to apologize. It's funny how this kind of can work in your brain. So yesterday I said this was the absolute embodiment of everything I hate about Los Angeles. Or not, I don't hate Los Angeles. In fact, I love L.A. You should write a song about that. The parts, I'm focusing on a song about people of diminutive height first.

Okay, yeah, finish that.

How did we all just let Randy Newman slide on that one?

I think it's, I think it's, he's being sarcastic, yeah.

Okay. Um, I, uh, I'm a fan of Los Angeles, California, but there is a, an aspect of it, if you will, or a kind of a vibe in certain places. Most of the time when people tell me I don't like LA, I can, I can guess pretty accurately that what happened was they came to LA, they went to the Sunset Strip, they tried to sort of, you know, kind of turn up at some place to, to, to see and be seen. and there was a huge line and they also were staying in like torrents and they tried to drive up here and it was like they were in traffic all day and then the places they went were full of a bunch of fakie people um and that's not in my mind the best way to enjoy los angeles uh and i am kind of in that zone here because of the proximity to where i'm doing this tv interview later today and so on yesterday's show i was pretty down on this place but it's funny because i don't know if i'm just like i'm in a better mood now 20 minutes after we stop talking or what but i like i looked around i thought okay first of all they gave me a nice room and when i came into the room last night i forgot about this they had there was a card for me and some chocolates and a bottle of spring water gratis i don't know why they did that i don't even think this is part of the bonvoy universe maybe it is and i didn't know it and maybe that's what they're doing for us special people but that was a nice touch i came into the room and there was a card with me and i left that out of yesterday's discussion because i was so focused on the cold shower and the non-working phones you're you were all cranky anchors as we i was all i was i was i was i was cranky yandy yesterday and and also you know what not only do they give me a um a beautiful a glass bottle of evian but um also by the bed there were two cans of san benedetto natural water product of italy So they gave me three very generous servings of free water, which is nice, these chocolates, which I haven't eaten, but I'm going to throw them in the bag, a card. The view from this room is actually very lovely. I'm looking out on sort of I'm on the ridge that is sunset. So I'm looking off on, I guess, I don't know, West Hollywood maybe or something. It's got a really nice view. and um i just think i was i just think i was a little bit i i was it was a little bit unnecessarily cruel earlier about this hotel the other thing that happened was because we are recording a couple of episodes today i have to stay in the hotel room a little later than the checkout time and because this is not a i don't think this is part of the bonvoy universe if i'm in the bonvoy verse they'll let me stay in the hotel for four extra days it's crazy like they literally will let me stay till 4 p.m. anytime it's a major perk but this is not that and so last night when i was checking in and the nice person at the front desk was alerting me to the fact that the the taco stand of my of of your of my personal history is now a parking lot with a

billboard in it made more financial sense than luke's memories anyway at the same time i said to this person i said hey what's the latest check that i can get

And they said, well, check out's at noon. And she said, you know, they can sometimes do 1230. And I said, how about one? Because I knew you and I would be recording. And she said, you got to call down tomorrow and ask. I said, OK. So after you and I hung up from the Monday episode, I realized I had never actually.

Oh, that sounds so much better. Was that a, was that, I didn't want to ask. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't want to ask at the beginning. No, it wasn't that big of a deal. And I didn't want to be like, I don't even know if listeners have any idea what we're talking about. But as I'm in here in my little like kind of soundproof little studio and listening with cans very intently, I did notice that there was a louder hum than usual in the room. When I say as usual, it's the rumbling of the air conditioning, which I can go turn off. No, no, it's fine. I shouldn't even have done anything. But it's one of those things where when it went away, it just felt very nice. You know what I'm talking about?

Well, so I realized after we finished the Monday show that I hadn't actually checked in with the front desk. and I did not want it to be the case that we're here trying to record and I've had this happen before. It's happened on the show where I'm in the hotel room far too late and there's just like a kindly housekeeping person that's just waiting there with their cart, sometimes knocking on the door in the middle of the recording and just basically like I'm ruining their day, which is an anxiety that I don't need in my already anxious life. But I don't have any sway here, Andrew, because I'm not, this is not my turf, man. This is not Bonvoy town. Face it, kid. this is not bonvoy town this is mondrian town so i call the front desk and the woman answers the phone and i say to her hey i am was hoping to stay in the room until one i'm recording a radio broadcast which is not totally true but i just figured it would sound a little more important although actually considering the generation podcast is probably a better story and more believable and i said and i'm hoping that i and this is andrew where i reached a fork in the road that i didn't know how forky it was until a minute later now i think compulsive liar would be an overstatement about how i go through the world but let's just say squishy with the truth sometimes would be accurate like i was in this helicopter crash with willie brown once did he have anything to say i saved him i saved his life this is his last words was kamala sucks and i was like what a weird thing to yell as the helicopter's going down very very

strange yeah a little bit of brian williams mixed with donald trump in that one i love it good point

here's the key don't get in a helicopter not good for the career right yeah uh ryan seacrest and i are going to take a helicopter out over nice san fernando valley later um so usually my move would be in this case to slightly exaggerate and say to the person i'm talking to on the phone hi i was told that i'll be able to stay in the room until 1 p.m which i wasn't told that right like but sometimes if you say it like that then the person feels like well we've already lost this battle. It's someone else's problem. And this person now is expecting this. So I'm just going to let it ride because, you know, and that's not the truth. And it's probably not a good way to be in the world, but I will admit to having done that many times in my life. For some reason, as we used to say in the church, a still small voice stopped me. And I said, now this is a part I kind of regret because I couldn't remember the name of the person from the night before, the person who checked me in and so i said i said she i said last night when i was checking in she told me that i needed to call back this morning and see if i could do it she said it was a maybe which is the exact honest answer right like and i don't usually do that again i regret using the word she i don't like using that for people or he just but i couldn't remember the name of the person and there's kind of a long pause and the woman goes she is me oh okay oh well good oh i

see what you're saying yeah good thing you didn't lie right yeah yeah and when you say she is me you said it there in a very sort of stark way but she i assume it was a good humored oh she is it was

it was good humored yeah good she sort of laughed she is me mr burbank nice and it's no problem you can stay until one do you know how close i was to lying to the person who had it had never occurred to me that someone might both work at the night shift and the day shift at this hotel yeah also

So, yeah, think about that. Also, the fact that she was in good humor after pulling a double shift or whatever she's doing good on her. Whatever it is.

And I don't know why it is. I honestly can't explain to you why I didn't lie in that scenario. I'm more likely to lie there or fudge the truth than I am to just say what actually happened was I talked to the person last night. They said I needed a call. They said it was a maybe. And aren't I lucky that the person that I was that I didn't try to lie to the person who had. And by the way, I go on about this a lot when I'm in L.A. I think she remembered me because my last name is weird in Los Angeles, you know, having the last name Burbank. She said, oh, Mr. Burbank. She like recognized my name, I think, because of its. kind of not being typical thing and us being in southern cal so like i think the chances of her forgetting that she had talked to some dude named burbank last night and now he's calling which she had instructed him to do but now he's lying and saying that she told him it was fine like i could

be doing this show from the parking lot right now my friend yeah she could have 86'd you um and i and i honestly wouldn't have blamed her so is this is this the turning point you're not a liar anymore

It's the, no, oh, no. For me, no, but with my relationship with Mondrian, yes.

Oh, oh, oh, I thought maybe you were never going to lie again because you learned a very valuable lesson here.

Cool it, Aesop. Show title? Yeah, sure. No, no, no, no. Nothing about how people say to me, Luke, are you going to be nicer? Are you going to tell the truth more? I'm going to tell the truth less.

And they ask me, do you eat cookies before you go to bed? And I say, of course I do.

tears in their eyes they asked me you're gonna stop lying to hotel front desk people no but what i'm not even kidding and this is this as i've often said on the show andrew the future is not written okay um at the when this person at the front desk whose name was kai by the way i remembered it right after i hung up and i was like dang it but after kai at the front desk was very nice to me and allowed me to stay here till one i swear to god i looked around this hotel room with different eyes. I looked at the free water they had given me. I remembered the card. Now, was it handwritten? No. It's just something that they put in the room to be nice to you, but whatever. I gazed out at beautiful Los Angeles, California. I saw people making their way down Sunset Avenue, enjoying themselves. And I swear to God, I felt totally differently about this hotel based on that one conversation. And now I feel bad about what a sourpuss I was yesterday.

And it also should be noted that you've had several martinis in the 20 minutes since we last talked.

Yes, to get the shakes down.

That might have also changed your perspective a little bit.

It has definitely improved my mood.

Sure, sure, absolutely.

But now the problem is, here's the issue, Andrew. Now that I'm adjusting to this Mondrian lifestyle, now I don't want to leave. I'm looking out my window and I see there's the swimming pool. and I can see people out there without a care in the world, without a Seacrest to interview, without a red-eyed in Nashville to take, without a cloud accounting software conference to host for the next three days. Like, I'm so jealous of the people who are just chilling by the swimming pool with what it would seem to me to be not a care in the world. And now that I have to go when we're done with this and go live my real life and be in airports and be doing somewhat high-stress things. I want to live here now. I went from hating this place to never wanting to leave it.

Can I say something that is outwardly rude to you, and there's no need for me to say it at all, but I can't seem to hold my tongue here. I don't think I realize that the conference that you're hosting is a cloud computing conference of some sort. It's a cloud accounting software, Andrew. I literally can't think of anybody who's worse at the cloud than you are. Like, you are the epitome of Do not tell the people Or 1976 Bill Gates And then Microsoft Wouldn't it be great if I could remember my dingus password I mean, that is a very good point You are not able to navigate the Google Cloud Well, the irony is

You know this came together because of a 10

Oh, you mentioned that, but I forgot

There is a 10 I'm being a little I'm being ever so slightly vague Because I just don't know I've probably, you know I don't know if I've signed an NDA, but just in case, I want to be careful. But a 10 recommended me to the folks that were putting this big thing together in Nashville. And it's a pretty important job. And there's a lot of qualified people that could do the job. And when this 10 reached out, I thought, well, that seems like it could be fun. I would do that. But I just didn't really imagine it would come together. And it did. So this is somebody who listens to or somebody who's going to be there actually listens to tbtl and will be hearing this but funny part is i was on a conference call with this 10 the other day and i said i'm pretty surprised this came together and she said i am too wow a lot of people giving you some truth bombs this week i'm here for it i'm here for it um no you're you're very right i am not personally great with well it's really it's the part of the cloud that bedevils me the most is the google the world of google and google docs And it's because I have so many different logins and they have different – I don't know how to bring them all together. I don't know how to just have one login to rule them all. And part of the issue is when people invite me to things like Google Docs, they're often using like my TBTL account or another account that I have that's my personal account. But because of the vagaries of Apple computing, sometimes it comes out one way. it comes out another way and so i find myself often trying to log into a google doc and either not having permission to edit it or not even be able to get in because of the particular device i'm on and is that unique to me because it doesn't seem like you have a problem with it it doesn't seem like anyone at livewire has a problem with it it seems like i'm the only one who has this issue

what somebody should do is make you a little like screen share video showing you how to log into all your various google accounts and then how to easily navigate between them wait a second i did that for you do you even remember that i did that for you i thought you were a hacker i thought you were trying to hack in it is so i mean i mean once you get used to it and i've been using the system for a long time but yeah like i so i have a google account for well i have a personal google account nobody hacked me uh our tbtl emails through google now i have one for after these messages spotless i got about five or six or all our various uh youtube channels for t like the general tbtl one So I have a whole bunch, but it's, I just think that Google does such a good job, especially if you use the Chrome browser, um, which I think you use, you, all you have to do is drop down on the right hand side. I need to make Chrome my default. Yeah. Maybe that's a big part of it. That's a big part of it. And so you can just like drop down and say, who are, who are you using this as? Are you using this as Andrew or TBTL Andrew or the TBTL main account or whatever? I, I feel like they've set it up very, um, cleanly once you kind of know how to, how to do that. So, um, I would, so anyway, well now I'm just dunking on you though. I didn't, I just needed to. It was kind of funny, though. I was picturing you getting up there and doing a total Steve Bruhl. Like, wouldn't it be great if I could remember my dingus password? Like, that's how you could open the presentation.

That would be so high concept. It would just, like, crazy hair, the glasses. It's just a full-on Steve Bruhl. Like, how long would it take before they got the shepherd's hook?

Somewhere between Steve Bruhl and Shingy, which I'm saying that very slowly and deliberately now because I got several. Were we saying it wrong the other day? No, no, I think we're saying it right. But when you say it quickly, a lot of – let me put it this way. There are – in our audience, there are many more people who are familiar with the artistic ways of the hip-hop artist Chingy than they are with the futurist who was hot for a few years in the mid-2000s named Chingy. And so when you start talking about Chingy, as people heard it, Chingy being a futurist, some people's minds were absolutely blown until we finally played the tape of tech futurist Chingy. And they realized, oh, these are two different people. This is not one person who contains this amount of multitudes.

This is not the man behind the song Right There. Right, exactly. You know, everything's coming back to Los Angeles because I remember when I moved down here, I had never heard of a Chingy, and now I'm speaking of the rapper. And I remember, like, again, maybe I'm just forest bathing in nostalgia right now, but I remember driving down Sunset and seeing a huge billboard for Chingy and thinking, what is a Chingy? Because I just didn't know that song yet. And I'm looking at this, that song, Right There, came out in 2003, which had been right about when I was getting down here. That makes sense. So there you go.

I love LA Billboard culture. It actually had a disproportionate impact on my decision to move to LA. I think I've told you this before, but when I was applying for a job down there for KCRW, which I did eventually take, I remember doing the first interview via, it was pre-Zoom, I think. i think it was um skype that is something has anybody done that i mean somebody must have done that story right like skype was the only service it was like brand name like almost like google like it was a verb you would skype with someone they had a complete corner on that market and then suddenly the pandemic hits and nobody's using skype everybody's using zoom i don't understand how microsoft messed uh that up so badly but uh i remember having a i call it the leon let

uh letification which is leon let was a i think he was a dallas defensive lineman who famously like picked up a fumble and ran it like 75 yards and started celebrating on the one yard line before i think it was don bb was the receiver for buffalo who knocked it out of his hand at the one that was basically skype yeah you are at the one yard line you have built this whole thing and now we all have to talk to each other on our computers how did you fumble that at the one understand it

it almost makes you feel bad for them but um all of that is to say uh i had an interview for this job in la but the first one was remote via skype at the time and uh i remember and then they invited me to come do the interview in person i remember thinking like i really don't think this is the right job for me right now it just didn't see i was like i was hosting a show in seattle i loved Seattle but I was like but I'm gonna see it through and I definitely was not taking it as like oh free trip trip to LA that's not exactly how how it works interviewing for jobs is a very stressful experience for me but I felt like well I need to see it through and there was something about landing in LA and driving from the airport to the hotel I was staying at and just sort of seeing all the billboards for like TV and for your consideration and movies and everything and it's just sort of like immediately hit me that it's like one of the things I like about moving to a new place is sort of just like an immediate hit of new culture whether that was like when I moved from you know the suburbs of Ohio to uh New England and just like there were just like so many things that were just like ingrained that somebody who grew up in New England wouldn't even notice some of the differences that were so ingrained and something about me going from Seattle and landing in LA and just like looking at all the billboards and being like this is so just cool and not even like oh I'm really into movies and television and I want to make it in pictures it was just like i just was like oh it just sort of has a work in town vibe to it and that work is pictures for the silver screen and i don't know and there was something about that i remember like before my interview i'm like you know what and i also think it was that um hip-hop station which is now very common but it's the first time that i think i was in a market where we were driving or yes it was literally k-day it was like a retro hip-hop station um that focused on like 90s mostly kind of west coast but not exclusively i'm sure there's plenty of biggie representation on it and i was just like i don't know man i'm just like in these moments that i'm in the car right now i feel like if i'm offered the chance to explore this culture

i should do it you're basically saying you hopped off the plane at lax with a dream in your card welcome to the land of fame excess am i going to fit in that's jumped in the cab here i am for the first time look to my right and i see the hollywood sign this is all so crazy everybody seems so

famous and the important thing is that there is no appropriation in my thoughts there at all

like the thing about party in the usa as a song is first of all it slaps it's a very very catchy song i do have issues with the the truthiness of it because miley cyrus did not fall out of a coconut tree and land in los angeles miley cyrus was very famous and lived in los angeles like it's a weird it's a sort of it's a much like trump tweeting that joe biden is going to show up at the convention and take his nomination back it's it's it's fanfic it's a made-up story because none of it squares with miley cyrus's life to believe this song is to believe that miley cyrus leaves nashville comes to la at say like 18 19 is nervous everywhere she goes is not famous and is overwhelmed um but then a jay-z song is on a jay-z song is on and none of that scans with her lived experience and i feel again i like miley cyrus a lot like i think she's unbelievably talented and i love her music but i kind of think it's weird that we're i mean she was in a thing

called hannah montana yeah right no that is really i hadn't thought it's funny you must have mentioned that before but i don't remember that that is a really good point um i uh do you and i share this I know that you and I had several sort of like musical connections that I think we both held before we knew each other and then we connected on them. And I can't remember if this is one of them, but like you are familiar with and a fan of the bash up of Party in the USA and Party in Bullshit by Biggie, right? Yes. Yes. That is like when I think of that song, I think of Party in Bullshit in the USA first. And I have to remember that there's a version without the Party in Bullshit version.

That happens to me with every song that Girl Talk mashes up, is that just, of course, it becomes that other song. Here's the thing about Billboard culture in L.A., and I know I've said this many times on the show, but as I look out this window and I see that there's a big, like, basically a four-year consideration for only murderers in the building.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

You know, it's like they're putting it out there so that, you know, it will be nominated for, I guess, Emmys or something. What's interesting is they're using the New Yorker font, and I was wondering, can you do that? Does the New Yorker own that font? Oh, that's interesting.

Some people do own fonts. I've been following more and more font accounts. We're going to talk Garamond later. No joke. I'm going to send you one of these. Do I end? At one point, we have to add this to the TBTL bingo card. When Andrew says, I'm going to send you the link to this Instagram feed. I just want your Instagram feed to mirror mine exactly. But I just started. I'm looking for what I would love to shout it out, but I can't remember what it was. But I follow various sort of design accounts on Instagram. And so, therefore, the algorithm is sort of like kind of adjusting for me. And it must have suggested or somebody maybe retweeted or whatever the hell you call it, something from a font account. There's like somebody who makes handmade fonts. He's a designer. And actually, you know what? I think it was even a promoted like he paid for it. It was like an ad that popped up. And I'm like, oh, my God, I love this. And now I'm getting more and more just like font related, like handmade font related material in Instagram. I

love it i think you would really like it too no joke i think the new yorker font is my favorite font oh really maybe just because what it represents in my mind or something like i just find it very very comforting and it reminds me of well this is a joke that is to the side i still haven't even gotten into my retreading my billboard conversation here but uh in the movie um who's harry crumb starring john candy which i watched probably a hundred times as a kid oh i've never He says some sort of like silly fact or whatever And I think somebody says to him sarcastically Well aren't you a font of knowledge And he goes yes I'm font of many things And I don't know I thought that was the funniest joke when I was a kid But the thing with billboards I don't even get it

I don't think I get it I'm a font

I think he's just misunderstanding He's thinking fond When the person that got a font of knowledge He thought that I said fond Oh I'm font of many things

Oh I see I'm font of many things Okay yeah yeah

I find it so interesting How Practically every billboard in Los Angeles Is for a movie or TV show And I can't imagine that it moves the needle In terms of viewership Enough to justify that My theory is it is so Tom Cruise When he is driving around Feels like the studio is doing their part And they can expand that to everybody else who's famous Like it cannot be the case That you need to tell everyone in Los Angeles Now I understand the for your consideration thing because this is where the people who make those decisions live but just the general the over indexing of like movie billboards in LA is crazy and you can't tell me it's just because that's going to get that many more people to see Fast Furious 10 I think it's so Vin Diesel feels good about himself when he's driving down the street that is my theory about why there are so many movie billboards in LA more than anywhere else I've

ever been interesting yeah I don't you know Tom Cruise does his own billboards oh god did you watch him jump into the stadium i know he came and i can't even okay now now hold on now now hold your horses sir that was the most partner this is how a radio professional talks oh god

did you see i came and talked about the hair dad when are we gonna get this show down to just being

dr cat i'm just mumbling about something i don't want to talk about on the show where i'm supposed

to talk about things i had a thought about this actually um okay so i'm sure many of you saw this tom cruise i didn't know that this was actually part of and who knows historically if it is but there's a sort of a handoff i mean i know obviously the olympic torch it's a whole thing it's handed off but like i didn't realize the closing ceremonies involve the next city

yeah i don't know if it always does or not yeah i just happened to be in a bar where it was on last night but um you mean two nights ago um i'm sorry i mean two nights ago when i still hated my

hotel um so i you know it was like i just saw some headlines because i think i was on an airplane when it happened i saw headlines like tom cruise and i just knew i immediately knew what happened i knew he did something where he was very high up and then he was not high up anymore like i knew it's a flag on his freaking motorcycle and quote unquote arrives to la i already knew it wasn't like tom cruise calmly walks out onto the stage and hands someone something like it's definitely going to be he he's very high and then he's not very high anymore in a matter of seconds okay that being said i i was watching some sort of internet content recently probably on tiktok and the person was doing one of those giant like huge i'll call it a swing but it's not a swing like you know the kind that we would play on as kids it's more like you're strapped into a climbing harness rope okay i don't know if you've ever seen this where they do this out in like you know zion and these like sort of canyon lands where they'll string climbing rope across this like huge you know chasm and then tie another rope on it and then what you can do is you can jump and the ropes will keep you from dying and you swing out over this canyon you're like hundreds and hundreds of feet up in the air and you swing way out and like i've seen this a bunch of times and i always thought like that looks pretty fun i would do that and then the other day i saw a guy who had like a you know a selfie camera like he had you know he had a selfie stick and I or maybe even maybe it was he had a like a GoPro on his helmet what it what happened was I was able to actually experience this from the perspective of the person doing it and I was like no fucking way and I'm not nearly as as sketched out by heights as you are but what I was reminded of was when I did that tree climbing story and I was roped in in a harness and I was safe and I was with professionals and yet when I was 200 feet above the forest floor and I looked down I got so afraid regardless of the fact that I was like strapped in and that there was no reason to think that I was unsafe and something about seeing that swing I was like I don't care that I'm in a harness I don't care that a bunch of people have done it I don't care that it's safe I couldn't get my physical body to do that I could not get my physical body to go from I don't know.

being on the firm ground to being out in space. I couldn't do it. It's too scary for me. And anyway, that had me thinking about, I watched the Tom Cruise thing. And it is, I will give him this. It is impressive that he doesn't lock up in those moments because he was way the hell up there in that whatever stadium. He was, you know, like I would have locked up. I'm not saying that we should go see his movie. I mercifully didn't see the motorcycle part because that probably would have pissed me off. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard But I guess I will just give him this much credit There was a point where they were like The lights are going on Now you gotta jump off this thing There is no room for you to lock up here And he did not lock up

Yeah, no, I mean, I definitely couldn't do it But I'm also like But also maybe just don't do it Like, I don't know I'm just such a I don't know why I got sort of a bug up my butt about It was probably those spiders that crawled up there When I was a kid Yeah, you really should talk to someone about that Laid eggs in my gutty works is is canon um but uh yeah I don't know why it irritated me so much I mean it was sort of a mix of my um I don't again I don't I don't Genevieve is very anti-Olympics because of the I mean just because the non-Richard Jewell event just that yes exactly I mean all of the I mean I do think that it starts from like kind of a corruption standpoint and what like you know the what what happens when the olympic swings into a city and and and how that affects the the the policies and the infrastructure of that city and let's just say it's not usually a long term thriving yeah sustainable um thing you know i mean just sweep whatever i don't even need to get into it but like i think it starts there for her and just a general disinterest i think if she i mean i think she's even said like if she were more interested in it maybe she would it would be easier for her to turn her eye to to that to that more awful like i do with football sure right and yeah exactly i think that would be a good a good comp and so anyway um so maybe that that like because i don't want to be the person who likes hates the olympics i just think that that's a pretty un i'm not dragging genevieve here again she comes at it honestly but i don't want her i don't want my proximity to her to rub off on me so that i come on my podcast and just say like oh the olympics are stupid when so many people enjoy it in fact i feel like if i were with other people in my life who were really into the olympics i could see myself getting into it as well in the same way that i sort of got into football because you endures and a bunch of people that i was hanging out with when i first moved to seattle were into football you know and because of beastquake and because of beastquake which i watched with you in a room full of people we created our own beastquake

and that shitty uh drunkenly dancing with momo that's right that was in the capitol hill apartment

right that was not pizza mountain pizza mountain i believe was i think on a tube television is that possible did you have a tube television yes that was just before if it was a relative yeah it wasn't even that big but uh it was on an i was so fun it was on an ikea rolly cart in our tiny little favorite sports moments of my life it was really a second bedroom that we used as our living room there was a there was a futon in there that i had spilled flavor grease all over from the szechuan noodles that i had gotten from across the street a couple of months earlier oh they were so good anyway all of that is to say that i like the idea of the camaraderie and the you know like when my friend jessica was visiting seattle i guess it was probably the summer olympics so i can't believe that was already four years ago but like she's really into it and so we went to teddy's i remember and she was like explaining to me like what was important about whatever sport we were watching and like that stuff is addictive like i don't want to be like i don't want to i in all sincerity do not want to like take that joy away from other people having said that i just cannot get into the olympics for whatever whatever reasons around it and like so i might have a and then with my proximity to genevieve i think i have a built-in maybe eye roll anyway and same with same with tom cruise and we're not like an anti tom cruise house genevieve and i will go see whatever the stupid like mission impossible part seven part two that i think is coming out pretty which is literally what they're doing now. Semi-colon. I'm not even joking. Jingle all the doors. They're splitting it up. It's like, oh, you're already a franchise. Anyway, but we'll probably go see that stupid thing. Oh, yeah. Those movies are awesome. Genevieve really likes those movies or whatever. We contain multitudes, but when we saw him standing up on the ledge, and at first I didn't realize it was him. There's also something about whatever he's doing to sort of try to cling to his, the appearance of youth doesn't sit totally right with me either, although people can do whatever. Uncanny, I believe is the term. Yeah. And people can do whatever they want with their bodies, whatever. I'm not Tom Cruise. People know that. But I don't want to be hypocritical on that point. But let's just say it's not for me. And it all just seems very weird and plastic. But then when he jumps down at this like halfway through the flight, then I'm like, oh, God, of course, it's frickin Tom Cruise or somebody in Tom Cruise. It's Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise cosplay, like shooting down from the top of the Coliseum. And I'm like, OK, I'm already eye rolly about it. And I'm kind of pointing at the rest of the table or just having conversations about like actual. things i keep on pointing the tv and saying oh give me an effing break and then he jumps down and then when he goes through the crowd and ends up like getting on a motorcycle just describe

this because i didn't see it but he gets on a motorcycle suddenly a motorcycle is there and

you're because he's holding the olympic flag right he's been granted the olympic flag after

shooting down one of our nation's from the most story athletes exactly and so the point but it had

like very david copperfield and not the dickensian david copperfield but i'm talking about the david copperfield the magician from the make the statue of liberty disappear exactly because he's like wearing leather and he takes the flag and he puts in the back of a motorcycle of course tom cruise does two things he does his own stunts and he rides a motorcycle and then he symbolically rides his motorcycle you know directly on the highway that goes from france to the west coast of the united states and then he like he hands off the flag to somebody else while he changes the hollywood sign so that all the it becomes yes exactly the two o's become five o's in the olympic ring colors and then he's like and of course they show him it's all like you know pre-produced and he's like hanging from the from the i-beams as he's doing something and we know what the big reveal is going to be he's changing the hollywood they wouldn't let me hang from the i-beams when i was on that side well they shouldn't have so anyway i'm sure a lot of people were really pumped about that i don't know if that's always the thing but there was something about the the tom cruisiness of it all and i gotta say before that moment and then you know the then they did have some like oh and then they showed the goddamn red hot chili peppers doing a set and i am i've always been and i don't know why like that's the i'm of that generation i should love the red hot chili peppers i've always had a very strong dislike of the red hot chili peppers Again, not saying that I'm in the right there. More people like them than dislike them, and I'm probably in the wrong. Having said that, it was just this combination of all these things that I found to be so GD cringy. Eventually, Snoop and Dre are out there, and Snoop really won the day with all of his Olympic memery and what have you. So that was a little bit of a bomb. But generally speaking, I was like, oh, I went from having a generally good attitude about the Olympics coming to L.A. It seemed like it'd be like kind of a, you know, nostalgia for the 80s. And, you know, I don't know. I had a generally good feeling about it until I watched this whole handoff ceremony and I realized, oh, God, this is going to be so unrelenting.

This is I'm already dreading this. It's all going to be filmed at Mondrian.

Yes, it is. I am so sorry. I am. I honestly like everything I just said is honestly me and the feelings I have. And I know that I'm going to see on social media or something saying you can't just say don't yuck my yum and then spend an hour yucking my yum or whatever. And like, I just want people to know, like, I'm trying to be honest and talk to my buddy Luke about this stuff. But in all honesty, I am I swear I am not saying this to try to steal joy or to make it sound like I am right about any of my absolutely negative attitudes about this shit. It just is where I am right now on this Tuesday morning.

Yes, exactly. After you've decided you love your hotel. once again um no i appreciate that and i i hear you i think what what i hear you saying is it's because it's in los angeles it is going to end up kind of centering a lot of stuff that really you weren't that into when you lived in los angeles or honestly when you lived in cleveland or anywhere else like it's it's it's not going to be like they're having the olympics in brooklyn and the hold steady is going to be the official band it's like it's going to be the most mainstream american pop culture uh and kind of just like most easily digestible stuff that's going to be really highlighted because that's the stuff that's most broadly appealing and that's generally not the stuff that you and i like kind of line up for because we're cool edgy young 48 year olds who are weeping quietly because our taco stand is now a parking lot is now a billboard for hey you know what this young cool guy got some special treatment at the airport on saturday i mentioned this on yesterday's show i didn't get to it but i just wanted to tell you i didn't think this was possible i think that the the gate agent she just straight up put me in first class to be nice to me which i i thought that was an an un-possibility because of how computerized everything because there's a waiting list because people you know those of us that spend too much time in airports are obsessed with where we are on the upgrade list it's like you the idea i've said this on the show many times but this idea that you can walk up to the gate agent and just kind of like sweet talk them and they'll just like put you in first class it's like that's just not a thing because it's everything is too computerized and tracked they literally can't do that except i think they did it on saturday i was at sfo i was flying home briefly and it was a weird thing i was like on the list to be upgraded and then suddenly i just wasn't

wasn't on the list and usually what that means is oh it's gone through I've been upgraded and I wasn't upgraded I was just not on the list anymore and I went up and I was talking to the person at the gate uh gate agent who was much younger than I very different generation very different vibe kind of you know like and I was I was in a little bit I was I was having a I was having a moment because I had I'm not proud of this Andrew in fact I had meant to not bring this up and now I'm bringing it up. I went to this restaurant. I got to SFO. I was really, really hungry. And I had, I thought just enough time before my flight to get like a little, um, like grilled cheese sandwich or something from this diner replace. And when I was going and I asked the person who seated me, I go, how long does it take? If I go, I have about 20 minutes before my flight boards. And they said, Oh yeah, it's like 15 minutes for everything. I was like, great. So I sit down And the waitress comes over And I get a Diet Pepsi And I order like a grilled cheese sandwich And like tomato soup thing And the people next to me order It's like a father and son And the people to my other side Everyone's ordering at the same time They might have ordered before me But we're all ordering in the same Like one minute of time And I'm hangry I'm a little edgy I'm hungry I really want this food And I'm waiting and everyone else is getting their food and everyone else is eating their food and now everyone else is done with their food. And I keep looking back and I do not think this was the server's fault necessarily, but I just kept saying, if two more minutes go by, I'm just leaving. And by the way, I had consumed a diet, I think it was actually Diet Pepsi.

Had you paid in advance or is this one of the places where you're gonna get table service? I had not paid in advance,

but I kept just telling myself like, I'll give it two more minutes. And then I was regretting the whole order because also by the way, it wasn't cheap. i i looked this is gonna be like i got a salad too this whole thing by the way salad like that seems like that could come out pretty fast the whole thing this was gonna run me like 27 or something and i'm kind of regretting it because i might get food on the plane if i get upgraded or

i could just you know like and if it comes out even and you're gonna have to wolf it down like with every minute that passes the the faster you're gonna have to eat this shit exactly and

i'm getting really stressed out uh and again this is mostly just because i was hungry and And, and, and because all the people around me had now finished their food. And I w my big thing was, I was like, don't, if you decide to leave, do not be rude to the server because this is not her fault. And I just don't want to be that way in the world. So finally I keep looking back and then someone comes out with food from behind the, like from the kitchen. I'm like, okay, okay. And then they just walk right past me and they go to some further table. And I was like, that's it. I like snapped. I like stand up and like I walk up to the server or I'm walking out and I don't I don't know why I felt the need to to say this but I just said everyone around me has eaten and now they're done and my flight is taking off and I just don't know what to do and so I just give her five dollars I don't know how much the soda was I hope that covered it at an airport you never know and she just looks kind of flummoxed and I just like kind of I sort of stamped out it was pretty stampy honestly and i feel bad about it because i don't think although it also could have been her fault like she might have not entered the order correctly or something i don't know where this thing broke down but anyway so that was happening as i was stamping my way over now to the gate to find out like what is going on with um what's going on with my uh with me not being on the upgrade list anymore and this this um a person i actually don't know the pronouns they use but this person at the at the gate was like trying to fix it in the system and couldn't fix it and couldn't fix it and was just kind of like yeah i don't know and again i'm already kind of like ticked off about the food i still haven't eaten i'm like and you're probably also a little if

you're like me at all you're also a little embarrassed because you it brought out the the side of you that you don't like but you couldn't contain in that moment that i was

trying to talk myself out of for 14 minutes while i'm waiting for the food just being like don't be just don't be rude about this just and then so then i go and i'm having a new problem with Alaska Airlines because I was on the upgrade list and now that's my only chance at sustenance maybe I get to go to the front of the plane and get a GD cheese box or something so and and there's no explanation and the the person is just kind of like yeah I don't know this is really weird and they're kind of like on the computer they call someone on the like their Alaska Airlines cell phone some hotline to how do I huh and then they're doing the thing where they're just listening and they're typing uh-huh uh-huh how do I uh and then they hang up they're like yeah I don't know and i was so close to just being kind of also a bit stampy with this person but i wasn't andrew much like i didn't lie to the person at the front desk here at mondrian i just was like they were apologetic and i said you know what it's fine it's not your fault it's just it is what it is no problem i somehow and i'm not telling the story because i want to be like go luke it's just somewhere deep inside me i i managed to grab onto a branch as i was sliding down this cliff of anger and just I was like I was like

I'm like, you tried. I go, you're not in charge of the computer system, no problem. And I just walk away, and I go, I find a Hudson News. Sadly, it wasn't a Passages.

Passage by Hudson?

I would kill for a Passage by Hudson News. I found some kind of thing. I got a bag of peanuts and some other crap food and a soda.

A thing of candy beans? Circus peanuts? Do you know what that's? Candy beans. There's always, I think it's more than one reference, But I think in season one, maybe, of Arrested Development, you have Michael Bluth, he gets sad, and then the narrator just says, so he went to his car, and he ate a thing of candy beans. And he literally says, ate a thing of candy beans. And I don't even know exactly what candy beans are, but he doesn't say jelly beans.

And not baked beans, those like candy to baked beans.

No, no. It looks almost like, if you look closely, it almost looks like they're candy corn, sort of. But I just always have thought it was so funny that they have, what's his name, Howard, who's the narrator.

Who is the narrator?

Oh, Ron Howard. Ron Howard. The line is literally, so he ate a thing of candy beans.

It was basically me, right?

Yes, yes.

So I go get my candy beans, and I'm just like, why am I flying on a Saturday when I have to fly on next? I'm just like, I was in foul temper. and I walk up and this front desk agent goes oh there you are and I walk over and they just like hand me a paper boarding pass oh I love that move and they said to me I kept you out like something to the effect of like I just took I just pulled you out of the system or something like they friggin toasted the quarterback for me yes and gave me a paper ticket which put me in first class and there were people ahead of me that were supposed to because well part of the conversation had been well there's this party of four that are in front of you on the list and i go yeah but don't if there's one seat and it's me don't i leapfrog them and she said not really i have to ask them

which i'd also never heard of make sure that none of those people none of those single flyers and

none of those people want to start a fight with their family that will none of the people to permanently damage their relationship with the people in their family but um uh and so i you know when i came like basically what this person had done was just like somehow shuffled me through like a side door into this much better experience and gotten me around these these poor blokes whoever this four top was the Dufresnes is anyone looking for the Dufresnes um and I was it was blessed it was a blessed day like it was great I did in fact get a cheese box it was in fact delicious um but I just didn't even think that could happen anymore I didn't think that they could do that and it was I think a result of me not not going with my more base instincts which to be huffy and stampy and just like what i just didn't for some reason and it really really paid

off this worries me though and again not trying to to dunk on you but my concern here is now you've seen that there is a way you always believe that people are withholding on you and then blaming the systems and i do believe that in a lot of those cases the systems really are what they are I mean, as somebody who has been an employee, like, I mean, honestly, that was one of the most trademark things of working at APM.

As someone who has even a tiny respect for systems?

Well, not even – I mean, in this case, maybe a disrespect for, but at least in understanding that, like, at APM, whenever we needed anything that was done that, you know, hadn't already been done by the Splendid Table or Classical 24, it would always just be like, well, we can't do that because the system doesn't allow us to do – the system doesn't allow us to do it. The system isn't built that way because all of the systems were built specifically for the shows that came before or whatever. And like while it was frustrating, I do believe that in a lot of cases it was often true. I mean, ridiculous. It's still a ridiculous answer when you're trying to modernize something or like, well, let's change the system. Let's have the systems serve us. Let us not. My podcast was not built to serve your system. I believe your system was here to support the podcast.

Our tail will not wag that.

Yeah, but having said that, this whole experience concerns me because the next time that you are in a situation and somebody says there's literally nothing I can do, you will think, ah, but you could just quarterback the toast me the way that person did on Saturday.

Listen, if what has happened for me, Andrew, in a Paul-esque transformation, if what I've learned is just being nice to people might pay off. If I just go around the world being nice to people in the hopes that it'll pay off, I don't think that's a bad outcome.

No, that's a good idea. The key is be nice to people because it might come back to help you in the long run. That's what they teach in the Bible.

How do you say everyone else has already eaten in Italian?

Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, speaking of your upcoming trip to Italy, let's see here. We're kind of running a little bit low on time here.

i'll make this quick but i want to circle back to a conversation that we sort of had twice last week which was about your footwear weird thing that i would want to bring up again because there are a few things i would like to talk about less than feet and your footwear but you were talking about like i've got an update and it sounds like you i think already purchased some tevas and i got some note from somebody who was like deep in the teva community who said please i love you guys stop calling them tevas they're pronounced tevas and i gotta be honest with you with that person like i kind of like don't care that much like i understand that well didn't i say that i've heard they're called Tevas you did say that and I continue to call them Tevas because I've heard them called Tevas my entire life and it's in like I don't I don't I don't have so much respect for a strap-on shoe that I feel like I must change my ways for it um so the thing that I call Tevas okay so anyway you bought these things but also I had sort of alluded to like well I was surprised that you weren't like sort of going to get something sort of like kind of nicer footwear and somebody wrote in to say hey you're going to Italy isn't there a chance that you'll arrive in italy and then want to do some nice fine italian shopping and gets a nice pair of italian uh sandals

i don't see myself as a nice italian sandals guy just because i really need to wear socks with shoes or those shoes need to be disposable like these tevas yeah i'm dealing with so but a couple things one i've actually been calming myself you know i'm not a nervous traveler but because when i left my house on sunday it was like okay i'm gonna be in uh los angeles and then i'm going to nashville and then i'm going to italia and then i'm going to paris on the way home just in time for the olympics um and and i kept being like i kept kind of getting kind of hung up on like i need to have everything and then i thought eventually i'd calmed myself by saying or i could buy socks in italy yes or nashville like you can i can buy socks i can buy underwear Like, most of these things, if I really, I mean, the main thing I have to have is this microphone equipment, the computer, because I'm going to be working on this Ryan Seacrest story. Like, basically, other stuff can be replaced. And also, Italy is a great place to replace things. You know, there are two items of clothing that I purchased in Italy, Andrew, 25 years ago. One of them is with me in this hotel room. It's a sweater that I got in Italy. that I gave to Becca and then repossessed because I was like, wait, I didn't mean that. I actually really knew that sweater back because I love it so much. It's like a real Mr. Rogers number. And then I have this like a kind of a blazer, I guess, a wool blazer that I bought in like the airport in Italy. And it's, they are two of my favorite items of clothing I've ever owned. So yes, I should do some shopping in Italy because historically I've really liked the stuff that I got from there. And maybe even there will be some handsome sandals of some kind. I ended up going with these Tevas, and here is the problem. They came in the mail. They're $24, which is very cheap, I thought, and I put them on, and I took a picture, and I sent a picture to Becca, and I said, important question, are you slash Italy ready for this kind of footwear? And the thing about Becca is that she is so, so gentle with my fragile ego. She is so supportive and sweet and just just basically like, you know, acts like I hung the moon, which I'm so fortunate that that's how my life is.

It's anything short is hanged the moon, actually.

And anything short of anything short of like, oh, my God, those look so unbelievably sexy on you is going to hurt. And I said, are you ready for this kind of footwear? And the response was, I mean, I have to be right. that's that's rough stuff coming from this person who is unbelievably generous with the compliments and with the supporting me i mean i have to be right is not a ringing endorsement well what i

find interesting is that you said you're taking your microphone and computer over there to italy what are you doing if you don't mind me asking on oh let's see here tuesday the 27th i'm looking

for a co-host it just depends on um you know uh what the how the wi-fi is at um in sorrento

um i do like the idea though i'm picturing you on an italian shopping spree that is like a montage

i'm but a humble podcaster so you know i don't know what the prices are over there but i will tell you that yeah that the one time i went on an italian shopping montage of buying two things i love both of those things to this day so um so yeah i mean i hopefully will score and what i need to find is this exact sweater buy it again and then give becca back the one that i repossessed

oh yeah see if you're gonna find 25 years ago they'll be like it was a it's a billboard now sir Yeah.

That store is a billboard.

Can I stay here until 1 p.m., please? All right. I guess probably we should wrap things up. I will, believe it or not, actually be in Nashville tomorrow for the show. That will really happen. Looking forward to that. I will have a big update. Good luck on your flight. I'll tell you how my Steve Bruhl homage went day one.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. That way, okay, yeah. So I didn't realize that that will be something that you can already talk about by then. And I have the timeline all messed up, but also you'll have interviewed Ryan Seacrest for a second time.

I'll have a Ryan Seacrest interview to talk about. I'll have a red eye to talk about. Will I be able to sleep on the flight at all, which is not something historically I'm very good at. So, anyway, much to discuss tomorrow from Nashville. So, please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. Power out.