Muse

I will come to your house. I will go to your refrigerator. I will take your butter out of your fridge. I will eat the butter in front of you and your family's eyes. and i i force you to watch me while i eat all your butter you will beg and cry and say no don't eat all our butter we need for christmas i will say haha not my problem and take the empty bottle i will throw it on the stairway i will go home T-B-T-L

Guess what day it is Guess what day it is It's Friday, Friday Gonna get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend For $20 I can tell you a lot of things For $30 I can tell you more And for $50 I can tell you everything

It's kind of weird, I feel like I'm being interrogated but by someone who doesn't really want to know anything important for the sake of customer service try to chill out my mom oh my god man we have seen some we ain't never seen before well all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a friday edition of tbtl the show it just might be too beautiful to live as lord's machine says the dog days are over my name is This is Luke Burbank. I am your host. It's an audiophiles nightmare. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia on this Friday. That's another warm one. I'm flying in hot for that hottie. But we are not going to let that stop us from bringing you episode 4,288 in a collector's series.

Let the fun begin.

The final day of the TBTL travel guide, Curing Lonely Planetness. Motors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. Today, we make a brief stop in Iceland.

You're as cold as ice, willing to shag your flight.

And I just want to level set. I want to get out in front of some things. I want to say, if you're listening in Iceland right now, you may want to skip this episode of the show. If you are a fan of Iceland, if you don't want to hear anyone maybe besmirching this sleet-filled rock of a country, this may not be the episode for you. But if you love that stuff, this might very much be the episode of TBTL for you. Speaking of international travel, check this guy out. He's the longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He is about to go to Croatia. This sunny guy always worries. We're going to hear how he's doing with all of that a little later in the show. First, let's introduce him. He's Andrew Walsh. He's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

I have a question for you. Did you swap a drop between our sound check and the actual intro that you just did? Not that I remember. The Star Trek one, that's how you edited it? Yeah. Okay, I'm going out of my mind. I've done this now two days in a row. My apologies. I thought I heard you doing something interesting during sound check. You said, I want to play this drop, and it was a longer version of that Star Trek drop.

You want to hear the unedited version?

Yeah, it begins with that's a logical ensign, right?

Yeah, because here's the thing. I don't have very many drops about travel, so I was searching for travel in my system, and I found this drop. It's obviously Leonard Nimoy. I think it's pronounced Leonard Teva. Have you heard people say it's Namoi?

Oh, maybe. Maybe you've told me that. I don't clutter my head with such nonsense. It's good. It's Spock.

And so I just wanted the part where he's saying travel. He's saying the word travel. So I cut it down to be this. Motors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. But, of course, the full unedited version, I think it's actually got, like, It's even got maybe, who's, not Scotty, who was, Chekhov maybe?

Okay, sure, yeah.

So let's see. Here's the full version. I just thought this was going to muddy the waters a little bit. Here's the full version. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. Sorry, that's not what that is. I'm trying to revert to the original. Here we go. That is illogical, Ensign. Odors cannot travel through the vacuum of space. I was making a little joke, sir. Extremely little, Ensign. Wow.

Oh, cold. Talk about cold. Serious. You got roasted. That's as cold as Greenland. It sure is. Iceland, but okay. No, isn't Greenland the cold one and Iceland isn't as cold? I thought that was always like one of those misnomers that everybody likes to talk about.

pretty cold when i was there um but uh i was okay okay um i'll just finish this up i i thought i thought you were doing something actually ironically or aptly illogical when you played that during soundcheck i'm like oh i'll bet you grabbed that because you were looking for things that had travel in it and that popped up but then you're like i don't want to play the whole thing i'm going to make an edit and i thought it was curious because i thought you made the edit so that you were just taking the beginning of it not the part that said travel i thought is illogical I thought you just kept the part that said, that is illogical, Ensign. I'm like, what a weird decision there, but I'll just let it roll. And then I thought I heard something different in the actual intro of the show. But, again, I mean, this just goes back to I'm losing my mind. I'm half a short timers. That's right. Syndrome. That's right.

Because you're going to be leaving for your big trip. I've got senioritis. I do want to hear about that. First, though, I need to just take a moment to warn everyone. because, of course, oh, you know what? I forgot to write an Iceland song about it.

You're now saying that you're writing it. I know, right? Oh, I forgot to compose my own song about...

Oh, no. You know what? I'm sorry. Forgive me here. I am going to try to, on the fly, see if I can sign in to this program. Ooh, you're going to actually create it. I'm trying to, but the problem is I'm logged in on my other computer in the house.

Oh, into that thing here. I have a music generator here.

Can you log into Suno or something like it, Can you ask it to please write a song in the style of the Icelandic airport? A song? Let's see what it comes up with.

In the style? The kind of song you might hear if you're at the airport in Iceland. I am using something called Udio, I believe.

Udios cannot travel through the vacuum of space, Andrew. That is illogical.

Udio, I feel like we have done this before. it says it needs me to sign up but i feel like i've already signed i feel like i've already done this before and this is going to be a real problem here luke me trying to create this i believe on the fly oh good i'm glad you got two-factor authentication so that i can make a

bullshit song you don't want someone udo-ing something under someone else's name gee thank

you so much create your profile dreamy woodblock 57 i'm i'm in over my head here luke it's i've I've used this service before, yeah.

Everybody just imagine... You know what, fine, we're just gonna use the French music from yesterday. Okay, there we go. Imagine that there's a French person visiting Iceland, and when you go into the airport, they're singing this for some reason. So here is what happened. And, you know, for instance, our friend, Television's Chris Hayes, I believe, took what looked like an absolutely lovely trip to Iceland with his family recently. And I get the sense that if you go to the right places, and I know Iceland is actually a very popular destination. I'm sure we have lots of listeners who've had wonderful times there, okay? What happened for us was I was, again, trying to just get the cheapest tickets home that I could find. And because I was booking it through the Alaska Airlines thing, but I was also using miles and maybe a little bit of money, but trying to kind of find the most reasonable way to get from Paris to Portland, somehow we ended up on Iceland air. And my thought was, I think of Iceland as being sort of Scandinavian, which I think is probably my first mistake. It's not really Scandinavian. I mean, I don't know, maybe it's technically, but like I thought, I don't know. Things from Scandinavia in my experience are usually like a little nicer than things from America. Does that make sense? Like the design, you know, we talk about Scandinavian.

Style and design, yeah.

Yes, it's something I tend to go towards, the kind of blonde, blonde wood and a little bit like, you know, more uncluttered, the sort of Ikea-fication of things. I know that's Sweden. But I was literally like, my mouse was hovering over, are we going to fly all the way home on Aer Lingus or are we going to fly all, and this is before I'd even been on an Aer Lingus flight. What I had learned there was, that's also a pretty bargain basement kind of airline. But I just didn't know, I didn't, I hadn't been on Iceland Air that I remembered and I didn't know much about it. I didn't know much about Aer Lingus. There was like one flight we could have taken on one of them one on the other somehow i defaulted to i bet you that iceland air is going to be kind of like sleek and scandinavian they might have like nice planes and like even though we're not going to be in first class maybe the i don't know i just i was putting a lot of hope in what i consider to be the scandinavian features of the nation of iceland and what i learned is it's maybe more soviet we first of all it was like i i paid extra money for us to be like kind of at the front of coach so like the you know the the very front row of coach which usually means you have a little more leg room just kind of

of like the bulkhead or something i had paid like a fairly significant upgrade fee because i thought well you know this is a really long flight so first the flight was from paris to reykjavik that's like three and a half hours and then from reykjavik to portland that's like eight hours and i was like for this eight hour flight we're really going to want to be able to like stretch our legs and stuff and try to be even though we're going to be in coach it would be nice if we weren't like in the middle of a big wide row because these international flights i mean you and i have flown to australia there's sometimes that middle row yeah where you're not a window you're not an aisle it's a nightmare so i was like let's i'm gonna splash out and try to get us in at least a little

bit more comfortable seats and coach or whatever can i ask you a question about your flights in general is this the longest flight of your trip or you must have been on a longer flight on the

way out right well the flight uh on the way out was jfk to rome but that was on american airlines

and let me tell you and you were leaving from the east coast that's right leaving from new york

I think it was about eight hours but let me tell you what somehow on American because I also kind of like paid a little more I didn't seem like a lot more but a little more for us to be in like some comfortable coach seats where it was just two of us you know it was just me and Bex and I don't know I don't know what class of service we were in but like they gave us blankets they gave us a whole good night kit they served us like three meals our seats had like footrests we were not in business class but it was like the nicest coach

ticket i've ever been i know those little footrests i haven't like that was great yeah it's interesting you know where you find those footrests on buses i've i think i've had it once on a plane but is it the little metal kind that kind of that they they yeah they're attached to the seat in front of you and it's like it's not a big deal but then you use and you're like oh this is a nice

little footrest yeah right well that'll come up later by the way because um so that was the flight out uh so we go to i so i'm trying to make sure with with iceland air that we have the seats that i've already reserved because i don't know because the app is really weird it's hard to use i can't get anyone on the phone so i'm chatting with them i just like because i paid extra i really want to make sure that like i'm not confused about our seats or like it's not I don't know I was just paranoid because I don't I've never flown on this airline and finally I get the person on chat goes oh if you want to sit In like seats whatever 7F And 7E it's 180 Euros here's the link and I'm like no no no no I already bought these like I already Paid for this and the like person's like I don't know that doesn't it's not Blocked out for you or something and it was all this back and Forth eventually they're like okay I think we got it worked Out but like we get to The air and I'm also constantly you know me I'm trying to upgrade I'm like well can we be an economy are you one world they're like no i don't know what you're talking about i was like are you illuminati they're like yeah are you part of the one world alliance no i swear are you uh part of the reptilian uh hillary clinton led reptilian people that alex jones keeps talking about um so we get to the airport in uh paris and well the first thing is our flight is super late which is stressful because our connection our connection in reykjavik is like an hour and i was actually wrong i thought it was 45 minutes which seemed like madness to me like how are you expecting us to get from one plane to another in 40 like why'd you even let us book this ticket yeah but

i was wrong it was actually like an hour so still though that's about that's about especially for international travel that's about as short of a window or a small of a window as you could

possibly manage more on that in a moment so uh we uh the flight is an hour late getting to paris so i'm pretty freaked out already because like i don't want to like get stuck in in iceland and so um we get on the plane and the first thing is there are like four people on the entire flight like i have paid for us to be in the first row of coach there are people just taking over entire rows of coach and just going to sleep there are like 12 empty seats in first class like i've never been on i haven't been on a flight like this maybe in a long time where it's just like i kept thinking like if this was alaska airlines i would definitely just go sit in first class right now you're right but you know and like what i'm this is where i want to be careful because i don't want to sound mean to an entire nation of people but i my sense based on just my interactions with the folks that worked at iceland air i mean the flight attendants and also the people in the airport at reykjavik was i don't think i people from iceland i don't think mirth is a big part of the personality nationally i don't think jokes go over very well and i don't think it just doesn't seem like a jolly group of people and there's the language you mentioned this also you're talking

about brusqueness in italy you always have to keep in mind that like you're not dealing with

some of it could be language but i will also remind you that i was flipped off by bjork for no reason that wow that goes back a ways when you're living in new york right i was sitting in a restaurant I loved called Shopsin's, RIP.

on Carmine Street, and I was having breakfast, probably blisters on your sisters, which was a thing they made that was delicious, and I look out the window and Björk is getting out of the car, and I committed the crime of looking at her. That was it. I didn't come out and ask for an autograph. I didn't take a picture of her. I didn't give her a thumbs up. I merely observed in my own mind that that was Björk, and she flipped me off and just kept walking. And I thought that was maybe her. I think it might be an Icelandic thing. I've also had a run, and if you think about it, with Sigur Rós.

Well, that's true. They're also Icelandic. You shouldn't have gone here. It was not the country for me. It wasn't. You should have thought about your history with these people. I know.

We should have gone with Aer Lingus. They get me.

Yeah.

A bunch of drunk Irish people. Sure.

Air Albania is really your ticket out of there. If only.

God, you'd probably sit on the outside of the plane.

He can say that.

he's albanian just want to establish that as canon famous albanian behind eliza dushku look it up but anyway so um we get on the flight and i'm kind of bummed because i'm like that was such a waste of money when we could have sat anywhere like that you know i'm talking about that middle aisle thing it's next to us it's totally empty yeah i only had that i mean obviously

your travel experiences are very different than mine but um when i was leaving cleveland whatever my last trip there maybe sometime in the past year um i remember it was the night before my flight home to seattle and what is that maybe a five-hour flight top uh and i remember just thinking like oh i'm gonna be crammed into a seat i'm like i'm you know they really get you they i never thought i'd be an impulse buyer of airplane upgrades but boy by using the app to check in the night before and maybe you've had too many popsicles and you're just feeling really good about things and you're just like you know what i'm just gonna pay the extra like 35 like when i'm booking my tickets i'm like the cheapest person in the world i'm like well i get you know well you're not gonna get me with an extra bag fee i'm booking it with like extreme prejudice And then I'm like, okay, so then I paid for it, and that was like a month before my trip or two weeks before my trip. And now here it is the day before my flight home, and I'm just checking in. They're like, you sure you don't want the extra leg room of the emergency row? Which I still think is like – it's literally an emergency row. They're telling you they need a verbal yes. I mean, honestly, you're having to work if you're in that row. They should pay you. I know you're not actually doing that, but doesn't it really – I just – I don't – I can't balance those two things in my head at the same time. which is like oh this is a special row for special people because you may need we may call you into service but if you want to be called into service we're going to charge you an extra 35 40 bucks

for these seats like well and the thing that i always say on this topic is it is i'm not exaggerating it's the most nervous i get for public speaking yeah right it's a verbal confirmation yes it's because it's so stressful because they're going they're going in line yes yes yes you're like

okay it's almost me yes yes am i gonna put any stank on it yippity do oh god why did i say that

But anyway, I just remember kind of like I do end up impulse buying the upgrade. It's always the night before. And I'm like, ah, shit. Like, I don't feel like getting on that plane tomorrow. And the last time I did that, I upgraded again. $35, $40. Didn't bust the bank. But I get on the plane, and it was almost empty. I mean, not quite as empty as you're describing, but there were so many empty rows. And I could have probably just, like, asked the person, hey, do you mind if I move to that emergency row? I think they need them. They need people on those rows. Probably so, right? They need people on those rows. uh so i'm gonna be you you well so that was part of the problem at the beginning with this whole

flight i don't understand how in back when i bought the ticket somehow it like at some point must have shown me a seat map and i must have picked what seemed like the kind of like slightly better coach seats but i could never get back to any sort of seat map with this iceland air situation which is so weird every other ticket that you book you're looking at the plane you're going like these are the really bad seats these are the good seats they're going to cost you more this is the first class this is prohibitively expensive but you have some sense of like where you fall on this whole kind of spectrum of like comfort i could never get that map working on any of the iceland air website or app or anything so that was probably why i was freaking out i was going in blind and you know me i'm very like i'm very obsessed with making sure that i'm having and becca's having like the best experience we can in these sorts of things so we get on the plane and let me just also mention the when i say there was kind of more like soviet than like scandinavian vibes this was the oldest airplane i'd ever been on in my life even older than the one we took out to australia because i remember that that was literally what i brought up with becca i was like this might be older than the one andrew and i took to australia shout out to quantus for the

free tickets yeah no actually and giving us a row without anybody in between i have no complaints about that flight but i was tempted to use the actual telephone

to call Moscow that was on the back of my seat. I was chain-smoking the entire flight

because I had an ashtray on my thing. But, like, so it was the oldest plane. It was just like, and, like, you know, it was just kind of, it was a little bit dispiriting, but I was like, all right, well, you know, maybe we'll get a better plane for the long flight because this was the short flight. So the flight attendant comes by, and I said, hey, I was just wondering something. I go, we have a very short window of time in Reykjavik To get to our flight I go, we have an hour layover And our flight is an hour late She goes, oh no, no, we're only 15 minutes late Now mind you, we have taken off One hour after we were supposed to take off Which by my lights is an hour late And she goes, oh no, no We were supposed to land there at 2.30 And we land at 2.45 or whatever She goes, like, the flight is not as long as it says And I'm like, I don't know, that doesn't make any sense Like, these things are like, you know Whatever the international version of the FAA is They've got a sense of how long these flights are They're not just like off by an hour And she goes, it's a small airport And you don't even need to worry about it I was like, oh, okay, well that's nice to hear So I'm totally like relieved Whatever we land And the first thing is It is, I want to say When we were on this flight It's like maybe August 31st It's summer still in most places, right? We touched down in Reykjavik it is sleeting sideways it has got to be 32 degrees and sideways sleet now look i'm sure there are some seasons where it's absolutely lovely up there this day did not seem to reflect that and what they've decided to do at the airport in Reykjavik is not have any of those jetways pretty much it seems like the way you get from point a to point b is you get off the plane like freaking Richard Nixon you walk down an outdoor staircase as the sleet just is destroying you and then you get on a shuttle bus which takes you over to the main airport or to the airport itself and you get off the shuttle bus and now you start walking and the terminal was so far away from where they dropped us off this whole idea of like it's a small airport I don't know what this lady was talking about it was not a small airport You should see the big one. Right? You call that an airport? So we're like walking forever. And then I realized, actually, I didn't realize this. I almost went past it. Becca's like, hey, over here, we had to go through Iceland customs. Why do you have to do that if you're not even trying to stay in the country? Why don't you design? And by the way, there was an insane line. Our flight, I'm getting updates on my phone that said your flight is boarding. and we're still like just getting off the first shuttle bus and we're walking and then i see this insane line to get to the d gates and it's the line i'm not even kidding it's the it's longer

than any tsa line i've ever seen probably and it is moving but it's insanely long and everyone in the line is freaking out because we're all we're all late and we're all on different flights and we all have to go through customs in iceland and i'm like build the airport so that if you're just changing planes you don't even ever go into iceland just leave us in like international waters

or something yeah yeah that's that you shouldn't have to if you're just trying and you did not have

checked back no you must have you had that did but they're all going you know they're under the belly of the plane they're going to the other plane it's like i'm not dealing with that right

so you're not dealing with that those are just moving by themselves and probably going through their own customs ritual but you still have to go through customs with your carry-ons yeah i feel

like well they're not they don't search your carry-ons or anything the baggage is kind of the i think unless you have fruit or something it's but it was the most so first of all we're in the line and and and i'm getting these updates on my phone that said your flight is in final boarding and i'm like you gotta be kidding me first of all the lady was the flight attendant was completely wrong about the timing of this we were an hour late it is a huge airport uh it's full of stressed out people that are also worried about missing their flight when we finally and i mean it took forever we get to the person at customs which again i wanted to say i don't even want to be in your stinking country i'm just trying to get to portland i shouldn't have yelled that that was probably bad i feel yeah i feel like that we get the most stern now by the way we went through italy france and ireland went to three different countries and it was just like clunk clunk like just a rubber stamp like okay we're gonna have fun enjoy yourself bonjour this was the most intense interview we did the whole time the the woman was like uh where have you been and we're like uh well europe on

vacation how many days what day did you start your trip i'm like lady i don't know what day it is right now like you're asking the wrong person and then she's looking she goes have you two been traveling together the whole time and i'm like yes and then she's looking at my passport she's looking at becca's passport she's looking at my passport she's just like for like a minute she's just staring at it silently and i'm like she goes did you go through different lines when you were in Rome or something and I was like I think we did because you wait in a line for the passport but it's like whichever one is ready next you just go and like I went to one and Becca went to the other one she's like looking at it like very suspiciously and I'm just like again I don't even want to be here I'm just trying to get on my flight why is this the most intense like interview we've done of all of these things when you can tell that we're literally just going from point A to point B to leave your country

You're literally, I mean, again, so I thought you were going to tell us a story when you first set this up that, like, you spent one day there because you needed to, because of the flight situation. You're like, well, I'm here. I might as well. Your only experience with Iceland is as a way station, as just a Justin Airport connecting flight. It's nothing more than that. That's your entire trip. You're never leaving the airport.

So I can speak from some authority on this country. I think that's what I'm trying to say.

Well, there's that. That's the worst hour of my life. Well, there is that. I feel like we're making between, like, through three very specific things. An interview with Sigur Rós, a breakfast interrupted by Bjork's middle finger, and one day in a Reykjavik airport. Not even a day. We're talking an hour and a half. A couple of hours. And now you've got the book. But none have been a good experience. You've got the book on Iceland. Okay, we'll put that aside. I'm saying it's a trend piece. But in the New York Times. Although I am, I am siding with you, though, on I am. The customs thing. The customs thing is really intense.

And someone's going to email us and say, like, this is international rules. And I think we did have to go through the same thing in Ireland. So, like, I know this is not Iceland specific. I understand it is just the rule, but it's a weird rule to me because it seems like it's very, very avoidable. It seems like you build these airports in such a way that you just route people from the flight they were on to the flight they're getting on, and then they never even have to technically be in your country. It just seems like they'd be so much easier. It's supposed to be a one-world alliance. Thank you. It's supposed to be a shadowy cabal of Illuminati that are running the world.

If the one-world alliance doesn't bring you the ability to have a layover in a country without having to go to it, that's right.

So we finally get through that, and now we're, like, running because, again, I'm getting these updates on my phone that are saying, your flight is in final boarding. And I'm just like, this is madness. We've done everything by the rules here. Your flight was late. We had to go through your silly customs. I'm like, we're now running through the airport. I hate that look. It's very embarrassing to me. But anyway, we're now, like, basically jogging. We get to what I hope is the gate. Guess what it is? Another shuttle bus. Another outdoor walk to a shuttle bus as it's sleeting sideways. Before we can go to yet another airplane that's out on the tarmac. You think if there's one airport where they would really invest in the infrastructure of jetways, you would think it would be Iceland. It just seems like, because we're there during the nice part of the year, I presume. Like, I can't imagine what it's like in January there. Or, I'm sorry, Danuary. Daniel. Janule. Janule Larry. Like, I was, so, okay, we take the bus to the, like, couldn't the first place? First bus have just taken us to the other plate. It just seems like that would have been easier. We got on one bus to go to the thing. Oh, by the way, when we got to what I thought was our gate, which turned out to be yet another shuttle bus, I'm all, like, kind of out of breath. And, honestly, I'm pretty annoyed at this nation now. And there's two gate agents. And the one gate agent is, like, a very humorless dude. And then the other is, like, a very humorless woman. And the humorless woman is standing in exactly the thing. Like, she's standing blocking the thing we're supposed to go through. you can imagine this so there's a like a podium with the the male gate agent and then there's an opening like in the fencing or whatever you want to call it and then the female gate agent is just standing there so first i say to the uh male gate agent i go it's a heck of a system you've got here and he goes he looks at me with a look that says is this a terroristic statement like he doesn't look at me like it doesn't even it isn't even like he's like that's not funny he He looks at me like, what? Like, I just said something like I have a bomb or something. Like, he looked at me like he was about to call security for me saying, this is quite a system you've got here. And then he just, like, looks and goes, what? And I go, nothing, nothing. Like, I didn't even want to get into.

it i was like i'm not trying to get you know kicked off this flight or whatever i give him our tickets or whatever and then he gives them back to me and then beck and i look at each other and we think well this woman is blocking this area so clearly the thing is you have to go around this other side of it so we start to go to the other side of it and they both yell at us no this way i'm like the way that you are blocking like what is happening in this country like you're standing you're you're obstructing the thing we're supposed to go through but then you're mad at us that were was i supposed to bull charge you what i'm already on your list here for saying quite a system you have here so she finally moves like two inches and we we squeeze past her to the second shuttle bus to the airplane which when we board the airplane andrew it's about i don't know 70 000 degrees

so you do make it though so it was so in a certain way like after all of this so i just want to i want to back up and talk about this timeline for a second so you're in the air and you're like i'm backing it up okay so you're getting ready to go on your big trip to europe yes no um so you're in the air and you're like we're gonna be an hour late and the flight attendant says no because of the timing or whatever you're gonna be about 15 minutes late when we land about how late are you actually when the flight lands is it actually is she pretty close it ends up being about 15 minutes off of the scheduled time i don't know exactly the timing

But what I know was when we were – when our airplane had – was yet to stop and let us off the airplane, okay? So we were still on flight number one, taxiing around.

Taxiing around, okay, yeah.

I get an update on my phone that our flight is boarding.

Yes, okay. So you said that, and that's what's been living in my head. And then you – it's done taxiing. Let's add another 10, 15 minutes to get off that plane. You're going through this intense custom situation, the long line. Are you in the airport for another, what, 15? You must be in for another 20 minutes. No, like 45 minutes. 45 minutes.

I think they held the flight because there were so many people.

Okay, gotcha.

But they weren't telling us that. Okay. They weren't saying, like, hey, by the way, don't stress. We're holding your flight. They were sending me updates on my phone. I probably still have them. Like, if I scroll back, they were just sending me updates like, this is final boarding for your flight. Like, your flight is leaving. Like, you live in Iceland now.

And just for the record, you're not on trial here. You will be later if you keep on harassing gate agents. No, I'm just trying to get kind of a sense of this in my mind. So now you're rushing to this area where you're getting – this woman is blocking you. That is not – are these gate agents or is this another shuttle situation? You said that this woman was blocked.

Well, it's gate agents except when you get past them, instead of getting on the plane, you get on another bus.

Another bus that takes you to the foot of an airplane on a tarmac. Takes you to the foot of the airplane on the tarmac. With those things. okay and so you then so when you walk on the plane is it pretty clear that you guys are like the last ones or are there other people who are making everyone on the plane is mad at us because

they think we were just like lollygag and the plane has been sitting there waiting for us truly

that really is because you've had this experience before i think where you're like the last one and ever maybe and usually that's because i'm just being you know lazy or something this was like everybody's watching you two get on it's hot as hell yeah and everyone's just like annoyed because

They've been sitting there probably for an extra 45 minutes or whatever it is, you know, waiting to take off. And now they finally put us on. And the plane is, like, they're, like, not, you know, it's super hot. It was freezing outside, but it's hot on the plane. They're playing, by the way, Bjork, the song Venus as a Boy. And I know this because I shazammed it when we got on the plane. I thought a little on the nose, Icelandair. I had that record. It was a good record. You're playing Bjork on the flight? Okay. We get to our seats. And first of all, there is so it's it's three seats. So there's like the window seat, the middle seat in the aisle. And like, I guess I'm the window and Becca's the middle or whatever we can switch. But we're the we're the the window in the middle. And there is like a very, very humorless. I have to presume Icelandic person woman sitting in the aisle seat. And I get to her and I say, you know, I'm just waiting to like, excuse me, I need to get past you to my seat or whatever. And I don't obviously want to make physical contact with her But she refuses to look up from her book And I swear to God She just kind of glances up at me And glances back at her book And then just pulls her knees back Like the tiniest bit So that I can kind of limbo past her As can Becca And that person proceeded to say Absolutely zero words to us For the next eight hours We sit down in these seats And the I'm looking over at the So we're the front row of coach, which seems like it's nice, but it's actually not. It's very shitty. This plane is older than the first plane we were on. We are looking at the back of the first seats of first class, where everyone else has a screen that they're looking at, including the people that are on the right side of the plane, the left side of coach.

There are digital screens on the back of the seats. Our seats have a big, blank, plastic square where the entertainment center should be.

It's like giving a kid a remote control and telling them to play with it like it's a phone. They just gave you something. It's like giving a kid a garage door opener and telling them it's a walkie-talkie. Right, exactly.

How did I make that story sad? And so what we have in our row, for some reason, are these like bizarre, again, like just primo 1980s technology, weird arm thing that you pull out from kind of like in part of your chair and then rotate over. and it has a screen roughly the size of my cell phone that completely makes it impossible for anyone to get in and out of the row if the entertainment center is going. So now you know how it is with the trays and stuff, and this is why you like to be on the aisle because you hate having to ask people, can I get out? Exactly.

I'd rather you just disturb my situation and I'll get out and let you out. I don't want to be the one who's like, I've been holding in pee for two hours because I don't want to ask you.

The reason that I also always try to get the first row of coaches is because there's oftentimes enough room that you don't have to. So my whole hierarchy of coach tickets is either the first row of coach or the exit row, but somewhere where I can conceivably get around the person who's sitting on the aisle without having to bother them. You can definitely do that on the exit row. I mean, they're built for that, because you're supposed to be able to get a lot of people through if you've got a Sully on the Hudson type of situation going. So that's completely ruined now, because we have this, like, weird, archaic entertainment technology. Also, I will say this. The worst—Becca and I could not believe how bad the content was that was available on these little televisions. It seems—and I say this with peace and love because I met him recently, and he was a nice enough guy. But it seems as if there's been some sort of deal struck between Chuck Lorre and Iceland Air because almost all the content was Chuck Lorre-related. It was Big Bang Theory. It was Young Sheldon. It was Bob Hart Abishola, which I don't think you knew that, but that's another show he does on CBS. There was the Kaminsky effect or whatever that show is called with, like, Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin. Yeah, Alan Arkin and Michael Douglas. Turns out, made by Chuck Lorre. All of the content on this thing was Chuck Lorre related.

What's the Bob Hart thing that you mentioned? I'm trying to figure out what you just said.

Bob Hart Abishola. It's like a sitcom where Billy Gardell, who's sort of a stand-up comedian, has a wife who i think maybe is originally from africa or he has a girlfriend is originally from

africa whose name is abishola oh bob hart's abishola oh um oh yes i think i maybe caught wind of this a while back but it is not but it's like it's just like all i was like is can you just

throw up some curb can you just give us a couple seasons of curb on here like it was just the weirdest i did watch the blade runner and that was actually pretty dope so i will give them credit for that but basically we were getting the worst of all worlds we were the only people that didn't have the normal screens i look over to the again the mirror image of where we were where there's one lady by herself with all three seats and she's just like sprawled out like queen of the castle with her great digital screen you know what else she has foot rests under every seat guess what we have no footrest it's like the bottom of the seat has been torn off it's just like missing parts were they punishing you what's that were they punishing you maybe they heard what i said to the gate agent about quite a system you've got here maybe or maybe it goes back to your new york days is it a cigar thing yeah or a cigar thing maybe you know what i never even thought about this this could all be connected is it possible that bjork flipped me off because you heard about what i said to cigar rose did that happen after the cigar rose thing it happened i I was living in New York. It probably happened after. Yeah, because Sigur Rós was right at the beginning of the Bryant Park Project.

And she identified you as the radio host as she quickly got out of a cab.

Who asked very poor questions of her countrymen, the guys from Sigur Rós. She was like, he's on the list. I wonder if my name is Mud in Iceland. And all of this makes so much more sense.

Or the original sin is pre-Sigur Rós, and that's also part of the retribution.

What did I do pre? trample on a fairy garden

or something? Yeah, I can't answer that question. I think you have to do some reflecting.

It appears that that is not the country for me. Is all I can say. Somehow we survived the flight, although it was long. Eight hours, yeah. Oh, that was the other thing. The bathrooms, the lights didn't work in either of the bathrooms and the floors were wet. Like sticky wet But you couldn't really see what was down there Because none of the lights turned on Maybe they were just like

we don't wanna deal with this mess, let's just keep the lights off. Oh my gosh, Andrew, I forgot to tell you. I wanna get to your feelings about your trip, but I wanna tell you this is my last travel tip. This is a what not to do. I was not sure if I was gonna tell you about this or not, or tell the listeners. This involves our flight from New York to Rome. So I mentioned, we were in the front of coach, And I was really hungry in the airport, and they have these little machines at JFK that have kind of like sort of relatively healthy food. Like it's like a vending machine, but it's got like salads and like a little plastic kind of tube thing. Or there was like tortilla chips and some guacamole, right? So I get the tortilla chips and guacamole, which I guess isn't really healthy food, but whatever. And I was so hungry, but our flight starts boarding. So I'm eating it. Like we get in our seat, and I'm eating it. but now I'm done and there's this just imagine a clear plastic box with a lid that pops up and pops back down that's the kind you get out of a vending machine or something

yeah like a smaller version of what I'm getting

my mixed greens in at the grocery store precisely but imagine a version I'm just going to show you that's like this big yeah a little bit smaller and I so I finished these chips and now I don't want this garbage anymore but I don't know really what to do with it They're boarding the plane. No, there's international flights. So it's like the boarding of the plane takes a long time. There's a lot of people. And I don't know what to do with it. And we're right by the bathroom. Like the bathroom in Coach is right there, which is kind of convenient. And I like think, well, they have a garbage in there, don't they? And so I like open the door. I get on my seat. I open the door of the bathroom, and I look in there, and there is a garbage, but it's kind of like it's a little bit too the slot for the garbage is a little bit

too narrow for this thing because it's built into the wall we all are familiar with airplane bathrooms

it's like up on the counter it's like a thing so I kind of push I wedge it in there I don't want to like jam it in there but I'm just like my thought is I don't want this anymore it's garbage it will end up like when the flight attendants come through and spiffy up the bathroom at some point it will become part of the garbage I don't know this wasn't a good idea and I regret it

Now, a quick question. Hold on. You are throwing this in the garbage. You're asking yourself, well, is this a good idea? Is it not? Are you in there with the door closed, or are you just reaching in? I'm just reaching in. You're reaching in so people can observe this behavior.

But no one's really noticing. Everyone's getting settled in. It's not like flight attendants aren't noticing. No one's noticing it. So I basically kind of push this thing gently kind of into this garbage slot, but not really in there. It's basically just resting against it. And what must have happened was, as the plane started taxiing or something, this little plastic thing just must have drifted across this countertop and just fallen right into the toilet. Oh, no. Because what happened was, the flight attendant, as she's going around, kind of like, you know, the plane's starting to do its thing on the runway, and we're all getting buckled in, and they're going around last-second things, she just opens the door of the bathroom. She looks in and she just literally says Aw hell no Shuts the bathroom and puts it out of commission And I said What's going on in there? She's like someone tried to flush something in there And I am not dealing with that This is in the moments before This is at the beginning of an Eight hour flight to Europe The bathroom is now shut down Because of something I did So

You're assuming that that thing Dropped into the toilet it it's the only explanation that makes so essentially describing so i guess i mean and i you know i'm not even going to worry about your feelings on this one so you're you're shoving this into the slot and it doesn't fit i mean even best case scenario it stays in place but it basically makes the garbage like out of commission for everybody else it was going to be jammed out

of commission i was just yes it was first of all it was a bad move by me okay it was a bad move i was putting something that was garbage adjacent to a place where garbage goes you were just setting it on the counter essentially i guess i was basically setting it on the counter i was kind of leaning it into the slot but basically setting it on the counter that was a dumb move i shouldn't have done it should just held on to it but i didn't want it anymore and i thought i was putting it closer to where garbage happens than my seat um and uh that was a bad idea because it slipped and landed in the toilet and the flight attendant didn't understand what had happened she thought someone had tried to flush some huge object in the toilet, and she was not about to go fishing around in that toilet. Like, she seemed like a flight attendant who'd seen a lot in her life and was not going to try to problem solve this. She saw an object in the toilet, because no one had been in that bathroom since I put the thing in there.

This is what I was getting at. This is what I was trying to get to. So, I was trying to figure out if somebody

had gone in there and used the restroom and you didn't really notice and then what they did was they peed on top of this thing or worse no no one had been in so really and and i mean i know i know about you know i know what a toilet is like on an airplane i could have fished it out yeah you just even if it was your own thing there's very little water in there yeah yeah yeah i could have reached

in with my hand and just picked this thing out by the corner and it would have been totally fine but the problem was i had to ask her hey what happened and then she said somebody tried to flush something down and i am not dealing with that by the way andrew guess what i had in my hand the lid another box of tortilla chips the exact same i got two and i just like would you if you could have seen me slide the other one under my shirt as she was explaining to me what

was in the toilet no you had you should have you should have waved that around loud and proud because you've been you could have said clearly not mine mine is still right here i still got

mine here no dude i would have been so guilt by association uh but yeah i mean i'm wondering if

in that moment am i going to volunteer i'm just wondering if the answer to this may very well be no but me if me andrew did everything that you just did and then she said hell no and i make that realization would i have said oh no is it a is it like a chip container that might be mine i can grab it if there's a chance as long as nobody had gone on it but i mean that's what i'm not saying i would i'm just i'm just like trying to i'm sure she was so upset about it

yeah that i felt like i was going to be in so much trouble that i couldn't fess up to it yeah i don't like to be in trouble and here's the problem they don't have an out of order sign you know what they have you know what happens they lock it and it says they use the blood of the lamb they do they put it over the lintel so that the angel of death passes over uh No, you know what the problem is? There's not a special thing for out of order for Luke's got a chip container in the toilet. It just says occupied. You know when else it says occupied? When someone's using it. For the next eight hours, Becca had to explain to each and every person who came up, oh, that one's out of order. Because people were just constantly coming up to the bathroom and seeing occupied and thinking, okay, someone's using it, I'll wait for them. And then she would have to say, yeah, it's broken. Sorry, it's broken. It's broken. That is a weird thing to leave up to a passenger.

Yeah. You're sitting very close to the, I wonder if that was a blessing in disguise because maybe you would have had that toilet stink. You know what?

I kind of wondered about that too. You know, it was, I mean, in a way it was ideal because they were just far enough away that it wasn't like right on top of us, but like we could very easily get to it if we needed to. But maybe that was, I just felt really bad because I was like, I mean, and this was a huge plane that had like a bunch of bathrooms, so it was kind of fine. Yeah. Like there were a lot of other places to go. What I will say about Icelandair, and I don't want to go back to that dark place, but the plane, along with being roughly 100 years old, I believe the Wright brothers actually flew this plane to Iceland for its first voyage, along with being very old, it had two bathrooms at the way back of the plane. I mean, there was a first-class bathroom, but I was not going to try with these Iceland Air flight attendants to mess with the first-class bathroom. So they just had these two really shoddy coach bathrooms, which were not enough, because the second flight was packed. It was almost full, except for the lady who had two seats empty. Everywhere else, totally full. So it was like, it was just, it was miserable. It was very, I cannot not recommend Iceland and Iceland Air enough.

Eight hours of flight was. Well, we'll get into my journey here in a little bit, but my first flight is 10 hours. And so I've been trying to prepare myself for that because the longest flight I've ever been on was the 13 hour flight that you and I did to Australia. And I remember like 13 hours, my brain was scrambled. Like I stopped having emotions that I recognized at a certain point. Like I literally like it's a blur to me. Like you and I, I remember like you and I trying to figure out if that orb in the sky at one point.

Yeah, we were literally staring at the sun or the moon and had completely lost our minds.

I'm pretty sure we decided that we landed on it was a black hole sun. Won't you come? Won't you come? And so anyway, I'm sort of trying to gear up for that. I have no idea what our airplane situation is going to be like or what the room is going to be like. I'm assuming I'm not a middle seater. But yeah, no, 10 hours is, well. What airline are you on? Let me put it in context. It's not as long as 13, but it's more than eight. Somehow eight feels like a five-hour flight. Am I right? Yeah, eight feels – okay. Like five is basically Seattle to the East Coast, right?

Yeah, depending. Maybe five and a half. Maybe five and a half if you're going to New York. Seattle to Miami is like six, maybe six and a half.

Because they were going corner to corner of the country. Yeah. And then – and so you're like – used to like kind of a long flight being you know between five and a half hours or something like that um except for then and that's sort of like well i'm still the same person when i get on and i get off i'm just a little bit tired and maybe a little bit crabby maybe i watched two movies and had two cranberry vodkas or whatever yeah but it's a pretty long flight but you get through it but then there was something about the 13 hour flight that was i don't even know like you buckle in you become different people throughout like it becomes this sort of i took i was taking a bunch

of like herbal sleep that's something called valiant i think not that was that was for australia right not this one yeah yeah no i didn't take anything for this one yeah and so i feel like

eight is like an extended version of five like you're still in that like kind of like well that's a long flight but like there was something about 13 hours in a certain way your body just i think like shuts down or something i don't know and it was just like an odyssey i'd put it more like that and um and so this one is 10 and i'm guessing that a 10 hour flight is going to be closer to that Australian flight sort of situation.

That's going to be pretty epic, depending on... What airline are you on?

Well, the tickets are through Delta, but it says it'll be a partner airline, so I'm not entirely sure if it'll be a Delta plane or not.

Delta, you should be okay, I think. I mean, as long as it's not Icelandair, I think you're going to be all right. What if that's the partnership? Can we do this? Can we thank some donors today? And then before you sail off into the sunset, Can I get a little update on how you're feeling about everything? Sounds good.

Thank you for being a 10.

What if, like, the first three donors were in Iceland?

You know, I have the spreadsheet in front of me because we're going to be thanking donors here. And as you were talking, I'm like, I'm just going to do a quick search for the word Iceland and just see if anywhere. No, it doesn't look like we have any donors from Iceland. It looks like we did about an hour ago.

No, listen, Iceland, I'm sure, is a fantastic place. I'm sure we're going to get a bunch of listeners saying, like, it's the best vacation I've ever had in my life. I bet you that it is a wonderful place. I think I just visited on a bad day.

Well, you didn't visit. You were going through the airport.

They had a Sbarro in the airport. I didn't even get to try it. It was a real bummer. We got to thank Laura Steiger of Bellingham, Washington. What up, Laura? Hey, Laura. Thank you, as always. The City of Subdued Expectation, a.k.a. the Bay City. That's right. My very favorite places. Kathleen Munns is in Bloomington, Minnesota. Oh, nice. I feel like, I think I said this last time, I think my friend Amy Dickinson from Wait Wait and Ask Amy, I think her brother was the mayor of Bloomington, Minnesota at some point. Maybe Kathleen knew him. Glenn Rosen is from Newton, Massachusetts. Newton. Okay. Because sometimes that can be Newtown. Yeah. I think this one's Newtown.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is Newton, Mass.

Thanks, Glenn. How about Michelle and Larry Little from Port Angeles, Washington? Port Angeles. That's Raymond Carver territory, right? Oh, is that true? I didn't know that. Yeah. Is it Raymond Carver? Port Angeles. Raymond Carver. Is that? Yeah, well, I think that he lived there.

Oh, I didn't know that. That's interesting. And then did he go down to Los Angeles, to Port Angeles? Because I feel like, wasn't he writing about that kind of L.A. noir a lot?

You know what? I should be able to tell you that, and I just don't know enough of Raymond's work. But I think he did spend some time in Port Angeles. And I know that Michelle and Larry Little have, because that's where they are. Eric Hamilton is spending time in Walla Walla, Washington. beautiful Walla Walla Washington and a fun name so much fun to say and then Sheila it's our friend Sheila Reeks in Ithaca New York dear friend I believe of one David Ross

oh because they hang out in Ithaca all the time

aren't they friends from back in the day

dude I can't remember what's a spoof and what's not anymore I feel like that's come up but I wasn't sure if it was part of the nuts on Broadway conversation

I think Sheila knew Dave Ross back in the day

I thought you were just teasing No, I'm not messing with you

I believe, Sheila, get at me I think Sheila knows Dave Ross Okay, well the one thing we do know for sure Is that Ithaca is gorgeous It sure is, it absolutely is Thank you so much to all of our donors Thanks for making TBTL possible We really do appreciate it, even on a day when I Spent most of the episode Complaining about A nation of people that did absolutely nothing to me Except flip me off and do a very bad music interview with me. Now, Andrew, you are going to be heading to, are you guys going directly to Croatia? We stop in the Netherlands, so the 10-hour flight, and this is—I mean, we're having this conversation literally on the eve of me leaving, so this is—

Wait a sec, though. The 10 hours, is it broken up? Is it 10 hours to Schiphol?

It is—I don't know. What is Schiphol? That's the airport that you're probably going to in the Netherlands. Oh, I didn't know that. Okay. We are going—I believe, and I don't have this in front of me right now, although I could. It's my understanding that we'll be flying directly from the west coast here of the U.S., from Seattle to Amsterdam, and then from Amsterdam to Croatia, I believe. Split, I believe.

Amsterdam, 10 hours, 15 minutes.

Yes, that's exactly what I have in front of me here. So that's going to be a little bit over 10 hours. And so, yeah, there's a lot of questions. Again, I am leaving tomorrow. our flight is actually a reasonable time it's like 1 30 in the afternoon but because it's an international flight and also by the way because the sea tech airport is still dealing with a major cyber attack that's been that happened like two weeks ago well you were out of town for this so do you not even know about this like i don't understand how we're all so chill about what happened like i'm trying to think it was about two weeks ago maybe even more at this point that But it's still I don't think we have any answers as to who was behind it. But the SeaTac Airport and to varying degrees, the concerns inside SeaTac Airport was hit with some major. They believe it's a cyber attack, but I don't think they've associated anybody with it. It affected flights sort of sporadically. It didn't sound like it was something that like shut down the entire airport for a while. So maybe that's why it's not bigger news. but i do know that international flights were um hampered more than anything else um one of our friends so our we're going with a big friend group out there to croatia and all of our friends have left at sort of different times and already two people have already headed that way and our friend anita went um i don't again i my timeline is kind of messed up but closer to the attack uh the cyber attack i should say and she said that like um her flight was only delayed by an hour which wasn't too bad but then like an entire week later our our friend katie uh goes to the airport to fly over there and she's taking photos they have a um arrivals and departures board at the s gate that is handwritten on a marker board still that's encouraging right exactly and i'm still like kind of like and it's just like i remember there was a a headline in the seattle times maybe a few days after the cyber attack that said quote um suspicious individuals believe to be behind cyber attack like oh really oh thank you there are suspicious individuals who are behind it that makes sense i thought it was gonna narrowed it down yeah right we got well we narrowed it down so i'm a little bit confused about all of that i'm confused why we're not making a bigger deal of this i'm confused i mean this is this is i don't know i feel like we should be careful around airline stuff we're going up in the air for 10 hours but i assume that it'll be safe i assume that there won't be any delays but i am you know tomorrow morning we got to get there we're going allow a full two hours at the airport I did that scheduling in all directions on this trip that I

went on which is so unusual for me but I was very glad that I did yeah not even because like and in fact we ended up for our all of our flights like in not the one in Iceland but everything else it was smooth sailing and we had like too much time at the gate but still you know the international

stuff just kind of stresses you out yeah you know if you find yourself you know like uh you know missing a connecting flight in in i don't know detroit or madison or something like it's doable it's going to be an annoyance but i think that like finding yourself like if you had missed your flight in reykjavik like that would be like that would be a whole thing you know like and so i i we want to avoid i have to live in the sabaro yes was there really a sabaro i thought you were just joking there really was and i thought that was the weirdest thing it is that is a culture clash It does make me want pizza pretty badly, though, just mentioning that. But, yeah, so we're going to get there to, like, 1130 or something like that. And I still need to, like, as we speak right now to the day before, and I'm a little bit anxious. I have some more things to record with Genevieve. But then I've got to start packing. Genevieve was, like, packing this weekend. Like, I can't. I think this has something to do with me being a bit of a homebody. I think that, like, especially when I'm leaving my home, I don't like packing too early because I start to feel like I'm in two places at once, if that makes sense. I try to – I'm almost the opposite of other people. Like, if you have an afternoon flight at the end of your vacation, some people might say, hey, let's go to the beach for an hour or two before our flight. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Flight days are flight days. Like, I'll have a croissant with you somewhere.

You wouldn't have gone to the Eiffel Tower with me and Becca?

Probably not, unless I was forced to. But so I was actually kind of impressed.

with that too i'm like yeah and but again that i don't think most people are like me and good thing they're not but i'm kind of the opposite than leaving my home maybe because i don't like leaving my home i just i'm kind of like i don't want to start packing things up and start wondering like do i need this now or do i need it later i'm just like i will get all of my work done and like you know i have to record some things with genevieve because we're gonna be missing some after these messages so that's what we're gonna be doing tonight and then i'm gonna get all of that work done and then i'm gonna make a transition in my mind to say okay now i am packing and then and I will start that process, and starting to figure out what I need to download on my lappy lap. Yes, do that. That's what I call my laptop for entertainment. In case all they have is Bob Hart Abashola. Yes, hearts. And the Comitsky Method. So anyway, that's where I am now.

Are you looking forward to the trip? Are you a little anxious right now? Yeah. Oh, you are anxious. You've said that. Yeah. But are you looking forward to the trip, or are you slightly dreading it?

i am looking i am looking i'm looking forward to coming home at the end of the trip no i you know i've been kind of struggling with this and so this was like this was a trip that sort of like just sort of happened like genevieve started it's really strange like i can't read i think i must have missed some you know we're going because our friend anita is croatian and her family is from there and she's spent tons of time there and she's a you know kind of a dual citizen i think and so yeah i know she is and so anyway and so we've always kind of talked about like yeah someday we'll go there and like croatia is going to be beautiful i'm really jealous i will we would have

gone with you if not for pink martini who would only do live wire on the 12th of september and so i we i tried to move an episode of live wire so that we could all be there together and i'm very jealous of all of you being in croatia pink martini coincidentally or not coincidentally

an Icelandic band out to get you again. Another Icelandic band that has it out for me. That's right. Demonstrably untrue. Well, here's the deal. Everything that you've been talking about traveling abroad has definitely continued to ignite the part that's exciting to me, which is that feeling of getting off a plane and being like, this is like nowhere else I've been before. Even more so than, I've never been to Western Europe either. I mean, I don't know. Is Croatia Central Europe? I don't know how you, no, it's still probably western i don't i don't really know it's on the other side of italy right you have italy the boot cowboy boot then you have the what is it the adriatic sea whatever it's on the other side of the i'm gonna guess the mediterranean mediterranean or adriatic sea that the waterway

it's weird because it's all the mediterranean but then some of them have different names oh we're looking this up when we were there okay um it's very confusing yeah so anyway uh my point

is like this is literally like i am excited because like how many people get to get to go of that part of the world it's been described to me it's just like just absolutely beautiful we're going to be like spending a couple of nights in like kind of the city of split um and then we're going out so we're taking i guess a ferry out to this island where and again we're staying in this house with like i think there's seven of us maybe total now maybe somewhere between six and eight of us i mean the fact that i don't know that is interesting um and it sounds like it's going to be like kind of like paradise which is nice but the thing is and i kind of am late to understand this again i sort of just sort of fell into this i sort of i felt like i just learned that i was going on this trip at some point and then i was like okay um and i guess it is going to be what would be like your i feel like this is your ideal it's going to be like everybody hanging out in this house for like seven days and just basically hanging out at the pool all the time which you know sounds fun for people who like to hang out at the pool all the time but That's not exactly, you know, I feel like I've sort of feel like I've sort of spent the majority of my adulthood avoiding pool parties and communal living. And so this is kind of the sweet spot of those.

You do like the pool when you and Genevieve go on trips. But is that different with the environment?

Yeah, that's just me. And I feel a little bit more anonymous. And, you know, I obviously have body image issues and just comfort. Like, you know, we spent time earlier this week or maybe last week talking about how I'm uncomfortable, like hanging out of somebody's house with my shoes off. I'm not usually, like, huge into socializing with my shirt off. How about shirt off? Is that pretty comfortable? Shirt off, shoes off. Yeah, exactly. So as I sort of realized, oh, this trip is going to be, like, a majority of people, like, kind of just enjoying pool time together, kind of like, oh, this is going to be interesting because I'm going to lose a lot of autonomy, you know? Like, the things that are important to me is, like—

Andy Times is going to be under major threat.

You could make the argument that this island in Croatia is a nicer place than North Aurora in Seattle, where I live. You could make that argument.

People have made that argument. I've seen, by the way, I've seen photos of where you're going to be staying, and it looks really cool. Like paradise, kind of, right? Like paradise. Like I'm saying, if you want to switch places, I'll go. Right. Can you host Livewire September 12th featuring Pink Martini? Yes. if

If Nick Jarin can co-host with me. So anyway, yeah, so I don't want to, I'm not trying to be a bummer about it. I'm kind of like, oh, that's what, this is what this trip is? Like, those are a bunch of things that I don't do well with. Oh, I brought up North Aurora because I was kind of like, well, obviously where I'm going is going to be beautiful and paradise. But the thing that's most important to me in all things in life is, like, the ability to be on my own pace, be on my own, you know, like, whatever. And I'm sure, you know, we'll have our own room in this place, but like not negotiating meals or worrying, just not worrying about other people. And it's just like kind of but here I'm going to be in a place where I don't speak the language on this island. That sounds like it's pretty, you know, far away from, you know, like kind of like a lot of anything urban and everybody's going to be hanging out at the pool all day. So I'm a little bit confused as to exactly how I'm going to be spending my time. But I will tell you this. I am so, so, so happy that my health has made a turn for the better in the past week or so, because on top of all the anxiety I just shared with you, imagine me when I was barely getting around and I was like, I'm going to be on a flight for 10 hours. And that's why I was very concerned about getting these like comfortable shoes. And I got a couple of pairs of like shoes that I feel I'm going to be comfortable in. But also my rheumatoid arthritis is apparently starting to subside, at least that initial flare up I had. And I'm very excited about that because I'm in such a better. And also I was talking to Vives about this. I don't think I quite realized how bad my mental state had gotten kind of over the course of the summer as well. Like it just one thing led to another. Like just the inability to do simple tasks and things that I like doing in the summer, like caring for the yard and stuff like that. I just spent a big chunk of the summer just like icing my ankles, you know what I mean? And so I am very, very excited to say that I am feeling like, OK, I have these comfy shoes now. I'm going to get off that plane. I'm sure I'll be a little bit cramped, but hopefully like anybody would be and I can get around more. And also, even if everybody's having, like, you know, a bunch of pool days, hopefully I can take my camera and just sort of go on my own little somehow go on my own little adventures. And I really want to take a lot of photos and also, you know, kind of read my book and stuff and enjoy it. But I will say I'm already sort of looking forward to being in control of my own life again when I get back.

I think you're going to end up having a really fun time because I have three words for you. Chavapi. Have you talked about this at all? No. It is like the go-to food, street food in Croatia, and it's just basically a delicious sausage.

Oh, they're little hamburger sausages, right? Isn't it ground meat? It's called cevapi. Yes, yes, yes. Nina made some of those recently. So good.

Dude, you are just going to be living on cevapi while you're there. You're going to love that.

You're going to absolutely love it. And then I'm going to go swimming right after that.

It's a very sausage-based society, so I think you're going to fit right in.

It really is. I will, because I do have my... You've got Easterner. I have a lot of exactly I have Eastern European roots so I do the the food definitely I think will be up my alley but I in all seriousness or as I sort of like kind of balance this idea of wow you know I'm going to be in a house for a seven-day pool party which is again not my speed um I am very excited about seeing a part of the world that I would otherwise never see and just like that this is such a bad example but or parallel but remember how i told you somewhat recently on the show that when i went down to los angeles to apply for a job that i wasn't sure that i was going to take in fact i was thinking i wouldn't take it but then i just sort of like the moment i landed in los angeles and looked around i was like i'm going to take this job just because i've never lived in a place like this before whether it was the for your consideration you know emmys billboards or whatever it is i was just like oh there's a culture here obviously It's Los Angeles. People have heard of it. But like I was just sort of like immediately taken by, oh, I'm in this place that like feels very different. And so there's an excitement about that, like a buzz that I get that I'm kind of both nervous but excited to like land, even in Amsterdam, and just be like, I'm in Amsterdam. You know what I mean? I've never been that far. Oh, dude, in the airport. I heard they have like spliff. They call them spliff lockers. I don't know if you're familiar with that. And then I'm going to leave the spliff locker and head over. And especially Croatia, it just seems like such a unique place to be. So I am excited about that.

I think you're going to have a fun time, and I am so glad that you're feeling better. Because that was the thing I was stressed for you about, is it's already kind of pushing your comfort zone, and then you throw in the kind of lack of mobility. Yeah. That would have been really bad. So I'm really glad you're feeling better. And I'm going to try to hold the fort down here. You did such a good job, Andrew. And I've been thinking about this a lot. You really screwed me, dude, by doing such a good job of handling the show while I was out of town.

I mean, we got one text from one famous listener who said—

No, but I have looked at the shows and seen who you talk—

talked to and you had ideas you produced these things up you didn't like i was just like i don't know i'm gonna call my mom or something like you really you really people will love that people will love that you put on your producer i'm gonna try to hold it down here for the next week and um you know have on a variety of special guests and people to help me keep the needle moving um but uh but but relax enjoy croatia don't even think about the show but also leave your phone on because if john and i don't know how to post the show we will call you i am literally

probably going to be trying to book rental equipment for Philadelphia while I'm in Croatia. Don't do that. Well, I think we've got to get that done. From Croatia you're going to be trying to do that? Well, I mean, when I get back from Croatia, there's a pretty small is it one week? I think it's just like one week turnover between me getting back from Croatia before

getting... I think it's a couple because I think we wanted to make it one week and you kiboshed that. Oh.

Because it was going to be too close. It is close.

Yeah, it will be. The 28th TBTL philly yeah 28 there's still tickets available come hang out with us saturday night yeah so

maybe yeah i can probably take care of that rental stuff anyway i actually have stuff i need to talk to you about regarding that but now is not the place but um yeah so i i will say this and this is and i'm looking forward to philadelphia as well like we haven't done a live show in a really well actually i guess it's been just over a year since we did our 4 000th show but it feels like a very long time since we've done a live show certainly on the road somewhere because we did the 4000th here in Seattle. And I'm just excited. I also just love Philadelphia. So I'm excited about that. But my God, am I looking forward to October? I feel like this summer, I told you this, and I don't want to make too much of this or too much of a pity party. But this was a it was like the beginning of the summer was really tough for me, obviously, for health related reasons. And I just started to feel like it was it was sort of like kind of it was sort of like lost time sort of and then um and now i'm feeling better and i'm feeling great but i'm looking forward to like kind of having kind of going back to not having anything big on the calendar for at least a little bit and

i think once i get to october sweater season oh god yes that could get that code get the get the bone collector going again some cozy stock it's football season that's right yeah yeah i'm gonna

miss everything's coming up andy i am gonna miss the i guess opening i am i gonna be in the in the sky for the first thursday night football game i don't get to see most of the sunday games anymore because of my schedule but i do enjoy since i already pay for amazon prime anyway i'm like oh i can i do enjoy that first thursday night football game of the season i guess i'll be missing that i think i'm gonna be i might am i gonna lose all of thursday because i'm leaving on wednesday and i think by the time i land it's friday already i don't know time right

confusing it is um just try to push through that's what i learned just try to like when you when you land, try to go to sleep at what your normal time would be.

That's interesting, yeah. That puts you on the right

road. Well, listen, you have fun, and again, thank you so much for taking care of everything while I was out of town, and I will do my best for there to still be a TBTL when you come back. Okay, it would be nice to come

back to a job. I'd love to still be employed when I get back, if possible. Okay, good.

That's good. Alright, all of you, thank you for listening. We're going to be back here on Monday with more Imaginary Radio. Uncle Funtime Lukes will be in charge of things. Oh my god, everything We'll probably post at about 7 p.m.

We're going to be eating TV dinners and playing with old ashtrays.

That's right. Exactly. I'll let you have a sip of my beer next week, everyone. All right. Thanks for listening. Have a great weekend. We'll see you on Monday. Safe travels, Andrew. Please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all and me. Power out.