Muse

When you eat pasta, you are essentially sending a hormonal message to your body saying pack on more fat. That's what's happening. So even without cakes and chocolate, pasta itself turned into sugars in your body. That's what makes you gain all the weight. That's it. We're throwing our pasta out, Peter. All pastas, lasagna, all of it. We're done. All this stuff.

You even did it. Oh, no, no, no, no. It just happened so we can look at it. No, we're cutting it out of our diet. We are done with pasta. We are done with spaghetti. We are done with linguine, fettuccine. Fettuccine doesn't count. It absolutely counts.

No more pasta. Just have a bowl of spaghetti. Come on.

No. What happened to you? What happened? No more pasta for you or me. Okay? It's over. We're done.

Okay.

TBTL.

He is a fan of the outrageous. He loves to surprise. He loves other things as well.

Oh, this is the best pizza in a cup ever. This guy's unbelievable. He ran the old cup of pizza guy out of business. Game day, bucket, go boom.

But it's not on TV. That's just an internet thing, okay?

The only thing that's nice about this is even though it's a Tuesday, it feels kind of like it's a Friday.

well all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a tuesday edition of tbtl the show just might be too beautiful to live my name is luke burbank i'll be your host today i will not stop until i am the most hydrated on earth that's true i am in a day god knows what of my 75 hard ish project where i am uh still trying to consume a gallon of water a day i slipped up a little bit when i was traveling um it just was not practical but i'm uh i'm getting back to it it's kind of a fitness for one that i've joined that nobody cares about but i continue to discuss on the show day in and day out um this show is going to be an interesting one there is some construction work that is going on right outside of the Madrona Hill studio, so we might hear some noise from that. Too loud and too specific. By the way, I am coming to you from said Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where I said that the reports were that this was going to be, yesterday was going to be the last nice kind of fall like day or late summer early fall day before things took a turn but it's actually not terrible today. And of course, there are people in this country who are looking at much, much more grim weather patterns than just if it's a little rainy or not. So we're thinking of you folks down there in Florida and other places that may be in the path of this latest storm. Hope you're getting where you need to be and able to stay safe. This is a really, really hard time for folks down there. So we are thinking of you as we enter episode 4,310 in a collector series let the fun begin uh this uh tick tock talk popped up on my feed the other day and it just said joe rogan has been bumped from the top spot in the podcasting charts and then it just went on i think it was some kind of ai voice honestly i don't know anymore but um it just went on to kind of like list the top 10 podcasts and i don't know where the list came from i did find it interesting i used to check those lists a lot when tbtl was sometimes on them and in them and around them and that that stopped a long time ago so i've lost interest but i did find it curious that a lot of the top 10 podcasts in the world presumably podcasts that are just printing money are true crime and it got me thinking maybe that's what we need to do here on tbtl is get lean into the true crime genre, you know, here in 2024, just in time to be on the real leading edge of that trend. And so in a case gone cold, could a podcast bring the heat?

So today we will try to solve the crime of a UK doctor who tried to poison his stepfather. And by solve, I mean, the case has been solved. He was found guilty. So I guess i guess i'm still new to how this true crime podcasting works but maybe we'll talk about it anyway and we're gonna talk to this guy as long as training cobra of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships i'm uh here having these guys build the beginnings of a deck here on the studio and he's building something over there really i'm trying to build my beef castle he's andrew walsh he's joining me right now good morning my friend you know what i would like luke what i'm gonna start advocating for myself here and this is what i would I love you.

like in fact my birthday is like less than two months away and so if people are starting i would have believed if you said it's today it was yesterday luke and that's what a bad friend i was up all night waiting for the call never came never came not a text not a greeting card i sent

you a jib jab mom it's not real do you understand how many times since that drop played like three days ago or whatever it was i just say it's a jib jab like in my brain that is that has been jangling around in the fixer-upper that is my brain the the dilapidated fixer-upper that is

my brain and the thing is like jib jab is i'll bet i'm looking this up now i'll bet you a million bucks it is still successful for like because jib jab when i think of jib jab i think of sort

of early internet culture animated like animated yes had the like it was a very non-specific form of cartooning you could just have it do anything because it did the mouth movement was not specific

to any of the phonics that were happening and now i am on the jibjab.com website i still haven't gotten to what people can do to make me happy this birthday season um i'll get to that in just

a moment and obviously it's i don't you consider november your entire birthday month and it's not

even november yet right it's october so yeah it's well this is the month leading up to your birthday month we might as well throw it in it's my birthday fiscal quarter um i uh i'm looking at the jib jab website and i don't know how much like original dna is in this like you know what i mean if the i always got the impression that a couple of guys jib and jab started the jib jab right back in the

Always what I assume.

Early days. But I don't know if they have any association with it anymore or what it is. But it is still a way of sending birthday greetings that probably is turning some sort of a profit in a way. Like, JibJab has not been on my radar in a long time, with the exception of that drop we play from the I Think You Should Leave sketch. Let me see if I can even find that on the fly here.

What was the larger premise of that sketch where someone's sending a JibJab? Do you remember?

Yes, but it's very hard to explain.

By the way, I want to say this is the way that I believe the JibJab business has pivoted. I'll buy you some time. According to the website, it looks like really their move is you can put your face into a bunch of monsters doing the Monster Mash. Okay. Or you can put your face into a Cyndi Lauper branded girls just want to have fun video type of situation. So it seems like they've gone away from that kind of rudimentary, like what you and I think of it being those circular heads that are just kind of going to now much more put your face into an unlikely spot. And you could be right. This is one of these things where no one's talking, except us. No one has, honestly, Andrew, what's your name?

Andrew. Andre Andrew Walsh.

Andre 400. Andrew, maybe we're the only show that honestly has the cojones to talk about JibJab today on this Tuesday, October 8th but you're right, it could be one of those weird things that it's just quietly making money on the internet without any fanfare it's not flown close enough to the sun to have its wings melted I'm thinking about this right now because I've been listening to Jamie Loftus' incredible podcast 16th Minute Where she basically By the way, Jamie will be at Livewire on Thursday This Thursday in Portland, please come Alberta Rose Theater, it's going to be an amazing show But it basically Picks up on The 16th minute of someone who became The main character on the internet Kind of maybe unwittingly Like the 30 to 50 feral hogs guy Oh yeah Do you remember that whole back and forth?

I do, wasn't that, that was sort of mixed up In politics too, wasn't it? It was mixed up in gun policy.

The 22nd version of that, just for those who've forgotten, was you had, unfortunately, some school shootings, and you had the singer Jason Isbell kind of talking on Twitter at the time about basically arguing about what is and is not an assault weapon is a really bad faith argument, effectively. And then this guy replied to the tweet and said, this is a legit question from someone who lives in rural America. What am I supposed to do when 30 to 50 feral hogs come into my yard and my young children are there? And then the internet just went crazy with that because it just sounds totally unhinged. Well, she ends up going and interviewing an expert on feral hogs. It turns out, first of all, a grouping of feral hogs is called a sounder. And also that that's a number that's not totally crazily out of the possibility. And then also she talks to the guy who did the tweet. And it turns out he's, you know, he's definitely to the right of you and I, Andrew, but he's not.

like a complete maniac and like he takes an hour to photo with that tweet right or it was it just

such an evocative tweet that i just imagined my own photo going i think you i think you jib jabbed

a photo i mean maybe he posted a photo it's i mean the fallout was people got you know pretty hot at this guy and like you know we're taking they were people taking satellite photos of his yard to try to tell him where he could put a fence in to protect his children from 30 to 50 feral hogs but all this is to say i was listening on my jog this morning to the episode something that was called hq trivia which is an absolutely fascinating story i'm a little old for hq trivia this is this is related to jib jab andrew okay and um uh basically there was the guys who founded vine they sold vine to twitter and then twitter like mismanaged vine and created vine created all these stars who many of whom are still stars but vine did not like keep any of the money from those people they kind of were a launching pad but the people who made the money could then go to other platforms and continue to make even more money and so vine ended up going down but the guys who had started vine then started this trivia game called trivia hq which for again i think people maybe 10 15 years younger than us was like a whole cultural event yeah because it was a

tv show or no it was a live thing i remember um bean our buddy bean baxter was very very into it i remember sorry i meant people 50 years older than us wasn't that um was it pandemic era too

or just no and that's one of the interesting things it didn't make it to the pandemic oh and that would have been amazing had it it probably would have become yeah it kind of become the sensation but the the short version and listen to jamie's episode on it please but the short version is it was this wildly popular thing had millions of people like tuning into it but the particularly one of the founders was really mad that he wasn't the host anymore he had been the host in the very early days when there was like 10 people watching and then when it got bigger they hired like a professional comedian to host it and uh basically like he just was on the warpath about do we say a warpath anymore i'm okay i'm okay with it sounds like on the edge he was very very like hypersensitive about any uh articles about the guy who was the host of the show because a it just bruised his ego because i think he wanted to be the main character in it and b he was very burned from having created all these helping create these stars on vine so he's very insistent like this is called hq trivia the host does not matter but in fact everyone liked the the host and so the host did this interview once with some magazine or actually i think it was with um i don't know what like one of those internet things that we all used to look at not gawker but something in that neighborhood and uh the own like the co-founder of of of hq trivia was just like just freaking out and then like calling the reporter the reporter was taylor lorenz by the way the really really great digital reporter is she still at the times these days i'm not sure that that name rings a bell but i don't i don't i think you've actually cited an articles from her but but um uh that's i thought you were a fan but not a byline that i follow specifically well so anyway she was writing this profile of this guy scott ragowski he's the host of this hq trivia thing and um and and like it's just a not a puff piece which is like hey this guy hosts this app and it's like really popular people like it and she like sends an email to the co-founder just fact-checking something or asking a few follow-up questions, just like standard journalism stuff, and he basically sends these unhinged series of emails like if you publish this article he will be fired, and so the headline of the piece on again, I wish I could remember the specific site she was writing for, but the headline on the article became email from the co-founder of HQ Trivia, if we publish this story, Scott Rogowski will be fired so it got so much worse for this guy from being a complete weirdo and anyway so that was sort of like the beginning of things started to kind of fall apart and then one of the other founders passed away from a drug overdose and that really was hard on them but all that is to say the life cycle of these things is so interesting to me because you have things that whether they're apps or websites or technologies that just like burn very bright and then they're just kind of

gone like this hq trivia thing and then you have jib jab that's still over here offering me the option of pasting my face or the face of a loved one into a possum birthday card where their face

will be part of a kitten band how would you feel about being inserted into a sia cheap thrills

halloween video when you say sia do you mean the singer songwriter sia yeah you know the song

cheap thrills. Let's see.

That's the only song I really know by Sia. I like it a lot. You know that song.

Can you sing it for me?

No, I can't. But the chorus is, she says cheap thrills, and then it's like a chorus of almost like childlike voices echoing it, which really makes it stand out, because you don't think of child voices as being huge in pop music, but there's something that really works about it. Does this ring a bell to you? Me describing music to you is like dancing to architecture, I realize, but I don't have it in my head enough that I can sing it.

Well, I'm making, hold on. Okay, I'm making a video of myself. I'm going to be all three of these C's.

I saw you make a funny face. I was like, that's not reacting to me. I'm taking pictures of myself. Hold on. It's like you trying to check out at the grocery store using your phone. Yeah. Having to verify your identity.

Wowza. Okay, we've got the second one. Great, let's move on. Hold on. I'm going to make this video. It's going to be amazing, although I have to be all three faces because we're doing this kind of on the fly.

Are you doing the C a Cheap Thrills one? Because that should only be one face.

Not. Andrew, you've clearly never jib jabbed.

Oh, okay. It wants me to

It's got It's got Cheap Thrills See ya Cheap Thrills Halloween It's got three characters That I'm supposed to insert But I You know Different faces It says Little hamsters are making my video I don't know what the Oh I see Yeah

When you hover over these You can see if it's a one person participation Of three people

Okay here we go And I am going to share this with you later Andrew Because it's Pretty spectacular You know this song I do not recommend Oh Come on Come on Oh yeah yeah yeah

It's so good

Wait, sorry Jib jab

It's like we won't be pulled down if it's a jib jab

Oh, jeez I just thought of that

No, just do it

This is like shaving a haircut

Well, here's the problem It keeps giving me a pop-up window And when I X out the pop-up window, it stops the song

Oh, does it want you to pay now?

I don't know, let's just see if it'll let me get I'm not going to mess with the pop-up window, okay It's not real

Come on, come on, turn the radio on It's Friday night, and I won't be long Gotta do my hair, put my makeup on

It's Friday night, and I won't be long

Till I hit the thumbs up

Oh yeah, this song's so good

I got all I need No, I ain't got gas, I ain't got gas But I got you, baby

I mean, it's no Monster Mash, but um

No, it's no Monster Mash Okay, we are out on

I want to share this with you, Andrew, but if I want to share this, I have to join

Jibjab. Can you take a screen grab of your faces? I'm going to try.

We have a lot to clean up here.

We have nothing to clean up. Are you kidding me? This all started with me saying something that I want. We haven't gotten to that yet. You asked me, what is the Jibjab drop that I play? What is it from?

This has all been buying you time to locate that drop.

No, I had it. While you said, I'll buy you some time, I already had it. it's not real it's a jib jab now what i remember of that sketch and you might have to fill in some of the details here because it's hard to describe but i feel like it was one of the last sketches on an episode um which maybe makes it a little bit weirder and it's this guy and he's i believe he's one of the people watching a video before getting your ears pierced at the mall and it's mostly little girls who are watching it no no he's in the video it's the instructional video So it's mostly a bunch of little girls saying, it doesn't hurt to get your ears pierced or whatever. But then there's this one guy who's probably like 55 years old, has long gray hair, kind of a little bit vibes of maybe Bob from Twin Peaks, cleaned up a little bit, like kind of an aging hippie kind of guy. And his stories are just getting weirder and weirder. And at one point, and I don't remember why, but he just says, I said to her, Mom, it's not real. It's just a jib jab. But that's all I remember of that particular sketch.

Okay, what can the TBTL 10s of listeners do for you, Andrew? Because you're advocating for yourself.

I want to advocate for myself, and there's something that I want. And whether you want to call it a birthday gift or a Blursday gift or just let's call it a custom jib jab, whatever you want, I want people to email me, andrew at tbtl.net. I want them to put hey dummies in the subject line, and I want them to ask us questions for various reasons because of our travels and then our lives. show. The TBTL newsletter, I would say for the past month or so, has been a little bit inconsistent as far as publication has been concerned, but that's all changing. We are back. And content-wise. And content-wise. It's been very rocky. We're looking to hire some...

Hit and miss is how it's been described in some of the Discord.

Exactly. But anyway, I was just like, hey, as we were starting the show, I was thinking, oh, I have to record a Hey Dummies video, and for those who are unfamiliar, you can sign up for the newsletter at tbtl.net. But we always include a little video of you or me answering questions from the listeners. The video is called Hey Dunn.

and we need questions to answer. The cupboards are bare.

I was looking around last week when I did mine.

Yeah, all you had last week, you just held up a half a can of lima beans and you're like, this is all I could find in the cupboard. It was a jib jab. So anyway, email me, andrewattbtl.net and put hey dummies in the subject line and let's get some fresh questions and we'll do our best to answer them.

Yes, any question for us, no matter how personal, and I mean mostly to Andrew in bathroom times.

Actually, the more personal, the better for me. Yes. Because I'm- We know that's your brand of content. Exactly. Overshares. TMI, baby. I'm comfortable in that space, certainly. Yeah. Thank you for being a tan.

I got to really time my giant glugs of water and liquid IV, Andrew. a little better because right as it was time to thank the donors i was i'm still recovering from that my apologies um hey thank you to our donors today who are keeping tbtl rolling we're sort of the jib jab of podcasting nobody knows about us but we're over quietly quietly humbly making a living over here thanks to uh the donations of folks like dorothy crutcher Who's in Culver City, California

Hey, one of the few places on the list of American cities Where I can claim to have actually lived

I didn't realize that you were in Culver City When you were living with a French model And this was not during a period of estrangement From you and Genevieve No You just had to move down there for your job And that was what, like you Like a Craigslist roommate situation?

Yeah, I moved down there about two months I moved down to like the L.A. area about two months or three months before Genevieve made the move down because she had to deal with like kind of, you know, I don't know, stuff up here in Seattle. So we found an Airbnb. And yes, it was like I rented one room from some woman's like smallish apartment. And she was a French actress who spent a lot of time in France, which worked out well for me. But yeah, that was in Culver City, Luke. That was right.

Do you remember the rough coordinates?

Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, Culver City is not that big, but it was a five minute walk to the Sony lot, probably.

And what was that? I know. Oh, sure. So you were by the backstage.

Did you ever go to the backstage? Was it the back? Yeah. Backstage. Yeah. That was where, in fact, that was sort of a magical night. I believe it was my I believe I maybe moved down there on like I feel like it was right before Thanksgiving or something. It was maybe a week before Thanksgiving. I feel like I moved down there on a Tuesday. I knew nobody but then there was a big Seahawks I want to say a Thursday night football game and I knew that the backstage was a Seahawks bar at the time and so I like kind of just like meekly walk over to the backstage and it is just so crowded it is chock-a-block with Seahawks fans and this is also I think the year that they will go on to win the Super Bowl. um it's a good year for them and i walk in there and i'm squeezing and i i'm that's right i do order a beer and i just stand by myself i'm just like holding this beer thinking i need to drink this beer as fast as possible and get out of here i don't know anybody this is a hugely crowded bar this is not how i'm going to watch this game but then right as i was getting ready to like maybe turn tail and get out of there somebody said hey you're andrew and it was a 10 and a person who become my friend Gretchen and she had a table with some of her friends I've never felt like such a celebrity she said come here you gotta come meet my friends and sit with us and watch the game

I mean I'm sure you told me that story and I've just you know it's just leaked out of my ear as so many of your anecdotes do but that's an amazing like cinematic moment of being in a new town and your team is playing and it's like a really non-ideal circumstance in the bar because it's so packed but then somebody knows about you and then whisks you over to a table i mean that's that's the stuff dreams are

made it was pretty good and then weirdly i would find out later that for the the few listeners we have who are also crossovers with the um um tony kornheiser podcast the littles uh gretchen is famous in in she's the one who's sort of famous in what does he have a jamie no we have a listener Jamie who is a big listener of the Kornheiser show so when I mentioned a woman named Gretchen Wu she's like Gretchen Wu you know Gretchen Wu because it's a name that sort of stands out and Gretchen Wu would call into that show sometimes and sort of you know I can't remember exactly what her original claim to fame was but she kind of became I guess a bit of a bit of a listener character on the show for a little bit. I am so

glad that you know all of the parties involved and that you clarified because what was going through my mind when you were talking about Gretchen being a big kornheiser uh character was i had a like 15 minute conversation with our friend jamie from columbia maryland at the philly after party and it was exclusively about the tony kornheiser show and if that was not a part of jb's life god damn she played it off well yes because i was like oh no was i totally completely misremembering who i was talking to and what i was talking about

Well, I was, of course, up in the rafters for the show. And it was an interesting experience.

You know what would have been so great is if when we went to the Mulberry, you were also up in the attic of the Mulberry.

Yeah, just like kind of talking down to people.

You're at every location with us, but just in a weird kind of phantom kind of capacity.

In a weird socially distanced way. But one of the strange sensations of being up in the balcony was I had a really good view of our listeners who were gathered in the Friends Center there in Philly. and a bunch of faces that I recognized of people who I'd never met IRL before. And Jamie is one of those people. I'm like, there's Jamie. And then I was like, oh, I'll talk to her later. And then I thought, oh, I won't. So there's still all these people who, even though I feel like I know them because they've been listeners for so long and we were technically in the same room together, there's still a bunch of people who we still have not actually met. Yes, I felt bad about that.

Well, we'll have to have another TBTL Live. and hopefully we'll see a good number of the same folks. I don't know if Dorothy Crutcher will make it, but we do appreciate Dorothy's support. We also appreciate Clea Stiebel's help. Clea is in Denver, Colorado, a place we've done a live show. Oh, yes.

We've been to various Denvers in our lives.

We sure have. You're right, Denver, Iowa as well. We did not do a live show there, but we did get picked up while hitchhiking by a, I'm going to say 17-year-old young woman. She was 16.

She'd only had her license for two weeks or something, remember? And she said, if my dad found out I was doing this, he'd kill me. And we said, rightfully so.

And we said, and as well he should. But that was Iowa. Never, ever, ever pick up hitchhikers again, please. Particularly a couple of guys of our age. We come in peace, but you don't know the next. You became sort of not, I wouldn't say internet friends, But you like followed this person, this young person on Instagram in a non, you know, non weird way, but just kind of like you were like observing this person's life to some degree.

Right. Like, yeah, no, I still follow her because she was the first one who introduced and this is going back a long ways now, but she is the one who she was interested in. I don't know if we had our microphones out or what it was, but she was very excited to hear that we're podcasters because she was interested in becoming an influencer. And again, this is going back. Wait, was this 2016 maybe, Luke? 2017, the very latest. And then she started telling us. When was JibJab found it? She was telling us about how she has an Insta account, but then also a Finsta and whatever the third one was. She's the first one to tell us about that. Rinsta. And so I follow one of her Insta accounts, whichever one she gave us, which I think is her front-facing one. And I still follow her.

Is she been influencing? Is she getting the good people smashing the like and follow button?

I guess so. I don't know which I'm following. She was in high school at the time and then college. And the thing is, she might even be done with college now. But definitely it's the only account that I follow where there are a lot of like photos of her and her cheer leading buddies or whatever, posting like what I would consider at my advanced age, like sort of thirst trappy photos of young, hot women. And I'm just kind of like, you know, if I'm ever in the doctor's office and I'm scrolling through Instagram, I try not to linger on them too long. I don't want to give anybody the wrong idea. But I don't want to, as I've said on the show a million times, even though we don't interact at all, and I do not know if she would recognize me if I were to reach out, that is not, I just don't want to cut that tie because otherwise I'll never recreate that tie. And when I see those, I'm just like, oh, this is the kid that picked us up in Denver, Iowa.

Listen, in the words of Elvis Costello Your aim is true We know that you're not being a weirdo And so I think that's And I love that you're still following this person on Instagram Because that, like right up until this moment I had blocked that whole Or forgotten that whole part of it Like we were just, you said the other day That that was, oh it was in the Philly show We were talking about like moments of fear And you were like when we got dropped off by Nora And wasn't Stu, was Stu in the car too?

I think Stu was in the minivan too when they dropped us off.

We got dropped off, and Nora had to drop us off a little north of our destination because she needed to go back and host a memorial, I believe, maybe at Mall of America. I don't know if it was at the mall, but she definitely had a memorial to attend. And I believe that the couple, the person who was being memorialized, had met his significant other at the Mall of America. Oh, I see. And somehow in the back of my brain, I don't know if that also meant that the... By the way, you know, Becca worked at the Nordstrom at Mall of America. america oh really oh that's right those roots yeah in the high-end handbag department and she has amazing stories from working there first of all of like very like you know i don't know what you expect someone who's trying to steal a purse looks like but of like a lot of attempted purse thefts from from from from you know pretty well-heeled appearing people that are coming in like high society ladies like high society ladies who straight up shoplift birkin bags and then get busted and then also like they had all these like codes that they would do on the phone like the employees that would sound like they're talking to just like the shoe department but they're

talking to security and telling them what's going on oh wow now can she get us in with the um with the water skiing squirrel does she have an in she does they dated oh that's well so it's complicated and well it's complicated but there's a chance of getting him on the show it sounds like she has his number i'll tell you that much yeah or her number it's her i don't know if we really it's her lock screen on her phone and that hurts after almost four years that hurts yeah anyway thanks

clea thanks to michael barney who's in sacramento california where we have done a quasi live show we've done it we've done the show live in someone's driveway oh that's true yes absolutely thank you uh lynn koppel is in saint paul minnesota hey we've done shows there and we should again we love that town yeah is there anybody at apm when i was this is a weird thing andrew but when i was just starting to send you my jib jab screen which i grabbed perfect thank you there was i that's not the best representation of it but it just is the one that i could grab you know with a screen cap but but whatever it is what it is we live in an imperfect world but as i was trying to send you the message it wanted to autocomplete to our former colleague Rachel Dennis at APM Takes a drag off a cigarette

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a while How many people at APM

Are like People In the APM on demand universe Or whatever that is these days I wonder if we do a show in St. Paul If there's anybody from over there That would remember us

Hey I gotta point something out here Now I don't want to spoil anything Because we still have two more people to thank But let's look at this list so far. Culver City, I live there. Denver, Colorado, we've done a live show there. Sacramento, California, we've done a live show in somebody's driveway there. St. Paul, Minnesota, we've done a live show there at a brewery. Who's next? Where are we going next?

Oh, only the borough of Brooklyn, New York, where Jason Shelley is. And where we did a live show. That's true, Greenfields. That's right.

With John Hodgman, I believe. This is quite the, look how things are shaping up. We have personal, we've physically been in all of these towns.

Including Bellevue, Washington. That's right. Where Aaron Highland is. I don't think we've done a TBTL in Bellevue, but I've certainly in my radio days been at like a, did I ever tell you that I think, I'm pretty sure, again, I've established my memory is pretty lousy, but that I think I turned down the Bellevue Rare Coin voiceover gig at Cairo. I just, and nothing against that company, but like, I just couldn't, I don't know. I feel like gold for coins and we'll pawn your stuff. And I know that that place is a big advertiser, or used to be a big advertiser on Cairo, but I remember going to Bellevue. They wanted me to do ads for them and they were like, come on over and see the operation. And again, they were very nice. It was very professional. It was a very high end for what it was, But it is a business that is premised on a lot of people who are having a tough time and they've got something and they need to get money for it. And that's where they bring it. Like, you know, anytime a company is buying your gold from you, it's not a banner day for your finances. And I just couldn't. I couldn't. I don't know. I couldn't. You know what I was thinking last night, Andrew? This is such a tangent. And it's the exact kind of thing that Aaron Highland and the rest of these donors pay extra for. I was watching Monday Night Football and I was kind of I was puttering around in my kitchen by the way absolutely and I know I'm jinxing it absolutely no notes for Fubo TV right now it's I watched my MSNBC although Chris doesn't do a show on Monday nights that's fine I watched other programming and then popped over to Monday Night Football I have absolutely again three days into it I have experienced a zero entertainment loss Nice By getting off of that GDXfinity And I have you to thank for it, Andrew I love this But I was sweeping up in my kitchen Because my dad and I have not yet put the kickstops in the kitchen So the cabinets go down to like an inch off the floor But then there's nothing blocking crumbs and dirt so if i'm cooking and after a day or two i'm like whoa what's going what lies beneath these cabinets and so then i like sweep it all out and try to keep on top of it but there was just some voiceover going on related to the nfl and i was sweeping and i don't know why this is where my mind went but i was like what if through some bizarre i don't know if maybe it was a kind of a semi-well-known person that was doing a vo for some component of the nfl but i was like what would i do if i somehow booked a gig doing a vo for the nfl this is related to like bellevue coin and gold like there have been a handful of things and it's a short list of things that i've said uh i'm gonna pass on this and this is where my mind went it for some weird reason oh you know what it was it was this i think completely bland sounding corporate thing for supporting flag football in the NFL.

Oh, okay, yeah. The NFL is really trying to get behind flag football and getting girls involved, like kids involved in flag football. Which, like, great, I guess.

I don't know. When we agree the NFL is a bad thing, does that then mean that gender equality related to the bad thing is the goal? I don't actually know the answer to that. We can also give CTE to women.

Well, it's the pivot is flag, I think. I mean, I think that's the whole thing.

I know, but it's just like, I don't know. The whole thing is weird to me, but it was some corporate tie-in. I forget the company. It's probably just as well. The company was like, all I could hear was this, I'm going to try to redo the VO for you, okay? It was like, I'm going to say it's not Amazon, but I'm going to say Amazon because that's a company that we all agree is kind of bad for the world, and yet I utilize it all the time. Amazon is partnering with the NFL to build youth sports and promote flag football and inclusion for all athletes. It was just like a number of sanitized sentences that were completely noncommittal in any direction. And it was so lacking in any nutritional value or anything that was even remotely interesting. And where my brain was going as I was sweeping was like, okay, I guess they're trying to... As of right now, physically, it doesn't seem super possible for a large number of people assigned female at birth to play in the NFL. That's still a ways off if it ever happens. so they're trying to find this other way but also it's like they're just trying to expand the brand right like they're just trying to like they're trying to find a way to connect with with young women basically by having this kind of other version of football going on that they can be part of just to sell more jerseys down the road or whatever and then i thought what if somehow they approached me with this gig or maybe something much worse like a straight up just nfl gig and i And they wanted me to do the VO. Because on the one hand, I would be so stoked. I'd be like, holy shit, that's big in the culture. But then on the other hand, I would have to, and this is what I was thinking, I'd have to explain it to you and the listeners. And then my question was, would I have, and maybe it even pays a lot, I don't know, I was like, would I have the moral compass to turn it down? Because to me, it's a no-brainer, turn it down.

Well, we talk about, I mean, that's an interesting one, because I feel like there's a lot of gray area there. Clearly, you and I acknowledge the problematic nature of a lot of aspects of the NFL. Having said that, we're both consumers of it. We're both open consumers about it. It's not like, you know, when you say explaining it to me or the listeners, I sort of feel like, you know, like it's not like you and I are not using these microphones to talk about the NFL and not just bring up the social issues regarding it. But just like I think on yesterday's show, we couldn't help it. We just got into some football talk. I mean, we enjoy the product.

But I guess maybe this is the real question. Is it worse, because we agree it's all bad, is it worse to be a consumer of it or to profit off of it? Because I would be, in a way, profiting off of it. I would be adding my estimable talents to the, I mean, it'd probably be the number one TV ad they had with my voice on there.

Probably, yeah.

It's one thing to watch it and kind of hold your nose and kind of constantly acknowledge like this is bad but we're addicted to it it's like it's one thing to be addicted to a drug it's another thing to sell it right yeah and like the weird part was and again this all happened in under 20 seconds because i have a very small kitchen i know what

you're talking about though this little flight of fancy that you have for a second and my whole

thing is i then was trying to create the exact sentence that i would tell you andrew that justified me doing this voiceover for this non-existent NFL ad it's just it's just you

interviewing DeMar Hamlin talking about why football's the best thing that's ever happened

to him right oh my god how happy were they when he got that interception oh that's right football's

back baby ball's back collision course collision course yeah no I I know it I don't think that I would, well, I mean, you and I are in

very different positions in life obviously but i weirdly don't think that i would struggle with that paycheck as much as you would like i think like if anybody wanted well first of all here let me just can we just do this for a second yeah hold on let me find it do you want some music uh if you want i'll i'll wait for it if that's the best way to do this well let's see here i've got

But, yeah, I've got some tunes here. Give me a sec.

I'm clearing out some jib jabs. I was going to say, get rid of the jib jabs. Is this real? No, this is a jib jab.

No, this is real. This is real? Okay. Okay, you ready? Yeah, okay. Okay, do you need a copy, or are you going to just wing this Robin Williams song? I got a copy.

I got a copy. Here we go. Okay, ready? There's no whining in football. But once a year, football comes to wine country. how do we do really good yeah it's not exactly I knew I was going to be doing the I knew I was going to be doing the Hard Knocks so I knew that the music wasn't exactly going to be perfect but I didn't want to interrupt it

I wish I could have gotten something a little more contemplative although really the move with Hard Knocks is more like a cover of a song that's very popular in the culture currently that's kind of you know I completely missed this year i think because i was in italy um you know at the beginning for me in years past and also i think it tracks with like how hyped am i on the seahawks in a given season like if if it's a year where they're being you know predicted to finish really well then by like august i've just got so much kind of football excitement in me that i you know i'm like i can't wait to watch the first episode of hard knocks i completely missed it this year which is kind of too bad because I think it is a very well-done show. And Liev Schreiber is a national treasure as far as I'm concerned.

I've given up on the show. I've got to say I have some fond memories of watching it, but now it goes back so long. I think the first season I watched was the Miami Dolphins season where they had a newly recruited quarterback who – I can't remember if he was the one who didn't know the different direction.

That was Jared Goff who didn't know the direction. So that wouldn't have been the Dolphins.

Oh, okay. Then the Dolphins guy didn't – I guess this, I think, is less embarrassing. So it was Goff who didn't know the directions. Then I think it was the Dolphins guy whose name I can't remember right now, but he was – you would know him. He was their quarterback for a while. But he did not know the different divisions in the NFL, and the other players were like – he didn't even know who else –

I actually find that kind of charming.

Yeah, he literally didn't know who was in their division, I believe.

Oh, I remember this a little bit.

Yes, and so I think that might have been the first season. But I thought that it got a little...

But every August, football comes to wine country.

I feel like the show got a little... I don't know if I changed or if the show changed, but it just seemed like, I don't know, more and more like, just you could see them pulling the strings and it became more produced in a way that I found to be like less... It just seemed less authentic as time went on. But again, maybe that was me changing. I don't know.

I think it became like anything that's really good, It then becomes a parody of itself at some point So it's like the first couple years When that show came out I was just again also probably like In a different place in my life Like I'm probably married I'm probably like looking for something to watch On a particular Thursday night As opposed to like you know My current life of travel and stuff for work Where it's like oh I've got to make an appointment To check in on this But like just when it used to be like The sprinkler like a shot of the sprinkler And then somebody's like putting air in a football and then someone's like you know these like they really and then someone's putting the sticker on the helmet and screwing on the like you know like parts this kind of idea of like the all of the very banal tasks that surround this like incredibly physical sort of spotlighted thing right like that the first couple seasons you're just like holy shit this is this is Oscar worthy filmmaking but about like season 12 when it's like Jacksonville jaguars and it's like yeah right you're kind of like okay we we kind of we sort of seen this movie before a little bit which again is it's not really it's like i guess you got to maybe try to keep reinventing it or i don't know make it comforting i think they've kind of gone with make it comforting

this is related uh you know i promised last week that i was going to focus more on on making this show or at least my part of the show a little bit tighter and more entertaining and i i find myself just lazily using it as an excuse to talk to you again without any thought to the audience

honestly maybe that's the only way i get through the show maybe that's just lowering my own what

it is to the quality of the product i mean i did a good you know what no i did i didn't you did a jib jab i did an impression of liof schreiber for the ages um i think we have the entertainment value so now i'm just going to say this to you i don't i had a and this is related to hard knocks i had um sort of a crisis of confidence for lack of a better phrase uh i think this was maybe just yesterday again sort of going on one of those just sort of mindless flights of fancy as i was probably heating up some soup for myself for lunch like a young person um and that phrase that became famous uh to us browns fans during an episode of hard knocks many years ago it's contagious bro went through my head and i had well good for you but i had this panicky moment where i was like wait who said that and i was like i remember it's contagious bro like it's really contagious wow it's contagious and i had this moment where i was like i can't remember who said that and i was like by the way we now know

how fast i can spell the word contagious yeah or landry i was and i think contagious is misspelled

in the file i believe it was very much quickly you can misspell contagious uh anyway i was just gonna say like i had this moment where i was like god i can't remember who it was i remembered the details of the person i knew as a wide receiver i knew as somebody who is new to the team he was taking on a leadership role he was trying to get the team pumped up like i remembered all of these things but i could not get the name jarvis landry in my head i eventually forgot it and even just now for the purpose of this story i'm putting quotes around story here um i just had to look it up i'm like oh yeah jarvis landry and that really bothers me because first of all i just think my brain is really bad and if something isn't in front of me like in the moment i immediately forget it especially with sports um which i really don't like i think one of the fun things about sports i assume for people who are into sports and are better at being into sports than me is is remembering the details of stuff like that or you and i have a couple of moments where we remember certain things that happened in games because we were together watching or listening to on the radio but generally speaking miracle on dirt as famously um and that was zanino right That was Zanino with a walk-off. I know we were playing the Twins. I know it was against the Twins. In an RV park. Yep, listening on the radio. But anyway, so there are little moments, but it bothered me that my brain just kind of leaked that information out, and I couldn't get Jarvis Landry. But also it was a, and I think you might know where I'm going with this, a little bit of a reflection of how the Browns, like I feel like if there's a chance that I was still into the Browns as much as I was then as I am now, The name Jarvis Landry might still be in my head because I would just be listening to more Cleveland radio and I would just be in that world more. And it was sort of a and maybe I'm making too big of a deal of this. But, you know, you sent me a clip yesterday of old Tony Rizzo.

I want to tell the listeners I am responsible for this entire conversation because I 100 percent triggered Andrew yesterday with a text.

No, I mean, I think I honestly think that the the Landry thing popped in my head for some. I think I misheard somebody say contagious. and then I was thinking about it and then I think maybe you and I were texting later I don't know the origin I don't think that you're fully responsible for this but you did send me a clip of this old this guy can I play this for you sure you just want to play the whole thing we used to play him I just have the clip

and this is I feel it's less a conversation about sports Andrew and a conversation about the emotion that some of us feel around sports and also I only recognize this guy because you used to play yeah a lot of audio from this before you play that clip let me

set up some of the audio and I know that I know especially that some of our listeners hated this guy's voice, but I thought it was so funny because I was, you know, watching Browns games, obsessed with the Browns during a period, let's say an era, in which they were just absolutely terrible, and you would just get a very angry Tony Rizzo on Cleveland AM radio saying stuff like this.

My God, man! How much more can we take? I can only imagine what the audience is thinking!

Which is perfect for our show, I think. It really does describe this as well. Call me when you're good. Let me see here. Here's a longer one of Tony.

That is the loserest of all loser moves I've ever heard in my life. My God, man. Have some pride in yourself.

My God, man. It was such a tradition for me to absolutely ruin my Sunday by, first of all, doing a media blackout so I could watch two football games in a row, even if they were concurrent. And then I would watch the Browns and they would find some new way to absolutely destroy me. It wasn't just losing football games. It was just the most demoralizing way you could spend your Sunday. And then what would I do? Then it would be, we talked about this a little bit yesterday. Then you're a little bit bleary-eyed and feeling gross from starting with mimosas in the morning and leading towards beer by the mid-afternoon or early afternoon. And now you're just in a bad mood and you're a little bit tipsy. And so what do you do? You turn on AM radio and clearly. You call. All the Roxino Casino line. Exactly. And you just listen to Tony Rizzo for between one and three hours, taking phone calls, each one angrier than the last and spinning up even more. Tony, because part of the fun is also getting him more and more angry and disgusted with everything. And it's like what I'm describing right now is such a both a terrible feeling, but also such a warm, cozy feeling to me that I think part of me misses.

Well, I wondered about sending you this clip because I'll just play a little bit of it. This is from, like, Sunday. This is exactly what Andrew's describing except right now, like 2024, and very little has changed in terms of the feelings that Tony Rizzo appears to be having.

Everybody in the building this morning. Everybody. You, Paul.

You, Jimmy. These are the people that own and run the Cleveland Browns football team, by the way. He's calling out.

You, Andrew. And, of course, Kevin. All of you. You ruined a season. You ruined it. You ruined it. The tinkering, the constant analytics of this and that, it's not working, man. It's not working. As a fan, I want you to know I'm done.

By the way, I'm already hearing good TBTL tape in here.

How many times has he been done?

That's the thing that's interesting to me is like, I wonder if, I hope to God for his sake, this is all very real for him. Like, in other words, I hope he is just this kind of fan, and it's hitting him this hard, and he's genuinely this angry. Because if he's having to sort of, if he's going to have to take a blue chew from hymns.com to get it up for this, like, week in and week out, if he's having to pretend to be this angry, I feel like.

There's a frustration that goes along with being a Browns fan and having this job that I don't think he's got a blue chew. It's not fake. I really don't think so.

Here's where I think that this story gets very interesting. And what I kind of was texting with you yesterday, and I know you don't ever want to pat yourself on the back or whatever. But the very quick version of the story for somebody who doesn't know is you were such a hardcore fan of this team when they were so, so, so having such a hard time. They would like had a whole season they didn't win. And like you said, they kept finding all these different ways to lose. And it was just tough. And then they kind of started to get good and have a glimmer with Baker Mayfield.

Yeah. And they made it to the postseason. Yeah.

It was like you had earned you as a fan. Andrew had like been you had loved them at their worst and you deserved them at their best. And what they decided as a team was to go out and spend all this money on this guy named Deshaun Watson for their quarterback because they thought he was a really, really good quarterback. The problem is there were a ton of very credible allegations against him of being sexually inappropriate with women, in particular women he had hired to do massage, but a lot of other things. Just a person who there is too much smoke to, and these were settled and paid off and NDAs and everything. But it was like anybody with a head on their shoulder.

Two dozen allegations. More than that now, but at the time, two dozen allegations.

And the thing that was, I mean, again, the story that should be centered here are the victims, okay? That's the worst thing that's happened in this, I want to be clear. But on a much, much, much, much, much less important scale, it also meant for you, Andrew, And again, this was at the, when they go get this guy, the thought is they are now going to be very possibly the best team in the NFL because they have a really good defense. And the only thing they've struggled with is getting like a top level. They have great receivers. Everything's great. And this is the missing piece. The problem is the missing piece is a person who should not be allowed to make millions of dollars playing professional football because of their conduct off the field. And what you did, Andrew, that I thought was very admirable was you said, I'm out. unlike Tony Rizzo you meant it you just said I'm out like I can't and and like I I admire that decision because if it was my team that made the same decision I think I would have said I'm out and then I think I would have still been watching with one eye on the weekends because it would be so hard for me to disconnect from it you just said I'm out like you you you stood on your principles and the thing that's so crazy about it is it has turned out to be a horrific on-field decision like the the assumption was they're going to win five super bowls and you're not going to get to enjoy any of it and yeah that it was and the the outcome has been oh they're way worse they're almost as bad as they were in the seasons when they were winning zero games like this is like this could not have worked out more poorly for these people the the critical people who made this decision to bring somebody on that they shouldn't have they basically said we don't care what a bad person this is we just want to win on the field and it has it has blown up so spectacularly

So in a way, it's like your moral stance on it, which I admire, has been rewarded. Again, rewarded is a very weird way to describe things like this. But it's like you're not missing out on five Super Bowl wins.

That is a good point. That was one of the things, like you said, putting the victims first. But one of the things as a fan that bummed me out the most was, oh, not only are they absolutely selling their soul as an organization and just doing the most immoral thing here. i was convinced it was going to work for them because i even as was everyone and i said you know the browns would always find new ways to break my heart every sunday and this to me was an extension of that like the ultimate heartbreak to like to not be bad and break my heart but to be incredibly good but have me on the outside looking in because what i thought that they did was morally reprehensible and i gotta say i i will i guess you know that's kind of a good reminder for me i will take the silver lining that they are just i mean not only are they terrible the quarterback is terrible and that's why i think in that i think in that clip you just um played i think rizzo even said something like you know why are you're sticking to your guns despite this terrible trade i mean it's a reference to that i mean they move i mean they gave him so much guaranteed money they basically just bought his legal problems they just said they gave him about

$200 million of guaranteed money, which never happens in the NFL.

No, unprecedented contracts are like, this guy is going to take us to the promised land, so we're going to turn our heads. We're going to say stupid platitudes like, well, we did our own investigation, and then we're just going to buy this guy's legal problems, and then he's going to take us to the promised land. And, I mean, that's the one nice thing is they did not go to the promised land. They're sort of – they are paying for it. That organization is rotten literally from the top down when you talk about the Haslam's who own it. Like it's just they're just the most I mean, there are really I mean, they also own trucking companies. I don't know how much you know about that, Luke, but they're just like terrible. Like they're really, really terrible people from the top down. So I don't know. Sometimes when I get that cozy feeling on a Sunday or when I see one of my old Browns T-shirts in the bottom of my locker, I'm like, oh, we're in Croatia. Oh, did we? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a Brown Baker Mayfield jersey in Croatian. I went up to the guy. I'm like, hey, Baker looks good this year. And he said, I mostly watch European football. Here's my question to you very quickly,

and then we'll do some emails and emails.

I don't want to hear it.

We didn't.

Oh, please, dear God, don't let the man have a Tony Rizzo soundboard. Forget Barbaro. That's the new, just shutting me down left and right.

Hey, here's a promo for tomorrow's show. This is ludicrous.

tomorrow we'll we'll finally break into that lucrative true crime market but i would the question i want to ask you today before we do maybe an email or a v-mail is um if the cleveland browns if if what appears to be likely to happen which is they've now because and i don't mean to get into like uh you know front office talk but they have paid they basically gave away all the money the team has to a person who's manifestly bad at the position of quarterback they're going to have to just release him or cut him they're out 200 million dollars on this deal which means they're presumably they don't have a lot of money left to like pay other good players and the likelihood is they are going to now re-enter a very very bleak time i don't know if it'll be oh in 17 territory but it's gonna be it'll probably be rough my question to you andrew is if they fully jettison to sean watson if they if they i mean no one wants him in a trade but if they just cut him and eat it or if they find a contractual clause they can get rid of him and they go they sink right back into that Jarvis Landry era it's contagious bro three and fourteen will you respond to that siren song you know I I don't think I'll be attracted to the losing

although it's that's what I mean that you said it's a cozy yeah no um I think you know there are a lot of factors there i do wonder like what a deshaun watson like kind of a post deshaun watson world would look like for the browns and whether or not i'll get back on the train but like i think and i'm not totally saying that that wouldn't happen but like i mentioned the organization is really bad and i mean from an immoral standpoint from the top down i mean i really think that what would what would really flip the switch would for me would be if they sold the team i don't see any reason why this family would do that and it's a pretty lucrative business um i feel like that would definitely clear some space for me but it also that kind of depends like you say if they move on from deshaun watson well does that mean that they're going to put in um winston jamis winston also somebody who had very credible allegations against him from his time in college that the the town did not investigate because he was a Heisman Trophy candidate and eventual win.

And it's my understanding, I'm pretty sure that it was ownership that really pushed for the Jameis Winston signing as well. I could be wrong about that, but I think it's true. And it just, again, just a morally reprehension. I know that, like, he's moved on. I feel like I might be the only person who remembers that story. It's never mentioned anymore, and maybe, like, time moves on, and they settled out of court. And, you know, I think the woman involved, like, I don't know if it was just a settlement or retracted the story, but you know how those things go. you know why a lot of times people retract their stories from outside pressure and like you know it's just kind of like and then we get back into kind of what started this conversation your flight of fancy about like what are we doing you know what I mean like the more I'm talking right now like this started with me thinking could I go back to being a Browns fan and now it's ending with me just like saying all the reasons I shouldn't even be watching this goddamn sport to begin with so I don't really know I don't want to make any like grand proclamations like I'm like king of morality here um i i really don't know i'll just try to be honest about it i guess it's just so weird because

i was saying on the show yesterday i was talking about my sunday and how like i becca and i were doing things and i was kind of monitoring the seahawk game but i wasn't like planted on a bar stool somewhere or at my house obsessing over and it really helped insulate me emotionally from the kind of like dramatic outcome that was a bummer at the end and i was just saying how like that feels like such a better way for me to experience this stuff and yet i also remember like us being at the westy and that one old gal in the cleveland starter jacket yeah yeah yeah and like kind of you becoming a real football head of just like it's a big deal to you and the browns and you know my brother david being like the browns are his like you know definitely his number two team if not almost eclipsing the seahawks and like us all kind of being in this like in it for on behalf of the browns at the time and like even just where we all were in our lives like we all lived in seattle together you know we we all got to hang out socially i think more because of proximity and it's just like i have such a fondness for like that maybe couple years of our lives together like i miss that for you even though i'm also on the record as saying it is a brutal terrible sport owned mostly by horrible humans and the less i interact with it the better and yet i wish i could

time machine us back to the west yeah no same deal like those i mean it's it's both like same with um i'm going back and looking because i'm pretty sure that specific game that we were talking about at the westy i'm pretty sure the browns lost that in overtime when i do believe it was a rough game the browns kicker missed a field goal i'm looking for his name it started with a z didn't it i just

remember being like in day ho no that was that was a that's a defensive player for uh the the

vikings back in the day but um anyway i'm right i'm rabbit holing here a little bit but i'm pretty sure we lost because our kicker missed a chip shot uh but anyway so i guess i still do carry some scars with me but um i uh yeah no i mean that's kind of the that is the that is exactly the double-edged sword that we're talking about here which is like the same with you i like sunday was a beautiful day weather wise and i got to be outside volunteering and then i heard the end of the seahawks game in my car and i was like wow that is a rough ending to that game but i was also like i'm so glad that i'm not like i started the day being very jealous that i couldn't be with all of my friends probably like having too many ipas not them but me i would have been having too many ipas in the middle of the afternoon and then been like crushed by the end of that game and i was like so isolated or insulated from it um that it was like it was protective on the other hand And I know next Sunday I'll probably be like, oh, I wish I could just go to the Eagles.

You know what we're describing is any form of addiction. Yeah.

Yes.

I'm describing it too. This is bad for me, but I miss it. And I've just got to get through. I've just got to get through another Sunday without, you know. And then I'm thinking of when the Seahawks beat the Green Bay Packers to go to their second Super Bowl. so a super bowl that we would of course lose in a dramatic fashion but the nfc championship game there was like a statistically like a less than five percent chance that the seahawks could come back they were losing by so much russell wilson had thrown like four interceptions it was just and then we're watching it out in port townsend at me and carrie's old place camaro kevin and nita were there we were making off-brand hawk bombs because we needed that and we didn't have quite the right stuff but we were just grabbing anything that was in the like liquor cabinet to like make and then we you know this insane dramatic comeback the Seahawks somehow miraculously win and I remember we were renting this house that was like right on the beach and I remember just like walking out to this edge of this bluff and staring at the Strait of Juan de Fuca and urinating and feeling as happy as I've ever felt at any point

before and since in my life like and I believe even there was a rainbow I know that sounds like it's sort of revisionist history but I think it was kind of like one of those wintry days where it's cloudy but it's not actively raining and there was a little some rainbow in the distance and I just was like I mean honestly that's got to be in the top 10 moments of my life so that's also what you what you give up when you take a step back and again like any kind of addictive substance there's some real highs with it but you have to ask yourself if if the lows are worth it

you know i think it was zane gonzalez zane gonzalez missed the kick i think and it might have been the saints i might have gotten a few key things wrong about that game i wonder if you

then went like outside because my memory is probably that was the morning game and then

i'm guessing the seahawks played the later game oh i'm sorry i'm talking about um i'm talking about the missed kick when you and I were in the Westie I right but I'm saying don't you think

wasn't that because what I remember from that was there was a lot of Cleveland there was the Cleveland bar but then my my thought was oh man that's a bummer that the Browns lost for Andrew but I've still got the Seahawks in my back pocket oh that could have been it yeah I'm wondering if there was a Seahawks game that day and I'm wondering if you were like I need to go get

some air like I wonder how you handled that there are you know and you and I have I watched a lot of games at that Westie bar and also and I remember a couple with you there too so I'm probably confused I'm probably just confusing my my sports stories I just remember one and I don't know if you were there or not but I just remember it was one of those years where the Cleveland Browns were knocking on the door not knocking on the door of the playoffs but just knocking on the door of not being an absolute disaster and then I think we find I feel like who was the running

back Tank Johnson or who was the guy that dropped a pass okay this is just happening oh oh I remember watching that it was like and you guys were about to win a game at the end of the season and a guy dropped like a six yard yes like screen pass that would have probably secured the game and it just

it would have meant like the most cleveland yeah it led to the it led to the un it led to the season where they did not the very last play of the season where they ended up not winning any games at all ended with yeah fumbled pass by i can't remember the receiver's name i felt like it was

a running back i thought it was like tank johnson or something was he ever even a cleveland brown was there even a person named is it a gi joe i used to play with that doesn't ring a bell to me

no i'm pretty sure it was a wide receiver i remember i was in i remember where i was watching that play i was in hawaii watch i was on vacation i was ruining my hawaiian vacation by being inside watching that on a shitty stream on my laptop and then that's how the season ended see and you see

like that was that was only ruining your time in hawaii and now if that were to happen today your time in hawaii would be unruined by this whole thing yes oh the oh you know what the

browns also ruined another hawaiian uh sunday for me when um we let green bay uh beat us about i don't know probably like five years ago i'll never forget that i'll never forget those scars either

as i was i had to like leave the limit maybe just limit it maybe just watch one quarter yeah well And that's the new rule. Only one quarter a Sunday. And then things can't get out of hand.

We were going whale watching. And I remember, like, I'm like, I'll just start the game at home, and then I'll stop at the condo. And then I'm like, I'm doing that thing where I'm like following the game on my, that's right, we're in the bright sun. Genevieve is like securing our tickets for the whale watching. I'm like sitting under like some partially covered, like little tented area. So the glare is reduced. Smoke coming out of my ears while I'm watching on my phone. a terrible and then eventually just getting on the boat and losing cell reception why isn't that

the worst when you because this is what happens with me and becca now i not as much but like and again viva is also a sports fan but like it's it's weird like during the mariner season or something where i'll be kind of like half watching on my phone literally just monitoring the cartoon version where it's like the pitches you know and then it's like something happens and it gives me a really bad emotional feeling becca's just living her life she's just like we're going somewhere We're on a walk, or we're about to go get dinner or whatever, playing with the cats. And it's like, I'm now in foul temper because of this bullshit that I've chosen to interact with. And it's like, I have to then try to get myself out of that mood because I'm with this lovely person who's not in foul temper because they have not chosen to make this the centerpiece of their damn life.

It was Corey Coleman who dropped the pass from, wait for it, Luke, the person you referenced. Hold on, Tim Couch? nope but you referenced this person you said yesterday in a text message to me the browns would do better with almost literally sean kaiser any quarterback except for this one that's right friends deshaun kaiser oh man here i go once again with the email every week i hope that it's from a female no man it's not from a female all right an email or a v-mail yeah i've

sort of

struggling with whether or not to play this story because it's not the happiest story involving animals and i know that our listeners are sometimes a little bit sensitive to stories involving animals where everything doesn't work out um perfectly but um anna did submit this voicemail i think a week or two ago when you were talking about sort of a um disastrous decision you had made with a couple of beta fish that you collected at a wedding and you put them in the same bag or bowl together right and

that didn't that doesn't yeah and then really the story the story was about my weird thing of if there's something free that's for everyone but there's excess of it i want to like hoard it for myself like these were the centerpiece of a wedding like take a fish bowl home with one of these fish in it and i thought well two fish would be even better and i didn't understand that these you know fish were gonna fight it out in the bowl and one was gonna be gone the next day yeah and i

Well, I guess I just didn't know. I mean, I guess I'd heard of fighting fish before, but I guess I just didn't know much about this world.

Hey, dudes. Just listening to Luke's story about wedding betta fish, and that reminded me of my own little story. This is Anna in Seattle. There are multiple. I got a betta fish, a beautiful blue betta fish, when I was in elementary school, and I had that little thing in a bowl for years and years and years. and then after my mom got a divorce and i was in high school she was bored i suppose and she got the wild hair to buy a second fish and she bought a special beta fish tank which means it was two separate vessels that had in the center kind of like a blinder um and you could remove this opaque blinder so the fish would look at each other but they weren't able to get into each other's side of the tank but it would force them to become activated and flare up you know so they would like use their plumage uh in luke's words and one day she left the blinder open and i woke up to get ready for school in high school my newest fish is easily seven years old wow and my fish had swamped out of the top of its tank its side of the tank and committed suicide because it was so stressed out because my mom bought a vanity fish anyway oh out and rip yeah you know maybe

i shouldn't have ended the show on such a bummer i want to know what that fish's name was anna will

get back to us. I hope it's had a cool name like Donatello or something. Rest in power, Donatello.

Exactly. You know what? Can we do a little... I wanted to share that story, Anna. Well-told story. My heart breaks for you, but I don't want to end the show with that. Let's end with something a little bit more cheery from listener Molly, and then we'll

get out of here. Okay. Hi, this is Molly with a Y. I wanted to sing you my dog song. It goes like this.

Oh, dog, you are my dog. And I will ever love you Oh, dog, you are my dog And I will ever serve you

This is definitely a worship song.

I think that one will really speak to Luke's evangelical roots. I was going to say.

I thought it was the Titanic song at first.

Yeah, I knew from like... That, by the way, is not a song we sang in the church, but I knew from the first note that this is a worship song that has been converted to be—and, you know, it's a clever bit of reversal, because I'm sure it was like, my God, oh my God, just put God in everywhere she was singing Dog. Sure. I think that's pretty much the song. I wonder what faith, what particular brand of Christianity or evangelical life that song comes from, because that was not—I don't know how that one—I missed that on my radar. Hey, I have an email from listener Danny, our buddy Danny, who says, so remember our friend Varenique and D'Artagnan and how they've been kind of going through it because of the hurricane and they're moving somewhere else. We played a voicemail from her kind of updating. And she was talking about the place they're moving and how it's spelled one way but pronounced another way. And I believe it's in, I want to say it's in Louisiana. And I thought it was, or maybe it's in Texas. I thought that she was talking about the place called Nachadochitz. and there's actually I guess two places one is Natchadoches and one is however it was Veronique was saying it and Danny said just FYI Natchadoches is about an hour south of Shreveport and was the setting for Steel Magnolias Natchadoches is over in Texas near Lufkin so I don't know I might have been completely on the wrong city with that whole thing I just wanted to say

I do know for whatever it's worth Veronique was moving to the New Orleans location because she specifically said New Orleans

Yeah, the south of Shreveport.

and the setting for steel magnolias presumably she definitely said new orleans yeah so okay okay good good well i had that much right but all right i don't know danny wanted to declare i just i don't know if i've actually cleared anything up with that but when i saw that email from danny natchadoches nacadoches i was like whatever this means it means i did it wrong so i wanted to just i want to just apologize i wanted to apologize to the listeners to the american people to the residents of both texas and louisiana i think we're getting confused i think that's fair also

i just while while you're mentioning that i wanted to shout out a listener john who's in asheville who also wrote to us just like really thick of things i've got an email from him i just saw that email and so i know it's really really tough out there so we're thinking of you and of course we're thinking of everybody in florida as you're as you're gearing up for this is it milton or whatever it's just such a rough time yeah i this is a weird thing for me to clarify

But I was thinking about this when I saw John's email, which was I had said on the show the other day that that we were kind of trying to sort of reach out to some folks that were at that time in the Carolinas, which was what was being featured in the news as maybe this sort of especially hard hit areas. And I think I said something like I'm trying to reach out to the donors. And I want to make everyone understand that's only because those are the only emails that we have.

Like, I don't want anyone to think donors, not listeners.

I might have said donors. I said I think I said like had John send me some emails and I would want to be really clear that that's only because those are the only emails that we have on people if we have anyone's email who's anywhere that's being affected by this I would like to try to reach out and make sure they're okay and I just you know this show is so weird Andrew because we just like say so much stuff most of it is about jib jab but like it's just like hours and hours of meaningless conversation and then just something will pop back in your brain at the most random time you'll be like wait a minute I'll be like I hope to God it didn't sound like I was prioritizing – it sounded like I was prioritizing somebody who had donated money to our show versus people that are just listeners to our show because everybody is important to us. I just wanted to be really clear. That's just because we only have a certain set of emails, and that's related to donations that we've received.

And that's also, though, it does sort of speak to your laziness because I have a list of listeners who I've been stalking for a long time who are not donors. I think it's a lack of imagination on my part. I've just been, I've been getting all kinds of personal information from these folks. I mean, there are, there are ways, Luke, if you're motivated, I'm just saying.

Some of it illegal, some of it not. Sure. Hey, tomorrow, Andrew, we actually now have a lot to talk about tomorrow. I do want to talk about, I do want to break into the true crime podcasting genre. And also I want to get your thoughts on an interaction I've been having even while we've been doing today's show with the place that I ordered a jacket from. And I think, I worry this is a new vanguard in charges that are being applied to online ordering. I'm already angry. I was totally unfamiliar with this until it happened to me. And tomorrow we'll talk about that too. So please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday again. hope you are doing all right and are safe and are able to get to where you need to be if you're down in florida right now um we will be thinking about you and uh and sending our best so all right we'll be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio in the meantime please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

god bless america i've had it i've had it with sucking why do we have to put up with this when are we gonna hold these people accountable when when when when power out