Muse

Listen, wife's going out tonight, I'm gonna have the guys over, we're gonna watch the fish on the big screen, I'm gonna grill up some brats. I got a micro brew chilling in my wet bar and I was gonna warm up some ziti. Why don't you come by if you got some triple-fried pizza dough or some kind of frozen meatballs or whatever it is, you can warm it up in my microwave or you can warm it up back at home. Bring it over pipe and hop and if you want to bring over a vegetable medley, a crudite, figure out how much lunch meat you can spare, maybe bring over pound and a half, two pounds of black forest ham, maybe a Dijon mustard bread any kind of dessert maybe a german chocolate cake or something like that i tell you what would make you a big hit with the dudes is get some key lime pie ala mode i'm talking about ice cream on the side right and you i've got to have a bite of my homemade ziti i'm just gonna warm her up she's been in the freeze uh thanks for the invite but you know i love her those hot mozzarella sticks cube them up put them in some marinara sauce you have them on standby of course you can't You can't go wrong with some sour cream and onions so long as you're bringing ridged chips. Yeah. TBTL!

Okay T-Bone, time for some serious crunching. I've only ever said I love you to two men my entire life. Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's 10 o'clock in the morning.

I'm in the Charleston Town Center Mall, and I think I'm the first one in this bathroom this morning. It's perfectly clean.

So look, why don't you download my blog? It's free. Of course we do appreciate donations.

Anybody know what this is? Huh? All of this is the digestive system. And now we're going to have a couple of guys who's going to give us a presentation about what happens when the digestive system isn't working properly.

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. It's an audiophiles nightmare. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. As Jay would say, he's got flow. Coming to you from the corner of Hollywood and Highland. California got sunshine. Here in Hollywood, California, where California don't got sunshine right now. California got a lot of fog, which hopefully will burn off. Because it was promised to be a nice day, and I am looking forward to it. Looking forward to getting a little sunshine down here in Southern California. Although, as the pharmacist was giving me my most recent course of antibiotics to deal with my infected tear duct, she said, just try to stay out of the sun. And, of course, we were in Longview, Washington, so that didn't seem like a big ask. I didn't mention to her that I was going to be down here at the corner of Hollywood and Highland. So, anyway, I guess I'll see what happens. I know what's going to happen here on episode 4,352 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. It's going to be fascinating. Did you know that 2024 was the year of the sort of celebrity lookalike contest?

Look at this face. What do you see?

Tons and tons of these celebrity lookalike contests popping up all over with various degrees of success. Something I've been very successful at lately is my CAPTCHA game. You know what a CAPTCHA is? Welcome to the internet. Where you have to, like, click on, like, all the pictures that have a motorcycle in them or something. I've taken mine to a completely—I'm in a flow state with my CAPTCHA, which we can talk about. It's also a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day.

Spoiler's Day today.

We'll do the Blur's Day messages with this guy. Longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. we had our staff meeting yesterday uh he and i and john sklaroff and we decided that he needs to start dressing a little more professionally and i'm really glad he is starting today dressing a little bit more for success check him out too he look good we're all black looking like bruce wayne he's andrew welsh and he's joining me right now good morning my friend

i am dressed like i belong in the matrix movie i am wearing a long there is no spoon oh is that from the matrix I shouldn't make matrix references because I don't well I think I saw it once on on VHS or DVD and I remember not liking it very much and being kind of annoyed well yeah listen I I don't think that I I'm not saying here in 2024 that that is a bad movie or that I don't like it I don't know all I know is in college I had a friend who was bloody obsessed with it. I mean, just obsessed with it. And the guy I really, really liked, by the way, this wasn't a guy who, like,

formed his life around the identity of a character in Matrix. He was a philosophy major, and he felt like some of the philosophy in there was really mind-bending or whatever. And I had been hearing about this movie, I feel like, for a couple of years, breathlessly, from my friend Scott. And then I finally sat down to watch it with him and another friend. I remember it was his apartment in North Bend, Indiana or something, and it was late at night, and we sat down to watch it. And I remember just being annoyed. I was probably just annoyed at other things. But I remember just thinking, like, this is, it didn't live up to the hype for me. It seemed, like, pretty pedestrian at the time. But I was also a huge snob. I was just, I don't understand why people hang out with me, honestly, especially that version of me. So, anyway, my apologies for ringing it up.

Yeah, I mean, Andrew, listen, do you realize that I am right now broadcasting from the City of Dreams, Hollywood, California? So anything you say that's critical of a major box office success, it hits me on a personal level today.

I have a direct line to Tinseltown right now. Yes, you do.

So don't ruin it by alienating me and the other Matrix fans. Actually, I think I've seen the Matrix once. I think that I was impressed with the filmmaking, like the, you know, special effects. Oh, yeah, the bending over. And I did think that the—see, little has changed from that time in North Bend, Indiana. By the way, I didn't know there was both a North and a South Bend, Indiana. Maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe it was South Bend.

Was it where Notre Dame is?

I feel like it was where Notre Dame is. Is that South Bend? That's the South. Oh, sorry, buddy. Wait, wait, hold on. I remember you had to, this isn't going to help you, but I remember I had to drive through Gary, Indiana from Kento, Ohio.

Gary, Indiana.

Right, because Gary, Indiana, I always knew it from the song, but then you drive through it, and it's a very industrial area now, right? Like you drive to Gary in Indiana on the highway and you see like big smokestacks and everything.

Yeah, it's also where the Jackson 5 was from. Oh, I'm going back to Indiana. Indiana, here I come. That was a big hit for them. But yeah, I think probably there was a few things happening for you in the watching of that movie, which has totally happened to me as well, which is if there is so much hype around a movie and if it's been a long time since the movie was released, there's just no way to watch it with an open mind i feel like if if in 2024 you and genevieve grabbed some grabbed some popcorn went into a standard movie theater where the seats do not recline no one's trying to pretend like it's their house and you saw the matrix you might find it enjoyable um but i think it had no chance of success with you based on all of the hype which i totally understand people were acting like that like it was a new religion or something that movie and that you know whatever it was did they end up doing three of them i think they did i think they did yeah i mean the idea that we're in a simulation and i mean i do think i don't even know if that falls under the category of philosophy or just um science fiction or what thought experiment but i i do remember thinking that is a kind of interesting idea you know are we in a simulation and i think probably a lot of people myself included hadn't considered that much um because I don't read a lot of sci-fi and things where I'm sure that this was discussed a lot. So The Matrix brought that to the front of my mind, and I thought, well, that's kind of an interesting idea.

Yeah. You know, first of all, we are in a simulation, and that is why every now and then listeners may hear a tiny little digital chirp on your voice. It's actually not bad, Luke. I'm not saying that to get in your head, but I'm thinking that if I can tell the listeners that you're— Then you don't have to edit it. Then you're on the road, then the tiniest amount of digital distortion here and there will um be explained and i don't have to like kind of yes because i think it's generally a very good recording today i'm just getting out ahead of that i also thank you smart and lazy that'd be the name of my uh la based grocery store chain smart and lazy smart and lazy um i am speaking of grocery stores i am now like literally as you were doing the intro i realized oh i could tell you a story about my day yesterday that involves me and my neighborhood and a roller coaster of emotions and a little bit of stamping a little bit of stamping from i'm i'm all ears

and by the way this has the makings of the next hit screenplay andrew that's right that's what let's get you a meeting with some high-level producers but here's the deal i'm being kind

of sincere about this because i i kind of woke up this morning i realized oh yeah i kind of ruined my day a little bit yesterday with my attitude um and and i kind of think i didn't want to talk about it but now that i'm awake a few hours i'm like oh you know i could tell you about this and it could be tbtl related but i'm also sincere when i say it could wait until tomorrow like you're you're down there in la if you have more uh pressing things on the agenda my friend uh a week i really don't make this okay Okay. All right, sounds good. I didn't want to step on any.

I was going to tell you about the water dispenser in the Lowe's Hollywood Hotel gym and how I think it should be redesigned. That was what I was bringing to the table. And I think your story is a much more interesting, more kind of lived experience that I want to hear about.

I was really hoping you were going to say something specifically and how I believe it should be raised by three inches.

Well, what it shouldn't be, Andrew, is touchless. It shouldn't be touchless. oh yeah because so it's it's one of those things where it's got you know a button for hot water it's not it's like a touch screen and one side indicates if you want hot water like who's ever getting hot water in the gym at the hotel but okay then the other one is cold water and i looked to the side of this machine and there was probably eight like little plastic you know disposable cups that all had about a quarter inch of water in them like they'd all been kind of discarded and I thought that's weird and then I put my cup in there and then I went to hit the button for cold water and then about an eighth of an inch of water came up and then I was like huh and then I hit it again and about an eighth of an inch of water came out and then I hit it again and an eighth of an inch of water came out and it took me a good 10 minutes to figure out because they're trying to be antibacterial because they're trying to be high end if you actually touch the cold water thing it turns it off but if you hover your finger over it touchlessly it turns it on so you're constantly if you don't know better you think you're turning it on because you're hitting it with your finger but it's only being activated for the nanosecond before your finger contacts

the surface it is so counterintuitive what you need to get is one of those cans of aerosol spray like you're a cat burglar and spray it around exactly where the where the lasers so uh i would

just say um that's one of those things that is good in you know in theory oh you know we don't want people uh you know having to touch other people's grimy fingerprints but in practice clearly eight people had been defeated by this machine before i got there are you feeling a

little bit proud that you cracked the code though did you look at those other cups and you're like

I feel like I'm finally ready to take the LSAT, because it was a logic problem.

Well, either that or get the cheese. I mean, one of the two.

Honestly, I am so hungry right now, and that intro that you played, I wanted to, you know, it's a joke, obviously, the things Tim Heidecker's character is saying, but I was like, I would eat that, I would eat that, I would eat that. I got into the hotel kind of late last night, it was like 10.30, and I have a pretty big day today. So I was like, I need to just pretty much, uh, get ready for bed. And, uh, I was, I was hungry, but I was like, you know, if I go downstairs and get some food or I door dash something or whatever, it's not going to get here to like 1130. It's really late to be eating. I'm going to feel kind of lowgy tomorrow. I'm just going to go to sleep, which is what I did. But what that meant was when you started playing that intro, I was like, I would actually, I would seriously, I would probably, you know, crawl over broken glass to get some baked ziti right now.

I don't know even exactly what baked ziti is, but I know that I would tuck into it.

It's really good. I had it at Thanksgiving. My sister-in-law, Alicia, made it, and it was so, so good.

Is it, like, I always pictured it as very small noodles, but maybe I'm wrong. Are they long, flat noodles that you lay down?

These ones were kind of tubular, dude.

Oh, neither. Okay, yeah.

What do you call that kind that's like a sort of a regular, regular-sized tube, whatever that means? It's a ziti.

Yeah, I mean, I think. It's a ziti, I think. guessing ziti is the shape of the pasta yeah it looks like that's it so okay yeah i just had it totally wrong yeah these are the kind that you can kind of you can poke it with your fork or if you're feeling nasty you can kind of slip a couple of tines down one of these things maybe or two of these things maybe wiggle it would recommend yeah okay so back to the back to the

grocery store or i should say back to the stampiness yeah so this all started yesterday

I needed a haircut pretty bad, pretty badly. And it's been driving me kind of bananas. And I told you a couple of months ago, I get my haircut maybe a couple of months, I think, every two months or so. So I think it was probably a couple of months ago that I told you I broke my long, long-held tradition of going to Rudy's Barbershop. Because, you know, I have to drive to get there, and it's just gotten very expensive. And while I do not begrudge the barbers there needing to charge what they need to charge, like my hair is just not that complicated. So to, you know, spend $65 before tip or so to get my haircut just wasn't really making sense. And I'm like, you know, there's a little barbershop called Unique Barbershop or something in the Oak Tree Village near my house. And they say they take walk-ins. What if I just walked in and just got my just got trimmed up a little bit? And I did that last time.

And I really liked it. So I went back again yesterday and I kind of knew I was going to. I sort of had it kind of vaguely circled on my calendar, knowing how my afternoon would look. And I was like, OK, yeah, I'll go get my hair cut. And then I thought, oh, even though it's so close and it'd be a nice little walk, I love walking around the neighborhood. I was like, oh, I guess I got to drive there because then I got to go to the grocery store afterwards, go to the QFC, my beloved QFC. I'm like, oh, but there was something that kind of bummed me out about having to get in the car. I just love the idea that this place is walkable to me. And I think I was getting ready to literally leave the house when I remembered today is the 4th. Today is December 4th. The new grocery store is open. The new grocery store is open in that same plaza, which now has a coffee shop, a sports bar, and my new barber shop, although it's been there for a while. It's new to me.

And what used to be Larry's Market when I was a kid, which was considered real high end.

And then it became more of a sort of, I think, like Latin base and maybe Asian market, I think, for a while. And people love that, too, because to have access to that is great. But I don't think they were making much money. It fell into further and further disrepair. And by the time we moved in the neighborhood, going to that market, which now I'm blanking on the name of it and it doesn't really matter, it was a pretty depressing experience, to be honest with you. It was a huge, huge space that they just couldn't keep up anymore. And it felt a little apocalyptic in there, to be honest, and I'm sorry if that's rude. So I never really took advantage of that store very much, but then it closed for the longest time, and we heard that a new store was going to be moving in. And I was originally hoping for, like, something standard, like, you know, QFC or Safeway, the types of places I usually go. But we heard, and Genevieve got very excited about this. Genevieve started yelling, we're going to get SARS! We're going to get SARS! which is a strange thing to hear your beloved say until you realize she's talking about SARS Super Saver, which is apparently the name of this chain of budget grocery stores.

Is that a Georgia chain that she's familiar with?

I don't know. It's now here in Seattle, Washington. SARS, I believe it's spelled with two R's, Super Saver. Let's look at the background here. It's SARS Super Saver Foods. By the way, on the signage here, they really de-emphasize the SARS and lean into the Super Saver, which I really recommend.

It's weird that Leprosy Market never made it.

It is.

I mean, they had a great deal on produce and a lot of really good fresh stuff.

Yeah, I was going to the H1N1 Mart for the longest time. And honestly, I don't know. It started to, it didn't feel so great after a while. But anyway, yeah, so I don't know what the background on SARS is, but I see that they are a chain. There's several of them in Washington alone. I see there's one out there in Bainbridge even. And so, you know, it's presumably a budget grocery store. And so I didn't really know what to expect, but I've been pretty excited about it because the idea of walking to a grocery store is a pretty it's pretty high on my list of urban living. Like I love when I lived in Capitol Hill. That was the first time I got to like walk to the grocery store at the QFC and walk home. What are you laughing at?

I am at the SARS Super Saver Foods dot com website. Yeah, it is move over Space Jam website. It is a time machine. Please, Andrew, while you're discussing this spot, contact us. Facebook, employment, shopping list.

There's a huge square that you can click on to get to their Facebook page. Facebook. Yeah, this is interesting. But anyway, so I really like having a grocery store you can walk to. I was hoping it would be more of the type of place I usually go, and I didn't know what to expect with a Super Saver. I'm sorry. A SARS Super Saver. By the way, it doesn't help that up at the top of the website is a big banner for COVID-19 vaccines available, which is good. Yeah, it's a picture of like a syringe.

It's a stock. It's like a clip art of a syringe. SARS. Here's a syringe. But anyway.

Check out Friendster us to get this syringe at SARS. What?

See you on Ello. Anyway, so I've been really excited for this grocery store to open. And Genevieve way more excited than me because I'm kind of like, I don't know if this is going to be the kind of grocery store I'm going to go to or not. But on our neighborhood text chain, we've been getting more and more excited. Our friends, there's a lot of grocery store talk on the Wordle chain now. I don't even think I've been submitting my Wordle scores to the chain anymore. It's mostly like grocery store talk and like event planning at this point. But everybody is getting pretty excited about the store opening up. And it did look like, oh, this is going to be more of a kind of like a little bit more of a world market. It looks like they might even sell, like, whole goats there or something, or you might be able to get them through there if you're, like, in Eastern Europe. Live goat? No, not live. I'm sorry. For Eaton's. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, for, like, special occasions or what have you.

Huh. Wow. And so anyway, so the Croatian factor amongst our friend group was pretty excited about that. So there's a lot of rumors going around. Anita can't stop spit roasting goats. Honestly, like that was a big thing that her dad always did, I think, on special occasions. So anyway, so we're all pretty jazzed about it. It was supposed to open, I think, a couple of weeks ago. Kept getting delayed. Yesterday, I'm getting in my car or I'm about to get in my car. And I'm thinking, oh, it would be nice if I could just walk to get my hair cut and then go to the grocery store. but i gotta drive because i gotta go to qfc later then i was like oh holy shit today's the fourth the new grocery store is open i can do this i texted the friend group i'm like you guys i was about to get in my car and then i realized i can walk to the barber leave the barber go to the grocery store grab the few things on my list which was literally like out of a uh storybook well i guess the six pack of beer is not of a storybook but it was like i literally needed like a couple of apples a loaf of bread and i think a six container of milk yeah i did i wish i had those on there unfortunately i didn't just to complete the scene i'm like this is just going to be great so i grab my backpack i go get my hair cut amazing job this guy was so meticulous with my hair and then trimmed my beard honestly i'd never had my beard trimmed before but he just kind of kept going and said you want me to trim the beard i'm like yeah clean it up a little bit he cut it pretty short I'm a little embarrassed I gotta go somewhere later today it's

luckily I can't see you because of our connectivity today camera's off

he gave me the beard trimming of a younger fitter man he doesn't understand as we say on this show my beard is a face hider as the famous song goes and this is more like kind of a oh this is a beard to accentuate the angles

kind of like a five o'clock shadow with some nice little sculpting around the jawline

if I open up my camera can you see me? This does no good you don't have to turn on yours

it does good for me I'm watching I actually like it, I think it looks nice

but look at this and now I'm not even talking to the listener but shaved down pretty angularly down kind of where my cheeks meet like my mustache this has waves I mean if I were again a young fit man going to the club like maybe this would be a little bit better right so in the club we all fam but still he probably spent i don't know he was so meticulous with my hair i mean that in kind of a good way because i get a scissor you know i always say scissor short don't you know don't shave me down don't turn me into an astronaut don't buzz me um i didn't use that

i'm sure this guy from wherever he might be from originally has a great context for don't make me

look like an astronaut yeah i said don't make me look like a cosmonaut no sir i uh i uh no i didn't give that i didn't give him that line but uh my point is he was so painstakingly careful uh at at grooming my my hair and my beard and they charged me 35 i was like i could not believe it i think a beard trim would be probably i'm guessing would be probably extra at a place like

rudy's so anyway and then you walked right across the parking lot and you got boneless beef chuck

shoulder roast for 469 a pound close i walked right across the parking lot and i took a photo of a huge sign outside that said cheap chicken thursdays or something what did it say i was

tempted to get myself they're advertising at the sars saving center maybe i'll take maybe i'll use

this as a show pick what did it say yeah no i had it right cheap chicken thursday four legs four

five is $5.99 fried chicken overpay for chicken is one of one of the things that my mother taught

me um right before she died of salmonella of SARS um bird flu um but anyway so I was actually

kind of excited about that I'm really curious about this place because the way you're describing it makes it sound like it is kind of has a sort of international flair go deaf and maybe they have lots of products from from different parts of the world that are maybe hard to find in a more typical supermarket, which is kind of a cool, interesting spin. When I start seeing the super savings, I start thinking of something along the lines of a grocery outlet, which I have to say, like I have darkened the door of a grocery outlet fairly recently. But my problem with it is it's like the Ross dress for less of food. You will find great deals on things, but then you will never be able to find that thing again for a great deal i was in the grocery outlet i don't know a year ago and they had i really like this um athletic brewing na beer stuff and uh it's not cheap it's like 12 for a 12 pack maybe that's standard but it seems like it's more than the real beer which kind of feels like come on how much for a 12 pack i want to say it's 11.99 for a 12 pack is that is that

Is that on the higher end?

Well, actually, let's table that. More on that later.

Okay, so one time I went in there, and it was a screaming deal, and I was like, holy smokes, this is now where I'm going to go to get this, and they've never had the product again. I went in the other day. I was getting some Thai food. I love this place called Mali Thai Cafe, and they're right next to a grocery outlet. So I was waiting for my Thai food, and I thought, I'm going to get me a couple of those athletic brewings that i love so much and i'm gonna have my thai food and have my na beer and i go in and i was like do you guys have that athletic brewing and the guy's like never heard of it so that's the issue with some of those places i'm not saying that's how sars super savers is but i'll be curious to hear because i you're such a you're a you know you're a man of rituals andrew and you like to get what you like to get so the grocery store is going to need to have you know it's going to need to have a steady supply of whatever it is you go there for for this to kind of fulfill

your typical needs yeah and that's what i always said i don't want to be a snob about it but like i was hoping for what i what i keep on calling like one of the big more like kind of traditional grocery store chains around here because like i i don't want to get like meals ketchup you know what i mean like i want to get i want to get high you don't want to be buying seven you want to be buying heinz right like i i like heinz no it ain't heinz It ain't Heinz. It ain't Hunt and it ain't Heinz. It ain't Heinz. Yeah, and I, you know, because I'm kind of locked into that stuff. Like, I want my, what is it, like my fresh step cat litter, you know, like I just, I'm sort of locked into certain name brands. Nothing fancy, but just like kind of name brands. You like what you like. I like what I like. So anyway, when Genevieve was talking about this being like kind of a, you know, a discount grocery store, I'm like, I don't really know. I'm not somebody who shops at at grocery outlet. I know Genevieve was a fan of that during when I think she lived near one for a while. So anyway, I don't shop at discount grocery stores much. I was a little bit. I was kind of like, oh, when I heard that that was going to be a SARS, I was, as you might guess, a little disappointed. But then as the day is approached, I've gotten more and more excited, at least to see what's in there, because it is such a huge space. And yeah, much like the barber, the fact that they were taking so long to renovate and get this place, I kind of, you know, switched hands like it was encouraging. It wasn't like something was sitting there for a long time undeveloped. They were working on it for a really long time and it needed a lot of work. And so anyway, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm like, this is this is the neighborhood dream. You walk, you get your hair cut at the local barber, you walk across the parking lot, you go, you grab some bread and some beer and some apples and you go home.

The guy that's working at the grocery store is an older, completely bald man wearing an apron. That's right. His name is Sam. He says, hey, Andrew. Like, you know.

His name was Mr. Hooper, I believe. Was that the name of the guy? Yes. Sesame Street?

From Sesame Street.

Yeah. I remember, you know, he passed away and they addressed it on the show. And I had, remember those little Fisher Price toys? Like the toy sets where the little characters didn't have arms. They were like little pegs. Can you picture those? So they're just like a head and a peg. I had a Mr. Hooper, one of those, because I had like a like 1970s era Sesame Street playhouse sort of that it would open up and it would be sort of become the street. It had like brownstones and then like a little window that Mr. Hooper could you could put him back there and he could like serve groceries through this like window to the sidewalk. And like I remember like kind of being a bit wistful as a kid playing with my Mr. Hooper knowing that he had passed away not not traumatized in any way but sort of like having this realization that this character I was playing with was no longer with us in real life I watched so much

Sesame Street as a kid because we had one little black and white TV and of course we didn't have cable at the time and my parents were very worried about anything that was worldly but they decided that PBS stuff was okay. And like, for instance, I didn't go to first grade. I, um, I kind of sort of went half went to kindergarten and then just didn't go to school for first grade. And then in second grade, they took me to the public school and the people there said, well, he didn't go to first grade, so he needs to do that. And they put me in first grade. And then I guess it was a little bit easy for me. So they finally bumped me up the second grade. My mom was telling this story at thanksgiving as a testament to her pedagogy to her educational skills that she had imparted so much knowledge in me in first grade that i was able to you know basically stay uh you know on the right timeline based on my age like she was basically saying when he showed up and for first grade they made him go to first grade he was so smart they said what have you been teaching him and i said mom that was sesame street okay don't don't get it twisted that was 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 Like everything that I need

to learn about phonics and counting and being friends with someone who lives in a garbage can i learned all of it from sesame and just think years later you would meet me and that was the

perfect that was the perfect training i mean i i could not have known how well a grouchy guy who

rarely sees the light he just occasionally emerges from the can to go the matrix was overrated and then he just lowers back down into the can.

It's funny because it's true. So anyway, this little grouch was in a really good mood. Actually, that's the perfect setup for how the story's about to turn. I was in a great little mood. I forgot there was a turn. Yeah, you're like, oh. And then Andrew had a nice day at the supermarket. So I'm going in and it's like I'm excited to see people. It's busy. People are coming and going. And you can tell right from the doors, like, you know, sliding glass doors, big doors like you it really did kind of had an effect on me I was like wow this place is huge like it looks so sparkling and new and clean and fully stocked and I there are a lot of reasons I love a grocery store and one of them I sort of realized during and after the the pandemic as I sort of reflect on these things is because of I think the sense of plentifulness yeah um and I I don't I never thought about that before the pandemic, but certainly seeing like the empty shelves, like this almost scary empty shelves of my local grocer during the pandemic gave me such a bad feeling that I think about it a lot when I'm in a grocery store today. And then I see like full shelves and I think about how lucky I am and how lucky we are. And it gives me a sense of everything is maybe going to be OK because there is no scarcity, which is, you know, a lot of a lot of people in the world don't have that sense, you know. So anyway, I'm sort of like, oh, wow, I'm excited to be walking in here. Right as I'm walking in and I'm taking a few steps. Oh, I go to grab a basket. I grab a basket. They're brand new, Luke. They're brand new and sort of a bright orangey yellow color that I love. I'm grabbing it. And then a security guard, you know, the security guards who are dressed up in like black pants and like one of those vests that looks. And again, like I wouldn't want to be a security guard. And there's a lot of shit that goes down around here. Like, I don't want to like deny that. like i understand you need a security guard probably at this grocery store but he comes up to me he's like and he wasn't rude but he was just like yay you can't bring uh backpacks in here can you just like put that over there or something he kind of points i'm like what he's like yeah it's right there it's on the door and i'm like oh but like i i need my backpacker i'm like where do you want me to put this and he's like over there and he kind of point but there's no bag check you know what i mean there's no security or anything it's just like he sort of you're supposed to put it in a pile of there were no there were no other possessions there he i just said and he just sort of pointed vaguely towards like a you know like the the the end of the checkout place one of the checkout places i'm like what and so i'm like oh so i and first of all i have such a hair trigger at being told what to do i think especially by security guards i don't know why this is my own it's not it's not rational it's not logical and it's certainly not a good look but i think it goes back um i remember just even to being in high school and like you know a cop kicking us out of the park right as the sun was setting and we're supposed to be there until dusk or whatever just like just feeling like sometimes people in in in in these positions

of power can just sort of get off on that power i don't think i know that that is not what was happening in this case but i just revert back to like being a childish stubborn little brat and i'm just so i turn my back and i put the i put the basket back and i and i and i leave the store for a second i can i ask a quick question yeah what was in the backpack well let me defer that question for a moment along with the beer thing um because the answer is nothing but it's the principle because that is part of the conversation i want to have um because because that is a big part of the story it's like what was i mad about in the moment and what was it more that i was mad about how i saw my future days in my neighborhood because sure there was not nothing really of value in my bag a few my usual things like a battery i like to i always keep like kind of uh um an extra from our away baggage the battery that you can the lithium battery you're not supposed to fly with yeah i always keep that in there with a couple of cords in case i need to charge my phone like i just always have my bag with me and i think well if i'm going out and i don't know exactly when i'm coming home and i find myself in a coffee shop or whatever and my phone is dying i like to know that i can plug it in but there was nothing really in this backpack actually empty on purpose because i was planning on putting groceries in there you know i mean that that was the point i didn't take my bag to the barber shop i wouldn't have taken my bag to the barber shop i don't need it in there. So anyway, I immediately text the friend group I'm like, I just immediately am pouty I'm just like, they won't allow backpacks It's a bad policy I'm like, I don't know if I'm going back in They won't allow long rifles I'm dressed like Russell Wilson In that video we were referencing at the beginning In his black trench coat, all dressed in all black

I don't see the problem

But, you know I'm just like, I'm put off for a bunch of different reasons Also the fact that I know that A lot of people in the neighborhood Do have to live on the streets They do have to carry bags around I know that people do steal from stores. I understand that it's in a store's best interest to not allow people to steal. I understand that logically. I also feel that some of these policies are in place to keep certain people out of stores. And it was just a roiling mix in a very short amount of time of a lot of my sensibilities being rattled in a way that I did not like. So I go outside. I send a grumpy text to the text chain saying, I don't know if I'm going back in. don't like this bag policy don't like being made felt like a criminal and then i think about it for a second i'm like what are my options here and then i i go back in i say to the guy can you tell me more about this policy he's like well it's right here and he's like pointing to to something on the door and i'm not standing in a position that i can see it and i'm like okay i'm not saying that it's not on the door i'm not trying to you know i seriously was not trying to give this guy a bunch of grief about it he was just doing his job and he wasn't he wasn't like super over the top friendly but he also was not rude like if i'm being honest about it i just don't like being told what to do and again in this particular instance it was a little bit triggering for me so i'm like well what about i'm like tell me more about this bag policy he's like well it's right here i'm like no no i'm like if i come back i'm like i live in the neighborhood i didn't drive here like if i come back can i bring a tote bag he's like well yeah well what's a tote bag he's like you mean like a duffel bag i'm like not like a duffel bag i'm like and i point they have some reusable like grocery bags from there i'm like that like a grocery bag he's like well yeah i think that would be fine and then i'm just like and so i just like leave the store sort of in a thing and he said i can't remember what he said as i was sort of like stamping away this is a classic andrew stamping moment stamping away moment i don't want you to leave i love to watch you stamp away uh he uh he says something again not mean towards me and i just yelled over my shoulder so me i just yelled it's not right i just yelled it's not right at what point did you physically morph into paul giamatti i literally yelled it's not right over my shoulder but now i'm like kind of going back home and i'm like now i have a decision to make like yeah i i've i've lost the battle now can i i'm sorry so yeah so let me go back to the also the bag so the bag was was empty but it did like i immediately did start thinking but my whole plan was like there are days where i can like throw my little laptop in here go to the coffee shop pilgrim coffee shop or whatever it is praise the lord we have like a christian run coffee shop in that little neighborhood but but i like it it's a nice place go over there drink a chai latte on a rainy day walk across the parking lot with my backpack throw a six pack and

a loaf of bread in their head home like that is that is the dream of the 90s what were you going

to say though well this is my question is is it really their solution to this problem is that you will just leave your backpack in an area where anyone could just grab it like is the backpack unsafe when when you when you were if you were to leave it because i could see a world in which they're like okay you gotta like check your backpack you gotta like leave it here but then there's somebody the security guy watches it or somebody actually watches it and then okay fine it's kind of annoying but you can wander around the store you can fill up a uh you know a um like a reusable grocery bag and then you annoyingly have to put it in your backpack as you're leaving but you're still getting that experience but if they're not guarding your backpack that's a terrible

system thanks for having my back on that thanks for having my backpack on that i uh that's how i feel too and like and because i've now i've had time to sort of digest this a little bit and calm down like in the moment i was just sort of seeing red and again this is not a seeing red situation for most people like it was just it just kind of like it just sort of shattered this whole little vision i had of my day and i get really locked into an idea actually that is something that you

kind of can oh my gosh listen i am so with you on this like maybe back maybe a backpack is not um you know the thing that would trigger this for me but this idea of a version of your life that can exist and a kind of you know i don't think you'll get this reference but it's sort of the opening scene in beauty and the beast where bell is just going around the town yeah and everyone's saying bonjour and it's like this this this idea that you've already kind of laid it out that you could be out in your neighborhood and and on foot and and anything that happens you know in terms of the commerce that you need to do is going to be totally fine and like genevieve says hey you know what we're out

of this and you swing by SARS super saver and grab it like that's a whole lifestyle that you felt like now suddenly is denied to you because of the backpack policy I totally get that experience

yeah and you know and we're talking about Sesame Street earlier kind of coincidentally but honestly it is like you know it's like my little Sesame Street vision of the world you know I grew up part of the reason I kind of like this sort of like being able to walk around my busy little dense neighborhood lifestyle is because i grew up in the country and all i wanted was to to live to live the opposite of that right i had a great childhood but i wanted to live in the city because i grew up in the country so anyway i i as i'm as i'm leaving this place i'm thinking like what is my plan here because now i'm going home i i didn't want to leave my backpack and and i guess i did want to follow up on your point and just say that like yeah they said well our policy is take it over to customer service right like okay but he's just like i don't know i kind of put it over there he wasn't annoyed he just said i i don't know like kind of put it over there somewhere

like i love the idea that they're like you know there's a we've been dealing with some crime in this neighborhood and we are concerned that there may be theft of our of our groceries so we need you to put your backpack somewhere where a thief could very easily grab it if you could have it as close to the front door as possible so that someone could nick it on their way out because

you know this is we've determined a high crime area right right and also and the truth is like you got me dead to rights on nothing being valuable in this bag and this bag not being valuable anymore i this is the bag that you and i got free from everlane i don't know if you got one but i chose it i mean this is this bag is the bag that i've been carrying around for i want to say 10 years but that might be a slight exaggeration but like a long damn time uh it's and it's getting kind of rough around the edges like i it's kind of like i wear it around i use it around the

neighborhood but like i love that this is both literal and emotional baggage yeah right right

no but what i'm saying is like if it did get stolen like i need a new bag i've been planning on getting a new bag like it's not like something precious to me and there was nothing precious in there there was some cough drops what if it's a different day but you've got your camera with you that's my thing yeah like well and like certainly a laptop i definitely could see myself throwing my laptop in here go in the coffee shop and then hitting the hitting the store on the way home and like the thing is this is a solvable thing the more we talk about it i think i might go back there with a backpack and maybe if this guy stops me and say well can i take it over i now know where customer service is because i saw it and i oh that reminds me wait i gotta tell you another super funny part of the story that just makes me look like an absolute loon those are the best parts right um but like now i know where customer service is i can say to him okay fine but let me take it to customer service and have them hold it and like just see how we can work this system because i'm immediately just fast forwarding to all the times that are now going to be ruined because i can't go to pilgrim coffee and then i totally get which is just like who knows if i'll ever even actually do that but um so but the moment is strange because i'm walking home and i'm gonna say it is i don't know maybe somewhere between a five and ten minute walk and it goes by really quickly when you're angry i'll tell you that much i don't even barely remember the walk Other than thinking like, well, then I guess I'm not walking back in there because I stamped away. You just floated home on a cloud of indignation. Of anger. And by the way, there's a church near me too who they have a sign out front. And unfortunately, it's one of those signs where you can change the letters, you know. And it used to be like kind of their front way was sort of a non-grass sort of little yard in front of the church. But it was filled with stones instead. Yep. And some asshole took a bunch of the stones like a year ago and just threw them at the sign on both sides. The story really, really pissed me off. But now they have a new sign and less aggressive landscaping that can't destroy the new sign. But what they put in the sign on both sides, and it has been that way for like half a year now, is hope is the anchor for the soul. And every time Genevieve and I pass that, we start workshopping that. We're like, hope should not be an anchor. hope should be something more uplifting yeah it's a balloon I understand that maybe you want to stay grounded hope is the anchor for the soul we need to do better than that

I also feel like souls are not the part of us that needs to be anchored hope is the balloon for the soul I'm not saying that's great but it works because your soul is sort of being pulled along by this thing, this balloon and maybe your your i don't know what your reality needs to be anchored your rationality but not your soul your soul should be untethered your soul should be able to go wherever it wants to go hope is the

nitrous oxide of the soul that's what i'm suggesting that to them nope is the anchor of our property values right exactly so i am in this conundrum of

do i go back home i gotta go back home anyway because i gotta get rid of the backpack right i've decided i'm not leaving it on the floor of the grocery store i'm just not i'm just not yeah submitting in that way no i get that so but now i'm like but how much do you cut off your own nose to spite your face because i gotta walk all the way back home now again let's just say it's like five six seven minutes and then do i get in the car and get in the shitty traffic to drive all the way to qfc i love my qfc but it's that this time of day like i'm gonna be sitting in traffic It's just like it's kind of the thing I don't like about being in my car, you know, not going far, but taking a long time to get there and and just like shitty rush hour sort of traffic in this neighborhood. So I'm like, do I go there? And I'm like, well, just go to the QFC or do I go to my car, throw my backpack in there, grab my tote bags and walk back? And I also say this carrying groceries on your back is much more pleasant than carrying groceries in two tote bags or a tote bag.

uh that you have to carry by your side do you know i have never considered the option of carrying groceries in a backpack that has never occurred to me yeah i've always assumed when i picture you on your little sesame street runs i somehow i always saw you with tote bags but no this has

all been going into a backpack well it is true you know i do have very distinct memories of when i lived on capitol hill when i was a younger man um walking to the qfc with two tote bags and then walking home like literally sometimes with a baguette sticking out of it like you're talking about like Ariel like yeah like and and I because I remember sometimes being like it was almost like a strength test like depending on what was in there you know what I mean like balancing both bags and knowing that you had to walk again maybe a 10 minute or back in the days of the plastic

bags if you had too much stuff and they're just cutting off the circulation in your fingers yeah no forget that yeah slowly garrotting your hands I think there was a good Baker Mayfield commercial

a while back where he was he's like showing I remember he lived in the stadium and yes and he's like showing up and he's trying to get into the main gate of the stadium but he's got like a million bags hanging off his fingers he's losing like blood flow so I end up going I'm like you know what screw it I'm going back I throw my backpack in the car I grab the tote bags and I stamp all the way back to the grocery store and I'm still sort of steaming about this policy I'm still borrowing trouble as we say sort of thinking about the future and what this one little but also sort of mad at myself sort of mad that i went from such a high high to such a grumpy low um and it also like how am i gonna make eye contact with the security guard am i gonna make not enough am i gonna intentionally make too much eye contact with are you gonna come in swinging both tote

bags like pinwheels right right right hands out just like yeah what do you got now dude am i and

this is something i consider am i going to try to carry these tote bags in a way that makes it look like i'm shoplifting as much as possible oh my god like i'm just not i don't even know where

i don't even know what that looks like journeys depart i don't even know what that looks like

it was just a passing notion i was just angry and frustrated and impotent um do you want to make your lovemaking joke there i think i think it's implied i think it's the implication so anyway i i go in i don't even i think the security guard was like maybe looking the other way or something so it's a it's a moot thing i go in with my two tote bags but then i see a guy luke who really is not unlike mr hooper he's got a big smile on his face he's walking really fast and it's like it's a real it's really shiny and clean and huge in there and a little bit buzzy but you know people doing their doing now i make my love making joke yeah shiny and clean and huge

really trying to do some reputational repair here on the old burbs love making a little bit of buzzy

um but uh i did stop this guy kind of mid track and i i gotta say i probably came off i came off like the kind of entitled well i was gonna i was gonna disparage one of my old neighborhoods again i won't say it that way but i i came off as one of those entitled older seattle lights yes who was like grumpy and i did i said this guy i'm like hey are you a manager and he said uh no i'm not a manager but that didn't stop me that's the funniest thing is i replay this in my head and how crazy i had crazy brain yesterday i i stopped this guy mid mid walk he's got a big smile on his face he looks really busy really friendly and i say hey are you the manager and he says no and then that doesn't deter me at all from stopping and saying stopping him and saying what i want to say which is i'm like hey man there's a no backpack policy here could you just pass it along that that's really bad like i live in the neighborhood we've been excited to go shopping here for a long time but if we walk here we need our backpacks he's like what and he just seems like really confused he's like the security guard he wouldn't let you bring it in and i was like it started to turn into like let's get the security guard in trouble and i was like and i and i said i was like no no he was nice enough about it like he it's just the policy on the door but it's

Thank you.

a really bad policy for those of us who live in the neighborhood he's like i'll pass that along i'm like thanks buddy and then i just went ahead and i did i did the rest of my shopping but i did like looking back on the day yesterday i don't think i've ever asked to speak to a manager before or and i didn't ask to speak to a manager but i said and you also didn't you didn't speak to a manager in my defense i didn't speak to a manager um but i think it's a pretty bad look i mean Again, I really don't think I was rude to anybody, but I could feel a swirl over my head, a little angry peanuts swirl, or a little bit of smoke coming out of my ears. So I'm sure I wasn't presenting myself as the best friendliest consumer in the world. But anyway, I look back at that. A lot of embarrassment. I thought you would enjoy the story. And I have decided that my-

I love It's Not Right. That's an all-timer.

It's not right. It's better than Real Polite Car. You're saying it's not both. It is better than light.

It is not only not both, it is not right.

I wanted the guy to know that I wasn't mad at him, but I was mad at the policy.

You know what I think will happen over time? And this doesn't actually address probably, this doesn't address your underlying frustration at all. And it really kind of emphasizes the two-tier justice system that we live in. But my guess is over time, the no backpack policy will start to kind of be a sort of selectively enforced thing. Like this is day one of the grocery store open. This security guard is as trained up as he's going to be. Everybody's on their most, you know, sort of best behavior. They're minding their P's and Q's. And my guess is that in six months, if you walk in with a backpack, no one's going to say anything. If you look like somebody who was unhoused and somewhat, I guess, disheveled, it might be a problem. I bet you that there will be some sort of mission slippage on this over time. Now, that's not a good thing because that's now profiling, but I bet you that's the likely outcome.

Yeah, you know, I was doing obviously a lot of ruminating on this last night. In fact, maybe that's why around 1030 at night I decided to start deep cleaning parts of my studio that I've literally never cleaned before. I discovered a use for an attachment on my vacuum that I never even knew what this attachment was for. And now I realize, oh, it's for, like, vacuuming shelves. Anyway, I had a lot on my mind last night, and I was sort of ruminating.

It's for displacing your emotions. Yeah. Oh, that's the displacing my emotions attachment.

I want people to know, and I think it's pretty clear, but I want people to know that, like, as the night goes on and I'm having feelings, Like, those feelings always start to point more towards me, more like embarrassment and anger at my own reaction to things. Nobody did anything wrong in this case. Like, I do understand the grocery store's policy. I wish they would implement it better. It was – they were hours – they were open for, like, eight hours at this point. You know what I mean? Like, this can't be changed. I wasn't outwardly rude to anybody. I was just – but I wanted to be in my head, and I didn't like who I became. But I didn't spend the night being angry at SARS. I mean, honestly, what is SARS?

Would you call it a disease or more of a – I think it's a – well, let's think here now. SARS-CoV-2, is it a virus?

I guess it would be a virus, like the H1N1 virus. Yeah, yeah. So I am mad at the virus for disrupting people's lives. I'm not mad at the grocery store necessarily. I don't love this. I don't love kind of some of the broader things it says. maybe about my neighborhood or or Seattle in general or the world in general the idea well whatever I don't even have to get into all of that but but as I'm ruminating on it later I'm like honestly like this guy was by the way he did not in any way give me the feeling of like he was power hungry or anything like that and also like what happened was good he didn't let not that I'm super nicely dressed but like the clearly housed guy with a backpack yeah the white guy with the backpack who clearly has a bed to sleep at a night he didn't like let him pass through because i

didn't look like a threat you know like it's a policy because you have a closely shorn sexy

beard i think that was it he was just like oh man if you look a little bit more scraggly and i was like no i mean that's the way it's supposed to work if you have the policy you apply it to everybody and in fact i've been thinking a lot about that and i and i sort of i'm hoping that something else happens which is that i will go in there and i will continue to be nice to him and maybe i'll even nip it in the bud next time i go in there with a backpack if he happens to be working or whoever is and just say hey is it okay if i just take is it okay if i keep this or if not can i take it over to um to uh you know the customer service and then eventually hopefully it won't be a profiling thing but hopefully I'm there enough that people just know me I mean you know what I mean like there's so many people I recognize who work at the grocery stores I go to regularly so maybe not so much a profile

filing thing but literally we know this guy you know and so that could be a solution but in a certain way I was like that really if they're gonna have the policy I'm kind of glad they got they asked me to abide by the policy like that's kind of a good thing as far as these things go so you're really right about that oh here was the other thing I wanted to say though I was like I had one dangling thing I think I was still a little bit just sort of grumpy about this whole thing I was I was carrying it around I had a little black cloud over my head in the grocery store kind of bumming me out i did buy some like kebabs that looked a little bit like um cevapé so i don't know if it's going to be like cevapé that food that i had in um in croatia that i love so much but i grab that i grab half a like they sell those half loaves of good bread um but you know let's just say it was like a loaf of bread literally two apples a box of these frozen little meat treats um and then i go to grab a six pack of beer it's called it's from georgetown it's a local ipa that i like that everybody around here drinks called bode zaffa or bode and i know because i live such a clean lifestyle i know exactly how much bode is at various places and like at stores that are like a 7-eleven or an a.m. p.m they'll jack the price up to like sometimes it'll be like 14.99 um i know places where i can get it for i think 13.99 tends to be standard oddly the grocery store sprouts is the cheapest place of sprouts which considers itself more of a farmer's market and like a kind of a more of a whole foodsy kind of place that's the cheapest place to get it at 12.99 and i go to grab this at sars super saver and i say the full name because it matters 17.99 i don't usually look at prices i don't know how much everything else was but then they were like oh but a super saver discount marked down to 14.99 until january 8th or something i'm like okay you're claiming this is 18 but you're marking it down to still the highest tier that i've ever seen this like in a convenience store where that stuff is marked up so super spenders more like it are super spenders so i don't know um i don't know if they jack up the alcohol prices to you know you subsidize other things that are cheap i will say That little grocery item list I gave you cost a total of, like, $50, almost exactly. A six-pack, two apples, a loaf of bread, and a little thing of fake chavapi was $50, which, you know, I don't want to get too much into, you know, like, groceries are expensive. Like, I'm glad we got Biden out of there. You know, we can really start fixing these issues.

Pain at the pump.

Yeah, no, complaining about prices. But I just don't think that, like, $50 for that relatively short grocery list is especially super savvy. Yeah. But that's okay. Like, you know, I can afford it, but I was just sort of like, I was, I think in my head being very critical of everything and then seeing $17 for, I'm like, do you have any idea how much Bodhi Zaffa I drink, Mr. Sars? Like, come on. Yeah. Please.

Don't bullshit a bullshitter. Yeah.

Don't pour IPA on my head and tell me it's raining.

Yeah. It must be one of those things where, again, back to my like raw stress for less analogy, I bet you there are some real super savings in there, but I bet you you've got to be open to the experience like something. There's probably some stuff in there that's really cheap depending on the week, depending on the deal that they got on some shipment of something. But to go in and do your regular stuff, you know, like you're kind of you tend to buy the same things. I wonder if it's actually going to be the most cost effective place for you. That being said, I still think this fantasy you have of, like, grabbing a couple of things, you know, like, for some reason I imagine this is either you're realizing you guys need a yellow onion for whatever you're making or Veeves is, hey, can you grab some of this? The idea that that is walkable for you is actually pretty cool, even if, you know, you're still going to be doing most of your shopping up at the QFC.

Yeah, and I was not thinking this until I went in there. Well, I guess there was some buzz on the text chain about this aspect of it. But, like, I honestly, even as grumpy as I was, this is why I think it's going to all be good in the long run is because even as grumpy as I was, I was like, now I don't want to spend as much time here as maybe I thought I was going to. But I was like, there are so many corners of the store to explore. Like, there was, like, just, like, these refrigerated sections that have all kinds of, like, beverages and stuff from cultures that I'm unfamiliar with but would certainly, like, get down with. Like, I could actually see myself, like, kind of getting lost in there, trying some different things, getting out of a couple of my ruts. I mean, I still need fresh step for the cats. But, like, I bet you I think this store is going to serve my needs way more than I thought it was going to. And it's also, like, they just did a great job. Like, it is clean and just fresh in there, my friend. It's pretty good.

Can you get a tote bag that is large enough to fit your backpack in? You crumple the tote bag up. It's in the backpack. That's a really good point. You get to the store, you open the tote bag, you play.

place the backpack inside the tote bag. You walk around, you get your stuff and then you just

reverse the process when you leave. That's actually a really good point. That is something that I could probably do. That's I could try that. And I'm also just open to like, again, I don't want to be a total like, let me talk to your manager person, but I am not against giving a new business some feedback. And like if I could, you know, if I were to, you know, I don't know, like say somebody a customer service, like as I give them my bag, like, hey, you know, this policy isn't great or or send you know maybe I don't know maybe they're looking for feedback I don't think they really give a shit I mean I think that like the the potential of irritating a guy who's clearly willing to come back is not really in one column is probably not worth the what they would see is potential loss of letting people kind of come in and potentially clear the shelves and listen I am also old school we've talked about this on the show before and and you know people have had had very varying uh very different reactions when we talked about shoplifting and sort of the uh especially in grocery stores and when something is a huge chain like this and sort of the morality around that people people have very differing views on that and i'll say when i see somebody just loading shit and because i've seen people shoplift before that gives me a really bad feeling too i don't like to see that either you know and but also part of me realizes that if somebody is stealing like bread like they're probably not doing that because they're a good time johnny who just don't want to like don't want to contribute to society so you know it's it's a very complicated obviously very fraught thing thank you for being a tan

i'm going to let you in on a little secret listeners the the only way andrew is able to overpay for bodezaifa is because of the donors of tbtl who support this program and make this a job for us and make it so that we can live lives and we really do appreciate it now that's not the only thing that we spend the money on we spend it on rent and insurance majority though yeah at 14.99 per six pack tell you what did you end up buying the bode there uh yeah i did and again i think

it was like kind of quote unquote marked down to $14.99. So that's still like in the range that one would pay. So that goes back to answer your question about your fancy non-alcoholic beer.

Yeah. I feel like non-alcoholic stuff should be a fraction of the price. And I understand that that's not how supply chains work. It's not that much less work for whoever athletic brewing is to make a fake beer. But some might feel like you're leaving out the key component of this.

this should be somehow it shouldn't be more but that is a good point it's like because part like my gut sort of agrees with you then you're like well i don't think it's the alcoholization that

costs right that costs money leaving it in the vat more than like diet coke would be less than regular coke right right exactly um you know who knows all about this is steven baugh of portland

oregon yeah because i i have heard and i don't know if this is true and i don't want to spread spread rumors here but i think that sometimes people do drink beer in portland oregon sometimes

even ipas i've also heard about that i haven't witnessed it i haven't gotten eyes on it but it's definitely something that i've heard about i don't know where steven comes down on that stuff but we do appreciate the support steven also thanks to david gabala of san francisco california

classically a dry city but someday they may get beer yep uh christopher borgia is in seattle washington not a dry city not at all might have even seen not as long as you're there might have might have seen christopher at the sars super saver yesterday uh thanks christopher thanks to

matt jones who's in mountain view california i have no idea what their alcohol policy is i think they're mostly down there they're consuming um like uh uh what's the uh soylent oh sure do you remember the days of soylent i do that's right is mountain view mountain

view is google right or apple cupertino is cupertino is apple so so mountain view is google oh i don't think i made that connection i definitely didn't make that connection gotcha thanks matt appreciate

you thanks to reed schumann of lafayette colorado thank you reed familiar uh and then rena lopez rounding things out down there in beautiful mcminnville oregon uh where um i have driven through many times now i'm a mcminnville veteran i think i could be wrong say it because i was gonna ask say it oh i was gonna say i think that there's a really cool flight museum in mcminnville

oregon that i think has the spruce goose in it oh i would do that i love the idea of a flight museum i was gonna ask if that's where mcminimins got its name if that's where the first mcminimins was but i think i'm making connections that are not really there yeah that's mcminimins this is

McMinaville, Andrew.

You've embarrassed yourself again.

Well, you know.

But thank you to all of our donors today for making this thing called TBTL happen.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. Then you can be nothing but me

There is so much Tim Heidecker in our show today. There was the intro tape, and there was that tape of the people talking about the digestive system at the end of the montage. Oh, yeah. I think that's from Tim and Eric, too.

Well, but see, it's not him talking. Yeah, that's true. At least there's that. I didn't have to let anybody know that. We did start, and we're not quite ending the show, but we're near the end. We basically started and nearly ended the show with Tim Heidecker.

It's a Heidi sandwich. That's what I like to call him. Sure is. I like to call him Heidi. By the way, if you would like to wish somebody a happy birthday or a Blur's Day, as we call it on this here program, email me, andrew at tbtail.net, and put Blur's Day in the subject line. And that's all the time we have for today. No. Happy 39th Blur's Day, Josh. How lucky that your actual Blur's Day falls on a Blur's Day. This year, we increased the difficulty level by adding another five, but you are making sure that we have fun even when things are tough. We love you. Love Karen, Elliot, Ben, and Pearl.

Aww.

I wonder if Pearl is the newest addition. Love it. Sarah says, I want to wish my husband Joe a happy 40th Blur's Day. Oh, this is Sarah and Joe. I think, and I could be wrong. I've embarrassed myself enough on this show today. But I think Sarah and Joe are the folks I hung out with after, I want to say, the Brooklyn show, maybe. Oh, sure. I think you're tucked off to bed. So explain that. I think me and Sarah and Joe were up quite late. I want to wish my husband Joe a happy 40th Blur's Day. He is the bad boy of business intelligence. A true spreadsheet specialist. My barefoot dork and TBTL poppy. There's no one else. I'd rather be a 20 with. Oh, a 20. That's when two 10s. How nice is that? By the way, sent from Portugal, where we're just visiting. Whoa. Happy Blur's Day, Joe. Have you heard of, like, two 10s calling themselves a 20 before? No, I think that might be the first I've heard of that. Yeah, because often it's just, like, one person, the relationship, right? And the other one is sort of...

I mean, interestingly enough, most of the relationships are technically 21s.

Yeah. You know? Well, no, no, 11. So explain that. Oh, yeah. Because one person's a 10 and one person's an 11. That's true.

It's like golf. It's like golf. You want it to be a 20 and not a 21 if it can be a range, a lower score. But only down to 20 is what you want to get.

But what if it's a soft 7? Is that even a thing? Always or never, buddy. Is that a thing, a soft 7? Of course it is. I feel like I was close there.

Well, it's a soft 17, but it's a soft 17. I knew I was doing something wrong. But it's a 7, though. It's a soft 17 is also a 7. So you've got to hit that top 17. Nailed that joke. Unbelievable.

Andrew says, now is this me, Andrew, or a different Andrew? I guess we'll find out. Let's see how romantic this is. Andrew says, wishing a happy Blur's Day to the love of my life. Anna, you are a truly fantastic partner and an amazing person. We've been together for 20 years now, and every year I am more and more in love with you. I hope you are having a great day and that I don't accidentally scare you when I come home and you're listening to your friends in Seattle while wearing noise-canceling headphones. Happy Blurs Day, Anna. Love it. What a great time. And I laughed and laughed. What is that drop?

The whole time.

I would like to wish my longtime pal, I.T. Allen, a very wonderful birthday on December 6th. I introduced him to your show some years back, And as much as I've had to claim TBTL bankruptcy as a listener myself, he has stayed true to the blue to you. No, stayed true blue to you. True to the blue is something else. He has stayed true blue to you, your friend, Step Diggity Dog Newton. Step Diggity Dog Newton. I don't usually go with full names. I believe the full name here is Step Newton. I usually always take away the last names in these messages. but when you throw a diggity dog in between what am I going to say from Steph diggity dog no no

so explain that nobody docks him Jay says please wish a happy birthday to my husband Stefan I've had a lot of wonderful moments in my life but the best one was when I became your wife and then it's got that emoji Luke you know the emoji where you put your two hands together and it looks like a heart is on the inside of it you know that emoji happy birthday Stefan I think Jay and Stefan must have close birthdays because I feel like We were celebrating Jays maybe last week or recently. All right. Nathan in Salt Lake City says, I like to wish my best friend and best 10, Jesse in Albuquerque. Albuquerque. I didn't do that right. Albuquerque? How does he say it? Albuquerque. There you go. Thank you. I like to wish my best friend and best 10.

I'm down here, Andrew, in, you know, Hollywood. That's right. So I've got all of the Looney Tunes voices right at the ready.

Thank you, Mel Blank.

Yes.

Yeah.

Very good.

You can hear the insecurity in my voice. Jesse in Albuquerque. Happy 40th Blur's Day. Thank you for your support, your intimacy, your wisdom, your friendship. Intimacy? Yeah, that's in there. I didn't pre-read it. Most of all, thank you for taking a blind leap and joining me in this weird-ass cult so I can speak in drops with someone. I love you very much. Happy Blur's Day, Jesse. That's sweet. And finally, oh, yeah, this one came in. From our friend David of the Smitten's fame and says, Jeremy, we have known each other for half our lives and I wouldn't have it any other way. The reason I laugh is this email came in and it said, Jeremy, we have known each other for half our lives and I would have it any other way. And I thought it was hilarious. But then I wrote to David and I was like, you're joking here, right? Like that's on purpose. That's not a typo. And he's like, no, no, no. That was a typo. I wouldn't have it any other way. I thought, what a great way to just kind of bust a friend's chops. I would have it literally any other way I would have it anyway But no, David actually is polite and loving towards Jeremy And I applaud that David says, happy Blur's Day If we are lucky, Luke and Andrew will go on a tangent About how their Oh, Andrew and Luke will go on a tangent About their first CD players In the middle of the Blur's Day I actually really was into the realistic Clarinet record player talk the other day Unfortunately, we are near the end of the Blur's Days here And we are running out of time. I'm going to run out the door here. But I will say my first CD player was a JVC large boom box with detachable speakers. And my first CD that I bought for it was the brand new at the time, I believe, Pearl Jam Vitality. No, I think it was Pearl Jam 10. I think it was Pearl Jam 10 was my very first CD. What about you?

I think it was technically a Philips. I think Philips was the manufacturer of this allegedly ostensibly portable disc player, which I've talked about on the show hundreds of times. It was, I bought it at a, I bought it second time around, which was like a kind of a head shop on the Ave. It was used and it was the only one that I could afford. It was so enormous. It might as well have just been like a boom box or something. and I think the first CD that I had was stolen from my friend Peter Williams's older sister Dahlia I think it was Half Harvest by the singer Michael Penn and it was less because I was some like cool guy ahead of the curve and just because she wasn't guarding the CD very closely and I listened to that thing front to back thousands of times again just because that was the CD that I

had oh i see i had that backwards i thought you had a cd and then it was stolen by your friend's

sister no no you no no no no as they say i stole it i stole it stole it from her i see and uh and then was listening to it and it was it was again it wasn't because i was like it was i you know if i had my druthers at that point let's see um it's 90 something i probably would have been listening to uh you know god who even knows but grant no no no i was post-christian music but i was i was definitely like that was both a crime of opportunity and then a listening experience of opportunity. The other problem with that CD player was it was so massive it used like I want to say D battery. What are like the big round batteries? It used like D batteries Andrew and I think it would I think you could play a CD would eat through like 4D

batteries. It was such a shit show. I have so many D batteries because I thought one of my vintage radios took D batteries but it turns out they were c batteries and i just i stocked up on d batteries and now i don't know what to do with them i was you know what's so excited to find out one of genevieve's battery operated lanterns

D's. I think that's all we have. This is the second time in a row, Andrew, I've been doing this show with you from California and there's been an earthquake in California. Oh, no. Did it just happen? I'm seeing that it's in Northern Cal. You know where the dateline is? Eureka! The very place of my birth. And now they're saying there's a tsunami warning for California. Oh, jeez. Oh, 7.0. That's big, right? So, anyway, I need to stop broadcasting from California because this is becoming a trend. Anyway. Yeah. Oh, I hope

whoever is okay.

Yeah, I guess we'll see. Okay, thank you for listening, everyone. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you, so please, if you can, join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourself, stay safe if you're in the tsunami zone, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

And good luck to all. No place you can't hurt me. Power out.