Muse

I know New York is a great city, but I do not miss that lifestyle at all. I mean, it was just stress and blackberries and sleeping pills. I used to drink a triple latte every morning just to wake up.

Well, I see your point, but I kind of value the sleeping pill and the blackberry and the latte. You know, you can really get trapped in that web of beepers and zenith televisions and walkmans and diskmans and floppy disks and zip drives. laser discs answering machines and nintendo power glove wow you know so much about technology

how's it all going you asking me about my podcast yes still trying to figure it out

flip a dial instant entertainment dial seven digits instant communication turn a key push a pedal instant transportation flash a card instant money shoving a problem push a few

buttons, instant answers. I have never heard someone say so many wrong things one after the

other consecutively in a row. Why did I buy this funky little purchase? Is that your friend Snyder? Yeah. Why did I buy this funky little purchase? We have our own friends. If there's a better use

for the internet, I haven't found it. All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of T-B-E-T-L, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. The vibes will be the illest, and the jams not ridiculous. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

I don't know who that is, and I don't care to find out.

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it's not a great day weather-wise, folks. Not going to sugarcoat it. It's wet out there. Didn't know you like to get wet, though. Don't like getting wet, though. I was setting up, of all the products that I've purchased in my life, I don't know if there is one that is more under-delivered on its name than a product I bought from REI called Rapid Shelter. There's nothing rapid about this stupid canopy thing, which I was setting up this morning because there's a guy coming over to do some tile work, put some tile in this bathroom. but um he needs a kind of a dry area to work and to cut the tile and stuff and so i said well i've got this rapid shelter canopy which such a disaster setting up i got so random my hands were so numb from the process that i i could barely use them but anyway that's not important i'm not a professional rapid shelter setter upper i'm a professional podcaster and i don't care who knows it and this is episode 4357 in a collector's series let the fun begin i guess professional scrabble player is also a thing because there's this guy from new zealand named nigel richards who is a master with words all of a sudden like i heard like numbnut it doesn't even matter if he speaks the language he just won the spanish language scrabble championship doesn't speak spanish um we'll talk about him hopefully and we'll talk about this the fact that it's a Thursday, a.k.a. Blur's Day, so we do some birthday messages, and we never forget to talk to this guy, longest-running co-bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. Louie, what is that? I'm like, I don't know. What is it? It's an Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Good morning.

What's the crowd congratulating me for saying good morning to you? It just sounds like noise, though. It's a low bar. Boy, that doesn't really sound like applause. Okay, sorry about that. We'll start over. You want to take this from the top?

Sure.

In three, two, and one.

This is how you do it. That's better.

You know what?

Yeah, I told you.

Oh, look at this. That's my performance. They're booing my performance.

As if on, should I take a call live on the air here from Bo the Tile Guy? Do it. All right, let's see here. Hey, Bo.

How you doing? Yeah.

what's that

okay great yeah i'm gonna be in my office but i'll come out and uh kind of get you set up

i'm on a call right now but i'll see you when you get here call all right thanks that was probably very very un did not pay off he's loading up his truck at home depot

than heading your way. You referred to me as a call. Yeah.

All right, good. Nice. Well, I was telling you before the show that there might be a point where I have to hit pause on the recording and run outside to meet up with this guy because there is, I've noticed this, a kind of a contractor type of guy, at least out here where I live.

who is not about that text message life. I don't know why that seems to be commonly the case, but there's at least two or three guys that I have hired and that I've worked with and dealt with where we're not doing these text messages. It's all phone call based, and Beau is one of them. So, yeah, I would normally just text the person and say, hey, I'm going to be in my office doing something at 10 a.m., but that's not how this communication flows. so he's on his way over here the rapid shelter is up i kept like so have you ever tried to set one of these dumb things up and do you do this for pop-up no break one of those out no what is it is it like a canopy kind of one of those it's a canopy but it is it's like a can of shit oh it's so that that that causes you to imagine yes the canning process with feces in it it's mark like

as explicit okay go ahead just take some show notes here it's a very it's just uh it's very

difficult to set up because it's well first of all it's pretty substantial i what i as i often do i went out and i i bought this on a whim i can't remember what the motivation was but i thought oh i should maybe it was for me and my dad like oh you know for one i don't know sit by the fire but it's raining we could have a shelter i'm not sure what my motivation was but but it's one of those

things it doesn't really have sides am i picturing this right doesn't have sides yeah i'll take a

picture of it later and send it to you okay i think i'm picturing it yeah yeah it doesn't have any sides it's like aluminum poles it's kind of like a it's like a big grasshopper the the kind of mechanism the sort of skeleton yeah yeah yeah accordions out yeah yeah but the problem is if you have the surprisingly heavy canvas top on it while you're accordioning it out it's really hard to get it to move because it's kind of being impeded by the by the by the tent the canopy but if you set it all up and then you try to put the canopy over how do you get up there well i was up on a damn gorilla ladder today andrew with two hands it felt like i was like uh the guy trying to hold back the nothing in the never-ending story these look like good hands like i was up there on a ladder in the train trying to like you know get this thing set up and uh and I almost gave up a couple of times

I I is what is the recommended way by the way is the recommended way like supposedly or supposedly you put it on and then stretch it out or is I think yeah well first of all I threw

out the step one I threw out the directions perfect um which is uh my kind of typical move I think what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to well first of all I think this is kind of a two-person process and but I think what you're supposed to do is get it like sort of maybe 50 percent of the way expanded and then you you drape the canopy over it okay while it's actually like not it's it hasn't been elevated yet so you basically like what you do is you take this thing you accordion it you accordion it out to half of its size and it's also not raised all the way up as high as it's going to go sure okay yeah so you and then you get it set up and also this is all supposed to be happening like on a sunny day in July uh next to a flowing river with your Subaru and your attractive family and 2.5 children you know what I mean like this is supposed to be happening in a whole other context there's supposed to be a bunch of people helping out there's a campfire like you're not desperately trying to get this done before Bo gets over here

in the morning by yourself are you 100 sure that this isn't supposed to be happening at a street fair and then once it's set up underneath it there's going to be a trough with like slow moving floating toy ducks around and you go in and you grab one of the ducks and you see the number on the bottom and that tells you whether or not you won the big prize that could be the

case or it could just be someone selling um really expensive produce yes grown on a farm somewhere yes yes that you know i you know i buy and because i want to be the kind of person who's getting my rutabagas from the source and then you're like i don't even like rutabaga you come

home from the farmer's market you got nothing lubega now you're talking sure yeah rutabaga

no thanks vegetable number nine so the anyway the point is I think that you probably really are supposed to have two people for this and there is a system for doing it which I completely failed at doing it the right way but I this thing has also been beat up over the years because the couple of times that I have set it up for one thing or another it's also blown over because it's very windy up here and every time it gets blown over there it gets destroyed more to the degree that yesterday so I dragged this thing out of the basement yesterday and i was looking at it and it's like it's pretty tore up from from literally the wind it's like from it cartwheeling through my yard and over into my neighbor's yard a couple of times um and so you know what the typical solution for that if you're luke is is well what's amazon.com have in a smaller canopy kind of shelter thing that's easy to set up and uh i i went on there and i could have ordered one but i thought you know this thing was like 200 bucks i don't need to just buy another like i was very close yesterday to just scrapping the whole project and then i got up this morning really what i did was i got on the treadmill this morning and the whole four miles that i was jogging i just stared at the rapid shelter lying in tatters on the ground and i thought i think this is solvable i i think that if I just really put my back into it and try it and and and methodically go through this I think this can be fine and you know what it was eventually it was really a pain in the ass it was not fun but it's actually up and now uh my friend I wanted to ask Bo to help me with it but I thought that was a bad start to our collaboration I didn't want him to meet he will figure it out eventually but I didn't want him to immediately know just how incapable I am of doing anything that takes any kind of physical labor is this something that you guys had talked about that

you would provide shelter for this job yeah he had he had sort of told you ahead of time like i need

this yeah he said like yeah he said is there a dry i'll you'll know when i'm doing the impression he said yeah was there somewhere dry to cut the tile and i said oh i've got this rapid shelter literally that's what i thought good thank god i have that thing yeah so i i it's all set up and ready to go he's going to get over here and this is the what's happening now is that what used to be the kitchen in uh in the house is now going to become a kind of a nice newer bathroom um and it's all ready to go it just needs tile and uh so that's we're getting close to a big milestone

here nice you mentioned reluctance to use text messaging with Bo and others of his ilk and it does seem like why wouldn't you but i guess you know change is hard and now i'm thinking about how i spent you know a decent amount of time after the show yesterday and i had mentioned and i'm not even gonna get as shallowly into it as i did yesterday but i mentioned that um something's happening behind the scenes i think on the apple iphone side of things to make like text messaging kind of incorporate with androids more seamlessly supposedly and maybe to bring some of the functionality that iphone users have uh make it more universal with androids i think and i don't know i don't know exactly why it's happening i think it's because people are updating their phones to the latest ios but it's wreaking havoc on text messages like i mentioned to you yesterday i brought it up because i woke up on sunday and i know or at some point on sunday i noticed that our text message chain about sports which is officially called the fun loving criminals had reverted back to a nameless group that just listed all 10 people in it or what have you and so i changed it back to criminals and thought my phone was just glitching out and then i realized yesterday talking to you that that me changing that changed it for everybody which is not usually the way androids work that's more of an iphone thing yesterday i had that conversation with you So I get off the air, and then I go to play Wordle and submit my score. And it is chaos out there, Luke. I don't know where to submit my score. There is somebody who Genevieve has renamed the group Wordle. That's one thread. But then there's another thread that says Wordle, and then it has an emoji of an eagle and an emoji of a brain. And it says Kevin Dodrell. Do we use full names here? By the way, happy Blur's Day. Today? Oh, shit. I need to hop on one of those text chains.

I sent him a claymation of Steven Seagal holding a birthday cake. Oh, that's just the greatest gift you can give someone named Camaro Kev.

Exactly. He always sends a birthday gif out that somebody in a wrestling or boxing ring just screaming happy birthday. It might be John Cena at the top of their lungs. We like John Cena. But it got so complicated yesterday. Like somebody else changed it to Wordle, emoji of a brain, emoji of an eagle. and it said that kevin did it camaro kev and then some people were like wait what happened to the old text chain it's all disappeared and like it seemed like there was one side of the river where the android people and we were on one chain where you could see the history and the the iphone people were on another side we're all communicating but the communications were coming in on it everybody was part of the same conversation but they were coming in on different threads and i'm like well it looks like kevin changed the name of it and he put a little brain next to it which made me think we're smart because we play wordle and he's like i've never changed the name of the group of a

group in my life i have no idea it doesn't seem like a thing he would prioritize in his day and

then and it turns out that it was actually our friend katie who had changed the name of it years and years and years ago but for some reason like i think what is happening is as various people on iphone well i think what's our predicted yes i think it's probably is later on in the thread Somebody said, oh, I.

should update my ios and other people were like oh the new update sucks and i'm like ah this is what's happening i think every time somebody on one of these threads updates their iphone to the new os it's sort of wreaking havoc so all of that is to say bo i feel you i want to say bo why would you not text it's so easy but you know what i'm too no he's actually too so he's future-proofed

yeah his entire communication strategy like you can't update what you don't use and i think that's the big the big takeaway what did i hear on the radio oh you know the great kreskin died yesterday which by the way can you believe the great kreskin was still alive i don't know who that is is that a wrestling folk no he was a mentalist and he was like a go-to i mean i don't think i've ever even i don't know if i ever even saw the great kreskin like you know on television but it was it was like a it was like a sort of a cultural a pop culture reference point like what are you kreskin you know like he was he was some you know kind of some dude who had styled himself as some kind of like i said mentalist or he could make predictions and then kind of became like a a guy who a lot of like you know sort of unimaginative television producers would have on on like new year's day like what are your predictions for the next for the next year and stuff and i was just shocked that he was still alive because i mean i feel like the great kreskin was like a was like an old reference when I was really young but the thing that was funny is I was driving and I'm listening to his obit on NPR, which I would say more coverage of the great Kreskin and less coverage of Donald Trump being Times Man of the Year. Can we lean into the great Kreskin related content please, just for me, for my mental and emotional health. But anyway I thought it was so great that they go, so one of the things is that the great Kreskin The amazing Kreskin. The amazing Kreskin I'm just looking it up now um he um he had predicted that there would be a ufo like we would be visited by ufos and that if we weren't he was going to donate fifty thousand dollars to some cause and then they all should everybody showed up at wherever the ufos were supposed to be they never showed up and then kreskin refused to pay the fifty thousand dollars because he said that the uh aliens had shown up but just after everyone else had left after they had taken all the cameras away he was like you guys left too soon they did show up and i don't have to pay the fifty thousand dollars but they the tape they had of him defending himself over this was on coast to coast with art

bell ah so it had that really old did they have that really old sound from an area near dreamland

this is dreamland i've also been listening to a lot of art bell radio again here in my house like like when i'm just puttering at night sometimes i just really would i was listening to some richard c hoagland the other night oh it's just i sent speaking of our friend camaro kev because he used to be the like audio engineer at times for some of this art bell stuff so he's probably the only other person who has gets as much of the dumb weird art bell references as i do um i sent him a video i was like if you wonder what it looks like here what what my life looks like here art bell interviewing richard c hoagland from 1996 or something yeah just my version of johnny dollar

yeah exactly avoid the news the man with the action-packed checkbook no what is it the man with the action-packed expense account expense account exactly it's so goddamn great larry

alardo at cbs calls me what do you think the man with the questionable expense account i i wonder

what Kreskin's this morning I was flipping through um Instagram and I was reading somebody's story about how they had to do a TED talk at one point and I'll be honest with you I first started reading and it's like the photo was that a photo of them doing a TED talk somewhere maybe a TEDx talk I don't know um and at first I was a little bit like this to use the parlance of the Dan Levitard show I was like this is a little look at me Louie here I'll just be honest that's my initial reaction But a lot of shit on Instagram was like that. And so I'm like, OK. And then I'm reading. But then this person goes on to say, you know, this this I've given a lot of talks in my life. I'm very comfortable doing it. But this was particularly hard because I had to memorize it like every single word down to the word and beat by beat. And it had to match up with my slideshow. So I thought I could have notes, and I found out like 36 hours ahead of time I couldn't even have note cards. So I had to like – so those 36 hours, I just over and over and over and over again just kept on reciting my talk and then like recording it and listening to it back. He was like I was as nervous as I've ever, ever been for a speaking gig like this. And it was actually a kind of interesting story. I didn't realize that that's sort of the deal, especially for somebody who is kind of, you know, is not a rookie at giving talks in front of people. So all of that is to say that's sort of in my in my mind this morning. We're talking about the Kreskin here, and I'm wondering what the amazing Kreskin, well, I mean, in this case, kind of slightly less than amazing Kreskin, rest in peace, was thinking on the way to the alien gig. You know, like, was he truly a true, true, true believer who thought, well, I'm not worried about this because I know the aliens are going to show up when they said they were going to. like there's one thing they're like these are not time optimist aliens these are time realist aliens are going to show up when they said they were and so he's showing up very comfortable like truly truly comfortable in his beliefs i don't think that's the case i think he knew he was a charlatan again rest in peace and so is he are does he already charlatan or entertainer yes by the way i think i use charlatan right there i gotta clear the air on something it's obviously my joke was supposed to be Rutabaga number 5 not Rutabaga number 9 I was confusing You were in the neighborhood though

But that pisses me off

It wasn't that great of a joke but it was a real stinker getting the number wrong It's not the White Album It's not John Lennon saying number 9 number 9 It's Noin

Yeah Andrew I am giving you credit for your immediate identification of who Lubega was Well I appreciate it but that is I mean that's honestly like that is the soft bigotry

of lower than expected

no i mean that's a pretty random poll and i could i i would not i wouldn't judge you at all if if if the name lubega didn't ring any big bells for you but it did you knew that he did a song called mambo and then there was a number assigned to it i knew it had an i sound in it yeah i honestly like that didn't i mean you've made way bigger errors this week you know that is true you

know what here's how i'm gonna own it i'm changing i'm making the show title rutabaga number five that way the record will always be correct on this and then i'll be like look what i came up with but all of that to say it's sort of a serious question i have like what was kreskin like kind of like okay well the plan is when the aliens don't show up because obviously aliens don't exist my plan is to just tell everybody that like i just how much was he scrambling how much was

the plan you know yeah well um uh i i'm the scant research i'm doing as we're talking one of the things internet says about him is the amazing kreskin also known as kreskin was an american mentalist who became popular on tv in the 1970s inspired to become a mentalist by lee falk's comic strip mandrake the magician which features a crime fighting stage magician now that to me seems like a person who was inspired to do something performative as opposed to a person who felt like i mean he was also apparently a clinical psychologist by training and was a clinical psychologist for a number of years as he was developing his amazing Kreskin act.

It would be amazing to sort of get him during the gray area in between as your therapist. I predict. Didn't I see you on Eye on Springfield last night? Yes, but let's talk about your issues right now.

But so I'm with you. I don't think that he was somebody who believed himself to have special powers of prediction i think he probably was kind of a sort of a you know vaude villian type of performer who who was you know this was his thing um so then that of course raises the question you know what was he thinking with the ufo stuff because you know he's a clinical psychologist from montclair new jersey if we're getting down to brass tacks here um he doesn't probably he's not mentally ill he's not delulu he's mentalist he's a mentalist ill um you know You know what I mean? So he knows that they're not showing up. He's not predicting it because he thinks it's going to happen. So did he always? Yeah, I don't know the answer to that, Andrew, but it is an interesting question. And I was actually thinking about a version of that yesterday as I was listening to his obit, which was like how truly did he believe this stuff versus how much of it was schtick? And my thought is it was schtick. It was all schtick.

Yeah, you're absolutely right by looking at the fact that he didn't seem to come up through conspiracy theories and then found the spotlight. It feels like he was looking for the spotlight for this particular act and this bit. But then why put yourself in that situation? Why put yourself? You know me. I'm just not like a risk taker, and I'm certainly not a liar, or I'm certainly not a showman to see Rutabaga number nine. So it's just like I find it hard to believe that you would, I mean, unless you're like in the moment, you're talking to a bunch of people, and you're like, yeah, sure I'll put 50 grand on it like whatever but like it sounds like this was so orchestrated like why would you orchestrate something that puts such a target on your back

I my guess would be um he was at this would have been a point in his career where people were no longer the tv producers were no longer lining up to book The Amazing Kreskin.

Yeah.

And he probably needed, he was probably trying to gin up some interest in the whole deal. Yeah. And he had to kind of like, you know, he had to sort of like elevate the risk and the monetary amount and whatever. Again, there's just something about hearing The Amazing Kreskin defending himself on coast to coast with Art Bell that just reminds me of a simpler time in this country, Andrew. A time that I'd like to go back to, please.

The fact that that is the simplest time.

Yeah, right, exactly. One quasi-conspiracy theorist talking to another charlatan on a grainy AM radio feed. That's my happy place, and that's all you need to know about me.

Now, I want to see here. I'm probably going to ruin the show further, but I just want to see what this is. Oh, no. I thought this—okay. This is called The Amazing Kreskin, but it looks like maybe he was a guest on a more modern show. I was hoping this was going to be, like, real good archival tape. No, this is some sort of, oh, this might be a song honoring the amazing Kreskin by a band called Clutch. I think we need to back out of this quickly and efficiently. Moving on, moving on. You were trying to find him on, like, Carson or something? I just saw, I typed in Kreskin 50 grand. I just wanted to see what would happen. And so then I thought I could get some news tape of what happened at the time or what his response was. But really, we should just go to the NPR story you heard about that. Well, here, okay, can we try this? How do you feel about maybe him blowing our mind on the David Letterman show in the 19? This looks like, I'm going to say this is the 90s, probably the early 90s. Now, this segment is like eight minutes long, so I don't know how much of this we can get through.

That's why he is called the Amazing Kreskin. Ladies and gentlemen, here he is, the Amazing Kreskin.

it's got those big glasses which I'm already identified as is like kind of

iconic look you know it's it's embarrassing and surprising to me we've been on the air for eight years you've never been on this show and every once

in a while you pass someone sends a remark who's gonna be on tomorrow they say Crest you say to them where did that come from and Gar comes on and she says to me before she walks out how am I gonna do tonight I you know I can't lead

a normal life yeah but it's good to be here we got so he's on with Terry Gar, he said Gar says how many R.I.P. Oh, did Terry Gar pass recently as well? I really thought she'd outlive Kreskin. They're in heaven together now Kreskin and Terry Gar But so apparently she said to him backstage how am I going to do tonight? And he's like I can't get any rest being a mentalist

We'd like to have you on once a week. Can you do that? Let me ask you a serious question. Now, are you What did we miss? David, I don't know what we're reading that are you are you a psychic are you a now a mind reader I'm a thought reader I perceive people's thoughts I have extra an extra sensory some kind of a high

sensitivity and I'm gonna try reading you and Paul in a little while okay

that's gonna be interesting but I mean it's not what you're doing here is not magic and I don't think not slight of hand no it has to a concentration has to

do with psychology it has to do perceiving thoughts and what have you so it's all really it's not props it's not bunnies in hell no bunnies and hats it It might be bunnies in people's minds or haunted houses. Well, my God, you were doing an interview with me before with that haunted house bit and the reincarnation. Yeah, right. You're buying a haunted house, huh? Well, I'm looking for a house, David, in which a strange...

Did he just accidentally talk about something that happened backstage? The pre-interview, David?

I think he just... For somebody who, you know, presumably was doing a lot of TV, Kreskin has not really kind of figured out how to focus this for, you know, the David Letterman audience. Yeah. It seems like he's referencing probably a conversation he had with a producer. Yes. Probably the pre interview. David legitimately confused. He's like, oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Sure. The haunted house. And then he's like remembering his notes, I think there. Yeah. I feel like there's also I mean, the reference he made to Terry Garr asking him, you know, to predict something. I feel like there's such a it's a lazy joke, but an easier and funnier joke where, you know, Letterman says to him, like, you know, it's we've been on the air for eight years and we've never had you on. And he goes, yeah, I mean, who could have predicted that? Like, it's just it's it's I'm not saying that's high level comedy, but it's just it's it goes down easier than, yeah, Terry Garner backstage. And, you know, it's like Kreskin kind of kind of work on his showmanship a little. By the way, in the obit in the Washington Post, it says a film loosely based on Mr. Kreskin's career called The Great Buck Howard, starring John Malkovich as a once celebrated mentalist struggling to make a comeback with audiences that are harder to wow, was written and directed by a guy named Sean McGinley, who for several months worked as Mr. Kreskin's road manager.

Really?

That sounds like a good movie.

It sounds like a shooting star movie in the parlance of my friends from New Hampshire. they would call them

shooting star movies i believe because back in the um era of netflix being on dvds i think okay this couple would choose their movies together like what they wanted sent and i think if it had a shooting star it meant it was sort of like a sad movie and i'm trying to remember who it was one of my friends like her her wife or girlfriend was not into the shooting star movies but she was into them and so they would always argue about whether or not they're going to get a shooting

star movie and this sounds if it has three ufos on it it's a reference to kreskin well this definitely

sounds like a real sunset of a career you know what i mean that's yeah it's a very like type of movie the sunset of a career of somebody who had a sort of shallow but maybe at times intense relationship with the public eye or something like that but now they're living but the audiences have changed and people are text messaging now and and now i'm gonna probably say good yeah what The Great Buck Howard, quite a cast.

It's got Malkatraz in it. It's got Colin Hanks, Emily Blunt, Steve Zahn, and also featuring Tom Hanks. It's got Colin and Tom? Most of the Hankses. Yeah, where's Chet? You throw in a Chet Hayes, and you've got all of the male Hankses.

You throw in a Chet Hayes, you have a problem.

You have a police situation.

Speaking of mentalists, Genevieve got to – I set it up for her way too perfectly yesterday. I gave her the opportunity to absolutely dunk on me with her favorite joke, which she's been trotting out a little bit more lately. And it's starting to – Going to the well a little too frequently with this one. Well, it's starting to get under my skin. I set up some new speakers for my record player and sort of spent – it was a little bit of a project because I wanted my amplifier and speakers in a slightly different part of the room than the record player. So I had to string, like, I had to buy the special cable and kind of string it all the way around and kind of hide it the best I could. And I think I did an okay job. I was kind of proud of myself, bought these special tacks at the hardware store. But anyway, I was doing that project, and I said something about, like, yeah, you know, when I get another record player eventually. I just referenced at some point maybe getting another record player. Now, Genevieve got this record player for me as a gift, and I think it was less than a year ago. I think it was Christmas of last year. so I wasn't trying to be rude about it but I just said oh yeah you know and if I get another record player and she said another record player like why what's wrong with this one I'm like well nothing's wrong with this one I just mean like sometime before I die I'll probably get another record player and she says you're going to get another record player in two weeks

oh yeah that's that's whoo yeah whoo yeah I mean I mean what makes it what makes it dark is how possible it is well i know and then i and i said with a mouthful of summer sausage don't joke about my health you started you used the the hand sign for a heimlich that you had developed

about once a week it comes into play she thought i was making fun of her joke like i was choking but no i was actually just literally choking on that is a uh whoo you know you know how you have

to interpret that is that she's just trying to create a layer of protection between her and how absolutely devastated she would be if you weren't

on this planet. Sure, sure.

And that's her defense mechanism, but it's actually a testament to how much she loves you and how much she can't even deal with that reality, so she makes very hurtful jokes about it. Either that

or she already has a list of backup plans and she's just trying to figure out how to arrange her post Andrew life.

she's going to handle it appropriately but efficiently

yeah right exactly that's her north star

as she's pursuing the next phase of her life

exactly

thank you for being a 10 alright let's thank some donors who are supporting TBTL with some cash Which has gotten us out of a few jams And allowed us to I'm not in like buy a rapid shelter Replacement you know territory That's not the kind of cash we get from this show But we you know do this for our job Which is pretty cool Thanks to folks like Charlie Trills Who's in Charleston, South Carolina Thank you Charlie Appreciate the support Jenny Dahl In Burien, Washington What can you tell me about the city council there Andrew

I was going to say some of my favorite candidate forums happen in Burien, Washington. It's a great place to learn more. They've got Jenny Dahl moderating them now. They should. Jenny would do a great job. Jenny, thank you so much for supporting the show.

Look at this. We've got two South Carolinians checking in today. We've got also Darren Bokknight of Case, South Carolina.

Nice. Now, I don't know the geography there, if they're close together, but But I like to picture Darren and Charlie getting together, maybe even like building, yeah, I'm going to say it, building like a blanket and pillow fort sort of, maybe. Oh, yes. And then gathering and like getting a little like Bluetooth speaker and listening to TBTL together with flashlights in the fort.

Staying up all night. Yes. God, there was a period in my life where all I cared about was blanket forts. Yeah. It was an obsession.

Was that when you were in Bellingham?

No, it was more like Seattle when I was down in Mount Baker. Oh, sure, yes. Kind of my thing. Hey, Nathaniel Holtman, Tacoma, Washington. It's our pal.

Thanks, Nate.

Thanks also to Patrick Reddington of Citrus Heights, California.

I want to be clear about something here. I'm pretty sure Nathaniel goes by Nate. I do. I don't. Yeah, yeah. I don't want people to think that I'm just doing that thing. I didn't like it when I was a kid, and I would find older men would do this to me. I'd be like, hi, I'm Andrew. And they'd say, oh, good to meet you, Andy. And I'm like, that's not what I said. I wasn't just shortening Nathaniel's name on a whim. I think he goes by Nate, and I think Patrick probably goes by Patrick.

Yes. And then Patty goes by Patty Birkenshaw. Yes. Up there in Lake Stevens, Washington. Is this the second day in a row? We've had some Lake Stevens floating around in the donors, a couple of them. So thanks, Patty. Thank you so much to all of our donors for supporting TBTL, for making this a thing. and we really couldn't do this without you. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. Our Top Story, a guy named Nigel Richards from New Zealand has won the Spanish World Scrabble Championship in Granada, Spain. By the way, one of my favorite places in the world, Granada, Spain. I've only been there one time, but it was one of those places where, and this is typical of me when I was there I immediately started trying to plot how I could just live in Granada, Spain makes zero sense I mean that's even more insane than a lot of the other kooky plans that I come up with but oh what a place

did you almost buy Granada one time?

I did Andrew I did to impress a lady

did you see Granada parallel parking one time when you were in New York?

I was parallel parking in front of Granada, Andrew.

That's right. Sorry. Okay, I won't continue this litany of insults.

This guy, Nigel Richards, does not speak Spanish, but he won this tournament because he basically just memorized every single Spanish word, every word in the Spanish language that, you know, sort of qualifies in the Scrabble game. He just would just stare at these large, large, large lists of words, and he just committed them to memory and was able to just go in there and kind of just play these words that he doesn't speak Spanish. He doesn't, I don't know if he even knew the definition. He just knew they were words in Spanish, and he was so good at this, he beat everyone else, including people who spoke Spanish as their first language. I don't, this is a weird take on this, but this is why I don't really like Scrabble anymore. Like, it's not, it's because if you're, and this was, you remember when Stefan Fatsis wrote Word, was that Stefan Fatsis who wrote Word Freak? Remember those days? Those days of public radio?

I don't remember. I'll look it up. That might have been him.

I think he was doing a lot of immersive journalism. One where he tried to become a place kicker, I think, for the Denver Broncos and wrote about it. Yeah, it was Fatsis. Real George Plimpton Paper Tiger energy He wrote the definitive Book about the world of Obsessive Scrabble players And I think he was a really good Scrabble player The thing is, if you're really good at it You're not Playing the word xylophone On triple word score Which is like the dream If you're a casual Scrabble player like I am Were you ever a Scrabble person Growing up or in college I got really into it for a while

I never got really into it. Genevieve deeply into it to the point where that used to be her thing. She would play it on her phone all the time. People were playing Words with Friends, but she wasn't playing Words with Friends. That was too bubblegummy for her. She was playing intense Scrabble games on some sort of social game. But then this happens with a lot of name brand sort of apps or apps that are connected to the actual brand of a game. Like I realized this, I was trying to play Risk on an app recently, but everything has become so cartoony and childlike on these apps that like these legacy games, I think they've changed too much so that the hardcore people like Genevieve were just like, I'm not, when the app started to change and get too balloony and cartoony. Yeah, Balloonian Cartoon-y. Sorry, I'm just laughing at the fact that I accidentally rhymed. I think she sort of strayed away, and then she started learning French. But anyway, yeah, she got really, really hard. She was meeting up with friends once a week and playing intense Scrabble games. I played casually a little bit. My brain doesn't work in that way that well. I don't like Scrabble that much, and I definitely don't like crossword puzzles.

what i hit the wall that i hit with scrabble is that i'm just i like playing scrabble like with my family at thanksgiving or something like and but what i want to do is like i want to get like a really crazy word like i used xylophone as an example that has like a bunch of high value letters and then somehow matt like play it at the perfect time like that's what makes that's what makes it fun for me if i can pull that off which by the way i rarely do if the real work of the scrabble game the real serious word freaks it's a bunch of like little tiny weird ass words that you didn't even know were a word they're just like technically in the dictionary but they they are high value for for what they are you know i mean it's the kind of thing that it's sort of like that that style of debate that there was also another documentary about at some point where debate is now like i think at the high level like forensics like at the high school level in college a lot of the debate Is it's about scoring points Yeah And so what's And the way you score points Has to do with The number of like Arguments you make Or something So at some point It doesn't sound Like we think of a debate As being like You know Like William Jennings Bryant And whomever else Like these great orators Who were like But if you know Who would sort of like Basically convince people Of why they should be believed Or why you should believe Their point of view Because of their eloquence And if you like look at high level debate now at the college level it's just a person micro machining through a whole bunch of shit because of how the points are scored this feels a little like that of scrabble which is like it's just it's it's a lot of like weird obscure words and small words and things that are not as sexy as um what's the thing it's not as sexy as the oh toothbrush what is that drop we that's one that i have is like i think that's like aisha roscoe but didn't there another one that you play that's like 80 miles or someone saying it's not as sexy. I thought it was from a

cartoon. It's not as sexy as sending astronauts to the moon.

I love that. So much. All I'm saying is that I feel like if I was watching this thing, I would, I mean, it's impressive what the guy did. Here's what he did. He took nine weeks to study and memorize the entire Spanish language list. This is sexier than the toothbrush. Thank you. What is that? It's not 80 miles. Who is that?

I have no idea. I think a listener sent this to me in like 2012 or something like that. Go ahead.

This is how hard this was for him, though. By the way, this article, which doesn't have a byline, it was AP, so thanks to whoever wrote this. This guy has recognized international Scrabble as the greatest Scrabble player of all time. His Spanish language victory was notable even by his standards, other players said, because he was forced to adjust his gameplay to compensate for different tile values in English and Spanish Scrabble. Richards also had to contend with thousands of additional seven, eight, and nine-letter words in the Spanish language, which demand a different strategy. I mean, so he first of all just memorizes all of these words, and then he has to use them differently. It's like if he was playing football, it's like suddenly a field goal is worth eight points. And you can throw four forward passes in the same play. Like, like the idea that he both committed all these words to memory and learned all the different strategies and then deployed them. And he played 24 games and only lost one of them. This guy is the absolute goat of this thing. And I feel like we were not talking about him enough. I've never heard this guy's name before. By the way, he already did this in France.

I was going to say, I was about to say, that's the one more dollop of amazement is this is not his first time doing this in a foreign language. In another language. And to me, I don't really have anything intelligent to say about this, but it's like it speaks to two different things. One, the human brain, and two, the difference between memorization and learning a language, right? Because it's interesting that he memorized, I'm guessing, thousands of French words and Spanish words, doesn't speak either language. And you could just see a simplistic look and say, well, learning the words is the hardest part of language, but clearly not, right? Well, but also brains work differently. Like he's not he's not bringing in he's not inputting this information into his brain in a way that allows for using it to communicate. He's just memorizing it as if it was a string of numbers.

Well, that's and that's what his mom told a New Zealand newspaper back in 2010. She said he did not excel in English in school. He never.

went to college and he took a mathematical approach to the game rather than a linguistic one his mom says I don't think he's ever read a book not even a book about Scrabble well she says apart from the dictionary so he's which is also the math of it he's memorizing words like this guy is he's a character it would seem they he he's impressed the Scrabble community when he arrived at his first Scrabble Club meeting in Christchurch, New Zealand. He was 28. So first of all, that's pretty late to get into this. Two years later, in 1997, he cycled 220 miles from Christchurch, New Zealand to the city of Dunedin. He won the New Zealand title on his first attempt, and then he rode his bike home. It's like a folk hero of this thing. What motivates Richards, who now lives in Malaysia, is a mystery because he never speaks to reporters. I get lots of a question from journalists wanting to interview him, and he's not interested, Fagerlin said. He doesn't understand what all the hoo-ha is about.

Well, he must. I mean, he's worked for the hoo-ha. Like, that's sort of

interesting, too. I think he would rather if he could just do all of this in private. Yeah, maybe. You know what I mean? Like, he seems... Well, look, I don't want to violate any Goldwater rules, but I would be... How do I put this? I'd be unsurprised to find that this guy is neurodivergent. Yeah, right. Right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that works in a different way than probably that's extremely there's some things there that would that would uh lead me to believe he's not neurotypical um and uh and it kind of get the sense that he if if he could just go and win these things and then ride his bike home and have nobody talk about it that would be his preferred way for it to go down i guess which

is shocking i i was hoping to play a little game with you here luke it's not scrabble related at all in fact you um just by bringing up stefan fatsis and um reminding me that he he wrote that book um uh i just saw it a second it was like six seconds of panic or something like that or a few seconds of panic that's the one the kicking book that's the one where he he like yeah he cosplayed or actually i guess really went through the process of becoming an nfl kicker here's where

he played soccer in high school it's actually a really good book which i read voluntarily i don't know the last time i voluntarily read a book but now here's where i'm going with this and this is

more of just a game as two former public radio producers okay uh-huh love it i don't know if

you know where i'm going with this but um justin talk you're asking the amazing kreskin where is he going with this come to me from the beyond kreskin show yourself kreskin's leaving kreskin

hates it when i bring this up um that was just for you that's a very good spook um but um what i was gonna say was and this is really silly i'm totally destroying this segment i'm sorry but um i'm thinking about justin tucker right now justin tucker is the kicker um for the baltimore ravens and has been just historically good his whole career like astoundingly good season to yeah to the point where i don't know if you recall this luke i'm sure you do like he he went viral because like he was basically the hero on some bus trip or plane trip back i think like what didn't they um they got him to sing something like the team got him to sing like a trained opera singer oh i didn't remember that but i thought he's got a phenomenal singing voice like he

performs with like the baltimore operas but they also like kind of draped him in a bunch of gold

chains or something i can't remember but he became almost like a he he rose to this level of of fame and and sort of acceptance within the the um or or maybe yeah like a celebration amongst his his football peers that is not usually enjoyed by kickers right because it was just i mean what he did he became one of the most important players on that team if not the most important player and that is you know that's really saying something so um all of that is to say he is now having a terrible year he has the yips like people can't figure it out people are saying maybe we should let this guy go uh other people are saying you never let this go he will work it out like you do not you are not the team that is going to drop justin tucker he's a generational talent you and i if we were working on a talk show we might think hey let's get stefan fatsis on to talk about justin tucker's actually a really good idea let us now and i did not do this in

advance let us now go to google news stefan i n uh s-t-e-p or s-t-e-f-a-n f-e-n okay that's it

There he is, Stephan Fatsis. Okay, here it is. Now let's do a Google News search on this. What a great idea. What is the last time? So he looks like, okay, Defector talked to him in March, but that would have been before we knew Justin Tucker was flaming out, so that can't be it. I don't think anybody's booked Stephan to talk to him. Well, I should type in Justin Tucker, too, I guess. But go ahead. What were you going to say?

Well, it's because this is still only of interest to sports radio or people in Baltimore. But Stefan Fats is culturally deeply public radio. So you'd have to have the public radio station in Baltimore have the balls, Andrew, to do a whole segment about how their NFL kicker is doing poorly. That's the Venn diagram overlap. That's where you get Fatsis on the line. You don't get Fatsis on, like, you know, 7.30 a.m., the gorilla, where, you know, he's calling in on the Rocksino sports line. You know, like, you've got to have a public radio show that is willing to talk about Justin Tucker, and then that's when you're going to get a Fatsis.

You're right. There's no public radio station that cares enough about this except for, like, maybe the Baltimore station or a Beltway station.

Which they probably should. I mean, I'm sure the Ravens are a big, big deal in Baltimore.

I'm not seeing anything other than 2021. Stephan Fatsis wrote about Justin Tucker in Slate.com about his record-setting game-winning field goal. It looked like it was number 66. So that was obviously several years ago.

Should we fill the void? I mean we've got listeners in Baltimore and we've got listeners who are interested in you know sports and the business of sports

what's stopping us

we got a phone line we can bring old stepping on I've interviewed him before

we have a phone line and a heart I'm sure that I've booked him before should I see if I have his contact information I mean do we want to do that I mean that's the other thing too does it serve our audience

it serves the audience of you and me that's true because i do think i actually think that's like a very good that was a very good idea by you like if i was listening to a public radio show and they were like what is going on with baltimore raven's kicker uh justin tucker well we have someone online who's actually knows a lot about this i mean that was the thing my takeaway from that book from the the stefan book was just like how actually physically demanding you know they think of the kicker as just being like you know it's like the easiest job and you know it's the least physical like he was what's what stefan was battling was a tremendous amount of leg and hip fatigue and pain all the time you know like it is a i mean the thing that i think is really funny about most kickers is that my guess is they were probably their high school quarterback they were probably the most athletic person at their high school their senior year you know what mean like they seem so they just seem so non-athletic compared to everyone else and is there anything worse than when you realize your kicker is what's standing between the returner and the as happened to the Seahawks against the Jets the other day where it's just like their guy is in the clear and then I just see poor hapless Jason Myers trying to make an open field tackle

I was like this ain't gonna work yeah yeah he was kind of injured too right I think there was a couple of weeks ago too and I well I won't even get that was the crazy thing oh right right but But a couple of weeks ago, and it wasn't the Seahawks. There were like two games in a row. I think I was watching Red Zone for some reason. I was getting ready to do my Sunday stuff, and there were no games of interest on it. So I put on some illegal stream of the Red Zone.

I was going to say, how do you have the Red Zone? I was like, oh, you're same dark web.

And so it was just on. But there were two games that I feel like came down to. I might be messing this up, but I feel like in one Sunday block, like in the 10 a.m. block on the West Coast, There were two games that were incredibly close and relatively important, and both of them were lost because a kicker missed a otherwise seemingly, for their role, easy field goal. You know, I say that because, like, no field goal is easy, right?

Like, missed, missed, or it was blocked. Because I feel like we are in a golden era of blocked kicks. I don't know what is going on. I should actually just check the data. But I feel like I am seeing a blocked kick every three games now where that used to be maybe once in a season, if that.

That's interesting. I didn't notice that. And it makes me think just generally speaking about sports and the business of sports, how I'm going to get a little bit too into the weeds here, but how the game will naturally change. Like there are two ways the games and sports change, right? It's like by instituting new rules to correct something, you know, in the game. And we've seen baseball doing that or just the game evolving because, well, somebody gets really, really good at X. And so whatever the defensive counterpoint of that, the skills change like over time. I mean, literally like kind of generationally, you know what I mean? Like a very slow game of chess Which is kind of why I was a little reluctant I was a lot reluctant on some of the baseball changes The rule changes

And I had varying degrees of fandom regarding some of the changes that baseball has instituted in the past, like, five years or so. And one of them, you know, involved the shift, right? Like players being able to, like defensive players in the field being able to move to a place because they have the book on the batter. Like, oh, we know this guy is always going to, like, kind of hook it to left field or whatever. And so they instituted these rules to say, well, you can't shift your outfield that much anymore. Like, you have to stay within these sort of imaginary boundaries. And I guess I was sort of against that. I don't really care that much. But I was sort of against it in theory, just thinking, like, well, won't it just force batters to change? Yeah, won't the batter position, not even the batters, but the batter position evolve over time to then beat the shift? Like, wouldn't that be more fun? But sometimes, like, if that's just not happening, if it's taking too long, I guess you're losing viewers. I guess that's when baseball comes in and says, no, no, we're just going to make you follow these new rules. It seemed odd to me. It hasn't really affected my enjoyment of the game, that particular rule, but it did seem odd.

Well, you know what? Back to the Seahawks for a minute. And you were mentioning that we were talking about the fact that Michael Dixon, our punter, was like really hurt in that New Jersey game. Like he had a back spasm. Yeah, I got him confused with the place. He could barely like it was like, is he going to be able to actually because he holds the ball when Jason Myers kicks it for field goals? It was like, is he even going to be able to do that? And what he really couldn't do was punt. And I think it's why the Seahawks won the game, Andrew. And it's remarkable what happens when you have to just use all four downs. The Seahawks were going for it in scenarios that they would never do that if Dixon was healthy. And I thought, maybe we should consider this. I mean, I know these coaches are smart and all they do all day long is think about football. So it's like, it's not like they haven't done the research. And yet it is interesting how, like, if you just, I am of the opinion that, sorry, this is getting so sporty, but it's just like, I'm of the opinion that if teams just started playing four down football all the time, there would be some sucky moments, but I kind of tend to think it would be better in the long term. I would love to see a coach who's like, our policy is like, unless we're on our five yard line, if we are anywhere north of our 20 yard line, we're going for it. Because then on third down, you don't have to get the whole thing back. You don't even have to design a play to get the whole thing back. You know, everything changes when you know you're going to use all four of your downs. And I thought that was interesting. Now, it almost came back to get us, I thought, early on in the game against Arizona. Because then the roles were reversed. Their punter was having trouble. And they then were starting to go for it on some downs that they normally wouldn't have. And, you know, ultimately the Seahawks won. But I was like, maybe we'll just get rid of the punters.

Maybe we'll just get rid of the punters. put them all on an island luke we're all i'm saying called punter island yeah well i mean that's interesting too and that kind of goes back to broadly what i was saying which is like well then if the i mean probably part of the reluctance of coaches and i think we're starting to see it shift a little bit too like with your dan campbells and what have you but like coaches are reluctant to do something that is sort of outside the norm outside of what kind of tradition in the book says you know because if they do that if they stick their neck out by going for it on fourth down and it doesn't work it stands out so much more as a mistake placed on them as opposed to not just winning the game through usual things so there's a reluctance to do it a natural human reluctance but as more and more people as more and more coaches go for it on fourth down and if it becomes the norm then that does change the game right that changes how defenses uh treat third down and second down as well too so that's kind of what

i'm talking about the evolution here yeah i just feel like i've always wondered why why and i'm i wonder if we will eventually i guess dan campbell in detroit is kind of pretty renowned for his like i think that dan campbell can get away with going for it in scenarios that might leave him exposed because he could also just kick your ass like who's gonna really i mean he seems actually like a pretty sweet dude like a really sweet you know what i mean like i we we stand dan campbell around here but he is physically menacing he does not look like he's that far removed from his playing days yeah and like i don't i've never seen i mean other than he has described his philosophy as biting off your kneecap which i do i do think is a threat of violence but like maybe you know you

people might be but if i get back up if i get back up you'll let me keep my other kneecap though

right game well andrew that's where that's where you'd be wrong really you know what if i get back up oh he's gonna what is do we have that tape yeah we just go to the tape yeah sorry is there

nipple biting what i don't wear nipple biting but i'm pretty sure that your other kneecap is

also going to get bitten off and there's i feel like there's mouth punching it's a it's a sadistic

situation that really uh forecast and this is how he introduced himself to the league by the way that that's the amazing thing about this he didn't

had like now we know him as the sort of gentle giant this lovable guy this guy who like really makes me laugh out loud in an applebee's commercial i don't know if you've seen that commercial oh it's really good he comes up to a table and i like the fact that like they're playing to his strengths right they're not like overdoing it because there's two young people it looks like they're probably on a date or something let's put them in their like very early 20s um and uh dan campbell comes up he's their server he's dressed as an applebee's server and um he tells them about the special i think it might be like some sort of riblets special or something don't get me started on a riblets tried those once bizarre way to try to eat that meat um but he he comes up and he tells him what the special is and then the the the young man starts ordering whatever the special is and dan campbell's like no no cover your mouth like dan is is holding oh he's like holding the yeah like the menu thing or the check holding the way that they hold their playlist or whatever you want to call it over his mouth.

He's like,

don't cover your mouth. They'll hear you. They'll steal your order. And it's like unclear who he's worried about them stealing or who's going to steal this kid's order. But it's very, very funny and it plays to his strengths. But here's this tape from me. Let me ask you a question.

I'm watching this commercial now. Is it possible? Dan Campbell has a dip in his mouth when he in this or what do they

call him? A zin? Is that what they got?

Is he a Zincinnati Red right now? I swear to God, when he approaches the table, he definitely has a plug of cha or a zin in for the commercial.

It's pretty good. Here, why don't you just, do you have the audio there? Can you just play the audio before I play the kneecap horn? Oh, the commercial, sure, yeah. If you have it dialed up. I do, I do.

Here we go, here we go. Welcome to Applebee's. Can I interest you in America's favorite boneless wings for just 50 cents each? I have the 50 cents boneless. Cover your mouth. I think it's still your order. I'll have the 50-cent boneless wings.

I'll have the same.

Perfect. I'll never see it coming.

That's also a 30. That's a great 30-second commercial.

It really is. They leave a lot of space in there. We didn't hear it, but the kids do a good job. I call them kids. The kids do a good job, I think, of just sort of being uncomfortable in the silence, but then following his lead and covering their mouths as they order. I love the ridiculousness of it, and I love that they don't try. Again, you and I talked about, like, are they pushing Andy Reid a little bit too far in some of these wacky commercials now? Like, I like that they're not asking Dan Campbell.

I walk around my house saying, Fumbo-rooski. I mutter it to myself more than once a day, so I guess it's working. All right, here's this.

So this team's going to be built on. We're going to kick you in the teeth, all right? And when you punch us back, we're going to smile at you. And when you knock us down, we're going to get up. And on the way up, we're going to bite a kneecap off, all right? And we're going to stand up. And then it's going to take two more shots to knock us down, all right? And on the way up, we're going to take your other kneecap, and we're going to get up. And then it's going to take three shots to get us down. And when we do, we're going to take another hunk out of you. Before we're going to be the last one standing, all right? That's going to be the mentality.

And it's not even specified anymore. It's going to be another hunk. there's something about it we're gonna take another hunk we're out of kneecaps we're gonna take another

you know he wanted to say kneecap again but his familiarity with human anatomy told him we've already we're 86 on kneecaps and also I love it's like okay he's so part of it is he gets stronger because it takes more blows to knock them down as you progress through this scenario which is kind of interesting it's real like you know Hulk Hogan Hulkamania where like there used to be a point at which hulk hogan would be getting his ass kicked and then suddenly it would be this weird thing where when the other guy would hit him when the iron sheik would hit him it would like give him more power you start like shaking his head getting stronger from each blow it was like you know that's i believe that's what dan campbell is referencing there wow hulk hogan like what a

specimen well what a bummer too that he ended up being a maga dude well just everything and then Also, his whole role in essentially, well.

Well, that was consensual. You mean, well, yes. I mean, it started with him having a consensual sexual relationship with Bubba the Love Sponge's wife.

Oh, God, I forgot it was his wife. The fact that you still have to say that name. I mean, just, okay, here's the headline recap of the story. Internet website is taken down by rich man after Hulk Hogan says N-word during intercourse with Bubba the Love Sponge's wife. Did he say the N-word too? Yeah, so that was the thing. I forgot about that element of it. I don't even want to recap all of this anymore, but that's basically it. I think my mind erased that part.

I think maybe Hulk Hogan and this woman were maybe, they must have been recording themselves for their own private use. Yeah, there was a camera in the room. And I think it was. And then after they made sweet, sweet adult time love, which is what they call it, then the camera's still rolling. At some point, every time she would slap Hulk Hogan, he would get stronger. He would get stronger. No, but then I think it was still rolling because then there was this tape of him kind of in the bedroom using the N-word casually. In the afterglow? i believe in the afterglow like he's like sitting on the edge of his bed how do you enjoy your post oh yeah no i say other just using the n-word incredibly racist epithets i i just have a different different list i'm working from but um yeah no it's just kind of ridiculous and then what happens is this is on tape but it's a private tape somebody leaks it i don't i don't know who but then gawker is like well if we you know their mentality was if we have this we're gonna we're going to run it even you know and again it catches him doing something unseemly and wrong you know using this kind of language but it was also a private tape and then that that gave um teal what's teal's first name peter teal the ammunition to fund a lawsuit against the website that would eventually take it down because peter teal had his own agenda against gawker because they had sort of i believe sort of doxed him or maybe outed him as a gay man or something it's a very It's such a sordid tale, and that's before you remember that there's somebody named Bubba the Love Sponge involved.

Who I believe, and this is, by the way, a proud, honorable thing to do. I'm not saying this to be dismissive, but I believe that one of the things Bubba the Love Sponge now does is DoorDash. And I know this because he is good friends with the Howard Stern Show folks, and they're always updating what Bubba's up to. That's kind of interesting. And I believe one of the things that he's doing is, again, and I don't say that to, you know, be dismissive of people that are doing that to make money, but it's definitely a different lifestyle for him from being, you know, the king of Florida morning radio or whatever he was doing and friends with Hulk Hogan to living a very different life.

Yeah, because they got pulled off the air down there for some other shenanigans, right?

Yeah, I think it was Actually, I'm sorry This is like This is so unbelievably layered And only Phyllis Fletcher cares about it But they have a guy on Stern Who does a dead-on impression Of Bubba the Love Sponge And he's just always talking about Dr. Diaco, who I think was like a plastic surgeon That ended up being a sidekick on the show That was doing a lot of like Enhancement of women's breasts and things He's just always talking about Dr. Diaco So, like, one of the most genius things that the Howard Stern Show does that we don't have the staff or the talent for it, but it's unbelievably an entertaining thing is as soon as somebody becomes kind of a figure on the show, somebody starts working on an impression of that person. So they've got, like, Ronnie the limo driver, right? He used to be Howard Stern's actual, like, limo driver for many years. And then he kind of became a character on the show, and he doesn't drive a limo anymore. He just lives in Las Vegas with his wife. But he's a big character on the show But now they have a guy called Shaky Ronnie Which is another staffer doing an impression Of Ronnie and it's so good And it's like what would you ever Think the utility of A guy doing a Ronnie Mund impression Would be It's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life I cannot turn it off When they're doing it

It's also kind of a throwback to a different era Of kind of just like corny morning radio I feel like just impressions Like when I was listening to the Kevin and Bean show like really on the reg when i was down in la i love that they just still had um i'm blanking on his name but their their buddy garmin ralph exactly who would just do like all kinds of celebrity impersonations and i honestly think the first time i heard it i'm like what is this this is so corny this is like the stuff i listened to as a kid but it did not take long for me just to

be like super on board with it as a bit i didn't i realize how kind of immersed in this world of being a howard stern listener i was until last week when i was in la and i was talking to nicky glazer because i mean off air because she's a big part of the stern world she used to have a show on serious and there's a particular plot line where one of the like regular they call them whack packers but you know this guy named mark the bagger who's in pennsylvania is obsessed with nicky glazer and like one of the first things i said to nicky was i go i just you know i go a lot of people are really interested in your relationship status and things like that so i'll just get out of the way you know early like what are you what is going on with you and mark the bagger and she like laughed and this was we weren't filming i was just trying to make small talk and then she goes oh man i've been kind of like i've been busy yeah you've been busy like getting ready to host the golden globes she goes what's going on with and then she just was firing a series of questions at me about stern and i was like oh well the thing with benji right now is the last time he was really making the splash is when he claimed that he ran into woody allen Thank you.

in new york and woody allen said benji and then she's like dying laughing and then it's like well what's going on with this person and i'm updating her on the minutia of every single person on the show in a way that was like so it was at the very tip of my brain and i was like this is

i should not know this much about this i love that shared language i love that as a way of getting to know somebody that like you you don't know this person but you have this thing in common and you just have like just years and years you have decades of material that you can bond over And by the way, and I'm sorry that this is becoming a little bit of a trend on today's show, but I actually have a bit of a correction here. I looked it up. Apparently, Stefan Fatsis was on Bubba the Love Sponge's show talking about Justin Tucker. I'm just seeing that now. It was sort of, it was sort of, it was below the fold.

We've got Dr. Diaco. We've got Stefan Fatsis.

How much? How about this? We've got him up on the shocker. Instead of getting Stefan Fatsis on our show, can we figure out a way to get Bubba the Love Sponge to interview Stefan Fatsis?

I think if we were able to, if we were able to prioritize a couple of hundred bucks out of the TBTV budget, I feel, the other thing is we could probably order a cameo from Bubba. Oh, that's a good point. Which I don't know how that helps with the Stefan thing other than maybe we, we could have, should we hire Bubba to do a cameo for Stefan Fatsis?

Is that a way to bring it all together? Take it out of the billboard money. Take it out of the billboard fund.

Honestly, like, it's got to be less than $8,000.

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can't be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can't be number one.

Luke, I did a good thing before starting these Blur's Day messages. I said to myself, hey, we should check the old email spam folder, make sure none of them ended up getting rooted into that little section of my email. And I did find one astray that I thought maybe was in there for weeks and weeks. But no, this just came in a few days ago. So thank goodness I think we are not late to read Molly's Blur's Day wish to her husband, Garrison. I think you mean this. That literally doesn't sound like anything. Molly says, I want to wish my husband Garrison a happy Blur's Day. Despite trying to play TBTL on the way to the hospital to deliver our son, I love you lots. Love, Molly. Cute. Molly, I marked your message as not spam, so if you email me any more, it should go right to my inbox. Good catch. I think that's very proud. Jake, the perfect daddy, says December already, I say to myself, as I realize it's the perfect tens, Blur's Day. Happy Blur's Day, bud. Come to Chicago sometime soon. I have a home with spare bedrooms now. Power out. Jake's the perfect daddy.

But now, is he wishing a Blur's Day to a perfect ten, meaning our friend Nick? Our friend Nick, the perfect 10.

Exactly.

So I was tracking that.

Yes, thank you. So, yeah, he doesn't use the word Nick in here, but it's implied. It's the implication. So Nick, of course, is the perfect 10, has been dubbed the perfect 10 and celebrated appropriately over the years. And Jake is the person who introduced Nick to the show, making him the perfect daddy. Got to wait for it. Amy says, I have two Blursdays, one belated, oops. First, please wish a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, Heidi. Heidi's birthday was last Wednesday, and she was very sad when she didn't hear her Blursday message. She is amazing, and I honestly can't put into words what she means to me. By the way, Amy and Heidi, is this a 20 situation? We were talking recently on the show how usually we have a 10 and then an 11 who is not as into the show. But I'm thinking that Amy and Heidi might both be listeners and a couple. Sounds like it. Making them a 20. Amy's second message is happy birthday to Brenda. She's the one person who makes work bearable.

Wow, that's a long applause.

Yeah, it's pretty good. And it's distinct. You can hear what it is. Yes, I like that. It doesn't just sound like a ghost in the ocean or something. Whatever that is. Steve says, my wife. That's what I'm doing out here. You dropped a bomb on that song. Yeah, my wife Mia is a longtime fan. I think she calls me an 11 because she.

She's one of your tens, and I'm her plus one. I like to add that she scores 10 out of 10 on many fronts, beauty, intelligence, parenthood, and, of course, loving and putting up with me for 27 years. Holy smokes. That's a happy Blur's date to Mia from Steve.

Congratulations. Now, here's the deal. That's 17 marriages for me.

How's the math work on that? Steve sent that message in. I saw it this morning, but Sammy sent in a message. It sounds like there's a little bit of angst, just so you know. There's a little bit of angst surrounding Mia's birthday. Sammy says, this is a birthday shout-out to my mom, Mia. For the past couple of years, both my sibling and my dad have sent in shout-outs because this is her favorite podcast. But she has, in all caps, other children as well who love her just as much. So, Mom, I wanted to say happy birthday. So those are both from Mia, and I just want to say I love stirring a pot,

and I want Sammy to know. Yeah, we need more of that. We need to create more family drama where the way that the people prove their love to each other is by engaging with TBTL.

Exactly, and using Blur's Day messages in a sort of passive-aggressive, or even just aggressive-aggressive way, Sammy's— To communicate with each other. Exactly. Sammy's email did come in first. I just want everybody to know that, Sammy. Take your victory lap. Chris says, happy Blur's Day to Angela from Ohio. Great wife, mother, and TBTL10, the perfect trifecta. Happy Blur's Day, Angela. Jan says, time again to wish my amazing sister Sharon in Hillsborough, Oregon, another happy birthday. It's been another exhausting year for her, working to take care of our 96-year-old mom. Mom is still funny and sarcastic and doing as well as can be expected because of the selfless care from Sharon. Sharon, we want you to know how much we love and appreciate you and hope nobody does anything on your birthday per your demand. Oh, that sounds like an Andrew. Me and Sharon should not get together sometime and not celebrate our birthdays. Yeah, you could celebrate or not celebrate. That's right, for hours. Our pal Jackie says, happy Blur's Day to lawyer Danny in Arizona. Hey, Danny. I met Dani when she joined a group of us for the boat show, and I instantly knew that she was a real friend, though. It's been a wonderful time getting to know her, seeing her at TBTL events, and sharing silly drops that fit into our work days. Happy Blur's Day, Dani. All right. Chris says, happy Blur's Day, my sweet girlfriend and original 10, Dr. Aaron. Aaron just had a quick run-in with Luke at the Nike store in Portland.

Hey, yes, Aaron. Hi there, Aaron. Dr. Aaron. And happy Blur's Day.

Or hi there, Chris, and happy Blur's Day to Aaron. Aaron is an amazing friend, partner, educator, and overall human being. Her only slightly less-known talent lies in knocking down pins as a competitive league and tournament bowler. Rest assured, she can answer any questions you may have about equipment, etiquette, or lane conditions. Interessante. I have, this makes Genevieve sad when I say this, but I have been wondering lately if I'll ever play bowling again.

Because of the wrists?

Because of your arthritis? Because of the wrists and ankles and stuff.

I thought you were doing better, but not to that degree.

I am doing better, but I don't know if I pick up a 13-pound ball and hurl it better. I like to think it's not over for me. I certainly have been feeling better in the past few weeks or month or so, so maybe bowling's in my future. because when I think about, I'm not even joking, when I think like, man, have I bowled my last bowl, it really depresses me, you know what I mean? You never know when you've bowled your last bowl. Anybody, nobody knows.

No, and I was, also it's like I feel like bowling alleys are going the way of the dodo bird, at least the kind of bowling alleys you and I like. Yeah, exactly. Like you've got to act fast. I mean, there is just, there are not many left. The only bowling alleys, it seems, that can survive these turbulent financial times are the ones that are basically a nightclub. Yeah, right. That happens to have bowling.

There are still pockets. You got Linwood. You do have that one in Edmonds that I went to in the heart of cute Edmonds.

Oh, Robin Hood Lanes?

We talked about it a lot when I went. It might be they... I'd met the owner. Oh, wow. Lanes. Yeah, no. No, I think Robin Hood closed.

Yeah, I think Robin Hood is a CVS now or something, depressingly. Yes, exactly. Exactly, but in the bowling alley I was at, they had a big poster for Robin Hood, and I was like, wait, does that still exist? They're like, no, that's just sort of a tribute that came from the old one, but I can't find Edmund.

There's still Ranham underneath the nook in St. Paul, Minnesota.

Yeah, oh, and Spin Alley, that's the one. I want to shout them out. It was a really great place to bowl. The layout was a little funky, but good old-school bowling alley, Spin Alley, and you kind of get that spin room kind of mentality there.

This is a no spin zone, Andrew. I don't know if you know that.

Can we do one more? Can we do one more Blur's Day? See, I wanted to. Luke's always saying to me, no more Blur's Day. We're cutting it off there. And I say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We are going to do, no matter what, no matter how mad Luke gets, we're going to do one more Blur's Day here. And it's from our pal.

You're going to risk your very career for this.

Don't.

Man.

My boss thinks I'm crazy. Wait, that's not it. Kim, our pal Kim down in Florida says, I'd like to wish a happy Blur's Day to my TBTL daddy and husband, Sam. Hey, Sam. Happy Blur's Day. He's a pretty great life partner. Pretty great. I could read that in a couple of ways. I could say, he's a pretty great life partner, and that sounds pretty good. Or I could say, he's a pretty great life partner, and I'm happy to be celebrating another birthday together. Happy Blur's Day, Sam. I think you're pretty great, too.

And I'll just throw in a happy Blur's Day to my brother-in-law.

I'm sorry, we are out of time. That is all the time we have on the Blur's Day segment. No, sorry. Go ahead, Luke.

Josh had a birthday this week and told, he's also a dedicated skier, loves to ski, and told me he was catching up on his TBTL and was wishing me well with my eyeball, with my eye problem. Nice. So happy Blur's, Josh. We love you. I don't think I realize Josh listens to this show. I was, I guess you would say, pleasantly surprised. I know that there were times you know I think it has to do with because you know he and my sister Sarah run that restaurant Pollo Bravo and I think it has to do with what their work schedules are like and if he's got a lot of like you know basically time where he's doing repetitive tasks I think he might bubble up more in his schedule and then his schedule changes but I was yeah I was I'm always heartened when somebody from my real life says oh yeah I was catching up on the show the other day I just think wow that's that's that's shocking to me but but pleasantly so.

Yeah, earlier you sort of struggled looking for a word, and you went with pleasantly surprised. And I think I've told you about Genevieve and my favorite expression, pleasantly appalled. Do you remember this? We were on vacation somewhere, and it was day one of a vacation. And we went to, like, one of those little beach stores that sells all kinds of things, including booze. And we're like, well, we're going to get these mixers. And, like, well, let's get this bottle of vodka. And, like, whatever we were buying, it ended up looking like a lot of alcohol. But it was the first day of, like, you know, I don't know, five, ten-day vacation or something. And Veve said, wow, this is a lot of booze. I mean, do you think we'll get through it? And I just said, I think you'll be pleasantly appalled by the amount of booze that I will be able to go through. Oh, yeah. Like, I believe we restocked midweek, in fact. And so then we always use it.

Pleasantly appalled. Would that be a show title?

I think, you know, it might already be because I think I might have told you that once before.

Frosted Lucky Charms. They're pleasantly appalling.

Yes, right. All right. All right.

Well, happy Blur's Day, everybody. Okay. That's going to do it for today's show. Thank you all for tuning in. I might see some of you tonight at Revolution Hall where we're doing live wire. So come say hi afterwards and pretend like my eyelid isn't deeply upsetting. By the way, more on that in the Hey Dummies video in the newsletter this week. So watch this space for that. Anyway, have a great Thursday. We'll see you tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. In the meantime, please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all. Power out.