Muse

If an alien abducted me, took time out of his day, his or her day, to beam me up into a spaceship. Just me, not anybody else in the neighborhood. I would make love to them, because that means I was chosen, special. They didn't just beam up Sally next door, because she was out in her yard working. and they beam me up out of my own bed as I'm relaxing, playing Candy Crush. So if they took the time to specifically pick me out of all these other humans that are around me, yes, I'll make love. That shows effort. Unlike these people on Tinder who the only thing they want to do is scam me and catfish me and extort money from me. You never know. An alien might make such good love to you, you might fall in love with an alien. And I'm not opposed to that.

TBTL!

Well, well, here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.

Dude, the craziest thing happened to me this morning. I got in my car, turned it on, had the radio on the alt station, and the song playing was freaking a rabbit jangle. I shit you not. Blew my fucking mind. By the way, I'm a dentist.

Okay, so I read body language very, very well. If you two dirtbags ever mess with me again, I'll take this to the next level. You don't do 22 episodes of Celebrity Outhouse with Lorena Bobbitt without learning a few things.

Do you believe that? I do if you do. But it's absurd.

Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name's Luke Burbank. I'm your

host. Another day, another victory for the OG, taking down the sweats, the impostors

among us. Trying to manifest it being another victory for the OG. It was like a lot of victories for a lot of folks that we're not wishing that for. But the good news is I am here at the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia. It's another beautiful day. Oh, ma, pa, it's just beautiful. And for me personally, it's going to maybe get even more beautiful tomorrow when I'm doing the show, my half of the show from the tropical climate of

maui aloha means hello and goodbye goodbye that's right uh becca and i am making a very quick trip

over there to celebrate her birthday which is today by the way happy birthday honey and um maybe uh too quick of a trip because we'll be back on late on saturday night this is like the south pacific it is a place that until i don't know a hundred years ago almost no one had ever been except the folks living there i mean it would take it it could die trying to travel there you could spend a year you could get scurvy in an attempt to even glimpse the shores of maui and now we're going there for like three days or something but uh i'm not here to talk about that i'm here to talk about today which is episode 4386 in a collector series let the fun begin and i'm also here to talk about the fact that for the last i don't know few shows we've been trying to avoid the depressing news of the country and therefore have been promoting like more light-hearted stories out of other places and then not ever getting to the stories themselves i don't want any more at any time during the day from anyone that includes me that bs ends right here right now my friends or does it i don't know we'll find out together i know this for a fact we gotta talk to this guy he's like the longest running cobro of the show and also like the coolest person i've ever met maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships he's andrew walsh and he's joining

me right now good morning my friend good morning luke um i was taking notes during the intro to the show today i don't know if you can see that i can't i can't i have my glasses on so i can see very clearly my writing is a little bit scribbled says writing quickly so here's what i would like to do if you'll allow it and i know we really want to get to the top stories and we're a little bit tight on time but please allow this i have comments or questions regarding four different drops some of which we played in the in the pre-recorded intro package two of which you played the first one okay phone call from the person who left us a voice

voicemail about hearing Barabajagal on the radio in their car. That is one of my favorite TBTL voicemails of all time. It goes back probably close to 10 years now. I have no idea who it is.

We know you were part of the show because there was no Barabajagal discourse before Andrew Walsh arrived on the scene.

I mean, I'm pretty sure Sean DeTorey used to bring up Donovan quite a bit, but he was more of a deeper track. That was kind of more of a pop hit for him, and so he disregarded it. But I would like to say, you know, we know a lot of our listeners kind of personally from meeting them or, you know, emailing with them. And a lot of people who call the voicemail line are sort of regular callers to the voicemail line. So I get to know them that way. I have no idea who that person is. But if you are still listening in the year of our Lord 2025, will you reach out to me? I would love to know who you are, because I swear I would remember that voice. And it's so good. And I just love that you checked in on Barabajaggle. So thank you. And if you're listening, please get at me.

It's funny that that was one of the four things you wanted to discuss here at the top of the show. Because when I heard that little snippet of tape, I thought, I don't know who that is. But I do care to find out. I do care to find out, yes. I thought, that person sounds fun. They sound fierce.

Yes, exactly.

They sound like they're a barrel of fun. And I couldn't tell you based on the voice who that is. And like you, I know the other day, oh, it was Becca posted a picture on her Instagram feed of she and I post running that little race over the weekend. And she was getting a lot of likes on it and a lot of likes from people that weren't that were following her on Instagram, but that weren't like part of her social circle of friends. And she would just list a name and I would say that person lives in such and such place.

Yes.

And I was like giving her, she was like, this is insane. You know all these people? I was like, yeah. How many listeners do you think we have? Yeah. I know all of them. And it's like our friend Maggie and Swarthmore, PA. And then it was like our friend Nate Holtman. It was like I was just giving her chapter and verse on every single person who was smashing the like button. All that is to say you and I have a pretty, and I'm sure now John Sklaroff, TBTL employee numero uno. We have a pretty good sense of who most of the folks in the TBTL universe are because, honestly, there aren't that many of them. We've been hanging with them for going on now almost a decade and a half. And so when you get somebody like that who sounds fun and flirty and excited and you don't know who it is, it sticks out.

Yeah, and it's good energy. We could use more of that energy, but I don't know if that person is still listening or not. But if you are, let me know. So the next note is just a note of appreciation for just one of the best jokes, I think, in pop culture history, which is you don't do two seasons of Celebrity Outhouse with Lorraine and Bobbitt without learning a few things. Again, it's just one of those perfect 30 Rock jokes that just hits so many things all at once. That is just so wonderful. I don't know that we need to pause there. I just wanted to appreciate that. Did you?

I recently, I don't even think I watched. It troubles me deeply Which tells you that my life is going okay If this is the kind of thing that troubles me deeply But I'm always like I'm always confused and slash a little disappointed When I see a 30 Rock thing that I don't remember When it happened In the wild because it makes me wonder Am I missing, were there like episodes I didn't watch or seasons I didn't watch I can't imagine that's the case But I saw this clip the other day Of some episode where there's a fundraiser Where they have Jenna singing the most general song for like a NBC or like a whatever they're called there Cable Town or something

Then they blow off fireworks in the heart of Manhattan and everybody thinks it's a terrorist attack but they're trying to do some sort of huge NBC like we are the world kind of

thing. But it has to be it's not specific for anything so Jenna's singing a song about how everyone who saw the thing that happened are thinking about what the thing was that had gone on she's singing this very inspirational song that's completely devoid

of detail i'm trying to figure out the best way because i know exactly what you're talking about i just can't uh that's right she also i'm just remembering this now i also think one of the best jokes is america's kids got singing that she's like one of the celebrity judges that's something else totally i'm just thinking of it because now in our house like i mean literally for 15 years vives and i will only refer to those kind of like late night like kind of reality uh you know contestant shows as america's kids got singing it's all that by the way i do want to um well these other ones aren't super important two things on the list and i want to hear them i did want to say i was i had some actual Ambivalence, meaning actual mixed emotions, going between excited and predismayed, not over anything that we've talked about this week, but instead the resurgence of Hollywood squares. I was watching one of the NFL games this weekend, one of the playoff games. Oh, I know. It was like the Sunday night one or the Sunday afternoon one because I actually was able to watch it on Paramount Plus because we have Paramount Plus. So it was like I actually saw an actual broadcast of it as it's supposed to be broadcast, as opposed to my new thing, which is watching Canadian TV. Somebody sent me a Canadian leak site where you can basically watch all kinds of American TV. You basically just switch through it. It's all kinds of live programming, including football games. But it's through Canadian broadcasters. So I'm seeing all kinds of Canadian commercials now. It's just all Tim Hortons. They just call them Tims now. They're just going with Tims. They're very familiar. For real. So anyway, what was I going to say? Oh, so I'm watching the actual CBS slash Paramount Plus broadcast of this football game, and they keep on, you know, promoting the Hollywood Squares. And, like, I have fond memories of the original Hollywood Squares, and it's not like this is some sort of, you know, the one in the 70s or 80s that I saw. It wasn't some sort of, you know, artistic endeavor that I feel like should not be rebooted. why not just bring a bunch of like b and c list celebrities put them up in some squares get to spoof and get to goof and let's see if you can make me laugh i was like locked in and ready to watch it but i think it maybe started to i don't know i didn't feel like hearing josh allen give post game interviews it was unclear exactly when it started but i was like ready to watch a show after the game the way the announcers are always telling me to do and i thought it was notable and And I thought it was notable that they're bringing back a daytime game show in a primetime slot. I guess that was my big point of all this is like when we make new game shows these days, the world is so different. We don't slot them in on a weekday when I grew up watching them like 1130 Bob Barker and the Price is Right is on. No, no, you're putting that in primetime now.

Well, a couple I've actually many thoughts on this and I want to just manage. I want to level set here. I don't think we're getting to the top stories. because i've got nothing but thoughts on this okay good um they start with nate burleson if you would have told me in 1994 one of the kids that were attending school in the metro school district were going to be hosting a game show on cbs is it going to be oday star wide receiver nate burleson or aspiring radio nerd luke burbank i would have really hoped it was aspiring radio nerd Luke Burbank the ascendance of Nate Burleson to being one of the main broadcasters in America

is not something I saw coming I did not recognize him I even asked Genevieve who is the host and she didn't know either so who's this Nate Burleson I mean I guess I picked up a lot from context there he was a is he somebody who came up he went to O'Day High School and then he became famous as talk show host after being a professional athlete yes he was a football player i believe he might

have played for i think he might have played for the university of nevada um and then he was a minnesota viking and he was always on my radar because he had been a star at oday high school um and then he got into you know football commentary and then he did the kind of he achieved strahan velocity which is he was able to escape the bounds of purely football content as a broadcaster you know every once in a while you get a guy who sneaks out a guy who's like known for football calling football but then jumps over to regular kind of morning talk show news stuff they call that a very wide out is that position you go so wide you end up on cbs the

right morning leave the stadium can i just say that that makes i was one of the things that i thought was funny in this quick very very basic I mean very mid promo for CBS I thought they included a pretty good joke which was one of the um one of the contestants saying to Burlington watch yourself or we'll get Michael Strahan in here to take your job which I thought was funny anyway but now knowing that they had the same the the same like that you would say that he's Strahan-esque makes that even a funnier joke to me so um I've always Nate Burlington has always

been again somebody that i've followed because of us both being in seattle at the same time he's actually when i said 1994 uh nate burleson was was a wee was a wee pup he was probably in eighth grade because i'm actually like five years older than him point being i'm impressed and jealous as you can hear in my voice that he has become the big star that he has i think it is well deserved i actually really like him a lot um so uh i but i but i'll tell you this not i mean he is the hardest working feller in broadcasting these days because not only is he The he's on all that, you know, CBS is like football coverage He does a lot of it, but he's also he's like the co-host with Gayle King and Tony de Coppola of CBS this morning and So he's doing that five days a week. Then he's doing the football stuff. Now. He's hosting Hollywood Squares The guy is it's a it's all coming together for Nate. Okay, that's not into it I'm into it. I want to check him to listen if it's gonna happen to somebody who's not me I would just as I'm very glad it's Nate Burleson Okay. Second observation about this. I think part of the reason why this has gone from being a daytime show that you remember to being a nighttime show is because it's all about existing IP and existing awareness. And probably a lot of the people like you and I who grew up with an awareness of Hollywood Squares from it being on in daytime, maybe it's summer, maybe your home, whatever, they don't have to explain to us what Hollywood Squares is. we already know and that's who they're trying to get now granted they would like also to bring in some younger people but if you've seen any of the promos for any of the network content on cbs you know they've given up on anyone under the age of 50 you know like 50s generous i mean i know

we gotta be a little careful to the hand that feeds you but yeah i am shocked that they'll

be there they'll never hear this they don't know what podcasting is um but i would i just would

say though i'm confused about the existing ip because hollywood squares of course was a show from the 60s that they were you know the game shows have been doing this forever then we watched a re you and i or at least my generation watched a new hollywood squares yeah that was like started like mid 80s i think but they still decided to keep it in the middle of the day what does ip

have to do with time placement i didn't i well i didn't mean i didn't mean ip in the strict sense what i meant was what i meant was public awareness of something if you're going to put a new show on if you're gonna put a show like there was some show i don't maybe it's still on fox called like the floor with rob low and you'd see promos for this thing while you were watching football on fox and i would think i know what a rob low is i don't know i know what a floor is in general i don't know what a the floor with rob low is do i want to learn a new do i want to learn a new game show where it's a like a character named chonky comes out you had all summer you know don't that's my computer no you have an idea of what you're gonna do no i was like i don't i don't want to learn a new show called the floor with rob low even though i like rob low too so i see what i mean is do you know like does he have a team he's like you he's a fan of super wild card weekend he loves the shield he's a fan of nfl he's a fan of the shield yep do you realize that you're in a way you're becoming rob low in a lot of ways one very handsome two they're looking at you to do the ads for the atkins shakes and see you're also generally a fan of football i i'm

shy peeing rob low remember those commercials those were so good yeah so i all i'm trying

all i'm trying to say is my theory about why this jumped from daytime to prime time was because in the olden days they had other stuff to play in prime time that was getting massive numbers they were playing love boat they're playing night rider they were playing nypd blue we were all hoping to see a shot of Sipowicz's ass. Just a quick, quick shot of that old man's little butt. But now they're like, nothing is working in primetime because nobody's watching TV the same. Guess what's really cheap to make? Hollywood Squares. Yes, it's cheaper. But also, you've heard of it, so maybe we'll get some eyeballs on it because there's a familiarity there. So now it's sort of a downgrade for the overall ambition of the time slot, but an upgrade for something called Hollywood Squares. Does that make any sense?

Yeah, it's an upgrade for the TV show, a downgrade for the time slot. Like, we'll throw this at the wall. I don't know what they're doing with, I mean, literally, I don't mean this.

By the way, I'm only halfway through my thoughts on Hollywood Squares.

I'm only halfway through my notes on drops. Sorry, woman who still has her Halloween costume. By the way, fight the power. We're with you. Fight the power. Don't steal my take. I was going to say, you know, I know that they're still making straight up like game shows, like lesser, less pricey game shows, let's say, because when I visited my mom and grandmother, like a few.

There are game shows that are on in the daytime, you're telling me. There are game shows. Aside from just Price is Right, there's others.

But like there are new newish ones. Who's the guy? It's Michael Higgins Clark No Is that Am I pulling that name For the first time in my life

Wait The guy that We're the number one show On Sinking Riverboat Yes Did I get his name right If I got his name right Is there a Clark Is it just Michael Higgins You definitely got two You definitely There's a Michael and a Higgins

That is so close to I can never remember his name It's not just

John Michael Higgins. I'm giving you two out of three. You took the series. All you got to do, Andrew, it's about winning series.

It was a parlay, Luke.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, it's bad news. You need all three to come through then. You really do. All right, so I'm very excited that I got his name right. He hosts a show that I had never seen before, so I should mention my grandma passed away somewhat recently. I'm saying that so you can send me sympathy, of course. Yes. I'm sorry, by the way. That was a while back. But I visited her and my mom and they were both they were both staying in this the same facility. My mom is in the kind of a care facility as well. And they both they don't neither one of them get around that well anymore. And so they both watch a lot of daytime television. And I was shocked at. So there's like a Yahoo based game show. It's like Yahoo Answers based game show. And like the search engine. Yes. and it still seems to be going strong or at least strong in reruns and for huge chunks of the day it's that alternated by this Michael Higgins John Michael Higgins game show which is also some sort of a it's called America Says that I'm looking up now it looks like maybe that ended in 2022 so maybe there it was 2018 to 2022 so actually that's now three years ago but like there are these like game shows that are being produced that are in the middle of the day for that audience, you and I just don't know about it because we're not watching our Canadian leak television during the day, apparently.

America says, let's see, I'm on his Wikipedia page as well. I guess my question is, are they on? And I'm not trying to quibble here. I'm trying to understand, okay? Are they on? Do you have a sense of what network you were watching? Was it like a network program or was this high up in the cable channel?

No, so this was what I was watching was clearly reruns of the show, but it was a modern show. In other words, I think my family was probably watching some sort of game show network situation. And so they were definitely, like that time, do you remember the very, very fine memory of, do you remember the memory? I could have said that better. Do you remember the very fine time that you, me, and my brother-in-law, Zachary, spent in a somewhat weird Airbnb in Arizona? And one night we just.

In the pool house behind a bunch of Kansas City Royals fans who were renting the main house.

And do you remember the evening that we watched two game shows that just kept alternating back and forth in a marathon forever? It was incredible. One was Family Feud and the other one was Cash Cab, I believe. And we could not get enough. We just sat there. I think relatively, I could be wrong, but I think relatively sober. Like, I don't even think this was like a late night, like kind of just put on TV. No, we were just locked in. line lining these two shows and it kept going back and forth basically that's what i experienced when i was in arizona visiting family it went back and forth from america says to yahoo answers so these were two shows that maybe we weren't watching them live on nbc but certainly they were in production somewhere in the you know in in the recent years game show central is probably

the network that was being watched um and that was that's one of i'm at the america says well Well, I'm at the gameshownetwork.com website, and they're saying that they still play America Says. So I bet you that's maybe how you were experiencing this.

But, like, so I guess my point with all of that is I guess they're still making the even less expensive shows and they're escaping our radar. But I guess Hollywood Squares isn't a cheap show because you're actually getting some – you're filling up the grid with some sort of talent that must be paid as opposed to just getting like, you know, well, Andrew from Seattle on to see if he can go up against the guy I like to call John Higgins Clark.

By the way, one thing back to John Michael Higgins and his Wikipedia page if I can find it. If you are – let me see. Can I get to this? If you're looking for the Australian metallurgist, who's also named John Michael Higgins, that's a disambiguation. So make sure you're looking at the right John Michael Higgins. You get very confused.

Do you know that that was the first thing that popped up to me? Because I typed in John Higgins or something like that. And I had like a very British elderly guy looking back at me.

The other thing I was going to say is, you know, you kind of mentioned and I feel like here's my experience with Hollywood Squares as a kid. I never I didn't actually watch it much, but it was such a punchline in the culture and this idea that it was kind of like sort of washed up stars, but they'd go on there and they'd act wacky or whatever. And, you know, there was always this like, well, you got Charles Nelson Reilly on there and he's gay, but we're not saying it. But he's giving these kind of like quirky answers that are kind of a wink and a nod towards some sort of a quote unquote alternative lifestyle. Later, I think replaced kind of by Bruce Valanche. Bruce Valanche in the new Hollywood squares was kind of the like, and I'm hoping by the time Bruce got on there, we were a little more accepting of, of, of.

who people were but um uh i i just knew that it was kind of like a a place where you parked movie stars of yesteryear to give them something to do or whatever but i'm looking at the list for this hollywood squares and that's not i mean it isn't pretty legit drew barrymore uh let's see uh julie bowen from modern family oh yeah the new one oh yeah yeah yeah i saw tiffany haddish is Tiffany Haddish is pretty at the top of her game, I would say, as far as, you know, RuPaul. Like, there's, you know, the list of people, there are some people that are maybe a little less well-known. Like, I'd say probably Nicole Byer, who's a really funny comedian, who I've worked with before, is on the list. Maybe a little less kind of public awareness. But, you know, Drew Carey, speaking of which, Drew Carey is on there. He is, but I didn't see him. He's a panelist. You know, so they've got some, Robert Smigel is apparently a panelist. Tyra Banks is a panelist.

But I recognize a lot. I'm telling you, Luke, the promo was good. You had the stray hand joke. You had some familiar faces, some people that I do know make me laugh. And I'm interested in maybe watching that show. My concern is that I'm sure they saved all the best stuff for the promo.

So this is also Chelsea Peretti's on there, who I love. I think Chelsea Peretti is amazing. What I'm wondering, though, is is it progress? Oh, J.B. Smoove looks like he's on here sometimes. is it progress that we don't do we need a whatever the latest iteration of a charles nelson riley is and by that i mean a person who is introducing middle america to some sort of a way of being in the world that maybe they're not deeply familiar with you know what i mean like i think there was probably something semi-important about having a hollywood square who was someone that we understood to be different you know in this case potentially gay i guess and like that would seem like that was probably kind of a good thing that's probably how a lot of people became maybe a little bit more acclimated to the idea that there was somebody out there who was gay but it was not a threat to them now i don't think that's i mean thankfully i hope anyway we've mostly moved on from that although with the doings this week in dc i guess i don't want to speak too soon i wouldn't say that

acceptance is at all level at historically high levels right now in america i would well is it

time to i'm just saying hollywood squares was in its own way maybe just in my mind a vehicle for kind of through humor sort of presenting a small bit of social change and it doesn't maybe it's maybe it's doing that in ways i don't understand i just doesn't seem like this doesn't seem like that show is doing that i don't know who that would be anymore i don't know what person from what particular group of folks would help move the needle but anyway it's just like

that sounds like such a very personal take though i feel like what you're bringing to the take is your experience as a very young person in the 80s maybe being exposed to these folks and then opening up your eyes to maybe a certain kind of humor so i i don't know i would be sort of surprised to hear anybody say that that was sort of a mission driven thing on how that's why it's such a good take you're not hearing it other places however i am shocked and and and well just shocked to to learn that bruce valanche was in the movie ice pirates have you ever seen the

movie ice pirates it's a very i i'm it's one of those things that it exists again in my like hollywood squares i'm aware of it i didn't see it does that make sense yeah and i remember so

it's like a very gritty low budget like comedic space opera i think wow that was a lot of words but i think they're all correct if you take them all together and apply them to the ice pirates And it was the type of movie that was on TV a lot when I was a kid or maybe just once or twice, but it's just stood out. And it always it kind of gave me the bad feeling a little bit because there's some really scary scenes where, like, the main characters, it's like kind of bawdy as well as dark.

It's one of those movies where they they got a little too real with it, considering it was kind of aimed at kids.

There's a scene where they're strapped down to like a moving conveyor belt that is going to essentially make them eunuchs. And they're getting closer and closer to these chomping like metal jaws as they are. Whoa, eunuchs. Did I say, I said eunuchs, right? No, you did. I'm just saying that's a pretty like intense thing for a kid. Yeah, to see like these jaws of demolition, I guess, coming right at the junk of these guys who are strapped down. Great Pixies record, by the way. Yeah, it was kind of a – only released in Germany, I think. Jaws of Demolition. But I do think I went back. I think I had Sean, like in the very early days of our burgeoning relationship, I think I had Sean DeTorey over to my house to watch The Ice Pirates, or at least we planned on doing that because we both remembered it from our youth. But I don't recall if I ever went back as an adult and watched the whole thing. My guess is it probably does not. not pay off and like except in just a maybe if you really like campy movies but i'm not the type

of guy who likes to watch bad movies to laugh at them you know right that's also not my uh sort of thing by the way i'm not ignoring you i'm trying to find in my phone if i can locate a show pick for today's episode of bruce valanche in an airport because the funny thing is i think i've seen bruce valanche in the airport a minimum of three times he is probably the celebrity if you will that i have just observed and maybe because both of us are just road warriors and often flying out of burbank like i definitely was i was definitely in burbank with him and i want to say like sky harbor to the point where i took a photo of him and sent it to becca and i was like i keep seeing bruce valanche um so uh that's you know basically the end of that observation but There's something about my travel pattern and the travel patterns of Bruce. Oh, you know what? Maybe it was even Palm Springs, but I'll try to see if I can find that photo and send it to you for the show pic.

We could probably get him on the show. I mean, I don't know if I have a lot of questions for Bruce Valanche, but I'm looking to see if I can find whatever scene he's in in the Ice Pirates. I'm coming up zero on that, but I am seeing a bunch of podcasts have interviewed him about his role in Ice Pirates and apparently also the Star Wars holiday special or something as well.

You know that Well, next time I see him in the airport I'll buttonhole him You know that, of course, Charles Nelson Reilly He was in the original Or one of the early iterations His whole thing was doing something kind of crazy with his glasses You know, or He would make this funny noise And he would pull on his glasses I'm realizing today, Andrew, look at this You and I almost have the same glasses on Look at the shape Because you got new glasses a while ago And I've just started these are just reading glasses they're just easy peasy is the company that makes them but they have

similar shapes right like yours are definitely more designy see yours are a little bit yours are round are those the ones that you got at a museum shop yes like thank you well see look at you oh i know those glasses well those are those are classy glasses those are a little bit i got

them at the um at the new york public library the gift shop at the new york public library in bryant

park yeah and they're readers but they're good i can't see how the years are smaller i can't wear small round glasses like those are kind of pop on you a little bit if my glasses get too small it just my my face is just too big i have too big of a face especially with my growing you know

forehead so i can't well i think your glasses look very nice on you but but i do think you know like usually whether intentionally i think mostly intentionally like we don't usually like if we're doing something we won't both be wearing baseball caps or like we want to try to have a little differentiation between the two of us but as my eyesight uh continues to let's just say regress to the mean i guess as a 48 year old i think this is just what happens and i wear these glasses more and more i feel like we're going to be like we are now a podcast where we're we're two we're two guys with glasses that's never been the branding of the podcast but we are kind of moving into that because i wrote this on on the ascendant social media platform blue sky a while ago and i was I was half joking but I was being kind of serious the the progression from at least for me you had a different progression because you wore glasses from a young age but I wear a progression but you wear progressive lenses I for me the progression from I didn't need glasses to I gotta wear glass I need to wear glasses sometimes to where the hell are my glasses like I can't read this without my glasses it it's happened at lightning speed like well like Hemingway said about the end of democracy precisely and i think that happens slowly that all it was are comparable issues but like i am now i'm now at the point where if i'm trying to read you know small print or anything on my phone and i don't have these glasses nearby it's now possible that i will not actually be able to make out i used to be able to just hold it a little further away or something it's now become like something that i really actually need to function and it means that Like, more and more when we're doing, let's say if we're doing TBTL Live somewhere or even just doing this show, we are now, like, when people start drawing caricatures of us, it's a two glasses experience potentially, which has never been the vibe of the show.

What do you think of, I'm assuming you saw something that is a big assumption on my part, but Genevieve was at a work event. I think it was, like, her work's New Year's party, but it was well into the New Year's. like i don't know january 6th or 7th or something um and there was a caricaturist there and genevieve texted me i i don't remember where i was but i remember i was out she's like there's a caricaturist here should i have him do my caricature i'm like of course you should um and then i'm shocked she even asked that's a hard yes yes and then she I don't know. texted me it and then i got really defensive on her behalf i'm like that's not fair to you did you see it i think she posted it on instagram and she's very happy with it i i don't i think i mean listen the i can't believe we still have caricaturists you must be the most it must be the most hated job in america right you're like you sit down and you're like yeah do me and then you look at yourself and you're just like i'm all jowls what are you doing here no no that's well

well okay the only thing i have more thoughts about than hollywood squares i got through two of my drop well we need some for tomorrow's show yes we do um is are these caricaturists because i actually i mean here's the thing that the art of doing a caricature is to draw the person in the most flattering sort of construction of them which you know again is this even a conversation about body type i don't know anymore andrew you can't say anything but when i was coming up if you saw a caricaturist they're sitting on the boardwalk or the beach or whatever they're and they were to draw you which never happened to me as a kid because it was eight bucks or something they would draw you with like a large head and big expressive eyes and a nice shape to you and then a tiny svelte little body and then you're like on a surfboard like in other words the the first rule of caricature is you make the person look much more appealing than maybe they look in real life and they're never going to be mad at you. Now, here's the thing. The only caricature that I've ever sprung for was me and Addy. And I want to say we were in maybe Chicago. It might have been New York. I think it was Chicago. And this caricature is legendary because we got the only honest caricaturist in the game. And they drew Addy and I as two people who have the saddest eyes. like there's so much pain behind our smiles like it made us look like this person's drawing drawing drawing you're sitting there posing and i'm just like can't wait i can't wait to have a huge muscle bound chest and to be like you know i can't wait to look like rock hudson in beach blanket bingo or something and for my daughter who's very beautiful irl but for my beautiful daughter to look even more beautiful like this is what i'm waiting for because you can't see what they're drawing. And then the person turns it around to us, and it was the least flattering caricature of all time. And all I could think was, dude, we don't even care if it looks like us as long as the people look hot. You failed.

Well, that's why I'm saying, I mean, apparently you did not see it. I'm sending it to you now, but that's why I think

I liked it on Instagram. I thought it was a nice picture.

Really? I thought this caricaturist did Genevieve dirty on this one. I don't think it represents her. Okay, are you texting or emailing? I just texted it to you. I mean, it really emphasizes big front teeth. Oh, I think she's charming

looking in it i mean i thought i don't like it oh that's so interesting i mean you know you know like what yeah i i thought it was this was a really cute picture because it's as the young people had stopped saying months ago it's giving like one of the cartoon girl chipmunks with the alvin and the chipmunks i think i always kind of had a crush on them like this is i think a good caricature because this is of course not what genevieve looks like exactly but it's a very like a warm charming welcoming i would say cute person being represented in here even though it's not hyper realistic i would have killed for this treatment when addy and i got our caricature although i'll tell you this it's better how bad ours was because we talk about it to this day because andrew let me stress even if you don't think this is a nice depiction of genevieve the person in the caricature looks happy we got a caricaturist who drew two sad-eyed precious moments people like large mournful eyes like it was but addy and i still talk about all these

years later so then maybe that was a better outcome do you remember the i'm blanking on his name here uh but i'm googling it oh yeah david lieb hart did a caricature of me and Genevieve, when we were in L.A., we were just, like, leaving the, what's the Tar Pits Museum? Oh, La Brea Tar Pits? The La Brea Museum. No, we weren't even leaving. I think we were just heading towards it, because we sort of lived in that area. We're like, why have we, we've driven past this place a million times. So, like, on a Saturday, we're like, let's just go check it out, I think on a whim.

Let's just go put one foot in this tar. Just to see how it goes.

Just to see how it goes. And then we're walking in, and, like, but we're still, like, you know, I don't know, quite away from the doors. But there's, like, this long sidewalk. It's kind of like a park out there. And then sitting on, like, a park bench is David Lieb Hart, who people would know from, like, some sketches from the Tim and Eric show. He was one of those guys who was, like, kind of a cable access guy. And, like, definitely, like, a caricature of himself in many ways, too, and deals with various things. And he was out there selling cassette tapes of his music and offering to do caricatures. And so we're like, yeah, absolutely. I don't know where that thing is right now. But I remember I liked it. I remember liking it quite a bit. Look.

in any way kind of did it represent anything about the two of you like was it an okay caricature i

thought so yeah super abstract no no no oh no he was it was a straight-up caricature i don't think he was doing any outsider art or anything with it i think it was a caricature and i liked it i thought it was flattering um but uh yeah that's a special remember when i bumped into him on the way out of

the hollywood bowl and i think i was trying to videotape it to send it to you and all he was doing was yelling at me to put money in the thing yeah i was about to do but first i wanted to get a little video of his performance and he just was like pointing down to the like thing like if you're gonna videotape me and i was like i get it i'll give you you know the five bucks or whatever but i just wanted i just didn't you guys also get a cd of his or something i think we got maybe a cd

or maybe even a cassette tape i'm not exactly sure he was selling his music and each cassette was like you know there was no uniformity to it i think you'd like each one was made individually so he was just out there like trying to you know get his hustle on or whatever but it was like it was very much like i know it's like you can run into like the the a-est of a-list celebs in la but i just like it and i never cared about that like genevieve would be like oh that's so and so from like veep in the corner like you know some tertiary character i'm like okay yeah i don't care uh i never really got excited except for david lieb hart i think was the biggest

I know how that is There are people that are a little I was listening to the Stern show The other day And basically they were talking about this character Ronnie the limo driver And it's like Ronnie the limo driver was Howard Stern's limo driver Would just drive him to the studio in Manhattan For 30 years And then became kind of a Character on the show And is now a person who Other people are nervous to talk to Because he's such a big celebrity yeah like and like jimmy kimmel was flying ronnie the limo driver over to la to be at the kimmel show when share was going to be there because ronnie the limo driver is a big share aficionado and uh or fan of hers or whatever it's just funny how it somebody's actual i guess let me let me compare us if i can to david liebhart and ronnie the limo driver like on the one hand it's shocking to me when anyone is ever excited to meet us, like if it's at a TBTL event or whatever, because it's like, we are not celebrities. But I guess if you spend enough time in the audio presence of a couple of folks, it's actually at some point less about are you a celebrity and more just like has some sort of connection been made that now makes this an exciting event? Because people are legit excited to meet us and I legit can't understand that but also I was legit excited to

send you a video of david lieb hart so i worry about him a little bit not to take it to like a less fun place but you talk about ronnie the limo driver like i wish dave leave lieb hart enjoyed more of that kind of celebrity but i think he would you know for a very small section of the population who's like really dialed in on a show that's pretty old now tim and eric you know and his roles on there and i remember even in the moment like genevieve i think made some conversation and maybe asked about somebody else who used to be on the show or something, like another one of these people who kind of made the – one of the more non-famous people who made the crossover from doing some sort of really quirky thing on cable access, and then Tim and Eric sort of brought them over. And you and I have had the conversation, too, about whether or not it was somewhat exploitative or not. I think from what I've read, I think they were well taken care of, and they were performers performing what they wanted to perform, only on a larger stage. So I think it was all on the up and up in hindsight, but in talking with Dave Lee Hart, it was sort of sad. He just sort of like went on and on, like kind of spilling some sort of, you know, negative tea about the other people and then like very quickly became like, I don't understand what you're talking about anymore. like just assuming we know all the background of this thing and like it was kind of like oh yeah and so i don't think that he is able to live kind of like the the type of life that you and i enjoy in a certain way and i don't mean because of his fame but i think that he's probably i don't know struggles with something has some demons absolutely how do you feel about joe estevez being a character on on cinema that's been going on for quite some time it's back by the way yes i'm seeing a lot of

new on cinema clips now they're in the movie house have you seen this no i mean here do you

want to know the maybe the funniest thing about this is i got an update from hei industries saying you just renewed your membership for 55 for another year i'm like do that i never even watched like last i just remember feeling about a year ago like you know what i really want to support what these guys do because i think the money doesn't go to tim so much as just like i I think Greg. Probably Greg and Joe Estevez. Yeah, exactly. And so I was like, oh, I'll throw a little, what did Newman used to say? I'll throw a little candy on that or whatever. Then I kind of forgot, and now I'm just – I never – I'm like, I'm going to watch all of the On Cinema archives. I'm now a paying member. I don't think I ever watched much of anything. It's just tapped into my bank account now.

I just see it in 30-second or minute-long clips on TikTok, which it might be the right amount, honestly, because it's – But there's something new where now, I think this season, and by the way, if you're unfamiliar, this is an impossible to describe kind of show that's, I guess, technically associated with Adult Swim. That's when you go to Joe Estevez's Wikipedia page, as I am right now, it says that he's part of On Cinema, which then the reference is Adult Swim. But it's like Tim Heidecker From A Million Things That We Love And Greg Turkington Also who Was Oh my gosh how can Andrew Neil Hamburger came on One of the least popular guests we've ever had Because people didn't understand that it was all a meta joke But he just comes on and he just grouses People did not like Neil Hamburger But anyway The show is them reviewing movies But there's of course all this like amazingly subtle and weird subplots where like for one thing greg turkington's character uh loves all movies which is the funniest thing he doesn't ever think any movie is bad so his critic his critique is totally useless um uh tim heidecker's character is always like branching off into these other weird subplots and he looks very different every season this

new season his hair is dyed black god he's like very plasticky by the way this is kind of sallow This is Turkington on James Bond. I pulled this drop years and years and years ago,

but it gives an example of how he just loves everything. No one enjoys James Bond more than I do. I mean, any time you have a chance to see a James Bond film, you've got to see it. They're all great movies. There has not been a James Bond movie that's not a 10 out of 10. I don't know.

It doesn't really go anywhere, but that's just his attitude on everything.

The T-shirts that he's wearing are always pitch perfect from some random movie.

Oh, that's my favorite thing. He's always wearing something from the swag bag.

It's always a movie shirt, but it's just from a very forgettable Hollywood film. Yes. So what I'm piecing together is that this latest season, they're all moving into Greg Turkington's house for some reason, which is being called the movie house. I don't know if it's like a reality show or like a hype house where, you know, they're all going to like, basically it's going to be somehow the content will be that they all live together. but now it's like tim heidecker's character has a new i don't know what this woman's role is exactly here's the thing and andrew this is now this content is exclusively for you so if you want to donate fifty dollars a year to me for this content you can on a recurring basis like what i'm always fascinated by i you know greg turkington's in on the joke or in on the whatever it is tim heidecker is clearly in on it but when they bring in these other sidekicks and they don't give them a specific like job to do other than to hang out on the set i'm so curious about what the explanation is to them because like this is this latest version whatever season they're on tim heidecker has this new woman i'd say she's sort of a middle-aged uh woman who is sitting next to him in one of those director chairs and when he's kind of talking to greg turkington in their weird super improvised bizarro lingo that that we as the viewers understand they understand that we understand right it's this huge meta joke what do the other people that are on set who are clearly like you said brought in off of you know craigslist or something and and this woman is not a lieb heart like she's just a normalish person what does she think is going on and what is her how allowed how much is she allowed to improv along with them like what is how much is tim heidecker trying to control what's going on so that it fits into what they're doing i just that's what i want to know i want to know the behind the scenes of on cinema well i also we might just need

to see the in front of the scenes though too because as you mentioned you're just seeing clips of it as am i that's a good thing is they're clipping it out from longer running things and i think that there's a like is this woman you're talking about does she almost present like a news not a newscaster that was last year it's a different person okay because person they slip into like again tim's character slips into different stereotypes season to season and last season he was like sort of a fast talking like kind of conservative there's a lot of like kind

of fox news charlatan and a lot of like alpha like alpha brain he was like selling supplements and things right and there was some there's what is it like there's a company that he's aligned

with called like something industries oh it's i think it's the hei and the i is industry We'll be right back. is Heidecker Enterprises Industries.

But there's another company that he's like, again, I need, you know, you're right, Andrew, you said something truly wise this show for once. You said, before I analyze the behind the scenes, maybe I should watch the in front of the scenes.

And I think I sent you my login if you have any issues. Somebody should be using that money that I'm paying.

You know, honestly, now that I can't look at the real news anymore, maybe this will be a safe harbor for me. So thank you. You've done me a great kindness.

speaking of donor support andrew it's time for us to thank some donors of this here thing

tbtl that's right much like the high network uh we uh we rely on your financial support and it's the only way that we could do this five days a week as our job this is our job and John Sklaroff's job, and we are so grateful for that. And we're grateful for folks like Alan Mullenix, who's in Battle Creek, Michigan.

Thank you so much, Alan. And Luke, I hope it's okay to spoil this, but we have a complete 50-50 split today on cities that have two names or one name, or two word names or one word name. So we have a Battle Creek, Michigan. That's okay.

Two word name. Gotcha. Battle Creek. And again, that's isn't that where when you read the cereal box, it always say Battle Creek, Michigan. Wasn't that where the brothers made their wellness center? Oh, I don't know. I didn't I didn't realize that. Yeah. A lot of cereal, a cold cereal coming out of Battle Creek. And I thought of that because just to reference back to it, the episode of the Ezra Klein show where he's talking to our friend Chris Hayes. They were talking about how when they were kids, they were both voracious readers and there was not enough stuff to read. so you would read the cereal box. Yeah, yeah. And I've stopped being a voracious reader, but back in the day, I could identify with that. Like, reading the cereal being like, Battle Creek, Michigan.

And rereading the same thing over and over and over again, too.

Thanks to Bonnie DePadua in Garden Grove, California. There you go, another one. All right.

That's two. So we're going for a 50-50 split here, so just to let everybody know. Thanks, Bonnie.

We've also, this will become clear as we continue on. And we've got some really solid Z names. Oh, yeah. You're right. That's what stands out. You're right. It is a solid selection of last names starting with Z, including Jeremiah Zimmerman of Nashville, Tennessee. That's right. He goes by Jeremiah Dillon now, I believe. Yeah, he sure does. He sure does. Thanks, Jeremiah. Appreciate you. Also, thanks to Jeannie McMacken of Port Townsend, Washington. It's our friend Jeannie.

Thank you, Jeannie. and thank you for having a residence in a town with two words. Long

time supporter of the show I don't it might have been Jeannie, somebody very nicely slipped a little card or a letter or a present of some kind under the door of the old TBTL studios in the Townsend Post Office I want to say maybe it was Jeannie but Jeannie thanks for all the support over the years, really appreciate you Also, thanks to Martha Zumach of Oxford, United Kingdom.

That's right. Another Z. And if you spelled Oxford as two different words, you could sort of cheat that. But we're not doing that. That's not the kind of podcast we are.

Martha, I just finally actually pushed through my special application to enter England here in a few weeks. because they got this new thing going, which, by the way, it's just a chance for them to get 12 euros off of everyone who comes into the U.K.

Temporary visa, is that what they're calling it?

I guess, yeah, something like that. Yeah, there's a, let me see if I can even find the exact name. Anyway, I just sent in my application, and I, you know, it's the U.K. ETA is what it's called. Okay. And they're supposed to tell me in a few days if I've been approved. If I haven't been approved, Martha, could you swing over to Heathrow and spring me free here in a few weeks?

You'll find out once your boot's on the ground over there?

No, I better find out before then because I think, again, I don't know if this is such a legal thing. I mean, like, if you have a passport, if you have a working passport, then you've already cleared all of the hurdles that this thing, I mean, this thing wants to make sure you're not a felon or something. But, like, it strikes me mostly as a way to get 12 more pounds out of people that are traveling through Heathrow on a daily basis. But, anyway, if it doesn't work out, Martha, I'm going to need you to help orchestrate some sort of Ocean's 11. What's the conversion rate over there? An Ocean's 12 and a half. Ocean's Zed.

You know, not to get us too far off track, but at some point we might want to talk about this.

Finally, 2025, like, literally, I don't know, how many years was it after 9-11 when they passed that Real ID Act? They've been threatening that it's going to be difficult to fly unless you have, like, an enhanced driver's license. I do not have an enhanced anything. Do you have an enhanced driver's license? I do.

And I was surprised. I didn't realize, because when I moved to Portland, I got an Oregon driver's license. and uh it is technically it's got this little hologram and i didn't remember consciously signing up for that but i did apparently so i'm i'm i'm okay on that one um but yeah you got to get that now you got to get that oh you know what also i did the other day and you know who loves this kind of content is lisa zagone from concord california oxford con concord we almost nash

Ville

We could have almost stretched all of these towns out To be two names Thanks Lisa I think anyway that I just renewed my You know my TSA pre-check kind of thing I got an email from them The other day saying Your pre-check is going to expire here in a month And so you just go into this website And fill it out And when I tell you that no matter how many times I quadruple checked it I still thought I was being Cyber fool Because you know what I mean like it's so many of the emails i get or texts or things are completely fraudulent now they're like a weird activity on your account and i'm like and i've fallen for it once in as much as i called the place now i'm just like i wouldn't believe anything anyone ever told me via this and this really was from the tsa and i really like it was like you know tsa.gov whatever i looked through it very carefully i do if i'm my if i'm on high alert then i do usually have a pretty good sense of what even, like, the artwork looks like and things. If you look at it closely, you can usually tell when it's bullshit. But I just couldn't bring myself to believe that this was really the TSA just letting me email them to please continue my TSA stuff.

Uh-huh. Yeah, no, I'm with you, but I think it's good to stay vigilant.

Yes. No, I know, because also I'm putting in, like, extremely personal, you know, and information that I wouldn't want somebody being able to steal. So anyway, thank you to our donors today for making TBTL possible. We couldn't do this without you.

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, emails or V-mails before we skeedaddle.

Indeed. I want to say, I don't know if I said this out loud or if it was just a thought I had. I'm going to check with Genevieve after the show to see if I can use this caricature of her as today's show pick. If people are wondering what it looks like after we described it. I think Genevieve likes it, so I'm pretty sure it'll be okay.

Again, I think I smashed the like button. I thought it was a really very cute, if I can say that, caricature.

So go to tbtl.net to see that. And if it's not there, it means Genevieve and I got into a huge fight. And there it is. Trouble in paradise.

But then you can come live here in Podcast House, and we can have all kinds of new content.

Oh, that's right. That's going to turn quickly, though. It's going to become very quickly like the Run DMC Aerosmith video where I'm like blasting music on one side of a wall and you're like.

I'm trying to get some sleep.

You're trying to get some sleep. With my nightgown on. Exactly. So I don't know why we were talking about Popeye, but we were talking about Popeye.

Because he came, a version of Popeye came into the sort of non-reserved, what's the word I'm looking for? Like it's in the public domain. Right, exactly. Yep. But what was funny was it's not the iteration where he starts eating spinach yet. Right.

That's how we end up getting a steamboat Popeye. Exactly.

Popeye minus the main thing that we know Popeye for is what we can use on this show.

And you can't identify him as a sailor. He's merely a lieutenant. Okay. Here, this is from listener Danielle.

Hey, Luke and Andrew. I'm calling from my car while it warms up in the morning not being able to tell the story because I'm either at work or my kids are around so you've been talking about Popeye and some of the jokes got a little crude not really but crass maybe

were we putting Popeye in any adult situations sounds like something you'd do privates or something no word you would give it but i just had to tell you my truly crude

story about popeye so i was very close to my great-grandparents i went there every day after school um that was my entire childhood so going and snooping around their house was part of part of that one day when i was about 10 i

I found in their closet an old poster that was rolled up. And I remember looking at it and thinking, that doesn't look right. And it just stuck with me. And I realized that it was because their pants were not on and they were holding each other. So it was Popeye and it was olive oil. And I didn't really know a lot about porn at the time. But my first introduction was by my great-grandparents' antique poster of Popeye and olive oil. So I've never told anybody about that poster. It tried to get suppressed, and then you guys brought it forward. So there you go. Welcome to my childhood drama.

Talk about taxi cab confessions. We now have people calling into TBTL to tell us things and to tell the tens things that they've never told anybody before.

Well, as I established recently, if you want to hide something away from the wider world, this is the place to do it. This is where no one in TBTL, no one can hear you scream. You want to know something insane, Andrew? I until Danielle brought that up, I think I had completely suppressed this memory. but i have a vague i can't tell you the specifics of it but i have a vague in the back of my mind sense that i also saw some sort of like like animated popeye erotica as a kid like some kind of a cartoon where it's popeye but he's in a let's just say adult situation is this might have been a thing like maybe because because he's eating spinach and he's getting strong so it was a natural thought towards you know that stuff i don't know i i think i've seen some weird popeye popeye erotica myself which is i had totally forgotten about until daniel i don't it wasn't the poster she's describing but it was like something else and i just remember thinking like well this is weird because i know this popeye thing from tv i don't know anything about this Popeye guy being like a sexual creature that's never even occurred to me. And now here it is.

I am literally Googling vintage Popeye erotica, and I am seeing some things you have never seen before. Let's just say we're not using this as the show pick, although I'm not seeing anything that sort of depicts what Danielle was talking about there. So I was hoping to maybe find something that specifically addressed that.

Danielle, congratulations on unrepressing in me the thing that we unrepressed in you.

Yeah, exactly. All kinds of memories are shaking loose here. So anyway, I'm just going to go ahead and close this tab. You can feel me getting more and more distracted as I continue to look at Popeye erotica.

I'm amazed that you're getting a new computer anyway.

No, this is my newish one, and I didn't even do that on, what do you call it? I didn't do that on Secret Boy mode or whatever they call it. Incognito. I think it's called Secret Boy Mode.

All right. Thanks for listening, everyone. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you. So please, if you can, join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Hope you're doing all right, considering everything called America. And know that we're here for you and here with you, and we're going through it as well. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. And please remember, no mountain too tall. And good luck to all.

and it's romantic and it's a full of these sort of situations which is it turns out to be that's very interesting very scary at times but also a lot of romance and really well made so I recommend soundtrack good soundtrack power out