Muse

Okay, I think we may be missing the point here. The point is that Mark made a decision, and that decision was controversial. Ethically, socially, morally, scientifically. But Mark, I stand behind you without reservation. So well said. Thank you. Absolutely. TBTL!

The whole thing I can't promise you is that the sun will come up tomorrow and we'll be attacking it with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind.

Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango. What happened?

He was telling me how he's the Jesse James of rock and roll.

And then, right in the middle of a sentence, bonk, a coconut fell on his head.

Is what we experience real or is reality a computer simulation constructed by an advanced alien race? For more, our sports reporter, Jim Caputo.

Okay, are we done with the business part? I wanted to start the clown portion of the meeting.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. The answer, sadly, is not yes. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. You want to do a make-believe radio show in a room somewhere. I'm telling you, there's no money in that. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where it is a... Didn't know you like to get wet, though. It is a wet February the 19th, but as always, it's warm and dry inside the studio, and we are ready to bring you episode 4406 in a collector's series. Let the fun begin. I got very, very excited last night. I was reaching out to various people in my life when I saw some news in The Hollywood Reporter involving a new, a proposed film project. So who needs a movie? Involving Art Bell from Coast to Coast.

I heard about that thing on the AM radio.

Well, not actually Art Bell. He has left this mortal coil and he's probably remote viewing from somewhere far away right now. but a movie project about Art Bell and Coast to Coast, which I'm pretty excited about. I was pretty put off by an attempted piece of humor from Seattle Mayor Bruce Harrell that I believe came down yesterday. Jokes are really difficult, I must say. We'll play you the tape and we'll pose the question, WTF, Bruce Harrell, WTF. And we're also going to say hi to this guy, longest running co-bro of the show, may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. I would like to stress that he asked me to introduce him with this audio tape today.

I hate you because you look different.

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

I forgot about that. I sent that to you yesterday. You saw that commercial, right? We didn't. No, this is Tom Brady. Wait, you don't know about this commercial from the Super Bowl? It was one of the most hated ones.

Can I guess at it? Yes, you can. is it a some sort of an anti-bullying campaign well it's an anti-hate campaign anti anti-hate

i hate you because you look different it's not from the it's um i can't remember who put it out but like an anti-defamation organization um but uh it's snoop i can yeah this was one of the most talked about ones but not in a good way it was snoop dog and tom brady just like saying things like that back and forth to each other, trying to expose Luke, the shallowness of hate. It is so, it would be cringy no matter what, but also Tom Brady couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. It is so cringy. I hate you because you make bad commercials, Tom Brady.

I hate you because you look different.

It is rough.

Oh, my God. Snoop Dogg and Tom Brady stand up to hate in new Super Bowl ad. Quote, I hate you because I think you hate me.

Who put on the ad? I'm blanking on the, it's like anti-Semitism, and I'm trying to remember the name of the group. It's a very famous, you know, it's a good organization.

It's the Anti-Defamation League?

Maybe it's the Anti-Defamation League. It's a good organization.

It's the Foundation to Combat Anti-Semitism. There it is, yeah. So it's a good organization, but just a terrible, I assume it's a good organization.

I hate you because you look different.

line with my values. I don't know anything about this organization and I'm honestly not even going to

try to speculate. To pull it apart. But it is cringe. It was alright. It's kind of up there with the Jesus he gets us kinds of things. Honestly kind of made the Jesus he gets us commercials more palatable. Hey, I wanted to mention to you, it's a bit of an end of an era. I don't know why I said it like you're at all interested in this. I wanted to say this for myself, not for you because you have no interest in this whatsoever. Hey Andrew, no

offense, but Thank you.

I hate you because you look different.

And because you said this is the end of an era that I'm not even tracking.

You're not even part of this era. I use the, and I try, you know that expression I use, you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube? Yeah. I've been squeezing every little bit of toothpaste out of this tube of toothpaste that I've been using for maybe four months now. Oh, this is a literal tube of toothpaste. This is a literal tube of toothpaste that I got when I was in Croatia. It's called Caledont. And I Caledont don't have anymore. because today I used the very last bit of it. And I know I'm a nostalgia monster, but it's like there's something. I don't know. I was like, okay, this is it. There's no more toothpaste. I've squeezed every bit of this out. I guess I just throw away my Caledon. I like little things in my life that remind me of times and places sort of. Every day I'd brush my teeth and I'd pull out my little Caledon and I would just have this, you know, I wouldn't sit there and meditate for 30 minutes on my adventures in Croatia, but it was just a tiny little reminder of my time in Croatia, and now I just got to go back to Colgate, I guess.

Is it actually kind of decent tasting as a toothpaste goes, or is it just because it reminds you of that fun time?

Yeah, it tastes like soot in water. Hot water? Let's see here. No, it just tasted like really, oh, I could maybe buy this online.

You might be able to buy it on Amazon, although it's a different spelling. I'm looking at the Caledont that you can buy on a website called saponia.hr. and you go there and I took a swing on allowing cookies because it's definitely in a language I don't speak and I clicked on the one that it looked like I was saying except cookies yeah there's something called Calident you can buy on amazon.com um minus Calidon I'm seeing Calidon

with two L's online and that seems strange to me my Calidon yeah I sent you a photo of it you'll see it just it looks very much like American marketing it's blue and it's mostly a white packaging with blue and red and it was just like the toothpaste itself was just white and minty i don't know the difference can you tell the difference between different kinds of mints like if there is a taste test and somebody gave you spearmint or the other kind of i could because

i buy a lot of gum oh yeah and i like for instance i'm not a big peppermint guy not a fan of peppermint

that's the reddish one right that's the reddish one yeah that's that's big red that's kiss a little

longer hold tight a little longer make it last a little longer with big red ask me the birthday of to anyone in my family, Andrew. Couldn't tell you. Couldn't even hazard a guess. Soon, maybe? There's a lot of us. But spearmint is, I feel like spearmint is a kind of, it's a little sweeter. It's not as cinnamony as peppermint is. And it's associated with green, right? It's kind of a greener coloring and even flavoring, if that's a thing. In gum, that's what I go for, I think, yeah. I tend to go, I'll go, I can, you know, I'll mess with spearmint, but then there's like a, I feel like there's a new one that's not, it's, it's whiter and it's like a, it's the new mint on the block and it's like not fresh mint, but like when I buy trident, there's, there's the reddish one, which would be the peppermint. There's the greenish one, the spearmint. Then there's the white one. Maybe it's like cool ice or some, some ridiculous thing, but I tend to go towards the the whiter brighter uh flavor of mint if when we're just we're talking about the gum space although i'll tell you what man when i was in england and i was having uh i was ordering a lot from this beirut garden which is the name of this little cafe that was kind of near my hotel they it was i think it's lebanese food and they put a mint in the salad that was spectacular i'm gonna start doing that like it was such a perfect it's not a flavor note in salad that i'm used to

too, but man, was it good. I feel like every now and then, maybe in a Vietnamese salad or something, I get it a little bit. I can see that. I think, wait a second, though, I want to clean something up a little bit, or dirty it up. Like, I don't know what I'm doing here, to be honest with you, but I think we might be slightly mistaken on something, or I am, and I'm not listening closely enough to you. Close-up is more... I Caledon't think you listen very closely to what I'm saying. The show title definitely is going to have Caledon in the title, I think. Caledos and Caledon'ts. But I think that close-up is more cinnamon, right? That's the red. Close up? Weren't we talking, or you were, close up is the toothpaste. Or the toothpaste? Yeah, and then what is the kiss a little bit longer? That's big red. Big red. And aren't those both cinnamon-y? Big red is cinnamon, right? Big red.

Well, what were we saying?

You were saying peppermint, I think.

Peppermint and cinnamon aren't, I was trying to say what I think that the, for me, there There's a note in peppermint that hits my mouth as a bit cinnamon-y. But you're saying that Big Red is specifically, it's advertised as a cinnamon gum. It's not advertised as a peppermint.

Yeah, like I always think, because I group things together. I think of Close Up and Big Red as like the gum slash toothpaste equivalents of each other. They're the red cinnamony ones. And I looked it up. So those are cinnamon. And then you have Spearmint and Peppermint. And I think Peppermint is usually indicated in marketing via a color blue. And Spearmint is usually the greener ones.

What's the white one then?

And then what is the white one? Maybe that's also Peppermint. Maybe that's just a...

I don't think it's called... I wouldn't buy it if it was just called Trident White. Trident White. Yeah. And they're calling... They're calling it... Let's see. No, they're calling it, sorry, Andrew, you know what? Some of it is being called white peppermint. White peppermint, okay. Wow. I may have been consuming white peppermint and not even realizing it. It's fairly small on the packaging, but this looks a lot like the stuff that I tend to buy. So there you go. I guess I've been chewing. I also don't mind minty bubble, which is pink, and it's basically bubble gum. I don't mind that one. Oh, I've never heard of that.

That sort of sounds fun, like kind of an adult who wants to play around with the kid inside them a little bit. Boy, that came out wrong.

Yeah, every word made it more upsetting. It's like adult play around. Okay, how much worse did it get? Oh, kid.

Inside them.

Inside them. What?

Do you remember there's a scene in Arrested Development where obviously Tobias is always saying things very much like I just said, like needlessly complicated and dirty sounding. And Michael at one point just says, I want you to take a recorder and just carry it around with you all day and just listen to yourself. Veeves will sometimes just say that to me around. She's like, I just want you to carry a recorder and just listen back to the things that you say like a banger in the mouth.

There you go. I just blew myself. By the way, last gum rec here for me, last gum recommendation. This is truly the thing that I probably chew the most of right now, and it's Ice Breakers, Ice Cubes, Arctic Grape. Arctic Grape? You're going in for that? I am. It's sugar-free. And it comes in one of those little, like, kind of containers that you can put in the cup holder in your car. Yeah, I want to talk about that. and i have now taken to buying these in bulk you know from uh unfortunately amazon.com and i'll get you know um i don't know if it's like maybe five or six of these containers at a time because there was a run on them for a while you couldn't find them in the stores maybe that was back in the weird supply chain days but um uh they're very it's very juicy it's very tasty it's

very grape flavored it's a little treat so the packaging of gum has bummed me out because i feel Like, more and more of the gum that I want to buy is only coming in those plastic containers, which is great if you're driving and you want to put it in your, you know, cup holder. But if you're just walking around town and you want some gum in your pocket, I don't want that big round thing in my pocket all the time. Yeah, definitely not very portable. You're right. And for me, the texture of the gum is that I'm finding it harder and harder to find the gum that I want. I want a blister pack of gum that when you pop it out, it's got, like, the gum itself.

Let me go out like a blister pack of gum.

What is that?

That's the Violent Femmes, Let Me Go Out Like I Blister in the Sun.

I've been listening to the first Violent Femmes record a lot lately, the very first one. It's good. A listener had sent me some live video of them performing in 1984, which then sort of sent me down a rabbit hole. In the last couple of weeks, I've revisited that first record. It's great. The live performance is weird. All of that is to say, I want the blister pack of gum that when you pop it out, it'll have two little trays in there. You pop it out. When you pop it out, the gum itself should be a little bit square, like kind of a chiclet. Yeah. Classic chiclet style with the slight candy coated outside or the hard coated outside that breaks up immediately when you bite into it. I feel like every now and then if somebody else offers me one of those like pure cube pieces of gum that are soft all the way around, sometimes those come in the –

And kind of have like a dust on them.

Yes, I think maybe. I'm thinking of the kind that are really soft but a perfect cube. Yeah, that's what these icebreakers are like.

But they've got a little chalk on the outside. I think so they don't stick to each other, maybe in the container.

Oh, that makes sense. And I'll have one of those every now and then, but that's not what I want. What I want is just put it in my pocket and have that more chiclet style. And I think it's getting harder and harder to find.

Well, the thing, the other problem, I mean, you raise a good point, which is that the car kind of cup holder ones are not, you can't, unless maybe if you had a purse, you could throw them in there, but there's really not that portable for a lot of folks. But what I have taken to doing sometimes, if I'm pulling up to somewhere, It's like an event and I want to make sure I've got a little gum But all I have is that container Weird container thing is I'll take a few out And I'll put them in like the breast pocket of my suit jacket Or something but that's a dangerous game It's a really dangerous game You better not forget those are in there dude

Especially because it doesn't have the hard shell You know what I mean Doesn't have the hard shell

I wouldn't even trust a chick that's more than that.

It's totally, it's just, it's just, it's a free jack. It's loose in the system. Yeah. And you definitely, you better not send that. Well, I guess if you send to the dry cleaners, they do go through your pockets, presumably. By the way, I've got a situation with the dry cleaners in my local town, which is, I swear to gosh, I took in a couple of my tuxedo shirts. like i have two like i have i probably have like four tuxedo shirts and three of them are from j crew and i really like them i actually wear them often just with a regular suit because they're kind of i like the way that they they they don't have the like the ruffles like it doesn't look like i'm wearing a tuxedo right now they just look well although that's how they're actually like a game show host from the 1970s but what makes them a tuxedo shirt technically is that they don't have buttons you have to use studs and uh and there is like a you know some sort of a thing happening on the kind of chest area but instead of ruffles it's just a different piece of material it's pretty subtle if you wear a suit with it it just looks like you're wearing a nicely pressed shirt okay i know that i took two of those down to my local dry cleaner but of course i didn't keep the receipt because they always just look it up by my phone number anyway and i went down the other day i was in town i thought oh i got grabbed those shirts we got live wire on thursday by the way alberta rose theater we'll see you there and i go in and i give the woman my number and she just comes back with a tuxedo and tuxedo pants which i forgot i had taken in there and no shirts and i thought oh well they have two locations and so maybe the other location is the one that has the most the world's saddest dying oh yeah bell doorbell open so i was like oh They just must be over there. And then I went over there and was talking to the woman working there, who I believe might be the daughter of the folks that own the whole operation. And she could not locate the shirts. So I don't know what's going on. Either I took them to get a third dry cleaner, which is literally possible, or I've lost them or they've lost them. I don't know what's going on with that.

And I'm sorry, did you ask, did you say, were there some shirts with this?

I asked at the second place Because at the first place She brought out the tuxedo and the pants And then I thought oh I must have just taken the shirts to the other Because I go Depends on what part of town I'm in Which one's more convenient Who's open But they're owned by the same family There's like two locations It's all the same thing So I didn't even think to ask I went over to the other one I was like that's where it is It's like six blocks away I went over and they don't have them

Were they wearing tuxedo shirts Well that was the suspicious

That was the very very And they were ill fitting Ill-fitting. If you see me wearing a barrel on Thursday night at Livewire at the Alberto Rose Theater, you'll know what's going on. Andrew, can we just take a quick moment here to discuss Bruce Harrell, the mayor of Seattle? I know a person whose politics, or at least some political decisions he's made, you are not.

I am not a fan of Mayor Bruce Harrell, I feel like. Yes, I'm not a fan of him politically and I guess personally, although I don't really know him personally. But, yeah, not a fan.

I don't know very much about him because I don't live in Seattle and because what I know is that he was a Husky. He went to the UW. He was a football player, I think, at one point, which, you know, sadly goes a long way with me. Like, if I know nothing about if there's eight candidates and I know nothing about any of them, I know one of them played football for the UW. I will admit, I'm already like, well, okay, I'm listening. But that says nothing about his politics. I don't know anything about his politics.

Which is why you voted for Brock Heward, I believe, right?

Yes, sponsored by Muscle Milk.

Yes, right.

So Bruce Harrell was giving a State of the City address the other day, and he paused. Now, just a little context. There has been, because of the All-Star Weekend, the NBA All-Star Weekend, there has been, at least in the Seattle area, a lot of discussion about, will Seattle ever get an NBA team back? You know, we lost the Seattle Supersonics, pretty big bummer for those of us that like NBA basketball. And it seems like it's getting closer. I think it was Kevin Durant was being asked which city needs an NBA team, which is kind of a setup, because Kevin Durant was a Sonic. Nobody talks about this, except, you know, the North remembers, Andrew, because I saw I saw this stat the other day on some website. It was about Kevin Durant's, like, I don't know, career stats or something or some progression of his career, and it was all listed as Oklahoma City Thunder, or at least the parts, you know, the initial parts of it were Oklahoma City Thunder. First comment, he did that as a Sonic. And I was like, thank you. That's why I went to the comments to make sure somebody is reminding everyone that Kevin Durant did not start his NBA career in Oklahoma City. He started in Seattle, Washington as a Seattle Supersonic.

Can I ask you a question? Yes. Is he this, I'm worried.

about how dumb this is going to sound but is he still playing yes so is he like the last of the players who would be of age to play on the sonics and still be in the league because it's been 15

well i believe we also had russell westbrook okay russell westbrook i don't know if russell westbrook ever played for the sonics but i believe we drafted him and and and there was a russell west there's a photo a famous photo of kevin durant and i believe russell westbrook in sonics

jerseys but they're getting it so i'm looking kevin durant is 36 years old but i guess my point being that it is we are in the like kind of the the twilight era of players who are still in the

league who are old enough to have played for seattle yes uh we're we have we have kevin durant again we have maybe i forget the details on westbrook i was also and i feel bad about this I was a little checked out of the Sonics by this time because they were getting major leagued. They were getting the new owners from Oklahoma City were intentionally trying to tank the team and make it so that the team was bad and so that people wouldn't go to the game so they could justify moving the team. And it sort of worked. I also lived, I think, in New York at the time, but it worked on me that I was a little distant. But you're right. Yeah, the institutional memory is going away as far as players who might have been drafted or played for the Sonics. It's probably Durant and, like I said, maybe Westbrook. Are they the last two?

Yeah. For me, I moved to Seattle. And I'm not somebody who followed sports at all before getting to Seattle. And I still don't know anything about basketball. But I arrived in Seattle after the team had left. And so for me, it just always seemed like history. But I didn't realize that I got here within a year of them leaving or something. And the first group of friends I met didn't have any interest in sports. So it wasn't until I kind of was hanging out with you and other people in our crew that care about sports that I would hear more about, like, kind of people being sad that the Sonics were gone. I'm like, oh, that's you must have been kids. I didn't realize it was like, oh, just a couple of years ago. I came I came into the city when the city was still weeping and also showed up at a very suspicious time.

Andrew shows up. The Sonics leave.

Yeah, no, I was waiting for them to leave. I think I showed up right after they left town. I was like, there's this town's not big enough for the both of us.

But anyway, by the way, the Sonics did draft Russell Westbrook, although six days later they became the Oklahoma City Thunders. So he was technically, which I just want to, I'm sorry to make this an NBA conversation because as I continue to make sounds with my mouth, it'll become more and more clear to the listeners, I don't know what the hell is going on in the NBA anymore. But there was a period of time where the Seattle Supersonics had Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, two generational players on their team. If that's not enough to build around, I don't know what is. It's a really, really good young core of a team that could still be in Seattle. Well, if you ever meet the guy who sold the team away, maybe you can give him a piece of your mind. Definitely. So everyone in Seattle who is still grieving the Sonics or just excited about the possibility of getting an NBA team has been feeling this energetic shift where it's—oh, by the way, sorry. Kevin Durant was asked during the All-Star break or game which city should get a team, and he said Seattle, no doubt, which I appreciate that from Kevin Durant when he's not creating burner accounts to yell at people who are criticizing his stats.

Is he also the guy who's in Uncut Gems? Who's the famous basketball player in Uncut Gems?

Kevin Garnett.

Garnett.

So they're both Kevins.

Okay. Both Kevins.

You got that for you. So Bruce Harrell is doing this mayor of Seattle, former University of Washington football player, state of the city address. He's talking about the city of Seattle, and he just dead stops in the middle of his speech and reaches down under the podium to produce a basketball, which, as you will hear from this tape I'm going to play, has the crowd gasping.

Right now, at this moment, I have an announcement I make. I'm just kidding.

What in the actual crap is that, Bruce Harrell? I'm sure that on the list of things he's done That are bad for Seattle Which you could give me Andrew if you cared to This is very low as far as impact on people's lives But as far as impact on my life Very high How dare you What a deep misunderstanding Of how jokes work Yes right Yes like I have to say I don't know anything about his politics But I would absolutely impeach him over this Like this confirms everything you've ever said to me About be Being disappointed in him on a political sort of from a political standpoint is completely validated for me, Andrew, based on this misunderstanding of human dynamics, just human dynamics.

Exactly. Like, how did you think that was going to go? Like, listen to that crowd. Like, listen, I will be the first to admit that I pull shit like this sometimes and I'm insufferable to be around. Like you don't pull this kind of not quite this.

Not so that you make someone happy and take it away from them. You don't do that.

I have a couple of brain cells, but like I will like sometimes like for reasons I don't understand, like, I mean, I don't think I do this all that often. But like if Genevieve asked me what time it is and give her the wrong time, then the right time. Like, I don't know. Like, that seems like such a bad example. I don't know. I'm known to say the wrong thing sometime for a split second just to get somebody, but not. I don't know. You know me really well.

You have, at times, a very dry sense of humor, and sometimes that will, which I love, by the way, but, and so you'll say something very dryly, like you'll set it up by going, oh, I just had one other question, and then the thing you'll say will be, like, clearly a joke. But what you have, what your two brain cells are helping you not do is something like this, where the setup is, oh, this is a thing everyone is really excited about, and now the the resolution of the joke is that's actually not happening like it is like it is so profoundly dumb if you have any sense of how to how to relate to groups of people it's wild to me what did he expect yeah what did also i don't think it's even an nba ball either bruce harrell has the largest hands of all time or this is like a this is like a fifth grader basketball which i don't know why that bothers me but i just it's like at least get a real basketball i i didn't

see the tape i read about this yesterday and it spins it in his hand oh my god as he's like

waiting for the his perfect the moment to deploy the hilarious joke of why we're not getting a

basketball team or at least this isn't the announcement you're the mayor like of any anybody should know not to make that joke because it's cruel but like also like you're the mayor you should understand the people of the city and how this lands now you before the show told me that you knew that bringing up you know bruce harrell would potentially lead this conversation into spinning into other areas um of politics and whatnot and you were somewhat right but you were also somewhat wrong what i want to talk about now in relation to this story is related to the email that i just sent you because i need you to tell me if we really think jimmy butler pooped his pants Oh, this is the first I'm hearing about this. This is about, I don't know, maybe a week old, I don't know, late last week or something. I'm trying to get read in here. So you read in. I'm going to try to set this up the best I can, and you can maybe correct me where I'm wrong. Jimmy Butler, we don't have to get into all of this, but until recently he was playing for the Miami Heat, but then kind of had this sort of labor dispute with the Heat and kind of basically forced himself to be traded. And I can't remember where he's playing right now. But on his new team, he was on the road playing in like his basketball whites, you know, like the road team had to have white uniforms on. And you can picture the big baggy shorts of a basketball player on the court. And people are showing like I'm, you know, like people are grabbing like, you know, clips from the actual broadcast of his white shorts that have a bunch of like it. But it's not brown. It's like this yellow stain all in the backside.

The color is what supports my theory. Also, I'm just watching the play that precedes this footage of him. You want to talk about the number one old guy thing to say. I don't understand what is a legal amount of traveling in the NBA anymore. appears to be you it appears that you are allowed to just carry the ball around the court to wherever you feel like it okay fine but I'm watching the play down Barack like but then I'm now I think the color of the whatever the the situation is in the back of Jimmy Butler's shorts I think that color which is kind of if I can say I don't mean to be gross it's kind of yellowish yeah I mean I brought it up if anything it actually I think strengthens the argument that he had a bit of an accident there because were it to be a richer darker brown that would that would be stranger because that would mean that you had you had possibly uh released what we consider to be a traditional bowel movement which isn't the kind of thing you do in an nba game you though you might think you were just gonna like let out a little bit of gas and it could be something that was more liquid and more like that color and that would be i i can't think of an alternate explanation, alternative explanation, other than he did have a, uh, uh, again, I think a chart related. bathroom incident i didn't seem to stop him though from getting the and one on that play

your simplicity there i really appreciate because i've been going around and around on this i think i heard about this i don't know a couple of days ago and so i looked at this article that i sent you that had a couple of like still images and like you know again somebody filming their tv with their back into the camera yeah exactly and i was like well it's not as you said it's not like a normal bowel movement clearly and so i was like that's not it i don't people are saying he pooped pants i wasn't on board with that i was like maybe there was some just messiness there that ended up kind of um you know combining with sweat and like but i was like that doesn't seem and i couldn't but you're right it's as simple as a shart it's as simple as a shart that's what it is he he did he trusted a he trusted a fart that he shouldn't have trusted now here's my second question for you as somebody who understands basketball more than me and sharting would this affect your game no do you back people down in the paint use it you think that he's like well it is what it is and this is an important game i'm going to keep playing i mean he doesn't seem like the personality of somebody who wouldn't put himself before the team as we just saw in miami well sure so like if you know but if he realized this was going on would there be a moment for him to say hey coach i gotta go to the locker room i'll be back in like you know like whatever A pull of Lamar Jackson?

Yeah, right, exactly. Well, that's the whole problem. How do I know it's a Lamar Jackson? Because Lamar Jackson went to the bathroom.

And didn't he get carted off?

I think he was jogging. He might have been carted, but there's also a point in the tunnel where I think he's jogging.

Yes, yes, yes.

And kind of in that way of trying to keep everything locked down.

Yeah, they have a tunnel shot on him, which is one of the cruelest things in the world. But anyway, but he held it in. And so my thing is, like, in the game of basketball, I feel like there's always conversation about sitting starters and starters not even playing in some games. So, like, if he knew this was going on in his trunks, do you think he could have said to his coach, hey, I need to go take care of something. I'll be back in however – I know it's not plays, but however you mark time. Absolutely.

If he would have stayed ahead of it, then, like, if he would have said, my stomach's not feeling great, I don't – I should go use the bathroom. of course that there's an opportunity for that whether it's during the game during a timeout halftime you can leave the court and come back there's there's two problems with that for jimmy butler which is he is such a notable player on whichever team he's on at the moment that when he leaves it's immediately noted it's is jimmy butler injured like you've got a sideline reporter that's trying to ask one of the assistant coaches why did jimmy butler leave and they'll say undisclosed reasons and then they'll say i don't uh we're trying to get more information on why Jimmy Butler went into so he's drawing it attention will be drawn to him leaving the bench which is fine but then I mean maybe he could just come back and the official report could be stomach trouble or something or it could just be uh who knows how they would how they would explain it the problem now becomes once the shart has happened yeah this is what I'm asking once he realizes it can't he leave no no well yes he can but then he's admitting what happened okay that's He leaves I've seen the footage now Andrew and it's It's a fairly It's fairly inclusive conclusive. Thank you. Yes And like imagine he he's you get that that video of those shorts He sits down he leaves he comes back he has on a pair of shorts that don't have those markings Yeah, that's as that's as good as an admission of guilt So it's like also it's possible. He didn't even realize it had happened although if you've ever been through that I feel like it would be well. I've never played in an NBA game Maybe you're so laser focused on what's going on out there and that lady that like sweaty and Focused and you're wearing I mean the other thing is he's got on like compression tights and then the shorts boy This had some force Forza because it made it through a couple of different layers You'd hope that the compression tights Yeah, like so but no I mean just based on my quick my quick study of the video I although here's the thing it is in its own way kind of humanizing because I think as they're writing on the whatever the link was you sent to me Everyone's been through that just most of us haven't had been through that in such a public way It doesn't I mean honestly of the various things about Jimmy Butler Where it seems like he was being a kind of a not particularly great teammate Again, I just don't – I don't know enough about the NBA now to speculate on Jimmy Butler and if he was the problem or if his team was the problem. But I will say this is actually a humanizing thing to see him with some mustard-colored problems in the back of his shorts.

You know who I feel bad for is Paul Pierce. And I feel bad for this man. I know nothing about him. I know nothing about him. I don't know if he's a good guy, a bad guy, somewhere in between, as most of us are. All I know is he's a former basketball player And all of the headlines are Did Jimmy Butler just pull a Paul Pierce And I haven't even

looked at the history of I will tell you this the Paul Pierce is far far less conclusive oh yeah

do you remember this from the time or you're investing I was just watching it in the same

link you sent me I don't think I was aware of the Paul Pierce situation the Paul Pierce thing is a small quarter size kind of wet spot that is on his rear but looks to me like it could have also just been sweat could have been a bunch of things it has none of the characteristics the other thing about jimmy butler's situation is as pointed out in the article is they were in those white uniforms had they been in their other because you know all the teams will have a light uniform and a dark uniform had jimmy butler been in the dark version of the uniform probably wouldn't even know

this we wouldn't even notice it this was the wheelchair game i've heard tell of this i'm now googling paul pierce you type in paul pierce and you type in one more p and it's just like paul here's poop game and i'm like yeah and i guess there was a um a game was it in the finals um where he left in a wheelchair and people thought that he had had an accident and then it was game one of the 2008 nba finals he left in a wheelchair and there were theories that he had um gone to the bathroom in his pants and needed to get out of there he insists that that is not the case that

he was actually injured in some way yeah this is again a very um this is a time where i was not following even even less closely than i follow the nba now which is not very closely i can't even tell you which team jimmy butler went to so this paul pierce thing is all news to me i would be surprised if they wheelchaired him out because of a because of a bathroom incident i mean the

other thing now i'm seeing a headline that says paul pierce admits to blanking his pants in the NBA finals against Lakers and faking a knee injury to go to the bathroom so maybe he later admitted it or I'm being fooled by the internet like this is from six years ago and I'm not watching the clip of tape in which I mean do we just want to give 30 seconds let's just give 30 seconds why not this is from straight talk I guess sorry it's so quiet for reasons he will keep to himself I have a confession to make I just had to go to a bathroom A number one or a number two? But why did you need a wheelchair to get to the bathroom? It was that bad. Something went down. I had to go to the bathroom. Oh, you were streaking. Okay. Anywho. Injuries. Injuries are the story of tonight. Real injuries, by the way. Okay, so it's hard for me to tell if he's joking or not there.

Yeah, it sounded like he was saying, it sounded like he was jokingly admitting to the fact that he had had an accident and didn't want it to be as easily noticed. Nothing like getting in a wheelchair to leave to low-key the situation. How about a towel?

Yes, exactly. How about a towel, maybe, Paul? Somebody wrote, when you're lining up a shot and your shorts start feeling hot. Diarrhea.

Paul Pierce. Paul Pierce then had kind of a going career as an analyst, and I think was a pretty decent analyst. He was certainly good at chopping it up with the other kind of ex-NBA folks that would do some of these TV analyst jobs, like the halftime shows and stuff. but then i believe he there was a bunch of a bunch of videos surfaced of him just like doing copious amounts of cocaine while playing while gambling and hanging out with a sorted crew of people and stuff and it became clear that and paul pierce made a lot of money in his career paul pierce was a very good basketball player it became pretty clear that paul pierce is doing with his millions of dollars exactly what i would do with my millions of dollars which is not working like in other words he didn't even seem that mad when the network and i can't remember which network it was whether it was tnt or one of the other ones he didn't even seem that mad when they said okay we're parting ways with you it would seem like paul pierce's theory was you know my life's pretty okay right now yeah i'm just being paul pierce and i know that he is fine generally

speaking with probably how his life ended up but i will just say to go back to my original point like i don't want to live in a world where if somebody famous has an accident in their pants they call it pants is the autocomplete he pulled an andrew walsh like that's rough like but again i don't have the success that paul pierce has to sort of like pad me from the pain to protect me

He was fired from ESPN, by the way, back in 2021, just for the sake of accuracy. Gotcha.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

All right, let's thank some dazzling donors. These donors are donating a dazzling amount of donors. a significant donation each month or a very significant one-time donation for the year that, um, that's the, the financial lifeblood of the show. Without, without these folks, uh, we would not.

here analyzing NBA players and their bathroom accidents. Of course, we've got to start today with Beth Wright of Seattle, Washington, the pronouncer for Beth's last name. I'm guessing Beth put this in is not wrong.

I hadn't noticed that. I love it.

I love this trend. We had one with Pam Sam Ham yesterday. This trend of people putting in the pronunciation guide for their names, which are fairly clear in what the pronunciation might be.

But then not helping us with the more difficult of your possible two names. Right, like Beth. I could have used a pronouncer on that.

Beth is in Seattle, Washington. Hey, Cobros. I'd like to thank Luke and Andrew for all of the delightful tangents they follow. I never know when a tangent will be nostalgic or thoughtful or hilarious. Nor do we, Beth. Nor do we. Case in point, near the end of 2024, the Cobros told a story about NFL Browns kicker Chris Gardocki giving the Steelers bench the middle finger after a late tackle. I don't hear much about Chris Gardocki these days. Again, Beth, I would say that's a nationwide trend. Yes. But I sure heard a lot about him during high school. We both graduated from Redan High School in Stone Mountain, Georgia. Oh, Stone Mountain. In 1988. What's the big, what's the, there's some kind of a.

Yeah, they have the laser show on the side of Stone Mountain.

The laser show down there. High school football means everything in the South, and Chris was our class hero. This, Andrew, kind of confirms what I often say about punters and kickers. More so punters, I think, than place kickers, honestly, because place kicking is so specialized. But find me an NFL punter, and I will—show me an NFL punter that isn't Michael Dixon from the Seahawks, because he's from Australia. Show me an NFL punter, and I will show you the person who was the captain of his high school football team.

You mean in playing a different position, probably?

Quarterback, typically. Or running back. You know Randy Moss, the receiver, was the punter for his high school team as well?

Oh, wait, that seems backwards, though. That seems backwards of what I thought you were originally saying, which is the people who end up punters in the NFL were so good all-around athletes that they're actually quarterbacks when they're young in high school.

And as they progress further, they end up realizing that their only way in is punter. So you're like your high school, you're Chris Gardocki, you're in Stone Mountain, Georgia at Redan High School, and you're the star of the team. You're Beth Wright, not wrong's hero. But as you move on in the NFL, or as your college progression and then you start to eye the NFL, you realize you're not an NFL-level quarterback. And you take all that athleticism and you really focus in on your punting. The Randy Moss thing is just an example of how freakishly athletic Randy Moss is, that he played defense, offense, and was the punter, I believe. But my point is that most punters in the NFL were also phenomenal, some other position at football, you know, in their high school, which it sounds like might have been the case with listener Beth. He was our class hero. Chris also played soccer, and our team won the state championship in the spring of 1988. He played soccer after signing with Clemson, which I'm sure wouldn't be allowed today. Oh, wow. To be clear, Chris was team jock, and I was team nerd. So our social circles didn't overlap much I doubt that Gardaki Talkie will be a recurring segment on the show But the trip down memory lane sure was fun

We'll see, we can maybe make it a regular segment

Like figure out what Gardaki is up to right now Like a Chris Gardaki check-in

Just checking in, yeah Sponsored by Beth Wright, not wrong

Yeah, absolutely

This is your weekly Gardaki check-in Sponsored by Beth Wright, not wrong

I wish Gardaki rhymed with – was she called a Gardaki-talkie? Yeah, we could go with that. Maybe we get a theme. It's time for Gardaki-talkie.

I'm trying to find – I mean – We could also get some sponsorship from Gardettos.

Well, that was a – I mean, that was a real – that seems like a natural fit right there. Yeah.

Because it's only a few letters off from Gardettos. And it takes some of the financial pressure off of Beth Wright.

Yeah, it is a lot. I don't know if she knows what the advertising rates are for this show, but they are prohibitively – They've been described as bullshit and also, what are you thinking?

They've been described as, who are you and how did you get this number?

Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dattle.

Look who it is. It's Arlen Horst. And Arlen specifies, it's Arlen, not Arlene. It's Arlen like Spectre. That's not in Arlen's, you know, explanation, but that's an easy way to remember it. If you're old like me and you remember Philadelphia senators like Arlen Specter.

Oh, okay. Oh, yes. I was like. That is just tickling the very edges of my memory. Yeah, Arlen Specter, yeah. At first I was thinking of Phil Specter. I'm like, oh, yeah, no. Very different.

Arlen Specter, I believe, was, I want to say that he was kind of considered a centrist, right?

I remember that during, it was like during the Bush administration, he was kind of in the spotlight a lot.

Yes, that would have been the reason. I think, well, he was on the Judiciary Committee. Okay. So maybe he was part, I don't know, I remember that he was definitely in the conversation. Just like right now, Arlen Horst is in the conversation. Arlen says, oh wow, a thousand words? I guess that's the limit that we put on these things I'm learning. Oh, I guess so, yeah. A thousand words, exclamation point, exclamation point, question mark, question mark. Well, that's cutting into your words, Arlen. Yeah, it's a character count. Let me start on one topic, then get interrupted by a delivery van, or a hummingbird, or maybe some breaking news. then have some scintillating garbage talk for a while then oh right sorry laughy emoji seriously guys i'm proud to be a dazzling donor and i want to let you know uh even though i'm a serial time bandit i listen to every episode without fail tvtl is an essential part of my routine when i'm caught up on current episodes i've been cruising the archives listening to the early days of the show it's so fun right now i'm up to late summer 2013 i have zero social media presence but Any 10s in North Seattle might find me hanging out at the Greenwood Fred Meyer. That's a pretty good place to hang out.

It is, although now I feel, am I being gaslit by Arlen Horst? That's my question. Answer it. Don't look at your Horst in the mouth. No, I'm pretty sure that I ran into Arlen at the grocery store one time. Was it the Fred Meyer? At the self-checkout, but I believe that was at the QFC on Holman Road, which is very close to that family center yes and which was going to be a piggly wiggly until that um until that merger uh fell apart and i'm glad it did um but i i feel like maybe i'm blowing up arlen's spot here maybe arlen doesn't actually want to be seen at the grocery store so he's like leading people to the fred meyer but really i don't know if he's doing that he really plays

pickleball at the northgate community center because that's another place that arlen says you might find him uh i believe that certainly yes do you think he volunteers at the ballard

food bank or is that also a smoke screen i believe it i believe it i believe it because i've looked

it up could you see him having a flight of beers at the broadview tap house yeah actually now that you say that yeah so okay i think this is on the up and up another fun thing i'm doing these days is playing in the second mandolin section of the seattle mandolin orchestra look us up on youtube try to stop me arlen uh let me see if i can find a little bit of uh the seattle mandolin First of all, let's definitely get an ad in there for an e-bike. Oh, by the way, actually, I've been looking up e-bikes now. Oh, no, that's really cool. So now I'm getting totally... This is a John Gooden number, 1993. It's called Heavens on Earth. This is the Seattle Mandolin Orchestra featuring our friend Arlen Horst. Listen for the second mandolin. Wow, that's really beautiful. Also, I think, oh, listen to the banjo coming in. the they've got all kinds of things going on in this orchestra they've got of course the aforementioned mandolin they've got a banjo they've got uh... somebody playing a uh... an upright bass uh... what a cool thing that's the seattle mandolin orchestra where our friend uh... arlen is uh... performing. Again, if that's to be believed, if that's not another one of those deep fakes from Arlen. Arlen, thank you so much for supporting TBTL and being a dazzling donor. We really, really do appreciate it. Couldn't do this without you. Hello and welcome to Top Story. I am looking up e-bikes these days, Andrew, because I would like to be able to ride my bike to town sometimes, but it's very hilly and getting back up here to the madrona hill studio and i wouldn't mind a little e-assist for that part like you know if i want to ride my bike maybe down to town and get dinner or something or just i don't know do some errands i don't want the last the last mile to just be basically straight up the side of a mountain without assist yeah but i'm also very as you know picky

about the the the look and the vibes of of the like i don't for me personally i don't want to get just one of those things that kind of looks almost like a moped yeah or that's just very and those are very practical things and probably if i was commuting if i was doing a daily commute on this or something you know there's probably some real upside to just getting something that's a workhorse that isn't you know all stylish or whatever but uh i'm looking at one of course that's all stylish called the like rev one what is it called the uh let's see uh uh oh the uh

ride one up what terrible name absolutely terrible name name is it ride r-i-d-e then the number one

and then up yeah no it's uh it's bad all the way around except the bike itself is so freaking cool looking it just looks like a real uh it's called the roadster v3 and it just looks like a regular kind of mountain bike or even sort of stylish i don't know road bike or something like it doesn't first of all it doesn't look like a 10 speed because i don't want anyone i don't want anyone thinking that i think that i'm sort of some sort of serious cyclist although you know who apparently the most serious cyclist in america is now the most serious cyclist in america right now Right now.

Right now is, I can't think of one cyclist. Is it Tim Robinson? It's Barry Bonds. Oh. Is he juicing? Does he need e-assist?

He does not appear to be. His body has radically transformed in retirement. He is extremely trim now, and his head also appears to have reduced down in size by many sizes. So he did have to go get a whole new set of hats Presumably from his totally legal days Of hitting baseballs out of the park But he He is apparently in his retirement An obsessive cyclist who posts Every single ride on Strava Which is that

That's that exercise

You can put your runs on there Our friend Barry, Broadcast Barry He puts his stuff on Strava I guess he's being very motivational I don't like, I don't have Strava I don't want my stuff on i don't want anyone to know what i'm doing ever because it's i'm not particularly proud of it uh but um barry bonds is a parent i read this article yesterday in the sf gate that he is cycling thousands and thousands and thousands of miles uh and posting it on strava and is setting speed records around the bay area for certain sections of roadway like but these are very short sections like quarter mile areas of from this point to this point and he's doing them at a pace that is the fastest pace anyone's ever recorded doing these

little areas. It must be over in a second then, because a quarter of a mile is so short, and if you're breaking the record, it must be over the blink of an eye. Yeah, they're weird.

They're very odd. It's not like he did it in three hours, and no one had ever done it in three hours before. It's like let's see, Bond's cycling. It's like weird let's see, they think that Bond cycling, it thinks I'm I'm looking for a bomb cyclone in the Bay Area, Barry Bonds cycling. Barry Bonds is now putting up mind-bending stats outside of baseball. This is an article from Alex Simon at SFGate. Yeah, like, some of the records that he has set, let's see. When Bonds was 53, he covered a popular 0.27-mile stretch of road in Mill Valley. So that'd be a little over a quarter of a mile in just 31 seconds. tying the fastest time recorded out of more than 120,000 attempts by 22,000 people. At 58 years old, Bonds posted the sixth fastest time for a .68 mile stretch along Shoreline Highway in Tumalpis Valley, a ride that has been attempted nearly 400,000 times. And six weeks later, he posted the fastest time ever on a .65 mile portion of Mill Valley's Blythedale Avenue that starts at Highway 101 and ends just short of Camino Alto. So he covered it in 69 seconds, which was the top spot out of 80,000 attempts at the time. What a weird third act for Barry Bonds.

Was the second act the congressional hearings?

I think first act was leadoff hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates who could hit and steal bases. His second act was monstrous headed man who hits the ball out of the ballpark every five seconds. But we're all no one can quite prove that he's juicing. And then third act is uploading his workouts to Strava.

Leasing through the streets of the Bay Area. I have a question for you that is going to lead us through. This is going to be good podcasting, but as a bike curious friend, I want to ask you, have you been doing research on the. I've been described as.

bike curious but um i'm a bike curious um have you been looking at hub drive versus mid drive because i remember our friend i have lee lambert who is our expert on all things biking here in the tbtl community wrote to me and gave me a very clear interesting breakdown and specifically said one is much better for my needs than the other but that was on our old email system i can't find the email and i can't remember which is which one is like a hub that is kind of in the center of the bike and the other one is like around the the rear wheel right a hub drive electric bike motor is

located within the wheel hub while a mid-drive motor is positioned in the center of the bike near the pedals okay i kind of had meaning the mid-drive motor is generally considered more efficient and better for hilly terrain as it can directly utilize the bike's existing gears i went down this whole rabbit hole of all this stuff including belt drive versus chain and you know about this whole situation no i assumed it was all chain oh no no no my friend belt drive is

sweeping the nation you're like that guy from that clip from the good place where he's listing medals and then i throw in a medal you're like oh god that's a fool's game that's trash uh belt

drive versus chain the thing about this so the belt is some kind of like a very you know engineered uh kind of i don't know carbon fiber futuristic product that it you know it is on the part of the bike where normally we would have the bike chain if we were kids and the thing about the belt drive apparently is that you don't need to it doesn't get sort of stretched out it doesn't need as much tune up as much attention as a chain does over time because a chain you know could could come undone or it could kind of just need to be sort of you know maintained with oil and things like that or grease or whatever you use um the belt drive is good i guess if you're doing a lot of off-road stuff because it's less susceptible to getting dirt and water and things in it things get jammed in it less because it's a closed system if i understand right i'm looking at is it also

in the housing is it easier to be replaced as well i'm wondering that part i don't know i ended

up i'm going with a chain for this by the way because i'm not going to be off-roading i have no interest in being in some sort of a mountain dew commercial i'm going to be on-roading it's And so I went with a chain, and I also went with eight – I think I went with eight speeds because that is, by my reading, supposed to make it – how do I put it? If you are trying to preserve a little bit of your e-assist, a little bit of your battery life, a little bit of your oomph, it helps to have multiple gears because then you can kind of put it in a higher gear to ride. Like, you can help it out a little bit going up the hill. Yeah. Whereas if you don't have any, it's just like a regular 10-speed or an 8-speed or whatever, like you remember from riding a bike, it's easier to ride up the hill when you can shift into a different gear. And so presumably this also applies on e-assist bikes.

So you are now talking in the past tense. You started this conversation saying that you're in the market for, but now you're saying, I got this. So where are you? Well, I don't got it.

There's a waiting list, but I got on the waiting list.

I see, because you said I went with. So you've officially put in your order. This is very exciting.

i have an order in i don't know when it's i don't know when it's uh when it's gonna get here i also have to assemble the bike which i'm a little nervous about yeah um but uh yeah i'm i'm excited about it uh and uh and we shall see again i'm not i'm not probably going to be an everyday bike rider although maybe so i don't know i i here the thing is i i don't like the fact that where i live as of right now i have to drive everywhere you know you it's it's nice to be in a walkable place i'm i'm sort of in a quasi walkable place i mean i could walk but again it would be down some pretty kind of steep hills and it would be along shoulders of like kind of sort of busy country roads where there aren't any sidewalks you know it doesn't feel inviting but i don't like the fact that if i want to go down to the like the market and get a thing of milk or whatever i have to just get in my car and drive walking would be kind of unrealistic because even that's a mile and a half away i'm think i'm hoping that this bike could actually be a way for me to go do a few things down in town particularly down in the town of kalama which i live pretty close to uh so but without walking because again walking isn't very realistic but but maybe this is a way to bridge

that divide i'm hoping anyway well i like that i'm envious i hope that i mean it seems like you you've ordered it at kind of a good time because it's still winter yeah springs around the corner yeah and maybe by the time it's ready for you it'll be you know the weather will just be turning i don't know how long this this waiting list is but that's that's really exciting i'm a little envious i i was you know like i said before i made it very clear i'm bike curious and i i was sort of thinking about it i you know i'm a nervous person i've told you this story before about how when I finally, some big things happened to me.

in eighth grade we moved to a house that wasn't quite as much in the country instead it was just like the buried in a cul-de-sac in the woods but it was still less countryish than where i grew up and i got a new bike and i was able to ride my bike about four or five miles into town to watch movies in a tiny little movie theater in downtown medina ohio but i remember seeing um father of the bride and just sitting in that theater and just sitting in that theater impression the whole time being worried about my bike that was chained up outside which that was medina ohio and like literally next to a gazebo in 1992 or whatever it was now i'm in seattle and i don't want to be like oh seattle is so dangerous and crime ridden but you really do have to keep an eye on your thousands of dollars worth of bikery i promise you have the second thing i did after i put the deposit down

on this little bike the next thing i did was start trying to gorgle around for like well how do you lock these things up yeah because it is uh i'll tell you it's it's more expensive by it's it's probably three times more expensive than the first car i ever purchased yeah yeah they're very expensive you know they they can be the one thing that's kind of nice about this is that it doesn't look like an e-bike very much or like doesn't immediately present so hopefully and also i'm My plan is literally to ride it to the McMinimans, have dinner, and ride it home. So I'm not planning on leaving it highly exposed for hours and hours, and certainly nothing's going to happen to it up here. But you're right. I immediately started thinking, okay, now when I get this thing and I assemble it, how am I going to make sure that somebody doesn't steal it from me?

Now imagine you're me and you live in North Aurora. You know what I mean? You want to ride it to the grocery store. You want to ride it to anything in Oak Tree. You know, like you've really got a real actual concern. You got like Pee Wee Herman level. Do you remember that scene? He just keeps pulling the chain. One of the top five film scenes of all time. Yes, as he just keeps pulling the chain. I had a VHS of that where the framing was off, the cropping was off. So some of those visual effects were actually ruined for me because I could see the bottom of the chain coming through. I could see the effect. Did I ever tell you that?

I think you did, but I forgot about it. I lost that VHS tape. I wonder how many copies of that were out in the world where they just didn't quite realize that they were it's amazing that that made it onto the tape like what cut of the movie

it's fascinating, I don't know and I also, there was another thing because I thought it was a joke growing up until I grew up and I saw like an actual different version of the movie this was a store bought cassette tape there's also a scene where they're driving at night I think he's in the car with the con who's on the run because he tore a tag off a mattress anyway you could see the track so obviously the the sense is that you're in a car moving forward at night but these signs are passing you on the left and the right i could see the tracks that the signs were on and i thought that was a joke in the movie until i saw like a different cut of very funny yeah funny meta joke that's what i would kill for that tape i mean i think my friend kristin took it and that didn't take it i think i gave it to my friend kristin and i didn't get back i don't think she's gonna hear this um i think i've asked her about this before i think i let her borrow it in high school and i never got it back uh she denies it we haven't spoken

in 30 years i i'm just trying to think what the how that version would have ever been presented to the public even accidentally like what would it must have something to do with aspect ratio and basically like the way that the movie looks before it gets formatted into a certain format and they're just somehow in the transferring of it to the VHS it didn't get put into the format it was supposed to so it allowed for this extra stuff you know I just

gotta be a website dedicated as quickly as possible I just typed in peewee big adventure VHS crop wrong and the very first thing I see is a 30 second video on Instagram that says do you remember the poorly cropped VHS and TV versions of Pee Wee Herman's uh or Pee Wee's Big Adventure so it wasn't just me and sometimes just seeing a little bit of this just make it eases my brain to know that I wasn't totally making this up because I again like all kidding aside about Kristen like I have not seen this version of it since I was you know in high school at the latest

Speaking of films, Andrew, golly, am I excited about this project. You know, here's the thing. There are lots of ideas for projects that never quite get off the ground. But Deadline Hollywood reporting that Paul Giamatti is attached to play Art Bell in a movie.

about art bell and about the radio show coast to coast i did not see this if i heard that they were making a coast to coast movie i would be pretty excited anyway but i could really see that movie going wrong like just uh being something really hokey or uh just somebody who's not particularly talented portraying art bell or whatever but the idea that it's giamatti of I could really use a win here thing. I could really use a win here! That, like, Paul Giamatti is going to play Art Bell, like, that is so encouraging for the prospects of this film being good and watchable. And, like, I am absolutely psyched about this idea. I really, really, really hope that it comes to fruition.

I think I'd watch Giamatti in anything, And it's not just because he's a good actor and a charismatic screen presence in his own way, but because he doesn't seem to choose bad movies, right? Like, he's just very discerning in what he's in.

Well, Big Fat Liar with Frankie Munoz. Oh, no.

Has he been in some schlock?

No, I think that movie is Beloved, actually.

Oh, I've never heard of it, and it sounded like you were counterpointing me.

We talked about this a while ago. It is a movie where Paul Giamatti gets dyed blue, I think. Like, he's like some bad guy who's out to kind of get Frankie Munez and his whoever the co-star is. And somehow they managed to turn Paul Giamatti blue. But I think even that movie, for people who were basically tweens when that movie came out, I think that movie's actually very beloved. Oh, okay. So it supports your point. I don't think Giamatti's been in very much bad stuff.

Speaking of turning people blue, I would love to play a voicemail for you.

Here I go once again with the email. I meant to tease this at the beginning of the show, and I forgot.

I wanted to say, if you've ever wondered what it's like to hang out with a member of the Blue Man group, you're about to find out. I'll hand things off to Dan in Miami.

Hey, guys. What's up? What's up? This is Dan calling from Miami. How are you? I lived in Chicago about 20 years ago, and a friend of mine's brother was actually a blue man in the chicago show and it was hilarious because whenever our friend's brother would like come out with us or go to parties or whatever with us he would always have like a little bit of blue paint like behind an ear or like around his eye or whatever i mean it was just the weirdest thing and then and then to boot so this buddy of mine just to kind of put the time frame in context i must have been halloween of maybe 2006 so this guy he shows up in his costume he's wearing a t-shirt or maybe he had like on his head like a book and then there were little cutouts pasted onto the t-shirt of people's faces and we were like matt what the hell are you and he said oh i'm facebook and we were all like i don't know what the hell that is like i had no idea what facebook was and uh that was i think the first time I had heard of it. Anyway, blast from the past.

Power out. Matt. I'm afraid I just blew myself. Matt of the Blue Man Group. Always with a little bit of blue paint somewhere.

That's like kind of in keeping, right, with the Tobias character.

It really is. I thought of immediately because when he joins the Blue Man Group, then you'll see him in other scenes and there's just always a little bit of blue paint somewhere on him. Or on the wall,

like the fridge maybe or something.

Yeah, I think also, yeah, isn't there some infidelity or something that is discovered because of blue paint being in an inopportune places or not? A place can't be inopportune, but anyway.

But wait, does he actually, does he ever go through it? Wait, Tobias being unfaithful? That's not the Tobias I know.

I could be wrong about this, but I believe Tobias, during his Blue Man phase, is also working in a place that is a restaurant during the day, but an S&M club at night or something like that. I could hear this at the tertiary plot. Obviously, he doesn't quite realize or he pretends to not realize the sexual nature of the place he works. And I believe he does take up with at least a very heavy flirtation with another worker there, I believe. But I, you know what, as much as I've seen that show.

I prefer to think of Tobias crying in the.

shower yes that's where he gets cut off tree is true there are dozens of us well thanks for that uh voicemail yeah i loved it um yeah that's great it's good to know that uh arrest development is actually a documentary yes based on real events all right uh well i guess that's gonna do it for today's episode but here's the thing about tbtl and i've been trying to explain this to people for years it's about quantity over quality we are going to be right back tomorrow doing this again we're gonna give you so much tb tell it's gonna make you sick i i was thinking about this a little bit because i you know i listen to the howard stern show a lot and i'm actually a little behind and they only do on a good week they do three shows and and they're off it feels like about every other week and they take you know very long durations of time off but even i'm still behind like five or six episodes of that show and then so i'm catching up and then i think oh these poor poor tbtl listeners like five of these oh yeah it's a lot for the rest of your natural life so we'll be back here tomorrow with more of it in the meantime have a great wednesday take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all I could really use a win here. Power out.