Muse

Cross promotional spots for a monster truck rally to be read during non-stop rock blocks? No thanks TJ, never again.

Look Z-Man, I know you're not happy about what happened back then, but I had no choice. Those traffic updates gave us critical mainstream support. And all we had to give up was one hour of non-stop rock. We never could have held onto that power rush hour. People just weren't ready for that much rock with so little talk. The 9am compromise allowed us to bring back Get the Lead Out Friday. In 96, the ratio of rock to talk was 3 to 1. Today, it's 5 to 1. And yes, someday, God willing, it will be infinity. TBTL!

I suck without the internet, dude. It's like, I'm too real for it, you know? Sometimes people say that my head is too big for my body, and then I say, compared to what?

If you had a favorite saying, what would it be?

Life's the party, rock your body.

You're so shy and small, and you're so loud and huge. I swear, every time this guy talks, all I hear is a turkey goblin.

You're both little troublemakers. You're both huge in Japan.

You probably have a lot to talk about. Go!

Keep things light. Don't bring up your divorce.

Well, all right, hello, good morning, and welcome everyone to a Thursday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

I heard about that thing on the AM radio.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I'd rather check myself before I wreck myself.

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at a kind of a mixed bag today. A little rain earlier, some clouds, a little bit of blue sky behind all of that. Interesting, right. It's the perfect climate to bring you episode 4407 in a collector series.

Let the fun begin.

That was a weird ding from this bell. I feel like that was more shrill than normal. I promise that is not setting the tone for this episode of TBTL. We are going to be anything but shrill. We're going to be warm, welcoming, approachable, relatable. Here's a relatable topic. I've apparently been doing my laundry wrong for the last, I don't know, 28 years of adulthood. Clean as your mama's forehead. and um i read an article about how to do it better and then this morning i just decided not to follow any of the rules um so uh we could talk about that also speaking of uh huge mistakes i decided yesterday for whatever reason to actually take one of those customer service surveys and i wish i hadn't done that regretted it almost immediately also it's a thursday aka A Blur's Day, so we will do some Blur's Day messages as well. And we'll talk to this guy, longest-running co-broil of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. We don't have an on-site HR team here at Too Beautiful to Biz, but we do subcontract with some folks, and I guess there are some new rules now that this guy is really pushing for the show. First of all, you must wear pants for this. His name is Andrew Walsh, and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Good morning, Luke. Can I tell you a relatively quick story that covers years of ground?

Absolutely.

It all began, my friend, in the dark days of the pandemic that stopped the world. I don't know what year it was. When was that, 2020, 2021? I was driving somewhere and decided I was hungry. And remember, you couldn't sit in restaurants at the time. This would have been an afternoon when maybe I would have ducked into a diner and had a bowl of soup and a French dip sandwich or something. But that was not an option. So I went through the drive-thru of a McDonald's and I got myself.

Which is not your move, generally, because you are Bob Walsh's son and you, the Walsh's, do not go through drive-thru.

No, it's on our crest. It shows somebody standing in a McDonald's ordering food and carrying it out to the car. It's in Latin.

No fries under the seat.

That's right. But I, so I go through this McDonald's drive-thru, the one by the original Burger Master, for whatever it's worth.

Rest in power.

That's not the Ravenna. What is that neighborhood over there? University Village. Yeah, University. It's on the outskirts of University Village. It's like, don't you think?

Oh, my friend, please.

Come on. Like, don't you think?

Do I tell you about Chainlink Edition? I actually do all the time and usually get it wrong. That is the University Village. I probably called it the wrong thing. That is the University Village Burger Master, if ever there was. I mean, first of all, that area, that mall is called University Village and is across from the playgrounds, the play fields of the University of Washington.

Maybe I'm talking, you know, maybe I shouldn't have said the original Burger Master. Maybe I'm confused as to where it is. I'm talking about.

about um it is sort of near okay hey everybody welcome to you might this is a short story about a long period of time with multiple interruptions you might want to fast forward a little bit because we're gonna get some micro i on the other hand i'm deeply invested in this conversation so if

you're driving down um what would it be 45th no no see this is way more north than that this is like are you thinking of the kid valley i think i'm thinking of the kid valley okay that's what So do you know the McDonald's that's sort of in that area? Sure, absolutely. Okay, and that's not University Village, right? So I did misspeak, but I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't. It seems like that's too far north for University Village. Yeah, I wouldn't call that University Village. Yes. So, okay, good. I was just concerned about the University Village creep. Anyway, I think it's Ravenna because it's right by Ravenna.

They arrested him years ago. I'm almost sure they got the right guy.

Show title? No. But anyway, yeah, this is right by Ravenna Park. Anyway, it doesn't really matter. I go in and I order what I used to order as a kid, which was like a grip of chicken nuggets and an orange soda. And I don't need fries. And it's like for me, whatever room I have in my belly that fries could take up, I would rather just fill that up with chicken nuggets. So I probably got a 10 or 20 piece, I'm not sure, and an orange soda. And this is what I kind of this was a traditional order for me at McDonald's when I would go there throughout my whole life. And I don't know if you recall me going into great detail around this time, but when I would have to eat in my car during the pandemic, I would try to drive around and look for something. I didn't want to be just looking at a parking lot or something, right? I do remember this. I would drive just places. I'd be on top of a hill overlooking a lake or whatever. I was trying to find you. And so I remember driving around this neighborhood, finding it wasn't no great vistas, but I found something I think maybe near the park or in a residential area. I pull over and I crack open this meal that I have not had in probably years and maybe I have a nugget or two and then I take a big what did you call I always see it in writing I don't know I took a big draft off of my soda you know my orange soda and I was shocked when it hit my tongue and I learned that McDonald's had started carbonating their orange sodas. Now, this was, again, this is like four years ago now. Growing up. Oh, sorry. Yeah, please. Respect the drop. Hamburglar. Did you just throw an amber alert?

No, I said Hamburglar.

Jeez Louise.

That'd be amazing. A silver alert. If somebody in the way back was saying silver alert.

No, I said Hamburglar. Okay. But all of that is to say, I did not realize that, you know, I grew up with a McDonald's orange soda that was non-carbonated, and I believe it was high C, but we just ordered an orange, we just ordered orange, orange drink, I think. Yeah. And I ordered an orange drink this time, and I was shocked. I remember reaching out to Camaro Kev, and I was like, do you know about this? He's like, yeah, it's been this way, man. Like, welcome to the modern world. And I was like, good Lord. And I think I maybe even fell for that a second time sometime around then. I think I'd forgotten about it or something, And there was just something offensive about the carbonation when I took this big drag of my orange soda. But then skip ahead, Luke, to last weekend. I'm driving in my car, and I hear a commercial. I'm listening to some sort of sports programming. And I hear a commercial with basketball star Angel Reese, right? And she's talking about how she's got this – I think a lot of fast food chains are doing this now. You can, like, order a custom Angel Reese meal, you know, at McDonald's. Now, these celebrities will have, like, special meals. I think Burger King started this, and then you can order, like, the Angel Reese meal or whatever.

And it's, like, some menu items that maybe aren't typically on the menu. Is that the idea? It's, like, a special – what makes it – why would I want the special meal from the celebrity versus my normal thing?

I think it's, like, the combination of food. Like, I know, like, how many different combinations can you really do? I mean, we could look up right now what is the Angel Reese meal while you look that up. But I know, like, there were some that were a little bit wacky. Like, I think, like, Burger King started this, I think – Burrure. because there was some celebrity who always went for onion rings and I think a lot of people go for fries there so it's just like how you mix and match your order or whatever but here's the thing, before you reveal what is on the Angel Reese menu I just want to say that in her, you know, a read from her and she's talking about her meal, I don't remember what was in it obviously but then she says, and then you can order any drink of your choice for me, that's a high C and I was like what is going on and with a little bit of googling it looks like high c the original orange might be back at mcdonald's luke they're now they're calling it orange lava burst i don't know yeah that's got me worried it got me a little bit worried but i think that's just a branding thing i'm looking at it it just looks like orange non-carbonated drink back at mcdonald's brought to me potentially especially through Angel Reese. I'm worried about that orange lava burst. When I hear bursting, I don't think of something that is, you know, kind of still, as it were. I worry that these high seas do not, in fact, run deep, that they are lava-bursted. Exactly. It's almost the color of what Jimmy Butler was dealing with in a recent NBA game.

When I think of bursts. Yes. Sorry.

When I Google the Angel Reese McDonald's meal, Jimmy Butler pants crap is the second result. Okay. So what do we know? The Angel Reese special, and Andrew, it is a limited time only. You're going to get a barbecue bacon quarter pounder with cheese.

Oh, barbecue bacon. Okay, that is a special meal.

Is that? Okay. I've never heard of that before. I haven't heard of it either, but I'm also not as frequent of a flyer with McDonald's as I might be. World Famous Fries, which is trademarked for the record I don't think, Andrew I know when you have some get-togethers this summer And you're going to make your World Famous Fries You are not allowed to refer to them as your World Famous Fries

Can I call them county-wide celebrated fries? You can call them the Big Fries

Everyone's getting together this weekend for the Big Fries

Oh man, those video-only commercials are getting so pathetic They had like a sale over It wasn't President's Day because that was this one. It was maybe one of the late summer holidays. And then there was a commercial that aired after that. It was like a lot of people had great deals during the big holiday weekend. But I guess a lot of people were out of town. So the good news for those losers is we're extending the deal now. It's like the most pathetic, like nobody came to our holiday sale commercial. But but it was like spun as like good news for you idiots who left town when you could have bought a flat screen TV.

Are they still running? Is it still that sort of man and woman having the world's least sort of naturalistic conversation that is written to try to seem like they're just casually chatting about 74 inch LG TVs?

Yes. And I want to be careful joking about this, but it gets when you hear these two people re-recording various conversations for years and years and years now, it's hard to not think about dementia because like one of them is always kind of like surprised to hear that the best deals aren't at the factory club. Right. We've been over this. You're the one who was telling him that last week. You've been you've been spending decades telling people this. Like, how do you not, how are you shocked at this news?

But aren't all of the good deals at the big box store? No, you ignorant slut. I feel empowered to say that because of the Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary. That is not how I speak to people in the world for the record. Obviously. But that's a really good point. Like, what is not getting through at this point?

It's like when they switch roles, it's not like one person is always the one in the dark. It's like, no, sweetie, last week you were the one telling me about this. Let's just go look at some TVs.

I bet those hi-fi systems are going to be really expensive. Honey, I need you to draw this clock.

Okay, what do we do?

Back to the Angel Rees special. We've got the famous fries. Again, the trademarking of this knows almost no bounds. Just to refresh, barbecue bacon quarter pounder, trademarked. World Famous Fries, trademarked. High C, trademarked. Orange Lava Burst, trademarked. All of these things have a trademark on them. Icon, meet Icon, in the Angel Reese special for a limited time at McDonald's. Let's break it down. This five-star meal is going to change the game with the new barbecue. So that is new. Okay, we've established that.

Yeah, that's new.

Let's see. The Quarter Pounder Patty Seasoned. We get it. Okay, Smokey Barbecue Sauce. let's see let's get down to the uh the angel reese special medium world famous fries and high c or other soft drink so now that it says high c and then parenthetically or other soft drink now

she said in her she said in her like read something like and the drink of your choice

for me it's a high c which also it's like let her live mcdonald's just make it the high c Like, that's such a, I don't know why this is the thing that bothers me, but it's like, so she likes high C, great. But they're like, but what if people don't like high C? Well, they think that the Angel Reese meal is not for them. Can you also just mention that they're allowed to get the drink of their choice? Like, no shit, Sherlock.

Can I swap out that orange high C for a Diet Coke, please?

You misunderstand, fundamentally, the Angel Reese special.

Okay, I don't want the Angel Reese special. Just give me a barbecue bacon burger.

I want two pieces of bread and then the chicken you five easy pieces That's so bad. I'm so sorry. My impression was rough.

Does McDonald's high C have carbonation? Andrew? Oh, no. No, McDonald's high C orange lava burst is not carbonated. I repeat, this is not a drill. It is not carbonated.

I didn't. Yeah, so you were worried it was going to be carbonated. I was worried they were going to change the flavor of it with the lava burst thing. But I'll bet you that's just a marketing thing because kids these days can't just drink orange. It has to be like just calling it orange, like orange notes, orange lava burst. Yes, of course. So that's where we are.

The question is, is this does this make you more likely that you will once again visit a McDonald's because you can get a high C product that does not have carbonation?

I mean, at some point, I don't think I'm going to make a special trip, but the next time I do roll through, because I'm trying to think that last time I went to a McDonald's was when. So sometimes when my friends are out of town and I'm watching their cat, I've got to go feed the cat in the morning. And I know – so this must have been like late September. I think there's this McDonald's I pass. You know the McDonald's. Oh, my friend. You have a little – you have a brass plate at the drive-thru.

I asked them to migrate it from the Baranoff over to that McDonald's on like 105th or whatever that is. If that's the one you're talking about right by the freeway there.

I used to –

village area yeah my rotation used to be yeah roll up to cairo radio at about 6 p.m um this is by the way what i left a a burgeoning career in new york city to do right i'm in new york i'm hosting this show uh i'm i'm i'm living the life there's a town car that is driving me to work every morning uh very early i leave all that behind so that my life can become go to cairo radio at 6 p.m., start prepping for TBTL with Jen and Sean, do the show from 7 to 10, go to either the Hideaway on Aurora or Goldie's or a combination of both until about 2 in the morning, and then on my way home, swang, as Camaro Kev would say, swangle into that very McDonald's. Not into, though. No, no, no. Into the drive-thru of. and then head on home and, you know, just cap the night off with a cool, I don't know, 6,000 to 8,000 calories of McDonald's. And what was your order? Well, you know, I think I was really in one of those chicken sandwich phases. They've got a breaded chicken sandwich kind of thing with, like, iceberg lettuce on it and some kind of a mayo, which I know you would not be a fan of. I feel like I was really big on that for a while. i remember one time were you in on this we ordered this was when i lived now down in mount baker some group of us i know camaro kev was there and i know rodent was there and i think we literally bought was it 50 worth of nugs oh just nugs we bought your nug boys we we weren't though i mean not you know self-identified but i just remember i'll text rodent later and see if he could sort this out i remember us you remember that that kitchen that i had at that place had that huge green island that was like a dyed sort of concrete that thing was mostly covered in mcnuggets just a pile of it and i'm i'm not gonna uh i'm not gonna beat around the bush it was late at night and we were big drunk yeah and i don't know why that was the move but uh anyway all that is to say i know

the mcdonald's that you speak of my friend so um let's see here oh anyway i was just like i don't think i'm in the middle of a story of course i am i always am anyway the last time i went to mcdonald's is um going after you're checking in on a cat but for a breakfast no like on the way to check in on the cat for breakfast food like i say i rarely go to mcdonald's but i guess i did go in like i say in like september and i got a and this is what i'm learning i'm finally learning because i've done this like maybe i've done this move like three times since i've been living here near that mcdonald's is i go through and i get excited and this might be a little much for you and I don't understand why, but I like the McGriddle sandwiches. I like the little, you know, they infuse the little biscuit with, it's not really a biscuit.

Crystals of a little bit of syrup.

A little bit of sweet syrup, and I like that. I get a sausage one, and I always am so scared they're going to put cheese on it that I say, could I get a sausage McGriddle, no cheese? And what I forget is that means no egg. You have to say egg and sausage McGriddle. I always thought that the McGriddle comes with egg and then either bacon or sausage. So anyway, I think I did this like twice and I was like, I pull it out of the bag and it's just, it's just sausage with the, and I was just like, eh, it lacks something, specifically egg.

Yeah.

But I remember the last time I did this last fall, I went through and I nailed the order, Luke. I just nailed it.

the sausage mcgriddle with egg and no cheese and uh took that over fed the cat sat down watched the cat eat while i just wharfed that thing down but the thing is i don't think i've been to mcdonald's for a post morning meal in possibly since this time during the pandemic i'm not sure but if i am getting a lunch thing i think i'm almost always nugs i haven't gotten a burger there

and forever i also thought that the airport was a place where you would occasionally uh you know darken the door of a mcdonald's because you have you have rules at the airport which are

there are no rules well sort of except the rule is like first of all most airports don't have like well at least the ones that i go to i think maybe like the one in is it oh it's not prominent at sea tack yeah the way it is at some other place yeah i think maybe the midwestern ones Like, I think O'Hare has a McDonald's or a Wendy's or something. I got excited about one. But a lot of the airports I go to, they're all like, you know, whoever the local famous chef is, some version of that thing or whatever. And also, like, my move at the airport now is almost always pretzels at the gate, like, especially if it's a morning flight. Like, I'll get a bottle of water and a thing of pretzels, and I'll just eat those at the gate, and I call pretzels nature's breakfast. I don't know why I said that.

Honestly, it sounds like a pretty low-key meal. Like, I could see a world in which, I mean, I guess it depends on what you've got to do on the other side of the flight, but I could see it being Bloody Mary time just because, again, airport, no rules. A lot of people do that. I could see it being, yeah, grab some kind of a croissant with, you know, breakfast fixings in it. But that's actually pretty, again, I don't want to get into defining certain kinds of eating as, you know, good or bad per se, but that's something like a pretty low-key meal, some pretzels and some water.

Yeah, I mean, if I'm at an airport.

It's almost communion. At any point, is the water transubstantiated?

It's like, when I say water, I mean it was water. It's now wine.

I got you. Okay.

And when I say pretzels, I mean Big Mac.

You mean the body and the blood.

Of Big Mac, the character.

Yes.

Body of Big Mac, amen.

And also with you.

If I have like a layover or something, and I'm spending a decent amount of time at an airport, I enjoy, and I know you overpay for it, but you go into it knowing it. I enjoy sitting at a bar, maybe having some sort of pub food and an IPA. When you're traveling, that's kind of a good feeling. But I don't always like to do that. Also, sitting on the plane with a big belly of greasy food isn't always the best feeling either. Pretzels are – I do like pretzels in the morning. I feel like they're handy toast. I know that we don't put salt on toast, but they're like little toasted, little airy things that you can – Sometimes I'll have some orange juice with it or something, but that's my move. I can't remember the last time I got fast food at an airport.

You know what I tend to go in for at the airport, particularly, and because of how much I travel, I literally know the places in the various airports. I love to get soup. And you know what I think it's a holdover from? My days of much, much heavier alcohol consumption. Oh. I think it would be not atypical for me to be wickedly hungover in, like, O'Hare. like and because my speaking of routines speaking of regrettable routines it would definitely be a get done with wait wait don't tell me maybe go out with the wait wait crew for like a drink and then beat a path to rossi's and then really get things rolling and so then the next morning i'm just like i'm just it's just brutal trying to get through a hair and soup is you know uh sometimes can be comforting so i think i've developed the habit of eating soup at the airport and another thing about it is that you know a lot of those places particularly i want to say this is more of a post 9-11 thing i guess but also i think with the pandemic maybe this was also impacted there became a point in time where you couldn't get a lot of decent ingredients even into the airport for the restaurants so you'd be you'd order something off the menu and it'd be very clear that it had shown up pre-assembled and they had just maybe microwaved it and then they also would give you like disposable um you know single use plastic utensils you're just like sitting there with this like very mid caesar salad and you're eating with a plastic fork and you're like why am i in tjo pooter shooters and sky harbor i could have gotten this out of a machine right what am i doing here so all that is to say the soup always seemed to be pretty reliable because i think it's pretty straightforward you kind of want and as we've talked about the alaska air

lounge which i've still not gained access to well i was gonna say that's what i thought you're gonna say the reason you had soup at the airport is because you kind of they indoctrinated you or they it may have also social engineered you because i gotta say you'll be shocked to hear this i've been hung over before once or twice too going to suit i mean i know that

The classic thing is tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. Social engineering. Maybe putting that aside.

What is it exactly, man? How does it work?

But for me, if I'm ever hung over, the last thing I would think about in the morning or afternoon or whatever is I'm dragging ass is a big steaming hot.

It like warms you from the inside. It calms down. It balances out your humors.

Oh, good.

It goes in there.

So you did go to medical school.

It tamps down the fires that are still burning in Mordor, a.k.a. various parts of your body where there's alcohol still operating. I think it's sort of the perfect internal lubricant the next day after some questionable decisions. Speaking of doctors, can I share a little email? I know this isn't the time we typically do it, but it's from a listener who is, in fact, a medical doctor. it's our friend listener Ian who is a dermatologist and said now if you remember the other day on the show I was attempting to co-host with you but I was also kind of spiraling because I had gotten an email or a message from my health care provider with a very medical description of what the results of my recent little colonoscopy were and it was unclear to me what the results meant So I started Googling some of the words in the results, and then I became kind of nervous about what the implications were. And then when I got done with the show, I got a different message that was like explaining it, and I was calmed way down. Dr. Ian says, hey there, Luke, I listened with absolute chagrin to your description of Googling your colonoscopy pathology results yesterday. Not because you necessarily did anything wrong, but because it is a scene I have had play out myself so many times. I am a dermatologist, so we frequently deal with biopsy results for patients, which arrived to us from the pathologist in a very similar manner, full of medical jargon and not intended for the patient to interpret themselves. Five years ago, that result would have been hidden from you until we had a chance to look at it and release it to you along with an explanation of its significance. However, enter the 21st Century Cures Act, a piece of legislation that was designed to increase medical transparency and presumably had some well-meaning goal that I still don't quite understand. However, one of the stipulations of this act was that the test results now have to be released to the patient as soon as they are available, which means that you now always see them before the doctor that ordered them does. These results come out whenever the pathologist is finished with them, So it is not on any sort of predictable schedule And you get an alert about it But we don't, because we get so many per week This has, as you can imagine Caused the scene that you've described To play out thousands and thousands of times Over the last few years People do exactly what you do They find the scariest word in the pathology report They Google it, and they work themselves into a panic Before we have the opportunity to talk to them about it So, again, not saying you did anything wrong But know that you fell into the same trap That many before you have everyone in health care and most patients wish that Congress would amend this law to fix this problem. But let's be honest, that is not really top of the priority list right now. So there you go. I guess the point in all that is to say, if you do, if you're going through something similar to what I went through and you get that ping from your medical provider, you might want to wait

until it's also gotten to whoever the doctor is that you've been dealing with so they can kind

of help uh decode it for you a bit one thing that i do appreciate about at least my experience in the modern health care system which has been it's had its ups and its downs as far as you know just my medical care is concerned and and how much i feel like people are you know the doctors or whatever are looking out for me um one thing i do like though is i get a lot of tests done now you know like they draw my blood and they test there because mostly i think at this point because of the medications i'm on what's that yeah it's mostly it's mostly root beer so there's like a root beer level you gotta watch yeah um but uh i was gonna say the uh so i get a bunch of like results back and a lot of them are kind of like hey is this uh is this drug you're taking affecting your liver too much you know what i mean or whatever like so so i think that's the main reason but also there's some inflammatory stuff that they're checking but i go i get my blood drawn and i will say it's a pretty quick turnaround usually if i have an afternoon appointment I will have my results usually that evening from the blood lab people. But it's all through that, you know, people who are familiar with the medical system are probably familiar with my chart or some version of that, the portal into your health care system. You know, your results are in there. It keeps a record of your appointments, that type of thing. And what I like is they now, instead of just giving you a bunch of results that you don't know what they mean, they show you on a little spectrum from like, you know, green to red to yellow. I can't remember exactly how it works out, but you want the arrow basically in the middle of these. not too high and not too low. And so before, so I do get that before my doctor weighs in. And then the doctor has done a really good job of weighing in, like within, you know, usually I wake up the next morning and I already have the doctor weighing in, but like, at least it gives you some sort of a visual representation of like where things are. Like, am I, you know, pinning up into the red, you know, like if so, then I definitely like, even I can tell that. And so I got to say Like, that whole thing has been working out pretty well. This law that Dr. Ian is talking about sounds like good intentions badly executed, I guess.

Well, maybe in this one way, you know, they hadn't really thought through what the result was going to be. Because I can absolutely see the logic behind saying, well, patients should be receiving all of the information. And they should be receiving it in an unedited form so that it's not the doctor. As I'm saying this out loud, I'm also hearing how RFK Jr. I sound. We're going to leave it to the doctors to interpret this information as opposed to the podcasters of the world. As I'm saying it out loud, I'm like, yeah, that is kind of a dumb idea.

Yeah, there are all kinds of results that end up in my doctor's hands that he, or in some cases she, would have to... No, no, no, no, hold on. Back up. Lady doctors? I've had some. we'll put an end to that but um you know like of course no that is literally what i'm paying them for it's like if i don't go to get my car repaired and they just like give me a bunch of it maybe this is a bad a bad example they just like dump a bunch of data on me from like what they got when they connected my car's computer up to their system that doesn't mean anything to me i need them to interpret it that is their expertise and with health care all the more so like i don't want to be doing this myself i want to ask the doctor what does this mean that is literally their job

right and i think what you have pointed out and i'm i'm you know i'm with you on this which is that i don't think i know better than doctors generally speaking i mean you know there's examples and please don't this has been a been a busy week of me saying things on the show and then people reaching out somebody said the other day please stop please stop saying that everyone over the a certain age over the age of 70 is a conservative um i said i don't remember saying that i think it was because i had said that it was surprising to me that my dad's politics and my politics have aligned at this point and i clarified this in an email to this person my point in that was not about my dad's age it was about my dad's kind of religious persuasion and the way that i grew up and the principles that i grew up believing about the world and about the bible and god and stuff And so I'm very pleased and relieved that I'm not, you know, every day when my dad and I are talking about politics, it's not a battle. It's like we're on the same page. But anyway, all that is to say I've been stepping on some toes accidentally here. So there are probably some people out there that will say I had a bad experience with a doctor who would not give me the kind of care that I deserved or required. I'm sure that does happen. I'm not trying to say that doctors are infallible other than Dr. Ian. Dr. Ian is infallible. and I will be seeing him for all of my colonoscopy needs. Well, he works out of the

Vatican, right? Yes, he does.

What color is that smoke? Boy, again, let's just keep doing it. Let's just keep jumping from lily pad to lily pad. I was thinking yesterday as I was listening to the updates about the Pope, who is 88 and has bilateral pneumonia, maybe we should stop picking the Popes when they're already at a pretty advanced age. Is it that you could not have possibly built up the information base by age 40 to be the pope like it seems like this is a recurring issue they in order to have the gravitas to be the pope you have to be at an age where you are likely to experience some medical difficulties yeah i i gotta you know i gotta say

i like this pope as far as popes are concerned and like so i'm not trying to the first so yeah like i he's not as hot as ray fines but but and also i will say that like well at least they didn't they didn't elect somebody or choose somebody who served in the Hitler Youth Program. In the Panzer Division. Like, yeah. So it's like, that one was always mind-boggling to me. They were like, well, he was a kid. And I was always like, yeah, but there are a lot of Catholics in the world. Like, can we just find one whose resume doesn't include literally the Nazi Party?

Well, they were ahead of the curve on that as far as rehabilitating the image of that entire movement.

Not trying to paint with too broad a brush here, but, like, is that too much to ask for? And now you have this pope who's, like, one of the first, like, people with a very large platform who has actually been standing up, pushing back on what's going on in America. So, like, yeah, I hesitate.

I mean, I wish him good health, but I just—I didn't realize he was 88. And that's just, you know, that's just a—

a point in life where there is oftentimes some sort of medical stuff starts going on. Anyway, all that is to say, I'm with you, Andrew, that I am just, I would leave it to the doctors to explain it to me what's going on, and I'm fine with that. And in fact, going forward, I'll probably just ignore the medical ease and just wait till one of the doctors can say, well, this is what this means to us.

I would like to quickly throw in an email that I got here as well, because I meant to do this at the very top of the show. Our friend, Gather, is, as you and Camaro Kev say, as you say, as Camaro Kev says, they're swangling through Phoenix for the QuiltCon. Should it be Quilt-a-Con? No, just QuiltCon. But anyway, so they want to have a little meetup. So you got Gather from Chicago. You got Michelle from Leavenworth. They're visiting Phoenix for QuiltCon, and they're putting together a little TBTL 10s get-together there in Phoenix, 7 p.m. this Friday. That is tomorrow. 7 p.m. tomorrow at Huss Brewing. That's H-U-S-S Brewing downtown convention center area. So there you go, everybody. That is a little 10s meet-up tomorrow at 7 p.m. in Phoenix.

Nice. If you are in Phoenix or if you are a quilter who's at the conference and you have no idea what TBTL is, you should still show up. I think these are good people. Yes.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

Speaking of good people, we've got some amazing people to thank right now, our dazzling donors of the day. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough that keeps a TBTL happening. And we have arrived at Dr. Kirk Honda. Oh, our buddy. The pronouncer, Andrew, is you say clerk and then you drop the L.

So it's Kirk Kirk? Or wait, that's the first name.

It's Kirk Clerk Honda. Okay, gotcha. Esquire. Dr. Kirk says, hey, Luke and Andrew, as a fellow podcaster, By the way, Dr. Kirk has been a guest on the show multiple times We've talked about it a lot But he has a very Like a crazy popular podcast on YouTube It's Seattle Psychology Today

That's what I want to say I feel like I would have looked that up before

Millions and millions of views on there So he says fellow podcaster It's like yeah, but also you're getting a lot of views Psychology in Seattle That's what you want to Google it. Okay, psychology in Seattle. As a fellow podcaster, I know the ups and downs of putting yourself out there, but no matter what, you two always show up with energy laughs on that TBTL magic. Huge kudos for that. I do have a few hopes. One, I hope you really let these dazzling donor messages sink in. Seriously, bask in the love and appreciation. It's well-deserved. None of us would donate if we didn't absolutely love what you do. Hey, thank you, Dr. Kirk. That's a really nice thing to hear, and also, I will be honest, we're saying before the break that nobody heard, just like a blip, but I leave it to the medical professionals. I leave it to the psychological professionals to tell me when to take a bow, and Dr. Kirk is telling us to take a bow, Andrew.

Okay, unless he's being sarcastic. Now I'm all in my head about this.

No, no, no. So, number two, I hope more people step up to donate or increase their contributions. Since you guys rarely ask, I'll do it for you. Hey, Moochers, chip in already. Wow, that's a tone. Not very doctorly, sir. Number three, I hope you keep talking about all the same things because I'm here for it. Middle-aged health folks. Oh, Dr. Kirk.

Oh, this is the show for you.

You have been loving today's show more than you even realized. uh uh sports talk well we were doing that during the break that nobody heard andrew that's true yeah garbage adventures we need to circle back to that because there was a point andrew a week or two ago where you said we can either talk about this or my latest garbage thing and we didn't ever go to your latest garbage thing everything turned out okay it was there was a

lot of chaos around the app when the snow came uh yeah and like there's a specific app for you know residents like me to that tells you when to take your garbage out right and usually it's very very simple because every other week is recycling and everything else goes out all the time um but you would think when there are holidays and then snow events or whatever the app it's like the whole point of having this app would be to alert you to these things but they don't know how to maintain it sometimes they just don't update it for the holidays so you take it out and it's not picked up and then during the snow like the app was literally telling me two different things I take it out.

tonight or it's going out the next night or whatever but like two different places on the episode so I was just very frustrated a couple of weeks ago everything worked out okay my garbage was picked up I'm glad I put it out the day early because the app was actually wrong but everything is okay and in all seriousness I appreciate those drivers out there in the not so great road conditions hauling my garbage around I don't even

open the updates from my garbage provider I wait for the garbage man to interpret them for me.

Yes, that's how you do it.

There's just a ton of stuff in there I don't get, and I don't want to get it. That's how you do it. I want the professional to let me know. Dr. Kirk also says he'd enjoy hearing about the Greenwood QFC, getting shirty with people in public. I noticed you skipped over political woes and toilet stuff. Oh, I did. That was not intentional. Political woes, toilet stuff.

You know with the Jimmy Butler stuff, we got both sports talk and toilet stuff. Yes, we did.

Getting shirty with people in public, which I don't think, I feel like we haven't done that in a while.

Yeah, I need to get rough.

Yeah, can you get back on that? Can you wander back into SARS Superstore with all kinds of personal luggage they don't like? And, of course, never getting to the news stories. Once again, way ahead of you, Dr. Kirk. Here's to another year. Love you guys. That is from one of our dazzling donors today, the wonderful Dr. Kirk Honda. Thank you, Dr. Kirk. We appreciate it. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go.

Everybody rattle. No. I'm scrolling down in the message, and I'm seeing the insignia of the city of Edina, Minnesota.

But did you say it correctly?

Well, let's find out. The second dazzling donor we have to thank today is Carolyn. Carlin of Edina, Minnesota. Carolyn says it's pronounced Carolyn, not Caroline. Yeah. But I'm not fussy about it. I'm glad to know that, though, because to be honest with you, I would have probably said, I would have mispronounced it because of the spelling.

Yeah, this is spelled because somebody just recently, like, set me straight on this. If it's spelled this way, it's Carolyn. If it's spelled this way, it's Caroline. That makes no sense based on words. But I'm saying that it looks like this one maybe bucks that rule of thumb. That's what I was saying. Yes, yes.

uh so every time i or mick shell write in from edina there's a question about how to pronounce the town's name so this year i'll teach you here's your mnemonic think edinburgh the same the poet robert burns gave edinburgh the nickname edina which is uh where the founders of our town took the name okay so well first of all problem with edinburgh is it is itself a confusing name because it looks like edinburgh so if it didn't have that big fringe festival i would never know how to say the scottish city of edinburgh yeah i think that this explanation i gotta say i read

this quickly yesterday and i know closer to knowing that carol did this on purpose but i think this gets me further away from ever properly saying the name of this town i could be i could be missing the point everyone get out a pen and pencil yes it starts off in scotland in edinburgh

in edinburgh scotland which they pronounce edinburgh where the poet the great scottish poet robert burns nicknamed the city of edinburgh edina which uh i didn't know uh that is where the founders of the place in minnesota where caroline is uh that's where they got the nickname the scottish and irish history of the community is seen in our town logo shaped like a four-leaf clover with the four leaves representing the four quadrants of the town made by highways 162 there's a thistle and a shamrock in two of the leaves the other leaves have an e and then carolyn says boring and an image of the mill around which the town was founded enough with the obscure history lesson oh also carolyn wrote that in the message um i also want to shout out to the crafty tens facebook community this year we're having a great time sharing our various arts not all of which involve yarn you folks are fabulous i do actually really like this uh town uh what are we calling it the uh the logo i like this town logo i'm also very worried that robert burns is actually not scottish i assumed he was because of the edinburgh connection and because in my mind i think he's scottish coded but he could have also been irish i doubt he was british can we get i anytime i try to say something with authority i immediately regret the decision scottish oh look at that love it uh again i'm also way too much headroom in his official portrait on wikipedia

i will say they were

I've been doing that when they were painting it. Why do we need that much headroom?

I love that this bugaboo of yours predates photography.

Let's make that landscape, and let's look at line of sight and headroom here, folks.

Speaking of photographs, by the way, thank you so much, Carolyn. And also thank you very much to Dr. Kirk. Thanks for making TBTL possible today with your dazzling donations. Hello and welcome to Top Story. Speaking of photographs with a lot of headroom, I saw this picture, I think, in my local paper here, The Columbian. I believe, no, you know, it might have been in The Oregonian. But it was a story about a drug bust, apparently a huge, yeah, it definitely was in The Oregonian. And it was about what they think might be the largest, like, meth bust they've had, at least maybe in terms of something that was in a car uh the headline is astronomical bust shows meth trafficking's stubborn grip on oregon but what i was struck by was the photo of the meth which has mando the drug dog sitting in front of the meth and i think they need to start doing

this more so mando is this something that i'm supposed to recognize from previous conversations or you're just discovering Mando?

I just noticed it this morning, and I just thought this is... I have very complicated feelings about law enforcement trotting out their trophies of things because I think it feeds into a certain narrative. I don't think it would be good for this amount of meth to be in circulation, don't get me wrong. But I just don't... I don't love the kind of victory lap that law enforcement tends to make when they... It feels to me like a justification of a lot of other stuff that is not great. but I do think putting the dog that presumably found the drugs in the photo is a pretty great

idea. How does that dog look? What kind of dog

are we talking about here? I thought you could go to the Oregonian website and look for yourself or I can take a picture. You can do that

but also this is an audio medium I thought maybe you could tell the listeners as well

Well it's got a lot of head space which is why I thought of this

Which is why I don't want to look it up

Although the head space is actually, that's not quite true There's a folding table that is literally buckling under the weight of the bags of drugs and then there is a cinder block a white painted cinder block wall at the sheriff's department in it looks like washington county oregon and then sitting like the goodest boy is mando the drug dog okay kind of a german shepherdy looking yeah very much german shepherdy you know one of those kind of working dogs and um did you uh get there yeah i'm there now i'm looking what do you think of this photo

um it's yeah it's pretty cute i guess um i uh i don't know if the table's buckling

is it buckling it looks like it's like the like the the side to the left maybe i think there's

a piece of cardboard sticking off of it um maybe that's maybe that's creating an optical illusion

but but like i said i generally speaking i'm not a fan yeah of this kind of publicity again which is weird because i'm not saying i wish that these life destroying drugs were in readier supply for people that's also not what i'm what i'm thinking here but i do think putting mando in the photo

is helping me i really like mando i'm trying to figure out what the funniest dog would be if it wasn't because of course it's a german shepherd right like i was gonna say i'm literally gonna say a limited nasal function exactly i've smashed face just making that oh man i was and i

don't know if you show up with the drug sniffing dog and it's a pug and he's just like i don't know

man your guess is as good as mine now i want to be careful because i i will say i don't know anything about dogs i've never had a dog and so i i don't know what's going on i think some people can who know more about dogs can be kind of judgmental about breeding practices and whatever i want to be careful of that because i might be describing a kind of dog that some of our

listeners have and love i don't see dog owners as being in any way sensitive sensitive about

anything you might say about their dog or other dogs but jenovie and i when we were leaving croatia And we took a one-hour, no, it was like a 90-minute ferry ride just to get off the little island we were at to get to the airport that morning. It was a long day of travel that started by, well, started by land, then by sea, then by air. And when we were on this, you know, kind of large ferry, but it was very early. It was like 5 a.m. or something, maybe 6 a.m. But, you know, that feeling when you're around a bunch of other people, it's kind of like very, everybody's sort of sleepy and on their own little. some people were going into work some people were obviously traveling like us but everybody there's sort of a a stillness a quietness on the ferry but then there's this uh area you can go to where there's a we were in like sort of the front of the boat and then there's this area you go to to get some snacks or coffee or

something like that and the restrooms were there and the few times I passed through this area there's a little hallway and there's this couple with a dog and I don't know what kind of dog it was but it was a dog with one of those smashed faces and it might I think it maybe also was maybe older or something but it just constantly seemed like it was in crisis mode and I don't know what was going on with it but these two folks like they were in the stairway hallway thing like they were not they weren't like sitting at a table in one of these loungy areas i think they were there because of the dog and keeping an eye on it and and it was breathing so loud i could hear it from so so far away and it just and i don't know what was going on with it but it just it was starting to really affect my mood i felt so i didn't know what i want to do but i just wanted to like just love this dog more because he just sounded like he was in so much discomfort yeah

it's also a topic that is probably very charged for people and that I don't know a lot about so I don't want to yeah I don't want to say something that that that ticks off yet another listener but I definitely this dog definitely voted for Trump I feel anxious when I think about a dog not having an easy time breathing because of design yeah in a way and I don't know if the design I don't when I say that I don't mean that the dog was designed to have poor breathing but because of other characteristics that were being bred for it might make it really hard for them to breathe

that like makes me feel like i'm having an asthma attack yes exactly i also think a dachshund would be funny in this photo that would be pretty great yeah but like an extra one that's bred to be very

very long very long wrapping maybe with an extra with an extra set of feet in the middle of its long long long body i like that's what i'm into i'm like i like yes like pugs i don't know guys Let's think about that. Dachshund's with an extra set of two feet in the middle. I'm all for that. And a horn. Yeah, why not while you're down there? I mentioned this at the top of the show, so I guess I'll try to close the loop on it. And it's not a particularly fascinating story, but I guess it was a reminder as to why I don't participate more in this world of kind of answering surveys about how the service was. Like, I don't think I'm saying anything particularly novel when I say it is out of control. The, like, surveyification of modern life, it's, you know, you buy whatever it is you buy or you interact with whomever it is you interact with, and then you've only begun the journey now of swatting away, how did it go, emails and messages. And it's, I guess it's one of those things that you only notice, I was going to say, why have companies not figured out that you don't want this in your life? But then you're not noticing the companies that don't do it, I guess, is part of it. So there probably are some companies that realize there's a limited utility to this and also people don't like it so let's not do it. And those ones I'm just not noticing that they're leaving me alone. And it's always the most random one. I'll tell you who won't leave me alone right now. FastGrowingTrees.com

Oh, you, was that?

I bought Star Jasmine from FastGrowingTrees.com In fact, Andrew, you want to see my Star Jasmine?

Where is it?

Look, there it is.

Oh, it's inside right now.

Yeah, I brought it in when it was really, really cold, but it's getting some light. I'm trying to not overwater it.

How's the smell in there?

It hasn't bloomed yet, and hopefully it won't until I move it outside this spring. But, boy, it seems like the company's, I don't know how many fast-growing trees I'm going to buy in my life, but this company has really been hitting me up multiple times a day to see how it went and to try to sell me other stuff, et cetera. All that is to say, I went down to the bank the other day in town, and I love this bank. I'll shout them out. It's U.S. Bank. I have an account there. I also have an account at a couple of other banks, not to brag. It's just because, you know, I'm living a secret identity, and I need to have money spread out to different places in case I have to go on the run again. Anyway, I went down to the U.S. Bank, and I just love the folks that work there. They're really friendly. I also don't have, this is getting weirdly into the details of my life, but I don't actually have a checking account at this U.S. bank. I just have a savings account, which means I don't have a debit card from this place, and I don't have a checkbook. So if I need to interact with them, I kind of have to go into the branch, and I kind of love that because I wouldn't say I'm tight with the employees there, But they're just, again, I really enjoy this little, it's the, it's one of the elements of living in, I guess you could say sort of small town America that I really do enjoy. There's a lot that I don't love about being out here, but the idea that I kind of go into my local bank and I wait in line and I chat with the teller and I do my little banking, it's, it's, it's a kind of a nice little moment.

And so when I pass a fire station with a Dalmatian on the way. Exactly.

Yeah. You know, and then there's a couple kids, firefighters are talking to a kid. kid who's got a slingshot in his back pocket and they're pointing at a broken window yeah but it's in an old building that nobody really uses so the kid learned their lesson it's a learning opportunity for sure um so i i get home and i get a you know a ping of course from u.s bank like how was your how was your time at the bank and i thought you know why not tell them that i enjoy the folks that work at this bank and that they're helpful and that you know this is a i mean what i was doing was I was withdrawing money so I could buy some, so I could put a down payment on some cushions for these bench seats that I just had my dad build. And, um, they said, if you pay with cash, we won't charge you the, um, processing fee on your card. So I had to go to the bank to get cash money. And then I had to go down to the upholstery district, which is surprisingly robust in Longview, Washington, and then give them cash money so that they can order the fabric so they can make these cushions that's the long boring version of this story but anyway i was like yeah i i like these people i want to tell a u.s bank that they have good folks working at that branch and so i um i said yes i never say yes to this stuff and i said yes and andrew when i tell you that there was maybe 40 questions whoa it was so so long and in depth it wasn't just like how was your experience which i gave it a 10 it was like how was your experience 10 how was how was the person who helped you 10 uh were they friendly yeah 10 did they seem to know what they were doing yeah 10 did you have all of your needs met yeah 10 like it just kept asking me versions i kept thinking this has to be the end of this i've now done i've said yes to like nine things and it just kept going and kept going and kept going and then finally it said like you know thank you for your participation would you would you agree to answer more questions yes or no and i was like hard no no absolute no now here was the here was the thing andrew and you tell me if i did the right thing or not the person who helped me um and i i'm i don't know if they can they probably can specifically tell which teller actually helped me right like i'm sure there's some record of which which window i was at and which person was at that window at that time or which you know area of the front of the bank or whatever they asked if the person offered me basically what they want this person to do is constantly try to get me into more digital products there they want to sell you on something and this person didn't try to sell me on anything which i appreciated

but then it was like you didn't want to get them in trouble i don't want to get them in trouble for

not absing always be selling yeah but on the other hand they didn't which i liked so i said like did this person encourage you or did this person inform you about cds and floppy disks and no did this person basically try to like upsell you into some other financial instrument and i was like no they didn't and i was like oh yeah i just lied should i just said they did that's a

really good question unless they they've had too many tellers who are like been freelancing that stuff and they're like we're trying to clamp down on people trying to upsell our customers all the

time right i wish that were the case i have a feeling i have a feeling it's the opposite when

mr u when u period s period bank comes down to check on his bank by the way how much do you tip

a teller in this situation i go like 50 percent 50 percent of the withdrawal okay yeah no that So I was taking out 400, so that's like 200, I think?

Here's where I am on these customer service surveys. I'm happy to do them. I've talked on the show. You actually do them sometimes. I've done, yeah, and the thing is, on the show, because if I'm a little bit piqued about something or felt like I got bad customer service, I will then fill it out, and then I will read it on the show and sort of make fun of myself because it's always so cringy when I leave negative feedback. One thing that you should know, though, is I am usually not on this show sharing the nice ones that I say, because there are times when I get really great customer service or just great service or really enjoy a product or something. There are plenty of times if they hit me up afterwards, I'll be like, absolutely, that was great. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, I told you immediately after the show, I got a pretty – not unlike the email you got regarding polyps, I got an email from my health care system involving – I feel like polyp's poundstone was a missed opportunity. Or an opportunity properly missed, so as we can maintain our friendship. But I had a real scare, kind of a financial scare, because it turns out some of the support I was getting to pay for some of these drugs I take had dried up, and I didn't know that it was finite. And all of a sudden, like I was looking at what my bills were going to be for the year and literally saying to myself, oh, I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep taking this medication and also just being so pissed at the system and calling. And it's. there's always like there's the your health care provider there's the um pharmacy that i use to get these drugs and then there's your insurance and then there's this like fourth party that handles some sort of a it's actually the the um drug company itself has some sort of a program to offset costs of the drug it's a very strange system yeah and everybody just wants to bounce you around between the four of them and some people clearly it occurred to me when i'm asking for clarification on things i'm always saying i'm really dumb on this stuff please slow down i realized one of these people didn't know what she was talking about like she just didn't know she was just barreling through dangerous to call them i'm like call who like there's i'm talking to the pharmacy right now who is them i had to keep saying wait you keep saying call them and i could sort of tell oh she's flustered she doesn't have the answers either but she's the person who's supposed to have them because the system is so complicated after making a whole bunch of phone calls i end up on the phone with somebody from my actual insurance company she was the best now it she helped me figure this out she took all the time that i needed i never felt rushed she never felt flustered she was invested in helping me we figured out what was going on it is going to be a little bit more expensive but not as cataclysmic as i thought Like in that situation, I am happy. I was so happy to have such great customer service from a sector that you don't expect to always get great customer service from. So there's plenty of that in my life as well.

There is something about these surveys, though, that drive me a little bananas. There are some that are really trying to figure out how your experience was. And even though the one you took yesterday sounds a little annoying, it sounds like they were really trying to dig into your customer experience and truly maybe care about it. other companies only care about getting the highest ratings possible so that they can market it you know i mean that's why you know i don't want to get into too much detail here but when a when a rideshare service was sponsoring the show years and years and years and years ago and i had mentioned during an ad read like kind of like oh sometimes i give four stars sometimes i give five stars we were told no no you always give five stars i don't don't talk about that And I'm like, why does this company not want to get realistic feedback on their drivers? And I realized, oh, because they just want to say our drivers have this five-star rating. You know what I mean? So that's really annoying when the company is only using that for marketing and doesn't truly care about what your experience was. And then there are, and I've only had this once, and it was with my beloved, question mark, Seattle Mariners, oh um who i have uh very my beloved tony morrison um i have obviously i have a lot of uh emotions wrapped up in the mariners from both their on-field performance but also the cheapness of the team and the and the millionaires who own them and also the politics and policies that go around um some of the decisions that are made in that part of the city and the fact that like the Mariners and these very, very deep pocketed organizations and individuals are constantly trying to sway the city council on various things. And I took a poll. I don't think we talked about it on the show, but I think I talked about it on KUOW. I went to a baseball game. I think this was two years ago. And afterwards, I got a email from the Mariners. Hey, would you like to take a poll about your experience at the ballpark? I'm like, I would, because I have a lot of feelings about Like, I love the ballpark itself. There is literally not a bad seat. I love that. Do I love $20 beers? No, I could talk about that. There's plenty to talk about. I've heard you love them. What's that? I've heard you love them.

Maybe not the price.

Yeah, no, I like the beers. Anyway, the point is, there would be plenty good and bad to weigh in on, right? Like, oh, and the ice machines are always out by, like, the sixth inning. There's no ice in the stadium. like that would be helpful feedback yeah the whole poll was about did you feel safe how did you get there did you take the bus did you feel safe on the bus did you feel safe getting off the whole thing was clearly them trying to make it sound like i'm scared of homeless people or some of the some of the grittier areas around there so that they could use these poll findings and say oh well we need to like kind of sweep this area like you could feel what they were going for in this very specific poll never once did they ask me about concessions or anything it was all

Edgar has fixed Julio Rodriguez's swing in the first half of the season as was right posited

by uh Ryan Divish this was still the Scott service era um but anyway but you know you see what I mean like when I felt like I was I actually took I took screen caps of it and I sent it into a local journalist and said like this isn't a story but for background when you eventually are writing about how there's a new push from the people who have stadium interests to like, you know, and this wasn't too long, I think, after they had kind of swept that whole area. And there's some sketchiness about the legality of what they did before the before the all star game that was here a couple of years ago. And it's just like it's wrapped up in a bunch of stuff I feel pretty passionately about. And it felt real scummy to me. It was like a push, push, pull, a push, push, pull.

So, OK, see, I think that. Well, first of all, that I hear what you're saying. And that sounds pretty shady. I guess part of my thing is I have always assumed that all of these things just fall into a just a complete chasm after you do them anyway. Like, in other words, maybe not so much that Mariner's one, which again, you're right, is a manipulative thing to get a certain outcome. But I mean just like, how is your fastgrowingtrees.com user experience? I just always assume that if I were to take the time to do it, it actually makes no difference. But maybe that's an incorrect assumption on my part. Because maybe so few people actually do take these things that maybe it does matter. And maybe I can try to use it more so as a tool for good. In other words, when I do have a good experience, like I was on, I was in a whole situation with Etsy. Do you ever buy anything from Etsy? Is that where you got your record player case from?

No, I got that from Deftone Records, but I have bought things from Etsy, but it's been a really long time, really long time.

Etsy is really complicated because it's so folksy, but I think it's probably one of the largest, it's a behemoth of online retail now. And it's not just somebody made a thing at their house. It is a little bit, but mostly it's somebody made a thing at a place in India. You know, as my experience having bought things through Etsy, I think that the idea behind Etsy was, you know, small businesses and people who are crafting and making things by hand would have a way to sell their stuff. And I'm sure that is still a section of Etsy, but I think it's kind of grown well beyond that into just being a place where pretty large operations, oftentimes overseas, can sell you something that's not particularly expensive. But all that is to say, I ordered a rug, like a runner, and for some reason, because of the vagaries of the, I don't know if it's the Shopify app or the shop, somehow it wanted to send this to my old apartment in Brooklyn. We're going way back here. Wow.

You must have ordered something way back in the day.

I must have ordered something from Etsy 20 years ago in Brooklyn. And I've certainly ordered stuff since then, But this is what's weird about all these, like, frictionless purchasing things, you know. I'm trying to buy this rug, but the way that whatever I clicked on to pay is associated with this old address of mine for whatever reason. And so I click, you know, whatever, and then it's like, all right, thanks for your order. And I immediately go, oh, no, wait, it's going to Brooklyn. That's not going to work. So I email them. I email the seller like, hey, this is not my address. Here's my real address. I don't hear back from them. and then i'm just getting these updates i try to go to etsy and i'm like hey it's gonna go to the wrong address and they're like take it up with the seller and i'm like and by when i say they say that i don't even mean a human is chatting with me i mean the bots are you know the bots are out maneuvering me so i can't get to a human i'm supposed to click on this link for my orders but this thing i ordered is not in my orders because it hasn't been delivered yet you know i mean it's just like that kind of runaround like once it's been delivered then you can file a report and i'm like i don't want to file a report i just want this to come to my house where i live instead of going to a brownstone in brooklyn with like nine people living in different sections we're gonna be like free rug yeah right and then just to just to sort of ice the cake like i'm just i keep getting these updates from you know fedex your your rug is almost there luke i'm like yeah enjoy it yeah brooklyn and so i but i can't get anyone to so finally i guess it gets delivered and then the other morning i just i was up pretty early and i was just like this ends now and i was like i just went from like i had all this pent-up frustration that was like feeling like i wasn't being heard feeling like these systems don't actually allow you as the customer any sort of relief and so like i'm chatting with some i finally get a human i'm chatting with on etsy and i'm like i need to this is delivered to the wrong address and i tried to stop it and i want my money back and then and they're like okay well here's how you you know log in and i'm like that's not working and then i'm also at the same time i'm i found a way to message the seller and i'm like i'm gonna i'm gonna challenge this on my credit card if you won't you know i'm just like i've gone from a zero to hot i'm coming in super hot and then all of a sudden it's like ping ping and it's like uh in my email i'm getting a thing from etsy which is a notification that the seller who's in literally like pakistan or something is like uh hello we've refunded your money apologies for the confused and then ping the person I'm chatting with Etsy is like Etsy has officially refunded your money and it's like all of a sudden I just have my money back and now I just don't even know what to do with my emotions

Etsy has you know this is a thing this is a little bit yeah I think this is the same thing like I am somebody who has a really hard time with confrontation and standing up for myself and then there are there are times when i do that and i get what i want and then i feel awful and i i i mean this goes back i feel like i wish i could give you an example i'm not trying to be cagey here but i feel like there were things at work way back at new hampshire public radio 20 years ago where i would like kind of like oh like kind of make a but you know me when i get frustrated i don't think i'm at my most articulate when am i when am i is really the question there but like i think i can get in my head because i'm not great with confrontation or standing up for myself that my wires get a little bit scrambled in those situations so that i'm not really proud of how i maybe came off and i don't know how i come off in all of them but then when somebody's like okay yeah we can go your way then i'm like oh shit why was such a jerk god damn that's where i felt and

And again, I had to remind myself, the person responding to me from literally across the globe is not taking this personally when I say, if I cannot get a hold of someone, I will be. By the way, I don't even know how to challenge it on my credit card. It was like $100. Probably the credit card would side with them. They'd probably say, I don't know. We sent it to the address that was listed in the purchase order. Like, that was an empty threat. But it was like, I was just so like, I was like, I'm going to frigging Sally Field, not without my daughter, this shit. I will go to Lahore, Pakistan and rattle some cages if I have to. And then they're like, yeah, the money's back in your account. I was like, oh, okay, well, it's 7.20 a.m. What do I do next?

What do I do with the rest of my time? I am looking this up. I have a quiz question for you. Who plays, and I had to look it up because I couldn't picture his face, but I couldn't quite remember his name. Who plays the abusive husband in Not Without My Daughter? It is a name that you would know.

Okay. Now, here is where here's where I'm wondering if this gets ethnically complicated, because is the idea that Sally Field's daughter has married someone who is in a different country?

I believe Sally Field's I've never seen the whole thing. I've never seen the whole thing. My understand. But I've seen parts of it, which is why I wanted to ask you this, if you knew the doubt. But I believe she is an American who married an Iranian American, I want to say, but then went over there for a while to live. But then kind of she and her daughter get caught under – it's a custody battle because she has no rights over there as a woman.

But I guess what I'm worried about is it is a non-Iranian person playing an Iranian.

Oh, that's a good point.

Is it Craig T. Nelson?

It is Craig T. Nelson. It is Alfred Molina.

Oh, okay. I'll allow it, Andrew. I am the arbiter of these things. Alfred Molina. I mean, Alfred Molina's greatest role, of course, without a doubt, is.

Oh, wait. Hold on. Alfred Molina's greatest role. I picture him as sort of like he just pops up in a lot of things. He was in that weird Trump parody movie from Comedy Central that was spiked. Remember that one? Oh, I didn't know about that. We talked about it on the show. This is years and years and years ago before he was ever even president, but he was about to become president, I think. Anyway, that's the whole thing about that. But I had to download it illegally because it was spiked from everywhere. Wow. This is like 2014 or 2014.

Was that an outgrowth of that show that they started doing where the guy was being Trump?

No, it was Johnny Depp playing Trump. Whoa! You don't remember this? We talked about this. I do not remember this. a trump movie hold on i'm still wondering uh donald trump's the art of the deal so they remade like they called it the art of the deal the movie but it was a parody and it made fun of him uh is it oh 2016 i'm sorry 2016 american parody film by funny or die so i got a lot of things wrong here i said 2014 and i said it was comedy central it was funny or die the satire of trump Loosely based on this book But obviously it was a send up And it had a hell of a cast Johnny Depp, Jack McBrayer Patton Oswalt, Alfred Molina Henry Winkler Ron Funches, Andy Richter The list goes on and on and on But I'm pretty sure it was Spiked and scrubbed Because of the fear of lawsuits That's wild because

You would think back then It was a simpler time, Andrew And you would think that Like, you know, even funny or die would be like, what are you going to do? You know, what are you going to do? Sue us? Like, like, sue me for what? Like that, I would absolutely, unfortunately see this happening now. In other words, the, the, uh, such a Paul has been cast over content. And it is so obvious that this administration has zero respect for any sort of norms that I definitely would see a network now not airing something that they thought was going to be, you know, getting them in the crosshairs of this administration. I would not have thought so all the way.

back then because we foolishly would have thought well what can he really do you know it is weird

though that when you said what's hell for melina's most yeah you mean the unreleased spiked project that you might be the only person who saw it that's how i am with um uh and we will get back to melina but that's how i am with uh michael shannon too you know the actor michael shannon

of course you probably know rem enthusiast you might know that's right he covers some rem songs

But I know him This is kind of an ongoing joke In our house I know him from a movie called Pottersville Which is like

Is that like a counterfactual history of It's a Wonderful Life

No but it is a holiday At least holiday time Movie It's got him It's got an actually somewhat stacked cast And it's about a guy Who I believe his wife leaves him And then he gets drunk It's like a very small town And he gets drunk in the back room of the small store in the small town, accidentally puts on a Sasquatch costume, wanders around the woods drunk. Somebody sees him. And then it becomes this whole rumor that there's a Sasquatch. So he continues to dress up like a Sasquatch and wander around the town. And I always think, oh, Michael Shannon. Who's that guy, Genevieve? What's his name? He's from the Sasquatch movie. She's like, he's from Boardwalk Empire. He's from Agent Van Alden. There are so many more popular things than Pottersville. Have you looked up Pottersville, by the way?

No, but I haven't because I'm still in Molinatown. But I have to guess that that is a sly reference to the fact that in It's a Wonderful Life, when Jimmy Stewart was not born, Bedford Falls is called Pottersville. Yeah, I mean, it's definitely. That's got to be just like a very subtle, I'm sure.

Judy Greer is the person. And Thomas Lennon. Ron Perlman. Christina Hendricks.

Oh, I mean, what a cast. I'm going to watch that movie.

Pottersville and the Art of the Deal parody that was spiked. That's weird things to review. So what is Alfred Molina's best role? I have been stalling. I've been stalling. He's not in Lebowski, is he?

Well, it's a different auteur, but it's one of the, I would say, four main auteurs of our time, and I'll narrow it down for you. It's not Quentin Tarantino, and it's not the Coen brothers. Okay. Who's that leaving?

So is it Us and Nope? Nope, it's not Jordan Peele. It's not Jordan Peele, and it's not the Coen brothers. Oh, and is it Batman?

No, it's not Christopher Nolan.

I wasn't thinking of the 89 Batman. It's not Tim Burton. It's not Tim Burton, okay. I'm trying to think of the other auteurs. I don't know. I'm out. Give me the director.

It's a Paul Thomas Anderson film. Oh, okay. It is Boogie Nights, where he plays a coked-up weirdo who's got this other guy just lighting firecrackers in the room the whole scene.

That's right. He's so coked up. Now, that's not the same scene, or that's near the time where they're screaming on the phone, there are tapes, what's on the tapes is ours, right?

Yeah, well, that's later. I think, you know what, I'm forgetting the exact timeline. I think it's around, it's when, it's as things are really falling apart for our boy, you know, Eddie Adams from Torrance, a.k.a. Dirk Diggler, a.k.a. John C. Reilly, a.k.a. Chess Rockwell, I think might be his name, but like, it's definitely at that part of the movie where things are going off the rails, they're trying to, he's trying to release the, you got the touch, and then I think it's Michael Penn is playing the record guy who's not going to give them the tapes and all of that, but this is where they're just, for some reason, they're at Alfred Molina's, I don't know if they're trying to get drugs or do something, but the thing and I'm gonna play a little bit of all There's probably so much music in here that we don't have the rights to I'll just we'll just see where this goes, but it's but by the way it starts with a Close-up a push-in on a cassette player, and it says my awesome mixtape number six Is playing in Alfred Molina's house Fuck. Oh whoops, okay. There's a firecracker. It's Cosmo

Oh, he's Chinese. That's why life's letting off firecrackers, huh?

Oh, Jessie's girl? Just, he's smoking some sort of terrible drug and the kid is just lighting off firecrackers and he's just dancing around to Rick Springfield. It is one of the more high-stress movie scenes I've ever seen. I believe at some point he's just kind of like got a gun in his hand that he's just kind of like being weird with. It is just the overtones are just so intense.

Yeah, basically that movie does follow the kind of narrative. I mean, I like... that movie better than the types of movies it sort of mirrors and if not mirror but you know that narrative arc of rise to fame but then like basically at the peak of that arc cocaine is introduced or at least massive amounts of cocaine are introduced and then that's when things really

start falling apart yeah you're right it is like and I think probably Paul Thomas Anderson is is so smart that he understands that he's engaging in a very sort of tropey way to tell the story But he's doing it intentionally But you're right The arc of Boogie Nights is an arc That many a character has followed In many a movie of obscurity To achieving higher heights Than they ever expected To finding themselves in situations They never intended to finding themselves At the sort of absolute rock bottom Of life

If you can find VH1 behind the music That focuses on Motley Crue And you take the narrative arc of that and you line it up like a sine wave over the narrative arc of that movie. They're going to line up.

Perfectly map onto that. Exactly. That's a little Alfred Molina talk for you. All that is to say, as we wrap things up here. And by the way.

Oh, I forgot about Blur's Days. Oh, we've got to do Blur's Days, Sandra. I think I've got to do Blur's Days directly from my email because I don't think I prepped them.

Oh, my Blur's.

This is going to be a messy Blur's. Hold on.

Let me light off some firecrackers.

Where's the cocaine?

This is whatever it takes, buddy. Whatever it takes. So let me just – I'll set this up for the listeners. Now, generally speaking, when we do the Blurses, you have gone through – and by the way, if you do have a Blurs Day message you'd like to wish somebody or yourself or Alfred Molina, you can send Andrew at tbtl.net a message and put Blurs Days in the subject line. That's right.

And usually I compile them all into a little sheet. You compile them.

You edit them for length and clarity, not on like a New York Times sit-down. And usually it's a bit of a process, and it sounds like today folks are going to get the – I'm going to use a word that I don't actually – it's not the word, but are they getting the unexpurgated version of – let's just find out what – I'm buying you some time to – I thought you were just going to say – well, never mind. No, I was not going to make a drug.

No, no, I was going to sing an old dirty bastard lyric that occurred to me. If I say that in a microphone, it's out there forever. I'm not singing that.

God made dirt and dirt bust your ass.

Expurgated.

What does that mean? It's of a text or account having an objectionable or unsuitable matter removed. Well, in a kind of... Expurgated. It's the unexpurgated version. So, like, no, this would be the expurgated version.

Okay.

Because if you had unexpurgated it, you had taken out... I don't know. Did I buy you enough time to do a quick search?

Well, I was also... Yeah, I got my email open. And I'm going to fire the sounder here, and we're just going to do this, love it, right from the email. Okay, I'm going to start here with my spam folder because sometimes Blur's days end up in the spam folder accidentally. I see there is a legit email in here from a listener that did get caught in the spam folder. It's not a Blur's Day message. We also got an email, phone addiction is real and it's impacting young people. There's a chance we could get a guest on the show too. That's from me. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wait, why are you pitching yourself on TBTL? That's very strange.

It's the only way I can get my stories in, Andrew.

There's also a pitch for Faster, Smarter Podcasting. Oh, buddy, that's not the brand. That is not the brand. Okay, so now back to the... It looks like the good news is there aren't too many Blursdays today, or I'm missing them. We're going to start with this one from Toby. This is, again, I apologize. I have not put eyes on any of these yet, but this is from Toby. in Denver who says if you get a chance I would be so thankful for you guys to recognize my BFF Corbin on his Blurs Day which is actually today the 20th Corbin is one of the best humans I've ever encountered, smartest, funniest cleverest, best dad to Oliver, husband to Hannah friend to many and most importantly introduce me to TBTL for which I will be eternally grateful. Heck yeah. I thought you were going to say eternally peeved. I love you so Corbin and happiest blurs day to you love tobe and dave all right sweet happy blurs day to corbin

All right. I got to swell the music. Okay. Marshall says, happy Blur's Day to my amazing girlfriend, Louisa. If all goes according to plan, we'll be hearing this whilst road tripping around Iceland. Whoa. Having spent last night in an igloo dome hotel under the stars. I'm praying that the Northern Lights gods come through for us on your birthday. That's from Marshall in Amsterdam. I remember Marshall.

I've met Marshall before. Yeah. And clearly Marshall did not take my advice about Iceland, which I said avoid it.

Oh, that's right.

I said avoid it like an icy, icy plague. Marshall took your advice. You love Iceland, at least that one part of the airport with the shadows. With the shadow play. How did you like Iceland? The shadow play. Shadows by the Sbarro were incredible. Wow.

Look at this. From Michelle says, Happy Blur's Day to my partner and husband, Mike. You are my favorite person in life, and I'm always amazed at how much you do for me and our son, Cal. As we await our second baby arriving in two weeks. I know there's no way I would rather take this journey with again. Love, Michelle. Congratulations, guys. That's really sweet. And happy Blur's Day to Mike. Good luck with the baby. Oh, that sounds like a baby. That's the sound they make. I will say, so far, I have been blessed with some messages here. Fairly straightforward, fairly concise messages. Yeah, not too long. Nice. All right, here we go. Yeah, here's a last-minute one coming in from Josh Elliott, Ben and Earl. Happy 40th Blur's Day to my amazing wife, Karen. We celebrated 20 years together in the fall, which means we've officially... Whoa! Officially. 20 years together at 40? Years together. When you know, you know. Yeah, it says, which means we've officially spent more of our lives together than apart. Genevieve and I just crossed that Rubicon ourselves, or at least I did, because we've been together, we did the math, we've been together for 24 years, and I'm 48 years old, which means I've officially spent half of my life with Genevieve, which is actually lovely to think about, and I'm glad that you guys are thinking about that, too. Let's see here. This is about Karen, though. So she is so smart and fierce and beautiful and the person that makes me feel whole in the world. Come on now. You're making us look bad. She's an amazing mom to our two boys, Elliot and Ben. You have to say something here, Luke, because I have to cough. Okay. I'm playing Elliot's favorite soundtrack, which is this one. That's perfect timing. Thank you, Kat. She was an amazing mom to our two boys, Elliot and Ben, and the chief movement officer keeping this family circus going every day. here's to a fun and flirty 40s we love you endlessly from Josh Elliott, Ben and I got an email here from somebody who says Santa has died that's not a blur's day, that's an anti-blur's day oh wow, that's breaking news that's Biff Whiff oh Biff Whiff, sure Lieutenant Crashmore yeah exactly, RIP, I think that's it we got a podcast sponsorship opportunity here that I think I'll ignore happy blurs day everybody happy blurs oh Daniel Daniel Koontz wants to know that wintergreen is my favorite mint and it's green okay alright I think this is kind of fun

I like the dynamism of it

I'd said that

that Boogie Nights scene was one of the more ominous scenes in film but that was one of the more ominous scenes in podcasting I'm over here I'm sweating diving head first into various Blur's Day messages without any getting eyes on them before.

That went pretty well. Maybe we should do that every week. Tightrope walking there. Alright, is that where we leave things?

That's it. We do still have one more show.

What did we do? What did we talk about?

What didn't we talk about?

You know what we didn't talk about is that tonight

I'm doing a whole other radio show between now and tomorrow's TBTL, Live Wire, tonight at the Alberta Rose Theater. Maybe I'll see you there. In the meantime, for the rest of yous, we will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. for you. So please do join us for that. Let's, uh, let's celebrate that Friday together tomorrow here on TBTL. Uh, in the meantime, have a great Thursday, take care of yourselves and please

remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all. Power out.