Muse

It's like I always say, a bush in the hand is worth two birds. It's like I always say, man, a bird in the bush is worth two hands. A bush bird is worth two... You can lead a bush to birds, but you can't make it in hand. A horse in the hand is worth two in the drink. It's like I always say, you can lead a horse to a bird, but you can't make it in the bush. A bush in the bird's hand is worth two horses. You can lead horse hands to a bird, but you can't make it... Horse in the bush is worth two birds. A bird on the horse is worth two. Bush. Birds. Horse hands are worth two bird bushes. You can lead a bird to bush hands, but you can't make it drink horse water. TBTL!

This is a show for people.

About dogs.

Starring one dog.

And one dirty dog.

Come on up. This is not real sweat either. I sprayed it on. It's made from the actual sweat of professional athletes.

And it's romantic, and it's full of these sort of situations, which turns out to be that it's very interesting, very scary at times, but also a lot of romance and really well made.

Hey, you either get it or you don't. I don't, but I am so excited to be a part of it.

well all right hello good morning and welcome everyone to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live this song goes out to all the coffee lovers of the world my name is luke burbank i am your host are you sure that's what they said on ass chiefs coming to you from the madrona hill studio perched high above the mighty columbia where we have oh ma pa it's just beautiful i think we've turned a corner my friends it is just an absolute beautiful day we are in the home stretch uh well not really what is it today's wednesday so carry the one i don't know what are we like 10 days away from springing forward from springing ahead things are going to start happening to me now i think we are in for a real change of pace around here and i for one am very excited about it i'm also very excited about episode 4 411 in a collector series let the fun begin where we find ourselves today i'm also excited about uh cracking the code on soup it tastes like soot and hot water i'm hooked i am really proud of something i did last night in the culinary department and when you hear it when you hear me talk about it later in the show you are going to be unimpressed as the listener but i am very proud of it and i want to talk about it with you all and also my good friend uh andrew walsh the longest running co-bro of the show may be best known for his depictions of the tall shit voice is like a combination of fergie and jesus he's joining me right now good morning my friend luke who am i what a question

this is a question i'm asking myself today when i get an email from ebay letting me know we know

you're not wheeler dealer 2000 because that's me on ebay letting me know that i still have the

highest bid in for this 1982 gi joe cobra soldier action figure but wait luke you're picturing an action figure that's all in one piece that's where you're wrong my friend this is an action figure that is broken into three pieces and i am currently the highest bidder at 17 i shouldn't even tell anybody this because they're just going to go in is there some sort of medication that you should

be taken i've taken none of or have taken too much of ah wait and this is where you're thinking

this must have been some toy that andrew had in his youth yeah and he wants to rebuy it nope never

had this character before an arm that needs replacing on a toy that you have you're you're you're going in for a dismember is it cobra is it cobra commander it is not a cobra commander

it's a generic cobra soldier and it's 1982 and it's specifically a bad guy okay let me what's that retail for let me explain well uh i'm the highest bid right now at 17 dollars and that is that is higher than i was that is so much cheaper than most of these things when i placed my bid it was like well i got an automated thing from ebay that says this user usually sells things closer to 30 dollars i so let me let me back up here a little bit when i let me back up i was born in 1976 in fairview hospital right outside of cleveland ohio not too far i would later learn from the tire dealership that my shady uncle ran in Cam's Corners. But I'm going back too far here. Let's skip ahead to about, I don't know, 12 years. That seems right. I'm a little boy, and I'm playing with my G.I. Joe figures. And it was kind of funny. I did get into them a little bit late, I think, because my mom. Mom was not a huge fan of, like, sort of, like, toys with guns and stuff like that. Honestly. To her credit. Yeah, to her credit. Yeah. And so, anyway, but at some point, you know, I really wanted to get into G.I. Joe, and I did. And I ended up, you know, with a pretty fair, you know, pretty big collection of the toys, various vehicles, and various whole buckets full of. I don't think I had Destro.

I might have. I don't recall. They added Destro in the way that they added Scrappy-Doo, I feel, to the Scooby-Doo world.

Was he later?

I feel like there was, in the way that you'd be watching Scooby-Doo, and then it would say, and Scrappy-Doo, and he would swing in on a rope, and you'd be like, gosh darn it. I feel like Peter and I had a song called Destro's Back that was just Destro's Back, Destro's Back, Destro's Back, and Destro's Back, because they were trying to make Destro's... You were making fun of it? Making fun of the fact that there was a G.I. Joe, there was a modified G.I. Joe theme song that involved Destro, and it felt like they were trying to make Destro a thing.

Now, that's interesting. Destro was one of the original toys back in 83, so they didn't add a character.

Did he have a solid, like, metal face with that Destro?

Yeah, you're thinking sometimes he would be referred to as Chrome Dome by Cobra Commander when he would hiss it out. Remember how Cobra Commander would hiss everything out? Uh-huh, yeah. Anyway, I did have a decent collection of the little action figures growing up, and I really did like them. And then at some point, and I think this is kind of true to who I became mostly in my life, was like, I was like, I'm just getting rid of all this stuff. I just didn't feel like dragging it around. I don't even think I'd ever made it out of my parents' house. I think I developed in maybe my later teenage years just a carelessness about this at all. And just like, I think I gave them all to one person, maybe some nephew. I don't have nephews. I don't know. I gave it to I gave my entire collection to some person like oh they'll have fun with it great and now as a man in my you know late 40s sometimes I think oh yeah you're literally

piecing the collection back well not one limb at a time that's not entirely true what has happened

is somehow through my moving I have found a few G.I. Joe action figures here and there in various boxes from my youth like when I gave my entire collection away oh I know it was to my friend's kid in probably the early 2000s um and now i'm sure that they've moved a bunch i'm sure it's just like gone with the wind now but there were a few action figures that somehow leaked their way into my adulthood just by being maybe in the wrong box or whatever and so now if you come into our basement you will see maybe i think i have one star wars figure which is less fun because they don't bend at the knee or the elbow um and he's standing i think he's somebody he's like he's dressed in all black he's like a bad guy he's like one of the guys who's like i'm the death star right he might even be the guy who starts choking or something like that so i see the guy whose lack of faith is troubling it is disturbing i believe disturbing yes uh it might be him anyway i have him standing on my xbox and then i think i have three other gi joe characters and none of them are the good ones by the way like one of them is crazy legs the paratrooper and the other guys i don't know who they are i don't know about crazy legs yeah i think crazy legs came a little bit later but anyway a while back crazy legs ironically or aptly enough his legs done come off luke

and you know how the gi joe we're doing we're replacing yeah i do know that there's a rubber band inside all gi joe guys and at once it goes into that weird little like pinchy thing that is the essentially i guess the ball joint of the hip replacement that you would be making on a gi joe

character so when when these rubber bands inside get dry rot and break which is something that happens quite often i think especially these toys that are like 40 years old now um the legs fall off and then when the legs fall off there's a pelvic piece that falls off as well and then you just also have the upper torso which stays all intact with the head and two arms sticking out of it and this happened to crazy legs and i was like oh well crazy legs his legs are off now and i would just keep him on display on this little dresser we have in the basement it's my far side off the wall calendar and then crazy legs leaning up against it with his legs and pelvis spread out in front of him in a way that would probably cause nightmares for some uh i didn't really think too much about it and then the other day one of these other generic toys i had that sits on our sound bar in front of the tv just enough so that it gets in the way of the bottom third of the screen I picked a bump off the floor because Bingo likes to knock him down all the time and when I picked him up his legs fell off again and the pelvic piece came off and I said to Veves, another one bites the dust or whatever and she's like, you know you can buy the rubber bands to fix those and I'm like yeah I know Camaro Kev tells me that all the time, I took a photo and I even sent it to Camaro Kev, I'm like another one bites the dust, he's like you know you can fix that, just buy some rubber bands, so anyway next thing I know generally

Genevieve is on everybody's least favorite commerce website and she's like, they're like $5 for a bag of 80 of these rubber bands. I'm buying them. I'm like, okay, fine. The next day, I see that Genevieve is already starting to fix one of these G.I. Joe guys. The bag has arrived and she's started the process, but I haven't finished it. I watched a little YouTube video. I forget that there's a little screw in the back of the G.I. Joe guys. You have to unscrew the torso and then you have to make sure to keep the head and arms in place.

I never knew that, which is why I couldn't figure out how to ever get that rubber band.

They didn't have YouTube when you were trying to fix them, I think. So all of that is to say it was very satisfying. I was never going to buy these to fix it, but it was very satisfying to fix these two G.I. Joe toys who were broken. Crazy legs. His legs are less crazy now. He's fixed. He's now standing next to that calendar, but standing in a very, very uncomfortable way. I just sat him down there, and then later I saw that Genevieve was really insistent on getting crazy legs to stand. But the only way he can stand is if he's holding his hands above his head, but then bending over 45 degrees at his waist. So he looks like he's doing some sort of modern stretching or core exercise.

He looks like me this morning doing my second day of my weight training.

I'll try to take a photo of how he's standing and I'll maybe make it a show pic if he's still in that posture. But anyway, it was so satisfying to fix these two little G.I. Joe guys, and I almost wanted more. I was like, I could fix these. I said, Genevieve, next time we go to a garage sale this summer, spring, let's keep an eye out for G.I. Joe guys, and we can fix them. I don't know why. I have 80 of these. I have 78 of these O-rings, and I want to fix them. They've got to go somewhere. So then two days ago after the show, I was just like, well, how much do G.I. Joe guys go for on eBay? Can't be that much. It's a banana, Michael. What could it cost? $7? No, it turns out like fully functioning G.I. Joe guys go for like between $30 and $70, probably more depending on rarity. They're super expensive because they're collector's items. What's Bazooka go for? So then I start Googling. Bazooka!

I'm like broken G.I. Joe. That's the sound of the kids when Bazooka shows up to tell them that you can't. Borrowing someone's bicycle without asking is stealing it.

The more you know. Yeah. What does he say? pork chop sandwiches pork chop sandwiches oh right that's like overdub yeah but anyway so i'm looking at you're looking what if i look i'm like let's look for broken ones they're not that cheap luke i bid 17 somebody else got 80 rubber bands i originally bid like 15 i'm not paying more than 15 plus shipping for a broken gi joe gi joe that is going to come in three parts that i put back together but man i do not mess around on these bidding sites often and this is why because the second you get an email that says you've been outbid you're like you son of a are you well you're no wheeler dealer i've been outbid i outbid you i suddenly have some anonymous enemy who's like up bidding me on this gi joe toy that i'm already bid i've already bid more than i want

on did you set like a price let's say it was going for ten dollars when you logged on did you tell you would go up to $15

or whatever? Yeah, and then I upped it like three times now. And I'm up to, I think I've told it I'm not going above $18 and I'm not. But right now it's $17. It's holding steady. You might be going up against

a Snipe program. Yeah.

I know, but it makes sense. Yeah. Why not just have a bot upbid me? Yeah.

You want to see something that Wheeler Dealer 2000 recently purchased on eBay? This is really your handle? I thought you were just spoofing around. No, dude. It's been my handle since I bought a Subaru Outback from Stormville, New York. I bought it on eBay. Wheeler Dealer 2000 did. Wheeler Dealer 2000 cashed in his KUOW 401k to buy a Subaru Outback on eBay.

I don't even know if I have a name on eBay. You have to.

Are you just a series of numbers?

I don't know. I'm going to look this up. I think the first thing I ever bought on eBay was about 20 years ago. and it was a cartridge of Super Mario 3 for Genevieve because I still had the original NES when we were dating and she told me that was her favorite game when she was a kid.

Oh, that was really, that's a nice thing. I bought this watering can, Andrew. Oh yeah, like a vintage grass looking. Yeah, because I've got this star jasmine that I'm kind of hot housing here. And I was like, I'm going to get more plants in my house and I want to water them. But there's something about the modern watering can that's it feels to me like if you go on you know i don't know some stylish website and you go like watering can they're they're so locked into a certain design aesthetic that i feel like they're all going to look silly in three years you know what i mean like they're over stylized for me because plants are very in style house plants are really having a moment. So I wanted to get something that was a little bit less tied to a particular moment of time, and I got this guy, and it was like, I don't know, 10 bucks or something, which seemed like a screaming deal, until it showed up, Andrew, and I put water in it. Oh, I think, wait. And it 100% leaked water everywhere.

So you know what I did? I'm looking at the bottom of it. I thought it was maybe bottomless. I thought maybe it was just for indoor decoration, but no, it has a bottom, But I can see that it's got, like, some erosion on the bottom, I can see.

Well, what you're seeing, yes, there was some erosion on there. But what you're now seeing is Flex Seal that I sprayed on there.

Let me see. Tip it up.

There's a little bit of water in it. Oh, I see.

That's why you can't. Okay. Interesting. Flex Seal.

And I sprayed it on the bottom and inside. And it totally worked. Andrew, look at this.

Just like the commercial. I've never used it.

Just like the commercial. I felt like I was living in an infomercial. I wanted to make a boat out of it and then float along the Columbia River.

Don't they put a screen door in the bottom of a rowboat or something like that?

Yeah, some craziness. Yes. I went to Home Depot, and I went to the, you know, I have something that's supposed to hold water, but it doesn't aisle. And they had Flex Seal, and I bought it, and it actually worked. That's very satisfying. Isn't that insane? Like, I totally thought that was a scam. I mean, I guess I didn't think that was a scam because I spent $18 on the can of Flex Seal.

Well, you were prepared for it to be a scam. You're like, eh, I'll take an $18 flyer on this thing.

But it totally works. It's like a very, again, it was the lowest level of repair. I just sprayed it in there. And I sprayed it on the outside and waited 24 hours and then sprayed it on the inside and waited 24 hours. But the fact that it's actually now functional is very, very satisfying.

How many broken G.I. Joe guys do you think you could fit in there? How many G.I. Joe pelvises could you fit in? Like 78, between 78 and 80. Like the way you spent $18 on a grown-up purchase. Of Flex Seal. I'm blowing $18.

Is Flex Seal a grown-up purchase?

Well, more than a broken G.I. Joe toy from 1982.

What I'm hearing is that eBay is purely a nostalgia play for you. The other thing, you signed up for it to buy Genevieve a Nintendo game. Yeah. And you're buying G.I. Joes on it. In fact, I bought a non-functional Subaru Outback, Andrew, like a man. Like an adult man.

Like an adult man. I'm looking to see. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. I bid on a different one, Snake Eyes. I bid on Snake Eyes version two, broken up into three pieces, but still had a gun. That thing, I was outbid. Why did Snake Eyes have a gun? He was a ninja. I don't know.

He's got a little gun there. Please, don't. Snake Eyes is not stooped to the level of common weaponry. Snake Eyes is a ninja.

Yeah, but he does have a little Uzi there. But anyway.

Storm Shadow? Was Storm Shadow the good one and Snake Eyes the bad one, or vice versa? One of them flipped teams.

I don't even want to answer your question, because I don't remember. I was very dialed into this as a kid I'm looking to see how come it doesn't show me my past how come did I just say how come I think how come is one of the funniest ungrammatical things to say I want to tell you Andrew

I don't want you to judge yourself too harshly because if you put snake eyes into the internet the number one thing that comes up is was snake eyes good or bad so many people have wondered snake eyes oh wait Oh, this is not even helpful. According to most reviews, Snake Eyes is generally considered to be a bad movie. So when they say, was Snake Eyes good or bad, they mean the reboot of a movie version of the ninja from G.I. Joe called Snake Eyes, not was the character good or bad. So go back to judging yourself.

Okay, so do you want to, this might be fun, and don't worry, it's not too long, but let's go over my order history with eBay.

And I'm going to actually log into Wheeler Jailer 2000 and see what he's been up to.

So, by the way, this is not my original eBay account. I forgot I had originally signed up all those years ago with a different email address, and that one is now null and void. So this is an account that I've had. Elon fan 732. This is an account I've had since 2018. So this is the modern era. um the last thing i bought before bidding on these gi joe uh characters is the earbuds that i used as a kid that i've talked about i believe on the show and i certainly talked about them a lot on a hey dummies video somebody had written in and said hey did you ever have a pair of headphones that you really adored in your life and i thought back to sitting on the bus with my walkman and these i don't know if you can see this luke they're still in a bag here these deep in my ebay history oh Oh, you don't have your thing up.

Oh, yeah, those Radio Shack.

These Radio Shack original earbuds, before we used the term earbuds, it was during the era where people still had a band on their headphones. But these were earbuds that came in this little plastic round thing that would wind the wire up in a very neatly.

And I listened to, I just remember sitting on the bus listening to the Beatles, listening to the first Nirvana records, like blasting those. So somebody asked us about headphones. I started talking about these things. I think I found them for $17, and so I bought them on eBay. The thing before that was a Comedy Bang Bang DVD, season two, I believe, because they don't have that anywhere online. And then Foundation and Empire. Those are those Asimov books. and I think I had some versions of them that were starting to fall apart and it was just driving me bananas. So I spent five bucks to get nicer versions of those in the same kind of imprint that I originally had them. Then McDonald's Rockin' Gold Cassettes, Luke. Remember that whole journey that I went on? I bought those things back in 2021. And then Hogwild Monkey Bender's magnetic bendable action figure toy with metal case. I bought those because Genevieve and I somehow inherited one of those magnetic monkeys. It's about the size of a, I don't know, it's like two inches tall. It's just made of coated wire, and it bends around. It looks like a little monkey, and it's got magnets. It's hands are magnets. And hands and feet. And somebody gave us one or something, and it always was on our refrigerator. It was on the top of our freezer. And Genevieve just had an inside joke about it. Sometimes she would move it, and I said, no, it goes on top of the freezer door because monkey likes to ride. And so every time we'd open the freezer door, the monkey would go on a ride. And it became this phrase we'd say all the time, monkey likes to ride. And then we lost it in a move. So as a little gift to Genevieve, I looked up, and I found the Hogwild Monkey Benders magnetic bendable action figures to replace our original one. And then a Walkman that I bought and didn't work, and they refunded my money.

Dirty monkey, no talk. Dirty monkey, make joke. What did she say? I can't remember.

Maria Bamford.

I'm kind of bummed out that the, it doesn't seem like my history on eBay goes back very far. I've got this, of course, previously mentioned water can. I have a watch that I bought my dad, a Timex Easy Reader Watch Men's 35mm Indiglo Silvertone Date Stretch Band A6. That's nice. He had the same exact watch and it broke on him and he was bummed and I was able to locate the exact same watch.

That's the thing with eBay, right? Half of my purchases are just things that I used to have that I got rid of and now I want again.

I have an Evergleam six-foot vintage aluminum Christmas tree that I bought. And then I had to find the vintage Spartus rotating color wheel, which is a thing that projects the color up on the tree. And then I don't even get pictures. I don't even get thumbnails anymore of my snuff tube pendant keychain with snuff spoon magnificent gift. I don't know what the hell that is. How about Levi's men, corduroy, Sherpa, parka, trucker, button-up jacket, regular fit Chino, and then, oh, this must have been something for Carrie, Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush Body Fragrance Mist. This was back in 2017. It was a different time. And then... That was also for your dad. Yep, and then also delivered in 2017 was a D35 Bosch Mass Airflow Meter Sensor GL Volvo. Did I buy a part for a Volvo? What year is that? This was in 2017. It was delivered on Valentine's Day. What is it again? Save this whole description. I'm going to Google it. D35 Bosch Mass Airflow Meter Sensor MAF 240DLGL Volvo

Okay, I didn't get all those numbers. It doesn't matter. Let's see how close we get. What is that? It's just a car part. Yeah, it's just a car part that I've never seen before. For a Volvo? Dude, this sells right now for $1,100 on eBay. Wait, really?

yeah were you into some shady shit were you like i was i had i was running a volvo chop shop for a while right when i was between podcasts no i have no idea other than it must have been i mean i've never owned a volvo that i remember and also i don't ever work on my cars because i don't know what i'm doing it must have been for somebody else i i think was it for sean maybe Sean had a Volvo

What year is this?

It was delivered on Valentine's Day But it doesn't say What the Again, it's sold by ALLimo2000 A lot of people using 2000 In the handle on eBay This must have been For somebody else I have a vague memory of this Somebody that I knew, I can't remember who it was Had a car, probably a Volvo That was having a problem And I think I was trying to be

nice and find the replacement part but i cannot remember who that person was it literally might

have been sean that's interesting did sean drive a volvo he did drive for many years oh yeah okay that but makes sense well i don't want to put him on front street or whoever your friend is but like i'm looking at this thing this thing is over a grand on ebay now i'm assuming you did not pay

that back in the day you know it says that i paid 34.99 okay that that's way more in line of

friendship i was gonna say yeah no no if you're buying your friends like things that are over a thousand dollars i'd like to get on that list from that era for a thousand dollars easily yeah no i'm

kind of bummed because i would love to go way back into the like you know 2005 of what was i buying

on ebay i was a big ebay guy were you but yeah it is addictive i gotta say like that thing oh well you were starting to say before that maybe i'm being had by some sort of a bot or something that's driving up. What is that?

It is a program. Well, to snipe is to basically come in at the last second and barely outbid the high bid as opposed to sitting there and trading bids and running it up. So in other words, if we're bidding on the same water can and we're both sitting there going after each other and so you make it $5, I make it $6, you make it $7, we run the price up. If you've just put in a bid at $5 and I leave it alone until the auction is ending in 30 seconds and then I make it $6. You don't really have the chance to re-raise it and I don't have to pay $40 for it. I'm just paying a little, that's called sniping. And I think eBay had to do a whole thing where they had to try to create some technology around stopping these sniping programs because, of course, people had figured out that you could just put AI on the case and get a sweet deal on a watering can.

Well, I got to say, to wrap up my part of this conversation i am actually kind of hoping somebody just outbids me i i've been in that position when somebody when i got an email that said you've been outbid i had a visceral reaction to that and i said you don't outbid me and so then i i upped my bid a bit but now you regret it what am i doing and i said up to 18 and then i looked to see if i could take that back and it doesn't look like i can so there's a and right now like i said i'm the leading bitter at $17 but this is not the spirit with which i entered this project i was just thinking about the fact that i have 78 o-rings and i was like i'll just i'll do it was fun to fix those guys i'll fix some more but this is not sustainable i'm not i'm not a gi joe collector i have no intention of recreating my gi joe collection as a real american hero i'm not a real american hero i like i like uh pork chop sandwiches so the the thing is this summer one of my favorite things to do is go to garage sales with genevieve we don't do it enough um and i think that this is the type of thing where if you're going on ebay you're already going where the collectors are so everything is already priced for collectors what i need to do is just keep an eye out that's the fun thing you keep an eye out you go to this garage sale you go to that garage sale somebody's mom threw a whole bunch of gi joe things in a bucket and said you can have the whole thing for five bucks because Their pelvises are broken, and I say, I have just a thing for that. You need a barn find. Yeah.

I don't know that term, but it sounds about right. It's like, you know, for classic cars and boats and things, it's like the idea is that some old farmer put something in a barn years ago. Like, he put a Camaro in there or a cool, you know, lap-strake Owens Marine boat and then passed away, and now his, you know, children are just trying to clean that barn out. That's what you want. Exactly. That of G.I. Joe's. It's not like you don't want to be in an environment like eBay where, like you said, all the collectors are already there running the prices up.

Exactly. And this is exactly what I said to Genevieve yesterday. We were sort of chatting about this. And I said something like, yeah, or maybe like estate sales if we go to estate sales. And Genevieve's like, oh, yeah, now this is something you don't know about Genevieve. And maybe we should just have her on the show at some point again to update us on her kind of online life because I think we've talked with her about this before. she's gotten really big into the online estate sale auctions and she's i did not know this even was a thing she's been buying and selling and i think she doesn't tell me about a lot of it because i tease her about it and i am a little bit worried about for me it's more about it's not it's never about money it's just about space i don't like clutter and i don't like more and more things

well you're operating under a one-in-one-out policy regarding your coffee mug every right

You're really trying to drive a wedge between our family.

Why am I trying to destroy your lifelong relationship?

But for me, like, you know, I don't, you know, whatever. The money stuff is not an issue. But if Genevieve wants to spend money on whatever she wants to spend money on, it's her damn money. But I don't love the feeling of just bringing a bunch of things into the house without having a plan for them. And you can start to go down that line when you start talking about, like, my mother.

is far down that line yeah genevieve got like a little she got like this embroidered thing that

says 10 rules for being a seahawks fan in this house or no your folks have something along the lines of that what am i mean seahawks parking only there was something in the basement that was more embroidered when we were doing the show from the basement a couple years ago there was i feel like it was a seahawks thing it was like 10 rules for dating my seahawks daughter or something I can't remember what it was. But anyway, it sounds like what she's doing, though, is she's doing a lot of these auctions and then reselling stuff. She's like looking for – she's been very into ceramics lately. So she's been doing research on various ceramics. I don't know anything about this because, again, I don't think she likes talking to me about it too much because she knows I'm going to be like, what are we going to do with this? But I think she's been learning about them and then looking for them where they're undervalued, buying them and realizing, oh, I can turn this around. And she said that's sort of the trick with an estate sale is if you're going to some sort of sale and it's already for a bunch of ceramics lovers, everything is going to be very expensive. But what you want to do is find an estate sale that is mostly something else, but they've also thrown in a couple of these things because they're just trying to get rid of this stuff. And so it's a little bit of like Pearls Before Swine or like a Gary Hill Jr. joke in front of Rick Riz, which I was just so – he cannot hang.

Are you talking about the Mariners radio team that we'll be listening to all season?

Now when I think of Pearls Before Swine, I was so mad the other day. I just kept thinking about it because I was listening to one of the spring training games and I love Gary Hill Jr. when he can like yuck it up with Aaron Goldsmith and they're on the same wavelength and they're just nerds and they can make a joke and God bless Rick Riz. He can, I mean, a Gary Hill Jr. joke in front of Rick Riz is just one of the saddest things. It's like looking at a, like, it's like looking at a milkshake that you've been desiring for six months, only the other person doesn't want it and they just leave it in the sun to curdle. It is just he cannot riff at all. And Gary Hill Jr. is ironic that Riz can't riff. Riz has no Riz. He has no, I hate to say it, he has no Riz. And I just don't know how I'm going to get through a season of just like watching Gary Hill Jr. try to have a little bit of fun and just have a die.

Imagine the Mariners are playing the White Sox. And they're in a part of Chicago. and you are wondering as a listener is it north regionally is it east directionally what part of chicago are we in like what side who's gonna tell you that what side gary hill jr uh no thank you that's rico riz's job i don't want to beat up on riz i really don't

like he's a bit of an institution yes i love him in theory you know but like i don't know like i just i love goldsmith and gary hill jr they were just so on the same wavelength and this is one of those things where i understand they probably want to put they did the shake up and they're putting all their well their gold talent on the tv side that makes sense but they're kind of messing up

some chemistry a little bit here yeah once again us the radio people the radio appreciators uh are are getting short shrift because i think the idea must be the mariners must make a lot more obviously off of the TV broadcast and the radio broadcast, they must think, who's even listening to this? And it's like us while we're mowing the lawn, you and me.

Yeah, and they want people, you know, we're still like in the fallout of like the local sports television broadcast deal kind of falling or getting, you know, more expensive in the cable tier system. And so anyway, the whole ownership is freaking out about not getting enough subscribers to their root sports network. They're going broke. So obviously they want to do whatever they can to get people off of the radio and into the TV product. So anyway, I... Let me ask you an important question,

and this has nothing to do with the fact that we're doing our job right now and has everything to do with me trying to understand something. Are they broadcasting the spring training games?

On TV or radio? On television. Only select few. You have to look it up. Okay, good.

Phew. Because part of this whole Fubo... I saw John Sklaroff shouting Fubo out online yesterday from our account saying, Guys, we're just doing free ads for you. Could you make them not free ads? Right. But one of the reasons that I got on that was because it allegedly has the Mariners, but I've never tested the theory. I have a recording set up now. Like, it will record Mariners games, but I'm not seeing very many Mariners games.

Did you see the first one was on Root, right? Yes. I think it was definitely on the website. And then, yeah, the other day when they had their first game, I was looking it up. Because not all of the fields in Arizona have cameras. They were playing the Brewers yesterday or the day before, I think it was the day before, and the Brewers don't have cameras at their facility. like it would be literally impossible to broadcast it why does that feel inherently milwaukee brewers

to me is it because of the bob uecker factor like how do they have a stadium that doesn't even have the capacity for filming the games well i mean the brewers actually have been good in the last few years yeah and i like it doesn't even really make sense as a joke but it just it's funny to me that they would you'd think that every uh spring training stadium would be equipped to film things

i just think that it's sort of evolved maybe in the future it will but i just don't think that there's been that much of an emphasis on spring training as much in the past as far as a broadcast thing. Well, that's good. That's actually a relief

to me because it means I'm not missing these games. I've not been sold a bill of good by Fubo

yet. They're all streaming on the MLB app, and I think they're playing them all on 710 up here. I don't know if you get

710. I get it on Sirius.

Okay, yeah. So you can listen to the games. And I was kind of... I love Riz's love of The south side of Chicago The south side of Chicago

Teachers impacting not for a day but for a lifetime

The famous Brewers broadcaster you just mentioned Oh Bob Euchre And we did a whole thing on Euchre Of course Euchre is beloved But I was so bummed I know it's just spring training But the only thing Riz talked about For the first two, two and a half innings of the game Was Euchre stories He was barely following the game at all And go down that memory lane Absolutely But keep that for later in the game I mean, the early innings of a spring training game is where you're more likely to have more interesting play, because that's when the star players are going to get a little bit of action, right? And I just couldn't believe it. He was just doing—he didn't even care about the game at all. All he wanted to do was talk about how much he loved you.

You faintly hear a ball being hit by a bat, and you're like, wait, what just happened?

It was a really disappointing broadcast the other day, I'll tell you that much.

Yeah, I listened to one, I listened to like three innings of a game, and it was, I can't remember who the starter was. It was one of, you know, I think it might have been, who's Logan Gilbert? I think it might have been Logan Gilbert.

That would have been the Brewers game a couple of days ago, yeah.

And, but he had just like, he started the inning, but he didn't finish the inning, and then I think that they cleared the bases.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was it, that was it.

There was like a guy, a guy fielded the ball behind his back and threw it over the first baseman's head.

It was like some picture getting his very first turn. I can't remember his name. It was his first time ever.

And I was like, all right, well, that's about enough of that for the moment.

They turned it around, though. They ended up getting 11 runs or something and winning that game. I think the Mariners have gotten between 10 and 11 runs every game for the past four games. Save it. I know. That's what everybody's saying. Luke Arkins is saying, don't get your hopes up. This is not going to translate.

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle. On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody rattle, dazzle.

Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These wonderful, generous folks are supporting TBTL with a dazzling donation of dough. It's the only way this thing can happen. Five days a week. Otherwise, we'd be calling a spring training game for the, what level? Not even single A. I don't think we could even cut it at single A. I don't think so.

Could I call a fish sticks game? I think we have a listener, Brandon.

Haven't you been invited to throw out the first pitch at us? The first fish, I believe.

The first fish, I love it. I believe Brandon, I don't know if he still listens to this show, but he's invited us out there. I did go to my first fish sticks game last summer. It was an absolute blast.

We need to thank, I think we were talking about, what were we saying on the show the other day?

I made a joke about how, not a joke, I was talking about how East Coast sports radio tends to be a little bit more sharp elbowed. Oh, you referred to it as, like I said, the East Barbs or the Barbs of the East or something. And you talked about the Barber of the West.

Yes. That's right. Our friend, San Jose Barbie, a.k.a. Barbro West. Barbara, a.k.a. Barbie, has been a part of this show since the radio days, if I remember right. And I probably said this last time, but I want to say that Barbara was one of the first kind of engaged listeners from outside of the Seattle area that I remember. And I just remember thinking, I can't believe we have a listener all the way down in San Jose, California. San Jose, Barbie. That's right. She says, hello to my favorite business boys. Can't believe another year has gone by and I still haven't thought of anything clever to say. That makes two of us, Barbie. I just continue to be amazed at how long this wacky podcasting relationship has lasted. I've been listening to these shenanigans for nearly 16 years now. And since I usually listen when I'm out hiking, certain trails make me think of certain shows. What's more peaceful than hiking the beautiful new Almaden Trail while thinking about the For Loco and McRib episode?

Can you tell me about that?

remember that i think i do i think we drank four locos and ate mcrib okay right there in the name i think it was when the four loco was maybe having a moment in that it was being banned

by certain law enforcement because it still had alcohol in it at the time i believe well

well yes and i believe it still does the thing about four loco is four loco was just an energy drink now does it still have booze in it oh maybe it's been downgraded i guess i don't know at that time it had a lot of alcohol and what was happening was because of its combination of caffeine and alcohol, people, I think somebody had maybe died from it or somebody had had a real bad medical reaction because the caffeine tricked your body into, it's sort of like doing a speedball, right? It would be like having a lot of alcohol and like a lot of cocaine where your body didn't realize how drunk it was because of the upper of

the caffeine. It's like a Red Bull and vodka sort of, by the way, yes, you're absolutely right. They're still, I don't know, I thought they made some sort of changed and i thought they had ditched the booze part of it but no they're still an alcoholic

beverage and how the mcrib was part of this i don't really know except they must have brought the mcrib back i'm surprised we're having a shamrock shake with all this i'm thinking about

getting a shamrock shake by the way do you mind if i just interject yes it's uh it's that time of year isn't it and i haven't had one i don't think since my youth and sometimes i think about i'm like oh maybe when it's springtime i'll get myself a shamrock shake uh does it probably a mint i think it's minty that's the thing luke i don't even know if i want it like i never like

we're just talking about that mcdonald's i rarely go to mcdonald's a breakfast sandwich and a

shamrock shake i think the last time i had a milkshake was when i was driving up from um the tb telethon down in your neck of the woods how long of a drive is it from your place to seattle two hours two plus hours and i remember i was getting really really drowsy so i pulled off the highway went through a mcdonald's drive-thru drive-thru luke got myself a milkshake that's the Last time I got a milkshake, I don't even know if I like shamrock shakes, but I just have it in my head that, like, oh, it's time to get a shamrock shake, and I'm going to reintroduce this into my life. I don't know why.

Will you do that and give us a full report, please? Yeah, let me make a note. Because I don't think I've ever had one. I'm guessing that they're minty because they're green, or, you know, they're green-coated. Yeah, I think they're minty. But I've never actually had one. uh barbie says how could i hike the hacienda trail aka cardiac hill without fondly remembering andrew's terrified rooftop adjacent screams during the blue angels episode i mean i was also screaming on the rooftop a little bit of that yeah you were not rooftop adjacent you were rooftop i eventually

there's photos to prove it yes very cool looking photos uh i hope you keep doing this forever or

until we are all too senile to remember how to operate our phones. Please, Barbara, please don't manifest that fraud. We need you all to continue operating your phones, both to listen to the show and to donate to the show.

Can I give you, you and I were just talking about this off air. Sometimes when we look for old segments we did on Cairo Radio, whether you with TBTL back in the day or us with Luke and, was it the ross and burbank show um sometimes we can't find the audio for it but we find the blog posts that accompanied the audio way back in the day and on april 5th 2011 you wrote this blog post and it is signed luke burbank i don't i already don't like i won't i won't read the

whole thing but i promise you i use one term that is probably objectionable now like as in inappropriate and another that's just basic like i probably said uh i don't even awesome sauce or something it says dear penthouse forum i never thought i'd be writing never thought this would happen i thought jenna was gonna do this it says i can't believe i have to write this blog post

the headline again this is april 2011 friday on tbtl david sedaris tells the funniest joke you've ever heard today we catch up with a good show yeah it sounds great right um and so you're talking about his latest offering the amazing squirrel seeks chipmunk i never heard of that one luke That one skipped past my radar. But then it says, also, Jen and I will roll. I'm skipping ahead a couple of graphs here. Jen and I will roll out a new segment called News Food, in which we will eat and drink stuff that's in the news. Friday, we'll eat a McRib and chase it down with some Four Loko Four Reels. See you at High Deuce. Four Reels. I don't like that. Yeah, it was period, then Four Reels, period. See you at High Deuce. I'm proud of that. Hey, better than awesome, Saul. Welcome to Food News Today. That's why you have Food News Today.

Probably. huh you know what that would have been when we were no longer on the radio radio that's when we were doing the podcast but still under the eight banner okay yeah okay sure a how do you use that word it's like a e g i g i s ages of cairo like we were still there we were splitting revenue with them for some advertising but um but we did not have a time slot if i remember because i remember doing that david sedaris interview in like a production room and then i also remember uh david sedaris mailing me a postcard afterwards oh yeah which i was very uh excited about yeah that's right

because you and because i would have started on tbtl in 2012 ish i think so maybe about a year after this or so and we were still recording often in cairo uh-huh yeah not exclusively but we still like had the option to do it there so yeah you guys were still recording there for a while you know i never realized that ages it means like the backing or support that's what it means Of a particular person. Burbs for the win. That was kind of what I meant. Which makes sense. There's that- Insurance company? No, it's like kind of assisted living. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called Aegis Living, and that makes sense.

You're thinking of Shag.

It's support.

You're thinking of the place where Lupinella bones all of the retirees.

That is, I guess, and Shag is actually supported, right? That's some sort of supportive housing, I believe.

I think it has some element of, I guess it would be maybe Medicare, Medicaid. Yeah, something. But I don't think it's strictly that. Okay, gotcha.

But anyway, yeah, so that makes sense. Age is living. It's support. We're supporting folks who live here. That's great.

Yes. Maestro?

That sounded brisk. Well, I just really was hoping that you had one thing to say so we didn't end on my stupid age is living. On your mark. On your mark. I'm sorry. I didn't. Any joke. Any joke.

Look who it is. It's Christine Blake, who's in New Malden, Southwest, London, United Kingdom. One of my favorite places to have just been. That's right. One of your favorite places to eat fish. I've just been to a lot of places, Andrew, but I've most recently just been to London. It was spectacular. Oh, this is, Christine, our London-based Scottish 10. I believe each year when we thank Christine, I ask her, would you mind just reading the phone book and sending us a voice memo?

And she hasn't yet, so maybe we should stop requesting.

You know, we'll just take the money, actually. In lieu of reading the phone book, we will take the financial support. Your London-based Scottish 10 here. Glad to be supporting the podcast for another year. The past year has been a difficult one. My 11 was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer, and although he's doing okay, it has led to a lot of adjustments, as you can imagine, and meant that I've been a bit of an intermittent listener, especially in the last few months. Well, Christine, you know, life, as they say, be lifen for you. So I really hope you're taking care of yourself and taking care of your partner and focusing on the important things. TBTL not being one of them. I'm hoping to get back into regular listening now that we're in the new year, no matter how awful that new year might be. Try it over here, Christine. Listen, the U.K. was a merciful break. I told you, like, I went in and watched the U.K. Supreme Court, and I don't even know what these people are up to. They might also suck, but they just felt better than being in the U.S. Everything felt better, like, you know. I know you had a whole Boris Johnson situation, but you got rid of him.

You know how you were asking if the Supreme Court in the United States also has a gift shop? Because you stopped by the gift shop there in the U.K. We heard from two different listeners, I believe, who both had the same knickknack from the U.S. Supreme Court gift shop or the same person. Oh, is it bodily autonomy? Oh, no, no. They don't do that there. That is pretty good. Oh, God damn it. What did they get? Anyway, sorry. There is a Supreme Court gift shop here in the U.S. And it looks like one of the more popular items is a pencil. And it's like your traditional looking pencil, except when you get up to the top of the eraser part, it's like a T, like it's a little, like it's a gavel, and there's an eraser on either side. If you can sort of picture it, it's like the pencil is like a pencil with two erasers on the top, and it's like a little gavel that you can pound, and it says the U.S. Supreme Court.

They should have some sort of Nina Totenberg-related thing, like a Nina Totenbag or whatever there, because I feel like she has done more than any other media personality to really put them on the map.

Yes, which actually some people had called her out for her close connections to some—remember it was her—remember, like, after Ruth Bader Ginsburg died for a second, I was blanking on her name, and I'm like, you can't blank on this one, Walsh. You can't, you simply can't blink on this one.

You know, the thing is, Andrew, one of the things you need to know when doing the podcast is when it's time to quit.

I think about that all the time. But, I mean, if it could change anything, I would resign right now, Luke. But do you remember, though, like she had a pretty close relationship and she was both covering the court and had a close relationship with Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

of called out on that really so probably feels like the most left-wing critique i've ever heard like do we think nina totenberg was a bader ginsburg apologist because i mean she might have been i guess did she cover her in a way that was notable i don't know that anybody that was notable that she knew her it just feels like lefties getting up early to find a problem with

to fight amongst themselves yeah i don't i don't i've told you basically everything i know about that I didn't go digging deep into, but I just remember I just could see a world in which maybe the Supreme Court celebrating one of the people who cover the Supreme Court might seem a little bit weird

you're right, that would be over the line, but it would probably do good business, they'd sell a lot of those figurines or whatever it would be back to Christine's message back to the UK, back to London, UK, where Christine, our Scottish 10 is she says, a big message from me to the 10s listen to your body, and when something doesn't feel right get yourself checked out it could have been so much worse if mr b hadn't done that i wonder if she has to call her husband mr b because they're in england i think that's a british thing the mr part of it the sort of properness of it you mean it feels like a downton abbey kind of a thing to me mr b i'm gonna retire they got mr bean over there they certainly do have that i mean we've got mr clean they have mr bean yeah do you think mr clean is

republican coded you ever watch the earliest commercials of mr bean they are or mr bean mr clean they are so frightening like these old black and white commercials was he always bald with the earring yes and i believe i could be wrong about this i can't remember if he's animated in the beginning or if he's actually portrayed by some sort of huge actor but i believe they're very scratchy old black and white commercials where there's like a woman scrubbing the floor on her hands and knees and then suddenly this just monster of a man appears like an apparition in front of her with a very very deep voice are you googling this i'm trying to give you time to google this in case you have any interest in this or we can just move right back to christine's

message i'm typing in original mr clean oh yeah he looks like telly savalis yeah it is a man right it's not a cartoon no it's a it's a human man yeah and it's and uh let's see here i'm going to I believe his voice was very deep. Once we get done with this commercial for Daredevil, we are going to play you a little bit of this. Okay, I don't know what the audio is going to be like, but this is Mr. Clean live and in person is how this is described. And it looks like it's one of the original commercials. Here we go. Oh, wow. Yeah, no. Scary? Why is there no audio? I can just tell you, the visuals are terrifying. It's a dimly lit hallway. Yeah, is there a woman cleaning? A woman is on the floor cleaning, and Mr. Clean is approaching her in a way that feels like this is the opening to an episode of Dexter. Right?

Like, it's really ominous. Does it look like the audio is bad, or we just haven't gotten to the dialogue yet?

I think the audio is bad. I'll needle drop it here, but I have a feeling. oh yeah it's something crazy with the audio but the woman is again very very um how do i put it she doesn't seem glad that mr clean is there and i can't blame her no he is an imposing presence in the commercial that i remember well christine says uh just to reiterate uh if your body is telling you something and it doesn't feel right get yourself checked out it could have been so much worse for mr b had he not done that love you guys what you do is so important well christine we are so glad to hear that you and mr b are doing well and it's a very very good message andrew are you listening to your body are you i've been through it dude you've been i've been they put me up on uh they put me up on the jacks and uh looked at the whole undercarriage i am going

to the doctor on monday and because i have to get a check-in like every three months or so to look at my blood and inflammation and various things um but i am going to mention how things smell funny i do think it's related to that medication because i noticed that yesterday was another bad smell day for me and that means something different than what it used to mean um and i realized oh is it always happening the day after i take that medication oh that is the strongest so two weeks so far would seem to show that pattern i don't think it's a big deal i don't think there's anything to fix about it but i'm a little bit worried because like i said when you type in things are starting to smell funny everybody's like you have a brain tumor online that's what everybody says so i'm hoping that i don't have to get an mri or anything yeah let's go to the doctor let's do what mr b did let's go to the doctor let's listen to our body yeah and i'm gonna get that i'm gonna get the uh the the the wheels rolling on the colonoscopy stuff so excellent well thank you

christine uh for supporting tbtl we really do appreciate thank you all

Also, San Jose Barbie. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. Andrew, this is the lowest level of Top Story, and I'm only going to take two seconds with this, because I want to play a little sports nickname game with you. Oh, yeah, let me see if I can get that prepared. But how big are you on the wilting of kale into your soup?

Oh, occasionally I will get like a wedding, like an Italian wedding suit that has maybe that. Or maybe that's not kale, is it? No. That's not kale, I don't think. It's some kind of a green, right? It's a green, yeah. So no, I don't think I've ever had kale in my soup.

It's amazing. Last night I was watching, because I'm high-minded, I was watching the Netflix True Crime Scott Peterson docuseries because I really needed to get to the bottom of that situation. I actually kind of did because I don't know how plugged into the news you were back in 2002 when that thing went down, but it was a huge story. And then there was recently, quite sadly, Scott Peterson's wife, Lacey Peterson, who was pregnant at the time, went missing and her body was found, as was the fetus. And he is in jail now for having done this. there's no logical explanation other than he did it but like a year maybe a year ago there was this like believe it or not there's like an off-brand innocence project there's like an innocence project that doesn't have the uh imprimatur of the like barry sheck version of the innocence project and they were coming out with some stuff that like scott peterson didn't do it and it was a very annoying media story because people were basically saying the innocence project is saying that that scott peterson is innocent usually when the innocence project says somebody's innocent it's because they're innocent but this was like a non-sanctioned innocence project or whatever so i kind of wanted to re-familiarize myself with the with the story and be like was did he maybe not do it and the i can't see any universe in which this person didn't commit this crime based on the evidence that was presented but uh midway through i started feeling kind of hungry and i thought you know i got i've got this bag of kale i don't feel like eating a full-on kale salad but but I do think it'd be good for me to have some kale. And I thought, you know what would be yummy is if it was wilted into a soup of some kind. And so, I was very proud of this. I just, like, without any kind of recipe, I had some celery in the crisper, and I had some, you know what I'm really big on right now is the pre-peeled garlic, have you ever messed with that?

No, I've seen it before, it's somewhat tempting, but I usually just buy a ball of garlic.

It just is such a time saver. I was using Jarlick, and you and everybody else was saying, particularly Becca was saying, that's just terrible. Don't use that.

Oh, I don't know if I ever said that's terrible. Oh, really? I just don't use it.

I thought people who are good, I think of you as a good cook, and people who are good cooks, I think, frown upon Jarlick.

I don't know. I don't, I also shy away from that in the same way you shy away from calling yourself a vegetarian, because I'm somebody who late in life is starting to learn my way around the kitchen, but I think I'm not a good cook. But anyway, go ahead.

Well, so this pre-peeled garlic, to me, is the perfect solution. because you've cut out like 60% of the, if not more, of the kind of prep time, but you're still getting fresh garlic, which is, you know, the goal. So I chopped up this garlic. I threw some, I had half of an onion somewhere in the back of the veggie drawer, which was still decent. So I got my aromatics going, threw them into the big, you know, pot, and threw some olive oil in there and just kind of got a nice little base going. and then i had a bunch of still from my colonoscopy low sodium veggie broth which i made high sodium veggie broth by putting a bunch of salt in it and um and then i had some carrots and stuff and i basically just threw a bunch of stuff from the fridge into this broth and again i applied a liberal amount of salt and then when it was just coming to a nice boil and kind of the flavors were all melding i just like threw a bunch of kale in there and it just wilted just enough so then i'm eating this very hearty um soup that's like really you know savory and tasty but it's got this kind of like mostly wilted kale in it which is turns out the best way to eat kale like i'm not always a huge fan of it in a salad i was like and again i didn't follow a recipe i know this is not i said at the top of the show people were going to be unimpressed when they heard me describe this and they are but i was proud of myself because i was hungry i wanted to eat something healthy i wanted to eat it in a way that felt more satisfying than just throwing it into a salad bowl and i executed it and it was delicious and you just like kind of you know through caution

i improvised and improvised yeah i'm really really bad at that especially anything kind of soup based like that so yeah that's that's that's squad goals very proud i was very proud of myself our squad has very pedestrian

goals. No, we are nothing if not managed in our squad

goals as a squad. Right, exactly.

Okay, let's talk about sports nicknames, but not before I've gotten the sports nickname theme here for you, Andrew. Okay, great.

I've never heard that before. It's pretty short. Is that the version you have, or

did you just kill it? No, it's the first one that came up. That's round ball rock eight seconds. I also have. basketball basketball basketball i want to dunk it throw me the ball i want to dunk it can we do it one time without the lyrics uh my gut says no it's based on a poem my brother wrote

is my favorite line from that sketch

i mean the revisionist history around tim robinson in our age cohort i think and gender cohort is intense in other words i feel like everything the very the few things that he got onto the air at snl now are like canon for me but i don't know if that's because they're so great or because i just

like love tim robinson so exactly like the now that we all know who he is and love him people go back and find oh well also did you see this appearance of his on like you know seth meyer's show in 2005 or whatever and they always hit but anyway you and i were talking on the show the other day somehow we were talking about sports i mean i i was just thinking before we were talking about estate sales and like mid thought i switched the conversation to the mariners so how we ended up talking about sports was probably my fault in some way but i love it when you mention players nicknames it just gives me complete delight players that usually i've never even heard of

before. I believe I was talking about poker and Greg Fossilman-Ramer. Oh, that's right. And Chris Moneymaker, which is not a nickname, his actual name, and some of the other poker players with, oh, Texas Dolly, a.k.a. Doyle Brunson.

But I do think I specifically said, oh, I'd like, I think I somehow turned that into, like, you do that with sports guys a lot, too, and somebody should send in... Vinny the Microwave Johnson comes to mind. Sure, because he heats things up, you said, right? That's right. Quickly. Yes.

Detroit Piston. But anyway,

so our listener rolled, friend of the show world um sent in some lists of and this is just some like kind of quick list so i don't have this prepared as an actual quiz or anything like this i'm going to try giving you some of these names and you tell me if you know the nickname i think some of them are going to be one of these lists even i know the nicknames of so i'm going to avoid those i don't know if i corrected this

at the time or the day after but i was wrong about one of those nicknames that i was throwing out recently regarding the Sonics. I think it was when I got that basketball from listener Mike. B-b-b-b-b-b-basketball? B-b-b-b-b-b-basketball. Give me because I'm going to get the basketball. I think I was calling Sam Perkins Big Paper Daddy, but that was incorrect. Ricky Pierce was Big Paper Daddy because Ricky Pierce had signed a lucrative contract. Oh, paper. Sam Big Paper Daddy, and Sam Perkins was Big Smooth. And I was calling Sam Perkins both Big Smooth and Big Paper Daddy. And that was incorrect. That's pretty embarrassing.

I want to apologize to the listeners. That was cringing. I was cringing. Yeah, it was major cringe. Okay, so I'm going to give you some easy ones first. Frank Thomas.

Frank Thomas. Mr. Nugenics.

The Big Hurt. The Big Hurt, yep. The Big Hurt. Yep. You know what McGuire and Canseco were called together. The Bash Brothers. Of course. Ortiz, David Ortiz of the Red Sox. Big Poppy. Big Poppy. Now, let's move over to this other list, which I think is going to be maybe a little bit more challenging here. How about, although it's probably just my own perspective, how about Elbert Woods? Elbert Woods? Elbert Woods. Elbert. E-L-B-E. I don't think I've ever heard of this person. I think you know him only by his nickname, although I could be wrong.

Oh, okay. Elbert Woods. Can you tell me the sport? Okay.

And I had to look this up. I don't know who this person is, but I feel like this is something maybe you've mentioned before. I think he's, I looked this up just moments ago, and I think he played for the Bengals in 88 to 91.

Oh, Icky Woods. Icky Woods. Yes, exactly. The Icky Shuffle.

Oh, was that a dance, I take it?

He had a dance he would do, the Icky Shuffle.

You want to know something about me? I told Genevieve the other day at a realization, I don't like any, even if it's like a song from the eras that I enjoy, like oldies, I don't like songs about dances don't tell me how to twist again like we do like any song that's like do the whatever just did it last summer that was so fun it was fun but I don't like songs that tell me how to dance dance my own way which is sitting in this chair watching everybody else dance uh-huh how about Daryl Johnston I don't know who that is strawberry moose oh wait oh oh yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a fullback, Moose Johnston. Moose Johnston. Was he a...

A Dallas Cowboy?

I have to Google each of these on the fly. This is just a text list I have. He's a commentator now. Sorry. Oh, okay. Gotcha. So Daryl Johnston was moose. Yep. What about Russell, Maryland? 1983 to 1999. I don't know what sport this is. I'll try to Google. Russell, Maryland. Let me see here. Russell, Maryland was an American former football player. He played for, it looks like he played for Dallas. Was his main thing 10 years with Dallas?

Russell, Maryland. Dallas Cowboy Russell, Maryland.

Does it ring a bell to you at all?

Uh-uh. I'm sure when you say it, I'm going to recommend it.

Well, if we trust Roald, and you know what? I do.

I do. The kitchen. I trust him implicitly. The kitchen. Oh, the kitchen because, yes. Okay, I remember this. Because you had William the Refrigerator Perry, who was a Chicago Bear, and the idea was this guy was so big, he was the kitchen. He wasn't just the refrigerator. I like that. Yeah, he wasn't just the refrigerator. He was the whole kitchen.

But how do you feel about that? When your nickname is a response to somebody else's nickname, it kind of, you know, it's kind of like Pepsi trying to go after Coke. And you're like, can you just do your own thing instead of mentioning the competition?

Keep William the Refrigerator Perry's name out of your mouth. That's what I'm saying.

And it's something that I say a lot, actually. Okay. Oh, it looks like these are divided up by sport. How about NBA? Kevin Garnett. Oh, Kevin Garnett.

Oh, shoot. I can tell you the high school he graduated from Farragut in Detroit That's not listed here That doesn't help Kevin Garnett's nickname In basketball

He's the one you were telling me the other day He's the one in Uncut Gems

He is the one in Uncut Gems I bet you when you say it I am going to be mad at myself for not remembering What is Kevin Garnett's nickname?

The Big Ticket The Big Ticket

Is that ring a bell? Ish. I think, you know, part of it is the rise of Kevin Garnett, I think, sort of maps over the demise of the Seattle basketball team. Uh-huh. Not to offer that as an excuse. But, like, I think Kevin Garnett is not the era of NBA. And someone's going to email and say, look, the Sonics were there for eight years of Kevin Garnett's career. It's very possible. But I just, Kevin Garnett, I don't know a lot about.

So I'm looking at the role did give us the years here. So I'm going to try to keep that in mind. this person played in the NBA from 1999 to 2010. Are you ready for this? I'll give it a shot. And I don't know if I'm saying the name correctly. Rafer Alston?

Oh, Rafer Alston, yes. Rafer Alston? Rafer Alston was called Skip to My Lou.

You're absolutely right. Genevieve stole my belt, so I can't get rid of what it is.

There it is. Skip to My Lou. Rafer Alston has a very interesting story. He was a streetball guy. He was part of the And One streetball tour who was so good that he actually got into the real NBA.

Let's see here. He was named Skip to My Lou after the American folk song and Partner Stealing Dance with the same name. We know you don't like those kind of songs, Andrew. Look, I feel like I said Partner Stealing Dance, Skip to My Lou, because you're changing in the official dance. You're sort of changing your partners. I don't think I realized that about Skip to My Lou.

Yeah, Skip to My Lou, my darling.

So he was associated with the Bucs. Is that right, the Milwaukee Bucs? I think he played for the Bucs.

I also thought that he had a, because he was a streetball guy. I want to say from New York, but I thought he would sort of skip down the court as he was bringing the ball up. I think that was kind of where he picked up Skip to My Lou.

Charles Barkley.

Charles Barkley. This is a long one. Does not ring a bell. I am not a role model.

Because that was his famous commercial, right? That's right, yes. The round mound of rebound, right? Exactly right. The round mound of rebound. Steve Francis. Steve Francis.

Stevie Francis, the franchise.

The franchise, that's a great name. Yeah, he was out of Maryland. Oh, that's wonderful.

Steve Franchise, that kid was, man, he could play. He was a Houston Rocket, I believe.

Here is one I probably mispronounced, but I'll do my best. Is it Damon Stoudemire?

Damon Stoudemire. Stoudemire, so cool. He was an Arizona Wildcat who played for the famous Portland Jailblazers. That was a period of time where most of the players were in. The Jailblazers. The Jailblazers had a lot of legal trouble. And I don't know what Damon Stoudemire's nickname was. Mighty Mouse. Oh, Mighty Mouse. He was a small guy. Does that ring a bell? Yes, it does. Okay.

It does a little bit. How about Harold Miner? 92 to 96. This seems like you're going to have.

Probably Harold Miner. Harold Miner. Was he a baseball player? No.

This is still under NBA. NBA. And also the nickname seems... Problematic? No, the nickname goes right to what we were talking about before, about when your nickname is a reference to somebody else in your same sport oh okay okay so this is basketball so he's

a reference to uh his nickname is a reference to another famous nba Yes, probably the most famous NBA player of all time. Hair Jordan? Baby Jordan. Although Hair Jordan would be amazing.

What was his name again? Harold Miner?

Yeah.

That kind of rings a bell. Does it say when he was in the league? 92 to 96. Okay, okay. That kind of rings a bell.

It says drafted by Miami Heat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Gilbert Arenas.

That's my Jennifer Coolidge impression. Gilbert Arenas? Gilbert Arenas, Agent Zero. That's right. Or the hibachi. Or the hibachi.

Look at that. You know them both. Dude, I told you. Because he heats things up, but not quite as fast as the microwave.

It's more of a kind of low and slow. I told you that I was staying at the Cosmo in Las Vegas for a steep discount for many years because of Agent Zero, because of Gilbert Arenas. I was once playing Baccarat at about 5 in the morning with Gilbert Arenas. And my theory is That the casino host thought That maybe I was his agent or something Like we were hitting it off greatly Me and this guy Gilbert Arenas Another Arizona Wildcat by the way And I think they thought that I was like A friend of his or somebody that should be comped Because they comped my entire weekend there And Continued to give me Free nights at the Cosmo Which is not a cheap hotel for many years After that I think because I was in their system as Gilbert Arenas' friend.

You're saying you were playing Baccarat. There is somebody, this is such a dumb thing to bring up on the show, I should just ask you this off air. But I had a moment a while back. So that little bar that used to be the Mandarin Gate that is now called The Vibe, unfortunately named The Vibe, but I've been stopping by there a little bit more these days and starting to kind of recognize some of the folks there. They're starting to develop a little bit more of a, like a regulars sort of situation there. And it's kind of a nice scene. Vives and I, when we got back from a party on Saturday, stopped in there and just like had a, had a nightcap and had kind of a good time with some of the regulars and stuff, which is always a nice feeling. But I was in there a couple of months ago and you remember the guy Oscar who used to do, I don't know if he did karaoke, but he always made the karaoke rounds with everybody.

He didn't do karaoke, but he always hung out on that side room with that guy, um, Dax.

Him. See, I don't know Dax, but they're still haunting that place.

I love it that it's so site specific. It's the geography for them. It's like whatever bar is in there, like someday it's going to be a nephrology center where they're just doing dialysis and they'll just be sitting in a side nephrology room.

And I do think that there's these sort of, even though those guys might not actually do karaoke or Oscar doesn't, they kind of make the karaoke. Genevieve knows them also from the, what's just north of?

The 131st Street, 5th Street?

Well, I was also just thinking, what is the one just up the street on 105th and Greenwood that everybody goes to? Oh, the Rickshaw. Rickshaw, yeah. I wanted to say Mandarin Gate, the Rickshaw. So anyway, I love that these characters sort of all just sort of like follow the same sort of circuit. And I just love the community, quasi-dirtbaggy though it may be. Love it. But I know Oscar's name because I've met him a couple of times, but this is maybe a couple of months ago. He's sitting there with his friend who has this long gray beard. And I had been sitting, I think maybe I had some wings or something. And then I was getting ready to leave, and the bar was pretty empty. And it was just those two guys there. As I was leaving, I'm like, hey, Oscar, I've met you a couple of times. I don't know if you know me. I think you know my girlfriend, Genevieve. And he's like, oh, yeah, Genevieve, right. And then somehow, and this is as I'm putting my coat on. I just want to say a quick hello slash goodbye to him. Aloha. I'm like, oh, yeah, I think we have a lot of friends in common. I'm like, I think you know Camaro Kev. He and Genevieve often do karaoke together. He's like, yeah. And then all of a sudden, the gray-bearded guy popped up. He's like, Luke, Camaro Kevin, Luke. And he was very, very excited to know.

Did he ask if I'm working on my book?

No, he didn't. But he was so excited to know that I knew you.

Are you doing the book?

And was he a big fan of yours? Or you guys just bonded or something? We just bonded from being there so much. Yeah, he seemed very, very excited.

I'm glad to hear he's still there. that's hilarious that they always they sort of locked down this side room right is that side

room still there it's all it's more of an open space now so yeah i see yeah yeah they always

like you said they were always they were never doing karaoke but they were just kind of holding court in this side room and it was very almost like goodfellas in a way because we would come in and we would go over into the side room and we would like you know say how's it going and everything and then we'd go sit in the bar bar and do karaoke and drink and then as we were leaving we would go

into the side room and say our goodbyes it is amazing so when vives and i were there on saturday night and again this was sort of a nightcap so we were there a little bit later i think we're there like 10 30 or something like after that's not super late but you know it's like and we roll in and oscar and his buddy are sitting there

at the corner of the bar, and we're all sort of talking. Genevieve even had some cookies left over from this party, so I'm sort of like passing cookies around the bar. And we start chatting with Oscar a little bit, but I noticed that literally every single person who comes in the bar stops to say hi to Oscar. Love it. The women are kissing him on the cheeks and giving him big hugs. The guys are giving him slaps on the back.

Powerful Richard Simmons vibes.

He is the mayor of that place. I love it so, so. and i finally said to him like dude like everybody has to like show their respects to you before they

take america well he used to work at the ihop across for many years he worked at that ihop

is it even still there oh yeah the one in the same in the same in the same complex and then he but

then something went sideways or he wanted a different scenery so he went up to the 125th

street oh that's right he used to work at that place for years yes yes yes the the tavern or

whatever it is called up there but um i love i love that those guys are still there that like

seattle i really makes me weirdly happy yeah yeah me too i i just love that everybody kind of knows each other one time i was at the 125th street and i was talking to the bartender she was kind of a she was a woman maybe i don't know in her 50s or 60s or something and um i was texting the crew like saying hey i'm having a having a french dip here it's pretty good or whatever and then everybody's like is so-and-so working we know her from the from like karaoke like ask her if the woman is like if we if we know her from karaoke it's like everybody in north everybody north of the cut knows everybody i love it even north of that maybe what north of 85th street or

something like that yeah i'd say it's probably north i think north of definitely north of 80th yeah right north of 80th and south of 145th it's it's pretty sweet how about the guy that used to make the round you're talking about that sort of the bermuda triangle if you will of like the mandarin gate the rickshaw and the baronoff yeah the baronoff yep i forget the guy's name but he used to work at boeing for many years and he'd get off of his shift and he would come and he always sang the the song turn your love around and he would just go and you perform it at the mandarin gate and then he'd go up to the rickshaw and perform and then he'd go over to the baronoff and perform and then he'd come back he he was like this triangle that he would just do this rotation of singing turn your love around at these different karaoke bars in north seattle

And he's still doing it, I think. He's got a nickname, too, I want to say.

The Microwave.

The Microwave. All right, let's go back to this list, actually. Good job, by the way, on Gilbert Arumas. Sing to my Lou. What about Stacey Augman? Oh, the plastic man, right?

Indeedly do.

You're absolutely right. He was a UNLV running rebel. It says here, UNLV teammate of Larry Johnson, actually. What about Larry Johnson's grandmama? Why is Larry Johnson grandmama? That was the next one on the list.

There's a great story about that, which was he had signed a contract with Nike. This was a big thing in my youth. Larry Johnson, he was a Charlotte Hornet in the NBA, and he had these great commercials. And they were really kind of, they were great because he was, I don't know, would you call it drag? The character was his grandmother. But Larry Johnson famously had a gold tooth. One of his front teeth was gold. uh-huh and so it's like imagine just like a six seven dude who's quite hulking and with a gold tooth but who's playing his own grandmother uh-huh and with a wig and everything and i recently heard and like a you know house code or whatever house dress i recently heard him talking about it in that he had signed a contract with nike coming out of unlv and it was supposed to be i forget what the premise of these commercials were supposed to be but they were very like let's just say kind of jock-coded and he shows up to shoot the commercial and they've had a whole change of heart on what the commercial is going to be i think had something to do with jordan and like literally like there was something about the what the commercial they were going to do was somehow impeding on michael jordan in in some way in his branding or his shoe or whatever so they had come up with this new idea which was you're going to be a grandma can you imagine being like a 23 year old black man in 1980s America you show up for the commercial they're like you're gonna be a

grandma I think he just went for it I remember these although I don't I didn't know who any of these people were and I didn't follow basketball at all here's a commercial from 1996 he's driving up it's called grandma she's the man this is 1996 she's driving up in a huge pink limousine convertible all the kids are on the block are like chasing the car it's so cool license plate is g-mama they're playing brick house now he's walking to the gym his grandma little pickup game playing basketball in the house dress just owning the dominating

i told y'all stay out of the lane when granny's driving

I just love that he went for it. Oh, it was Converse, by the way, not Nike. Oh, Converse, sorry.

Oh, you know what? I wonder if it was a Larry Bird or a— because Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were both famously Converse guys. I remember walking through the Northgate Mall when I was a kid, and there was, like, Foot Locker, and they had these life-size, like, cardboard cutout of Larry Johnson— excuse me, of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird back-to-back, and they were each holding their Converse, which were the same shoe, if I remember, but just different colors. One was for the Celtics, and one was for the Lakers, and it said, choose your weapon. And I was like, that is frigging cool.

There's probably huge shoes too. You could probably literally sit in them and just like get a couple of oars and go down the river. All right, last one on this list. And I think, I know you know this because I think I've heard this nickname before. It's so great. Jason Williams is? Oh, white chocolate. Indeedly do, my friend. That guy.

I assume he was a white player. He was a white kid who had, as we would say handles and uh what does that mean it means that you can really dribble the ball oh really well like you could you're like you're spectacular with your ball handling it was called handles and i believe he was kicked out of the university of florida for repeatedly testing positive for marijuana and then became a sacramento king and just he threw a pass in the nba all-star game to rafe la friends that still lives in my mind to this day it's not going to be interesting if i describe it but i'll try anyway he's driving the lane so he's running right down the middle of the court he's getting close to the hoop and this guy so rayful of friends was not on his team this was an all-star game if i remember right and so i forget who rayful friends went to kansas i forget where he was playing in the nba but jason uh williams aka white chocolate is running in front of this big tall guy rayful of friends and he goes to throw the ball like he's going to throw it behind his back right but instead of throwing it behind his back he moves i'm going to demonstrate andrew with a basketball because why else yeah you know what i'm going to use the sonics ball the ball does not have a lot of air in it if you just

know the collector's item that listener mike sent you oh no you know i've got my other one i'll do

that yeah let's let's not disrespect the um the signed ball duplication investigation okay so i'm going to be i'm being uh jason williams here and um and uh imagine there's rayful of friends is running right here okay i'm imagining ray for the friends is where my two daytime emmys are okay

okay is the friends wearing like a um like some sort of a french hat like a beret or something

the funny part is he went to kansas i don't know where he's from but yeah it sounds like he rode there on a on a bicycle with a baguette yes tied to the rack okay so he's got a beret and a baguette and he's chasing down sounding guy who i don't know has ever been to france so you got jason Williams, white chocolate, is driving the lane in the NBA All-Star Game. Rafe LaFrenz, the Francophile named Rafe LaFrenz is behind him. And what Jason Williams does is he goes to throw the ball like this. Like he's going to throw it behind his back. So this chair now. God, this is bad podcasting. It's really awful. It's terrible. I apologize. So he goes like he's going to throw it to this chair, like this. Behind his back. Behind the back to a guy over here. But instead, he moves his elbow. White chocolate does. And he bounces the ball back the opposite

way. Oh, he shoots it back into his...

To Rafe LaFrentz. So he does this.

He goes... Who's his teammate in this context. In the All-Star Game.

Yes, yes, yes. I see. So everyone thinks the ball's going this way.

He does a pass by bouncing it off of his elbow. Off his own elbow. Behind his back.

Back to Rafe LaFrentz, who I want to say misses the Leia. Oh, what

a bummer. But it was still the...

Like, you know, Being a, you know, I don't know what I was Probably a 17-year-old Luke Burbank or something It was everything to me, this move And one other thing About Jason Williams If I remember right I believe he was the high school Quarterback to Randy Moss Wow I think he played high school football With Randy Moss, who we were mentioning the other day Was also the punter on that team

When I think about these high school athletes So many of them are like, well, I could have played basketball, baseball Or football, and now I'm the quarterback back of you know and it's like dang all right listen i want to do a okay i have so that was

all the nba in west virginia i realized they were they were both uh high school uh teammates in west

virginia i realized i sort of did this out of order in the way that rolled sent this he did break it down by mlb and nfl but i'm gonna do a lightning round here i'm gonna skip the ones that

like we already said david ortiz you don't want any more reenactments for me of jason williams career well i just don't want to you know there were two jason williams in the nba and one of them unfortunately shot his limo driver and went to jail though i am i am here to honor the other jason okay good in the spirit of lightning round i will move on from that okay okay so obviously

we know randy johnson is the big unit

what about Fred McGriff

the crime the crime dog

so good so good so these are still he was a

it was a San Diego Padre I believe

this one I think we know although I'm not sure Ricky Henderson

Ricky Henderson R.I.P. I've told this story before I was once in line at the media entrance to the Kingdome shit talking Ricky Henderson to a woman I later learned was Ricky Henderson's wife

well he seems like somebody who would like just sort of let that

kind of thing go uh ricky henderson doesn't like you talking shit to his wife uh ricky henderson

i don't know what his nickname was what's his what is he most famous for uh stealing bases exactly he's the man of steel oh i don't know i that didn't you think that's a little what about

dave henderson former mariner and new york yankee who was known as hendu oh that's not probably

inappropriate i don't think uh ken griffey jr the kid ozzy smith um the hold on it's it's magical it's uh he was the magician let's just say that you are also you are also one of these now um you are all you are right absent father to my cat no uh you are one of these things uh when you travel you talk about your status oh yeah the wizard wizard ozzie smith ozzie smith the wizard he was a shortstop for the st louis cardinals i believe and of course we all know jay buehner is The Bone. Tell him The Bone sent you. Deion Sanders, primetime. What about Jerome Bettis? This is the all NFL now.

Hold on. Jeez, Louise.

You're killing me, Larry. And tell him The Bone sent you. Who was it again? Jerome Bettis. Jerome Bettis. This is NFL 93 in 2005.

He was the bus. The bus. That one haunts me because when the Pittsburgh Steelers played the Seattle Seahawks in the Super Bowl in Detroit. Jerome Bettis was from Detroit, and nobody would stop talking about the fact that Jerome Bettis was getting to play in his hometown, and I feel like on some level that's part of why the Seahawks lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers. That and the officiating.

And the officiating. Okay, I'm just going to do a couple more of my favorites here, and then I'm going to choose the last three here. I know you've said this before, but I think this is a good one. Reggie White was... Reggie White was the Minister of Defense. Exactly. That's a good nickname. R.I.P. I'll give you two more of these. How about, and I think this is amazing, Andre Risen. Andre Risen was, he was an Atlanta Falcon,

and he was a very, very highly regarded player out of college who I think was decent in the pros. He was a quarterback, but didn't really live up to his supposed potential. Andre Risen. I don't remember. What was his nickname? According to this list, Bad Moon. Oh, Bad Moon Rising. That is so awesome. I wonder if that wasn't a Chris Berman-ism. Oh, sure. Chris Berman, in the early days of ESPN, he, of course, would bestow these nicknames on everyone. Like, there was a baseball player named Jim Deshaies, and he would call him Jim Two Silhouettes on Deshaies. Rolls off the tongue. Yeah, you got a long climb for a short slide there. But Bad Moon Rising sounds like a Chris Berman-ism.

And the final one off this list that I will share with you, I think I might have heard you mention this before, although I'm not sure, and forgive my pronunciation if I mess this up, but Christian Okoye.

Oh, the Nigerian Nightmare.

Exactly, the Nigerian Nightmare.

I do not think he played high school football. I believe he was in college and, like, wandered over to the field, and they were like, you seem sturdily built.

And, ironically, born and raised in Canada. No, just joking. Oh, I just made that part up.

Christian Okoye really, really did some damage to the Seahawks because that was, Andrew, back when the Seahawks were in the AFC West, which I believe also included the Kansas City Chiefs at the time. It was a weird time in America. The Seahawks were in the AFC West with the Denver Broncos, the, I believe at the time, Oakland Raiders, and I want to say the Kansas City Chiefs. The Kansas City Chiefs once, Derek Thomas, who was a defensive lineman for them, once sacked, I believe uh sacked Dave Craig I believe seven times the Seahawks quarterback in the same game in order to at that time set the record for most sacks in one game and it was on his eighth sack with no time left on the clock that Dave Mudbone Craig shirked Derek Thomas off of him and threw a touchdown to Paul Scancy and the Seahawks won the game and I was sitting in our dodge dart outside of Gospel Outreach Christian Fellowship listening on the AM radio listening to Pete Gross called the game, and it was, to this day, one of the high points of my life.

Did you try to recreate it on a Tecmo Bowl? I know you weren't as much of a Tecmo Bowl.

I recreated it in my basement. I had a whole pretend football situation. Like, it was where, you know, there was, like, a table, like a folding table with heaps of.

laundry on it at all times, and I would rest the ball on there like it was being handed off to me. So I would set up in the backfield. I would listen to Monday Night Football, to the radio broadcast of Monday Night Football, which was like Hank Schramm, and I forget who else, and I would listen to the game and I would try to reenact the plays with this football and myself.

Is that any relation to Schramm, the famous broadcaster in Seattle? I don't think so. Okay. I don't think so. I'm blanking on his name now. Ken Schramm. Ken Schramm, yeah.

again rest in peace every name that we say at some point will be all right especially the longer

we do this show and i don't even mean the podcast i mean this episode what time is it i'm sorry i apologize hour 30 well the thing is we've turned in like an hour 50 yesterday an hour 30 today i think we can do 10 minutes tomorrow do an intro hello goodbye in and out dazzling donors and we're done two dazzling donors say hello to oscar on the way in on the way out that's all we gotta do. Shout out to Oscar. Exactly. Hey, thank you Roald for sending that. Yeah, that was a lot of fun. I love that. I love hearing you talk about the sports

memories of your youth. I mean, the irony, I don't know if it's irony. The interesting thing is I think I would be so much worse at the sort of current era players of any sport. I also wonder, do we even have nicknames anymore? Like, I mean D-Flash Gordon. I know him. Which I believe, yeah.

And now it's Strange Gordon now. He designated his name.

Well, there was a Tom Gordon who was a pitcher for the Royals before him who was also called Flash.

You know, that was on a Rolls list was another Flash who was apparently D's father. I wonder if that's the same.

Is D Gordon Tom Flash Gordon's kid?

Here, let me go back to Rolls list. The Kansas City Royal? The very first one on this list that I did not even name was Tom Gordon. Unlimited. Who was known as Flash, and it says father of D.

How did I not put that together? that Dee Gordon's dad was, I still, somewhere in my house, have Tom Flash Gordon baseball cards. Really? As a Kansas City Royal. Oh, you know another good one next time you're making the list, Roald? Next time you're making the list. Dennis Oil Can Boyd, who was a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox, Oil Can. Oil Can. I feel like in the olden days, and by the way, he was only referred to as Oil Can.

I love that.

We really don't have good, like, does friggin' Matt Brash have a nickname?

I don't think so. Are we going to see him early in the season, by the way? Is he hurt again? No, I think he's still crawling out of that injury, but I think he might be pitching for us, relieving for us this season. I'm looking at MLB Players 2025. The music is playing. We can't do this now. The password is somebody named Johnston Garcia. I think I said that wrong, but I don't know any of these players.

Yeah, I feel like we don't. We're really under-delivering in the nick. I blame video games. I blame our phones, and I blame video games.

It says our very own Colt Emerson has a nickname. Oh, Chad. What a terrible nickname. Colt Emerson, known as Chad. No offense to Chads. I'm just saying, why is that your nickname with your name is Colt?

It's no Jim Two Silhouettes on Deshaies.

Anyway, we're going to run out of music here.

Okay, thanks, everybody. We'll see you tomorrow. In the meantime, please remember, no mountain too tall.

Good luck to all.

These are nicknames for your friend named Luke. Luke-a-lay-lay. Luke's of Hazzard. As-salamu-loukoum. Cindy Luke-who. Leukemia. Fruit Luke's. Ooh, Luke, what you made me do. Spooky Lukey Fluke Count LuKu Righty-tighty-lefty Lukey How many Lukes to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Good Luke charm I got a gluk in my Rari The Luke-Ness Monster For Luco Luctose intolerant I Luke it, I Louve it, I want some more Oove it Power out