Muse

So you were saying earlier that some people, they don't, uh, like the sound of this music? Really? Oh. People get fully mad. Oh. The thing no one appreciates is these are the original recordings. Oh. Uh-huh. You can't get that warm sound anymore. You know, the bass, the treble, the mids.

Oh, that, right, yeah. Oh. Here. Oh, that, okay. Yeah. that's the uh that's mids right yeah yeah wow that's really got that yeah thing on it what's not on it it's in it oh yeah i like it a lot yeah some people they're just so ignorant to music it's kind of sad i would say totally tbtl

well there probably won't be anyone here and if there is they'll probably think i'm some kind of

jerk for morning just two potatoes. It's your lucky day. You just found a USB flash drive in the parking lot. Let the fun begin. Brother, who are you? What are you doing? I'm with the news,

dude. See, this is exactly the problem with lamestream media. Leave half of what you see and just a little bit of what you hear, and monkey see, monkey do. It could be all over you.

Poop, buddy, scoop, scoop. Poop, poop. I could really use a win here.

well all right hello good morning and welcome everybody to a wednesday edition of tbtl the show that just might be too beautiful to live my name is luke burbank i am your host coming to you from the madrona hill studio i hate you because you look different where it is absolutely beautiful today oh ma pa it's just beautiful blue skies few wispy clouds the absolute perfect climate to bring you episode 4,400 and 16 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. I was tempted to play my new favorite sound effect there, but it was personally requested that I stop doing that so much from somebody who has a back channel to communicate with us. So maybe a little less of the bell tolling, which you know only means a little more of the bell tolling probably from me. Anyway, yesterday I went to a new place to get my haircut, and it went, well, pretty well.

If you've got cute hair, I'm going to say, damn, girl, you've got some cute hair.

Went pretty well. That passes as content here on the show. Yes, it does. An update on my haircut. Also, this is a notoriously audio-based medium. Also, the Brody backlash continues. Not just about this long, meandering, self-serving speech that he gave Or his Saturday Night Live Rasta character he decided to do But something involving his chewing gum at the Academy Awards

You're a gross person

So we'll delve into that And we're going to talk to this guy The longest-running Cobra of the show Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships Although, he's also known as

The man who brought the rock and roll edge to the Eagles

He's Andrew Walsh, and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend. Andrew Fingers Walsh, because I brought the rock and roll edge. You did. 2024 is looking like a year that you're squarely back in the driver's seat, Andrew.

Is that what the press release said, or did it say 2025?

It was 2024. So it was.

I didn't even notice that joke yesterday, which actually leads me into something I wanted to mention here at the very beginning of the show that we can dispatch with pretty quickly. But I'm feeling very defensive about another thing that I either got wrong or I like to think I was so up on the news early that there's been a quiet correction issue. Do you know what I'm talking about? I think I might, and it involves the bell. Yeah. I love the bell, by the way. I stand the bell. The bell's amazing. Keep it.

Well, the person who said stop doing that knows the show very well. Yes. And knows that if you tell me to stop doing something, it will likely cause me to do it more.

It might have been an attempt at reverse psychology, in which case it's working perfectly, because I want to hear that bell. So not to bring this up three days in a row, but a Bell, a Liberty Bell replica was stolen from my neighborhood. We talked about that on Monday. It was quite the scandal. On Tuesday, we reported that it had been found, I believe, sometime during Monday, and the news broke that it was found on Monday night. And you and I talked about that on yesterday's show, and I was adamant that it was on Northeast 83rd Street. I had specifically said it wasn't North 83rd because that would be closer to my neighborhood. It was North East 83rd Street. I remember reading that in the Times. The story had just broken. I mapped it out to figure out exactly the borders of North East 83rd as compared to...

North 83rd, got a note from listener Justin in Greenwood, who's kind of, you know, pertains to all of this, that neighborhood, says actually it was Northwest 83rd Street where it was found in Ballard. So don't be maligning the people in the great neighborhood of Roosevelt when this thing was found in Ballard on Northwest 83rd.

I also don't even think that's Roosevelt.

It's on Roosevelt.

It's Roosevelt Street, but I don't think the neighborhood is Roosevelt.

Oh, yeah, that's true. That would be more Maple Leaf because it was by the res, basically. Let's say Maple Leaf. I'm trying to connect with our listeners on the East Coast by being hyper-pedantic about this meaningless thing. That was for you, Tiara in Baltimore. Go Ravens. Go Ravens. Go Orioles. I need to learn. I promised you I was going to learn about the Orioles before the baseball season so I can break down. So you can get the hat, right? So I can wear my hat in public and bro down with Orioles fans as I run into them at the grocery store. Anyway, is there any chance? I just wrote back to Justin. I'm like, you know, I went back to the article. The article says Northwest. But is there any chance that there was a typo in the Seattle Times when the story first broke about the bell being found? It said Northeast. I looked up Northeast, ran with it the next day on the show. And did they quietly, is there a chance that they quietly fixed a typo and turn it back into Northwest and didn't issue an apology? In order to make you look foolish. Not in order to make me look foolish. I realize, I mean, I realize how this sounds, the ego involved. But Luke, I was standing by my dartboard. It said Northeast. I'm like, oh, Northeast. Let me map out what is Northeast. I wouldn't have, I swear it was Northeast. I feel like I'm being gaslit by the times.

Earth face East, right?

That's right. That's what we learned.

I believe you, Andrew, because I think that's the kind of specific detail that you would be sort of double checking on because you are so, how do I put it? You're not overly confident about direction, directional things, stuff like that. I feel like you wouldn't shoot from the hip on something like that because you're very cautious. And so I tend to think there must have been a typo in there.

I like to think so. I was, I saw this this morning. This is how crazy I am.

I wasn't going to bring it up, even though I did put in those coordinates and then street viewed around that street.

Wait, yesterday or when you got this email? No, no, no, this morning when I saw the same email.

I was not going to bring it up. I didn't feel like I needed to, you know, neg you. Pile on like Justin? Precisely. But I did go on the Google street view and walk around that neighborhood that Justin was referring to to see if it rung any bells for me as it rung bell. Because of, oh, you mean this girl? There we go. Because I was wondering if that was over by where I used to play football when I was playing Ballard Pee Wee's football. And we practiced at a field called Loyal Heights, which was over there. There's that Safeway on 15th. Yes. I think that's called like Crown Hill. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That little area maybe. So Justin may have even been wrong because Justin was calling it Ballard. I think what Justin and again, this goes out to TR in Baltimore. I believe, Justin, you might be describing Crown Hill.

Yeah, so that might be the Crown Hill area. I kind of like that area. It feels like it does feel like one of those areas that's between areas a little bit. No offense to people who live or work there, but Freelard is sort of a similar thing, that area between Fremont and Ballard. I don't like saying Freelard. I guess I'm totally indoctrinated into that now. I remember the first time I heard Freelard, and I thought, no, that's not a thing. I'm not getting on board with that. And here it is, 2025, and I'm just dropping it in a podcast.

It also used to have a strip club that I believe—

Freelard or Crown Hill?

No, Crown Hill, that little area. I believe there was a strip club there that on some nights it was male dancers and some nights it was female dancers, and I always thought, dangerous game, Dano.

Yeah, that's funny. In most cases, a different audience, yes.

Right, you'd figure. And I believe it was where, on her bachelorette party, my first uh former wife uh went uh with her you know friends it was a bachelorette party as one does and i believe someone reported to me later that uh she got a dance to the song drops of jupiter by train at that was the night that they had guys there i guess uh on that strip club in crown hill and uh you know i'm i'm i have fond feelings towards this person i used to be married to it's very amicable but maybe that would have been a moment of reflection we went with drops of jupiter by train as as our as our lap dance well that was a choice that was a

is it like karaoke do they give you a binder you know i i wasn't there i mean it was in the

parking lot can you remind me of trying to look through a peephole trying to monitor the situation

yeah i was making just making sure there was yeah just being just trying to what's the word control the situation i was being At least described it later.

How does Drops of Jupiter go? Can you sing it for me? I can. Because I know it's a song I know. I just cannot get it. I can never remember it.

Well, I don't know the lyrics, but it's something like. Growl it. It's like she's a. Now that she's back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair. Oh, yeah. Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you something to the Milky Way? This is going to be audio somewhere. I don't like it. This is going to enter the monk verse. And that heaven was overrated. The line in that song that really kind of presented the exit ramp for me as a fan was something like, it's just like, best soy latte that you ever had and me or something.

While you look that up, can I tell you something interesting I just learned? Because I have the video up here, but I'm trying not to play it because I don't want to risk the Spotify overlords. But you know how a few years back now, or probably a long time ago now, YouTube started doing this thing where when you scrub the little finder along the bottom of a video to look for a specific part in the video, it'll show you what the most popular parts are, where people will replay things over and over. If it's an SNL sketch that has an iconic scene, you'll see a big bump there because everybody goes right to that part. The Drops of Jupiter has something I've never seen before, which is it starts out medium and just gets lower and lower and lower to infinity by the end of it. Like, nobody is, like, fast-forwarding to any fun parts. No one's getting to the end. They're all just atrophying. They're all just nobody's getting to the end.

Now that she's back in the atmosphere with Drops of Jupiter in her hair, yeah. She acts like summer and she walks like rain. Reminds me that there's time to change. Hey, hey, hey. Since the return of her stay on the moon, she listens like spring, and she talks like June. Hey-ay-ay-ay. Uh-huh. But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Tell me! Did you make it? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven was overrated? Wait, uh, we still gotta get to this.

Where's that soy latte?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation, tracing her way through the constellation, She checks out Mozart while she does tie bow. Reminds me that there's room to grow. Hey, hey, hey. Where do we get to this latte? I don't know. What the hell did I? Wait. Oh, can you imagine? No love, pride, deep fried chicken. Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you're wrong. Wait, we're still not at the store. What? Oh, yeah. Okay, here we go. Are you serious about a fried chicken reference? This is the bridge. We're the first people to ever make it this far into the song, including lead singer Pat Monaghan. Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken, your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you're wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, five-hour phone conversation, the best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

I think the fried chicken is more interesting than the soy latte, honestly.

I mean, it's a mess of a paragraph.

Yeah. Can you imagine no love, pride, deep... What's that? We live in a neighborhood that now has the world's cheapest fried chicken. Don't overpay for it. It's the thing I would say. It's threatening to buy, but we still have not tried that.

Is it advertised as? Is that the sales pitch? We won't be undersold on this chicken?

No, SARS, the aptly named budget grocery store in our neighborhood.

Not just a thing that RFK Jr. thinks you should use castor oil for.

Right, exactly. They have, like, I think cheap. I know that they had signs for cheap chicken Thursdays at one point. It's my understanding that it now might be cheap chicken Wednesdays and Fridays. I don't know what the price actually is, but they have like a deli there with a bunch of fried chicken. And I will say this, all kidding aside, I will try it because fried chicken is one of those things that you find some real treasures of. You know, I don't see you being a fried chicken guy, but, like, I think in the South, like, some people think the best fried chicken fingers come from, like, gas stations, you know, like, local gas stations and stuff. I feel like it can be a hidden treasure.

Yeah, because it comes down to probably the breading. Yeah. And are they doing, are they, you know, are they dredging it and breading it there? And maybe somebody who's in charge of making them just happens to have a good recipe?

Yeah, and I kind of doubt it, but maybe.

Yeah. I don't want to, well, two things. One, I only saw the headline in the Seattle Times, but it sounds like the rivalry between what, like, Izzel's fried chicken and whatever the heaven sent has expired.

Yeah, it's kind of a bummer. Did somebody pass away? No, Izzel just pulled out of the game. What? Izzel's? Yeah, he was one half of the team that started Izzel's. No, Izzel's is still there, but he split off because of some sort of— Oh, I see. You see a lot of this in Seattle restaurants, I think.

Now there are three? Three Spider-Mans? No, no, no. Okay.

Calm down. I'm telling you what happened. There was a Zell's. It was the place. I'm trying to interrupt you. Hey, stop. I'm trying to interrupt you. And somebody else. There was some sort of infighting. So the guy whose name is a Zell split off and started Heaven Sent Chicken. That was years ago. The latest news is Heaven Sent went from, I don't know if at its peak they had two or three restaurants, but they were down to one and that last one has closed. Zell is still alive, but he said, I just can't make it in this economy anymore. It's not going well. I'm an older man.

So Heaven Sent Fried Chicken, which was the spinoff, it did not, failure to thrive.

But the people who are into chicken culture in Seattle say that Heaven Sent was the real deal. When the split happened. Because he was a Zelle, right? He was a Zelle, exactly. And so even though he left his namesake restaurant behind, he had the good stuff, and now the good stuff is the gone stuff.

Oh, too bad. i say that and yet and i don't want to i don't want to be one of these sort of unfun people or a scold but i feel like i've been really unfortunately driving near too many chicken trucks on the freeway lately i think it's because there's like a foster farms down in town like some sort of process i think i'm i'm in a hot zip for where they're bringing those chickens and you know i don't think that chickens have a rich inner life but i really really don't like being on the freeway next to one of those trucks where they're all in those cages and the feathers are flying out and they're just you know bewildered it's like it it almost i mean i've got pretty mixed feelings about the whole thing but i'm chickens have kind of rocketed to the top of the thing that i feel a lot of guilt around it's because i don't see cows in you know i don't see a thing of like a hundred cows in a truck going somewhere you know yeah and i'm sure some will be

careful what you say because your inbox is about to be filled with people sending you grotesque images of cows and and please don't and i'm you know unsavory situations they just don't happen to be in your line of sight right now right but i will say though and i eat chicken i'm not trying to sound like i'm above it but i understand if you're anybody who has any kind of like kind of hesitancy towards meat or some kind of meat eating something like fried chicken or barbecue chicken or anything off the bone like that for me is about as grizzly as you get where you can you know if you think about the animal that you're eating you can see the animal that you're eating and we're We're not talking about taking chicken and then turning it into chicken sausage or even a chicken, a breaded chicken sandwich at a, at a restaurant. You can sort of like, you know, you're eating a sandwich. It's got lettuce. It's got mayo. It's got other things on it. But when you're just tuck, and I, and I like it, by the way, I will continue to eat fried chicken. I'm sure at least in the, in the near future, unless something significant changes in my life. But I completely understand chickens. You have the morality thing that you mentioned, which would go along with most meats, I think, or all meat. you have the kind of like yeah, you can really see the form of the chicken while you're gnawing at it. And thirdly chickens are dirty, you know? Like when I think of birds, I just think of birds as being dirty and I think of chickens as being dirty and they're mincey stupid. Little weird dinosaurs? Easy burner. Stupidity is over with me.

You know, that's a pretty good

Herzog. I'm trying to remember what the actual line is. Wait, don't play it yet. Is it the intensity of their stupidity? The intensity of their stupidity is overwhelming.

I believe he says something like the enormity of their flat brains.

Yes, yes.

Or maybe the enormity of their stupidity.

Yes, the enormity. Do you have it? I have it right here.

The enormity of their flat brain. Brain. The enormity of their stupidity is just overwhelming. Okay. You have to do yourself a favor when you're out in the countryside and you see a chicken. Try to look a chicken in the eye with great intensity. And the intensity of stupidity that is looking back at you is just amazing. By the way, it's very easy to hypnotize a chicken. they're very prone to hypnosis and in one or two films i've actually shown that meanwhile this is

the same guy who got who who got emotional when he looked at an animatronic baby yoda puppet yes

yes he's really he's a he's a super feeler he really is he's a he's a he can yeah i was gonna say he contains multitudes but i guess we say that about a lot of people but he is an interesting cat

Yeah, I think the world is better for having good old Werner Herzog out there Okay, the other big news today is that I did go to a new place, got my hair cut yesterday And I was a little bit nervous because it was live-y, laugh-y, love-y Oh, by the way, Andrew, after all of the reminders that they were sending me These auto-generated text reminders I still almost missed the appointment I was filing it under the wrong time in my mind I thought it was at 1.30, and at like 12.58, I thought, let me double check that.

and I did and of course it was at 1 o'clock so then I jump in the car and I call down and I it rings and rings and I said hey I have this 1 o'clock appointment but I'm running a little bit late I'll be there at like 1 10 and there was kind of a long pause and then the woman said okay and I was like oh is this does this portend bad things it didn't the place was totally empty nobody was getting a permanent thankfully and the one of the owners took care of me sat me down gave me a good haircut she fixed what the uh great clips people had was basically yeah untapped greatness at great clips in the fred meyer um they for one thing that the last couple of times they'd been leaving this little poof of hair on the side on on the left side of my head it wasn't symmetrical no it was like a little ledge it It was like a little ledge of hair that came down to kind of where I'm indicating here.

I saw it yesterday when you pointed it out, but I assumed it was on both sides of your head. It's weird. I guess it was just because you part your hair on one side, so that caused it, I guess.

And so I said, yeah, this kind of weird ledge thing. She goes, yeah, you know, a lot of times on men's hair, it tends to grow a lot around the sort of temples area. I mean, that's why even when people go bald, usually that area doesn't go away. Yeah. Generally speaking, there's something about – why don't they make the whole airplane out of that, Andrew? Yeah, right. Something about that part of the hair that the the head that tends to be pretty pretty fast growing and pretty lustrous And so she said yeah, you got to really kind of like stay on top of it Like she was immediately talking about the haircut in a technical way That I realized I'd been missing I like that my at my great clips I mean all nice people but like this was a person who co-owns a salon were they selling a lot of Regrettable chainsaw art that might have been made by her husband. Yes like there was these would you walk in and i please everybody be cool don't don't i i want

to go back to this place yeah you also have not said the name of it and you won't right but the

people can figure out everything the hive mind is is i've already given probably too many details but all that is to say um you walk right in and uh at the front counter there are these two i just have to say very rudimentary um wood figures of some kind of a i don't even know know what it is a kind of a part demon part cocopele okay type of a thing like it's a little wood figurine that stands up but its head is kind of swooped back like the predators i don't know anyway and it's like two of them and it's like custom art by and they're like 40 bucks a piece and i was like wow this is um this is a reach but anyway uh despite all of that uh the maybe some of the aesthetic differences i have with with some of the live laugh loving of the place i wanted to take a picture of one of the things to send it to you but there was it was empty so there was no way for me to go subtly take a picture of one of these signs without the owner of the salon seeing me do it and i didn't want to have to make up an elaborate lie about why i was to say something earnest like oh yeah oh my cousin is i love this my cousin's also a barber it was some kind of like a wordplay around hairstylists or something but it was in that like we were talking yesterday that kind of font the live laugh love font anyway all of this is to say it says i should tell the

listeners it does say live laugh love in a script shaved into the side of your head kind of looping around the back of your head it was free i like it no it's nice i was like yeah i will get full

service on this i will pizzazz yes uh anyway the haircut took like 15 minutes it was 25 oh my god

are you serious and she did that's even cheaper than my guy that's five bucks off of my guy and

the hair is so much better than it was like i can just feel the difference of having somebody who knows what they're doing uh cut the hair so this was a big success and what about the experience

aside from the decor did it i was saying yesterday that i sort of feel like there might be a spectrum i don't know much about this stuff but it seems like there's kind of there's barber shops there's salons there's probably a i'm guessing there's a bit of a spectrum between those as far as just experience is concerned and like what you expect as far as like i don't know trimming around a beard area versus maybe getting your hair washed in a tub or whatever, although they do that at barbershops as well. Did this feel a little bit more salon-y than some of the barbershops you've gone to? And did you like it? Did you get any advantages of that? Just that

the person cutting my hair really knew what they were doing. Yeah, but no, like... I didn't get a hair wash or a mani-pedi. There was no extra anything. I didn't avail myself of any of the salon aspects of it, but it was just like super fast 25 bucks love that did a nice job yeah so i'm very excited i'm like you know this is my this is my new thing this is my new spot down in town that is incredible and again i love rudy's but

all you have to do andrew dollars before tip all you have to do is move to manga country

where every day is a living hell of analyzing bumper stickers on lifted trucks oh my god

The haircuts are cheap. Are you in the mode where you're seeing symbols? You're like, I don't even know what the symbol means, but I'm going to look it up only to be appalled.

No, unfortunately, I know what the symbols generally mean. You know, I just, I'm just constantly having these battles. It's the, this was coming, this came up on Chris Hayes' great podcast this week, Why Is This Happening?, where he was interviewing someone who has written extensively about troll culture and how basically troll culture, which started off somewhat apolitical, has now become the language that the right uses on you know in in like moments of politics and things but uh one of the things that they were saying which i totally agree with is it's built around this idea of like f your feelings like the idea is like uh facts don't care about your feelings i forget who who who on on that you know i don't know if it's shapiro or whoever's credited with that but it is a deeply they are deeply butthurt at all times they are it is so much about their feelings and when i like pull up to home depot and there's just a truck and it's got like a stick figure humping feelings and it says f your feelings i'm like you are so triggered right now like you put you put is it was it is it the great ian carmel who has a bit about bumper

stickers not that i know of are you sure that i even know the bit you're talking about because

i don't think i do i believe this is ian's bit i think where he says like when you see someone with one of those really just hateful, aggressive bumper stickers, just imagine them putting it on their window.

Here, let me see if I can play this.

Imagine the moment when the person had to position it. They had to clean the window. They had to take the back off. They had to place it on the window. Is that Ian?

Yeah, I think this is Ian. This is a little bit tough to do because it's Instagram, so you're going to miss the first couple of seconds here, but let's go.

You've never seen one of those guys with one of those stickers, and you're like, whoa, like you're a little intimidated. if it's like, if you get an abortion, I'll kill you. You know, like on a sticker. Just picture him putting the sticker on. Picture him standing up in the back of his Ford F-350, like...

He's pulling out a sticker very carefully. Peeling it off. Very calmly. Straightening it up. taping it down very calm very visual now he's wiping out any bubbles any air bubbles looks a little bit very oh he had to peel back I'm glad we got Ian doing this I'm just describing what he's doing I love it at one point he was pulling oh shit I stopped this i can't fast forward it looks like he peels back the corner he's trying to like fix something it doesn't work and now he says honey bring me another calvin pissing on hunter biden honey bring me another calvin pissing on hunter biden i ruined the joke there sorry i think i

have to i have to go there in my mind i think you know what i mean when i'm seeing these things because they're so triggering to me and it feels so unfair and it just feels like such a deep misreading of who has their feelings hurt all the time like yeah you know like this like super guy who identifies as very macho and like i'm not about feelings i'm about facts and it's like why are you spending so much time worrying about uh people uh who's using what bathroom where

like it's all so feelings driven and i can't even talk about it i get so spun up i mean it's literally all hypocrisy and it just it this is the gaslighting part under by the way under appreciated Nirvana song all hypocrisy all hypocrisy just like I just feel like screaming like but don't you see whether it's you know booting somebody out of Congress a Democrat for standing up and saying something during the address yesterday when Marjorie Taylor Greene did the same exact thing what last year or two years ago whatever this is like no they are it's just absolute hypocrisy and that is the most maddening thing I woke up this morning I'm flipping through news headlines not even clicking on articles I'm flipping through news headlines And I just said to Genevieve, I'm like, I just don't want to wake up in this world anymore. And she said, you could have just stopped it up. And I was like, yeah, I guess we're yesterday.

I want to be cryogenically frozen. And then woken up later. No, never woke up.

Never woke it up. Yesterday, Vives and I did a show for After These Messages. We spent all afternoon just talking about why nothing matters. And it's hard to feel like anything matters. So we did a whole show on commercials based on existentialism. which by the way do you remember high concept i like it i only found about like maybe five six seven examples but the american existentialism the one that i thought of first that i was so proud of remembering was do you remember the toilet paper i think it was a quilted northern mr frog froggy or sir froggy commercial this is literally one of my favorite commercials of all time if not my favorite commercial of all time it shows it shows a toilet paper holder in a bathroom it's just a quiet home bathroom looks kind of cozy there's nobody in it there's no action and there's i'm kind of stumbling around while i look for this as well um and you just see a close-up of it and the toilet paper holder is a little bit it looks like maybe it's for a maybe a kid's bathroom or something it's like this cute little frog and his arms are sort of sticking out and the arms are what you put the toilet paper roll into right and um and he's kind of got these big cute eyes or whatever and this is how the narration goes quilted northern works so well people can forget

their bathroom experience but sir froggy sees all and forgets nothing i'm watching it he always knew he was destined for a life of service he wasn't made to do anything else he just didn't realize how unrelenting it would actually be what's worse he thinks that my arms can never relax or my eyes can never look away quilted northern designed to be forgotten designed to be forgotten

is that's the way to sell toilet paper not look how clean my bear butt is or whatever what if we

pour three gallons of iced tea onto this let's enact something that's fecal like to show you

it's whateverness give me a toilet paper commercial that admits that pooping is shameful and yes

that's all i want can we acknowledge that it's gross that's really that's a great commercial i'd

never seen that before yeah i think it was maybe five six years ago or something i love that but that was my um existential commercial capper um that sounds like a good episode of after these messages when does that uh when's that hit the air last night so i'm sort of uh stealing from that now but yeah it was a fun it was kind of a fun episode if you just want to hear me and

just keep on saying why nothing matters well it also generated uh it sounds like it it led you to that tape that you were playing me some of before the show can we do this maybe we thank some dazzling donors and then maybe we can hear that tape yes that's what the donors want i want i need to i need it to be introduced into the canon so we can start chopping and screwing it

We was hoping for some razzle-dazzle. Razzle-dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle-dazzle.

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Everybody razzle-dazzle.

All right, let's thank those dazzling donors. These folks are donating a dazzling amount of dough. Keeping TBTL in business. Folks like our friend, Catherine Kachunis, out there in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hi, Catherine. What up, Catherine? Nice to see your name on the list again. Thank you so much. Catherine says, I'm going to be honest. If this is too much of a downer, you can just tell the listeners I love them. Well, Catherine, that would imply that I pre-read these. And since I don't, I'm just going to read the whole thing. I have not made a judgment as to if this is too much of a downer. So we're going to read. It's your dime, Catherine. It's your multiple dimes that you're donating every single month. Thank you. If this is too much of a downer, you can just tell the listeners I love them. the donor message. This donor message request came one week since the big, terrible power shift happened. We all might be carrying around our fears and worries and care and love in a messy ball. I know I am. And if you are, I wanted to take this moment to encourage people to find joy in these times of, well, not easily found joy. Focus on the care and the love and hold it. It will make carrying the fear and stress easier. Find things that matter and try to make them joyful when the big things are failing build smaller stronger places to hold community if you feel like it's too much a focus on keeping yourself safe sometimes being yourself can be an act of defiance itself I want the best for each of you love you all no listen to Catherine that wasn't a downer at all that was a message of hope and inspiration and I guess you could say unfortunately as necessary today as when you wrote it mm-hmm if not more mm-hmm It's like this idea of Catherine contextualizing this and kind of saying, look, I'm writing this right after the inauguration. So it's very fresh. And I'm like, oh, no, hold my beer. It's going to get worse. It's going to get way worse. So that's a great message, Catherine. And I think a big part of, you know, our little show and our little community of listeners and how we've kind of banded together, you know, around this time. I feel like I'm seeing this is anecdotal, but I'm seeing a lot of emails where people kind of say, look, I needed this. You know, I need this world of TBTL and, you know, chipmunk talk and things that are maybe a little bit on the lighter side, because like you were saying today, Andrew, everything out there is just so bleak. It's just unrelenting. So I'm really, really glad and honored that we can hopefully be a bit of a distraction from that.

Here's how we want to look at it. Right now we're going through the Empire Strikes Back, but we, the tens, are like the hobbits. fully, or not the hobbits, I'm sorry, the Ewoks. I really wanted this to be a crossover episode. And soon we will be hoisting C-3PO up on a chair. Yes. And parading him around in celebration.

And singing, what's the song they sing? Ruck Ruck? Chup Chup? I don't know. Ruck Ruck. Jub Jub. They sing some kind of silly, the Ewoks sing a silly, silly song as their Jub Jub, right? Is it Jub Jub?

I'm going to write a note to your brother right now saying, hey, what song do the hobbits sing in Star Wars Part 3 and just see what he says. Do the Ewoks sing?

I think it's like Yub Nub. It's Yub Nub, Andrew. Of course it is. Mom, it's not real. It's a Yub Nub. It's a Yub Nub. The Ewok celebration. Hold on. We're skipping through a couple of preloaded ads. I hope that Yub Nub isn't on the left channel, Andrew. Hallelujah!

Oh, we've really found our lane recently.

Yeah, it's small, furry, rodent-like creatures from yesterday, yesteryear. Come on, get to the yub-nub.

I heard a yub. Beating a drum. I think I heard a yub.

Oh, they're playing the drums on a stormtrooper helmet. Yub-nub. Oh, wow. Now Ian Carmel is unspooling the back of the sticker, placing it on a redwood tree. The song kind of slaps, actually. Yeah. I kind of like that chord progression or whatever, when it's kind of going up.

Maybe we need that. Maybe we need to isolate that and have it on hand for when we're spinning out of control into a negative spiral. We just play that to pull ourselves up. We yub nub.

We yub nub. Brother, could you spare a yub nub? Show title? Maybe. Very possibly. Maestro?

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set. Now ready. Ready. Go. Well, look who it is.

It's Luke Hertel of Wakefield, Rhode Island. And a yub-nub to you, Luke.

And a yub-nub also with you.

And with you. Luke says, picture this, if you will. It is Monday, January 27th at 1 in the afternoon in Panama City, Panama. Outside, the real feel is 100 degrees. But I'm not outside anymore, having walked two miles to a cozy, hip, moody bar called Mangle. The chill wave and hip-hop and classic Latin music playing over the hi-fi is absolutely perfect. I don't know how to pronounce Mangle, so I didn't. Instead, I order a $6 gin cocktail called Good Grass. It is delicious and minty and wonderfully refreshing. And as the alcohol hits the blood... You know, I don't think I've ever thought of it that way. It is hitting your blood, right?

Bloodstream, yeah.

Makes it sound kind of weird. Makes it sound kind of not great for yous. But, I mean, this sounds amazing, Luke, what you're describing. I open my email app. A gentleman, a gentleman by the name of Sklarov, is imploring a response from me. I know that I can no longer ignore his pleas. A task such as this calls, for a second, good grass. And this is a good decision. The last that I will make today. I will make good decisions in the future. and one of the very best will be to support my beloved podcast and the co-bros that conjure podcastery magic out of thin air. Thank you, co-bros. Thank you. Wow, what a dispatch. Yes. That's like some Rum Diaries shit. I love that. It's like a less annoying Hunter S. Thompson.

I'm behind on the White Lotus, but that gives me sort of that vacation-y White Lotus vibes. Absolutely. Which makes me stay safe out there, Luke, as well, because bad things happen sometimes in White Lotus

properties you know that my takeaway from that show which is very basic of me was i need to figure out where these hotels are and start staying at some of them one of our listeners

and friends oh yeah i just remembered who it is but i won't identify her just in case it's not public knowledge um a family member first i want to say her father i'll tell you off air luke but somebody uh who we are both personal friends with i believe her father runs or ran one of the the hotels that white lotus is based on i think season two maybe season one i can't remember

definitely not season three i do believe it is something that has now been like the

think it's the four seasons like one of them was a was a four seasons which now is offering you know the white lotus i think they may have even they might be selling like branded you know like polo shirts and things like it's definitely uh been monetized but um but yes i am as as i mentioned yesterday as my sort of frustration with severance grows my love of white lotus also grows kind of in uh in opposite directions anyway uh thank you so much luke for the nice message and uh and thanks Also, Catherine, for supporting TBTL today. Couldn't do it without you. Hello, and welcome to Top Story. All right. Let's talk about this tape that you were playing for me before the show started, that I just was like, this needs to be in the show. This is gold. How did you land on this audio tape of Scott Hoy?

So let me just give you a little background on After These Messages, a podcast about commercials. With Genevieve, it lands in your pod catcher every Tuesday evening. Wherever you cast your pods. We usually, wherever you catch your pods, where I usually, you know, we will come up with some sort of a theme and find commercials that fit that theme. Where have we heard that before? And the theme can be just something absolutely silly. Sometimes, you know, one of my favorite episodes going back years and years now was Sell It Like Selleck. And I just found a bunch of commercials with Tom Selleck back in the day. played them for Genevieve audio only and she had to guess whether or not uh Tom Selleck had a mustache in that particular commercial one of my favorite themes so anyway uh we do stuff like that well yesterday I was down in the dumps and and feeling definitely some existential dread about the world and Veves was too and so I just came into my studio I didn't even tell Genevieve what the theme was I'm like I'm gonna work on the show and I'm like I'm just gonna find commercials that sort of like kind of capture that feeling of existential dread and I did that but it was hard it was a difficult thing like sometimes you're just kind of like i don't know commercials that take place on an airplane easy to find those things you google it a whole bunch of things come back when you start looking for these more kind of yeah existential yeah what's the i almost said which would have been a really a proper that would have been great these nichey in both terms uh both meanings of the term uh commercials were hard to find so i found maybe a handful of them but in my in my scouring the internet i also just sort of like i just kept on stumbling on a bunch of weird ass or or sometimes good what was what was the search term what were you binging i mean i first started with just existential commercials tv commercials did that bring back anything yeah that brought back a progressive commercial where i mean i don't know how much we want to go into this but there's a progressive commercial where do you do you know that flow for a while had two nemeses in progressive they were these two guys in silver suits who represented the competition and they were just like these two like white guys very generic looking who were the her foils

anyway i don't know if i it doesn't really matter those are really the tbtl of of insurance ads and

that they're making so many of them all the time they've expanded the universe so much it's it's really impressive i think but anyway these two guys there's a scene where they're just talking to each other being like why are we doing this why do we even dislike flow what is the point of anything that we're doing and so that was that was actually the first thing that i got when i searched that but i started searching for the meaning of life life has new meaning what's the point it's like followed by tv commercials not a lot as as i throw my net overboard to try to capture as many existential fish as possible i didn't catch a lot of existential fish i found some but i also just started bringing up some other weird and interesting commercials and so i told vives we'll also just talk about what else i happened to dredge up today and one and i don't know how i landed on this particular one um somebody labeled it on youtube as the most confusing commercial ever and people put a lot of stuff on youtube people will overdub commercials i got a lot of people like overdubbing commercials to make them seem existential and it's like okay guys let's all let's all grow up here a little bit i have a podcast to produce but this one is real and it is from a lawyer this has all the hallmarks of one of those lawyer commercials where if you live in a specific town or or you know area you know the local lawyer commercials and i was unfamiliar with this guy his name is scott hoy um and i don't know he appears to be in south dakota oh okay thanks for that okay south dakota this was posted to youtube 11 years ago not by him not by his office by but by somebody who grabbed it off of tv and wanted to um share it and they titled it the most confusing commercial ever and apparently it's scott hoy who looks i think like again i don't i told vives on the show last night i don't love getting into like kind of making fun of how people look sure but he's definitely got an interesting look it's a tim Heidecker-esque character.

Or AI generation. I said when I watched it, it's something a bit uncanny about the vibe.

Kind of, oh, back to Star Wars, kind of, as Genevieve said, sort of a Lucas-y bottom of the face, sort of, without the beard, kind of nice head of white hair. Sure. And he's sitting in, I mean, I assume this aired around Christmas time. If not, it would be really bonkers. He's sitting in front of a Christmas tree and a Christmas stocking. They never are remarked upon. And he's just talking directly to the camera. And I'm assuming here, Luke, that some of the things he's referring to, he says some very specific things in this commercial that don't make any sense. And I'm just assuming that he is referencing things that were large in the headlines. And did you say South or North Dakota? South Dakota. In South Dakota 11 years ago. Can I just play this now and let people? And the reason I played it for you is we're often talking about the brilliance of Tim Robinson and his sketches that he writes for I Think You Should Leave and how one of the brilliant things he does is he makes people talk in a slightly odd pattern. It's almost more realistic than most scripted TV, but it's just off by a tick. And one of this guy's sentences, we'll play it all the way through once and then we'll dissect it. But one of his sentences really sort of has that sort of odd structure. He uses the same verb twice.

We've seen a series of one-car accidents recently involving rollovers and serious injuries to passengers. I don't know if it's video games or what, but it's so unfair to, after something like this, to blame people in the backseat or say they deserved it. I don't like consoling these parents about what's happened, but I'll do it until it stops. Will you please stop? I'm Scott Hoy. And I approve this message.

And I approve this message. I guess he doesn't use the verb twice. He splits his verb twice. He says, to, what does he say in the middle? Can you just play it again? Yeah, here, just like, it's that middle line about, and also, like, what are you talking about? Why are you blaming people in the back seat? Is it about distracted driving? What are you talking about?

And how does this relate to his, you know, his attorney practice, his personal injury? Is he defending people who are part of one car crash rollovers, but he only represents the clients that are truthful about what happened.

Did somebody sue the person in the back seat after they crashed their own car saying the person in the back seat distracted me? But also, video games take a stray here.

We've seen a series of one-car accidents recently involving rollovers and serious injuries to passengers. I don't know if it's video games or what, but it's so unfair to, after something like this, to blame people in the backseat or say they deserved it.

To say they deserved it. Is he representing, are his clients people in the backseat? That's what I'm starting to wonder. Please stop. But like, was there a script for this ad or was it just, did somebody just say, let's just get your feelings on this, Scott, and then we'll turn it into the commercial because this feels real, this is real jazz. This is real stream of consciousness, right?

Yeah, it feels like, I feel like there were maybe several takes and it's kind of like, I want to react to these stories. I don't know. I mean, I feel like the more I explain it or try to explain it, probably the less beautiful it becomes because it really is beautiful.

We've seen a series of one car accidents recently involving rollovers and serious injuries to passengers. I don't know if it's video games or what, but it's so unfair to after something like this to blame people in the backseat or say they deserved it. I don't like consoling these parents about what's happened, but I'll do it until it stops. Will you please stop? I'm Scott Hoy.

Does consoling stop? Is that where he gets the billable hours? Yeah. Is consoling the parents?

But he'll console until it stops, but that's not how you stop things, by consoling.

I don't like consoling these parents, but I will until they stop. Please stop.

Yeah.

I'm really trying to figure out where the lawyering comes in here in this whole scenario. I feel like these are generally like, you know, I'm a law tiger and I'll fight for you. I have absolute zero insight as to who the potential clients are in this commercial.

Somebody says it's like the script was written by repeatedly hitting a predictive text button over and over again until it became a sentence. I'm seeing if any of these people in the comment section have any kind of insight. Like, oh, yeah, I see this guy on TV all the time, and this is what he's talking about. I see some people trying to explain it but maybe not doing any better than we have. So I don't know, man.

I mean, what I would say is a lot of these types of commercials for lawyers, like you said, some of them are just kind of –

They're a little amateurish, just because they are. Some of them are intentionally amateurish, because they're in on the joke. Some of them are just like very repetitive, and just kind of hit you over the head with something. But they sort of, they're effective in the sense that you remember them, you might remember the phone number. You might, if you were involved in some sort of a legal thing, you might think of this person. In fact, most of the billboards in LA now, it seems, in fact, I think somebody wrote a piece about this somewhere, that basically lawyers are, other than maybe the movie industry in L.A., are like the main people keeping billboard companies in business because there's so many illegal billboards. But in all of those cases, even if the commercials are bad, they do stick in your head. I don't know what would be the circumstances that I would call Scott Hoy based on this commercial. I was a passenger in the back seat who was blamed. A person was playing a video game or what while driving, and then they rolled the car over, and I was in the backseat being blamed and I will retain his services to console my parents

You forgot video games I don't know if it's video games or what

Andrew

I guess it's definitely aimed at teen drivers because it's like video games are making them drive their cars recklessly. He says specifically one car accidents too so it sounds like these kids are joyriding and then hitting things I am googling around frantically trying to find something that I think I need to give up the fight on because it's going to distract me too much. But I like this comment from somebody who says, I'm surprised it took this long for one of his ads to go viral. They're just as weird as this one. His last commercial was a lengthy explanation. I want to find this so badly. Can somebody help me find this? His last commercial was a lengthy explanation on the new phone system in the office and how it will better serve the client's needs. I think the target audience was people who get confused easily and end up repeatedly jabbing zero until a person comes on the line. I want to hear Scott Hoy explain the

phone system in his office. From findlaw.com, brilliantly confusing lawyer ad brings viral

fame, more business? So we're late to this. This has been celebrated internationally already.

Hoy told the Argus Leader, which I believe is a South Dakota paper, that he's been writing his commercials for 20 years and suspects that trimming the commercial from 39 seconds to 30 seconds caused the confusion uh yeah i think that is kind of what happened i don't know what edits in this i don't know what that nine seconds could have done but also i can tell you i'm watching this

there's no edits like i'm familiar with clips like that i don't buy that uh it would be one thing if

the contents of the commercial were offensive uh like that miserable racist law firm ad from late last month. They have a link to it. I'll just leave that alone. We don't need to hear that. That ad likely did an incalculable amount of damage to the firm's reputation. Hoy's ad was confusing, and yet, some might also say, argue that it's endearing. Even Fallon, and probably Jimmy Fallon's late-night mocking of the lawyer and his ad had a jovial tone.

Okay, so we're definitely late to this. What is the date on that? Is that like 10 years ago or something? This was written

by William Peacock Esquire. If you write for findlaw.com, I believe. and this was, it says last updated March 21st, 2019

okay, sounds good, it looks like some of these are going back, the commercial itself on YouTube that I was playing is from 2013 so I guess we're a little bit late on this you know, I want to take back something that I said, and I want to clarify or ask you a question about something you just said, first of all, when I said I was like sort of challenging the fact that this was cut down, he must be talking about the script probably, not it was cut down in post I'm sure he's like, well, I was trying to get my ideas out there and we had to cut out certain lines. So I guess that does make sense. I'll back off of that. And just to be very clear, when you were talking about some sort of like racist ad, that was not Hoy, right? That was another. No, no, no. Yeah. OK, I just want to make it.

It was referencing some something that happened with some other law firm where they had put something out that was regrettable.

Yeah.

But yeah, that was I want to make sure that that's not none of that is connected to Scott Hoy attorney.

OK.

And also, he seems to be taking it all in stride. And here we are talking about him years and years later.

Yeah, what a legacy.

I will say, well, I don't know. I will say that the absurdity of that commercial would dissuade me from retaining his services. Sure, yep. Like personally. I'm not telling people in South Dakota what to do. He could be a great trial lawyer. He could really know his stuff. But that would, the incoherence of that isn't what I want to pay $200 an hour for to have standing up in court representing me.

Right, yeah, yeah. It doesn't instill a lot of confidence. Yeah. Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. No, man, it's not from a female.

All right, emails.

vmails yes you know i was looking for something at the last minute here i have a voicemail from a listener they are anonymous here they did not leave their name but i'm going back in my archive do you remember i use this in intro packages sometimes somebody called our voicemail years and years and years ago and was very excited because they were using um i think they were using the bathroom for the first time after it had been cleaned in a mall or it's 10 o'clock in

the morning i'm in the charleston town center mall and uh i think i'm the first one in this bathroom this morning it's perfectly clean so power up i don't know if you remember hearing

that over the years i was charmed by that voicemail probably 10 years ago i think this might be the same person i did not have to play that i was just thinking of it on the fly and i have this problem of having thoughts and then keeping them to myself i think this might

be the same person andrew luke i need help i'm spiraling because the world is terrible and i i'm thinking about getting into baseball but i need to figure out what team i should get into obviously i can't do the mariners because that would be i'll be sucking up to you guys so i'm i'm thinking about the orioles i don't know help me find a team to make the world not I'm terrible because I know nothing about sports. So it's been a day from New York City.

And I'm in a bathroom.

Do you think it's the same person?

Sounds similar.

Yeah. I don't know if it's the same person or not. Either way, I enjoy both of these voicemails. Yeah, absolutely. Keep them coming. Can we reexamine the idea of not becoming a Mariners fan? Don't worry about sucking up. It's not sucking up.

Yeah. And by the way, would that be the worst thing? People to suck up to us a little more?

Exactly. Now, if it's between rooting for the Mariners or donating during the TBTL-a-thon, I would encourage you to donate during the TBTL-a-thon and screw the Mariners. Having said that, I don't think it would be sucking up. Now, I would say this. It's a recipe for pain. Yes. If you're looking for escapism that will make you feel better about things, I don't know that the Mariners are the solution for that. Because if they have the type of season that they've had in the past and you end up being very, very frustrated, you will start bringing all of the bad energy you have about the world onto the team. If you're mad at millionaires and billionaires right now, you're going to start getting really mad at the millionaires and billionaires who are very cheap about running the Mariners. So that's the one thing I would warn you against with the Mariners. But I would like more people to celebrate and bemoan with. Yes, absolutely. So I would reconsider that for starters.

Yeah, not to mention that if this listener, they said their name was Dave.

They didn't say a name. That's the whole thing.

I thought they said Dave in New York at the end.

Oh, is that what he said at the end? I thought, oh, I thought he said something about he doesn't want to root for New York at the end. Oh, no, no, no. You're probably right. I heard it wrong here.

Enhance.

Help me find a team to make the world not terrible because I know nothing about sports. It's listener Dave from New York City.

Oh, listener Dave from New York City. I'm sorry I misheard that. I apologize to you and Dave, who I refer to as Anonymous. Also, Dave, was that you who pooped in that clean toilet? Okay, so, well, I love that. I mean, no offense, but I love that he's not just, like, going straight to the Yankees.

Or the Mets, although the Mets, for some reason, seem more rootable. But they're not, you know, the Mets are not underfunded either.

But they're kind of lovable losers, which is what I'm drawn to. Like, you don't want to root for the Dodgers, for God's sake. That would be a bad move, right? In 2025, suddenly becoming a baseball fan and rooting for the Dodgers would be – I can't scare you away from that enough, Dave.

Yeah, I mean, if you're going to do that, just become a Yankee fan in New York. Like, if you want to root for the Empire, then you might as well just stick with the pinstripes. But, yeah, so teams – I mean, I honestly think Seattle would be a fun team to root for, not because of the on-field product, but because there is a high probability that Andrew and I will devolve into much baseball talk this summer. And and then you'll kind of know what's going on. That would be an argument for the Mariners.

Yeah, that's the thing for me as a as a listener to the Levitard show, I now root for the teams that they are invested in. You know what I mean? Like I if the heat or whatever, unless it's against a team that I have a rooting interest in as a Mariners fan. Like, yeah, I like hearing about the Marlins. And so if I happen to be somewhere and a Marlins game is on or if I'm or if I'm looking for something to listen to and I look at a big, long list of baseball games that are currently playing, I might choose the Marlins. Certainly when it comes to basketball, there's no competition in my heart. I would always root for the heat. There's something nice about turning on a podcast that isn't specifically about that sport or that team, but just knowing that you're going to hear updates about them. So, again, I guess I'm just pushing for the Mariners here.

But other teams that I would include Minnesota Twins.

Twins.

The Kansas City Royals.

That's what I was going to say, yes.

What are some other...

I would say, oh, I like the Orioles.

I like maybe Milwaukee Brewers. Brewers, I don't know much about, but I did stop a guy. I shouldn't. Why do I do this to other people when I don't want them to do it to me? But I stopped a guy in the Sprouts grocery store the other day. We were in the bulk food section. He had a little daughter there. They're very, very cute together. He looked like he had maybe just had a run or something like that. He was in kind of workout gear, but he was wearing that Brewers logo is cool, isn't it? Like, that's the only thing I know about the Brewers and that they used to be the Seattle Pilots, right? The Brewers were a Seattle team, so that's kind of fun. But I was just like, hey, man, I love that Brewers cap. How are they looking this year? And he said, I don't know. We always get close. And we always get to the playoffs, but never anything after that. So that's all I know about them.

I would also throw in the Pittsburgh Pirates.

This might be the season. And they've got Paul Skeens.

They've got that big mountain of a man pitching.

Yes. And I've been hearing a lot of buzz about the Pirates. So if you wanted to sort of, like, get on board, you know, on the ground floor, this might be the year for that.

It's just basically avoid anything from New York, Los Angeles, or Boston.

Although, I mean, the Mets, I got to say, the Mets' colors are really cool. Like, it's fun to look at the Mets in their uniforms and everything, don't you think?

Yes, and I remember being, like, I really liked this pitcher named Ron Darling, who was a Met back in the day. And they had, I think they had, who else did they have? They had a few guys that I thought seemed like kind of cool dudes. So I remember kind of liking the Mets when I was a kid. And they have Mr. Met, too, the guy with the big-ass baseball head. And Mrs. Met.

Oh. Do you know that there's a Mrs. Met?

Is there a Mrs. Met?

Do you know that's the joke that me and Pauly, when we were at the All-Star Game, we were actually at the draft. What was it? The 2023 baseball draft that was here in Seattle because it was part of the festivities. And we saw a Mrs. Met kind of hanging around. And she's like, she is like Mr. Met, only her outfit is like what they wore in, like, what's the movie with Geena Davis? League of Their Own. Yeah, she's kind of got this League of Their Own. Thelma and Louise. League of Their Own baseball. I'm about to start naming other Geena Davis movies. It's like that uniform. You know, Death Becomes Her. Wait, is that Geena Davis? No. No, it's not Geena Davis. God damn it, Andrew. Beetlejuice. Uh-huh. Okay, Beetlejuice is one. Anyway. But, yeah, Pauly leaned over to me. He says, is there a Mrs. Mr. Met? Which is just one of my favorite jokes of all time. That's great. Yes. I'm looking through the list of baseball teams here. And, yeah, I would honestly, like, I get, when I think of teams that give me the good feeling, I think of the Kansas City Royals, certainly. I think of the Twins. I still am pushing for the Mariners. And I think those are the main ones. Stay away from the Blue Jays, if you don't mind.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, peace and love to our listeners in Toronto and in Canada, generally speaking.

Yes, good call. Good call on that.

We love them. We love you. But, you know, it's not great when the Blue Jay fans descend on our ballpark. It's a raucous time. So, anyway. And give us, Dave, if you are the same person that called from that bathroom, keep us posted on, you know, your various bathroom adventures. Although now we will know it's you.

Yes, exactly. Maybe you didn't leave your name the first time on purpose.

Exactly. We've outed you, sir, as a person who enjoys clean bathrooms. Nothing wrong with that. All right. We didn't get to the Adrian Brody backlash, but I'm sure it'll still be backlashing tomorrow, so we'll get into that.

I'm going to make a production suggestion here. Okay. Genevieve might be working from home tomorrow. I might try to hook her in on that conversation. Oh, I'd love it.

Mostly the listeners would love it.

Yes, exactly. Before we got into this Oscars talk earlier this week, I had just neutral to good feelings about Adrian Brody. And boy, has the worm turned. And Genevieve has been on this tip for a long time. She says, I've been telling you that ever since Tina Fey warned us about him 15 years ago. So I'll see if I can carry on that conversation.

Okay, yeah, would love to get some clarity on things. All right, that's going to do it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. We will be back here tomorrow with more Imaginary Radio. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. take care of yourselves and please remember no mountain too tall and good luck to all

power out